Emily Anne
by amyytayy14
Summary: This is the story of Emily Anne Winchester. The little sister of Sam & Dean. The story explores how the dynamics of the show could change if a sister had been thrown into the mix. Emily is brave like Dean, intuitive like Sam, but has they eyes and temper of her daddy John. The story follows the show but has original bits as well.
1. Chapter 1

Great, so much for our typical salt and burn. Dad had only let Dean and I go on some pretty simple cases on our own. This one is turning out to be a little more complicated… turns out the body of this man was cremated, something else is keeping him around. Nasty spirit to tell you the truth, he likes to scalp his victims.

"Dammit… what could it be?" My brother Dean asked more to himself then me.

Dean was smart, as smart as dad if you asked me even though he would humbly deny that. He was 10 years older than me and as much of a father as he was a brother. Dad was gone a lot.. hunter's life and all. Dean half-raised me and Sammy since we were little.

Sam would have figured this thing out by now if he was here with Dean. He was always more useful then me when it came to hunts, don't get me wrong I can hold my own and kick some ass but he was so good at figuring out what the hell was going on, I on the other hand focused on how to kill it, and not much else. Too bad he was off being normal boy at college. He left us 4 years ago. I was 11 then and just learning to hunt, I needed him around but I guess I could understand why he'd wanna take off. What I didn't understand is why he stopped loving me. Wouldn't take my phone calls, wouldn't email or text back, never replied to voice mails, nothing. Complete radio silence… do you know what that does to an 11 year old? Now at 15 I'm not so touchy feely on the subject, screw Sam. I had Dean, my rock. While he pissed me off at least once a day he also always had my back and loved me enough to make up for losing a brother.

"Hey Dean, what would someone use to scalp people?"

"I don't know Em, would have to be something mighty sharp, fairly big too"

"You mean like that old blade we found in the evidence box back at the police station?"

"Yeah, actually… that could be exactly what's still got the old man kicking! Nice job kiddo!"

I grinned, I was slowly but surely getting better at doing some research and putting things together when we were on hunts. I was pleased with myself but more pleased that I had beat Dean to the conclusion.

"Dad didn't answer my call earlier have you talked to him at all this week?" Dean asked.

"No, I haven't actually… I figure he's just busy on that hunt he split for. Something about a spirit in Jericho."

"Hmm. Alright, lets head back to the police station and get that evidence box, that way we can get out of this crappy town."

"Oh come on Dean, you're only saying that because that waitress wouldn't give you the time of day." I chuckled to myself while a very offended Dean turned to me in mock horror."

"I think you misread that, It was me that clearly blew her off. You're still too young to really understand how all that works anyways." Dean smiled at me and slightly raised his eyebrows. Dean is convinced I'll be a virgin till I'm 80 and proceeds to scare off any guy that even looks in my direction for more than 30 seconds.

"Dean you do realize that I'm 15 not 5, I know a lot more than you think I do."

He turned to me again this time with a slightly frantic look in his eyes and a voice that showed he was trying to cover it up, "Yeah okay like what?"

I laughed noticing what he was doing, he was baiting me into "the talk" I was not gonna fall for this one.

"Just drive Dean."

We arrived at the police station, I let dean go in alone. I was too young looking to pass for a cop and opted to wait it out in the impala. Not even 5 minutes later dean returned with the box and we headed off to a vacant spot off the road to burn this damn blade.

The deed was done and we were back at the hotel ready to pack up not even a half hour later.

"Hey Em call dad again and tell him we're finished. See if he wants us to come to him or if he has another one for us to do"

"Yeah sure." I dialed the number… 4 rings later his voicemail picked it up. " Hey dad its me, we finished up and need to know where you want us to head next. Call back soon okay. Love you."

"Dean he still isn't answering, don't you think that's a little odd?"

"Nah, I'm sure its like you said earlier. He's a busy guy. I tell you what why don't we hit the road and head towards California anyways. Its more than a days drive out and we can stop at anything that looks interesting on the way.

"Yeah sounds good! Does this mean we might get a day off?" My eyes were big as I looked to Dean with hope radiating off of my face. He laughed at me. He knows I'm always down for a day off. I loved hunting but it was nice when we could just do something normal for a day.

"Maybe. Lets go and see what kinda trouble we can find along the way." Dean grabbed my bag and his and loaded them into the trunk. I went and checked us out, when I was leaving the lobby a bright orange piece of paper caught my eye. It was an advertisement for open mic night at a local bar… cash prize of $500. Part of me wanted to ditch this place but the other part wanted to go, I could sing decent, I was no Cher but I could carry a tune. Besides, its more about your stage presence and working the crowd anyways. That I had picked up from Dean. While he hadn't necessarily taught me to perform he taught me how to hustle, and it seemed to carry over into performing. It was all about the confidence you brought to the table.

"Alright De, lets get the hell out of dodge."

He peeled out and cranked Zepplin's Black Dog. I smiled, he knew it was one of my favorites.

(ONE WEEK LATER)

Dad still wasn't answering his phone, I was starting to get really upset. Dean was too even though he was trying to hide it from me. I stood there and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. My long wavy brown hair was just under my boobs in the front and half way down my back, time for a trim. But it was the bags under my brown eyes that caught my attention. Its not like I'm obsessed with my looks or anything but I hated looking so… tired. I knew it was not hearing from dad that was making it hard to sleep at night. Dad and I had a good relationship. He was harder on me then he was the boys, but he also was more affectionate. He balanced it out for the most part. I loved my daddy and missed him when he left us to go on hunts. He would go a few days or more without talking but this is going on a few weeks. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was not right.

Me and Dean had been on the road this whole time, only stopping to sleep, making pointless circles state to state prolonging getting into Cali. Dean was enjoying the variety of women along the way, leaving me in the car to have his fun when he found a girl to fall prey to his charm. I know it may seem weird but at this point I was used to it, It was slightly annoying but still gave me time to myself which I wouldn't get any other way. Usually I spent it singing out loud to myself in the impala. Picking songs I'd like to perform one day. Nothing fancy, just your local dive bar crowds with a lot of drunken tippers. To be fair dean was also stopping at any roadside attraction I asked him too. I had seen the "world's largest" of damn near everything it felt like.

I finally stopped looking at myself and gave up trying to will the bags to go away on their own. I walked out of the bathroom to see Dean packing up our stuff.

"Alright Em, lets head for Cali."

"Did dad finally call back?"

"Umm. No.. he didn't. But hey listen I got us a job so lets hit the road, I wanna be there by tonight"

I didn't question it any further and soon we were back in the impala. I felt myself nodding off to sleep so I laid my head against dean's leg and passed out. Before I knew it he was shaking me awake.

"Hey.. Emily.. wake up.. EM!"

"Hmm.. yeah what?"

"We're here… but don't be mad okay?"

As I sat up and looked around outside I slowly turned to look at Dean who had this guilty look on his face. This was not gonna be good. I could already feel myself getting angry.

"Dean." I said cold and hard.

"Why are we at Stanford."

I glared at him waiting for a response… he held my gaze as if he was trying to assess the situation. I could tell part of him felt guilty but the other part was getting irritated at my attitude.

"Look Em. Dad did call me back… left me a voicemail with some EVP on it. I think he's missing and I think we're gonna need Sam's help on this one."

I stared at him for what felt like minutes before speaking… "So you not only lied to me when I asked if dad called but then you proceeded to trick me into coming to see Sam. What the fuck Dean? I never went with dad on his little check up runs so what makes you think I'd wanna come with you now?!"

"Emily stop. I'm not dealing with your shit tonight. This is happening. Get over it."

I could tell I had pissed him off but I didn't really give a fuck at this point. I was more pissed off at him.

"No. Dean. I'm not getting out of this damn car until we leave."

"Oh yes… you are." His eyes went wide, almost like he was daring me to defy him again. I knew what would happen, he'd drag me out against my will.

"FINE! But I want nothing to do with this!"

"FINE!" He yelled back at me. I angrily yanked at the door handle and swung the door open.

"Hey! Don't take that attitude with baby! She's not taking any of your shit tonight either. " Damn Dean and his obsession with this car. It was a beautiful car, but Dean took things a little too far when it came down to it.

We walked up the steps to an apartment which I'm guessing has to be Sam's. It was a nice place really, but it was dead quiet out here. I stopped and checked my watch… 3 am? "Seriously Dean?! You wanna knock on the door at 3 in the morning?"

"No Emily I'm not that rude. I'm just gonna go in through the window and find myself a beer." He had on a shit eating grin while he spoke those words. I knew what he was really doing. He wanted to rile Sam up.

I followed him inside and stood against the wall waiting to see how long it took… 1..2..3..4. There it was. The loud slam as a body was thrown onto the floor. Whose it was didn't matter to me. I could care less at this point. I just wanted to go back out the window and hide while Dean as preoccupied.

"Whoa, Easy there tiger!" I automatically recognized that to be Dean. But I wasn't the only one.

"Dean? What the hell man?! You scared the crap out of me!" Sam spoke up next… yep. Couldn't forget that voice either. Even though I've tried. My heart kind of jumped at the sound. It'd been 4 years since I heard it in person. Its not the same as a recording on the phone. Yep. That window was looking more and more appetizing to me at this point.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Well, I was looking for a beer."

"Uh, the phone? "

"If I'd'a called, would you have picked up? " Dean said the words with a tone that screamed guilt trip. I smiled at that and chuckled to myself. Sam deserves a good guilt trip. A lot of a sudden the lights flip on and theres some hot blonde in a too tight smurfs shirt standing in front of us all.

"Sam?" She asked.

"Jess. Hey. Dean, this is my girlfriend, Jessica."

"And that would be our sister Emily standing in the corner." Dean announced. Geez Dean thanks, I was just fine being hidden. All of a sudden Sam turned to me and we locked eyes. He hadn't even noticed I was there until now. He really was getting rusty. His face went from shocked to smiling. What the hell is he smiling at?

"Em?! I didn't even see you there!" He walked towards me and to my surprise wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I was frozen, not sure what to do. I don't wanna hug him, but I don't wanna make this awkward either. I just wanna leave. I decided to swing one arm up around his neck and let him have this one hug. It would be the last though.

When he let me go he locked eyes again and its like he was staring into my soul. He had this intense expression I couldn't even explain if I tried. All I could do was stare back in silence. It wasn't till Dean spoke and began to hit on Jess that we tore apart from each other's gaze.

"Oh, I love the Smurfs. You know, I gotta tell you. You are completely out of my brother's league."

"Just let me put something on."

"No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously. Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. "

"No. No, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her."

I rolled my eyes, but I could tell Sam really loved this girl. Just the way he stood next to her, the way he looked at her. She was his everything.

"Ok. Um. Dad hasn't been home in a few days."

"So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later."

"Dad's on a _hunting trip_. And he hasn't been home in a few days."

That's when it happened. Sam's face dropped.

"Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside."

Finally! My chance! I quickly reached for the door and started down the stairs to the impala. Dean wasn't gonna stop me anyways. He was too busy with Sam. I stood there at the impala watching my brothers. Both of them, together. It made some part of me very happy to see that again, I almost wanted to smile, but it made another part of me so angry that it hurt. How can Dean act like the last 4 years never happened.

The faint sound of their arguing pulled me back into reality.

"I was nine years old! He was supposed to say, don't be afraid of the dark." Sam said a little too loud.

"Don't be afraid of the dark? Are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark. You know what's out there. "

"Yeah, I know, but still. The way we grew up, after Mom was killed, and Dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her."

This made Dean glance down at me from the stairwell. He tells me all the time I remind him of mom, I couldn't look at him right now. So I turned away pretending not to listen.

"But we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we can find." Sam carried on.

"We save a lot of people doing it, too."

"You think Mom would have wanted this for us?"

Dean rolled his eyes at sam after hearing that and descended down to the impala with Sam right behind him.

"The weapon training, and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors." Sam just wouldn't drop it.

Dean finally turned around and spoke up, "So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?"

"No. Not normal. Safe." Sam then looked at me but I wouldn't let myself turn and meet his gaze. I was standing by the driver's door and the boys were at the trunk. Sam lowered his voice, did he really think I wouldn't hear him?

"Look at Emily, Dean. Is this what you want for her knowing she could have better?"

"Excuse me?" Dean said a little too calmly. Great. Here it comes. You've never truly seen shit hit the fan till you've watched Winchester shit hit the fan.

"You heard me Dean." Sam was stone faced and not backing down.

"Let me tell you something Sam. No one has Emily's best interests in mind more than me, okay? She kicks ass at the job, she's prepared, and she's brave. She knows the truth and knows how to protect herself, she gets it."

My heart swelled hearing Dean's words. He said them so low I'm sure he thought I didn't hear them, but I did, and If I wasn't trying to still be mad at him for making me be here in the first place then I would have smiled at him. Sam must have taken the hint that he was pushing his luck because he dropped it after that.

"What was he hunting?"

"All right, let's see, where the hell did I put that thing?" Dean fiddled around in the trunk looking for God knows what.

"So when Dad left, why didn't you two go with him?"

"We were working our own gig. Simple salt and burn."

"Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself?" Sam looked suspiciously between Dean and I.

"I'm twenty-six, dude. Besides I'm not by myself, I told you Emily here can kick some ass on the job."

"All right, here we go. So Dad was checking out this two-lane blacktop just outside of Jericho, California. About a month ago, this guy. They found his car, but he vanished. Completely MIA."

"Maybe the guy was just kidnapped."

"Yeah. Well, here's another one in April. Another one in December 'oh-four, 'oh-three, 'ninety-eight, 'ninety-two, ten of them over the past twenty years. All men, all the same five-mile stretch of road. It started happening more and more, so Dad went to go dig around. That was about three weeks ago. I hadn't heard from him since, which is bad enough."

Dean suddenly pulled out a tape recorder, this caught my interest and I turned my body to face the back of the impala and took a couple steps forward, but still not looking up from the ground.

"Then I get this voicemail yesterday." The one he lied to me about.

"Dean...something big is starting to happen...I need to try and figure out what's going on. It may... Be very careful, Dean. We're all in danger."

What the hell? Something big? What is that supposed to mean? I had an all new pull in my stomach. Like it was suddenly being twisted into a knot. This can't be good. What if dad is hurt.. or what it.. NO. NO. No I won't let myself even go past that. I can't get myself worked up right now. I quickly noticed my breathing had increased and become more audible. I threw a quick glance to the boys to see if they noticed or not. Dean's eyes caught mine and I knew he saw me panic. I pulled it together and began to walk back towards the front of the impala. Sitting on its hood. Not wanting to listen to anything else but the crickets.

"All right. I'll go. I'll help you find him. But I have to get back first thing Monday. Just wait here."

"What's first thing Monday?"

"I have this...I have an interview."

"What, a job interview? Skip it."

"It's a law school interview, and it's my whole future on a plate."

That was enough to make me tune out again. I rolled my eyes. Sam really has this whole new life. A life without us, without me. I was so busy throwing myself a mini pity party I didn't notice that Dean had come to sit beside me until the weight shifted next to me.

"I saw that you know."

Great. Dean was always overly protective. I have this problem with getting panicked and worked up. He's caught onto the early signs and tries to calm me down before I get too far ahead of myself and can't be calmed back down.

"No you didn't." I spit back harshly. I'm still pissed at him, I don't want him comforting me. I want him to go away.

"Emily. Give it up. I know you better than that. Look at me…" I held my gaze forward refusing to meet his. He sighed and jumped off the hood going to stand directly in front of me.

"Dammit Em. Just look at me." I quickly turned my face and stared at the ground. The next thing I knew his hand was under my chin forcing me to look up again.

He searched my face for some sort of reaction, a sign of panic. All he found was me trying to be tough by acting pissed off at him. I know he sees right through it. But I was still gonna try and bluff him out. I don't cry, and I'll be dammed if I'm gonna start now.

"We're gonna find him kiddo, I know your pissed at me right now, and that's okay. But I need you to trust me anyways. Sam can help us here, we need him Em." I scoffed and pulled out of his grip.

"Lets just go find dad, Dean." Was the only thing I could think to say at this point. I jumped down off the hood and walked to the backdoor of the impala. I knew Sam would try and sit up front and I was not gonna be stuck sitting between them. I hunkered down, pulled my hood over my head, and popped in my ear buds cranking my iPod as loud as possible so that they would get the point I wasn't in a talking mood.

Dean quickly got in the driver seat, it wasn't more than a few minutes later I heard the trunk open, then close. Sam slipped into the passenger seat and turned around as if he wanted to say something to me. He stopped when he heard my music blasting out of the earbuds. He had an almost defeated look on his face when he turned back around.

Grrrreat. This is gonna be loads of fun isn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: I guess I forgot a disclaimer on the first one! But I own nothing but Emily. Thanks guys for following and favoriting already! I woke up and was shocked to see a few people had already jumped on and read it! I'll try and update as often as possible!**

We've only been in the car for two hours and I could already tell that this hunt was gonna drag. We pulled into a gas station and the boys jumped out to stretch and pump gas. Normally I'm jumping out and running for the food but this time I decided I'd sacrifice to not have to interact with Sam. What was I supposed to say to him? I can't pretend nothing happened. I can't just drop it. But Its not worth starting a fight knowing he's only gonna be here a couple of days.

"Hey Em," Sam said pulling me out of my thoughts, "Come inside with me real fast, I wanna grab some food and cup of coffee.

I rolled my eyes but opened the door and climbed out, going to follow behind sam who was already half way to the door. All of a sudden someone grabbed my arm and caused me to turn back to the impala.

"What do you want Dean?"

"Just be nice okay? For a couple of days I'm asking you to play nice… for me." The look on his face was half telling half pleading. He wanted to be able to just boss me around as usual but he also knew this was a touchy subject and not to push too far on this one. I rolled my eyes and shook my head up and down before skipping forward to catch up to Sam and his gigantor legs.

When we walked in I went straight for the candy isle while he looked through a basket of bananas and apples… some things never change I guess. We wound up meeting by the coffee machine, not that I drank that nasty stuff but I knew that's where he was headed.

"So.. how are you liking the whole hunting thing?" Sam asked trying to be polite.

"Its fine. Keeps me on my toes, you know how it is.

"Yeah, I guess I do. But hey uh, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I know you're pissed at me for leaving and I get it. But I missed you, and Its good to see you Em, you're so… grown up. It kinda blows my mind." Sam chuckled a little to himself before looking at me to wait for my response. I mean what the hell am I supposed to say to that? I know what I want to say, but that would go so far against Dean's request to be nice. Guess I'll just fake it these next couple of days. I gave Sam a small smile, "Thanks Sam. Do umm, you need anything else before we head back?"

"No, I'm good."

I took this chance to quickly end this little chat and return to my iPod in the backseat. If I just avoided him I wouldn't have to fake playing nice so much. I hated being fake, I'm not even sure he fell for it. We couldn't have been on the road for more than 5 minutes before I noticed that Dean kept glancing back at me while his and Sam's mouths were moving. Well, that's not obvious or anything. I turned the iPod on mute and loosened the ear buds so I could hear them.

"She didn't even yell at me Dean. What the hell have you done with my little sister? She's pissed at me and she's not gonna just drop it like that. She's not gonna get over this till she's honest with me."

Dean glanced back at me once more and this time I met his gaze, he quickly looked away. Geez Dean. You're terrible at hiding shit from me.

"I don't know Sammy. Maybe she's just more mature then you give her credit for. You have been gone for 4 years… a lot can happen in 4 years. She's not that little girl anymore. She had to grow a pair and move on in life. Was she nice to you at least?"

"Yeah. Too nice. That's how I know she's lying. I'm not an idiot Dean, besides not that much can change in 4 years. She's still Emily… I've known her for her whole life. She can't hide shit from me. She used to tell me everything without me even asking."

"You can't expect to just come back out of nowhere and things be like they used to be, she's seen stuff Sam. She's got some blood on her hands. She grew up."

Sam just sighed and turned to look out the window. I wanted to scream at him. How dare he talk about me. He left. He didn't care about me anymore, so why put on an act like he does now. What will it matter in two days when he's gone again? I was trying so hard not to speak up that I was biting on my lip and could taste the blood. He's back for 3 hours and already I'm losing my mind. I kept telling myself to just play nice… 2 days. You can play nice for 2 days.

A few hours later we were pulling into Jericho when we noticed a scene on some bridge. Dean pulled out fake badges for him and Sam and handed me an old crappy camera and a note pad. I knew the drill, I was a reporter for a local school, at least for the next 5 minutes. I quietly made my way around the scene trying to stay out of eye sight while Sam and Dean did the talking, I snapped a few shots before Dean's snarky attitude towards the sheriff caught my attention. I made my way back to the impala watching my brothers bicker the whole way back.

"Where to now boys?"

"Well we are going to talk to some chick named Amy, the vic's girlfriend. Word has it she's putting up posters all over downtown." Dean said as he pulled away from the scene.

"Do you wanna drop me off so I can book us a room while you go and chat with the lady?" I offered. I knew that me coming along doesn't do any good when Dean's pulling lead on talking to women. Besides, Sam would go where Dean goes, and I had some looking around of my own I wanted to do.

"Yeah I guess so." Dean pulled into the closest motel and left me there with my fake ID and the credit card to match. I walked to the desk and booked a room, when the guy looked at my card he looked back at me and spoke.

"Family reunion in town?"

I looked at him confused as hell, "Im sorry?"

"Another guy with the same last name booked a room a few weeks ago, still has it."

I froze momentarily before speaking again, "Oh yeah, that's my uncle. Hey he said he would be back late tonight but he has some stuff for me in his room. Would you mind pointing me in the right direction?"

This was going to go even better than I thought. I wanted Dean to ditch me so I could focus on finding dad while the boys handled the case, and here I already have a good idea on where he is. I walked into the room and had to hold my nose as the door swung closed behind me. Dad's not been here in forever… I wonder how long he paid in advance for the room. He must have thought he would be in town for a while, so what the hell made him take off and leave all this shit behind? I spent the next few minutes digging around for a sign of where he might be or where he might have gone… no luck. The phone in my back pocket began to ring.

"Hey we're headed back what room are we."

"Well we're in room 512, but Dean… you need to come to room 317 when you get here. You gotta see this."

"See what? Emily you better not be getting into shit while no ones there to help you."

"Chill, I'm fine. Just. Hurry up."

The impala pulled in 10 minutes later and there was a knock on the door, I opened it up and watched as both my brothers went to cover their nose. I laughed, "Don't worry, you get used to it after a few minutes… Dad was here Dean." He looked at me and then began to go through all the papers on the walls and the stacks on the desk.

"Salt, cats-eye shells...he was worried. Trying to keep something from coming in." Sam said.

"What have you got here?"

"Centennial Highway victims. I don't get it. I mean, different men, different jobs—ages, ethnicities. There's always a connection, right? What do these guys have in common?" Dean pondered outloud.

"Dad figured it out." This caused me and Dean to both turn to Sam for an explanation.

"What do you mean?" Dean eyed him curiously as if there's no way Sam saw something he didn't.

"He found the same article we did. Constance Welch. She's a woman in white."

"You sly dogs."

"All right, so if we're dealing with a woman in white, Dad would have found the corpse and destroyed it."

"She might have another weakness."

"Well, Dad would want to make sure."

"He'd dig her up. Does it say where she's buried?" Dean asked Sam.

"No, not that I can tell. If I were Dad, though, I'd go ask her husband. If he's still alive."

"Well start on getting an address Sammy. Hey kiddo you gonna come with this time or are you wanting to lay low?" Dean asked eyeing me, he knew exactly what I was doing. I couldn't care less about this spirit. I wanted to find Dad.

"I think I'll lay low and keep an eye on things." He looked at me like he was gonna object but he didn't. He hates leaving me alone but knows I'm doing my best to tolerate our current situation.

"Okay, but we're gonna go check out that bridge later tonight, So I'll be coming back to get you."

"Yeah okay." I wasn't gonna press my luck.

I went around to the local store, popped my head in at the diner, asked a few people on the streets. No one had seen dad around for atleast 2 weeks. I was getting frustrated. Dean texted, I was walking back to meet them at the room when I heard the Impala coming down the road. I smiled. Saves me the walk.

"So this is where Constance took the swan dive." Dean was so nonchalant.

"So you think Dad would have been here?" I asked.

Well, he was chasing the same story."

"Okay, so now what?" Sam was getting impatient.

"Now we keep digging until we find him. Might take a while. "

"Dean, I told you, I've gotta get back by Monday—"

"Monday. Right. The interview."

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I forgot. You're really serious about this, aren't you? You think you're just going to become some lawyer? Marry your girl?" Right, like Dean forgot anything. He was just trying to bait Sam into sticking around.

"Maybe. Why not?"

"Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you've done?"

"No, and she's not ever going to know."

"Well, that's healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy. But sooner or later you're going to have to face up to who you really are."

"And who's that?"

"You're one of us."

"No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life."

"You have a responsibility to—"

"To Dad? And his crusade? If it weren't for pictures I wouldn't even know what Mom looks like. And what difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom's gone. And she isn't coming back."

Dean grabbed Sam by the collar and shoved him up against the railing of the bridge. Great. Here we go again. I stepped between them my back against sam and trying to pull Dean's attention to meet my gaze.

"Dean! Stop! We don't need to do this right now…"

"Don't talk about her like that." Dean's glare was glued to Sam's face. Sam was not backing down.

All of a sudden I looked up and saw her. Standing on the rail and looking down over at us.

"Umm.. Dean… Sam…."

I instinctively grabbed Sam's hand out of shock and maybe even a little fear. They turned just in time to watch her fall. We all ran over to the edge and looked down searching for her in the water.

"Where'd she go?"

"I don't know."

Then out of no where I heard the impala start up. We all turned to look and I fell back into my old habit of hiding behind Sam. I couldn't help it. It was like an instinct. He grabbed my with one arm pushing me further behind him, but still keeping me close to his body, protecting me.

"What the—"

"Who's driving your car?"

Dean pulled his keys out of his pockets and we all shared a quick look of panic before the car lunged forward and came for us.

"Dean? Go! Go!"

I was a fast runner, but it was doing any good against the car, it was catching up quickly. Before I could understand what was happening I was being pulled side ways and flung over the railing. I heard the car come to an abrupt start right in front of us. It was then I realized I was dangling a solid 40 feet or more in the air, only being held up by one of Sam's hands.

"Oh my god.. Sam! Sam pull me up! Please! Sam!"

"Hold on, I gotcha… I gotcha I won't drop you."

He finally pulled me back onto the railing. Then I started to look around for Dean.

"Dean… Dean?"

"What?" I heard it off in the distance. I looked down to see a body crawling out of the muddy water and onto the bank.

"Hey! Are you all right?" Sam asked.

"I'm super." Dean replied with heavy sarcasm.

Sam and I laughed as we watched Dean slowly make his way onto the bridge and go straight to inspect the impala.

"Your car all right?"

"Yeah, whatever she did to it, seems all right now. That Constance chick, what a bitch!"

"Well, she doesn't want us digging around, that's for sure. So where's the job go from here, genius?"

"Now we figure out how to gank the bitch." I smiled as I said it, this was after all my favorite part!

"Hey Dean…" I said cautiously. "You smell like a toilet."

Dean looked down before mumbling a string of profanities under his breath. We headed back to the motel room to regroup and figure out how our next move. Dean decided to go out and grab food, I was perfectly content watching the back of my eyelids.

"Hey, Emily.. come on we gotta go.. now." Sam's voice pulled me awake.

"Sam what's wrong?" I asked drowsily.

"Dean's been made, 5-0s here, we gotta go fast."

Me and Sam were out the window in the next 60 seconds running for the cover of the tree line a ways behind the building.

We waited for the cops to bail out and went back to get the impala from the parking lot. Now its just me and Sam… alone. The one thing I've been trying to avoid this whole time. He put in a fake 911 call to let Dean have a chance to escape. They seemed to discuss something rather important but I figured I'd get the information from Dean when we caught up to him. I didn't wanna ask Sam. He pulled out of the lot and drove out towards the edge of town, the silence was awkward to say the least. Then Sam broke it.

"Hey are you okay, Em?"

"Yeah… I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be." I tried to say as nice as possible but it came out kinda bitchy.

"You just seemed a little scared on the bridge, I didn't mean to toss you over so far. I'm sorry kiddo."

"Well I didn't end up covered in mud like Dean so I guess I should thank you for that."

"Emily I wish you would just get this over with… I know you're trying really hard to be nice but you're still pissed at me. I'm sick of tip toeing around it. I left. It pissed you off… just admit it already!"

I turned to look at him, glare at him really. Wow. Get a load of the sack on this kid. How dare he.

"You really think I'm this fucking pissed just because you left to go to college Sam?"

"Well if that's not it then what is it Emily?! Tell me! You used to tell me everything! You used to open up and be honest with me! You trusted me!"

"YEAH BECAUSE YOU USED TO LOVE ME SAM! I get why you left! I would have done the same thing If I was you, I didn't get mad because you left me Sam I got mad because you stopped loving me! To be honest I wasn't near as mad as I was fucking confused! What in the fuck could I have done at 11 years old to deserve that?! I called you every day for WEEKS! You never once called me back Sam! I needed you! I wanted my brother to love me but you just didn't care anymore!"

Wow. There went my play nice plan… If I'm being honest it felt good to say it all. I've held it in for 4 years. I Took a deep breath, deeper than I have in a while it felt like. It was then I noticed my face was wet… what the fuck? Seriously? I let this make me cry. Sam just stared at the road for a minute. I glared a hole into the side of his head. Waiting for him to answer me. He finally took in a sharp breath and looked over at me. His face was… indescribable. It was like I broke him. Just like he broke me.

"Emily do you honestly think I don't love you anymore?" He finally asked.

I sucked up the tears that were trying to escape, "Yeah Sam. I couldn't explain it any other way. You just… forgot about me."

He pulled off to the side of the road and turned his whole body to face me.

"Emily I could never stop loving you. You mean the world to me, Em. Seriously… look at me."

I finally looked up and held his gaze in mine. "Leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did. Do you remember Dean having to drag you back inside? I replayed you screaming my name for days in my head. I almost came back… several times. I knew if I answered that phone I wouldn't have the will power to stay. But I had to stay Em. I needed that for me. You were the one thing that could have sucked me back in, I'm so sorry Emily. I'm so sorry you felt that way. I just figured it would be easier on you to just not call, I didn't wanna drag your emotions around by not answering and then calling out of the blue when I had finally convinced myself nothing would make me leave. I thought I was doing the right thing."

"Sam. I needed you…. I still need you. I love Dean and Dad, but I love you too. Theres only certain things I could tell Dean and Dad. I could tell you anything. You were the one who told me it was okay to cry when Dean rolled his eyes and dad told me to suck it up. You were the one who snuck me pain meds when I tried to tell Dad and Dean I didn't get hurt. I felt like I always had to impress them, but with you I could break a little and know you wouldn't judge me. Then when you left I had to suck it up, be tough.. all the time. I didn't have you to go to anymore. Dean came around after a couple years, but its not like you could be replaced." I was just letting the tears fall at this point, Its not like I was sobbing or anything. But it was like I was releasing all this pent up… emotion. The words, the tears. I felt 20lbs lighter by the time I was done.

Sam reached across the seat and pulled me into his chest. This time I didn't stop him. I never realized how bad I wanted this back until I let myself be vulnerable to him again.

"Emily, I swear. I'll never bail on you again. Even while I'm at Stanford, I swear this time I'll use the phone, the computer, I'll come meet up with you guys. I won't leave you again, okay?"

I pulled away from him, "Yeah, okay." Then I got the sudden chill and heard her voice behind me.

"Take me home." It was Constance, sitting behind Sam and I. I reached for Sam's jacket and had a death grip on his sleeve.

"No." Sam glared at her in the rearview mirror and said the words.

All of a sudden the doors locked themselves. Me and Sam both tried to open them but had no luck, then as if it couldn't get any worse the car began to drive forward against Sam's control.

"Sam." I yelped. He grabbed my hand and held it tightly, not sure where we were going.

We ended up in front of an old large run down house.

"Don't do this." Sam pleaded with her.

"I can never go home." She said.

All of a sudden she was sitting in the seat between Sam and I, I screamed as the door flew open and I was flung out of the car into the gravel below.

"Hold me. I'm so cold." She said as she climbed into Sam's lap.

"You can't kill me. I'm not unfaithful. I've never been!"

"You will be. Just hold me."

She leaned down to kiss him as I went around to reach for my gun, what the hell?! It must have fallen out in the floorboards. I began to look around for something to use as a weapon when I heard the sound of a shot gun go off. The next thing I knew Sam floored it and ran the car straight into the living room of the old house.

"Emily!" I heard Dean coming closer to me.

"You good kiddo?"

"Yeah I'm good… we gotta get Sam!"

We both ran into the house and helped Sam climb out of the car, it was moments before she reappeared and we were all being flung against the car with a dresser. She stared at us with hate in her eyes, but then I heard something else….

"You came home to us mommy." Oh what in the actual fuck! Ghost toddlers?

She seemed terrified as the children approached her, they grabbed her hand and they all fell into a puddle in the floor. It was disgusting. I honestly felt like I could puke. The boys pushed the dresser off of us. I could finally catch my breath.

"So this is where she drowned her kids." Dean said.

"That's why she could never go home. She was too scared to face them."

"You found her weak spot. Nice work, Sammy."

"Yeah, I wish I could say the same for you. What were you thinking shooting Casper in the face, you freak?"

"Hey. Saved your ass."

"I'll tell you another thing. If you screwed up my car? I'll kill you."

Sam and I both laughed and he swung his arm around me. Dean looked at me and smiled. I sent him a genuine smile back for the first time in days.

We quickly hit the road with nothing but a busted headlight, Sam got off easy. Dean finally shared with the group about his conversation with Sam earlier. Dad left us his journal, with coordinates. That was kinda the final say on the fact that dad had left on purpose. He didn't wanna be found yet. But he wanted us to keep hunting. We were going somewhere in Colorado. Well, after we dropped off Sam. Dean tried to get him to stay, but I knew it wouldn't work.

We pulled into Stanford pretty late again. Sam got out and pulled his bag from the trunk. I jumped out and wrapped my arms around him. He returned the hug, squeezing the breath out of me and lifting my 5'2 self off the ground with a chuckle. " I love you Sammy."

"I love you too Em. I'll call and let you know how the interview goes okay?"

"You better or I'll have to come back and kick your ass." We all laughed.

Sam and Dean said a short goodbye and that was it, Sam went inside and I curled up to Dean's side as he turned on some ACDC and pulled out of the parking lot.

"So I see you either got really good at playing nice or you and Sam finally talked."

"Yeah yeah yeah. You were right Dean. I'm glad we got Sam's help."

He looked at me with pure shock.

"I'm sorry, could you repeat that for me? No wait, where did that recorder go?"

I punched him in the arm and we both laughed. All of a sudden it got cold again, I got this horrible gut feeling, the radio went staticky and I turned to look at Dean.

"Dean! Its Sam! Go back!"

He flung the car around and we were flying back to Sam's apartment. This knot in my stomach grew tighter and I felt the panic in me rising. Dean noticed and grabbed my hand, squeezing it tight. Letting me know he was there.

We pulled in and Dean flew up the stairs, I was fast but couldn't keep up. I heard Sam's screams and Dean yelled at me to run back to the impala. I was trained to obey, and I was terrified. I trusted Dean. So I ran. I ran and locked myself in the car, turning to watch Dean drag out Sam as the apartment building erupted into flames.

No… No where is Jess?!

As Sam and Dean grew closer and I heard Sam's cries, I already knew the answer to my question… I jumped out and ran to Sam. I locked my arms around his waist. Letting him know he wasn't alone. The sirens grew louder as they all pulled into the previously quiet parking lot.

Poor Sam. I knew he would take this extremely hard. I was so relieved we had cleared the air before we left him again… I couldn't imagine the situation if we were still at odds. My brother needed me. I was gonna do everything I could for him. Dean and I both were, we shared a look of pain as we watched our brother fall to pieces in our arms.

Days past, the funeral came and went. I watched Sam cry more than I ever have before. We stuck around for a week or two trying to figure out what exactly had happened. Sam was keeping to himself for the most part, but he would sometimes talk to us about it. More often then not I was there to be a silent comfort. Just to sit with him so he wasn't alone. He wasn't sleeping, and when he did he had nightmares. Dean suggested it was time to head out, get away from this town and get a new perspective on things. I think he didn't want me to know but I overheard him and Sam discussing that the thing that killed Jessica was the same thing that killed Mom. In order to find that we'd have to find dad.

So here I sit in my usual spot in the backseat. Carefully watching Sam. I wanted him back, I was glad he was back. But I hated that the events that got us here. I closed my eyes waiting to doze off, next stop, Colorado.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to the followers who jumped on this bandwagon early on! I hope I can keep you happy! I'm humbled! I would love reviews! Since this is the beginning of the story the chapters are kinda long because I wanna fill in bits and pieces from the past that play in later. Sorry if there's any typos! I work nights and I'm writing on limited sleep ;)

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but Emily.

I'm comfortably settled in the backseat of the impala listening to Dean sing along to hot-blooded. Sam on the other hand is sleeping, not peacefully might I add. He keeps wincing, making noises, its obvious that he's having another nightmare. They come all the time since Jessica. I feel sorry for him; I want him to get some rest but I also hate to watch him like this. Dean noticed too. He looked to me and I nodded. He quickly turned up the music loud enough to wake Sam. He expectedly jumped and began to look around before settling with watching out the window.

"Hey man you okay?" Dean asked.

"Yes Dean, for the hundredth time, I'm fine."

"Yeah, sure." Dean was heavy with the sarcasm.

"Would you wanna drive for a while? Sam looked at Dean like he had two heads.

WHAT?! Did I just hear that correctly? No one but Dean ever gets to drive baby! Dean threw a damn fit the last time I tried. Granted I snuck out and took her to a bar not long before that. It was karaoke night with a cash prize. At that point in time I still hadn't told Dean that I had started singing. I almost died when I was mid-performance and saw him standing at the back of the crowd.

 **(Flashback)**

I stared into the mirror backstage trying to mentally prepare myself. I've only been in front of a crowd a few times. I was still getting used to the butterflies. "Come on Emily, you're fine. What's the worst that could happen?" I asked myself… although I really didn't want to consider that answer. I suppose even if I get on stage and choke, or vomit, or pass out then we're outta this town in a couple days anyways and no one here will ever see me again and vice versa.

Part of me wished Dean was here. He was my confidence boost. He always pumped me up before hunts, he broke down the plan and made it simple. Made me feel like I could do anything. The other part of me knew that he would drag me out by my ear if he saw the outfit I was wearing. Bars don't exactly allow 14 year old girls to wander in off the street. I grabbed my most recent fake ID and made sure to go a little heavy on the eye liner. I wasn't passing for 21 but I could pull off 18. What really aided in the age bump was the pleather skin tight black pants, black cowgirl boots, and the red tank that showed just enough of my full C cup to get me into any bar regardless of my age. Plus Dean didn't really know I started singing. He listened to me sing along in the car, but as far as putting in some actual effort and singing in front of people. Nope. He was clueless.

I'm sure you're wondering how I manage to get away from him long enough to pull this off. I told him that I felt bad for spilling chips in the impala and that I wanted to drive to the gas station a couple blocks over and clean her up real good. Then I offered to even run by the store and make a supply run. I figured that would buy me at least an hour or so. I was dressed in 2 minutes in the parking lot, my hair and make-up applied backstage in front of this mirror. When you're a hunter you learn to get ready in a hurry. Being the only girl in the family I earned a couple more minutes than the boys but It was occupied with hair and a little make up usually.

I'm up next, this is a 2 song competition. I've got a deadly combination of old and new under my sleeve. Pistol Annie's 'I Feel a Sin Coming On' followed by Bob Dylan's 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door'. These bars are full of middle aged and older men, men who love to hear a girl sing about sin, but can respect a girl who knows a good old school song when she hears one. I owe that to Dean and my Daddy.

"Emily Collins! 2 Minutes!" A voice hollered towards me. I almost didn't remember that's the name I'd given.

I walked towards the stage and listened as the crowd applauded loudly for the girl before me. She was good, but I need this money. At least the crowd is in a good mood. She walked off the stage and sized me up and down as she walked past. I kept a solid confident gaze pointed directly at her, I know better than to let the competition get into my head.

I stepped on stage, nodding to the band. I was lucky they knew the music, if not I'd be singing with that awful karaoke machine playing an instrumental version. Live bands just knew how to set the mood.

I stepped in front of the mic and could hear the cat calls and whistles, maybe I should have gone a little less revealing on the top. Too late now I suppose. The song starts with me and not the band so I turn and watch for the drummer to give me the nod saying he's set… there it is.

" _I feel a sin coming on…. I feel a right that's about to go wrong. I've gotta shiver down to the bone… I feel a sin coming on."_ The first verse gets a few claps and whistles. I start to sway my hips side to side and snapping the fingers on the hand that doesn't have the mic.

" _I got a buzz in my brain… drunk all alone going down like champagne..."_ The more I got into the song the more my confidence grew.

I don't know where I got the courage but as the chorus started I began to walk down the stage steps and up to some of the tables placed directly in front of the bar. Singing directly to the people in front of me. One at a time. Oh yeah, they were eating this shit up.

" _And you can see it all over my face, sweet temptation all over the place… give me tall dark and handsome mix it up with something strong…"_

I turned to a younger attractive man to my left and got down close on his level, one hand resting on his table. _" I feel a sin coming on. "_

I winked and walked back towards the stage turning back to the crowd to start the next verse.

The guitar was a beautiful sound. It pushed me even more.

" _Please Jesus don't hold me back… I know it aint mine but I want it_ _ **so bad.."**_ I accented those words and slightly bent my knees. A few men threw out some inappropriate words and I tried to ignore them. If only they knew how old I really was.

" _The smoke and the whiskey's got me feeling easy_ …" OH. MY. GOD.

As I opened my eyes back up and looked into the crowd a face at the back caught my attention. It was a pissed off face. A shocked face. A face that wanted to rip me out of this bar. It was Dean.

I quickly ascended the stairs back onto the stage and tried to keep my game face and tone down the flirt game I had been playing. I knew I was already in SO much trouble.

I finished the seductive country song without a problem, the crowd applauded. Some stood. Some whistled. My eyes were locked on Dean's. He stood there frozen. Not even blinking. Since the was a 2 song set the band allowed only a brief second for the crowd to calm down before starting the familiar melody of my favorite Bob Dylan song.

Dean's face suddenly broke a little. I could tell he was impressed with my choice. But he wasn't going to give in that easily. He was still gonna murder me. Might as well make my last few minutes on earth enjoyable.

I sat on the stool and placed the mic back on its stand.

" _Momma take this badge off of me… I can't use it.. anymore."_

" _Its getting dark, too dark to see. I feel im knockin on heaven's door."_

" _Knock knock knockin on heavens door.._ " I repeated the line again and again, taking a little liberty on the last one and playing with the melody. Dragging out the last note. The bar that was just full of rowdy horny men was silent. I hoped this was a good sign.

I closed my eyes pretending that Dean wasn't here. He was making me nervous. Not even because he was pissed, just because he was here. Watching me. The stage is a vulnerable place to be, and its not something I was ready to share with him yet. Guess I don't really get a choice now. I'll probably never get to do this again and I'm not gonna let him ruin the last song for me.

" _Momma put my guns in the ground… I can't shoot them.. anymore_."

" _That long black cloud is coming down.. I feel I'm knocking on heaven's door."_

I finished the song with a bow and a shoutout to thank the band. This feeling was a high. Not the same high as killing a monster. This high was peaceful. I was shocked to see the entire bar on its feet. Dean still stood motionless. Come on bro, not even a clap for your baby sister?

I walked back stage and knew it would be only minutes before Dean was back here. The manager told me there was 1 act left then they would announce the winner. I didn't figure I'd still be here for that. Dean was going to drag me out and kill me. I was DEAD.

Like clockwork I heard the door open and met Dean's eyes in the mirror. I immediately looked down.

"Sooo…" I tried to lighten the mood.

He glared at me for a total of about 8 seconds before ripping out of his jacket and throwing it at me.

"Put it on." He said coldly. He never tore his gaze away from me. I could feel it on my back.

I slid my arms into the sleeves and pulled it around my chest crossing my arms. I turned but kept my focus on the ground. I couldn't look at him yet. I was honestly scared of what he might do.

"Dean… please. Just let me explain"

"Oh Emily, I think you did enough explaining on that stage. Keys. NOW." He had his hand reached out towards me. I quickly handed over the keys and let out a low sigh.

"I can't fucking wait for Dad to hear about this one. I mean what were you thinking Emily?! You steal my car, you go to a bar, ALONE. Then there's this.. this… I mean what are you even wearing? Where the hell did you get it because you never had it before tonight! Do you even understand what those guys out there are saying about you?" His face had gone from angry to angrier as he said that last part. Great. Now he's pissed and he's gonna tell Dad. Who also doesn't know I sing. If you thought Dean was scary then you haven't seen my daddy angry. I was a daddy's girl, but I feared him as well as loved him dearly.

Dean just stood there and stared at me. I finally got the balls to look him in the eye and when I did he must have seen the guilt in my face. Maybe I did take things too far tonight, but I wanted this for me. His expression surprisingly softened a bit.

"Emily you're 14, not 24. This.." He used his hand to gesture to me, " it isn't you. It isn't my baby sister."

"I'm sorry De. I just wanted to bring in some honest cash for once."

"Money? You did all this for just the money?" He asked it like he already knew the answer, he just wanted me to admit it out loud.

"Okay, well maybe I wanted to do this for me. You wouldn't get it." My confidence found its way back to me and I threw my arms across my chest. I'm gonna stand my ground on this one. I had to sneak out, Dean would never have let me go if I told him what I wanted to do, he would have laughed at me.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Dammit Emily. Get your shit and be in that car in the next 15 minutes or I swear I will drag you out by your ear." With that he went back out the door he came in. The act on stage was finishing up her set. They called all acts back on stage. There was 11 of us. All of varying ages, but I was almost positive I was the youngest one by a mile. I hoped standing up here didn't give me away. I was so busy thinking about how different I looked from them that I didn't even realize why they were all looking at me. Wait… what. I looked around as a man walked his way towards me with a hand full of cash. Holy. Shit.

I couldn't believe I won, the crowd was kind, even though I had Dean's jacket hanging over my shoulders like a poncho. Damn him. I felt like it made me look even younger. I quickly said thank you, took my cash and made my way off the stage and through the crowd with the rest of the girls. Catching glares from most of them.

I noticed Dean wasn't even inside anymore, guess he doesn't know I won. I should probably lie and stash the cash. He'd just take it away from me anyway as punishment for my little stunt. I climbed into the already warm impala. Thank God for that because it was cold as hell out here.

"So how much did you win." He asked bluntly as the car began rolling down the road.

"What?"

"The money. How much is it?"

"How did you know I-"

"Emily as much as I hate to admit it, I knew you won by the time you walked off stage. You got a set of lungs kid, and on top of that you know how to work a crowd." He threw a sideways glance at me. "As far as where you learned that I'm not sure."

I was kinda shocked to hear him say that.

"So you honestly think I was good?"

"Em why didn't you just tell me what you wanted to do? I would have taken you up there. I would have supported you."

I scoffed loudly. "Yeah okay, like I believe that for a hot second."

"Well I sure as hell wouldn't have let you dress like THAT, but I wouldn't care if you wanted to get up and sing for some cash. You looked so… natural up there, it was a side I've never seen before and I know you like the back of my hand kiddo."

I grinned and chuckled to myself. He did know me better than anyone.

"That didn't seem like you're first time, how many times have you done this?"

"Just a couple."

"Dad doesn't know I'm guessing."

"That'd be a negative."

"I suppose you wanna keep it that way."

"Roger that."

Dean let out a long sigh.

"Alright, on two conditions. First of all you're buying dinner, and boy am I hungry." I laughed.

"And the second one?"

"You're gonna burn those clothes tonight. In front of me."

"Awww come on De, at least let me keep the pants!"

"Hell no! We're keeping that ass covered, baggy jeans for the rest of your life. You are never wearing anything that tight again!"

"De! I'm not wearing baggy jeans! I hate baggy pants they make me look like a boy!"

"Exactly." Dean grinned to himself. I just rolled my eyes and scoffed.

 **(End flashback)**

"Camping?! Seriously?" I asked my eyes wide.

Dean had come up with a brilliant plan according to him. After we got to Colorado we jumped into the case head first. A guy went missing at the exact coordinates that dad left us. We weren't sure exactly what was going on but It was obvious something was up. We visited the park rangers and the guy's family. Sad situation really. No parents, just close siblings. They want to come out in the middle of the woods and look for their brother, not that I blame them but they have no clue what could be out there.

"Emily I'm so not in the mood to hear your bitching. Besides we're on the job, it's not like I suggested this for fun"

"Dean you realize that we have to sleep on the ground… with spiders!" I was terrified of spiders. Monsters? No problem. I can kill em. Charlotte hanging out in her web? Oh. Hell. No.

"Come on Emily, Its fine. I wont let the spiders eat you." Sam laughed.

"Yeah well I'm bringing bug spray, lots of damn bug spray!"

"You do realize bug spray is for mosquitos and not spiders right?" Sam asked. Damn his know it all brain.

"Thanks for that fun fact there brainiac." Dean said sarcastically.

Dean turns to me and leans down on his knees like he was talking to 5 year old. "Alright princess, I promise I wont let the spiders get into your pink hello kitty sleeping bag and eat you up." He spoke to me like I was a baby. He knew this would piss me off, and by pissing me off it would make me shut up and go without complaint to prove I wasn't a titty baby.

"Fuck you." I said short and sweet with eyes wide.

Sam laughed and we all grabbed our bags out of the trunk before walking up to the guy's siblings, Hailey and Ben.

When we approach we see another man, an older man speaking with Hailey.

"I'm telling you, I don't think Ben should go." The man said.

"Roy—"

"Look, you're paying me good money to keep everybody safe. I think Ben's safest at home."

Dean speaks up and breaks the conversation. "You guys got room for three more?"

Hailey looked at us shocked. "Wait, you want to come with us?"

"Who the hell are they?" Roy asked.

"Apparently this is all the park service could muster up for the search and rescue."

Roy looks us up and down and stops on me. "She works for park services?"

I returned an offended glare to Roy before speaking. "I'm interning for a scholarship program." Hope he buys it. He rolls his eyes.

Hailey then looked Dean up and down in the same manner. "And you're hiking out in biker boots and jeans?"

"Well, sweetheart, I don't do shorts." Dean chuckles.

"What, you think this is funny? It's dangerous back country out there. Her brother might be hurt." This Roy guy was already on my nerves.

"Believe me, I know how dangerous it can be. We just wanna help them find their brother, that's all."

We walked past Roy and began to start up the trail.

A couple hours later I was walking behind everyone but Sam. I offered to bring up the rear but he said he wasn't gonna leave me to be the last in line. I think he knew my short legs were having a harder time keeping up with everyone who had a solid 5 inches or more on me. I had to take 2 steps to everyone else's one. I could hear Dean's voice up ahead.

"Roy, you said you did a little hunting."

"Yeah, more than a little."

"Uh-huh. What kind of furry critters do you hunt?"

"Mostly buck, sometimes bear."

Dean stepped to walk ahead of Roy and lead the pack.

"Tell me, uh, Bambi or Yogi ever hunt you back?"

Out of nowhere Roy grabs Dean by the shirt and pulls him back. We all froze. I discreetly reached around and had a hand on my gun. Sam was watching carefully.

"Whatcha doing, Roy?" Dean asked with a warning tone. Not breaking eye contact.

Roy reached down with a stick and stabbed it into a bear trap, the same bear trap that Dean's foot would be stuck in right now if Roy hadn't stopped him.

"You should watch where you're stepping. Ranger."

Roy just begins walking ahead again.

Dean turns to us and gives a nod like everything's under control. "It's a bear trap."

Well no shit Sherlock.

They walked on and I watched as Hailey approached Dean.

"You didn't pack any provisions. You guys are carrying a duffel bag. You're not rangers."

Dean just ignored her so Hailey grabbed his arm.

"So who the hell are you?"

We quickly caught up but Dean nodded for us to walk ahead. I could still hear him though. He's got a loud mouth. What can I say, It's a Winchester thing.

"Sam and I are brothers, Emily is our little sister, and we're looking for our father. He might be here, we don't know. I just figured that you and me, we're in the same boat."

Hearing dean talk about Dad caused my heart to race for a moment. I want him to be here so bad. I want to find him. I want him to wrap me in a hug and tell me he's sorry for disappearing.

"Why didn't you just tell me that from the start?"

"I'm telling you now. 'sides, it's probably the most honest I've ever been with a woman. ...ever. So we okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"And what do you mean I didn't pack provisions?"

Dean pulls out a pack of M&M's and starts to quickly catch up. Damn my short legs. As he walked by I snagged the bag of candy and stole a handful.

"Hey!" Dean yelled before snatching the bag back.

We kept walking for what felt like forever. Finally Roy spoke up.

"This is it. Blackwater Ridge."

Sam was the first to step ahead and speak up. "What coordinates are we at?"

"Thirty-five and minus one-eleven." Just like dad's journal.

Dean and I walk over.

"You hear that?" Dean asked.

I was quick to reply with a nod. "Yeah. Not even crickets." I knew this was a bad sign. If dad was here he was in serious trouble. Part of me hoped he wasn't.

"I'm gonna go take a look around." Roy spoke up.

"You shouldn't go off by yourself." I quickly added.

He laughed. "That's sweet hunny. Don't worry about me." He waved his gun in the air and looked at me like a was a child. What the hell is it with people acting like im 4!

"Ya know on second thought Roy I hope something eats you." I said with a sarcastic smile.

"Emily!" Dean warned with a hard look. I knew that was my que to shut up.

"Alright," Dean said, "we'll go but we'll stick together."

We walked not far from where we started and I heard Roy yell.

" Haley! Over here!"

"Oh my God." I could hear the pain in Hailey's voice. I felt bad for her… I was missing dad but she was missing someone too.

The tents are torn open and bloody and all the supplies are scattered. It was right out of a horror movie, ya know the ones where a bunch of kids get drunk and go into the woods with no gun. Dumbasses. I can't stand those movies. Protect yourselves idiots!

"Looks like a grizzly." Roy tried to explain. But I knew this was no grizzly. It was something much worse. I looked up and caught Sam's eyes. He was thinking the same thing I was.

Haley started yelling out, "Tommy?"

"Shh." Sam rushed to silence her.

"Tommy!"

"Shh-hh-hh!"

"Why?" Hailey asked, clearly frustrated.

"Something might still be out there." Sam said the words apologetically, knowing she just wanted her brother.

"Sam! Emily!"

We walked over to where Dean called us.

"The bodies were dragged from the campsite. But here, the tracks just vanish. That's weird."

"I'll tell you what, that's no skinwalker or black dog." There goes our only working theories.

"Help! Help!" the foreign voice caught all of our attention. We looked around and tried to see where it was coming from.

"Help! Somebody!"

Suddenly Roy took off running in the direction of the voice and everyone followed suit. But we couldn't find anyone, the voice and whatever made it was gone.

"It seemed like it was coming from around here, didn't it?"

Realization suddenly fell over Sam's face. "Everybody back to camp."

When we got back to camp I got instantly pissed. All of my shit was gone.

"Our packs!" Wow. She's observant.

"So much for my GPS and my satellite phone." Roy said. I just rolled my eyes. The sound of his voice just got on my nerves.

"What the hell is going on?" Hailey asked shakily.

"It's smart. It wants to cut us off so we can't call for help." I could tell Sam was trying to put together all that had happened, like pieces of a puzzle.

" It?" Roy scoffed, "You mean _someone_ , some nutjob out there just stole all our gear."

I went to speak but Dean threw his hand over my mouth. Sam quickly walked over to us.

"I need to speak with you. In private."

We walked away from everyone else. "Good. Let me see Dad's journal."

He quickly thumbs through it till he finds what he was looking for. "All right, check that out."

Dean and I skimmed over the page, ofcourse. Why didn't we see this sooner!

"Oh come on, wendigos are in the Minnesota woods or, or northern Michigan. I've never even heard of one this far west." Dean was skeptical.

"Think about it, Dean, the claws, the way it can mimic a human voice." I threw in, backing up Sam.

"Great." Dean took out his pistol and then waved it in the air, "Well then this is useless."

Sam put the journal back in Dean's hand and got serious fast.

"We gotta get these people to safety Dean." Sam walked back ahead of us.

"All right, listen up, it's time to go. Things have gotten...more complicated."

"What?" Hailey asked, confused.

"Kid, don't worry. Whatever's out there, I think I can handle it." Roy was so damn cocky.

I just couldn't resist.

"Ya know Roy no one gives a shit what you think." I spat at him.

Roy laughed at me before speaking again. "One, you're talking nonsense. Two, you're in no position to give anybody orders."

I made a step forward before I felt an arm pull me back.

"Relax." The voice was Dean's. He knew my temper wasn't helping but that I also had a hard time controlling it.

"We never should have let you come out here in the first place, all right? I'm trying to protect you." Sam picked up where I left off.

"You protect me? I was hunting these woods when your mommy was still kissing you good night."

Oh I know he didn't just speak of my mother. I jumped from Dean's grip and started back with my attidude in full force.

"Yeah? It's a damn near perfect hunter. It's definitely smarter than you, and it's gonna hunt you down and eat you alive unless we get your stupid sorry ass out of here ,but if you're so sure that you can "handle shit" then by all means go find the damn thing!

He laughed at me again, I was really getting sick of this clown. "You know you're crazy, right?"

"Yeah? You ever hunt a wen—" a hand fell over my mouth again and I was pulled away from the group.

"Dammit Emily chill out!" Dean growled at me.

"No! Screw him! Let it eat his ass!" I screamed loud enough to make sure he heard me.

I missed whatever words were exchanged but when Dean and I looked back Roy was approaching Sam, and not in a friendly way.

"Stop. Stop it. Everybody just stop. Look. Tommy might still be alive. And I'm not leaving here without him." Hailey broke up whatever I was missing.

"It's getting late. This thing is a good hunter in the day, but an unbelievable hunter at night. We'll never beat it, not in the dark. We need to settle in and protect ourselves." Dean tried to be the voice of reason.

It was dark outside now, Dean was finished drawing protection symbols on the ground while I sat with Sam. Far away from Roy. I looked over to Hailey and Ben. Poor Ben has been so quiet. Poor kid is terrified. I can tell.

Dean walks over.

"You wanna tell me why the hell you two are so pissy right now?"

"Dean—" Sam started, I know he was gonna lie again, say he's fine.

"No, you're not fine. You're like a powder keg, man, it's not like you. I'm supposed to be the belligerent one, remember? And you," He spun and pointed to me. "Watch that temper of yours."

Sam broke the silence. "Dad's not here. I mean, that much we know for sure, right? He would have left us a message, a sign, right?"

"Yeah, you're probably right. Tell you the truth, I don't think Dad's ever been to Lost Creek." Part of this made me feel better because he wasn't here in danger, but the other part was angry. Why are we here if Dad never showed up.

"Then let's get these people back to town and let's hit the road. Go find Dad. I mean, why are we still even here?"

"This is why," Dean held up dad's journal, "This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession—everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off. You know, saving people, hunting things. The family business."

" That makes no sense. Why doesn't he just—call us? Why doesn't he—tell us what he wants, tell us where he is?"

"I dunno. But the way I see it, Dad's giving us a job to do, and I intend to do it."

I stayed quiet, I didn't wanna discuss this. So I just let Sam take this one.

"Dean...no. I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about."

"Okay, all right, Sam, we'll find them, I promise. Listen to me. You've gotta prepare yourself. I mean, this search could take a while, and all that anger, you can't keep it burning over the long haul. It's gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man."

"How do you two do it? How does Dad do it?"

I thought about it for a second… this is all I've ever known. I'd gotten pretty good at it. If you have to do something in the world to occupy your time might as well help somebody in the process.

"Well for one, them." I looked up to see Dean looking at Hailey and Ben as he spoke.

"I mean, I figure our family's so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. Makes things a little bit more bearable"

"I'll tell you what else helps." I added. I smiled at Dean.

"Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can." Saying it like I was quoting the words right out of his mind.

They both smile, then suddenly we heard twigs snapping close by.

"Help me! Please!"

I stood and grabbed my gun, not that It would help. You have to burn a wendigo to kill it.

"Help!"

"He's trying to draw us out. Just stay cool, stay put." Dean spoke calmly.

"Inside the magic circle?" Roy asked sarcastically.

"Roy.." Dean warned before I could speak.

"Help! Help me!"

Suddenly the cries turn to growls and I instinctively latch onto Dean's arm. I wasn't panicked or anything, but I knew that I was safe if I was close to him.

"Okay, that's no grizzly." Oh now he fucking believes us?

I could hear heaving breathing and looked over to realize it was Ben.

"It's okay. You'll be all right, I promise." Hailey tried to comfort him.

Something rustles in the bushes behind them and Hailey screams.

"It's here." Sam says.

The sound of gun fire makes me jump.

"I hit it!" Roy takes off running.

"Roy, no! Roy!" Dean breaks away from my grasp and runs toward Roy to save his stupid ass. Sam follows but looks back to me first.

"Stay here! Watch them!" He pointed to Hailey and Ben as he spoke to me.

I moved to position Hailey and Ben behind me protectively. It was quiet for a few minutes and then I could hear footsteps.. two sets. Only two. Oh no.

Dean and Sam walked back into the light of the campfire. I met Dean's eyes and knew what had happened without even asking. Dammit Roy. All I could think of were the words I spoke to him just hours ago. Guilt began to roll around in my stomach. I wanted to puke.

"Where's Roy?" Hailey asks. Is she really that stupid?

"He uh. He didn't make it." Dean said while looking down at the ground.

Sam sat with Hailey and Ben while Dean and I sat quietly on a log not far away. We didn't have to talk. He knew I felt guilty after what I said, and I knew he felt like Roy died on his watch and blamed himself. We sat like that a solid 20 minutes or more.

"Its not your fault Dean." I spoke so quietly I wasn't sure he could hear me.

"I shouldn't have let him come out here in the first place."

"De he was gonna do whatever the hell he wanted regardless what you said."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." He looked at me. Reading my face. He was good at that dammit.

"Its not your fault either Kiddo."

"I know but I shouldn't have said what I said to him. I just… get angry. And I say these terrible things sometimes. Its not like I really wanted the poor guy to get eaten."

"I know."

We left the conversation at that, the great thing about Dean and I is that we can snap each other out of a funk if we just talk about it. Its like we need to hear the words from each other to know they're true. Dean and I weren't always this close, but things have happened. Things I can't stand to think about, and as terrible as they were. It pushed me and Dean together. We became a team. Us against the world sorta thing.

We sat there and just listened to the silence. There should be bugs, little furry critters, frogs, all making noises. But instead it was dead silent. I think that was the scariest part of all. We took shifts till morning came, we might actually stand a chance against this thing in the daylight.

"So we've got half a chance in the daylight. And I for one want to kill this evil son of a bitch." Sam spoke the words like he just read my mind.

" Well, hell, you know I'm in." Dean quickly chimed in.

"'Wendigo' is a Cree Indian word. It means 'evil that devours" Sam explains them to Hailey and Ben.

"How's a man turn into one of those things?"

"Well, it's always the same. During some harsh winter a guy finds himself starving, cut off from supplies or help. Becomes a cannibal to survive, eating other members of his tribe or camp."

"Like the Donner Party." Ben spoke, I was almost shocked. He hardly said a word yesterday.

"Cultures all over the world believe that eating human flesh gives a person certain abilities. Speed, strength, immortality."

"If you eat enough of it, over years, you become this less than human thing. You're always hungry."

"So if that's true, how can Tommy still be alive?" Hailey asked.

"You're not gonna like it." I spoke softly.

"Tell me."

"More than anything, a wendigo knows how to last long winters without food. It hibernates for years at a time, but when it's awake it keeps its victims alive. It, uh, it stores them, so it can feed whenever it wants. If your brother's alive, it's keeping him somewhere dark, hidden, and safe. We gotta track it back there."

"And then how do we stop it?"

"Well, guns are useless, so are knives. Basically—" Dean picks up lighter fluid, a beer bottle, and a white cloth.

"We gotta torch the sucker."

We walked into the forest. Sam leading the way and Dean taking up the rear.

"Dean." Sam said.

"What is it?"

I came up behind to see what they were looking at, it was bloody claw marks and broken branches.

"You know, I was thinking, those claw prints, so clear and distinct. They were almost too easy to follow." I said. Both boys turned to look at me in agreement.

All of a sudden we hear a noise in the trees.

I notice something drip onto my arm, what the fuck? Is that blood? I reach up to my nose, I'm not bleeding.

"Dean?" I said quietly, confused.

He turns to look at the blood on my arm and before he can say a word all of a sudden something big and heavy drops on me from the trees. It took me a second to realize it was Roy's body. Bloody and torn.

"Oh god! Get it off!" I started to panic as dean pulled the body off of me and Sam quickly pulled me into his chest. I left his embrace to go to Dean's. He looked hurt but I couldn't help it. I didn't have these problems when Sam was around, he didn't know how to handle them. Dean did. We had to figure it out, together.

"Em, Emily. Look at me." He held my head in both his hands and my breath grew rapid and shallow, I wasn't getting enough air.

"Its okay, Its gone. Its gone. Just breathe. Breathe." I took in long deep breaths through my nose like he taught me.

"I promised okay? You remember? You're okay. Trust me?" He asked. I nodded and slowed my breathing back down. His eyes never left mine. Just when I began to catch my breath I froze, the growling was right behind us. I saw Dean's eyes grow a little wider and he let go and yelled.

"Okay, run, run, run, run, go, go, go!"

We took off running, even with my short legs I was fast and ahead of group. I ran till I stumbled on a branch and Sam caught me.

"Come on, I gotcha, I gotcha."

We hid behind a tree, and Ben quickly ran to our side. We hear Hailey scream.

"Hailey?" Ben said panicked as well.

"Dean!" Sam yells. I didn't even realize he wasn't with us until just then. Oh no.

We quickly began to walk back to where we were originally headed, just the three of us now. I wanted to cry, scream, I was so scared, but I stopped myself somehow. I was determined to get Dean back, nothing would stop me.

"If it keeps its victims alive, why would it kill Roy?" Ben asks us.

"Honestly? I think because Roy shot at it, pissed it off." Sam replied.

I couldn't talk right now, I needed to focus. I kept my eyes ahead looking for a sign. Anything.

"Hey." Ben called, "They went this way."

Sam and I turn to where Ben is pointing at something bright orange in the dirt. Dean you bastard you're a genius!

"It's better than breadcrumbs." Sam shakes his head in amazement.

We followed the trail of M&Ms to a mine shaft, looks like no ones been in here for years.

We walk in, Sam leading the way with a flashlight. Suddenly we hear growls and Sam has us pushed against the wall, lights out. We can hear it getting closer, Sam points to his left and mouths "go" we take off but suddenly the ground beneath me is gone. I landed with a thud in, what the hell… are these bones?!

"Sam!" But when I looked up I noticed Sam and Ben were already up and running towards something hanging from the ceiling of the cave. Dean! I jumped up terrified at what I saw, I went to run to him.

"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay." Sam says reassuring me he's alive.

"Dean!" Sam shook him awake.

"Hailey, wake up!" Ben shook his sister awake.

Dean's eyes open and meet Sam's.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah." Dean winced as he answered us. Oh thank you God! He's alive. He's okay.

We cut down Hailey and Dean.

"You sure you're all right?" I ask, I can tell he's in pain everytime he moves.

" Yeah. Yep." He grimaces. "Where is he?"

"Gone for now."

Suddenly we hear Hailey's voice, "Tommy... "

She starts to cry as she touches his face, he looks bad. Really bad.

"Cut him down!" She cried.

He fell to the ground and groaned, well he's alive. For now.

"We're gonna get you home." Hailey cried to him, stroking his face.

"Check it out." I turn to see Dean going through our missing packs along with others.

"Flare guns. Those'll work." Sam smiles.

We headed down the tunnel to find a way out, Tommy was barely able to walk so he leaned on Ben and Hailey heavily. We were moving too slow.

Growling. Its coming back.

"Looks like someone's home for supper." Dean adds in casually.

"We'll never outrun it." Hailey says looking to Sam.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Dean asks his eyes meeting Sam's. Dammit Dean. This is the stupidest plan ever!

"Yeah, I think so." Sam replies.

"All right, listen to me. Stay with Sam and Em, they're gonna get you out of here.

"What are you gonna do? " Hailey asks him worried.

Dean takes off running down the mine, screaming " I wanna be an airforce ranger!" What a smartass.

Sam made us wait till he was sure the thing was following Dean and not us.

"All right, come on! Hurry!"

Just when I thought we were getting close I heard the growling again.

"Sam, Get them outta here."

"Emily No! Let me go!"

"No Sam! I can't get them out of the forest, I'll just get them more lost. You can. Give me the gun, I'll be fine!"

"No!" He whisper yelled back, I don't have time for this. He was helping Ben carry Tommy in order to move things along a little faster, so I knew he wouldn't run after me. I grabbed the gun from his hand and took off running.

"Come on you big bitch! White meat! Hot and fresh!"

I ran as fast and as hard as I could, screaming, taunting the beast. I stopped and hid behind a wall. Listening. Dammit. It wasn't on my trail anymore. I ran back to where I thought Sam and the others might be.

I rounded the corner just in time to see Dean Standing behind the Wendigo about to attack Sam.

"Hey!" He yells. The wendigo turns and dean fires a shot straight into his chest. He bursts into flames.

"Not bad huh?" Dean asked.

Sam laughed.

"Wait, Sam where the hell is Em?"

I giggled and walked forward, "Right behind you mister airforce ranger. You're a dumbass."

"Why the hell aren't you with them?"

"Because you're a shitty distraction and the thing came back."

"Yeah well you must not be all that good yourself considering I showed up just in time to shoot the damn thing. And it wasn't your ass he was fixing to eat."

I rolled my eyes and punched him in the shoulder.

I was now standing at the back of an ambulance, assuring the guy that I was fine, just a few scratches, he was concerned because I was still covered in Roy's blood. I couldn't wait to get out of this shirt.

He finally released me and I walked past Ben as I heard him describe the "grizzly attack" to the park rangers. I winked and made my way to the impala where my brothers were talking.

"Sam, you know we're gonna find him right?" Dean asked not noticing I had walked up.

"Yeah I do." He nodded slowly.

"Pop the trunk De."

I walked back and pulled out a new shirt.

"Hey. You two giants come stand in front of me so I can change."

"What?! No! You're not changing out here with all these people. Just wait." Dean quickly told me.

"Unless you want me to get dirt and blood all over baby I need to get this shirt off. Its soaked." I stared him down, I wasn't giving in. He just stared back saying that he wasn't going to back down either. Then a smile grew across my lips. I knew exactly how to get my way.

"Okay, fine." I grabbed the bottom of my shirt and began to pull it off showing my bare stomach openly to everyone around us. It barely got up passed my belly button before Deans hands were on mine yanking it back down.

"EMILY! WHAT THE FUCK!"

He quickly pulled me against the impala and him and Sam stood on both sides of me, facing forward, it was like a makeshift changing stall.

"I can't believe you just did that!" Dean yelled while I finished pulling my new shirt down.

"I asked nicely, you said no. I had no other choice." I smiled at him the entire time.

He glared at me and pushed me towards the backseat. Sam shook his head at me before turning to Dean.

"Hey. I'm Driving."

Dean tossed him the keys without hesitation. What a load of crap.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

I can't stop wondering where the hell dad might be. We left Colorado and picked up a random job and had to deal with a pissed off spirit. We waited to hear from Dad for a couple days after that but instead we got a call from an old friend, Jerry. We worked a case for him involving demon possession. Yup. Demons. We picked up a few tricks on exorcism. Surely that'll come in handy later. What we learned after the case however is that dad turned his phone back on. For weeks I dialed his number and left messages, then one day it was disconnected. It was obvious dad did it on purpose. So you can imagine my shock when Jerry says he got Dean's number from Dad's voicemail.

(Flashback)

After saying a quick goodbye to Jerry I made my way to the impala. I wanted to hear it for myself. The boys would be busy with Jerry only for a minute or so longer. I had to hurry. I dialed the all too familiar number, 3 rings… "This is John Winchester. If this is an emergency call my son Dean at *********, he can help." Dad's voice. I missed it. I miss him. Why is he doing this? Why won't he talk to me. My heart felt like it had cracked in half. The boys were walking back. I needed to pull it together. I don't want Dean on my back about this, he already knows I'm worried about Dad and he keeps trying to cover for him. I know he's gonna wanna listen to it, but I didn't want to hear it for the first time with him watching me react. Now I know what to expect and can hold back the emotion my face would have given away.

Sam got in first. "Emily call dad's phone." Sure, its right here on re-dial.

Dean and Sam were both turned around facing me and I had the phone on speaker between the 3 of us. Sam's eyes were glued to the phone as it rang while Dean looked back and forth between it and me. I simply stared straight ahead at the back of the seat in front of me. 3 rings later the same message was echoing in my ears again. Dean watched me. Just like I expected. I held my composure and turned the phone off when it finished. Sam turned around while Dean kept his eyes on me for a few seconds longer. He turned on the car and pulled out without saying a word.

(End flashback)

That was 3 days ago. Dean hasn't brought it up and neither have I. Sam on the other hand hasn't been so quiet about how he thought this whole thing was bullshit.

We're sitting at a diner in the middle of who knows where. Sam's reading through the paper and drinking ANOTHER cup of coffee. He's still having nightmares so he's avoiding sleep. Dean has tried to stay optimistic and I've been abnormally quiet today. I had a nightmare of my own last night. It does that sometimes. What happened. It comes back and reminds me. I woke up gasping for air but luckily Sam wasn't in the room, just Dean. He already knew what it was about so he didn't bother asking. He just told me I was okay and to go take a shower.

"Emily.."

"Helloooooo. Earth to Em." Sam was trying to get my attention but I was focused on something out the window. He snapped his finger in front of my face.

"Dude! What?" I jumped and asked a little angrier then I meant to.

"You haven't touched your food miss mini Dean. You sure you're okay? You've been off since I got back to the room this morning."

"Yes Sam I'm fine."

He looked to Dean confused as to why he wasn't pushing me to talk about whatever this was. Dean just shrugged him off and continued stuffing his face.

"Just tell me what's wrong. You've said maybe 10 words all morning. You have the biggest mouth I've ever seen. So what's wrong." I stared at him. Are you kidding me?

"You first Sam. When's the last time you slept? Having nightmares still?"

He looked away from me and dropped it after that. Dean just shook his head at me, I know I shouldn't have brought it up but it was the only way to get him off my back.

10 minutes later Sam speaks up. "Well looks like we've got something in Toledo Ohio."

It was another 9 hour drive to Toledo and I quickly took my place laying down in the back seat. I wanted to rest, since sleeping last night wasn't so great. An hour into the drive I realized I wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon and was fixing to sit back up when I heard Sam ask Dean a question.

"She asleep man?"

Dean must have looked back in the mirror cause I didn't hear his body shift.

"Yeah looks like it." Hmmm.. what is this about?

"Dude what's going on with her. I know you already know or you woulda made her spill at the restaurant. She didn't even eat. Emily. Did not eat."

"Yeah well she wasn't hungry I guess."

"Dean that girl can rival you when it comes to eating. Why won't you just tell me."

"Because it's nothing Sam. She had a bad dream or something. I'm sure you know all about those."

I was silently thanking Dean for keeping my shit to himself. I wasn't ready to tell Sam. I wasn't ready to go back to that place and talk about it.

"Okay fine. Answer me this then. What's with her getting so scared lately."

"Dude she's not scared. That girl back there faces monsters without blinking."

"Well if she's not scared than what is it."

"She… I don't know. Sam. They're like panic attacks. They're just triggered by random things. Its not that she's necessarily afraid of something. Sometimes she just. Panics." I could tell Dean was trying to give him enough to get him to drop it but not give away too much.

Sam sounded concerned, "Since when did that start happening?"

"About a year and half or so after you left."

"Does Dad know?"

"Yeah. He does. He's seen it."

"What does he think about it all?"

"We were really worried at first. Not sure what to do when It happened. We both used to just get angry at her for it. I just didn't understand why the hell she would get so worked up. Then one night I sat down and really looked into it. We did some reading on how to stop them but it seems it was different for everyone. For her you just have to bring her back to the here and now. Remind her she's okay. Get her breathing again. I just figured out what it was and-"

"And then you figured out how to fix it. Typical Dean." Sam chuckled to himself.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You fix it when she freaks out. That's typical you Dean. There was a problem, and you found a way to solve it." Dean chuckled.

"Yeah I guess."

"So what started causing them in the first place."

My whole body felt tense. Don't you dare fucking answer that question Dean. You've said enough.

"Umm, not really sure man. Something on the job I guess.

Sam mumbled something under his breath I couldn't quite make out. Then he stopped asking questions. Thank God. Normally Dean would have demanded he repeat what he said out loud but he knew this conversation needed to end. I knew Sam would bring it up again though. Typical Sam. Dean likes to fix things, Sam likes to talk things through. I missed that about him, but I was a different person now. I can't just run to Sam and spill the beans on life like I used to.

I hated them. I hated how they made me feel. I hated that I couldn't control my body when they happened. I hated that I couldn't pin point the triggers. I hated that Dean had to be the one to stop them. They made me feel weak and stupid. Like I was less of a person because of them, like I was less of a hunter. I already had enough to prove being the only girl, the youngest child, and smaller built than the boys. This was just another nail in the coffin to make me look bad.

I finally fell asleep not long after that and Sam woke me awake when we got to Toledo. The first stop was the morgue. I was not thrilled about having to go in. We walked up to a desk to find a guy no older than Dean or Sam eating a sandwich and staring at the computer.

"Hey." Dean grabbed his attention.

"Can I help you?"

"Yeah. We're the, uh...med students."

"Sorry?"

"Oh, Doctor—" He was stumbling.

"—Figlavitch didn't tell you?"

"We talked to him on the phone. He, uh, we're from Ohio State. He's supposed to show us the Shoemaker corpse. It's for our paper."

"Well, I'm sorry, he's at lunch."

"Oh well he said, uh—" Seriously Dean?

"—oh, well, you know, it doesn't matter. You don't mind just showing us the body, do you?"

"Sorry, I can't. Doc will be back in an hour. You can wait for him if you want."

"An hour? Ooh. We gotta be heading back to Columbus by then."

Dean turned to look at me and Sam we both nodded and spit out a "Yeah."

"Uh, look, man, this paper's like half our grade, so if you don't mind helping us out—"

"Uh, look, man...no."

Dean laughed a little before turning around to mumble to us… "I'm gonna hit him in his face I swear."

Sam went to pull some cash out of his wallet. WHAT? No way in Hell. I could spend that cash in a much better way. I slapped his hand and approached the desk pushing Dean to the side.

"Sir please. Its bad enough that I got stuck with these too dumbasses for Lab partners. You don't understand I have to get the fellowship to John Hopkins! My grade… no my career is gonna flop if I don't kick ass on this paper. These two have already set me so far back. I'm begging you. Please help me out here." I had laid my hand on top of his sometime during my ramble. I gently squeezed it and pushed some tears to the brim of my eyes. He looked at me, then up at the boys…

"Follow me."

I turned to the boys and winked as I pretended to sniffle.

"Nice job kiddo." Dean patted me on the back.

Sam followed the man in the smelly room. It was disgusting in here.

"Now the newspaper said his daughter found him. She said his eyes were bleeding." Sam stood close to the body.

"More than that. They practically liquefied."

Sam looked closely and I stood directly behind Dean, burying my face in his back and swallowing the sudden lump in my throat. His eye sockets were empty, It was bloody and dark. Terrifying. He reached back and squeezed my arm to let me know when the guy was covered back up.

"Any sign of a struggle? Maybe somebody did it to him?" he asked.

"Nope. Besides the daughter, he was all alone."

"What's the official cause of death."

"Ah, Doc's not sure. He's thinking massive stroke, maybe an aneurysm? Something burst up in there, that's for sure."

"What do you mean?"

"Intense cerebral bleeding. This guy had more blood in his skull than anyone I've ever seen."

"The eyes; what would cause something like that?"

"Capillaries can burst. See a lot of bloodshot eyes with stroke victims."

"Yeah? You ever see exploding eyeballs?" Dean chimed in a little too perky.

"That's a first for me, but hey, I'm not the doctor."

"Hey, think we could take a look at that police report? You know for, uh...our paper."

"I'm not really supposed to show you that."

He turned back towards me and I had a pleading look on my face and my hands crossed in front of me, plus I was squeezing together the girls to make they spring a little more forward than they originally sat in the cami under my flannel top.

The tech looked from my face to my chest, held his gaze there, and then turned around to make a copy.

I looked up to meet Sam's glare, I quickly dropped my arms and let the girls fall back into place.

Dean looked at Sam and then at me as if asking what he had missed. Good thing he didn't see that one.

We climbed back into the impala.

"Might not be one of ours. Might just be some freak medical thing." Sam said.

"How many times in Dad's long and varied career has it actually been a freak medical thing and not some sign of an awful supernatural death?"

"Uh, almost never."

"Exactly."

"All right, let's go talk to the daughter. I think you're safe to leave your cleavage tucked away this time Emily." Sam said staring back at me through the mirror.

"Wait what?! When did I miss that?... Is that how we got the file?!" Dean jumped and looked back to me.

"Oh please it was either I show a little skin or that guy get our money that Sam here was overly eager to give away. I worked hard to earn that money! I've got better things to do with it!" I shot him an accusing look.

"Alright alright that's enough! Sam, quit giving away our money. Emily, pull those things out again and I'll make you wear a turtleneck for the rest of your life!" I scoffed and pulled my cami down to reveal a little more than necessary. Pushing my luck.

Dean's glare hardened and his eyes went wide. "Okay. Okay.. don't have a heart attack geez. Its not like anyone else is in the car."

"Yeah well we certainly don't wanna see them either." Sam added. I just rolled my eyes and we left.

When we pulled up the daughter's house it was obvious there was a funeral going on. We were underdressed for sure, the lawn was full of people. Older people, younger people. He had a daughter in highschool. Many of her friends were here. Male and female, a guy standing in the driveway caught my attention and when he looked over I smiled from the back seat. He returned it. He was cute.

"Yeah that's it. Emily you're staying in the car."

"WHAT? Why!"

"Because I can't trust you to put your tits up and that guy over there is already staring at them! Stay in the car and wait for us to come back. Get out and your dead, understand?"

I rolled my eyes and huffed, Dean didn't take that as an answer I guess.

"Emily Anne Winchester! Do you understand?" Wow. Pulling out my full name. I must have really struck a nerve.

I looked at him, "Sir yes sir." And looked away.

This motel room is super shitty. I mean they're all shitty. But this one was extra shitty. Sam was finally asleep on the bed. I sat on the other one and tried to dig up some information on Bloody Mary. Dean's skeptical but I guess anything is possible right?

Sam started making noises and then jumped awake. He looked up at us.

"Dude did you let me fall asleep?" he was not happy.

"Uh Yeah. Your welcome." Dean snapped back.

Sam just rolled his eyes.

"You know we're gonna have to talk about these nightmares eventually right Sam?

"Yeah sure Dean whatever." He got up and walked to the bathroom.

"Find anything yet?" I asked Dean.

"No not really… but mayb-" he was interrupted by Sam's phone ringing.

He answered. Apparently it was a friend of the vic's daughter. Its happened again. We ran out to meet her at the local park.

"And they found her on the bathroom floor. And her—her eyes. They were gone." The poor girl named Charlie was in tears.

"I'm sorry." Sam said sincerely. He was good at comforting people.

"And she said it. I heard her say it. But it couldn't be because of that. I'm insane, right?"

"No, you're not insane."

"Oh God, that makes me feel so much worse."

"Look. We think something's happening here. Something that can't be explained."

"And we're gonna stop it but we could use your help."

We were currently trying to climb into a two story window at Jill's house. I was pushed into the window by Sam who was right behind me, but when I got in I couldn't get up because a giant fell on top of me.

"Dude! Get off!"

"Sorry Dean shoved me in!"

We all three were finally standing in front of Charlie. Dean laughing.

"What did you tell Jill's mom?"

"Just that I needed some time alone with Jill's pictures and things. I hate lying to her."

"Trust us, this is for the greater good. Hit the lights."

She did so. "What are you guys looking for?"

"We'll let you know as soon as we find it."

"So I don't get it. I mean...the first victim didn't summon Mary, and the second victim did. How's she choosing them?"

"Beats me."

"I want to know why Jill said it in the first place." Dean mused irritably.

"It's just a joke." Charlie tried to defend her dead friend.

"Yeah well somebody's gonna say it again, it's just a matter of time."

"Hey. There's a black light in the trunk, right?" Sam asked.

I looked up and yelled "nose goes" while putting my finger on my nose. Dean was last, therefore he had to scale the house to get back out to the car and in again. Once we had the blacklight we found a name and a handprint on the back of the mirror.

"Gary Bryman?" Charlie asked outloud.

"You know who that is?"

"No."

We left to go find out.

"So, Gary Bryman was an 8-year-old boy. Two years ago he was killed in a hit and run. The car was described as a black Toyota Camry. But nobody got the plates or saw the driver."

"Oh my God." Charlie gasped.

"What?"

"Jill drove that car."

"We need to get back to your friend Donna's house."

When we got there we found a name on the first mirror too.

"Linda Shoemaker."

Turns out that is the vic's wife. She "accidentally" OD'd on some sleeping pills one night a few years back. The conclusion we came to didn't thrill the daughter and she threw us out promptly. Charlie stuck around to keep any eye on her.

We were at the local library trying to find who Mary actually is.

"Wait, wait, wait, you're doing a nationwide search?"

"Yep. The NCIC, the FBI database—at this point any Mary who died in front of a mirror is good enough for me."

"But if she's haunting the town, she should have died in the town."

"I'm telling you there's nothing local, I've checked. So unless you got a better idea—"

"The way Mary's choosing her victims, it seems like there's a pattern."

"I know, I was thinking the same thing."

"With mister Shoemaker and Jill's hit and run."

"Both had secrets where people died."

"Right. I mean there's a lot of folklore about mirrors-that they reveal all your lies, all your secrets, that they're a true reflection of your soul, which is why it's bad luck to break them."

"Right, right. So maybe if you've got a secret, I mean like a really nasty one where someone died, then Mary sees it, and punishes you for it."

"Whether you're the one that summoned her or not."

"Take a look at this…"

"Looks like the same handprint."

"Her name was Mary Worthington—an unsolved murder in Fort Wayne, Indiana."

"Well I guess that's where we're headed then boys."

Dean went and met with a retired detective who worked the case. It was a sad story. The girl never got justice. They think the boyfriend did it. But no proof could be found. Sam tried to call the family and track down the original mirror, it was literally sold days ago, to a store in Toledo. That explains why it's started happening in this town. On our way back Sam's phone rings. It was Charlie, Mary was after her.

We rushed back and brought Charlie to our hotel. We covered every reflective surface before Charlie would reluctantly open her eyes again.

"Hey, hey it's ok. Hey, you can open up your eyes Charlie. It's okay, all right?" Sam tried to soothe her.

"Now listen. You're gonna stay right here on this bed, and you're not gonna look at glass, or anything else that has a reflection, okay? And as long as you do that, she cannot get you."

"But I can't keep that up forever. I'm gonna die, aren't I?"

"No. No. Not anytime soon"

Dean sat down on the bed. "All right Charlie. We need to know what happened."

"We were in the bathroom. Donna said it to be a smart ass."

"That's not what we're talking about. Something happened, didn't it? In your life...a secret...where someone got hurt. Can you tell us about it?"

"I had this boyfriend. I loved him. But he kind of scared me too, you know? And one night, at his house, we got in this fight. Then I broke up with him, and he got upset, and he said he needed me and he loved me, and he said "Charlie, if you walk out that door right now, I'm gonna kill myself." And you know what I said? I said "Go ahead." And I left. How could I say that? How could I leave him like that? I just...I didn't believe him, you know? I should have." The poor girl was in tears all over again.

We left and headed for the antique store that holds the mirror.

"You know her boyfriend killing himself, that's not really Charlie's fault." I spoke up after a few minutes.

"You know as well as I do spirits don't exactly see shades of gray. Charlie had a secret, someone died, that's good enough for Mary." Sam said.

"I guess."

"You know, I've been thinking. It might not be enough to just smash that mirror."

This caught Dean's attention.

"Why, what do you mean?" he asked.

"Well Mary's hard to pin down, right? I mean she moves around from mirror to mirror so who's to say that she's not just gonna keep hiding in them forever? So maybe we should try to pin her down, you know, summon her to her mirror and then smash it."

"Well how do you know that's going to work?"

Sam was quite for a second before he spoke. "I don't, not for sure."

"Well who's gonna summon her?" I asked.

"I will. She'll come after me." Sam said confidently.

"You know what, that's it. This is about Jessica, isn't it? You think that's your dirty little secret that you killed her somehow? SAM, this has got to stop, man. I mean, the nightmares and calling her name out in the middle of the night—it's gonna kill you. Now listen to me—It wasn't your fault. If you wanna blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or hell, why don't you take a swing at me? I mean I'm the one that dragged you away from her in the first place." Dean was snapping.

"I don't blame you."

"Well you shouldn't blame yourself, because there's nothing you could've done."

"I could've warned her."

"About what? You didn't know what was gonna happen! And besides, all of this isn't a secret, I mean we know all about it. It's not gonna work with Mary anyway." I tried to convince him.

"No you don't." What? What is he talking about. I had leaned forward now placing my arm on the back of the front seat and trying to get Sam to look at me. But it was Dean who spoke first.

"We don't what?"

"You don't know all about it. I haven't told you everything."

"What are you talking about Sam?" I still wasn't sure why he wouldn't look at me.

"Well it wouldn't really be a secret if I told you, would it?" He said quietly.

What a load of shit. I was getting pissed fast. Damn this Winchester temper.

"No. Sam this is fucking stupid. You're not gonna go in there and summon this bitch. You're gonna fucking talk to us about this. What the hell is going on?

Well that finally got him to look at me.

"Oh yeah Em? I tell you what. You first. When did you start having panic attacks? I knew when you showed up at my apartment something was off. I could see it in your eyes. You're keeping shit from me too. I thought we were good-"

"We are good Sam this isn't the same thing!" I tried to interrupt.

"Okay knock it off!" Dean yelled.

"Dean that girl back there is going to die unless we do something about it. And you know what? Who knows how many more people are gonna die after that? Now we're doing this. You've got to let me do this."

I was fuming. I couldn't believe Dean was gonna let Sam go through with this.

We walked in the back door of the store after some pro lock picking skills from yours truly. This place was FULL of mirrors.

"Well… That's just great." I can't believe this shit.

"Maybe they've already sold it." Dean said hopefully.

"I don't think so." Sam said standing in front of the mirror that matches the one in our picture.

"Sam, are you sure about this?"

Sam sighed… "Bloody Mary…. Bloody Mary…" He paused. Looked at us both and gripped his crowbar. I did the same with my bat. "Bloody Mary."

Suddenly lights enter the room from the front of the store. Shit, we must have tripped an alarm.

"I'll go check that out. Stay here, be careful." Dean eyed me especially before walking out.

Suddenly Sam caught a glimpse and smashed a mirror. Dammit. I can't see her.

Sam smashed mirror after mirror asking her to come into the one in front of him. Suddenly he fell to the ground. I ran to his side, his eyes were bleeding. I still couldn't see her.

"Dammit!" I can't fight what I can't see. Then something clicked. I knew what to do.

I stood up and looked into the mirror and yelled it three times, "Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary!" Suddenly there she was on my left, I swung. Then on my right, I swung again, and again. I couldn't get her to stay in one spot. Atleast her attention was taken off of Sam for now. Then she appeared behind me. I couldn't turn fast enough and all of a sudden I felt this overwhelming pain radiating in my head. I fell to the ground and screamed. Now I could hear her, I could see her, she was killing me. I looked to Sam who was bleeding again.

"What a pair you two make. Murderers!"

"Sam why didn't you tell her? Why didn't you warn her? You watched her die for weeks in your dreams! You should have known it was coming for her like it did your mother! You left her all alone."

I looked to see Sam losing the color in his face. He was dying.

"Sam! NO! Don't listen.. Sam!"

Then she turned to me, "Oh and you! What a hateful little bitch. You basically taunted and pushed that Man to go after the Wendigo! If you weren't such a little bitch he would have stayed put. Listened. But no, he wanted to prove you and your loud mouth wrong!" I cried out in pain as she stared at me.

"Dean!"

Suddenly a crowbar flies through the mirror and all the pain stops. I crawled over to Sam. He put an arm around me and Dean helped both of us stand.

"Oh God, Sammy.. Em are you okay?" I nodded still unable to speak, Sam spoke up.

"Yeah Yeah, did you get her?"

"Yeah man Its smashed."

We were walking away but I stopped and bent down to grab my bat. Out of nowhere a hand is around my ankle and is dragging my backwards. This crazy bitch just climbed out of the mirror. The pain in my head returns and I can hear Sammy behind me scream out in pain. I swung the bat and shattered the mirror above me. Glass fell all over me but my hand finally found a piece big enough for me to pick up. I shoved it in front of me and the pain stopped. Mary killed herself, the same way she did all her victims.

"Now we got her." I added breathlessly.

When we got back to the motel I was covered in cuts from the glass that fell all over me. Tiny shards in my wounds made it hard to use my hands, they were the worst, the shard of glass I used to kill mary dug a good two inches or more into the side of my hand.

"Alright kiddo. We gotta get all this glass out of you. Its gonna hurt." Dean sat at the table across from me and laid down a clean white towel. He put down a bowel with hot water, tweezers, alcohol, gauze, and a needle and thread.

"Yeah yeah yeah, lets get this over with."

"Hey Sammy I might need you to come hold her arms down, last time I did this she swung at me." Dean said while eyeing me.

"You were literally digging in my hand with tweezers Dean! You were making the wound worse!"

Sam laughed sat beside me. I laid my Right hand down on the towel and pushed it across so dean could reach it. He moved the lamp closer and started to pick out the glass piece by tiny damn piece. Mother fuck. This hurts.

Sam watches me sympathetically and chuckles when I occasionally jump and curse at Dean.

"Hey Em." Sam says.

"Yes Sam.." I said with my eyes closed biting on my lip trying to tough out the pain.

"Remember when we played hide and seek at Bobby's and we lost you for like 2 hours?" Sam laughed to himself and I could hear dean chuckle.

"Ha, yeah I do. You two were taking so long, and it was nice and warm in the backseat of that car. I didn't mean to fall asleep, but I did."

Dean chimed in, "I remember how pissed off Bobby was when he got back from the store and we wouldn't tell him where you were. We couldn't even if we wanted to. We knew he'd call dad and then Dad would beat our asses for losing you."

I smiled at the memory and realized what they were doing, they were distracting me from the pain.

"Thank you Sammy." I said eyeing him sincerely.

"But that doesn't come close to the time I busted you making out with that girl at the library and I ran in telling dad I saw you having sex." I laughed hard after I got the words out.

Dean laughed out loud and had to stop what he was doing for a second. Sam just shook his head and looked down with a small smile pulling at his lips.

"Man you don't even know the amount of trouble you got me in. I was only 13! After I was finally able to convince dad that didn't happen he spent the next hour giving me "the talk"."

Its nice having both my brothers back, but we're still missing one member of the Winchester Family Reunion. My Daddy. I've got to find him. I need him.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Thanks guys so much for reading and following! I hope your getting into the story as much as I am! I have some things I'm really excited to write and I'm doing my best to get chapters out to you as quickly as possible. Please bear with me while the story line develops. I have a direction I'm headed but I'm playing with the best way to get there.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

Mmmm. Who is that? Brown hair, big brown eyes. Good lord get a load of the arms on this guy! I can trace the veins from the shoulder down to his hand. He can come pump my gas anytime.

"Earth to Emily!" Sam yells at me from the front passenger seat.

My eyes flew to him and I smiled briefly, slightly embarrassed that I'd almost been caught oogling the guy pumping gas across the parking lot.

"What are you so preoccupied with back there?"

"Uh nothing, why whats up?"

Sam started talking again but I couldn't resist it. I just had to look at him again, leaning against a jacked up chevy. Suddenly his eyes met mine but instead of being embarrassed that I'd been caught I took this opportunity to smile at him, he smiled back. Oh yeah. I've got to get out of this car.

".. we could get-"

"Yeah yeah sure Sam, hey I'll be right back. Pee break!" I quickly adjusted my hair and glanced at my reflection before stepping out of the impala and walking, no strutting, towards the gas station doors. I could tell his eyes were on me now. I was in jeans and one of Dean's old Led Zepplin shirts but since my chest sticks out much more than Dean's it hugs just right. My long brown wavy hair was down and I topped it off with my solid black converse high tops.

"Hey." He said as I got closer to him. I slowed down and then stopped standing a few feet away from him.

"Nice car, that thing yours?" he nodded to the impala.

"One day." I said with a smile.

"Nice truck. Bet that lift cost a pretty penny." I used my hand to gesture to the large black truck.

He chuckled, "Yeah. Yeah it did. But its well worth it. I'm Ben. I'd love to take you for a ride sometime and show you. You new around here?"

My heart jumped and quickened, I looked at him coyly as he spoke. "Emily. And No. Just passing though unfortunately."

"Well that's a shame, maybe you could leave me with your number and next time you pass through you can do it in style." I giggled.

I was just about to reply when someone butted in and did it for me.

"Oh, trust me. She rides in plenty of style." I jumped and swung around to see Dean. He was giving this poor kid the death stare. Dammit. Cock blocked by my brother… AGAIN.

"Sorry man no insult to the car, Its nice." Ben tried to explain.

"Yeah. It is." He put his arms across his chest and leaned in closer to him. "And she's jail bait."

"Dean!" I screamed at him mortified.

Ben held up his hands as if he was talking to a cop. "Sorry man.. im leaving." He got in the truck as I stomped off back to the impala. Dean waited till the guy was out of the parking lot before taking his eyes off the truck. Then he followed suit behind me.

I got in the backseat and slammed the door.

"Whoa Em wha-" Sam started to ask before he too was so rudely interrupted by our brother who climbed in the driver seat and swung around to lecture me.

"What the hell was that! Were you seriously gonna give that perv your number?!"

"Wait wait what?" Sam turned around too.

"I'm not a fucking child dean I'm 15. I think I can give _MY_ number to any guy that _I_ please! What the hell were you thinking calling me jail bait! That's fucking mortifying! I can't believe you just did that to me!"

He scoffed. "Oh please that guy was at least 20! He could go to jail for looking at you wrong!" Dean argued back.

"Screw you Dean! Stop treating me like a 5 year old. I'm a woman! I'm allowed to look at, speak to, make out with, and do whatever the hell else I decide I wanna do with a man!"

"The fuck you are! You're not allowed to date till you're thirty!"

"Yeah well with this lifestyle I'll probably be dead by 30! Guess I'll just die a fucking virgin!" I threw my hands up in the air while I yelled at him. I could tell that Sam didn't like my comment because he flinched when I said the words" I'll be dead".

"Oh you will if I have anything to do about it!"

"You're such a hypocrite Dean! You fuck any girl that walks by and I get tormented for flirting with a guy!"

"Its not the same thing Emily! And I know better- you don't just flirt! Incase you forgot I busted you with that dumbass kid who thought he could put his hands up your shirt!"

I rolled my eyes and scoffed before turning my glare out the window. He's got me there. But still. I'm a teenager, I think I'm allowed to let some guy get to first base If I damn well please! He was just copping a feel, and damn was he a good kisser.

"You let some guy go up your shirt?!" Sam jumped in, acting like Dean. Great. Now there's two of them.

"Yeah and the poor kid showed up to school the next day with a cast for a broken wrist! He wouldn't even look at me for the rest of the month!" I yelled back keeping my death stare on Dean.

"Serves him right." Dean was staring back.

Things went silent and me and Dean just glared at each other, like it was a competition to see who would cave in first. It was Dean.

He narrowed his eyes, "Dad would have your ass right now if he was here."

Ouch. Bringing up dad being gone. It was affecting us all, but it was reeeally bothering me these last few days and both my brothers were aware of that.

My eyes slightly flinched but I didn't break my focus, I just stared back trying to prove to him I wasn't afraid of him.

"Okay Dean." Sam said in a warning tone. He knew that was a low blow.

"No. And what the hell were you doing while she was eye fucking some guy? You were supposed to be keeping an eye on her! She got out of the car and walked right up to him and you didn't say a word!"

"I was busy!" Sam tried to defend himself.

"Busy doin' what?"

"Reading e-mails."

"E-mails from who?"

"From my friends at Stanford."

Dean laughed. "You're kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?"

"Why not?"

"Well, what exactly do you tell 'em? You know, about where you've been, what you've been doin'?"

"I tell 'em I'm on a road trip with my brother and sister. I tell 'em I needed some time off after Jess."

"Oh, so you lie to 'em." I added in. I was pissed at him too for siding with Dean. If I'm gonna pick a fight might as well make it with both of them.

"No. I just don't tell 'em….everything." Sam said turning back to me.

"Yeah, that's called lying dumbass." I looked at him with sarcasm dripping from my face.

"So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?"

"Well it wouldn't be the first time now would it Sam?" Okay…. That was wrong of me. Damn temper.

"Shut up Emily!" Dean warned me.

Sam looked hurt and turned back around.

Dean turned away from me and spoke only to Sam. "Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can't get close to people, period."

"You're kind of anti-social, you know that?"

"Yeah well whatever." Dean blew it off.

"Dean I wanted to talk to you man… I got this e-mail from a girl, Rebecca Warren, one of those friends of mine."

"Is she hot?" Dean automatically asked. SERIOUSLY?!

"Are you fucking kidding me! That is my point exactly!" Dean ignored me.

"Ughhh… I swear to God one of these day's someones gonna cut that damn thing off." I mumbled getting quieter as I went. Dean glared at me but Sam just kept talking.

"I went to school with her, and her brother, Zack. She says Zack's been charged with murder. He's been arrested for killing his girlfriend. Rebecca says he didn't do it, but it sounds like the cops have a pretty good case."

"Dude, what kind of people are you hangin' out with?"

"No, man, I know Zack. He's no killer."

"Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you." I added.

"They're in St. Louis. We're goin'."

Dean chuckled, "Look, sorry 'bout your buddy, okay? But this does not sound like our kind of problem."

"It is our problem. They're my friends."

Right. So Dean gets to fuck whoever he wants and Sam gets to have lifelong friends. What do I get? To spend the rest of my life with my brother's scaring off anyone who gets near me.

"St. Louis is four hundred miles behind us, Sam." Dean tried to reason with him but Sam was already set on the decision.

I opened the door before I had to listen to them argue anymore.

"Hey! Where the hell do you think you're going?!"

"Too pee Dean." I yelled back with my arms across my chest.

"Would you like to come share a stall with me?"

"Quit being a smartass! I swear if I see you even look at a guy I'll come in there and drag you out!"

"Ughh!" I screamed before stomping off inside.

Turns out there may actually be something crazy going on with this case. Sam thought it would be smart to tell this girl that Dean is a detective. Just the thought of that makes me wanna burst into tears from laughter. She snuck us the evidence tape that shows Zack going into the house. Sam was doing some digging around at the motel when he woke us up in a hurry.

"Alright, so what are we doin' here at 5:30 in the morning?" Dean asked.

"I realized something. The videotape shows the killer goin' in, but not comin' out." Good catch Sammy.

"So, he came out the back door?"

"Right. So, there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never pursue."

" 'Cause they think the killer never left. And they caught your friend Zack inside. I still don't know what we're doin' here at 5:30 in the morning."

Sam was walking around looking at the ground. I was leaned agains the car next to Dean. Still pissed at his little stunt. We've hardly said a word. When it comes to a real fight between me and Dean it's a battle of who's gonna be the first to break the silence. I was bound and damned determined it wouldn't be me this time.

"Blood. Somebody came this way."

"Yeah, but the trail ends. I don't see anything over here."

Suddenly an ambulance flies by. Dean leaves to find out whats going on.

It wasn't long till he was back. Apparently some guy a few houses down beat the shit out of his wife.

"Hey. Remember when I said this wasn't our kind of problem? " Dean asked as he walked up.

"Yeah. " Sam said.

"Definitely our kind of problem."

"What'd you find out?"

"Well, I just talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene, heard this guy, Alex's story. Apparently the dude was driving home from a business trip when his wife was attacked."

"So, he was two places at once."

"Exactly. Then he sees himself in the house, police think he's a nutjob. "

"Two dark doubles attacking loved ones in exactly the same way."

"Could be the same thing doin' it, too."

I turned to Sam, "What about a shapeshifter? They can look like anyone."

"Every culture in the world has a shapeshifter lore. You know, legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men." Sam added on now speaking to Dean. Dean just shrugged in agreeance.

"We've got two attacks within blocks of each other. I'm guessin' we've got a shapeshifter prowlin' the neighborhood."

"Let me ask you this—in all this shapeshifter lore, can any of them fly?" Sam asked him.

"Not that I know of."

I rolled my eyes at him. No they can't. If you weren't such a dumbass you'd be more confident in your answer there horn dog.

"I picked up a trail here. Someone ran out the back of this building and headed off this way."

"Just like your friend's house."

"Yeah. And, just like at Zack's house, the trail suddenly ends. I mean, whatever it is just disappeared."

I looked around and noticed the big circle just below us. Grrrreat. I have a feeling I'm gonna have to go down there.

"Well, there's another way to go—down." They both looked at me before looking at the man-hole.

We climbed down one at a time. Dean tried to help me down as I got to the bottom, I glared at him and he droppd his hands, I jumped instead of allowing him to help me. I don't need his damn help anyways.

"I bet this runs right by Zack's house, too. The shapeshifter could be using the sewer system to get around." Sam said breaking the tension.

"I think you're right. Look at this."

It was a pile of blood, and goo, and skin, and who knows what else. Ewwwww. I might puke. "What the hell is that?!" I went to hide my face behind Sam so I wouldn't have to look at it.

"Is this from his victims?

"You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape—maybe it sheds." Dean said with a disgusted look on his face.

"That is sick." Sam said with the same look. We left the sewers and went to get armed.

"Well, one thing I learned from Dad, is that no matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there's one sure way to kill it."

"Silver bullet to the heart." I said not looking up at Dean.

"That'd be right." He said. He almost sounded proud. But I could give two shits less right now.

Sam's phone rings and we listened as he argued with Rebecca. Apparently she found out Dean isn't really a cop. Go figure! That was a stupid plan from the get go. Now she's pissed at Sam and it may hurt her brother's case. We went back down the sewer to find this ugly bastard.

"I think we're close to its lair." Dean said after we'd been looking for a few minutes.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because there's another puke-inducing pile next to your face there Em."

I turned and saw it, it was inches from me I could smell it so strongly it was like I was tasting it.

"Oh God! Eww.." I jumped back behind the boys and tried to stop myself from gagging.

"Just breathe Emily." Sam said with a hand on my back.

"Looks like it's lived here for a while." Dean said looking around at clothes piles.

"Who knows how many murders he's gotten away with?" Sam said.

I looked up and saw the damn thing behind Dean. Eyes glowing, wearing that second vic, some Asian guy.

"Dean!" I screamed and pointed behind him but it was too late, the thing tackled Dean to the ground. They struggled while Sam and I ran towards him but he jumped up and ran off by the time we got close. Dean was laying on the ground pissed.

"Get the son of a bitch!" We took off running and see the open manhole, we crawl back out.

"All right, let's split up." Sam suggested.

"All right, I'll meet you around the other side." Dean said, "Emily go with Sam."

I did so without arguing.

We ran around and waited to meet dean on the other side of the block.

"Do you see anything?" Sam asked me.

"No. But here comes Dean."

"Hey, you guys get anything.

"No. He's gone."

"All right, let's get back to the car." I followed behind the boys.

"You think he found another way underground?" Sam asked.

My stomach started to knot a little, I didn't know if it was the shitty gas station food or what. But it hurt!

"Yeah, probably. You got the keys?" Dean asked Sam… that was odd. Dean doesn't usually give up so easily. The more I looked at him the more I realized that something was off. Then it hit me. The shifter tackled Dean. It touched him.

I quickly and discreetly grabbed Sam's jacket at the back and briefly yanked.

"Sam!" I whispered.

"What?" He turned to me with a confused look.

"Its not Dean!" I said eyes wide, and it was but a moment later that Sam caught on and turned with his gun on the shifter.

"Whoa whoa whoa!" the shifter threw his hands up.

"Where the hell is my brother?" I asked with a low hard voice.

"Dude, chill. It's me, all right?"

"No, I don't think so. Where's my brother?" Sam added.

"You're about to shoot him. Sam, calm down. She's still pissed at me! She's freaking out for no reason."

"The fuck I am. I know my brother. You ain't him."

"Why don't you pull the trigger, then? Hm? 'Cause you're not sure. Dude, you know me."

The shifter took a step forward towards Sam as if trying to reassure him, but suddenly swung a crowbar and knocked him out. I reached for my gun but was too slow and he hit it out of my hand. I decked him square in the nose and he stepped back. I stood up and turned to get my gun off the ground. I grabbed it but when I stood up to turn it on him everything just went black.

Its wet, whatever I'm sitting in is wet and cold. It stinks in here. My eyes slowly start to open again. I look around. Back in the Sewers. Damn this shifter. I'm probably sitting in sewage. The thought makes me wanna hurl all over. Suddenly there's a voice.

"Where is he? Where's Dean?" Sam asks. I look to my left and See the shifter tying him up to a pole beside me.

"I wouldn't worry about him. I'd worry about you."

"Where is he?"

"You don't really wanna know." He chuckled. I felt like puking again but for a whole different reason. Where is my brother? He has to be okay. I can't live without him. He's my rock. Everything in my life would crumble without him.

" I swear, the more I learn about you and your family—I thought I came from a bad background."

"What do you mean, learn?" Sam asked him. The shifter stopped what he was doing and leaned down close to Sam's face.

"He's sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home. With Dad and Emily. You don't think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. Where the hell were you?"

This struck my nerve. "Shut the fuck up and tell me where my brother is!" When I spoke both Sam and the shifter turned towards me. They didn't know I was awake until now.

"Well well well, look who is awake finally!" the shifter stood up and walked over to me.

"Man. You oughta hear the thoughts rolling around in this head when it comes to you." He shook his head. I just glared at him. Silently.

"He thinks you're a little slut ya know? He thinks you're a hassel. A pain in his ass that Dad stuck him with. Dad didn't wanna be with you anymore so he forced you on Dean." I could feel the tears building but I refused to let this monster see me cry.

"Fuck you." I spat at him.

"Careful, that's bordering incest! Not that a little slut like you cares."

"Don't you talk to her like that you bastard!" I could hear Sam. He was severely pissed off. I've never seen him so angry. Not even in his arguments with dad. But I never broke eye contact with the shifter.

"Dean can't stand being stuck with your issues. He thinks you're weak. He has to baby you and he's sick of it. He wants to leave you. Just like Daddy and Sammy over there." I was biting my lip trying not to let him see it quiver.

"Don't you listen to him Emily! He's lying!" Sam tried to tell me. I'm sure he could see my face fall as the shifter kept going.

"You knew this already, didn't you Emily? You've been thinking it for days now. Daddy left you. He doesn't want you. Sam didn't want you." He waved to Sam and shook his head as if he was pitying me.

"But thank God for Dean right? He wants you! Well kiddo I hate to tell you but Dean just keeps you around to please Dad. He's nice to you because he doesn't wanna listen to you whine. Its annoying."

My heart was breaking with every word that came out of his mouth. He was right. I thought my daddy would never leave me. That he loved me. I've started questioning that recently. How could he really love me if he can just leave me like that. But I've never questioned Dean's love for me… until now. What if he really is the one who just got stuck with me. What if I really am just a burden, I've been difficult to deal with the last few years.

"You son of a bitch. Where is my brother!" Sam yelled at him.

The shifter finally tore his eyes away from me, satisfied with what he's done.

"Well he's on his way to pay sweet little Becky a visit! He wants to bang her, but I have something much more fun planned." He laughed and Sam struggled against the rope. Trying to get free, I just sat in Silence. Trying to reach my knife. Almost got it.

"By now kids, you take care!" The shifter put on Dean's jacket and walked away.

Sam was still struggling against his ropes. "Em… you got your knife?"

"Yeahh.. I .. " I was straining to reach my pocket, ".. almost.. GOT IT!"

I quickly started sawing at my ropes.

"Emily.. you know he was lying. About all of it." I didn't wanna talk about this. I couldn't.

"Yeah Sam."

I could tell by his sigh he knew I wasn't convicned. "Em we love you. Dean, he loves you. You're his whole world Emily. He'd do anything for you. We both would."

I cut threw the final string and broke free running to cut Sam's.

"Emily please say something." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't talk about it.

"Sam.. please tell me its you and not that face stealing son of a bitch."

"Dean?!" Me and Sam both turned around. I broke Sam free and we went around the corner to find Dean tied up to a pole as well.

"Oh man its good to see you!" Sam went straight to work on his ropes. I dug around in the clothes piles looking for our guns. I handed the boy's theirs and stuffed mine into my waist band and wrapped my shirt around it.

"Well he ain't stupid. Atleast he picked the handsome one."

"Yeah, that's the thing. He didn't just look like you, he was you. Or he was becoming you."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, it was like he was downloading your thoughts and memories."

"You mean, like the Vulcan mind meld?"

Sam tried to tell me the shifter was lying. But its obvious now that he believes the damn thing was tapped into Dean's mind. I felt like bursting into tears.

"Yeah, somethin' like that. I mean, maybe that's why he doesn't just kill us."

"Maybe he needs to keep us alive. Psychic connection."

"Alright lets go, this things going for Rebecca." I quickly reminded them. They both looked to me but I was already walking away. I couldn't look at either of them right now.

We knew we wouldn't get to Rebecca fast enough. Sam ran for a phone wanting to call the cops, they'd be faster. Even though It'd be Dean they were busting in on which makes things very difficult for us. Thankfully Rebecca wasn't killed, but the shifter still got away. It didn't take us long to catch up to him. The whole thing was a blur really. It all happened so fast, and my mind was so preoccupied the only thing I really can focus on is watching Dean shoot the shifter, himself. It was an odd site to see. We knew The police would buy Dean's death and we couldn't have him walking around town. We made a quick goodbye to Rebecca and hauled ass out of town. We finally settled at a motel a few hours away.

We walked in and I went straight for the shower. I had to wash this off of me. This whole hunt, this whole day. It was horrible. The entire ride I had my earbuds shoved in my ears on full blast. But even then I couldn't hear the music. All I could hear were the shifter's words replaying in my mind. Making my biggest fear a reality. Maybe Dean does put on this act. I'll be 18 in a less than 3 years. Maybe he's planning on ditching me.

The water was turned as hot as it would go, it burned, but It felt good. I sat there and watched the water go from brown to clear as all the grime was washed down the drain. When I finally felt clean the hot water was gone and replaced with cool water. I got out and dressed for bed. I honestly didn't know where I wanted to sleep tonight. When it was Dean and me alone we each got a bed to ourselves. But we've been sharing beds since we were kids. Motels only come with two and with 3 or 4 of us to a room we would be stuck sharing. I was tempted to try and sleep in the large lounge chair in the corner, but I knew that would send a red flag to the boys, I didn't want them asking me any questions tonight.

Sam heard the shifter, but I wish he didn't. I know he won't just drop it. I just pray he doesn't tell Dean. I don't think I could handle hearing the real Dean admit it was true. It would kill me.

I walked out and went straight to lay in the closest bed, not sure whose it was since both the boys were standing. Sam grabbed his duffel bag and went to shower. Sorry Sammy. No hot water.

I closed my eyes and tried to go to sleep.

"Hey Em." Dean called out to me.

"hmm?" I replied without bothering to sit up, I really was exhausted.

"You okay? You've been giving me the cold shoulder for a couple of day's now. You're not still pissed are you?"

"Nahh. Just tired." Oh and crushed. I am absolutely crushed at the thought that you think I'm weak.

"Emily…" Oh great. I knew that tone. Dammit. I shouldn't have left the boys alone. I knew Sam would open his big ass mouth. Damn him.

"He was lying kiddo."

"Okay Dean."

"Do you believe me?" he asked sincerely.

Not really. "Yeah."

I heard Dean stand and begin to walk towards me. I kept my eyes closed. I knew if I opened them he'd read right into my head. He always does.

"Emily come on." I stayed silent and felt the bed move next to me. Dean sat down and started to stroke the damp hair by my ear.

"You can't honestly think I don't want you." I stayed silent but could feel the tears well up behind my eyelids. The last thing I wanna do is cry in front of Dean. Making his opinion of me being a weak whiny baby true.

"Emily. I don't know what all that asshole said but Sam told me enough of it for me to know that you should know he was lying! Kiddo look at me, please." I opened my eyes finally, a small tear fell out. Dean reached down and caught it. This only made more wanna fall. I bit down on lip trying to stop it from quivering.

"Kiddo." Dean said so low it was almost a whisper. I finally leaned up and put my back against the headboard. Sitting so Dean was directly in front of me. I pulled a hand through my hair and tried to collect myself some before looking up at him. Im not sure it did much good, when I did look up I could see his face fall. I must look rough, I can still feel tears fallings slowly. One at a time.

"He knew Sam left me… He knew Dad left me… He knew that I was coming to the conclusion that dad doesn't want me around anymore. That I was just a burden. That he just dumped me on you…. " My breathing hitched and I looked away from Dean and slightly shook my head.

I kept my gaze on the corner of the room.. not able to look at Dean as I spoke the next part. Afraid that I would see his face and know it was all true.

"…Then he told me that you think I'm a slut. That you got stuck with me and only keep my around to please dad. That you didn't want me either…" I couldn't help it anymore. I had to stop to take in a sharp breath. "He said you think I'm weak, you're sick dealing with my issues and having to baby me…"

Saying that last part out loud just reminded me why I need to suck it up. Dean had a hand on my shoulder as I talked, but now I felt the need to shrug it off.

"Emily Anne you look at me right now." But I just couldn't.

"Emily!" He said harshly… great. He's mad. He's mad the shifter busted his secret and now here I am crying about it. I wish I hadn't said anything at all.

He grabbed my face and turned it towards his. His expression went from angry, to confused, and landed on what looked like hurt.

"How could you believe any of that?" He searched my face for something that said I doubted the shifter but all I could do was cry. Dean scooted closer and wrapped his arms around me. He was silent and just let me cry into his shoulder. He would occasionally kiss my head on my hairline and rub his thumb on my arm. I wanted to believe he really loves me, and I think I do. But I can't stop replaying those words. Over and over and over again. It was Dean's mouth. Dean's voice. Dean's mind.

We stayed like that for a good 5-10 minutes. Before I finally started to stop.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"For what kiddo?"

"For falling apart on you… not just tonight. But all the time. I'm sorry you had to be the one to fix it. That I couldn't do it myself. You've always just put me back together, I never thought about how much of a hassle it is for you."

"Its not a hassle. Emily shit happened. Okay. We both know it, and sometimes when shit happens we just don't come out the same. You're sill my Emily, you just need a little more help sometimes."

"But that doesn't mean you should have to baby me Dean."

"I don't! Emily you can't control it. I know that. Its not your fault. None of it ever was."

I looked down at my hands.

"I just wanna go to sleep De."

"Okay… but first you have to promise me you'll forget everything that asshole said to you."

"I can't De. I just… it was you saying it. I mean it wasn't but it was. You looked into my eyes and said the words like it was nothing."

"Em it wasn't me." He pleaded.

"Can I just promise to try… that's all I can promise you for now." I was honest with him.

"Yeah. Yeah that's good enough for now. Get some rest. I'll come to bed later."

Sleep came quickly, I really was exhausted and mine and Dean's stupid chick flick moment just took everything I had left energy wise. It had been a long time since I really cried like that. I forgot how drained you feel afterwards.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's note: I'm gonna experiment with different POV for this one. Hope its okay! This is also going to be my first Original Chapter! I wanted to do a chapter with no hunts involved, see what the Winchesters are like in a normal day to day environment.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

(Dean's POV)

"Dean.. we gotta do something about this. She's gonna get herself killed." Sam said to me quietly from the passenger seat. I glanced back in the mirror, she's asleep thankfully.

Its been a week since we left St. Louis. I finally convinced Emily that creepy son of a bitch was lying to her, well, for the most part. She's still struggling with Dad being gone, but more than that it's like she's spent the last week trying to prove how tough she is. Whatever that thing said really shook her up. She's afraid I think she's weak, but God if she only knew… That girl is something. After what she went through, it blows me away that she gets up and keeps on fighting these things every day. I think she's strong. Stronger than what anyone gives her credit for.

"Yeah yeah. I know man."

"You gotta talk to her, she can't be going off half-cocked on her own!"

"Yes Sammy. I understand that." God he's annoying sometimes.

"Well then what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know! Just get off my ass about it for a minute!"

The yelling woke up Em. She stirred in the backseat. Sitting up she kept one hand on her shoulder. She damn near got her ass sliced and diced yesterday. I had to put in stitches.

"How's the shoulder kiddo?"

She winced when she leaned back on the seat but quickly caught her face and proceeded to lie to me, again. "Doesn't hurt a bit. Where are we headed now?"

Somewhere you can't get your stubborn ass killed, "Well me and Sammy were just saying how we thought it'd be nice to take a day or so off."

(Emily's POV)

"Dean we can't take a day off! We gotta find Dad, plus didn't Sammy have a lead on a case this morning?" What is he crazy? We can't take time off right now.

"Yeah but its not gonna go anywhere Em. Come on. I'll even take you shopping!" Sam pleaded.

"Seriously." I looked at him trying to call him out on his bullshit.

"Your clothes are getting a little small there kiddo, I'm tired of watching you almost fall out of your shirt." Dean added.

"My clothes fit fine thank you very much, but if you insist it would be nice to have something without blood stains somewhere on it." I don't know what these two are playing but this is probably the only time they'll offer me a shopping trip. I was gonna eat this shit up for as long as I possibly could.

We drove for another hour or so before we stopped at what seemed to be a pretty big mall. I'm not super familiar so they're all pretty big to me. I wasn't exactly thrilled to have my brother's on my ass the whole time we're here but I am always down for spending some cash.

"So are either of you going to get anything?"

"Well Sammy here hasn't stopped talking about finding that perfect dress!" Dean grinned widely.

Sam just rolled his eyes.

"Depends Em, but I'd like to stop by a book store if they have one."

"Of course you do, I love you brainiac." I smiled at him while he swung his arm around me and we walked through the large glass doors at the front of the building.

"Where to first?" Dean asked.

"Well I assumed you would spend your time in the food court De." I pointed to the array of restaurants on the level just below us.

Dean's eyes lit up at all the choices. He grinned at me and Sam before riding down on the escalator.

Sam and me just laughed, "alright come on where we headed?" he asked me.

"Jeans. I need some jeans. All mine have blood stains."

We started walking towards a store that had a lot of expensive new clothes and a wall FULL of jeans of all different kinds.

"You know you might not destroy your clothes if you did what you were told and stayed behind me." Sam suggested.

"Well staying behind doesn't get the job done now does it Sammy?"

"Emily that was stupid. Look at your shoulder. I get you're trying to prove something here but be smart about it!"

"I don't have to prove shit to no one!" I spat at him. Although it was a lie.

"Yeah okay, what size do you need?"

"I don't know, 8 or so. Its been a while since I bought jeans."

I started to walk up to the wall, my attention was immediately drawn to a few pairs at the end, they were dark wash, fading into the middle, boot cut, and had beautiful rhinestone designs on the back pockets. Oh yes.

I reached for a pair that I thought might fit and held them up against me, turning them again to examine the detail on the back pocket.

"Dean would kill me if I let you get those."

"Why?! Come on Sammy they're so pretty!"

"I don't think you need to bring anymore attention to your ass then you already do."

I rolled my eyes. "Please! Its not my fault the Winchester's have good genes!"

"No. here try these." Sam handed me a pair that had no rhinestones on the backside. I looked up to him with puppy dog eyes. Tearing a page right out of his book.

"But Sammy… those aren't sparkly. Every girl needs some sparkly in her life." I pleaded letting a fake tear make its way to the edge of my eye.

Sam huffed and crossed his arms. "One pair! Then you get some that don't flaunt your ass. I swear to God if you ever wear those around anyone but me and Dean I'll burn them myself!"

I smiled wide and hugged him. "Thanks Sammy!"

I ran to the dressing room with that pair and two more than Sam had actually found. I was impressed. Living with Jess must have given him some style insight. I put on the sparkly pair and turned. He was right. These do draw all the attention to my ass. I better keep them hidden from Dean. These would be great for wearing on stage though.

I tried on the first pair Sam picked out, too big. What is he trying to call me fat or something?

"Hey! Gigantor." I called from inside the changing room, "Get me a size smaller. You trying to call me fat?!" He laughed and I heard him walk away and then walk back a few minutes later. I put them on, perfect fit.

I walked out and twirled around, "So, what do you think?"

"They look good, what about your sparkly ones?" he asked with one eyebrow raised.

"I didn't figure you wanted to see those but we are definitely getting them." He rolled his eyes.

I caught a girl close to Sam's age eyeballing him from the other side of the store. Her eyes went up then down, pausing on his ass. Gross.

"Hey Sam why don't you get some yourself. Apparently those flaunt your ass." I said with a grin.

He looked at me confused and I gestured to the girl eye fucking my brother.

He turned and caught her glare, she winked at him. He gave a small grin and turned back to me.

"Yeah okay, you done now?"

I laughed, "Yeah. I wanna wear these out, see if they can just ring up the tag." I pulled It off and handed it to him with my other new jeans. I held my old pair in my hands.

We got to the register and I almost choked when I saw the total, $400 bucks on 3 pairs of jeans! Damn. Good thing we never have to pay on the bill for these credit cards. They handed me the bag and I put my old pair in with the new ones.

We left and walked down to a store that apparently was having a sale on a lot of their shirts. I walked in and found that I actually liked a lot of them, which surprised me.

"Hey Em I'm gonna step to the bookstore next door, if you have any issues you know to come get me right?"

"Yes Sammy boy, here, take my bag with you, I have a feeling I'm gonna need both arms." I winked at him and gave him the bag with my jeans in it. He stopped and handed me the credit card before walking out. Big mistake on his part.

I went straight for the V-necks. Short sleeve, long sleeve, I got one of each in black, gray, sage, red, and a pretty dark blue that wasn't quite navy but close. Then I walked over and saw some cute button ups to put over them. I found one that had some beautiful designs on the pocket, it was black. Black matches almost everything so I grabbed it. Next I stopped at a rack of old band T-shirts. They were in the guys section but who cares. I grabbed a Lynrd Skynrd, Pink Floyd, and a Rolling stones shirt for me, and since I'm such a good baby sister I got a few for Dean too. He got Metallica, ACDC, and of course Led Zepplin. Next I went over and found men's button ups. They were buy one get one free, I got a few for both Sam and Dean. Lord knows if I don't buy them some new clothes they won't get any. I went and got them plain colored henleys to go underneath, and even got a few for myself. I love henleys. I found a thick band leather bracelet, it was pretty. Tied together by a thin piece of rope. I slipped it on, I loved it.

Since I couldn't carry anything more I walked over to the register and laid down the mountain of shirts. It only cost a couple hundred bucks for all of them. Crazy to think 3 pairs of Jeans cost almost double that. As I walked towards the bookstore the shop next to it caught my eye.

In the window was this beautiful little black dress. It was a sweetheart neckline and had this lace skirt that went down almost to the knee. The skirt had a little poof, but not like a pageant dress poof. As I looked at it all I could imagine was wearing it on stage, with my black cowgirl boots. It would be perfect.

(Sam's POV)

It was nice to be somewhere normal, doing something normal again. The last time I went to a mall was with Jess. It was fun actually, watching her try on outfits and seeing her face light up as she found something she really liked. It hurt to think about it, but it also made me happy.

I wanted Emily to have this life, one where she spends weekends at the mall. When I looked at her in that apartment I knew she was different. I knew something wasn't right. I could see it in her eyes. Man. What the hell happened to my baby sister… she used to be innocent and sweet. Now she's tough as nails, but she's hiding things from me. She never hid anything from me.

I walked out and was fixing to head back to the store I left her in when suddenly I saw her at the store on the other side, standing out front, staring into the window with that same look in her eyes Jess used to get when she really wanted something. I walked up behind her and noticed the dress that had her attention. I don't think she's worn a dress since she was a toddler.

It broke my heart to think she'll never get to wear something like that. She doesn't get to go out to dances, or hang out with friends and get dressed up together. But man I could tell she wanted it, bad.

"It'd be beautiful on you Em." She jumped and turned around.

"What?" She asked slightly jumpy, guess I startled her.

"The dress. Do you wanna try it on?"

(Emily's POV)

All I could do was look at him, kinda shocked that he asked that. He looked almost sad.

"Umm. We don't have to, its not like I have anywhere to wear it." Well, not as far as you know anyways.

"Still, you should try it on."

"Umm. Okay."

We walked in and was greeted by a young woman, she was already oogling over Sam.

"Hey can we get that dress in the window over there?" He asked her.

"Sure, what size?" she asked never even turning to look at me.

"Well I'm not sure what size he wear's but I'll take an 8" I said finally getting her to look at me.

She was pretty, but not pretty enough for my brother. She didn't come close to Jess.

I went to hand my new bags to Sam, "Geez Emily what the hell did you buy?"

I guess he hadn't noticed the 2 full bags until now, "Well its not all mine. I got some stuff for you and Dean too ya know." He smiled.

"Thanks Em."

"Okay here you go, would you like a changing room?" The woman walked back to us with the dress in her hands. Oh my gosh it was even prettier in my hands.

"Yes please." Sam said to her. He took a seat on the bench and I shut and locked the door behind me.

I pulled my new jeans and my shirt off and pulled on the dress. My bra straps were showing, so I slid them down my shoulders and tucked them in. I went to zip it up the back but my arms were too short to get it all the way up. Dammit. This is why I need FEMALE friends to go shopping with. I knew it was either ask Sam or ask the lady at the counter, neither of whom did I feel comfortable asking. At least it was Sam and not Dean. Although Dean was the one who was used to my girly shit. When Sam left I was only 11, A LOT has changed with me and my body since then. But unless I wanted the dress hanging off of me I had no choice…

"Hey uh, Sammy.. you there?"

"Yeah why?" he asked me confused.

"I umm.. I can't reach the zipper." I opened the door and stuck my head out, I'm sure he could tell by my face I was uncomfortable asking because he laughed at me and his cheeks went a little red.

"Okay.. Umm. Are you covered up?" He asked trying to make this less awkward.

"Yeah." I opened the door and took a couple steps out towards him, holding the front of the dress with one hand, and holding my hair off my back with the other so It wouldn't get caught in the zipper.

Sam walked up to me and quickly zipped it the rest of the way, I let my hair down and turned to face him, I'm sure my face was red. He just smiled and stepped back. I turned and looked in the mirror.

Oh I want it… I want it so bad.

"Emily.. it looks. Beautiful." Sam said slowly.

"Thanks Sammy."

"So you got a big date coming up hunny?" the lady asked me.

"Oh, no.. I don't. I just. Wanted to try it on I guess.." I turned and looked back in the mirror. Man my boots would really set this thing off.

"Hey Sam would get the zipper for me again?" I asked taking a step back towards the dressing room.

He walked up and slid it down halfway leaving the rest for me to get when I was behind closed doors. I took the dress off, put it on a hanger and got back in my Jeans. Sometimes I wished we had a normal life. I could wear something like this to school dances, or whatever.

When I walked back out Dean had walked in and was standing next to Sam looking like he might puke at any minute. I chuckled.

"Hey De, get enough to eat?" I asked slapping him on the stomach.

"ughh… "He groaned, "So. Much. Food. "

We all laughed and I handed the dress back to the lady behind the counter. I turned and caught Dean eyeing me suspiciously. He knew exactly what I wanted that dress for. I gave him a sad smile and shook my head as if to say no. He just nodded once and we started to walk out.

"Damn kiddo, what all did you buy?!" He asked me as Sam handed him some bags to carry.

"Chill De, its not all mine. I got you some and Sammy some shirts." He smiled and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and we walked and went up to the next level of the mall. When we got off the escalators a store caught my eye. I really needed to go in but didn't need my brother's following me.

"Hey umm. You Boys should go back down and find some new jeans. I know yours are as covered in blood as mine De."

He shook his head, "Nahh, I like my jeans a little worn."

Oh great… "Well umm. Maybe you and Sammy here want some guy time to check out chicks or something? I'll be fine on my own for a while."

He stopped walking and eyed me suspiciously again, "Why are you trying to get rid of us…."

"Well Its just that… I need.. I need to go in… there." I said finally pointing at the lingerie store.

Dean looked up and did a double take while Sam looked away slightly blushing.

"You don't need to go in there! Victoria has enough secrets she doesn't need yours too!"

"De… come on. You were the one bitching about my tits falling out." I said a little too loud.

He looked around to make sure no one heard and then got closer to me and so he could whisper yell, poor Sam just looked down and shook his head.

"Yeah well you can go to another store. You don't need those things from that one… trust me I know what's in there!"

"Dean come on! Its not like I'm going to pick up an outfit to strip in, no one but me is ever gonna see what I buy anyways!"

"Dam right they won't!" He huffed at me before looking up… He noticed some very attractive women walking in. His mood seemed to change.

"You know.. on second thought. I'll take you."

"WHAT? Dean no! I'm not going in there with my brother!"

"Well you're not going in there alone either! You're not buying anything with lace, sparkles, or any other frilly girly shit on it! What ever you buy has to be approved by me."

"Ugh! You are impossible Dean Winchester!"

"I'm gonna go back to the bookstore, you two have fun." Sam added.

"Hey wait! Sammy, I'm going to the shoe store next okay?"

"Okay meet you there."

I turned to walk towards the store and Dean was right on my ass the whole time. As soon as we got through the door I went and took a sharp left behind some racks to ditch him. He didn't even notice. He was preoccupied with the same group of women picking out thongs in the corner. Geez my brothers a perv.

I walked and found the bra section. I was looking at them all, so pretty. But then I realized I'm not even sure what size I need anymore, I was a 36 C, but Dean wasn't lying when he said I've been kinda falling out of my shirts lately. As if she read my mind one of the employees came up behind me.

"Can I help find anything today?"

"Umm, yeah actually. I'm not sure what size to get. I think mine is getting too small."

"Step in over here and I'll measure you." She gestured to a changing room.

Let me tell you. Getting measured is awkward as shit. They measure your chest in like 3 different ways and its all up in your personal space.

"Looks like you're a 36 D."

"Well Dean would love to hear that.." I said quietly and full of sarcasm.

"I'm sorry?" she asked, guess I wasn't that quiet.

"Oh nothing, Thank you for your help."

She nodded and left me, I walked back out and went to find a few good bras.

I found a wall full of beautiful colorful lace bras, I pulled down three of them, and then grabbed a plain white one that had a tag that said "push up" on it. I put the white one on top of the others just before Dean walked up behind me.

"Hey."

"Hey, you done perving around in here or what?"

"Ill have you know I assisted those lovely women with finding what would please their men most."

I rolled my eyes. He looked down in my bag and saw the plain white bra on top, he quickly looked away. Ha! It worked.

"You almost done in here or what?"

"Almost. I need some underwear," I smiled real big, "You wanna help me find a pair that'll really drive a man wild?" I asked with a seductive swing to my voice.

"Hell no!" He whisper yelled trying not to draw attention.

"The only underwear you get better have hello kitty stamped on the ass!"

"Look Dean unless you wanna watch your sister pick out underwear I suggest you go for another little walk." He huffed and walked away.

I walked over to a room full of panties. I carefully took my time going through all of the bins and drawers full of bright colors, lace, glitter. Everything Dean told me to avoid. I giggled to myself and picked out a handful of them, including some black lace thongs to match the black lace bra I had hiding in my bag. Dean would shit a brick right now.

I walked over to the checkout line and realized that Dean had the credit card. Shit!

I pulled out my phone.

"Hey De, I need the card."

"Okay I'm headed to you."

I quickly hung up and turned to the cashier.

"Hey this is gonna sound nutso but my big brother is paying for all this and if he see's what I picked out he's gonna have a heart attack and drag me out of here, is there any way you can scan that shit at the speed of lightning?!"

She busted out laughing. "Oh hunny, I have 3 older brothers… I get it." She slid all the stuff under a bag and scanned one item at a time quickly as possible. This way when Dean walked up he wouldn't see the pile of "frilly girl shit."

She was just scanning the lace thong and putting it in the bag when Dean walked up.

"Took you long enough." I said taking him off guard.

He handed the card to the cashier with a smile, she winked at me, and made sure to fill the bag with extra paper at the top so no one could see what was inside of it.

We went to the shoe store where I grabbed 2 more pairs of converse, a pair of good boots for hunts, and Dean and Sam got a pair too.

We left the mall after making a pit stop in the food court, amazingly enough Dean was able to stuff himself for a second time. We drove to a motel outside of town and I grabbed all of our duffels out of the trunk.

When we were inside I set the shopping bags down on one bed and the duffels on another. Sam went outside to grab something from the car, when he came back in I was speechless.

"Sam…" I looked up in awe. "You didn't have to do this."

He was holding the little black dress I loved.

"Sure I did, I could tell you really wanted it."

My heart swelled, sometimes having brothers wasn't so bad.

I ran up and wrapped him in a hug. I hung the dress on the back of the headboard and went back to sorting out clothes.

Two hours later I finished emptying all of the torn, stained, old clothes from our bags and filled them with the new ones. Dean was super excited about his band shirts and him and Sam both thanked me for stocking them up. I knew my brothers' taste in clothing was simple.

I had shoved all my new lingerie and stuff in a black bag from the store with all the shirts and then inside of the duffel bag so it wouldn't catch any attention.

I looked up at the dress and held it in my hands… then I turned to look at Dean.

"I already checked, theres one two towns over that starts at 9." He read my mind.

I shook my head up and down. Sammy did this for me, and I felt like I was ready to show him what I really wanted this dress for.

I jumped in the shower and started to get ready, leaving the dress in a bag till we got to the place, I didn't wanna risk it snagging on anything. I came out in Jeans and one of my new band shirts, I was so excited! Things were finally back to being good with both of my brothers!

But when I opened the door I saw dean standing by the duffel bags, in his left hand was the black bag, in his right hand… the black thong that still had tags on it. SHIT.

"Emily Anne Winchester…." He said so calmly and quietly it was even scarier than if he had yelled.

"What. The. Fuck. Is this doing in your bag?"

I stood frozen, but that didn't last long before the realization hit that this guy went through my shit!

"You first Dean why the hell are you going through my bags?!"

"I didn't! I thought this shit was mine! Its not like I picked up the pink bag! I thought this bag had my shirts in it!"

"Well it doesn't so can you put my underwear down now?"

"Oh, no.. this isn't yours. You're not keeping it. ANY of it!"

"Oh come on one of ems plain!" I tried to argue.. "I sorta kinda listened."

I looked down at my feet. I knew he would find out eventually but I figured It'd be way down the road.

"Dude I told you not to get any of this shit! You don't need it! This is the kinda shit you buy to show off to boys! You planning on showing off to some boys tonight? Huh? Did you play me? Is this why you wanna go so bad?"

"No De! Please. I wanna go tonight... I swear. I got them with the intentions of it being mine and Victoria's dirty little secret!"

He sighed and threw the bag back down on the bed. "Hurry up or we're gonna be late…"

Sam was standing by the door just watching the scene go down, "Wait, neither of you have even told me where we're going."

Dean looked at me and knew how important this was for me, If Sam was gonna find out then I wanted it to be a good night. He slowly shook his head and dropped the fight.

"Come on kiddo, time to let Sam in on your other dirty little secret." I laughed and Sam was super confused.

It took us an hour to get there and when we did I split from the boys and went around to the back, but not before Dean gave me the usual pep talk and warned me to "act like a lady" He didn't want a repeat of the first time he found out.

I got my spot in the completion, this time it was a smaller cash prize, but still cash so I was excited. The manager pointed me around back and I left to get ready, I was going to be 3rd out of 8 and this was a one song only show. The manager came around not long after and asked what song I needed to have the band ready to play, he gave me a list of songs they knew, all country. That's fine, I know my way around country, finally I landed on good ole Miranda Lambert, I know all her songs. I pointed to a song and he smiled and walked off.

(Dean's POV)

"Dean what the hell are we doing here what is going on?" It was kinda funny to watch Sammy squirm, he was clueless.

"Patience brother, its not my place to tell." I said while handing him a beer.

"Emily doesn't need to be alone in here Dean." He said looking around at the bar full of people.

"She's fine. I promise. She knows what to do if someone is messing with her. We have a system."

"A system for what?" Sam said getting impatient.

If he wasn't so busy bugging me he would have noticed the guy on stage introducing the first girl in the competition, it wasn't Emily. She was a pretty blonde. Wearing something I would love to tear off of her later. She was hott.

"Just chill and drink your beer Sammy."

He rolled his eyes and took a drink, I smiled at him. She's gonna blow his mind.

They were always closer when we were younger but I don't think she told Sammy anything about this, she kept it to herself for as long as she could.

The first girl finished and the second came out on stage, still not Em. Sammy is still oblivious to why we're here. He's just drinking a beer and watching. I can't help but wonder what it was like to have a normal life for so long. Not that I would ever admit it, but I'm kinda jealous he got to find out. He has balls, he walked away from Dad. Something I just wasn't able to do, not that I really wanted to. I fit into this life better than maybe I should. I was made for this.

The second girl left the stage and suddenly I see Em step up to the mic. Man, Sam wasn't lying. That dress is beautiful, I wish it had a little more on the top, but it wasn't revealing by any means. She looks so grown up. She looks like mom. Beautiful.

I looked to Sam, he still hasn't noticed that its Emily up there. He's just looking around.

She started singing… his head flew around and he looked to her and subconsciously stood up out of his chair and took a few steps forward. He turned to look back at me shocked. I smiled and got up to stand next to him.

"Yeah.. she's something ain't she."

He just stared in awe as she kept going, she had the crowd's attention.

"I didn't even know she could sing dude."

"Yeah me neither for a long time…" I thought back to the first time I caught her. I knew she was sneaking out to do something. But I had no idea, instead of confronting her I thought it'd be better to follow her and bust her.

Sam's face looks like mine did at first… until I heard the men around me talk about her. Then it got angry fast. The moment she realized I was there I could see her face change. She was freaking out.

Now look at her, Sam's eyes are glued to that stage. She looks up and around for him, smiling when their eyes meet.

(Emily's POV)

" _You cost more than… He wanted to .. lose"_

" _And with this ring.. I said I do..ooo.."_

" _Promised to never do what I've done… I've lied to someone… Dear Diamond."_

I caught Sam's stare, he was shocked. His face was much calmer than Dean's was the first time. Ofcourse this time I wasn't flirting with the whole bar either, I figured a power ballad was a better choice.

It feels right, having them here to support me. Telling Sammy about all this, well showing him anyways. The less I hide from him the better.

The song finished and I felt that high again… the one that took me out of my life full of drama and monsters. It took me to some place amazing. I left the stage and instead of sitting around in the back alone I decided I'd rather sit out in the crowd with my brothers and scope out the rest of the competition.

I broke my way past the front set of tables and walked up behind De, Sammy caught me and I held a finger to my lips… I crept closer and closer.. almost to him. I'm gonna get his ass finally.

"Nice try Kiddo." Dammit.

"Only cause Sammy's goofy ass grin gave it away." I smiled as I sit down between them at the table.

I looked to Dean, he had some look on his face… I couldn't place it. He caught me watching and gave a small smile before looking back down to his beer. I found this odd and turned to Sam, he was looking at me as if he was waiting for me to say something…

"What?" I asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Emily how come you never said anything?" Sam asked.

"Well… the first time it happened was after you left." He looked guilty…

"Its okay Sam. I didn't tell Dean either, or Dad."

"So how did Dean find out?" He asked curiously.

"Oh lets just not go the-" I tried to stop what was coming.

"Well she tried sneaking out, she was a bad liar, so I followed her and found her on stage in leather pants and a crop top practically dancing for the men at the front of the bar."

"Oh please you did not! I was just singing, I never touched one guy!"

"Oh and the song was basically begging to get laid."

"WHAT?" Sam looked shocked. "Leather pants Em, seriously?!"

He shook his head and I just sighed and looked down.

"So does Dad know?"

"Yeah, I came home with some cash after winning one in Wisconsin and he wanted to know where it came from. I told him I won a karaoke contest, but he's never come to watch."

"Well he should, Emily you looked beautiful up there." I blushed.

"Yeah I know, sitting down here with you losers hurts my appearances." I chuckled at the look they both gave me.

"So how many are there tonight?" Dean asked.

"Only 8 and only one song a piece so we're halfway done, shouldn't be another hour."

An hour later we were on the road, no cash in hand unfortunately. Some hott blonde who showed too much boob got me this time. But honestly I didn't mind, tonight wasn't about the cash. We went back to the motel and I took off and carefully placed the dress back in its plastic wrapping before carefully placing it in the trunk, I didn't want it wrinkling in my duffel. I cleaned all the make up off my face and pulled my hair into a messy bun. I walked out and Sam was already asleep, so I climbed in Dean's bed and slid under both the sheet and blanket while he had just the blanket, our usual arrangement.

He flicked off the light and I curled up against his body heat.

"Hey Em."

"Yeah De?"

"You did good tonight… Mom would be proud of you. You really reminded me of her tonight."

"Really?" I was surprised.

"Yeah. Did I ever tell you mom used to sing to me?"

I turned and looked at him, he never talks about Mom, its his soft spot and he rarely shows it.

"No… you didn't."

"Anytime I was sick, or upset… she would sing Hey Jude." He sadly smiled at the memory.

"That's where you get it… Cause God knows the men in the family can't carry a tune to save their lives." He slightly chuckled.

"Thanks De, she'd be proud of you too ya know. You've done everything for us." He gave pulled his arm around me. I fell asleep to the rise and fall of his chest, his heart beating into my ear. He does this sometimes when I get really worked up. Just lays me against his chest, so I can tune out everything else. When I'm here I know that I'm safe.

The next morning I was up before both the boys, which never happens. I got up and pulled out the case Sammy was looking into, it wasn't more than 20 minutes before Dean woke up and walked over to the table.

"Well, yesterday was nice and all. But we still got work to do De." I laid the papers in front of him.


	7. Author's Note

Hey guys I wanted to post this to say a special thank you to those who have reviewed and given back such amazing encouragement to me. (Mayrem and snn7b) I don't know why I didn't see the reviews sooner but this is the first time I've seen them and I am humbled and touched by your words. I was really worried I was pulling the story too far in the wrong direction. Thank you so much for your kind words. Thank you all for the Reviews, Follows, Favorites. It means a lot to me and I hope I can keep you guys happy!


	8. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Thanks again for all the love! Can't wait to bring you guys more and get more reviews! They make my heart happy

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

I could hear Sammy at the payphone, you know that Winchester loud mouth problem? He just won't take no for an answer… Dad doesn't wanna be found. I know it.

His coffee sat in front of me getting colder by the minute… I looked to Dean with a shit eating grin on my face. He caught it and shook his head, "Don't piss him off."

"Shhh…. You didn't see a thing."

I pulled off the top to his lid and grabbed salt packets off the table. I poured in 5 or 6 of them and replaced the lid. Theres so much cream and sugar in this thing I'm not even sure he'll notice.

I got the lid back on just in time, he sat down and didn't even look at it. Come on now Sammy, drink it!

"Your, uh, half-caf, double vanilla latte is gettin' cold over here, Francis." I smirked at Dean when he said it.

"Bite Me." Sam said.. Dammit boy drink this coffee!

"So, they say anything new?"

"I had 'em check the FBI's Missing Persons Data Bank. No John Doe's fitting Dad's description. I even ran his plates for traffic violations."

"Sam, I'm tellin' ya, I don't think Dad wants to be found." I added in.

"So about this case you found Sammy- Ankeny, Iowa is only about 100 miles away, we can be there in a couple of hours."

I just kept watching Sam. Come on… drink the coffee! Do it!

"The mutilated body was found near the victim's car, parked on 9 Mile Road. Authorities are unable to provide a realistic description of the killer. The sole eyewitness, whose name has been withheld, is quoted as saying the attacker was invisible." Sam turned to me as if I didn't read the file already.

"Yeah I read it."

"Could be something interesting." Dean tried to get Sam back on track and off of Dad. I wanted to find Dad too. But he wasn't tossing us any bones right now.

"Dad would check it out." I added.

"Yeah, alright lets head out." Sam said before picking up his coffee cup, OH here it comes, but then to my surprise he tossed it in the trash!

Dean laughed at my expression and pushed me towards the car.

When we got to Ankeny we went straight to the frat house the vic lived in, I was thrilled. Unfortunately Dean caught on quickly, "Okay Em, here's the deal. You're gonna go to library and wait for us there. Its about 2 miles from here, get to walking Kiddo!"

"Seriously Dean?"

"Umm yeah, incase you didn't realize, this is a frat house, and you're not going anywhere near it."

"Sam? Are you seriously going to let him send me off?!"

"Look Em I'm with Dean on this one, I've been in frat houses, and there's no way in hell I'm letting my baby sister walk into one."

"You two are ridiculous!" I pulled my gun out of my back waist band and checked to make sure it was loaded and ready before jumping out of the car and walking towards the library. It didn't take me long, it wasn't far. I walked in and smiled, it was then I realized I was at college, without Sam and Dean, and the library was co-ed territory.

I wondered around looking for a good place to sit, I found a table that was empty and some a good view of some eye candy across the way.

I grabbed a random book and pretended to flip through it, throwing glances at the pretty boy who was now eyeing me.

He got up and walked over, I didn't acknowledge him till he sat down in front of me.

"Can I help you?"

"I don't think we've met, I'm Jake."

"Emily, and no, we haven't. I'm a new transfer student from Ohio."

"Well then Emily, let me be the first to welcome you." He said extending his hand.

I giggled and shook it, he seemed impressed by my grip. I closed the book and leaned forward, guess I should work the job we came here for.

"So uhh, Jake. Is it true?"

"What's that?"

"Some guy just got killed? Didn't he go here?"

"Yeah, Rich. He was my frat brother." Oh great he's a frat boy.

"What happened to him? I heard he was with some girl. She get killed to?" I already knew the answer but I figured it was a good way to get more info.

"Yeah he was with Lori Sorensen, the Rev's daughter," he chuckled, "she made it out without a scratch, said it was something invisible, strung him up and hung him upside down over the car, all cut up. I don't think the cops are buying it. Personally I don't think Lori would have the upper body strength to pull that off. My money's on some homeless man who took some PCP or something."

"Wow, that's crazy… so what do the cops say?"

"They think its some psycho drifter that was passing through, no one around here is capable of something like that."

I noticed my phone vibrate, Dean said they were going to make a pit stop at a church and then head my way, guess they found out about Lori as well.

"Boyfriend?" Jake asked as he watched me read the text.

"Nope, no boyfriend."

"Really? Well then since I wouldn't be offending anyone I'd love to have you swing by this party we got going on tomorrow night. It's gonna be a good time, and you would make it even better." I blushed and looked down.

"Uh, Yeah, okay sounds good."

"Great, I'll see you there." He winked and walked away.

Okay well now that I have some basic information I can start digging into this thing while I wait for the boys. Something about the way that kid died sounded so familiar, so I typed it into google. The first link to pop up was a ghost stories and legends website… wait. No. Fucking. Way. HOOK MAN? Oh I so wanna gank hook man! Dude's literally a legend!

I texted Sammy and told them to get their asses to the library. When they got there I explained my theory, turns out Sam was on the same page after listening to Lori say what happened.

"She heard scratching on the roof. Found the bloody body suspended upside down over the car." He explained.

"That's one of the most famous urban legends ever. You two don't actually think that we're dealing with THE Hook Man." Dean of course wasn't convinced.

"Every urban legend has a source. A place where it all began."

"Yeah, but what about the phantom scratches and the tire punctures and the invisible killer?"

"Well, maybe the Hook Man isn't a man at all. What if it's some kind of spirit?" I tossed in, I REALLY wanted to gank hook man.

"Here you go. Arrest records going back to 1851." The Librarian set down two boxes covered in dust in front of us.

"So, this is how you spent four good years of your life, huh?"

"Welcome to higher education.

4 hours later we finally found something.

"Hey, check this out. 1862. A preacher named Jacob Karns was arrested for murder. Looks like he was so angry over the red light district in town that one night he killed 13 prostitutes. Uh, right here, some of the deceased were found in their bed, sheets soaked with blood. Others suspended upside down from the limbs of trees as a warning against sins of the flesh."

"Get this, the murder weapon? Looks like the preacher lost his hand in an accident. Had it replaced with a silver hook." I told them after reading over the material for myself.

"Look where all this happened." Sam said with a grin.

"9 Mile Road… I'll be damned."

"Same place where the frat boy was killed."

This was my chance, it was now or never.

"Sooo, before we head out I was thinking. Maybe we need to keep a closer eye on Lori. Like… an undercover type thing. I could easily join the sorority."

"No." Dean said without even considering it.

"Come on De! I can do this! Its no big deal. I'm just gonna have some pretend pillow fights and crash in someones room for a few nights so I can keep an eye on her."

"No. You're too young to be alone on a hunt. End of discussion."

"NO! This is not over… Sam. What do you think?"

Sam looked like he didn't really wanna say what he was thinking.

"I don't know Dean. It could be a good idea, Lori could be in danger."

Dean huffed and turned on Sam for agreeing with me.

"No! Now listen, I am the oldest, I make the decisions here!"

"Dammit Dean stop be so fucking stubborn! You're hurting the job here! This is a good idea and you know it!" I yelled. He just glared.

I took a deep breath and walked closer to him.

"De. I promise you. I can handle it. We need a man on the inside. Let me do it."

"You swear to me this isn't just you trying to prove you're a hard ass?" He asked me with narrowed eyes.

"No. Its to protect Lori." Well, and to prove to you I'm not a baby.

"Fine… I don't like it but fine. You better text me every hour ON THE HOUR."

"Thanks De, where are you two gonna go?"

"To check out 9 mile rd."

The boys dropped me at the sorority house and I fed them the same line I did to the guy at the library. It was so easy to lie to these people, they were gullible as shit. I managed to get a room right next to Lori's, and after setting down my bag I went to find where she and the majority of the girls had gone off to. I found them sitting in the living room passing around a bottle of tequila, luckily the seat next to Lori was open.

"Do you mind?" I asked her shyly.

"No not at all! I'm Lori!"

"Emily. I think you met my brother's earlier, Sam and Dean. We all just transferred in from Ohio."

"Yes! They came to church." Whoa. Those two acutally went to a church service? And I missed it?!

"Yeah.. they forgot to wake me up this morning."

She laughed and we both joined back in on our game of truth or dare tequila style. I knew I shouldn't drink on the job but I needed to fit in. I had been texting Dean once an hour like asked but he hadn't responded.

Eventually I got a phone call from an unknown number.

"hey I'll be right back" I said before stumbling up and into the other room, shit. I didn't realize how drunk you get and how fast.

"Hello?" I slightly slurred.

"Em?"

"Dean? What phone are you calling me from?"

"Umm.. the one in the Jail."

"What? You're in Jail?" I giggled. Uh oh.

"Yeah, I'm working on getting me and Sammy out…. Emily are you okay?"

"Oh yess yes! I'm super Dean! Great!" Shit. Too much excitement.

"Emily Anne…. Are you drinking?"

"Say whaaaa? Noo. Come on big bro. I'm on the job!"

"Oh I am SO kicking your ass when I get out of here." Then the phone hung up. Oops.

I went to bed that night still tipsy, but not enough to not be unaware of my surroundings. I was listening. Watching. Keeping an ear against Lori's wall. Before I knew it I was falling asleep, It was so quiet and warm.

I woke up to a scream… Oh no. I jumped out of bed and ran into Lori's room. I found her cowered in the floor sobbing and her roommate covered in blood, with a terrifying message written on the wall. I screamed for someone to call 911 while I pulled out my phone and sent the message to both brothers:

"Death at sorority. Lori is okay. Its bad. Get here fast."

No reply, Dammit they must still be in jail… I took Lori outside and had to give my statement to the cops. An hour later I finally hear the rumble of the impala pulling up. I jogged out to the edge of the road and met eyes with Dean. He was still pissed. I signaled for him to meet me around the back of the building.

When I walked up to the impala both Dean and Sam got out.

"Emily what were you thinking?! That could have been you!"

"No Dean.. it couldn't. I was watching. I'm telling you. Whatever this thing was made no sound, was silent. I didn't even hear it carving into the wall and I fell asleep with an ear against it."

"You sure you weren't passed out drunk?!" Sam added. He was apparently pissed too. Great.

"No! Dammit listen! I had to blend in, everyone was drinking I was tipsy but sobered up by the time we went to bed. I promise you! Both of you!"

Dean shook his head and ran his hand through his hair and over his face. Thinking.

"Can you get us in."

"Yeah. The house isn't closed off, If you live here you're still allowed in. I'll go in the front and open the back patio door for you, its right through those bushes."

We split ways and I went around and let the boys in. We snuck into Lori's room where luckily the cops had just left.

"Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the light?" Sam read the words carved into the wall.

"Right out of the legend" Dean said.

"Hey, guys what about that symbol?"

"I think I've seen it before…come on."

Sam led us out the door and to the library, where he had made the connection of the symbol to hook man's spirit. So now we know what it is, we can kill it.

"There's a party tonight at the frat house. Lori might be there, even if she's not there's going to be a lot of vulnerable people."

"And how do you know that?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"I was invited smartass. I can get you two in."

That night we pulled up to the party and I couldn't wait to split from my brothers. I kinda wouldn't mind running into Jake again either. But I had to find Lori first.

"Man, you've been holding out on me. This college thing is awesome!" Dean looked around at the variety of women.

"This wasn't really my experience."

"Let me guess… Libraries, studying, straight A's? Man what a geek. Alright, you do your homework?"

"Yeah. It was bugging me, right? So how is the Hook Man tied up with Lori? So I think I came up with something."

He shoved a paper in front of us and Dean read right off of it.

"1932. Clergyman arrested for murder. 1967. Seminarian held in hippie rampage."

"There's a pattern here. In both cases, the suspect was a man of religion who openly preached against immorality. And then found himself wanted for killings he claimed were the work of an invisible force. Killings carried out—get this—with a sharp instrument."

"What's the connection to Lori?" I asked.

"A man of religion? Who openly preaches against immorality? Except maybe this time, instead of saving the whole town, he's just trying to save his only daughter."

"Reverend Sorensen. You think he's summoning the spirit?" Dean made the connection.

"Maybe. Or, you know how a poltergeist can haunt a person instead of a place?"

"Yeah, the spirit latches onto the reverend's repressed emotions, feeds off them, yeah, okay."

"Without the reverend ever even knowing it."

"Well either way boys someone should have an eye on Lori tonight, I don't see her here but it doesn't mean she won't show up. We should split. Dean go find the grave, you're better at digging than me and I have the feeling Sammy boy here is going straight for Lori's house."

"No way in hell am I leaving you here at a frat party by yourself."

"Come on Dean we've already had this discussion. Your letting your pig headed stubbornness get in the way of me being able to help do the job! I'm sick of it!"

"Too bad! We left you alone last night and you got drunk and let some poor girl get killed!"

What?... seriously. How could he say that to me. He knows I already felt bad about it. Now he's REALLY set me off…

"Fuck you Dean. That would have happened regardless. And you know it!"

"Stop! Emily you can stay, Dean just go dig the damn grave so we can come back and get her." Sam interjected, I was shocked but happy he agreed with me.

"So what now you're okay with leaving her in the frat house?! Huh Sam?!" Dean turned to him and yelled.

"DEAN! Dammit! Just go! I swear on baby that I won't drink anything in the house! Even the water! I'm not gonna get any better at this job if you don't let me have a little room on the leash!" I was pleading with him by the end of my sentence.

He stared at me for a few minutes before lowering his head. "Okay. Whoever finds Lori, text and let the other one know. You stay put till I come back to get you, or Sam."

"Emily… don't be stupid. Be serious. Anyone drunk ass frat boy comes within two feet of you and you pull that damn gun."

"Sir yes sir" I said with a smirk.

They left, I began to wonder around and look for Lori, but I only found Jake and a bunch of the sorority girls.

"Hey." He said walking up to me.

"Hey, nice party."

"Yeah, can I get you something to drink?"

"Umm no, actually I think I had enough tequila last night to hold me over." I smiled and he laughed.

"Okay, fair enough."

He must have caught me looking around, "Looking for someone specific?"

"Umm Yeah, Lori actually. Turns out she's in my sorority. Just wanted to make sure she was okay with everything that happened…"

"Oh she won't show up. Never does."

"Why's that?"

"Just not her scene, she usually picks up the drunk girls at the end of the night."

Like clockwork I felt my phone vibrate, It was a text from Sam. He had eyes on Lori. Said he was gonna watch the house till Dean was done. Well then I guess that leaves me a few hours to party.

"You gonna leave to go find her?" He asked me.

"Nahh, I'll stick around for a while, but I'd love to get out of this room. Its crowded as hell."

"Yeah come on." He grabbed my hand and pulled me outside to sit on the patio where there were a few small groups of people hanging out.

"Better?" He asked.

"Much!" I smiled at him.

We talked for about an hour about nothing much really, but by the time I looked up I noticed that everyone else had gone back inside it was just us. Then I noticed somehow we had gotten closer to each other. I didn't even realize we were moving while talking. Suddenly I got a chill.

"Here." He said pulling off his jacket. I didn't put it on but pulled up my knees and laid it on me like a blanket.

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

He touched my face gently and just looked into my eyes. I was frozen, but I didn't mind. I just gazed back into his. They were ice blue, darkening just around his pupils. I don't know what came over me but I leaned in towards him and crashed my lips against his. He returned the kiss eagerly. We were so close our bodies were practically on top of each other, this was nice. Its not often I get a minute without my brother's on my ass. I was loving every second of this make out session.

We carried on for a few minutes this way and then I noticed his jacket fell off my lap, and his hand went for the button on my jeans. I pushed it away without stopping the kiss. He gave up for a moment and then tried again, this time I pushed his hand harder and pulled away. Looking at him.

"What's wrong baby? Come on.."

"Jake I don't want to."

"Okay.. okay. I'm sorry."

He leaned back in and began kissing me. I allowed it but pushed him off when he reached around and unhooked my bra.

"Dude what the fuck?! I said no." I stood up to walk away but he jumped up and grabbed my arm, pulling me around the side of house with a hand over my mouth.

I struggled against him, he slammed me into the wall. It smacked my head backwards.

"Shhh.. shh. Come on. You kissed me… you want this." He kept one hand over my mouth and smashed his tall frame against me to hold me against the wall. With his free hand he ripped my shirt exposing bare skin and bra.

I bit his hand and he dropped it.

"Bitch!" Then he swung around and punched me in the face. Hard. I fell to the ground and he landed on top of me. A hand back over my mouth.

"Shut up!" he yelled punching me again. He reached down to undo my jeans. Where he faltered was allowing me to get my hand under my back, I pulled out my gun and shoved it against his crotch making sure I wouldn't hit myself.

The gunshot was loud and echoed, but wasn't enough for any of the party goers to hear apparently. Damn you dubstep.

"Ahhh!" Jake screamed out in pain before rolling off of me, his hands filling with blood as he grabbed his crotch.

"You crazy bitch you shot me in the balls!"

I jumped up and kicked him in the face knocking him out… My whole body was shaking. My hands barely held the gun. I quickly pulled it back into my waist band and took off running into the house.

The people I passed looked at me like I was crazy, my torn shirt still exposing my chest and bra and my newly forming black eye and busted lip. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. I had to get out of here fast before someone finds Jake or his dumbass wakes up.

I couldn't call Sam or Dean. They'd never leave me alone again.. I looked up and saw a note on the bathroom mirror from the sorority house.. It had Lori's number for DD. "Oh thank God."

(Sam's POV)

"No one will talk to me anymore. Except you. The sheriff thinks I'm a suspect. And you know what my dad will say? Pray. Have faith. What does he know about faith?" Lori asked me as we sat in the swing set in her front yard.

"I heard you guys fighting before."

Lori looked down before answering me. "He's seeing a woman. A married woman. I just found out. She comes to our church with her husband. I know her kids. And he talks to me about religion? About morality? It's like, on one hand, you know, just do what you want and be happy. But he taught me, raised me to believe that if you do something wrong you will get punished. I just don't know what to think anymore."

Suddenly she leans in and kisses me, wait… Jess. I can't do this…

"Sam?"

"Lori, I can't."

She looked at me for a second before asking… "That someone you lost?"

I nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry." She said kindly.

Her phone began to ring and when I looked down I recognized the number… what the hell.

"Lori put that on speaker."

"Hello?" Lori answered.

"Lori. Hey… Its Emily. Look. I need your help… but please. Don't call my brother. He's sitting outside your house. I need you to sneak out…" Emily's voice started to crack. Somethings wrong. "please… come fast. I'm at the party and I need to get out of here now."

Lori looked at me nervously.

"Okay Emily I'm leaving right now, be there in 5 minutes."

Lori hung up and we hauled ass to the party. I ran in and started looking for Emily. No sign of her anywhere.. Oh God.

"Lori call her."

She hit redial… "Emily I'm here where are you? Okay I'm coming in now."

I followed Lori as she ran upstairs and knocked on a bathroom door. When it opened I nearly stopped breathing.

(Emily's POV)

"Sam…." I couldn't move. I was frozen. "Wha.. What are you doing here?"

He pushed past Lori and walked in the bathroom shutting the door on her.

"Emily what the hell happened. Are you okay?" he asked panicked as he grabbed my face and looked at my injuries. Then he looked down and noticed my ripped shirt.

"Emily… who did this.. Where is he?" He became fuming pissed in a matter of seconds.

"Sam no. Please. We have to leave now!" I was stumbling to get the words out. Oh no.. Not now. I could feel the panic begin to rise in my throat. I swallowed hard and started to breathe in through my nose. You can do this Em.. calm down.. Dean's not here, you can do this alone… just breathe.

"Please Sam.. lets just go.. please!" I started to beg him. He shrugged off his jacket which I immediately pulled on, and bent down so he was face to face with me.

"Emily. Where is he. Who did this?" He asked, his face stone hard.

"He's laying in the yard with a bullet hole in his nutsack! Please Sam! We need to go now before someone finds him!" He looked at me shocked and rushed me out the door.

"Lori I need you to get us out of here fast. Theres a motel right outside of town. We need to get there now."

Lori looked nervous but didn't ask any questions.

We were in the car. Sam sitting in the back with me trying to get a better look at my face.

"Sam."

"Yeah Em.." He wasn't focused on what I was saying but more so on the swelling around my left eye.

"Please… don't tell Dean. Just tell him Karns' spirit did it okay? Please." I begged him.

"Emily no! I'm not gonna lie to him about this! Look at you! That guy almost r-"

"Yeah and I shot him in the balls! Okay! I handled it! I'm fine. I just.. please."

"I don't know…"

Like clockwork Sam's phone rang.

"Hey Dean." My heart stopped for a second…

"Yeah okay… No. No don't worry. I already picked up Em. We're headed to that motel down from the school. Yeah. Okay… Bye."

"He's gonna meet us there Em. He's gonna see this and he's gonna know better."

"Not necessarily. Not if we beat him there!"

"Emily he's two minutes from the place. I'm sorry."

Dammit… To be honest I'm not sure I realistically believe I would have ever been able to hide this from Dean. I'm okay really. A little jumpy seeing as how I just shot a person… not a monster, but a human. But other than that it's just a black eye and a busted lip. I'd be fine… but Dean wouldn't see it that way. He's gonna see me as the little girl who couldn't protect herself, although if you ask me I think I did just fine.

"Did he burn them…" I asked staring ahead.

"Yeah. He did. But I'm gonna go back with Lori and keep an eye on things for tonight to be sure if you don't mind."

"Yeah no I'm okay Sam… really."

He turned me to look at him, "Emily are you sure. You just shot some guy. An actual person." Yes Sam. Obviously I know that. I'm trying to move past it.

"Only in the balls." I tried to laugh, but it hurt. Must have bruised my ribs getting slammed around. The adrenaline was wearing off and I could feel the pain.

"Well. I can't say he didn't get exactly what he deserved." Sam said.

Lori turned into the parking Lot and I saw the Impala parked in front of the last room on the right.

I looked out the window and sighed…

"You want me to at least walk you in? He might not freak out so much if I'm there."

I thought about it… but the truth is. Dean would be mad that Sam didn't tell him sooner. I wasn't gonna let him walk into that.

"No Sammy… I need to talk to him alone. Its gonna be bad enough, I don't need him yelling at you too."

Sam got out and helped me out of the car. He pulled me close and leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"You scared the hell out of me kiddo."

"How did you even find out, did Lori come get you?" I asked slightly annoyed.

"No. I was sitting with her when you called, I made her put it on speaker."

"Oh…"

"Alright well get inside. Let Dean clean this up." He said rubbing his thumb on my face. I winced as he touched it.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Its okay Sammy… Be careful. Love you."

"Love you too kiddo."

I turned and walked towards the door. Pausing to stop right in front of it and turning around to see Sam and Lori pulling out. Well. Here goes nothing… I opened the door. Dean was at the table with his back turned to me.

"Just for the record next time I get to party and stalk hot girls and you two assholes can go di-" he stopped talking as he turned and looked at me.

"… Emily. What happened?!"

He jumped up and walked over grabbing my face and looking at my eye the same way Sam did. It must be getting ugly, the vision is starting to blur so the swelling is getting worse.

"Dean. I'm sorry." I said at a whisper as I pulled my face out of his grasp, flinching when his finger grazed my eye.

"Emily what the hell happened… tell me now!" I watched him look me up and down. I pulled off Sam's jacket and heard Dean's breath catch.

He looked down at the torn shirt and all that it exposed underneath. Atleast I was wearing the white bra, not the lacy one.

"Who did this?!" He looked back at me and asked angrily.

"Dea-"

"No! Tell me who did this… now!"

I sighed and looked down, if I was gonna save any kind of dignity I atleast needed to look him in the eyes while I talked. So I looked back up and pulled Sam's jacket over my chest, arms crossed underneath it.

"I met a guy at the library… talked to him to get some information on the case. He's the one that invited me to the party. After Sam texted me and said he had found Lori and to sit tight till you were done I was sitting down and talking with him… I wasn't drinking. But he was, and we just started making out which was fine for a few minutes… then he got handsy and I told him to back off…" I could see Dean's nostrils flare and I could almost swear his green eyes had a hint of red in the iris as I kept going. "I got up to leave and he dragged me around the side of the house… we fought for a few minutes. And then I shot him in the balls."

Dean's eyes went wide but he quickly recollected his face and stayed silent… basically telling me to keep going.

"when he rolled off covered in blood I kicked him in the face and knocked his ass out. Then I ran inside and called Lori for a ride. But Sam was with her, and they came and got me. I don't think anyone saw anything but me running back in the house looking like this…" I looked down.

"Why did you call Lori." He asked emotionlessly.

"Because I didn't want you or Sam to see me… I knew you'd freak out and never let be alone ever again."

"oh well that's for damn sure never happening again."

"… Dean. I handled it! I'm fine! It's a busted lip and a black eye! I've had much worse and you know it!"

Dean just ran his hand down his face and kept his eyes closed… turning and walking away a few steps. He stopped but didn't turn to face me.

"So you shot his balls off?" he asked with a surprised tone.

"Well I didn't check to see if they were still attached or anything, but yeah that's about right."

He turned around and walked back over pulling me into a hug. I was kinda shocked… No yelling? No I told you so?

"Go take a shower, then I wanna clean that up before you go to bed."

I put the shower on hot as it would go, letting the heat calm down my tight muscles. My whole chest and back started to hurt. Jake slammed me harder than I realized. I washed the dirt off and jumped out. Getting into some boxer shorts and one of Dean's old shirts. I stopped and looked in the mirror. Shit, it did look bad. Jake had a mean right hook, but I had a pistol. Look who won that round.

"Sit on the counter, I'll get the kit" Dean said handing me an ice pack.

He walked over and opened the first aid kit.

"You look like hell" he said as he ran the sink next to me.

I laughed, but it hurt, and made me grab at my ribs.

"Those broken?"

"No.. I think just bruised."

"Let me see…" I raised the left side of my shirt up, there was some bruising but not anything too dark, Dean nodded for me to put my shirt back down.

He went to touch the rag to my eye and I jerked away out of instinct.

"Sorry.." I said, he put a hand on the back of my head to hold me in place while he cleaned my face.

"You got a knot back there too. You feeling dizzy or anything?" he gently rubbed the spot where my head slammed against the house.

"Nope."

"Dean… are you mad?"

"Yeah. I'm pissed." He stopped what he was doing to look at me straight on.

"I'm pissed I wasn't there to protect you. I'm pissed some asshole put his hands on my sister. I'm pissed that even after all that… after all this. I still know that you're right."

"What?" I asked shocked.

"I hate it Emily. I absolutely hate it. I hate that you're right. I can't be there 24/7 as much as I'd like to think I can be and I need to know you can handle yourself alone. And shooting some guy in the balls… that was fucking handling it! I'm damn proud of you kiddo." I smiled, even though it hurt.

"I still wanna go back and put a bullet in his head, but I think living with permanent erectile dysfunction for the rest of his life is pretty good punishment too."

"Thank you De." He went back to cleaning my face, afterwards he tossed me some pain killers and a glass of water. I took them and slowly eased off the counter. Stopping to wrap my arms around Dean's waist.

"So are you okay… you know… emotionally and all? You've never shot a human before."

"Well… I think so. I was pretty shaky afterwards. When Sam showed up I almost lost it, but I was able to pull it together."

"Okay. Get some rest, we'll leave out tomorrow."

I laid down and was ALMOST asleep when the phone rang. Shit.

"Okay, who wants the house and who wants the church?" Dean asked as we pulled up, Lori's father was attacked last night. Turns out that hook man's hook was melted down and made into silver antiques, we figure they're in the church or the Rev's house somewhere, so while Lori and her dad are at the hospital we've come to clean house a little.

"I'll take the church." I said.

"Okay, Sam you get the house. I'll help Em. Oh, and Sam… stay out of her underwear drawer." Dean winked and followed behind me.

An hour later Sam came into the church basement where Dean and I had a fire going in an old fireplace, we had already burned our share and started on the bag that Sam brought us. Suddenly there were footsteps above us. We all moved up the stairs and I swung the door open. It was Lori. She was crying in the church sanctuary. We nodded for Sam to go, and me and Dean went back down to finish burning the silver.

Minutes later we heard yelling. We ran up and got there just in time for Dean to fire at hook man, but not before he sliced open Sam's arm.

"Sam!" I yelled and ran to him.

"Dammit why Is he still here?" Dean asked.

"I don't know we've burned everything.." I said frantically.

"Wait, Lori… is that necklace silver?" I remember her saying it was a gift from her dad.

"yeah?"

I ripped if off and threw it do Dean. "Hurry up!" He tossed me back the shot gun.

He took off down the stairs and I jumped up in front of and injured Sam and a terrified Lori. I heard something to my left and turned to shoot, suddenly something slammed against my right and I went flying through the air.

I landed with a thud against the wall, well if I didn't have bruised ribs before I certainly do now.

I looked up just in time to see Hook Man's hook melting away… then he burst into flames.

"Sam… you good?" I asked out of breath. Dean flew up the stairs before he even had time to reply.

"yeah.. I'm okay. We're okay"

By the time daylight broke we were finishing giving our statements to the police. The sheriff ofcourse had to question me about a party I attended last night where a boy was shot, I told him that I heard he tried to rape some girl but I was gone before anything went down. When he asked about my injuries I blamed it on the mysterious man who attacked us in the church. No way In hell he believed me, but he dropped it. Maybe this wasn't Jake's first time to beat on a girl.

I sat in the impala up front next to Dean. We watched Sam say goodbye to Lori… I think he wanted to like her, but he couldn't just yet. It broke my heart for him, I know he's still grieving over Jess.

He got in and sat down next to me.

"We could stick around a while Sammy." Dean offered.

Sam replied by just shaking his head no. Not saying a word as we drove down the road.

I leaned against him and locked my arm through his. I was perfectly content riding up front for a while.


	9. Chapter 8

**Author's note: I'm hoping to explain some of the background including their mom in this story, hope it all makes sense and falls into place like I'm hoping it will.**

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Eww! Ew! Pull over now!" I yelled jumping from the backseat and diving up front between Sam and Dean.

"Dammit, Emily, get off of me! I'm tryin to drive here!" Dean yelled as I tried to straighten out my body.

"Well stop then! Get it out!" I yelled as my face was falling closer to the floorboard at Dean's feet.

Dean jerked the wheel to the right and slammed it in park, then he jumped up leaving only Sam to help me out, I was kinda stuck with my torso in the floorboards and my legs over the seat.

"Where is it Emily?!"

"I don't know! It was there! There was like 3 of them!"

Sam finished pulling me out as I heard dean smash the damn things. Fucking spiders man!

"Ugh! I'm not getting back in this car till its fumigated!"

"Emily don't be so dramatic." Sam said rolling his eyes.

"We were seriously attacked by bugs yesterday! I don't think I'm being all that dramatic Sam!"

We just wrapped up a case involving some Indian burial grounds. We were literally ATTACKED by swarms and swarms of different types of bugs. Now that we've left I keep finding those bastards in the car. They must have crawled in through the vents or some shit! I was fucking done with bugs for the rest of my life.

"Alright alright. Quit your bitching. We'll stop at the next motel and I'll make sure they're gone. Okay?" Dean asked annoyed.

"Yes. Thank you. But I'm riding up front till we get there." I said matter of factly.

We got to the motel with plenty of daylight left, it only took Dean a few hours to completely pull everything out and make sure baby was bug free. He even pulled off the dashboard and panels on the doors. I love him sometimes.

"Well we're here so we might as well crash for the night and head out tomorrow, Sammy see if there are any jobs near by." He said walking in to get a beer.

Since we had a few hours to kill I offered to do laundry, Yes. I know. Shocking, but Dean de-bugged baby for me, so I think a few loads won't kill me.

"So uh food?" Dean stood up and asked.

"Yeah I want chicken strips De."

"You always want chicken strips…"

"Not true. When I'm reeeally hungry I get what you get Mr. Double with bacon and extra onions." I smirked at him before he left.

Dean came back and we all sat and ate dinner in the room.

"Hey." I said getting both their attention.

"Do you think Dad is watching us… Like do you think he's keeping tabs on us?"

"I don't know Em. We can't get a clue on where the hell he is. No one's seen him around. So I guess its possible."

Sam just shook his head like the question irritated him. "I'm going to bed."

He climbed in and Dean shrugged when I raised an eyebrow. It was Sammy's turn to share a bed tonight, so I climbed in and shoved my cold feet under one of his legs, he didn't even move. He must be passed out.

Its dark, but I can feel Sam moving around next to me… must be another nightmare. I flicked on the lamp next to us… poor Sam. I can't just leave him like this. So I started to shake him awake.

"Sam.. Sammy… hey wake up."

He jumped up and looked around confused.

"Em? What time is it?"

"Clock says 430, you okay? You were basically seizing in the bed. Nightmares?"

"Yeah uhh. I'm sorry. Go back to sleep.."

He jumped up and grabbed a pen and a note pad before walking to the table and starting to scribble something. I laid back down but couldn't fall back asleep so I got up and turned on the other lights. I woke up Dean and sent him for coffee and for me an orange juice.

Dean came back, without my orange juice- he knew it gave me acid reflux but sometimes I crave them and drink it anyways. Guess he didn't want to listen to me whine about heartburn the rest of the day... Water it is then. Sam didn't even touch his coffee, he just kept drawing… what the hell.

Suddenly he stands up. "Wait. I've seen this." He starts searching through his duffel bag.

"Seen what, what are you doing?" I asked him.

"I know where we have to go next." Then he pulls out a picture and puts it side by side to his drawing, laying it in front of Dean and I. It was a picture of us, all of us- even mom, standing in front of our old house in Kansas. The house. The one where my mother died, the one where this whole life of hunting got started.

"Where? " Dean asked not catching on, but I knew where he wanted to go.

"Back home –back to Kansas." Ding ding ding, too bad this isn't the lottery, cause I would have hit the jackpot.

"Okay, random. Where'd that come from?" Dean asked him.

"All right, um, this photo was taken in front of our old house, right? The house where Mom died?"

"Yeah."

"And it didn't burn down, right? I mean, not completely, they rebuilt it, right?"

"I guess so, yeah. What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"Okay, look, this is gonna sound crazy but….the people who live in our old house –- I think they might be in danger."

"Why would you think that?" Dean started to get a little touchy.

Uh…it's just, um….look, just trust me on this, okay?

"Wait, whoa, whoa, trust you?" Dean jumped up and walked towards him.

"Yeah."

"Come on, man, that's weak. You gotta give me a little bit more than that."

"I can't really explain it is all."

"Sammy please try, your freaking me out. Whats going on?" I asked quietly.

"I have these nightmares."

"I've noticed." Dean said while he rolled his eyes.

"And sometimes….they come true."… No. No. I remembered hearing bloody mary say something about his dreams… I thought she was lying. Hell I hardly remembered what she said after the headache she gave me.

"Come again?" Dean asked cautiously.

"Look, Dean….I dreamt about Jessica's death –- for days before it happened."

"Sam, people have weird dreams, man. I'm sure it's just a coincidence."

"That's what Mary meant. Isn't it Sam?"

"You heard her?"

"Yeah, I hardly remember, but I just thought she was lying or something."

"No, I dreamt about the blood dripping, her on the ceiling, the fire, everything, and I didn't do anything about it 'cause I didn't believe it. And now I'm dreaming about that tree, about our house, and about some woman inside screaming for help. I mean, that's where it all started, man, this has to mean something, right?"

Dean stood up, I could tell he was stressing out. "I don't know man."

"What do you mean you don't know, Dean? This woman might be in danger. I mean, this might even be the thing that killed Mom and Jessica!"

"All right, just slow down, would ya? I mean, first you tell me that you've got the Shining? And then you tell me that I've gotta go back home? Especially when…."

"When what?"

"When I swore to myself that I would never go back there?" I looked to Dean and could tell this was breaking his heart.

I don't have any memories in that house. I was only 6 months old the night Mom died, was murdered. Sam and Dean, they had memories. They had memories of growing up there, of being with mom there, and of the night she died. Sam was only 6 or so. He doesn't remember a lot, but Dean was 10. It was the hardest on him, and he had stories of mom he used to tell me and Sammy when we were little. The only thing Sam would talk about was how pretty he remembered mom being, and how good she always smelt when she carried him around or picked him up. I wish I had memories of mom. My only memories are the stories, I used to make Dean tell one to me every night.

" I know man… I do. But. Look, Dean, we have to check this out. Just to make sure."

Dean looked down. "I know we do."

I walked up behind him and grabbed his hand, I squeezed it. He looked down at me, it was like he was gonna cry. I hated seeing Dean like this. This is gonna be a rough one.

We were packed up and on the road in 20 minutes. 6 hours later here we are, parked in front of the house where our mother died.

"You gonna be all right, man?" Sam asked Dean.

"Let me get back to you on that."

We walked up to the door, I wrapped one arm around Dean's and walked next to him. I was… scared. Not of monsters, or spirits, or whatever may hurt the people in the house. I was scared to be here, to walk the same floors my mother did, to be in the room where she died, I can't explain it. It's like a double edged sword, I didn't have to live with the bad memories, but I also didn't have any that were good. This house held a different meaning for me. It was for me only about my mother's death.

Sam knocked, a young pretty blonde woman answered.

"Yes?"

"Sorry to bother you, ma'am, but we're with the Federal—" Dean started to lie.

"I'm Sam Winchester, and this is my brother, Dean. We used to live here. You know, we were just drivin' by, and we were wondering if we could come see the old place." Sam interrupted.

"Winchester. Yeah, that's so funny. You know, I think I found some of your photos the other night."

"You did?" Dean asked surprised.

"Yeah, come on in, I'll get em for you."

"Juice! Juice! Juice! Juice!" called an adorable little boy in a play pen in the kitchen.

"That's Ritchie. He's kind of a juice junkie. And my daughter, Sari, this is Sam and Dean. They used to live here."

"Hi." She smiled at us shyly. We all smiled back and I waved.

"Hey, Sari." Sam said

"So, you just moved in?" Dean asked the woman named Jenny.

"Yeah, from Wichita."

"You got family here, or….?"

"No. I just, uh….needed a fresh start, that's all. So, new town, new job – I mean, as soon as I find one. New house."

"So, how you likin' it so far?"

"Well, uh, all due respect to your childhood home –- I mean, I'm sure you had lots of happy memories here. But this place has its issues." Dean gave a small sad smile when she spoke. I felt numb. I wasn't sure what to feel yet. I just stayed close to Sam's side, I looked around, it was a beautiful house. Its hard for me to imagine Dad in a place like this. We grew up in motel rooms mostly, this place was so nice compared to that.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked her.

"Well, it's just getting old. Like the wiring, you know? We've got flickering lights almost hourly."

"Oh, that's too bad. What else? "

"Um…sink's backed up, there's rats in the basement. I'm sorry. I don't mean to complain."

Dean shook his head so she would know she wasn't offending us. "No. Have you seen the rats or have you just heard scratching?"

"It's just the scratching, actually."

"Mom. Ask them if it was here when they lived here." Sari suddenly spoke up.

"What, Sari?" Sam asked her.

"The thing in my closet."

"Oh, no, baby, there was nothing in their closets." She looked to us. "Right?"

"Right. No, no, of course not." We all said.

"She had a nightmare the other night." Jenny explained.

"I wasn't dreaming. It came into my bedroom –- and it was on fire." I gripped Sam's sleeve and threw my eyes up to Dean, he looked as shocked as I felt.

We were walking back out to the car now… I was still feeling. Weird, about all of it. Sam and Dean were talking, but I just didn't have anything to say. I just walked silently with the box Jenny gave me, I haven't been able to open it yet. I just. I can't.

"You hear that? A figure on fire." Sam asked Dean.

"And that woman, Jenny, that was the woman in your dreams?"

"Yeah. And you hear what she was talking about? Scratching, flickering lights, both signs of a malevolent spirit."

"Yeah, well, I'm just freaked out that your weirdo visions are comin' true."

"Well, forget about that for a minute. The thing in the house, do you think it's the thing that killed Mom and Jessica?" Sam's voice was getting higher and louder the more he talked, he was getting panicky.

"I don't know!" Dean said just as frantic.

We got in the car and drove towards a gas station close by.

"Well, I mean, has it come back or has it been here the whole time?" Surely not, Dad would have checked.

"Or maybe it's something else entirely, Sam, we don't know yet."

"Well, those people are in danger, Dean. We have to get 'em out of that house."

"And we will."

"No, I mean now."

"And how you gonna do that, huh? You got a story that she's gonna believe?"

"Then what are we supposed to do Dean?"

"We just gotta chill out, that's all. You know, if this was any other kind of job, what would we do?"

"We'd try to figure out what we were dealin' with. We'd dig into the history of the house." I finally spoke.

"Exactly, except this time, we already know what happened." Dean said.

"Yeah, but how much do we know? I mean, how much do you actually remember?" I asked carefully.

"About that night, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Not much. I remember the fire…the heat… And then I carried you out the front door, pulling Sammy behind me. Then I remember sitting outside, waiting for Mom and Dad to come out. But uh.. well. Dad came out a few minutes later."

"You carried me out?"

"Yeah, what, you never knew that?"

"No. Dad said he was the one who found mom in the nursery, I figured he did… did you go in the nursery.. when mom was.. you know."

"No. No I didn't, dad handed you to me in the hallway. I already had gotten Sam up. And, well, you know Dad's story as well as I do. Mom was….was on the ceiling. And whatever put her there was long gone by the time Dad found her."

I felt this lump in my throat get bigger the more we talked about it.

"And he never had a theory about what did it?" Sam asked.

"If he did, he kept it to himself. God knows we asked him enough times." Dean replied.

"Okay. So, if we're gonna figure out what's goin' on now…we have to figure out what happened back then. And see if it's the same thing."

"Yeah. We'll talk to Dad's friends, neighbors, people who were there at the time."

"Does this feel like just another job to you?" Sam asked him quietly.

Dean didn't answer him, he just got out of the car.

"I'll be right back. I gotta go to the bathroom" No he doesn't, he's going to do what I've wanted to do from the moment I found out we were coming here. Calling dad.

"Hey Sam.. what do you remember about mom. About living here."

"Uhh. Not a lot, I remember the house. That me and Dean shared a room, we had bunk beds, he was on top ofcourse. I remember dad came home dirty all the time and mom would make him wash up before he could eat dinner." He laughed to himself.

We left the gas station and went to the garage dad used to work at, it looked more legit if it were just the boys walking in so I waited this one out in the car. Staring at the box sitting on the seat next to me.

Sam and Dean walked back with some info, we were headed to see a psychic of all things, it was almost funny enough to make me laugh, but this case isn't one I think I'll be laughing at anytime soon.

When we walked up the porch steps I read the sign, MISSOURI MOSELEY. I vaguely remember reading about dad visiting Missouri, I thought he meant the state. We walked in and sat down on the couch, a woman called out from another room, "Be there in a minute!"

She and a man came around the corner not long after, walking out her previous customer. As she shut the door behind him she turned and looked at us.

"Winchesters." Wait… what? How does she know us.

"I'm sorry?" Sam asked.

"Well Sam hunny I have known you and your siblings for a very long time. I know you don't know me though. Emily hunny, its okay, you don't have to be afraid." She said turning to me and smiling.

"What?" I jumped "I'm not scared."

"Well not of me, but you're afraid of that house. You shouldn't be baby. Its just wood and nails."

I eyed her carefully but couldn't find the words.

"Missouri, we're looking for our Dad… have you seen him recently?"

"No Sam I'm afraid I haven't, not in a very long time." She looked at him for a second and cocked her head. "Oh Sam. I'm so sorry about your girlfriend… the nightmares. You poor thing." It was Sam's turn to looked shocked and scared, I was glad to have the attention off of me.

Dean was still sitting next to me and noticed that I had been tapping my foot since we sat down, and it had only gotten faster after Missouri's comments. I felt his arm swing around behind me, pulling me a little closer to his side.

"Dean. That babygirl is okay, you don't have to protect her in the house. She's safe." Dean narrowed his eyes.

"Don't you cuss me boy."

Now Dean had a look of pure shock, "I didn't say anything!"

"No but you were thinking it. Come on kids, let me make you some tea. I promise, its not poison." She giggled as she walked away, we followed her into her kitchen.

"Okay. So, our dad –- when did you first meet him?" Sam wasted no time.

"He came for a reading. A few days after the fire. I just told him what was really out there in the dark. I guess you could say…I drew back the curtains for him."

"What about the fire? Do you know about what killed our mom?" Dean asked next.

"A little. Your daddy took me to your house. He was hopin' I could sense the echoes, the fingerprints of this thing."

"And could you?"

"I…." She was going to speak but stopped suddenly.

"What was it?"

"I don't know. Oh, but it was evil. So…you think somethin' is back in that house?"

"Definitely." Sam said.

"I don't understand. I haven't been back inside, but I've been keepin' an eye on the place, and it's been quiet. No sudden deaths, no freak accidents. Why is it actin' up now?"

"I don't know. But Dad going missing and Jessica dying and now this house all happening at once –- it just feels like something's starting."

"That's a comforting thought." I mumbled out loud more to myself then anything.

"Well what are we waiting for, lets get over there." Missouri said standing up. Oh I so am not ready to go back in that house right now. I'm not even done processing it from the first time.

She quickly turned to look at me.

"Emily sweetie, you need come with us. I know you don't understand right now, but this house was a part of your life too. You need to face it just as much as they do."

My mouth barely opened, I tried but couldn't make the words come out.

Man, 15 minutes with this woman and she has rendered me pretty much speechless. That NEVER happens, I'm always the loud mouth of the bunch. I got an extra dose of that Winchester mouth problem.

Dean stood up behind me and squeezed my shoulders, "Come on kiddo."

I felt bad, guilty even. I didn't want this to be about me and my feelings. I wanted to focus on Dean and Sam. How they were feeling, I wanted to be there for them. I just wanted to ignore mine for now.

We drove back to Jenny's, Missouri up front with Dean and Sam in the back with his arms around me, these two were extra protective today, not that I really mind at the moment.

We knocked and an upset Jenny answered the door with Ritchie crying in her arms. "Hey guys, What are you doing here?"

"Hey, Jenny. This is our friend, Missouri." Sam said.

"If it's not too much trouble, we were hoping to show her the old house. You know, for old time's sake." Dean said a little forcefully.

"You know, this isn't a good time. I'm kind of busy." Jenny said trying to comfort Ritchie. It was obvious she was spooked.

Dean tried to persuade her but Missouri smacked him in the back of the head and shut him up.

"Give the poor girl a break, can't you see she's upset?" then she turned to Jenny, " Forgive this boy, he means well, he's just not the sharpest tool in the shed, but hear me out." Dean looked offended, another one of those times I would be laughing, but I'm not.

"About what?"

"About this house."

"What are you talking about?"

"I think you know what I'm talking about. You think there's something in this house, something that wants to hurt your family. Am I mistaken?" Damn this lady was good.

"Who are you?"

"We're people who can help, who can stop this thing. But you're gonna have to trust us, just a little."

Jenny let us in and Missouri went straight up the stairs, we all followed.

"If there's a dark energy around here, this room should be the center of it." She said walking into the second door on the right side of the hallway.

"Why?" Sam asked.

"This used to be your nursery Emily. This is where it all happened." My heart felt like it stopped beating. I grabbed the back of Sam's jacket and wadded a death grip of it in my hand. He looked down at me sadly and mouthed "its okay."

I looked up to Dean, his face was so torn. He just stared around the room, stopping on the ceiling. This was killing him, we needed to leave. I had to go… I felt my breath become shallow, it was like something was pushing on my chest, I started to feel my finger tips tingle and go numb. I needed to leave, now. But I was frozen where I stood, my breath got quicker and quicker as if trying to catch up to my racing heart. I looked up to the ceiling and felt my chest tighten again. Why couldn't I move, why couldn't I breathe.

"Boys take your sister outside." Missouri said quietly. Suddenly both of their eyes were on me but I couldn't look away from the ceiling.

Sam got down on my level and tried to get me to look away,I looked down to him but it's like I couldn't see his face in front of me. He was there, but he was far away. He was saying something I couldn't hear. Suddenly he was gone, Dean was there instead and he put himself inches away from my face.

"Emily close your eyes, okay? Just close your eyes baby it's okay." He had his hands on my shoulders, finally I looked down and squeezed them shut, my breathing picking up faster and faster, it was getting louder. I just kept sucking in air but its like none of it was going into my chest.

"Shhh.. come on, lets go." He tucked me into his side and walked me down the stairs and out to the car. He sat me in the front seat and I laid my face down on my knees, my chest was so tight, I felt like it was going to explode. Dean got down on his knees and leaned down in front of me.

"Em, just breathe. Slow deep breaths, in through your nose… come on.. breathe." I finally was able to draw in one slow breath… then another.. I was coming back down. Dean just sat with me, not saying a word. One hand sitting on my knees, the other running through my long hair as he pushed it off to the side.

"There you go… your okay."

"Dean I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to.. I just couldn't stop it." I said shakily, still trying to get air into my body.

"Shhh. Shh. Its okay, I know. You've taken in a lot today kiddo. Its okay."

I finally was able to pull my face away from my knees and look at him, "We all have Dean. You and Sam aren't sitting in the car trying to get yourselves under control."

Dean just sighed. He watched my face and I watched his. I know he was hurting, "I know this is really hard for you De. I didn't wanna make it any harder, I wanted to help you get through it. This house… I don't remember it like you do. I can't imagine how you feel. Just once I wanted to be the one to help you."

He smiled at me and rubbed his thumb on my cheek, "Kiddo. You do. You give me space when I need it, and when I really need it, your always there with a hug. You make sure I'm never alone. You and Sammy. You two get me through days like this. This one's just super hard on all of us."

"Come on, lets go catch up to Sam and Missouri." He reached out his hand and I gladly took it.

When we walked back up Sam eyed me carefully. I gave him a small nod to let him know I was okay, then I went and stood next to him. Putting an arm around his waist and leaning against him. He put an arm around me and held it there. I know it hurts his feelings that I always go to Dean for this. I want him to know I need him too. He just… isn't ready to know. Or I'm just not ready to say.

"I don't know if you kids should be disappointed or relieved, but this ain't the thing that took your mom."

"Wait, are you sure?"

She nodded.

"How do you know?"

"It isn't the same energy I felt the last time I was here. It's somethin' different."

"What is it?"

"Not it. Them. There's more than one spirit in this place."

"What are they doing here?"

"They're here because of what happened to your family. You see, all those years ago, real evil came to you. It walked this house. That kind of evil leaves wounds. And sometimes, wounds get infected."

"I don't understand."

"This place is a magnet for paranormal energy. It's attracted a poltergeist. A nasty one. And it won't rest until Jenny and her babies are dead."

"You said there was more than one spirit."

"There is. I just can't quite make out the second one."

"Well, one thing's for damn sure –- nobody's dyin' in this house ever again. So whatever is here, how do we stop it?" Dean asked her.

We went back to Missouri's to gather supplies as she told us the plan.

"So, what is all this stuff, anyway?" Dean asked as Missouri packed small bags.

"Angelica Root, Van Van oil, crossroad dirt, a few other odds and ends."

"Yeah? What are we supposed to do with it?"

"We're gonna put them inside the walls in the north, south, east, west corners on each floor of the house."

"We'll be punchin' holes in the dry wall. Jenny's gonna love that."

"She'll live." I added.

"And this'll destroy the spirits?" Sam asked.

"It should. It should purify the house completely. We'll each take a floor. But we work fast. Once the spirits realize what we're up to, things are gonna get bad."

We got back to Jenny's after dark, we had her and the kids go out for a movie and decided to split, one person on each corner. One of them was the kitchen, one the basement, one the nursery, and one the back of the hallway. I took the hallway, Sam took the nursery, so that way one of my brother's was close by.

We all got a bag and a hammer, and went to our spots, here goes nothing I said slamming the hammer into the wall. Suddenly I heard Sam fall to the ground. I quickly shoved in my bag and ran into the nursery. Sam had a cord wrapped around his neck. I pulled and pulled but It wouldn't come off, suddenly a drawer flew out of the dresser and I barely ducked in time to miss it, I turned and saw the bag on the ground, I stood up and kicked the wall. Another drawer slammed me in the back and I fell, I reached for the bag and shoved it in. A white light emitted from the center of the room and then things went dead silent. I jumped up and pulled the cord off Sam's neck, trying to shake him awake.

"Sam! Sam! Hey! Sammy Wake up!"

He gasped for air, I wrapped both my arms around him. Thank God he's okay. We walked downstairs to the kitchen. It was destroyed. Knives thrown everywhere.

"De are you cut?!" I asked quickly.

"Shockingly no." He said checking himself again for blood.

Jenny came back and we cleaned up our mess before taking Missouri Home. I was ready to leave, I wanted to go as far away as fast as possible. But Sam insisted that we stay and watch the house tonight to be sure. I think he's afraid something is still in there, but he won't say it out loud.

"Come on Sam. I could be in bed right now." Dean whined.

"Just, I'm telling you man. Something doesn't feel right."

"Dude, we got the bastard. Missouri did her thing, remember?"

"Yeah man I know its ju-"

I glanced out the window and could see Jenny on the second floor screaming and banging on the window for help.

"Oh my God!" I said jumping out of the car. The boys followed right behind me.

"You two get the kids, I'll get Jenny!" Dean yelled as we ran in. I went straight for Ritchie and Sam went to get Sari.

I ran down the stairs and saw Dean and Jenny. I gave Ritchie to her and turned around to see Sari run out alone.

"Sari where's Sam?!" I asked frantically.

"I don't know! Something grabbed him!"

Me and dean met eyes before charging inside guns drawn.

We run in and find him pinned to the wall.

"Sam!" Dean yelled drawing his gun on a firey figure standing in front of Sam.

"No, don't! Don't!" Sam cried.

"What, why?!" I asked.

"Because I know who it is. I can see her now."

Suddenly the fire faded away and standing before us was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Mom. Her long blonde hair and blue eyes were mesmerizing.

"Mom..?" Dean said quietly dropping his gun.

"Dean.." She smiled at him like she was so proud.

"Sam," she said turning to him "I'm so sorry."

"For what?" Sam asked quietly, crying.

Then she turned to me… "Emily. My beautiful Emily" I could feel the tears building.

Suddenly she turned around and stared up at the ceiling. "You get out of my house. And let go of my son!"

She slowly erupted into flames again and was gone, Sam dropped from against the wall.

"Now it's over." He whispered.

Him and Dean were both in tears, as was I. We stood there in silence for a minute before walking back outside.

The next day we said our goodbyes to Jenny. As we were pulling away I finally opened the box. I smiled, there were pictures of all of us, Sammy holding me as a baby, Dean and Sam eating birthday cake, Mom and Dad kissing. I put them back and closed the box, tucking it away somewhere safe under the seat where it wouldn't get stepped on.

We had maybe gotten 10 minutes out of town. But then I felt it. I felt something so strong.

"Dean go back!"

"What why what's wrong?"

"Dean just go to Missouri's! Now!" He flung the car around and stepped on the gas.

"Emily what's going on.. talk to us" Sam pleaded.

I turned to him, "Dad's here. He's here. I know it. I know he's here. Just hurry!"

We flew back to Missouris and came busting through the door.

"Where is he?!" I demanded.

She looked surprised then sad.

"He left already… he only stayed for a minute."

I looked down and bit my lip. "Son of a bitch…" I pushed past the boys and marched to the impala. Punching the post on the porch as I went. I slammed the door shut and threw in my ear buds. Cranking the loudest song I have as loud as it would go.

Moments later I felt the boys both get in and shut the door. I didn't look at them. I was livid. Looking at them would mean talking to them. Talking to them would mean yelling at them because right now I know I don't have the ability to speak calmly.

How could he do that to us… how could he fucking leave us to fight this thing alone. How could he fucking show up, and not come to see us. What the hell is wrong with him! I have been mad, I have been sad, I have been confused… you name it the list goes on and on. But for the first time since dad left I was PISSED at him. I don't even fucking want to see him at this point. Fuck him. Who the fuck does that shit to their CHILDREN?!

I sat and stewed in my anger for hours as we drove. We didn't stop till it was dark out. When we got to the motel I sat in the car till the boys got the room and started carrying in our things. I got out but left my music in my ears blaring so neither of them would try and talk to me. I kept my eyes on the ground as I walked in and set down my stuff. I went straight to the bathroom and turned on the shower. It wasn't a long one, but it was long enough. I had to finally pull out my ear buds. So when I walked out I knew it was coming.

"Hey Em we got food." Sam called.

"Not hungry." I said pulling on a hoodie and pulling the hood up over my wet hair.

"Emily don't do this. Just.. sit down and eat." Dean pleaded.

"No." I put on my shoes and started walking for the door.

"Where are you going? He asked.

"For a walk."

He got up and crossed the room faster than me standing in front of the door.

"Emily stop. Your pissed off and your gonna go do something stupid. Just. Sit down and eat something."

"Dean. Move." I said cold and hard not bothering to look up at him.

"Come on kiddo I even got you cheesecake. You love cheesecake!"

"MOVE!" I reached for the door knob pushing his arm out of the way.

Instead of fighting me he threw his hands in the air.

"What the fuck ever! Go ahead! Get picked up by some fuckin creeper!"

"I will!" I yelled back before slamming the door shut behind me.

Neither of us meant what we said, and we knew that. But he knows better than to put himself on the other end of my temper. He knew what was gonna happen. His dumbass fault for talking to me.

I walked down the road aways and stopped sitting on a bus stop bench. Its not like I was gonna go somewhere. I just wanted to be alone.

I pulled out my phone and waited for the voicemail to pick up.. God knows he ain't gonna answer my call anyways.

"How. Fucking. Dare. You. How could you do that to us?! You made us fight that thing in that house by ourselves and you were there the whole time! Do you know what that does to someone?! Were you just watching? Huh?! Did you watch it break Dean's heart?! Did you watch Sammy nearly get himself killed?! No.. no. Let me guess you have better fucking things to do right? I can't believe you right now. I can't believe this is who I call my Father!" I hung up the phone and chunked it.

I sat there for about an hour. Just in the dark, by myself, letting the anger die down before walking back. I had to go find my phone in the ditch but luckily that didn't take long.

I walked into the room and both boys were asleep on the beds. They both left room for me. Instead I kicked off my shoes and curled up in the chair in the corner. It wasn't comfortable, but I didn't care. I shoved my hands in the hoodie and tried to fall asleep.

When I finally woke up it was light outside. I had been scrunched up in that chair for hours… I groaned and climbed down onto the floor laying flat and stretching, then I just laid there, sprawled out on the floor.

"Are you speaking to us today?" I heard Sam ask.

"Not unless you still have my cheesecake."

Sam laughed, "Its in the fridge."

I slowly peeled myself off the floor and went to pee, then I quickly washed my face and walked out towards the fridge. I hopped up onto the counter and opened the container.

"Where's Dean?"

"Went out to get a paper."

"Was he still mad?

"I don't know kiddo. He hasn't said anything since you left last night."

"I'm sorry Sammy."

"I know. Its okay. I understand."

Dean walked through the door with a donut in his mouth.

Hey turned to look at me, I giggled at his expression. He looked at me like I was going to attack.

"I'm sorry De."

He swallowed the food in his mouth and walked over getting a drink out of the fridge next to me. I was afraid he was still mad at me… but then he violently shook the soda and popped the top of the can pointing it towards me. It splattered all over me AND my cheesecake. I screamed and then I froze with my hands in the air, eyes wide, coke dripping down my face. I looked at Dean with my jaw nearly hitting the ground.

"No worries, I forgive you now kiddo." He was grinning and shoved another donut in his mouth.

Sam sat behind us rolling in laughter. Dean was getting me back for last night, but I couldn't even be mad. I just started laughing and punched him in the arm. He knew how to end a fight.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: Hey guys, thanks for the favs, follows, reviews! I update on days when I don't work since I work night shift so It'll be at least once a week I'm hoping for more but let's just go with once for now! I also have a huge test coming up that may delay some chapters but I promise they are coming!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

After showering to get the soda out of my hair, I decided to spend a few extra minutes getting ready. I'm not sure why I wanted to today and not in a few days, I'll be 16 in 3 days. But today I'm in the mood to be pretty. I carefully took the time to straighten each section of my damp hair with the blow dryer and my brush. Then I pulled out my makeup bag, I usually just throw on a little bronzer, eyeliner, and mascara on a normal day. Today I was sure to use concealer to cover all the dark circles under my eyes, and some blush to give my pale face some color. I even pulled out my favorite eyeshadow- a few varying shades of brown and cream that blend from one to another. I topped it off with a little bit of finishing powder and hair spray to keep everything in place. I looked in the mirror, and sighed as I realized the only place I'll probably end up going today is the backseat of the impala. Oh well.

"…What's all that for?" Dean asked as I walked out of the bathroom.

"Me."

"You did your makeup for yourself?"

"Yeah…. You gotta problem with my make up or something?"

"No. It just.. I don't know. Its different."

My face kinda fell and I looked at Dean with puppy dog eyes. "…Like bad different?"

"No! No I didn't mean it like that Em. I just.." he paused lost for the words as he quickly tried to back-track what he's just said

"Just stop growing up!" He finally shouted at me before walking out the door, bumping into Sam as he passed on his way back in.

Sam looked at Dean, then at me.

"What the hell was that all about?"

"Sammy do I look ugly today?" I asked him with a pouty tone.

He laughed and shook his head, "No. Emily. You never look ugly, and your make up is fine. Don't let Dean get to you. He just knows he'll have to be extra mean to the boys today."

I grinned showing my dimples. "You sure that's all? I don't look like a whore do I?"

Sam walked over and grabbed my bags from me, "No Emily. Would I walk with you out that door if you did?"

"I guess not."

"Just come on." He said ushering me out the door.

We stopped at a diner a few towns over and the bus boy was FINE AS HELL! Guess I picked a good day to spend a little extra time on my appearances.

Dean noticed me noticing of course and gave me the "don't even think about it because you're never ever having sex causing I'm never ever letting you have a boyfriend" look before going back to looking through dad's Journal- Sam was calling contacts to see if anyone's heard from Dad.

I decided to throw a wrench in his Dean's usual "no boys" tactics- if he was gonna play this game. Then I was gonna play it better.

A small grin started to twitch at my lips. "Dean…"

He looked back up at me.

"What's your favorite position?"

He choked on his drink and it spilt down his face onto his shirt, "What?!"

"Well since I'm not allowed to find out my own what's good and whats not I suppose I'll live vicariously through you. You know, I bet I could be your wing man and we could pull that waitress over there- she looks like she'd be a doggy style kinda girl. Find out for me and then you can spill on all the dirty details in the morning." I offered nonchalantly. Although the thought of that makes me wanna puke in mouth I knew it would freak Dean out, and that would be worth it.

He stared at me horrified.

"No? Okay then… I'm just gonna go back to checking out the bus boy then if you don't mind." He realized what I'd just done.

"So. Not. Funny."

Sam was oblivious to what just happened and just shook his head at Dean's comment, not even bothering to ask what it was about.

"Okay so Caleb said he hasn't seen Dad in months. And neither has Jefferson or Pastor Jim. What about the journal? Anything leads in there?" He asked Dean.

"No, same as last time I looked. Nothing I can make out... I love the guy, but I swear, he writes like friggin' Yoda."

"You know, maybe we should call the Feds. File a missing person's."

"We've talked about this. Dad'd be pissed if we put the Feds on his tail." I rolled my eyes after hearing this, who really gives a fuck if we piss off Dad at this point.

"I don't care anymore." Sam agreed with me unknowingly.

Dean's phone started to buzz somewhere in his jacket, but the damn fool couldn't find it… Sam just kept talking.

"After all that happened back in Kansas, I mean...he should've been there, Dean. You said so yourself. You tried to call him and...nothing."

"He was there Sam." I added coldly.

"Yeah well he should have been with us"

"I know!" Dean said getting irritated," Where the hell is my cellphone?"

Uggh. "Inside left pocket of your flannel Dean."

"You know, he could be dead for all we know." Oh Sam… please don't.

"Don't say that! He's not dead! He's – he's..." Dean tried to cover watching my face.

"He's what? He's hiding? He's busy?"

"Huh. I don't believe it." Dean mumbled barely loud enough for us to hear.

"What?" We asked simultaneously.

"It's, uh...It's a text message. It's coordinates."

"You think Dad is texting us now?" Sam asked as if the thought was ridiculous.

"He's given us coordinates before." Dean said pulling out a laptop.

"The man can barely work a toaster, Dean."

"Sam, it's good news! It means he's okay, or alive at least."

"Oh no." I muttered, not meaning to say it out loud.

"What's wrong?" Sam quickly asked.

"Umm… Dean. Are you sure it's Dad's phone number?"

"Nah, it said 'unknown' on the caller ID but I mean who else would it be."

Suddenly I felt like I could hurl. If dad sent us a text, then dad has checked his voicemail. If dad has checked his voicemail… then Dad has definitely heard my message. Oh shit.

I say shit when I'm mad. Mean shit. Ugly shit. I just…. What if that's the last thing Dad hears before he goes off and get s himself killed somewhere.

"Why Em what's wrong?" Sam asked watching me go pale. This caused Dean to look up too.

"Umm.. I kinda sorta. Called. Dad…."

"…and?" Dean pressed.

"Well.. I called him. Last night. On my walk."

Dean sighed and shut his eyes letting his head drop. He knew exactly what that meant. Sam just looked confused.

"Emily…. What did you say."

He looked back up to me and I was almost afraid to answer that question out loud.

"Umm. Something really not nice. With um. Probably the fuck word here and there."

"I knew you were gonna do something stupid. I should have locked you in the damn bathroom." Oh yeah. He was pissed. Because he knows that Dad's not just gonna let that one slide. He's gonna make sure I get what's coming for that, and unfortunately that means Dean will get an ear full as well.

"Dean!" Sam said as if he was getting on to him, "Come on Em it couldn't have been that bad."

"Oh yes. It could" Dean said before I had the chance.

"Sooo… ummm. The coordinates. Where we going?" I asked trying to change subjects. Dean shook his head at me before looking back at the laptop.

"That's the interesting part. Rockford, Illinois. Its only a few hours from here, lets go. I'll fill you in on the ride."

So it turns out Rockford has a haunted asylum. Cop went in, came home, killed his wife. Dean and Sam are inside the bar right now trying to get some dirt out of the guy's partner.

Suddenly I see Dean bust out the door. He walked over and got in.

"Well that was fast, where's Sammy."

"Method Acting." Dean Scoffed.

"Oooookay." I said not pushing it further.

Sam came out and got in not too long after that.

"Shoved me kinda hard in there, buddy boy." Dean said turning to look at him.

"I had to sell it, didn't I? It's method acting." What the hell is method acting?

"What'd you find out from Gunderson?" I asked getting us back on track.

"So, Walter Kelly was a good cop. Head of his class, even-keeled, he had a bright future ahead of him."

"What about at home?"

"He and his wife had a few fights, like everybody, but he was mostly smooth sailing. They were even talking about having kids."

How sad… This poor guy will live the rest of his life living with knowing he took his own future away. I had to get out of my head and back into the converstation.

"Alright, so either Kelly had some deep-seated crazy waiting to bust out, or something else did it to him." I pondered out loud.

"Right." Sam agreed.

"What'd Gunderson tell you about the asylum?" Dean asked.

"A lot."

The next morning I stood in front of a fence that was at least 100 feet high. Okay maybe I was being a little dramatic.

"Oh come on guys! This thing is as tall as 4 of me! There's no way I can get over it."

Sam easily scaled the chain link fence and hopped over.

"Alright Dean give her a boost and I'll catch." Dean went to grab my foot.

"You assholes better not drop me." I said putting my foot right in the palm of his hand and grabbing hold of the fence.

Dean pushed up and I pulled.

"Damn Emily… no more cheeseburgers for you." He said as he pushed me over, I climbed down some before Jumping and letting Sam catch me around my waist.

Dean Easily climbed up and slung his body over landing on two feet, I automatically kicked him in his shins.

"Ow! Son of a Bitch Em! What was that for?"

"Calling me fat you asshole!" I said as I stalked off walking ahead of Sam.

"Oh come on kiddo! I didn't mean it like that." He tried to holler at me obviously realizing that I'm 15 now, not 5 and calling me fat actually hurts my feelings.

This place was creepy as hell, even in the daylight. I walked as close as possible to Sam- the brother who would never call me fat- without actually stepping on his feet. I grabbed his arm with one hand and had my other sitting on my gun.

"So apparently the cops chased the kids here...into the south wing. " Sam informed us.

"South wing, huh? Wait a second …. 1972. Three kids broke into the south wing, only one survived. Way he tells it, one of his friends went nuts and started lighting up the place." Dean read finding notes in dad's journal.

"So whatever's going on, the south wing is the heart of it."

"But if the kids are spelunking the asylum, why aren't there a ton more deaths?" I asked not understanding.

( **AUTHOR'S NOTE:** As I sit here typing at 3 something in the morning something catches me out of the corner of my eye…. I just had a 20 min stand off with a HUGE ass spider. I have a serious legit fear yall. But I done ganked that bitch! Okay… now that I can breathe again its back to the story. Just had to share! )

"Looks like the doors are usually chained. Could've been chained up for years." Sam suggested.

"Yeah, to keep people out. Or to keep something in." Dean added. They gave each other a knowing look.

"Let me know if you see any dead people, Haley Joel."

"Seriously Dean?! You're being such an ass today! Are you on your man period or something?" I snapped at him. He seemed taken aback by my outburst.

"Dude, enough." Sam said.

"I'm serious. You gotta be careful, all right? Ghosts are attracted to that whole ESP thing you got going on."

"I told you, it's not ESP! I just have strange vibes sometimes. Weird dreams."

"Yeah, whatever. Don't ask, don't tell." He said before taking lead.

"You get any reading on that thing or not?"

"Nope. Of course, it doesn't mean no one's home." Well that' not creepy or anything.

"Spirits can't appear during certain hours of the day." I added.

"Yeah, the freaks come out at night." Dean said offering me a smile, I rolled my eyes and went back to Sam's side. Enforcing that I was pissed at Dean.

"Yeah." Sam mumbled.

"Hey Sam, who do you think is the hotter psychic: Patricia Arquette, Jennifer Love Hewitt, or you?" Sam shoved Dean, only making him laugh harder.

Dean slowed down to walk right beside me.

"If I promise to buy you chocolate tonight will you forgive me?"

"Why would you wanna do that, trying to fatten me up somemore?" I asked refusing to look at him.

"Oh Emily please, you know I didn't mean anything by it. Besides, muscle weighs more than fat." He tried to step in front of me. I dodged around him.

"Yeah well you're not allowed to call any woman who wear's over a a size 2 fat. Its just hateful. And That's exactly what you did." I said still not looking at him.

"I DID NOT! I was just saying your not a little girl anymore. I used to be able to throw you around like a football. Now you're all grown up with make up and boys look at you and you look at them." His face grew more and more uncomfortable as he went.

"All I'm saying is I would never call you fat, you know better than that." He said this time forcing me to stop. I gave in and looked at him.

"Well…. I suppose I could forgive you if you bring me some chocolate pie tonight." He grinned and I grinned back before walking ahead and catching up with Sam.

We walked into this horrific room, it had different medical equitment around old metal lables. Each had a set of straps to lock someone down. This was getting creepier by the minute.

"Man. Electro-shock. Lobotomies. They did some twisted stuff to these people. Kinda like my man Jack in Cuckoo's Nest." Dean said smiling at Sam, who simply ignored him.

"So. Whaddaya think? Ghosts possessing people?" Dean asked to whoever.

"Maybe. Or maybe it's more like Amityville, or the Smurl hunting." I suggested.

"Spirits driving them insane. Kinda like my man Jack in The Shining." Dean grinned. He was really pissing me off today.

"Dean." Sam said getting his attention, "When are we going to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"About the fact Dad's not here."

"Oh. I see. How 'bout...never."

"I'm being serious, man. He sent us here..."

"I think we've figured out by now Dad's not going to be in any location he sends us Sammy." I pointed out.

"So am I, Sam. Look, he sent us here, he obviously wants us here. We'll pick up the search later."

"It doesn't matter what he wants."

"See. That attitude? Right there? That is why I always get the extra cookie." Oh my gosh… seriously Dean?

"Dad could be in trouble, we should be looking for him. We deserve some answers, Dean. I mean, this is our family we're talking about."

"I understand that, Sam, but he's given us an order. "

"So what, we gotta always follow Dad's orders?"

"Of course we do."

I took this as my cue to just walk out and wait by the fence… I didn't wanna listen to them argue anymore. They've been doing that quite a bit lately. Dad's usually in the center of it all. I can't listen to anything having to do with Dad right now.

Dean and Sam walked out with a name and a plan. Looks like I would be paying a visit to a therapist. This oughta be interesting.

The sign on the door read, 'Dr James Ellicott, Clinical Psychiatry'. Turns out his daddy was the doctor who worked the south wing in the 60s when all hell broke loose. Since that's all we knew it was up to me to get some info.

"Emily Collins?" A middle aged man called opening the door to his office. I stood up with a smile and walked in.

"Thanks for seeing me on such short notice, I know you're a busy man but I just couldn't wait any longer." I said sitting down across from him.

"Well I'm glad we could fit you in as well, panic attacks are a scary thing." He said as if already assessing my reactions to everything. I wasn't sure what to say when making the appointment so for once in my line of work I told the truth. Said I was having uncontrollable panic attacks lately.

"Yes. They are…" I said looking down and then up to his name plate.

"Wasn't there another Dr. Ellicot in this area? Worked in the nut house or something?" I asked.

"Umm. Yes. Actually. It was my father's facility. But I'm not sure that's important right now."

"Oh well I'm just so into local history and stuff, I would love to hear what happened. I heard there was some kind of incident in one of the wings… the south one maybe?" I was playing dumb really well.

"Emily. We're here on your dollar. I'm not sure discussing that will help you any." Damn. This guy is good.

"Oh.. right. Yeah."

"I'll make you a deal. You have an hour. Talk to me for the first 45 minutes, and then I'll talk to you for the last 15. Okay?"

"Okay Deal." I shook his hand.

"So Emily. Tell me about your life right now. What's been… going on?"

"Just roadtripping it with my brothers. I'm homeschooled and they're both graduated already so it gives us plenty of time to spend together.

"Do you enjoy being on the road."

"Yeah. Actually I love it. Its… comforting I guess?" Wait. Why am I saying this to him.

"What do you find so comforting about it?"

"Well." I said looking down at the floor. "It makes me feel like nothing can catch me. When I'm on the road with Dean it makes me feel safe. I've got him, and the road." EMILY SHUT UP! I couldn't get why I kept talking.

"Dean? Is he one of your brothers?"

"Yeah. The oldest. 10 years older than me."

"That's quite an age difference, are you close?"

"Very. Dean plays Daddy and best friend as much as he does brother." I slightly smiled.

"Seems like you put a lot of trust in him. Does he know about your panic attacks?"

"Yes. He uhh. He's the only one who can stop them. He just. Fixes me. I'm kind of like a broken record and he just never gives up on me. Just fixes it again and again." I was staring off considering the words that just came out of my mouth. Feeling again like I was less of a person because I couldn't cope with these things on my own.

"What about your other brother?"

"Sammy is 6 years older. He was always the touchy feely one." I said giggling.

"Sam isn't able to help with your panic attacks." Oh no. More word vomit. I can feel it coming.

"No. They started after Sam left…. I mean he's back now and all. But I guess I just. I need Dean. Dean knows how to fix it."

"Well have you tried to fix them yourself?"

"I can't." I said so low it was almost a whisper.

"Why not Emily?"

"I don't know." I answered honestly, looking him in the eyes for the first time in a while.

"I just freeze, and panic, and its like something is suffocating me, and I can't get back and Dean. He just. Brings me back."

"Okay Emily lets try this… when did they start."

"Two and half years ago."

"Was there anything stressful going on at that time?" Dude I couldn't even imagine where to start.

"Nothing more than the usual teenage girl stuff." I said starting to fidget with my hands, my leg tapping.

"Emily… I can't help you unless you're honest with me." He said eyeing my nervous habits. Damn this guy is good.

I just stared at the ground in silence. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should run out now. Tell Dean it just didn't work. Although he would know better.

"Okay Emily. Let me ask you a question."

This caused me to look up at him.

"What's gonna happen if you have one while Dean isn't there?"

"Dean's always there. He promised."

"Emily I think you should be realistic and expect that Dean cannot be with you every step of the way for the rest of your life. You need to learn to lean a little less on him and a little more on yourself." I looked at him like he was crazy. No. Dean promised me after… he said he would never leave me again. He swore he would always be there. He promised me. Dean doesn't break promises.

I glanced at the clock, thank you God!

"Okay Doc. Your turn."

He began to tell me the gruesome story about a riot amongst the patients, and about how many bodies including his father's were never recovered. They relocated the patients and closed the place down. It was a crazy story really.

I stood up and got ready to leave.

"Thanks Doc." I said turning to leave.

"Emily wait… I'm going to put you down for another appointment next month. I think you did good today, but with a little more time I think you can really get past this. In the meantime I'm going to give you this…" He started to scribble notes on a paper, then he handed it to me.

"What is this?"

"Something that will help with the panic attacks, you have to learn to face them on your own. I think this could help you take that first step, it won't be a permanent prescription. But I think it would help you take that push to rely on yourself and not so much on your brother."

I looked down and read the paper, it had the word klonopin and some numbers written in behind it.

"Okay, I'll try." I was lying through my teeth.

As I walked down the hall I prepared to trash the small piece of paper, its not like I'll be back in a month. But instead, something stopped me. I folded the paper up and put it in my pocket.

"Damn kiddo you took forever, what the hell did you talk about in there?" Dean asked as I got in the backseat.

"Just the hospital." I said not meeting his gaze, or he would know I was lying.

He eyed me carefully but decided to drop it I guess.

I shared my new information with the boys and we made plans to revisit the asylum that night. But as we got back to the hotel room, I realized that I'd never be able to get this prescription filled with these two constantly on my ass.

"Hey Dean, do you know where we put the Tylenol?"

"Yeah kiddo, why what's wrong?" He said digging in his bag. Tossing me the bottle.

"I think I've just got a migraine or something… " I said rubbing my head and curling up with a pillow.

He came over and sat by me, anytime I was remotely sick he went all momma bear on me. He put the back of his hand against my forehead and then on the back of my neck.

"Well I don't feel a fever, think you just need to sleep it off? Me and Sammy can cover this one without you." BINGO!

"Are you sure De?" I kinda felt bad leaving them to do it alone, but its not like it would be a difficult job.

"Yeah kiddo, you just sleep this thing off and we'll roll out in the morning okay?" he offered stroking some hair behind my ear like he used to do when I was little and sick.

Thinking about this made me wanna crawl up in his arms, not that I was really sick obviously, but it was just the most comfortable place I could imagine. I settled with just sitting up and wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him.

He seemed taken back but wrapped his arms around me and hugged back.

"What's that for kiddo?" he asked confused.

All I could do was think about Dr. Ellicott's words earlier. How could I rely on anyone else but Dean. How could I get through life without him? He was my rock to stand on. The only thing firm and stable thing I had in this life.

"For always being there."

Dean and Sam got their stuff together and Sam came over and planted a small kiss on my forehead before leaving.

"Get some rest Em, you'll feel better." Dammit. Why are they so nice to me when I'm sick. I was really starting to feel bad about faking it all.

I waited about 30 minutes after the boys left to get back up and put on my jeans. I left the hotel and started walking towards town where I knew there would be some sort of 24 hour drug store open.

When I reached the building it was almost empty, probably just the employees and a shopper or two inside. I took that little piece of paper out of my pocket and walked up to the counter, handing it to the guy on the other side.

He looked it over and then glanced at me, "You have an ID?"

I pulled out my good ole bar ID that clearly states 22 years of age and handed it to him.

He handed it back and left to get my pills. When he came back he walked around the side of the counter and came to stand next to me.

"Okay, this medication requires a little conversation before I can hand it over. Honestly I'm surprised he gave this to someone so young." He said eyeing me again.

"I have some pretty nasty panic attacks." I shared, God why do I keep telling people shit today?

"Ahh. I see. That would explain it then. Well. I would advise you just take a half for a while, till you're used to it. I'm not sure how sudden your attacks come but you should take a half of one every time you feel one starting, or 30 minutes prior to anything that you already know would trigger one."

"Yeah I wish I was that lucky. Do they kick in pretty quick?"

"Yes. Within 15-30 minutes. Like I said the sooner you take it the better. Also. NEVER mix this drug with alcohol okay? It can cause some pretty serious side effects. Makes it easy to OD on it. I've seen it one too many times before."

I nodded and said thank you, I payed for the drug, grabbed some candy to munch on back in the room and left.

When I got back I knew I would have to hide them pretty well. I ripped off the label and colored in the orange bottle with a black sharpie. Throwing it in my make-up bag where I was almost positive the boys would never find it.

I dozed off quickly but woke up as I heard the boys come in. Damn they look rough. Now I feel really guilty.

"Are you two okay?!" I jumped up and flipped on more lights so I could look at them better. Sam had a massive black eye forming, a cut on his cheek, and limped his way in.

Dean's shirt was tattered and he was slightly bleeding on his chest. He winced when he went to sit down.

"Yeah. We'll be fine." He hissed as he moved.

"Dean, sit down. I'm going to get the first aid kit." I said getting into his duffel.

"Don't go anywhere Sammy you're next." I said pointing to him.

I sat down in a chair facing Dean, I had him take off his shirt and began to clean up the odd wounds on his chest.

"De. What the hell happened? What is this stuff?" I asked wiping away black dirt as I cleaned.

"Its gun powder." My eyes shot up to his.

"Some one shot you?!"

"Yeah, with rock salt. Hurts like a bitch by the way." He said turing to look at Sam. Who looked down guilty.

"Seriously. You're saying Sam shot you?" I almost giggled it sounded so ridiculous, but when I stopped to focus on Sam I realized it was really upsetting him. What the hell happened.

"So what'd you do to piss him off?" I asked Dean going back to his wounds.

"He didn't Em… Ellicott did some kind of mind trick or something…. It was my fault not Deans." Sam said sadly.

"Hey Sammy whatever happened out there, trust me. This asshole deserved it." I stopped cleaning long enough to wink at Dean, he had a smile pulling at the left side of his mouth.

When I went to clean up Sam I could tell he was really upset.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

I smiled sadly at him, and finished his face, then I wrapped my arms around him as if he was a giant teddy bear.

"I love you Sammy. Whatever it was I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"I don't know Em. I'm glad you weren't there though."

"That bad?"

"Yeah kiddo… that bad." I squeezed him to me and felt his hand rub my back, I hated seeing Sam upset. He was like a little puppy, you would give anything to fix whatever was wrong so you could see him smile again.

After I was done I cleaned up the mess, and curled back into bed. Dean crawled in and got under the blanket pushing the sheet towards me so he didn't accidentally pull it off of me later.

I was sleeping good when I heard Dean's phone ringing… and ringing. I bumped him with my elbow.

"Dean! Phone!"

He grumbled and hit me with his pillow, what an ass. Then I heard Sam sit up to answer it. I was dozing back off.

"Dad?" Sam said loudly.

Wait…. Dad?


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Thanks for all the love guys!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

Dad? Dad's on the phone. My heart stopped beating. I could feel the room go dead silent as Sam sat on the phone waiting for a response. Dean was still oblivious so I shoved him hard.

"Ow. Dammit what!"

"Its dad….Dean he's on the phone."

That's all it took for Dean to jump off the bed, me behind him.

"Dad. Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Sam asked, I tried my best to listen to the voice on the other end.

"I'm fine." It said… Thank goodness he was okay. I felt myself breathe, I didn't even realize I had been holding my breath. I felt just a few pounds lighter knowing that Dad was alive and okay.

"We've been looking for you everywhere. We didn't know where you were, if you were okay."

"Sammy, I'm all right. What about you kids?"

"We're fine. Dad, where are you?"

"Sorry, kiddo, I can't tell you that" What? Now that I knew my dad was okay I was slowly getting angrier and angrier. What the hell. Why is he keeping us out of everything.

"What? Why not?"

"Look, I know this is hard for you to understand. You're just gonna have to trust me on this."

"You're after it, aren't you? The thing that killed Mom. "

"Yeah. It's a demon, Sam." A demon? Whoa. That's some nasty stuff there.

"A demon? You know for sure?"

"I do. Listen, Sammy, I, uh…I also know what happened to your girlfriend. I'm so sorry. I would've done anything to protect you from that." Sam's face went pained, but he quickly recovered it.

"You know where it is?"

"Yeah, I think I'm finally closing in on it." Well then we need to be there.

"Let us help."

"You can't. You can't be any part of it."

"Are you kidding me right now…" I finally opened my mouth.

"Why not?"

"Give me the phone." Dean said stepping in front of Sam.

"Listen, Sammy, that's why I'm calling. You and your brother, you gotta stop looking for me. Alright, now, I need you to write down these names."

Stop looking for him? Is he serious right now?

"Names? What names, Dad—talk to me, tell me what's going on."

"Look, we don't have time for this. This is bigger than you think, they're everywhere. Even us talking right now, it's not safe."

"No. Alright? No way." Sam started to cop an attitude.

"Give me the phone." Dean said again reaching for it, but Sam pulled away.

"I have given you an order. Now, you stop following me, and you do your job. You understand me? Now, take down these names."

Sam rolled his eyes and Dean yanked the phone away from him.

"Dad, it's me. Where are you?... Yes, sir Uh, yeah, I got a pen. What are their names?"

Dean started to write them down. I still wasn't sure how to react to all this now. I'm thrilled he's alive and okay. But I'm even more pissed that he's keeping us away from the demon.

"Yeah. She's up." Dean said suddenly eyeing me.

"Okay." Dean went to hand me the phone… I just froze looking at him.

"Emily take the damn phone!" Dean growled at me. I reached out and took it from him.

"Daddy?"

"Emily, baby… are you okay?"

"Yeah daddy I'm fine. Where are you? I wanna see you" I could feel the lump in my throat growing, making my voice crack at the end.

"Babygirl its not safe right now for you to be with me. Please understand."

"Daddy we can help you. We can do it I promise." I begged him.

"Look Emily… we need to talk. I got your message." Oh holy fuck shit.

"..Dad.. I.. I'm.."

"Emily I don't know where you got that smartass mouth from but you need to get it under control. You are never to speak to me or anyone else like that ever again."

"Yes sir." I mumbled trying to fight back the tears. I talk to him for the first time in months… and he wants to lecture me.

"You can tell your brother to go buy him a bar of soap so he can scrub your mouth out with it. I never wanna hear that word from your mouth again."

"Yes sir."

"I've gotta go. I love you all. Stay safe, be smart."

"Love you-…. too Daddy." He hung up the phone before I could finish it.

I dropped the phone onto the bed and got up and crossed the room to go to the bathroom.

"Emily.." Dean tried to stop me, but I just shook my head and kept walking.

I locked the door and slid down the back of it. Trying to cry as quietly as possible. I didn't want the boys to know, although at this point you'd think I'd figured out its useless to try and hide this from them. I don't usually cry over much of anything. But this was my daddy. I hadn't heard that voice in months. How can I be so angry at him, and so upset that I've let him down at the same time. I just want him to come back, for us all to be together again. I sat there for a minute pulling myself back together. I got up and splashed water on my face.

Walking back out Sam was already on his laptop looking up the information Dad gave us. Dean was sitting on the bed with his elbows resting on his knees, waiting for me to come out.

He looked at me and knew it was best not to say anything. He just passed me before going into the bathroom himself. I layed back down in the bed wrapping into the blanket, I looked up to the clock, it said 4:07. Well, Happy Birthday to me, too bad my own father couldn't say it.

I made sure that I was asleep by the time Dean came back out.

The next time I opened my eyes it was really bright outside, someone had pulled the curtains open on the windows- weird.

I looked at the clock and it said 12:43. Whoa. I slept a lot last night. I guess I had been having a hard time sleeping worrying about dad, but knowing he was alive I was finally able to crash.

I blinked a few times, remembering that I'm now officially a 16year old. Birthdays usually aren't a big fuss in our family. We usually are on the road working a job and stop for a pie- or cheesecake in my case. I sat up looking for the boys, they were both sitting on the couch watching the too small TV in the corner. Dean heard me getting up.

"Well well well… I thought you might sleep the whole day away."

I grinned, "On my birthday? Yeah right." I walked over and weaseled into the small space between them. I buried my feet under Sam's legs and leaned my back against Dean, he put his arm over the top of the couch behind me so that I could comfortably sit against him.

"So what do you wanna do today birthday girl?"

I eyeballed Sam, grinning wide. "Well I believe at 16 people are allowed to get a license, a license to drive. That's exactly what I wanna do."

Dean scoffed, "You don't have anything to drive, you don't need a license."

"De! Come on, let me drive baby today!"

Deans eyes went wide as he sipped his beer, "Seriously…. Out of all the things you could ask for, you just wanna drive my car?"

"Yep" I said popping the P at the end.

Dean stared down at me, then groaned as he got up causing me to fall backwards, I tried to sit up and regain my balance but Sam was putting extra pressure on my feet and wrapped his hand around my knees making it more difficult.

"Sammy! Stop!" I giggled.

He laughed and slapped my leg, jumping up before I can reach him to slap back.

We all got ready and went to get food in town, I had chicken strips as usual and ofcourse an extra large piece of chocolate and strawberry covered cheesecake. Talk about death by chocolate.

"Alright De, keys." I said as we walked out.

"Nope. No license yet." He said smirking.

"Well fine, take me to the DMV then driver." I spoke from the backseat as if I was in a limo.

Sam laughed and Dean rolled his eyes before going to the small stuffy office space down the road, 2 excruciating hours later I walked out with a little plastic card. I promptly shoved it as close to Dean's face as possible, he just swatted my arm away.

"Alright pretty boy hand em over!"

Dean stopped at the back of the impala and I literally watched his face contort in pain as he handed me the keys. Sam sat in the backseat, I swiftly ran around front and Dean climbed in next to me. He put on his seatbelt pulling at it to make sure it was tight, I glared at him.

"Seriously Dean? You act like I don't know how to drive."

"Yeah well I seem to remember a certain someone taking out a mailbox the first time I let her drive."

"Dean I was 10! I didn't know… I thought it would be like those racing games at the arcade, besides I could barely see over the dash at that age."

I started the impala and felt the rumble in the steering wheel, a smile spread cheek to cheek across my face as I punched the gas and felt her lurch onto the road. Speed limit? What speed limit? You mean that sign that says "Hey, you should go this fast, but really you should always go at least 5 to 10 mph faster than what I say."

I pulled into the motel parking lot and shut baby off, I turned to dean who had a grip on the oh shit handle that was turning his knuckles white, what a baby. I turned back to look at Sam. He had his eyes closed grabbing his seat belt in front of his chest. Good Lord… it wasn't that bad.

I got out and tossed Dean the keys. "Never again!" he said as if he was out of breath. I laughed and followed my two idiots inside the room.

We packed up and hit the road, we weren't 2o minutes down the road before Sam turned around and handed me a small envelope.

"Happy Birthday Em." I was kinda shocked. We never really did presents.

"Aw, Sam. You didn't have to do this."

"Sure I did. Big 16. Its an important one." I smiled at him.

I opened the envelope, it was an itunes gift card, Sam knew I was wanting some new music on my ipod. I love that kid.

Dean surprised me by speaking up next.

"Here kiddo, I got you something too." He reached back into his duffel and pulled out something boxy wrapped in newspaper.

I shook the heavy thing but it made no sound, "De, what is this?" I laughed a little, curious but also a little unsure of what to expect.

"Open it and find out."

I peeled back the newspaper and revealed a small yellow and black book, when I flipped it over to read the front it said "Driving for Dummies"… I glared up at Dean trying to contain my laughter.

I leaned up to the front seat and kissed Sammy on the cheek, right before I leaned over and flicked Dean on the ear.

"Hey! What the hell… he gets a kiss and I get jipped?" Dean asked in mock horror.

"Thank you… both of you." I said eyeing Dean in the rearview mirror, a smile pulling at my lips.

The drive was long, and it was almost midnight before we were even close. Dean asked Sammy to fill us all in on the details again.

"Alright, so, the names Dad gave us, they're all couples.

"Three different couples. All went missing."

"And they're all from different towns? Different states?" Dean asked him.

"That's right. You got Washington, New York, Colorado. Each couple took a road trip cross-country. None of them arrived at their destination, and none of them were ever heard from again."

"Well, it's a big country. They could've disappeared anywhere." I said.

"Yeah, could've. But each one's route took 'em to the same part of Indiana. Always on the second week of April. One year after another after another."

"This is the second week of April." I said out loud putting the pieces together in my mind.

"Yep."

"So, Dad is sending us to Indiana to go hunting for something before another couple vanishes?"

"Yahtzee. Can you imagine putting together a pattern like this? All the different obits Dad had to go through? The man's a master."

"Hey, take a right up here at the split." Sam said.

"That's the wrong way Sammy."

"We're not going to Indiana." Sam suddenly said.

"We're not?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"No. We're going to California. Dad called from a payphone. Sacramento area code."

"Sam." Dean said pulling off to the side of the road, oh great. Here comes the fight.

"Dean, if this demon killed Mom and Jess, and Dad's closing in, we've gotta be there. We've gotta help."

"Dad doesn't want our help"

"I don't care."

"He's given us an order."

This really seemed to irk a nerve with Sam. He hated following dad's orders.

"I don't care. We don't always have to do what he says."

"Sam, Dad is asking us to work jobs, to save lives, it's important."

"Alright, I understand, believe me, I understand. But I'm talking one week here, man, to get answers. To get revenge."

"Sammy in one week whatevers going on in Indiana will be over… for a whole nother year." I quietly added as nice as possible.

He flung his head around, "So what… you're agreeing with Dean. Again?" He asked accusingly.

"Hey don't jump her ass because she's got her head on straight!" Dean quickly defended me.

Sam sighed and looked forward shaking his head.

"Alright, look, I know how you feel."

"Do you?.." Dean looked a little shocked at Sam's attitude. "How old were you when Mom died? Four? Jess died six months ago. How the hell would you know how I feel?"

"Dad said it wasn't safe. For any of us. I mean, he obviously knows something that we don't, so if he says to stay away, we stay away."

"I don't understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it's like you don't even question him!"

"Yeah, it's called being a good son!" This must have drawn the line, Sam jumped out of the car, opening the trunk and grabbing his duffel.

What the hell is he doing… he isn't leaving is he? I jumped out behind Dean.

"You're a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. Don't care what anybody thinks." Dean started getting angry.

"That's what you really think?" Sam turned getting closer to his face.

"Yes, it is."

"Stop it… both of you!" I tried to intervene but it went unnoticed.

"Well, then this selfish bastard is going to California." Sam said set in stone. Oh no… not again.

"Come on, you're not serious." Dean scoffed.

"I am serious." Sam said starting to walk off.

"Sammy wait please don't leave!" I said running over to him.

I grabbed his arm but he yanked it away, he turned to see the shocked and hurt look on my face.

Suddenly he felt guilty, "I'm sorry Em. I gotta do this…" I just stood there, willing him to change his mind. I threw puppy dog eyes at him.

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Come with me… we'll find dad. We'll knock out this demon."

I looked back at Dean who looked as shocked as I felt by Sam's question.

He then looked to me, waiting for me to answer, almost as if he was afraid of it. I turned back to Sam.

"I can't Sammy…. You know that."

Sam looked down. "Yeah… Okay Em. I'll see you later."

"Sam… don't.." I begged one more time. He ignored it.

"It's the middle of the night! Hey, I'm taking off, I will leave your ass, you hear me?" Dean yelle d after him.

"That's what I want you to do." Sam yelled turning around one last time.

I walked back to Dean, standing in front of him with my arms crossed.

"Emi-" he tried but I quickly stopped him.

"You happy now Dean?! Was this what you fucking wanted. All the fighting and bitching… you saw what happened last time, now here we are again. Watching him walk off…." I shook my head and got in the impala. Slamming the door behind me.

Dean stood there on the road for a minute before climbing back in, he sighed looking at me. I had tears streaming down my face, I wanted so badly to blame this on him, but I knew it wasn't his fault. I shouldn't have yelled at him.

"Come here kiddo." I slid over and buried my face into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry De… its not your fault. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it" I cried to him.

Dammit what is with all this crying lately.

"Shhh… Its okay kiddo. I know."

I sucked it up and stayed as close to Dean as I could without being in the way of him driving. I dozed off and was suddenly being shook by Dean.

"Hey… Kiddo. Come on we're here."

"Mmmm.. no. 5 more minutes… " I groaned.

"Emily get up." Dean chuckled.

"Nooooo….. lets take a nap first." I pleaded with my baby voice.

"Come on Em, you've been out for 5 hours. Get up."

I opened my eyes and glared them at him. Pulling myself up and adjusting my hair in the mirror.

"You know normal people consider 8 hours a full nights rest… not 4." I said grumpy.

Dean laughed again, "Well how about I buy you breakfast to make up for it. Looks like this café might have some pancakes." He said taunting me with the food he knows I love.

"…. Only if they have the good syrup. None of that fruity shit." I said trying to pretend to still be grumpy.

We got out of the car and walked into "Scotty's Café."

"Let me guess, you must be scotty." Dean said pointing to the sign up front.

"Yep." He said.

"Hi, my name's John Bonham. This is my sister Emily." Seriously De?

"Isn't that the drummer for Led Zeppelin?" Scotty asked suspiciously. Uh oh. Busted. I don't think anyone's ever caught Dean like that.

"Wow. Good. Classic rock fan." Dean said clearly shocked.

"What can I do for you, John?"

"Id like pancakes." I said with a smile.

He grinned at me and wrote it down.

"I was wondering if, uh, you'd seen these people by chance." Dean asked handing him the flyers of the most recent couple.

"Nope. Who are they?"

"Friends of mine. They went missing about a year ago. They passed through somewhere around here, and I've already asked around Scottsburg and Salem—"

"Sorry. We don't get many strangers around here." Scotty said with a slight attitude.

"Scotty, you've got a smile that lights up a room, anybody ever tell you that? … Nevermind" Dean ordered his food and we enjoyed our breakfast. Oh how I love pancackes.

Next we walked over to the general store.

"You sure they didn't stop for gas or something?" Dean asked the older man named Harley.

"Nope, don't remember 'em. You said they were friends of yours?"

"That's right."

"Did the guy have a tattoo?" Asked a cute woman walking down the stairs.

"Yes, he did" Dean said obviously checking her out.

"You remember? They were just married." She said pointing it out to Harley.

"You're right. They did stop for gas. Weren't here more than ten minutes." Well he sure changed his story fast. Weird?

"You remember anything else?" I asked, trying to hide my tone. This guy was totally lying to us.

"I told 'em how to get back to the Interstate. They left town."

"Could you point me in that same direction?"

"Sure."

Me and Dean started down the road to the highway, passing by a beautiful apple orchard.

"I think they're lying Dean."

"Yeahh. I know. I saw it too Em."

"I think that Emily girl is cute, what a great name huh?" I asked winking at him.

"Yeah. Kinda puts her off limits… can't be saying that name in bed."

"Ewww! De! I did not need to know that…" I gagged. Dean found it amusing.

Suddenly we heard some noise coming out of the backseat. Is that the EMF meter. I reached back and pulled it out of Dean's bag. It was going crazy.

"Dean pull over."

We got out and began walking through the orchard.

"Ahh!" I squealed as I turned a corner and caught glimpse of the creepiest scare crow I've ever seen in my entire life.

"Emily? You okay?!" Dean came running over to me.

"Yeah yeah I'm fine, just spooked myself. Check this guy out." I said pointing to the terrifying thing.

"Dude… you are fugly." Dean said making a face similar to mine. He grabbed a ladder and climbed up the tall pole he was sitting on to get a better look.

"Hey Em. What did that guy's tattoo look like again?" I handed him they flyer and he held it up against the scarecrows arm. Oh eww…..

"Dean that is nasty! Get away from it!" He climbed back down and we drove into town again looking to press some more info out of the locals.

"You're back." Said the other Emily as we pulled up.

"Never left." Dean smiled.

"Still looking for your friends?"

Dean nodded, "You mind fillin' her up there, Emily? …So, you grew up here?"

"I came here when I was thirteen. I lost my parents. Car accident. My aunt and uncle took me in."

"They're nice people."

"Everybody's nice here."

"So, what, it's the, uh, perfect little town?"

"Well, you know, it's the boonies. But I love it. I mean, the towns around us, people are losing their homes, their farms. But here, it's almost like we're blessed."

"Hey, you been out to the orchard? You seen that scarecrow?" I asked sounding creeped out.

Emily laughed, "Yeah, it creeps me out too."

"Whose is it?"

"I don't know. It's just always been there."

"That your aunt and uncle's?" Dean asked gesturing to a red van that we didn't see earlier today.

"Customer. Had some car troubles."

"It's not a couple, is it? A guy and a girl?"

"Mmhmm."

Me and Dean gave each other a knowing look. We quickly walked back to the café and sat down across from the only couple in the place.

Scotty walked over to them with two plates of apple pie, damn it looked good.

"We're famous for our apples. So, you gotta try this pie." He said to them.

"Oh, no. We couldn't put you out for that.." said the woman.

"It's on the house." Scotty said turning to walk away and catching sight of us.

"Oh, hey, Scotty. Can I get a coffee, black?" He looked annoyed but left to get it.

"Oh, and some of that pie, too, while you're at it." I hollered after him. I don't remember getting any free pie with my breakfast this morning.

"How ya doing?" Dean asked turning to the couple.

They waved, "Passing through?" I asked them.

"Road trip."

"Hm. Yeah, us too." Dean added.

"I'm sure these people want to eat in peace." Scotty said walking over with Dean's coffee… hey. Where's my pie?

"Just a little friendly conversation." Dean replied letting him know its time to back off.

"So, what brings you to town?" I asked them again.

"We just stopped for gas. And, uh, the guy at the gas station saved our lives."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah, one of our brake lines was leaking. We had no idea. He was fixing it for us."

"Nice people."

"Yeah."

"So, how long till you're up and runnin'?" Dean asked them sipping his coffee.

"Sundown."

" fix a brake line? I mean, you know, I know a thing or two about cars. I could probably have you up and running in about an hour. I wouldn't charge you anything. "

"You know, thanks a lot, but I think we'd rather have a mechanic do it."

"Sure. I know…You know, it's just that these roads. They're not real safe at night."

"I'm sorry?"

"I know it sounds strange, but, uh—you might be in danger." Dean added... well this isn't going well.

"Look, we're trying to eat. Okay?" the guy snapped.

"I'm sorry… my brother just worries. We're here looking for our friends. They passed through town, and there have been some disappearances out on the highway." I tried to help the situation, but didn't even notice the sheriff and scotty walking up behind us.

"Thanks for coming, Sheriff." I head Scotty mouth. The sheriff approached Dean.

"I'd like a word, please."

"Come on. I'm having a bad day already."

"You know what would make it worse?"

The sheriff escorted us out and followed us till we were past the county line.

We waited an hour before driving back and stopping at the orchard, where we found the familiar red van- empty. We grabbed our guns and took off into the orchard, getting there just in time to realize the creepy bastard climbed off his pole and when we heard the screams we thought we were too late.

Luckily the frightened couple ran right into us and we were able to get them out for the night. Now we're sitting in a room contemplating our plan for tomorrow… I decided now is probably the best time to push Dean a little, he looked at his phone once every few minutes for the last couple of hours.

"Call him Dean."

"What?" He asked as if I hadn't noticed what he'd been doing.

"Dean. Stop being so damn stubborn and call him."

"No."

"Fine…" I grabbed Deans phone and had hit call before he could snatch it away. It rang twice.

"Dean?" Sam said.

"Hey Sammy, its Em. You okay?"

"Yeah Em I'm good, hey listen I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't take shit out on you like that."

"Its okay Sammy…" Dean was watching me carefully.

"Hey uh Dean wants to talk to you.." I shoved the phone at Dean and he started to whisper yell.

"No! Emily! You called him not me!"

"Take the damn phone Dean!" he finally did. I smirked at him, watching him do his best to apologize without having to actually say the words sorry… I walked out so they could talk in private.

The next morning we left and went to the local college to dig up some information on pagan gods. Apparently that's what Dean and Sam think we're dealing with. It makes sense.

"It's not every day I get a research question on Pagan ideology." The professor confessed to us.

"Yeah, well, call it a hobby." Dean lied.

"But you said you were interested in local lore?"

"Mmhmm."

"I'm afraid Indiana isn't really known for its Pagan worship."

"Well, what if it was imported? You know, like the Pilgrims brought their religion over. Wasn't a lot of this area settled by immigrants?" I asked him.

"Well, yeah."

"Like that town near here, Burkitsville. Where are their ancestors from?"

"Uh, northern Europe, I believe, Scandinavia."

"What could you tell me about those Pagan gods?" Dean asked.

"Well, there are hundreds of Norse gods and goddesses."

"I'm actually looking for one. Might live in an orchard."

"Woods god, hm? Well, let's see." The professor flipped through a book in front of us.

"Wait, wait, wait. What's that one?"

"Oh, that's not a woods god, per se."

"The V-Vanir? The Vanir were Norse gods of protection and prosperity, keeping the local settlements safe from harm. Some villages built effigies of the Vanir in their fields. Other villages practiced human sacrifice. One male, and one female. Kind of looks like a scarecrow, huh?" Dean asked more to me then the professor.

"I suppose."

"This particular Vanir that's energy sprung from the sacred tree?"

"Well, Pagans believed all sorts of things were infused with magic."

"So what would happen if the sacred tree was torched? You think it'd kill the god?"

"Son, these are just legends we're discussing."

"Right yeah, I uh, Just wanna make sure that Emily here gets an A on her creative writing essay… Thanks for your help!"

"No problem"

We went to open the door and leave. Suddenly the sherrif was there and knocked out Dean with the butt of his gun. OH shit. I swung and broke his nose, but before I could reach for my gun the professor wacked me on the back of the head with a thick ass book.

When my eyes finally opened again it was pitch black.

"Hello? Dean?"

"Emily… you good kiddo?"

"Yeah. Sorry motherfucker wacked me in the back of the head, I think its bleeding De." I could feel something wet on the back of my neck. I just assumed it was blood.

"You feeling dizzy?"

"No. I don't think so."

"Okay good.." I could hear him struggle against whatever he was tied to. Suddenly light filled the dark area and I realized we were in a basement, or cellar maybe?

"Please.. Uncle Harley don't do this! Aunt Stacey?" We heard Emily being brought down the stairs.

"Why are you doing this to us?" She cried.

"Its for the common good Emily. Please understand… I'm so sorry it had to be you."

"Wait no just use me!" I yelled out to them.

"What?" They asked.

"Emily stop talking." Dean warned but I wasn't listening.

"You need a guy and a girl right… you already have one! Just use us… let her go."

Stacey laughed, "Silly girl. You're not of age, plus you're related. We aren't sure that's even allowed. We just figured that since we've been so late with our sacrifice this year we'll throw you in as a virgin sacrifice to make up for making him wait so long."

"You people are some kind of sick." Dean hissed at them.

"Its… regrettable. But necessary. Please try to understand…" Harley spoke as they walked out the door.

It was just the 3 of us now.

"Well Dean… guess you got your wish. I'm dying a virgin."

"Seriously Em? So not the time…"

"If we survive this I'm going to find a man and make sure I'll never be eligible for the virgin sacrifice again."

"Emily dammit shut up!"

"What?! Its to protect me! I wouldn't be on death row right now if you didn't scare off every guy that looks at me."

"I don't understand. They're gonna kill us?" The other Emily asked interrupting our argument.

"Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier, I guess? You really didn't know anything about this, did you?"

"About what? The scarecrow god? I can't believe this."

"Well, you better start believing, cause I'm gonna need your help. Come untie me and Em."

"Okay." She got us free quickly.

"Now, we can destroy the scarecrow, but we gotta find the tree."

"What tree?"

"Maybe you can help me with that. It would be really old. The locals would treat it with a lot of respect, you know, like it was sacred."

"There was this one apple tree. The immigrants brought it over with them. They call it the First Tree."

"Is it in the orchard?"

"Yeah, but I don't know where."

Suddenly the cellar door opened again, there stood some of our favorite town members, armed and ready.

"It's time." Stacey told us.

They walked us into the orchard and tied Dean and Emily up side by side, they put me on the other side of them so we couldn't see each other, but I could still hear them. They secured our ropes and walked away.

"I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!" Dean screamed to them.

"So, what's the plan?" Emily asked him.

"I'm workin' on it."

I scoffed… that meant he had no clue.

What felt like hours later we were still strapped to trees, and it was getting dark.

"So uhh. How's the plan coming Dean?" I hollered over at them.

"I'm working on it." He tried to defend.

"Yeah well I'm just dying over here… take your time!"

Suddenly there was noise… someone walking towards us.

"Oh god…. Dean!"

"Emily! What? What is it?"

"Dean its coming! Dean I cant.. I can't get out.. " I frantically continued to pull at my ropes, tearing up the skin on my wrists.

"Hey you bastard you come over here!" I heard Dean try and get it's attention.

But it was no use, I could see the figure coming towards me, the steps getting louder and louder, I knew I wasn't getting down. So I just closed my eyes and turned away as I saw it come out from behind the trees.

"Emily?" I heard a familiar voice say.

"Sammy? Oh thank God! Sammy please get me down!" He ran over and untied me quickly. When he finished I jumped on him and he barely was able to catch me. I squeezed him so hard.

"Em.. Emily its okay you're okay." He said stroking my hair and rubbing my back. I so thought I was gonna be dead. That was it. I was dead. I never wanted to let him go.

"Sam? Is that you?" Dean called from the other side… but I wasn't releasing my grip on him.

"Yeah. Its me… hold on." He said trying to get me to let go.

"Emily.. its okay, come on we gotta get Dean." He was finally able to pull me down, he grabbed my hand and we went over to Dean and the other Emily.

"Oh! Oh, I take everything back I said. I'm so happy to see you. Come on. How'd you get here?" Dean asked him.

"I, uh—I stole a car." Sam said smiling.

"Haha! That's my boy! And keep an eye on that scarecrow. He could come alive any minute."

"What scarecrow?" We all looked over… oh no… He's gone.

We took off running.

"Alright, now, this sacred tree you're talking about—"

"It's the source of its power."

"So let's find it and burn it."

"Nah, in the morning. Let's just shag ass before Leather Face catches up."

But we ran straight into the sheriff and scotty, oh shit.

"This way" Dean called, we followed but were quickly cut off by Harley and Stacey.

"Please. Let us go." The other Emily cried.

"It'll be over quickly, I promise."

"Please."

"Emily, you have to let him take you. You have to-" he was suddenly cut off when a blade came through his body from the back to the front, hooking him. Stacey screamed but was quickly taken as well. The towns people scattered and Emily cried into Dean, listening to her aunt scream as they were dragged away by the scarecrow.

We hauled ass out of there and went back this morning to burn it. Emily went with us and we dropped her off at the bus station.

"Think she's gonna be alright?" Sam asked.

"I hope so." I replied.

"And the rest of the townspeople, they'll just get away with it?"

"Well, what'll happen to the town will have to be punishment enough." Dean added before asking Sam another question, "So can I drop you off somewhere?"

"No, I think you're stuck with me." Sam looked up to us and I grinned wide.

"What made you change your mind?" Dean asked him.

"I didn't. I still wanna find Dad. And you're still a pain in the ass."

"Amen to that one.." I added earning a shove from Dean.

"But, Jess and Mom—they're both gone. Dad is God knows where. You me and Em. We're all that's left. So, if we're gonna see this through, we're gonna do it together."

"Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful." Dean mocked. Sam just pushed him away laughing.

"You should be kissing my ass, you were dead meat, dude."

"Yeah, right. I had a plan, I'd have gotten out."

"Right." I added.

That night we pulled into a diner to stop and get a bite to eat. There was a table in the back with 4 boys, all in letterman jackets, and the one with the blonde hair had these beautiful green eyes that just wouldn't leave my dark brown ones. Oh. Yes.

"Emily…" Sam snapped me out of my stare.

"Hmm. Yeah What?"

"What do you want to eat, she's been waiting." I suddenly looked up and realized the waitress was there.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. Um. Chicken strips and fries please!"

She walked away and both brother's were staring at me.

"What?" I asked looking between them.

"Whats got you so distracted?" Dean asked. Before he had the chance to look around I quickly jumped up.

"I'm uhh, gonna step outside. Left something in the car." I knew I would have to walk right by blondie to get out, hopefully he'd take the hint.

Just as I stood up and went to walk away Dean grabbed my arm, shit. He noticed them.

"Oh I so don't think so." He said pulling me back down to sit next to him, swinging his arm over my the bench behind my shoulders. Glaring at the table of football players.

"Dean I seem to remember a certain deal we had about me not being eligible for sacrifice again if we survived last night."

"Oh no, hunny that was no deal, that was just you running your mouth. I never agreed. As far as I'm concerned you're still dying a virgin." He grinned to me sarcastically.

I looked to Sam, "What about you? You're gonna allow him to lock me up like Rapunzel or some shit?"

"Oh Emily… as a brother I must say I honestly would have no problem with you dying as a virgin." He said with a smartass smile on his face too. Ughhh. Brothers.

"You two are ridiculous!" I threw a fry at both of them.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's note: So humbled by all the love guys! Thank you so much! I debated on adding this episode because in order to fit in with Emily and her story it was going to have to be an emotional chapter, but I hate to throw too much emotion out too soon in the story. I don't want her to come off as whiny, but with Dean dying you can't expect her to take things lightly. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter! I did enjoy writing it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Emily I'm not gonna repeat myself again. You stay behind me or Sam, you are NOT to take off once we get in here."

"Dean its just a rawhead! I think I can handle it just fine thanks! I probably don't even need you two here right now, I could do this one on my own. So get off my ass and let me be a hunter!" I said before stomping to the trunk of the impala.

Dean scoffed and followed right behind me, "Yeah. Right. You'd get yourself killed is what'd you do. You've been wreckless lately. I don't know what the hell your problem is but you better get that shit in check."

"Sam will you please tell YOUR brother to get off my ass!" I yelled refusing to look at Dean or even acknowledge his presence anymore.

"I'm not getting anywhere near this Emily. You two need to suck it up, we've got a job to do." Sam said flatly before handing us each a taser and walking into the large empty warehouse.

It was pitch black, this place hasn't had any power running to it in years it seems. Suddenly we heard faint wimpers close by, I raised my flashlight and found an old metal filing cabinet. I tapped Sam and pointed it out to him, he nodded and I followed behind him with Dean right behind me.

Sam got closer and closer, giving us a look as if counting to three silently. When he ripped the door open there were cries, two kids were huddled together inside, obviously hiding from the monster.

"Hey hey hey… it's okay. We won't hurt you." Sam quickly dropped his gun and leaned down to comfort them, coaxing them out of the cabinet. We began walking them back to the impala when I heard it. Its coming. I quickly spun around, Dean must have heard it as well.

Before Dean could take lead I quickly spoke up, "Get them out of here, I'm going after it." I began to jog quietly down the hallway, I could hear Dean yelling at me from behind.

"Dammit Emily! NO! Stop!" but I didn't listen. I'm gonna show his ass I'm perfectly capable of handling a monster on my own. I'm 16. Dean was taking down monsters at 16 with no problem.

I crept around the corner to an open room, not sure of where the rawhead went, but I know its back here somewhere.

Suddenly something smacked me from the side sending me into a support beam in the middle of the room. I hit it with a thud and fell to the ground.

"Emily!" Dean yelled for me.

I quickly scrambled and grabbed my taser, taking aim. SHIT! I missed. These are one shot only. The monster turned to Dean and threw him into a puddle, he was laying there watching the monster run at me claws ready, when I met Dean's eyes I realized what he was going to do.

"No Dean don't!" but he fired anyways, stopping the rawhead in its tracks, you could see the electricity roll through not only it but Dean as well. Suddenly it stopped and I jumped to my feet running to Dean.

"Dean! Dean! Wake up Dean!" I cried slapping his face, he was still. I couldn't even tell if he was breathing. I frantically searched for a pulse and found it to be very weak.

"Sam!" I screamed out. "Sam! Please! Help!"

I heard footsteps charging down the hall, when he got to us I was a blubbering mess and Dean was still unconscious- his head on my lap as I sat in the puddle.

"Sam please… he took the shot. It shocked him! He won't wake up!" Sam looked panic but kicked into big brother mode.

"Emily go pull the car around to the closest door. NOW! Go!" Sam said handing me the keys and then lifting Dean. I took off full speed soaking wet and pulled the impala around right next to the door we came in, Sam met me there and laid Dean in the back seat, the two children in the front, and I took my place next to Dean.

I pulled his head into my lap and stroked his hair, begging him to wake up.

"Just hold onto him Emily, we're only 5 minutes away from a hospital." Sam said punching the gas. He knew this was bad… Dean's hurt bad, and it's all my fault. Why did I have to pick another fight, why did I have to get so cocky, why couldn't I just listen to him. I'm so fucking stupid!

I leaned my forehead down on his as the tears rolled down. I kept one hand on each side of his face and began to sing quietly to him….

" _Hey Jude, don't make it bad…Take a sad song and make it better_." I sniffled as my voice broke.

" _Remember to let her into your heart…Then you can start to make it better"_

" _Hey Jude, don't be afraid…You were made to go out and get her.."_ I could barely move the words past the lump in my throat. It was tight and It hurt.

" _The minute you let her under your skin.. Then you begin to make it better_ "

We pulled into the hospital and told the children to go find a nurse to call their families. Sam lifted Dean and we pushed through the ER doors screaming for help. They quickly had Dean on a gurney and wheeled him away from us… away from me. All I could do was watch.

Sam was standing behind me and quickly wrapped both arms around my body as I began to sob, slowly falling to the floor. He held me up and tried to shh my cries but it was a pointless attempt and he knew that.

Its been two hours now that I've sat in this chair and not moved, not talked, not cried, not blinked it felt like. The guilt literally filled every inch of my body, head to toe- making waves in my stomach. Sam had filled out paper after paper, when the cops came to question us I couldn't speak. Sam covered for us. I paid no attention so I couldn't begin to tell you what he said, but I'm sure it was something smart.

Finally a doctor walked over, "Winchester Family?" He asked looking around. For the first time I stood up, Sam right behind me, hands on my shoulders.

"Hey, Doc. Is he..." Sam asked afraid to finish the question. I couldn't breathe waiting for the reply.

"He's resting."

"And?" I quickly asked.

"The electrocution triggered a heart attack. Pretty massive, I'm afraid. His heart...it's damaged." Oh god… no. I did this. My heart felt like an anvil sitting in my chest. It was cracking with every word that fell out of the doctor's mouth.

"How damaged?" Sam asked him.

"We've done all we can. We can try and keep him comfortable at this point. But, I'd give him a couple weeks, at most, maybe a month.

"No, no. There's, there's...gotta be something you can do, some kind of treatment." I quickly said, unable to believe the words coming out of his mouth. No. Dean can't die.

"We can't work miracles. I really am sorry."

"The hell you are!" I yelled at him.

"Emily stop.." Sam warned me, I ripped from his grip and started jogging down the hall to look for Dean.

"Maam wait! He needs to rest!" the doctor called after me. Fuck him. I'm seeing my brother!

When I rounded a corner and spotted his name on the side of the door I stopped, trying to prepare myself to walk in, I wasn't sure what to expect. As I got closer I could hear the noises from the TV but I couldn't really comprehend anything it was saying.

I came to the doorway and froze. Dean…. My Dean… He was so pale. He looked so broken. So weak. What have I done?

The tears in my eyes welled and spilled over slowly one at a time. Dean coughed and you could tell it hurt his whole body, he finally turned his head enough to notice me standing there.

"Dean…" I whispered.

He looked down before looking back up and speaking again, "Come here kiddo, I'm cold." He patted on the bed next to him.

I slowly walked forward, losing my composure with every step. When I finally reached his bed he pushed over to the side and pulled me to lay down against him. I buried my face in his neck and sobbed.

"D-Dean… I-I'm I.. So-o Sorr-ry" the words were barely comprehensible.

"Emily hunny its not your fault. Shit happens on this job." He tried to comfort me but I knew better.

"N-No… I-I-I should ha-have listen-ed-ed"

"Shhh.. calm down baby… you gotta breathe." He was right, I could feel my chest tightening, I wasn't getting enough air in, the sobs preventing me from taking in a deep enough breath. But I didn't care. I didn't deserve to breathe. Look what I've done... to Dean of all people.

It seemed like we layed there for several minutes, me soaking the top of his shirt and his cheek when he layed his head against mine. He was being too nice to me… he should be angry. He should kick me out. He should hate me. I hate me. But instead he rocked me back and forth… whispering to me to breathe. I was finally calming down, but couldn't pull myself away from his neck. I couldn't look at him. He rubbed my arm up and down with the tips of his fingers, and then I heard another voice. Sam… no telling how long he's been standing there.

"I talked to your doctor."

"Have you ever actually watched daytime TV? It's terrible."

Sam was silent for a second, I'm sure he was shaking his head at Dean trying to lighten the mood.

"That fabric softener teddy bear. Oh, I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down."

"Dean." Sam said… Dean quickly turned off the TV.

"Yeah. All right, well, looks like you two are gonna leave town without me." The words made me grip onto him even tighter, he squeezed me back subtly.

"What are you talking about? I'm not gonna leave you here."

"Hey, you better take care of that car. Or, I swear, I'll haunt your ass."

"I don't think that's funny." Me either.

"Oh, come on, it's a little funny." Dean tried. No. Its not actually.

Sam was silent again, I couldn't imagine the look on his face. I couldn't stand to look at him either. Knowing I was causing him pain by putting Dean here.

"Look, Sammy, what can I say, man, it's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story."

"Don't talk like that, alright? We still have options."

"What options? Yeah, burial or cremation. And I know it's not easy. But I'm gonna die. And you can't stop it."

"Dean… stop.." I pleaded in a whisper. Starting to feel the tears come back.

"Watch me." Sam said, then I heard heavy footsteps getting quieter and quieter as he walked away.

The nurse came to check on Dean, but he didn't move me. He just held me there, letting her work around us as she checked the wires connected to his chest.

After a while I felt Dean drift off to sleep. I was absent mindedly drawing circles on the back of the hand he had laying on his stomach. Humming Hey Jude, I'm not sure why. But It seemed fitting at the time. Dean said Mom would sing it when he was sick… well I don't think you get much sicker than this. Plus it distracted me from the guilt I felt.

"Are you singing to me?" he suddenly asked so low It was hardly a whisper.

"I'm sorry… I thought you were asleep."

"Its okay. I don't mind…. My arm is falling asleep though." He said with a chuckle. I lifted off of it and moved to sit cross legged at the end of his bed, giving him room to lay down at the top of the bed and take the pressure off his shoulder that he'd been laying on since I came in.

I stared down at the blue heavy blanket that sat on top his feet in my lap.

"Emily… look at me." Dean asked.

"I can't…"

"Em. This wasn't your fault." I flinched at the words. I knew he was lying.

"Dean.. I"… I swallowed hard to try to get words up around the lump. "I should have listened to you. I should have fell back and let you take lead… I missed the shot." I finally looked up to him again. "Dean this is all my fault. I'm so so sorry."

"Emily stop this. You can't do that to yourself. You and I both know you could have just as easily taken that bitch down on your own. You're a good hunter, a great hunter! It was just a bad luck of the draw. It was gonna be me or you, and I couldn't live with knowing I couldn't save you. You know that Emily." He told me without a trace of doubt on his face.

I stayed silent unsure of what to say. No matter what he said I would always blame myself for this, and he knew that.

"Kiddo…. I think we need to tell Sam." What? My eyes flew to him in confusion.

"What are you talking about?"

"Emily you need to tell him what happened. He needs to know. I'm not gonna be here to help calm you down anymore. Sam needs to learn how. I can't leave you to fight that alone, you should tell him. Let him help you."

I looked at him like he suddenly grew a third eye or something…"No.. Dean. No." I shook my head getting off the bed and pacing at the end of it. I can't. I can't live without Dean. I've just gotta find a way to save him. I… I gotta save him. I have to fix this.

"Em."

"No! Dean! No! Okay I'm not gonna let you die… and we aren't telling Sam. So don't even think about it. You don't need to show him anything, because your gonna be there to handle it yourself. You and me remember? You promised!" I got louder as I went and could feel a fresh tear fall.

Dean just watched me, his expression was killing me. He looked so… hurt. I can't.. I need to leave. I gotta get out of here and find a way to save him. I looked to my feet.

"I'm uh.. I'm gonna go and catch up to Sam. He's gonna need help." I looked up at him. "I put you here Dean.." He looked like was about to argue, I put up a hand to stop him. "Regardless of whatever you're fixing to say- I know better. It was my fault. I made poor decisions and I got you hurt. I'm going to fix it De. I'm gonna fix you okay? Just like you always fix me."

He hung his head biting at his lip, he looked back up to me. "Okay kiddo…"

I walked over and hugged him to me tightly. He returned it. When he let go I kissed his cheek and turned to leave. I got to the lobby and called Sam to pick me up, he wasn't far away thankfully.

Its been hours and hours. So far we have found NOTHING.

"Sam… I'm gonna get some air."

"Okay kiddo, don't go far." Normally I would use that to start some argument about not being a little kid anymore, but I know Sam wanted to keep me close with the Dean thing going on.

"I won't. Promise" I gave him a small smile before walking out.

When I went out the door the cool air brushed against my cheeks and it felt nice, I breathed it in deeply, holding it and then breathing it out through pursed lips. I started to walk. I'm not sure where I was going, I just needed to move, to do something. I found a quiet spot in an empty field not far from the motel. I perched myself on top of the wooden fence surrounding it.

I pulled out my phone and dialed the one person who I really needed… 4 rings and I get his voicemail. "Daddy…." Just saying his name was causing the lump to grow and my voice to crack. "Daddy it's Dean. He's hurt real bad… The doctors.. They're not gonna do anything. Daddy I'm trying really hard to fix it… Its all my fault Daddy.." I cried into the recording. "Daddy please come.. We need you, Dean needs you.. I need you Daddy.. I don't know what to do. I have to save him Daddy… please. Help me. I'm so sorry for what I said.. Please just forgive me and come save Dean Daddy… I need him. Please.." I hung up as another wave of sobs took over my body. I'm not sure how I had anything left. I've never cried this much in my whole life. When do the tears finally stop? I'm not used to being so weak, so vulnerable- and I hate it.

An hour later I walked back into the motel room, meeting Sam's eyes. He looked at me with eyes that were so broken, I couldn't stop myself from running into his arms. He sat us down in the chair and pulled me onto his lap sideways. He wrapped his arms around me and we both cried.

"We're gonna save him Em. You'll see… We're gonna save him" He said to reassure himself as much as me.

"Sammy… its all my fault."

"No babygirl… its not.. Its not your fault."

"I can't let him die Sammy… I can't.. I need him" I cried into Sam's chest. Dammit. Again with the crying. Make it stop!

"Shh… Shhhh… I'm not gonna let him die Emily. I promise you."

I slowly shook my head up and down and began to doze off in Sam's arms. I was so exhausted, not just physically but mentally. I felt like I had nothing left in me. I hiccupped from the sobs until I finally drifted against Sam's warm chest.

The next morning a knock at the door startled me awake. Me and Sam were still sitting in the chair, he dozed off with his head layed on top of mine, he better not have drooled in my hair. The knocking came again, harder this time.

"Sammy…" I shook him awake, "the door."

He lifted his head and rubbed his eyes, I slid off his lap and stretched as I walked over to the door.

I swung it open, "Dean? What are you doing here?"

"I checked myself out." He said barely able to hold his own weight up, I quickly ducked under his shoulder to support him and walked him over to sit in the chair me and Sam slept in.

"What, are you crazy?" Sam asked him.

"Well, I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot." Leave it to Dean to find the humor in the situation.

"You know, this whole I-laugh-in-the-face-of-death thing? It's crap. I can see right through it." Sam said to him accusingly.

"Yeah, whatever, dude. Have you even slept? You look worse than me."

"Yes actually, I got a few hours in that chair as a matter of fact. I've been scouring the Internet. Calling every contact in Dad's journal."

"For what?" Dean asked… I scoffed. Well it should be obvious De. Sometimes he's such a man. Oblivious.

"For a way to help you. One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist."

"You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?"

"I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going." Sam said, leaving no room for Dean to disagree.

We loaded up and made the drive in about 8 hours. When we pulled up to a tent church named after a faith healer I watched Dean's face go from annoyed to angry in 0.2 seconds flat. Too bad, he was gonna have to get over it. I'm desperate enough to try anything and everything.

Dean went to get out of the car and struggled.

"I got ya." Sam said coming around to help him.

"I got it." Dean snapped at him, leaning on the car for support as he pushes Sam away.

"Man, you are a lying bastard! Thought you said we were going to see a doctor."

"I believe I said a specialist. Look, Dean, this guy's supposed to be the real deal."

"I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent."

A small elderly woman walked past with an umbrella, "Reverend LeGrange is a great man." She said.

"Yeah, that's nice." Dean said sarcastically.

I walked up and grabbed his hand in mine, "Dean… please. Let us try." I begged him. He nodded and kept walking.

"I have a right to protest. This man is a fraud. And he's milking all these people out of their hard-earned money." An angry man shouted to a cop as we walked past.

"Sir, this is a place of worship. Let's go. Move it." The cop shoed him away.

"I take it he's not part of the flock." I said.

"When people see something they can't explain, there's controversy." Sam explained.

"I mean, come on, Sam, a faith healer?" Dean asked eyeing Sam.

"Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean."

"You know what I've got faith in? Reality. Knowing what's really going on. "

"How can you be a skeptic? With the things we see everyday?" I asked him honestly.

"Exactly. We see them, we know there real."

"But if you know evil's out there, how can you not believe good's out there, too?" I rebuttled without any doubts.

"Because I've seen what evil does to good people."

I just shook my head sadly and kept walking forward, my arm locked into Dean's helping him through the mud that was sticking to our boots.

A pretty woman came up behind us, obviously having heard our conversation.

"Maybe God works in mysterious ways." She offered with a smile as she walked by.

"Maybe he does. I think you just turned me around on the subject." Seriously Dean… Now?

"Yeah, I'm sure." She giggled.

"I'm Dean. This is Sam and Emily."

"Layla. So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?"

"Well, apparently my siblings here believes enough for all of us."

"Come on, Layla. It's about to start." An older woman said as she ushered Layla inside ahead of us.

"Well, I bet you she can work in some mysterious ways."

"Eww. Dean. Don't say stuff like that in a church!" I reprimanded him slightly slapping his arm.

"Yeah, peace, love, and trust all over." Dean mumbled while pointing out the security cameras to us.

"Come on." Sam said leading us to seats right up front much to Dean's dismay.

"Oh, come on, Sam." Dean growled, then he winced as he went to sit down.

"You alright?"

"This is ridiculous… I'm good, dude, get off me!"

"Dean stop being an ass, he's trying to help!" I whisper yelled to him.

"You take the aisle." Sam said shoving past Dean and sitting me in the middle of them, forcing Dean to sit where he could be very easily seen.

Suddenly a blind man walks up on the stage and begins to speak, "Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann, reads me the news. Never seems good, does it? Seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act. But, I say to you, God is watching. God rewards the good, and He punishes the corrupt. It is the Lord who does the healing here friends. The Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts."

"Yeah, and into their wallets." Dean says a little too loud.

"You think so, young man?" Roy says suddenly speaking in our direction. Good job Dean.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"No, no. Don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears." The crowd chuckled and Dean look uncomfortable. I squeezed his hand.

"What's your name, son?"

"Dean."

"Dean. I want-I want you to come up here with me." Suddenly the crowd starts to go crazy, clapping and cheering, shouting Amen.

"No, it's ok." Dean says awkwardly.

"What are you doing?!" I asked forcing him to look at me.

"You've come here to be healed, haven't cha?"

"Well, yeah, but uhh... maybe you should just pick someone else."

"Dean no! Go!" I pleaded him. This may be my own chance to fix this.

"Oh, no. I didn't pick you, Dean, the Lord did." The crowd cheered louder, getting excited.

"That's right! Yeah! Come on!" People around us called out.

"Get up there!" Sam said to him grinning ear to ear.

Dean slowly stood and walked up to the stage… standing in front of Roy looking more uncomfortable then when I bring up sex. Its hard to top that one too.

"You ready?" Roy asks him.

"Look, no disrespect, but ahh, I'm not exactly a believer." Dammit Dean shut up!

"You will be, son. You will be." Roy said with a smile.

"Pray with me, friends." He called out to the crowd. They all lift their hands in the air, Roy does the same before laying a hand on Dean.

Dean almost seems to pull away from his touch but suddenly something begins to happen.

"Alright now. Alright now." Roy says.

Dean's eyes glaze over and he falls to his knees, I panic. "Dean!" I jump to run to him but Sam holds me back.

"Alright, now." Roy says again, before Dean faints and falls to the stage, I broke free of Sam and ran to his side, Sam on my tail. The crowd was cheering, but I was terrified.

"Dean! Dean!" I shook him and tapped his cheeks. Suddenly his eyes open wide and he flys forward gasping for air…

"Say Something!" Sam calls to him.

Dean just stares forward at Roy. Shocked. But I could tell something happened, he was no longer pale. The bags under his eyes vanished. He had strength to hold himself up. He was healed. I knew it. Relief washed through me like a flood after the drought. I welcomed it.

Dean insisted we go directly to the hospital to have tests run on his heart.

"So, you really feel okay?" Sam asks him for the hundredth time, pacing in front of us while I sit next to Dean, my arm locked around his and my head against his shoulder. I know I was being clingy and it was probably annoying but I came so close to losing him. I just wanted him close to me.

"I feel fine, Sam." Dean answered annoyed.

A doctor knocks and enters the room… "Well, according to all your tests there's nothing wrong with your heart. No sign there ever was. Not that a man your age should be having heart trouble, but, still it's strange it does happen."

"What do you mean, strange?"

"Well, just yesterday, a young guy like you, twenty-seven, athletic. Out of nowhere, heart attack."

"Thanks, Doc." I smiled.

" No problem." She walked out.

"That's odd." Dean said looking to me.

"Maybe it's a coincidence. People's hearts give out all the time, man." Sam tried to reason with him.

"No, they don't."

"Look, Dean, do we really have to look this one in the mouth? Why can't we just be thankful that the guy saved your life and move on?"

"Because I can't shake this feeling, that's why."

"What feeling?" I asked him… I can't imagine feeling anything other than relief. I had my Dean back. He was okay. Nothing else in the world mattered to me.

"When I was healed, I just...I felt wrong. I felt cold. And for a second...I saw someone. This, uh, this old man. And I'm telling you guys, it was a spirit."

"But if there was something there, Dean, I think I would've seen it, too. I mean, I've been seeing an awful lot of things lately." Sam argued.

"Well, excuse me, psychic wonder. But you're just gonna need a little faith on this one. Sam, I've been hunting long enough to trust a feeling like this."

Sam sighed… "Yeah, alright. So, what do you wanna do?"

"I want you to go check out the heart attack guy. I'm gonna visit the reverend, I'm guessing the leech on my arm is coming with me." He said eyeing me. I tried to look guilty but I honestly felt no shame. I wasn't letting him out of my sight anytime soon.

When we pulled up to Roy's house I was still unsure of what we were even looking for here. I just sat silently as Roy told us about how his gifts came to be. How they prayed and prayed and God healed him from cancer, but he lost his sight. And then he was suddenly able to heal others. When we made our way out the door we ran into a familiar face. Layla.

"Dean, Emily- hey."

"Hey." Dean replied with a small smile. I simply grinned in her direction.

"How you feeling?"

"I feel good. Cured, I guess. What are you doing here? "

"You know, my mom, she wanted to talk to the reverend." I recognized her mom as the woman from yesterday who ushered her in so quickly.

Sue Ann walks out on the porch.

"Layla?"

"Yes, I'm here again."

"Well, I'm sorry, but Roy is resting. He won't be seeing anyone else right now."

"Sue Ann, please. This is our sixth time, he's got to see us." Layla's mom begged.

"Roy is well aware of Layla's situation. And he very much wants to help just as soon as the Lord allows. Have faith, Mrs. Rourke."

Sue Ann walks inside and you can see the frustration rolling off Layla's mom.

"Why are you still even here? You got what you wanted." She turned to Dean and spat at him.

I Instinctively took a step forward positioning myself in front of him, he seemed shocked at her words.

"Mom. Stop."

"No, Layla, this is too much. We've been to every single service. If Roy would stop choosing these strangers over you. Strangers who don't even believe. I just can't pray any harder."

"I don't necessarily think that's fair of you to lay on my brother, it wasn't his choice." I said growing defensive.

"Emily stop.." Dean laid a hand on my shoulder.. "Layla, what's wrong?"

"I have this thing..."

"It's a brain tumor. It's inoperable. In six months, the doctors say..." Her mom interrupted her, but couldn't finish.

"I'm sorry." Dean said sincerely.

"It's okay." Layla smiled sadly at him.

"No. It isn't." Her mom said glaring at her before turning to Dean again.

"Why do you deserve to live more than my daughter?"

"Okay that's enough lady! You have no idea what my brother sacrifices for other people! He sa-" I said pulling forward from Dean's grip on my shoulder.

"Emily stop!" Dean said grabbing me and pulling me back. "Lets go… Now."

He pushed me back towards the impala. I felt bad for Layla. But her mother had no room to lay that guilt trip down on Dean. She doesn't even understand. Dean saves lives every day. He helps people, he makes the world a better place. Dean matters, how dare she try and belittle him like that.

When we got back to the motel Sam was already there, when we walked inside he looked up. Oh no…. I know that look. This is bad news.

"What'd you find out?" Dean wasted no time asking him.

"I'm sorry." Sam said quietly.

"Sorry about what?"

"Marshall Hall died at 4:17."

Dean froze, "The exact time I was healed."

"Yeah. So, I put together a list of everyone Roy's healed, six people over the past year, and I cross-checked them with the local obits. Every time someone was healed, someone else died. And each time, the victim died of the same symptom LeGrange was healing at the time."

"So Someone's healed of cancer, and then someone else dies of cancer?"

"Somehow. LeGrange...he's trading a life for another." Oh no… Dean is going to blame himself for this.

"Wait, wait, wait. So, Marshall Hall died to save me?"

"Dean, the guy probably would've died anyway. And someone else would've been healed." Sam said visibly upset, he knew exactly where Dean was going as did I.

Dean started to pace, his face getting angry.

"You never should've brought me here."

"Dean, I was just trying to save your life." Sam pleaded almost in tears.

"But, Sam, some guy is dead now because of me!"

"So what!" I suddenly said loudly.

"Excuse me?" Dean asked glaring at me.

"I said so what Dean! You heard Sam! The guy would have died anyways! You know what I don't feel the least bit bad! Dean you were dying! You were already half dead! If I knew the truth I would still drag you out here. People need you Dean! We need you! I needed you! I couldn't let you die!" I screamed at him.

He looked at me with a face full of disappointment. He just shook his head at me… It hurt to watch him. I felt stinging in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I've cried enough to last me a life time this week.

"The thing I don't understand is how is Roy doing it? How's he trading a life for a life?" Sam said bringing the conversation back into focus.

"Oh, he's not doing it. Something else is doing it for him."

"What do you mean?"

"The old man I saw on stage… I didn't wanna believe it, but deep down I knew."

"You knew what? What are you talking about?"

"There's only one thing that can give and take life like that."

Me and Sam looked to each other confused… Dean looked to Sam but wouldn't look at me.

"We're dealing with a reaper."

Dean moved to sit down across from Sam at the table. I didn't figure he wanted me close to him at the moment so I kept my distance and leaned against the wall, just listening.

"You really think it's THE Grim Reaper? Like, angel of death, collect your soul, the whole deal?"

"No, no, no, not THE reaper, A reaper. There's reaper law in pretty much every culture on earth, it goes by 100 different names, it's possible that there's more than one of them."

"But you said you saw a dude in a suit."

"What, you think he shoulda been working the whole black robe thing?...You said it yourself that the clock stopped right? Reapers stop time. And you can only see 'em when they're coming at you which is why I could see it and you couldn't."

"Maybe."

"There's nothing else it could be Sam. The question is how is Roy controlling the damn thing?"

"That cross."

"What?"

"There was this cross, I noticed it in the church and I knew I had seen it before."

"Here." Sam said showing him a card.

"A Tarot?"

"It makes sense. A tarot dates back to the early christian era right, when some priests were still using magic? And a few of them veered into the dark stuff? Necromancy and how to push death away, how to cause it?"

"So Roy's using black magic to bind the reaper?"

"If he is he's riding the whirlwind. It's like putting a dog leash on a great white."

"Ok then we stop Roy."

"How?"

"You know how."

"Wait, what the hell are you talking about Dean, we can't kill Roy."

"Sam the guys playing God, he's deciding who lives and who dies. That's a monster in my book."

"No. We're not going to kill a human being Dean. We do that we're no better than he is."

"Ok, we cant kill Roy, we can't kill death. Any bright ideas college boy?"

"Ok. uh...If Roy's using some kind of black spell on the reaper, we gotta...figure out what it is. And how to break it."

"Okay well lets go, I think his next service starts in like 15 minutes." The boys got up and walked towards the door. I motioned to get my jacket, but was stopped by Dean's voice.

"Emily you're staying here." He said still not willing to look at me.

"Dea-"

"End of discussion. Maybe you can rethink what it is we do this job for- Who we do this job for. You oughta have plenty of time to think about it." Dean said walking out, still refusing to look at me.

Sam looked to me with pity before he left closing the door behind him.

I don't get it. Why is this a bad thing?! Someone died. Yes. That sucks, its tragic, but it happens every day! Dean taught me early on that we can't save everyone and civilians die! Dean needed to be saved. He can save more people if he's alive! He can save me… Maybe I am being a little selfish here, but sometimes that's what you do for family. You do the hard things. You always put family first. Dean taught me that too, and now he wants me to feel guilty for following it?

I laid on the bed cranking my iPod. I dozed off but was woken up as I heard footsteps coming in through the door, I would have instinctively gone for my gun but I recognized them, my brothers were heavy footed and walked with a purpose generally.

"Emily. Food." Dean said walking in and tossing the bag down on the table.

"Not hungry…" I said waiting for him to look at me. He wouldn't.

"Too bad. Get up and eat. Now." Right. Cause that attitude makes me wanna jump up and stuff my face. Regardless, I shuffled to the table and picked at my food. Dean sat on his bed. Cleaning weapons.

"So Roy really believes." Sam asked him.

"I don't think he has any idea what his wife's doing."

"Well, I found this… Hidden in their library. It's ancient. Written by a priest who went dark side. There's a binding spell in here for trapping a reaper."

"Must be a hell of a spell."

"Yeah. You gotta build a black alter with seriously dark stuff. Bones, human blood. To cross a line like that, a preachers wife? Black magic. Murder. Evil."

"Desperate. Her husband was dying, she didn't have anything to save him. She was using the binding spell to keep the reaper away from Roy." I tossed in. Sam looked to me, but still not Dean.

"Cheating death, literally." Sam stated.

"Yeah but Roy's alive, so why is she still using the spell?" Dean asked only to Sam. Okay… this shit is getting old fast.

"Right. To force the reaper to kill people she thinks are immoral."

"May God save us from half the people who think they're doing God's work."

"We gotta break that binding spell Dean."

"You know Sue Ann had a coptic cross like this. When she dropped it the reaper backed off."

"So you think we gotta find the cross or destroy the alter?"

"Maybe both. Whatever we do we better do it soon, or he's healing Layla tonight."

I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sidelined for that adventure as well, so I threw the food in the trash, I grabbed my clothes from the duffel bag and walked into the bathroom- locking the door behind me before turning on the shower. I couldn't stand hearing Dean make me stay again, so I'll just be busy until they have to leave. Easier for everyone, right?

(DEAN'S POV)

"Dean… you can't avoid her forever. She was only doing this to help you. She didn't even find the guy. I did. Why are you taking this out on her?" Sam asked me as soon as he heard the shower start.

"Drop it Sam."

"No. Dean that girl in there was in pieces when she thought she was going to lose you. I've never seen her like that, she cried for hours."

"Yes Sam I'm well fucking aware."

"Well then quit being such an ass to her! She thought she got you killed man! Dean she would have never forgiven herself if you died! She didn't mean what she said… she says shit all the time when she gets pissy! Why do you choose now to take it to heart?"

"Sam. I raised her… I raised her better than that… To hear her say that she would kill an innocent without hesitation… how do you want me to take that? You want me to be okay with it?!"

"No Dean… That's not what I'm saying. Just… what if the situation was reversed. What if she was dying and you felt like it was all your fault. Would you hesitate to cross ANY line to save her?"

"Its not the same thing."

"The hell it isn't! Dean. I'm warning you now. If you don't fix this its only going to get worse over time. Trust me… I'm talking from experience here."

Sam looked at me with puppy dog eyes, his weren't near as convincing as Emily's, but damn they make me feel bad- not that I would ever admit that out loud.

How could she say something like that… How could she do something like that. I can't imagine… my sweet sister… the kind who's heart breaks when we pass a dead animal, could she actually kill an innocent person? The thought made me sick to my stomach. Sometimes I hate watching her live this life. She's seen things… done things… I wish she never had to do. I just… I feel like I've let her down. I let this job get to her, its made her too hard. I put her through too much. How can I look at her again, knowing I stood by and watched this job steal her innocence piece by piece. It makes me sick.

(EMILY'S POV)

When I got out of the shower the boys were long gone. I wonder how long Dean is going to drag this out… we've fought before. Usually we're over it after a few days. But… this time it felt different. I can't get the look of disappointment on his face out of my mind. It's going to make sleeping tonight difficult.

The shift of weight on the bed woke me up, I hoped it would be Dean. Ready to make nice… but it was Sam. I could tell because he laid on top of the sheet that I lay under, Dean usually pushes it over to me so he doesn't pull it off of me. Sam just lays on top of it, not to be mean, just because he doesn't realize. I'm happy they both made it back in one piece, but It just doesn't feel like a time to celebrate. I watched Dean climb into his bed next to ours, facing away from me the whole time. I stared at him until he fell asleep.

I gave up hope that we would fix this before the night was over and turned over to curl into Sam's side. At least he wasn't mad at me too. If there was one thing Winchesters were good at it was being angry… after all we learnt from the best.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: Thanks for following and supporting!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

I sat in the backseat of the impala watching Dean's heart break for the second time. He was saying goodbye to Cassie. He loved her… I knew back then he did, even if I was only 13. She called us last week, and of course Dean came running. Now here we are… I'll sit in this car for the second time as we leave this town, watching Dean try and pretend like he's un-phased by it.

What's different this time is that Dean still hasn't looked me in the eye once since last week. Instead of climbing up front and sitting next to him, being there for him- I'm sitting in the back avoiding him.

I thought we would just get past this. That he would be mad for a day or so and then he would get over it. But he won't talk to me about it. He won't look me in the eye. I was devastated the first couple of days, begging him to talk to me about it. But, now I've realized that there is just no talking to him right now. Not till he's ready. So I've gone mute. Yeah, okay well maybe not mute. I talk to Sammy. He keeps trying to tell me its okay, that Dean is just in his head, but the truth is I let him down. First I almost killed him, and then I happily let another man take his place. An innocent man. No wonder Dean couldn't look at me.

Another Diner… another motel room… another night I shared a bed with Sam instead of Dean. Another day of radio silence. Another sleepless night. I get up and cake on concealer to cover the bags. I don't want Dean to see them. I don't want to make matters worse.

(DEAN'S POV)

It feels like every hour I'm looking at the clock. Dozing on and off, not really sleeping. I want to talk to Emily. But I also don't. I don't know what to say. The longer I wait the harder it gets. We don't look at each other. At first she begged me to talk to her, then she stopped. Stopped trying. Stopped looking at me.

I don't think she sleeps much. I hear her get up every morning before Sam and me, but then she goes back to bed pretending to be asleep.

I'm so angry with myself for letting it get this far, but I'm too damn stubborn to put it to an end.

It wasn't long before Emily got up and walked into the bathroom, her make up bag in her hand. I can see the bags. She think's she's hiding them but I've stared at the face my whole life. I can tell.

Suddenly Sam flew up out of the bed, causing me to jump up as well. What the hell?

"Dean! Dean we gotta go… we gotta go right now!"

"What the hell are you talking about man, it's only like 4 in the morning."

"I'm serious Dean! Get up!"

He ran over and banged on the bathroom door to get Emily. She looked at him scared, demanding to know what was going on. I wanted to reassure her it was okay. But instead I just started packing my bag.

(EMILY'S POV)

We were in the impala flying down the road. It was raining and pitch black outside. Sam was frantic in the front seat and Dean was giving him the typical speech.

"McReady. Detective McReady. Badge number 158. I've got a signal 480 in progress, I need the registered owner of a two door sedan, Michigan licence plate Mary-Frank-six-zero-three-seven. Yeah ok, just hurry." Sam said into the phone.

"Sammy relax. I'm sure it's just a nightmare."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"I mean it. Ya know, a normal, everyday, naked-in-class, nightmare. This licence plate, it won't check out. You'll see."

"It felt different Dean. Real. Like when I dreamt about our old house. And Jessica."

"Yeah, that makes sense. You're dreaming about our house, your girlfriend. This guy in your dream, you ever seen him before?"

"No."

"No. Exactly. Why would you have premonitions about some random dude in Michigan."

"I don't know."

"Me neither."

"Yes I'm here." Sam said into the phone.

"Jim Miller. Saginaw, Michigan. You have a street address? Got it. Thanks."

Sam sighed heavily before turning to Dean. "Checks out. How far are we?"

"From Saginaw? Couple of hours."

"Drive faster." Sam said obviously stressing. I reached up and put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed. He squeezed back and held onto it. I leaned my head forward on the seat behind him and dozed off. It was too much to try and figure out right now. We just needed to get there and see what we were really dealing with right now.

The impala came to a stop and we all climbed out walking up to a scene. Police cars, yellow tape, a gathering crowd at the edge of the yard. Whatever happened…. We were too late.

"What happened?" Dean asked a woman in the crowd.

"Suicide." She responded.

"Did you know them?" Sam asked.

"Saw him in every Sunday at St Augustines. He always seems...seemed, so normal. I guess you never know what's going on behind closed doors."

"Guess not."

"How did...uhh. How are they saying it happened?" I asked her.

"I heard they found him in the garage, locked inside his car with the engine running."

"Do you know about what time they found him?" Sam quickly asked.

"Oh it just happened about an hour or two ago. His poor family. I can't even imagine what they're going through."

We looked up to see a woman crying, on the shoulder of what I assume is her son. They look devastated. I look up to Sam. He looks even worse. He suddenly turned and took off, Dean and I close behind him.

"Sam we got here as fast we we could." I tried telling him.

"Not fast enough. It doesn't make any sense man. Why would I even have these premonitions if there wasn't a chance I could stop them from happening?"

"I dunno."

"So what do you think killed him?" Sam asked more to Dean then me.

"Maybe the guy just killed himself? Maybe there's nothing supernatural going on at all."

"I'm telling you, I watched it happen. He was murdered by something Dean. I watched it trap him in the garage."

"What was it, a spirit, poltergeist, what?"

"I don't know what it was. I don't know why I'm having these dreams, I don't know what the hell is happening Dean!" Sam yelled getting obviously worked up… I hated seeing him like this. I hated me and Dean being awkward, it wasn't helping the situation. I know it put Sam in the middle of us.

Dean and I both just stare at Sam without a response.

"What?!"

"Nothing. I'm just, I'm worried about you man." Dean finally says.

"Well, don't look at me like that!"

"I'm not looking at you like anything."

"Though I gotta say, you do look like crap." I rolled my eyes. Wow, could you have picked a worse time to say some shit like that.

"Nice. Thanks." Sam said throwing his hands up. I reached out and grabbed his sleeve, going to stand closer to him. My arm around his waist.

"Come on, lets just pick this up in the morning. We'll check out the house, talk to the family."

"Dean, you saw them, they're devastated They're not going to want to talk to us"

"Yeah you're right. But I think I know who they will talk to."

The next morning I watched as my two idiot brothers put on their most ridiculous outfit yet… they were going to pretend to be Father's from the local church. Idiots. I swear.

Dean handed me a nun outfit but I simply said "No. I'm not wearing that. I'll just come as an intern or something."

Instead of arguing back with me, which I almost hoped would happen, he just sighed and shook his head. Great. I can't even pick a damn fight with the guy now.

We walked up to the front door, Dean knocked.

"This has gotta be a whole new low for us." Sam mumbled before it opens.

"Good Afternoon. I'm Father Simmons, this is Father Frehley and our church intern Emily. We're new junior priests over at St Augustines. May we come in?"

A man who looked much like the dead guy from last night nodded and let us walk in, I'm guessing they were brothers or something.

"Thanks." Dean said following him inside.

"We're very sorry for your loss." Sam spoke softly.

"It's in difficult times like these when the Lord's guidance is most needed." Dean added dramatically. Oh please…. We are so going to hell for this one.

"Look, you wanna pitch your whole 'Lord has a plan' thing? Fine. Just don't pitch it to me. My brother's dead." Well, isn't he pleasant.

Suddenly the woman from last night rounds the corner entering the room, "Roger. Please!"

"Excuse me." He said leaving us with Ms. Miller.

"I'm sorry about my brother in law. He's...he's just so upset about Jim's death. Would you like some coffee?"

"That would be great." Dean accepts with a smile.

"It was wonderful of you to stop by. The support of the church means so much right now." She said to us as we all took a seat in the living room.

"Of course. After all we are all God's children."….. Dean. Dude. You are trying WAY too hard right now.

When I finish rolling my eyes I notice Dean is shoving his mouth full of cocktail sausages that Ms. Miller laid out for us to be polite.

Sam noticed too and was glaring at dean.

"What?" Dean asked him, cheeks full.

"Just...tone it down a little bit, Father."

"So Ms Miller, did you husband have a history of depression?"

"Nothing like that, We had our ups and downs like everyone but we were happy… I just don't understand...how Jim could do something like this."

"I'm so sorry you had to find him like that."

"Actually, our son Max, he was the one who found him."

We all three looked past her into the kitchen where Max was staring out the window, he was young, older than me but younger than Dean for sure. I figured the best way to get him to talk was have the right person, or gender, approach him.

"Do you mind if maybe, I go talk to him?" I asked suddenly, earning a glare from both boys, but I knew better than to meet eyes with Dean.

"Oh Yes! I think it would be great for him to talk with someone around his age about all this. Thank you dear."

"My pleasure." I said getting up with a smile.

At this point I'm really happy that I DIDN'T go along with the nun suit. Instead I have on a black pencil skirt, knee length, and a white button up underneath it. I had it buttoned all the way up, but since I am attempting to talk to Max now and not Mrs. Miller I dropped the top two.

"Max?" He jumped slightly before turning to look at me. He wasn't necessarily attractive but a girl could do worse. He looked me up and down before speaking.

"Who are you?"

"Emily. I work at the church, I'm assisting the Father's with home visits today. We came by to check on you and your mom to see how you were holding up."

"Right… they let you wear that to work for the church?" He asked gesturing to my tight skirt. Damn. Smart one.

"Well no actually, I'm more of an intern. I didn't exactly meet the qualifications to be a nun if you catch my drift." I threw him a wink.

He laughed, "Yeah. I think I do."

"So what was your Dad like?"

"Just a normal Dad."

"Yeah. You live at home now?"

"Yeah. Trying to save up for school but it's hard. I'm sure you can understand that."

"I do." I lied. I moved to sit next to him instead of standing and crossed my hands together.

"So when you found your dad..."

"I woke up, I heard the engine running….. I don't know why he did it."

"I know it's rough, losing a parent. Especially when you don't have all the answers."

"Do you? Really?" He asked me. How can I lie to the kid… guess I'll have to be honest.

"Yes. Actually I do. My mother was killed when I was young. My father is missing. So I do know."

This seemed to take him off guard, "I guess you do… She's my stepmom you know."

"No. I didn't."

"My mom died too. Guess we have a lot in common." He said reaching for my hand. I could feel his gaze fall down from my face and stop, as if willing the 3rd button on my shirt to open. I was suddenly very uncomfortable. I know I kinda dragged him along but this was making me feel like I did with Jake.

"Well, it sounds like the Father's are done, I should catch up to them." I said quickly standing and pulling away from him. I turned towards the doorway.

Luckily Sam entered the room at that moment.

"Ready to go Father?" I asked giving him the look that I really wanted to leave. He looked back at me concerned and flashed down to see Max staring at my ass. Come on Sam move! I pushed to walk past him, tired of feeling Max's eyes on me.

When we got to the impala I shuddered, I felt dirty. Like I needed to shower.

"Em you okay?" Sam asked concerned.

"Why wouldn't she be." Dean asked to only Sam. Again.

"I'm fine Sam… just leave it alone."

"No. I'm not… that guy was practically undressing her with his eyes. Normally you would have been there to put a stop to that, maybe if you'd bother to look at each other then you would have seen it and not left her in there alone." He was talking to Dean, then both of us, then back to only Dean.

I looked down and fidgeted with my hands. Dean said nothing and started driving down the road.

"I swear… you two are the most stubborn people I've ever met in my entire life." Sam mumbled.

The ride back to the motel was silent.

Sam and I left Dean at the motel and we went to the Library to do some research on the house. It wasn't long that we were pulling back in and walked inside to find Dean cleaning weapons again. He's been doing that a lot lately. I think its to keep himself busy so he has an excuse not to acknowledge me.

"What do you have?" He asked Sam…. Again. I'm just fucking chopped liver over here.

(DEAN'S POV)

Sam was frustrated when he came through the door, I knew he had nothing but I asked anyways.

"A whole lotta nothing. Nothing bad has happened in the Miller house since it was built."

"What about the land?"

"No grave yards, battle fields, tribal lands or any other kind of atrocity on or near the property."

"Hey man I told you, I searched that house up and down. No cold spots, sulfer scent. Nada."

"And the family said everything was normal?"

"Well, if there was a demon or poltergiest in there you think somebody would have noticed something? I used the infer-red thermal scanner man, and there was nothing. "

"So what, you think Jim Miller killed himself and my dream was just some sorta freakish coincidence?"

No. I don't. I think there is some crazy shit going on with you and it freaks me out. But I'm sure as hell not gonna tell you that.

"I dunno. I'm pretty sure there's nothing supernatural about that house."

"Yeah. Well, maybe it has nothing to do with the house." Sam said sitting down and rubbing his head.

"Maybe it's just...Gosh... maybe it's connected to Jim in some other way?" He looked in pain.

"What's wrong with you?"

"Ahh. My head!" He yelled falling to the floor, Emily was closer and was right next to him.

"Sammy! Sam!" She said trying to get him to look up, she was scared. I know that girl like the back of my hand. She was freaking out too.

"Sam? Hey," .. I said bending down to his level. "Hey! What's going on? Talk to me."

"It's happening again. Something's gunna kill Roger Miller."

Just like that we were back in baby, my foot laid on the gas. Sam was calling for an address. I flashed my eyes to the rearview mirror to see Emily in the back. Eyes focused on Sam. She was worried about him just as much as I was. I looked away incase she saw me watching her.

"Roger Miller. Uh no no,just the address please. Ok, thanks.."

"450 West Grove, Apartment 1120." He told me.

"You ok?" He was still rubbing his head and looked sick.

"Yeah."

"If you're gunna hurl I'll pull the car over you know, cause the upholstery..." Because I will kill you if baby gets covered in your puke. She doesn't deserve that.

"I'm fine." He said annoyed.

"All right."

"Just drive."

"Dean I'm scared man. These nightmares weren't bad enough, now I'm seeing things when I'm awake? And these, visions, or whatever, they're getting more intense. And painful."

"Sammy… it gonna be okay." Emily said from the backseat, reaching up to hug him from behind.

"Come on man, you'll be all right. It'll be fine."

"What is it about the Millers. Why am I connected to them, why am I watching them die? Why the hell is this happening to me?"

"I don't know Sam but we'll figure it out. We've faced the unexplainable every day. This is just another thing." Except its not. It never has been. And you're scaring the hell out of me.

"No. It's never been us. It's never been in the family like this. Tell the truth, you can't tell me this doesn't freak you out." Damn right it does.

"This doesnt freak me out." I lied, convincingly might I add.

Sam stared at me, but then gave up on the conversation… Him and Emily both were quiet the rest of the drive.

"Hey Roger." Sam calls out the window as we pull up and see Roger carrying in a bag of groceries.

"What are you guys, missionaries? Leave me alone."

"Please!" Sam pleaded to him. But he just kep walking. I jumped into a parking spot and Sam jumped out running after him.

"Hey. Roger. We're trying to help! Please! Hey, hey hey hey hey." Sam runs up to the door right as Roger slammed it in his face,

"I don't want your help." He called from the other side of the door before walking away.

"We're not priests, you gotta listen to us! Roger, you're in danger!"

I looked up and noticed the fire escape on the backside of the building.

"Come on. Come on come on." I called to Sam and Em.

We ran and ran, Emily right behind me and Sam behind her. I could hear some kind of a struggle at his window and I had just about reached it when I heard the noise… Its kind of hard to mistake decapitation. I froze. Emily accidently ran into me and Sam came up behind her. All three of us had our eyes glued to the head laying in the flower box, blood everywhere from the force of the window slamming down.

Suddenly Em started to scream, Sam threw a hand over her mouth. I turned and could see it starting. Not now kiddo… Sam dropped his hand when she stopped the screaming and I watched as her breath came faster and faster. She couldn't tear her eyes away.

"Start wiping down your fingerprints, we don't want the cops to know we were here. Come on, come on!" I yelled to them both, but Em was frozen. Her chest moving too rapidly. Shit.

"Dammit Sam get her back to the car! I'm gonna peak inside." He started to pull her down, but she was barely moving. I stepped inside the apartment and found nothing, no signs that anyone or anything had been here except for Roger. Man. What the hell is going on with these people.

I climbed back down and made my way to the impala. Sam had Emily in the front seat, crouched down in front of her.

"Dean! I can't get her to stop!"

"Just tell her to breathe." I tried to push him. He needs to know how to fix this… what happens if I'm not there.

"Dean I've been doing that since we left you. Its not working! I can't do it like you can." He said getting angry.

"Well learn then dammit!" This whole time we're arguing Emily is still drawing in short fast rapid breaths, I'm getting angrier by the second. Not at her, but because I want to help. But I just… I don't know!

"Dean her fingers are ice cold! Her lips are starting to go blue, shove whatever is in your head to the side and help her already!"

That was enough. I got down and pushed Sam out of the way. Putting one hand on each side of her face. She wasn't getting any air, she wasn't blinking. Her eyes were wide and glistening, she stared ahead at nothing.

"Emily! EM!" I yelled putting my eyes directly in her line of sight.

"Emily breathe! Breathe. You have to stop… come on babygirl. Shhhh… " I think she finally is looking at me instead of past me at nothing. I rubbed a circle on her cheek with my thumb.

"Deep breath in kiddo, you can do it." She took one half breath and then tried for a deep one but I had let this go on too long and she just couldn't get one- she was struggling to slow down.

I moved to sit behind her and leaned her against me, her head against the spot where my heart beats.

"Breathe kiddo.. come on." I held her against me as I breathed in and out slowly, feeling her chest rise but go down slow to match my movements, her whole body trembling.

"There you go… its okay. Its gone." I ran my fingers through her hair and rocked us back and forth. She was finally coming down. Its been a while since she's had one that bad. They exhaust her, and that on top of her lack of sleep was causing her to doze off in my arms. I tossed the keys to Sam and nodded as he picked up her legs and I slid over a little further into the seat, making sure they wouldn't get hit by the door.

Sam drove us back to the motel. By the time we got there Emily was still shaking but was breathing, and to be honest I'm pretty sure she was asleep. I hope that falling asleep right after seeing Roger doesn't give her more nightmares.

I carried her inside and laid her down on my bed, having to pry my shirt out of her grasp before I could stand up straight again. That girl had a death grip even in her sleep. I stood over her, just watching. She needed to sleep so bad. I want to wake her up, tell her I'm sorry. But I can't stand to disturb her right now. Why did I let this go on this long… how could I treat her like that. I know why she said the things she said, whether she meant them or not. Its because like me she'd do anything for this family. Sometimes I hated that, but deep down I was proud. I know that's something she learned from me.

"So are you two going to end this thing now…" Sam asked as he sipped a beer at the table.

"Yeah… yeah I think I'm done."

"Good…. So did you see anything inside?"

"I'm telling you there was nothing in there. No signs either, just like the Miller's house."

"I saw something, in the vision. Like a dark shape. Something was...something was stalking Roger."

"Whatever it was, are you sure it's not connected to their house?"

"No, it's connected to the family themselves. So what do you think, like a vengeful spirit?"

"Well yeah, there's a few that have been known to latch onto families, follow them for years…Angiak. Banshees."

"Basically like a curse. So maybe Roger and Jim Miller got involved in something heavy, something curse worthy."

"And now the something is out for revenge. And the men in their family are dying."

"Hey you think Max is in Danger?"

"You mean besides the fact that I might kill him if he looks at Emily again…" This caused Sam to chuckle.

"Let's figure it out before he is." I suggested.

"Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people."

"What's that?"

"Both our families are cursed."

I scoffed at him, "Our family's not cursed! We just...had our dark spots."

"Our dark spots are...pretty dark."

"You're...dark." Dammit. That was dumb.

Sam went to bed and I finished off the last of my beer before crawling in bed myself. Emily had been asleep for a few hours now, but it seemed like when I laid down it might have woken her up.

She moved around and suddenly turned over, meeting my gaze for the first time in days.

"Dean… I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Me too kiddo."

"Well when we do something we sure do it right huh De?" She grinned.

"Oh you mean like fighting? Yeah. I'm pretty sure we nailed that one." I smiled back.

She moved to lay her head on my chest and drifted back to sleep, I pulled her close to me and shut my eyes. Her and Sammy… my whole world. I protected them, taught them, disciplined them, raised them… loved them both more than I ever imagined I could.

Sam, he turned out good. He's strong. He's independent. He knows what he wants and he's not afraid to go after it… whatever is going on with him. I know he'll beat it. He always does… But Emily. She's still so young, so impressionable. SO damn stubborn. I could push too much if I'm not careful, or not push enough. There are so many things in this world I want for her. I want her to be loved, to be happy.

 _God. I don't know if your real… I don't know if you're up there, or if you're listening. Or if you really even care… but I need to do right by this girl. Please… don't let me lose her. Don't let me mess this kid up._

(EMILY'S POV)

It was bright outside the next morning. Dean was snoring lightly in my ear, I woke up still curled into his side. I'm glad we set things right. It had gone on too long. Poor guy looks exhausted. I carefully peeled myself away without waking him.

I felt better than I had in days. I actually slept and didn't need to cake on concealer this morning. Which is a relief cause that shit is expensive! I can't afford to wear it every day.

I went and sat next to Sam who was drinking coffee, gross. I loved the smell but couldn't stand its bitter taste. Sometimes he would make me a cup just so I could hold the warmth between my hands and smell it. Then of course Dean would steal it and drink it.

"You okay Em?"

"Yeah. I'm good. I'm sorry about last night Sammy.."

"Its okay. I'm sorry I couldn't really help… I tried but."

"No.. its okay. It's not your fault at all… I wish I could control it myself… but I can't."

"Emily. Are you ever gonna talk to me about them." Sam's question threw me way off guard.

I blinked at him for a second before looking down at my hands.

"I-I don't know. I don't know if I can to be honest with you." I said not looking up.

"You can tell me anything Em. But… in your own time."

"Thanks… So what's the plan for today."

"Well. You're not gonna like it but we need to go back and see Max. He might be in danger."

"You're right. I don't like it." Fuckin creeper, the last thing I wanna do is go back to his house.

Sam and Dean were dressed as Father's again but instead of the skin tight pencil skirt, I opted for dark wash jeans and a long sleeve black V-neck. I wasn't as much worried about my cover as I was not getting perved on. This time Dean told me not to leave his sight.

"My Mom's resting, she's pretty wrecked." Max said as he let us in the door.

"Of course." Sam said.

"All these people kept coming with like, casseroles? I finally had to tell them all to go away. You know cause nothing says I'm sorry like a tuna casserole." He spoke to Sam but had his eyes on me the entire time. Creep.

"How you holding up?" Sam asks him as we all sit in the living room.

"Ok."

"You're dad and your uncle were close."

"Yeah I guess. I mean, they were brothers. They used to hang out all the time when I was little."

"But not lately much?"

"No, it's not that. It's just...we used to be neighbours when I was a kid, and we lived across town in this house. Uncle Roger lived next door, so he was over all the time." I could sense something change in Max as he talked about his old house and having Roger close by. Somethings not right.

"Right. So how was it in that house when you were a kid?"

"It was fine. Why?" His mouth twitched. He's lying.

"All good memories? Do you remember anything unusual? Something involving your father and your uncle maybe?" Dean joined in asking.

"What do ya...why do you ask?" Max said getting suspicious. Oh yeah. This guy is hiding something.

"Just a question."

"No, there was nothing. We were totally normal. Happy." Liar liar pants on fire. Ew. No. Actually lets make sure his pants aren't on fire. They can stay on till hell freezes over as far as I'm concerned.

"Good. That's good. Well you must be exhausted. We should take off."

"Yeah… good to see you guys again." Max said again speaking to us all but only eyeing me, and I'm pretty sure that he was focused on my chest. I crossed my arms, which signaled to Dean that I was uncomfortable. He quickly laid a hand on my back and turned me towards the door, so that I was leading us out.

"I swear to God I'm going to rip his eyeballs out myself." Dean mumbled as the door shut. He instinctively walked right along side me. Usually that's annoying but right now I didn't mind so much.

"No one's family is totally normal and happy. See when he was talking about his old house?" I asked them.

"He sounded scared." Sam answered.

"Yeah Max isn't telling us everything. I say we go find the old neighborhood, find out what life was really like for the Millers."

"Agreed, just as long as we get the hell out of here." I said quickly climbing into the impala.

We went back to the old house and I wandered around as Dean and Sam talked to an older man who lived next door. This house was cute, it seemed like a quiet neighborhood. I wondered what it was like to grow up in a place like this. What was max so weird about?

Suddenly I heard the man ask if someone was okay… I turned to see Sam grabbing his head. Oh no. Another one. I rushed back to them as Dean and Sam waved goodbye and we climbed in the car.

"Max is doing it. Everything I've been seeing." Sam said finally coming out of his vision.

"You sure about this?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah, I saw him."

"How's he pulling it off?" I asked.

"I don't know, like telekinesis?"

"What so he's psychic, a spoon bender?"

"As long as he doesn't have X-ray vision." I said aloud more to myself then anyone.

"I didn't even realize it but this whole time he was there. He was outside the garage when his Dad died, he was in the apartment when his Uncle died. These visions, this whole time - I wasn't connecting to the Millers, I was connecting to Max! The thing is I don't get why, man. I guess - because we're so alike?"

"What are you talking about. The dude's nothing like you." Dean argued.

"Well. We both have psychic abilities, we both..."

"Both what? Sam, Max is a monster, he's already killed two people, now he's gunning for a third." I said

"Well, with what he went through, the beatings, to want revenge on those people? I'm sorry, I hate to say it, but it's not that insane. "

"Yeah but it doesn't justify murdering your entire family!" Dean quickly added.

"Dean..."

"He's no different from anything else we've hunted, all right? We gotta end him."

"We're not going to kill Max." Sam said

"Then what? Hand him over to the cops and say 'Lock him up officer; he kills with the power of his mind.'"

"No way. Forget it."

"Sam..."

"Dean. He's a person. We can talk to him. Hey, promise me you'll follow my lead on this one."

"All right fine. But I'm not letting him hurt anybody else."

"Fair enough… Emily that means you too. Don't pull anything in here."

"Okay… I won't Sammy. Promise." I said with my finger's crossed behind my back. Oops.

We busted through the front door, to see Max and a frightened Ms. Miller standing in the kitchen.

"Fathers? What are you doing here?" Max asked confused.

"Uhh, sorry to interrupt." Dean quickly says.

"Max, can we, uh, can we talk to you outside for just one second?" Sam asks trying to hide his nervousness.

"…About what?"

"It's...it's private. I wouldn't want to bother your mother with it."

"We won't be long at all though, I promise." He then said to Ms. Miller.

"Great."

We started walking for the door and just as I was fixing to step out of it it slammed shut almost catching me, Dean was quick and yanked me back, almost pulling me to the floor, Sam flung around to face Max.

"You're not priests!" He yelled backing up.

Dean and I both drew guns but they were somehow ripped out of our hands and thrown across the ground. What the hell?! Did Max just do that.

"Max, what's happening?" Ms. Miller suddenly asked him.

"Shut up."

"What are you doing?" She asked before she was flung into a wall. Oh yeah. This is definitely Max's doing. Shit.

"I said shut up!" He yelled getting frantic.

"Max calm down." I persuaded stepping forward, Dean grabbed the back of my shirt so that I couldn't walk away from him and be out of arm's reach.

"Who are you?" He asked me.

"We just wanna talk Max… please. Lets just talk." I tried to speak softly to calm him.

"Yeah right, that's why you brought this!" he said pointing to my gun.

"That was a mistake all right? So we were lying about who we were… But no more lying Max ok? Just please, just hear me out." I tried taking another step forward.

"About what?"

"I saw you do it. I saw you kill your Dad and your Uncle before it happened." Sam suddenly started up.

"I'm having visions Max. About you."

"You're crazy." Seriously? Said that guy that throws people around with his mind.

"So what, you weren't gonna launch a knife at your stepmom?" Max looked over at his stepmom before Sam got his attention back. "Right here? Is it that hard to believe Max, look what you can do. Max I was drawn here all right? I think I'm here to help you."

Max started to cry… "No one can help me."

"Let me try. We'll just talk, me and you. We'll get Dean, Emily, and Alice out of here."

"Uh-huh. No way." Dean suddenly interrupted.

The room started to shake and Dean pulled me back against him. Eyes on Sam since he was standing just feet from Max.

"Nobody leaves this house!" Max yells.

"And nobody has to, all right? They'll just...they'll just go upstairs." Sam tried to reason.

"Sam I'm not leaving you alone with him." Dean said.

"Yes you are. Look, Max. You're in charge here, all right, we all know that. No one's going to do anything that you don't want to do but I'm talking five minutes here man."

"Sam!"

Max looked to his stepmom and then to me and Dean.

"Five minutes. GO." He said. Dean quickly pushed me up towards the staircase before he went to get Ms. Miller.

My gun was just inches from my feet… If I can just discreetly bend down… I started to move and was about to grab it when yelling startled me and I jumped back.

"Hey! Don't touch that!" Max yelled eyes on me.

"Okay… okay I'm sorry Max… I'm going. I'm going now." I said walking backwards up the stairs as Dean made his way to me. We went to the closest bedroom and shut the door.

"What the hell Em! Right in front of him? Seriously!"

"I'm sorry. I almost had it…"

"I know. It was a good idea, just. Don't pull that shit again."

We sat on the bed and Dean held a rag to Ms. Miller's bleeding head. Suddenly the door flung open. It was Max. Wait…

"Max… Where's Sam" I cautiously asked standing up.

"You know I knew you weren't from the church. When you walked in wearing that skirt… no one with an ass like that works for the church." Max said looking me up and down biting his lip.

"Hey! Watch it." Dean growled

"Max. Please. Where is Sam."

"He's… busy."

"I swear if you hurt him I'll kill you." Dean said.

Suddenly Max pulled out a gun, he held it in the air and then released it, but the gun stayed mid air. It moved towards Ms. Miller and Dean stepped right in front of her.

"This isn't about you… move." Max said coldly.

"You're gonna have to get through me first." Dean matched his tone.

Max grinned. "Okay."

"NO! Max don't! Please… Don't." I walked up to him.

"Emily stay away from him." Dean growled but I ignored it.

I walked up to Max, dropping my voice to a whisper.

"Max… You don't have to do this. We can leave. Me and you. Lets just go."

He stared at me for a second, then started shaking his head.

"I wish you didn't have to die… so pretty." He said reaching up and touching my face with the back of his hand.

I heard the gun cock, realizing it was right behind my head now. I turned to face it- shaking. When I made the turn full circle I looked past it to Dean. My eyes almost as wide as his. "I'm sorry" I mouthed to him before closing my eyes. Waiting to hear the shot.

Instead I heard feet flying up the steps. "Max wait!" Sam Yelled.

"No don't! Don't! Please. Please. Max. Max. We can help you. All right. But this, what you're doing. It's not the solution. It's not gonna fix anything."

Max was crying, sweating, shaking, he was a total mess. I was still staring at Dean with the gun almost touching my forehead. He was eyes wide. Frozen. Knowing if he moved an inch it could cause Max to pull the trigger.

Suddenly I heard Max, "You're right."

It all happened so fast. Suddenly the gun was out of my sight, but the shot was right next to my ears.

"Noo!" Ms. Miller and Sam both yelled. I heard Max's body drop to the floor behind me. Dean crossed the room quickly and tucked me into his shoulder. Then he grabbed Sam and pulled him close to us. Not letting go- as if one of us might disappear if he released.

Ms. Miller was lying to the cops, making sure that we were free to go. Sam filled us in on his conversation with Max. I know he told me his real mom died. But he neglected to share she died the exact same way my mother did. When he was exactly six months old. Just like me. Was I part of his somehow? I mean Sam is the one with the psychic crap going on… but why did mom die when I was six months and not Sam? None of this makes sense.

"If I'd just said something else. Gotten through to him somehow." Sam was musing as we got in the impala and drove back to the motel.

"Ah, don't do that." Dean interrupted.

"Do what?"

"Torture yourself. It wouldn't have mattered what you said, Max was too far gone. He was going to kill Em. Just for being there. He was dead whether it be by his hand or mine."

"When I think about how he looked at me man, right before. I shoulda done something."

"Come on man, you risked your life. I mean yeah, maybe if we had gotten there 20 years earlier."

"Well I'll tell you one thing. We're lucky we had Dad." This caused my eyes to fly to Sam. Did I hear that correctly?

"Well I never thought I'd hear you say that." Dean said sounding just as shocked.

"Well, it coulda gone a whole other way after Mom. I little more tequila and a little less demon hunting and we woulda had Max's childhood. All things considered, we turned out ok. Thanks to him."

"All things considered."

We made it back to the room and started to pack up.

"Dean I've been thinking." Sam says out of no where.

"Well that's never a good thing." I joked, we all grinned.

"I'm serious. I been thinking, this demon, whatever it is. Why would it kill Mom, and Jessica, and Max's mother, you know? What does it want?"

"I have no idea."

"Well, you think, maybe, it was after us? After Max and me?"

"Why would you think that?"

"I mean, either telekinesis or premonitions, we both had abilities, you know? Maybe he was, he was after us for some reason."

"Sam. If it had wanted you, it would've just taken you. Ok? This is not your fault, it's not about you."

"Then what is it about?" Oh how I wish I had an answer to this question. Why did the demon kill mom when I was a baby. Why not when Sam was. Just like Max.

"It's about that damn thing that did this to our family. The thing that we're gonna find, the thing that we're gonna kill. And that's all."

"Actually there's uh ... there's something else too."

"Oh my god what." Geez Dean. Play nice.

"When Max left me in that closet, with that big cabinet against the door ... I moved it."

"Huh. You got a little more upper body strength than I gave you credit for there Sammy." What an ass.

"No man, I moved it. Like, Max."

"Oh." Dean said catching on and going silent for a minute…

"Bend this." Dean said nonchalantly holding up a spoon.

"Dean! Stop it!" I finally intervened.

"I can't just turn it on and off Dean." Sam said getting frustrated.

"How'd you do it Sam?" I asked him nicely.

"I don't know, I can't control it. I just...I saw you die and it just came out of me, like a, like a punch. You know like...a freak adrenaline thing."

"You saw me die?" I asked kinda surprised.

"Yeah. Em. He wasn't going to stop. He was going to kill you… then Dean.. then Ms. Miller."

"Yeah well I'm sure it won't happen again." Dean said trying to play the situation down.

"Yeah, maybe. Aren't you worried, man? Aren't you worried I could turn into Max or something?" Never. My Sammy could never be like Max.

"Nope. No way. You know why?" Dean asked him.

"Why?"

"Cause you got one advantage Max didn't have."

"Dad? Because Dad's not here, Dean." Well obviously Sam.

"No. Me." He said smirking. "As long as I'm around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you. And even if I wasn't here this pain in the ass would keep you in check." Dean said grabbing my wrist and pulling me into his lap as if I was a little girl again.

Sam gave us a small smile with his puppy dog eyes.

"I love you Sammy."

"I love you too Em." He said before getting up and going to pack the car.

I turned and looked to Dean, "I'm worried about him De."

"Me too… but we've gotta show him that he's okay. We gotta hold him up right now ya know?"

"Yeah. I do." I agreed staring down at my feet.

"Hey Em… listen. I'm sorry."

"De I know-"

"No. Just listen to me for a second. When Max had that gun on you… I would have done anything. Killed him. Swapped you and his mom, swapped me and you. Anything. To save you… I get it. I know why you said what you said. It just. I hate to think that I let you down. I let this life make you hard, and I'm sorry for that."

I laughed and he gave me an odd look. "Seriously?! That's why you cold shouldered me for a week now? Dean. You have never let me down. You prepared me. Dean this world is a hard place. You made me tough enough to handle it. You are the one solid stable thing I have. So don't doubt yourself. You made me who I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Family comes first, always."

He smirked at me and kissed my cheek.

"Come on. Lets catch up with Sammy."

We hopped up and walked outside, bags in hand.

"Now then. I know what we need to do about your premonitions. I know where we have to go."

"Where?" Sam asked curiously.

"Vegas." He said with a grin.

Sam shot Dean a bitch face and turned to get in the car.

"What? Come on man. Craps tables. We'd clean up!"

"Seriously De?" I said smacking him in the back of the head.

I climbed up front in the middle, I missed sitting up here. I leaned against Sam and turned up Skynrd's Simple Man on the radio.

" _And be a simple kind of man… Oh, be something you love and understand"_ I sang along contently.

" _Baby be a simple kind of man…Oh, won't you do this for me, son, if you can._ "


	14. Chapter 14

Author's note:Thanks for the love! Its hard to explain the feeling you get when you see you have new reviews! There might be a hint in this chapter relating to Emily's panic attacks. I know some may wonder why I included them. Anxiety is something personally I deal with. I think what Jared Padalecki is doing with his Always Keep Fighting campaign is amazing. I love that he gives hope to people who struggle. So always remember you guys are NEVER alone in your battles.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

Most people think bars are nasty places. That they're full of trashy women and dirty old men. But for me they're familiar. They're comforting. Everywhere we go there all different but the same really. I can easily pick out the troublemakers from the friendlies. Winchester's just sorta fit in with the bar scene, maybe that's a bad thing to some people, but not to me. This bar isn't anything special. Its stocked, its smoky, its full of leather jackets and boots. But it's nicer than some other's we've been in.

This town we're in has had a string of disappearances for the last 10 years. No leads. No bodies. Nothing.

Just last week another guy went missing, poor kid said he saw his dad get taken in the parking lot but didn't see what did it. I felt bad for him. He was young. We have done research all day with not a clue as to what's going on... So we do what we do best. Hit the bar.

Dean and me are tossing darts for an hour now, he's kicking my ass of course. Lucky bastard conned me out of 50 bucks. I should have known better by now. Its fine. I'll just grab it out of his wallet the next time we stop at a gas station for a food run.

"Don't phantom attackers usually snatch people from their beds? Jenkins was taken from a parking lot." Dean asked as Sam tried to come up with a theory.

"Well, there are all kinds. You know, Springhill Jacks, phantom gassers. They take people anywhere, anytime. Look, Dean, I don't know if this is our kind of gig either."

"Yeah, you're right, we should ask around more tomorrow."

"Right. I saw a motel about five miles back."

"Whoa, whoa, easy. Let's have another round Sammy."

I took this opportunity to snatch a dart from his pile and throw it poorly. He busted me. I grinned as innocently as possible.

"We should get an early start." Sam tried to convince Dean.

"Yeah, you really know how to have fun, don't you, Grandma?"

I crossed my arms and glared at him.

"Alright, I'll meet you outside, I gotta take a leak." He walked off.

"I gotta pee too Sammy. I'll meet you outside."

"Okay kiddo I'll get the car warmed up for you."

I smiled at him, "That's why you're my favorite." I said with a wink before walking away.

When I walked outside I went over to the impala…. Umm.

Where's Sam? Dad's journal and his laptop are on the roof of the car, the keys on the ground.

"Okay Sammy. So not funny…. Where are you?" I looked around but saw him no where.

"Oh my god… Sam! SAM!" I started to run around frantically screaming his name.

I come around the side of a truck and ran straight into Dean.

"Whoa! Damn kiddo slow your roll.."

"Dean he he he's gone… I.. I can't find him." I stuttered still looking around, spinning in circles.

"Em what are you talking about.."

"Sam! Dean I lost Sam! I went to pee after you and he said he'd meet me out here and he's gone!"

"What?! No.. no he's not. Get in the car. I'll go get him." Dean said as if me saying Sam was gone was as unbelievable as saying the impala turned into a unicorn.

He walked me to the car and I grabbed Sam's stuff off the roof, I watched as Dean walked off yelling for Sam. He got louder with each passing minute… he was realizing I wasn't lying. I couldn't sit here anymore.

I walked towards Dean who had become frantic himself… "Dean.. Where is he?" my lip started to quiver.

"I don't know.. Dammit! I don't know!" he threw his hands up and held them behind his head, turning still searching with his eyes. I did the same.

"Em. Look.." He pointed to a traffic cam at a light right outside the parking lot.

"We can't do anything more tonight… we're gonna have to wait till morning."

"What? Dean no.. I can't leave without Sammy." I looked to him with a broken expression. Ready to burst into tears any second now.

Dean leaned down and took my face in both of this hands.

"Listen to me Em. We're gonna find him. Okay? We're gonna get him back. Tomorrow… but right now we need to go back.. Okay? I promise. I'm gonna get him back." His face was determined, probably trying to cover his own terror of having to leave without Sam.

Dean had his arm wrapped around me the whole way to the impala. I sat as close to him as I possibly could. The motel room was silent. Neither of us saying a word. Just laying in bed… Dean in his and me in Sam's. I wrapped up in a sweater from his bag. I laid my head on my arms and just closed my eyes taking in his smell. I have to get him back. A few tears rolled, but I didn't want Dean to know, I didn't want him to come lay with me. I didn't want his scent to contaminate Sam's. I just wanted Sammy back.

The next day Dean and I drove towards the police station. Dean had a plan but I didn't like it.

"Dean you're gonna get busted. You're supposed to be dead, and if they see you aren't dead they're gonna arrest you for murder. You don't need to be walking in here pretending to be a detective. You were busted last time. You'll get busted again. And then I'll truly be on my own." I laid it out for him and he seemed frustrated. Probably because he knows I'm right.

"Then what the hell do you suggest we do… Huh? Got a plan there Em?"

"Actually… yes."

He scoffed, "Yeah.. Okay. And what would that be?!"

"Let me do it… let me go in, I'll be me. Sam's sister, but I'll bring the older ID so they don't call child services. I'll say that he disappeared and I noticed a traffic cam and wondered if they could pull it for me. Simple as that."

"No. NO way. I'm not letting you do this one alone. Its too important."

"You think I don't fucking realize that Dean?! I want Sammy back just as much as you!" I jumped up and yelled at him.

"Yes Emily I fucking get that! But you're not ready to go alone!"

"Dean! Just. Let me do this my way. Please. We have to get him back, but we have to be smart. You going to jail isn't exactly smart dumbass!"

"Watch who you're talking to." He said cold hard.

"Why… you gonna scrub out my mouth with soap.. Huh dad?" I glared at him. He glared back pissed.

"Dean… Just. Let me try. I'm begging you. Trust me. Please." I begged softly.

"…Fine. But I'm going to tail you, you better text me every little damn detail you get! I want to know EVERYTHING at all times! Do you understand me?" Geez. Yes I do drill sergeant!

"Yes. Thank you."

I walked into the station… alone. It was a little more intimidating then I thought it would be, but I've got bigger issues. I need to find my brother. I approached the desk and a female deputy turned around to offer me help. Shit. I was totally gonna play up the boobs and tears on the nearest guy in sight. But I guess I'll have to play some serious hardball now.

"Umm. Yeah. I need to see about getting the footage from a traffic cam in town."

She eyed me suspiciously… "What would you want that for."

"My brother. We were at the local bar… He disappeared. I think the traffic cam might have seen something… please. I'm begging you. Its just me and him. He would never run off and leave me like this."

She looked sad for a moment, then it was back to business. "How old are you?"

"18" I said handing her a fake ID.

"Okay. Well. How about you fill out a missing person's report for me and I'll look into the footage and let you know what we find." She said handing me paperwork.

"Maam… with all due respect. You and I both know that's bullshit. There have been quite a few disappearances in this town over the last 10 years or so haven't there?"

"I'm sorry but how would you know that." She asked crossing her arms.

"I pay attention to the news. The papers… Its something my brother taught me to do. Always be aware of what's going on around you."

She looked at me for a long minute… contemplating something.

"Okay… What's his name and what does he look like?" She asked leading me over to a desk on the other side of the room. I pulled out a picture I had tucked in my pocket.

"Sam Winchester." She started to type in his name.

"Hmm… says here he's clean… but. I'm sorry…did you have another brother?"

"Yes. Actually. Dean. He uh.. He was always kinda the black sheep of the family. A real pain in the ass if you ask me." Then I noticed I didn't sound the least bit sad and I'm guessing she did too by her expression. "But.. uhh. I loved him ya know." I said looking down.

"Well I'm sorry he passed."

"Me too. Sammy and me are all that we got. Please. I have to find him."

She stood up with a copy of the papers she just printed.

"Well. I can go down to the city road department and see if they can pull the tapes. Why don't you wait here and I'll be back in an hour at the most."

"No! Please. Let me go with you. I won't get in the way. I'll be quiet. I swear."

She sighed but didn't say no. So I followed her out and climbed into the front seat of the cruiser. Hmm. Not used to being on this side of the bars when it comes to cop cars.

When we got settled I pulled out my phone and texted dean. "In cruiser with deputy. Follow us to get traffic cam tape."

(Dean's POV)

Come on… She's been in there too long. Its not working. I got up to go in.. but then sat back in the car. For about the fifth time in the last 10 minutes. I hate letting her go alone. I know she can do it. But I don't like it. She's getting to independent for her own good. She'll get ideas in her head and take off on her own. Its dangerous. She's dangerous sometimes.

I couldn't get my foot to stop tapping. Eyes glued to the front door. She walked in… now I'm waiting for her to walk out.

Suddenly my phone goes off, I jump and fling it open.. "In cruiser with deputy. Follow us to get traffic cam tape." Holy shit it worked.

I looked up to see a cruiser with two women in it… I'm assuming one of them is Em. So I start up baby and follow them down the road, keeping my distance.

We didn't have to go far, we parked in front of an unmarked building downtown. Must be city property. Great. Now I get to wait more.

I watched as Emily and a pretty attractive female sheriff walked inside. I'm kinda shocked Emily pulled this thing off so easily. I mean. I knew she was good. But. Still. How do you walk in and convince a cop to let you tag along on an investigation?

If it was a guy cop I might understand a little more. Emily's good at playing men. Scares the hell out of me most times. But sometimes it comes in handy. This would be one of those times…

I wish I knew where Sammy way. That he was safe. It kills me. I lost him on my watch. He was my responsibility and I let him get taken… This wouldn't be the first time I fucked up and let this happen. I swore to myself it would be the last time though. The consequences of my actions from the last time around were bad. They still are bad. It makes me sick every time Emily wakes up with nightmares about it, its why I felt so desperate to fix her panic attacks. It was all my fault anyways. And now Sam. I let something get him too… I fucked up. Again.

If anything happens to him I'll never forgive myself.

(Emily's POV)

I stood back a little bit and let the lady do her job, turns out her name is Kathleen. She's actually not bad for a cop.

When they forwarded the tapes to about the time we were there I leaned in a little closer. Trying to over listen.

"Emily, let me show you something." She said to me.

"Look at how old this truck is… now look at the license plate."

I looked…"It looks new." I said confused.

"Exactly. Probably stolen. And it's the only vehicle coming or going at the time yall were getting to leave."

"So you think they have Sammy?" My heartrate picked up.

"Maybe. Lets find out." She said looking at me sadly. It was different not having to pretend to be scared or upset to get them to help. This time it was genuine. I was terrified. Who and what is this thing? Why did it take my brother?

We got back in the car and I texted dean. "Found old truck. Stolen plates. Probably involved. Left bar, never passed traffic cam on the other side of town. Somewhere between here and there. 15 mile stretch. One road. Headed there now. Follow, but not too close."

I rested my head back on the seat and let out a sigh.

"You were right you know." Kathleen suddenly said to me.

"I'm sorry?" I asked confused.

"About the disappearances. I can never find them again. I can't figure out what happened. To any of them." She looked so sad.

"It's not your fault… sometimes there are forces at work we just don't understand." I tried to comfort her.

"I had a brother, Riley. He disappeared three years ago. Just like yours. I never found him." Oh shit… now it makes sense. Why she was willing to help me… why she was so sad watching me talk about Sam. She knows exactly how it feels. God please let us find Sammy…

"I'm so sorry…" Was all I could think to say.

"Yeah. Me too. But… if we find Sam. Maybe I'll find some answers. This is as close as to a lead as I've gotten in years."

I smiled sadly at her and we went back to driving in silence. Looking for a turn off on the road that they might have taken. It was a lot of woods. We were definitely in the boonies.

(Dean's POV)

I've been following but staying back a good ways. Luckily this road has practically nowhere to turn off. So if I keep going straight down it then I'll be close to Em.

I keep looking around, for anything. Any truck. Any sign of monsters, spirits. Although I'm not sure either of those drive an old beat up truck with stolen plates. It doesn't make any sense really. What kind of creature is this?

I drove for another few minutes before getting a text. " 911. I'm cuffed to car." Holy fuckin hell Emily. What the fuck did you do now. I stepped on the gas and quickly came up on a cop car pulled off the side of the road in front of a private property drive with a chain blocking the way. I jumped out, lock pick in hand.

"What the hell Em?" I asked jogging over to her.

"She thinks whoever took him is down there and wanted me to wait in the car. I said no and she tricked me into getting cuffed. Just get me the hell out of these already!"

Suddenly we heard an engine… Shit. Someone's coming.

"Dean hurry!"

I got the lock picked and we jumped in the impala and sped off in reverse ducking around the curve where it couldn't be seen form their private drive. We quietly got out and walked through the woods, guns drawn.

"What the hell…" Emily whispered next to me. "It's the truck from the pictures Dean.. but… those are just. People?"

She was right. Two big ass rednecks. They used keys to get into the cop car and drive it and the old truck back down the drive. Shit. If they had the keys then I think our cop buddy is busted.

"Dean they had keys."

"I know Em.. come on stay close, I mean it!" I turned putting a finger in her face. This is not the time for her to get brave.

(Emily's POV)

I stayed on Dean's ass as we walked about a mile or so through the woods. What we finally found was scarier than hell. It was some run down house. The yard was nasty with trash, car parts, metal, and who knows what everywhere. There were a couple of old rusty sheds and barn on the property too. Seems like some kind of salvage yard near them. We watched as they drove the cop car into the yard and then walked back into the house.

Dean tapped my shoulder and led me into the side door of the barn.

"Dean?!" I heard Sam's voice!

"Sammy!" I ran towards the cage he was locked in, Dean right behind me.

"Sam? Are you hurt?" Dean asked.

"No."

"Damn, it's good to see you man."

"Wait.. Dean?" a female voice said form behind us. I turned around and saw Kathleen in a cage too.

"Umm. Yeah. He's kinda sorta not dead… but I swear he's not a murderer!" She looked at me like I was crazy.

"Oh, these locks look like they're gonna be a bitch." Dean says looking at the front of Sam's cage.

"Well, there's some kind of automatic control right there."

"Have you seen 'em?" I asked Sam.

"Yeah. Dude, they're just people." I knew it!

"And they jumped you? Must be gettin' a little rusty there, Sammy. What do they want?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. They let Jenkins go, but that was some sort of trap. It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Well, that's the point. You know, with our usual playmates, there's rules, there's patterns. But with people, they're just crazy."

"See anything else out there?"

"Uh, he has about a dozen junked cars hidden out back. Plates from all over, so I'm thinkin' when they take someone, they take their car, too."

"Did you see a black Mustang out there? About ten years old?" Kathleen suddenly asked.

"Yeah, actually, I did." Dean replied. Kathleens face fell. I guess she got her answers.

"Your brother's?" I ask her… she just nods.

"I'm so sorry Kathleen." I said looking at her heartbroken face.

"Let's get you guys out of here, then we'll take care of those bastards. This thing takes a key. Know where it might be?" Dean asked.

"I don't know." Sam shrugged.

"Alright, we better go find it. Em, watch my back okay?"

"Yeah." I said dropping my mag to make sure it was full before putting it back in my gun.

"Hey! Be careful kiddo!" Sam hollers to us.

"I will. Promise." I said nodding at him.

Dean and I left the large open area in the barn and went further back, there was a room- filled with terrible horrible things. Heads in jars. Huge knives. Dean picked up a picture and showed it to me.

It was the two men we saw holding up the missing guy- Jenkins' head like it was a 10pt buck or something.

"I'll say it again—demons I get. People are crazy." Dean said looking at my freaked out expression.

"Lets just get out of this room. Please." I said back.

We walked out of the barn and went towards the house. Dean walked into a wind chime made of bones. What in the ACTUAL fuck is going on around here! Who the hell are these people?! We snuck in the back door. It stinks in this house. There's dirt on everything. The maid hasn't been in for a VERY long time. Dean picks up a jar with… oh my god.

"Are those teeth?!" I asked him. He looked at me horrified and shook his head up and down.

Suddenly I feel something behind me. I turn and see a little girl, I drop my gun and lean down to her.

"Shh.. Shh. It's okay we won't hurt you." I said reaching out for her. She was filthy. I really didn't wanna touch her.

She ginned. "I know.." then she screamed…"Daddy!" Oh shit.

Suddenly in runs 3 large men, two from the road and an older man. The young girl lounges for me and I punch her in the face knocking her on her ass, I turn to see Dean handling the two guys, wait. Where's the old man?

Then everything is black.

When I wake up I'm tied up, feels like I'm in a chair. I look up slowly. I see Dean sitting across from me. Awake already. Staring at me, I could tell he wanted to come check on me but he was also tied up. Bastards.

"Come on. Let us hunt em." I hear one of the boys ask their dad.

"Yeah, this one's a fighter. Sure would be fun to hunt." The other said standing by Dean. The dad laughed.

"Oh, you gotta be kiddin' me. That's what this is about? You - you yahoos hunt people?" Dean asked putting the pieces together. Grrreat. I'm starting to get the feeling they probably eat their kill. Hence the heads in jars and extra bones and teeth laying around, also the giant chunk of meat dear old pops was filleting in kitchen doesn't quiet have the same color as beef.

"You ever killed before?" their dad got down to Dean's level and asked him.

"Well, that depends on what you mean." I say, getting their attention off Dean. No way in hell am I gonna let them hunt my brothers.

He turned to me and chuckled. "Oh. Don't you worry. I've got plans for you too sweet cheeks. You see… My boys here are lonely. They could use a little company.. if you catch my drift." Suddenly the man standing next to me strokes my face with his hand. I pulled away and spit on his feet. He backhands me. Hard. It busts open my lip.

"HEY! You get your twisted fucking fingers off my sister. Or I swear to god I'll rip them off one at a time with a pair of dirty ass pliers." Dean's voice was scary, but all the men did was laugh. Then the dad turned back to him.

"I've hunted all my life. Just like my father, his before him. I've hunted deer and bear—I even got a cougar once. Oh boy. But the best hunt is human. Oh, there's nothin' like it. Holdin' their life in your hands. Seein' the fear in their eyes just before they go dark. Makes you feel powerful alive."

"You're a sick puppy."

"We give 'em a weapon. Give 'em a fightin' chance. It's kind of like our tradition passed down, father to son. Of course, only one or two a year. Never enough to bring the law down, we never been that sloppy." He said looking up at his two sons, as if insinuating that they've gotten sloppy this time.

"Yeah, well, don't sell yourself short. You're plenty sloppy." He punches Dean.

"So, what, you with that pretty cop? Are you a cop?" He asked him.

"If I tell you, you promise not to make me into an ashtray?" Dean replied sarcastically. Another punch.

"Leave him alone! Or I'll fucking kill you!" I screamed.

"Only reason I don't let my boys take you right here and now is that there's somethin' I need to know."

"Yeah, how 'bout it's not nice to marry your sister?" I said. Then he punched me. Black eye. Great. As if I didn't just get past one of those not too long ago. I swear. I might as well stock up on concealer. I could go through a month's worth in a week.

"Tell me—any of the cops gonna come lookin' for you?" The dad asked, picking up a hot poker and walking towards Dean with it.

"Oh, eat me. No, no, no, wait, wait, wait—you actually might." Dammit Dean shutup! One of the boy's walked over to Dean and held his head in place as the father got closer with the hot poker.

I started to struggle and pull at my ropes. Only to have the other brother hold me against my chair, letting his hand rest on one of my boobs. Fuckin sicko.

"You think this is funny? You brought this down on my family. Alright, you wanna play games? We'll play some games. Looks like we're gonna have a hunt tonight after all, boys. And you get to pick the animal. The boy or the cop?"

"Okay, wait, wait—look, nobody's comin' for me, alright? It's just us."

"You don't choose, I will." Suddenly he digs the poker into Dean's shoulder, burning through his shirt.

"Dean!" I said reaching up against the arm around me, still fighting him and my ropes.

"Ah, you son of a bitch!"

"Well I guess you're not gonna answer me are you… guess you're not so much worried about yourself. But are you worried about her…" The older man took the poker and walked towards me. Oh no.. please no.

"Hey… what are you doing.. Hey!" Dean yelled. Suddenly there was white hot pain digging into my rib cage, I screamed and tried to shrink away from it. But the grip around my chest got tighter and the voices around me laughed.

"Get off of her!" Dean yelled. I could hear him fighting to get up.

"Alright, the guy, the guy! Take the guy!" Dean yelled. The pain stopped. The arm around me clutched to my chest finally let go… I looked up to Dean, he was starting at them. Pure hate in his eyes.

"Dean no! Not Sammy!" I pleaded.

"Lee, go do it. Don't let him out, though. Shoot him in the cage."

"What?! I thought you said you were gonna hunt him. You were gonna give him a chance!" Dean yelled. Fighting the ropes again.

"Lee, when you're done with the boy—shoot the bitch, too. Better clean this mess up before any more cops come runnin' out here." Dean's face goes from rage to fear in less then a second.

There were gunshots in the distance. No.. No no no!

"That boy of yours out there… he's already dead for touching my sister. But If you hurt my brother. I swear on everything that is holy. I'll hunt you down and rip you to shreds with my bear hands." Dean said to him, the rage returning.

The dad stood up and walked to the front door… "Lee?" He called out.

"Lee!... Jared. You come with me. Missy.. stay here and watch them. Don't hurt the girl. Your brother's are gonna want her nice and pretty for later." He said licking his lips.

"Yes Daddy." She says as they walk out the door.

She walked over and stood in front of me. Holding a knife up to my face, but not touching me with it.

She's not even paying attention, she's a shitty guard. She didn't even notice as Dean finally slipped one wrist from his ropes, then the other, he slowly stood up. I kept my eyes on hers to keep her focused on me instead of Dean.

He walked to her, picking up the hot poker, and hitting her over the head with it. I finally breathed a sigh of relief as the knife dropped away from my face and Dean went to untie me.

"I'm so sorry babygirl… I'm so sorry.. are you okay?!" He said coming around to the front and hugging me into his shoulder. I winced at the movement, it hurt my ribs. Every movement did.

"De I'm fine.. come on. We gotta get Sammy.."

"Are you sure you can?" He asked trying to lift my shirt to look at my ribs.

I pushed his hand down, "Dean! After we get Sam! Lets go!" I said pushing myself off the chair.

He locked the girl in the closet an we ran out towards the barn, every step hurt like hell. Luckily when we got out the door I could see Sam running towards the house. Thank God he's okay!

"Sammy!" I yelled running to him.

"Em! Kiddo.. What the hell did they do to you?!" He asked trying to look me over like Dean did.

"Its fine, we'll handle it later.." I said pushing his hands away also. It hurts like hell and I don't want anyone touching it. I think they burnt through the shirt and its partially stuck to the wound, no telling how dirty that poker or anything else in there was.

Kathleen walked over to us…

"Where's the little girl?"

"Napping in the closet." Dean answered.

"The dad?" Sam asked.

"Killed… trying to escape." She said with a flat face. We didn't question it.

"So are both of the sick ass brother's dead? Cause if not then I got a job to finish…" Dean asked stepping up to stand closer to me.

"Yeah man.. they're gone." Sam answered not understanding the hostility in Dean's voice. He looked at me and I just shook my head as if saying "don't ask".

"Well… I've gotta call this thing in. And I'm guessing you don't wanna be here when I do. Something tells me they won't necessarily let Dean Winchester walk away from another murder scene."

"Yeah. I don't imagine they would." Dean answered.

I looked to Kathleen, "Thank you. For everything." I said to her.

"It was worth it… I'm glad you got your brother back."

"And you got your answers…"

"Yeah. But I'm not sure if that makes things better or worse… right now I'm leaning towards worse. I thought it would be easier. Knowing what happened- but. I never could have imagined it was something like this." She said. I could see tears forming. I figured this was a good time to stop. We nodded and started walking towards the impala.

"Well thank God we went with my plan huh Dean? Or we'd be making a ten mile hike back to town."

"Yeah yeah yeah.. you okay to walk?" He asked noticing how hard it was to move. You don't realize how much you move your torso when you walk. I mean shit. I got legs, why is the upper half of my body even moving right now?

"I'm fine Dean. I just wanna get to baby."

"Okay." He said not pushing it.

I felt Sam come up behind me, whispering to me. "You know I could give you a piggy back?"

"Really?" I asked, shocked that he offered, "I'm not as little as I was at 11 Sam."

"Yeah, I'm not worried. I can handle it." He said getting down one knee so I didn't have to jump so far to get on.

It hurt like hell and I had to bite my lip hard enough to draw blood so that I wouldn't yell, but once I was situated and didn't have to move anymore the pain let up a little.

We got to baby and hauled ass back to the room. Dean insisted I stay in the car while he packed up quickly and checked us out. We were on the road for a few hours before we decided to stop elsewhere and bunk down for the night so we could clean mine and Dean's wounds up.

Dean went first, cause I was not ready or willing to let anyone near my ribs right now. Dean's wasn't bad, it was a nasty burn, but he has had much worse. It didn't take Sam long to clean it up and start putting on some cream and a bandage. I knew my turn was coming up and I was getting ancy.

"I'm gonna pee." I said getting up and walking to the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror and tried to lift up my arm. It pulled the skin and hurt like hell, I only got it halfway up when I had to stop. I tried to pull up my shirt but it was most definitely burned into the wound. Mother Fucker! I've had some pretty nasty bang ups but nothing has ever hurt this bad. Shit. I didn't want the boys to touch me. I didn't wanna touch this thing. It hurt way too much.

I gave up on my ribs and moved to unhook my bra inside my shirt and slide it off out of one of my sleeves. That sick fucker who had a grip across my chest left bruises, you could practically make out the hand print going all around my left boob. Sorry piece of shit. I'm glad he's dead. I'm gonna be sore for days. Damn hillbilly.

I walked back out and saw Sam putting on the last piece of tape to hold down Dean's bandage. Dean put a shirt back on and walked to get a beer. I stood there, waiting for it. I watched Sam closely. He gathered up the dirty gauze and threw them away, pulling fresh new ones out of the kit. He grabbed the saline bottle and looked to me. He must have read my face.

"Come on Emily. Its not gonna be that bad. I'll be careful.. I promise."

"Umm. You know… I'm thinking its not that bad. Lets just hit the hay! Take off in the morning." I tried to nonchalantly persuade Sam.

"Emily. Its going to get infected… I'm not stupid. If you were able to get that shirt off you would have by now, which means you can't. Which means its bad. It needs to be cleaned."

"But Sammmmmmm…." I whined. "It hurts… I don't want to.. please…"

"Kiddo. I have to. You know I have to."

Dean walked over, "Here… take two and let him at least clean up your face. By the time he's done those oughta kick in." He handed me a couple of pills.

"What are they?" I asked sheepishly.

"Uh.. Painkillers?" He looked at me like I was stupid. "You seriously think I would poison you or something?"

"No.." I said looking down at my feet.

"Come on. Take em. Then let Sam clean you up." He handed me a water bottle.

I took the two pills and hesitantly walked over to Sam, he cleaned up my face which he was sure to take his time on. Letting the pills have some time to kick in.

"Okay Kiddo.. Its time." He said looking at my like he felt bad.

"Are you sure… Maybe we should wait till tomorrow…" I said backing away from him slightly, I kept going until I bumped into someone… Dean. Damn.

"Emily. You won't move your arm. You barely can walk. I swear. It's gonna hurt like hell but it will be better afterwards." Dean tried to convince me.

"Come on kiddo.." Sam pleaded. I just stared at him.

Dean sighed behind me, "Quit being such a baby." He pushed me forward.

"I'm not a baby you ass." I turned and growled to him as Sam put a hand on my shoulder, pulling me towards the table in the kitchen.

"Need me to pick you up?" he offered pointing at the table.

"No." I said at him like a cranky child, pulling away from him. "I'll do it myself."

I lifted myself onto the table and had to bite my lip again. Mother fuck shit! I laid on my right side. So Sam could easily reach the left. I took a deep breath and nodded my head.

He gently lifted my arm and pushed it up over my head out of the way, making me whimper.

"Sorry kiddo…"

He started at the bottom and rolled up my shirt as far as he could before I yelled out.

"Ah! Stop stop stop stop.. please. Just. Stop." He quickly let go and sighed.

"Em I've gotta pull it off. Its stuck on there, he burnt it to your skin."

"I know…" I whimpered to him.

"Dean.." Sam called over to him, they must have had the rest of the conversation with their eyes and not their mouths. I fucking hate it when they do that. I'm not fucking stupid. I get that when you don't talk in front of me, its either about me or about something you don't want me to know… I swear. They just think they're sneaky.

Dean walked over and straddled the chair backwards, sitting so his face was right in front of mine. He reached out and held my hand.

"You're gonna have to suck it up kiddo." He said nicely as possible, knowing I was in serious pain. I'm not afraid of needles, or pain usually. But this was something that topped the pain charts for me.

"Okay Em. Here goes. I promise I'll get it off fast." He said before pouring some saline over it to loosen the fabric from the scabbed up wound. It stung even though it was basically just water. I tensed and squeezed my eyes shut as tightly as possible.

"Just do it already!" I said quietly.

I could feel every movement, his hands went back to the bottom of the shirt that was halfway rolled up at this point, he pulled up on it and it literally felt like my skin was ripping off. I held my breath and tensed, squeezing Dean's hand as hard as possible.

"Almost off babygirl." Dean whispered to me squeezing my hand back.

"Stop.. Please.. " I begged. Sam kept going this time, Dean grabbed my other hand so I wouldn't push Sam away.

"Please De.. Please stop." I was almost crying. It felt like the poker was still against my skin, it burned and ripped, and burned.

Finally it stopped and I let out a breath.

"Is it off?" I asked opening my eyes and looking at Dean. He looked at me weird.

"Yeah kiddo its off, but he's still got to pick some pieces out okay? If he doesn't It'll get infected."

"I'm sorry Em." Sam said quietly from above me.

"Its okay Sammy… Its not your fault." I said making sure he knew I wasn't mad at him.

(Dean's POV)

It literally breaks my heart to watch this. This girl is tough as hell, if she's acting like this then I know its bad, which means its already probably developing some sort of an infection, or it wouldn't be so tender. Mine hurt like hell, but it wasn't as deep or big as Em's. And they didn't burn my shirt to my skin.

Sons a' bitches. I'd love to resurrect their asses so I could personally kill them myself one at a time. Especially the one who put his hands on her. I saw some bruising when Sam finally got her shirt off her rib cage. He rolled and tucked it so she wouldn't be laying there exposed, I could easily make out that the small bit of the bruising I was seeing just under her chest were the size of his fingertips. I'd love to rip them off.

I shouldn't have let her come with me. I shoulda had her stay with Sam. She would have been safer, I couldn't even protect her from people… regular psycho people. Now here she is laying on the table trying not to cry.

Sam grabbed the tweezers and went for a piece of her shirt in the deepest part of the wound, she winced and squeezed my hand. Her face was turned red, when he pulled it off she let out the breath she was holding. Her face relaxed for a moment and a single tear rolled out of her still closed eyes, I gently wiped it away.

I don't understand why the pain meds didn't kick in, they're strong meds. I don't know why she's still in this much pain. I would trade places with her in a heartbeat.

It took Sam an hour to clean it all out. It wasn't as deep as I thought it was and I was hoping the tenderness and swelling would go down after we left it alone, I know us picking at it just makes it more inflamed. Sam sat her up and wrapped her ribs tight.

(Emily's POV)

Thank God it was over. It was the longest hour of my life. I was exhausted and the pain meds dean gave me didn't touch the pain. I tried to hold my shirt up over my chest so It wouldn't be in his way but putting any pressure against my left boob made it hurt like hell, it was so sore from his damn death grip. Dean must have noticed me trying not to touch it.

He looked uncomfortable asking but I know he was asking to be sure, "Did he do some major damage or did he just bruise it?"

"Its just bruised, but don't expect me to wear a bra for a few days." I said back just as uncomfortable.

Sam noticed but looked confused, "What the hell did he do?"

Before I could speak Dean cut in, "He grabbed her, held her down while they stuck that thing in her ribs. Apparently we were going to get hunted and she was going to be the prize for later." Dean said his nostrils flaring towards the end.

I watched Sam's face flick to angry and then pity as he looked back at me.

"Its okay, he didn't do anything else. And its neither of you's fault. So don't even go off blaming yourself. Just… forget it happened. Oh and we are sure as hell not telling Dad." Last thing I need is him on their ass making them feel bad. Its not either of their fault, it was that sick freak's and he's dead. I'll heal.

I couldn't get comfortable on the bed, I couldn't fall asleep. I don't know how I was still awake. I was so tired. I didn't sleep last night while Sam was away, now I can't get comfortable enough to sleep tonight. I just want sleep.

Sam must have heard me getting out of the bed because he woke up too, damn I was trying to be quiet. But lets be honest, us Winchesters were not meant to be quiet.

"Em how are you even still awake. You should be passed out for hours." He asked me.

"I can't get comfortable."

"Wanna try what we used to do when you were little?" he asked.

"Sammy I'm not 5 anymore, I doubt it will work."

"What do you have to lose… besides more sleep." He asked me. Well. He's right there.

"Okay.." I said sitting up slowly. Sam grabbed the pillow off Dean's bed that he wasn't using and I grabbed the one I was using. Sam sat up with his back against the headboard and laid one pillow in his lap, I laid down on my right side so that there wasn't any pressure on the other side of my ribs. Then I took my pillow and wrapped my arms around it like it was a teddy bear or something. Sam pulled the covers up all the way up my back to make sure I was warm enough but didn't tuck them because I would always get to hot and wake back up.

I pulled the ponytail holder and dropped my messy bun. Sam played with my hair till I was finally drifting off to sleep. He was right. It works.

When we were little Dad would leave for a hunt and sometimes take Dean with him. So it would be just me and Sam. I used to get scared at night because both Dean and Daddy were gone, and I never felt as safe. So I would lay there awake, letting noises get me all worked up cause I couldn't fall asleep. I would eventually get so scared I would wake up Sam too, stopping him from getting any sleep, so he would always lay my head in his lap and play with my hair till I fell asleep. Works like a charm, even now at 16 I'm like putty anytime someone plays with my hair. It always puts me straight to sleep.

It was a week before Dean let us get back on the road. He said I wasn't leaving until I was healed enough to "dress appropriately in public." I couldn't put on a bra the first few days, and even after I could manage to get one on I still couldn't stand to have tight shirts on against my ribs. So I wore the boy's shirts all week long. Sam had to change the bandages two and three times a day all week but the infection is gone and it doesn't hurt near as bad as it did. Dean almost dragged me to a hospital the second night but thankfully I talked him out of it.

I was so ready to get back in baby and hit the road. With our life its weird staying in one place too long. Guess we're just a bunch of rolling stones in this family.


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for all the love and the reviews! "Dad" Is in this chapter, So I am really excited to work on it and add him to the story!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Hello?... anyone there?" Where the hell am I. Why is it so dark in here?

"Emily…" what the hell…

"Hello?! Who's there."

"Emily. Emily!" Daddy?

"Dad! Daddy?!" Where the hell are the lights in this place?!

I keep feeling around for anything solid, anything to give me some direction, a clue as to where I am or what the hell is going on. Its cold. My feet are bare on what feels like concrete in the winter. I'm wearing some… dress. I don't even own a white dress. Yet I'm wearing one? I mean. What the fuck. I would never wear white. I spill everything I eat.

"EMILY!" The voice was loud, but distant. More importantly it was my daddy's.

"Daddy! Daddy where are you!" I screamed. Running.

"Emily…" he was getting farther and farther away from me.

"Daddy wait! Don't Leave!" My voice started to crack.

"Emily Anne Winchester." I froze. I don't recognize this voice.

I am looking around, but still. No one's there, it's dark, but not so dark that I can't look down and see my own hands and feet. Where the hell am I.

"Oh Emily…. Poor little Emily." The strange voice said again.

"Who are you?" I asked with a hard edge, trying to bluff out whoever this is. Every instinct I have is telling me I'm in danger.

"You look so much like your mother." It chuckled at the end.

"I said who are you!"

"Just one thing missing my dear."

Suddenly I had this pain in my stomach. I reached down and grabbed it… blood. A lot of blood. I started heavy breathing and tried to reach around for something to hold pressure against the wound with so I wouldn't bleed out.

"Emily!"

"Daddy! Daddy please! Help me!" I started to cry.

"Emily.." The voice was getting closer, but the bleeding was so much. So fast.

"Dad! I'm over here!" Why can't I see him. What the hell is going on!

I'm holding pressure with my hands and trying to control the bleeding till he gets to me. He'll know what to do. Daddy can fix anything. I start to hear the footsteps come towards me. My daddy's. Big feet in boots, running towards me.

"Emily! Baby!" He's close.

Suddenly I'm looking down. Wait….

"Daddy…"I said quietly.

He looks up and his face turns to horror just as I start to feel fire erupt from around me. He starts to cry and screams my name, while I scream back for him to help me.

I jump up gasping for air as if the fire took it from me, I flailed my arms and dropped to the ground with a thud from the bed.

"Emily! Em!" There were hands grabbing me, pulling me so I kept pulling away in the opposite direction.

"No.. Daddy.. Daddy!" I looked around for him in the dark, but he wasn't there. His footsteps no where to be heard, his voice absent.

"Emily! Hey!" Suddenly a light flicked on, Sam standing next to it. Wait… I'm in the room? Was that? Seriously… a dream? No… It was so real.

"Hello?! You with me Em?" I looked ahead to the person who was shaking me.

"….Dean. Wha-… Where's dad?"

Dean and Sam look to each other as if talking about me without having to actually talk about me.

"Emily dad's not been with us for months now…" Sam said walking over to squat down beside Dean. They both tower over me as I'm tucked in the corner.

"Kiddo you okay?" Dean asked me. My eyes still wide as if I wasn't comprehending that what they were saying were actual words. Since when do fucking dreams get that real. I've had some scary ass dreams. But- this. It was different.

"Em?..." Sam asked again reaching for me. I shrinked away from his hand.

"I-I.. I uh I need a minute!" I said scrambling towards the bathroom to get away from them.

I ran to the bathroom and lifted my shirt, my stomach was bright red across the middle. No blood. No wound. No scar. Just.. red, and felt warm. I looked at myself in the mirror. It was just a dream Emily. Chill. I splashed water on my face and closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths in attempt to slow my racing heart down. My whole body felt hot.

There was knocking at the door. "Em… Open up." It was Dean. He wasn't asking.

"Just.. One minute Dean." Geez. What if I was taking a shit or something? You gonna break it down?

"Emily Anne open the damn door. NOW." He started to rattle the door knob. I don't know why but this caused my blood to boil in an instant. Rage ran red hot through my veins in a matter of seconds. I flung the door open.

"What the hell is your problem! Can I not have one fucking minute without you breathing down my fucking neck! You're always fucking on my ass! I can't have two minutes to think without you pushing me around! You're not dad Dean! So back off!"

He stood there, stunned by my outburst.

"Emily... what is wrong with you?" Sam asked quietly and genuinely concerned.

"Me?! What's wrong with me? What bout you! I'm not the one going fucking darkside! Okay?" Damn. That was cold for even me, but at this point it was almost like I wasn't in control of what I was doing. What. The. Hell.

I shoved past Dean and stomped to the door grabbing my boots on the way out. I slammed the door behind me. Neither one of the boys followed. What's going on… What's wrong with me, all this from a dream? I feel out of control…

Its freezing outside. I'm in boxer shorts and a cami… looking like a fucktard with boots on. I keep walking and walking. But then I finally get control of my legs and stop. I turn around and start walking back to the motel. I'm not even sure what to say. How could I go back and say anything after what I've already said. How could I say that to them… guilt starts to wash over me.

(Dean's POV)

"Sam…. She didn't mean it man. Come on you know how she is… Something just spooked her or something."

Sam looked at me and nodded, but I could tell he wasn't agreeing on the inside.

I wish I could begin to understand what the hell just happened. One minute Em is asleep in the bed on the other side of me, the next she's screaming for Dad, I couldn't get her to wake up. Then she flung herself up and out of the bed, like she just saw a ghost.

"Dean. She said it… So somewhere, deep down, she meant it." He says back to me disappointed.

"No.. Sammy she didn't. You know she says shit she doesn't mean. Somethings wrong okay…. You saw her. That's not normal Em. Something's wrong. She didn't mean it I promise."

I reached into the fridge and grabbed a beer, then handed one to Sam. I took a seat on the bed across from him.

"Was it a nightmare?" He asked me.

"I don't know man. It was something. I mean I don't know what else it would be if it wasn't a nightmare."

"So what made her so angry… normally nightmares scare the shit out of her but I've never seen her act like that."

"Me banging on the door I guess... She wasn't angry till I pushed her. She was mad at me. Not you."

Not that I would ever admit it but the kid's words cut deep. I've always tried to protect her, watch out for her. Maybe I am a little overbearing, but how could I be any less concerned after the things we fight every day. It's my job to keep her safe. When she was little she would run to me and never let go. She always wanted to be with me or Sammy. Always having a hand on one of us as if we might run away when she let us go. With Dad she was different. She was always different when he was around. She clung to him desperately, because she knew he was leaving again. He was always leaving. Her whole life. He would come and go. She craved his attention. I guess she knew she never needed to fight for mine, but she would go to drastic measures to get dad to pay attention to her. She would fall down on purpose, thinking I didn't notice. Just so he would pick her up and kiss her. When she started to hunt she just wanted to make him proud. Now he's not even here to see it. He's fucking up all over again, and like a soldier… I'm following orders. Cleaning up his messes as I go.

I always tried to make up for that, but the truth is I need her around as much if not more than she needs me. I'm just not the lone wolf kind. I don't do well alone. I need someone, and she's always been there. When everyone else leaves, she stays. Even after shit like this… I know she'll come back.

"Do you think she's okay." Sam asked me.

"Yeah. She's just walking it off. She'll be back soon."

"Its freezing out there Dean. She's barely wearing any clothes. She'll get hypothermia before she decides to stop being stubborn."

Just as I looked up to reply to him the door opened- Em, my sweet Emily was back. I could tell by her face, she had calmed down. Whatever riled her up was long gone. I could tell she looked guilty as hell as she stared at Sam from the doorway.

"Sammy… I'm so sorry." She said crossing the room and wrapping her arms around him. He returned it and looked to me like he was confused. Thrown off by the sudden mood swing.

"What the hell was that Em?" I asked her calmly.

"I just… had a nightmare. I don't know… It was so real." She looked spooked.

"What was it about?" Sam asked her. Obviously Dad was part of it.

"…I'm not sure you want me to say it outloud."

"Oh god… it wasn't a sex dream was it?" I asked cringing.

"No Dean…. It wasn't." She replied rolling her eyes, still holding onto Sam. Just like when she was little.

"What was it kiddo." Sam prodded a little.

She looked down to the floor before speaking, like she couldn't look at us and say it.

"Well. I umm… It was dark. And I could hear Dad… but I couldn't find him. I was running after him."

"…But then there was another voice. It was a man, but no one I knew… it was. Scary. I just. Felt like I was in danger, I couldn't see him either. He knew mom…." She stopped talking for a second and looked up to me. I could see Sam's arms get a little tighter around her. I felt like my heart stopped, then got loud in my ears. Mom…

"Then. I was bleeding from this huge cut across my stomach. Screaming for dad… when he finally got there… I was uh.." She bit her lip and contemplated how to say what was coming next. I felt ice roll over me, every hair standing up.

"I was on the ceiling… I could feel the fire around me. He looked up at me… like.. I don't know. Then I woke up and someone was holding me down, shaking me. I just… it was a reflex. I'm sorry Dean. I didn't know it was you." Her voice was barely a whisper by the time we finished. Somethings wrong. Seriously wrong. This isn't some normal dream. But telling her that will just scare her again, I need to talk to Sam alone.

"Yeah. I sorta got that." I said sarcastically. "So uhh. Where did the rage monster come from? Your time of the month or something?"

"Seriously Dean…"

"Well you do get pretty grumpy. Although that seemed like grumpy on steroids."

She looked down ashamed, I should probably stop adding fuel to the fire but damn this Winchester mouth problem.

"I'm sorry Dean. I don't know what happened. I was just trying to process what was going on, I guess I was on edge and all the adrenaline was still going and I just snapped. I didn't mean it… any of it." She looked up to Sam's face again.

"I know kiddo, It's okay." He said back trying to smile at her, but she and I both knew she couldn't take those words back.

"Come on, lets get back in bed. You're freezing." Sam said to get off of the subject. Smooth.

(Emily's POV)

It was only 2 in the morning… we all went back to bed after the boys finished their beer. I fell back asleep with no nightmares to follow. Maybe It was just a freak thing, bad memories from the old house catching up to me. But. Something about it felt weird… felt off. It felt like someone was watching me this morning. I don't know why. Or who… but. Somethings not right.

We were in Chicago investigating some kind of murder. A woman was killed in her apartment. Pretty gruesomely. The strange part was her alarm was set. The boys are going in dressed as men from the Alarm company, I giggled at their outfits and wasn't so upset that I got to skip out on this one. They looked like idiots.

Dean and Sam haven't brought up last night. But Sam's been kinda quiet. I can't believe I said something like that to him. How could I? Knowing how much this whole thing was scaring him…. I couldn't have picked a worse thing to say. I think the words "I hate your filthy guts" would have hurt less.

The boys weren't in there for more than 30 minutes or so, leaving me time to listen to a little music and sing a few songs to myself. Picking out some new ones for my next show. Ironically I've found one I like called "Burning House."

"Hey Em, check this out. It was a symbol drawn on the carpet in blood. Recognize it?" Dean asked as he handed it back to me.

"No. I don't think I do." I've never seen this thing before.

"Did you not recognize it either Sam?"

"No. Never seen it in my life."

"Well how bout Em and I make a food run and you get to researching this thing nerd boy."

Sam rolled his eyes at Dean but didn't argue. Good thing too, I'm hungry. As always.

When we dropped Sam off I climbed up front with Dean. Needing to talk to him alone.

"Hey De."

"Yeah?"

"Do you think… do you think my dream was a little too weird maybe? I can't.. I don't know. I feel different. Like somethings wrong. I felt like someone was watching me this morning."

He looked at me concerned and didn't answer right away.

"Yeah. Actually I do think its weird. I talked to Sam about this morning and he agrees. But we have no clue what it could be… " Well that's just peachy. A new fucking mystery to add to the Winchester drama.

"But I promise no one was watching you. Me and Sammy woulda seen it if someone was hanging around. Promise." He said reassuringly.

"Yeah I know. I really am sorry about last night Dean. I mean you do get on my nerves sometimes being on my ass, but I never meant to say it like that. I get why you do it."

He gave me a half smile, "Kiddo that wasn't you talking. I can tell the difference. I don't know why me banging on a door got you that angry, but I know not to take things to heart when you get like that." Thank God for that. Cause I say some messed up shit.

We couldn't find anything on the symbol, but Dean was in the mood to have some fun so we hit the bar. As usual. But this time It was a little more intentional seeing as how the dead girl used to work there.

I sat with Sammy while Dean did his thing with the blonde bartender. She was cute, but he could easily do better. I think he just wanted a two for one and her friend was staring at his ass like it had a face. He turned and grinned before walking over to us.

"Did you get anything? Besides her number?" I asked.

"Dude, I'm a professional. I'm offended that you would think that…. Sorta." He grinned and held up the napkin with the numbers written on it.

"You mind doin' a little bit of thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?" Sam said sarcastically.

"Huh? Look, there's nothing to find out. I mean, Meredith worked here, she waited tables, everyone here was her friend. Everybody said she was normal. She didn't do or say anything weird before she died, so—what about that symbol, you find anything?"

"Nope, nothing. It wasn't in Dad's journal or in any of the usual books. I just have to dig a little deeper, I guess."

"Well, there was a first victim, right? Before Meredith?"

"Right. Yeah. His name was, uh—his name was Ben Swardstrom. Last month he was found mutilated in his town house. Same deal—the door was locked, the alarm was on."

"Is there any connection between the two of them?"

"Not that I can tell—I mean, not yet, at least. Ben was a banker, Meredith was a waitress. They never met, never knew anyone in common—they were practically from different worlds."

"So, to recap, the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's phone number." I said grinning at Dean.

All of a sudden Sam stood up, uh?

"Sam.. hello?" I tried to get his attention. But he just walked over towards this blonde chick.

"Meg?"

"Sam!" She jumped up and hugged him. Who the fuck is this bitch hugging up on my brother. Me and Dean follow him over.

"Oh, my God! What are you doing here?" she asked him.

"I'm just in town, visiting friends."

"Where are they?" She asked curiously.

"Well, they're not here right now, but what about you, Meg? I thought you were goin' to California."

"Oh, I did. I came, I saw, I conquered. Oh, and I met what's-his-name, something Michael Murray at a bar." Its Chad dumbass. Me and Dean moved to stand right beside Sam, but neither him or "Meg" paid us any attention.

"Who?" Sam asked puzzled.

"Oh, it doesn't matter. Anyway, the whole scene got old, so I'm living here for a while." She said before Dean cleared his throat, signaling that we were here too. Ya know. Not just decoration.

"You're from Chicago?" Sam asked her.

"No, Massachusetts—Andover. Gosh, Sam, what are the odds we'd run into each other?" Eww. Quit looking at my brother like that. There's something about this girl. I don't know.

"Yeah, I know, I thought I'd never see you again."

"Well, I'm glad you were wrong." She smiled.

Dean cleared his throat again, louder this time. Finally they both turn to look at us.

"Dude, cover your mouth!" Meg says give him a bitch face. Oh fuck no! Don't cop an attitude with my brother.

"Or what?" I said giving her one right back.

"Yeah, um, I'm sorry, Meg. This is, uh—this is my brother Dean and my sister Emily."

"This is Dean and Emily?" She asks with eyebrows raised. Yeah bitch. I'm Emily. And you're pissing me off.

"Yeah." Sam said oblivious to my rising temper.

"So, you've heard of me?" Dean said grinning at her. Ew De. Please have some better taste.

"Oh, yeah. I've heard of you. Nice—the way you treat your brother like luggage."

"Fuckin excuse you?!" I chirped up as Dean looked more confused then offended.

"Why don't you let him do what he wants to do? Stop dragging him over God's green earth! And you.." She turned towards me, "Why are you always on Dean's side. Its not nice to play favorites ya know." OH FUCK NO! The anger surged through my body and without warning my fist flew and landed square on her nose. She stumbled back and Dean picked me up walking off.

"Hey bitch why don't you come say that again?! Huh! I don't think I fuckin heard that right!" I yelled as Dean dragged me out of the bar. Everyone's attention was on me and Sam was helping a now bleeding Meg. What in the fuck! He helps her? Really! Oh he is SO gonna hear about this one.

"Dammit Emily! Quit kicking me!" Dean growled while pushing me through the doors that the bouncers happily held open for him, he had my arms locked behind my back and an arm wrapped around my torso. I wish he wasn't so damn strong. I'd go back in there and finish what I started.

"What the hell was that!" He yelled releasing me once we got far enough into the parking lot.

"Her fucking mouth! She had no right to get in our shit! So I shut her up!"

"Emily.. You can't just run around punching people in public! You're a 16 year old in a bar! The last thing we need is someone calling the cops on us for assault!"

"Yeah well let em come! I'll show em what an assault is.." darting to get back inside, but Dean's arms grabbed and pulled me back again. He pushed me against the impala and stood in front of me so I couldn't get past him.

"ENOUGH!" He yelled inches from my face.

I huffed and leaned my head back against the car. I knew he was right. But she pissed me off, and we all know how I can be.

"Look kiddo I didn't like her either. But she was Sammy's friend. And you most definitely just broke her nose. He's gonna be pissed and we're gonna have to listen to it." This riled me up all over again.

"Oh please! He obviously talked ten pounds of shit about us to her! He's gonna be pissed? HIM! Really? I could give two shits less if he's pissed. I haven't had my turn with him yet!"

Like clockwork Sam came out the door, I laid eyes on him and didn't remove the death glare as he walked closer, Dean moved away from me and stepped towards him… I didn't move.. Yet.

"What the hell was that Em?!" He said getting closer, he wasn't closing the distance fast enough for my liking so I took a few steps forward quickly before Dean could grab me and landed a swift right hook on his jaw.

"You tell me Sam! Who the fuck is that?" I yelled as he grabbed his face and Dean grabbed my arms pinning them behind me again. I have a feeling this time he's not letting go.

"Dammit Emily!" Sam growled at me. Oh please. I love tapped you compared to what I'm gonna do to her if her skinny blonde ass comes out the door.

"If you would have just chilled out and let me explain I would have told you!"

"Yeah well her snarky little comments told me more than enough!"

"And what was she saying? I treat you like luggage? What, were you bitchin' about me to some chick?" Dean suddenly added him. Good. I'm glad he's pissed too.

"Look, I'm sorry, Dean. It was when we had that huge fight when I was in that bus stop in Indiana. But that's not important, just listen—"

"Well, is there any truth to what she's saying? I mean, am I keeping you against your will, Sam?"

"No, of course not. Now, would you listen? Geez.. you're almost as bad as Rocky over here." Sam said gesturing to me.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I think there's somethin' strange going on here, Dean."

"Yeah, tell me about it. She wasn't even that into me." He said much calmer… Really Dean?

"No, man, I mean like our kind of strange. Like, maybe even a lead."

"Why do you say that?" I asked still glaring at him.

"I met Meg weeks ago, literally on the side of the road. And now, I run into her in some random Chicago bar? I mean, the same bar where a waitress was slaughtered by something supernatural? You don't think that's a little weird?"

"I don't know, random coincidence. It happens." Dean added.

"Yeah, it happens, but not to us. Look, I could be wrong, I'm just sayin' that there's something about this girl that I can't quite put my finger on."

"Really cause I got all five on her pretty quickly…" I added, earning another glare from Sam.

"Well, I bet you'd like to. I mean, maybe she's not a suspect, maybe you've got a thing for her, huh? you're thinkin' a little too much with your upstairs brain, huh?" Only Dean would turn this situation sexual. I seriously think the blood doesn't flow all the way upstairs.

"Do me a favor. Check and see if there's really a Meg Masters from Andover, Massachusetts, and see if you can't dig anything up on that symbol on Meredith's floor."

"I'll dig that bitch a grave…" I mumbled.

"What are you gonna do?" Dean asked.

"I'm gonna watch Meg."

"Yeah, you are." Dean laughed. Ew. Gross. She's fugly.

"I just wanna see what's what. Better safe than sorry."

"All right, you little pervert."

"Dude… just take Em and go."

"Actually I need to go back in, I seem to have forgotten something." I said innocently. This time both of the boys glared at me.

"Yeah yeah yeah.. I'm going." I said turning towards the impala and pulling out of Dean's grip.

Dean and I went back. He looked up Meg, cause we all know I wasn't going to do it. After she checked out he went to working on the symbol. I stewed for a while before deciding to dig deeper on the victims… trying to find a connection. I may have something… but I seriously hope I'm wrong.

Sam called and got an update from Dean, but I didn't share my findings with either of them until Sam got back to the motel room. He had some news of his own. Turns out Meg here is into some demonic shit. I KNEW I didn't like her. Bitch.

Dean had found the symbol, well. With my help. Turns out it's a symbol that controls ancient demonic shadow spirits called daevas. They are some nasty fuckers. Vicious and out for blood.

After listening to the boys share all the details with each other I decided now was as good a time as any.

"So uhh. I found something too that I think you both should know." I said getting their attention.

"What?" Sam asks.

"The first victim, the old man—he spent his whole life in Chicago, but he wasn't born here. Look where he was born…"

"Lawrence, Kansas." Sam says reading the papers I handed him.

"Mmhmm. Meredith, second victim—turns out she was adopted. And guess where she's from."

"Holy crap."

"Yeah."

"Nice catch Em.." Dean added.

"I mean, it is where the demon killed Mom. That's where everything started. So, you think Meg's tied up with the demon?"

"I think it's a definite possibility." I said thinking back to my nightmare… I have a dreadful feeling somehow its connected to what's going on here.

"But I don't understand. What's the significance of Lawrence? And how do these Daeva things fit in?"

"Beats me. But I say we trash that black altar, grab Meg, and have ourselves a friendly little interrogation." Dean said.

"No, we can't. We shouldn't tip her off. We've gotta stake out that warehouse. We've gotta see who, or what, is showin' up to meet her." Sam said.

"I'll tell you one thing. I don't think we should do this alone." I said quietly looking up to Dean.

Dean tried calling Dad… no answer. Shocker.

"Voicemail?" Sam asked him.

"Yeah… what'd you get from the car?"

"I ransacked that trunk. Holy water, every weapon that I could think of, exorcism rituals from about a half dozen religions. I'm not sure what to expect, so I guess we should just expect everything."

"Big night." Dean said quietly. It makes me nervous when he speaks so low.

"Yeah. You nervous?" Sam asked him.

"No. Why, are you?"

"No. No way." Well I'm glad they're so calm. Cause I'm flippin shit right about now. But I wouldn't dare say that outloud.

"God, could you imagine if we actually found that damn thing? That demon?" Sam suddenly says.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, all right?"

"I know. I'm just sayin', what if we did? What if this whole thing was over tonight? Man, I'd sleep for a month. Go back to school—be a person again."… what?

"You wanna go back to school?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, once we're done hunting the thing." He said not even looking up from what he was doing, missing the hurt expression I couldn't hide even if I tried.

"Huh." Dean says.

"Why, is there something wrong with that?"

"No. No, it's, uh, great. Good for you."

"I mean, what are you gonna do when it's all over?" He asked us both.

I didn't bother to answer, I just looked down.

"It's never gonna be over. There's gonna be others. There's always gonna be something to hunt."

"But there's got to be something that you want for yourself.. Em?"

"Yeah, I don't want you to leave the second this thing's over, Sammy." I said getting angry again.

"What's yalls problem?"

"Why do you think I drag you everywhere? Huh? I mean, why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?" Dean asked him.

" 'Cause Dad was in trouble. 'Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom."

"Yes, that, but it's more than that, man. You, me, Em and Dad—I mean, I want us….I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again." I want that too. So bad. More than anything.

"Dean, we are a family. I'd do anything for both of you. But things will never be the way they were before." Ouch… I could tell by the look on Dean's face his heart just split in half.

"Could be." He replied sadly.

"I don't want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you're gonna have to let me go my own way."

"Yeah… sure." I said ending the conversation, feeling just as heartbroken. He's just gonna leave again. I know we were going to leave him at Stanford after Jericho but… with all that's happened. I just thought he was back.

I was glad to get to the warehouse and be able to focus on the job. I couldn't wait to hit that bitch again. It made me even more determined to get her.

We had to climb up an elevator shaft to get to her, when we got there, Dean pushed me over the edge and I found us a hiding spot, the boys followed. We were sitting, waiting. Guns drawn.

"Guys… Hiding's a little bit childish, don't you think?" Fuck.

"Well, that didn't work out like I planned." Dean said.

"Why don't you come out? Sam, I have to say, this puts a real crimp in our relationship."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"So, where's your little Daeva friend?" I asked her.

"Around. You know, that shotgun's not gonna do much good."

"Oh, don't worry, sweetheart. The shotgun's not for the demon, although I think my sister here could take you down again without it." Dean replied. I grinned. Balling up my fists.

"So, who is it, Meg? Who's coming? Who are you waiting for?" Sam asked.

She laughed, then looked up to Sam. "You."

Suddenly we were being thrown around the room. I watched Dean get knocked out and felt claws rip down my arm. I turned to hit something, anything, but I couldn't see it. Then everything was black.

I woke up to Dean's voice.

"Hey, Sam? Don't take this the wrong way, but your girlfriend...is a bitch."

"This, the whole thing, was a trap. Running into you at the bar, following you here, hearin' what you had to say. It was all a set-up, wasn't it? And that the victims were from Lawrence?"

"It doesn't mean anything. It was just to draw you in, that's all."

"You killed those two people for nothing." I said.

"Hunny, I've killed a lot more for a lot less."

"You trapped us. Good for you. It's Miller time. But why don't you kill us already?" Dean asks her.

"Not very quick on the uptake, are we? This trap isn't for you.

"Dad. It's a trap for Dad." I quickly said putting together the pieces in my head. Shit. We fell right into it. Now I really wanna beat her ass.

"This tickles ya know.." she said to me lightly touching her nose. It pissed me off and I pulled against my ropes, shit. My knife is in my pocket, I need to calm down and reach for it.

"Oh, sweetheart—you're dumber than you look. 'Cause even if Dad was in town, which he is not, he wouldn't walk into something like this. He's too good." Dean quickly interrupted.

"He is pretty good. I'll give you that. But you see, he has one weakness."

"What's that?"

"You. He lets his guard down around his boys and his little babygirl, lets his emotions cloud his judgment. I happen to know he is in town. And he'll come and try to save you. And then the Daevas will kill everybody—nice and slow and messy." Her words turned my blood to ice. Nothing can kill my Daddy, he's invincible.

"Well, I've got news for ya. It's gonna take a lot more than some….shadow to kill him." I quickly said.

"Oh, the Daevas are in the room here—they're invisible. Their shadows are just the only part you can see."

"Why you doin' this, Meg? What kind of deal you got worked out here, huh? And with who?" Sam asked.

"I'm doing this for the same reasons you do what you do—loyalty. Love. Like the love you had for Mommy—and Jess."

"Go to hell."

"Baby, I'm already there." She said going to straddle Sam and sit on his lap. I want to rip her off.

"Come on, Sam. There's no need to be nasty. I think we both know how you really feel about me. You know, I saw you watching me—changing in my apartment. Turned you on, didn't it?"

"Get a room, you two. There's a minor present." Seriously. This is what you're worried about at the moment?

"I didn't mind. I liked that you were watching me. Come on, Sammy. You and I can still have a little dirty fun." She started kissing my neck and my stomach churned, making the grip on my knife slip and it hit the floor.

"You wanna have fun? Go ahead then. I'm a little tied up right now." Suddenly her head flies around to me, she heard the knife. Shit. She walks over to me and grabs it, shaking her head and throwing it before turning back to Sam.

"Now, were you just trying to distract me while your brother cuts free?"

"No. No. That's because I have a knife of my own." Sam headbutts her and jumps up out of the ropes.

"Sam! Get the altar." Dean yelled. Sam ran and tipped over the entire table the altar was set up on. Suddenly the shadows were everywhere, but instead of attacking us they all charged Meg, chasing her and forcing her out the six story window. She landed with a thud. Good riddance bitch.

"So, I guess the Daevas didn't like being bossed around." Sam said untying me and Dean.

"Yeah, I guess not. Hey, Sam?" Dean said.

"Hm?"

"Next time you wanna get laid, find a girl that's not so buckets-o'-crazy, huh?"

"Please." I added.

We left in a hurry before anyone saw that body and called it in. We were back to the room in minutes, when Dean reached for the door I got this feeling. Oh my god… Is it.. could it be.

Dean flung the door open and found a man standing in the dark.

"Hey!" Dean yelled reaching for his gun while Sam hit the lights. But I already knew who it was.

"Daddy!" I yelled as Sam hit the switch. I ran and jumped into his arms, he caught me with a huff and squeezed almost as tightly as I did. I didn't get down or let him go. I was a pathetic 16 year old girl wrapped around my daddy like a 6 year old and I had no shame about it. His scent hit my nose and his warmth wrapped around me. I don't know why but I just started crying uncontrollably.

"Dad?" I heard Dean say behind me.

"Dean… Sam."

"Hey Dad. Sam said.

There wasn't a dry eye in the room at the moment. I finally got down and sucked up my tears. Dean hugged dad, then as dad let go and went to Sam Dean wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close. We watched them.

"Dad, it was a trap. I didn't know, I'm sorry." Sam said.

"It's all right. I thought it might've been."

"Were you there?" I asked.

"Yeah, I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. She was the bad guy, right? "

"Yes, sir." We all said unanimously.

"Good. Well, it doesn't surprise me. It's tried to stop me before."

"The demon has?" Sam asked.

"It knows I'm close. It knows I'm gonna kill it. Not just exorcise it or send it back to hell—actually kill it."

"How?" Dean asked.

Daddy just smiled. Oh how I love that smile. It melts my heart. My daddy. He's back. I feel more whole and complete then I have in years. Having all 3 of the men I love in the room with me.

"I'm workin' on that." He said.

"Let us come with you. We'll help." Sam begged.

"No, Sam. Not yet. Just try to understand. This demon is a scary son of a bitch. I don't want you caught in a crossfire. I don't want you hurt."

"Dad, you don't have to worry about us."

"Of course I do. I'm your father… Listen, Sammy, last time we were together, we had one hell of a fight."

"Yes, sir."

"It's good to see you again. It's been a long time."

"Too long.." Sam says. They wrap each other in a hug and I can see the tears coming down Sam's face. My heart swells with love seeing them finally make up. Seeing them together again, me and Dean look to each other and he pulls me in a little tighter. Maybe we'll get our family back after all.

Suddenly Dad is flung away from Sam into the cabinets, and I see another shadow charge Sam.

"No! Daddy! Sam!"

Me and Dean both break and run for them but something throws me into the wall, when I hit the ground there are claws digging into my calf. Dragging me away from Sam.

"Shut your eyes! These things are shadow demons, so let's light 'em up!" Sam yells throwing a flare.

"Dad!" Dean called helping him up and trying to carry him out.

"Sam get Emily!" Dad called back, suddenly I'm in Sam's arms as he runs down the stairs behind Dean and dad.

"Over here!" Dad called leading us to the impala and his truck.

"All right, come on. We don't have much time. As soon as the flare's out, they'll be back." Sam said, I moved to stand closer to Dad but It was hard, my leg is cut deep.

"Wait, wait, wait! Sam, wait. Dad, you can't come with us." Dean suddenly said looking at Dad and me.

What? NO. No. I'm not losing him again… no. I just got him back. No!

"What? What are you talkin' about?" Sam asked. I was frozen, terrified. I gripped onto my Daddy as if I'd die if I let go.

"You kids—you're beat to hell." Dad said looking us over. We were all cut up pretty bad.

"We'll be all right." Dean said, trying not to get emotional.

"Dean, we should stick together. We'll go after those demons—" Sam interrupted.

"Sam! Listen to me! We almost got Dad killed in there. Don't you understand? They're not gonna stop. They're gonna try again. They're gonna use us to get to him. I mean, Meg was right. Dad's vulnerable when he's with us. He—he's stronger without us around."

"Dad—no.. After everything- after all the time we spent lookin' for you—please. I gotta be a part of this fight." Sam pleaded. I turned my face and buried it in my daddy's chest. Clinging to him, his arms wrapped around me.

"Sammy, this fight is just starting. And we are all gonna have a part to play. For now, you've got to trust me, son." He says to Sam.

"Okay, you've gotta let me go babygirl.." he said trying to pull my arms away from him.

"No! Daddy! Please! Don't leave!" I cried, gripping his shirt tighter.

"Emily you gotta go.. its not safe with me." He said.

"No! I can handle it! Please daddy! Don't leave me!" Suddenly there were arms grabbing me from behind, pulling me away as Dad grabbed my wrists pulling them from his shirt until I lost my grip.

"No daddy! Daddy!" I cried as he walked backwards towards the truck.

"I'm sorry baby.. I love you. I love you all. You boys becareful, take care of your sister. Her leg needs stitches." He said over my cries.

"Yes sir" they both said.

"Noo.. Please.." I sobbed in Dean's grip as I watched the truck drive away, the headlights disappearing as he turned the corner.

Just like that he's gone again. Dean is talking but I can't really hear what he's saying. He picks me up and slides me into the backseat. I lay down in the seat and don't even bother trying to control the crying. My daddy's gone. Again. I just got him back. I just had everything I wanted. All in one room, and then just as quickly as I got it, it was ripped away from me again.

Dean starts the car and we haul ass before the deavas find us again. I don't know how long I cried before I dozed off. It felt like hours, but I'm sure it wasn't since the sun still wasn't up when my eyes opened while being carried into a motel room.

Sam set me down on the bed closest to the door and I just layed there, not crying. Not talking. Not sleeping. Just listening to the noise around me as the boys carried in our stuff and began patching each other up.

"Emily…" Dean whispered sitting on the bed behind me. I didn't respond. He sent my daddy away. He was the one who told him to go. I don't even wanna look at him, so I don't.

"Kiddo. I gotta stitch up your leg. Go put on some shorts." He said quietly.

I didn't speak or look at him, I just got up, grabbed my bag and walked into the bathroom.

It didn't take me long to change and wash the blood off my hands. I washed my face and pulled up my hair before walking out. The cold water helped the puffiness some, but it was still obvious. I walked out with my eyes on the floor.

"Em.." sam tried. But I ignored him too. If I talk to him I'll have to talk to Dean.

I set down the bag and went to the table. Propping up my leg and staring at the pile of supplies in front of me.

Dean must have gotten the hint, he just sighed as he sat down next to me and stitched up my leg. It didn't hurt near as bad as the burn. I mean yeah, it hurt. But stitches I was used to, I didn't flinch. Not even when he poured the alcohol over it. I could feel two sets of eyes on me the whole time, but neither of them pushed.

Dean finished wrapping my leg and I grabbed a blanket and a pillow off one of the beds and walked over to the couch. I wasn't exactly in a sharing mood.

I closed my eyes and pulled the blanket to me close, pretending that it smelled like whiskey and cologne… just like my daddy.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: Thanks for all the love! It thrills me to get new reviews!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

The next morning was rainy. It was storming outside. I love storms, I love them even more when they fit my mood. Which today they definitely do. I went to sleep without a word to either of my brothers. After everything that happened last night I didn't want to fight with them. I didn't want to be consoled by them. I wanted to be away from them. Away from everyone.

I rolled over and realized it was only 5 in the morning, barely any light coming through the window. Both boys are still asleep, shockingly. Usually they're having to pry me out of bed.

I quietly got up and got changed. It was chilly, but not cold. The rain would get cold though, so I made sure to put on a hoodie over my sports bra. The shorts and running shoes would be fine, I won't get cold if I keep moving. I left my phone since it was raining. I made sure to open and close the door as quietly as possible before pulling the hood over my head and jogging down the road. My leg was still tender, but I wanted to run. I wanted to clear my head. And the pain was bearable, not fun by any means, but bearable.

I know some people probably think I'm crazy for running in the rain. But it was my favorite time to run. No one else would be crossing my path, no one would want to stop and talk to me, the cars are more careful to drive around me.

I probably ran a good three miles before turning around and heading back to the room. Back to the boys. I know its coming. They're gonna wanna talk about last night. But I don't. There's nothing left to say. Daddy left and they just let him do it. No one but me tried to stop him. No one but me tried to keep us together. They just stood there… and daddy. Well. Daddy just drove away, again. You would think I would be used to that by now, but I'm not. It was different when we were younger. I knew he was coming back soon. I knew he would come back after this hunt or that hunt. But now, I have no clue when I'll see him again. He disappeared for months. Now he's going to do it again.

I'm not even sure its worth trying to call him anymore. We know he's out there. He doesn't call us. So why bother trying to call him anymore. He's not going to answer. He's not going to talk to us. As if one fucking phone call would get us killed. Please.

He says he's trying to protect me, protect us. But that's a load of shit. He sends us on hunts, has us face monsters and demons on our own. Not there, watching, protecting, helping. So if he was really that worried about us he would keep us close to him. I know the truth. He wants to be reckless. He wants to act like a damn fool and not feel bad about it because we won't be there to watch him get himself killed.

I guess if I had to pick a word to describe my current mood at the moment it would be apathetic. I don't care anymore. I don't care to try, I don't care to be upset. I don't care to get angry over it. I don't care to talk about it. I don't care to find him again. I just don't care at the moment.

When I got back to the motel room it was light out even with the cloud coverage. If I had to guess then I'd say I've been gone an hour or two… somewhere in between maybe. I'm soaked head to toe. But I feel better. I always do after a run.

When I open the door I look over to the beds. They're empty. Baby is out front and Sam is sitting at the table so I guess that must mean that Dean is in the bathroom or something. I walk to the fridge and grab out a water bottle, chugging it out of breath.

"Hey kiddo." Sam says looking up from his laptop.

"Hey." I said not looking back.

(Sam's POV)

"How was the run?" I asked her.

"Fine." She said going to look out the window.

She's not saying much but at least she's talking. This is the first time she's spoke since dad left last night. I watched her heart break right in front of me, not being able to do anything about it. I could have pushed her to talk last night, could have held her while she cried, could have done something. But I didn't. I was too wrapped up in my own shit.

Dad's close to it. Close to finding what killed Jess, and Mom. It burns me up that he won't let us help. But it was clear last night was not the time to make an argument out of it. It was hard enough for Dad to leave with Emily falling apart. I didn't need to end it on a bad note with us too.

Dean's beating himself up for last night. I wish he wouldn't. It wasn't his fault. We didn't know they followed us, we didn't know dad was going to be there. He thinks he put Dad in harms way. Then he had to tear Emily away from dad and hold her down so he could leave. It kills him when she cries, so I know putting her through that hurt him just as much if not more.

I don't know what happened when I was gone but things changed with them. I mean he's always been the protective big brother. But when he came back and got me and we hit the road I could tell things were different. He watches her like a hawk now. It hurts him when she hurts.

Last night she was definitely hurting, therefore so was he. She wouldn't sleep on a bed with either of us. She hates sleeping on the couch, yet she went straight for it. I was even more shocked to wake up and see that she was gone. I automatically woke up Dean. He was scared for a second until he realized her running shoes weren't in her bag. He knows her too well I guess, because he instantly relaxed. I'm not used to this Emily. The one who goes off on her own. I'm used to the girl who followed me around, holding my hand everywhere we went. The girl who wasn't afraid to cry to me when she was upset. The girl who didn't have to carry a gun every time she left the room.

Dean got out of the shower and Emily stood up getting a towel to take one next. She was soaking wet, a hot shower would warm her back up.

Dean didn't try to talk to her, he just waited till she shut the door and then sat next to me with a coffee.

"She say anything?"

"Yeah. Not much… but she didn't ignore me. That's something right?"

"Yeah I guess. We should hit the road soon. Not sit around and dwell, it'll just make things worse for her."

"Dean you need to talk to her." He looked up at me confused.

"Why me? You talk to her. She's gonna yell if I do it."

"Why would she yell at you?"

"Because I'm the one who told dad to leave. You think she forgot about that or something?" No. I know she didn't. Its why she won't even look at him.

"Still. If she needs to get angry to get over it then let her get angry. The longer you wait the worse it will be."

"I know… " he said sighing.

Emily came out of the shower and sat down turning on the tv. We pretty much sat in silence till Dean suggested we go grab some lunch.

(Emily's POV)

"Chicken strips and fries please." I said smiling to the waitress.

Dean got a burger and Sam got a chef salad. Typical us. Ive said minimal words to the boys all afternoon. But its fixing to start. I could feel the tension since we sat down at the table. Dean's not gonna let us leave this restaurant until he says something about it.

"So uh Emily…" There it is. Like clockwork.

I decided to finally look at him.

"Yes Dean?"

"Are we gonna talk about this kiddo?" He said nervously. I think he brought me in public because he was afraid of the scene I would make if it was just us.

"I don't really know that there's anything to say." I said honestly.

"You're not mad at me?" he asked surprised.

"For what? Telling dad to leave again?" his face dropped when I said the words.

"Em I'm sorry. We had to let him go. He wasn't safe with us… I wish I could bring him back kiddo. I really do, but for now we're better off on our own. I love you and I know this is hard, but please just trust that I did this to keep us all safe." It was weird to hear Dean talk so sincerely. So calmly. So rationally. Normally that's a Sam move. But I guess I get it. Or like I said earlier I'm just not sure I care anymore.

"Okay. Love you too." I said calmly before looking down at my drink again.

Dean was shocked when I looked back up, his face frozen, not blinking. "….That's it?!" He finally said.

"Um. I'm sorry did you want me to be mad at you or something?" I asked confused.

"No. no not at all, but I was expecting something more than 'okay'… I mean you were a mess last night. You haven't even looked at me all day, and now you're just… okay with it all?" he asked completely flabbergasted.

I looked over to Sam who looked pretty unsure of what was going on. I know what they were expecting. I get it. But I don't have the energy to get angry right now. Maybe another day.

"I just don't care anymore Dean… Dad doesn't want us with him. He doesn't want to talk to us. Nothing I can do about it. So whatever. I'm done."

He just looked at me for a long minute and then shook his head up and down slightly. We ate lunch in silence, me still not wanting to talk and them not sure how to react. We payed for lunch on our way out and walked towards the impala. I could tell Dean still looked upset. I'm not exactly happy with him, but I don't want him miserable. Before we got to the car I stepped in front of him and wrapped my arms around him. He returned it and kissed the top of my head. I looked up to him and smiled to make him feel better.

"You wanna hit the road kiddo?" He asked as we got in.

"Nahh. We're already payed up for the night. How bout I cook dinner?"

Sam laughed, "Seriously Em? You're gonna cook?"

"What's that supposed to mean?!" I turned to him arms crossed offended.

"Nothing… I just. I never imagined you could cook." He said with his hands up. As if trying not to detonate a bomb. Seriously. I know I get angry sometimes but I'm not that scary.

"Just run by the store on the way back. You two need to restock the med kit anyways. We've used it quite a bit lately."

"Yeah. I guess we have. How's the leg. I was shocked that you were able to run on it this morning. Pop any of my stitches?" Dean asked.

"Its fine. It hurt, but not bad enough to stop me from going. And no. I think your stitch work is still intact."

We got to the store and split, I went straight for the meat. Hmm. We eat plenty of hamburgers. I eat chicken all the time…. Pot roast sounds good. I grabbed a large roast, carrots, potatoes, onions, and all the seasonings I would need. I even picked up a loaf of French bread to go with it. Once I was done I ran over to get a pan big enough to fit it all. Thank goodness for aluminum pans. Disposable and cheap.

I met the boys over by the health and beauty supplies. When I found them they were just about finished as well. Dean caught my eye and pointed to the next isle over, the one full of tampons.

"Need anything while we're here? Cause next time I'm not going in the gas station to get them." He said pretending to cringe at the memory. I chuckled and Sam turned a little red in the face. Dean plays it off like he's seriously disturbed but in all honesty he's been running to get me stuff since it started a few years ago. He's used to it by now.

Standing around in the store at the tampon isle makes me think back to the first time. Poor Dean. Poor poor Dean… he was a mess.

 **FLASHBACK**

Dean: 23

Emily: 13

"De… I don't feel good."

Dad left us a few days ago and said he'd be gone all week. Just wants us to bunk down and hang out till he gets back. Me and Dean have just been hanging out watching movies and playing video games. Which he always kicks my ass at. I've been feeling off all day. I'm freezing cold. My boobs hurt. And now my stomach is cramping. I pray its not the flu starting… Dad had to take 3 weeks off the job last time I had the flu. It was miserable. I'm hoping its just because I ate so much food the last day or so. I guess I eat when I'm bored cause I have nearly cleared us out of all our snacks.

"What's wrong Em?" Dean asked walking over to the bed I was currently tucked into.

"I don't know. I'm cold and it hurts…"

He pulled back the blankets to put a hand on my head and the back of my neck.

"Geez kiddo how many shirts are you wearing?" He asked trying to get to the back of my neck under my 3 shirts, one hoodie, and the two blankets.

"I don't feel a fever, what hurts?" Well. How do you tell your brother your boobs hurt?

"My stomach." Was all I was willing to admit to.

"I don't know kiddo. Want me to come cuddle up with you?" He asked looking at me like I'm all pitiful. I am all pitiful.

I just nodded and moved over giving him room to slide in, he leaned against the headboard and grabbed the remote. I snuggled up to him, laying my head against his chest. He was warm. He wrapped an arm around me and we watched Jaws. I love that movie.

We were halfway through Jaws 3 (the shittiest one) when I got the urge to pee. I got up and told him not to bother pausing it for me, I'd be right back and honestly wasn't worried about missing anything. We've seen these movies a dozen times at least.

Oh. Ohhhhh no…. is that… blood? No. Seriously?! Then it all clicked in my head. The eating. My boobs. The cramping. Oh man… I didn't know I'd freeze my balls off for a week straight too. This is miserable already.

Then it hit me. I need to go to the store… I gotta get a few… things. Oh no. Dean. He's not just going to let me leave. Especially when I told him I was sick. SHIT! He's going to want to know why. And he's not going to let me go alone.

It was times like these that I really wish I had my mom. I wish I knew her. Or I wish I at least had ONE female influence in my life. Someone that could tell me what to do. What to say. I mean I catch on to things pretty easily, the internet and TV have filled in a lot of gaps for me when it comes to being a girl. Being raised by a dad and two brothers wasn't exactly helpful when it came to buying my first bra, shaving my legs, or trying to put on make up for the first time. Dad almost shit a brick when he saw the bright blue eye shadow I tried. Thankfully Sam was willing to help me look into something not so trashy, he was a good brother and tried to help. We figured it out eventually. He made me swear not to tell anyone that he helped me do my make up.

Surprisingly enough, it was one of Dean's trashy dates that really taught me what to do. I actually thought she wasn't half bad. Until dad caught them naked in the impala.

Sam's been gone for two years now, and Dean hasn't had any lady friends over the last couple days and I don't forsee him bringing one around me anytime soon. So this really only leaves me two options. Ask Dean. Or sit in this bathroom for the next week. I'm kinda leaning towards the second option.

But Dean knocking on the door kinda ruined that plan, "Hey come on I gotta pee."

"Go pee outside." I said nervously. Dean must have caught onto my tone.

"Em are you okay?" He asked after a second of silence.

I didn't answer. I was standing there, in the bathroom, with toilet paper folded up in my underwear panicking about what the hell to tell my 23 year old brother. I mean what am I supposed to say? 'Hey bro I got my period mind running me to the store for some tampons?' uhh no. I'm mortified just thinking about it.

Pimples and bras and boys and growth spurts are one things.. We've gotten past that. But this? No.I'm not ready to tell him. Thank god dad isn't here. That would be even worse.

"Em?" Dean asked sounding concerned after my silence.

"I'm fine Dean. Just go watch the movie…" I pleaded.

"Emily what's going on." Dean said getting more serious.

"Nothing!" I yelled!

"Emily open the door.."

"No.. Dean just go away!"

"Emily Anne you have two seconds to open the door before I bust it down!"

I knew I was going to have to open it. I don't even know why but all of a sudden my eyes go blurry from tears, I mean what the hell! You bleed. You cry. You freeze. You hurt. You eat everything… can this get any worse?! Oh wait. I'm going to have to tell my brother so yeah! It can!

"Emily!"

"Okay okay okay!" I said stomping over and opening up the door.

I stared at the floor, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Em baby what's wrong?" Dean automatically dropped the harsh tone and pulled me closer to him.

"Nothing! I just…"

"Just what kiddo?"

"I.. I need to go to the store."

"What for? What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked them all so quickly it just made me cry more.

"Em come on.. shh."

"I just need somethings.." I finally mumbled against his chest.

"Like what? You have got to talk to me here kiddo. You're freaking me out!"

I turned my head and buried it in his chest and sighed. I didn't wanna look at him. I just wanted to hide.

"Umm… girl. Woman. Type things…" I said barely above a whisper.

Dean was still for a second like he was thinking.. then all of a sudden I felt him go kinda stiff, "…Ohhh." He said finally understanding what I meant.

We didn't move for a second, I was so embarrassed. I wanted to go invisible. Dean pulled away and sat us down on the bed. I kept my eyes glued to my feet.

"Em. Look at me." But I didn't move.

"Emily Anne, look at me. Please." He said a little harder.

I finally got the balls to look at him, my cheeks were red and my eyes were teary . He reached up and wiped away a tear keeping his eyes on mine.

"Emily its okay, this was bound to happen kiddo. We both knew it was coming eventually. Its okay to talk to me, you're supposed to talk to me about it. So don't get upset. Its okay."

"No. Its not.. its weird and embarrassing."

"You should never be embarrassed around me, you know I never think any less of you for anything. Especially something like this."

"Dean I have no clue what to do right now… and to be honest neither do you."

"Well… we'll figure it out." He tried to make me feel better.

"Deeee…. It hurts." I said getting teary eyed again.

He pulled me in his lap like he used to when I was little and I hid my face in his neck.

"Well then lets go and get… uh.. I don't really know." He said uncomfortably.

"Me either."

We walked into the store and I felt like everyone was staring. I'm sure its me just being paranoid, but it felt like every person I looked at knew.

Dean stuck right by my side, never once leaving me alone which as uncomfortable as I was doing this with him I'm glad I'm not alone.

We walked over to the tampon isle… holy shit.

"Geez. Why are there so many different kinds?!" He said terrified at the sight in front of him.

"I don't know…" I said just as scared. There was a younger girl stocking on the isle across from us. She had eyes on Dean pretty quickly… then she flashed her eyes to me. I looked down. Then looked back up pathetically at the wall of puberty terror in front of me. I had the urge to hide again and hid my face in Dean's side.

"I'm sorry to bother you… but you look like you could use some help?" I look up to see the cute girl walking towards us.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Actually." Dean said looking even more uncomfortable then I did.

She pulled a pen and note pad from her pocket and started writing something down… then she ripped it off and handed it to Dean.

"Here. Go get those… I'll help her with these." She smiled down at me instead of Dean. I was surprised. She actually seemed like she wanted to help me, not just hit on my brother.

"You good Em?" He asked me.

"Yeah. Go ahead.." I said quietly, I watched him walk away and then turned back to the girl.

"First one?" She asked.

"Yes…" I said shyly.

"Did your mom ever explain to you how to pick these out?"

"No Uhh. Died when I was little."

"Oh hun I'm so sorry.. I shouldn't have asked." She said sympathetically.

"What about a sister? Or an aunt? Or maybe even a friend that's already started hers?"

"No. Just me, my brothers, and my dad."

She looked at me sadly, then she forced a smile.

"Well. Then let me explain to you quickly before your brother gets back, I imagine we don't want to have this conversation in front of him." She giggled, making me laugh too.

She helped me pick out what I needed and explained to me the differences and how and when to use what. Thank you God for putting that woman in front of me in the store.

When Dean came back he had a basket full of stuff, I noticed my favorite candy, my favorite snacks, and root beer. The only coke I really like, I stick to water usually.

We went back to the motel and I got things settled for the night before climbing in bed, I turned over and looked to Dean in his bed, it was dark and I could barely make out his outline.

"Hey De…"

"Yeah Kiddo?"

"Thank you for not making today any worse than it could have been…"

He chuckled, "No problem kiddo. I'm just glad that girl showed up and saved our asses."

"Me too… she was nice De. Of all the women you hit on I can't believe you didn't get her number."

"Well excuse me… I was a little preoccupied with my little sister." He said pretending to be offended.

I giggled. We both quickly fell asleep.

The next day was awful… absolutely terrible. I mean. I don't understand why it gets worse! The pain was unreal!

"Deeeeeean." I groaned. "Make it stop…"

Poor guy. He's been up with me since 5 this morning, I've on off yelled and cried to him all day it seems. He just keeps his cool and does everything for me while I lay in bed groaning.

I feel bad, last night he bought me my favorite foods and drinks. He bought pain meds, an extra soft blanket, fuzzy socks, and this cool re-heatable heat pack thingy he's got wrapped in a towel that he's laying on my belly right now. I love him sometimes.

"Em you can't have any more of those pills for another 4 hours… see if this thing helps."

"Mmkay"

"You wanna watch a movie? I got Jurassic Park.. Scream.. Fast and Furious.. Twister?"

"Twister?" I perked up with grin.

"Yeah." He said grinning back.

"Can I lay on you?" I asked with big puppy dog eyes.

"Do you promise not to yell at me anymore today?"

"…Mayyyybe." I said grinning again.

"Scooch over kiddo." Dean laid on the bed with his back against the headboard. I laid down sideways with my pillow in his lap, the heating pad between my belly and the bed, while dean rubbed circles in my back.

He bent over backwards for me the next few days, and then when Dad got back I made sure to have our mess cleaned up so he wouldn't get in any trouble. He had been so patient with me, which for Dean is hard and I knew that.

I always thought it would be Sam that I went to when this happened. If he was till here it probably would have been, but he's not, and I'm fine with that because Dean went above and beyond to take care of me.

 **END FLASHBACK**

"No De I think I'm good for a while." I said with a chuckle. We quickly moved on. On our way to the check out we passed a kiosk full of cards, I got an idea.

"I'll be right back, start checking out." I said before jogging off.

I ran towards the cookie isle and got the 3 best kinds. Oreo, Chocolate Chip, and Fudge Stripes. I ran back all three cookie boxes in hand and grabbed a deck of playing cards. I see a little poker in the near by future.

When we got back to the room I started the roast. I loved chopping up vegetables. It was normal. It was something relaxing that didn't take a lot of effort but you could focus on what you're doing and forget about everything else going on around you.

I dumped it all into the pan with the meat and broth before going rogue with the seasoning. I set the oven on the low and the timer for 4 hours. Then I grabbed each of the boys a beer, me a root beer, the deck of cards and broke open the three boxes of cookies. Counting them out evenly in 3 separate piles.

"Okay boys. Texas Hold 'ems the game." I called. They walked over to the table and laughed at me. I had the table set beer and all for 3 players

"Emily we could play with actual money, we're not kids anymore." Sam said with an ear to ear grin.

"No. I don't have any money. Besides. This way is more fun." I said with a devilish grin.

"Okay kiddo what's the buy in." Dean asked sitting down and drinking his beer.

"Oreos are 5, chocolate chips are 10 and fudge stripes are 20. Buy in is 15." I explained while shuffling cards like a pro.

3 hours later Dean's cookie pile is embarrassingly higher than mine and Sam's. But this hand I've got a full house. I'm gonna get this one.

I looked up to Sam, he checks. Then Dean. He bets 25. Ha…"All in." I said pushing the rest of my pile into the center of the table.

"I'm out." Sam says tossing down his cards. I focus my sights on Dean. He's got a good poker face, but so do I.

"You trying to bluff me out kiddo?"

"Flip the cards and find out Dean-O"

He flipped em alright… flipped em right into a four of a kind and laughed maniacally as he pulled the last of my cookies to his pile.

"Sorry Em. Can't beat the master." He said leaning back and propping his feet up.

I pushed his feet up in the air successfully tipping him over in his chair. Me and Sam laughed our asses off and Dean glared at me from the floor.

"How much longer on dinner Em. It smells amazing and I'm dying of hunger down here." He asked not bothering to get up yet.

I reached over to his cookie pile and started eating on them. Fudge stripes are the bomb dot freakin com.

"Another hour. Think your insides will rot out before then?"

He stood up and thought about it for a second.

"Nahh. I can hold out."

"You two are something else." Sam said shaking his head.

"Oh come on Sammy you know your life was boring without us!" I said taking another bite. Damn this cookie is good.

"Yeah I guess so." He laughed standing up to stretch.

Dean reached down and took the cookie outta my hand right before I took another bite.

"Dude! There is a table full of cookies and you take my half eaten one?"

"I was only half hungry." He said winking at me. Douche.

I punched him in the gut before taking off so that he couldn't catch me for payback. But he quickly darted after me and we played a game of cat and mouse for about 5 minutes before he tackled me and threw me on the bed tickling me.

"Hey Sammy remember that sister we had?" He asked playfully.

"Hmm. Can't say I do. What was her name again?"

"Ameila maybe?" Dean said.

"Oh yeahh yeahh, what ever happened to her."

"I'm not sure."

"Well Dean if I remember correctly we held her town and tickled her to death!" He said jumping up and helping Dean damn near seriously tickle me to death.

I screamed and laughed till I could hardly breathe.

I pulled out dinner not long after that, letting it rest while I turned up the oven some to make the outside of the bread crunchy.

I caught Dean trying to lift the foil off the roast and slapped his hand away.

"Damn! I just wanted to try it." He looked at me eyes wide. I laughed. Again. Its been a long time since I've laughed this much.

"Go sit down, I'll make you and Sammy a plate. Grab yall a beer and me a water please."

.GOSH. I seriously need to cook more often. This roast tastes fanfuckintastic.

I watched Dean inhale his in a matter of minutes before going back for seconds, me and Sam giggled watching him.

"Em I take it back… I will never doubt your cooking skills again." Sam said pushing his empty plate away.

"Ughhh… so. Much. Food." Dean groaned laying on the bed.

"Yeah. That was well worth the four hours of waiting if I do say so myself."

"You wanna watch a movie kiddo?" Sam asked.

"Yeah sounds good. What were you thinking?"

"Scary?" He asked with an evil look on his face, he knows I'm a chicken shit when it comes to some scary movies. I like the old school slasher ones, like Scream. But these new creepy ass movies get to me.

"Sure if you wanna sleep with all the lights on tonight." I answered with a straight face.

He laughed at me, "Man. Em, I don't get it. You literally fight monsters and ghosts… you hardly ever get scared. But a movie makes you sleep with the lights on?!"

"Not all of them… just certain ones. If I remember correctly someone was terrified when we watched the clown movie… It." I watched as his face went from amused to ashamed.

"Oh shut up." He mumbled. Dean laughed.

"Pick a movie Em." Sam said trying to change the subject.

"Hmm… 10 Things I Hate About You!" I said excitedly.

"Oh come on, a chick flick! Seriously?" Dean said sitting up.

"You said I could pick. That's my pick."

"Well he lied, I'm gonna pick." Dean said getting up and going over to the stack of movies we had in the room.

"Oh yeahhh.." He finally said.

"What?" I asked.

"Get comfy and find out."

We all piled up on the bed directly in front of the TV, Sam and Dean each sitting up against the headboard on each side, me laying down in the middle with my feet between them. I watched the previews curious as to what Dean put in. Suddenly the movie starts and I see Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward. Oh good choice Dean!

"Tremors.. Seriously?" Sam asked.

"Yes. Tremors. This movie kicks ass, Kevin Bacon blows that bitch up!" Dean defended.

"Yeah Sammy. I'm with De on this one. Kevin bacon is pretty fine in this movie, he's no Chris Hemsworth, but he's pretty damn fine." I said grinning to myself before a pillow magically flew at the back of my head. I turned to see Dean pointing a finger at Sam, which I automatically know means he threw it, I threw it back and he dodged it. Asshole.

We watched the movie and I was dozing off by the end of it, I don't even remember getting to see Kevin Bacon make the big move and save the day. I woke up to someone lightly shaking me awake.

"Em.."

"Hmm…"

"Go get ready for bed. Dean's passed out so I'll share with you tonight." Sam whispered to me.

"Mmmm… okay." I slowly pried myself up and got changed and pulled up my hair before crawling into bed. Sam was laying there with the light on reading through something in dad's journal.

"Anything interesting in there?" I asked curling up to him and laying on his chest.

"No. Not really… just curious if there was anything I missed before." He said while putting it away and turning off the light.

"Em."

"Yeah?"

"I had fun today… Thank you for not holding this against Dean, he was having a hard time as it is. You've grown up a lot. I'm proud of you." He said quietly.

"Thanks Sammy… I just figured I could be pissed and miserable that dad left, or I could be happy I still have you and Dean. I'm too tired of being angry. We just… we needed a good day after last night."

"Yeah. We did. I love you kiddo."

"I love you too Sammy." I curled up under the sheet and fell asleep almost immediately, satisfied with finally having a really good day. I wasn't lying when I said we all needed one. This is how it used to be all the time before Sam left, dad would go on hunts and us three would goof off till he got back, or me and Sam would when he took Dean with him. Sometimes he would take Sam instead if he knew it would be a pretty cut and dry case, but he only took me when all of us were going, and even then I did a lot of waiting in the car and staying behind my brothers. I guess those days really are behind us. As much as Dean and I both wanted things back the way they were I think now I finally understand it can't be like that. We've all grown up, not just me.


	17. Author's Note 2

Hey everyone! Wanted to give you all an update. I recently graduated nursing school but I still have to pass state boards to receive my RN License. That test is in a couple of days! That's why I haven't updated yet and won't again till after the test. It's a very stressful time and I'm praying everyday that God gets me through this test! I have to pass or I lose my current RN job and have to wait and pay a lot of money to take it again. I would appreciate all prayers, good vibes, etc for that on Thursday!

I started this story hesitantly, I wasn't sure it was something even worth trying to write. I am humbled and flattered to see people genuinely enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it. I have so many things planned for this story that I can't wait to write! I promise if I pass this test I'll be able to update on a more regular and frequent schedule. I promise you all this is not where Emily's story will end. I have SO much planned for her. A few spoilers.

Yes. You will get to find out what happened to Emily that caused her panic attacks. As far as when exactly… season 2 somewhere. Possibly early season 3 but I'm leaning towards season 2. Please bear with me and be patient on that.

Emily may take some dark roads ahead when she's faced with losing loved ones, I do not endorse some of the things she's going to do, but when you're grieving sometimes people make stupid decisions and they have to hit rock bottom to get back up.

Emily DOES tie into yellow eyes and Sam. She has a very unique roll. I wanted to do something I hadn't seen done yet in another sisfic. (Doesn't mean someone hasn't done it, but I haven't seen it yet.) She and her brothers have no clue as to what it is, and yes she will develop some of her own abilities. But… not until the time comes. There is a rhyme and reason behind why she doesn't have any yet. All will be explained in time. But in the next few up and coming chapters Yellow Eyes will appear and will leak a little information, the rest will primarily be revealed in Season 2 and 3.

Getting new reviews is like a giant motivator to update more faster! You guys who have your own stories understand. Its like a giddy schoolgirl feeling when I see new reviews. They make me feel so good about my writing. Thank you all for the faves, the follows, the reviews, and to all of those just stopping in to read! I can't wait to get past this test Thursday and then I'll be on my way to the beach for a week on Saturday… No worries. I totally plan on writing from my balcony over looking the ocean .


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: SO happy that my test is done and I can get back to writing! I won't know results for 2 days but till then I can keep myself busy ;)

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

We got up and found a case in Texas the next day, we hit the road in our usual Winchester fashion. Me in the back and the boys up front. Sam was sleeping and Dean was singing alone terribly to the radio, not that I mind. He listens to me so I guess it's only fair.

"Hey.. Em. Watch this.." He turns down the radio and whispers to get my attention before placing a plastic spoon in Sam's open mouth. Ew. No telling where that thing came from. He then insisted on blaring the music to wake up Sam, who quickly ripped the dirty and surely nasty tasting spoon out of his mouth.

"Ha ha, very funny." Sam said sarcastically turning down the music and glaring at Dean while I quietly snickered in the back.

"Sorry, not a lot of scenery here in East Texas, kinda gotta make your own." Dean laughed.

"Man we're not kids anymore Dean. We're not going to start that crap up again."

Oh no. Please not this. Us Winchesters have been known to take things one step too far in a prank war.

"Start what up?" Dean asked him.

"That prank stuff. It's stupid, and it always escalates." Always. And usually I always had the worst of it being the only girl.

"Aw, what's the matter Sammy, scared you're going to get a little Nair in your shampoo again huh?" Dean teased.

"All right, just remember you started it. You want in on this Em?"

"Oh helllllll no."

"Oh come on kiddo, your hair eventually grew back." Dean said chuckling to himself.

"Dean. I swear. If you come near my hair I'll gut you in your sleep. Got it?" I warned.

"Ah ha, bring it on bald-spot Barbie!" The last time this happened I ended up with a chunk of my hair shaved off. I mean its funny on a guy. But a girl?! Seriously Dean? It was pure torture.

"Where are we anyway?" Sam asked.

"A few hours outside of Richardson. Gimme the lowdown again?"

"All right, about a month or two ago this group of kids goes poking around in this local haunted house."

"Haunted by what?" I asked joining the conversation and leaning over the boy's seat.

"Apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit. Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. So you really need to be careful on this one Em." Sam said giving me a look.

"What? I'm always careful" I said giving one back.

"Anyway this group of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar."

"Anybody ID the corpse?"

"Well, that's the thing. By the time the cops got there the body was gone. So cops are saying the kids were just yanking chains."

"Maybe the cops are right." Dean said.

"Maybe, but I read a couple of the kids firsthand accounts. They seemed pretty sincere."

"Where'd you read these accounts?"

Sam hesitated and went a little red before answering Dean.

"Well, I knew we were going to be passing through Texas. So, umm, last night, I surfed some local ... paranormal websites. And I found one."

"And what's it called?" Dean asked suspiciously.

" " Sam said. I tried to contain my laughter but failed, earning a bitch face from Sam.

"Lemme guess, streaming live out of Mom's basement." Dean added.

"Yeah, probably." Sam agreed chuckling.

"Yeah. Most of those websites wouldn't know a ghost if it bit 'em in the ass."

"Look. We let Dad take off. Which was a mistake, by the way. And now we don't know where the hell he is, so meantime we gotta find ourselves something to hunt. There's no harm checking this thing out."

I know Sam didn't mean to. But he brought up dad. He brought up dad leaving… again. I've just tried to avoid that situation all together the last couple of days. I didn't know at first that Sam was mad that Dean let dad go. I guess he was trying to play nice for my sake but the other day he actually admitted it. And now again. I just wish he wouldn't bring it up. I quickly leaned back and readjusted in the backseat. Dean noticed, but didn't do anything but meet my eyes and look away.

"All right. So where do we find these kids?" Dean asked trying to get off the subject. Thank you De.

"Same place you always find kids in a town like this."

We made our way into downtown, which in a small town like this one isn't much. Its basically a road with a few restaurants and stores that everyone likes to flock to.

"Alright. Lets all split up and take a place." Dean suggested, which I was shocked by.

"Wait. Seriously?" I asked.

"Yeah. Unless you think digging up some information in broad day light is too dangerous. I'd be more than happy to come along if your scared pumpkin." Dean mocked me. I shot a well deserved bitch face.

"Alright Em, which way you wanna go?" Sam asked.

"I'll take the diner."

When I walked in you could practically feel all eyes on me. I guess its cause I'm not from around here. This is obviously one of those places where everyone knows everyone and no one even places an order because they know the "usual" for each person.

I sat down at a table by the window, noting that it was in eavesdropping range of a table of kids around my age. I sat down and pulled out the menu from its holder. It wasn't long before the waitress came over and politely took my order.

"Can I just grab a shake please? Vanilla?"

"Sure thing darlin." She said walking away.

When I glanced back at the table full of highschoolers one in particular caught my eye. He had piercing blue eyes and red curly hair, and freckles all over his face. He was fine as hell. I smiled at him and looked down biting my lip. When I looked up again he was standing up from his table and walking over to mine. Oh yes.

"Hey. I'm Alec. You must be new."

"Yeah, just passing through actually… I'm Emily." He sat down across from me just as the waitress made it back with my shake.

I fiddled with the straw and held his gaze, holy moly those eyes are like the ocean. I could stare into them forever.

"So what are you doing passing through town in a place like this?"

"Well my brother is doing a research article on a local haunted house and I volunteered to tag along."

"Haunted houses huh? You believe in ghosts?" He asked with eyebrows raised.

"I may have seen a thing or two that could sway me. You?"

"Nah. Not really. Its more likely that someone was screwing with them. People around here get bored easily. Not much to do."

"Surely you find something to keep you busy." I said coyly. Playing again with my straw. He grinned.

"Yeah. I guess I do. Maybe tonight I could show you around?"

"I don't know. I'd hate to bore you with my silly haunted house talk." I said trying to play hard to get.

"Well maybe you can sway me on it. Amazing things can happen when you let yourself have a little fun." Oh the fun I would love to have with this kid.

"Maybe I can." I said leaning down and taking a drink of my shake.

"Sooo.. can we call it a date?" He asked.

"Sure. Here… you can holler me tonight." I said jotting down my number on his hand.

"See you later Emily." He said getting up, I bit my lip and we stood there looking at each other for a minute.

"See you soon Alec." I said before walking away with a little more sway in my hips then usual.

I walked out and started down the sidewalk towards where I knew Sam would be. When I walked in he was interviewing a couple of young girls who looked scared out of their minds. I hung back and just watched, thinking more about Alec then what they were saying. Mmm.

"Hey kiddo get anything?" Dean asked startling me from behind.

"Oh, umm. Not really. Most people seem to think it was a prank or something. Apparently the kids around here get bored and get creative."

"Yeah. That's kinda the vibe I got too… although it looks like Sammy may be getting another story over there." He said pointing to the girls I was watching minutes ago.

"Yeah. They look jumpy." I agreed.

I went back to daydreaming as we sat at a table waiting for Sam to finish…

"Hey. What are you doing?" Dean said snapping his fingers in front of my face.

"What?"

"What's got you so smiley over there." I looked down and giggled.

"Nothing De."

"… Did you go talk to a boy?" He suddenly asked carefully watching my reaction.

"What? No. Come on Dean. I'm just in a good mood today." I tried to lie, but I can't lie to Dean. He always knows.

"Please tell me you didn't give him your number…"

"Uhhh. I thought if he remembered anything about the house it would be the best way to get the information." I tried to cover for myself. But it wasn't going well.

Dean sighed and shut his eyes for a second.

"Emily. I think we need to talk about some thi-"

"Uh! No! Dean. Really. Its okay. We don't." I quickly interrupted knowing where this is headed.

"Emily we have to eventually. You dodged a bullet with that kid going down your shirt cause you told Dad we already did. You've been putting it off ever since."

"Dean. We don't have to. Really. I get it."

"So tell me. What exactly do you get?.." he asked trying to start the conversation.

"Dean! NO!"

"Did I miss something?" Sam said walking over.

"No! Thank God you're done. Lets go." I said getting up.

We wound up getting a lead on some guy named Craig who worked at the local music store and quickly made our way there. When we walked in I froze, Alec. I noticed him before he noticed me and quickly made my way to where I wasn't walking directly with Dean and Sam.

I walked down an isle and as he looked up he smiled and walked towards me meeting me halfway.

"You know Emily, when I said I'd see you later I didn't think it would be so soon. I think less than an hour qualifies as stalking." He joked. I giggled and crossed my arms.

"Yeah well what can I say I'm a girl who knows what she wants and goes after it."

"I can kinda tell." He said grinning.

"So. You like Zepplin?" I asked looking down at the old record in his hand.

"Yeah. Classics are the best."

"I agree."Oh I agree so much. If Dean wasn't so set on me not dating he might actually get along with a guy like Alec.

"We were just on our way out, but. I'll see you again later right?"

"I do believe we have a date, and I don't back out on my word." I said smiling. He smiled back. Oh those beautiful straight bright white teeth make his eyes even more blue if that's possible.

"Goodbye Emily." He leaned down and kissed my cheek before walking away. It sent shivers down my back. I Wanted to kiss him so bad, but instead I let him walk away. Don't want to look desperate or anything.

I walked back over to Dean and Sam who were still looking around for Craig. Oh shit. I can tell by Dean's expression he just caught every bit of that. I walked up and went to stand behind Sam, trying to avoid the inevitable.

"Seriously. You've known dude for an hour and you let him kiss you?!" Dean asked.

"It was on the cheek, he was being nice." I argued back.

"No. He was making a move, he wants you to think he's nice when all he really wants is to get in your pants!" Dean whisper yelled at me.

"Ughh! Why is it you think that every guy I talk to just wants sex Dean?! He asked me on a date, not to meet him at some trashy hotel for a hook up!"

"Because I was a teenage boy and they're all the same!"

"You were and still are a horn dog Dean so I think you're a little biased!"

"Will you two knock it off! This is so not the time." Sam interrupted us, pulling me to stand in front of him so I couldn't argue with Dean.

I heard Dean mumble something.

"I'm sorry care to repeat that?" I asked looking around Sam and glaring at Dean.

"We're on the job, act like it!" Sam yelled pulling me back in front of him.

Finally Craig was finished helping the customer he had been with since we walked in. I followed Sam as we approached him.

"Fellas. Can I help you with anything?" Craig asked.

"Yeah, are you Craig Thurston?"

"I am."

"Well we're reporters with the Dallas Morning News. I'm Dean, this is Sam, and this is our intern Emily."

"No way. Well I'm writer too. I write for my school's lit magazine."

"Well, good for you Morrissey." Dean rudely remarked.

"Umm. We're doing an article on local hauntings and rumor has it you might know of one." Sam quickly said covering our ass.

"You mean the Hell House?"

"That's the one."

"I didn't think there was anything to the story."

"Why don't you tell us the story." Sam prompted.

"Well, supposedly back in the '30s this farmer, Mordachai Murdoch, used to live in this house with his six daughters. It was during the Depression, his crops were failing, he didn't have enough money to feed his own children. So I guess that's when he went off the deep end."

"How?" I asked curiously.

"Well, he figured it was best if his girls died quick, rather than starve to death. So he attacked them. They screamed, begged for him to stop but he just strung 'em up, one after the other. And when he was all finished he just turned around and hung himself. Now they say that his spirit is trapped in the house forever, stringing up any other girl that goes inside."

"Where'd you hear all this?" Dean asked.

"My cousin Dana told me. I don't know where she heard it from. Ya gotta realize, I - I didn't believe this for a second."

"But now you do?" I asked.

"I don't know what the hell to think, man. You guys, I-I'll tell you exactly what I told the police, ok? That girl was real. And she was dead. This was not a prank. I swear to God, I don't wanna go anywhere near that house ever again, ok?"

"Thanks" Dean said as he ushered us outside.

"Well I think its time we pay this house a little visit." Dean said as we walked back to the impala.

When we pulled up to the house I noticed it was small, but creepy. It was solid wood, an older house no doubt.

"Emily I want you with me or Sam at all times. This guy goes after girls specifically. I'd tell you to keep your ass in the car but somehow I don't think you'll listen."

"Oh De you know me so well." I said grinning.

"Can't say I blame the kid for not coming back." Sam Said as we walked up to the house.

"Yeah, so much for curb appeal."

"You got something?" Sam asked before we got inside.

"Ye-ah. The EMFs no good."

"Why?" I asked. Dean pointed overhead at the exposed power lines.

"I think that thing's still got a little juice in it. It's screwing with all the readings."

"Yeah that'd do it."

"Yeah. Come on, let's go."

"Looks like old man Murdock was a bit of a tagger here in his time." Dean said looking around at the many words and symbols spray painted in red and black all over the walls, ceiling, floors etc.

"And after his time too. That reverse cross has been used by Satanists for centuries but this sigil of sulfur didn't show up in San Franciso until the '60s." Sam added. What a nerd.

"That is exactly why you never get laid." Dean said.

"And you're the reason I never get laid." I said sarcastically.

"Not. Funny." He said glaring at me.

Sam and I both chuckled.

"Hey what about this one, you seen this one before?" Dean asked.

"No." Sam said.

"I have. Somewhere." Dean said. It does look familiar.

"It's paint. Seems pretty fresh too." I said rubbing my hand over the symbol.

"I don't know Sam. You know I hate to agree with authority figures of any kind, but ... the cops may be right about this one."

"Yeah, maybe."

There was a sudden and loud noise on the other side of a door in the hallway. Dean approached it guns out and kicked it in. A light flashed in our eyes and as it went away I was surprised at the sight before me. Two nerdy guys holding video cameras. What the hell?

"Oh, cut. It's just a coupla humans." One of em said.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked suddenly.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked.

"Ah-ha-ha. We belong here, we're professionals?" He said as if it was obvious. Yeah. Right.

"Professional what?" I asked.

"Paranormal Investigators. There you go, take a look at that, boys. And for you maam my personal number is in on the back." He said winking at me as he handed it over.

"Oh you gotta be kidding me." Dean said as he balled his hands into fists and took a step forward, but Sam held him back.

"Ed Zeddmore and Harry Spangler? . You guys run that website." Sam suddenly chirped in.

"Yeah."

"Oh yeah, yeah, we're huge fans." I said mockingly, but they didn't catch on to my tone obviously.

"And ahh, we know who you three are too." He said.

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked surprised by his statement.

"Amateurs. Looking for ghosts and cheap thrills."

Dean's face is priceless. I'm trying not to bust out laughing.

"Yep. So if you guys don't mind, we're trying to conduct a serious scientific investigation here." The one named Harry said.

"Yeah, what have you got so far?" I asked.

"Harry, why doncha educate this young lady about EMF?" The other one named Ed said.

"Well..."

"EMF?" I asked playing dumb with wide doe eyes.

"Electromagnetic field? Spectral entities can cause energy fluctuations that can be read with an EMF detector. Like this bad boy right here."

He turned it on and it made flashing lights and weird noises. I turned to the boys and smirked.

"Whoa. Whoa. It's 2.8mg." Harry said.

"2.8. It's hot in here." Ed said as if it was impressive.

Dean whistled just as I said, "Wow."

Sam tried to stifle his laugh.

"Huh. So you guys ever really seen a ghost before, or..." I asked.

"Once. We were, uh...we were investigating this old house and we saw a vase fall right off the table..." Ed said.

"By itself." Harry added.

"Well, we, we we we didn't actually see it, we heard it. And something like that...it uh...it changes you." Ed added changing his story.

"Yeah. I think I get the picture. We should go, let them get back to work." Dean said.

"Yeah, you should. But you sweet cheeks. You can stay."

"No Thanks." I smiled sarcastically before turning to walk out, I could see Dean staring a hole through Ed but he was too busy watching me walk away to notice.

We got back to the impala and Dean was twitching he wanted to go back and hit that perv so bad.

"I swear if he lays a pervy little hand on her I'll rip his lungs out Sam. I swear. I will."

"Chill Dean. She handled it." Sam said taking up for me. Thank you Sam!

"I told you Em. One thing. They only want one thing!"

"Dean shut up.." I mumbled from the backseat putting in my headphones to drown him out.

We went to the library to do our typical research routine. After a few hours we decided it was time to head back to the motel before going back to the house late tonight. When we got to the car Sam held me back from getting in and pointed to Dean with his eyes. Oh geez… what did he do.

Suddenly Dean sits down and turns on baby, but there is extremely loud latin music playing, the windshield wipers are on full blast, and the vents are going like crazy, lights flashing. Dean jumps and shuts if all off, me and Sam laughed.

"That's all you got? Weak. That is bush league." Dean said to Sam as we got in and Sam held up the number 1 as if keeping score. What tards.

We got back to the motel and my phone buzzed in my pocket, Alec.

His text read, "Hey Stalker. How about I come pick you up at 7?"

I replied "Don't come here, crazy brothers on the loose ;) How about we meet up at the diner?"

It buzzed again after a minute or two, "See you there Emily."

I smiled and looked up at the clock, its 5:45, I've got about an hour to ditch these dweebs and get ready to meet up with Alec.

"Hey I'm gonna make a supply run. I've been needing to stock up on a few things anyways. You two need anything while I'm out?"

"No I think I'm good." Sam said.

"Pie?" Dean replies with his eyebrows raised. I laughed.

"Sure thing De."

I went in the bathroom and tried to fix up my make up enough but not too much that the boys would know something was up. I put on my sparkly pocket Jeans and my long sleeve black V-neck. Then I promptly put on one of Sam's old sweaters and tied up my hair in a messy bun so the boys wouldn't catch wind of anything. I could easily let down my hair and ditch the sweater when I got out the door.

"Okay I'll be back after while. Don't wait on me for dinner, I'll just grab something while I'm out." I said going out the front door. Hmm. Maybe that was a little too easy. Either way I pulled off the sweater and quietly opened up the back door to the impala, leaving it in there for when I come back, I would also have to stop at a store and grab tampons or something to prove I went to the store, oh and pie obviously. I took off towards downtown which thankfully was only about a mile up the road.

When I got to the diner it was 5 min past 7, so I looked around and finally landed on a pair of bright blue eyes standing against the wall, waiting for me. He's beautiful. I grinned and walked towards him.

"You know I may have to get a restraining order if I catch you staring at me like that again." He said, I giggled.

"You hungry?" He asked. Always.

"Yeah."

"Okay great lets go." He said getting off the wall and walking to leave.

"Wait. We're in a diner? Why are we leaving?" I asked confused.

Instead of replying, he simply reached out his hand for me to take it. I did.

He led me to an old beat up truck parked out front and even held the door while I got in. He pulled out and headed out of town. This would normally put me on high alert, but something told me I was okay so I just took in the view.

"So are you curious yet?" He asked.

"Yes. I am. But even if I asked I don't think you'd tell me anything so for now I'll just enjoy the ride."

He chuckled, "You're not like the girls around here Emily."

"How so?" I asked.

"Well for one you're not throwing yourself at me."

I laughed, "Does that happen a lot?"

"Not really, but enough. Plus you're chill. You're not uptight and worried about who's watching you do what. You're just going with the flow. I like that."

"Well I guess I just learned early on to let things happen as they may."

"You'll have to tell me about that sometime." Not a chance in hell buddy. You'd be running for the hills.

"Yeah maybe."

"So mysterious. You roll in here outta nowhere and agree to go on a date with some guy you just met. That doesn't make you a little nervous?" He asked.

"Not really. I can handle myself." Because if you try anything I'll shoot you in the dick.

He just watched me for a minute, and I eventually looked away, biting at my lip. His gaze is so intense.

"Okay. We're here." He said after a few more minutes. I looked around and we pulled up to this giant white square in the middle of a field. He pulled up and parked next to a pole with speakers on it. SHUT UP! We're at a drive in movie! Dean never would take me to one because he said they were lame. But I've always wanted to go. My excitement must have showed because when I looked back at Alec he was laughing at me. I tried to compose myself.

"So what are we watching?" I asked excitedly.

"Something scary?" Oh shit. I'm bad at scary movies.

"Scary?" I asked, he again noted my reaction and laughed.

"Don't worry. You're safe in here. Okay… now for the food." He got out of the truck and pulled a cooler out of the back. Oh this guy is so good.

"What's on the menu Bobby Flay?" I asked.

"The best thing a man knows how to make, Sandwiches." He held up a couple of sandwiches and winked causing me to giggle. This guy is too freakin cute. I just wanna kiss him already.

He climbed back in with Sandwiches and a bag of chips, then he pulled out M&M's- De's fave. He really would like this guy.

"What do you want to drink?" He asked.

"You don't happen to have a water bottle in there do you?"

"I do actually." He said grinning. Oh he is perfect.

He climbed back in and set our food out on the dash and our drinks in the cup holders below the middle seat. The movie started and I scooted towards the middle of the seat, knowing it would only be a matter of time before I was hiding from the movie.

An hour later I was practically in this guy's lap. I know how bad that sounds, but trust me Its not like that. I'm just trying to survive this movie. I mean. Its bad enough that I've always been creeped out by dolls, but seriously?! Annabelle? I'll never be in the same room as a doll again.

The woman on the screen jumped as the doll turned its head and therefore so did I, subconsciously tightening my grip on the arm wrapped around me.

"You good?" he asked.

"Yep." I said slightly hiding my face in his chest. Mmmm. He smelled so good, I didn't bother to pull away when the scary scene ended. He didn't seem to mind. He kept his arm across me and didn't move me I sat as close to him as possible.

The movie ended FINALLY. I didn't bother to move at first, but finally decided I should probably scoot back over to my own seat.

"So I take it you're not a big fan of scary movies?" He asked.

"Not exactly."

"I'm sorry. I should have asked first."

"No, really. I'm good. I'm sorry for the death grip on your arm." I said. He chuckled.

"I didn't mind… okay well you're not afraid of the dark are you?" Sorta.

"Nope."

"Good. I wanna show you something." He started the truck and drove out even further away from town. I pulled out the phone I'd kept on silent this whole time. Shit. 3 missed calls from Dean and about 6 texts. 4 from Dean asking where I am, and two from Sam warning me that Dean is flipping shit.

I texted Dean back, "Hey sorry. Phone was on silent. Long lines at the store and I decided to sit and eat. I'm good De. Be back soon." No I wouldn't. But I don't even care what happens. I don't wanna leave yet. I tucked my phone back in my pocket just as Alec turned off the road and started up a trail through the woods.

"Okay is this the part where you feed me to the bears?" I asked.

He laughed, "No. Wouldn't wanna scratch that pretty face."

When we stopped he got out of the truck. I did so hesitantly when he came around and opened my door. I reached down and touched the small gun I had tucked into my boots.

"Come on. Its okay. I promise." He said. OH those eyes! I never want them to leave mine. I took his hand as he reached it out again.

He led us up to a ridge that overlooked a clearing below. It was breathtaking. We were so far from the town that you could literally see millions of stars. I couldn't stop looking up at them- until I felt Alec's hand rub against my cheek, I turned towards him as he leaned down and placed his lips against mine.

This. Is. Perfect.

I let the kiss stay gentle for a moment, but then I got greedy. I grabbed his shirt and pulled my body closer to his, feeling his need intensify as well. This went on for a good few minutes before we pulled away gasping for air. I laughed.

"You know. I'm really not usually a girl to kiss on the first date." Yes I am. But I don't want him to know that.

"Yeah. Usually I'm not the guy to make a move on the first date." He replied.

We both moved to sit and he wrapped his arm around me as we sat looking at the sky again. I could stare at this sky all night.

We eventually wound up talking about nothing really, my head laid in his lap as he leaned back on his hands. I of course couldn't say much but I loved listening to him talk about small town life. Something I knew I'd never have. It all sounded so nice, he sounded bored with it, but to me it was nice.

"Its getting late, I'm sure your brother is waiting." He said eventually. Bringing me back to reality.

"Yeah. We should go. I'm going to be in so much trouble…"

"Where does he think you are?"

"Oh I told him I was running to the store about… 5 hours ago."

His eyes went wide and I laughed. I sat up and moved to kiss him again. He kissed me back and put a hand on my lower back, pulling me closer to him. I never wanted this to end. I got greedy again and moved to straddle him. Its not like I'm gonna bang the guy, but there's nothing wrong with a little touch and feel. It isn't like it was with Jake. This isn't rushed. This isn't forced. This is something I want.

Things started to get heated, I could feel him getting excited, and I didn't wanna stop yet. Its like playing with fire. Seeing how far you can push yourself but still be able to say no. His hands sat on my back, but quickly moved down and cupped my ass, then as he slid them back up he went under my shirt. His hands on my back sent warmth and chills through my body all at the same time, I slightly arched my back pushing my chest against his.

"EMILY ANNE WINCHESTER!" Oh fuck!

The sound of my furious brother's voice made us both jump and separate. Him away and me jumping up and taking a step towards Dean and Sam.

"Dean! Wait wait wait… Its not what it looks li-" I tried.

"Oh I'm pretty sure I know what this is! What the hell were you thinking Emily!"

I turned back to Alec sending him the biggest sorry I could muster with using just my facial expression. He looked petrified. I can't say I blame him. Angry Dean is scary enough, plus he's got angry Sam standing behind him.

"Dean. Please lets just leave…" I pleaded.

"Oh now you wanna leave?!"

"Dean! Please!" I begged.

Suddenly his eyes left mine and looked down to Alec, oh no. No no no.

He suddenly charged over and picked him up off the ground by his shirt.

"Dean stop it!"

"You think you can sneak around with my sister?! Huh kid?"

Alec looked ready to pass out from the fear. Dammit Dean.

"Dean stop! He didn't know!" But Dean wasn't listening so I turned to Sam.

"Will you stop him already?! He's gonna drop the poor kid off the cliff!"

"Yeah well maybe it'll teach him a lesson!" Sam snapped back.

"Sam! Seriously!" He huffed but went and pulled Alec away from Dean.

He got really close to his face and spoke so lowly I almost couldn't hear it.

"I suggest you get the hell out of here, before I drop you off the cliff myself." He pushed him and just like that Alec was gone.

I turned to Dean. Furious.

"You know. If you were't such a fucking asshole I would have told you where I really wanted to go. But no. I can't even fucking look at a guy without you going fucking nazi on my ass!" I screamed at him.

"I suggest you drop the fucking attitude! You're in enough trouble as it is!" He screamed back.

"No! I'm sick of this shit! I'm sick of you scaring off every guy I like! Its ridiculous! I'm fucking 16 years old! Every other girl my age is dating!"

"You're not like every other girl Emily! Dammit! You don't get it do you?! You're a hunter! You don't get to keep relationships! It doesn't work! And your my baby sister! I'm not gonna stand around and watch you get your heartbroken over and over again! I'm not gonna watch you get hurt over and over again! And I sure as hell never wanna sit in a motel, listening to a police scanner say there's a dead girl in a haunted house and have no idea where the hell you are! NEVER again!"

I froze. Now it makes a little more sense…. Not only the fact that he's freaking out some girl is dead and he thought it was me, but also why he doesn't let me get involved. He's right…. Look at Sam and Jessica. He finally found someone, and our lifestyle got her killed.

"I'm sorry Dean." I said looking down.

"No. You're not sorry yet. But you will be. Lets go." He walked towards me and shoved me towards the car.

"Dean. Stop." Sam said.

I turned around and shoved him back.

"Stop fucking pushing me around! You're not dad!"

He stepped forward and shoved me again, this time knocking me on my ass. I was shocked. Dean has never put his hands on me before. He's never gotten this angry at me. Part of me wanted to burst out in tears, the other part wanted to punch him, and another part just wanted to run away.

"No. I'm not. But I fucking raised you like one! And I'm not gonna stop now just because you think you're an adult! Cause you're not I still make the rules! I still get a say in things! I'm taking the lead in this family. So suck it up or leave!" He said furious. He sounded just like Dad did the night Sam left.

"Dean that's enough!" Sam yelled stepping in between us.

"Fuck you." I said getting up and getting in the backseat, slamming the door behind me.

I sat there and watched the boys argue before getting back in, no doubt over our little fight we just had. When the door opened it was Sam who spoke.

"We have a job to do, some girl is dead. Think you can get your head on straight enough do your job?" he asked looking at me.

"Yeah." Was all I said. Dean started the car back down the trail and out on to the road. It wasn't long before we were back at the house. Watching the scene unfold in front of us as they pulled out the girl's body. They're thinking suicide, but I know better. We waited till things calmed down and parked a ways off, walking back towards the house in the cover of the trees.

"I guess the cops don't want anyone else screwing around in there." Sam said as we noticed the two patrolmen watching the place.

"Yeah but we still gotta get in there." Dean said.

Suddenly we hear whispering and rustling in the leaves not far from us. Shut up.

"I don't believe it." Dean says as he too looks over and spots the two idiots from earlier today, cameras and all.

"I got an idea." Dean said, then he rised up slightly and turned towards the cops with his hands cupping over his mouth.

"Who ya gonna call!" He yelled before ducking, successfully giving away the dweebs hiding spot, we all snickered as the cops chased them.

We walk back into the house and Dean pulls out his flashlight shining it on the same symbol he found earlier today.

"Where have I seen that symbol before? It's killing me!"

"Come on, we don't have much time." I reminded him rudely, I was still pissed at him.

We went down to the basement and I watched as dean picked up some red goo in a jar and turned to Sam.

"Hey Sam. I dare you to take a swig of this."

"What the hell would I do that for?"

"...I double dare you." Idiots. I swear. Sam just shakes his head looking away.

There were noises nearby which put us all on alert, but when we turned and watched Sam swing open the cabinet door we all relaxed as rats scurried away. EW!

"Arghh! I hate rats." Dean said as they ran past his feet.

"You'd rather it was a ghost?" Sam asked.

"Yes."

As I looked up Dean got his wish. Mordechai had appeared behind Sam rising an axe, I screamed to alert him and Sam turned shooting him twice, but he didn't go anywhere, when Dean fired he suddenly disappeared.

"What the hell kind of spirit is immune to rock salt?" I asked

"I dunno. Come on. Come on come on!" Dean said rushing us back up the stairs and out of the house, but Mordechai blocks our path swinging at me knocking me back down the stairs.

Dean pulled me back on my feet as Sam stepped in front of me. Mordechai turned and attacked Sam again, Sam dodged and yelled.

"Go! Get outta here! "

We ran past the front door but I ran face first into something else. What the fuck! It was a camera with a nerd attached to it.

"Get that damn thing outta my face!" I yelled pushing past him.

"Go go go!" Dean yelled from behind me. Suddenly the two nerds are frozen staring at Mordechai.

"Sweet Lord..." Ed starts.

"…of the rings. RUN! GO GO GO " Harry finished for him. We were in the cover of the trees again by the time they took off running, right into the arms of the cops that chased them earlier.

"Look, there's a...look. There's a man over there...I saw...where'd he go?" Harry tried.

"Boys come on." The cops said pulling them away.

As they walked away I finally took a deep breath and laid back on the ground, as did Sam and Dean, us all trying to catch our breath before walking back to the impala.

On our walk back I was hanging back a distance from the boys for obvious reasons, but Dean noticed quickly and slowed his pace.

"Em. I'm sorry… I just panicked when we heard the call go out and you were still gone."

"Yeah. Whatever." I said back before quickening my pace to catch up with Sam.

Dean didn't try to talk to me again till we got back to the room. I showered and changed and walked out to see both boys sitting at the table, as if they were waiting for me.

"Oh god. What is this?" I asked.

"Just… come sit down Em. Please." Sam said. I hesitantly walked forward and sat down across from them, pulling my knees up in the chair and wrapping my arms around them.

"Emily we need to talk." Dean said. Oh geez. This again?!

"Dean. We already had this discussion. NO. We don't need to talk about this."

"Kiddo. You're 16. Its way past time that we have this conversation… I can't believe Dean hasn't already done it." Sam said looking at Dean accusingly.

"He didn't have to Sammy. I kinda filled in the blanks on my own. No need to bring it up. Seriously."

"And how exactly did you do that?" Dean asked.

I turned to him shooting a bitch face.

"Dean you can't hide your porn stash for shit. Plus you sent me to a public school for a case like twice. You think kids don't talk?

Sam turned to him, "Seriously Dude?! You let our sister find your porn stash!"

"Well I didn't know!" Dean tried to defend himself.

Sam shook his head and turned back to me.

"Emily. We're not stupid. If you've snuck out to do it once, you'll sneak out to do it again. We just want you to be safe if you have se-"

"Sam! Stop!" I yelled. Dean flipped his head around as if trying to telepathically tell Sam that I'm never allowed to have sex and how dare he suggest it.

"I get it okay!"

"No. Its not okay! We have to know for sure that you get it! God knows what woulda happened if we hadn't showed up! He was all over you!" Dean yelled.

"Oh my god Dean! No! He wasn't! He was nice, and sweet, and didn't make a move at all! I DID!" I yelled at him frustrated that again he tried to make every guy a bad guy.

"Emily you just met the kid!" Sam yelled back. "Don't you understand how STDs work?! You don't know what the hell that guy has! Did you even have a condom!"

"Sam! No. I didn't! I wasn't going to screw the guy! I'm not just gonna toss my virginity to the first guy to take me on a real date! I'm not that stupid!"

"Emily." Dean turned to me. "We're just trying to make sure you know to be careful… When you get" he was so uncomfortable saying this "… in the moment… things happen. You don't always expect them to, but they can. You need to be prepared."

"Yes Dean. I get that. I know how a condom works."

"Well do you have any?" He asked.

"….No." I replied looking down at my feet.

He got up and got into this bag, what the hell is he doing? He's not seriously…. No. He wouldn't.

He walked back and sat down, then he tried to hand me the stack of condoms he pulled out of his bag.

"Ew. Dean. No. I'm not taking those…"

"Please. For the sake of my sanity. Take them." He begged. This is so embarrassing. Its bad enough with one brother. But I have them both watching me. I reached out and took them without making eye contact.

"Do you need me to explain how they work or anything?" Sam asked.

"Oh god no. Please. Sam I get how they work." I begged going red in the face all over again.

"Okay."

"Emily. Those are not a free pass to go have sex. I'm still gonna do everything I can to stop that from happening. Ever. But IF… IF… in a million years. IT ever did happen. I want you to be smart." Dean said.

"….Can we put an end to this conversation now?" I asked looking back up at him.

"No."

"Dean come on!"

"Emily… I'm sorry about tonight. I never should have shoved you like that. I would murder another person if they did that to you. I just was so afraid you got hurt."

I looked down again, "I know Dean. I'm sorry I lied." I knew he was sorry too, but it just. I don't know. It was different this time. I honestly thought he was going to hit me earlier tonight. He might have if Sam wasn't there.

The conversation ended there and we all went to bed. It was Dean's turn to share tonight. I got under the sheet and blanket and turned away from Dean as he turned off the light. About 15 minutes passed before I heard his voice.

"Em… you awake?"

I sat for a second… debating on answering him.

"Yeah."

"Kiddo. I really am sorry." I turned over and faced him.

"I know Dean..." I said looking down.

"I just want so much for you… I wasn't lying when I said you're not like other girls. You're special. You're worth more. You of all people deserve more than what I can give you in this life. Its not easy being a hunter, and if I ever do get you out I don't want you to settle for some guy. No guy will ever be worthy of you… but I want someone who tries so damn hard it nearly kills him."

"You want me to get out of hunting?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah kiddo. I want you to have a normal life… I've always wanted that for you. You deserve so much more than what you've been handed so far in life. I know I'm not dad, that I'm just your brother. But you are as close as I'll probably ever come to raising a kid of my own. I don't wanna screw it up."

Hearing him say this literally melted any hardness I still felt against him and what happened earlier today. I know Dean had to step up at an early age and that he really did practically raise me. Dad was here and gone so much that Dean had to play dad and brother. I would never want him to think that he let me down. He always took care of me. Always gave me everything I needed and a lot of things that I wanted. Very rarely did Dean tell me no until boys came along.

"Dean. I don't have a bad life. You've done so much for me. You never screwed me up."

He smiled at me sadly, "Get some sleep kiddo. I love you."

"I love you too De."

He reached over and kissed the top of my head before we fell asleep.

The next morning came too early. I just wanted to sleeeeep. So when the boys came over to wake me I buried my head under the pillow and played dead till they left me alone. I could still hear them though, they didn't bother to try and be quiet.

"What the hell is this symbol? It's buggin' the hell outta me. This whole damn job's buggin' me. I thought the legend said Mordechai only goes after chicks." Dean said doodling the symbol.

"It does."

"All right. Well I mean that explains why he went after you and Em, but why me?" I grinned to myself from the bed. Dean can be such an ass sometimes.

"Hilarious. The legend also says he hung himself but did you see those slit wrists?"

"Yeah."

"What's up with that? And the axe too. I mean, ghosts are usually pretty strict, right? Following the same patterns over and over?"

"But this mook keeps changing."

"Exactly. I'm telling ya, the way the story goes ... wait a minute."

"What?"

"Someone added a new post to the Hell Hound site. Listen to this. 'They say Mordechai Murdock was really a Satanist who chopped up his victims with an axe before slitting his own wrists. Now he's imprisoned in the house for eternity. Where in the hell is this going?"

"Ughh. Why can you two not let me sleep!" I said giving up and climbing out of the bed, but Dean flying up out of his chair startled me before I caught my balance, causing me to fall on my ass.

"I don't know but I think I might have just figured out where it all started! Emily, get off the floor." He said going out to the impala, assuming me and Sam would follow.

We ended up at the music store, Dean still won't say what his great revelation is.

"Hey Craig? Remember us?" Dean asked walking up to him.

"Guys, look I'm really not in the mood to answer any of your questions ok?"

"Oh don't worry. We're just here to buy an album, that's all." Dean said as he dug through a shelf and stopped picking up a BOC album. Oh DUH! Why didn't I see it before.

"You know I couldn't figure out what that symbol was and then I realized that it doesn't mean anything. It's the logo for the Blue Oyster Cult." He said to me and Sam before turning back to Craig.

"Tell me Craig, you, uh, you into BOC? Or just scaring the hell outta people? Now why don't you tell us about that house ... without lying through your ass this time."

"….All right, um. My cousin Dana was on break from TCU. Ah, I guess we were just bored, looking for something to do. So I showed her this abandoned dump I found. We thought it would be funny if we made it look like it was haunted. So we painted symbols on the walls, some from some albums, some from some of Dana's theology textbooks. Then we found out this guy Murdock used to live there so we ...we made up some story to go along with that. So they told people, who told other people. And then these two guys put it on their stupid website. Everything just took on a life of its own. I mean I, I thought it was funny at first but... now that girl's dead! It was just a joke, you know. I mean, none of it was real, we made the whole thing up. I swear!"

"All right." Sam said pushing us back out the door.

"If none of it was real how the hell do you explain Mordechai?" Dean asked.

"I don't know." Sam replied.

As we were walking back to the car I noticed red hair and those ocean blue eyes walking down the sidewalk towards us. He froze, so did I. I gave an apologetic smile, but he quickly turned around and damn near ran in the opposite direction. Dammit Dean… I sighed and crossed my arms. When I looked back at the boys I noticed Sam watching me, this time it was my turn to get an apologetic smile. He swung his arm around me and led me back to the impala.

We went back to the motel and Dean ran out while Sam and I took turns showering, I had just gotten out and Sam had gone in when Dean came back.

"Hey, I'm back." Dean yelled to Sam.

"So I think I might have a theory about what's going on." Sam yelled back.

Dean quietly looked and me and held his finger over his mouth telling me to keep quiet. I just shook my head as I watched him dump itching powder into Sam's underwear. I am SO glad I'm out of this one.

"Oh yeah?" Dean called back.

"What if Mordechai is a Tulpa?"

"Tulpa?" Dean asked setting Sam's underwear back down just before the door opened and he came out in a towel. Seriously… put some damn clothes on.

"Dude. I get dressed IN the bathroom. You could do the same ya know." I said as he walked by, he ignored me.

"Yeah, a Tibetan thought form." He said back to Dean.

"Ahh, yeah, I know what a Tulpa is. Hey why don't you get dressed, I wanna go grab something to eat."

"I'm gonna meet you in the car, you know where people who are clothed are." I said getting up.

"Yeah me too." Dean called following me out as Sam reached over to the underwear covered in itching powder. Poor guy.

We had only been at this diner for maybe 10 minutes before Sam started to get uncomfortable. Trying to discreetly itch… it was embarrassing to even sit at the same table as him at the moment.

"Dude what's your problem?" Dean asked. Knowing damn well the problem was him.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"So, ahhh, all right keep going. What about these Tulpas?" Dean asked worried I would sell him out, I just glared at him.

"Ok, so there was this incident in Tibet in 1915. Group of monks visualised a golem in their head. The meditated on it so hard they bought the thing to life. Outta thin air."

"So?"

"That was 20 monks. Imagine what 10,000 web surfers could do. I mean Craig starts the story about Mordechai, then it spreads, goes online. Now there are countless people all believing in the bastard."

"Now wait a second. Are you trying to tell me that just because people believe in Mordechai, he's real?" I asked. Theres no way. If that was true then why the hell ain't Santa real.

"I dunno, maybe." Sam said …adjusting again.

"People believe in Santa Claus - how come I'm not getting hooked up every Christmas?" Dean asked. Oh we are totally siblings.

"Cuz you're a bad person. And because of this..." He turned his laptop and showed us a symbol, one that was also painted in the house with the BOC logo.

"That's a Tibetan spirit sigil. On the wall of the house. Craig said they were painting symbols from a theology textbook. I bet they painted this, not even knowing what it was. Now that sigil has been used for centuries, concentrating meditative thoughts like a magnifying glass. So people are on the HellHounds website, staring at the symbol, thinking about Mordechai ... I mean I don't know, but it might be enough to bring a Tulpa to life."

"So are you telling me we could TOTALLY bring santa to life?!" I asked excitedly. Both boys just shook their head at me. Assholes. I'd be like the Christmas hero if I brought Santa to life. That would be badass. I would be badass. I'm totally going to have to look into that some day.

"It would explain why he keeps changing." Dean said.

"Right, as the legend changes, people think different things, so Mordechai himself changes. Like a game of telephone. That would also explain why the rock salt didn't work." Sam said grimacing and itching.. again.

"Yeah because he's not a traditional spirit."

"Yeah." He replied still fidgeting.

"Ok. So why don't we just...uhh ... get this spirit sigil thingy off the wall and off the website?"

"Well it's not that simple. You see, once Tulpas are created they take on a life of their own."

"Great. So if he really is a thought form how the hell are we supposed to kill an idea?"

"Well it's not gonna be easy with these guys helping us. Check out their home page."

Sam showed us the video they posted form the other night at the house. These guys are really shitty at handling a camera. Just watching it could give me motion sickness.

"Since they've posted the video their number of hits have quadrupled in the last day alone."

"Hmph. I got an idea. Come on." Dean said getting up and walking off again.

"Where we going?" I asked.

"We gotta find a copy store."

As we got up, Sam was really struggling. I felt bad for the poor guy.

"Man, I think I'm allergic to our soap or something." He said. Dean started laughing and I gave him the look of pity. He caught on quickly.

"You did this?" He asked, Dean's only response was constant laughter.

"You're a friggin jerk!" Sam yelled.

"Oh yeah." I agreed.

A few hours later we were in this little trailer park listening to Ed and Harry argue from outside their door. Dean knocked on the door… no answer. So he did it again.

"Come on out here guys, we hear you in there." Dean said.

The door opened and we stepped inside the small trailer.

"Ah, would you look at that! Action figures in their original packaging - what a shock." Dean said looking around.

"Guys, we need to talk." I said.

"Yeah, um, sorry guys. We're ahhh, a little bit busy right now." Ed said.

"Ok well we'll make it quick. We need you to shut down your website." I said with big puppy dog eyes.

"Man, you know, these guys got us busted last night, spent the night in a holding cell..."

"I had to pee in that cell urinal. In front of people. And I get stage fright." Harry said nervously. I had to contain my laughter.

"Why should we trust you?" Ed asked.

I took a step forward and put my arms across my chest, pushing up the girls just a hair. "Look guys. We all know what we saw last night, what's in the house. But now thanks to your website there are thousands of people hearing about Mordechai."

"That's right. Which means people are gonna keep showing up at the Hell House, running into him in person, somebody could get hurt." Sam said.

"Yeah, yeah..." Ed said.

"Ed maybe he's got a point, maybe..." Harry said.

"Nope."

"No." Harry agreed.

"We have an obligation to our fans, to the truth." Ed said taking a step towards me. "An obligation to be honorable, a good man." He said dramatically as he rubbed his hand down my arm. Oh. He is pushing it.

"Well I have an obligation to kick both your little asses right now –" Dean started but I gave him a look telling him to chill.

"Dean-Dean, hey, hey, just, forget it, all right? These guys ... we could probably bitch slap them both, I could probably even tell them that thing about Mordechai ... but they're still not gonna help us. Let's just go."

"Yeah. I guess you're right." I said turning to leave.

"Whoa.. whoa..." Ed and harry said following us outside.

"Hang on a second here." Harry said.

"What thing about Mordechai?" Ed asked.

"Don't tell 'em Sam." Dean said.

"But if they agree to shut the website down Dean."

"They're not going to do it, you said so yourself."

"No wait. Wait. Don't listen to him ok? We'll do it. We'll do it." Ed pleaded.

"It's a secret Sam." I said

"Look, it is a really big deal all right. And it wasn't easy to dig up. So only if we have your word that you'll shut everything down." Sam said to them.

"Totally." Ed said.

"All right." Sam said handing them some paperwork.

"It's a death certificate. From the '30s. We got it at the library. Now according to the coroner, the actual cause of death was a self-inflicted gunshot wound." I said.

"That's right he didn't hang or cut himself." Dean added.

"He shot himself?" Ed asked sounding confused.

"Yep. With a .45 pistol. To this day they say he's terrified of them." I said.

"Matter of fact they say if you shoot him with a .45, loaded with these special wrought-iron rounds - it'll kill the sonuvabitch." Dean said matter of factly.

It was barely a second later that Ed and Harry both snickered and took off running inside of their trailer. Worked like a charm. We all looked to each other and grinned walking away.

We had to kill some time until dinner and went back to the motel to hang out. I sat down with my phone and checked it for the hundredth time today. I don't know why. If I was Alec I'd never talk to me again either. I had texted him a long apology last night but he hasn't said anything back.

I leaned back against the headboard and sighed.

"No reply?" Dean asked.

I threw my eyes up at Dean accusingly.

"Well maybe if someone hadn't threatened to throw him off a cliff he wouldn't avoid me like the plague."

"Well. I may or may not have been a little out of my mind at the moment. It didn't exactly thrill me to watch some guy feel you up." He said back sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes and laid down for a nap. I was bummed. I really liked this guy. Now he'll never speak to me again.

"Em.. wake up." Sam said shaking my shoulder.

"Hmmmmmm….."

"Come on. Lets go eat."

I perked up and Sam laughed. I was always down for some good food. When we got to the place we sat in a booth that had an odd talking fish hanging next to it. When you pull the string it laughs at you. It was highly annoying. But Dean found it highly amusing.. he pulled it again… and again… and again.

I reached up and pulled the string to shut it up. "If you pull that string one more time I'm gonna kill you."

"Come on Em, you need more laughter in your life. You know you're way too tense." I shot him a dirty look.

"They post it yet?" I asked Sam.

He turned the laptop towards us and Dean read it outloud, "We've learned from reputable sources that Mordechai Murdock has a fatal fear of firearms. All right. How long do we wait?"

"Long enough for the new story to spread, and the legend to change. I figure by nightfall iron rounds will work on the sucker."

"Sweet." Dean said as they tapped beers. As Dean began to drink Sam began to laugh. Oh geez… what now?

Dean went to set his bottle down and I watched his face go from puzzled to angry in 3 seconds flat. The bottle was superglued to his hand.

"You didn't." He said looking at Sam.

"oh, I did!" Sam said laughing holding up the super glue.

Later that night we went back to the house, but it was again being watched by cops. Luckily Sam stole the annoying fished and tacked it on to a tree pulling the string and running away. The cops automatically went in search of the noise and we were able to get in unnoticed.

"I barely have any skin left on my palm." Dean said annoyingly as we walked in.

"I'm not touching that line with a ten foot pole." I said earning a flashlight to the face.

"So you think old Mordechai's home?" Dean asked Sam.

"I don't know."

"Me either." A strange voice said causing us all to turn guns drawn. Oh what the fuck! These assholes again?

"WHOA! WHOA!" Harry yelled.

"What are you trying to do, get yourself killed?" Sam asked.

"We're just trying to get a book and movie deal, ok?" Ed said.

Before we could continue this argument any further there were sounds of knives being sharpened coming form the basement.

"Oh crap." Ed Said. He and Harry fell in behind us.

"Ah guys, you wanna ... you wanna open that door for us?"

"Why don't you? You know since you're such an honorable good man and all?" I asked sarcastically.

Out of nowhere Mordechai busts through the door with an axe in hand screaming. We all drew and empty our chambers into him, he disappeared.

"Oh God. He's gone. He's gone." Ed said.

"Did you get him?" Harry asked nervously.

"Yeah they got him."

"No, on camera, did you get him on camera."

"Ah, ah, I ..."

"Let me see it, let me see it."

They both leaned towards the camera, but suddenly an axe flies through it sending both nerds on the ground screaming. They jumped up and we took off running to a room away from him, slamming the door behind us.

"Hey! Didn't you guys post that B.S. story we gave you?" Dean asked.

"Of course we did." Ed said shakily.

"But then our server crashed." Harry admitted.

"So it didn't take?"

"UH...mmm..." they both were unsure of what to say.

"So these, these guns don't work." I asked getting close to his face.

"Yeah." Ed said after swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Great. Sam, any ideas?" Dean asked.

"We are getting outta here." Harry said quickly.

"Yeah come on." Ed said as they ran past us to get to another room, but Mordechai appeared again and they get stuck in front of the locked front door, screaming like babies.

"Jesus Mary and Joseph." Harry cried.

"The power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ compels you. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!" Ed yelled as if it was working.

"HEY! Come and get it you ugly son of a bitch." Sam yelled from behind Mordechai. I watched gun drawn as they fought but I couldn't get a clear shot on Mordechai without hitting Sam too.

"Get out of here, now!" Sam yelled.

The two nerds run out and I turn to see Dean dumping kerosene all over the house, he nodded for me to run and I quickly ran out of the house knowing he was fixing to light this bitch up.

Dean and Sam ran out not long after and we watched the house go up in flames as Mordechai stood in the doorway, staring at us.

"Mordechai can't leave the house, we can't kill him - We improvise." Dean said.

"That's your solution? Burn the whole damn place to the ground?" Sam asked.

"Well nobody will go in anymore. I mean look, Mordechai can't haunt a house if there's no house to haunt. It's fast and dirty but it works."

"Well what if the legend changes again and Mordechai is allowed to leave the house?" I asked.

"Well - well then we'll just have to come back."

"Kinda makes you wonder. Of all the thing we hunted, how many existed just cuz people believed in them." Sam asked. That's a scary thought.

The next day we were sitting in front of Ed and Harry's trailer. Waiting for them to show up. The approached with grocery bags in hand.

"Man I got the munchies right now… Gentlemen, Lady." Ed said.

"Hey guys." I said.

"Should we tell 'em." Harry said.

"Hey, might as well, you know, they're going to read about it in the trades." Ed replied.

"So this morning we got a phone call from a very important Hollywood producer."

"Oh yeah, wrong number?" Dean asked. I chuckled.

"No, smart-ass. He read all about the Hell House on our website and wants to option the motion picture rights. Maybe even have us write it."

"And create the RPG." Harry said.

"The what?" I asked.

"Role playing game… although for me and you I have a much more interesting role playing game in mind.." Ed said as he walked towards me, damn near touching his chest against mine. I could see Dean ready to pounce out the corner of my eye, so I held my hand up to him to stop him.

I leaned forward pushing Ed against his car, pushing my body against his.

"You know… " I said seductively rubbing my finger down his lips. "The last man that was this close to me got a surprise…."

"Oh yeah, what was that?" He asked as if he was out of breath, I almost laughed outloud.

"Well.. he got his balls shot off." I said pulling my gun out and shoving it against Ed's crotch. His eyes went wide and he coughed pulling away from me to the side.

"Oh. Wow. Ya know… I'm just. Not really into that.. but uhh. It was nice meeting you guys." Ed said scrambling to get in the car and lock the door. I turned to Dean and winked at him. His face was pure gold. He was trying to hold back his laughter.

"Later." Harry said nervously.

"Wow." Dean said as we watched them drive away.

"I have a confession to make." Sam said.

"What's that."

"I, uh...I was the one that called them and told them I was a producer." We all laughed.

"Yeah well I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat." Dean said causing us to all laugh even harder.

"So uh. Can we call a truce?" Sam asked as we got back in the car.

"Yeah. I guess. For the next hundred miles or so." Dean said.

When we got back to the motel I waited for the boys to go to sleep. I stayed out of this war the whole time, but I couldn't resist getting in the last shot.

I quietly got out of the bed and pulled out the tube of "No bite"- a super bitter liquid people put on their nails to keep them from biting them. I went into the boy's bags and quickly emptied some into both tubes of toothpaste. Then I quietly threw the evidence away. Next I pulled out my make up and was sure to be extremely careful as I covered both boy's with blue eyeshadow and bright red lipstick. I pulled out my phone and prayed the flash wouldn't wake them as I took my blackmail pictures. Sam stirred slightly, Dean didn't budge. Now I can sleep and wait till morning.

"Dammit! Emily!" Sam said successfully waking me up. I grinned.

He came out of the bathroom still wearing my make up.

"We called a truce!"

"No. You two called a truce. I had nothing to do with any of it. Until now." I giggled.

"We'll see how funny it is when Dean wakes up." He threatened throwing something at Dean to wake him.

"Hmm.. What.. what I'm up. I'm up." He groggily sat up and rubbed his face, pushing blue and pink coloring all over his cheeks. I busted out laughing and he looked at me like I was crazy. Then he looked up at Sam, then he too busted out laughing.

"Wild night there Sammy?" He asked.

Sam grinned. "Oh. I don't know Dean. Why don't you take a look in the mirror and ask me that again."

Suddenly Dean's face fell, he turned to glare at me as he ripped off the covers and ran to the bathroom.

"What the fuck! Emily!" I laughed all over again.

I heard the sink turn on full blast and it didn't take either of them long to clean their faces. The true moment of hilarity was listening to Dean start to gag as he began brushing his teeth. I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants.

"I'm gonna guess Its not safe for me to use my toothbrush is it?" Sam asked.

"Oh no. Its fine. I just wouldn't use your toothpaste." I giggled. I'd had enough fun. Might as well spare Sam the same fate as Dean. So I handed him mine so he could finish getting ready.

Dean came out of the bathroom and glared at me.

"You're gonna pay for that one."


	19. Chapter 19

Author's note: Well I passed my state boards and I am officially a Registered Nurse! Thanks for the positive vibes. I am skipping a couple of episodes but I have some plans for this chapter that I wanted to elaborate with. The last chapter was super long! Thanks for being patient with me on that! Was it too long? Or are you preferring longer chapters? You guys just let me know! I love love love getting new reviews! Thanks for sticking with me and Emily's story! Also let me tell you being able to sit on our balcony and be feet away from the ocean while I write is AMAZING.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

Sometimes I love living on the road. Sometimes I love having the backseat to myself, windows, some AC, plenty of time to think about things. I've been doing a lot of that today. Just riding and thinking.

It's been a long hard couple of months. When we left Texas we received coordinates from Dad… just a simple text. Nothing but numbers. No "Love You All" "Stay Safe" Be Careful" "Miss You"… nothing but the job. He again texted it to Dean only. Not me or Sam. I guess he knew Dean wouldn't question, just follow orders.

Turns out the case was one that was unfinished for Dean. Something he had faced once and got away. It was hard to watch him struggle with it, but it was something he had to do. Ultimately he beat it. That's what us Winchesters do. We kick ass and keep going.

Then we ended up around New York for a haunted painting. Sam met a girl, a beautiful girl. But he wasn't far enough past Jessica to really get involved. It was even harder to watch Sam suffer. It made me think back to what Dean said, about how people who live our life can't keep relationships… that it never works. I guess he was right. Didn't work for him and Cassie. Didn't work for Sam and Jessica. Hell it didn't work for my own Mother and Father. Why should I be any different?

If I know any relationship I have is doomed then what do I really even want… do I want to live a life of booze and hook ups like Dean? He seems pretty happy. A lot happier than Sam and his life of pining over women.

"Hey Em looks like the local bar has a show tonight. $500 bucks cash. You wanna do it?" Dean asked pulling me out of my thoughts as he walked back to the car from the gas station.

"Hells yeah." I've had a couple of songs I've been wanting to try out.

"Alright. Starts at 8, which is in a few hours, so lets go check out this guys house at dark and then head to the bar. Sound good?"

"Can we stop at the motel between the two so I can get ready? I'm not going to sing wearing this…" I said gesturing down to my sweats and ugg knock off boots. It was freezing here. Snow on the ground, cloudy, wet, cold. I like cold weather, but this is just miserable.

"Depends on what you're thinking of wearing." He told me eyebrows raised.

I rolled my eyes and Sam laughed at us.

It took us like an hour to get to this guy's cabin. I was pretty impressed that the impala made it all the way up to the cabin, this guy lived in the middle of nowhere.

When we walked in the place was a mess… it smelt bad too.

"Looks like the maid didn't come today." Dean said.

"Hey, there's salt over here. Right beside the door." Sam yelled.

"You mean protection against demon salt, or 'oops I spilled the popcorn' salt." I asked walking over to him.

"It's clearly a ring. You think this guy Elkins was a player?"

"Starting to seem like it." I said, but Dean quickly confirmed it for us.

"Definitely." He said walking over to us with a journal in his hands.

"That looks a hell of a lot like Dad's." Sam said.

"Yep, except this dates back to the 60s." I said flipping through some of the pages. Who the hell is this guy?

"Whatever attacked him, it looks like there was more than one." Sam said. The more we walked around, the more I felt like something was watching us. I couldn't shake it. It was making me sick to my stomach. I know someone or something is out there. I walked up closer to sam and looped my arm through his walking right along side him.

"You okay Em?" he asked noticing.

"Yeah… just feels like someone's watching us. Its giving me the creeps."

"I'm sure its nothing kiddo. Come on." He said putting his arm over my shoulders and leading us towards Dean.

"Looks like he put up a hell of a fight too." He said pointing at the room where he was obviously killed. It was trashed and there was blood scattered.

"Yeah." Sam said.

"You got something?" I asked Dean as we got closer to him.

"I dunno. Some scratches on the floor." Dean said.

"Death throes maybe?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"Or maybe a message." He said as he started to rub his hands over the scratches, he then grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and tried to get the scratches to replicate on the paper.

When he lifts it up it has blood on it… but he turns it towards us and it has a few letters and numbers.

"Look familiar?"

"Three letters, six digits. The location and combination of a post office box. It's a mail drop." Sam said putting it all together.

"Just like the way Dad does it." I mumbled leaning into Sam again. He absent mindedly squeezed my shoulders.

"Well lets get out of here and go to the motel, let Em get ready and we'll stop at the post office on the way to the bar." Sam suggested, he knew I was ready to leave.

"Sounds good to me." Dean said.

I was super happy to get in the impala and drive down the road back to the motel, but I still felt like someone was watching us the whole way back.

When we got there I stood by the car for a second looking around, trying to pick up on whatever it may be giving me the creeps right now. I didn't see any cars following us, I don't see any sign of monsters. I don't know…

"What's up Kiddo?" Dean asked.

"Nothing." I mumbled walking in and grabbing my bag to get ready.

It was cold so I'm not wearing the dress Sam got me. I would freeze my ass off. Instead I grabbed my jeans with the sparkly pockets and the olive green long sleeve V-neck with my push up underneath. Helping to boost up the girls a little bit. When I did my make up I went a little dark around the eyes with a gold highlight. Between the gold and the olive green shirt my brown eyes would pop. I shook out my wavy hair and decided it was decent so I'll just leave it natural with some hairspray to keep the frizzies away. I finished off with some gold dangly earrings and my cowgirl boots.

"Ready." I said walking out and go over to the window to look again and see if I could tell what was watching us. That feeling has yet to leave me.

"Emily seriously… what is going on? You're acting weird." Dean asked.

"I just feel like someone's watching us… it started at the cabin and it won't go away. I swear Dean. Something is out there." I said turning to look at him concerned.

"Em there's nothing there. Trust me. I woulda seen it. We weren't followed and there were no signs anybody had been there in days." He said trying to reassure me.

"Yeah.. okay." I said walking towards the door turning my back on Dean.

"…What jeans are those?" He asked.

"Ones I got at the mall a while back."

"Who the hell let you buy them?!"

"Umm.. Me?" I said trying to cover for Sam. Shit. He was right. Dean is having a hissy fit.

"Take em off. And throw them in the trash on our way out."

"Dean. I'm not doing this shit again tonight… They're just jeans. I'm either wearing these or going in leather pants again. Your choice." I said standing firm on my decision for the night.

"If I hear one person comment on your ass in those Jeans tonight then I'm going to drag you off stage and you'll be wearing my jeans for the rest of the night." He said just as harsh.

"Fine!" I said.

"Fine!" He said back walking towards the door.

I stopped and looked at Sam who I then shot a wink to. He just shook his head and laughed.

"Thanks for that Kiddo." He said as we walked out.

"Well its not your fault, I used my puppy dog eyes… Dean wouldn't have been able to say no either." I said grinning.

We got to the mailbox and pulled out an envelope from the PO box we were breaking into. It had two letters on it.

" 'J.W.' You think? John Winchester?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. Should we open it?" I asked.

"Not yet. Show starts in half an hour. Lets go, we'll pop it open at the bar when we have a chance to sit down and really look at it." Dean said ushering us out the door.

(Dean's POV)

When we all got back in the car I looked around… Emily knows someone's watching us. I do too. I knew there was someone at the cabin, outside somewhere. But I didn't wanna spook them or Em. She looked spooked enough.

We pulled up to the bar and I pulled Em's arm before she walked off.

"Hey."

"What?" She asked.

"You know the drill… anyone gives you trouble you text me or signal me."

"I know Dean." She rolled her eyes… I remember the first time she ever did that. She was only 3. She's always had an attitude.

"Kick ass kiddo. We'll be towards the back at a table okay?"

"Okay. I'll come down there when I'm done."

"Good luck Em." Sam said before she walked off towards the back entrance.

"Dean someone has been tailing us since we left that cabin. Why don't you just tell her that.." Sam said when she was out of earshot.

"Because she was already spooked, I don't wanna get her head all messed up before she goes out there. I want her to enjoy herself man. She doesn't get to that often."

"Yeah… I guess you're right."

"I always am. I'm the oldest." I said grinning. He just rolled his eyes.

We grabbed a seat at the table in the back and ordered a couple of beers. I pulled the old journal from Elkin's place and the envelope out of my pocket after the waitress walked off.

"Think this has something to do with Dad?" Sam asked.

"Well I sure as hell do." A voice from behind us said. We both turned around instantly. Dad.

"Dad, what are you doing here? Are you all right?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, I'm ok. I read the news about Daniel, I got here as fast as I could. I saw you two at his place."

"So you're the one who's been tailing us." I said relieved.

"Yeah. It's me. I'm surprised you noticed."

"It wasn't just me, Emily picked up on it. She was freaking out." He looked a little guilty when I said that. Maybe I should have kept that part to myself. I know it killed him to walk away from her like that in Chicago.

"Why didn't you come in Dad?" Sam asked.

"Because I had to make sure you weren't followed... by anyone or anything. Nice job of covering your tracks by the way."

"Yeah, well, we learned from the best." I said. Dad chuckled sitting down and getting a beer.

"Where's your sister?" He asked. OH. Shit…. Well. I guess he's going to be the last to actually know. When he walked up I had forgotten why we came here, I looked up and noticed a girl on stage, guess the show has started.

"Um. She's busy, she'll come out in a few minutes." I said trying not to ruin it for him. This is going to be interesting. Sam and I shared a knowing look. Dad just looked confused as hell.

"So you came all the way out here for this Elkins guy?" Sam asked him before Dad could question us about it any further.

"Yeah. He was... he was a good man. He taught me a hell of a lot about hunting."

"Well you never mentioned him to us."

"We had a... we had kind of a falling out. I hadn't seen him in years." Dad looked down at the envelope. "I should look at that…. 'If you're reading this, I'm already dead'... that son of a bitch."

"What is it?" I asked. Still watching the stage for Emily.

"He had it the whole time."

"Dad, what?"

"When you searched the place, did you, did you see a gun? An antique, a Colt revolver, did you see it?"

"Ah, there was, there was an old case but it was empty."

"They have it."

"You mean whatever killed Elkins?" Sam asked.

"We gotta pick up the trail. Go get your sister." He said standing up.

"Wait. You want us to come with you?" Sam asked surprised.

"Dad seriously we're gonna have to wait a minute on Em."

"Dean we don't have time to wait. Where is she I'll go get her myself." He said getting irritated. But then I heard the song start and turned to see Emily on the stage.

"Up there…" I said pointing to the stage behind Dad. He turned around and started to walk forward a little bit.

Sam and I looked at each other and walked up to stand next to him.

He was just as in awe as us the first time. He reminded me of Sam. The way he moved to stand closer to her without even realizing what he was doing.

"Which one of you idiots let her get those pants?" Dad turned to us and looked. Shit.

"Uhh. Well…" I tried to say something in defense but came up drawing a blank and instead sipped my beer, as did Sam. Dad just shook his head and went back to watching Emily.

(Emily's POV)

" _You only love me for my… big sunglasses and my tony lamas.. and my, dodge dart classic."_

" _You said I'll be Johnny and you be June, and I'll ride with you to the moon!"_

" _But guess what!"_ The guitar kicked up and I pulled the mic off its stand so I could work with the room on the stage.

" _You can't ride in my little red wagon.."_

" _The front seats broken and the axel's dragging!"_

The upbeat song was definitely playing to my advantage. The bar was packed full of people tonight, mostly a younger crowd so there was a lot of dancing. I haven't spotted the boys yet with all the movement and the lights being in my face.

We hit the break in the song- my absolute favorite part.

" _Mmmm… you only love me for my big sunglasses.. and my tony lamas. I live in in… Oklahoma."_

" _And I've got.. long… brown.. hair.. and I play guitar and I go on the road and I do all the shit you wanna do!"_

The music picks up a little bit.

" _And my dog does tricks…"_

" _And I aint about drama yall..."_

" _I love my apron…"_

" _But I aint your momma! So guess what!"_

The music hits again I finish out the song with kick at the end.

The crowd breaks out in cheer and that inexplicable feeling is back again. Its like a high on top of a high. I catch my breath and run my hand through my hair as I walk back to the mic stand. My second song is a slow song, doesn't require a lot of stage room like the last one.

The slow guitar melody starts to play and the crowd goes quiet. Now is my chance to possibly spot Sam and Dean.

" _I had a dream about a burning house…"_

" _You were stuck inside I couldn't get you out"_

Yeah I know what you're thinking. Probably a poor song choice for someone who's mother died in a house fire. But this song. It just. Pulls at me…

" _Laid beside you and I pulled you close.. and the two of us went up in smoke.."_

" _Love isn't all.. that it seems- I did you wrong. I'll stay here with you till this dream is gone…"_

" _I've been sleep walking… been wondering all night."_

" _Trying to take whats lost and broke and make it right."_

" _I've been sleep walking."_

" _Too close to the fire. But it's the only place that I can hold you tight…"_

" _In this burning house."_

(Dean's POV)

Em's first song was something she could really have fun with. She danced around on the stage and played the crowd. She was way too good at that. I don't know where she got it from. She kept the flirting to a minimum which I was thankful for since Dad was here… he couldn't tear his eyes away. He would just smile when she would get really into a part of the song. He didn't speak. Just watched… I went back and forth between watching him and watching Emily. She finished out the song and Dad clapped so loud beside me it nearly made me jump, Sam and I laughed and then whistled and clapped along.

The next song started and the whole bar got quiet.

I've heard Emily sing this when she's walking around the motel or riding in the car… I guess I never truly paid attention to the words. But now they kinda stick out like a sore thumb to me… Mom. She sings this one because it makes her think of Mom.

I looked up at Dad and his gaze was solely focused on Emily. I don't even think he was blinking. I could vaguely see his eyes get glossy.

If there was one thing that could bring tears to Dad's eyes it was Mom. Just her memory could wreck him. I looked to Sam who looked the same way Dad did… I guess this song makes us all think of Mom.

Em sang it so beautifully though.

(Emily's POV)

" _I've been sleep walking.. to close to the fire."_

" _But it's the only place that I can hold you tight…"_

" _In this buring house… the flames are getting bigger now."_

" _In this buring house… I can hold onto you somehow."_

" _In this buring house… oh and I don't wanna wake up."_

" _In this buring house….."_

I finally met eyes with Dean, but when I noticed who was next to him I almost had to stop… I could have flung myself off this stage straight into my Daddy's arms. I know I'm mad at him. I know he hurt my feelings. But he's here. He's here. My Daddy is here… Watching me sing. Sing for Mom…

" _I've been sleep walking…"_

" _Been wondering all night…"_

" _Trying to take what's lost and broke and make it right…"_ I almost couldn't get the words out past the lump in my throat.

I was able to finish the song without falling apart and quickly exited the stage afterwards.

I made a beeline for where I spotted the boys and Dad. Finally I see them. I took off running and jumped into Dad's arms. He had tears in his eyes. We just stood there like that for a long few minutes.

"So.. I guess this is what you meant when you said you won some cash at a karaoke contest?" He asked. I laughed. I could feel him chuckle too. I finally got down.

"Yeah. I guess I could have elaborated a little more."

"Yeah. You should have. I can't believe I never knew about this.." He said looking between the boys and I.

"Well to be honest neither did they really. Dean busted me a couple years ago… Sam just found out in the last 6 months… so don't feel bad."

"Alright kiddo.. we need to go, we gotta find this gun."

"Wait.. what?" I asked confused.

"Dad knew Elkins. Elkins had a gun dad needed, the thing that killed him took it we think." Dean explained as we walked out to the impala. I wasn't even worried about the cash at this point. I had my daddy. I won regardless.

"If Elkins was telling the truth, we gotta find this gun."

"The gun - why?" I asked.

"Because it's important, that's why."

" Dad, we don't even know what these things are yet."

"They were what Daniel Elkins killed best: Vampires." No. Fucking. Way. Vamps?! Those bastards are real?!

"Vampires? I thought there was no such thing." Dean said. Well at least I wasn't the only one not in the blood suckers loop.

" Yeah. You never even mentioned them, Dad." Sam said.

"I thought they were extinct. I thought Elkins and - and others had wiped them out. I was wrong."

"So what do we need to know?" I asked.

"Most vampire lore is crap. A cross won't repel them, sunlight won't kill them, and neither will a stake to the heart. But the bloodlust, that part's true. They need fresh human blood to survive. They were once people, so you won't know it's a vampire until it's too late."

We drove back to the motel room and dad sent us all to get ready for bed as he set up his police scanner and made a cup of coffee. The boys got the bathroom first and were asleep in minutes. I came out in my pjs and instead of crawling in bed I went to sit at the table with dad.

"You should get some sleep kiddo. You're gonna need it."

"I'm not really all that tired… exciting night and all." I said smiling at him. He grinned back.

"You were great up there babygirl… you sound like your mom. She used to walk around the house and sing when she cleaned or when she would get ready to go out to dinner. I swear it was like a concert house."

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah… she'd be proud. I'm proud. Although I wouldn't mind it if those jeans never saw the light of day again."

I laughed. "Thanks Daddy…"

"So… How long are you gonna stay?" I asked nervously. I was thrilled to see him. But I was still not happy with is disappearing act lately.

He looked at me then looked down at his cup of coffee.

"Emily.. baby please try to understand. I'm so close… I'm doing my best to keep you safe and kill this thing at the same time."

"Daddy you left me… you left me there bleeding, crying, falling apart. And you just drove away. No phone call. No text message…. Wait no. I forgot. Its safe enough to send us coordinates but not safe enough to tell us you're okay." I said getting angry.

"Emily lose the attitude." He said harshly. I looked away from him.

"Babygirl. Sometimes you have to make hard decisions in this life. I'm sorry you felt like I just left you… but I didn't. I protected you. I kept you away from all of this because I know they'll use you to get to me. I didn't just leave you… I made sure you were in Dean's arms. I made sure you were okay. I have checked on you 3 more times then I can count since this started up."

"Then why couldn't you talk to me?! Why couldn't you answer my phone calls. Why weren't you there when Jessica died and Sam needed us. All of us.. Why couldn't you answer the phone when I called begging to hear your voice, or come check on Dean when he was Dying! Daddy I'm trying to understand but I don't… No disrespect but… you did leave. And you left nothing but us behind."

He looked at me for a minute and then stood up walking to the sink.

"Emily you need to go to bed. We've got a long day ahead of us."

I looked down and bit my lip. Un-fucking-believable. Nothing to say. But I know if I push this any further then he's going to get angry, and I'm going to get angrier. It won't end well for anyone in this room.

I got up from my seat and climbed in bed with Dean. When I shifted he bed he subconsciously swung his arm over me. Protective even in his sleep… its like he can sense when something's wrong.

I can't fall asleep. I can't go to bed angry at him again, not while he's here sitting in front of me. I don't usually fight with Dad. I tend to follow Dean and do as dad says but occasionally a little bit of Sam comes through and I don't hesitate to speak up about how I feel. Tonight was one of those nights. So I just laid there, until I heard him stand up to get a better listen at the scanner.

Looks like we've got something. I simply got out of bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. It was 4 something in the morning anyways.

"Sam, Dean, let's go." Dad said as he slapped their feet to wake them. He's done that since we were little. It's the "Hurry up" signal. We all know it well.

"Mm-hmm." Dean mumbles as Sam sits up.

"I picked up a police call."

"What happened?" Sam asked.

"A couple called 911, found a body in the street. Cops got there everyone was missing. It's the vampires."

"How do you know?"

"Just follow me, ok?" Was dad's only answer. He's great at answering questions tonight isn't he?

"Huh, vampires. Get's funnier every time I hear it." Dean says to me as I sit down next to him to slide on my boots."

"Yeah. Hilarious." I said grouchy.

"… please tell me you didn't fight with dad while we were asleep." He asked.

"Lets just go." Was my only response. Now I'm just like daddy. Wonder if he's proud.

"Well… this is gonna be fun." Dean mumbled getting up to walk behind me.

It was daylight by the time we got there, Dad made us all stand around at the car while he went and talked to the cops.

"I don't see why we couldn't have gone over with him." Sam said sulking.

"Oh don't tell me it's already starting." Dean said.

"What's starting?"

"Look I already gotta deal with Emily, please don't make me add you to the list. Just let the man do what he does and shut up about it. Please. I'm begging you. Both of you." Dean said looking at Sam and then to me. I just rolled my eyes as dad walked back over.

"What have you got?"

"It was them all right. Looks like they're heading west. We'll have to double back to get around that detour."

"How can you be so sure?" Sam asked.

"Sam..." Dean said quietly.

"He just wants to know we're going in the right direction." I quickly chirped up. Defending Sam.

"We are." Was all dad said.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I found this." He said reaching his hand out and giving something to Dean. Not to Sam. Or to me. But to his good little soldier.

"It's a...a vampire fang." Dean said.

"Not fangs, teeth. The second set descends when they attack."

"Any more questions?" Dad asked looking between Sam and me. Neither of us spoke up.

"All right, let's get out of here, we're losing daylight. Emily you're riding with me." WHAT? Why?

"Dean please…" I said quietly turning to him.

"Kiddo just go. For me!" He begged. I walked away mumbling a string of cuss words.

"Hey Dean why don't you touch up your car before you get rust? I wouldn't have given you the damn thing if I thought you were going to ruin it." Dad said walking past the impala. I turned and looked at Dean as if to say "told ya so."

He just got in the car with Sam and me and Dad jumped up in the truck. I love my daddy's truck. Its old and jacked up. Chevy. Done right.

"Emily I don't want it to be like this the whole time I'm here. I'm sorry you're upset. But please put an end to this. I get enough of it from your brother." He said as soon as I got the door shut.

"Yeah… okay." I said weakly.

"So tell me… what have you been up to since I've been gone. Besides singing in bars."

"Well.. we faced bloody mary. A shape shifter who looks like Dean told me nobody loves me. Some guy tried to rape me and I shot his balls off. I met Missouri. Nice lady by the way. Almost got eaten by a scarecrow. Almost killed Dean. Lost Sam when he was kidnapped by crazy hillbillys who tortured me and Dean… yeah. That's about it. Guess your plan to stay away and keep me safe worked like a charm." I said sarcastically.

When I turned and looked at Dad he looked at me in horror.

"You were almost raped?!" He asked.

"Seriously.. I practically kill Dean and I let Sam get kidnapped and you're worried about something that ALMOST happened?" I asked.

"Where the hell were your brothers when this happened!"

"We were working a case, we all had a job to do. Mine just got a little more complicated then expected." I said. No way in hell am I telling Dad about the frat party or that it happened the first time Dean really let me work the case without having to follow one of them around.

"That doesn't matter! And what do you mean you shot him?"

"Well… he didn't take no for an answer. He attacked me. So I pulled out my gun and shot his balls off." I said nonchalantly.

Dad just shook his head. Still feel like it was a smart idea to leave me for so long there pops?

"Remind me to discuss this with Dean later."

"Daddy it wasn't his fault. He wanted to go back and put a bullet in the guy's skull, but I stopped him. I handled it. Just like you and Dean both taught me to."

"Yeah. I guess you're right…" he said trailing off.

"So. You weren't like. On a date or anything when it happened? You were just working a case?" He asked.

"No dad. I don't date remember? Dean won't let a boy get within 30 feet of me." I said annoyed. I "accidentally" left out the part about Alec and getting busted on our date.

"There's a reason for that Emily. You just don't realize it yet."

I chuckled. "Sure daddy. I'm thinking the reason is that all three of you may be a TAD bit over protective."

"No. Not overly protective. Just enough to keep you outta trouble." He said.

"Yes sir." Was my only reply. Dean was difficult when it came to boys. But dad… he was impossible.

"Call your brothers. Tell em to turn off up ahead."

I grabbed my phone and dialed Dean.

"Hey kiddo."

"Hey De dad said to turn off up ahead, he said its on the right."

"Okay."

I hung up and a few moments later the impala was slamming on its breaks and an angry Sam was getting out of it, before I realized what was happening dad was out of the truck walking towards him. I moved to get out but Dean yelled at me as he went to catch up to Sam and dad.

"Emily stay in the truck!"

I could hear little bits of their yelling but not much of it. Whatever it is its getting ugly fast. Dean had to get in the middle of them and break things up. Surprisingly he seem to tell them both to back off, not just Sam. The boys got back in the car and dad climbed back in the truck and slammed the door shut.

"…Dad he's just frustrated."

"No he's disobedient."

"Daddy stop… I don't want yall to fight anymore. If I have to stop fighting then so do you. Please… I want us to all be together again." I pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

Dad looked at me and sighed. He dropped the anger in his voice.

"I know babygirl…"

I snuggled over to the middle seat and wrapped my arms around dad's one big arm, leaning my head on his shoulder. I really did miss my daddy. I love him. I love the way he smells, the warmth and comfort of his hugs. How safe I feel when he's around. Not that Dean isn't just as protective… or more. Honestly. But theres something about having your daddy there.

I dozed off and it was daylight before dad was waking me up again. We got out of the vehicles quietly and walked through the woods a little. When we came up on a large old red barn dad had us all lay low and handed Dean a pair of binoculars.

"Son of a bitch. So they're really not afraid of the sun?" Dean asked.

"Ahh, direct sunlight hurts like a nasty sunburn. The only way to kill 'em is by beheading. And yeah, they sleep during the day - doesn't mean they won't wake up." Dad said

"So I guess walking right in's not our best option." I suggested.

"Actually, that's the plan." Dad said before motioning for us to all go back to the car and load up on weapons.

"Dad, I've got an extra machete if you need one." Dean said pulling it out of the trunk, but dad quickly pulled one out that was atleast twice as big.

"I think I'm ok. Thanks." He said grinning.

"Wow." Dean said checking the thing out.

"So, you three really wanna know about this Colt?"

"Yes sir." Sam said.

"It's just a story, a legend really. Well I thought it was. Never really believed it until I read Daniel's letter..."

"Back in 1835, when Halley's comet was overhead, the same night those men died at the Alamo. They say Samuel Colt made a gun. A special gun. He made it for a hunter, a man like us only on horseback. Story goes he made thirteen bullets, and this hunter used the gun a half dozen times before he disappeared, the gun along with him. And somehow Daniel got his hands on it."

"They say... they say this gun can kill anything."

"Kill anything like, supernatural anything?" Dean asked.

"Like the demon." I said.

"Yeah, the demon. Ever since I picked up its trail I've been looking for a way to destroy that thing. Find the gun - we may have it."

"Well then lets go get it." Dean said.

"Alright. Emily. Hang back in the car." Dad said.

"What no?! Dad come on I can do this."

"Emily no. Its too dangerous. Stay. Here."

"Ughhh!" I yelled getting into the impala and slamming the door shut. Dad walked away and Sam and Dean followed. Dean stopped and looked back to me and mouthed the word sorry. I could tell he genuinely sorry but he wasn't going to cause another argument with dad. He could have taken up for me at least. I didn't respond. I just turned my head.

I had been sitting there for about 10 minutes when I started to get impatient.

I knew dad would bust my ass if I went down there. So instead I opted to get out of the car and use the binoculars to watch from the spot where we were earlier.

I walked over and couldn't see anything. The doors were all shut and none of the boys were by the windows for me to be able to see them. Shit.

I sighed and dropped the binoculars.

"Why so sad sweetie?" A voice called from behind me. Oh Fuck.

I froze and felt chills go up my body. I have a gun on me. But that's no good against a vamp.

I slowly turned around putting on a poker face.

"Who the hell are you." I said.

"Oh hunny I'm the one that's gonna eat you for breakfast." The tall dark man said showing his second set of teeth.

I turned to run but didn't get far before a female vamp cut me off and clothes lined me. Knocking me on my ass. I coughed trying to catch my breath.

I turned over on my stomach and tried crawling away.

"Help! Dean!" I yelled weakly, still out of breath. Both the vamps laughed and the guy put his foot in my back putting pressure on it. I turned over quickly and grabbed his ankle knocking him on his ass and tried to get up and run again but the bitch he had with him grabbed me by my long hair and pulled me in close to her.

"Mm… You smell delicious." she said and she ran her nose up the side of my neck. I shivered.

"Get the fuck off me or I swear to god I'll watch that pretty little head of yours roll down the hill." I spat at her.

"Ha! Who's gonna save you poor baby? Daddy and your brothers are already dead. They walked right into the nest. Its like getting breakfast in bed." She chuckled. No. No… they're not dead. They're not. They can't be!

"You shut you're whore mouth!" I yelled. But she slapped me, it drew blood across the bottom of my lip. Shit.

The male stood up and walked over grabbing me and pinning my arms behind me so the female could feed easily without having to hold me down. She used her finger to catch some of the blood off my lip and sucked it off her finger. I could puke right now if I wasn't about to die.

She got closer and I closed my eyes waiting for the inevitable. But all I heard was the sling of a blade, and something drop to the ground, suddenly the male vamp threw me to the side and took off running. I turned around and saw the females head laying on the ground next to me. I scrambled to get away from it and backed myself into a tree. Closing my eyes and rocking back and forth, trying to keep my breathing even.

A hand touched me and I screamed and jumped.

"Emily! Baby calm down… its just me." I looked up and realized it was my daddy. I threw my arms around his neck and he squeezed me tight. Picking me up off the ground.

"I told you to stay in the car!" He yelled as he separated us.

"I'm sorry daddy, I just wanted to see if yall were okay…" I said with tears forming but not falling.

"Lets go find your brothers." He stalked off pissed.

When we caught up to them Dean instantly looked at me with relief but then that changed to worry when he saw my lip.

"Emily where the hell did you go." He asked coming over and pulling up my face so he could look at my lip.

"Its fine Dean… I went to the clearing to watch, but I got jumped."

"Dad she's bleeding… does that mean-" Sam started but was cut off.

"They won't follow. They'll wait till tonight. Once a vampire has your scent, it's for life." Dad said looking down at me.

"Well what the hell do we do now?" Dean asked still holding onto me.

"You gotta find the nearest funeral home, that's what."

We got back to the motel room and dad sent me and Dean off to the funeral home and Sam stayed with him.

"You sure you're okay kiddo. You've been kinda quiet since we got back."

"Yeah De I'm good. Just a close call." But I wasn't going to tell him how close. He'd have a heart attack.

"Okay." He said going back to the road.

We pulled up at a funeral home… shit there's a guard.

"Okay. I'll go distract him. You get the blood." I said. Dean nodded.

"Hey Em."

"yeah?"

"Please be careful." He said.

"Aye Aye Captain." I said with a grin before walking off. He shook his head and laughed.

I walked up to the guard pushing some fake tears up to the surface. I had to make this convincing.

"Excuse me… sir." I sniffled.

"Yes maam?" he said not looking up.

"I… I'm not sure if you can help me… but.. I.. " I started to cry, he finally noticed and immediately stood up.

"What is It maam?"

"My grandma… she… she died. I'm supposed to identify her… I.. I don't know if I can…" I cried into my hands.

"Well miss come on, let me at least walk you in." He said going to put his hand on my back comfortingly. Oh yeah. I have this guy in the bag. From here I just had to wing it. Hopefully I won't get all the way to the bodies.

I let the man walk me down the hall but I stopped in front of the door to the bodies and dropped to my knees fake sobbing. I really didn't wanna have to go in there. Plus Dean may have gone in there.

I carried on for about 5 minutes before I felt my phone buzz. I sneaked a peak at it. Job done.

I stood up and wiped my eyes some.

"I'm sorry… I just can't. Someone else will have to come do it. Do you mind walking me back out?" I asked with big puppy dog eyes.

"Oh yes miss! Of course."

He walked me out the door and I promptly jogged to the impala and got in.

"Get it?"

"Sure did." He said holding up a jar of it dead man's blood. Ewww.

"Nice acting by the way" Dean said handing me something to clean my face with.

"Yeah well having tits and crying comes in handy sometimes." I said. He rolled his eyes and drove back to dad and Sam.

"Whew. Man, some heavy security to protect a bunch of dead guys." Dean said as we walked in.

"Get it?" dad asked. Dean pulled it out.

"You know what to do." Dad said pointing to the weapons laid out on the table.

A few hours later we were all set and ready. Dean was parked off the road with the hood up. Looking like he was having engine troubles.

I was ready and waiting with my bow and arrow dipped in dead man's blood. I hid in the cover of the trees next to Sam and dad who had the machetes.

A woman appeared and approached Dean. I tightened my grip on my compound bow and steadied my aim.

"Wait for it Em." Dad whispered. I didn't want her getting a step closer to Dean.

"Car trouble?" She asked Dean. He just turned around and nodded.

"Let me give you a lift. I'll take you back to my place."

"Nah I'll pass. I usually draw the line at necrophilia."

"Oooh." She said as she back handed him and another vampire came out from the tree line, she grabbed Dean by the face and lifted him in the air. That's it. I can't wait.

"Emily.. not yet." Dad said. I huffed. I hated this.

"I don't usually get this friendly until the second date but..." Dean said.

"You know, we could have some fun. I always like to make new friends."

She lowered him down and kissed him. Ew. Dean tried to pull away.

"Oh. ugg. Sorry. I don't usually stay with a chick that long. Definitely not eternity."

I couldn't wait. I took my shot. Hitting her right through the heart.

"Dammit." She muttered, we emerged and dad took out the other vamp immediately.

"It barely even stings." She says turning to me noticing I'm the one with the bow.

"Give it time sweetheart. That arrow's soaked in dead man's blood. It's like poison to you isn't it?" I said sweetly.

She looked shocked for a moment before the blood kicked in and she dropped to the ground.

"Load her up." Dad said. We did and got the hell out of dodge. I rode with the boys this time.

We got to an empty spot on the side of the road and dad started a fire.

"Toss this on the fire. Saffron, skunk's cabbage and trillium. It'll block our scent and hers, until we're ready." He said handing the herbs to Dean.

"Stuff stinks!" Dean said taking in a good whiff. Dumbass.

"That's the idea. Dust your clothes with the ashes, and you stand a chance of not being detected. Especially you Em."

"Lovely…." I said rubbing the ashes down my arm.

"You sure they'll come after 'er?" Sam asked pointing to the vampire in the truck.

"Yeah. Vampires mate for life. She means more to the leader than the gun. But the blood sickness is going to wear off soon, so you don't have a lot of time."

"A half hour oughta do it." Sam said.

"And then I want you out of the area as fast as you can." Wait.. what? I turned to look at dad. Seriously?!

"But..." I started.

"Well, Dad you can't take care of them all yourself." Dean finished for me.

"I'll have her. And the Colt."

"But after. We're gonna meet up, right? Use the gun together. Right?" I said. Getting angrier by the second. Sam noticed quickly and put a hand on my shoulder.

There was a long pause.

"You're leaving again, aren't you. You still wanna go after the demon alone. You know, I don't get you. You can't treat us like this." Sam suddenly said.

"Like what?"

"Like children!"

"You are my children. I'm trying to keep you safe."

"Dad, all due respect but, uh, that's a bunch of crap." Dean said. Whoa. I was shocked. We all turned and looked at Dean.

"Excuse me?" Dad said.

"You know what Em, Sammy, and I have been hunting. Hell you sent us on a few hunting trips yourself. You can't be that worried about keeping us safe."

"It's not the same thing, Dean."

"Then what is it? Why do you want us out of the big fight?"

"This demon? It's a bad son of a bitch. I can't make the same moves if I'm worried about keeping you alive."

"You mean you can't be as reckless." I added.

"Look... I don't expect to make it out of this fight in one piece. Your mother's death ... it almost killed me. I can't watch my children die too. I won't." Wow… is he fucking serious right now?

"What happens if you die? Dad, what happens if you die, and we coulda done something about it? You know I been thinking. I ...think maybe Sammy's right about this one. We should do this together." Dean said. I was too pissed to speak. Dad's basically going on a suicide mission.

"We're stronger as a family, Dad. We just are. You know it." Sam said backing Dean up.

"We're running out of time. You do your job and you get out of the area. That's an order."

Dean looked upset and Sam clenched his jaw. No. Hell no. I'm not just going to let this go.

"Dad no! This is a load of shit! You're sending us off so you can go on some suicide mission without feeling guilty that your children had to watch you die!"

"Emily that's enough!" Dad said.

"No! Its not! Is that why you keep leaving? Is that why you won't talk to me?! Trying to get me used to a life without you in it!"

"Emily stop!" He yelled

"No! I grew up without a mother! Sam and Dean grew up without a mother!"… I paused. "Dad we still need you. You're all we have left besides each other. Why are you running off to get killed on purpose!"

"Emily I said that's enough!" He yelled loudly getting in my face.

I finally stopped. It wasn't even up until that moment that I realized Dean was holding me back by my arms. Was I walking forward or something? I couldn't even remember.

"I said get in the car. Do your job. And Leave." He said so low and harsh it didn't even sound like him.

"Is that understood?"

I stood there for a moment, tears welling up in my eyes, one fell over before I could stop them.

"Yes sir." I said quietly and walked away.

I got in the car and the boys quickly followed behind me. I got in the backseat and pulled my knees up to my chest leaning against the back, looking out the window.

"Kiddo.." Dean tried knowing I was teetering between pissed and upset.

"Dean. Just don't… not right now." I quickly snapped.

Instead of replying he just got out on the road and headed back towards the nest for us to clean house.

We got there fairly quickly and I was still fuming. I got out, popped the trunk, grabbed a machete and walked towards the barn not even waiting on the boys.

I walked up and peeked in a window, theres one getting drunk off his ass just on the other side of the doors that are open just enough for my body to slide in through. I can hear Dean and Sam coming up behind me so I went ahead and walked in. I slowly crept up behind him as he chunked his empty beer bottle across the room.

He turned and met eyes with me.

"Boo." I said before swinging the machete and decapitating him.

This was enough noise to draw in the others and 3 flew out from behind a corner. Dean and Sam walked in and took the back two while I took the one closest. Then we moved further back in the barn to where people were being held in cages.

"I told you I'd come back." Dean said freeing them and telling them to run for the road.

I heard noises coming from the room next door so I went in. A vamp was waiting behind the door and knocked me down when I walked in but I quickly got up and we fought for only a minute before I stabbed him with a knife dipped in dead man's blood, moments later he fell to the ground and I screamed out of frustration as I slammed down my machete. Blood splattered everywhere, including on my face. But I was really too pissed to care.

Dean and Sam heard me and came barging in. But I didn't turn to face them. Instead I just stood there. Staring at the body in front of me.

They look so much like regular people. Like that guy in the window. They bleed red… their muscles still twitch. It was disturbing… I stared for a few minutes before I felt it coming up. I quickly ran to the corner of the room and puked. Dean was at my side in seconds holding back my hair.

I guess the shock of decapitation beats the anger when you realize your father is planning to get himself killed.

"You good?" He asked when my body finally stopped dry heaving.

"Yeah." I said weakly.

"Dean… we can't let dad do this alone. We have to go back." I said standing up and looking at him.

He looked at me for a second and then to Sam.

"Yeah… alright well then lets go."

We drove back to where dad left us and we followed the tire tracks down for about 5 miles, we could see vehicles off in the distance. We parked off to the side and left out on foot.

When we got there dad was on the ground, unconscious. I damn near charged out there but Dean held me back and pointed at the vamp he wanted me to shoot first. Then he signaled Sam for the ones he and Sam would charge.

I nodded, took a deep breath and released my arrow nailing the vamp in the heart. When I did Dean and Sam ran out to kill the others and I ran to dad.

The main vamp Luther approached me as I got closer to dad. I raised an arrow to stab him but he knocked it out of my hand and backhanded me sending me to the ground. I tried to get up and run but he quickly pulled me up by the neck, putting me in a chokehold.

He turned to Dean who ran at him machete raised.

"Don't! Or I'll snap her neck!" He said. I could feel his grip tighten. Dean's wide eyes went to mine. I could hardly breathe his hold was so tight and I was panicking. Dean didn't pull his eyes away from mine.

"Okay wait… lets just calm down." Sam said.

"Tell him to drop it!" Luther yelled pointing at Dean.

"Dean drop the damn thing." Sam said. Dean dropped it reluctantly. Luther's grip slightly loosened. I was still struggling for air though.

"Why can't you people leave us alone. We have as much right to live as you do!" He yelled.

"I don't think so." Dad said standing behind us. When Luther turned us dad fired the gun and put a bullet right between his eyes. He dropped me to the ground and I gasped for air. Coughing. Dad picked me up and pulled me close to his side.

"LUTHER!" his mate screamed out… she went to charge Sam and Dean but another vamp held her back and dragged her to a car, they all took off.

"Come on kids… lets go." Dad said guiding us back to the truck, he dropped Dean and Sam off at the impala and we all met back at the motel to pack up.

"So.." Dad said.

"Yes sir." Sam said.

"You three ignored a direct order back there."

"Yes sir." Sam said again.

"Yeah but we saved your ass." Dean added.

"You're right." Dad said. Wait a second… did I hear that right?!

"I am?" Dean asked just as surprised.

"It scares the hell out of me. You two are all I've got. But I guess we are stronger as a family. So...we go after this damn thing. Together."

"Yes sir." We all said in unison.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

Later that night dad had us pack up and led us to where his home base has been since this whole thing started. When I walked in I could see all the news clippings, notes, pictures, drawings, flags, all of it tacked and stringed together on the walls. It was… impressive? Obsessive? I'm not sure which word fit best at this point.

"So this is it. This is everything I know. Look, our whole lives we been searching for this demon right? Not a trace, just...nothing. Until about a year ago. For the first time I picked up a trail." Dad explained sitting down at his desk messing with the colt.

"…And that's when you took off." Dean pondered outloud.

"Yeah. That's right. The demon must have come out of hiding, or hibernation."

"All right so what's this trail you found?" I asked.

"It starts in Arizona, then New Jersey, California. Houses burned down to the ground. It's going after families, just like it went after us."

"Families with infants?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. The night of the kid's six-month birthday."

"I was six months old that night right?" I asked. Putting together the pieces in my head… realizing that this comes back on me.

"Exactly six months. But… there's something you three don't know." Dad said pausing to look down.

"Dad what is it?" Sam asked.

"This demon came to our house once before then."

"Wait. What do you mean?" Sam's face was scrunched in confusion as was mine and Dean's when he asked this.

"This demon came to our house when you were exactly six months old too Sam. Your mother. She heard something on the baby monitor and woke me up to check on you… when I walked in a man was standing over your crib, then he vanished into thin air. I searched the house frantically. No signs of a break in. I checked on Dean. I even went outside and walked the perimeter, but found nothing. So I thought maybe it was all in my head. I never even mentioned it to your mother, I didn't wanna scare her. Instead I spent the next few weeks getting up once an hour every hour and checking on you boys. Making sure it was all in my head and that you weren't really in danger."

We all stood there. Shocked. How could he never tell us this?

"It wasn't till that night… when he came back. I realized that it wasn't all in my head."

My mind is racing... Does dad feel like he got mom killed? Why did it come into Sam's nursery too? What was it doing in my nursery in the first place? Why did it kill mom the second time but not dad the first time? Does this have to do with Sam's visions? Is there something… off… about me too?

I just stood there staring at whatever object was directly in front of me while I considered it all. What it could mean. Was I tied into my mom's death? Was it my fault?

"So basically, this demon is going after these kids for some reason. The same way it came for me and Emily? So Mom's death...Jessica. It's all because of us?" Sam asked.

Hearing Sam say the words out loud made it sink in. This is about us. We got mom killed.

My heart felt like it dropped to my butt and I suddenly felt like I needed to sit down. I reached back behind me and sat against the table top looking down at my feet.

"We don't know that Sam." Dean said quickly flicking his eyes between Sam and I.

"Oh really? Cause I'd say we're pretty damn sure Dean." Sam yelled.

"For the last time, what happened to them was not your fault!" Dean yelled back.

"Right. It's not my fault but it's my problem."

"No it's not your problem it's our problem!"

"Okay. That's enough. Stop getting everyone worked up." Dad said standing up. Putting an automatic end to the boy's argument. I'm sure he was referring to me, the sudden grasp I made towards the table wasn't exactly on the down low. I just... I couldn't even comment. I'm still trying to process all this new information. I couldn't look at him, or any of them.

We all sat for a minute catching our breath.

"So why's he doing it. What does he want?" I asked quietly still not looking up.

"I don't know babygirl…" He said as he crossed the room and got down to look at me eye to eye. "Look I wish I had more answers, I do. I've always been one step behind it. I've never gotten there in time to save..." Dad's voice waivered towards the end and he turned away so that his back was too us. Dad's never been able to save the mother of the families. Just like he couldn't save our mother. I can't imagine how horrible that is for him to relive again and again for the last year. Part of me felt bad for giving him so much shit.

"All right so how do we find it… before it hits again." Dean asked.

"There's signs. It took me a while to see the pattern but it's there in the days before these fires signs crop up in an area. Cattle deaths, temperature fluctations, electrical storms. And then I went back and checked...and..."

"These things happened in Lawrence?"

"A week before your mother died. And in Palo Alto...before Jessica. And these signs, they're starting again."

"Where." Sam asked, his voice strained at the mention of Jessica.

"Salvation Iowa."

It wasn't even a full half hour before we were on the road towards Iowa. I opted to ride with the boys this time. It just felt like my norm lately and I could use a little normal at the moment. It feels like my whole world is teeter tottering. Threatening to flip upside down at any moment.

I sat up front between my brothers. But I haven't said much. I'm sure they both noticed but I avoided eye contact to hopefully avoid any conversation- not that it ever worked before, guess I shouldn't be surprised it didn't work now.

"Hey Em.. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that back there… Mom's death isn't about us… It isn't about you." Sam said quietly.

"We don't really know that yet…." I replied keeping my eyes glued to the radio in front of me.

"Yes we do… it's not your fault. It all comes back to that one demon bastard. Not us. So you two need to stop trying to turn this into something its not. Got it?" Dean said harshly.

"Yeah…" Sam mumbled. I just didn't reply. Dean threw his arm over the back of the seat behind me and I leaned against it letting out a deep sigh.

Out of nowhere Dad pulled the truck off the road in front of us. Dean followed.

"Dammit!" Dad yelled getting out of the truck and slamming his door shut.

"What is it?" Dean asked as we all climbed out.

"Son of a bitch."

"Dad! What is it?"

"I just got a call from Caleb."

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine... Jim Murphy's dead." No…

"Pastor Jim? How?" I asked heartbroken. Dean noticed, like he always does, and placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

"His throat was slashed. He bled out. Caleb said they found traces of sulfur at Jim's place." My stomach rolled and I felt like I could puke.

"A demon?" Sam asked. Dad just nodded.

"The Demon?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. Could be he just got careless, he slipped up. Maybe the demon knows we're getting close."

"What do we do?"

"Now we act like every second counts. There's two hospitals and a health center in this county. We split up, cover more ground. I want records. I want a list of every infant that's going to be six months old in the next week."

"Dad that could be dozens of kids. How do we know which ones the right one?" Sam asked.

"We check em all that's how. You got any better ideas?" Dad asked noticing Sam's frustration on his face.

"No sir." Was his only response though.

Dad turned around to get back in the truck but stopped and grabbed the side of it. Slightly leaning his head down, not moving…

"Daddy?" I asked quietly. I know he is hurting… Pastor Jim was a good friend to him.

He turned around obviously upset.

"Yeah. It's Jim. You know, I can't..." he said trailing off shaking his head. "This ends, now. I'm ending it. I don't care what it takes."

He got back in the truck and we piled back into the impala and quickly pulled out behind him to follow him the rest of the way.

"You okay kiddo?" Dean asked after a minute or so.

Pastor Jim used to watch us a lot when Dad would go on long hunts and didn't want us to just sit in a motel waiting on him. I loved Pastor Jim. He taught me how to sing all the church hymns and would take me to the dollar store and let me "shop" when I was little. He was the kindest man I've ever known. He didn't deserve this. Now he's dead cause of us.

"No Dean...I'm not. This is our fault." My voice cracked on the last word.

"Em… no it's not. Please don't think that." He said putting his arm around me and putting a hand on my shoulder absent mindedly rubbing his fingers along it.

"They killed him just to get to us Dean… he was murdered just for knowing us." I said quietly.

Dean sighed and didn't have anything else to say because he knew I was right. Sam just sat silently.

I leaned over and laid against Sam's side and he wrapped his arm around me, I pulled my feet up out of my boots and tucked them behind Dean's back to keep them warm. It was another hour before we got to the hospital and I just wanted to go to sleep and pretend this whole day never existed.

When we got where Dean was dropping off Sam I offered to go with him. I know Dean was going to try and talk to me when we were alone and I wasn't ready to talk about all this yet. If I go with Sam we can just focus on the job.

"Okay. That's all in this stack… you about done kiddo?" Sam asked an hour into our search.

"Yeah. Just got a couple more then we can head out and see if Dean needs help." I replied writing down the last few names and addresses.

"Not that I mind or anything but why come with me and not Dean? You two are attached at the hip, he hates for you to be out of his line of sight and you generally don't leave it."

I sighed looking over to him.

"Because Dean pushes… I don't wanna be pushed right now. I want to process this in my own time. And you can understand that."

He shook his head, "Yeah… I guess I can. Come on lets get out of here." He said ruffling my hair. I pushed him and he laughed.

When we walked outside the hospital we were reviewing the list Sam had and then he began rubbing his head and wincing in pain.

"Sammy you okay?" I asked concerned.

"Yeah.. I just… I.. Ahh!" He grabbed his head again and leaned forward.

"Sammy! Sam!" I said getting in front of him to help support his weight.

"Sammy please talk to me! Hey!" I'm freaking the fuck out! That whole world teeter tottering thing is on the brink of tipping over.

He finally stood up again catching his breath.

"Sam what was that?!"

"A vision…" he said instantly checking his list then grabbing my arm.

"Come on we gotta go!" He said as he dragged me behind him.

What the hell is going on? Are Dad and Dean okay?! What did he see? Why don't these assholes in my family explain shit to me!

We stopped in a park and I could barely speak between breaths.

"Sam… Please.. Talk… To… Me."

He was out of breath too but too distracted to really care, he again didn't answer me but he looked up at a house across the street and then down at the woman pushing a stroller in front of it.

"Its her.. come on.." He dragged me away again.

"Hi. Here, let me hold that for you. You look like you don't need that anymore." He said reaching for the stoller while she was trying to close an umbrella with one hand.

"Oh. Thanks." She said as he held the stroller in place so she could use both her hands. He looked down at the sweet baby girl inside of it.

"She's gorgeous. Is she yours?" I asked.

"Yeah." She answered with a smile.

"Oh wow, hi!.. Oh sorry, I'm rude. I'm Sam and this is my sister Emily. We just moved in up the block." Sam said reaching out to shake her hand while I just waved.

"Hi. I'm Monica. This is Rosie."

"Rosie? Hi Rosie."

"So, welcome to the neighborhood."

"Thanks. She's such a good baby."

"I know, I mean she...she never cries. She just stares at everybody. Sometimes she looks at you and I swear it's...it's like she's reading your mind." Yeah… or something like that. I was super tempted to say it out loud but didn't.

"What about you Monica? Have you lived here long?" I asked.

"My husband and I, we bought our place just before Rosie was born."

"And how old's Rosie?" Sam asked.

"She's six months today. She's big right? Growing like a weed." Oh shit… this must be the vision thing Sam was talking about. I shot Sam a look. He looked down to Rosie. Sad… worried.. determined maybe? I was struggling to read his face.

"Yeah. Monica..."

"Yeah?"

"Just uhhh, just take care of yourself okay?" Sam said weirdly. Geez Sam. Way to be smooth about it all.

"Yeah, you too Sam. We'll see you guys around."

We watched a van pull in the drive way and honk at Monica and Rosie.

"There's Daddy!" Monica said excitedly as Sam and I walked across the street.

We were only standing there for a minute before Sam doubled over in pain clutching his head again.

"Sammy! Sammy come on… we gotta get outta here." I said grabbing my phone and dialing Dean while trying to guide Sam to a spot out of eyesight.

"Here, try this." I said handing Sam a bag of frozen peas after he got done explaining to Dad and Dean what he saw in his visions. Dad didn't know about them, but he does now.

He reached up and put the bag to his aching head, I felt so bad for him. Its bad enough to have the visions but then they leave him with these horrible headaches afterwards.

"…A vision." Dad repeated again for the 3rd time now.

"Yes. I saw the demon burning a woman on the ceiling." Sam mumbled out slowly.

"And you think this is going to happen to this woman you met because..."

"Because these things happen exactly the way I see them."

"It started out as nightmares. Then it started happening while he was awake." Dean explained as he walked across the room to refill his coffee.

"Yeah. It's like the closer I get to anything to do with the demon the stronger the visions get." Sam said wincing. I reached up and rubbed a hand on his back. I just felt the need to fix him… but I couldn't do anything to help and it was bugging the shit out of me.

"All right. When were you going to tell me about this?" Dad asked annoyed. We all froze and turned to look at him.

"We didn't know what it meant." Dean said.

"All right, something like this starts happening to your brother, you pick up the phone and you call me."

Oh you have got to be fucking shitting me right now! I was just about to open my mouth and let her rip when Dean suddenly dumped his coffee mug and turned to Dad with the most unbelievable look on his face.

"Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad I called you from Lawrence all right? Emily called you several times, especially when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone? I got a better chance of winning the lottery!"

Dad just looked at him for a moment before looking down.

"You're right. Although I'm not too crazy about this new tone of yours, you're right. I'm sorry. To all of you…" He said looking over to me. Knowing that I practically had the same conversation with him just a couple of days ago and didn't get any kind of an apology.

"Look guys, visions or no visions, fact is, we know the demon is coming tonight. And this family's gonna go through the same hell we went through." Sam said breaking the moment. Gee thanks Sam.

"No they're not. No one is, ever again." Dad said determined.

Sam's phone began to ring and he went to get up and get it but I stopped him.

"Its okay, I'll grab it. Just relax." I said getting up instead to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Emily?" A woman said. What the fuck?

"Who is this?" I asked cautiously, catching the attention of the three men in the room.

"Think real hard it will come to you." She sneered… I know that voice…. No. Fucking. Way.

"…Meg." Dean instantly crossed the room and was at my side, Sam was starting intently from in front of me and Dad stood up as well.

"Last time I saw you, you fell out of a window bitch."

"Yeah, no thanks to you. That really hurt my feelings by the way."

"Just your feelings? Maybe I can come beat the shit out of you again and see what else I can hurt. How's the face by the way?"

She laughed, "Lemme speak to your Dad." We looked up at Dad and he reached out his hand.

"I don't know where my Dad is you stupid whore, incase you forgot about Sam's little bitchfest we've been looking for him."

"Don't play games with me little bitch. It's time for the grown ups to talk, let me speak to him now."

"Little bitch?! Oh I'll show you what this lit-" Dad ripped the phone out of my hands before I could finish. I jumped up to grab it back but Dean pulled me away by my waist.

"Chill!" He said quietly, I huffed and crossed my arms.

"Fine…" We went back to listening to the conversation.

"This is John." He said.

"Howdy John. I'm Meg. I'm a friend of your kids. I'm also the one who watched Jim Murphy choke on his own blood...still there John-boy?" Dad was frozen where he stood and the room was silent.

I'm going to rip that bitch to shreds with my bare hands for what she did to Pastor Jim.

"I'm here."

"Well that was yesterday. Today I'm in Lincoln. Visiting another old friend of yours. He wants to say hi..."

"Caleb?" Dad said suddenly. We all went on alert.

"You listen to me. He's got nothing to do with anything. You let him go." Dad said angrily.

"We know you have the colt John."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, okay. Well listen to this."

I couldn't hear what was going on, but it couldn't have been good because Dad's eyes went wide and his whole body tensed.

"Caleb. Caleb!" He yelled.

"You hear that? That's the sound of your friend dying. Now let's try this again. We know you have the gun John, word travels fast. So as far as we're concerned you just declared war. And this is what war looks like. It has casualties."

"I'm gonna kill you, you know that?"

Not if I get to her first daddy dearest.

"Oh John please, mind your blood pressure. So this is the thing. We're going to keep doing what we're doing. And your friends, anyone who has ever helped you, gave you shelter, anyone you ever loved. They'll all die unless you give us that gun."

Dad stood quietly for a long minute.

"I'm waiting Johnny, better answer before the buzzer."

"Okay." Wait what?! No. He can't do that!

"Sorry? I didn't quiet get that."

"I said okay, I'll bring you the colt."

"There's a warehouse in Lincoln, on the corner of Wabash and Lake. You're gonna meet me there."

"It's gonna take me about a days drive to get there."

"Meet me there at midnight tonight."

"That's impossible. I can't get there in time and I can't just carry a gun on the plane."

"Oh. Well I guess your friends die don't they. If you do decide to make it, come alone." Meg sneered before hanging up. Dad dropped his arm to his side and took a deep breath before turning to face us.

"Okay so I'll ask the million dollar question… how the hell is she alive?" I asked.

"Shes gotta be one of them…" Dad said sitting down.

"So you think Meg is a demon?" Sam asked.

"Either that, or she's possessed by one. It doesn't really matter."

"What do we do?" Dean asked.

"I'm going to Lincoln."

"What?" I asked confused.

"It doesn't look like we have a choice. If I don't go, a lot of people die, our friends die."

"Daddy, the demon is coming tonight. For Monica and her family. That gun is all we got, you can't just hand it over."

"Who said anything about handing it over. Look, besides us and a couple of vampires no one's really seen the gun, no one knows what it looks like."

"So what, you're just going to pick up a ringer at a pawn shop?" Dean asked seeming as confused by all this as I was. This is stupid. He can't go alone.

"Antique store." Dad corrected him.

"You're going to hand Meg a fake gun and hope she doesn't notice?" I asked sarcastically.

"Look, as long as it's close, she shouldn't be able to tell the difference." He tried to reassure me.

"Yeah but for how long? What happens when she figures it out?" Dean asks.

"I just...I just need to buy a few hours, that's all."

"You…. You want us to stay here, and kill this demon by ourselves?" Sam asked irritated.

"No Sam. I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school, I want Dean to have a home, I want Emily to grow up and get married someday…. I want...I want Mary alive. It's just...I just want this to be over." He said, his voice cracking when he spoke Mom's name.

"Okay…. Fine. But you can't go alone." I said.

"Yes I can. And I am." He said sternly.

"Daddy this isn't a good idea… what if something goes wrong. You need to have someone for backup!" I argued.

"Emily I've done most of my hunts with no backup. This is no different. Besides… I want you three here. You're going to need each other."

I sighed giving up. I knew he was right, but I still hated the idea of him going alone.

Dean and I left for an antique store while Sam left with Dad to make sure he had everything he needed.

"You've been quiet these last couple of days Em… you okay?" Dean asked as we walked out of the antique shop with the old colt revolver wrapped in Dean's jacket.

"I don't know De… just a lot going on. I'm not sure how to process it all."

"Well… tell me what you're thinking."

"… Did I get mom killed? I mean the demon didn't kill dad when it came for Sam. And what the hell was it doing with me or him in the first place? I mean do you think its tied into Sam's visions? If it is then am I gonna start having visions one day?... What happens when we're face to face with this thing. What if we can't do it. What if it doesn't work. What If that poor little girl loses her mom too… what happens if one of us gets caught up in the job and gets killed… whats going to happen to Dad if he goes alone… and Meg… Dean I want to rip her limb from fucking limb… for what she did to Pastor Jim… Caleb. Dean we got those people killed. That comes back on us! Why did dad keep so many damn secrets from us.. Why does he keep leaving us behind… why isn't he facing this thing with us… If one of us dies then Dad won't survive it, I won't survive it.. Dean… I feel like I'm falling apart here, Like the ground underneath me is crumbling… I.. I just don't know whats going to happen next and it scares the hell out of me." The tears were flowing freely by the end of my ramble.

Dean reached out and wrapped both arms around me and held me close for a long few minutes. Then he bent down and put his face inches from mine.

"We're going to be okay Emily... I know it's a lot to take in… for all of us. But we're going to figure this out. We always do." He said keeping his eyes locked on mine making sure I was hearing every word he had to say.

"Promise?" I whispered.

"Promise." He said before kissing the top of my head and leading us back to the impala.

Dean never breaks his promises. If he makes it he keeps it come hell or high water. Having him promise me we'll all get through this makes me feel better. Saying it all outloud, makes me feel better. I'm not sure how he'll do it. But he will. Dean will make it all okay.

"You get it?" Dad asked as we pulled up and met them down a back road.

Dean pulled out the old revolver and handed it over to dad.

"You know this is a trap don't you. That's why Meg wants you to come alone?" Dean said as he compared the two guns side by side.

"I can handle her. I got a whole arsenal loaded. Holy water, Mandaic, amulets..."

"Dad..."

"What?"

"Promise me something."

"What's that."

"This thing goes south just...get the hell out. Don't get yourself killed all right, you're no good to us dead." Dean said seriously.

"Same goes for you…" Dad took a breath before starting again.. "All right listen to me. They made the bullets special for this colt. There's only four of them left. Without them this gun is useless. You make every shot count."

"Yes sir." Sam said.

"I've Been waiting a long time for this fight. Now it's here I'm not gonna be in it. It's up to you three now. It's your fight, you finish this. You finish what I started. Understand?"

"Yes sir." We all said.

Dad handed Dean the colt.

"We'll see you soon Dad." Sam said.

I walked up and wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. He returned it and lifted me up to where my feet couldn't touch the ground. I giggled.

"Becareful daddy… I love you." I said as he put me down.

"I will… I love you all. I'll see you later." He got in the truck and drove away.

"Later." Dean mumbled to himself.

That night we parked outside of Monica's house armed and ready. Waiting for any sign of trouble. I kept looking down at the clock on the radio, watching the minutes pass.

"Maybe we could tell em it was a gas leak. Might get em out of the house for a few hours." Sam said as we watched them clean up their dinner dishes through the window.

"Yeah and how many times has that actually worked for us?" I asked.

"Yeah… We could always tell em the truth."

Dean and I both turned to look at Sam with eyebrows raised.

"Nah.." The boys said simultaneously. I giggled. It was probably the first genuine smile I've had in days.

"I know I know. I just...with what's coming for these folks..." Sam trailed off.

"Sam we only got one move and you know it, all right? We gotta wait for that demon to show itself and then we get it before it gets them." Dean explained.

We all just watched the family follow their nightly routine through the windows. All of the lights went dark about an hour later, and we still sat in silence.

"I wonder how Dad's doing." Sam said.

"I'd feel a lot better if we were there backing him up. " I said.

"I'd feel a lot better if he were here backing us up." Dean added.

"This is weird." Sam said.

"What?" Dean asked.

"After all of these years we're finally here. It doesn't seem real."

"We just gotta keep our heads and do our job, like always."

"Yeah but this isn't like always." I added in.

"True." Dean said.

"Dean...uh...I wanna thank you." Sam started to say.

"For what?"

"For everything. You've always had my back you know? You and Em both… Even when I couldn't count on anyone I could always count on you two. And uh...I don't know I just wanted to let you know, Just in case."

"Whoa whoa whoa, are you kidding me?" Dean said.

"What?"

"Don't say just in case something happens to you. I don't wanna hear that freaking speech man. Nobody's dying tonight. Not us, not that family, nobody. Except that demon. That evil son of a bitch ain't getting any older than tonight, you understand me?" Dean had hit dad mode and was dead serious when he spoke the words. Sam just shook his head.

"Okay De." I said, "I'm going to try and call dad.. just to check in."

I dialed and it rang 4 times before I got his voicemail.

"Dad's not answering." I said trying to hid the worry in my voice.

"Maybe Meg was late. Maybe cell reception's bad." Sam said trying to reassure me.

"Yeah well what if it isn't…" I said just before we started hearing static on the radio. I grabbed Deans arm and look at his watch. It had stopped….. Its here.

"It's coming." Sam said. We all jumped out of the car and ran to the front door.

Dean quickly kicked in the door instead of wasting the time the pick the lock, but he made too much noise and when we got inside the husband charged us with a bat.

"Get out of my house!" He yelled but Dean quickly grabbed the bat and wrestled with him.

"Get out of my house!" He yelled again.

"Please please. Mr Holden please." I tried to get him to listen. Dean finally had him pinned against the wall.

"Be quiet and listen to me. Be quiet and listen. We are trying to help you." Dean said to him sternly.

"Charlie? Is everything okay?" Monica yells from upstairs.

"Monica get the baby!" He yelled back. No!

"Don't go in the nursery!" Sam yelled taking off upstairs while Dean and I tried to hold back the husband.

"You stay away from her!" He struggled harder and harder and suddenly Dean and I heard a gunshot. We looked to each other and an irritated Dean quickly punched and knocked out the husband.

"You go! I'll carry him out and be there in a second." Dean yelled to me.

I charged up the stairs and found Sam trying to pick Monica up off the ground.

"My baby!" She was yelling.

"No wait!" Sam said holding her back.

"MY BABY!" She screamed.

"Take her and go!" I yelled coming in the room.

"Rosie!" Monica yelled.

"I'll get her Monica now go!" I yelled to her, Sam led her out and I quickly grabbed Rosie out of the crib moments before it erupted into flames.

As I turned to run out Dean met me in the doorway.

"Go go go!" He said pushing me in front of him and rushing us down the stairs outside to meet Sam and Monica.

"You get away from my family!" The husband yelled as we came out the door with Monica and Rosie.

"No Charlie don't. They saved us." Monica cried stopping him from charging us again.

"Thank you." She cried as I handed her Rosie.

I turned and looked at the house that was now spilling flames out of the nursery window… There was a man standing in the room. The demon. It had to be.

"It's still in there!" Sam yelled suddenly charging to get back inside.

"Sammy No!" I reached out to grab him but Dean was in front of me already.

"Sam. Sam, no!" He said as he grabbed him.

"Dean let me go, it's still in there…" Sam said struggling against Dean's hold.

"No. It's burning to the ground, it's suicide!"

"I don't care!" He yelled. My breathing hitched.

"We do!" Dean said shaking him. He looked down at me and then back at Dean before ripping away from Dean and walking back to the impala.

Dean and I watched him and then looked to each other… we fucked up. We saved them, but we missed the demon and he's getting away. I have never felt so defeated in my life. My eyes began to water as Dean and I stared at each other. I know he felt it too.

"Come on Em.." was all he said as we got in the car and drove back to the motel.

"Come on Dad, answer your phone damn it." I said frustrated as I called him the for the 4th time now.

"Dean… Somethings wrong." I said.

Sam sat there staring ahead and Dean just rubbed his hand on the back of his neck.

"You hear me? Somethings wrong." I repeated getting upset.

"If you had just let me go in there, I coulda ended all this." Sam said staring at the floor.

"Sam, the only thing you would have ended was your life." Dean said back.

"You don't know that."

"So what, you're just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it?"

"Yeah. Yeah you're damn right I am." Sam said standing up.

"Well that's not going to happen, not as long as I'm around." Dean said harshly before turning away from him and then back to me.

"Emily just call again." I dialed the number.

"What the hell are you talking about Dean, we've been searching for this demon our whole lives. It's the only thing we've ever cared about."

"Sam I wanna waste it. I do. Okay? But it's not worth dying over."

"What?" Sam said as if Dean's words were a foreign language.

"I mean it. If hunting this demon means getting yourself killed then I hope we never find the damn thing!" Dean yelled.

"That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom." Sam yelled back.

"He's still not answering." I added in but was ignored by them both. We don't have time to argue right now… Somethings wrong! Why won't they listen to me dammit!

"You said yourself once, that no matter what we do, they're gone, and they're never coming back." Dean said.

Sam lost his temper and grabbed Dean shoving him against the wall.

"Sam! Stop it!" I yelled but was ignored again. I moved to separate them but couldn't get between them.

"Don't you say that, not you! Not after all this don't you say that." He said inches from Dean's face.

Dean was quiet when he finally spoke, "Sam look. The four of us...that's all we have...and it's all I have. Sometimes I feel like I'm barely holding it together man...and without you two or Dad..." Dean began to get teary, as did Sam. Watching them fall apart makes me nervous, puts me on edge. If Dean is losing it then you know there's some serious shit going on.

Sam finally let go and turned away running his hand over his face.

"…Dad….He should have called by now. Try him again Em."

"Okay…" I said shakily dialing again. Dean came over and stood next to me, sensing me getting upset.

"Its going to be okay Em… I'm sure he's just busy." He said watching my eyes tear up. He wrapped me into a hug and rubbed my back as I held the phone to my ear.

"You three really screwed up this time."…. Megs voice was on the other end of the line.

My entire body went rigid and my heart stopped. Dean felt it and let go, standing directly in front of me.

"Emily what is it?" He asked causing Sam to walk over too.

I opened my mouth but couldn't find the words at first… then the anger hit me.

"Where is he you bitch." I spat as if the words were venom.

"You're never going to see your daddy again." She laughed and hung up the phone.

I stood there with the phone against my ear for a moment and then it dropped to the floor without warning. You know how I mentioned that my world was teeter tottering? Yeah well it just flipped… everything has stopped. The world around me feels like it stopped spinning. Time stopped moving. Hell I couldn't even tell you If I was still breathing at the moment. Everything was wrong… and I was stuck in the center of it all.

"Emily whats going on!" Dean demanded.

My red rimmed eyes looked up and met his.

I couldn't find the words. I couldn't speak. I just stared at him with wide eyes, feeling the panic set in.

"Emily!" Dean said standing in front of me shaking my shoulders.

"…Dean." I barely choked out before falling to the floor in sobs.


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note: I'm home from vaca and past my test and I know I haven't uploaded that much lately. So I thought I'd let you guys get two chapters in one night! Especially since we're at a juicy part ;)

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Emily! Em! Come on sweetheart talk to me!" Dean said holding me up so that I didn't collapse on the floor.

"D-d-d-eannnn.." I cried.

They have my Daddy… she's got my daddy. She said I'd never see him again… what if he's dead… what are they doing to him? My daddy… I just want him back. I just wanna see him, be in his arms, have him fix this, put my world back together again. Please let him be alive… please.

Sam was standing over us just watching… confused and scared.

"Shhh.. Shh.. Come on kiddo pull it together.. you're okay.." Dean said pulling me into his chest.

"Emily come on talk to us…" Sam said quietly as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"The-they ha-a-a-ve… they, they have-e… Da-da-daddy.." I finally choked out. Sobbing again into Dean.

This time it was me who felt him go stiff. He stopped rubbing my back and just stood there with me in his arms. A few moments passed and he squeezed me tight. Then he put his head right next to mine and talked into my ear.

"Okay babygirl I want you to listen to me… I want you to go to Sam okay? You go with him, I'll get your stuff and you just get in the car…"

"Sam come here, take her." He said as he handed me off to Sam. Sam instantly wrapped one arm around my back and the other around the back of my head, gently rubbing his fingers through my hair to calm me down.

"Its okay Em…. Its going to be okay." He whispered.

Dean grabbed the colt and shoved it in his waistband, then he frantically started throwing stuff into our bags. I could tell he was freaking out too but he was trying to keep it together for Sam and I.

"What are you doing, Dean?" Sam asked.

"We got to go."

"Why?"

"Because the demon knows we're in Salvation, all right. It knows we got the Colt. It's got Dad – it's probably coming for us next."

"Good. We've still got three bullets left. Let it come.."

"Listen, tough guy, we're not ready, okay? We don't know how many of them are out there. Now, we're no good to anybody dead. We're leaving... now!"

Dean grabbed our stuff and Sam walked me out to the car, leading me to sit in the middle of him and Dean. My sobs had calmed down into just hiccups and shaky breaths at this point, but he still wasn't going to let me go.

"I'm telling you, Dean, we could have taken him." Sam said as Dean sped down the road.

"What we need is a plan. Now, they're probably keeping Dad alive, we just gotta figure out where. They're gonna wanna trade him for the gun." Dean said.

I sat up, clinging to Dean's words. Daddy's alive… he has to be.

Sam just shook his head.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Dean, if that were true, why didn't Meg mention a trade?... Dad, he might be..."

"Don't!" Dean yelled abruptly. He looked at me and read the terror on my face as I considered Sam's words.

"Look, I don't want to believe it any more than you. But if he is, all the more reason to kill this damn thing. We still have the Colt. We can still finish the job."

"Screw the job, Sam!" Dean yelled. I just started to cry again. I didn't want to be in the middle of them yelling at each other.

"Please… just stop.." I pleaded quietly.

Sam sighed as Dean wrapped his arm around me pulling me into his side.

"Dean, I'm just trying to do what he would want. He would want us to keep going."

"Quit talking about him like he's dead already! Look at her… you're not helping! You're making it worse and I'm not going to let you keep on with it. Dad is alive, he's going to be fine. Listen to me, everything stops until we get him back, you understand me? Everything." Dean said sternly.

I couldn't see Sam or Dean's face but I'm sure Sam was starting to feel guilty about now realizing that he was upsetting me all over again. I had just began to think that maybe he was still alive when Dean mentioned the trade… but what if Sam's right?

"So how do we find him?" Sam asked after a few minutes.

"Maybe we go to Lincoln. Start at the warehouse where he was taken."

"Come on, Dean, you really think these demons are going to leave a trail?"

"You're right. We need help…" Dean said before the car went silent.

About 30 minutes later Dean pulled over and went to the trunk. He came back with a water bottle and two small white pills.

"Kiddo take these and go lay down in the backseat… we're going to be on the road a while and I want you to get some rest… its been a long night." He said handing me the water bottle and the pills.

"No De I wanna stay up here with you.." I said.

"I'm not going anywhere Kiddo, I promise. I'll be right up here the whole time, but I need you to sleep some… its going to be a long day ahead of us and I need you ready to go okay?"

"De I don't want to sleep right now I wanna go find daddy…" I said with my eyes watering again. I know he's right. I know I need to sleep. Its been a couple of days since I've slept more than a couple of hours at a time. I know that he wants me to sleep instead of sitting in this car for hours wondering if Dad is dead or alive… I know he's right. But I don't want to go to sleep… what if I wake up and something else has happened.

"We are Em… we'll wake you up when we get there, come on I'll sit back there with you." Sam said

"You promise you'll wake me up if anything happens…"

"I promise. Come on, take them." Dean said handing me the pills. I swallowed them quickly and got out climbing in the backseat. Sam sat down against the window and I balled up my jacket and threw it on his lap as a pillow. I laid down and slowly drifted off to sleep while Sam ran his fingers through my hair, putting me to sleep like he did when we were little.

(DEAN'S POV)

"She asleep?" I asked Sam about an hour after I sent her to lay down in the back.

"Yeah man she's out. What'd you give her?"

"Couple of pain pills. Should keep her knocked out for a solid 6-8 hours."

"Where are we going Dean…"

"Bobby's… he'll know what to do."

"Are you sure Bobby will even let us on the property… He almost shot Dad last time we were there."

"Yeah but you see, he loves that little girl sleeping in your lap. He never had anything against us, just dad. I'm hoping he'll still wanna help. For our sake." At least I hope so. Bobby has always had a soft spot for Emily. Most of Dad's old friends did, but Bobby really did, so did that damn mean old dog of his. He hates everyone, even Bobby. He makes a great junk yard dog, but when Emily came around, he was like a totally different dog. I guess she just has that affect on everyone.

"Dean I'm sorry… I didn't mean to upset her more… I didn't think before I spoke. I just… I wanna kill this thing so bad."

"I know Sammy. Its okay… its another reason why its better if she just sleeps this ride off. Last thing I need is her spending the next 10 hours wondering whether or not Dad is dead."

"Did you mean what you said, or were you just saying it for her?"

"I meant it. It makes sense. Why kill Dad when they can still use him against us."

"…. And what do we do if it's the other way around." Dammit I wish he would knock that shit off.

"It's not going to be Sam. Give it a rest. Dad's alive." I said sternly.

I glanced back in the mirror and looked to Emily… I don't know Meg's exact words to her but whatever they were they shook her up good. Emily doesn't fall apart over nothing… I've been trying to hold it together for her and Sam since she hung up that phone. I knew something was wrong when he didn't answer the first time, or the second, or the third. We're so close to getting this bastard, I'll be damned if I'm going to let him get any of us first. He took more than enough from us already… I refuse to let him take anything more. I'm getting Dad back. If it's the last thing I do.

(EMILY'S POV)

When I woke up it was daylight. Sam was lightly snoring from above me with his head leaned against the window, poor guy. I'm sure he was uncomfortable but didn't wanna move and risk waking me up.

I slowly turned over to lay on my back and stretched out my legs that I had folded in against the seat, they were stiff and popped at the knees.

"That you moving around back there kiddo?" Dean asked.

I slowly sat up, "Yeah… how long was I out for?"

"About 9 hours. We're almost there… You can come up here as long as you don't wake up the bean stalk." He said grinning at me, I half smiled back and quietly climbed my way from the back seat to the front. I finally sat down and scooted over to lean against Dean, he quickly moved his arm so I could lay against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry De."

"For what?"

"Last night…. Falling apart when we had bigger problems going on."

"Emily I don't know why you worry about that. Its okay to get upset at shit like this, hell. I was upset last night too… so was Sammy. Now we just got get back into hunter mode, find dad, and finish the job. Simple as that."

"Yeah.."

"So what exactly did they say last night?"

I took a deep breath and fiddled with my hands.

"She said I would never see daddy again, then she laughed and hung up the phone." I whispered.

"Its not true kiddo, we're going to find him."

"Where are we headed right now?"

Dean looked down to me and grinned, "It's a surprise."

"Dean the last thing I need right now is a surprise…"

"Just… trust me on this one kiddo. We're almost there, you'll see."

Twenty minutes later we pulled into Singer Salvage Yard. I quickly looked around for the big dark rottweiler when I jumped out of the car.

"Rumsfield!" I yelled when I spotted him on top of an old truck, I ran to him and he jumped up licking my face.

"Hey big boy! Oh I missed you!" I said rubbing his head.

Dean and Sam walked up behind me and Rumsfield growled at them.

"Damn dog…" Dean mumbled as they walked up and knocked on the door. I quickly scratched behind Rumsfield's ear and then ran to catch up to them.

Uncle Bobby opened the door and did a double take, looking at the boys and then down to me.

"Emily Anne! Come here you little rascal!" He said as I reached out and he pulled me into a hug. Uncle Bobby was my favorite of all dad's "friends". He really was like family when I was growing up. If we weren't with Pastor Jim then we were with Bobby. He was the only person who ever gave me my own room. Told me once that princesses don't share rooms, they get their own. Then he let me help paint and decorate it, I'm sure its still purple and blue to this day.

"Uncle Bobby we missed you!" I said as we pulled out of the hug.

"What are you kids doing here? Is everything okay?" He asked.

We all kinda stopped and looked at each other.

"Well go on now what is it?" He prodded.

"Bobby we uh.. we need our help." Dean said.

"Well come on in then, let me get the whiskey." He said walking away.

I followed him into the old crowded dusty living room… I sear this place hasn't changed a bit. I probably haven't been here in 3 or 4 years but its all still the same.

"So are you 3 going to tell me what's wrong or are we gonna play 20 questions…"

"… They have Daddy." I said quietly, all of the happiness and excitement of seeing him again left my face.

"Shit." Was all he could muster up to say.

A little bit later Sam and I were flipping through some of his books about Demons while Dean filled him in on the everything.

"Here you go." He said handing dean a small silver flask.

"What is this – holy water?" Dean asked.

"That one is." Then he pulled out another flask… "This is whiskey." He said before taking a shot and handing it off to Dean.

"Bobby, thanks. Thanks for everything. To tell you the truth, I wasn't sure we should come."

"Nonsense. Your Daddy needs help."

"Well, yeah, but last time we saw you, I mean, you did threaten to blast him full of buckshot. Cocked the shotgun and everything."

"Yeah, well, what can I say? John just has that effect on people."

"Yeah, I guess he does."

"None of that matters now. All that matters is that you get him back."

"Bobby, this book... I've never seen anything like it." Sam said interrupting them. Rude.

"Key of Solomon? It's the real deal, alright." He said walking over.

"And these, uh, these protective circles. They really work?"

"Hell, yeah. You get a demon in - they're trapped. Powerless. It's like a Satanic roach motel."

"Ew." Sam and I chuckled.

"Man, knows his stuff." Dean said.

"I'll tell you something else, too. This is some serious crap you kids stepped in."

"Oh, yeah? How's that?" I asked.

"Normal year, I hear of, say, three demonic possessions. Maybe four, tops."

"Yeah?" Dean questioned.

"This year I hear of 27 so far. You get what I'm saying? More and more demons are walking among us – a lot more."

"Do you know why?" I asked.

"No darlin, but I know it's something big. The storm's coming, and you three, your Daddy – you are smack in the middle of it."

We all exchanged a glance and then Rumsfield started to bark outside… then whimper.

"Rumsfield!" I jumped up and ran to the window only to see half of the chain swinging, no Rumsfield.

"Oh my god… where'd he go.." I asked looking to Bobby.

"Something's wrong." Was his only reply.

"Emily come here, get away from the window now." Dean called. I quickly crossed the room and stood between him and Sam, reaching around to make sure my gun was on me.

Suddenly the door is flung open and there stands Meg… Oh this bitch is all mine now.

"You filthy little whore…" I said charging at her but she quickly flung me into the air across the room and I landed with a thud against one of Bobby's bookshelves.

"No more crap!"

Dean rushed over to help me up, Sam positioned himself between Meg and Bobby and carefully began backing them away from her.

"I want the Colt, Sam – the real Colt – right now." She sneered.

Meg followed them step for step as they walked into the other room. Dean and I shared a look and he picked me up off the ground.

"We don't have it on us. We buried it." Sam quickly lied. A shitty lie too.

"Didn't I say "no more crap"? I swear – after everything I heard about you Winchesters, I got to tell you, I'm a little underwhelmed. First Johnny tries to pawn off a fake gun, and then he leaves the real gun with you chuckleheads. Lackluster men and a sad little girl. I mean, did you really think I wouldn't find you?" She said as Dean and I came up behind her.

"Actually, we were counting on it." Dean said as I pointed up to the ceiling above her where a Devil's trap had been painted on.

Meg looked up slowly, then back down to me.

"Gotcha bitch." I said smiling.

Sam and Dean quickly tied her up while I stood in the corner watching.

"You know, if you wanted to tie me up, all you had to do was ask." She said seductively to Sam.

"I salted the door and windows. If there are any demons out there – they ain't getting in." Bobby said entering the room.

"Where's our father, Meg?" Dean asked standing in front of her.

"You didn't ask very nice." She replied playfully. Sick twisted little whore.

"Where's our father, bitch?"

"Jeez. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh wait, I forgot, you don't."

I went to get up and beat the hell out of her yet again but Sam grabbed my arm and told me to wait.

Dean lunged at her resting his hands on the chair arms and yelling with his face inches from hers.

"You think this is a fucking game? Where is he?! What did you do to him?"

"He died screaming. I killed him myself." She said looking at me. No.. no no no..

"Hey! You look at me!" Dean yelled standing between her and I.

I could feel my heart drop again, my palms became sweaty and my body felt hot all over. I reached out and grabbed Sam's arm, squeezing it, he simply moved to stand closer to me.

"Oh but I have so much fun with your baby sister.." she smirked, then Dean reached back and landed a hit to her face.

"That's kind of a turn on – you hitting a girl."

"You're no girl."

"Dean…" Bobby said getting his attention and leading him out of the room. Sam followed, but I stayed right there. Eyes locked on Meg.

"You know its rude to stare." She said raising an eyebrow at me. I slowly began crossing the distance between us.

"I swear on everything that is holy I'm going to kill you…" I said low getting close to her.

"Oh sweetheart you don't have the balls to take on something like me." She laughed.

I reached back and landed a punch to her face… then another… and another. After a minute or so I had knocked over the chair she was sitting in and was straddling it and her.

"Where is my dad!" I screamed at her.

"He's dead, I slit his throat like I did the preacher and watched as the blood poured out onto the floor!" She said back spitting blood at me.

I held her face in place and swung over and over and over again, I didn't stop until I was suddenly in the air, being carried away.

"Let me go! Put me down!" I struggled against whoever had a hold on me. I couldn't see anything but red, I wanted to kill her. I didn't want to stop.

"Emily! Stop!" the person carrying me out of the room yelled.

"No! She killed them! She killed them! She killed Jim.. and Caleb.. and Rumsfield! And she killed my Daddy!" I screamed, but they quickly turned into cries.

I struggled and struggled to pull away and get back to her. I wanted to rip her apart for what she did..

"Emily Anne! Stop!" The person finally pinned me against the wall and stood in front of me. It took a long minute for me to realize it was Dean, and Bobby was behind him.

"She killed him… Dean she killed him.." I cried out loudly still struggling to get back to her.

"No she didn't! Now stop! Just listen to me! Listen!" Dean yelled in my face.

I finally stopped pushing against him and stood there, looking at him.

"Emily he is not dead… but you have to stay out here. I gotta finish this and find out where he is."

"No.. I wanna go back in there!" I argued.

"No. You're not. You're not in the mindset to be in that room right now. You're too emotional. Just stay here."

"No! I'm going back in there Dean." I said stubbornly.

Dean suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me into the hallway, then he shoved me into a closet and locked the door. I started slamming on the door.

"Dean! Open the door! Dammit Dean! Open it!"

"Bobby don't let her out of this damn closet or so help me god." I heard him say before I heard his footsteps walking away.

"Bobby! Uncle Bobby please! Open the door! Please!" I cried against the door.

"Emily I can't do that… You don't need to be in there. Its too much for you." He said back softly.

"No! Please… Please let me out!" I screamed throwing my body against the door over and over again.

I eventually stopped and fell to the floor of the closet… my daddy is dead. I knew I should've gone with him. He shouldn't have gone alone. I coulda stopped this. We shoulda stayed together… why did we let him leave.

I crawled until I felt my back hit the corner and pulled my knees up to my chest, rocking myself back and forth back and forth.

I could hear yelling in the other room, but couldn't make out any of the words. This went on for a solid 20 minutes or so before things got quiet, and I could hear as Bobby's footsteps walked away from the door.

Not long after that the door opened and Sam leaned down, "Emily come on we gotta go… dad's alive."

"No he's not… she killed him Sammy.." I said refusing to get up.

"No baby… no she didn't… come on, lets go get him."

"Sammy he's gone…" I started to cry again.

"Emily Anne Winchester you look at me right now… that man is alive and breathing, and we have a lead on where. Now come on kiddo, we gotta go... we gotta go find him." He said reaching out his hand. I hesitantly took it and let him lead me outside to the impala, we didn't even get to say goodbye to Uncle Bobby.

Dean was already in the driver seat, I didn't want to sit by him so I just got in the backseat and closed the door. I could feel him look at me through the mirror but I refused to look back. Sam got in and Dean took off down the road.

"Kiddo I'm s-"

"Don't fucking talk to me right now." I quickly cut him off.

"Emily you left me no choice… I had to remove you from the situation."

"Dean you locked me in the fucking closet! Like a piece of fucking trash or some shit! I deserved to be a part of that as much as you or Sam!"

"Yes but you couldn't handle it like me and Sam! You were out of control in there! It took all three of us to pull you off! Dammit Emily don't you get what she was doing?! She was trying to get you all riled up and you let her… You didn't need to be in there any longer. You'd done enough." He said harshly.

"You're so full of shit Dean… "

"Dammit Em I've got enough on my plate right now and I'm not going to take this shit from you today!" He said as he swerved off to the side of the road and parked to turn around and face me.

"Now you're either going to suck it the fuck up and move on or I'll turn around and leave your ass with Bobby! We gotta find dad, he's still alive and we finally have a lead on where… Now are you going to fucking help or should I turn around?!"

I sat and looked at him for a few seconds before turning back to look out the window…

"Good." He mumbled before speeding off.

We made it to Missouri in record time and were parked in an abandoned warehouse parking lot by the river.

"So what were her exact words?" I asked Sam.

"She said it was by the river… then she said the word sunrise but she died before she could explain." Sam said while flipping through a book from Bobby's.

"Sunrise by the river…" I pondered outloud.

Sam turned to Dean who was cleaning weapons.

"You've been quiet." Sam said to him concerned.

"Just getting ready." Yeah and still being pissed at me. Which is fine, I'm still pissed at him too.

"He's gonna be fine, Dean." Sam said, but Dean didn't answer.

A few moments later Sam began drawing on the trunk of the impala…. Ummm. That's a really fucking bad idea!

"Dude, what are you drawing on my car!" Dean yelled noticing it as well.

"It's called a Devil's trap. Demons can't get through it or inside it."

"So?"

"It basically turns the trunk into a lockbox."

"So?"

"So, we have a place to hide the Colt while we go get Dad."

"What are you talking about? We're bringing the Colt with us."

"We can't, Dean. We've only got three bullets left. We can't just use them on any demon, we've got to use them on the demon."

"No, we have to save Dad, Sam, okay? We're gonna need all the help we can get."

"Dean, you know how pissed Dad would be if we used all the bullets? Dean, he wouldn't want us to bring the gun."

"I don't care, Sam. I don't care what Dad wants, okay? And since when do you care what Dad wants?"

"We want to kill this demon. You used to want that, too. Hell, I mean, you're the one who came and got me at school! You're the one who dragged me back into this, Dean. I'm just trying to finish it!"

Normally I would intervene in this argument but instead I just stood there.

"Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can't wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I'm gonna be the one to bury you. You're selfish, you know that? You don't care about anything but revenge."

"That's not true, Dean. I want Dad back. But they are expecting us to bring this gun. They get the gun, they will kill us all. That Colt is our only leverage and you know it, Dean. We can not bring that gun. We can't."

"Fine."

"I'm serious, Dean."

"I said fine, Sam." Dean took out the colt and threw it in the trunk in front of Sam. Sam walked off and I watched as Dean reached back in and grabbed the gun, tucking it into his waistband.

He looked up to my and I just shook my head.

"…Shut up." He said before walking off to catch up to Sam, and then me behind him.

We walked around the corner and came out on the street.

"Hey, hey.." Dean stopped us, "Think I know what Meg meant by Sunrise." He pointed to an apartment building across the street that had the word Sunrise on the front of it.

"Son of a bitch. That's pretty smart. I mean, if these demons can possess people they can possess almost anybody inside." I said.

"Yeah, and make anybody attack us." Sam added.

"And so we can't kill them – a building full of human shields." Dean continued.

"They probably know exactly what we look like, too. And they could look like anybody." I said.

"Yeah, this sucks out loud." Dean said.

"Tell me about it. Alright, so, how the hell are we going to get in?" Sam asked.

"… Pull the fire alarm, get out all the civilians?" I suggested.

"Okay, but then the city responds in, what, seven minutes?" Sam asked.

"Seven minutes exactly." Dean said.

It took us a few minutes to get a plan together but we eventually did. We sent in Sam and he inconspicuously got inside and pulled the alarm, we pretended to by bystanders until the fire dept. showed up. Then It was my turn.

I found a younger looking guy standing by the fire trucks, I walked up to him.

"Excuse me… is there a fire?" I asked with big puppy dog eyes.

"I'm sure its nothing maam but its safer if you stay back."

"But… I.. I've got this yorkie… and he pees when he's nervous." I said getting "worried."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Sam and Dean unlock the door on the truck and quickly snag 3 suits and helmets, we ran around the corner and put them on before walking into the building as if we belonged there.

We were sweeping the building floor by floor with the EMF meter.

"I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up." Dean said.

"You never told me that." Sam replied. I just rolled my eyes.

We walked past a room and the meter began to go crazy. We all shared a quick look indicating that we were ready.

"This is the fire department. We need you to evacuate." Dean said as he banged on the door. We heard the locks click and a woman opened the door, Dean pushed it hard knocking her back and we came in spraying holy water on her and the other possessed person in the room. We struggled for a minute before getting them locked in the closet and sprinkling salt all over the door to trap them.

We quickly shed the suits and Dean led us to the bedrooms.

When he opened the door I stopped breathing.

"Daddy!" I yelled and went to run for him but Dean grabbed my arm and held me back.

"No.. no Em wait here."

"Dean its daddy…" I cried looking at his body. He was tied to the bed, not moving, I couldn't even tell if he was breathing. Sam wrapped his arms around me and held me as Dean walked up to Dad and tried to listen for breath sounds.

"Dad?..." he said. Then he leaned down and listened, "He's still breathing. Dad, wake up. Dad!"

I finally took a breath and squeezed Sam's arm that he had wrapped around my torso, I was so relieved my daddy was alive, Sam dropped his arm and I rushed over to help Dean cut dad loose.

"Wait. Wait…" Sam said stopping us.

"What?" I asked confused.

"He could be possessed for all we know."

"What, are you nuts?" Dean said.

"Dean, we got to be sure." Sam said as he pulled out some holy water and sprinkled it on dad, he began to stir awake.

"Sam? Why are you splashing water on me?"

"Daddy, are you okay?" I said getting up right next to his face.

"They've been drugging me. Where's the Colt?"

"Don't worry, Dad, it's safe." Sam said.

"Good kids…" Dad mumbled. Dean and I finished cutting him free and he and Sam lifted him up off the bed and followed behind as I walked into the living room, but suddenly two more demons walked in.

"Go! Go!" Dean said leading us back into the bedroom, shutting and locking the door behind us.

"Back! Back!" he yelled moments before an axe comes through the door. Shit!

I quickly dropped the duffle bag I was carrying to the floor and pulled out a large can of salt and began making a line across the door, the axe stopped and Dean led us over to the window in front of the fire escape.

"Sam, Em, let's go!"

I ran salt along the windowsill after Dean and Sam got daddy out and then followed behind them.

When I made it down Dean and Sam were getting daddy into the impala, but someone grabbed me from behind and slammed me on the ground.

"Emily!" Dean yelled as I suddenly felt a sharp pain on my wrist, then another, I looked up and there was a man standing on top of my hand crushing it.

He picked me up and slammed me against the brick building by my neck and began punching me, I could vaguely see Dean charge him but the man threw him into a car with just the swing of his arm. Things were going blurry when I heard a gunshot, suddenly the man dropped me.

Sam quickly grabbed me and pulled me into the backseat next to Dad, I felt dizzy and I could taste blood.

"Come on. We got to get out of here." Dean said as Sam climbed into the car.

Dean drove us out to a cabin in the middle of nowhere, the boys carried dad inside and then Dean came back outside for me.

"Alright Em come on, I gotcha." He said reaching in and helping me to stand. He half carried me in and sat me on the couch in the living room before going to get the first aid kit.

"How ya feeling kiddo.." He asked as he took a wet rag to my face to clean the blood off. I could tell I was forming a black eye and the guy had cut the skin over my eyebrow.

"A little dizzy… how's dad?"

"He's fine Em… just sleeping off the drugs. Emily… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have locked you up. I was a little out of my mind at the time."

"I know Dean." I said wincing as he touched my brow again.

"I don't want you made at me kiddo… I just. I didn't want you to hear the things she was saying, I didn't want to put you through that."

"I know… I'm sorry too Dean. I just… I thought we lost him." I said looking up and finally meeting his gaze.

"But we didn't… he's okay. We're all okay... how's the wrist?"

"It hurts."

"Can you move it?" he asked. I went to bend it and had to stop about half way, gasping when a sharp pain hit.

"Is it broken?" I asked as he carefully examined it.

"No… I don't think so, but we're going to wrap it up, hang tight here for a second."

"Okay…" I sat thinking… I really did lose It today. I went red. I wasn't going to stop. I really would have beat her to death and then I would have lost any lead we had on Dad. I jeopardized the case.

"Alright kiddo hold it out straight for me." Dean said as he sat down in front of me and tightly wrapped my wrist with an ace bandage.

"Thanks De."

"No problem kiddo."

"How is she?" Sam asked coming out of the backroom.

"She's okay for now, a little dizzy and a sprained wrist. How's dad?" Dean asked.

"He just needed a little rest, that's all. Hey, you don't think we were followed here, do you?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I mean, we couldn't have found a more out-of-the-way place to hole up."

"Yeah. Nice job back there… saving Em."

"I guess that means you're glad I brought the gun then?" Dean said rubbing it in. What an ass.

"Man, I'm trying to sorry here." Sam chuckled

"Its all good Sammy."

"You know…" Dean started.

"I realized something today."

"What's that?" I asked.

I killed an innocent man today… there was a person in there with that demon when I shot him… there was a girl in megs body. I killed them, I didn't flinch or hesitate. I just killed. Sometimes it scares me… how far I'd go for you two, for dad… Emily to keep you safe I think I'd slaughter the world if that's what it took. Scares the hell out of me.

"It shouldn't. You did good." Dad said walking into the room behind us all. "

"You're not mad?" Dean asked.

"For what?"

"Using a bullet."

"Mad? I'm proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you and Em– you watch out for this family. You always have."

"Thanks." Dean said kinda confused.

My stomach began to roll and I felt this strong urge to run. Somethings wrong… I don't know what the hell is going on, but something. Somethings not right.

The wind suddenly picks up and the lights start to flicker… dad goes to look out the window.

"It found us. It's here." He says.

"The demon?" Sam asked.

"Sam, lines of salt in front of every window, every door."

"I already did it."

"Well, check it, okay?" Dad pushed.

I'm slowly starting to realize… dad. Somethings wrong with dad.

I reached up and pulled on Dean's sleeve.

"De…. Somethings wrong." I whispered when he turned to look at me.

He quickly nodded and looked away but he put his hand behind his back and motioned for me to come stand directly behind him. I quickly did so.

"Dean, you got the gun?" Dad asked

"Yeah."

"Give it to me."

"Dad, Sam tried to shoot the demon in Salvation. It disappeared."

"This is me. I won't miss. Now, the gun, hurry."

"Dean don't…" I whispered from behind him. Staring at the man that I wasn't beginning to realize wasn't actually my father.

Dean hesitated and looked down at the ground as he pulled from his waistband… My heart was racing. I knew he wasn't going to just hand it over. He could sense it too. Somethings off here.

"Son, please." Dad said.

Dean reached back and pulled me closer against him and slowly started to back us both up before he raised and aimed the gun at dad.

"Give me the gun. What are you doing, Dean?"

"..He'd be furious." Dean said his voice cracking.

"What?"

"That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn't be proud of me, he'd tear me a new one."

Dean cocked the gun.

"You're not my Dad."

"Dean, it's me." He tried to argue, but I knew better.

"I know my Dad better than anyone. And you ain't him."

"What the hell's gotten into you? Emily get away from him now… he's lost his damn mind!" He reached out for me. Deans grip on my shirt tightened as if he though I might actually go, is he crazy?!

"I… I can't. I'm not leaving Dean." I said

"Emily… what's wrong with you." He said, It was killing me… he looks like my daddy. Sounds like my daddy. But I just… I can feel it. Its not him.

"Dean? What the hell's going on?" Sam said walking back into the room.

"Your brother's lost his mind… he's dangerous and he won't let your sister go."

"He's not Dad." I quickly said.

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"I think he's possessed. I think he's been possessed since we rescued him." Deans voice started to crack again. This was tearing him apart.

"Don't listen to him, Sammy." Dad said.

"Dean, how do you know?"

"He's ... he's different." Dean said starting to get upset. I squeezed his hand.

"Sammy its not him… I swear." I said turning to Sam and backing Dean up.

"You know, we don't have time for this. Sam, you wanna kill this demon, you've gotta trust me."

Sam stood there and looked back and forth between us and Dad a few times, but he slowly stepped to stand next to Dean and I.

"Sam?" Dad said as if he was hurt.

"No…" was all he said back.

(SAM'S POV)

"Fine. You're all so sure, go ahead. Kill me." He said.

Dean's shaking hand held the gun up and out, but he couldn't do it. Even as dad lowered his head, all Dean could do was drop the gun.

"I thought so." He said with a tone I've never heard before, when he looked back up at us his eyes were yellow.

I lunged at him but before I could comprehend what happened all three of us were thrown against the wall, being pinned there. Dean dropped the colt and it hit the ground, the demon possessing my father came over and picked it up.

"What a pain in the ass this thing's been." He said as he tossed it around in his hands.

"It's you, isn't it? We've been looking for you for a long time." I said.

"Well, you found me." He smiled with bright yellow eyes.

"But the holy water?" Em asked.

"You think something like that works on something like me?"

Sam is fighting against the force holding us against the wall, but its useless.

"I'm gonna kill you!" I yelled. This is it. This is my chance. For revenge.. for Mom… For Jess.

"Oh, that'd be a neat trick. In fact here. Make the gun float to you there, psychic boy." He said as he laid the gun on the table in front of me. I focused and looked at it but nothing happened.

"Well, this is fun. I could've killed you a hundred times today, but this... this is worth the wait." He said walking over to stand next to Dean. Dean struggled but was also pinned.

"Your Dad – he's in here with me. Trapped inside his own meat suit. He says "hi", by the way. He's gonna tear you apart. He's gonna taste the iron in your blood."

"Let him go, or I swear to God –" Dean said.

"What? What are you and God gonna do? You see, as far as I'm concerned, this is justice. You know that little exorcism of yours? That was my daughter."

"Who, Meg?"

"The one in the alley? That was my boy. You understand."

"You've got to be kidding me." Dean said.

"What? You're the only one that can have a family? You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family? Oh, that's right. I forgot. I did. Still, two wrongs don't make a right." He said sarcastically.

"You son of a bitch." Em said.

"I wanna know why. Why'd you do it?" I suddenly asked before he could go over and speak to Emily. I don't want him even looking at her.

"You mean why did I kill Mommy and pretty, little Jess?"

"Yeah."

"You know, I never told you this, but Sam was going to ask her to marry him." The demon spoke to me and Dean… "Been shopping for rings and everything." Then he turned to Sam, "You want to know why? Because they got in the way."

"In the way of what?"

"My plans for you, Sammy. You... and all the children like you."

"Who like me… you have plans for me you bastard?" Em asked him. I wish she would stop drawing attention to herself.

"Oh Emily. The plans I have for you were far more extravagant if I needed them to be… but Sammy here has done a great job so far. Looks like you may just get to ride this one out on the bench."

"What the hell are you talking about?" She asked him.

"Well aren't you curious… why I came to see Sammy and then came back for you?"

"Why did you kill my mother…"

"You see Emily, you're like the B-string. The back up. If anything went wrong with Sammy here I needed another quarterback ready to go. Mommy… well. She just managed to get in the way that night. So I took care of it."

"You sick twisted mother fucker."

He laughed, "Oh you haven't seen twisted yet… you thought what I did to you in your dreams was scary? You just wait and see what I've got in store for you"

"Listen, you mind just getting this over with, huh? Cause I really can't stand the monologuing." Dean said drawing his attention away from Em.

"Funny, but that's all part of your M.O., isn't it? Masks all that nasty pain, masks the truth."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

"You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is they don't need you. Not like you need them. Emily – she's clearly John's favorite. And Sam. Even when they fight, it's more concern than he's ever shown you."

"I bet you're real proud of your kids, too, huh? Oh wait, I forgot. I wasted 'em." Dean smiled at him and the demon lowered his head, when he lifted it back up Dean began to scream out in pain.

"Dean! No!" I yelled.

The blood started to pour out of his chest.

"Stop it! Stop! Daddy please! You're killing him!" Emily screamed. Finally he stopped and turned to look at her.

"Oh would you like a turn?" He said walking over to her. No! No not Em!

"Hey! Hey you get away from her!" I yelled trying to get him to focus on me.

"Dad, please!" Dean called out.

"Lets see if you remember how this dream ends…" He said as he lifted her slowly up the wall until she was pinned on the ceiling. No… god no please!

"Daddy! Stop please! Stop!" She cried out.

"Emily!" Dean yelled with tears rolling down his face, the fear in his eyes tripled the fear I felt. I can't watch this again… I can't… Not Emily!

"Stop it! Stop! Let her go!" I yelled fighting as hard as I could to get off the wall but it wasn't budging.

Red blood started to stain her shirt across her stomach.

"Ahhh!" she screamed out in pain. I watched as blood dripped slowly onto the floor in front of us.

"Hmm.. now this looks familiar." The demon sneered looking to Dean and I.

"Put her down! You put her down or I'll fucking kill you!" Dean yelled.

"Kill me?! Ha!" He said laughing.

Then he reached up and more blood started to fall from Emily's body, she cried out in pain. Begging for him to stop.

I pulled and pulled and pulled, I felt like I could pass out but I wasn't going to stop until she was down… I can't. I can't let him kill her! Not like this! Not like mom, like Jess! No not again!

"Dad! Please… Dad stop this!" I yelled out to him tears rolling down my face.

Suddenly Dad looked down and whispered to himself, "Stop… stop it."

The force pinning us to the wall disappeared and Dean and I dropped from the wall, Emily fell from the ceiling and wasn't moving. Dean scrambled to her weakly and I reached for the gun. I turned to Dad and held it up, but he was crying.

"Sam its still inside me… I can feel it. You shoot me son! You shoot me in the heart!" He cried.

I stood there frozen, unsure of what to do… I can't kill my own father. I can't.

"No! Sammy don't!" Emily cried out.

"Sam stop… don't. Don't do it. Dean said weakly… He was still bleeding from somewhere.

"You kill me, you kill Daddy." He cried.

The tears flowed down my face and I held the gun up to him, cocking it.

"Sammy! No… please." Emily cried from behind me.

"I fired the gun into his leg and he collapsed to the ground."

"Daddy!" Emily screamed. I turned around and ran over to them.

"Dean? Dean, hey? Oh God, you've lost a lot of blood." I said when I reached them, he was bleeding more than Em.

"Where's Dad?"

"He's right here. He's right here, Dean."

"Sammy is he dead… please…" Emily cried out laying on the floor covered in blood from her and Dean.

"No baby its just his leg." I said as I lifted her shirt to examine the cut, its deep. She and Dean both need a hospital.

"Go check on him Sammy." She said.

"Em no I gotta get you and Dean first."

"Sammy please he has to be okay." She started to cry again.

"Shh… shh. Okay okay. Here. Hold this." I wadded up a towel and held it against her stomach to apply pressure to slow the bleeding.

I walked over to dad who was laying there motionless on the floor.

"Dad.. Dad wake up." I shook him awake. He shot up.

"I got him.. I still got a hold on him Sammy! You've gotta hurry! I can't hold onto it much longer! You shoot me, son! Shoot me! Son, I'm begging you! We can end this here and now! Sammy!" He cried out to me.

"Sam, no." Dean pleaded behind me.

"You do this! Sammy! Sam…" Dad called out. I raised the gun again but it was too late, the black cloud of smoke flew from Dad's mouth and then disappeared through the floorboards.

The look dad gave me was enough to kill me… He was pissed. He was disappointed. His eyes were like fire, but how could he expect me to kill my own father?

I turned around and picked up Em, carrying her and putting her in the backseat before going back to get Dean. Dad limped to the impala and climbed in the front seat.

(EMILY'S POV)

I don't know how much blood I've lost but I know its a lot… I'm feeling woozy… Sam put a make shift bandage around my stomach but It was soaked through already. I looked over to Dean. He was barely awake and even worse off then I was.

"De…" I said weakly, reaching over and grabbing his hand.

"Yeah kiddo." He said interlocking his fingers in mine. I laid down and rested my head on his leg.

"I love you…" I said… just incase.

"Shhh… we'll be fine… you'll see Em. It'll be okay." He said reaching down and rubbing his hand on my head.

"De you have to say it back."

He grumbled…"I'm not dying… you ain't dying. I'll say it after they get us all wrapped up."

I sighed, I didn't have the strength to argue with him… instead I held his one hand with my two and listened to Sam and Dad argue in the front seat.

"Look, just hold on, alright. The hospital's only ten minutes away." Sam said to someone… who I'm not really sure at the moment.

"I'm surprised at you, Sammy. Why didn't you kill it? I thought we saw eye-to-eye on this? Killing this demon comes first – before me, before everything."

Sam looked back in the mirror and looked at Dean and then at me.

"No, sir. Not before everything. Look, we've still got the Colt. We still have the one bullet left. We just have to start over, alright? I mean, we already found the demo-"

There was a hard smack next to Dean, then everything faded to black.


	22. Chapter 22

Author's note: Please read and review! Reviews mean the world to me! Thanks yall

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Dad! Dad.." I could hear Sam's voice, but my vision was nothing but dark blurs.

"Dean.. Em… Please… someone answer me!" He yelled. I tried my hardest but I was struggling to make a sound.

"smm…" Was the most I could make out, but apparently it was enough.

I heard shuffling in the car and then there were hands around my face.

"Em.. kiddo come on wake up.. wake up!" Sam was slapping my face lightly, it was annoying as hell.

"Ssstop." I managed to moan out, my vision becoming lighter by the second.

"Emily baby its gonna be okay… we're gonnna be okay." I could hear Sam's voice cracking.

I was trying to open my eyes and focus but it was taking some time for my vision to clear.

"De. Dean…" I mumbled squeezing the hand I still had a grasp on, he didn't squeeze it back.

"Sammy, sammy get De…" I started to cry.

"Em.. its okay… we're gonna be okay.." Sam said frantically.

"S'mmmmy" I moaned as my vision started to fade again.

"Hey! Em! Stay with me kiddo! Come on stay with me!" Sams voice was farther and farther away from me with every word, I felt someone shaking me but then everything was black again.

There was this loud noise, like. Mechanical almost? It was loud and it was above me. It must have been daylight because I felt like I was being blinded… Someone was moving me?

"Tell me if they're okay!" I heard Sam yell.

"Sir please be still!" A woman yelled back. What the hell.

"At least tell me if they're alive! Please!" Sam pleaded.

"Sammy.." I mumbled, but got no response.

"Saaaaaam." I tried again, this time there was a reply but not from a voice I recognize.

"Its gonna be okay hunny. We got you now. We're gonna let you sleep now okay?" The strange man said.

"Noo.. No Sammy… Dean.." I tried, but I felt a warm rush in my arm and my eyes got very heavy very fast. It was black again.

*Beep*

*Beep*

*Beep*

*Beep*

What in the fuck is that damn beeping… its like an alarm clock with no snooze button or something.

I'm laying in… in a bed? Its kinda stiff, but I've had worse. I went to sit up, but the pain across my stomach stopped me.

"Ah.." I let out a quick hiss from the pain and felt a hand grab mine, it made me jump.

"Whoa whoa… its okay."

"Sammy?" I said my vision focusing on the tall figure standing over me.

"Yeah kiddo.. I'm here. I'm so glad you're awake." He said leaning down and kissing my forehead.

"Sammy whats going on? Where are we?"

He looked down and bit his bottom lip as if debating what to tell me.

"Sam.." I prodded.

"There was a car accident when we left the cabin… you lost a lot of blood, they took you in for surgery. You're in a recovery room right now. They're gonna move you to a more permanent one in a few hours."

It was then I realized I'm in a hospital… the beeping were the monitors I was hooked up to. There were wires and tubes everywhere. I looked up to Sam. His face was cut up and hand bandages on one of his arms.

"Sammy are you okay?! Where are Dean and Daddy?!" I asked frantically trying to sit up again, but the pain in my abdomen was sharp.

"Emily stop… just relax." He said. I could hear the beeping on the monitor get faster as I looked around the room trying to find any sign of Dean or Daddy.

"Where are they Sammy? Please!"

"Its okay Em… it's gonna be okay." Was all he could say as he rubbed his hand over my forehead stroking the hair away from my face.

"No.. No. I gotta get em. Dean, he was bleeding Sammy we gotta go!" I said frantically pulling at the wires connected to me.

"Emily stop! Stop!" Sam said trying to hold my hands down, but I struggled against him.

"No! Let me go! Sam!" I cried out loudly as the beeping increased. Suddenly people in scrubs came into the room carrying a syringe.

"No please Sam… please Sammy we gotta go get Dean!" I cried as they held me down to access my IV port, pushing the medication in.

"Please Sammy… please… don't." I mumbled as the drugs kicked in.

"I'm sorry Em.. I'm so sorry." He said weakly as I once again faded to sleep.

When I woke up again this time there was no more beeping. There was light coming in through a window, this room was bigger. I looked over and Sam was sitting next to me absent mindedly staring out the window.

"Sam.." I groaned, my throat was dry and it caused me to cough.

"Here ya go kiddo." He said as he handed me some ice water. It was cold, so cold you could feel it go all the way down into your stomach.

"Sammy where are they?" I asked.

"Dad's fine… he's in a room a couple of doors down."

"What about Dean?" I whispered.

Sam didn't answer. Insteaad he grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb across my knuckles, watching me with a look of pity.

"Sam.. you're scaring me… Where is Dean?!" I asked again tears building up behind my eyelids.

"Kiddo Dean's bad." My heart sank.

"But he's alive?!" I asked frantically.

"Yeah. He's downstairs in ICU."

"I wanna go see him." I said shortly.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now Em."

"Sam. Take me to see him… or I swear I'll rip this shit out of my arm and walk down there myself." I said sternly. He sighed, knowing that I honestly would. Nothing stops me from getting to my brothers. Nothing.

"Okay… let me go get a wheelchair at least."

"No. Please. I'll just walk. Just… help me push this damn pole."

"Emily you don't even know if you can walk." He said frustrated.

"Sam I didn't break my damn legs. I got cut, I can still walk." I said back, determined. I started to pull the covers off and tried to sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed. It hurt, but It wasn't going to stop me from going.

"Okay okay… just, let me help you. Please." Sam said going to stand in front of me so that I could have something to support myself against when I stand.

"You wanna really help? Find me a robe so I don't show my ass to the whole hospital." I said noticing this gown is pretty much open in the back.

He chuckled, "Okay. Just. Wait for me before you try to stand promise?"

"Yes Sam." I said rolling my eyes.

He came back with an ugly blue robe and swung it over my shoulders to cover me when I stand.

"Okay, you ready?" He said positioning himself in front of me to support my weight if needed.

"Yeah.." I scooted forward on the bed until my toes touched the ground, then I grabbed onto Sam and slowly lifted myself up, I winced in pain and Sam pulled a little to help me up, it took a second but I was finally standing on two feet.

I was dizzy, but wasn't going to tell that to Sam. I felt weak. I hated feeling weak, defenseless, powerless. I couldn't even walk on my own at the moment.

"You okay Em?" Sam asked concerned as I stood there not moving or talking, trying to deep breathe and clear the fogginess in my head.

"Yeah. I'm okay… lets go."

Sam walked me to the elevator and we went down 2 floors before getting off again. We walked down the hall and then stopped at the 3rd room on the left. Sam went to keep going and I froze, he lightly tugged my arm, but then realized I wasn't moving. So he stopped and looked down at me.

"Kiddo? You sure you wanna do this."

I just stared at the doorway in front of us. Afraid of what I'd see once I stepped into it. Is this a bad idea? Can I handle this? How bad is bad… My memory is foggy, but I do remember everything up to the accident. I remember Dean was bleeding- bad. I'm not sure what to expect now… The truck slammed us on his side of the car, we were leaned against it. Him against the window and me against him.

I took a deep breath.

"I have to Sammy." I said quietly.

"Okay… well you don't have to do it alone." He had one arm under one of mine for support, but he took his hand and interlocked his fingers in mine, making sure I knew I wasn't alone right now. I love that about Sam. He's always been the one who shows empathy, although this time he really did know how I felt. It was his brother in that room too.

I walked forward and rounded the doorway, the gasp I made was much louder then I intended it to be. I threw a hand over my mouth. Dean. My Dean. He was covered in cuts and bruises, black and blue on his face. He had bandages wrapped around his head and a tube shoved down his throat to help him breathe. He was bad… I could hear the machine in the room pumping air in and out of his lungs.

"De…" I whispered outloud.

I walked forward, clutching a hand on Sam. When we got to his bedside Sam pulled a chair around for me to sit in, he stood above me with a hand on my back.

"Your father is awake." A voice from behind us called out, we both turned to see the doctor.

"You can go see him now if you'd like, and you," he looked to me, "I went to check on you but I see you're feeling better today."

"What about my brother?" I asked.

"Well, he sustained serious injury: blood loss, contusions to his liver and kidney. But it's the head trauma I'm worried about. There's early signs of cerebral edema."

"Well, what can we do?" Sam asked.

"Well, we won't know his full condition until he wakes up. If he wakes up. " If…. What does he mean if?

"IF?!" I choked out.

As I looked at the doctor his mouth moved, I could vaguely hear his and Sam's voices, but all I could focus on was "IF"… there is no if. He's going to wake up… he has to. I need to get out of here. Find a way to help him. I can't do anything from a hospital bed.

"When can I be released?" I suddenly interjected.

"I'm sorry?" Doc asked.

"I said when can I go… I'm better. I got up and walked up here. So can I go?"

"Emily you lost a lot of blood, we had to transfuse 3 units. Your body is weak. I'm not sur-"

"Doc look. You and I both know I'm not gonna sit my ass in that bed all day. I'm not going anywhere while Deans here. If there's any problem you'll be the first to know."

He shook his head at me and gave a small smile, it was obvious my stubbornness would prevail.

"I'll make you a deal. You hold down a meal and let me run some bloodwork and if everything's okay I'll release you in a few hours."

"Deal." I quickly said.

"Thanks Doc." Sam said as he walked out.

Sam took me back to my room where I ate the nasty ass food on the tray and let the nurse take some blood, then we went to go see Dad. I was starting to be able to walk on my own a little, but I was slow, poor Sam kept having to stop and wait for me.

We walked into Dad's room and he was laying in bed, he turned to us and smiled as we walked in the door.

"Daddy!" I said hobbling over to him. He scooted over and made room for me to sit on the side of his bed. When I sat down he wrapped his arms around me and I felt the tears slide down my cheeks.

"Its okay babygirl… its gonna be okay." He cooed into my ear. Being in his arms, it was comforting. There's nothing like a hug from your daddy. We broke free a few minutes later and he reached up and wiped my eye as another tear began to fall.

"Don't cry babygirl. We're gonna fix this." He said. I nodded my head but didn't speak.

He pulled his wallet out and dug in it handing something to Sam as he sat down in a chair on the other side of the bed.

"Here. Give them my insurance."

"Elroy McGillicutty?" Sam asked with a half smile.

"And his three loving children. So, what else did the doctor say about Dean?"

I put my head down and fiddled with my hands. I couldn't repeat it even if I wanted to.

"Nothing. Look. The doctors won't do anything, then we'll have to, that's all. I don't know, I'll find some hoodoo priest and lay some mojo on him." Sam said.

"We'll look for someone." Dad said.

"Yeah." I said.

"But listen, I don't know if we're gonna find anyone." Dad said cautiously. What? This is your son we're talking about! Have some fucking determination.

"Why not? I found that faith healer before." Sam argued as I looked at Dad in bewilderment.

"All right, that was, that was one in a million."

"So what? Do we just sit here with our thumbs up our ass?" I asked sharply.

"No, and watch you language young lady! I said we'd look. All right? I'll check under every stone… Where's the colt?" Are you shitting me right now?!

"Your son is dying, and you're worried about the Colt?" I asked sliding off the bed and crossing my arms across my chest. I could see Sam getting tense as well.

"We're hunting this demon, and maybe it's hunting us too. That gun may be our only card."

"It's in the trunk. They dragged the car to a yard off of I-83." Sam said.

"All right. You've gotta clean out that trunk before some junk man sees what's inside."

"I already called Bobby. He's like an hour out, he's gonna tow the Impala back to his place."

"All right. You, you go meet up with Bobby. you get that Colt, and you bring it back to me. And you watch out for hospital security."

"I think I've got it covered."

"I'm coming with you Sammy."

"Em are you sure you can?" Dad asked.

"They're supposed to release me in like an hour. I'll be fine. Promise."

"Here. I made a list of things I need, have Bobby pick them up for me." He said handing it to me.

"Acacia? Oil of Abramelin? What's this stuff for?" I asked him.

"Protection." I nodded and went to stand by Sam.

"Hey, Dad? You know, the demon, he said he had plans for me, and children like me. Said Emily was a back up… Do you have any idea what he meant by that?" Sam asked. I'm glad he did. I almost forgot about all that with Dean dying again and all. Unlike some people in my family my priorities are set with my family on the top. Everything else comes second.

"No, I don't." Dad said quickly. He's lying, but Sam didn't seem to notice.

Sam and I bugged the nurse for release papers so that I could go with him to meet bobby, it took forever but we finally met Bobby at a salvage yard not far from the hospital.

"Oh man, Dean is gonna be pissed." Sam said as we stood in front of the impala. Poor Baby. She looked like a crumpled piece of paper. It was bad… really really bad.

"Look yall. This... this just ain't worth a tow. I say we empty the trunk, sell the rest for scrap." Bobby recommended.

"No. Dean would kill us if we did that. When he gets better he's gonna want to fix this." I said determined.

"There's nothing to fix darlin. The frame's a pretzel, and the engine's ruined. There's barely any parts worth salvaging."

"Listen to me, Bobby. If there's only one working part, that's enough. We're not just going to give up on..." I said but my voice started to crack and I couldn't finish it. Bobby put a hand on my shoulder and I hugged him.

"Okay. You got it darlin."

"Here, uh, Dad asked for you to get this stuff for him." Sam said handing him the list.

"What's John want with this?" Bobby asked confused.

"Protection from the demon?" I guessed. But Bobby gave me an odd look.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing, it's just, uh –"

"Bobby? What's going on?" Sam asked.

"Its just that… this isn't used for protection from a demon. Its ingredients to summon one." He said cautiously.

Sorry mother fucker. DEAN IS DYING! All my father can think about is a face to face with this fuck shit of a demon while his son, my brother, is dying. The blood in my veins is boiling. I can feel my hands shaking and my fingers twitching. I balled them into fists.

"Son of a bitch… get it anyways Bobby." I said stalking off.

Oh I can't wait to see this shit hit the fan.

"Did you think I wouldn't find out?" I snapped as soon as we walked back into dad's room. He looked at me surprised.

"What are you talking about?"

"That stuff from Bobby, you don't use it to ward off a demon, you use it to summon one. You're planning on bringing the demon here, aren't you? Having some stupid macho showdown?!" I said throwing the bag at him, he caught it before it hit his face."

"Emily stop it!" He yelled.

"No dad she's right… what the hell is wrong with you!" Sam said defending me.

"I have a plan, Sam."

"That's exactly my point! Dean is dying, and you have a fucking plan! You know what, you care more about killing this demon than you do saving your own son!" I yelled.

"Do not tell me how I feel! I am doing this for Dean." He yelled back at me.

"How? How is revenge going to help him? You're not thinking about anybody but yourself, it's the same selfish obsession!" Sam argued.

"You know, it's funny, I thought it was your obsession too! This demon killed your mother, killed your girlfriend. You begged me to be part of this hunt. Now if you'd killed that damn thing when you had the chance, none of this would have happened."

"It was possessing you, Dad, I would have killed you too."

"Yeah, and your brother would be awake right now!" He guilt tripped Sam and I had fucking enough.

"Go to hell!" I yelled before storming out of the room into the hallway. I stalked off and punched the nearest wall to me.

Suddenly a swarm of people were running past me, towards where Dean is. They had moved him up on dad's floor so we could all be closer together. I ran to catch up with them when I saw Sam coming out of dad's room to investigate.

When we got to Dean's room people were all around him. I could barely see his body. They were doing CPR and shocking him.

"All clear." The doc called before they shocked him and his body arched up and then back down. It was sickening to watch. I had to hold my stomach.

"Oh god.. no De… please don't do this…" I mumbled as I felt Sam wrap an arm around me, pulling me close against him in the doorway. I looked up and noticed the tears pooling in his eyes as well as mine.

"No." He muttered to himself.

"Still no pulse." A nurse called out.

"Okay, let's go again, 360." The doc called out.

"Please Dean… please just hang on.." I cried watching them shock him again.

Then I heard it… I heard him. I heard Dean. I looked around, but I saw nothing. But I know I heard Dean's voice. Telling something to get back. I looked to Sam, he seemed to notice something too.

"We have a pulse. We're back into sinus rhythm." A nurse called.

I breathed a sigh of relief and turned and buried my face in Sam's chest, trying to pull myself back together. He squeezed me tight and watched as they slowly filed out of Dean's room one at a time.

"Did you hear it too?" He asked me.

"Yeah… It was Dean."

"Okay… Lets go talk to Dad. He'll know what to do."

"You go. I wanna stay for a while."

"You sure kiddo?"

"Yeah. I don't want him to be alone."

"Okay. Sit tight… I'll be back in a little while." He kissed my head before walking away.

I walked up to Dean's bed and pulled a chair as close as I possibly could to it. I sat down and laid my head next to wear I grabbed his hand in mine.

(DEAN'S POV)

Its after me. I think it's a reaper. Now that I know what it is I just have to find a way to kill it. I stood there thinking about my next move as all of the nurses slowly filed out of my room. I looked to where Sam and Emily stood in the doorway. It kills me to see them like this, they both had tears in their eyes. Sam went to talk to Dad and Emily came to sit down by my bed… my poor Em. I know she was hurt pretty bad. I watched that… that bastard. What he did to her. Just like he did to Mom… I was so afraid to lose her. I've never been so scared in my entire life then I was that night looking at her on the ceiling, bleeding. I though that was it. I failed, I was losing her… I would never have forgiven myself.

Emily's voice took me out of my train of thought.

"You were supposed to say it back De…" her voice cracking the entire time.

"I'm sorry kiddo…" I responded even though I was sure she couldn't hear me. I sat down in the chair on the other side of the bed and watched as she cried. I hated that there was nothing I could do. I couldn't hold her. I couldn't tell her it was all going to be okay.

"I don't know if you can hear me or not… but I need you to wake up De. I can't-" She had to stop and collect herself for a moment.

"I can't do this without you. I don't know how to live without you…" She laid her head down and sobbed into the mattress.

"Emily… baby I'm not going anywhere. I promised. I promised I'd never leave you again… and I meant it kiddo." I reached up and tried to run my hand through her hair, but she couldn't feel me. She was breaking my heart more and more as I watched her body wrack with sobs.

I wanted so badly to take her in my arms and cradle her like when she was little. Even though I was just a kid she was always my baby. I rocked her to sleep every night. She crawled in my bed when she had nightmares. She held my hand everywhere we went. She always wanted to show me something new she'd learned. The older she got the closer she got to Sam. He was half girl anyways, so he was better with all the touchy feely crap. It bothered me back then, but when he left I begged that he'd come back and she'd have him to rely on again. It hurt her to lose him more than it did me. Eventually she came back to me… I was thankful. That girl. She saves me every day. Saves me from giving in. This life… it gets to you no matter how hard you try and ignore it.

"Hey jude…" she mumbled out between hiccups.

"Don't make it bad."

"Take a sad song… and make it better."

"Remember.." her voice was shaky. "To let her into your heart."

"And you can start… to make it better."

She sat like that for a while and hummed the rest of the song between hiccups and sniffles until she finally calmed down. I stayed with her until I saw Sam come back in.

(EMILY'S POV)

"Hey kiddo… how you holding up?" Sam said walking over to me. Instead of answer him with a shaky voice I just stood up and wrapped my arms around his waist. He hugged me back.

"Yeah… me too kiddo." He said.

"What'd you bring?" I asked noticing the paper bag in his hand.

"Umm.. don't laugh." He said. I raised an eyebrow.

He pulled out a ouija board.

"I think Dean's around… and I think maybe we can talk to him with this."

"Okay. Lets do it."

Sam and I sat cross legged on the floor in Dean's room, door locked of course.

"Dean? Dean, are you here?" Sam asked as we sat with our hands on the pointer. It was still for a second and I almost gave up, but then it moved. It moved all the way to the spot where "yes" was carved into the board.

"Dean!" I said excited.

"It's good to hear from you, man. It hasn't been the same without you, Dean." Sam says.

The pointer moves again.

"Dean, what? H? U? Hunt? Hunting? What, are you hunting?" Sam asked. It moved back to yes.

"It's in the hospital, what you're hunting? Do, do you know what it is?" I asked.

The pointer went to R,E,A,P…

"A reaper. Dean. Is it after you?" Sam asked. It slid to Yes again… No. That's not good.

"If it's here naturally, there's no way to stop it." I mumbled scared.

"Man, you're, um.." Sam tried to say.

"NO." I said standing up.

"There's gotta be a way. Dad'll know what to do. Sam go talk to him…"

"Em we can both go."

"No… I. I can't right now Sammy. Just. Go talk to dad. I told you I don't want to leave Dean alone."

"Emily I know you're mad but we need to talk to him, kiddo you need to talk to him."

"Sam… not right now. I'm focused on Dean. Dad can wait."

Sam just shook his head, understanding that I'm more stubborn than he is and I'm not giving in.

I sat with Dean for another 30 minutes or so before Sam came back.

"Hey. So Dad wasn't in his room."

"Where is he?" I asked.

"I don't know… But I got Dad's journal, so who knows? Maybe there's something here. Lets go downstairs… you need to eat something."

"I'm not hungry. I wanna stay here."

"Emily. You're recovering from surgery. You have to eat. Or I'll have you readmitted." Sam said firmly.

I rolled my eyes and followed him downstairs. After a few hours of finding nothing I felt so discouraged. I'm so scared of losing him… losing my Dean. My rock… My whole life Dean has been there. I've never had to live without him. He's always come through for me, he's always taken care of me. I don't know how to function without him. I have to save him.

"Sammy I'm going to go back and sit with Dean."

"Okay kiddo… I'm gonna go get in a shower, want me to bring you some fresh clothes?"

"Yeah sure… I'll just shower up here."

"Okay. Stay with Dean till I get back."

"I wouldn't go anywhere else…" I mumbled. Unlike our father apparently.

Dean's room was quiet, it was dark. I feel like my world is hanging upside down. Nothing is like it should be. Dad's off doing his own thing. Dean is dying. Sam is taking lead. I'm sitting around crying.

"Dean… you gotta hold on. You gotta fight this thing. We beat a reaper once. We can do it again… you can do it again." I mumbled to him.

I sat down beside him and laid my head down slowly drifting off to sleep.

Suddenly Dean flew up choking on the tube down his throat.

"Dean! Dean!"

"HELP! Somebody help!"

They kicked me out of his room, well dragged me out really. I refused to leave, so they called security. I immediately called Sam. He flew back and we sat all night in a waiting room, halfway through the night Dad showed back up. By the time daylight broke they finally allowed us back in his room. Sam went in first to make sure everything was okay. Dean didn't remember anything about the reaper. He said he couldn't remember anything after the accident. Sam filled in the blanks. Then he came and got me.

I literally ran, well sort of. I was still in pain so I was slower than usual, I turned the corner and grabbed the doorway for support.

"De!" I breathed with a smile.

"Em.." He smiled back.

I quickly crossed the room and launched myself into his arms despite the protest from my still sore body. I had several stitches across my stomach, but they were holding well and slowly healing. Dean held me close and I wrapped my arms around his neck so tight I had to remind myself to let up so he could breathe. Sam stood in the doorway and just watched us. A smile on his face.

"How bad are you kiddo?" he asked as he pulled me away so he could examine me.

"I'm okay De. Really. Just a couple of stitches." I said not looking him in the eye.

"Oh yeah? What exactly is a couple…" he asked me suspiciously.

"Dean. Can't be just be happy we're all alive and move on."

"No. Show me. Now." He stared at me expectantly. I didn't wanna show him. I haven't showed Sam or Dad… I can hardly stand to look at it in the mirror. Its going to leave a giant scar… its going to be ugly. I'll never be able to wear a bikini. I'll never be able to wear crop tops. This will thrill Dean I'm sure. But it makes me feel so… ugly.

"Dean you don't want to see it…" You'll just blame yourself for it. Seeing it will make it worse on you.

"Has Sam seen it?" he asked accusingly.

"No… I haven't. But I probably should since we're going to have to take care of it when we leave." Sam said answering Dean's question before I could.

I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"Kiddo… come on. Its just us. We need to know how bad it is." Dean said quietly squeezing my shoulders.

"…Okay." I mumbled unwillingly. Sam moved to stand next to us so he could see them too.

I stood up and raised my shirt up just above my belly button, there was a bandaged taped over the stitches to keep them clean. I slowly peeled the tape away revealing the large cut with about 20-25 stitches in it. They were healing well, but it was still a fresh injury… it still looked pretty bad.

At first I couldn't look either of them in the eye, but I took a deep breath and looked up to Dean. He looked at me like I just ripped his heart out.

"…I told you that you didn't wanna see it." I said readjusting my shirt and sitting back down on Dean's bed.

He reached out and used one large hand to cup my face, rubbing his thumb on my cheek.

"Emily I am so sorry… I. I should've kno-"

"Dean stop it! Its not your fault… its not Sams or Dads. Just… don't blame this on you. Please."

He looked at me for a long minute and kissed the top of my head.

"I love you too…" He whispered in my ear.

"Don't make me cry again…" I whispered back with a small grin.

"Okay kiddo… So where's dad?"

"I don't know… I haven't really talked to him the last couple of days." I said honestly. I had been avoiding dad since our fight. I was so focused on Dean that I didn't want to waste more time fighting with Dad. I was so angry with him.

"What about you Sammy?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah. He's good, but he went MIA last night, he came in this morning and we told him you were awake. He said he'd come by in a little while. Should be here anytime now."

"Good… maybe we can get back on the road then." Dean said.

I was fixing to explain the condition of Dean's beloved impala to him but a voice interrupted me.

"How you feeling, dude?" Dad came in and asked with a big smile.

"Fine, I guess. I'm alive."

"That's what matters."

"So where were you last night?" I asked annoyed.

"Emily don't…" Dean said quietly.

"I had some things to take care of…"

"Well, that's specific." I scoffed.

"Emily stop it." Dean told me. I looked at him then back to Dad.

"I'm going to get a drink…" I said walking out into the hallway.

I had just gotten a few steps away from the door when I stopped.

"Emily wait… please babygirl. Just listen to me." Dad called after me.

I turned to face him and crossed my arms over my chest. He walked forward.

"Emily I'm so sorry… for everything. I love you babygirl. I love you so much. You… you're just like your mother you know. You get angry like me… you fight like me. But you love like your mother did. You brighten a room by just walking into it. You keep me in line, you push those two brothers of yours around, keep em on their toes. You sing… like an angel. Like her. You're a Winchester tried and true but don't forget to let that part of her shine too…" he had tears in his eyes.

"Daddy… what's going on…" I asked cautiously. Something's wrong. Way wrong… I can feel it. He wouldn't answer me, he just looked into my eyes and let a tear fall down his cheek.

"Does this have to do with what the demon told us? I know you were lying when Sam asked…"

"Emily… please believe me. I've done everything I could to protect you… you three. You need to look after each other. Be careful. I… I pray everyday it never comes down to you."

I looked at my father, falling apart in front of me. I was scared… I've never seen him like this.

"Daddy what are you talking about?" I asked quietly.

Instead of answer me he wrapped his long arms around me, crushing me against him. I returned it and wrapped my arms around his waist, burying my face in his chest. I breathed in his scent… whiskey and cologne. I could feel the tears building.

"Daddy you're scaring me.." I whispered.

"Don't be scared baby. Never be afraid. You can conquer anything this world throws at you… anything. Don't you ever forget that."

"What's wrong? Daddy please talk to me…" I started to cry into his chest.

"Shhh.. shh. I promise you. Its going to be okay. You're tough as nails kiddo. You're going to be okay." He said pulling us apart and getting down so that we are face to face. He wiped away the tears rolling down my cheeks.

"I love you Emily Anne. I love you so much." He said kissing my cheek.

"I love you too Daddy…" I said scared and confused.

"Go get a water and bring me a coffee will you? I need to talk to your brothers for a minute."

"Okay Daddy." He kissed my cheek once more and then turned and walked away. I walked towards the end of the hall where the coffee machine was. It was out, so I made a fresh pot, about 5 minutes later Sam rounded the corner.

"Hey… is that for Dad?" He asked as I poured the hot coffee into a cup.

"Yeah, want some?"

"No… dad sent me to get him one."

"Wait… dad sent me to get him one?" I replied confused.

"Huh.." Sam pondered.

"Sammy somethings wrong…." I said trembling.

"Yeah. Okay come on lets go find out what the hell is going on." He said taking the coffee cup out of my hand and leading us back towards Dean's room. We were walking down the hall when I glanced to the right into Dad's room. I expected it to be empty, but when I saw him laying on the floor I stopped dead in my tracks. Sam turned and saw him, he dropped the coffee and we both dove into the floor.

"Daddy! Daddy please! Daddy wake up!" I cried shaking him.

"Help! Help!" Sam screamed, a team of nurses ran in and lifted him off the floor and onto the bed to start CPR.

"Sammy go get Dean!" I cried, he ran to Deans room and moments later they were both standing beside me in the door frame, a nurse came to tell us we had to leave.

"No! Its our dad! Its our dad!" Dean yelled at her, she took the hint.

We watched as they repeatedly shocked him. I gripped the arm wrapped around my shoulders and didn't even try to stop the tears that were flowing freely at this point.

"Okay everyone stop… do we have a pulse?" The doctor asked.

"No sir." Replied a nurse.

"Okay… I'm calling it. Time of death 10:41 am.

No… no no no no… no not my daddy please no!

I broke free of Dean's grasp and pushed my way to his bedside.

"NO! No don't stop! Don't stop please! Please do something! DO SOMETHING!" I yelled to the people just standing there… doing nothing to save him.

I quickly started shaking him again, "Daddy… Daddy wake up! Wake up! Please wake up!" I cried and screamed.

I climbed into the bed and laid next to him… next to his body. I put my ear right over his chest where his heart is supposed to be beating, but it was silent…

"Daddy wake up….. Please." I whispered in his ear, trying to control the sobs.

I laid my head back on his chest and cried harder than I ever have in my entire life… A nurse came over and went to remove the wires connected to him.

"Don't touch him!" I yelled to her. She jumped slightly.

"Maam.. I'm sorry I have t-"

"NO! Go away…. Just go away!" I screamed crying into his bare chest again.

"Daddy I'm so sorry… I'm sorry Daddy. Please wake up!" I begged.

I laid there and cried for what felt like hours, but also only minutes. Time was hard to define when your world felt like it stopped turning. At this point the sobbing had stopped but the tears were a steady flow.

Dean and Sam had sat there in the room… not talking. Sam cried and Dean just stared at his face… his eyes were closed.

"Excuse me… but we need to move him…" the nurse said as she placed a hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Yeah… yeah okay." He said sniffling. He went to stand up and walk over to me.

"Emily baby… we gotta go." He said to me his voice cracking.

I refused to move. I refused to acknowledge him.

"Kiddo please.." he said reaching out to grab my hand, I flung it away from him.

"Dean…" Sam said sniffling again.

I watched out the corner of my eye as Dean slowly stood up and walked over to daddy and me.

"Emily… get up." He said quietly. I just shook my head in response.

"Emily please don't make me do this…" he whispered.

I can't… I can't get up. I can't let them take him. He has to wake up…

I shook my head again as the sobs came back.

"Don't… don't take him away… please don't take my daddy." I cried.

I felt one arm slip under my torso and another behind my knees.

"No.. Dean please.." I cried as I gripped onto his body.

"Babygirl you gotta let him go…" Dean said to me his voice beginning to break.

It was only seconds before he broke my grasps, I had no strength to fight against Dean.

"Noo.. please De!" I cried harder.

He began walking me away from daddy. He sat us down in a chair across the room and wrapped his arms around me tightly so I couldn't break free despite my constant struggles. I sobbed into his neck while he rocked us back and forth.

"We gotta let him go baby…. We gotta let go." He whispered into my ear as he too started to sniffle. Sam came and sat beside us as we watched them cover his body and roll him out of the room.

"Sam… go call Bobby."


	23. Chapter 23

Author's note: Please read follow and review! You guys are the motivation to keep going!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily. Also there may be parts in this chapter that are pushing the limits of Mature Content but I tried to keep things still pretty clean.

It took two hours… two hours for Bobby Sam and Dean to assemble the burn pile. Then they carefully wrapped him up in cloth. I opted not to watch that part.

"Em… it's time." Sam said as he walked over to the porch swing, where I've sat pretty much all day.

"Okay…" I whispered getting up and walking with Sam to meet Bobby and Dean at the back of Bobby's salvage yard.

Dean and Sam lifted Daddy and slowly placed him on top of the sticks. Dean was the one to light them… Bobby left us to watch alone. Knowing it was a family thing. I stood between my two brothers and watched my daddy's body burn. I glanced between Dean and Sam. Sam was crying… Dean's eyes were glossy and if you paid close attention you could see a tear or two fall before he was able to catch them.

I tried. I tried to force it. I tried to let them come naturally… but I couldn't. I couldn't cry. I haven't cried a single tear since the hospital a couple of days ago. After I finished sobbing… the pain slowly went numb. I haven't felt anything since. No pain. No anger. No emotion whatsoever. I feel like a part of me inside has died too.

Sam being Sam reached over and wrapped an arm around me. For his sake I wrapped one around his waist and squeezed. Just because I was an emotionless bitch doesn't mean that I can't be there for Sam.

Dean and I have barely spoken to each other… Sam and I haven't really talked much either. Bobby has been keeping his distance giving us each a chance to mourn in our own way.

I wish I could mourn… I wish I could feel the pain. Accept it. Get past it. But instead I feel nothing… I feel empty.

"Did he say anything to you…. Before he.." Sam asked Dean.

"…Nothing." Dean slowly replied, staring at the flames much like I did.

I stood there for about an hour before I decided I'd had enough… I walked back into Bobby's and made a beeline for my bedroom. Thankfully Bobby still had it set up for me.

"Darlin… why don't you eat something?" Bobby said catching me before I jotted up the stairs.

"I'm not hungry." I simply said before disappearing.

 **THREE WEEKS LATER**

"Bobby I don't know what to do… she won't do anything! I don't know whether to push harder, back off, or what…" I could hear Sam discussing me with Bobby.

"I don't know son… I've never seen her like this." Bobby agreed.

"She's going to sit up there and rot if we don't figure something out… she's not eating. She's not talking to anyone… hell I don't even think she's sleeping." Sam said frustrated.

I am actually. I mean. If you can count 2-3 hours a night sleeping. Then sure. I'm sleeping. And I eat… well. Some days.

I don't ignore Sam. I just don't initiate or carry on meaningless conversations. He acts like I've gone mute but I'll speak when spoken too… I just don't have much to say.

"Sam I think you and I both know what she needs…"

"But he won't even go near her. He avoids her."

Yeah. He does… Dean. Dean who used to push me to always talk to him. Dean who was always kept me within eyesight. My Dean.

Well My Dean wants nothing to do with me. I don't know why. I don't know what I did wrong. But I can't even be hurt over it… I can't cry over it either. Trust me I've tried.

Its like there's some mental block on the emotions section of my brain.

I've tried everything to knock it down. Think of the saddest movie you've ever seen… I've watched it. Nothing.

I replayed daddy dying in my head… nothing.

The only thing I feel now is fear. I guess I forgot to mention that the reason I don't sleep is because of the nightmares. Every single night. I wake up and every night I think I might finally break the levee and get some relief. But no. Every night it's the same thing… I wake up scared. My heart racing, my body covered in sweat. Tears building behind my eyelids. But as soon as I realize I'm awake it all disappears.

I hate them but I almost welcome them because for those few minutes I can feel something… anything.

Dean's working on the impala day in and day out… he gets up. Goes outside and doesn't come back until nightfall again. He'll make runs for parts and whiskey but other than that he doesn't leave Bobby's. Sam and Bobby have been trying to pick up a trail… anything. Me? I've been sitting in the room staring out the window watching Dean work for a week now.

"Hey Em." Sam said knocking on the door and cracking it open.

"Yeah come in." I said quietly without looking away from the window.

"I'm getting ready to go down and talk to him… wanna come?"

"No. He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Kiddo that's not true. He's just- having a hard time."

"Sam if I wanted to talk to Dean I would. I know where he is. Thanks anyways."

"Okay… well why don't you come with me to grab some food. I need to run into town anyways."

"No thanks not hungry."

"Emily. When was the last time you ate something."

"Sam just drop it." I sighed.

"No. I'm not! Emily get up! Go do something! Quit staring out the window and waiting for things to be different! Cause they're not going to be! Dad's gone and it sucks ass… get up and do something about it!" He yelled at me getting closer and closer as he spoke.

I sighed deeply… I know what he's trying to do. He's trying to piss me off. He's trying to get me to react. But if he only knew… I wanna scream at him. I wanna get angry. I wanna punch something. But… I just. Can't feel angry. I guess I could stop being so selfish though… I'm causing Sam to worry. He's got enough going on. So I guess you fake it till you make it.

"Okay Sam. Let me take a shower." I said getting out of the windowsill and getting clothes out of my bag.

"…Um.. Okay." He said confused.

I showered and even put on a little make up, that way Sam doesn't look like he's walking with a zombie when we go out. I walked down the stairs and Bobby seemed as shocked as Sam was to see me dressed and leaving the room.

"Okay lets go." I said walking out the door.

"I need to talk to Dean first… we'll walk past him to get to the car anyways." Sam said. Dammit… he knew what he was doing.

I stood there and crossed my arms. "Whatever Sam."

He walked out the door and I followed him all the way to where Dean's legs were sticking out from under the impala.

"How's the car coming along?" Sam asked as we approached.

"Slow."

"Yeah? Need any help?" Not like Sam could help. He's useless under a hood.

"What, you under a hood? I'll pass."

"Well Em can help." He said pushing me forward.

"….Yeah." I mumbled, I could hear Dean stop tinkering for a second.

"I'm good." Was all he said.

"Need anything else, then?" Sam asked him. Dean pushed himself out from the car and stood up, not looking in our direction but instead focusing on the tools in front of him.

"Stop it, Sam." He said shortly.

"Stop what?"

"Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm okay. I'm okay. Really. I promise."

"All right, Dean, it's just... We've been at Bobby's for a few weeks now and you haven't brought up Dad once."

I looked down at my feet… I knew what was coming next. A fight.

"You know what? You're right. Come here. I'm gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance."

"Don't patronize me, Dean, Dad is dead. The Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all of this, and you're acting like nothing happened. You both are! Aren't you sick of just sitting around here!"

"What do you want me to say?" Dean replied.

"Say something, all right? Hell, say anything! Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car."

Then he turned to me.

"And all you do is sit in the damn window and watch him! I mean for christsakes you two won't even look at each other!"

Again….. nothing. I feel nothing. So instead of arguing I leaned against the junk yard car beside me and stared at my feet waiting for it to end.

"Revenge, huh?" Dean asked looking only to Sam.

"Yeah."

"Sounds good. You got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? Because I sure ain't. But you know, if we do finally find it - oh. No, wait, like you said. The Colt's gone. But I'm sure you've figured out another way to kill it. We've got nothing, Sam. Nothing, okay? So you know the only thing I can do? Is I can work on the car."

"What about her Dean?! You gonna stand there and tell me that you don't have anything to do with this?!" Sam gestured to me. But I just walked away. I'm so over this fight.

I walked slowly so I could still hear what Dean's response was going to be, I was curious.

"Sam she just needs some space. Leave her alone."

"I think you've left her alone enough for the both of us! She needs you! She's like a damn ghost walking around here! She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, she doesn't leave that damn room. She just sits there and watches you."

"Sam. I said drop it. When you have something worth telling me come back, other than that I've got work to do."

"Well, we've got something, all right?...It's what I came by here to tell you. This is one of dad's old phones. Took me a while, but i cracked his voicemail code. Listen to this."

I froze. I wasn't going to be able to hear the voicemail as Dean listened to it, but this was the first lead we've had. I didn't want to just keep walking, I wanted to know.

"That message is four months old." Sam said to Dean.

"Dad saved that chick's message for four months?"

"Yeah."

"Well, who's Ellen? Any mention of her in Dad's journal?"

Ellen… no. I've never read anything about an Ellen.

"No. But I ran a trace on her phone number and I got an address."

"Ask Bobby if we can use one of his cars." Dean said wiping his hands and walking inside.

"Em… go grab your bag." Sam hollered to me. Grrreat. Stuck in a car with my brothers, that's the last place I want to be right now.

I went inside and grabbed my stuff. When I walked back out I passed Bobby and gave him a half smile.

"Darling…" he called after me, I turned around.

"I really wish you'd talk to them… its killin em you know. Dean may not say it… but he's worried about you too. He's just being an idjit right now."

"Okay Bobby." I said before walking back out and taking my time going to the mini van Sam was currently packing.

"This is humiliating. I feel like a friggin' soccer mom!" Dean said walking around from the side of the van.

"It's the only car Bobby had running."

It really was disgusting… totally not a Winchester approved ride. If I were able to find anything funny at the moment I'd be laughing my ass off at the site of Dean behind the wheel. But instead I just popped in my headphones to avoid any conversation.

It took us about 5 hours before we got there. We walked into the old dusty bar. There's no one around except for some drunk guy asleep on top of a table.

"Hey, buddy?" Sam said trying to wake him up.

"I'm guessing that isn't Ellen." Dean said.

"Yeah." Sam replied. I stood there and let them clear the area, Sam stepped into the back room right before Dean's voice caused me to turn around and reach for my gun.

"Oh god, please let that be a rifle." He says as I notice a small blonde woman standing behind him, she cocked the gun.

"No, I'm just real happy to see you. Don't move."

"Not moving, copy that. You know, you should know something, miss. When you put a rifle on someone, you don't want to put it right against their back. Because it makes it real easy to do..." he flung around and turned the rifle on her, "that."

She decked him square in the face and took the rifle back. I almost laughed, but kept my gun raised just incase.

"Sam! Em! Need some help in here."

"I can't see, I can't even see." He muttered to himself holding his nose.

I stayed hidden in the corner, not giving away my position to the blonde.

"Sorry, Dean, I can't right now. I'm a... little tied up." Sam said walking back into the main room with his hands up, there was a woman with a gun shoved into his back following right behind him.

"Sam? Dean? Winchester?" She asked.

"Yeah." The boys said in unison.

"Son of a bitch."

"Mom, you know these guys?" the blonde asked.

"Yeah, I think these are John Winchester's boys." She laughed and lowered her gun, the blonde did the same. "Hey, I'm Ellen. This is my daughter Jo."

"Hey." She said.

"You're not gonna hit me again, are you?" Dean asked.

"Don't you two have a sister?" Ellen asked.

"Yeah. Emily." I said stepping out of the corner and putting my gun back in my waistband.

"Damn your good… I didn't even see you over there." Jo said.

"Thanks" I mumbled.

We all sat down at the bar and Ellen offered Dean some ice for his face.

"Here you go."

"Thanks. You called our dad, said you could help. Help with what?" Dean asked.

"Well, the demon, of course. I heard he was closing in on it."

"What, was there an article in the Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed? I mean, who, who are you? How do you know about all this?"

"Hey, I just run a saloon. But hunters have been known to pass through now and again. Including your dad a long time ago. John was like family once."

"Oh yeah? How come he never mentioned you before?"

"You'd have to ask him that."

"So why exactly do we need your help?"

"Hey, don't do me any favors. Look, if you don't want my help, fine. Don't let the door smack your ass on the way out. But John wouldn't have sent you if... He didn't send you."

I looked down at the floor.

"He's all right, isn't he?"

"No. He's dead." I said coldy. Not looking up.

"Emily…" Sam tried. "It was the demon, we think. It, um, it just got him before he got it, I guess." Sam explained.

"I'm so sorry." Ellen said.

"It's okay. We're all right." Dean said quickly.

"Really? I know how close you and your dad were."

"Really, lady, he said we're fine." I snapped wanting to change the conversation.

"Emily." Dean said sternly. Warning me to watch my tone.

I got up and walked away from the bar.

"So look, if you can help, we could use all the help we can get." Sam told her.

"Well, we can't. But Ash will."

"Who's Ash?"

"Ash!" She yelled. Suddenly the drunk guy on the table shot up. Oh you gotta be shittin me.

"What? It closin' time?" He mumbled half asleep.

"That's Ash?" Sam asked.

"Mm-hmm. He's a genius." Jo said with a straight face.

"You've gotta be kidding me, this guy's no genius. He's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie." Dean said.

"I like you." Ash said sitting down next to Dean.

"Thanks." Dean muttered.

"Just give him a chance…" Jo said.

"All right. This stuff's about a year's worth of our dad's work, so uh, let's see what you make of it." Dean said handing it over to Ash. He pulled out the papers and shook his head at them.

"Come on. This crap ain't real. There ain't nobody can track a demon like this." He said.

"Our dad could." I replied.

"There are non-parametrics, statistical overviews, prospects and correlations, I mean.. damn! They're signs. Omens. Uh, if you can track 'em, you can track this demon. You know, like crop failures, electrical storms... You ever been struck by lightening? It ain't fun."

"Can you track it or not?" I asked unamused.

"Well. Aren't you cheery… Yeah, with this, I think so. But it's gonna take time, uh, give me... fifty one hours." He said getting up to leave.

"I hope you two know what you're doing." I said to Sam and Dean while getting up and going to shoot some pool.

"Hey, man?" Dean called to Ash.

"Yeah."

"I, uh, I dig the haircut."

"All business up front, party in the back." Mullets. Seriously? What hair dresser in their right mind let him do that…

I racked and cleared the table over and over again. Just keeping myself busy and avoiding having to make small talk. Dean was talking to Jo while Sam sat at the bar with Ellen looking at something. I was perfectly content keeping to myself.

"Hey Em." Sam called to me.

"What?" I answered not looking up, but instead sinking the ball in front of me.

"Come take a look at this…" I turned to see him and Dean eyeing through what looked like a case.

I sighed and walked over, reading the clippings.

"Yeah. Okay?"

"I told Ellen we'd check it out."

"Okay… I'll be in the car." I said walking back out.

(DEAN'S POV)

I watched Em walk back outside, but I didn't miss the glare Sam was giving me.

"Dean. Do something about it. Soon. Or she's going to lose it." He said to me harshly.

"Why don't you go handle it!" I shot back.

"Because she won't talk to me! She needs you and you have done nothing but avoid her since we left the hospital! I'm sick of it!"

"Lay off Sam…" I said chugging my beer and getting up. The last thing we need to do is have this fight in front of some woman we barely know. Family business is family business.

"No Dean! Get over yourself and go help that poor girl! She isn't even Emily anymore. She's basically Emily's ghost!"

"Sam! Not the time or place to have this discussion." I warned him with a look.

"You two don't need to be ashamed in front of me… I know what its like. We've all been there. And I don't know that poor girl out there… but I can tell you I know she probably shouldn't be left alone right now. If you two need anything we'll be here, got some cots out back if you wanna crash for the night."

"No… I think we're just gonna grab a room closer to the case, thanks Ellen." Sam said giving her a small smile.

"Okay… you boys becareful."

"Yes maam." I said walking back to the piece of shit van Bobby gave us. I felt like someone chopped my balls of when I got in the driver seat and pulled it out of the parking lot. Man I miss Baby.

I glanced back in the rearview mirror. Em was staring out the window with her headphones in. She usually does that when she's avoiding us. She doesn't want to talk to me… and I'm not gonna push. Its been days since I've seen her, she looks- different?

I drove us a couple hours out and pulled in for the night, then I went back out for a food run. The local diner had cheesecake. Em loves cheesecake, so I got her some to go with her chicken strips.

"Foods here." I called as I walked back in the door and kicked it shut with my foot. Sam was already at the table on his computer, researching the case I'm sure. Em was already in bed, wait? Its only like 8 'o' clock?

I pointed over to her and looked at Sam confused. He looked back as if to say "told you so." I just rolled my eyes. It can't be that bad. I mean I know I haven't exactly been around to see but Emily is Emily. She's tough… she'll get past this.

"Em food!" I yelled loud enough to wake her.

"Emily!" I watched her shift in the bed.

"Not hungry…" She said not even bothering to sit up.

"There's cheesecake?" I offered, this kid has never once turned down cheesecake in her entire life.

…Nothing. No reply. No looking up.

"Emily I said get up and eat." I walked over and tapped her feet like dad used to do to us, she just pulled them away.

"Em! Get up."

"Dean I'm tired and want to go to bed. Just put it in the fridge." She mumbled rolling over on her stomach and turning her face away from me.

I turned to look at Sam, he shot me a challenging look while crossing his arms. It was pissing me off. He acted like I hadn't been paying attention… I've been paying attention… sort of. Okay maybe not… But I've been.. busy. And she needed some space. Sam keeps getting in my face the last couple weeks about her not eating… I thought he was exaggerating. Baiting me into going to push her to talk, but now its slowly sinking in that he wasn't lying. That's why she looked different in the van… she's lost weight. She's pale, even with the make up. I started to feel angry. Not at her… not at him… but at myself. Its bad enough I've lied to her. For the first time in my life… I lied to her. I promised it was all going to be okay that day before Dad left. Now he's dead… how can I face her after that alone… and then on top of it I know Dad's gone because of me. It doesn't take a genius. I'm miraculously healed and then minutes later Dad is dead and the colts gone? I'm sure I'm not the only one who put it together. She's smart… I figured that's why she's been avoiding me. She must hate me. She lost her father because of me.

The more the thoughts sank into my mind the angrier I got.

"Emily get up now." I said sternly. She didn't move.

"Emily! I said Get. Up." I reached up and yanked the blankets off of her. This caused her to open her eyes and sigh, but she didn't look at me. She slowly sat up and walked over to the table.

I raised my eyes at Sam as if to say "see, she's fine." But he just rolled his eyes in response.

We sat at the table and I watched Em the whole time… Sam was right. She doesn't eat. She picks and picks and moves her food around so it looks like she eats, but she only takes a bite every few minutes.

I watched her take two small bites of the cheesecake and then get up and throw it all away.

"Okay that's it…" I said after trying not to say anything.

"What?" Sam asked confused. Emily didn't even turn around. She just kept rinsing her hands in the sink.

"I'm not just going to stand here and watch you starve yourself! You need to snap out of it! Get mad! Get pissed! Hit me! Scream at me! Cry your eyes out! I don't care but this is bullshit! I mean when was the last time you actually sat down and ate a meal?!" I got up yelling at Em, she never even turned around.

"Dean please don't do this." She said monotone.

"You're not really giving me any other choice! I mean look at yourself in a mirror! This isn't working, this isn't moving on. I tried to give you some space, let you sort it out on your own but I'm done…" She walked away from the sink and turned to look at me.

"Okay… can I go to bed now?" was all she asked. It was like nothing I said even bothered her… like it didn't even register.

"No! No what the hell is wrong with you… you you.. you're not even you! Snap out of it!" I grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, but she just stared at me.

"Dean… take it easy." Sam called from behind me.

"Okay. I'm sorry. Can I please go to bed." She whispered.

I stood up straight and stared back at her, looking for anything… any sign that told me she was angry, or upset, or that she was holding back. Instead I saw nothing. God what have I done…

"Yeah… yeah." I said backing away and rubbing the back of my head. She walked over to the bed and climbed in, no goodnight. No asking who's bed was who's. She just. Walked away from me.

I looked to Sam who looked even more concerned. I'm guessing he though our little show would get us somewhere, but I don't think any progress was made tonight.

The next morning Emily was awake and ready before My alarm went off. She sat on the couch and watched TV. Who knows how long shes been awake… I guess she's not really sleeping either. I can tell shes caked on makeup underneath her eyes today. Probably due to my little outburst last night.

I just wanna fix this… fix her. But for the first time in my life. I don't know how. Emily is broken and I can't put her back together.

(EMILY'S POV)

The carnival was small. One of those that just travels town to town. Pitching tent in an open field area. Dean's been watching me all morning, and even now walking up to the carnival he is right on my ass. I'm not sure why but I guess he decided to put his little cold shoulder routine off. Im not sure which is going to be worse, him avoiding me or him being on my ass.

"Check it out. Five-oh." Dean said pointing to the cops leaving the area.

Sam and I stood back as Dean went to get the information, while we were there a midget woman with a beard walked by and stopped to stare at Sam. He looked petrified. It was creepy as fuck to be fair.

"Did you get her number?" Dean joked walking back up to us as she walked away.

"More murders?" Was Sam's only reply.

"Two more last night. Apparently they were ripped to shreds. And they had a little boy with them."

"Who says it was a clown?" I asked quietly. Dean looked over and seemed shock that I spoke. I mean… I'm trying here dude. Quit staring at me.

"Yeah, a clown, who apparently vanished into thin air."

"Dean, you know, looking for a cursed object is like trying to find a needle in a stack of needles. They could be anything." Sam pointed out.

"Well, it's bound to give off EMF, so we'll just have to scan everything." Dean reasoned.

"Oh, good, that's nice and... inconspicuous." Sam rolled his eyes.

"I guess we'll just have to blend in." Dean said pointing to the "help wanted" sign hanging up behind him.

"Okay, lets go get jobs." Sam said sighing. They started to walk away but I stopped them.

"No ones going to believe a teenage girl ran away to the carnival… I'm more believable as the teenage girl who skipped school to go hang out on the ferris wheel. So text me when we have something." I turned to walk away.

"Oh I don't think so… there's about a hundred creeps hanging around a place like this. I don't want you out of my sight." Dean said stopping me, I turned back around and crossed my arms over my chest.

"Dean. You had no problem with me being out of your sight for the last 3 weeks… I have a gun. We both know I'm not afraid to use it. I'll be fine."

He looked at me like I punched him in the gut. But he didn't argue, so I turned and walked away.

(DEAN'S POV)

Ouch.

"Well Sam… you happy now?"

"What? Hey don't pin this back on me…"

"I told you she needed to be left alone, I told you she wanted space! Now you pushed me to get involved and its only making it worse! Don't you get it? She doesn't want anything to do with me… not after what I… not after everything. When I say lay off of something- LAY OFF!" I yelled at him before stalking off in the direction of a tent.

I wasn't really angry with him… I'm angry that I ignored this for so long and now its only made it worse, but unfortunately he was the closest punching bag. He didn't try to prolong the argument so I'm sure he knew what I was doing.

"Dean what is it you think you did exactly?" Sam asked when he caught up.

"Lets just go find Cooper."

"No man… you said the words, not me." He said moving to stand in front of me and stop me from going forward.

"Sam I'm not gonna have some chick flick moment with you right now. I gotta job to do." I pushed around past him.

(EMILY'S POV)

I handed a 50 to the guy running the ferris wheel, he nodded and let me on.

"I'll wave when I want down."

"Sure thing kid."

He got me settled in the seat and pushed the lever. I leaned back and looked at everything around, getting a birds eye view.

I wish I could get a birds eye view on my life right now… figure out where it all went wrong. Where I went wrong. I'm so fucked up right now. I'm hurting Sam. I'm hurting Dean. And I'm begging to feel guilty about it… but I can't.

I was probably sitting at the top of this damn thing for an hour when few kids came over and asked to ride, so now it was back to spinning, rode for a while, but when they got off others quickly got on. I waved down and the guy let me off.

I walked around until I noticed a tall guy wearing a red jacket, I smirked and walked over.

"Excuse me sir, I seem to have lost my sense of humor, can I borrow yours?" I said pushing a half smirk onto my face.

"Haha very funny." Sam said sarcastically.

"Find anything?"

"Nothing yet… I'm sweeping this side, Dean's sweeping everything past the 3 tents."

"Where do you need me?"

"Back in the game."

"Sam. Don't." I sighed.

"Emily come on… I get that you don't want to talk to me. I've been trying for weeks now. But I at least thought you'd talk to Dean. Kiddo… you're scaring me."

"Yeah well I'm scaring me too…" If you only knew. How numb I feel. How I desperately want to let you in… but there's nothing there to show.

"Come on… lets go scan the fun house." He said wrapping an arm around me. I wish it was as comforting now as I always found it before, but it just feels heavy. For Sam's sake I just leaned into him and walked forward.

Sam and I scanned the jumpy funhouse, we didn't find anything but Sam thought maybe the spirit could be attached to some remains, so he called Dean. We waited before he finally got to us.

"What took you so long?" Sam asked him.

"Long story. I-"

"Mommy, look at the clown!" A little girl near by said catching all of our attention… especially since none of us saw a clown.

"What clown?" Her mommy asked, she pointed between two trailers… there was nothing there.

"Come on, sweetie, come on." The mother said pulling her away.

"Well… I guess I know where we'll be tonight. Lets go before we lose them in the crowd" I said walking to follow the little girl and her parents.

(DEAN'S POV)

"Dean, I cannot believe you told Papazian about the homicidal phantom clown." Sam bitched at me.

"I told him an urban legend about a homicidal phantom clown. I never said it was real." I said cocking the gun and getting my things ready from the van. We were sitting outside the family's home waiting for this bastard to show up.

"Keep it down! She just fell asleep… god knows the last time she slept through the night." He scorned me as he turned to look at sleeping Emily in the back.

"Oh, and get this. I mentioned the Bunker Brother's Circus in '81 and their, uh, evil clown apocalypse? Guess what."

"What?"

"Before Mr. Cooper owned Cooper Carnival, he worked for Bunker Brothers. He was their lot manager."

"So you think whatever the spirit's attached to, Cooper just brought it with him?" he asked me.

"Something like that. I can't believe we keep talking about clowns."

"Hey.." He said smacking me in the chest.

"Looks like we got something… should I wake up Em?"

"No. Let her sleep… I think we can handle it." Besides that I'm not sure she's in the right frame of mind to even do the job right now… she's off.

Sam and I made it into the family's yard unnoticed, but once we busted through the door and came face to face with the little girl holding the hand of a clown things got noisy. She screamed and we fired, Sam took her to the side to protect her and I wrestled the bastard since our ammo had no effect on him. He jumped through the glass doorway and disappeared before our eyes. It wasn't even a half second later before her parents came down stairs and chased us out… We jumped in the van and hauled ass but I'm thinking we're better off walking once daylight hits.

(EMILY'S POV)

"I can't believe you idiots cost us our ride…" I groaned as we walked down the road back to the motel, carrying all our shit with us.

"Yeah well its not like you were a big help there sleeping beauty." Dean said with an attitude.

"Well maybe if you woke me up and let me help the job would be over be now asshole."

"Alright that's enough… both of you." Sam interrupted us.

"Well, one thing's for sure." Dean said.

"What's that?" Sam asked.

"We're not dealing with a spirit. I mean, that rock salt hit something solid."

"Yeah, a person? Or maybe a creature that can make itself invisible?"

"Yeah, and dresses up like a clown for kicks? Did it say anything in Dad's journal?"

"Nope." Sam said as he pulled out his phone.

"Who are you calling?" I asked.

"Maybe Ellen or that guy Ash'll know something. Hey, you think, uh, you think Dad and Ellen ever had a thing?"

"Ew." I quickly said.

"No way." Dean cut in.

"Then why didn't he tell us about her?"

"I don't know, maybe they had some sort of falling out." Dean reasoned.

"Yeah. You ever notice Dad had a falling out with just about everybody?"

Dean just nodded instead of replying.

"Well, don't get all maudlin on me, man." Sam said lowering the phone.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean this "strong silent" thing of yours, it's crap. And obviously you passed it on to our sister."

"Oh, god." Dean sighed.

"I'm over it. This isn't just anyone we're talking about, this is Dad. I know how you felt about the man Dean." Thank god his focus is on Dean and not me… cause I'm not in the mood to have this discussion again. Sam's pulled this on me a few times now. I slowed my pace and hung back some so that I wouldn't get dragged into it anymore than I already had been.

"You know what, back off, all right? Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to."

"No, no, no, that's not what this is about, Dean. I don't care how you deal with this. But you have to deal with it, man. Listen, I'm your brother, all right? I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Dude, I'm okay. I'm okay, okay? I swear, the next person who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches. These are your issues, quit dumping them on me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I just think it's really interesting, this sudden obedience you have to Dad. It's like, oh, what would Dad want me to do? Sam, you spent your entire life slugging it out with that man. I mean, hell, you, you picked a fight with him the last time you ever saw him. And now that he's dead, now you want to make it right? Well, I'm sorry Sam, but you can't, it's too little, too late."

"Dean!" I yelled. Implying that he had gone too far…

"Why are you saying this to me?" Sam asked.

"Because I want you to be honest with yourself about this. I'm dealing with Dad's death! Are you? I know she's not… but what about you huh? You keep pushing me… pushing her, but have you dealt with it?"

Sam looked heartbroken. I hated it. I even hoped I'd hate it so much I'd get upset… but instead I just stood there.

"I'm going to call Ellen." He said quietly before walking away, I caught up to where he left Dean standing.

"You're a real asshole today you know that?"

"Oh please… You don't even care enough to get angry at him. At least I'm doing something besides walking around like a damn zombie. I mean how long do you honestly plan on keeping this up huh?! Cause I'm getting real sick of this shit real fast." He snapped back at me.

Any other time his words would cut me like a knife. They were cruel. I wish I could get angry.

"Fuck off." I mumbled before walking away.

"Rakshasa." Sam announced coming back towards us, I kept my distance from Dean so he had to talk loud enough for us both to here.

"What's that?" Dean asked.

"Ellen's best guess. It's a race of ancient Hindu creatures. They appear in human form, they feed on human flesh, they can make themselves invisible, and they cannot enter a home without first being invited."

"So they dress up like clowns, and the children invite 'em in."

"Yeah."

"Why don't they just munch on the kids?" I asked.

"No idea. Not enough meat on the bones, maybe?"

"What else'd you find out?" Dean asked.

"Well, apparently, Rakshasas live in squalor. They sleep on a bed of dead insects."

"Well that's attractive…" I mused.

"Yeah, and they have to feed a few times every twenty or thirty years. Slow metabolism, I guess."

"Well, that makes sense. I mean, the Carnival today, the Bunker Brothers in '81." Dean put it together in his head.

"Right. Probably more before that." Sam agreed.

"Hey Sam, who do we know that worked both shows?"

"Cooper?" Sam guessed.

"Cooper." Dean confirmed.

"You know, that picture of his father, that looked just like him."

"You think maybe it was him?" Dean asked.

"Well, who knows how old he is?"

"Ellen say how to kill him?"

"Legend goes, a dagger made of pure brass."

"I think I know where to get one of those." Dean said more to himself then us.

"Well, before we go stabbing things into Cooper, we're going to want to make damn sure it's him." I reminded them.

"Oh, you're such a stickler for details, Em. All right, I'll round up the blade, you two go check if Cooper's got bedbugs."

"Lovely." I said sarcastically.

It took us a while to get back to the motel, but not long to hotwire a car and get back to the carnival, we split and me and Sam left for Cooper's trailer.

We had just gotten in and started cutting open the mattress when a voice form behind us spooked me and I jumped dropping the knife.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing!" We turned to see Cooper pointing a shotgun at us.

"Whoa man.. Its.. Its not what it looks like okay?" Sam said raising his hands, but Cooper proceeded to cock the gun anyways.

"Okay! Okay… we're leaving!" Sam said standing up and grabbing me by the arm, leading us both out with our backs against the wall, thankfully Cooper didn't follow. We took off running in Dean's general direction.

"Hey!" Sam yelled when we caught sight of him.

"Hey."

"So, Cooper thinks I'm a Peeping Tom, but it's not him."

"Yeah, so I gathered. It's the blind guy. He's here somewhere."

"Well, did you get the –" I started but was interrupted.

"The brass blades? No. No, it's just been one of those days." I rolled my eyes.

"I got an idea. Come on." Sam said taking off towards the fun house.

When we get inside I'm suddenly separated from them by a wall. What the hell!

"No! Emily!" Dean pounded against the moving wall but it wasn't going to budge.

"Sam!" I called out.

"Emily! Em, find the maze, okay?" Sam yelled back.

I took off and looked around for a way back to them, I could hear struggling. I followed the sound until I rounded a corner and found them.

"Hey! Where is it?" I yelled.

"I don't know, I mean, shouldn't we see its clothes walking around?" Dean asked as we all frantically look around us.

Suddenly a knife flies past Dean and pins his jacket to the wall, then another.

"Emily get down!" Sam called to me. He pulled off a pip and walked towards me but a knife flies at his face, thankfully missing him but only by inches.

"Dammit, where is he?" Sam asked.

"I don't know!" I yelled.

I look around and notice the steam pipes above Dean.

"Dean! Pull the lever!" I said pointing to them, he pulled it and the room fills with steam, I can vaguely make out the shape of a man behind Sam.

"Sam, behind you! Behind you!" I yelled.

Sam shoves the brass pipe backwards and it sticks in what looks like thin air, but quickly the creature became visible and fell to the floor in front of us. Dean removed the knives holding him against the wall and I slid down the floor and sat against the wall trying to catch my breath.

"I hate funhouses." I mumbled.

"Where you guys been? Been waitin' for ya." Ash called out as we walked back into the Roadhouse.

"We were working a job, Ash. Clowns?" Sam reminded him.

"Clowns? What the –"

"You got something for us, Ash?" Dean quickly cut him off. We pulls us over to sit down with him in front of what I'm guessing to be a homemade laptop… the thing has wires everywhere. You'd probably get electrocuted by sitting too damn close to it.

"Did you find the demon?" I asked.

"It's nowhere around. At least, nowhere I can find. But if this fugly bastard raises his head, I'll know. I mean, I'm on it like Divine on dog dookie."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"I mean, any of those signs or omens appear, anywhere in the world, my rig'll go off. Like a fire alarm."

"Do you mind..." Dean asked as he reached for the laptop. Ash gave him a death glare. Dean quickly took the hint and pulled his hand back.

"Ash, where did you learn to do all this?" Sam asked surprised.

"M.I.T. Before I got bounced for... fighting."

"M.I.T.?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah babe, It's a school in Boston."

"Don't call me babe…" I said rolling my eyes and getting up to leave.

"Okay. Give us a call as soon as you know something?" Dean asked him.

"Si, si, compadre."

We piled back into a car we lifted earlier and headed back to Bobby's. I was relieved to get back to my room. Back to my hole. My cave. My jail…

I sat in that same damn windowsill just watching Dean work on Baby. As if when it was fixed I would be too… but I knew better than that. I'm not sure anything can fix me. I'm not sure I'm worth fixing anymore. Dean can't stand me… I'm burdening Sam and Bobby. My daddy is dead. I don't really have anything else in life besides those few people and the job- and I could barely do that.

Sam walked out to Dean, this pulled me out of my train of thoughts.

It was obvious they were arguing again… after a few minutes Sam walked away crying. I waited for Dean to go back under the hood, but instead I watched him pick up a crow bar.

He swung it over and over and over again. Destroying the trunk he had just reattached. I was jealous… This was Dean's breaking point. This is where he gets so low he has no choice to get back up again. Will I ever get that? Will I ever stop feeling like this? Is this my bottom? I mean how much more of this am I supposed to sit through… I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand being numb any longer. I had to stop it. I had to feel something. Feel anything. Anything at all. I had to get away…

I got up and showered, taking my time to make sure my make up covered the pale skin and bags under my eyes. I got dressed in denim shorts and my black Lynrd Skynrd tshirt, topping it all off with my boots. Then I waited until Dean came inside and went to bed before making my move. I climbed out the two story window and scaled down the lattice that once held vines. Once I was on the ground I took off running.

I knew the boys wouldn't come to check on me until morning, so once I was out of sight I slowed down, the closest bar was a few miles away.

When I walked in it was crowded. I hadn't even really noticed what day it was but It was obvious to me now it must be a Friday or a Saturday night. I looked and found an empty barstool down at the end. I quickly made my way to it.

"What'll it be kid?" an older scruffy man came over and asked me.

"Tequila. Double please."

"You got an ID?" He asked eyeing me. I pulled out the one that said I was a fresh 21. It was the more believable of the few I had stashed away.

He walked off and came back with a shot glass and a bottle.

"Looks like you'll be ordering more than one… saves me the walking." He said as he set it down and walked away.

I picked up the small glass in front of me and stared at it before pouring what felt like liquid fire down my throat.

I've only really drank a few times in my life. But I was always a happy drunk. Most people drink to forget how they feel, I'm hoping a drink will remind me what its like to feel happy again.

I took another… then another.

"Hi there." A voice from beside me charmed.

"Hi." I replied before looking away again and pouring another shot.

"You wanna share some of that?" The voice spoke to me again.

This time I sat and looked at him for longer than a half second. He was cute. He had these bright blue eyes, his smile was charming, and a head full of luscious dark hair a little longer than Sam's to top it all off.

"Dude I'm not a bartender, if you want a drink ask him." I said pointing at the older man at the other end of the bar.

"Well aren't you in a fabulous mood." He said to me coyly, obviously not taking the hint.

"Look. You're a good looking guy and you know it. Any other night I'd be down to have this conversation but I'm just really not in the mood. So please- go bug someone else." I said bluntly.

"So you think I'm good looking?" He asked with a smile and raised eyebrows.

"Is that seriously the only part of that you heard?" I scoffed.

"No. I heard that a pretty girl had a bad day, and I think I can make it better. Come on, at least let me try… what do you have to lose?" Nothing.

"Get your own glass." I muttered to him taking another shot.

"So do I get a name?" He asked me after the bartender walked away.

"Emily."

"Well Emily I'm Daniel.. or Danny." He reached out his hand, I looked at it for a moment before shaking it.

"So what's got a girl like you in here hogging a bottle of tequila?" He said taking a shot.

I laughed and bit my lip taking another shot. Things started to get a fuzzy, but it wasn't enough to bother me yet.

"You couldn't even begin to understand…" I said looking down at the glass in front of me.

"Okay. Well then tell me something about you. Something that I can understand."

I looked up to him curiously… what's this guy playing at?

"I think its too hot in here." I answered with a sarcastic smile.

"Yeah.. I'm thinking that's the tequila kicking in sweetheart." He laughed.

I nodded taking yet another shot.

"So are you going to tell me anything about yourself or are you going to avoid talking to me?" He asked.

"I don't do small talk." Which is honest. There's not much for me to talk about.

"Okay… well then lets cut to the chase. You're attractive. I'm attractive. Lets get outta here." He smiled at me.

I don't know if it was the alcohol… or my desperation but I downed another shot and bit my lip grinning back at him. Maybe this is it… a solid make out session.. first base, maybe even second? I mean I'm 16… my hormones are crazy they're bound to snap me out of it right?

I just… I wanna feel something… anything. I want to be something other than numb!

"Okay…" I said.

He came over and helped me stand since I was a little clumsy from the series of shots I just took. He walked me out the front door and opened the door for me as I climbed into his truck.

"Nice ride." I said as he got in and pulled us away from the bar.

"Thanks." He chuckled.

"Where do you wanna go?" He asked me.

"Someplace with air conditioning." I replied, feeling the heat in my blood from all the alcohol.

"Yes maam." He said, we drove for about 10 minutes before he pulled into a motel. A small sober part of me was telling me to leave… go back to Bobby's. But the drunk part of me was so desperate to feel again. So I ignored it.

He parked in front of a room and led me inside, I felt woozy when I stood. The alcohol was taking full effect.

"You good babe?" He asked me noticing me sway.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine… I just. I wanna lay down."

He pulled me over to the bed and laid me down on top of the stiff blanket.

He hovered above me and slowly went in for the kiss. I eagerly returned it. I ran my hand through his hair, grabbing on at the back of his head. He replied by leaning down and pushing his hand up my back, crushing me against him.

Parts of me were screaming to run, but the others were screaming to take it just a little further… just a little more.

He climbed all the way on the bed and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He broke the kiss and lifted my shirt up over my head, leaving me in my bra. He looked down at the healing scar…

"Damn baby… what happened to you?" He asked out of breath.

"Car accident." I mumbled, but he wouldn't stop looking at it. I felt ugly… I wanted his attention away from it so I quickly reached back and unhooked my bra, sliding it off the bed.

His eyes went back up to my chest and he grabbed them and leaned back down kissing along my neck and collarbone.

I knew where this was headed… but part of me didn't want to stop it. I wanted it. I was so drunk I'm not even sure I could say no at this point.

I reached over and pulled his shirt off of him, leaving us bare chested as we rubbed against each other, it made me feel alive. My body was stirring in a way I'd never felt before. It felt so good to feel something. It reminded me I wasn't dead… I wasn't hollow. So I reached down and began to undo the belt around his waist, he quickly kicked out of his jeans and reached down to undo mine, he pulled them off with ease and there I laid. Exposed, too far gone to stop. Not that I wanted to. Every nerve ending I had felt like a live wire, every heartbeat was faster and faster. I leaned up and crashed his lips to mine while he pushed forward.

Pain. Sharp forceful pain. But I didn't stop him… I didn't want to. For the first time in so long I felt so many things, I felt everything. So I welcomed him instead. My body moving with his.

I always playing with fire when it came to boys… I was always testing to see how far I could take it. I guess its true… when you play with fire you get burned.

My head was pounding… it was bright. Even with my eyes closed I felt like someone was trying to blind me. I turned away from the light source and slowly opened my eyes… as my vision adjusted I noticed the face laying next to me.

Oh my god… what did I do?

The memories from last night flooded my mind. I quickly went to climb out of the bed and away from the stranger laying next to me, but then I realized I was naked.

I took the sheet I was under and wrapped it around me frantically.

Once I was standing I looked around for my phone, it was on the floor in the middle of the room… then I looked for my clothes, but I couldn't find them in the mess we had left. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I sunk down against the wall and dialed the number that first came to my mind.

"Hello…" the muffled voice groaned, obviously still asleep.

"….De." I barely squeaked out.

"Em?" He said suddenly more awake.

"De.. I fucked up…. Im so sorry." And there it was.

3 weeks of feeling nothing. The begging to feel something again… to hit bottom. Well here I am- and it fucking sucks.

I felt everything that I'd had shoved in the back of my mind. I felt the pain… the hurt… the anger… the guilt… I felt it all at once and it was so overwhelming that I dropped the phone and had to lean over and puke into the toilet.

I started to cry, the levee that I thought would never break again came crashing down, my god it hurt.

"Emily! Emily answer me!" I could barely hear the voice coming through the phone on the ground. I picked it back up and put it to my ear.

"Dean I-I-I'm so-r-r-ry.." I cried.

"Emily baby where are you…" He asked frantically.

"I don't know!... I was so stupid… Dean I'm sorry." I whispered into the phone.

"Emily you stay there… I'm having Sam trace your phone right now baby… you just stay there and I'm coming to get you okay?!"

I couldn't respond through the sobs.

"Emily! Kiddo come on! Talk to me…" he said panicking. The fear in his voice amplified the fear I felt.

"De.. I-I-I- I ca-a-an't. I me-e-e-esssssed I messed u-up." I sobbed into the phone.

"Its okay babygirl… I'll be there in just a few minutes okay.. you just lock the door and wait for me." He hung up the phone and I dropped it to the floor.

I pulled my knees up to my chest and that's when I noticed the blood… when I noticed the blood that's when I remembered the pain. It hurt even now.

They always talk about how great it is… but no one ever tells you how much it hurts. The thought just made me feel worse about what I'd done. I'd done this to myself… I was so stupid. So desperate. I was so disgusted with myself.

More vomit came up and I heaved repeatedly till I felt like my stomach was empty.

(DEAN'S POV)

"When did she even leave?" Sam asked me as I peeled out of Bobby's driveway and onto the black top.

"I don't know Sam! I just know she's gone!"

"Is she okay… was she hurt?" He asked me concerned.

"Dammit Sam I don't know! I don't know anything okay!"

"Okay… take a left up ahead."

"Where are we headed?" I asked, Sam had his laptop on with her gps locator going, he quickly typed in the address that we tracked it to.

"… Dean. She's at a motel?" He said confused.

"Which one?"

"Um, the Old Brim… Dean, was she alone?" He asked quietly.

"Don't. Don't even go there… just. Tell me where to turn and shut up!"

I couldn't bear the thought… what if someone took her. What did they do to her… I can't. I've fucked up so much lately… let her down in so many ways. I just. I have to get to her, now.

We pulled into the motel and jumped out of the car.

"What room Sam?!" I asked running towards the building.

"Uhh.. 202."

When we got to the room I started to bang on the door.

"Emily! Emily open up!"

"Whoa! Dude! What the hell is your problem?" asked the young guy who opened the door with no shirt on, I glanced at him, then to into the room. Emily's shoes were on the floor, I glanced up. Blood spots on the sheets... Everything inside me boiled red hot.

"You son of a bitch where is she!" I yelled shoving him inside and up against the wall!"

"Hey hey! Whoa dude look I didn't know she had a boyfriend! She never said anything at the bar!" He replied frantically.

"The bar?! You picked up my 16 year old kid sister in a fucking bar?!" I screamed slamming him against the wall again. His eyes suddenly went wide.

"16?! Dude she said she was 21! I swear man! I'm not a perv! I- I didn't know!" He stuttered. Terrified. I swung and punched him so hard he fell to the ground. Then I swung again, and again, and again. I didn't stop till Sam pulled me off.

"Leave! Now!" Sam yelled shoving him as he scrambled for the door.

"Emily! Emily!" I yelled looking around the room for her.

"Dean…" Sam said gesturing to the bathroom.

I ran over and shook the door handle, it was locked. Good girl.

"Emily open the door baby… open up its me." I said as softly as I could manage with fire still running in my veins. I could rip that guy apart right now.

There was no reply, I panicked.

"Sam move." I said backing up, I kicked the door in, breaking it free of the lock.

When it swung back open I saw her… my Emily. She was wrapped up in a sheet off the bed and was balled up crying into her knees. I walked forward and got down on my knees in front of her.

"Emily… kiddo?" I asked reaching out to grab her arm. She flinched and finally looked up.

Her eyes… I'd never seen them full of so much pain. I'd never seen her so broken before. I can't believe I let her fall this far… I'm so angry with myself. I could have stopped this. I could have helped her. She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me.

"De… I'm so sorry… I fucked up." She said to me barely able to get the words past her lips.

"No. No.. shhh.. come here babygirl." I grabbed her and pulled her to me.

(EMILY'S POV)

I know he was going to hate me even more for what I did. But right now I needed him. I needed him to not hate me, just for a little while. He pulled me to him and I used one hand to hold the sheet around me, the other I reached back and pulled around his neck, getting a death grip onto his shirt.

"Shhhh. Its okay kiddo. Its okay." He whispered to me as I cried into him.

"Em… did he… did you two-" he couldn't even get the words out.

"Yes..." I whispered knowing what he was asking. "Its hurts De." I cried into his shoulder.

"I know babygirl… I know." His grip around me tightened and he leaned us back against the tub, pulling me into his lap like I was 5 years old again. I felt so vulnerable. My brothers are the only ones who I'd let see me like this, and even that was hard enough.

"Sam, go find her clothes." He said turning to look towards the doorway.

A few minutes later he came back.

"Dean I can't find anything but her shorts." He said as we walked in and crouched down next to us.

"Its okay, here baby sit up for a second." He leaned me forward and I looked up to Sam. He reached forward and pushed the falling hairs behind my ear. His stare full of pity and guilt. As if this somehow came back on him.

Dean pulled out of his long sleeve dark blue button up, leaving him in the black tshirt he had underneath, he took the shorts from Sam's hand and set the two down on the edge of the tub.

He reached up and used both hands to cup my face. "Okay kiddo… put these on and lets get out of here… okay?"

I slowly nodded my head up and down not breaking eye contact.

He stood up and helped me to my feet before he and Sam walked out of the bathroom. The door was broken and wouldn't shut so I waited for them to be away from the door before I dropped the sheet and carefully pulled on Dean's shirt, then pulled the shorts up by cold bare legs. I went to walk out of the bathroom and felt the soreness again. It was a painful reminder of how horrible of a person I was. I stepped out and looked to Dean who had my boots in his hand, he was staring at the bed that had ruffled sheets and small blood stains. I felt so ashamed. I looked over to Sam, he was looking at me. I walked over and wrapped my arms around him.

I knew Sam wouldn't be mad… he wouldn't hate me for what I did. He'd be disappointed, but he understood things like this more than Dean did.

"Lets get out of here." Dean mumbled leading us out to an old junker car. I quickly got in the backseat and pulled my knees up again. I felt exposed. I felt like I was still naked. We were almost back to Bobby's when the though of having to walk into his house and look him in the eye hit me… what would Bobby think of me? I felt like I could puke again.

"Can we just stop… please. For just a minute." I asked.

"Em you okay?" Sam instantly reached back and put a hand on my knee.

"We're almost back Em." Dean said reassuringly.

"Please… Dean. Just stop. Here." I begged tears forming again, he slowed the car and pulled it off to the shoulder.

"Talk to us kiddo." Dean asked after he parked and turned to look at me.

"I just… I just don't really feel like I can look at Bobby right now. Walk into his house after… after all this." I said softly staring out the window, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Em he doesn't know anything." Sam tried to reassure me.

"No but I do… you two do. I'll be walking in half naked… it won't take him long to figure it out."

"Okay. We can sit here for a while." Dean said turning off the engine.

"… Do you want to talk about it?" Sam asked after a few seconds of silence.

Yeah. I do. I want to talk about it… but how do you talk to your brothers about this? But I don't have anyone else.

"Is it weird if I say yes?" I asked not looking either of them in the eye.

"No. Em, its not. It's a big deal… you need to talk to someone. I would rather it be us than anyone else." Dean quickly said.

I nodded before reaching forward and climbing over the seat, they made room for me to sit between them. I leaned against Sam and pushed my cold feet under Dean's leg, he put a hand on my knee.

"I just. I couldn't feel anything. I haven't felt anything for weeks… not since we left the hospital. It's like I was hollow. Like everything inside me died when daddy did." I whispered fiddling with my hands.

"I couldn't cry… I couldn't get angry. I couldn't do anything but sit there and watch everything around me happen. As if I wasn't really there. I wanted to be me again, I wanted to feel something again. I know it was bothering you… both of you. I was just making it harder on you, I was being selfish. And I hated myself for that. But I didn't know how to get past this… I just thought that. I don't know. People drink to forget how they feel, maybe drinking could remind me. So I waited until Dean went inside, and I went to the bar. Dean… I didn't. I didn't plan on leaving that bar with anyone. I swear." I said looking up to him, my voice cracking.

"I know kiddo, things happen…" he said rubbing his thumb across the top of my knee. Sam patiently and quietly kept me sat against his side, listening. Taking it all in like he used to. He's like a sponge. You could tell him anything and he would never react… he'd just soak it all up. Wait for me to finish and then tell me that he loved me and that we would figure it out.

"I just… I had too much to drink. And when he offered, I just. I was so desperate… I was so stupid. I didn't mean to let it get that far… but the farther we went the more I felt myself come back to life. I felt like a person again." I felt extremely self-conscious and moved to wrap my arms around myself. I leaned and laid my head against my knees. Dean moved his hand and started to stroke the hair behind my ear.

"It hurt… it still hurts. No one ever said it would be like that…" I mumbled.

Sam rubbed his hand on my back.

"It'll stop Em. Just give it some time." Dean cooed.

"I'm so sorry De. I know you hate me right now… but please. I- I didn't mean to…" I said starting to cry again.

"Emily I don't hate you. Why would you ever think that?" Dean asked pulling my face up to look at him.

"De you went days at a time without even looking at me. You've never treated me like that… I didn't know what I did, I just knew you wanted nothing to do with me anymore. But then I couldn't even be upset about it. I just took it for what it was. Figured I'd learn to live with it."

Dean's eyes watered.

"Emily. I am so sorry… I thought. I thought you were mad at me… I lied to you. I told you it would be okay that day, I promised you. And I lied. I just. I couldn't bear to face you after that. I made it a point my entire life to never lie to you. Babygirl this isn't your fault… none of this. I should have been there. I should've made sure you were never in that bar, in that motel room… Kiddo I let you down, over and over again. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that… through this. I never in a million years wanted it to go down like that. You deserve more. I am so sorry." He pulled me into his arms again and I let out everything I'd been holding back. I fell apart, because I finally could- and I could do so knowing that Dean would put me back together.

We sat there for a few minutes and then I finally pulled away, sitting up and wiping my face. I turned and sat back under Sam's long arm, pulling it across me and wrapping both my arms around it. I felt safe. I felt comfortable. I finally felt like things would be okay.

"Em… I uh.. I hate to ask this. But… did you at least use protection?" Sam asked. I looked down instantly… trying to remember.

"Honestly I was too drunk to even remember…" I mumbled.

I could hear Sam blow a puff of air out of his mouth and take a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry Sammy. I didn't mean to…" I said looking up to him.

"I know kiddo… its okay, we'll figure it out. No matter what happens okay?"

"Yeah…." I mumbled. The thought of being knocked up suddenly rushing through my head. God please. Don't let this mistake get any worse.

"Alright Em, we gonna sit here all day or you wanna go back to Bobby's and I'll make you some breakfast?" Dean asked trying to put on a smile.

"…Scrambled eggs and ketchup?" I asked with eyebrows raised. He chuckled.


	24. Chapter 24

Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews and follows/favs! I can't express how it feels to get new reviews! They push me to keep writing!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Damn Em, did you leave any for the rest of us?" Dean asked walking into the kitchen.

"Nope." I mumbled taking in my last bite of cheesecake… the last bite of the entire cheesecake that Dean bought just yesterday.

"You ate an entire cheesecake in a day?!" He asked with wide eyes.

"Hey. When you uterus attempts suicide once a month then you can comment on my eating habits, till then- shut up." I replied with a smile. The word uterus made him cringe.

"Can you just. Not. Talk about it?" Sam asked sitting across the table from me.

"Hey. I'm just happy its trying to commit suicide and not trying to grow a bun in the oven." I said truthfully.

Its been almost 3 weeks since it happened, Dean bought like 10 pregnancy tests between that day and a few days ago when I finally started my period. Thank you Jesus for that!

"Yeah that makes two of us." Dean said sitting down with a piece of pie.

"So, I think I found us a case." Sam said.

"Will Baby be up and running for this one? Cause I don't think I can handle another minivan." I said quietly so Bobby wouldn't hear me.

"I heard that." Bobby stated from the living room. Dammit. I swear he's got the hearing of a bat.

"Sorry Bobby." I mumbled back giggling.

"Yeah she should be done tomorrow, gonna take her out for a test spin make sure nothings knocking around under the hood, make sure all my fluids are topped off, and wash her up real pretty. Then we can stock the trunk and get back to business." Dean said excitedly. Sam and I looked to each other and smiled.

"Alright well then sounds like its going to be a busy day, I'm going to get some sleep." Sam said getting up and walking over to kiss the top of my head.

"Night kiddo."

"Night Sammy."

"Hows the nightmares?" Dean asked me quietly. They've gotten better since my little breakdown, but I've still woken up screaming quite a few times, of course then I have two grown ass brothers barging in the room. I'm getting between 4 and 5 hours every night.

"I don't know… they still come and go. Just hard to sleep sometimes still."

"You need to crash in our room again?"

"Nah. If we're hitting the road soon I better soak up getting to hog a bed while I can." I smiled, Dean chuckled in return.

"Well you know where we'll be, if you need anything you come get me kiddo."

"Yes Dean." I said rolling my eyes. He jokingly pushed me a little before heading off to bed himself. I wasn't ready to try and sleep yet. Now that I'm back to feeling everything the nightmares are more intense. Less often, but scarier. This time I wake up in a panic and it doesn't just go away. I've had to make Dean or Sam sleep in my room a few times, Dean usually gets me calmed back down pretty quickly from the bad ones, but if its not a bad one Sam stays and lets me work through it on my own some. I'm getting better.

I decided if I was staying up I could at least sit with Bobby and see if he needs any help.

"Finding anything?" I asked.

"No… that damn demon hasn't left a breadcrumb anywhere that I can see. But you know I'll keep looking darling."

"I know Bobby. Thank you for everything these past weeks… we'd be lost without you ya know."

"You three are always welcome here, you know that. I'll always have a bed for you. One you don't have to share with those two smelly brothers of yours." He said grinning. I laughed.

"I hope I'm not keeping you up at night." I mumbled.

"Oh no, I can sleep through a tornado if I need to. I get sleep, I'm more worried about you getting sleep… not that I don't love these late night chats of ours but eventually you have to go to bed."

"I know… just trying to put them off a little longer ya know?"

"Yeah kid I do."

"Hey Bobby… can I ask you something."

"Anything."

"When the demon… when he possessed daddy, and everything went to hell. He said I was some sort of backup for Sam… do you know what that means? I asked Daddy before he… you know. But all he could say is that he hoped it didn't come down to me."

Bobby stared at me for a long minute, almost as if debating on his choice of words.

"I'll make you a deal… I'll tell you what I know. If you promise me that afterwards you'll get some sleep."

I rolled my eyes, "Okay. I promise."

"Well darling I don't know much. I know very little actually… I know Sam's got some sort of visions going on. I know that you are sensitive to things, situations and people. You've always been able to sort of sense a bad thing coming ya know?" As he spoke it I realized he was right. I never paid it much attention but I usually do get some sort of bad feelings right before something happens. "I believe those two are connected. Whatever happened that night to your mom… or that night when Sam was a baby. It's a mystery, but I know it left you both with a little something. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. But I know whatever it is, you two can handle it. You were raised right, you know whats good and whats bad. Your daddy never would tell me everything he knew. I wish I had more for you. But that's all I got."

"Thanks Bobby." I smiled hugging him.

"Now get to bed rascal." He demanded. I sighed and got up dragging my feet up the stairs. I went to lay down in my bed and used the extra pillow as a cuddle buddy, wrapping both arms around it. I quickly drifted off to sleep… but it was once again short lived.

*DREAM*

Its black. Pitch black. I feel like I'm spinning in circles. I can hear him. Daddy. He's yelling my name.

"Daddy!" I scream. Reaching my arms out hoping to find something solid to grab onto.

The spinning stops and I feel like I land on something hard with a thud, suddenly a bright white light is over me. I put my hand up to spare my eyes and stand, looking around again.

"Daddy! Daddy! Where are you?!" I asked frantically. His voice is still calling me.

I take off running, but my feet feel so heavy that I feel like I can barely move them. My lungs feel like their going to burst, my feet feel like they're coming down on needles with every step I take, but I just keep running.

I finally see him. Hes facing away from me.

"Daddy!" I said relieved running to him. He slowly turns to look at me, when he does I see the bright yellow in his eyes and freeze. He gives me an evil smile. Something cold. Something terrifying. I begin to run in the other direction, he is chasing after me.

I turn to look back when I feel myself smack into a wall. I lay on the ground looking up at what looks like a night sky, there are no stars. I close my eyes, but suddenly I feel something dripping onto my face. I go to wipe it off and notice the red liquid smearing between my thumb and index finger. I slowly turn to look up and he's standing above me. Eyes bright yellow, covered in blood. He reaches down for me and I scream.

"Em!" Somebody different yells into my ear.

I gasp for air and feel arms around me. I quickly realize I'm awake. My heart is racing and my clothes are sticking to me. I look up and see Dean. Poor Dean. Dammit… I've gone 3 days without waking him up. I thought maybe we were past this.

"Shit Dean… I'm sorry. I'm okay, just go back to bed." I said shakily. Trying to control my breathing.

"So how bad was this one" He simply asks, handing me a cool wash cloth, I took it and rubbed it on my face before setting it on the back of my neck.

"…Dad was possessed again. He was going to kill me." I whispered.

"Well its over now kiddo." He said reassuringly.

"I wish they were all over, I feel like I should be past this by now."

"Its just gonna take some time Em. Its been a pretty traumatic couple of months."

"Yeah but you and Sam aren't screaming in your sleep or waking up in panic attacks." I said matter of factly.

"No. But we both know the feeling of losing a parent already… we've been there. You were too young to go through it then. Besides, they aren't coming as often, I'm sure in a few weeks they'll be gone."

"I hope so… you should really go back to sleep De. Its only 2 in the morning." I said glancing at the clock.

"Okay, well I'm crashing in here then. Scooch."

He knows they won't come back if I'm not alone. I wanted to savor a bed to myself one last time but maybe getting back to our regular sleeping arrangements will get rid of these damn things and I can sleep again. I reached over and found the extra pillow I had been cuddling and handed it to Dean. He laid down flat on his back and I laid against his arm, we both fell back to sleep quickly.

"Whoo! Listen to her purr! Have you ever heard anything so sweet?" Dean said as he gassed it turning onto the main road. We just left Bobby's and Baby is back in the game.

"You know, if you two wanna get a room, just let me know, Dean." Sam said from the front seat. I giggled.

"Oh, don't listen to him, baby. He doesn't understand us."

"You're in a good mood." I laugh.

"Why shouldn't I be?"

"No reason."

"Got my car, got a case, things are looking up."

"Wow. Give you a couple of severed heads and a pile of dead cows and you're Mister Sunshine." Sam commented sarcastically, Dean just laughed.

"How far to Red Lodge?" Dean asked Sam.

"Uh, about another three hundred miles."

"Good." Dean said with a smile as he slammed on the gas and Baby purred along to ACDC on the radio. I had to smile myself. It felt good getting back out on the road. It was our normal. I was ready for some normal after the last couple of months. I was perfectly content in the backseat popping nerds into my mouth a few at a time- occasionally throwing one at Sam until Dean caught on and yelled about me dirtying the perfectly clean car. I went back to simply eating them.

We pulled into town and parked out by the sheriff's station.

"Okay boys am I in or out on this one?" I asked noting that they were changed into their fed suits.

"Out. Still too young to pull off being a fed Em." Dean said.

"I could probably pass for an intern?" I suggested.

"Just wait here, we'll be back in a few." Sam said. I sighed as I watched them walk in the doors.

The boys were back in about thirty minutes and we headed off to the morgue.

"Oh so I'm not old enough to pull this off at the sheriff's but you think I can pull it off for the morgue?!" I asked as we walked towards the double doors, we were all in white lab coats, the boys wearing the fed suit underneath and me in a black pencil skirt and blue blouse, stilettos to match.

"Oh shut up already. Just be thankful you got a new badge." Dean said referring to my "Intern" badge. This better mean I get to be more involved and stop having to sit in the damn car so much.

We walked into the morgue and noticed a medical examiner standing there, shit.

"John." Dean quickly said.

"Jeff." The man corrected.

"Jeff. I know that. Dr. Dworkin needs to see you in his office right away." Dean tried to smooth over.

"But Dr. Dworkin's on vacation." Shit again.

"Well, he's back. And he's pissed, and he's screaming for you, man, so if I were you I would haul ass." I said sounding sympathetic. The poor guy got a panicked look and took off, leaving us in the morgue by ourselves.

" Hey, those satanists in Florida, they marked their victims, didn't they?" Dean asked outloud.

"Yeah, reversed pentagram on the forehead." Sam answered.

"Yeah. So much fucked up crap happens in Florida."

"Then how come we never get to go and have a vacation?" I asked putting on a pair of latex glove and handing the box over to the boys who did the same. Neither of them bothered to answer me. Assholes.

"All right, open it." Dean said as he pulled out the decapitated body with a box sitting next to it.

"You open it." Sam said back. I laughed.

"Wuss." Dean muttered before picking up the box and setting it on a table and flipping off the lid, ewwwww.

"That. Is disgusting…" I mumbled barely able to look at the severed head. The last time I saw a severed head it didn't end well.

"Well, no pentagram." Dean said.

"Wow. Poor girl." Sam added.

"Maybe we should, uh, you know, look in her mouth, see if those wackos stuffed anything down her throat. You know, kinda like the moth in Silence of the Lambs."

"Yeah, here, go ahead."

"No, you go ahead."

I watched in amusement as they argued.

"What?"

"Put the lotion in the basket." Dean said quoting the damn movie.

"Right, yeah, I'm the wuss, huh? Whatever." Sam mumbles before putting his fingers in the girls mouth.

I slightly gag.

"Dean, get me a bucket?" Sam says.

"You find something?"

"No, I'm going to puke."

"I second that." I say watching him dig around and remove his hand.

"Wait, lift the lip up again?" I said suddenly.

"What? You want me to throw up, is that it?" Sam asks me.

"No, no, no, I think I saw something." He pulled the lip back up.

"What is that, a hole?" Dean asks noticing it as well, the then pressed on the gums around the hole and a sharp narrow tooth comes out. Oh my god! It's a vampire!

"It's a tooth." Sam said slightly confused.

"Sam, that's a fang. Retractable set of vampire fangs. You gotta be kidding me." I clarified.

"Well, this changes things."

"Ya think?" Dean added.

We quickly cleared out of the morgue before anyone actually did throw up and later that night headed to the bar to get some info. Vamps are night owls, if they're hanging out somewhere. This would be the place.

When we walked in I instantly notice someone eyeing us, but I don't make it obvious.

"How's it going?" Dean asked the bartender.

"Living the dream. What can I get for you?"

"Two beers, please."

"So, we're looking for some people." Sam mentions.

"Sure. Hard to be lonely."

"Yeah. But um, that's not what I meant." Sam said sliding him a fifty.

"Right. So these, these people, they would have moved here about six months ago, probably pretty rowdy, like to drink..." Sam went on, I noticed again we were being watched by the same guy. I nudged Dean. Without saying a word he knew exactly what I was trying to tell him. We had a way of communicating without having to give ourselves away. He nodded and we went back to paying attention to Sam and the bartender.

"Yeah, real night owls, you know? Sleep all day, party all night." I added with a smile.

"Barker farm got leased out a couple months ago. Real winners. They've been in here a lot - drinkers. Noisy. I've had to 86 them once or twice."

"Thanks." I smile and we quickly walk out without even finishing our drinks. When we walk out the door I noticed the man again, he was waiting for us to come out. I instinctively grabbed Sams arm and followed him and Dean closely as we rounded a couple of corners in the alley way, luring the guy in.

We finally get around the right corner and Dean pushes me furthest away from the edge, I pull my knife and wait for the right moment. The guy comes around the corner and Sam and Dean both grab him and hold him against the wall, I quickly made my move and pushed the blade against his neck.

"Smile." Dean demanded.

"What?" The man asks.

"Show us those pearly whites." I said with a sweet smile.

"Oh, for the love of - you want to stick that thing someplace else? I'm not a vampire." He said looking at me, I must have made a face.

"Yeah, that's right. I heard you guys in there."

"What do you know about vampires?" Sam asked.

"How to kill them. Now seriously doll. That knife's making me itch."

He made a move forward and I shoved the knife in harder as Dean readjusted his grip.

"Whoa. Easy there, doll" He said as he reached up and pulled back his lips, proving he wasn't a vamp. I slowly dropped the knife.

"Don't call me doll." I said taking a step back.

"Now. Who the hell are you?" Dean asked him.

He had us follow him to his car, when we got there he opened the trunk to reveal a variety of weapons. Shit. This guy is a hunter.

"The Winchesters. I can't believe it. You know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy. Great hunter. I heard he passed. I'm sorry. It's big shoes. But from what I hear you three fill 'em. Great trackers, good in a tight spot-"

"You seem to know a lot about our family." Dean quickly cut in.

"Word travels fast. You know how hunters talk."

"No, we don't, actually." I snarked.

"I guess there's a lot your dad never told you, huh?" He said speaking more to me then the boys… I didn't like this guy already.

"So, um, so those two vampires, they were yours, huh?" Sam asked.

"Yep. Been here two weeks."

"Did you check out that Barker farm?" Dean asked.

"It's a bust. Just a bunch of hippie freaks. Though they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone."

"Where's the nest, then?"

"I got this one covered. Look, don't get me wrong. It's a real pleasure meetin' you fellas. But I've been on this thing over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin, tracked the nest all the way up here. I'll finish it."

"We could help." Dean quickly offered. What the fuck… I don't wanna help this asshole.

"Thanks, but uh, I'm kind of a go-it-alone type of guy."

"Gee I wonder why…" I mumbled to myself.

"Come on, man, I"ve been itching for a hunt." Dean said slightly jumping on his feet.

"Sorry. But hey, I hear there's a Chupacabra two states over. You go ahead and knock yourselves out." He smiled and got in the car. I really don't like this fucker.

"It was real good meeting you, though. I'll buy you a drink on the flip side." He said through the window before pulling away.

"Well onto the next one then." I said walking back to the impala.

"No. We're following him. Get in the car now." Dean said.

"What?! Why?" I quickly asked.

"Cause I get the feeling he's gonna need help now move." He pushed me towards the car. I groaned but kept walking.

We followed the man named Gordon to a mill not far from the bar. We watched as he stalked the man I'm guessing to be a vampire, we hung back, well until the dumbass nearly got himself killed. Sam quickly grabbed him as Dean brutally killed the vampire with a table saw… the look in his eyes when he did it was something I'd never seen before. It startled me. I exchanged a quick glance with Sam. He saw it too… That wasn't Dean, not my Dean anyways.

"So uh, I guess I gotta buy you that drink." Gordon mumbles. Dean looks up and has blood splattered all over his face.

We quickly went back to the motel so Dean could clean up. He jumped in the shower and left me and Sam in the main part of the room.

"Sammy…"

"Yeah kiddo?"

"I gotta bad feeling about this guy, and what the hell was that with Dean?"

"I don't know Em, just hang close to me tonight alright? I don't want you sitting next to Gordon or anything."

"Fine by me."

Dean quickly showered and we headed back to the bar to meet Gordon.

"Four beers please" Gordon said as the waitress walked up.

"Um actually make one of those a root beer, thanks." I interrupted and smiled at her. When she walked away I noticed Gordon looking at me funny.

"I'm only 16 dude." I said with an attitude. It earned me an elbow to the side from Dean, I glared at him.

The waitress quickly came back with our drinks.

"No, no, I got it." Gordon said as he pulled out cash to pay the waitress.

"Come on." Dean said.

"I insist…Thank you, sweetie." He said to the waitress as she walked off. He then raised his beer.

"Another one bites the dust." He said.

"That's right." Dean toasted him, Sam and I didn't play along, but neither of them seemed to notice.

"Dean. You gave that big-ass fang one hell of a haircut, my friend." Gordon laughed.

"Thank you." Dean smiled.

"That was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful." Who the hell is this guy? Since when is decapitation a beautiful thing. I mean seriously? I looked over to Sam and he looked as disgusted by it all as I did.

"Yep. You all right, Sammy?" Dean asked.

"I'm fine."

"Well, lighten up a little, Sammy."

"We're the only ones who gets to call him that." I quickly added.

"Okay. No offense meant doll. Just celebrating a little. Job well done."

"Don't call me doll." I said glaring at him. Dean nudged me with his foot getting my attention and giving me a "what the hell is up with you" look. I rolled my eyes at him and scooted my chair closer to Sam.

"Right. Well, decapitations aren't my idea of a good time, I guess." Sam said.

"Oh, come one, man, it's not like it was human. You've gotta have a little more fun with your job."

"See? That's what I've been trying to tell him. You could learn a thing or two from this guy." Dean said pointing at Gordon.

"Yeah I bet I could. Look, I'm not gonna bring you guys down. I'm just gonna go back to the motel. Em you coming?"

"You sure?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah. You coming kiddo?" As much as I wanted to get away form Gordon something about leaving Dean alone with the guy bothered me even more.

"No but I'm going to get something from the car before you leave, I'll be right back Dean." I said standing up and walking with Sam.

"Sammy? Remind me to beat that buzzkill out of you later, all right?" Dean said tossing Sam the keys.

When we get to the car Sam stops before getting in.

"You sure you don't wanna leave with me? I know you can't stand the guy either."

"Yeah but I don't wanna leave Dean alone with him… somethings off. I just wanna kinda observe for a while. I've got my phone so I'll call if I need a ride."

"Alright kiddo… don't hesistate. I'll fly back, and please. Don't be alone with the guy, I don't trust him."

"Oh that's not gonna be a problem."

I hugged Sam and walked back inside, when I was approaching I came in on a conversation about Dean's first kill.

"... So. I pick up this crossbow. And I hit that ugly sucker with a silver-tipped arrow right in his heart. Sammy and Em are waiting in the car, and uh, me and my dad take the thing into the woods, burn it to a crisp. I'm sitting there and looking into the fire, and I'm thinking to myself, I'm sixteen years old. Most kids my age are worried about pimples, prom dates. I'm seeing things that they'll never even know. Never even dream of. So right then, I just sort of –"

"Embraced the life?" Gordon suggested as I sat back down.

"Yeah." Dean said.

"You sure you don't want a beer Em? One won't hurt you." Dean said turning to me. I looked at him shocked.

"Since when do you offer me beer?"

"Celebrations are special occasions. Most kids your age would jump on the offer." Gordon added as if it was any of his fucking business.

"You know I kinda swore off alcohol after my last drinking binge." I said coldy. Dean looked down at the table.

"I think I'm gonna shoot some pool." I said getting up and going to the closest pool table, so I could still eavesdrop. I racked and played slowly. Listening in on their conversation.

"Yeah. How'd you get started?" Dean asked Gordon.

"First time I saw a vampire I was barely eighteen. Home alone with my sister. I hear the window break in her room. I grab my dad's gun, run in, try to get it off her. Too late. So I shoot the damn thing. Which of course is about as useful as snapping it with a rubber band. It rushes me, picks me up, flings me across the room, knocks me out cold. When I wake up, the vampire's gone, my sister's gone."

"And then?"

"Then... try explaining that one to your family. So I left home. And then bummed around looking for information: how you track 'em, how you kill 'em. And I found that fang - it was my first kill."

"Sorry about your sister." Dean said sincerely.

"Yeah. She was beautiful. I can still see her, you know? The way she was. But hey, that was a long time ago. Better watch out for that one there, she seems like a spitfire. A real looker too. Sometimes that gets someone in more trouble with our job… hows she adjusting to life being so young?"

How dare he ask about me. Why is Dean even talking to this ass wipe. He's obviously playing at something… I don't trust him for a second.

"Yeah. I worry about her… try to be on her ass 24/7 but hey- teenagers man. She walks in a room and I have to stare down every guy in a ten foot radius. She's a good kid, she really is. But she's so damn stubborn. Wants to do so much on her own, wants to push her limits, we've had some close calls and near misses, but she's a damn good hunter. Hell she was a better shot at 13 then me or you are now. I'd bet my life on it."

Part of me wanted to feel proud, but the other part was pissed Dean was talking about me to Gordon.

"So your dad. That's gotta be rough man…"

"Yeah, you know. He was just one of those guys. Took some terrible beatings, just kept coming. So you're always thinking to yourself, he's indestructible. He'll always be around, nothing can kill my dad. Then just like that… he's gone. I can't talk about this to Sammy or Em. You know, I gotta keep my game face on. But, uh, the truth is I'm not handling it very well. Feel like I have this –"

"Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There's plenty out there needs killing, and this'll help you do it. Dean, it's not a crime to need your job."

Dean just nodded to him in response.

I felt ice run through my veins… but then it quickly turned to fire. How dare Gordon talk about my father- and what the hell was Dean doing talking to a stranger?! He won't talk to me or Sam… won't trust us with this, but he can tell it to Gordon of all people. I felt insane anger and jealousy. I was more than ready to leave.

I picked up my phone and called Sam… no answer. Shit.

I called again, and again. Nothing. Somethings wrong.

I reluctantly walked over to Dean.

"Sammy's not answering, somethings wrong. I'm calling a cab, we need to go. Now."

"Whoa whoa whoa… chill out kiddo." Dean said grabbing my arm as I spun to walk away.

"Dean did you just hear me?!"

"I'm sure he's just in the shower Em." Dean said to me as if it should be an obvious answer. I wanted to deck him.

"I can give you two a ride if you need." Gordon offered.

"No tha-" I started but was cut off by Dean.

"Yeah man I'd appreciate that, we can go sit in front of a map back at the motel and find this damn nest" Dean suggested. I rolled my eyes.

"Coming Doll?" Gordon said as he walked towards the door.

"Oh that is it…" I mumbled getting a running start towards him, but an arm quickly swung around my stomach and pulled me back.

"Hey! What the hell is your deal tonight kiddo? Chill out he's just being nice." Dean warned.

"Ugh! I can't even look at you right now Dean Winchester!" I huffed shoving his arm off of me and walking away.

"Me?! What the hell did I do?" I heard him ask from a distance as I stomped off. I quickly got in Gordons back seat and fumed the whole way back to the motel, when we got there I saw the impala. I quickly went in the door.

"Sam?! Sam.." I called looking around. Nothing. Oh no, where is he?! The last time he disappeared we all almost died.

Dean and Gordon sat at the table and pulled out a map as I stood at the open front door and called out for Sam.

"This is the best pattern I can establish. It's sketchy at best." Gordon says.

"Looks like it's all coming from this side of town. Which means the nest would be around here someplace, right?"

"Yep, that's what I'm thinking. Problem is, there's thirty-five, forty farms out there. I've searched about half of them already, but nothing yet. They're covering their tracks real good."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to search the other half."

"Dean are you gonna help me find our brother or are you gonna sit on your drunk ass all night?!" I snapped at him.

"Emily, that's enough. I'm sure he's fine. He probably went to grab a soda in the lobby or something."

"Dean I'm trying to tell you something is wrong!" I yelled.

"You're overreacting Em! You've had a stressful couple of months, your're on edge, just lay down and get some rest. Sam will be back by the time you wake up."

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?!"

"Car's parked outside. Probably went for a walk. Seems like the take-a-walk type." Gordon cut in.

"Oh who the fuck asked you!"

"EMILY! That's enough!" Dean yelled. We stared each other down and I opened my mouth to let the flood gates spill but then Sam stepped through the door.

"Sammy!" I said running to him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Where you been?" Dean asked him.

"Can I talk to you alone? You and Em." Sam said flatly.

"You mind chillin' out for a couple minutes?" Dean asked Gordon. He nodded and we walked out to the parking lot.

I kept my arm looped through Sam's. I was pissed at Dean and didn't want to walk near him, so I stayed on the opposite side. And when we stopped he moved to stand by me and I quickly switched sides again. He noticed and rolled his eyes.

"Dean, maybe we've got to rethink this hunt." Sam said.

"What are you talking about? Where were you?"

"In the nest."

"What?!" I asked quickly.

"You found it?" Dean asked right after me.

"They found me, man."

"How'd you get out? How many'd you kill?"

"None." Wait… what?

"Well Sam, they didn't just let you go."

"That's exactly what they did."

"All right, well, where is it?"

"I was blindfolded, I don't know."

"Well, you've got to know something." Dean pushed.

"He said he doesn't know Dean." I snapped earning another glare.

"I didn't ask you I asked Sam." He said back harshly.

"We went over that bridge outside of town, but Dean, listen. Maybe we shouldn't go after them."

"Why not?" Dean asked as if it was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard.

"I don't think they're like other vampires. I don't think they're killing people."

"You're joking. Then how do they stay alive? Or undead, or whatever the hell they are."

"The cattle mutilations. They said they live off of animal blood."

"And you believed them?" I asked sincerely.

"Look at me, Em. They let me go without a scratch."

"Wait, so you're saying... No, man, no way. I don't know why they let you go. I don't really care. We find 'em, we waste 'em." Dean said.

"Why?"

"What part of 'vampires' don't you understand, Sam? If it's supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our job."

"No, Dean, that is not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil!" Sam fought back. I kinda wanna sway with Dean, but I'm pissed to I'm backing Sammy 100%.

"Of course they're killing people, that's what they do. They're all the same, Sam. They're not human, okay? We have to exterminate every last one of them."

"No, Dean, I don't think so, all right? Not this time."

"Gordon's been on those vamps for a year, man, he knows."

"Gordon?" I asked sharply.

"Yes."

"You're taking his word for it?" I can't believe this shit.

"That's right."

"You know Dean if I didn't know any better I'd say me and Sammy needed to get another room so you and Gordon could have some butt buddy time tonight." I said sarcastically folding my arms across my chest and stepping up to Dean.

"Hey! I don't know what crawled up your ass tonight but I suggest you remove it before I do! I'm sick of this fucking attitude Emily!" He stepped forward, I know I had seriously pissed him off but I could give two shits less at the moment.

"Okay okay! Knock it off!" Sam said stepping between us.

"Ellen says he's bad news Dean." Sam then said.

"You called Ellen?" Sam nodded.

"And I'm supposed to listen to her? We barely know her, Sam, no thanks, I'll go with Gordon."

"Right, 'cause Gordon's such an old friend. You don't think I can see what this is?" Sam starts to get pissed as well.

"What are you talking about?"

"He's a substitute for Dad, isn't he? A poor one."

"Shut up, Sam." Dean said coldly.

"He's not even close, Dean. Not on his best day."

"You know what? I'm not even going to talk about this." Dean said as he turned to walk away.

"You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it, we both can. Because we know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory!"

"Okay." Dean said too calmly… shit. I can see it coming already.

Suddenly Dean turns away again, but quickly comes back and punches Sam.

"Dean!" I yelled shoving him and putting a hand on Sam's back as he bent over gathering himself.

Sam stood back up straight.

"You hit me all you want. It won't change anything."

"I'm going to that nest. You don't want to tell me where it is, fine. I'll find it myself."

"Dean?" Sam called out but he was stalking off.

"Sammy are you okay?" I asked trying to get a look at his cheek. It didn't break skin but it was gonna be a nasty bruise.

"Yeah kiddo I'm fine… are you? Seems like you two have been having it out all night."

"… I just. Want this night to be over."

"Me too Em. Come one, lets catch up to him before he does something stupid."

"He's hanging around Gordon… he's already done something stupid."

Sam chuckled.

"Gordon?" Dean called as he walked in and noticed the room was empty.

"You think he went after them?" Sam asked.

"Probably."

"Dean, we have to stop him."

"Really, Sam? Because I say we lend a hand."

"Just give me the benefit of the doubt, would you? You owe me that." Sam said sternly. Dean looked at him for a second.

"Yeah, we'll see. I'll drive. Give me the keys."

"He snaked the keys." I said pointing to the table where they were laying when we left the room.

"I can't believe this. I just fixed her up, too." Dean groaned as he hotwired baby.

"Still a fan of your new friend there Dean?" I asked sweetly as I could manage.

"Shut up!" he said as the car started. We headed down the road.

"So the bridge, is that, uh, is that all you got?" Dean asked Sam.

"The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm."

"How do you know?"

"I counted. They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right and we hit the bridge."

"You're good. You're a monster pain in the ass, but you're good." Dean told him. The rest of the ride was silent.

It didn't take us long to get to the farm, when we walked in Gordon had a vamp tied up, torturing her.

"Sam, Dean, Doll. Come on in."

"Hey, Gordon. What's going on?" Dean asked.

"Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man's blood. She's going to tell us where all her little friends are, aren't you? Wanna help?"

"Look, man –"

"Grab a knife. I was just about to start in on the fingers." He grabbed the knife and pulled it across the skin on her arms, I pulled my gun ready to blast his ass.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, let's all just chill out, huh?" Dean said talking more to Gordon than me.

"I'm completely chill." Gordon said.

"Gordon, put the knife down." Sam urged.

I took a few steps forward but Dean reached out a hand to stop me, I pushed it off.

"Sounds like it's Emily here who needs to chill."

"Just step away from her, all right?" Sam said calmly.

"You're right. I'm wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk. Might as well put her out of her misery." He pulled out a larger knife and held up to towards me.

"I just sharpened it, so it's completely humane." He said calmly as possible. This fucker is whacked out.

He turns toward Lenore and I quickly closed the space between me and Lenore, blocking his path.

"Emily what the hell!" Dean yelled.

"Gordon, I'm letting her go." I said viciously putting my gun in my waistband and reaching towards Lenore.

"You're not doing a damn thing." He said as he laid the large knife across my chest.

"Hey, hey, hey, Gordon, let's talk about this. Don't do anything rash here." Dean said as Sam pulled his gun and aimed it at Gordon.

"What's there to talk about? It's like I said, Dean. No shades of gray."

"Yeah. I hear ya. And I know how you feel."

"Do you?"

"That vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one..."

Gordon interrupted Dean's statement with a loud laugh, still holding the knife against my chest.

"Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn't kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down, and I killed her myself."

"You did what?" Dean asked shocked.

"It wasn't my sister anymore, it wasn't human. I didn't blink. And neither would you."

I looked up to Dean. He looked back at me, and I could tell he suddenly felt guilty about this whole night… I mouthed to him "I'm sorry." He nodded his head, "me too" he mouthed.

"So you knew all along, then? You knew about the vampires, you knew they weren't killing anyone. You knew about the cattle. And you just didn't care." Sam said.

"Care about what? A nest of vampires suddenly acting nice? Taking a little time out from sucking innocent people? And we're supposed to buy that? Trust me. Doesn't change what they are. And I can prove it." Gordon grabbed me by the arm and sliced it, then he put the knife against my neck and held my arm out near Lenore's mouth.

Dean quickly pulled his gun and Sam made a step forward.

"Let her go. Now!" Dean said with a murderous tone I very rarely hear.

"Relax. If I wanted to kill her she'd already be on the floor. Just making a little point."

He lowered my arm and blood dripped onto Lenore's face, she hissed and her fangs extended out. I flinched and struggled against Gordon to pull my arm back.

"Hey!" Dean yelled.

"I said let her go! Or I'll kill you with my bare hands."

"You think she's so different? Still want to save her? Look at her. They're all the same. Evil, bloodthirsty."

Lenore quickly controlled herself.

"No. No." She weakly mumbled.

"You hear her, Gordon?" Sam said.

Sam took two steps forward and reached for me, I quickly grabbed his hand and Gordon dropped the knife, Sam pulled me away from him and shoved me behind him.

"We're done here." Sam said.

"Sam, get Lenore out of here. Emily stand behind me." Dean called.

"Yeah." Sam agreed. I immediately went towards Dean. I stood behind him and he wrapped an arm around his back, pushing me closer to him. Sam picked up and carried out Lenore.

"Gordon, I think you and I've got some things to talk about." Dean said with his gun still raised. Gordon took steps to follow Sam.

"Get out of my way." He said.

"Sorry."

"You're not serious."

"I'm having a hard time believing it too, but I know what I saw. If you want those vampires, you gotta go through me."

"And me." I added with a smirk.

Gordon nodded his head up and down, then he slammed his knife into the table, Dean responded by dropping his mag out of the gun and laying it on the table beside him.

"Emily don't get involved." Dean warned me before stepping forward to Gordon.

"What are you doing, man? You doing this for a fang? Come on, Dean, we're on the same side here."

"I don't think so, you sadistic bastard."

They begin to fight, things seem pretty evened out at first. Gordon throws Dean against the wall.

"You're not like your brother and sister. You're a killer. Like me." Gordon grumbled to him. I stood watching impatiently, ready to pounce at any second.

Dean kicks Gordon and he falls, Dean picked him up slamming him against the wall, then he elbowed him in the face knocking him cold for a second. He pinned him under the elbow and walked him over to the chair he had Lenore tied up in, he was sure to slam his head into any obstacle near by. I chuckled.

"You know, I might be like you, and I might not. But you're the one tied up right now." Dean said.

Dean walked back over towards me and took his gun off the table, putting it back into his waistband. I glared at Gordon with a smile on my face.

"Let me see the arm." Dean said.

I held it out, "Just a scratch. I'll be fine." I said never taking my eyes off of Gordon.

He glared right back at me. Neither of us breaking eye contact.

"Don't give him the satisfaction Em. He's not worth it, come on. Lets wait for Sam over here." Dean led me to the other end of the room where Gordon couldn't see us.

"I'm sorry kiddo…" Dean said as we both slid down and sat against the wall.

"Me too De."

"No no… you shouldn't be. You were right. Gordon was off, Sam was missing, I was just had my head up my ass I guess."

"Still I said some pretty fucked up things too." I said with a half smile.

"Yeah well we all know not to hold angry Emily's word against her by now." He smiled back.

"Dean. I heard you talking to Gordon… why can't you talk to me about Dad. I don't get it…"

Dean sighed.

"Kiddo, this has been so hard on you already. I didn't want to add more to your plate."

"Dean you're not adding anything to my plate. You do so much for me, and Sammy. The least we could do is be there for you when you need to talk. Its not like I'm going to think anything less of you… You're still going to be my pain in the ass big brother who could out stubborn a mule." I said with a grin.

He smiled sadly.

"I know kiddo."

"Did I miss anything?" Sam asked as he walked through the door an hour or so later.

"Nah, not much. Lenore get out okay?" Dean said walking over towards Gordon again, me and Sam followed.

"Yeah. All of 'em did." Sam said glaring at Gordon.

"Then I guess our work here is done. How you doin', Gordy? Gotta tinkle yet? All right. Well, get comfy. We'll call someone in two or three days, have them come out, untie you."

"Ready to go, Em?" Sam asked me.

"Almost…" I walked over towards Gordon. Dean got his fight in, but I never got mine.

I walked over and leaned down to where I was face to face with Gordon.

"I told you not to call me doll." I said with fake sympathy. I quickly reached back and punched him with enough force to knock him and the chair over to the floor.

"Okay. Now I'm good." I smiled walking back towards my two grinning brothers.

We were getting back to the car when Dean suddenly gets in a boxer stance.

"Sam? Clock me one." He says.

"What?"

"Come on. I won't even hit you back. Let's go."

"No."

"Let's go, you get a freebie. Hit me, come on."

"You look like you just went twelve rounds with a block of cement, Dean. I'll take a raincheck."

"I'll take it." I said before turning and punching Dean square in the nose with no warning.

"Ah! Shit!" He said leaning over letting the blood drip onto the ground.

"Well I almost feel bad…" I said.

"Yeah yeah yeah… get your ass in the car." He mumbled standing up and wiping his nose, it only bled for like 2 seconds. I didn't even hit that hard.

"Damn kiddo… remind me not to piss you off again." Dean said as we walked over to Baby.

"I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up." Dean continued.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked him.

"Think about all the hunts we went on, our whole lives."

"Okay.." I added confused.

"What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us..."

"Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could." Sam said.

"I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it."

"You didn't kill Lenore." I said.

"No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all."

"Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters." Sam said.

"Yeah. Well, 'cause you're a pain in my ass."

"Guess I might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then." Sam laughed.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. Besides even if I wasn't here you'd still have that pain in the ass back there." Sam said throwing something at me.

"Oh it is so on." I said reaching for my box of nerds.


	25. Chapter 25

Author's note: Thanks for all the love guys! Please keep reviewing! I love them!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Come on, Sam, I'm begging you. This is stupid." Dean argued from the front seat, I was trying to sleep but that's not going to happen now.

"Why?" Sam asked him.

"Going to visit Mom's grave? She doesn't even have a grave - there, there was no body left after the fire."

"She has a headstone."

"Yeah, put up by her uncle, a man we've never even met. So you wanna, go pay your respects to a slab of granite put up by a stranger?"

"Dean, that's not the point."

"Well then, enlighten me, Sam."

"It's not about a body, or, or, a casket. It's about her memory, okay?"

"Hmmm."

"And after Dad it just... just feels like the right thing to do."

This kinda struck a pang in my chest. I really didn't care one way or another if we came. It was important to Sam. So for him I'd happily go, but for Dean it made no sense. I tried to stay out of it, but I feel like Sam may need some back up.

"It's irrational, is what it is." Dean continued, I flung up from laying down in the backseat.

"Dean that's enough. We are going. You don't have to get out of the car, you don't have to be involved, but this is something that Sam and I want to do. So lay off." I said.

Both of them turned to look at me shocked. Then just as quickly they turned back around, the rest of the ride was silent.

When we pulled up to the grave yard I noticed some wild flowers along the gate.

"Hey Sam… I'll catch up in a minute." I hollered. Sam continued to walk towards Mom's grave. I picked a handful of flowers and walked up to Dean.

"You know you could go over there too."

"Emily… I'm here. Don't push your luck."

"Dean, I'm not here for just Mom. I agree. I don't get it, why have a grave and no body. Okay? So I know how you feel. But I'm here for Sammy. This means more to him than it does for me to argue against it, so go or don't go. I don't care, but don't turn this into an argument. Please."

He looked at me as if I'd made him feel slightly guilty, not quite my intention but then he pulled me into a hug.

"You're right kiddo. You go. I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay." I said kissing his cheek and walking to Sam. When I got up to him he was kneeling down burying something in the ground right in front of mom's grave.

"I think, um ... I think Dad would have wanted you to have these. I love you, Mom." He sniffled.

I slowly leaned down next to him and laid the flowers on the ground right in front of grave. Sam and I stood. I wrapped my arms around his waist and we stood there, him for Mom- me for him.

"I love you Sammy."

"I love you too Em. Thank you. For backing me up. I don't deserve it after all I put you through…"

"Sammy don't. Its behind us, we've been through too much between then and now for that to be an issue anymore. You came back. You're still here. You where there for me when I needed you. Its my turn to be there for you."

"Thanks kiddo." He smiled.

"Should we go over and see what he's looking at?" I asked nodding towards Dean.

"Yeah. Lets go."

"Angela Mason. She was a student at the local college; funeral was three days ago." Dean said when we got to him.

"And?" I asked.

"And? You saw her grave. Everything dead around it, in a perfect circle? You don't think that's a little weird?"

"Maybe the groundskeeper went a little agro with the pesticide." I suggested.

"No, I asked him. No pesticide, no chemicals. Nobody can explain it."

"Okay, so what are you thinking?"

"I dunno. Unholy ground, maybe?"

"Oh geez Dean… come on."

"What? If something evil happened there, it could easily poison the ground. Remember the, the farm outside of Cedar Rapids?"

"Dean do you honestly think this is a case?"

"Could be the sign of a demonic presence. Or the, the Angela girl's spirit, if it's powerful enough."

Sam shook his head and started walking towards the car. Dean and I followed.

"Well don't get too excited, don't wanna pull a muscle."

"It's just... stumbling onto a hunt? Here, of all places?" Sam said.

"So?"

"So - are you sure this is about a hunt, and not about something else?"

"What else would it be about?"

"You know, just forget about it." Sam sighed.

"You believe what you want, Sam, but - I let you drag my ass out here, the least we could do is check this out."

"Yeah. Fine."

"Girl's dad works in town. He's a professor at the school."

"Well lets get to it then." I said getting back in the impala.

We were on our way to the school when we passed a tattoo shop in town, I had been wanting one for a while now. Dean of course shot down the idea over and over and over again. As did Dad. But now that Daddy is gone. I want to get one for him… for him and Mom.

"Hey do you two mind dropping me at the motel first? I'm just not feeling great. Not sleeping is taking its toll on me… I wanna try and get in a nap." Dean knows that I'm having less and less nightmares, but I'm still having problems sleeping through the night.

"Yeah sure kiddo. We're just gonna ask around a little anyways."

"Thanks De."

The boys dropped me off and I got us a room, luckily we're only a mile or so from the shop in town I was eyeing. I waited for the boys to leave and then quickly headed that way.

When I walked in I found a young guy covered in ink, neck down to finger tips, I would say down to his toes but his designer jeans and converse covered them up. He was cute. He had shoulder length brown hair, big blue gentle eyes, and gages in his ears. I walked up and he smiled at me.

"Hi, I'm Tyler. what can I do for you."

"I wanna get a tattoo."

"Well I figured, it doesn't say sandwiches on the front of the door." He smiled sarcastically. I giggled.

"Um, I want to get one for my parents… I lost my Mom as a baby, and my Dad just died. I want something for them."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Lets find something for you. Come on back." He said leading me to his workstation.

"So tell me your name sweetheart."

"Emily. Emily Winchester."

"Winchester huh? Like the gun?" He asked.

"Yep." I smiled.

"Well. That could be something we could work with." He suggested.

"Yeah. Actually that would be awesome."

"What about you parents, what were their names?"

"John and Mary." I said quietly giving him a sad smile.

"Tell me a little about them."

"Well, my dad was a marine, a hunter, a real hard ass. My mom… she uh, she's kind of a mystery. I just know she was beautiful."

"Okay. Well I'll tell you what Emily, give me a few hours to draw you something up, then we can get to work."

"A few hours?" Shit. Dean and Sam would be back by then.

"Yeah, good work takes time."

"Right… Umm. Is there anyway I could come back later tonight maybe? I'm supposed to be somewhere in a couple hours."

"Sure. Come back by anytime tonight. I don't have any appointments so I'll have it ready for you when you get here."

"Thanks" I smiled getting up.

"Hey wait up a sec, where you thinking of putting this thing?"

"Um, somewhere hidden. I have this older brother who would flip shit if he found out."

"Okay, well… We can go upper thigh? Its usually hidden pretty well." He suggested. I thought about it. My shorts can get kinda short sometimes. He'll see it.

"How far up can we go? Can we go where my underwear runs along my hip?"

"Whatever you want."

"Okay, well I'll be back tonight then."

"See you then Emily." He smiled and I walked back to the room. Trying to figure out how I was going to sneak out again tonight.

I got back to the room and did lay down for a nap, I really have been tired lately. When I came too the boys were back and their voices were loud.

"I'm telling you, there's something going on here. We just haven't found it yet." Dean demanded.

"Dean, so far you've got a patch of dead grass and nothing."

"Well, something turned that grave into unholy ground."

"There's no reason for it to be unholy ground. Angela Mason was a nice girl who died in a car crash. That's not exactly vengeful spirit material. You heard her father."

"Car crash huh?" I asked sitting up.

"Morning sunshine. Feel better?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. So I'm guessing you didn't find much on the girl."

"Yeah, well, maybe Daddy doesn't know everything there is to know about his little angel, huh?" Dean argued.

"You know what? We never should have bothered that poor man. We shouldn't even be here anymore." Shit. We can't leave yet. I got plans for tonight.

"So what, Sam? What, we just bail? Without even figuring out what's going on?"

"Sam why don't we just stay for a little longer, let Dean do some more digging." I tried to suggest getting up and walking to sit with them. They had picked up food and Dean slid me my chicken strips.

"I think I know what's going on here. It's the only reason I went along with you this far." Sam says ignoring me.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"This is about Mom's grave."

"That's got nothing to do with it." Dean scoffed.

"You wouldn't step within a hundred yards of it. Look. Maybe you're imagining a hunt where there isn't one so you don't have to think about Mom. Or Dad."

"Sammy… please stop." I said. Dean just looked at him coldly.

"You wanna take another swing? Go ahead, if it'll make you feel better." Sam said to him.

"I don't need this crap." Dean said standing up.

"Dean, where're you going?" I asked him.

"I'm going to go get a drink. Alone." Perfect! This is my chance to get away clean.

Dean walked out the door slamming it behind him. I looked at Sam and shook my head taking another bite of chicken.

"Don't look at me like that." He said.

"Sam. Let him have this one… why push him?"

"Em you know what this is! Him avoiding dealing with Dad. You're fine with just letting him do this forever?"

"No. I'm not. But he has to say something when he's ready… not until then. Pissing him off along the way doesn't do any of us any good."

"Yeah… okay. I'm going to bed. You coming?"

"No. I'm going to go catch up to him… keep an eye on him."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"I'll be fine. He's mad at you not me." I said with a wink as I got up and got dressed to go out again.

I quickly made my way back to the tattoo shop.

"Well hey there Emily." Tyler said with a smile when I walked in.

"Tyler." I smiled back.

"You ready to see it?"

"Nervous, but ready!"

"Oh they don't hurt that bad." He said walking me back.

"Oh the pain doesn't worry me, I just want it to be perfect."

"Well I'm pretty confident you'll like it."

We sat down at his station and he turned and grabbed a paper.

"Close your eyes." He said.

"Okay." I said laughing, closing my eyes.

"Alright, what do you think?"

When I opened my eyes the paper in front of me took my breath away. It was two beautiful antique revolvers that crossed at the tip. One had the Marine's symbol on it, the other had roses. Dad's had J.W. and Mom's had M.W. along the barrel.

"Tyler… its amazing." I said as my eyes began to water.

"Whoa now, no crying in this shop." He said sweetly handing me a tissue.

"I'm sorry… I just. Its been a rough couple of months, this just… makes it seem like I'm finally getting to put it behind me. Thank you for this."

"Well don't thank me just yet, lets get this thing in your skin. Then you can thank me."

It took Tyler 3 hours to finish the tattoo. It sits on my hip right where my underwear runs so that Dean or Sam wouldn't see it. It limits my option in bikini bottoms but I wasn't planning on wearing a bikini with my new scar anyways. It will be covered in my shorts and pants, so I should be in the clear.

"Wow. That's just… beautiful." I said standing and looking in the mirror.

"Yeah. It looks good on you Emily."

I turned and hugged him. Then I kissed him on the cheek.

"Really. Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"It was a pleasure, its nice to tattoo someone who can handle the pain. You sat like a rock, especially for your first one."

"Yeah well, I guess I have a high pain tolerance." Not really. But compared to be stabbed that was pretty easy.

"Okay well remember to wash it, keep it clean, and keep the ointment on it for the first couple of weeks. You can take that bandage off in a couple of hours. Try not to let it get too wet in the shower for the next week or so."

"That'll be an interesting challenge." I laughed, he did too. I looked at the clock and decided I'd better get going.

When I got back to the room, Sam was passed out and Dean was still gone. YES! That could not have worked out more perfectly for me. I quietly walked into the bathroom and got changed. I lowered my shorts and took off the bandage, cleaning the tattoo and placing a thin layer of ointment on it before crawling into Sam's bed. He didn't wake up, but he did manage to turn and swing an arm over me. I swear. Him and Dean both do this. Its like even subconsciously they're protective. His damn arm is so big and heavy, but I didn't want to wake him. I adjusted under it so I could still effectively breathe, then I quickly drifted off to sleep.

"Em. Emily wake up." Sam shook me lightly.

"Mmmm Noooo." I groaned pulling the covers up over my head.

"Emily." Sam laughed.

"Nooo. 5 more minutes."

"Come on kiddo you've been out all morning. We gotta job for you."

"Really?" I asked uncovering my head. "What time is it?!"

"Almost 11. You were out kiddo." I heard Dean say.

"I haven't slept that long in weeks…" I said sitting up and stretching.

"Yeah well I guess you needed it. You feel better?"

"Yeah. I feel great actually." Not that I could say it outloud. But I feel like my fresh piece of art really brought me some closure, I mean we've still gotta hunt down this demon before we can really lay this thing to rest. But I feel like I'm finally getting past losing Daddy.

"Good. Cause you're up." Dean said smiling.

I was walking up to the door in the apartment building, praying Angela's roommate was gone. Dean swiped her keys at some point yesterday and is sending me to dig around, says I'm somehow less conspicuous.

I walked up and put the key in the lock and turned it a few times before a girl behind me made me jump.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Whoa whoa whoa.. Its uh.. Its not what it looks like."

"Are you trying to break into my apartment?"

"No! No, you must be angela's roommate! I'm her cousin… Anna."

"I've never heard of you." She said crossing her arms.

"Well her dad sent me over to get a few of her things, how else would I have her key." I said holding it up.

The roommate named Lindsey walked me in and sat down on the couch and began crying, I walked over and sat next to her handing her a tissue.

"So. I'm sure you got a, a view of Angela that none of the family got to see. Tell me, what, what was she like? I mean, what was she really like?"

"She was great."

"Hmm."

"Just great. I mean, she was so... so..."

"Great."

"Yeah. Yeah." She cried.

"Yeah."

"Here you go. You two must have been really close, huh?" I asked handing her another tissue.

"We were. But it's not just her, it's Matt."

"Who?"

"Angela's boyfriend."

"Right, Matt. What about him?"

"He killed himself last night. He cut his own throat. Who does that?"

"That's - terrible."

"He was taking Angela's death pretty hard, and I guess... I mean, he'd been messed up about it for days."

"Messed up how?" I asked slowly putting a few pieces together. Maybe Dean is right.

"He kept saying that he saw her everywhere."

"Well, I'm, I'm sure that that's normal, I mean with everything that he was going through."

"No, he said that he SAW her. As in, an acid trip or something." More like a ghost sweetheart.

"Were Angela and Matt a happy couple? I mean, is there any reason that Angela would be angry with him?"

"What? No, of course not, why do you ask?"

"Just asking. Where did Matt live?"

I finished gathering my information and jumped into the impala in the parking lot where Dean was waiting for me.

"Okay De. I'm about to make your day."

"Oh yeah? Why's that."

"Angela's boyfriend claims he's been seeing her, like actually seeing her. For days now… last night he "slit his own throat", sounds like some vengeful spirit shit if I've ever heard one." I said.

"Ha. Sammy's gonna love this!" Dean said as he peeled out of the lot.

When we got back to the room Dean barged through the door, me behind him. Sam nervously jumped up and fidgeted to shut off the TV.

"Oh Sam. Really?! Geez I thought Dean was the only brother I had to worry about walking in on…" I said hiding my face behind my hand.

"I uh. Um." Sam stuttered.

"Awkward." Dean said.

"So what did we find?" Sam asked quickly trying to change the subject.

"Well, you were right, I didn't find much." Dean said. Sam shook his head sympathetically. I tried not to smirk.

"Yeah. Except Angela's boyfriend died last night. Slit his own throat. But, you know, that's normal. Uh, let's see, what else. Oh, he was seeing Angela everywhere before he died. But you know, I'm sure that's just me transferring my own feelings." Dean then continued on nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, I get it. I'm sorry, maybe there is something going on here." Sam admitted.

"Maybe? Sam, I know how to do my job, despite what you might think."

"We should check out the guy's apartment."

"We just came from there. Pile of dead plants, just like the cemetery. Hell, dead goldfish too."

"So, unholy ground?"

"Maybe. I'm still not getting that powerful angry spirit vibe from Angela… I have been reading this, though." Dean said looking at the diary I swiped from Angela's.

"You stole the girl's diary?"

"No of course not, I sent Em to do it." Dean said with a smile.

"So. If anything the girl's a little too nice." Dean continued.

"So what do you want to do?"

"Keep digging, talk to more of her friends."

"You get any names?"

"Are you kidding me? I have her bestest friend in the whole wide world." Dean held up the diary.

Dean spent that night digging through her diary, insisting on reading some of it out loud when he found it amusing. What an ass. Me and Sam sat on the bed and ate our Chinese while we watched Jurassic Park. I love this movie. Alan Grant is hot for an old guy.

"Alright… looks like Neil is her best friend. Poor guy sounds like he's in the forever friend zone. I say we go check him out tomorrow." Dean said putting the diary away for the night.

"Sounds good to me." I said climbing into the bed while Dean got up to shower.

I was laying in bed almost asleep when he plopped down next to me, waking me up.

"Dammit De." I grumbled.

"Oh come on you got tons of sleep last night. You can't be that tired." He said poking me to irritate me more.

"Dean Winchester I swear on everything that is still holy ground In this town if you poke me one more time you're waking up with only 9 fingers." I threatened. He laughed.

"Okay okay… party pooper." He mumbled.

"So no more nightmares?" He asked me quietly after a few seconds. I turned over to face him.

"No actually…I don't know what it was about sleeping alone that made them so bad. But you and Sammy seem to keep them away. I finally feel like I can sleep now."

"Good. You need it. I was getting worried I might have to start sneaking you sleeping pills again."

"What?! When did you sneak me sleeping pills?" I asked wide eyes.

"When dad first disappeared. You weren't sleeping and I know you thought you could hide it but you should have known better than that. So I would sneak pills in your drink at dinner. " He said matter of factly.

"De I can't believe you were drugging me." I laughed, pushing his arm.

"Yeah well. Sometimes I gotta do what I gotta do to take care of your stubborn ass. You would have shot me down if I asked you take them on your own."

"Yeah. You're probably right." I sighed.

"De… I miss him." I whispered.

"Me too Kiddo. Every day." He whispered back.

I curled into his side and he wrapped an arm around me, I was asleep in minutes.

The next day the boys went to check out Neil. I offered to stay and clean weapons. Its been a while since I've had some time where I was alone, No Bobby, no Dean, no Sam. Just me and the weapons I offered to clean. I knew the boys would be gone for at least a few hours.

I decided it was a good time to take a hot shower, I would have opted for a hot bath but the tattoo can't be submerged under water for at least two weeks. It's healing beautifully. It itches a little, but Tyler said that's a sign of good healing. Its beautiful. I can stand in the mirror and stare at it for hours. Seeing their initials together, it makes me wonder if they're together now. Makes me wonder if they're in heaven. I enjoyed my long hot shower and got dressed comfortably.

The weapons filled the table in the kitchen area and I turned on some music to sing along to while I cleaned.

I was singing along to Skynrd when I realized this was the first time I've sung at all since Daddy died. The last time I sang was on stage, he was there. I wish I had told him sooner, I wish he could have seen more shows. I wish I could hug him one more time, smell that whiskey and cologne scent on his chest. Hear his heartbeat. It aches… my heart. I feel like part of it fell off, and I'll never get it back again. Dean and Sam have been so good to me. Especially after my little stunt, they've let me talk, let me cry, let me scream, let me be a bitch. Poor boys. I know Sam is dealing… but Dean. He's trying to shove past it without actually having to look it in the eye. Its like he's hiding something from us.

"Hey kiddo." Sam said as the door swung open.

"Hey. So. What do we have on Neil?"

"Eh. I think he's harmless. We're gonna go burn some bones tonight. You in?"

"As long as you two are digging I'm there." I smiled.

"Well since you did take weapon duty I guess that's fair." Dean said sitting down and inspecting my work.

That night we quickly and quietly made our way over to Angela's grave. I didn't miss it when Dean kept popping his eyes over in the direction of where Mom's grave is. But I didn't say anything… Instead I just watched.

I hear them strike something solid and walked over with the salt and gas in my hands. I watched as they popped open the casket.

"What in the hell…" I mumbled. Looking down at the empty grave.

"They buried the body four days ago." Dean said puzzled.

"I don't get it." Sam mumbled. He took his flashlight and pointed out something on the inside of the coffin.

"What is that?" I asked.

"I'm not sure."

"I've seen these kind of symbols before… Guess we're going to have another chat with dear old dad tomorrow." Dean said.

"Dean… slow down." I said as I tried to catch up to his and Sam's long strides as we approached Dr. Mason's office building.

Dean began banging on the door.

"Dean. Take it easy, okay?" Sam said.

"You're Angie's friends, right?" Dr. Mason said as he opened the door.

"Dr. Mason..." Sam tried but he was quickly cut off by a very harsh Dean.

"We need to talk."

"Well, then, come in." He offered. Shit. I have a feeling this isn't going to be pretty.

"Thanks." I said with a smile. Trying to make up for Dean's rudeness.

"You teach Ancient Greek. Tell me -what are these?" Dean asked as he showed him a crumpled paper with the symbols from the grave.

"I don't understand. You said this had something to do with Angela."

"It does. Please, just humor me."

"They're part of an ancient Greek divination ritual."

"Used for necromancy, right?"

"That's right."

"See, before we came over here we stopped by the library and did a little homework ourselves. Apparently they used rituals like this one for communicating with the dead. Even bringing corpses back to life. Full-on zombie action." Dean said irritated.

"Dean…" I warned, trying to get him to calm down some.

"Yes. I mean, according to the legends. Now, what's all this about?"

"I think you know."

"Dean." Sam said trying to get his attention. I can see the doubt in his eyes. He doesn't think this guy did it… and I'm starting to agree. The poor man's face looks distraught.

"Look, I get it. Okay? There are people that I would give anything to see again. But what gives you the right?" Dean started."

"Dean!" I said but he ignored me again.

"What are you talking about?" Dr. Mason asked shocked.

"What's dead should stay dead!" Dean yelled at him.

"What?!"

"Stop it!" Sam yelled to Dean.

"What you brought back isn't even your daughter anymore. These things are vicious, they're violent, they're so nasty they rot the ground around them. I mean, come on, haven't you seen Pet Cemetery?" Dean egged on as Sam stood in front of him pushing him away from Dr. Mason.

"You're insane." Dr. Mason said with a look of pure pain on his face. Shit. We've got the wrong guy…

"Where is she?" Dean yelled.

"Dean! Stop! Its not him!" I said pushing him with Sam.

"Get out of my house." Dr mason yells reaching for a phone, Dean gets past Sam and me and slaps the phone out of his hand.

"I know you're hiding her somewhere. Where is she?!" He yelled in his face.

"Dean! Stop, that's enough! Dean, look!" Sam said grabbing him by the jacket and shaking him.

"Beautiful, living plants." He pointed out…I turned to Dr. Mason as Sam pushed Dean out the door.

"I'm so sorry… We're leaving." I said before turning to walk out.

"What the hell is the matter with you, Dean?" Sam asked as I struggled to keep up with them as Dean stormed off down the sidewalk.

"Back off."

"That man is innocent! He didn't deserve that!"

"Okay, so she's not here, maybe he's keeping her somewhere else."

"Stop it! That's enough, okay? Enough!"

"Sam, I know what I'm doing."

"No, you don't. At all. Dean, I don't scare easy, but man, you're scaring the crap out of me."

"Don't be overdramatic, Sam."

"You're lucky this turned out to be a real case. Because if it wasn't you would have just found something else to kill."

"Wha-"

"You're on edge, you're erratic - except for when you're hunting, because then you're downright scary. You're tailspinning, man. And you refuse to talk about it and you won't let us help you." Sam said stepping in front of Dean stopping him. Thank god for that. I can finally catch my breath.

"I can take care of myself, thanks."

"No, you can't. And you know what? You're the only one who thinks you should have to. You don't have to handle this on your own, Dean, no one can."

"Sam, if you bring up Dad's death one more time I swear..."

"Stop. Please, Dean, it's killing you. Please. We've already lost Dad. We've lost Mom. I've lost Jessica. And now I'm going to lose you too?"

"We better get out of here before the cops come." Was all Dean could respond. Sam frowned.

"I hear you. Okay? Yeah, I'm being an ass. And I'm sorry. But right now we've got a friggin' zombie running around, and we need to figure out how to kill it."

Sam and I both laughed a little.

"Right?" Dean asked.

"Our lives are weird, man." Sam chuckled.

"You're telling me? Come on. Em jump on sasquatches back if you can't keep up." Dean said taking off again.

"Oh shut up!" I mumbled jogging to catch up to them.

That night we decided it was best to sit down and dig into how to kill the bitch before going to find her again.

"We can't just waste it with a head shot?" Dean asked.

"Dude. You've been watching way too many Romero flicks." Sam said. I laughed.

"You're telling me there's no lore on how to smoke 'em?"

"No, Dean, I'm telling you there's too much. I mean, there's a hundred different legends on the walking dead, but they all have different methods for killing them. Some say - setting them on fire, uh, one said, where is it? Right here. Feeding their hearts to wild dogs. That's my personal favorite. I mean, who knows what's real and what's myth?"

"Well I don't know about you two but I'm not exactly jumping to feed the local shelter special puppy chow. I vote we start with a headshot and see what happens. Or decapitate the bitch. Just to be safe." I added.

"Oh kiddo. You're too much like me sometimes. Is there anything they all have in common?" Dean asked.

"No. But a few said silver might work." Sam replied.

"Silver's a start."

"Yeah. But now how are we going to find Angela?" I asked.

"We've got to figure out the person who brought her back."

"Any ideas?" Sam asked us.

"I think if it's not her dad it might be that guy Neil." Dean said.

"Neil?" Sam and I asked simultaneously.

"Yep. And please. Don't do that again."

"How'd you come up with that?" Sam asked him.

"Well, you've got your journal, I've got mine. "Neil's a real shoulder to cry on, he so understands what I'm going through with Matt." There's more in here where that came from. It's got Unrequited Ducky Love written all over it." Dean said reading out of the girl's diary.

"And how would you know what unrequited love looked like? You've never heard the word no from a girl." I said rolling my eyes.

"Hey. Can't blame that on me. Its just the Winchester genes."

"Yeah okay well then don't get upset when my jeans show off my Winchester genes." I said smiling.

"Not gonna happen short stop. I'm just saying. Neil had a thing for the girl."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean he brought her back from the dead." Sam said.

"Hmm. Did I mention he's Professor Mason's TA? Has access to all the same books."

"Okay, well then let me get on some jeans and we'll head out." I said standing up.

"I think sweatpants are just fine for this one." Dean said not bothering to look up.

"Dean. These things are baggy as hell. I won't be able to run in them."

"You don't need to run."

"Dean!" I laughed.

"What?" He smiled innocently.

I shook my head and got dressed.

"Hello? Neil?! It's your grief counselors - we've come to hug." Dean said knocking on the door. He pulls out a gun and checks his mag.

"Silver bullets?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, enough to make her rattle like a change purse."

No answer, so I picked the lock and we started to walk around.

"Hey. Check this out." I grabbed the attention of the boys and pointed towards the basement door with the large padlock on it.

"Unless it's where he keeps his porn..." Dean mentioned.

"Dean… seriously? Not everything revolves around porn." I mumbled as Sam opened the door and I followed them down the stairs.

"Sure looks like a zombie pen to me." Dean said as we observed the basement.

"Yeah. An empty one. You think Angela's going after somebody?" Sam asked.

"Nah, I think she went out to rent Beaches." I said as I reached down and moved the loose grate showing where she must have escaped.

"Look, smartass, she might kill someone. We gotta find her." Sam said getting his panties in a knot.

"Yeah. All right. She, uh, she clipped Matt because he was cheating, right?" Dean asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, it takes two to, you know, have hardcore sex."

"I might have an idea on who…" I said remembering my conversation with Lindsey. "I don't know, it just seemed that, uh, Angela's roommate was broken up over Matt's death. I mean, like, really broken up."

We quickly made our way over to Angela's apartment and got there in time to save Lindsey from being stabbed to death by her dead but not dead roommate. Then we flew back to Neil's to see if the bitch came back home after her little night out.

"So the silver bullets, they did something, right?" Sam asked reading out of Dad's journal as Dean drove down the road. I took my place in the middle loading all of us back up with silver bullets.

"Yeah, something, but not enough. What else you got?" Dean asked.

"Um, okay, besides silver, we have ... nailing the undead back into their gravebeds. It's mentioned a few times. It's probably where the whole vampire staking lore came from."

"Their gravebeds? You serious?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"How the hell are we going to get Angela back to the cemetery?"

"Live bait?" Dean suggested as we pulled up to Neils.

We didn't bother to knock and barged into his office.

"What are you guys doing here?" He asked, he seemed shaken up.

"You know, I've heard of people doing some pretty desperate things to get laid, but you - you take the cake." Dean said nonchalantly.

"Okay. Who are you guys?"

"You might want to ask Angela that question."

"What?"

"We know what you did. The ritual? Everything." Sam added.

"You're crazy." Neil scoffed. But I can see the fear in his eyes. He knows he's busted.

"Your girlfriend's past her expiration date and we're crazy? When someone's gone they should stay gone. You don't mess with that kind of stuff." Dean said a little harshly.

"Angela killed Matt. She tried to kill Lindsey." I explained.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Neil said, but Dean flew over to him and shoved him against the wall by his collar.

"Hey! No more crap, Neil. His blood is on your hands. Now. We can make this right, but you've gotta tell us where she is. Tell us!"

"My house. She's at my house." Neil squirmed. Dean dropped him, then looked at the dead plants in the window. Shit. She's here.

"You sure about that?" I asked. He looked around nervously and stopped on the closet. Like that's not a dead giveaway.

"Listen. It doesn't really matter where she is. There's only one way to stop her. We've got to perform another ritual over her grave, to reverse the one that you did. We're going to need some black root, some, some scar weed, some candles... It's very complicated, but it'll get the job done. She'll be dead again in a couple hours. I think you should come with us." Dean pushed. "I'm serious, Neil. Leave with us. Right now."

"No. No." Neil mumbled. Dean leaned in and lowered his voice, I could barely hear him.

"Listen to me. Get out of here as soon as you can. But most of all, be cool. No sudden movements. Don't make her mad."

"Lets go." He said turning to me and Sam.

"Dean… she's going to kill him. We can't just leave him here." I said as we got back outside.

"Em. We tried. He wouldn't come. If we pushed any harder it would have blown the whole thing… she's gonna come for us. We gotta be ready. Now go."

"But D-"

"Go! Now!" He said pointing at the car.

I huffed but started walking. Sam swung an arm around me but I shrugged it off and slammed the door as I got in the backseat. That poor sap is dead. We could save him… he could mean something to someone. Someone's going to to miss him. Someone's world is going to fall apart without him… and we're just going to let him die.

Dean flew to the cemetery and we started to dig up her grave.

"You really think this is going to work?" Sam asked.

"No, not really. But it was the only thing I could come up with." Dean says, we hear a noise in the distance. Sam goes to bait her in and leaves me and Dean by the grave.

"Kiddo… you good?" Dean asked me.

"No. Dean. I'm not. We just let that guy die."

"Emily. Don't do that to yourself… we tried."

"Yeah well not hard enough Dean! He's dead right now."

"You don't know tha-"

"Yes I do! We both do… We just let it happen. Now shut up, we've got a job to do." I said looking away from him.

Minutes later Sam comes running towards the grave with an angry Angela behind him, I hid behind a tombstone and waited in place as Dean grabbed the stake. Sam led her to the grave and she hit him and knocked him into a tombstone, I ran up behind her and shoved her into her grave. Dean jumped in.

"Wait, don't!" She screamed as Dean drove the steak through her chest… he dug it in deeper. Angela went limp.

"What's dead should stay dead." He said standing back up.

It was daylight by the time we finished reburying the body.

"Rest in peace." Sam said.

"Yeah. For good this time, okay?"

"You know, that whole fake ritual thing, luring Angela into the cemetery? Pretty sharp." Sam said to Dean. I quietly followed behind them. Still angry about Neil.

"Thanks."

"But did we have to use me as bait?"

"Well. You were all we had left. I was going to use Neil. But.." Dean stopped and turned to look back at me.

"I figured you were more her type. You know, she had pretty crappy taste in guys." Dean continued to Sam.

"I think she broke my hand." Sam mumbled.

"You're just too fragile. We'll get it looked at later." Dean stopped and looked as we walked past Mom's grave.

"You want to stay for a while?" I asked.

"No." He said getting back to the impala and putting our guns away.

Dean's not said a word since we pulled out… its been a couple of hours now. I know I'm mad at him but I can tell when something is seriously wrong. Something's going through his mind… I look to Sam and we exchange a worried look. He sees it too.

"Dean, what is it?" I asked him quietly. Instead of replying he turned off the road and got out, sitting against the hood. Sam and I followed him. I sat next to him, and Sam next to me.

"I'm sorry." He said quickly.

"You - For what?"

"The way I've been acting. And for Dad. I mean, he was yalls dad too. And it's my fault that he's gone."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked him. I looked at Dean and I could see his face trying to hold it all together. It breaks my heart… I reach up and take my hand and lay it on his. Lacing my fingers over his.

"I know you've been thinking it - so have I. Doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Back at the hospital, I made a full recovery. It was a miracle. And five minutes later Dad's dead and the Colt's gone."

"Dean…" I said softly. Trying to figure out what to say next.

"You can't tell me there's not a connection there. I don't know how the demon was involved. I don't know how the whole thing went down exactly. But Dad's dead because of me. And that much I do know."

"We don't know that. Not for sure." Sam said trying to reassure him.

"Sam ..." Dean started to cry. "You, Emily, and Dad ... you're the most important people in my life. And now ... I never should've come back. It wasn't natural. And now look what's come of it. I was dead. And I should have stayed dead. You wanted to know how I was feeling. Well, that's it. So tell me. What could you possibly say to make that all right?"

Sam stared forward and slowly nodded his head.

Nothing. I can't say a damn thing. So instead I stand up and move to stand directly in front of my broken brother. The one who has always been there for me. The one who has always put me back together when I fall apart. The one who has wiped my tears since I was little.

He kept his eyes straight ahead and I waited. Waited for him to look at me. He finally did. His eyes full of guilt and pain. This isn't his fault. But saying that would be useless. He's convinced himself it is. So instead I said the only thing I could think to say that would matter.

"I love you."

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He leaned his head down and hugged me back, crying. I may not know what to say. But I know what to do. That's to love him. Like he's always loved me.


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm super bummed that I have this chapter done and I'm having to wait to post it because our neighbors were getting their driveway redone and the company they hired managed to damage our internet lines. Fannnntastic right? ALSO! I've been a bit distracted this week- I GOT ENGAGED! This chapter has a lot of information! More exciting things coming soon! Please keep reading and reviewing! Reviews make me super happy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily!

"De he's been in there a while… go check on him."

"Oh I'm sure he's fine.. probably dropping the browns off at the superbowl."

"Gross! Dean. Come on. I'm exhausted… I wanna go. Go check on him."

"Ughh. Fine."

I watched as Dean walked away. Leaving me sitting at our table in the bar. Sam's been in the bathroom for like 10 minutes.

When I saw them coming back around the corner I could tell something was off, I jumped up and quickly made me way to them as we left the bar.

"Sammy what's wrong?" I asked as soon as we hit the parking lot, looping my arm around his.

"I had a vision… we gotta go." Was all he said.

"I don't know, man, why don't we just chill out, think about this." Dean suggested as we drove down the road.

"What's there to think about?" Sam asked him.

"I just don't know if going to the Roadhouse is the smartest idea."

"Dean, it's another premonition. I know it. This is gonna happen, and Ash can tell us where."

"Yeah, man, but..."

"Plus it could have some connection with the demon. My visions always do."

"That's my point. There's gonna be hunters there. I don't know if, if, if going in and announcing that you're some supernatural freak with a, a demonic connection is the best thing, okay?"

"Dean! Stop it!" I quickly chimed in smacking him in the back of the head. He turned to glare at me while he rubbed the same spot I hit.

"So I'm a freak now?" Sam asked offended.

"You've always been a freak." Dean said slapping his thigh and grinning. Sam and I simultaneously rolled our eyes.

When we walked in the roadhouse it was full of hunters… Maybe Dean's right. Maybe this is a bad idea. We're outnumbered if anything was to go down. I kept a hand resting on my gun the entire time. We didn't get far before we ran into Jo.

"Just can't stay away, huh?" She said more to Dean then me.

"Yeah, looks like. How you doin', Jo?"

"Where's Ash?!" Sam said cutting her off before she could answer.

"In his back room….. And I'm fine..." She said as Sam brushed past her.

"Sorry, he's, we're... kind of on a bit of a timetable." I said covering for him and walking to catch up. Dean followed behind me.

"Ash? Hey, Ash?" Sam said knocking, not getting an answer. I noticed the sign on the door.

"Hey, Dr. Badass?" I asked knocking myself.

The door comes open and standing in front of us is a butt naked Ash.

"OH..Hello…" I mumbled as Dean's hand flew up to cover my eyes. I clearly did not object.

"Sam? Dean? Emily? Sam, Dean and Emily…" Ash said repetitively.

"Hey Ash. Um. We need your help." Sam said.

"Well, hell then. Guess I need my pants."

"Yeah." Dean said pushing me away from the door, Ash shut the door and came out minutes later and joined us at a table. The bar had started to clear out, must be last call.

"Well, I got a match. It's the logo from the Blue Ridge bus lines in Guthrie, Oklahoma." He says after digging around for a few minutes and looking at the symbol Sam drew out for him from his vision.

"Okay. Do me a favor - check Guthrie for any demonic signs, or omens, or anything like that."

"You think the demon's there?" Ash asked Sam.

"Yeah, maybe."

"Why would you think that?"

"Just check it, all right?" Dean said watching to make sure no one was listening to us.

"No, sir, nothing. No demon." Ash said after a minute or so.

"All right, try something else for me. Search Guthrie for a house fire. It would be 1983, fire's origin would be a baby's nursery, night of the kid's six month birthday. Or in 1989." Sam said a little too loud for Dean's comfort. He quickly looked around, I noticed this caught Jo's attention… Ash looked at Sam like he was crazy.

"Sam…" I mentioned. Looking at him letting him know I'm not sure this is a good idea to share with other people.

"Em. Its fine." He quickly added.

"Okay, now that is just weird, man. Why the hell would I be looking for that." Ash asked.

"Cause there's a PBR in it for ya." I said sliding it across the table, leaning forward with my boobs out a little further than necessary- I took a long sip of the beer before placing it in front of him. Sure. Its kinda slutty but it got him to stop asking questions. Men are too easy.

"Give me fifteen minutes." He said immediately.

I caught Dean giving a disapproving glare my way. I rolled my eyes and fixed the buttons on my shirt.

I sat with Sam and watched as Dean drank a beer at the bar talking to Jo. She's nice. She's obviously into him, and he won't give her the time of day. Of all the women he hits on and takes home… I don't get it. At least Jo understands the life, knows things other women wouldn't. Maybe that's it. Maybe Dean doesn't want someone who knows the truth. Maybe he likes the fact that the women he picks up sees him as a normal guy.

"We have a match. We've gotta go." Sam said pulling me from my thoughts. I followed as he grabbed Dean and we quickly made our way to the impala.

" _And even as I wander, I'm keeping you in sight."_

" _You're a candle in the window on a cold dark winter night."_

" _And I'm getting closer than I ever thought I might..."_

Dean was singing HORRIBLY to REO speedwagon… Sam and I looked to each other and I just shrugged my shoulders.

"You're kidding, right?" Sam finally said to him.

"I heard the song somewhere, I can't get it out of my head, I don't know, man. Whaddya got?"

"Andrew Gallagher. Born in eighty three, like me. Lost his mother in a nursery fire exactly six months later, also like me."

"You think the demon killed his mom?" I asked.

"Sure looks like it."

"How did you even know to look for this guy?"

"Every premonition I've had, if they're not about the demon they're about the other kids the demon visited. Like Max Miller, remember him?"

"Yeah a little too well…" I mumbled.

"But Max Miller was a pasty little psycho." Dean quickly added.

"The point is he was killing people. And I was having the same type of visions about him. And now it could be happening all over again with this Gallagher guy." Sam answered.

"How do we find him?" I asked.

"Don't know. No current address, no current employment. He still owes money on all his bills - phone, credit, utilities..."

"Collection agency flags?" Dean asked.

"None in the system." Sam answered.

"They just let him take a walk?"

"Seems like it. There's a work address from his last W-2, about a year ago. Let's start there."

"Are we gonna drive all night or can we crash somewhere?" I asked.

"Drive." Sam answered before Dean had a chance to even think about it.

"Well okay then… wake me when we get there." I said laying down in the backseat.

The next morning we went to Andy's last job. A coffee shop. The boys drank theirs while I just held the warm cup in my hands. It's a comforting feeling. Dean thinks its dumb, but Sam always orders me one regardless.

"You won't get anything out of Andy, guys. I'm sorry, but they never do." A lady said as she brought us our check.

"They?" Sam asked.

"You're debt collectors, right? Once in a while they come by. I don't know what Andy says to them, but they never come back."

"Actually we're, we're lawyers. Representing his Great Aunt Leta. She passed, God rest her soul, and left Andy a sizable estate." Dean tried to cover.

"Yeah. So are you a friend of his?" I asked.

"I used to be, yeah. I don't see much of Andy anymore."

"Andy? Andy kicks ass, man." The bus boy interrupted coming to sit down at our table. Dude what the hell?

"Is that right?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah. Andy can get you into anything. He even got me backstage at Aerosmith once, it was beautiful, bro."

"How about bussing a table or two, Weber?" The waitress reminded him.

"Yeah. You bet, boss." He said getting up and leaving.

"Look, if you want to find him, try Orchard Street. Just look for a van with a barbarian queen painted on the side."

"Barbarian queen?" I asked.

"She's riding a polar bear. It's kind of hard to miss." Oh holy hell… this is going to be interesting.

We left the diner and headed over to orchard street… sure enough. We climbed out of the impala and all stared at the Van in front of us. I'll be damned there was a barbarian queen riding a polar bear. What. In. The. Actual. Fuck… am I looking at right now?

"I'm sorry, I'm starting to like this dude. That van is sweet." Dean said. He looked over to Sam who looked bummed.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"Nothing."

"Sam, you look like you're sucking on a lemon, what's going on?" Dean said.

"This Andrew Gallagher, he's the second guy like this we've found, Dean. Demon came to them when they were kids, now they're killing people."

"We don't know what Andrew Gallagher is, all right? He could be innocent."

"My visions haven't been wrong yet."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, I'm one of them."

"No, you're not. If anything Emily would be one of them… And I don't see her running around with any weird psychic powers or killing people. So chill!" Gee thanks Dean.

"Dean, the demon said he had plans for me and children like me. He has plans for her too." Sam said pointing at me.

"Sam.. don't do this." I said knowing where this was headed.

"Maybe this is his plan, maybe we're all a bunch of psychic freaks, maybe we're all supposed to be-"

"What, killers?" Dean asked interrupting him.

"Yeah."

"So the demon wants you out there killing with your minds, is that it? Come on, give me a break. You're not a murderer, Sam! You don't have it in your bones. Neither does she! The two of you are nothing like Max. And we have no idea if this Andy guy is either. We don't know anything yet, so quick making this out to be something that it's not."

"No? Last I checked, I kill all kinds of things. So does she Dean. Emily grew up learning how to kill things. We all did."

"Okay that's it! Stop it!" I finally yelled. Both of them turned to look at me.

"Sam this is not the same thing! You are different from Max. And this Andy guy, and whoever else this demon came and fucked with! It was ME he came to see when Mom died. I don't have psychic powers, I'm not killing people. I kill monsters! You kill monsters! We SAVE people Sam! So please put an end to this conversation… cause you're starting to freak me out! I'm having a hard enough time figuring out how the hell I fit into all this shit as it is and you're making it harder on the both of us! We're different. We gotta keep our heads on straight and do what we do best, figure this shit out."

Sam didn't say anything to me at the moment. He just shook his head and walked forward, Dean however put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it.

"Proud of you kiddo. Don't let this thing scare you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you or him. Okay?"

"Yeah… okay." I said watching Sam. I'd be lying if I said this whole thing doesn't scare me. I feel like a freak, even though I don't have visions I feel like I'm in the middle of this thing too. I wish we had answers. I wish we knew what the hell was going on. I wish Sam would quit trying to turn us both into cold blooded murders.

Dean and I caught up to Sam and we began looking around for any sign of Andy.

"Got him." I said pointing at the man coming out of the apartment building across the street, he stops and blows a kiss to an extremely attractive woman hanging out a window waving at him. I mean not that Andy is ugly- but that girl is more on Dean's level. How the hell did Andy pull that one off?

"That's him. That older guy, that's him, that's the shooter." Sam said pointing at a man walking the opposite way down the sidewalk.

"All right, you keep on him, I'll stick with Andy. Go." Dean said.

"Sam I'm coming with you." I said. Dean nodded and we split ways.

Sam and I followed the doctor and stopped as he did when his phone rang, we watched him answer it- agreeing to do something. He suddenly turned and looked at the sporting goods store not far from us, and began to walk towards it.

"Sam." I said making sure he realized where he was headed.

"Yeah. I know- come on." He took off running and beat the old man to the store. He looked around panicked, not sure what to do next.

"Sam! Fire alarm! It'll clear the building." I said pointing to the one behind him. He quickly pulled it and we ran out the front door in time to see the doctor pause in front of the store and turn to walk the other way.

"Nice job kiddo." Sam said taking a deep breath of relief.

I was fixing to answer him when something else caught my eye… it was Baby. But. Dean wasn't the one driving. It was Andy? What the fuck!

"Dean! Andy's got the Impala!" I said as I immediately called him. Putting him on speaker for us both to hear.

"I know! He just sorta asked me for it and I, I let him take it."

"You what?!" Sam asked shocked.

"He full-on Obi-Wanned me. It's mind control, man!" Dean said frustrated.

"Okay Dean we're still on orchard, head towards us." I said but I noticed Sam was looking at something, I looked to where he was watching the doctor- just in time to see him walk out in front of a bus.

His body was launched forward a few feet and the bus hit it again, dragging it under the front wheels… I couldn't pull my eyes away. I couldn't look away from the blood pouring out on the road. I could vaguely hear screams and gasps and out of the corner of my eye I could see people running towards the bus but I was frozen.

"Sam.." I whispered. I grabbed for his arm and squeezed it.

"No. God.. no." he said from beside me.

"Sam… I.. I." I could feel myself becoming short of breath.

No… no not right now. Please no. Dean's not here!

"Em?" Sam said finally noticing that I'm breathing rapidly.

"Emily calm down, its okay… just breathe." He said pulling me around so that I was facing away form the accident scene.

"Sa-a-a" Was all I could get out between breaths, I could feel the panic rising in my throat. Dammit I hate these!

"Shh… Shh.. Its okay just breathe Em. Just breathe.. Its okay."

"D-d-d-d…" I kept trying to say Dean's name but that's all that would come out between the small gasps of air.

"Em. He's coming… come on kiddo just breathe." Sam tried to soothe me by holding me but it only made me feel more constricted. Even if I wanted to tell him that I couldn't. I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't slow myself down. My whole body was shaking.

"Sa-a-a-am" I said again trying to convey to him that I can't stop and I'm freaking out.

"I know kiddo.. I know come on." He wrapped an arm around me and started to walk me down the sidewalk in the direction Dean would be coming from.

We thankfully didn't walk far before I caught site of Dean running towards us.

"Dean!" Sam hollered getting his attention.

"Dean she won't stop…"

"What the hell happened?"

"I thought I stopped him man… I thought he'd be okay…" Sam said ready to fall apart himself.

Dean went into action and grabbed me form Sam, he leaned down to put his face close to mine and got my attention focused soley on him- as if the world around us didn't exist.

"Slow… come on Em. Take a deep breath." He soothed, finally I was starting to slow down, I could get one. Then another…

He knew the worst of it was past me.

"Okay you stay here for a second. I'm gonna go check on Sammy okay?" I nodded and sat down at the bench he led me to.

I hadn't even realized Sam walked away from us. Poor Sam. I hate seeing him so defeated. I hate him feeling like a screw up.

I watched as he sat on the ground and Dean went over to check on him. I could tell he was upset. Upset about the doctor and If I knew Sam half as well as I think I do I know that he's upset he couldn't help me… I wish I could explain to him its not his fault. He did everything he was supposed to, It just. I'm just broken, and there's really only one person who can put me back together.

Dean led Sam back over to where I was, I had finally caught my breath.

"Alright come on, we gotta find my car." Dean said grabbing my hand and pulling me off the bench. I stayed on his heels, feeling the need to stay close to him. I always do afterwards. We rounded a corner and finally found it parked back by the coffee shop we started this whole horrible day at.

"Thank god! Oh. I'm sorry, baby. I'll never leave you again. Well, at least he left the keys in it. "

"Yeah. Real Samaritan, this guy." Sam mumbles.

"Well, it looks like he can't work his mojo just by twitching his nose, he's gotta use verbal commands." Dean noted.

"The doctor had just gotten off his cell phone when he stepped in front of that bus. Andy must have called him or something."

"I don't know, maybe."

"Beg your pardon?" Sam asked as if Dean had just said the sky was purple instead of blue.

"I just don't know if he's our guy, Sam."

"Dean, you had O.J. convicted before he got out of his white Bronco and you have doubts about this?"

"He just doesn't seem like the stone-cold killer type, that's all. You know. And O.J. was guilty."

"Either way, how are we going to track this guy down?" I asked them bringing the conversation back to where it needs to be.

"Not a problem." Dean said.

He drove us back over to where Andy's van was parked. Geez. This thing could make your eyeballs wanna commit suicide its so ugly.

"Not exactly an inconspicuous ride. Let's have a look." He said as he pulled out a crowbar and carefully pried open the back door. The inside was even worse. It had a disco ball, fur rugs, and a giant ass tiger painting on the wall. I mean come on dude. The most ridiculous part was the giant bong in the corner.

"Oh. Oh, come on. This is... this is magnificent, that's what this is. Not exactly a serial killer's lair, though. There's no... clown paintings on the walls, or scissors stuck in victims' photos. I like the tiger."

"Dean. If you don't stop now then I'm going to have to disown you as a brother. This is disgusting." I said in all seriousness. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to looking around. Sam picked up a few thick books laying around inside.

"Hegel, Kant, Wittgenstein? That's some pretty heavy reading, Dean."

"Yeah, and uh, and Moby Dick's bong." Dean replied picking the thing up.

"Dean put that thing down before you get herpes from it." I whisper yelled at him. He quickly dropped it.

"Alright. Lets get food and figure out our next move." He said as he closed up Andy's van.

It was another day of glorious gas station food. I seriously don't know how we go without getting constant food poisoning.

"Ugh. You know, one day I'd love to just sit down and eat something I didn't have to microwave at a minimart." Dean said taking another bite of the burrito in his hand. I usually stay away from those.

"What I don't get is the motive. I mean, the doctor was squeaky clean, why would Andy waste him?" Sam said flipping through papers, not touching his sandwich. He's focused on the case and nothing else.

"If it is Andy." Dean added.

"Dude, enough." Sam said irritated.

"What?"

"The doctor was mind-controlled in front of a bus. Andy just happens to have the power of mind control. You do the math."

"I just don't think the guy's got it in him, that's all."

"Well, how the hell would you know? I mean, why are you bending over backwards defending him?"

"'Cause you're not right about this." Dean said matter of factly.

In the midst of their arguing neither of them noticed that Andy was approaching us.

"Umm.. De." He ignored me.

"Sammy." I said, again nothing, but it was too late now. Andy suddenly appeared and leaned into Sam's open window.

"Hey! You think I haven't seen you three? Why are you following me?" Andy asked.

"Well, we're lawyers. See, a relative of yours has passed aw-" Sam started but was cut off by Andy.

"Tell the truth!" He yelled.

"That's what I'm – " But Sam was cut off again. This time by Dean.

"We hunt demons." Dean blurted out. Sam and I turned to look at him. Shocked.

"What?" Andy asked confused.

"Dean!" Sam yelled.

"Demons and spirits. Things your worst nightmares wouldn't even touch. Sam here, he's my brother. Emily back there is our little sister."

"Dean, shut up!" I yelled.

"I'm trying. He's psychic. Kind of like you. Well, not really like you, but see, he thinks you're a murderer, and he's afraid that he's going to become one himself, 'cause you're all part of something that's terrible. And, I hope to hell that he's wrong, but I'm starting to get a little scared that he might be righ-" I finally slapped a hand over Dean's mouth and stopped him.

"Okay, you know what? Just leave me alone." Andy said backing away.

Dean cringes and holds his head as if he just got brainfreeze, Sam jumped out of the car and began to follow Andy. I quickly followed him.

"What are you doing? Look, I, I said leave me alone. All right? Get out of here, just start driving and never stop." Andy said to him never stopping walking away.

"Doesn't seem to work on me, Andy." Sam said following right behind him.

"What?" Andy asked shocked.

"You can make people do things, can't you? You can tell them what to think." Sam accused of him, Dean got out of the car and moved towards us but Sam put up a hand to stop him. Knowing that Andy can control him.

"Look, tha- that's crazy." Andy laughed.

"It all started about a year ago, didn't it? After you turned twenty-two. Little stuff at first, and then you got better at controlling it."

"How do you know all this?"

"Because the same thing happened to me, Andy. My mom died in a fire, too. I have abilities too. You see, we're connected, you and me. Emily too… We could all be in danger."

Gee Sam. Thanks… guess you forgot that whole spill from earlier about stop scaring the shit out of me!

"You know what? Just, just, just, just get out of here, all right?!"

"Why did you tell the doctor to walk in front of a bus?" Sam quickly asked him cutting him off so he couldn't walk away.

"What?" Andy asked. I was slowly realizing he had no idea what Sam was talking about.

Sam suddenly stopped and started rubbing his head… its happening again. I can tell. But he keeps pushing towards Andy.

"Why did you kill him?"

"I didn't!"

Sam went to speak again but instead fell to his knees clutching his head. I bent down next to him.

"Sammy! Sam!" I yelled trying to snap him out of it.

"Sam!" Dean said running over to help pick him up off the ground.

"Sam? What is it?" I asked as he started to come to.

"Look, I didn't do anything to him." Andy said with his hands up.

"A woman. A woman burning alive."

"What else'd you get?" Dean asked him.

"A gas station, a woman is gonna kill herself."

"What does he mean, going to? What is he, what is –" Andy started but Dean cut him off.

"Shut up!" Dean yelled. Going back to Sam.

"She gets triggered by a call on her cell."

"When?" I asked.

I don't know. But as long as we keep our eyes on this son of a bitch he can't hurt her." Sam said standing up straight again and glaring at Andy.

"I didn't hurt anybody." Andy said innocently.

"Yeah, not yet." Sam said not taking his eyes off of him. Suddenly a fire truck flies past us.

"Go." Sam said to Dean and I. We ran back to the impala and began following the fire truck.

When we got there we were way too late. The lady was basically burnt toast. The fire department was just trying to control the fire at this point. Knowing she was a lost cause. Dean called Sam immediately.

"Hey, it's me. She's dead. Burned up, just like you said."

"When?" Sam asked.

"Like minutes before we got here! I mean the smell hasn't even cleared. What's up with your visions, man? This wasn't even a head start."

"I don't know, all right? I can't control them, I don't know what the hell is going on."

"Listen, you were with Andy when this whole thing went down, so it, it can't be him, it's gotta be somebody else doing this."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"What else is new? Well, we'll dig around here, see what else we can find."

Dean and I dug around for about an hour, we were on our way back to Sam.

"De…"

"Yeah?"

"Why is this happening to us?"

He sighed heavily and readjusted in his seat. Trying to come up with an answer.

"I don't know kiddo."

"De I'm scared… what if Sam's right. What if we're meant to be something horrible. What if we're evil? I mean who knows. I could wake up tomorrow and start having visions, or in 6 more years when I'm 22 also…"

"Em. Don't. Don't even go there. You and I both know you aren't evil, and neither is Sam. The guy's a freakin teddy bear. We just gotta take this one step at a time till we know what we're dealing with. Don't be scared. You're going to be fine, we all are."

Instead of responding I just scooted over and sat with his arm on the seat above my shoulders.

"Victim's name was Holly Beckett, forty-one, single." Dean announced to Sam and Andy as we got out of the car.

"Who is she?" I asked Andy.

"Never heard of her."

"Called Ash on the way over here; he came up with a little something. Apparently Holly Beckett gave birth when she was eighteen years old, back in 1983. Same day you were born, Andy." I said.

"Andy, were you adopted?" Sam asked him.

"Well, yeah."

"You were? And you neglected to mention that?" Dean added.

"Never really came up. I mean, I, I never knew my birth parents, and, and like you said my adopted mom died when I was a baby - do you, do you think this Holly woman could actually be my m-"

"I don't know. I tried to get a copy of the birth records, but they're hard copy only, sealed in the county office." Dean replied.

"Well, screw that." Andy said with a smile.

We made our way over to the county clerk at nightfall, trying to alert as few people as possible. Andy smoothed us in past the guards with no problems.

"Probably shouldn't have left you kids in here." The old guard mumbled as Andy handed him a cup of coffee and walked him out of the room.

"No, it'll all be fine. All right? Just go enjoy a cup of coffee." Andy said with a smile. I watched in amazement. This guy could totally come in handy.

"Awesome." Dean said grinning.

"I got it." Sam said getting all of our attention.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"Yeah. Andy, it's true. Holly Beckett was your birth mother." Sam said looking at him with pity.

"Huh. Does anyone have a Vicodin?" Andy asked- hopefully joking.

"Dr. Jennings was her doctor, too, I mean, he oversaw the adoption. You have a solid connection to both of them."

"Yeah, but I, I didn't kill them."

"We believe you Andy." I said placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah." Sam agreed.

"But uh, who did?" Dean asked bringing us back to the main issue.

"I think I got a pretty good guess. Holly Beckett gave birth to twins." I said reading over the file in Sam's hands.

Poor Andy was sitting with his head in his hands, staring at the floor.

"I have an evil twin." He mumbled.

"Holly put you and your brother up for adoption. And you went to the Gallagher family, obviously, and your brother went to the Weems family from upstate." Sam explained. Andy didn't say anything.

"Andy, how you doin'? Still with us?" Dean asked him.

"Um. What was my brother's name?"

"Here. Um, Ansen Weems. And he's got a local address."

"He - he lives here?"

"Let's get a look at him. Got his picture coming off from the DMV right now." Dean said going and pulling a paper off of the printer. He froze for a second. His face scrunching up in confusion.

"Hate to kick you while you're freaked- but take a look at that."

HOLY SHIT.

"Andy…" I said placing a hand on his shoulder again, his shock evident.

"Alright come on, we gotta go… we gotta get to this guy before he hurts anyone else." Dean said pushing us towards the door.

"All right, Andy. Tell us everything you know about this guy." Sam said as we drove down the road.

"Well, I mean, not much. I... Weber shows up one day, eight months ago? Acting like he's my best friend in the world. Kinda weird, like, trying too hard, you know?" Andy started to explain, but something else caught my attention. Sam was cringing and rubbing his eyes… he's fixing to have another one.

"Must have known you guys were twins. Why did he change his name? Why not just tell you the truth?" Dean asked.

"No idea." Andy said.

"Ahhh.." Sam cried out.

"Sam?" Dean asked. But he couldn't respond.

Dean pulled over and Sam continued screaming and holding his head, when the car stopped he reached for the door and struggled to open it, Dean and I were out in seconds in front of him.

"Sam? Sam! Sammy!" I yelled trying to get him to look up.

"Hey. Hey!" Dean said shaking his shoulders.

"Dean we gotta go… we gotta go now. He's fixing to do it again. He's got tracy." Sam said panicked. Andy's eyes got wide.

I climbed in the front seat while Sam held his head in his hands, rubbing his temples.

"Sammy… what can I do?"

"Nothing kiddo… its just gotta go away on its own."

"I'm sorry…" I whispered to him.

"For what Em?"

"That this is happening to you and not me… it should be me. You shouldn't have to go through this. It doesn't fit the pattern… I should have these, not you."

"Emily. I would rather have a hundred of these then let you have even one… seriously. Its not your fault, and even if it was I wouldn't be upset with you. I never want you to have to experience this." He whispered back.

"I love you Sammy." I said leaning over and wrapping my arms around his one big arm. He grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"I love you too Kiddo."

When we got close we parked and ran around to the trunk, ready to load up.

"Dean, you should stay back. Em stay with him just incase, I think me and you are the only ones immune here." Sam said.

"No argument here. Had my head screwed with enough for one day. I'll set up here with the sniper, just be careful down there."

"I'm coming with you." Andy said jumping out and following Sam.

"Andy, no."

"If it's Tracy out there ... then I'm coming." He said forcefully, there was no way from stopping him honestly. It was kinda romantic, but also kinda sad.

Dean and I set up above the bridge and watched carefully as Sam and Andy made their way to the car that held Weber/Weems and Tracy.

"Get out of the car! Now!" Sam said pistol whipping him. Andy instantly went to Tracy and pulled her out of the car.

"You really don't want to do this." Weems said glaring at Sam, Sam backhands him. He still doesn't move. Sam opens his door and pulls him out, pinning him face down on the pavement with a gun aimed at his head.

"Don't move. Don't move!" He warned. Andy ran over and put duct tape over Weems' mouth to prevent him from controlling anyone else, then he begins to kick him. But Sam pushes him away.

"No! No, Andy, let me handle this, all right?" Sam tried to convince him.

"I'm gonna kill you!" Andy yelled.

"No! I'll handle this, I'll handle this!" Sam said pushing him back. "Andy! Listen to me! Listen to me!"

Suddenly Weems turns and stares at Tracy, she quickly picked up a large stick and wacked Sam on the back of the head with it. He falls unconscious.

"Sam!" I said getting ready to run to him, but Dean caught my arm.

"No! Not yet… stay put for a minute." He whispered.

"Tracy, stop! I said STOP IT!" Andy said to her, she dropped the stick and backed away terrified. Andy turned to face Weems and he pulled the duct tape off. Guess he doesn't need to use his words.

Andy and Weems are having a discussion but I can barely make out the words, my eyes are glued on Sam. He's slowly starting to stir.

"The man with the yellow eyes." I briefly hear Weems say, catching me off guard and causing me to pay more attention.

"What are you talking about?" Andy asked him.

"He came to me. In my dream. He said I was special. He told me he's got big plans for me. Wait 'till you see what's in store, Andy, for both of us! See, he's the one who told me that ... I had a brother. A twin."

"De…" I said worried.

"Shh.. I know. Just lay low, I'm gonna get repositioned." Dean said standing and laying the sniper on a large rock to stabilize it, sights set on Weems.

"Why did you kill our mother? Why? And why Dr. Jennings?" Andy asked him.

"Because they split us up! They ruined our lives, Andy! We could have been together this whole time. Instead of alone. I couldn't, I couldn't let 'em do that, I couldn't let them get away with that. No."

I see Sam starting to stir again, and I moved a little more forward to get a better view and a better angle to shoot. SHIT. I snapped some branches, giving us away, I looked to Dean panicked. I looked back to see Weems looking up at us, smiling evily.

"I see you. Bye-bye." He said loud enough for us to hear, I couldn't understand what he was doing until I turned back to Dean and saw the barrel of his gun inches from my face.

"Dean… Dean, you have to stop… don't listen to him…" I begged shakily.

"Emily… Run… please. I'm begging you" he said with tears in his eyes struggling not pull the trigger, but I couldn't run if I wanted to, It wouldn't be fast enough. I know if I turn and break eye contact it'll give him the chance to pull the trigger, and Dean never misses.

"De… I can't." I whispered with tears forming in my own eyes. Dean fights hard against his body, but I know its useless.

"I'm sorry De…" I whispered closing my eyes, then I heard the shot. I was too afraid to open them. Wondering where I'd be. Am I going to heaven? Will I get to see Mom. Dad?

"Em.." I heard Dean's voice. I slowly opened my eyes to see him dropping the gun to the ground. He dropped to his knees in front of me and crushed me against his chest.

"I'm so sorry… God Emily, I- I'm so sorry." He said over and over again. I sat there shocked, unsure of what's just happened. It wasn't until I looked over and saw the gun in Andy's hand and Weems on the ground that I understood what happened. Andy- he saved us.

"Its okay… Its okay I'm fine Dean." I whispered, finally grasping the fact that I'm not dead.

It was daylight within the next couple of hours, emergency crews filled the roadway. Andy did his thing and covered for us all, as he walked away he stopped to look at Tracy, sitting in the back of an ambulance, she turned away from him. Andy's heart looked crushed.

"She won't even look at me." He said as he walked up to us.

"Yeah, she's pretty shaken up." Sam agreed.

"No, it's, this is different. It's, uh, I never, I never used my mind thing on her before. Before last night. She's scared of me now." Andy admitted. Bless his heart. I walked up and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you Andy, for saving me, for saving us all." I whispered before kissing his cheek and letting go.

"Hey, Andy, I hate to do this, but um, we have to get out of here. Here. I wrote down my cell. You don't have to be alone in this, all right? If anything comes up, just call me up." Sam said handing him the paper.

"Wha- what am I supposed to do now?" Andy asked us lost.

"You be good, Andy. Or we'll be back." Dean warned. We walked away back towards Baby.

"Looks like I was right." Sam said.

"About what?" I asked.

"Andy. He's a killer after all." Sam said seriously.

"No, he's a hero. He saved his girlfriend's life, he saved my life." I quickly took up for him.

"Bottom line, last night, he wasted somebody."

"Yeah, but he's not a foaming-at-the-mouth psycho. He was just, he was pushed into that." Dean said.

"Weber was pushed too, in his own way. Max Miller was pushed. Hell, I was pushed by Jessica's death."

"What's your point, Sam?" I asked.

"Right circumstances, everyone's capable of murder. Everyone. You know, maybe that's what the demon's doing. Pushing us. Finding ways to break us."

"Sam, we don't know what the demon wants, okay? Quit worrying about it." Dean told him.

"You know, I heard you before, Dean, when Andy made you tell the truth. You're just as scared of this as I am. Emily can admit she's scared… why can't you."

"That was mind control! I mean, it's like, like, that's like being roofied, man, that doesn't count."

"What?"

"No. I'm, I'm calling do-over."

"What are you, seven?" I turned and asked him.

"Doesn't matter. Look, we've just gotta keep doing what we're doing, find that evil son of a bitch and kill it."

"Yeah, I guess." Sam answered full of doubt, when we reached Baby Dean's phone rang.

"Hello? Ellen. What's going on? Yeah, we'll be right there." Well… guess we're going to the roadhouse.

"De, can we get a room tonight, none of us has slept in like two days. We can meet Ellen in the morning."

"Yeah, I'm cool with that Kiddo."

We drove for a while and stopped round dinner at the diner in whatever town we were passing through, we ate and went to the closest motel, we each showered, washing off all the dirt and grime from the last couple of days, and I crawled into the warm comfy bed next to Sam. Dean was already snoring.

"Em…" Sam said softly, I turned over to face him.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for freaking you out and adding more to your plate, I'm sorry I keep dragging you into all this. I just- I want answers. I wanna figure this thing out. I'm sorry about the other day with the doctor… I tried. I jus-"

"Sam.. stop." I interrupted him.

"Sam its okay… I want answers too. I'm confused as hell as to where you and I both fit into this thing. I'm scared. But I'll be damned if that pig headed snoring brother of ours is going to let anything happen us." I said causing Sam to giggle.

"Sam, its not your fault. I'm sorry I laid that on you. I just. Saw the bus, and the blood, and. I don't know. I just. I couldn't get it together. You did everything right. It wasn't you. It was me." I said sympathetically.

"Emily you need to tell me… I've gotta understand whats going on or I'm not gonna be able to help. Dean's not always gonna be there. Kiddo. Please. Talk to me. You used to tell me everything." He begged quietly.

I stared at him for a second. Tempted to reopen pandora's box and let myself remember. I can vaguely smell the burning of flesh. Taste the blood. Breathing in the hot dry air… it burns my throat.

"Sammy… please don't make me go back there again." I whispered never breaking eye contact.

"Where Em… what the hell happened to you?" he said reaching up and pushing my hair behind my ear. I could feel my hands starting to shake. I reached up and ran my hand through my hair.

"Sam… what she did. I can't. I've tried so hard to forget. I don't know If I can even say it… I can't even let myself think about it. Its like if I let myself remember I'll have to do it all over again. I can't. I can't do it Sammy." I pleaded with tears starting to fall.

"Whoa whoa whoa… Emily. Shhh. Come here." He pulled me against him and rubbed my back.

(Sam's POV)

I didn't even realizing her whole body was shaking until I pulled her against me. Every fiber of my being is dying to know. What happened. Who hurt her, what did they do? What could be so terrible that even the thought of it could make her hysterical. Every bit of my heart breaks as I feel her cry into my shoulder. I didn't want to upset her more. I shouldn't have asked, but. I need to know. How can I help her if I don't know?

I held her until she fell asleep, then I rolled over and tried to get in a few hours for myself.

When I woke up Emily was still passed out next to me, she looked so peaceful. Like when she was little. She was always so full of energy and always talking, always running around, always making faces to match her moods. But when she slept- her small beautiful face was so calm. So smooth. Even now she looks so calm. She goes through so much. Sees so much. Yet she still wakes up and makes the best of it all.

I slowly got up and got dressed, when I walked out Dean was coming back in the door with coffee.

"Hey. She still out?" he asked me.

"Yeah man, like a log."

"We'll let her sleep for a while. She needs it."

"Dean."

"Yeah?"

"I asked her to tell me last night."

"Tell you what?" He asked not catching on.

"Whatever the hell happened to her while I was gone." I said. He finally caught on and looked up to me. He just stared for a second and then looked down.

"What did she say…" He asked quietly.

"She begged me not to make her go back there, said she couldn't go through it again. Dean… Man. What the hell happened?"

"Sam you shouldn't have brought it up. She can't deal with it."

"Well obviously no one has pushed her do deal with it… I mean she can't go through the rest of her life afraid to even remember whatever it is that happened to her. She's got to get past this. You're not going to be there to help her forever."

"Sam. Stop. I realize that okay? But you don't understand… You didn't see her. I couldn't stand to be the one to make her feel like that all over again. I won't. It took weeks. Weeks. For Dad and I to pull her back. Yeah man I get it. She's got the panic attacks but they are NOTHING compared to what she went through. So I'm going to say this once, and hear me clearly. Don't ask her again. If there comes a time where I feel like you have to know. Then I'll tell you myself. Until then, leave it alone."

"Dean. She is my baby sister too. I love her just as much as you do! I have a right to know what the hell happened. I mean come on man! What the hell could be THAT bad that neither of you are willing to talk about it?!"

"Sam. Drop it. Last warning." He said giving me the "dad" look.

"Man… what the hell ever."

(Emily's POV)

I don't know what I missed this morning but both of my brothers have barely looked at or spoken to each other since I've been awake. I missed one hell of a fight if I had to guess. We got to the road house in about 2 hours and walked in to see Jo and Ellen setting up the bar for the day.

"Jo?" Ellen said as we walked in.

"Hmm?"

"Go pull up another case of beer."

"Mom..."

"Now. Please."

As Jo walked away the three of us took a seat at the bar, she poured Dean a beer and slid me a glass of water.

"So. You uh, you want to tell me about this last hunt of yours?" Ellen asked us.

"No. Not really. No offense, it's just kind of a family thing." Dean answered.

"Not anymore." She said as she dropped a stack of papers on the bar in front of us. "I got this stuff from Ash. Andrew Gallagher's house burnt down on his six month birthday, just like your house. You think it was the demon both times, don't you? You think it went after Gallagher's family?"

"Yeah, we think so." Sam answered.

"Sam..." Dean said as if telling him to shut his trap. I nervously sat with my lips sealed. Not sure what to think of this situation.

"Why?" Ellen asked not missing a beat.

"None of your business." Dean answered again.

"You mind your tongue with me, boy. This isn't just your war, this is war. Now, something big and bad's coming and it's coming fast, and their side holds all the cards. Now, at best all we got is us. Together. No secrets or half-truths here."

"There are people out there, like Andy Gallagher, like me. And um Emily... we all have some kind of ability. Except Em… for now."

"Ability?" Ellen asked.

"Yeah. Psychic ability. Me, I have, um, I have visions. Premonitions. I don't know, it's, it's different for everybody. The demon said he had plans for people like us. We aren't really sure how Emily and I fit into the pattern. Mom died when Emily was 6 months old and the Demon came. But, dad told us he came once before, when I was 6 months old too. No body died that night. But something- something left me with these abilities."

"What kind of plans?"

"We don't really know for sure." I finally spoke up joining the conversation.

"These people out there, these psychics - they dangerous?" She asked.

"No. Not all of them." Dean quickly answered.

"But some are. Some are very dangerous." Sam said glaring at Dean.

"Okay, how many of them are we looking at?"

"We've been able to track a clear pattern so far. They've all had house fires on the night of the kid's six month birthday." I answered.

"That's not true." Sam quickly cut in.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Weber? Or Ansen Weems, or whatever his name is - I looked at his files, and there was no house fire. There's nothing out of the ordinary." Then I slowly remembered him saying that Yellow Eyes came to him in a dream. Dammit.

"Which breaks pattern. So if there's any others like him, there'd be nothing in the system. No way to track 'em all down." Ellen said putting the pieces together. Yeah. Basically we have no fucking clue.

"And so who knows how many of 'em are really out there?" Dean asked.

"Jo honey?" Ellen said to Jo who had returned a few minutes ago.

"Yeah?"

"You'd better break out the whiskey instead."


	27. Chapter 27

Author's Note: Okay yall, this is an original chapter so I'm kinda nervous about it. I hope you guys enjoy it! It was super fun to write and put the characters in situations they haven't been in or wouldn't be in according to the show. I really do hope you guys all enjoy it! I'm super nervous about posting it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sam or Dean.

That night we bunked down at Ellen and Jo's. Ellen had a lead on a case so the next morning we took off, headed for somewhere in Ohio. Small town from what I understood. Looks like the local high school football team has had some odd deaths in the last few months.

We got to town early this morning and decided to crash for a few hours before we got to digging around. I had been asleep for no more than 2-3 hours when the sound of the door woke me up.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty!" Dean said as he walked in with coffee- and water, in hand.

I groaned and reached for the pillow next to me, Sam must have gotten up already, I can hear the shower running. I placed the pillow over my head trying to drown out the sound of Dean.

"Hey, Kiddo. Lets go! Got a surprise for ya." Dean taunted coming over and putting the cold water bottle against my side where my skin was exposed.

"Geez! What the fuck Dean!" I yelled jumping up to get away from him. He laughed.

"You're going to regret that asshole." I grumbled, he laughed even louder.

"For real though, I got a surprise for you." He said as he walked back over to the table and reached for a folded up piece of paper.

Intrigued I walked over and sat down across from him. When I opened the paper it was a list of classes, a schedule? Wait….. NO. He wouldn't dare.

"Dean. What is this?" I asked cautiously.

"Well. The case is at the high school, we need a man on the inside. Well. Girl, but whatever you get the point."

"No. No way in HELL am I going to a highschool." I said throwing down the paper and crossing my arms.

"Emily come on, it won't be that bad. You always wondered what small town life was like for a kid, well now you can find out for yourself." He said trying to sweet talk me.

"Dean. NO." I said firmly not looking away.

Just as he opened his mouth to respond Sam walked out of the bathroom and sat next to us grabbing his coffee.

"Okay… what'd I miss?" He asked noticing my posture.

"Well YOUR idiot brother here went and enrolled me at the local high school, he seems to actually think I'm going to step foot in that building." I said still not taking my eyes off of Dean. He rolled his eyes at me and turned to Sam.

"I just think it's a good idea to have someone on the inside, its not like we can go around asking a bunch of kids a bunch of questions on school property. They'll think we're pervs." Dean explained, I scoffed.

"Em I hate to say it, but Dean's right. You're 16, you're the only one of the 3 of us that would blend in and be able to really help. Sorry kiddo. But it looks like you're going. Besides It'd be good for you to learn a thing or two, you don't get enough schooling in as it is."

I stared at him shocked. I can't believe he's going along with this.

"Sam. I got my GED by the time I was 15, that's a year earlier than you and two earlier than Dean did. I think I know plenty thank you very much! I can't believe you two are doing this to me! Ugh!" I shouted getting up from the table and slamming the bathroom door as I walked in to shower.

I stood there under the hot water just thinking… Dean's right. I would never admit it out loud, but I'm our best bet at solving this case. Truth is… I just don't see an upside to this for me. I mean I'll go and I'll either hate it. Or I'll go and I'll love it and wish my life was different. Its not like I haven't gone before, but It was only elementary and middle school. I've never actually been to high school.

I stayed there until the water got cold and my fingers felt all pruny. I sighed and got out taking my time to get ready. I finally walked out and crossed my arms standing in the doorway.

"Okay. So what exactly am I looking for?" I asked my brothers.

"Well. In the last 4 months, 3 kids have died. All of them on the football team. Each kid had some freaky accident. So game plan is to get you on the inside. See what you can find out. We'll do digging from the outside. Keep your phone close, we'll never be far from you so if anything goes down you promise you'll call us?" Dean said.

"Yes Dean." I said rolling my eyes.

"Em. It won't be that bad, hell you might even enjoy it." Sam said convincingly as possible.

"Yeah. Maybe I'll even get a date to the prom!" I said with mock excitement.

"Emily. Cut the attitude." Dean said sternly. I rolled my eyes and walked past them to get to the door. They quickly followed.

We got in Baby and to my surprise Dean already had a backpack and a few notebooks sitting in the backseat waiting on me. Lovely.

"I'm going to guess you forgot to get pens and pencils?" I asked digging in the bag noticing there wasn't any.

"Shit!" Dean said as he pulled up to the school.

"Want us to go get you some Em?" Sam asked as Dean parked.

I stared at the large building in front us, I hope this case doesn't take long.

"No. Its fine. I'll borrow one… gotta make friends anyways right?"

"Yeah. Be smart in there kiddo. Call us if you need anything, we'll be back to pick you up at 3." Sam said.

"Yeah well If I haven't blown my brains out by then, then I'll guess I'll see you at 3." I said getting out and slamming the door. I felt their eyes on me as I walked into the building. I walked past a few different crowds of people. Some dressed in all black, others in jeans and boots, and of course there were the cheerleaders.

I'm wearing a metallica tshirt and my jeans with red converse, I've yet to see a crowd that I think would take me in, so I just kept walking. I pulled out the piece of paper that had the list of classes on it. First period is English. Easy. I looked at the number and looked around at the numbers on the doors in the hallway, trying to figure out if I was going in the right direction, guess I should have been looking in front of me instead, because the next thing I knew I was smacking into someone, a string of apologies ran out of my mouth as I looked up and met a face of disgust.

"Oh my god… watch where the hell you're going!" The bleach blonde yelled to me, catching the attention of the people around us. She was in a cheerleading uniform and wore the most goddy red lipstick I have ever seen.

"I said sorry." I said flatly.

"Yeah well bump into me again and you really will be." She threatened as she pushed past me. I scoffed and watched as her possy of Barbie dolls followed behind her.

Great. Making friends already. I kept walking and finally found my first class, it was mostly full but there was thankfully a seat in the back, I'm a back row kinda person anyways.

I looked around. The teacher was young, probably ditsy as well. The kids around me were a mix of interesting and boring. The kid with the Mohawk though, seriously. He's gotta have a good story or two to tell. The brainiacs on the other side are taking turns staring at me. Right as the bell rang a group of football players came running in the door. They filled the remaining seats around me. That is until one of them walked up to me and laid his books down on my desk.

"Hey. You're in my seat. Move." He said. I looked at him like he was crazy.

"Yo. You deaf? This is my seat." He repeated. What a dick. Just sit in the empty one thats one isle over.

"Is that why it smells like sweat and Cheetos?" I asked snarkily. Everyone around us snickered.

"Listen here bit-" the boy started.

"Pete! Just sit over there and leave the poor girl alone." Another player said. I waited until pete walked away and broke off our stare down first. Dean taught me to never back down. I looked up to the guy sitting in front of me. He looked at me and slightly smiled. He was gorgeous. Long hair that almost touched the collar on his shirt, straight though, not like Sam's. He had these blue eyes that you could literally fall into. I should probably look away but I'm not sure I can.

"Metallica huh?" He asked me.

"Yeah. Metallica." I said back with a smile pulling at my lips.

"I'm Luke."

"Emily."

"Well Emily. Rule number one, don't piss off Pete. Guy's like the hulk, I'd hate to see you get your day ruined." He whispered to me.

"Actually I think my day was just made." I said coyly. He Smiled.

"Welcome to Halltown High Emily." He said before turning around.

"Hey Luke…" I said getting his attention again.

"Can I borrow a pen?" I asked with a grin. He grinned back and handed me the pen is hand.

OMG. I want him…. When he turned his cologne smelt heavenly. Its definitely expensive. While the rest of the class spent the next hour learning about Edgar Allen Poe I spent the next hour staring at the heart melting creature in front of me.

The rest of the morning was pretty uneventful. Math… Science… even lunch was pretty boring. I walked around mostly. Trying to eavesdrop and see if anyone was talking about the most recent death, but it was 2 weeks ago, guess its old news. I only caught wind of a couple of conversations. Apparently the kid that was killed last was a real piece of work, a bully sort of speak. I walked past a table full of boys in football jerseys, one in particular caught my eye. Luke. But what really caught my eye was the bleach blonde cheerleader with bright red lipstick sitting damn near in his lap. Of course. I remember Alec… I remember him telling me about his highschool and growing up in a small town. I guess this is what he meant. I stopped and looked around the room, seeing the dozens of people split off into groups. Where would I fit in here? Who would claim me? The jocks? The nerds? The goths? The stoners? The hicks?... I don't think I'd fit in with any of them. Instead of standing there dwelling in my lack of belonging I decided to walk outside and found a shady seat under a tree out in front of the building. It was peaceful. I ate the sandwich I bought and observed.

My last class of the day was PE. Thank goodness! Something I know I'm good at. Dad has been training us since we were young. Whatever it is we're doing, I guarantee you I can beat the majority of people in here. When I walked in the gym I noticed the boys on one side playing basketball, and there he was again… Luke. Not only do I get to start my day looking at that face but I get to end it that way too? Highschool might not be so bad afterall. But my face quickly fell when I looked over to where the girls were gathering and noticed that at least half the cheerleading squad was there, including blondie.

I walked up and sat at the bottom of the bleachers, as far away from them as possible, but I could still hear them.

"Oh my god… that's the girl that Pete almost got.." One squealed loudly.

"I heard she's from a psych ward… her family dropped her off here because they were afraid of her. Pete better be careful.." Another whispered loudly.

"Tiffany isn't that the girl that bumped into you today?! I hope she doesn't have a disease."

"Ugh. Tell me about it, I've showered twice today already."

So. Queen bitch has a name. Tiffany. I was leaning towards Satan, but Tiffany works too…

I finally got tired of listening to the rumors and stood up and turned to face them.

"Okay. Lets get something straight. 1. None of you bimbos know how to whisper. 2. The closest I've ever been to a psych ward is this god forsaken high school I'm stuck in. and 3. Bump into ME again, and I guarantee you'll be the one that's fucking sorry. Got it Tiff?" I asked with a mock smile at the end.

They all sat shocked, but Tiffany soon stood and walked down the steps to stand at the one above me, as if towering over me would intimidate me.

"You better watch who you're talking to like that new girl… You're making enemies in all the wrong places. I run this school. I'll make your life a living hell." She said.

"Honey. I've been through hell and fought my way back. You don't scare me." I laughed.

She was fixing to say something else but the blow of a whistle from the coach interrupted us, she pointed and sent us to get changed in the locker rooms. Tiffany pushed past me and all her little trolls followed. I lingered for a minute, then I glanced over to Luke. He was watching. No doubt he saw the whole thing go down… great. I'm sure I've just insulted his girlfriend. I looked down and walked into the locker room to change, being sure to avoid Satan and her minions while we were in there.

We spent the next hour playing volleyball, I'd never played before but caught on quickly. I was honestly more distracted by the boys playing basketball on the other side of the gym. Watching Luke. His arms… they were muscular and long. His long hair got dark around his face as the sweat began to reach it. I thought my heart would literally fall to the ground watching him. He's just fucking gorgeous. Coach ended the game and the whistle caught the attention of the boys, Luke looked over and met my gaze. Shit. I'm busted. I blushed and looked away, when I looked back up though he smiled at me. I turned and made my way to the locker room to change again. FINALLY THE DAY IS OVER!

I walked down the stairs in the front of the school and smiled as I heard the rumble of impala coming down the road. I strutted down the stairs and noticed Luke and his group of friends standing off to the side. I glanced at him and caught him looking at me, I looked back forward and smiled when I knew my face was out of his sight. I jumped in the backseat and when I looked up I noticed both of the boys staring at me.

"Ummm… did I miss something?" I asked confused.

"No… just thought you'd still be pissed when we picked you up." Sam admitted.

"Well. I'm not. So can we leave now." I asked with my eyebrows raised. They turned around and Dean led us back to the motel.

"Make any friends today?" Sam asked.

"Well If you can count pissing off the entire cheerleading squad as making friends then yeah. I did." I said sarcastically.

Sam looked at me with pity and turned back around. I know he wants me to have a normal life… he wants me to have what he had for a while. He wanted me to want this…. And part of me does. I spent the whole day not looking for what was trying to kill me next... it was easy.

"So did you two find anything out?" I asked over dinner.

"Not really. Apparently the first kid drowned the bathtub, the second one got his foot caught under the lawn mower, and this most recent one managed to fall out a window. Like I said. All freak accidents. Just trying to find some connection." Sam explained.

"Well I didn't hear much today either, but I did hear someone talking about the last kid that died. Apparently he was a hell of a bully. Gave people a really hard time, so I could imagine he probably made some enemies." I replied.

"Well. Tomorrows gonna come early kiddo. Get some sleep…" Dean said as he stood up from the table.

That night it was his turn to share a bed. I crawled in and told him goodnight. But instead of saying it back he turned over to face me.

"Em. Why were you so cheery when we picked you up today?"

"Dean I wasn't cheery… I just wasn't pissed at you anymore."

"It's a boy isn't it?" He asked me with a serious face.

"Dean. Go to sleep." I said rolling over, dammit he knows me too well.

The next morning came wayyy too early again. The boys got me up at 5 so we could sneak around the gym a little and sweep it with the EMF. We didn't find much of anything, we headed for the locker room but there was already someone there so instead we bailed and ran back to the front of the school where Baby was parked.

"Well… Class doesn't start for another hour and a half. What now?" I asked catching my breath.

"Food?" Dean said.

"Food." I agreed.

I damn near nodded off in the five minutes it took us to get to the diner.

"Here Em." Sam said sliding me a cup of coffee. I love him. I held it in my hands up close to my nose and breathed in that amazing smell. Too bad it tastes like shit.

"I don't know why you give her that… she's just gonna waste it." Dean mumbled.

"Hey. Fuck off. It makes me happy." I said matter of factly. Sam laughed and Dean rolled his eyes.

"What can I get for you?" The pretty waitress said as she walked over to the table.

Dean proceeded with some cheesy ass pickup line, which of course caused her to giggle and bat her eyes. Sam and I sat in annoyed silence until I was irritated enough to speak up.

"I'll take the pancakes, two eggs scrambled, and turkey sausage. Thanks." I interrupted, holding out my menu with a smile. She first looked at me like I had a third eye, then she wrote down my order and took Sam and Deans.

"Dammit Em. You know you're a really shitty wing man sometimes." Dean grumbled at me.

"I told you that you were gonna pay for that shit yesterday." I said with a grin. Smelling the hot coffee between my hands.

"Okay Em. We need you to get in the locker room today. Sweep it and see if we get a hit." Sam said handing me the EMF meter that looks like an ipod.

"How the hell am I supposed to get into the guy's locker room?" I asked reaching for it.

"You're a Winchester. You'll figure it out." Dean said as the waitress came back and set our food down in front of us. He winked at her and she got a wide grin. Oh please….

The boys dropped me off out front again. I was sure to wear my long sleeve cleavage friendly black V-neck today, with my usual jeans and monochrome black converse. Today I pulled my hair into a cute twist in the back and pinned the bangs up in a poof. I was sure to add a little extra color to my face and brighten my eyes. Honestly I was really just hoping Luke would spend a few minutes longer staring at me.

I walked- strutted up the steps past the same groups of people, keeping my eyes away from the jocks, don't want to make it obvious. When I walked past them I could barely catch Luke turning his head out the corner of my eye.

I had some time to kill before class so I went to the one person who might actually have some information about what's happening around here. I went to the janitor's room in the basement. I slowly opened the door and began to look around, seeing if he had anything interesting hiding down here. I was fixing to leave empty handed when something spooked me.

"Hey!" He shouted.

"Sorry! I uhh… I was supposed to let you know the girls bathroom needs paper towels." I lied quickly.

"What the hell are you looking for?" The old man asked me. You could tell he had been here a while, he had old pictures of people in the front of the school up on the walls.

"Honestly?" I asked him, leaning against the desk as he walked in and shut the door.

"Yeah." He grumbled crossing his arms.

"What do you know about the kid that just died?"

"Look kid… I don't know what you're looking for but you're not going to find much of anything down here. All I know is some people get whats coming to em."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked crossing my own arms.

"I'm just saying… those kids. All three of em. Had reputations. They weren't exactly the friendliest people in town."

"Gotcha. Thanks." I said getting up and leaving, I walked straight to my English class. Walking in just before the bell. I looked to see Pete back in his usual seat behind Luke, but the one beside him was open. I took a seat and looked up to meet his gaze, I gave him a small smile and looked back down, pulling out a pen and paper. It wasn't long again before I felt eyes on me. I glanced in his direction. BUSTED! I giggled.

The rest of the class and the rest of my morning went by uneventfully again. At lunch I grabbed a kit kat and a water bottle and began walking towards the door to sit outside.

"Well that seems nutritious." A voice from behind me called out. I turned and found Luke grinning at me.

"Yeah well, I ain't sweating the calories." I said before turning to walk away again.

"Hey. Wait up.." I kept going but didn't miss it when he was suddenly walking alongside me.

"I thought you had a designated lunch spot, you know, over there with all the Kens and Barbies." I said as I pointed to the table that was filled with jocks and cheerleaders. One blonde in particular was watching us.

"I think they'll survive without me for an hour." He said grinning.

"Sure your girlfriend won't mind?"

"I don't have a girlfriend." He said matter of factly.

"Might want to explain that to Tiffany…" I said gesturing over to where she was glaring at us.

"Tiffany doesn't seem to take the hint…" He mumbled as we walked out the door.

"So Emily. I'm going to guess you're not actually from the psych ward, so where are you from?" He asked. I giggled.

"All over I guess. My family travels for work."

"Wow that must be cool, I bet you get to see a lot of things other people don't."

"Yeah…" If only you knew.

"What about you? Have you always called Halltown home?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Born and raised. Both of my parents were too… Dad played on the football team when he was a kid, so of course I was enrolled in pee wee by the time I could walk." He said making me laugh.

"So… I heard there's been some crazy shit going on lately." I said quietly.

Luke looked at me then looked down sadly.

"Yeah. A few guys have died. Crazy accidents… I mean. I've known em since I was little. No ones perfect but they were good guys when you got down to it." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have asked."

"No, its okay. Its kinda nice to talk to someone who didn't know them from before hand. Everyone else has decided they deserved it. But. No one deserves that."

"Yeah. I know what you mean."

He looked up to me and I swear I could have fainted his eyes were so dark blue. We sat in silence for who knows how long, just looking at each other. He finally pulled away and looked down.

"So um. Emily. I know your new here and all, but the Proms this weekend. I may or may not have an extra ticket." He said

"OH." I said surprised.

"Luke I… I don't really do pro-"

"Just. Think about it. Here…" He said handing me a small piece of paper, I took it and he walked away with a grin. I waited till he was out of sight before looking down at the paper in my hands, its his phone number. Smooth Casanova… real smooth.

I had history next, then it was quickly onto PE. I walked in and went to the locker room to change.

"Hey." A voice called causing me to turn around. Its Satan, oops. I mean Tiffany.

"What do you want now?" I asked turning back around putting my clothes in the locker.

"Lets get one thing straight… Luke is off limits. I'll be damned if some freak is gonna walk in here off the street and try and take him away from me." She warned grabbing my shoulder and turning me to face her. Oh bitch…. You are SO pushing it.

"Touch me like that one more time and I swear… you're gonna be picking up teeth off the fucking floor. Get that straight bitch." I turned and said pushing her against the lockers.

My whole body was shaking. I was on the verge of flipping shit and beating the ever living hell out of her, but unfortunately the coach walked in and broke us apart. She sent us out to the gym, to my surprise the boys were sitting in the middle of the floor, we were told to go sit with them.

"Okay ladies and gents. This here is called a pull up bar. We're gonna have a little friendly competition. Guys versus girls. Who can hold themselves up the longest. We want the top guy and the top girl, they'll face off head to head. Winning gender gets a free pass on class tomorrow."

"Come on coach, you know this isn't fair. No way in hell are girls stronger than guys." Pete yelled. The boys all laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"Well then Pete. Your up." Coach called. Pete walked up to the bar and jumped up grabbing onto it, he was easily able to lift himself up and place his chin on the top of the bar. Pete was large and built, he was strong no doubt, but what he didn't realize is that being so heavy plays against you on a pull up bar, and let me tell you. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. It wasn't long before his size caught up to him and he dropped down. They called up a few more boys, all of them not lasting but a couple of minutes at the most. Then they started with a few of the girls, weaklings. They pulled a chair under the bar so the girls could grab on instead of jumping on. One of them literally held on for 10 seconds before dropping down and whining about almost breaking a nail. Bitch please.

Next up was Luke. He walked up to the bar and jumped up to grab it. He easily pulled his chin up over the bar and I watched as his eyes wondered and landed on mine. I don't even know how long he lasted, but it was a long time. Because our stare never broke. I could barely see his face starting to twitch as he struggled towards the end. He finally let go and dropped to the ground, the boys all cheered for him. Guess he was up there pretty long. Not long enough if you ask me.

Next up was a couple of the girls from the cheer squad. Then it was Tiffany's turn. She smiled as she climbed up on the chair and reached for the bar. She's definitely a top of the pyramid kinda of girl, probably the one thrown into the air too. I imagine she's not the muscle of the squad. I was right. She held on for maybe a minute before she let go. All her little minions cheered for her and she confidently winked at Luke before sitting back down. A few more guys went, then another couple of girls. Last but not least this left me and a couple of the boys.

"Emily. You're up." Called the coach. I thought about kicking away the chair, but why be cocky? So instead I climbed up on the chair and grabbed the bar. I'm 5'2 and a size 8. I've got some weight on me, but what no one here realizes is that underneath its all muscle. I grabbed the bar and lifted my feet for them to move the chair out from under me. I crossed and lifted my ankles, a trick none of the other girls knew but I had caught a few guys doing it. I looked up and pulled my chin up over the bar, setting in there and locking eyes with Luke. I could feel the burn, but the intense blue in front of me kept me distracted. I was able to hold on longer than I thought I could. I finally started to feel myself slip and let go, dropping down on my feet, a few of the boys including Luke clapped. Impressed by my strength. I walked back to the girls and winked at Tiffany before sitting down in the back again. She turned to glare at me while the last couple of boys went.

"Alright. Winner for the boys, Luke." The boys cheered and Luke went to stand up by the coach.

"And, winner for the girls is… Emily." I smiled and stood walking to stand next to Luke.

"Alright you two, decide how you wanna do this. The timer starts when you both have your chins over the bar." Coach said before stepping back.

"Well. Looks like its just you and me." Luke smiled.

"Yeah yeah Romeo." I said with a half smile.

"Grab on and pull up on 3?" He asked me.

"Lets do it." I said nodding. We walked up to the bar and the coach pulled a chair around for me.

"No thanks. Don't need it." I said never taking my eyes off of Luke. He looked surprised and the boys began to say "oooh" as if I had just increased the challenge.

"You sure?" Luke asked quietly where the others couldn't hear.

"What's wrong? Afraid a girl will beat you?" I whispered. He laughed.

"Just don't embarrass me too badly." He whispered back.

We both nodded and jumped up to grab the bar.

"1… 2.. 3." He counted out and we both pulled and laid our chins on top of the bar. This time I shut my eyes. Knowing he wasn't in the crowd to distract me any longer. I tried to focus in on my breathing. Deep. Slow. In and out. We were both solid for the first minute or so, then I could hear his faint grunts. I too was starting to really feel the burn. I readjusted my grip a few times as did he. I finally opened my eyes and looked out and instantly caught the glare of Satan. It was enough to push me to hold on just a little bit longer as I felt Luke slipping beside me. Come on… just drop already dammit. My hands felt like they were on fire. I began to slip when FINALLY Luke let go. I instantly let go as well, knowing that I only had to hold on longer than him. Some of the girls began to cheer and the boys got all worked up teasing Luke. I turned to catch him smiling at me.

"Nice job Emily. I'm impressed."

"You should be." I said before I winked and walked away, the girls all stood and we walked towards the locker room to change.

I changed and walked out to the front to meet the boys.

"You get anything from the locker room?" Dean asked as soon as I got in.

"No. Couldn't get in. But I should be able to tomorrow. What about you two?"

"Well. Actually turns out the school had another death about a year ago. A kid committed suicide, according to his parents. He couldn't take the bullying any longer."

"So we're thinking vengeful spirit then?"

"Yeah. Think so kiddo… So was today any better?" Sam asked.

"I kicked ass and showed up everyone on the pull up bar, and then I almost beat the shit out of satan."

"Satan?" he asked with eyebrows raised.

"Well technically her name is Tiffany and she wears a cheerleading uniform, but I don't see much of a difference." I explained.

"Well. It won't be much longer Em. Just try not to kill anyone for now okay?" Dean asked.

"Yeah yeah yeah… I guess." I mumbled as we pulled back up to the motel.

The next morning when I woke up it was bright outside. I turned to look at the clock. It was 10:23. SHIT! I overslept. I definitely missed English too. Dammit!

"Dude. What the hell have you seen what time it is?! I asked jumping up and seeing both the boys sipping on coffee at the table.

They both looked at me shocked by my outburst.

"Em… We thought we'd let you sleep in a little bit and take you in late, we already called the school. I thought you'd be happy?" Sam said.

"No! I'm not! I need to go to first block! I gotta… I need.. Dammit!" I said getting out of the bed.

"Whoa whoa whoa… Kiddo. What the hell is so important about English class?" Dean asked.

"Its.. I. Its just important that I be there." I said digging through my bag for clean clothes.

"Wait a second. Is this about a boy?" Dean asked standing up and walking over to me.

"What? No!" I said not looking up to Dean.

"Emily Anne you look at me right now…" Dean said amused by my flustered appearance while I dig through the bag.

Instead of looking up to him I looked over to Sam.

"Sammy. Control him. Please." I said before looking back into the bag.

"I don't know Em. I kinda think he's right…" Sam said teasingly.

I huffed and before I knew what was happening Dean threw himself on the bed on top of my bag grinning.

"Dean! Move!" I whined. Still avoiding looking at him.

"Not till you look at me."

"Fine! Fine… it's a boy! Happy now?!" I finally shouted looking between Sam and Dean.

"Man. Em. Come on… you're supposed to be hunting for ghosts, not boyfriends." Dean said standing up.

"Oh come on. I'm not boyfriend hunting. I've just… managed to find someone fun to look at while I'm stuck in high school hell." I said matter of factly.

"Just…. Get dressed." Dean mumbled walking back over to sit by Sam. They did that thing where they talk without speaking.

"You realize I HATE it when you two do that…"

"Its just. Em. We kinda thought maybe you'd wanna stay away from guys for a while… after what happened and all." Sam said carefully.

For some reason his words hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn't know if I felt offended or guilty. Or both… I knew what I did would change the way they think of me.

"You think I'm trying to get some guy in my pants Sam?" I asked quietly looking at the ground.

"No. Em. That's not-"

"Yeah. No.. You're right. Just forget I said anything." I mumbled looking at the floor and turning to walk to the bathroom.

"Kiddo… I didn't mean it like that." Sam said realizing he had hurt my feelings. But I just walked in the bathroom and closed the door.

The hot shower felt good. Sam's right. The last time I was with a guy things ended pretty dramatically. But the last thing I needed was for him to bring it up… I was in a bad place when all that went down. I wasn't thinking clearly. Luke… its different. Then again. Maybe its not. Maybe I am a whore…

I dressed and didn't bother drying my hair. I was late enough as it is, the natural curl and wave would have to do for today.

When I walked back out I went straight out to the impala. Dean followed out but not Sam. I got in the passenger side and shut the door.

"Em.." Dean said as he started up the impala. "You know he didn't mean anything by it."

"I know Dean." I said staring forward out the windshield.

"So then why do you look like you're doing everything you can not to burst into tears." He said pulling my chin to look at him.

"Because I am…." I whispered as I began to feel the sting in my eyes.

I scooted over in the seat and tucked myself into his side, into my safe zone. He wrapped his large arm all the way around me.

"De... I hate it. I still feel like such a screw up. I wish I never went to that stupid bar. I don't want Sammy to think I'm a whore."

"He doesn't! Kiddo… you can't let this thing haunt you. It was one bad decision. You can pick up and move on from it. There's gonna be other guys Em. There's gonna be more times where you're tempted. You gotta decide whether or not you're going to let this thing ruin it for you or if you're gonna learn from it and move on."

"Since when are you okay with me being intimate with someone…" I mumbled surprised.

"Oh. I'm not. Trust me. But I'd be a bad brother if I let you believe sex was going to be like that every time. Cause it's not. Just don't go finding out anytime soon okay?" He asked.

"Okay." I chuckled. He squeezed me tightly. Dean drove me to school while I stayed tucked against him, when we got there he hugged me and I pecked him on the cheek.

"Thanks De. Love you."

"Love you too Kiddo. Be good. No beating the shit outta cheerleaders!" He said pointing a finger at me.

"I'll try." I said winking and walking away.

When I got there I only had one class left before lunch. It went by slowly as possible. Then it was finally lunch. I got in line, grabbed a snickers and a water and began to walk towards the door.

"And where were you this morning?" Luke called as he jumped in front of me and opened the door.

"I uh, overslept." I said with a small smile before looking back down and walking over to my tree.

"You okay Emily?" Luke asked, I looked up to him and could have melted. He genuinely looked like he cared.

"Yeah, just a long morning. Did I miss anything interesting?" I asked putting on a fake smile.

"Nahh. Just Pete snoring in class." He said, we both laughed.

"So what sport do you play?" He asked me.

"I'm sorry?" I asked confused.

"What sport… you didn't get those muscles from sitting around painting your nails. So what do you do?"

"Um. Actually none. My dad was a marine, I have two big brothers, our family is really into hunting and outdoors kinda stuff."

"Well, you should know that I totally let you win, I just didn't wanna show you up too bad." He said mockingly.

"Ha! Yeah I bet…" I laughed.

"Emily can I tell you something?" He said suddenly sitting up straight and looking serious.

"Sure…" I said slowly.

"I don't get you. You wander in here from who knows where, you don't give two shits about blending in or standing out. Your stronger than half the guys on the team, yet prettier than any girl in this school… and you definitely have better taste in music. When you didn't show up for class this morning. I honestly felt bummed. I didn't realize how much I wanted to see you till you weren't there. And I've only known you for two days. I just… I don't get it."

My heart felt like it had wings. How do you respond to something as amazing as that.

"Umm.. I don't know." I said puzzled and flattered.

"Go to prom with me." He said straight out.

I sat and looked at him for a long minute.

"Well you don't leave much room for a girl to say no." I said smiling, he smiled back.

"Okay. I'll go." I said.

He leaned forward and kissed me. Okay. Now my whole body feels like it has wings. Seriously?! How can someone be that gorgeous and kiss that well?! Its just not fair to the rest of the human race.

The bell rang and he stood and reached out his hand to help me off the ground. He kissed me again and said he'd see me later. I stood there and watched him walk away, as he fell out of sight someone else fell into it. Satan. Lovely. She was glaring at me as if willing me to burst into flames. I'm sure she saw every bit of what just happened.

PE was free period for the girls since I won yesterday. We were allowed to do whatever- homework, shoot hoops, practice cheers, take a nap. But for me, it was a great time to sneak into the boys locker room, they were outside on the baseball field for the next hour. I quietly waited till they were all outside and for the girls' coach to be distracted, which took a solid 30 minutes or so. Tiffany and the minions were in the corner practicing and thankfully I was able to avoid her for now. I slowly made my way behind the bleachers and snuck my way over to the other side of the gym, I looked around to make sure no one was watching before I darted through the doorway and pulled out the homemade EMF scanner.

Geez it smells funny in here. I walked around and scanned the showers, the benches, the equiptment storage, and then I started on the lockers. I was down to the last row and hadn't found jack shit. When I found Luke's name on a locker I suddenly got curious. Hmm… It was unlocked so I slowly pulled it open and glanced inside, it was his clothes, his cologne- super expensive by the way, and there was a few pictures taped up on the inside. I leaned in to get a closer look, one of them had all three of the boys that passed, Pete, Luke, and another boy from the team I'd seen around. Guess they were all pretty good friends.

"Hey, what are you doing in here?" A voice called causing me to damn near jump out of my skin. I slammed the door and turned to see the entire class walking back into the locker room, OH SHIT!

"I.. I Uh.. I" I stuttered as they filled the entry way, soon Luke walked in and looked at me puzzled.

"Luke! I was. Um. I was looking for you… I-I needed to know what color to get for prom?" I asked awkwardly trying to cover my ass. Fucking shit dude! He probably thinks I'm a crazy person and won't even wanna go after all this…

"Umm… Blue?" He said slowly.

"Okay! Blue! Great! Um… I'll see you later then… bye boys." I said as I awkwardly pushed my way through the crowd with cheeks red as fire. How mortifying…..

I quickly made my way to our locker room and changed at the speed of lightning. I damn near ran for the front of the school. I was almost out the door when suddenly I heard a strange noise… the EMF. What the hell? I reached around and dug into my bag pulling it out and looking around to make sure no one was watching. I walked around and when the signaled picked up I looked in front of me. On the wall was a row of glass cases. Each one had a memorial for kids who passed away while attending the school. The last three were the newest, for the football players. But the one before them had collected a little dust, it wasn't old, but it had been there a while. I walked closer to it and the EMF went insane.

"Well then…" I mumbled. It was the memorial for the boy who killed himself last year, the same one Sam and Dean were betting on to be the vengeful spirit. Guess they were right. I tucked away the EMF and made my way out to the front to the beautiful parked impala at the bottom of the steps. I opened the door and slid over to the middle of the backseat then I leaned forward.

"Okay boys. I didn't find shit in the locker room… except for a bunch of boys who busted me digging around. Thanks for that… BUT. There are memorials set up in the hall for the kids who died, guess who's lit up like a Christmas tree?" I asked with one eyebrow raised.

"The suicide kid?" Dean asked.

"Winner winner chicken dinner!" I said with a smile.

"Well, I guess we've got some salting and burning to do. I'll dig around tomorrow and find out where the kid is buried."

"Hey Em, I just wanted to say sorry for this morning. I never meant to upset you kiddo." Sam said.

"Its okay Sammy. I know." I leaned forward and landed a kiss on his cheek.

"Sooo…. Before we go back to the motel I kinda need to go somewhere."

"Sure where?" Sam said.

"Um. I need a dress… for.. prom…." I said quietly as possible, but Dean still heard it and slammed on the breaks. He slowly turned to look at me.

"I'm sorry… did I just hear the word "prom" come out of your mouth?" He asked.

"Um. Yeah I uhhh… kinda said I'd go with. That… boy." I said as casually as possible.

"No." Dean said shortly and began driving again.

"What?!"

"I said no. NO way. You're not going to prom." Dean demanded.

"Dean! I said I'd go!"

"Well sorry. Tel him you changed your mind." Dean said unsympathetically.

"Dean maybe we should let her go…" Sam said softly.

"Sam. NO. Prom ends in one of two ways… pretty girls crying outside, or getting laid in some hotel room. Neither of which am I going to let her be." He said to Sam and not me.

"Dean. You and I both know I'm not gonna get laid, and I'll be fine! He's a nice guy! I'm not asking to marry the kid… I'm just asking to go to prom. I mean. When am I ever gonna get this chance again. YOU are the one who enrolled me in this damn school. YOU were the one who tried to sway me by talking about living a normal life for a few days. Well this is normal Dean. And I WANT to go… Please." I begged with the best puppy dog eyes I could muster. He looked back at me in the mirror and sighed.

"Fine…" He grumbled.

I smiled and Sam winked at me. Dean drove us into town and we found the closest dress store.

"Hello, how can I help yall?" The woman asked when we walked in the door.

"Umm. I need a prom dress." I said.

"Oh hunny, we're all but wiped out. Prom is just a day or so away and most of what we had has been sold, but you're more than welcome to try on whatever you find." She said leading us over to the racks. She wasn't lying. It looks like half of the store was missing, but there were still a lot of dresses left. I walked over to the rack that held my size and began looking through them.

"Any specific color Em?" Sam asked.

"Blue."

"Are you wanting short or long?"

"Long." Dean answered before I could even open my mouth. I turned to look at him. He was pouting in the corner.

"I guess I'd like long Sam." I said turning back to the rack of dresses. I kept seeing pink… red… black. Lots of fufu and ruffles. I'm not a ruffles kinda girl. I was getting worried I wouldn't find one when Sam caught my attention.

"Hey Em. What about this one?"

I walked over and pulled the dress off the rack. It was beautiful midnight blue covered in a sparkly fabric that caught the light every time it barely moved. It had long sleeves but was open in the back. It really was beautiful.

"Excuse me maam, can I get a room?" I called over to her, she led me to a room and I took in the dress. It was easy to slide on and off and fit snuggly, but it hugged in all the right places. I opened the door and walked out to the mirrors.

"Whoa… Em. That looks amazing." Sam said. I turned and looked at him and blushed.

"De?" I said as if asking his permission and what he thought about it all at once.

When I turned to look at him he had this expression… I can't quite place my finger on it. He almost looked sad but happy at the same time?

"There's no way in hell this guy did anything to deserve a date as beautiful as you kiddo." Dean said never breaking eye contact. I smiled and my cheeks flushed bright red. I have two amazing big brothers.

"It's a little long, I don't suppose you know anyone who can alter this thing overnight do you?" I turned and asked the woman.

"No. I don't, but I could recommend a good pair of shoes." She said handing me gold sparkling stilettos. The heel was just enough to keep me from walking on the dress, and I was even able to find some dangly earrings to wear as well. I was a little shocked at the price but Dean just handed over a credit card without blinking. It's a damn good thing we don't pay these bills. We bagged up and headed back to the motel.

I texted Luke: Got the dress, better not leave me without a date. ;)

He instantly replied: How could I go without the prettiest girl in the world?

I giggled and smiled to myself.

I texted back: Better go find her, I guess I'll have to stay home.

He replied: You're such a smartass. See you tomorrow. :*

I smiled and went back to munching on the fries and chicken strips on the table in front of me. I looked up and caught both my brothers watching me.

"What?"

"You. Your just so… giggly. You know we're gonna have to meet this guy first right?" Dean said.

"What?! Why?" I asked quickly.

"Because we're not letting you go out with someone we've never met." Sam said as if it was common sense.

"Come on… asking some guy to meet you two is like torture. The poor guy doesn't stand a chance." I whined.

"Emily we're not that bad." Sam said, but then he looked up to Dean and back to me. "Well… I'm not that bad."

"Fine." I huffed. "I'll have him come early to pick me up."

We went to bed that night and I was more than willing to get up the next morning to get to see Luke. I quickly made my way to class and smiled when I walked in and found the seat next to him vacant. I made my way over there and sat down, he turned and leaned over towards me.

"So. Where am I picking you up at tomorrow night?"

"Well we're staying at the motel while we're finding a more permanent place." I lied.

"Okay. I'll be there at 7?"

"Um… actually could you come a little earlier? My brothers kinda wanna meet you first." I said nervously.

"Yeah. Sure. Is there anything I should know before I get there?"

"Um. They're huge. Dean loves classic rock. He's the scarier one. If you're gonna impress him it'll be based on cars or music. Sams a lot nicer, but even bigger. He's smart, went to Stanford. Anything related to good literature impresses him."

"Wow. Polar opposites huh?" He asked.

"Yeahhh.."

"So where do you fit into all that."

"Right in the middle, look. You're kinda… the first guy I've ever brought to meet them. I usually sneak around behind their backs. But there was no way to get a dress without telling them. So… I'm sorry. In advance. For whatever they might say."

"Oh come on it won't be that bad." He said.

"Yeah…" I sighed. He suddenly looked nervous.

The day went by quickly. That is until Tiffany cornered me in the locker room.

"So I heard Luke asked you to the prom…" She said as her minions gathered around us.

"You heard right." I smirked.

"Let me make myself crystal clear. If you show up with him tomorrow night. You're gonna regret it. Do him and yourself a favor and stay home. Luke was supposed to take me, not some piece of trash that rolled in off the street."

I laughed.

"Oh hunny… if only you knew how pathetic and meaningless your life really is. You think you scare me? I've faced things you've never even thought of seeing in your worst nightmares. You're nothing but rainbows and unicorns compared to them. I could have you flat on your back with a broken nose in the time it takes you to blink. So DON'T come at me again. This is YOUR final warning… See you at the Prom." I pushed her and walked past to get out the door. My whole body shaking. It took everything in me not to lay her ass out. But the last thing I need is to get in trouble and not be allowed to go tomorrow night.

I walked to the impala and climbed in the front seat. It was just Dean this afternoon.

"Whoa where's the fire." He asked noticing my frustration.

"Just drive before I get out and splatter cheerleading brains all over the walls."

"I don't know why you let them get to you… they're just jealous."

"They don't get to me. The fact that I can't beat their faces in gets to me." I said truthfully.

Dean laughed.

"So now that you've lived it for a few days… think you'd ever wanna life like this?" Dean asked.

"I don't know De. I mean… Its so easy. Get up. Go to school. Come home… do it all again. Its routine and simple… and safe. Its. So polar opposite of everything I've ever known."

"You know kiddo… we could always try and stay. Make a home base. Still hunt but stay local."

"Dean… I don't know. I don't wanna think about it right now." I said honestly.

Would he honestly give up the life for me? Does he want me to have this? Do I even want this? I mean I've been here what… 4 days? All of this felt really heavy on my mind.

That night I tried to sleep but I couldn't. I just tossed and turned. Dean and Sam left to salt and burn the bones of that kid a couple of hours ago, assuming I'd be asleep when they got back.

"What are you still doing up kiddo?" Sam asked when they walked through the door.

"Can't sleep." I admitted.

"Excited for tomorrow?" He asked.

"Yeah… maybe."

"What's wrong Em."

"I don't know… just feels. Like this is all. Different. I wish daddy was here." I whispered. I really did wish my daddy was here. I wish I could take prom pictures with him there, I wish he could be the one to meet my date, I wish that I knew we would be back on the road and driving to see him in a couple of days. I wish I knew what I wanted. Without daddy everythings changed. Hunting has changed… Now its us. We decide when and where we wanna go, no more taking orders. So what the hell do I want?

"Me too." He whispered back.

"Well come on, lets get to bed. You gotta get some sleep." Sam said as he stood and reached out his hand. Sam put me to sleep like he did when we were little. I swear. Works like a charm every time. When I woke up again it was bright outside. I reached for my phone. Two missed texts.

Luke: Can't wait to see you tonight.

Luke: What are you doing?

I replied: I was sleeping. You know since its Saturday and all. I didn't have to get up at the ass crack of dawn.

A minute later the phone buzzed: Early bird gets the worm. ;)

I giggled again, then I looked up for my brothers. Dean was sitting in front of the tv drinking a beer. Sam at the table on his laptop.

"So I forgot to ask how last night went." I said climbing out of the bed.

"Eh, dig it up, salt it, burn it, bury it again." Dean said not looking away from whatever he was watching.

"Whatcha doing Sammy?" I said sitting on the couch and leaning against Dean.

"Looking for our next case."

"Oh… Find anything?"

"Not yet."

If he finds one does that mean we're leaving… or are we staying? If we're staying then for how long?

I laid my head on Dean's lap and proceeded to spend the next hour watching Jerry Springer. Dean was obviously intrigued, quite frankly I found it trashy.

After I a while I got up and took a shower, then we ran and got lunch. After lunch I figured it was time to start getting ready. God knows I have no clue what to do with this head full of hair. I began digging through my stuff and realized the only thing I have is a straightener, a hair brush, hair spray, and about 2 thousand bobby pins thrown in the bottom of my duffle.

"Hey Sam. Let me borrow your computer real fast."

"What for?" He asked.

"I need to look something up." I said with a duhh tone.

He rolled his eyes at me and pushed it towards me. I sat down at the table and looked up videos on how to curl your hair with a straightener, turns out it doesn't look too hard.

I spent the next two and a half hours carefully curling every piece of my hair, then I was able to gather an array of bobby pins and pin the curls up, leaving a few free hanging strands. I was honestly impressed with myself.

My make up didn't take near as long. I went with dark blue and gold eyeshadows to match my dress and accessories. The colors made my brown eyes pop. The black liner and mascara helped as well, I went with a dark maroon lipstick, setting it off as an evening look, not just a day to day make up. I put on the earrings and then it was time for the dress. I walked out of the bathroom and went to pull it from its plastic.

"Geez Em I've been waiting hours to pee and you're not even ready yet?" Dean said.

"Hey. Beauty takes time asshole. Its not like I do this everyday. It took a while to figure out."

"Yeah yeah yeah…" Dean grumbled before shutting the bathroom door. Guess I'll be waiting on him. In the meantime I checked my phone.

Luke: Fixing to head your way.

Shit!

"Dean! Hurry up. I gotta get dressed!" I yelled banging on the door.

"Yeah and I gotta pee." He hollered back. Ugh.

Thankfully he didn't take long and I was able to quickly change into the dress. It really did match beautifully with the make up. I almost wish we had a camera. Who knows if I'll ever get this dressed up again. I walked out of the bathroom and pulled down the sleeves on the dress.

"Okay… how ridiculous do I look?" I asked.

"Emily you don't. Really. Its. Beautiful." Sam said.

I turned to Dean. He glanced up at me and looked away grumpily. My face slightly fell. When I looked back up at Sam he caught the whole thing and just shrugged. Before I got the chance to say anything else there was a knock on the door.

"Oh my gosh… Okay. Please. I'm begging you! Play nice!" I warned fiercely before turning towards the door. I took a deep breath and opened it.

The sight practically took my breath away. There he stood. Hair slicked back, in a suit and tie. I've never seen anything so beautiful than the man standing in front of me. I forgot how to speak, I just stood there. Thankfully Sam was behind me and coughed, snapping me out of my daze.

"Oh, um. Come in." I said as I opened the door the rest of the way and stepped to the side. He nodded and stepped in.

"Emily… you look. Stunning." He said as he looked the dress up and down.

"Thanks." I blushed.

I heard Sam cough again.

"Luke these are my brothers, Sam and Dean." I said as Dean approached. "This is Luke" I said looking between my two brothers nervously.

"Nice to meet you." Luke said as he reached out a hand and shook Sam's. Then Dean's.

"So how late is this prom thing?" Dean asked while glaring at Luke.

"It ends at 11, sir." Luke responded.

"So you'll have her back by?" Sam then asked.

"No later than 11:30 sir, if that's okay with you."

Sam nodded, but didn't speak.

"What are you driving?" Dean asked.

"I have a Chevrolet Silverado, early 90s. Z71 with a three inch lift kit. V8. Of course it kinda pales in comparison to the impala out front. I've seen it at the school, I'm assuming she's yours."

Dean nodded as if impressed. Go Luke! I looked to Sam and he smiled at me slightly.

Dean proceeded to walk Luke outside and they stood under the hood of the impala, I swear they were speaking a foreign language.

Sam and I stood in the doorway and watched.

"Sammy."

"Yeah Em."

"I have two of the best brothers anyone could ever imagine… Thank you."

He smiled and swung an arm around me. I finally interrupted the car talk and told Luke we really should get going. He shook hands with Dean again, and then Sam. I turned to look at Dean, he caught me looking and quickly looked away, then he went in without even saying bye. I looked up to Sam again, he gave me a sympathetic smile. That's it.

"Luke I'll be right back." I said before leaving Luke and Sam alone and walking inside to find Dean.

"Dean?" I asked when I found him drinking a beer in front of the TV again.

"What?" He asked without looking at me. Stubborn as a fucking mule I swear. So I walked over and stood directly between the TV and him. He finally looked up to me.

"What did I do?" I whispered.

"Nothing." He growled.

"Then why are you so pissed at me." I said crossing my arms.

"I'm not. Em. Just… Go. Have fun." He said getting up and walking away from me.

"De… come on." I said pulling his arm back. He stopped and sighed. Then he turned to look at me.

"Emily I've never seen anyone in my entire life look more beautiful than you do right now… You look like Mom." He said softly. "That boy out there, he's nice and all… but he doesn't deserve you. No one does. And it burns me up to let you walk out that door like this. I wish Dad was here. I wish he could see you. I wish it was him having to decide whether to bury that kid's body or dump it in a lake if he breaks your heart but he's not. I am. Emily you are my chance at doing something right in life. But you're not my little girl anymore. You're growing up. I'm proud as hell, but I kinda also wanna lock you up in the trunk and never let out again till you're old and wrinkly. So that boys won't want you then." He said causing my teary face to giggle at the end.

I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me tightly. I leaned to whisper in his ear.

"De. I was always your little girl, and I always will be."

He squeezed and finally released me.

"Go have fun kiddo." He said nodding towards the door. I smiled and walked back out to Luke.

Luke led me and held the door for me as I climbed carefully into the truck, you wouldn't think three inches makes a huge difference, but even in heels it was a struggle

"Well okay. Now I'm the one impressed. Dean has hated every boy that's even looked at me for longer than 30 seconds. How the hell did you do that?" I asked as we drove down the road.

"So that went okay then?" He asked.

"That went only about ten times better than I could have expected." I said honestly.

Luke chuckled.

When we got to the school it was dark out, the parking lot was already full and you could hear the music pouring out from the gym. He came around and opened my door.

"Need a hand?" He asked reaching out so I have something to grab onto while I jumped down.

"Thanks Romeo." I joked.

We walked into the gym and it was almost unrecognizable.

It was covered wall to wall in streamers and banners, the lights were colorful and it had multiple disco balls hanging from the ceiling causing the lights to dance across the walls. I've never seen anything like it.

"I Uh, I promised my mom I'd get a picture made, do you mind?" Luke asked gesturing to the photo area.

"No. Not at all." I said smiling.

We walked over and waited in the short line to get our picture taken. I was actually kinda glad we got them made. I wanted one for myself.

"Shall we dance?" he asked reaching out his hand. I gladly accepted it and he led us out on the dance floor.

We slow danced, picked up the pace, then slowed it down again. It was so much fun. It was everything I thought it would be. He held me close to him while we danced. His arms wrapped around my waist, and mine over his broad shoulders. I felt like maybe I could do this… maybe I could live this life. Have a boyfriend, go to school, hunt on the side. Maybe this is something I want.

"Are you having a good time?" He asked me softly as he spun me around and then pulled me back to him.

"Yes. I was a little worried, never been to a dance before…" I admitted sheepishly.

"Well for someone who's never danced, you're holding your own pretty well." He complimented. I blushed again.

"I love it when you do that." He said smiling.

"Do what?"

"Blush." I smiled and kissed him.

I was leaned against his body when I saw something that made my blood run cold. Pete was sitting at a table across the room. Standing behind him was the spirit of the boy who committed suicide. I don't understand. I thought the boys salted and burned the bones...

I quickly let go of Luke and tried to get through the crowd, but by the time I did the spirit was gone again. Shit…

"Emily what's wrong?" Luke asked suddenly right behind me.

"I need to call my brothers… Come on." I grabbed his hand and left the crowd.

"Emily what's going on."

"I just remembered that I forgot to do something important. I'll be right back okay? I'm just gonna step out in the hall and call them." I said giving him a small smile.

"Em?"

"Dean! Dude what the hell… didn't yall do a salt and burn last night?!"

"Yeah. Why?"

"There's a vengeful spirit here trying to crash the prom, I spotted him stalking a football player."

"Dammit. Emily we burnt it all last night… I don't know what else is keeping him there." Dean said.

As he spoke the memorials on the wall caught my attention.

"Wait.. Dean. The memorials at the school…" I ran over and looked inside of his.

"Well son of a bitch." I muttered.

"What? Em. What is it?"

"Someone put a lock of dude's hair in the memorial, it's gotta be what's keeping him here. You two get your asses down here now. I'm gonna keep an eye on the football player."

"Alright. Em be careful."

"Sir yes sir." I said before hanging up.

I walked back in to meet Luke.

"Hey everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah Its good, do you wanna go sit with the team for a bit?"

"Are you sure? Tiffany will be over there." Fuck.

"Its okay. We need to see your friends regardless." I said. He kissed my cheek and pulled me over to the table.

He greeted all the boys and I waved and said hi, many of them returning the gesture. I looked up to see Tiffany in a hot pink ruffle gown. Yep. Go figure. She leaned over and began to whisper to her minions. Fuck my life man… why couldn't this spirit choose a different night to haunt this asshole!

My phone buzzed, I pulled it out to read it.

Dean: Just pulled up, heading to break into memorial box keep the coast clear.

Great. How exactly am I supposed to do that? I looked around and caught sight of the spirit again. It looked up at me, then vanished. Little fucker.

I turned to Pete. Not that I like the guy but I don't want him to die… plus he's one of Luke's friends. Luke has lost enough friends, I'm not gonna stand by and let him lose another one.

I walked over and positioned Luke and I between Pete and the doorway that I saw the spirit in last. I know what its doing. Its stalking him, waiting for a chance to confront him, scare him, then kill him. If I can keep Pete busy till Dean and Sam burn the damn thing then all should be good.

"Hey man this shit's lame, I'm gonna go take a piss." Pete said getting up to stand. No! Dammit!

I watched him walk out to the halls. I picked up my phone.

"Hurry!" I texted Sam.

He instantly replied: Locks are a bitch, almost done.

I looked up and knew I needed to follow Pete.

"Luke I'll be right back, pee break." I said quickly before darting out to the hall, I didn't get but a few feet away before someone grabbed me and spun me around.

"I thought I told you to stay home tonight!" Tiffany yelled.

"Yeah and I told you I wasn't scared, fuck off." I said going to walk away again. She reached to grab me and I had enough. I turned and shoved, knocking her to the ground. Her little possy all gasped and bent down to help her up. I don't have time for this right now, so instead I just walked off to find Pete.

I got down the hall and found Pete standing against the locker, but above him was a swinging light fixture, SHIT!

"Pete! Move!" I yelled as I ran and pushed him out of the way seconds before the light crashed to where he had just been standing.

"Whoa dude what the fuck!" He said as he jumped to his feet.

"Pete, we need to go back in with everyone else." I said trying to get back on my feet, I put my hand down in broken glass and managed to cut it. Great.

"What the hell are you talking about?" He asked.

"Pete, please. Trust me. Its not safe out here, please lets go back in."

"Yeah, sure okay." He said spooked. We turned to walk back to the gym but then the spirit appeared right in front of us.

"Holy shit!" Pete yelled. Then he took off running in the opposite direction. The spirit smiled and then vanished again.

"No! Pete! Come back!" I took off running but when I turned the corner I slammed into Luke.

"Emily! Whoa! What the hells going on, oh my god are you bleeding?!" He asked as he grabbed my hand.

"Luke, just go back inside okay. Please I'm begging you." I was worried the spirit would target him if I put him in the line of fire, and I can't have that. Not Luke.

"No, Emily talk to me! Whats wrong."

"Luke! Get your ass back in there, I'll be there in a second!" I yelled fiercely. He looked at me like he was so disappointed, and confused. But he walked away.

Mother fucker. Whyyyyyyy did this spirit have to ruin my life tonight of all nights?!

I finally caught up to Pete. The spirit had him cornered.

"Pete! Duck!" I yelled as I pulled a small knife with an iron blade from my bra. I threw it right through the spirit and it pierced the wall above Pete's head. The spirit disappeared and I ran over to Pete.

"Okay. Seriously. Fucking listen to me when I say we need to go back inside. Come on!" I grabbed his arm and we took off for the gym. We came around the corner and were again face to face with the spirit.

"Wait! Pete. Don't move." I said before he could run again. I could see two tall figures walking up behind the spirit, lighter in hand.

We watched as Dean lit the lock of hair on fire and the spirit vanished for good this time. I sighed deeply. Pete looked freaked the hell out.

"Pete. Its over… go inside and get drunk now please." I mumbled releasing my grip on his arm.

"Yeah, I never wanna remember whatever the hell this just was." He said shakily as he pulled out his flask and took a long drink. He walked back towards the gym, I turned to face Sam and Dean.

"Em you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. I'm good. Look, I gotta go find Luke, if you two wanna stick around then I don't care, just don't ruin this anymore than I already have. Please." I pleaded before turning back towards the gym myself.

I walked in and looked around. Pete was sitting at the table, drinking out of his flask again. I finally looked up and spotted Luke. He was dancing… with Tiffany.

Everything inside me felt crushed all at once. They looked good together, I'm guessing I missed where they were both awarded King and Queen, but their matching crowns kinda filled me in.

I walked towards the dance floor just as the song was ending. They stopped dancing and Tiffany wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. He politely smiled and then released her, he looked around and finally caught my eyes. He immediately walked towards me.

"Emily. I'm sorry… its just the tradition to do the dance. I swear… it didn't mean anything."

"Yeah. I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to bail on you."

"Emily what happened?" He asked taking in my disheveled look and wrapped hand.

"I can't tell you…" I whispered softly. Realizing I probably wouldn't be able to explain a lot of things to him. Would he be okay with that. He looked at me sadly. Then he pulled me into a hug and walked us away from the crowd. I glanced up to briefly notice my brothers standing in the doorway, watching. But not coming in thank God.

We were almost to the tables when someone bumped me and I felt cold liquid pour all down the front of my dress.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" Tiffany said loudly with mock sympathy. I looked up to see her smiling and her minions all giggled. I released Luke's hand and swung, knocking her right in the nose, she instantly grabbed it and the blood poured out everywhere. The music suddenly cut off and the entire room was staring at me… I looked to Luke, he looked shocked at what had just happened.

It was at that second I realized it… this was never gonna work.

I turned and looked back to Tiffany.

"You know. I feel bad for you. All of this. Its nothing, it'll never amount into anything. At the end of the day it will never matter… but you've made it into your everything. And you know what- I don't want it." I said shaking my head.

I focused my gaze on the ground and began to walk towards the doorway where I knew my brothers were discreetly standing. Probably watching the entire scene go down. When I finally got out the doors I looked up again, I just wanted to leave. I didn't have to look and see who's arm was around me. It was Sam's. I leaned against him and we walked towards the front door.

"Wait!" A voice called running to catch up to us.

We all turned to see Luke.

"Emily." He said slowly taking steps towards me. I walked away from Sam and went to Luke, I grabbed his hands and kissed him.

"Thank you for tonight, it was everything I could have wanted. I'll never forget it." I said sincerely before letting go of his hands.

"No don't leave, look we'll get outta here you and me. Okay? Just talk to me." He offered. I smiled sadly.

"Luke. I can't. I don't belong here… I never did." I said softly as a tear made its way down my face. I turned and walked back to Sam and Dean. We didn't stop till we were outside, I stopped on the steps and pulled off the heels. Then as my lip continued to quiver I put them in the trash can off to the side of us. I'll never need them again anyways. When we got to the impala Sam opened the front door for me to slide in between them but instead I opened the back door and slipped in. The boys got in and I quietly began to pull the bobby pins out of my hair, one at a time, letting it all fall.

"Emily… I'm sorry." Sam said.

"Me too Sammy… Me too." I whispered.

We got back to the motel and I quickly changed out of the dress and into a hoodie and sweats. When I walked out Sam and Dean were sitting at the table, with a root beer sitting in front of the empty seat in front of them. I half smiled and walked over to sit with them.

"Well kiddo… what now?" Dean asked.

"I wanna leave." I said staring at the table in front of me.

"Emily are you sure?" Sam asked.

"Sam. I'm a hunter. I'm not like other girls… I can't. Do highschool. I can't hold my tongue and not beat the shit out of people, I can't turn off hunting mode and enjoy one fucking school dance. I just. I can't be here and be me at the same time."

Sam shook his head sadly… I know he wanted me to have a normal life more than anyone. He wanted me to get to have what he had for a while.

"Kiddo do you at least wanna say bye to him tomorrow? Explain what happened?" Dean offered. I smiled sadly and looked up to Dean.

"He's perfect ya know… he was sweet, and kind, and he didn't care what everyone else thought. He saw me for me and wanted me anyways. He was patient. He was funny. He was fine as hell…" I said rambling on.

"But. I'm not good for him… I'll put him in danger. I'll get him hurt. I'll always be gone. Its not fair. I think its best to just leave it like it is. A clean break. Please De. I just wanna go."

"Okay kiddo."

We finished our drinks and packed up, Sam went to turn in the keys and I climbed in the front seat.

Sam climbed in next to me and I curled myself into him, his long arm rested wrapped around my shoulders. I drifted off to sleep. Knowing that when I woke up again all this would be a memory. It was over. Luke was gone.

I tried. I tried to be normal, to fit in, but. Truth is. I'm a hunter.

I'm a Winchester.


	28. Chapter 28

Author's note: There are some exciting things coming up in future chapters! I love this episode so I'm excited to fit Emily into it. Thanks for all the love guys! Please keep reading and reviewing! Reviews fill me with joy and push me to write more and more!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

The last three weeks have dragged. When I woke up that morning after the prom I woke up 2 states away. Dean drove all night to get me as far away as possible. I love him sometimes. But it didn't feel far enough. When I woke I also found 3 missed calls and a dozen texts from Luke. Begging me to call him back, asking to come see me… then another saying he went to the motel and couldn't find us. Every word I read hurt a little more than the word before it. I wanted to call him, to make Dean drive us back, to tell him how sorry I was. To explain to him why we can't make this work.

The boys watched me like a hawk day in and day out. Tip toeing around me, knowing that any little thing could set me off. I hated it.

The calls came every day… Every time the phone rang my heart sank again. I missed Luke. It was getting harder and harder to deny myself the chance to hear his voice. One time I went to actually answer it but Dean took my phone, when I woke up the next morning I had a new one. Part of me was angry at him for taking away my only chance to talk to Luke again, but the other part was thankful that he loved me enough to do what I couldn't do. Cut me off.

We've been running case to case, just stopping to sleep in between. It feels good to be busy, to hunt, to focus on something else. But every time we go to pack the car and I see the dress I feel everything all over again. I can't keep it. It's just a reminder of what I could never have. Eventually I asked the boys to get rid of it. Sam was hesitant, but didn't argue. Instead he and Dean spent every night trying to keep my mind on other things, we've watched every single one of my favorite movies twice by now. The boys even sat through chick flicks without complaining. They brought me cheesecake every night for a week. Those sweet brothers of mine know how to heal a broken heart.

"Ash better not be naked this time." I mused outloud as we drove down the road towards the Roadhouse.

"Yeah. You're telling me." Sam agreed.

"So. I think I may have found us a case." Dean said changing topics.

"Oh yeah where?" I asked as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Los Angeles, California." Dean said as we all climbed out of the impala.

"What's in L.A.?" Sam asked.

"Young girl's been kidnapped by an evil cult."

"Yeah? Girl got a name?" I asked.

"Katie Holmes." Dean said with a grin.

"That's funny. And for you, so bitchy." Sam laughed. I too chucked. But soon our attention was averted to the sound of breaking glass and shouting coming from inside the Roadhouse.

"Of course, on the other hand — catfight." Dean said excitedly.

"Dean. Maybe we should just come back later…" I suggested. He ignored me.

When we walked in Ellen and Joe were in a screaming match, slamming things around.

"What are you going to do, are you going to chain me up in the basement?" Jo yelled.

"You know what, you've had worse ideas than that recently. Hey, you don't wanna stay, don't stay. Go back to school." Ellen said back.

"I didn't belong there! I was a freak with a knife collection." Man. Don't I know the feeling.

"Yeah, and getting yourself killed on some dusty back road, that's where you belong?!" Ellen yelled. Then they both suddenly realized we were there. Uh oh.

"Guys, bad time." Ellen said turning back around to Jo.

"Yes, ma'am." Sam said.

"Yeah, we rarely drink before ten anyway." Dean said as we all turned to leave.

"Wait. I wanna know what they think about this." Jo said suddenly stopping us.

Suddenly the phone begins to ring. Ellen and Jo stare each other down. It was Ellen who caved and went to answer the phone, Jo walked over to us holding a case folder.

They leave. The phone rings. JO glares at it, then at ELLEN, who stalks over to answer it.

"Three weeks ago a young girls disappears from a Philadelphia apartment." She said shoving it towards Dean, he didn't reach for it.

"Take it, it won't bite." She snarked.

"No, but your mom might." Dean said cautiously looking over to Ellen. Jo rolled her eyes and Dean reluctantly took the folder.

"And this girl wasn't the first. Over the past eighty years six women have vanished. All from the same building, all young blondes. Only happens every decade or two so cops never eyeball the pattern. So we're either dealing with one very old serial killer, or —" Jo started but was interrupted.

"Who put this together? Ash?" Dean asked.

"I did it myself." Jo said proudly.

"Hmm." Dean mused impressed. Not gonna lie. She did a damn good job.

"I gotta admit. We hit the road for a lot less." Sam said looking at it over Dean's shoulder.

"Good. You like the case so much, you take it." Ellen said sharply.

"Mom!" Jo yelled.

"Joanna Beth, this family has lost enough. And I won't lose you too. I just won't." Ellen said with finality, leaving the room. We apologized to Jo and took the file and hit the road.

"I feel kind of bad, snaking Jo's case." I said as we walked around the apartment with the EMF readers.

"Yeah, maybe she put together a good file. But could you see her out here working one of these things? I don't think so." Dean said.

"You getting anything?" Sam asked us.

"No, not yet." I said. But suddenly Sam's starts to make noise, we lean over and look at the light switch on the wall.

"What's that?" I asked.

"What?" Dean asked coming over to stand with us.

"Holy crap." Sam said touching the black goop. Dean reached out and touched it. I can assure you I will not be touching whatever the hell this is. Have at it boys.

"That's ectoplasm. Well, I think I know what we're dealing with here. It's the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man." Dean said jokingly. I laughed out loud.

"Dean, I've only seen this stuff, like, twice. I mean, to make this stuff you have to be one majorly pissed off spirit." Sam said rolling his eyes at us.

"All right, let's find this badass before he snags any more girls." Dean said, we went to leave the apartment but heard a familiar voice coming around the corner, Jo?

"It's so convenient." She said talking to the landlord.

"Yeah, it's a great building, fixed it up real nice. All the apartments come furnished, too."

"It is so spacious. You know, my friend told me I absolutely have to come check it out, and I have to admit, she was right. You did a really good job with this place."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Dean said stepping out into their view.

"There you are, honey." Jo said wrapping an arm around Dean's waist. "This is my boyfriend Dean, that's his buddy Sam and his girlfriend Emily." OH COME ON! Really Jo? Fucking bitch… In order not to blow us all I too swung my arm around Sam's waist.

"Good to meetcha. Quite a gal you've got here." The landlord said to Dean.

"Oh yeah, she's a pistol." Dean said smacking her ass.

"So, did you already check out that apartment? The one for rent." Jo asked Dean.

"Yeah. Yes. Loved it. Heh. Great flow." Dean lied.

"How'd you get in?" The landlord asked confused.

"It was open." I said smiling sweetly.

"Now, Ed, um, when did the last tenant move out?" Jo asked him.

"Oh, about a month ago. Cut and run, too. Stuck me for the rent."

"Well. Her loss, our gain! 'Cause if Dean-o loves it, it's good enough for me." She said smiling and pinching his cheeks.

"Oh, sweetie." Dean mused with tight eyes, smacking her ass a little harder.

"We'll take it." Jo said pulling out a wad of cash. The landlord took it and left, we all went back into the apartment.

"I'll flip you for the sofa." Jo turned and said laying down her bags.

"Does your mother even know you're here?" I asked. Still pissy about having to pretend my brother was my boyfriend.

"Told her I was going to Vegas."

"You think she's gonna buy that?"

"I'm not an idiot. I got Ash to lay a credit card trail all the way to the casinos."

I rolled my eyes.

"Next time don't try and force me into incest, I don't appreciate it." I said walking away.

"Sorry, had to sell it." She said unapologetically.

"You know, you shouldn't lie to your mom. Shouldn't be here either." Dean said picking up where I left off.

"Well, I am. So untwist your boxers and deal with it."

"Where'd you get all that money from, anyways?" Sam asked her.

"Working, at the Roadhouse."

"Hunters don't tip that well." I added.

"Well, they aren't that good at poker, either." Jo replied with a grin. Deans phone begins to ring, he answered it.

"Yeah. Oh, hi Ellen." Dean said. Jo turned towards him.

"I'm telling her." Dean said to Jo covering the speaker on the phone, they muttered angrily at each other for a long minute.

"I haven't seen her." Dean said suddenly lying. What the fuck?!

"Yeah, I'm sure." Dean said as Jo began to grin widely.

"Absolutely." Dean said into the phone before hanging it up.

"Lets just get this thing over with please…" I mumbled. Jo pulled out blue prints and we all sat at the table.

"This place was built in 1924. It was originally a warehouse, converted into apartments a few months ago." Jo said.

"Yeah? What was here before 1924." S asked.

"Nothing. Empty field."

"So, most likely scenario, someone died bloody in the building, and now he's back and raising hell." Sam suggested.

"Already checked. In the past eighty two years, zero violent deaths. Unless you count a janitor who slipped on a wet floor…. Would you sit down, please?" Jo said to Dean as he paced across the room.

"So, have you checked police reports, county death records..." Dean asked sitting down.

"Obituaries, mortuary reports and seven other sources. I know what I'm doing." Damn. She's good. Not that I would say it out loud at the moment. I'm still pissed.

"I think the jury's still out on that one. Could you put the knife down?" Dean asked. She put down the knife she had been twirling in her hand.

"Okay. So, uh, it's something else, then. Maybe some kind of cursed object that brought a spirit with it." I suggested.

"Well, we've got to scan the whole building. Everywhere we can get to, right?" Jo asked.

"Right. So. You and me, we'll take the top two floors. Sam and Em you two take the basement and the first floor." Dean said.

"We'd move faster if we split up." Jo said. HA! Yeah right Jo. My brothers don't let me go anywhere alone, and they're not gonna let you go alone either.

"Oh, this isn't negotiable." Dean said harshly getting up from the table.

Jo shook her head at him and sighed, then she looked to me.

"So do they babysit you like this on every case?" She asked me.

"Pretty much." I said with eyebrows raised.

We split and Sam and I went for the basement. We each pulled out an EMF reader and began to walk from one end of the floor to the other.

"So how you holding up kiddo?" Sam asked me.

"I'm fine Sammy… really." I replied sincerely.

"Its just… Emily. We could go somewhere else. We could try something else. You don't have to go to highschool. You've got the GED. You could start college, we could pick whatever town you want."

"Sam. Don't. I'm not meant to live that life… I know you got to get away from all this for a while but no offense. It didn't exactly work out for you. When Jess died you were shattered… I mean come on Sam you're still picking up the pieces. We all are." I said honestly. He looked down sadly.

"Sam Its enough for me… this life. I'm fine with it. I've got you. I've got Dean. We save peoples lives everyday. I'm fine with that. So please… be fine with me being fine with that."

Sam looked back up at me and half smiled.

"Okay Kiddo."

We finished sweeping at went back to the room to meet with Dean and Jo. Turns out the hit the creepy jackpot. Bastards coming out of the walls.

That night I offered to share a bed with Jo, Sam took the other one and Dean got stuck on the couch. It was weird sleeping in different rooms. Usually we're all in one. Jo and I laid there in the dark but neither of us were asleep.

"Hey Jo…"

"Yeah?"

"Why can't we fit in anywhere that doesn't have ghosts and silver bullets."

She chuckled.

"I don't know. Would you want to though? Honestly?" She asked me.

"I guess not… Jo. You ever had a stable relationship in this life?"

She sat for a second before answering.

"No. I guess I haven't. But it doesn't mean it couldn't happen. We have couples that hunt. They come through the bar all the time."

"Jo. I'm fixing to ask you a question… answer me honestly and I swear to you nothing we say will leave this room… What do you even like about Dean… I mean he's an ass 90% of the time. He stinks most days, and its only by the grace of God he hasn't picked up an STD yet."

"Wow Emily. You sure know how to sell em."

We both laughed.

"Come on… I'm serious."

"Well. Even though you don't see it, he's hott. He's a hell of a hunter. He's just… I don't know. He's funny. He's kinda mysterious. Someone who I feel like I could live this life with. I wouldn't have to give up who I am to be with him. Or him to be with me. It makes sense." She explained.

"Yeah." I mumbled. I could see what she meant about them making sense. A hunter with a hunter.

"Em. What's it like? Living on the road. Always getting to hunt?" She asked me after a few minutes of silence.

"Um. Well. It's awesome. And it sucks. I love that we get to save people. We make a difference in someone's life. Its kinda fun sometimes getting to go place to place, I've seen so many things. Its not often that we actually stop to take a break, but when we do. Its always a good time. But. On the other hand. Its hard. You don't get to keep relationships. You don't get to make friends. Just acquaintances. You watch people die… sometimes its your fault. Then you have to find a way to sleep at night. You're constantly fighting for your life. Or for someone else's. It almost gives me a heart attack every time one of the boys gets hurt, I'd die to protect them. And them me. It sucks worst when you lose people you love… people you never thought you'd lose. You know. Recently I got to see a glimpse of what it was like to be normal… and all I could think about was what my dad would think of me. Would he be proud. Would he be mad if I wanted to stay…"

"I'm sorry Emily. I was real young when my dad died… I don't remember much. I can't imagine how you must feel. But you should know, you'll always have at least one friend."

I smiled sadly.

"Thanks Jo. You too."

Jo and I drifted off to sleep. I was the first one up in the morning, it was still dark outside. Just after 4. I walked in the living room and found poor Dean crunched in half on the couch. He's gonna have a killer krick in his neck. I went back and took my pillow off the bed, then I walked over to him and gently shook him awake.

"De… De."

"Hmm.. Em. You okay?"

"I'm good, but you're not." I laughed. It was then he attempted to turn his head and groaned at the stiffness.

"Here. Lift up." I sat down in the corner of the couch and laid the pillow across my lap. Then I motioned for Dean to lay back down. His feet stayed propped up over the edge since he was too damn tall. But at least now he could sleep a little more comfortably.

"Thanks Kiddo." He smiled before falling asleep and softly snoring. I drifted back off to sleep while twisting my fingers through his short hair, leaning my head against my propped up arm.

(DEAN'S POV)

The noise of someone moving around woke me up, I opened my eyes and found poor Em dozed off sitting above me. I smiled and sat up slowly, then I reached around and laid her down on the couch before covering her up with the blanket. If it wasn't for her I probably wouldn't be able to move my neck right about now. I stood up straight and popped my back before turning to find Jo sitting at the table.

"Morning, princess." She said.

"Where's Sam?" I asked looking over and noticing his room was empty.

"Went to get coffee."

"Ugh. How'd you sleep on that big soft bed?" I asked her sarcastically as I popped my back a second time.

"I didn't really. A lot of dozing off and waking up. I see Emily couldn't sleep either." She said nodding over to the couch.

"Yeah. She gets like that sometimes. I try and let her stay crashed when I can."

I looked back up and saw Jo fiddling with the same little knife from yesterday. I walked up and pulled my bowie knife out of the bag and the sheath, then I handed it over to her.

"Here."

"What's this for?" She asked confused.

"Work a hell of a lot better than that little pig-sticker you're twirling around." She took the knife then handed me hers. I noticed 3 letters on the blade. W.A.H.

"William Anthony Harvelle." She said softly.

"I'm sorry. My mistake." I said handing it back and taking mine, sheathing it again.

"What do you.. what do you remember about your dad? I mean, what's the first thing that pops into your head?"

I shook my head, then sat down across from her. "I was just a kid, and uh, he took me shooting for the first time. You know, bottles on a fence, that kind of thing. I bulls-eyed every one of 'em. He gave me this smile, like... I don't know."

"He must have been proud." Jo said.

"What about your dad?" I asked her.

"I was still in pigtails when my dad died, but I remember him coming home from a hunt. He'd burst through that door like, like Steve McQueen or something. And he'd sweep me up in his arms, and I'd breathe in that old leather jacket of his. And my mom, who was sour and pissed from the minute he left, she started smiling again. And we were... we were a family. You wanna know why I want to do the job? For him. It's my way of being close to him. Now tell me what's wrong with that."

"Nothing." I answered honestly. Suddenly Sam bursts through the front door.

"Where's the coffee?" I asked noticing his empty hands.

"There are cops outside. Another girl disappeared." He said solemnly.

"Shit. Alright. I'll wake up Em."

After getting her up and Sam for coffee I went down and talked to the cops, when I came back up everyone was waiting for an update.

"Teresa Ellis, Apartment 2F. Boyfriend reported her missing around dawn." I announced coming in the door.

"And her apartment?" Jo asked.

"Cracks all over the plaster, walls, ceiling. There was ectoplasm, too." I replied.

"Well, between that and that tuft of hair I'd say this sucker's coming from the walls." Em said.

"But who is it? Building's history is totally clean." Sam asked.

"Well, maybe we're looking in the wrong place." Jo said picking up a photo off the table. Em went and sat with her.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Check this out." Em said. Sam and I went over to stand behind them.

"An empty field?" Sam asked looking at the photo.

"It's where this building was built. Take a look at the one next door. The windows." Jo said.

"Bars." Sam said.

"We're next door to a prison?" I asked surprised.

"Looks like it." Em said.

Jo got on the phone and called Ash. Got him to do some quick digging, then threatened him if he spilled a word of it to Ellen.

"Okay. Moyamensing prison. Built in 1835, torn down in 1963. And get this. They used to execute people by hanging them in the empty field next door." She said hanging up the phone.

"Well, then, we need a list. All the people executed there." Sam said.

"Ash is already on it." She smiled.

"A hundred fifty seven names?" Em said a few minutes later when the list came through.

"We've gotta narrow that down." Sam said.

"Yeah. Or else we're gonna be digging up a hell of a lot of stiffs." I added.

"Herman Webster Mudgett?" Sam said suddenly as Em scrolled through them.

"Yeah?" Jo asked.

"Wasn't that H. H. Holmes' real name?" Sam asked.

"You've gotta be kiddin' me." Em said.

"Yep. Holmes was executed at Moyamensing, May 7, 1896." I said confirming Sam's thought.

"H. H. Holmes himself. Come on, I mean, what are the odds?" Sam said shocked.

"Who is this guy?" Jo asked clueless.

"The term "multi-murderer." They coined it to describe Holmes. He was America's first serial killer, before anybody knew what a serial killer was." I explained.

"Yeah, he confessed to twenty seven murders, but some put the death toll at over a hundred." Sam added.

"And his victim flavor of choice? Pretty petite blondes. He, uh, he used chloroform to kill 'em." Emily added. Then something clicked in my head.

"Which is what I smelled in the hallway last night. At his place, cops found human remains, bone fragments, and long locks of bloody blonde hair. Boy, you sure know how to pick 'em." I said to Jo.

"Well, we just find the bones, salt 'em and burn 'em, right?" Jo asked.

"Well, it's not that easy. His body is buried in town, but it's encased in a couple tons of concrete." Sam said.

"What? Why?" She asked.

"The story goes that he didn't want anybody mutilating his corpse. 'Cause, you know, that's what he used to do." I said.

"You know somethin'. We might have an even bigger problem than that." Emily said.

"How does this get bigger?" Jo asked.

"Holmes built an apartment building in Chicago. He called it the Murder Castle. The whole place was a death factory, they had, uh, trap doors, acid vats, quick line pits... he built these secret chambers inside the walls. He'd lock his victims in, keep them alive for days. Some he'd suffocate, others he'd let starve to death." Emily said grimacing.

"So Teresa could still be alive. She could be inside these walls." Jo said putting it all together.

"We need sledgehammers, crowbars. We've got to smash these walls, anywhere thick enough to hide a girl." I said. We only had two hammers. I sent Sam with one, and I took Em and Jo with me and the other one. No way is Jo leaving my sight, and neither is Em. She may be a brunette, but I'm not taking any chances.

We had been all the way through one floor and we're now on the one below it, slipping in through a crawl space, but when it narrowed I had to stop.

"It's too narrow. Can't go any further." I said turning to Emily and Jo.

"Let me see." Jo said pushing past me.

"What are you-" I tried as she squeezed past me.

"Ugh. Shoulda cleaned the pipes." I mumbled.

"What?" She asked.

"I, uh, I wish the pipes were cleaner." I said instead. I looked up to Em who caught the whole thing and just shook her head at me.

"Shut up. I can fit in there." Jo said

"You're not going in there by yourself." I told her grabbing her arm.

"Fine. I'll go with her, move. Cause I'm not rubbing against your pipes." Emily said shining her light right in my eyes.

"Dammit. Em. NO. I'm not letting you two out of my sight."

"Dean. Just move. We're fine. I promise. We'll stay on the phone with you the whole time."

"Dammit… " I mumbled moving so Em could get in with Jo.

"You two better bail if things get even the slightest bit hairy in there."

"Sir yes sir." Em mocked, Jo laughed. Dammit this is such a bad idea! But its our only choice. If I can't fit, Sam definitely isn't fitting back there.

"Where are you?" I asked as the phone rang and the two were out of my sight.

"On the north wall." Jo said.

"We're heading down some kind of air duct." Em yelled.

"No, no, no, no, stay up here." I told them.

"Look, we've gotta find this girl, don't we? I'm okay. Emily is okay. Just let us do the job."

"All right. I'm heading to you." I told them.

It was silent for a second, then I heard Jo's voice softly.

"Oh god." She whispered.

"What is it? Jo? Em!"

"Dean… It's here." Emily said frantically.

"Get out now!" I yelled to them panicked. Shit shit shit! I never should have let them go in there.

I heard screams, not Em's.

"Jo!" I yelled. Then I could hear Emily calling out Jo's name.

"Emily! Em!" I screamed.

"De! She's gone! I-" But then Em screamed as well.

"No! Dammit! Emily!" I yelled but there was no answer. I ran to where I knew they were last and slammed the sledge hammer into the wall. When I finally squeezed in all I found was Jo's phone. FUCK!

I took off down the hall in the direction of Sam, but ended up turning a corner and slamming right into him.

"Whoa." Sam said.

"He's got Jo and Em."

"What? How'd that happen?!"

"I wasn't with em; I left em alone. Dammit!" I screamed and punched the wall out of frustration. Its bad enough I let Jo go in and get taken, but I can't fucking believe I let Emily go in with her. Why did he even want to take her, shes not blonde. She doesn't fit the pattern. She should have been safe.

"Hey, hey, look, we'll find em, all right?" Sam said reassuringly but I could see the underlying panic.

"Where?"

"Inside the walls."

"We've been inside the walls all night. None of the other girls were there, they won't be either."

"Look. We've just gotta take a beat and think about this. Maybe we got Holmes' M.O. wrong. I mean. Em's not even blonde. Maybe he just took her cause she was already in the wall, maybe he doesn't even want her, maybe she can help Jo. Okay. Just. We gotta figure out where else they might be."

"Yeah, well, we'd better friggin' think fast."

(Emily's POV)

*Drip*

*Drip*

*Drip*

My head… it hurts. Its feels like my heart is pounding against my skull. I could finally feel my heavy eyelids start to open. Fuck. I looked up and saw 4 wooden boxes in the room around me. I went to go to them but was quickly yanked back by the shackles around my feet. Then I remembered the last time I was shackled to the walls… the blood. The cold rough concrete beneath me. Oh god.. No.. no no. Please. I don't wanna go back! Please! I don't want to! I pulled and pulled and pulled against the shackles frantically. Dean's coming… Dean. He got me last time. He'll get me again. The thought was the only thing keeping me from a full blown panic attack.

"Dammit!" I muttered as my hands were cut against the sharp edge on one of the chains.

"Emily… Is that you?" I heard Jo's voice. Coming from one of the boxes. Bringing me back out of the panic… its not her. She's not back. She doesn't have me again…

"Jo! Jo are you okay?!"

"Yeah. Yeah… I'm fine. But. I think I'm in a coffin." She said shakily.

"No. Jo. Its not. Its just a lock box. Okay. A really big lock box. I'm gonna get you out." I told her reassuringly as I began to pull less frantically at the shackles around my ankles, they were heavy and made of thick old rusted metal.

"Are you in a box too?" She asked me.

"No. I'm chained up out here."

"Where are we?"

"I don't know… It smells like we're somewhere in the sewers or something. Maybe an underground tunnel system?" I guessed.

I pulled and pulled at the shackles, bloodying my fingers and successfully bruising my ankles.

"Shit.. Jo I can't get out. Does the box budge?"

I heard Jo moving around in the box, kicking against the side of it.

"That's a negative." She said a few minutes later.

"Its okay…. Its okay. Dean and Sam. They'll find us.

Not even a second after finishing my sentence I heard something. Oh fuck…

"Jo… he's coming." I whispered.

"Oh god…" Jo whimpered.

"Just be quiet, I'm gonna play possum." I said as I laid back down and shut my eyes.

I could barely hear the swoosh of the air as Holmes appeared in the room. I cracked my eyes open to see him facing away from me. Staring at the box Jo was laying in. He slowly crept forward towards her, she was silent. But as he reached inside I could hear moving around, probably trying to avoid his touch. He was moaning to himself. Whispering how pretty she was. Then he suddenly screamed out and disappeared.

"How do you like that?! Pure iron you creepy son of a bitch!" Jo yelled.

I sat up and smiled.

"Damn Jo. You're a woman after my own heart." I said grinning. Jo chuckled.

"Probably won't be long before he's back." She said.

"Yeah. I know. We just gotta hope the boys are faster, cause I'm pretty sure we're stuck at the moment." I mumbled back examining the shackles again.

"Yeah." Jo agreed.

We sat for a few hours, then without notice Holmes appeared again in the middle of the room. I froze. My eyes glued to the back of his body, he was again facing away from me and walked towards Jo.

"Emily… Is that you?" She asked hearing him.

"No…" I mumbled. But Holmes ignored me and kept walking towards her. He reached in and I could hear her struggle. Well he knows I'm here so I might as well put myself to use.

"Hey! Get the fuck away from her!" I yelled. He stopped and turned to me. He looked me up and down like he was disgusted. Then he began to walk towards me. I scrambled backwards but had nowhere to go, even if I could get around him I'm chained up.

He reached down and picked me up by my hair. I groaned out in pain. I could hear Jo screaming for me but I was focused on the gross man hoisting me up in the air, I barely kept my feet on the ground. He used his other hand and ran it through my long hair that he had in his grip. I watched him carefully. He looked at it as if he was touching something disease ridden. Then he looked up to me and dropped me back to the ground. He reached down and held me against the wall, then he pulled out a knife.

"Jo! JO!" I yelled. She began kicking the box but it did not good.

He reached down with the knife and I cringed with my eyes closed, I could hear the blade, but couldn't feel the pain. I opened my eyes to see a handful of hair fall to the ground and catch fire. No! Not my hair! My long beautiful hair. I screamed and reached back grabbing onto the hair I still had, he reached towards me to cut off more and I laid on my back and began kicking at him. The smell of burnt hair fueling my fight. I'm not letting this bastard take any more of my hair just because prefers blondes! What a dick! I could still hear Jo yelling for me to respond but I was too busy trying to fight this bastard off to respond.

"Hey!" A deep loud voice yelled out. Dean! Next I heard the ringing of gunshot in my ears. Holmes disappeared. The shot echoed and hurt my already pounding head. I laid over clutching it.

"Dean!" Jo yelled.

"Jo?!" Dean called out going box to box looking for her, Sam ran over to me.

"Emily… Em." Sam said picking me up and leaning me against the wall.

"Sammy. My hair…" I whimpered and whined. Sam lifted where he had grabbed and cut a chunk of it to where it sits just below my shoulder instead of more than halfway down my back. I looked down at it teary eyed. Then to Sam. He ran his fingers through my hair and tried to disguise it by blending it in with the rest.

"Sam… go find Theresa…" I whispered. He left me and went to search the other boxes just as Dean unlocked Jo's box and freed her. Then Dean ran to me. He looked down to the shackles and I could tell by the look on his face he too was remembering the last time he found me shackled.

"De…" I whispered shakily.

"I know babygirl… I know. I promise. She's not here. I'm gonna get you out of these okay? I promise." He said grabbing my head and leaning out foreheads together. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent. Reminding me I'm safe. I slowly shook my head as I heard him cut the shackles. He got one loose, then another. He helped me to stand and flipped over my hands, examining the scrapes and cuts.

"I tried to get out. I just. Panicked." I mumbled looking down at them as well. He pulled into him and swayed us back and forth for a moment.

"Let's get the hell out of here before he comes back." Jo said. I looked up and she was standing beside Sam, who was carrying an unconscious but alive Theresa.

"Actually, I don't think you're leaving here just yet." Dean said to her.

"What?" She asked shocked.

"Remember when I said you being bait was a bad plan? Now it's kind of the only one we got." Dean admitted.

Sam carried out Theresa while Dean Jo and I set up the tunnel. We left Jo to sit in the middle of the floor.

It didn't take long for him to come back and appear right behind Jo. She waited for her cue and when Dean yelled she ducked and ran towards us as we shot down the strings holding the salt from the gaps we left spaced around the open area so that Holmes could enter it. He screamed out in a panic as he turned and realized he was trapped.

"Scream all you want you dick but there's no way you're stepping over that salt!" Jo yelled back.

Dean quickly led us back to the surface. Every knotch on the climb back up sent pain waves through my hands. But I didn't care. I wanted out of there. When we got to the top I stopped and sat on the ground. Sam was waiting for us, he came over and crouched down next to me.

"Em. You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm just glad this ones over." I whispered back. Unable to tell him how terrified I really was, or why for that matter. It was the first time I wished he knew. It was the first time I wanted to tell him. But instead I just sat there.

"You three wait here, I'll be right back." Dean said as he ran down the alley.

"So? This job as glamorous as you thought it would be?" Sam asked Jo as he went to stand by her, looking down the open access tunnel.

"Well, except for all the pee-your-pants terror, yeah. Sure. But that Theresa girl's gonna live a life because of us. It's worth it, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Yeah it is." I added.

"Hey, what if somebody finds that sewer down there, or a storm washes the salt away?" Jo asked.

"Both very fine points. Which is why we're waiting here." Sam said with a grin.

"For what?" Jo asked. But the loud beeping of a large truck suddenly caught all of our attention. So I stood up next to them and shook my head laughing. Oh De. I do love you.

"For that." Sam said.

"Whoa." Sam hollered to Dean to let him know he had backed up far enough. He jumped out and he and Sam let down the latch to pour the cement down the tunnel.

"You ripped off a cement truck?" Jo asked smiling.

"I'll give it back." Dean said with a wink. I watched as Jo's face lit up. She really was into him.

"Well, that oughta keep him down there till hell freezes over." I mused as we all watched it pour in.

After the truck was emptied Dean drove it back and we all walked back to the apartment. When we got there Dean stopped me in the hallway before walking in.

"Em. I'm so sorry… I swore. I swore I'd never let anything take you away from me again. I shouldn't have let you go. I just figured since you weren't blonde you'd be safe." He said with a face full of guilt.

"Dean its not your fault. I would have forced myself back there with Jo. I wasn't taking no for an answer. This ones on me De. Not you. Besides you aren't the only one who thought I was safe since I wasn't blonde." I said sadly looking down at my hair again. Dean noticed and ran his hand through it, catching the knots as he went, but he stopped where the large chunk was cut.

"It could be worse kiddo. We'll just have to cut the rest of it to match." He said sympathetically.

"Deeeeeee." I whined. He chuckled.

"Come on, lets get you patched up. Those hands look rough." He said as he led me in. I sat at the table and let Sam clean and disinfect them before bandaging them up. Then he examined where I was hit in the back of the head. He said it wasn't a concussion after doing a quick check of my vision and tossed me a pain pill. I sighed knowing what was next. I looked up to Jo.

"Ever cut hair before?" I asked her.

"Nope." She said with pursed lips.

I walked in the bathroom and locked the door behind me.

I grabbed the scissors and a section of hair and it literally hurt to make the cut. But I did. Then another, and another. Now my long dark hair was a solid 6 inches or more shorter. It sits just below my shoulders, wavy and dirty at the moment. It hurt my heart to gather it all and throw it away. I walked back out and looked at the boys and Jo.

"I might seriously drill my way down past all of that cement so that I can kill him with my bare hands." I said flatly.

"Actually it looks pretty good Em. I know this isn't exactly the way it should have gone down, but. It looks good, besides. It was getting really long." Sam said supportively.

"Look who's talking." I said back crossing my arms. He looked down quickly.

"He's right though kiddo. It looks good." Dean said as he walked by and planted a kiss on the top of my head.

"Okay so I say we shower and then hit the road in the morning?" Jo suggested. We were all fixing to agree when a familiar voice stopped us all dead in our tracks.

"No. Get your asses in the car now…" Ellen said viciously from the doorway. Holy fuck. I didn't even hear her come in. We all stood frozen. Just staring at her.

"Now!" She yelled making us all jump. We all scrambled to get our bags and walked down to the impala, Ellen in the front with Dean, and me, Sammy, and Jo in the back. I sat squished between Sam and Jo, sitting in the awkward silence.

"Boy, you, you really weren't kidding about flying out, were you?" Dean said lightheartedly to Ellen but she gave no reaction.

"How about we listen to some music?" Dean asks flipping on the radio. The song "Cold as Ice" was on. How fitting. Ellen quickly reached forward and turned the radio back off. Dean glanced in the backseat but we all just stared forward.

"This is gonna be a long drive." Dean sighed.

The next morning we had finally made it back. We all got out and followed Ellen as she dragged Jo in by the elbow.

"Ellen? This is my fault. Okay? I lied to you and I'm sorry. But Jo did good out there, I think her dad would be proud." Dean said as soon as we were all in.

"Don't you dare say that. Not you. I need a moment with my daughter. Alone." Ellen said forcefully with her voice cracking in the middle. There's something more to this… she couldn't possibly be this upset that Jo snuck off to do a case. We're missing something.

"Sure." I said and me and the boys walked back to the car.

"Dean. This was a bad idea…" I said as we all leaned against the hood, waiting for a sign that the ass chewing was over. It wasn't long after that Jo came busting through the door. She stopped and looked at us but kept walking. Dean got up to go after her.

"That bad, huh?" Dean asked.

"Not right now." She said still walking.

"What happened? Hey, talk to me." Dean said grabbing her arm.

"Get off me!" She turned and yelled. Dean looked shocked. I took a few steps forward.

"Sorry. See you around." He said shortly and turned to leave.

"Dean. It turns out my dad had a partner on his last hunt. Funny, he usually worked alone; this guy did too, but... I guess my father figured he could trust him. Mistake. Guy screwed up, got my dad killed."

"What does this have to do with—"

"It was your father, Dean." Now it all makes sense…

"What?" Dean asked.

"Why do you think John never came back? Never told you about us? Because he couldn't look my mom in the eye after that, that's why."

"Jo." I said walking up, trying to think of what to say to calm her down.

"Just... just get out of here. Please, just leave." She said before walking away. I looked to Dean who looked defeated. We all climbed into the impala and drove away in silence.

We stopped at a motel that night and all showered. I blew dry my hair and frowned at it in the mirror. It wasn't THAT bad, but I loved my long hair. Guess it'll grow. I walked out and climbed in bed next to Dean. Sam was already asleep.

"The hair cut really is cute kiddo. Makes you look older." He said grinning at me while he ruffled it. I pushed his hand away and curled myself into the blankets facing him.

"I thought she had me again Dean." I whispered to him as I looked down. "I just woke up, saw the shackles, and I just knew I was back there. I knew it."

"Emily. I swear to you. She's dead. She can NEVER hurt you again. I made damn sure of that." He said softly as he pulled my chin up so he could look me straight in the eyes.

"Dean… its not fair to Sammy. He should know."

"Then tell him Em."

"I can't… I physically can't get the words past my mouth without feeling like I'm there again. Feeling trapped. Hopeless."

"I can tell him… but he's going to ask questions. He's gonna want to talk to you about it."

"I know… just. Next time he asks. Tell him. Without me. Please. I'll just handle the rest afterwards the best I can."

"Okay kiddo… " He said giving me a smile.

"What?" I asked.

"You're growing up. This is a big step, letting Sam in. I know its hard. But it's the right choice… and you made it on your own. I'm proud of you."

"Oh whatever." I said rolling my eyes and playfully pushing him. He pushed me back and dangled me off the side of the bed.

"De! No! Pull me up!" I whisper yelled between giggles trying not to wake up Sam.

"Oh. Can't… Your. Slipping." He said pretending to drop me further and further before finally pulling me back up, I punched him square in the breadbox and he laughed as he regained his breath.

"Goodnight asshole." I said trying to hide my smile as I rolled over away from him.

"Night kiddo." He laughed.


	29. Chapter 29

Author's note: This chapter has got a lot going on, as will the next one. I'm super excited to get them up to you guys. I'm shocked to be this far into my story and have so much love and support. You guys who keep reading, following, favoriting, and especially reviewing really make this all happen! Yall are awesome!

"Bam! Pay up mother fuckers!" I cheered as I made the winning shot against my two cocky ass brothers. This is quite possibly the first time I've ever beat Dean at a game of pool. The look in his eyes was worth more than the money itself.

"Dean. Money." I said walking up to him and reaching out my greedy little hand. He glared at me while he reached around for his wallet and pulled out the 50 bucks he bet me, then I went to Sam. He was much more willing to pay up, and laughed at me the whole time as I danced around the table.

"Next rounds on me boys!" I said walking up to the bar and grabbing 2 beers and a root beer. I walked back to the table and set down the drinks.

"Sam. Why do I feel like we just got hustled" Dean asked out loud as he took a drink.

"Because your ego is too big." Sam answered honestly, earning a bitch face from dean and a high five from me. Poor Dean. He looks so defeated.

"Hey De. Girl on your 10 o clock has been watching you all night. She's cute." I said with a smile. He grinned and perked up as he turned and caught her smile.

"Well. Then I guess its time to say goodnight children." Dean said as he stood and walked over to her table. I laughed as I watched her fall prey to some ridiculous cheesy pick up line.

"Well something tells me we shouldn't wait up." Sam said to me.

"Yeah. I usually never do."

"I don't get it Em… Why are you cool with him doing this all the time. Its gross. And annoying."

"Because it keeps him happy. As much as I hate to admit it, or think about since he's my brother and all… a man has needs."

"Yeah but I think his needs are a little more than most men." Sam said causing me to chuckle and almost choke on my drink. Sam and I watched as Dean flirted and the drunk girl giggled at every little thing he said.

"You ever wonder what he says to them? Or how in the hell they think he's telling them the truth?" I asked Sam.

"He's charming. Always has been. Plus most women hanging out in here are looking for it anyways."

"Hey!" I said punching him.

"Oh come on… I didn't mean you. You walked in with your brothers. Out of everyone in this bar you are the least likely to get picked up."

"Oh yeah?" I asked taking some offense to his comment. I could get picked up easily. "Wanna bet?"

"Emily… You're twisting everything I say." He said annoyed.

"And you doubt my abilities. I am after all that charming asshole's sister, I have the same genes." I said pointing at Dean.

"Em. Just don't." Sam said as I stood up front the table.

"Watch and learn Sammy boy." I said with a wink as I walked to the bar. Not worried about who might bug me, If any guy got too handsy I have both of my brothers here.

"I'll take a crown on the rocks please." I said sitting down where there was empty seats on either side of me. I ordered the whiskey but only pretended to sip on it. Letting it sting my lips and tongue. I looked around and carefully eavesdropped on the conversations around me. The bartender was hitting on some sleaze. Much like Dean. The girls sitting a few stools down were gossiping about their workplace. The guys across the bar were complaining about their wives. There were a few biker guys just drinking a beer and watching whatever sports game was on TV. But then when I glanced up I realized it wasn't sports. It was the news, and my two idiot brothers were plastered on the front of it. FUCK! I jumped up and ran over to Sam.

"We gotta leave now, you two are all over the TV." I said quickly as I ran over and said the same thing to Dean.

"Dammit man… I had that one in the bag!" Dean said as he sped down the road away from the bar.

"What the hell are you two even doing on the news 3 states away?" I asked.

Sam pulled out his laptop.

"So much for our low profile. You've got a warrant in St. Louis, and now you're officially in the Fed's database." Sam said to Dean. Grrreat. My two idiot brothers got themselves busted working a case last week. I stayed low profile on this one, so luckily no one knows I was even involved. But its obvious now that they know Dean didn't die back on that case with the shifter.

"Dude, I'm like Dillinger or something." Dean said with a smile. Idiot. I smacked the back of his head playfully, he reached back to hit me but I quickly leaned and ducked giggling.

"Dean, it's not funny. Makes the job harder, we've gotta be more careful now." Sam said frustrated.

"Well, what do they got on you?"

"I'm sure they just haven't posted it yet." Sam mumbled.

"No accessory? Nothing?" I asked amused.

"Shut up." Sam said.

"You're jealous." Dean laughed.

"No, I'm not!" Sam quickly defended himself.

"Uh-huh. All right. What do you got on the case there, you innocent, harmless young man, you?" Dean teased. Sam rolled his eyes but pulled out the case file we were looking at earlier today.

"Architect Sean Boyden plummeted to his death from the roof of his home, a condominium he designed." Sam explained trying to get us off the topic of his innocence.

"Hmm. Build a high-rise and jump off the top of it. That's classy. When did he call animal control?" Dean asked.

"Two days earlier."

"Did he actually say Black Dog?" I asked.

"Yeah. A vicious, wild, black dog. The authorities couldn't find it, no one else saw it; in fact, the authorities are a little confused as to how a wild dog could get past the doorman, take the elevator up and start roaming the halls of the cushiest joint in town. After that, no more calls, he doesn't show up for work, two days later he takes a swan dive." Damn.

"Do you think we're dealing with an actual Black Dog?" Dean asked. Its just so rare. We've never actually gotten to hunt one.

"Well, maybe." Sam admitted.

"What's the lore on it?" Dean asked. Sam handed Dean and I some papers.

"It's all pretty vague. I mean, there are spectral black dogs all over the world, but... some say they're animal spirits, others say death omens. But anyways, whatever they are, they're big, nasty.." Sam explained.

"Yeah, I bet they could hump the crap outta your leg, look at that one, huh?" Dean said holding up a picture smirking. Sam and I glared at him, his smirk slowly slipped away.

"What? They could." He said quietly looking back to the road.

Ahhh… Monkey suits and a skirt. I hate playing dress up sometimes. But a high class business like this isn't going to let in anyone who isn't dressed up, even if they do have a press badge, or intern in my case.

"So, you and Sean Boyden were business partners for almost ten years, right?" Sam asked the business man.

"That's right. Now one more time, this is for...?"

"A tribute to Mr. Boyden. Architectural Digest." Dean answered. The man laughed.

"This funny to you?" Dean asked him.

"No, it... it's just, a tribute. Yeah. See, Sean always got the tributes. He kills himself, leaves me and his family behind... well, he gets another tribute."

"Right. Any idea why he'd do such a thing?" I asked.

"I, I have no clue, I mean he lived a charmed life."

"How so?" I asked.

"He was a flat-out genius. I mean, I'm capable, but next to him, I... and it wasn't always that way, either."

"No?" Dean asked.

"You wanna know the truth? There was a time where he couldn't even design a pup tent. Hell, ten years ago he's working as a bartender at this place called Lloyds. A complete dive."

"Right. So what changed?" Sam asked

"You got me. But overnight, he gets this huge commission, and he starts designing... he starts designing the most ingenious buildings anyone has ever seen. It was like, the level of Van Gogh, and Mozart..."

"What?" I asked after he abruptly cut off.

"It's funny. True geniuses, they seem to die young, don't they? To have that kind of talent? Why... why just throw it away?"

After we left there we went to the Animal Protection Agency, or in other words. The city pound. Dean went in alone once we noticed it was a cute girl working the front. Sam and I sat and waited for him to get back in the car.

"So?" I asked when he got in.

"Secretary's name is Carly. She's twenty three, she, uh, kayaks, and they're real." Dean said grinning.

"You didn't happen to ask her if she's seen any black dogs lately, did you?" Sam asked.

"Every complaint called in this week about anything big, black, or dog-like. There's nineteen calls in all. And, uh, I don't know what this thing is…" Dean said handing him a paper with a sticky note on it. I peered over Sam's shoulder and read the sticky note, I started laughing. Dean was confused.

"You mean Carly's MySpace address?" I asked amused.

"Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that?" He asked. Sam and I both laughed.

" Seriously, is that like some sort of porn site?" Dean asked excitedly.

"De… upstairs brain. For one damn day. Please." I said exasperated. He shrugged and started driving towards the first name on the list.

We were probably half way down the page by now, and it was becoming clearer and clearer that Dean was not a fan of dogs.

"I swear, if this is another freakin' Pomeranian barking in the neighbor's yard..." He grumbled as we knocked. A young woman, probably the maid, opened the door.

"Afternoon, ma'am.. Uh, Animal Control." Dean said showing his badge.

"Oh, someone already came yesterday."

"Oh, we're just following up. We're looking for Dr. Sylvia Pearlman?" Sam quickly explained, the woman opened the door and invited us in.

"The Doctor, well, she, I don't know exactly when she'll be back, she left two days ago." The woman explained.

"Okay. And you are...?" Dean asked.

"I'm Ms. Pearlman's maid." Ha! Nailed it.

"So where did the Doctor go?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. She just packed and went, she didn't say where. That stray dog, did you find it finally?"

"Oh, not yet. You know, you didn't ever happen to see the dog yourself, did you?" Sam said.

"Well, no. I never even heard it." She said.. Hm. That's odd.

"I was almost starting to think the Doctor was imagining things, but she's not like that, so..."

"Hey, you know I read she was, uh chief surgeon at the hospital. She's gotta be what, forty two, forty three? That's pretty young for that job." Dean said.

"Youngest in the history of the place. She got the position... ten years ago?"

"Huh." Dean said.

"Huh. An overnight success. Ten years ago." Sam said as well, we all swapped a look.

"Yeah, we know a guy like that. Oh, look at this…" Dean said holding up a photo. "Lloyd's bar."

We left and went to check in at a motel and get changed. I was so glad to be back in my regular Jeans and a tshirt. Gotta love ACDC. Dean does, I know because I stole his shirt again.

It didn't take us long to get to Lloyd's, it was just some tiny bar in the middle of nowhere. We got out and started looking around at the crossroads right next to the bar.

"Hey." I said getting the boys' attention.

"Yeah?" Sam asked. I pointed over to the grass area beside the road.

"That's weird." Dean said looking over to where the yellow flowers were growing.

"What?" Sam asked.

"Think someone planted these?" I asked

"Middle of all these weeds?" Sam said.

"These are, uh, what do you call 'em." Dean said snapping his fingers.

"Yarrow flowers?" Sam said.

"Yeah. Used for certain rituals, aren't they?"

"Yeah, actually. Summoning rituals."

"Heh. So, two people become sudden successes about ten years ago. Right around the time they were hanging out here at Lloyd's." Dean pondered outloud.

"Where there just happens to be a crossroads. You think?"

"Let's find out." Dean said. He measured out to find the exact center of the crossroads, then he started digging. He didn't dig long before he found a small metal box and pulled it out.

"Yahtzee." He mumbled.

"I'd be willing to bet that's graveyard dirt. And a black cat bone." Sam said as we all pulled out the contents, including a young man's picture.

"That's serious spellwork. I mean, that's Deep South Hoodoo stuff." Dean said.

"Used to summon a demon." I mumbled as I got the sinking feeling… It just now occurred to me… the list that dad gave us to give to Bobby after the car wreck. It had these some of these things on it… I knew he wanted to summon the damn thing, but now the real question is why? I couldn't stand to look at the box anymore. I just stood up and looked away.

"Not just summon one. Crossroads are where pacts are made. These people are actually making deals with the damn thing. You know, 'cause that always ends good." Dean said.

"They're seeing dogs, all right. But not Black Dogs, they're seeing Hellhounds. Demonic pit bulls." Sam explained.

"Yeah, whoever this demon is, it's back and it's collecting. And that doctor lady? Wherever she's running? She ain't running fast enough." Dean said putting the box back down and standing to dust off his pants.

"So it's just like the Robert Johnson legend, right? I mean, selling your soul at the crossroads, kind of deal?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, except that wasn't a legend. I mean, you know his music." Dean said. Sam shrugged in reply.

"You don't know Robert Johnson's songs? Sam, there's, there's occult references all over his lyrics, I mean, Crossroad Blues? Me and the Devil Blues? Hellhound on My Trail?" I asked. Come on Sammy… he just frowns and Dean rolls his eyes.

"The story goes, he died choking on his own blood, he was hallucinating, and muttering about big evil dogs." Dean said.

"And now it's happening all over again." Sam said.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"We've gotta figure out if anyone else struck any bargains around here." Sam said.

"Great. So we've gotta clean up these peoples' mess for 'em? I mean, they're not exactly squeaky clean. Nobody put a gun to their head and forced 'em to play Let's Make A Deal." Dean said bitterly. Taking Sam and I both off guard… if I had to guess he's thinking the same thing I am right now, but I didn't dare meet his eyes, cause then he'd know I knew it too. I don't want to believe it. Any of it. Just the thought makes it hard to swallow.

"So what, we should just leave them to die?" Sam asked.

"Somebody goes over Niagara in a barrel, you gonna jump in and try to save 'em?" Dean asked.

"Dean."

"All right fine. Rituals like this, you've got to put your own photo into the mix, right? So this guy probably summoned this thing, let's go and see if anyone inside knows him. If he's still alive." They turned to walk towards the car.

"Hey I'm gonna wait this one out in the car. I got a headache." I said.

"Yeah. Okay." Dean said without hesitation, Sam gave me an odd look, I quickly looked away and went to the car.

I know I don't have long… I dialed the one number I always knew I could dial. It rang twice.

"Hello?" The gruff voice answered.

"Uncle Bobby?"

"Emily, darling whats going on?" He asked noticing the nervousness in my voice.

"I um. I need to ask you something, and I don't want you to say anything to my brothers. Please."

"Okay…" he answered hesitantly.

"When daddy… when he. He gave us that list of things, you said they were to summon a demon. Why do you think he wanted to summon it?"

There was a long sigh and then a moment of silence.

"Emily darling I don't know anything for sure."

"Bobby… do you think he would have made a deal?" I whispered feeling nauseous just thinking about it.

Another long pause. Guess that's my answer.

"You know what, just. Nevermind… Um. Please. Don't tell Dean or Sam I called okay?" I said quickly. Not sure I could handle hearing the confirmation out of his mouth.

"Emily I-" He said sadly.

"Bye Bobby. Love you." I said before hanging up the phone. It feels like the ground beneath me is trembling. I feel angry. I feel devastated. I feel like someone put a knife in my gut. How could he? Did he… NO. No. Surely not… He wouldn't do that. He wouldn't leave me on purpose. Forever. Leave me with no way to fix this… nothing. No. He couldn't. How could he. I tried to convince myself that its not true. It was the only thing I felt like could hold me together at the moment.

I spent the next 10 minutes laying down in the backseat in pure silence. Convincing myself that daddy didn't leave me on purpose. That he didn't make a deal with the demon who killed my mother. That he isn't in hell…

The sound of the doors opening caused me to jump. But I didn't get up. I kept my face to the back of the seat so I didn't have to look at them. They'd know something was wrong. So instead I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

"Em?" Sam called. I stayed still with level breathing.

"She's sleeping dude. Let her be." Dean said before pulling away. I could hear Sam turn back around.

It wasn't long before the car stopped again. Sam reached back and shook me gently.

"Kiddo wake up."

"Hmm?" I groaned not turning around.

"We're at this guys place. I think you should come in."

I sat up and opened the door, the boys got out and I followed them.

"What's this guy's name again?" I asked.

"George Darrow. Apparently quite the regular at Lloyd's. Though this house probably ain't up next on MTV Cribs, is it?" Dean said as we walked up.

"Yeah. So whatever kind of deal he made.." Sam started.

"Wasn't for cash. Oh, who knows. Maybe this place is full of babes in Princess Leia bikinis." Dean finished. Sam sighed.

"No, I'm just saying, this guy's got one epic bill come due. Hope at least he asked for something fun." Dean said. I just rather not comment. We reached the landing in front of apartment 4C, there was some sort of black powder all around the front of the door.

"Look at that." I said pointing it out to the boys, they leaned down to get a better look.

"What is that, pepper?" Dean asked while rubbing his fingers in it.

Suddenly the door opens and a very average old man in a very dirty shirt appears.

"Who the hell are you?"

"George Darrow?" Dean asked him.

"I'm not buying anything." He said before trying to close the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, looks like you went for the wrong shaker there. Hey. Usually when you want to keep something evil out you go for the salt." Dean told him. He got an odd look on his face suddenly.

"I don't know what you talkin' about."

"Talkin' about this." I said holding up the small picture of him.

"Tell me. You seen that Hellhound yet?" Dean asked him. He got an angry look on his face.

"Look. We want to help. Please. Just five minutes." Sam said. George opened the door and let us in.

"So what is that stuff out front?" I asked.

"Goofer Dust." What the fuck?

"What, you think you know somethin' about somethin' but not Goofer dust?" He said surprised before tossing a bag of it to Dean.

"Well, we know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous." Dean answered.

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Hoodoo. My grandma taught me. Keeps out demons."

"Demons we know." I said.

"Well, then. Maybe it'll do you some good." He said sitting down with some whiskey and a pocket watch. "Four minutes left." He mumbles. I look up to Sam and Dean. Sam steps forward towards him.

"Mr. Darrow. We know you're in trouble." Sam said.

"Yeah, that you got yourself into." Dean added earning him a glare from Sam.

"But it's not hopeless, all right? There's gotta be something we can do." Sam said half to George and half to Dean.

"Listen. I get that you want to help. But sometimes a person makes their bed, they've just got to lie down in it. I'm the one called that demon in the first place."

"What'd you do it for?" I asked.

"I was weak. I mean, who don't want to be great? Who don't want their life to mean something? I just... I just never thought about the price."

"Was it worth it?" I asked him.

"Hell no. 'Course, I asked for talent. Shoulda gone for fame. I'm still broke, and lonely. Just now I got this pile of paintings don't nobody want. But that wasn't the worst."

"Go on." Sam said.

"Demon didn't leave. I never counted on that. After our deal was done the damn thing stayed at Lloyd's for a week. Just chattin'. Makin' more deals. I tried to warn folks, but, I mean who's goin' to listen to an old drunk?"

"How many others are there?" Dean asked.

"Uh, the architect, that doctor lady — I kept up with them, they've been in the papers. Least they got famous."

"Who else, George? Come on, think."

"One more. Uh, nice guy too. Hudson. Evan, I think. I don't know what he asked for. Don't matter now. We done for."

"No. No, there's gotta be a way." Sam said.

"You don't get it! I don't want a way!" George suddenly said loudly.

"Look, you don't –"

"I called that thing! I brought it on myself. I brought it on them. I'm going to hell, one way or another. All I want is to finish my last painting. Day or two, I'm done. I'm just trying to hold them off 'till then. Buy a little time. Okay. Times up, go help somebody that wants help."

"We can't just —"

"Get out! I got work to do." George stood and yelled. Walking over to his paintings.

"You don't really want to die." I said to him softly.

"I don't? I'm... I'm tired." He said looking at me. His eyes. They were dull. Lifeless. As if he was already dead. I gave up and walked out, Dean and Sam not far behind me.

"Alright we gotta find this guy." Sam said as we got back in the car.

"Why? Its probably too late anyways." I mumbled from the backseat with my eyes focused out the window.  
"Oh come on Em. Don't make me fight you on this too… I'm already fighting Dean. Just. Give me a chance to figure something out."

"Okay Sammy." I said softly. Not looking at him.

When I did glance up again it was Dean's eyes that I caught looking back in the rearview mirror. He stared at me. He knew exactly what I was thinking. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was thinking the exact same thing. Dammit dad. I start to feel my control slip so I quickly looked away and took a deep breath. Dean put the car in drive and started down the road.

It didn't take long to find the guy. Next thing I knew we were walking up to another door. Sam hopeful, me and Dean just going through the motions at this point.

"Yes?" The man who answered the door said. He looked average too. But he looked scared. He knows its coming.

"Evan Hudson?" Sam asked. The guy nodded.

"You ever been to a bar called Lloyd's? Would have been about ten years ago." Dean said. The man quickly slams the door and latched it.

"Come on, we're not demons!" Dean yelled banging on the door.

"Any other bright ideas?" I ask the boys after a moment with no response. Dean takes one step back and kicks the door in. We walked in and began to search for Evan. We come across another door, dean rears back to kick it in as well but Sam stops him and glares as the unlocked door easily swings open.

"Evan?" I asked stepping through the doorway. He quickly jumped out terrified.

"Please! Don't hurt me." He begged.

"We're not going to hurt you, all right? We're here to help you." Sam said comfortingly taking small steps towards him.

"We know all about the genius deal you made." Dean added flatly

"What? How?"

"Doesn't matter. All that matters is, we're trying to stop it." Sam told him.

"How do I know you're not lying?"

"Well, you don't, but you're kinda running low on options there, buddy-boy." Dean said.

"Can you stop it?" Evan asked as he swallowed and began pacing.

"Don't know. We'll try." I said honestly.

"I don't want to die." He said pleadingly.

"Of course you don't, not now." Dean said harshly.

"Dean. Stop." Sam said quietly.

"What'd you ask for anyway, Evan? Huh? Never need Viagra? Bowl a perfect game? What?" Dean asked.

"My wife." He said with no hesitation.

"Right. Gettin' the girl. Well, that's worth a trip to hell for." Dean laughed. What an ass, but honestly I'm not sure how I fell about all this either.

"Dean, stop." Sam said again.

"No. He's right, I made the deal. Nobody twisted my arm, that... woman, or whatever she was, at the bar? She said I could have anything I wanted. I thought she was nuts at first, but... I don't know how to— I was desperate." Evan said with power behind his voice. I was impressed with his perseverance against Dean's piss poor attitude. Dean gets to people easily.

"Desperate?" I asked.

"Julie was dying."

"You did it to save her?" Dean asked surprised. I caught his eyes.

"She had cancer, they'd stopped treatment, they were moving her into hospice, they kept saying... a matter of days. So yeah, I made the deal. And I'd do it again. I'd have died for her on the spot."

"Did you ever think about her in all this?" Dean asked.

"I did this for her."

"You sure about that? I think you did it for yourself. So you wouldn't have to live without her. But guess what? She's going to have to live without you now. But what if she knew how much it cost? What if she knew it cost your soul? How do you think she'd feel?" Dean said full of anger. I stepped in front of him. He never took his eyes off of Evan.

"Okay, that's enough. You just sit tight, all right? We're going to figure this out." Sam told him pulling Dean away. I followed Dean into the hallway, Sam right behind me.

"You all right?" Sam asked him.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? Hey, I got an idea. You throw George's hoodoo at that Hellhound, keep it away from Evan as long as you can. I'm gonna go to the crossroads and summon the demon."

"Summon— are you nuts?" I asked loudly.

"Maybe a little. But I can trap it. I can exorcise it, and I can buy us time to figure out something more permanent."

"Yeah, but how much time?" Sam asked him.

"I don't know, a while. I mean, it's not easy for those suckers to claw their way back from hell and into the sunshine."

"No. No way." I said stepping forward.

"You're not allowed to say no, Em, not unless you've got a better idea."

"Dean, you can forget it, all right? I'm not letting you summon that demon."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like where your head is at right now, that's why not." I said giving him a knowing look.

"What are you talking about?" He asked annoyed.

"You know what I'm talking about Dean! Its tearing you to pieces… just like it is me. Just the thought of it kills you on the inside. Okay. I get it. I know. I'm pissed. I'm hurt. But I will NOT lose you too. I won't. I'll wreck your fucking car before I let you drive it back to that crossroads."

"We don't have time for this!" He yelled at me trying to push past but I kept placing myself right in front of him.

"So this is all about Dad. You think maybe Dad made one of these deals, huh? Hell. I've been thinking it. I knew Em was as soon as we found the ingredients in the box… You're not stupid. I figured you were too. But this is beyond stupid." Sam said trying another tactic at stopping him from going.

"It fits, doesn't it? I'm alive, Dad's dead. The yellow-eyed demon was involved. What if he did? What if he struck a deal? My life for his soul?" Dean finally said softly. It broke my heart to watch his face when he said the words out loud. It broke my heart even more to know that Dean and Sam both believed it. It made it impossible for me to think otherwise.

"I think I hear it! It's outside!" Evan suddenly screamed. I turned towards him and Dean took his chance to slide past me and get to the door.

"Just keep him alive, okay?" He yelled.

"Dean! No! Get back here." I yelled chasing after him.

"Go!" He yelled back fiercely. I screamed in frustration before turning back and joining Evan and Sam.

"Why the fuck didn't you stop him?" I screamed at Sam when I got in the room. He didn't even chase after him. He just went back to save Evan. We have a brother to worry about.

"Emily he wasn't going to listen."

"So what Sam?! We hold him down, knock him out, let the damn dog eat this guy and Dean wouldn't have gone!"

"Emily that's enough." Sam said. For the first time he sounded like Dad. It stopped me dead in my tracks. "We have a job to do. This guy. He's the job. Dean gets that. I get that. Like it or not, you better learn to get a grip on it."

I glared back at him in silence.

"Look. I know you're off your game right now. I know what's in your head. I know its killing you. But you gotta shove all that aside. This guy is gonna die without us." He said softer than before.

"Fine. What do we do.."

"Take this, get all the doors and windows. Just like salt." He said handing me the goofer dust.

"What is that stuff?" Evan asked.

"Goofer dust." Sam answered.

"You serious?"

"Yeah. 'Fraid so. Look. Believe me, don't believe me, whatever you want. Just whatever you do, stay inside the circle, all right?" Sam said as he made a circle around where Evan stood.

Evan nodded. When I finished Sam pulled me to stand in the circle with them. It wasn't a second later before Evan suddenly spun around nervously.

"Did you hear it?" He asked in a whisper.

"No, where?" Sam asked. I listened closely but heard nothing.

"Its right outside the door." Evan said shakily pointing at the main doors to the room I looked down to double check that I had lined it with goofer dust.

The door began to rattle violently and I grabbed onto Sam. He pulled me close to him and kept Evan placed behind us.

"Sam. That doors not gonna hold." I whispered.

"I know. Dean's gotta work fast." He said back.

"Should we run?!" Evan asked.

"No! Just. Whatever you do stay inside this circle." Sam answered him.

The pounding on the door intensified, and then again, but as quickly as it all started everything went silent.

"That can't be a good sign…" I mumbled.

"Do you hear it?" Sam asked Evan.

"No. Is it over?"

Before Sam or I got the chance to reply we heard something kicking at a grate on the other side of the room, we all spun in time to see it fly off the hinges.

"Its here!" Evan cried loudly. He makes a move to run but Sam grabs him.

"No! Stay in the circle!"

We watched as dust was blown around the room, I can only assume this was the hellhound. What I didn't count on was it blowing away the dust that outlined our circle.

"Circle's broken! Come on go go go!" Sam said pulling Evan and I and running out the door and down the hall. I could hear the hound on our asses so I turned and pulled my gun.

"Emily no!" Sam yelled.

I got off 2 shots but it was wasted effort when something tackled me to the ground and I felt razors being torn into my flesh. I remember screaming, the pain, the blood. Then blackness.

(Dean's POV)

"... in potentis Magnife!" I yelled almost finishing the exorcism.

"Wait!" The demon cried out. I stopped. She motioned for me to step forward, I did. Before I knew what was happening she pulled me into a long kiss.

"What the hell was that for?" I asked as she broke away.

"Sealing the deal."

"I usually like to be warned before I'm violated with demon tongue."

"Evan Hudson is free. He and his wife will live long lives."

"How do I know you're not lying?" Like all the rest of you bastards do.

"My word is my bond."

"Oh, really?"

"It is when I make a deal. It's the rules. You got what you wanted. Now let me go." I took a step back, and picked up the rosary again. Her expression went from pissed to scared instantly, then back to pissed.

"You're gonna double-cross me? Funny how I'm the trustworthy one."

I shrugged. Debating on whether or not to let her go. She's a demon. She deserves to go back to hell.

"You know, you renege? Send me to hell? Sooner or later I'm gonna climb out, and skinning Evan Hudson will be the first thing that I do."

Well played. I smiled and put away my rosary. Then I stepped forward and climbed up the old wooden tower and broke loose a board, freeing her from the devil's trap. She confidently stepped away from it and turned to face me again.

"I gotta tell you. You would have never pulled that stunt if you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Where your dad is. You should have made that deal. See, people talk about hell, but it's just a word. It doesn't even come close to describing the real thing." I felt the blood inside my body run cold. I figured he gave his life for mine, but I hoped that maybe he spared his soul… guess I should have known better. My dad. He's rotting in hell. Miserable every second of every day for eternity. All to save me. Why? How could he do that…

"Shut your mouth, bitch." I sneered.

"If you could see your poor daddy? Hear the sounds he makes 'cause he can't even scream?"

"How about I send you back there?" I said stepping towards her, willing to do anything to shut her up. She suddenly threw her head back and vacated the body in the form of a large black cloud of smoke.

"What... how did I get here?" The girl asked coming back to consciousness. She looked at me terrified. No clue what had just happened. I got her inside the bar so she could call a ride, then I left.

If I never see this crossroads again it'll be too soon.

How could he do this. I mean what did he think I would never find out?! Did he think I'd understand?! Because I don't. I never will. How am I supposed to get up everyday and face the guilt that my father went to hell to save me because I couldn't keep my sorry ass alive. Did he really even think about how I'd feel after all this? How Emily and Sam would feel. Will they blame me? Will they leave me… Will Emily ever be able to look at me the same now that she knows the truth. I could see it in her eyes. She had it figured out probably before I did. Its been gnawing at her all day like it has me. Sam is the only one really handling it. I never understood how he could always be so levelheaded about things. How he could always work through this shit. Hes got to be the most well adjusted person in this family.

I pulled back into the drive way and honked, waiting for them to come out. They didn't. I honked again. Still nothing. Then I got the feeling something wasn't right. I got out and walked inside.

"Sam? Em?" I called.

"Dean! Back here!" I heard Sam's voice call out, somethings wrong. I rush to the sound of his voice. When I get there I see blood all over the floor.

"Oh god… What the hell happened?!" I yelled as I got down and applied pressure to one of the bleeding wounds down the side of Emily's body.

"The hell hound was on our ass, she turned and took the shot trying to buy us a minute to get away. He attacked. Then he just disappeared." Sam said frantically as he continued to tie ripped pieces of cloth around her thigh to control the bleeding.

"We gotta get her outta here, we gotta stitch these up if we wanna stop the bleeding." I said picking her up and carrying her to the impala. I let Sam get in the backseat then handed her off, we were only minutes from the motel and Sam rushed her in onto the bed while I grabbed the med kit.

"Okay, we're gonna have to cut these jeans." Sam said realizing there was no good way to get to the 3 deep slashes on her leg and side.

"She's gonna love that." I mumbled as I reached for the scissors. I reached up and cut all the way up the pants leg. At least they aren't the sparkly ones, then she'd really be pissed. Sam rolled up the bloody tshirt halfway so he could see to stitch her side up, it didn't go up very far thankfully.

"Damn this thing must have razor blades for claws." I said noticing how clean all the cuts were, there was no tearing in the tissue, all clean smooth cuts.

"Would have been nice to be able to see the damn thing so we'd know what we were actually up against." Sam said as he started the stitching on her side. I was trying to wipe some of the blood off of her so I could get a clear view at what I was stitching. As I got up towards her hip I noticed a dark patch, it looked like dirt and blood, I kept trying to scrub it off, but it wasn't going anywhere, then I realized it had a distinct shape.

"Son. Of. A. Bitch…" I muttered.

"What?" Sam asked looking over.

"I can't believe she fucking did it."

"Did what? Dean. Talk to me." Sam said not realizing what he was looking at from upside down.

"It's a fucking tattoo Sam! She got a tattoo!"

"What?! No. She wouldn't do that, its probably dried blood or dirt." Sam said.

"Oh yeah? In the shape of two revolvers?" I asked gesturing towards the tattoo strategically placed on her hip, smart little bitch. She knew how to hide it. Guess she didn't count on getting sliced. Dammit Em!

Sam moved to stand next to me and took a rag, trying to scrub it off.

"Oh trust me, I tried. Its not going anywhere." I sighed.

"Lets just finish the stitches and we'll deal with this later." I said grabbing the needle and going back to the slash down her outer thigh.

It took us an hour to stitch it all up, then I went and got a clean bucket of soapy water to clean all the blood off before disinfecting the wounds with some alcohol. Probably a good thing she's passed out for that part. Burns like hell.

"Alright, lets get a better look at this thing." I said as I handed Sam a rag and we started to wash all the blood off. It was a lot, but I think after a few days rest she'll be okay. Its not a fatal amount of blood loss, her body just needs a day or so to recover. Not that she'll listen. Just like with this tattoo… I told her no. I told her no over and over and over again. She did it anyways. Guess I shouldn't be surprised. She never listened that well in the first place.

We finally got all the blood off, if it was on anyone else's body then I'd have to appreciate the beauty in the details of the guns. Whoever did it was damn good. I started at the bottom, seeing roses, and the USMC emblem, as my eyes traveled down the barrel on the one with the roses I stopped.

"M.W…. Mary Winchester." I said outloud.

"And on the other side J.W." Sam said softly. "She got it for mom and dad. Dean look man, I know you're pissed. But. Can you really blame her? It is beautiful."

"Yeah. I can. I told her no Sam. Regardless what its for I told her not to do it… This is permanent! It'll never come off."

"No shit Dean that's kinda the point." Sam said, I shot him a bitchface.

"I get the fucking point of a tattoo Sammy. That's not what I meant. I mean what happens if she changes her mind about it 10 years from now?"

"Dean. Its mom and dad, she's not gonna change her mind. I'm not saying let it go, I'm just saying that we could have lost her tonight… When she wakes up I don't think our first move should be to jump down her throat- and when you do decide to bring it up keep in mind WHY she did it. She never knew mom like us… losing dad was so hard on her. This, this tattoo… it makes no sense to you, it makes no sense to me. But for her maybe its her way of always having them with her, together. I mean come on, could she have picked a better way to represent them?"

I stared back at him in silence before taking a deep breath.

"I'll wait till she's back on her feet to bring it up. In the meantime, we need to get these clothes off, and change the sheets out on the bed." I said as I poured alcohol over all the wounds to disinfect them before wrapping them in clean bandages.

"Okay. You can get her dressed." I said walking away.

"What?! No way. You do it." Sam shot back.

"Um. No. That's weird."

"Oh what and its not weird for me?"

"Come on Sammy you've always been half girl." I said with a wink. He shot a bitch face before holding out his hands.

"Seriously? Rock paper scissors?" I asked flatly.

"Look alright, its awkward for both of us, but someone's gotta do it."

"Dammit." I mumbled putting my hands out.

"Rock Paper Scissors Shoot!" We both said as I flipped out Rock. The toughest one.

"Dammit!" I said as I realized Sam laid out paper. No way in hell paper could ever beat rock. Its weak.

"Best two out of three." I offered. Sam rolled his eyes but we did it again.

"No! Fuck!"

"Ha. Always with the rock Dean. I'm gonna grab some food, I'll be back when you're done." Sam said walking out the door.

Well shit.

When she was little it was no big deal, I bathed her, changed her diapers, helped her get dressed. But the older she got the more she wanted her independence, and I was happy to give it to her. She would be mortified to know Sam or I had to dress her as if she was a little kid again. I finally got her dressed and laid into the clean bed, then I stripped and burned the old sheets before going down and asking for new ones in the office. Can't exactly send blood soaked sheets back with the maid. People tend to get a little worried and call the cops.

"Hey." Sam said as he walked through the room with food.

"Hey." I said sitting at the table with a beer. Staring off at nothing.

"She doing okay?"

"Yeah. Shes just gonna need to sleep this one off, her body needs the rest anyways."

"Dean. Do you wanna talk about this before she wakes up or what?"

"Talk about what Sam?"

"Dad."

"There's nothing to talk about." I said getting up to get another beer.

"Dean. I know you better than that. You were different when you showed back up. What did the demon say."

"I was different cause when I walked in our sister was unconscious pouring blood out of her body!"

"No! Dean. Its not just that. Come on. Be honest with me for once! What did the damn demon say about dad? I have a right to know."

"You don't wanna know!" I screamed at him inches from his face.

"…De." I heard a small voice say in the background.

Sam and I both were at the bedside in seconds.

"Hey kiddo… how you feeling." I asked brushing her hair out of her face.

"Dean. Is daddy in hell?" She asked weakly, barely able to open her red brimmed eyes. I looked up to Sam, who looked at me like he wanted an answer just as badly. But how can I tell them? How could I ever tell them? Their father, our father, is in hell because of me. They'll hate me. I could never live with myself if that ever happened. I can't lose them.

"Babygirl don't worry about that right now. You're in rough shape. Lets just get you feeling better okay?" I said forcing a small smile.

"De. Please…" She whispered. I stared at those big brown eyes. Just like dad's. I got green, Sam got hazel. But Em. Her eyes were as dark as dad's since the day she was born. How could I ever let my little girl down like that. How could I lay such a burden on her. But in the same breath, I know I can't lie to her. She'd know better. She'd figure it out. She always does.

"Emily. I'm so sorry… I wish I could fix it. I wish he never made the deal. I'm so sorry."

She closed her eyes and bit down on her lip. I looked up to Sam. To see his broken expression. He never once looked back at me. Just stared down at the ugly pattern on the blanket.

I went to get up and walk away but a hand grabbed at me. Emily pulled me down and wrapped her arms around my neck, she clung to me tightly. I didn't dare try and pull away, instead I used one hand to push her up closer to me.

"It's not your fault De." She whispered to me. "You lost daddy too, not just me."

She finally let go and pulled Sam to sit closer to her.

"We all did." She whispered hugging him. I watched as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head. I didn't disturb them for a moment. Letting them rely on each other again, it was good for them.

"Kiddo. You need to get some rest. You're gonna be down for the count for a while." I said as I could see her eyes slowly slipping closed again. She was so weak, so tired. For once in her life she didn't argue. She just moved to lay back down comfortably on her back. I went to leave but was again pulled back.

"De… don't blame yourself. He did it because he loves you. He loves us all. He knew we needed you." She barely whispered, not even opening her eyes.

"Get some sleep kiddo." I whispered back. She finally let me go.

(Emily's POV)

"Ow! Fuck!" I groaned swinging my legs over the edge of the bed.

"Take it easy Em. Don't push too much." Sam said standing in front of me incase I fell.

"Sam. I've been asleep for a day and a half. I need to get up." I said looking up at him annoyed. They've babied me all morning since I woke up. Forcing juice on me, trying to get my blood sugar back up.

"Okay. Okay… just. Go slow." He said with his hands raised, realizing I was irritated.

I took a deep breath and bit down on my lip as I pushed myself up off the bed. It hurt like hell. Fucking hellhound must have cut all the way down to the muscle on my leg.

I took one step, then another, then I stumbled and reached out for Sam as he reached out for me.

"Shit.." I mumbled.

"Its okay. Just. Try again." He said steadying me on my feet again. I was able to walk to the table and sit down next to Dean, Sam got me a water from the fridge, I happily welcomed it. I was sick and tired of juice. Ugh.

"So. Em. Now that you're up we need to talk." Dean said glaring at me.

"Well are you going to make me guess what its about or are you gonna start talking?" I asked with a sarcastic smile.

"Well, those cuts went pretty far up your leg, we had to cut your jeans off… wiped off all the blood and dirt. Except. Part of it wasn't coming off." He said with eyebrows raised. Evaluating my reaction. It wasn't until he said "it wasn't coming off" that I realized he'd seen it. Shit.

"Did it get messed up?" I asked staring at the table. I hadn't even thought about where I was cut.

"No. Its fine." Sam said quietly. He didn't sound angry. But I didn't dare look up to Dean. I know he's fuming.

"Emily Anne Winchester you have 30 seconds to start talking before I tear you a new one." Dean said much too calm for comfort.

I sat back and sighed with my eyes closed. I knew he'd find out eventually. I was just hoping to buy myself more time than this.

"Dean. I asked you. You said no. You couldn't understand why I needed to do this."

"Emily you just took the words out of my mouth, I SAID NO! You deliberately went behind my back and did it. Then you hid it from me! I mean come on kiddo did you think I'd never see it? Not that you didn't pick a damn good hiding place but something like this was bound to happen in our line of work. I mean come on kiddo. What the hell were you thinking getting a tattoo? You're only 16!"

"Dean you and I both know that I've seen and done a hell of a lot more at 16 then I should have. I'm not just a regular teenager. I'm mature enough to make that decision for myself. Its my body. Its not hurting anyone… I wanted it for me. I wanted it for dad, and mom… Dean. Please. Try to understand." I begged. "I wanted to believe they were finally together again." I added softly… all the anger in his face fell.

"Dean I'm sorry I lied." I said reaching out for his hand, he pulled it away from me before I could put my hand in his.

"Never again. No more lies." He said harshly before he got up and stormed out.

Grrrreat.

"Well kiddo. Could have been worse." Sam said sitting next to me.

"Could have been better." I countered.

"So what do you wanna do about it?" He asked me.

"If I give you a list of stuff will you run to the store for me while I shower?"

"Em are you sure you can? You could barely walk over here."

"Sam. I stink. I'm getting a shower." I said stubbornly.

"Alright… fine." He said handing me a pen and some scratch paper.

I wrote down all the things I'd need to make homemade apple pie. Dean's favorite. It's the best way to kiss ass. After Sam left I hobbled my way to the bathroom and turned on the water, I couldn't go as hot as I'd like but any kind of warm water and soap was enough to satisfy me at the moment. It felt so nice to be able to wash my hair. When I got out I lingered in front of the mirror, examining the cuts down my body, it would be a nice addition to my set of scars… geez. I'll never be able to wear a swimsuit again.

Between these and the one across my stomach, I'll probably never get naked again in front of another person ever again.

I hobbled my way back out and saw that Sam was back, he had all my stuff laid out on the counter and he sat on the bed on his laptop. Probably looking up a case.

I started on the pie, not sure how long Dean would be gone. I'm sure he's at a bar somewhere, picking up some chick. Even if it is barely noon.

It was dark out before I heard the rumble of the impala, I was already laying down in bed. The now cold pie sat out on the table, where its been waiting for him all day. Sam was asleep, I figured it was best to pretend I was too.

I heard Dean stumble in, drunk.

He made his way to the fridge, part of me hoped he was going to get a water, the other part knew it was a beer. I heard him sit down at the table. Then I could make out the sound as he lifted the fork and began to eat the pie.

"Mm." He said after a few bites. "You always could make a damn good pie. Too bad its only when you're trying to kiss ass." He said, knowing I wasn't asleep. I slowly got up and walked to sit across from him.

"How's the stitches." He asked not looking up at me, just taking another bite.

"Fine. Held up in the shower." I answered. He shook his head. Then there was just silence as he took another bite.

"Dean I-"

"Emily don't. Its done and over with… just. No more lies." He said holding out the other fork. I took it with a small smile and we continued eating pie at one in the morning.


	30. Chapter 30

Author's note: Can't believe we're at chapter 30 already! Okay, question. Should Emily reveal her secret this season? Or next season after Dean makes his deal? I'll let you guys decide. I can fit it in either way pretty easily I think. But I'll leave this one up to yall! Thanks for all the love! Please keep reading and reviewing!

PS: I wanted to make sure I got this out to you guys tonight. I didn't get to proofread the second half so I'm sorry if its sloppy. Love you guys! I'll read it tomorrow and see if It needs fixing! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Kiddo. I'm just saying. There ain't nothing wrong with a beer or two after a hard days work."

"Right. And if it was only a beer or two after a long day then I wouldn't say anything. I mean come on Dean. You're not a drunk or anything. I'm just saying. We make a lot of beer runs… Not that I mind the driving practice."

"Yeah yeah, just look at the road. Not me. Dean said as he took another sip of his beer. I swear. Most people are 90% water… Dean is 90% beer."

"Sir yes sir." I mocked, earning a light slap on the back of the head.

"Ow! Hey. That's my gig. Not yours." I said reaching over and slapping him back, he chuckled before telling me to keep my eyes on the road again.

We got back to the motel pretty quickly.

"I'll race you to the door I said as Dean shut his door. We looked at each other for a split second before taking off at full speed. I may have short legs but they've learned to move quickly to keep up with my two giants.

I was almost at the door and reached for the knob when something large and clumsy slammed me against it with all his body weight.

"Dammit! Dean!" I grumbled half laughing.

We fought for a second over the door handle before I pinched him under his bicep and he finally let it go, I turned the knob and went to dart in, him still on my ass. But something caught my attention.

"Sammy you okay?" I asked taking in his freaked out appearance. He was breathing heavily. When we left he was peacefully sleeping, somethings up.

"No…" He mumbled. I immediately made my way to the bedside.

"Sammy what's wrong… talk to me." I said sitting down in front of him. He looked at me, then up to Dean, I could see the fear in his eyes. He saw something.

"We gotta go." Was all he said before getting up and packing the car, Dean and I right behind him. Sam drove since Dean was still too buzzed to drive, although to be quite honest I think this whole thing has sobered him up, funny how that works. His big brother instincts always win out.

"Okay… so explain this to me again." I said from the backseat.

"There are only two towns in the US named Rivergrove." Sam explained.

"How come you're so sure it's the one in Oregon?"

"There was a picture. Crater Lake."

"Okay, what else?" Dean asked him.

"I saw a dark room, some people, and a guy tied to a chair."

"And I ventilated him?" Dean asked surprised.

"Yeah. You thought there was something inside him."

"What, a demon? Was he possessed?" I asked.

"I don't know." Sam sighed.

"Well, all your weirdo visions are always tied to the Yellow-Eyed Demon somehow . . . so was there any black smoke? Did we try to exorcise it?" Dean asked.

"No. Nothing, you just plugged him, that's it."

"Well, I'm sure I had a good reason." Said sure of himself.

"I sure hope so." Sam mumbled, I looked up and caught his eyes in the mirror. He was seriously worried about Dean.

"What does that mean?" Dean asked slightly offended. There was a long silence.

"I mean, I'm not gonna waste an innocent man." Dean said defending himself. I kept to myself in the backseat and Sam raised his eyebrows.

"I wouldn't!" Dean shouted.

"I never said you would!" Sam shouted back.

"Fine!"

"Fine! Look, we don't know what it is. But whatever it is, that guy in the chair's a part of it. So let's find him, and see what's what." Sam said.

"Fine." Dean mumbled.

"Fine." Sam mumbled back.

"For the love of all things good… please knock it off. Both of you." I said firmly. Ending their little spat.

It was morning before we made it into town, taking turns sleeping, Sam mostly drove. Dean napped and then took over for the last of the drive. The closer we got to the town the harder it was to sleep…. This feeling. Deep in my stomach. It just felt like something was off.

We got to town and I let Dean and Sam go talk to someone while I walked around a bit, observing, its more believable when there are two older marshalls, having a teenage girl with you kinda makes it suspicious.

Everything in this town seems normal… its obviously an outdoorsy town. Lots of hunting, fishing, hiking, camping.

I went back towards Sam and Dean, waiting while they finished talking to the man cleaning rifles on a front porch. We walked down the sidewalk a little ways.

"So. See anything?" Dean asked me.

"No. Actually there's not one damn thing out of place… which means somethings got to be wrong here."

"Yeah. You're probably right." Sam agreed.

We were almost back to the impala when Sam froze.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"I don't know… Come take a look at this." Sam said as he examined the telephone pole in front of him, Dean and I walked to stand by him.

"Croatoan?" Dean read outloud. It was carved into the pole.

"Yeah." Sam said expeciting Dean to know what this meant… Dean just had a blank look on his face.

"Roanoke? Lost colony? Ring a bell? Dean, did you pay any attention in history class?" I asked him rolling my eyes.

"Yeah! Shots heard 'round the world, How bills becomes a laws…" He went on. I laughed, throwing my hand over my mouth. He looked at me slightly offended.

"That's not school, that's Schoolhouse Rock." Sam said deadpanned.

"Whatever." Dean groaned.

"Roanoke was one of the first English colonies in America, late 1500s?" Sam hinted at.

"Oh yeah, yeah, I do remember that. The only thing they left behind was a single word carved in a tree. Croatoan." Dean said finally catching on.

"Yeah. And I mean, there were theories — Indian raid, disease, but nobody knows what really happened. They were all just gone. I mean, wiped out overnight." I said quietly while I stared down the word in front of me, just looking at it sent chills down my spine and put a sick feeling in my gut.

"You don't think that's what's going on here, I mean…" Dean started.

"Whatever I saw in my head, it sure wasn't good. But what do you think could do that?" Sam asked.

"Well, I mean, like I said, all of your weirdo visions are always tied to the Yellow-Eyed Demon somehow, so…"

"We should get help. Bobby, uh, Ellen maybe?"

"No." I said speaking up, they both turned to look at me.

"We need to leave. I'm serious. Somethings wrong here. Seriously wrong… we need to leave." I said firmly.

"Emily we're fine. Besides, we can't just leave all these people here to… whatever the hell is gonna happen." Sam said trying to reassure me.

"No.. Sammy please… I'm begging you… leave this one alone. We don't have to be the ones to handle this. We can call someone else out here on our way out of town." I pleaded.

"Come on kiddo, it'll be fine. We handle this stuff for a living." Dean said trying to get me to focus on why we came here in the first place.

"Please. Just the one time… I'm telling you both. Somethings seriously off. We HAVE to leave. Dean… you know I've never been wrong." I said looking him in the eye. I never have been. Every time I get a strong feeling like this it's always been right.

"Em lets just call Bobby, see what he knows, and then ask him what he thinks we should do. We'll decide then okay?" Sam offered. I huffed and wrapped my arms around my chest. Sam wrapped his arm around me pulling me into him. I stayed stiff.

"Yeah, that's a good idea." Dean said pulling out his cell phone. But he looked down and frowned.

"I don't have a signal." He said, Sam and I pulled out our phones… same.

"I don't either." Sam said.

Dean turned and we followed him as he walked to the payphone on the corner. He picked it up but paused as the "out of service" tone sounded out. Shit… this is not good.

"Line's dead… I'll tell you one thing. If I was gonna massacre a town, that'd be my first step." He said turning to look at Sam and I.

"We're leaving…" I said flatly, turning towards the car but someone grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Emily we can't just leave. We have to figure this out. All these people could die if we don't." Dean said gesturing to the scene of townsfolk around us.

"Dean. Please… We need to leave. This is wrong… All of this. We have got to go." I said to him desperately.

"Em, we're gonna be okay." Sam said as he pulled me into a hug.

I shook my head and mumbled against him.

"We're gonna regret this."

Dean drove us to the home of the boy we think Sam saw, the house was precious. Country living for sure. It sat on a nice lot, surrounded by woods.

When Sam knocked on the door a DAMN fine boy answered the door.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"We're looking for Duane Tanner; he lives here, right?" Dean said flashing his badge.

"Yeah, he's my brother."

"Can we talk to him?"

"Oh, he's not here right now."

"Do you know where he is?" Sam asked him.

"Yeah, he went on a fishing trip up by Roslyn Lake." The kid answered right away.

"Your parents home?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, they're inside."

"Jake? Who is it?" Asked an older man walking up behind the kid, I assume he's the dad.

"Hi, U.S. Marshals, sir, we're looking for your son Duane." Dean said flashing the badge again.

"Wh-why? He's not in trouble, is he?"

"No, no, no. We just need to ask him a couple of routine questions, that's all." I assured him.

"When's he due back from his trip?" Sam asked.

"I'm not sure."

"Well, maybe your wife knows." I suggested softly.

"No, I don't know, she's not here right now." He said. There. Caught it. Lie number one. Either from him or the kid.

"Your son said she was." Dean said flatly.

"Did I?" The kid asked innocently.

"She's getting groceries. So, when Duane gets back, there's a number where he can get a hold of you?" The father answered immediately.

"Oh no, we'll just check in with you later." I said with a smile. We turned to walk away and waited till the door was closed to talk.

"That was kind of creepy, right? A little too Stepford?" Dean asked.

"Big time. Plus I think the dad's lying… the mom is in there I bet." I said quietly, Sam tapped Dean's shoulder and nodded to the side of the house, I pulled my gun and followed their lead. We crouched down to get past the window and made our way to the back door. Once there we could see the wife, she was tied and bound in a chair, then the husband and son entered the room. They stood around her and the son reached for a knife with a cold grin on his face.

"Dean." I whispered.

"Go! Now!" He said. Sam busted down the door and we charged inside, the father charged at Dean and Sam jumped in front of me when the son charged me. I ran to the wife to untie her, before I knew what was happening something sliced my arm, I turned to see the kid with the knife behind me, I pulled my gun and turned but he jumped out the window and took off. I went back to untying the wife as Dean stepped over to help.

"You good Em?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. The dad?"

"Dead." Dean said flatly looking up to Sam. Sam helped the wife to her feet and led her out to the car.

"Dean. What the hell is going on here." I whispered as we walked back behind them.

"I don't know Em… but its not gonna end pretty." He said back lowly.

"Dean. We need to drop her off, and leave. Please." I said firmly grabbing his arm so he'd stop walking and turn to face me. He stared at me for a long minute.

"Dean. I'm serious. I'm begging you to let us leave town and let someone else in on it. We can help from the outside. We can't be here. Please. We just can't." I begged him again. Everything in me felt wrong. I felt like all the good left in a ten mile radius was quickly moving. Something bad is coming… or worse. Its already here.

"Okay." He finally said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes. Okay, we'll drop off the wife at the doctors and we'll head out of town okay?"

"Thank you De." I said as we caught back up to Sam. Dean went back to carry the husband and put him in the trunk. I rode in the back with Sam and the wife sat up front with Dean. It was a silent short ride.

"Hello? Hello? We need a doctor here!" Sam said as he walked into the clinic. A young woman in scrubs appeared and rushed towards us.

"Mrs. Tanner, what happened?" She asked taking in the wife's bloody appearance.

"She's been attacked." I answered for her.

"Doctor Lee?" The nurse called out.

"Bring her in." The doctor waved as she came around the corner and took a look at us all, including the dead guy over Dean's shoulder.

"Is that —" She asked as Dean walked by.

"Mr. Tanner?" Dean finished for her.

"Was he attacked too?"

"Uh… no, actually, he did the attacking and then he got himself shot." I answered.

"Shot?" She asked surprised.

"Yeah." Dean answered.

"And who are you?"

"U.S. Marshal. This is Emily our intern. I'd show you my badge, but uh…" Dean threw his eyes towards Mr. Tanner's body.

"Oh. Sorry. Bring him back here." The doctor said quickly as she opened the door for Dean.

We set down the body in the back room and walked back around to find Sam and the doc with Mrs. Tanner.

"Wait, you said Jake helped him? Your son Jake?" The doctor asked her shocked.

"They beat me. Tied me up." She admitted shakily.

"I don't believe it." The nurse said shortly.

"Pam." The doc warned. "Beverly . . . do you have any idea why they would act this way? Any history of chemical dependency?"

"No, of course not. I don't know why. One minute they were my husband and my son. And the next, they had the devil in them." She cried.

We all turned and looked to each other when she spoke the last few words.

"We gotta talk." Dean said nodding Sam and I back towards the lobby.

"Those guys were whacked out of their gourds." He said once we were alone.

"What do you think? Multiple demons, mass possession?" Sam asked.

"If it is a possession there could be more. I mean, God knows how many, it could be like a friggin' Shriner convention."

"Great."

"Which is why we should be going now." I pointed out, they both avoided looking straight at me.

"Dean. Come on. You said we could leave once we got the wife help." I said.

"Of course, that's one way to wipe out a town, you take it from the inside. Dean said ignoring me.

"Dean!" I said firmly.

"I don't know, man. We didn't see any of the demon smoke with Mr. Tanner, or any of the other usual signs." Sam said.

"Hello! I'm right here assholes!"

"Well, whatever. Something turned him into a monster. And you know if you woulda taken out the other one there'd be one less to worry about." Dean said turning to me.

"Are you kidding me right now?! I was a little preoccupied. Now that you're willing to look me in the eye. You said we could go! We need to leave NOW!" I urged.

Suddenly heels on the tile flooring caused us all to look up.

"How's the patient?" Sam asked.

"Terrible! What the hell happened out there?" The doc asked.

"We don't know." Dean admitted.

"Yeah? Well, you just killed my next door neighbor." She said crossing her arms angrily.

"We didn't have a choice." Dean said firmly.

"Maybe so, but we need the county Sheriff. I need the coroner…"

"Phones are down." I pointed out.

"I know, I tried. Tell me you have a police radio in the car?"

"Yeah we do. But it crapped out just like everything else." Sam told her.

"I don't understand what is happening." Me either lady, me either.

"How far is it to the next town?" Dean asked her. FINALLY!

"It's about forty miles down to Sidewinder." She said.

"All right, I'm gonna go down there, see if I can find some help. My partner will stick around, keep you guys safe." He said pointing to Sam. Wait, what?! The doc nodded and walked away.

"Dean. No! You said we could leave!" I whispered to him through clenched teeth.

"Emily I'm sorry. We can't leave these people here defenseless. You and me will ride over to the next town, I'll let you stay there and call Bobby. But someone has to stay here. They need us."

"And what you agree with all this?" I asked suddenly turning towards Sam. He looked like a dear in the headlights for a moment before taking a deep breath.

"Em come on. You know we don't run from a fight. We gotta figure out what the hell is going on here." Sam said putting one hand on each of my shoulders.

I shook my head back and forth before pulling away from him and walking out to the car, Dean followed behind me wordlessly.

Dean and I drove down the road in silence for a few minutes before he finally broke it.

"So how long are you gonna hold this one over us." He finally asked.

"I can't fucking believe you." I said turning to face him. "I told you from the moment we got here something was wrong! I've told you several times that we needed to leave! Dean you and I both know that something horrible is about to happen and you just want us stuck right in the middle of it all!"

"No, what I want is to handle the case and save lives, just like any other job!" He yelled back.

"This isn't like any other job! We can't handle this one Dean! Not alone!"

"Yeah well we're gonna have to until someone else can get out here!" He yelled back.

I huffed and turned back towards the front of the car.

"This whole case was a bad idea, you should have listened to me when I said something hours ag-"

"Emily get down." Dean said lowly cutting me off from my ramble.

"What?" I asked confused looking at him.

"I said get down! Now!" He yelled shoving me into the floorboard and reaching back for his jacket and throwing it over me.

"Dean what the hell is this?!" I asked as he next threw down more clothes on top of me.

"Just shut up." He growled as the car slowed down and finally came to a stop. Then there was a loud noise beside my open window.

"Oh-ho-ho. Hey. Scared me there." Dean answered to what I assume is the person standing on the other side of the car door.

"Sorry. Road's closed." Said the man.

"Yeah, I can see that. What's up?"

"Quarantine."

"Quarantine? What is it?"

"Don't know. Something going around out there."

"Uh-huh. Who told you that?"

"County Sheriff."

"Is he here?"

"No. He called. Say, why don't you get out of the car and we'll talk a little?" The guy offered.

"Well, you are a handsome devil, but I don't swing that way, sorry." Dean laughed, I could sense the nervousness behind it. I slowly reached for my gun, trying not to cause to much motion under the clothes.

"I'd sure appreciate it if you got out of the car, just for a quick minute." The man said a little more firmly.

"Yeah, I'll bet you would. But I uh, got to get to the show." Dean said, I immediately picked up on it. Its one of our code phrases, this one means get ready to shoot. I quietly clicked off the safety and waited for my que.

I heard the gear shifter slam backwards.

"Now!" Dean hollered and I sat up and took aim out the open window, taking down the man outside of it, we were suddenly under fire and as I leaned up to see where it was coming from Dean swung the car around sideways.

"Not yet, stay down." He said as he sped down the road.

"Okay. We're clear…" He said a few minutes later.

"How many?" I asked reloading my mag.

"A dozen or so, they've blocked the only road out of town. Sorry kiddo. I don't think any of us are going anywhere till this thing is over.

I sighed and replaced the gun back into my waistband.

"De…" I said softly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm scared." I admitted looking up to him. I usually don't get scared of much. Especially with our job. Monsters. They're killable. Ghosts, I can burn the bones. Demons, we can send em back to hell… But. Something about all this. Scares the hell out of me.

"I know kiddo… I know. Come here." He said opening his arm for me to sit against his side. I slid over and tucked myself back into my safe spot. He went to rub his hand down my shoulder but I felt a sharp pain.

"Ow, shit." I mumbled. He immediately moved his hand, we both saw the blood.

"Em are you hit?" He asked quickly.

"No. That kid back at the Tanner's cut me before he took off, I had totally forgotten about it, Its not deep or anything. I'll be fine." I said pulling up my sleeve to look at the cut placed right above my elbow.

"Let me see." Dean said, I rolled my eyes as I reached it out to show him.

"Really De. Its just a scratch, you just caught it with your hand, otherwise I probably would never have remembered."

"Yeah, just put some disinfectant on it okay?" He said reaching over to the glove box. I did as he said and put a large band aid over it to keep dirt out of it. I sat back against him as we got back into town, we were at the clinic again in minutes. This time as we drove through town I realized that there wasn't anybody out on the street… it was empty.

Until someone jumped out in front of us, rifle raised. Dean slammed on the breaks.

"Hands where I can see 'em!" The man yelled. I instantly recognized him as the man Dean and Sam spoke with earlier today.

"Okay!" Dean yelled as we both raised our hands.

"Get out of the car! Out of the car!"

"All right, easy there, big guy." Dean said before nodding to let me know to get out as well. Dean stood straight up, and quickly pulled his gun. I stood there, hands up, carefully watching them.

"All right, put it down!" Dean yelled to him.

"Lower it now!" The man yelled back.

"Put it down!" I yelled.

"Are you one of 'em?" He asked looking between Dean and I.

"No! Are you?" Dean asked.

"No!"

"You could be lying!" Dean said.

"So could you!" The man retorted.

"All right! All right. We could do this all day, all right? Let's just uh, let's take it easy before we kill each other." Dean said slowly lowering his gun. I slowly lowered my hands the man across from us slowly lowered his rifle.

"What's going on with everybody?" He asked us.

"We don't know." I said honestly.

"My neighbor… Mr. Rogers, he-"

"You've got a neighbor named Mr. Rogers?" I asked amused.

"Not anymore. He came at me with a hatchet. I put him down. He's not the only one, I mean, it's happening to everyone."

"We're heading over to the Doc's place, there's still some people left."

"No, no way. I'm getting the hell out."

"There is no way out. Trust me we tried… they've got the road blocked. Just come with us." I explained.

"I don't believe you." He said.

"Fine, stay here, be my guest." I said raising my hands and going to get back in the car.

The man grumbled and then pulled a handgun and kept it aimed at Dean while he sat in the backseat. Never lowering the gun.

"Well, this ought to be a relaxing drive." Dean mumbled. What a smartass.

Thankfully it was a short drive back to the clinic. Dean was first to the door.

"Sammy? Open up!" He yelled as he banged, Sam quickly got to the door and let us in.

"Did you guys, uh, get to a phone?" He asked taking in the man with us.

"Road block." I answered going to stand with him.

"I'm gonna have a word. Doc's inside." Dean said to Mark, the man who came with us.

"What's going on out there?" Sam asked when the man was out of view.

"Man, I don't know, I feel like Chuck Heston in the Omega Man, I mean, Sarge is the only sane person we could find. What are we dealing with, do you know?"

"Yeah. Doc thinks it's a virus."

"Okay, great. What do you think?"

"I think she's right."

"Really?" I asked him eyebrows raised.

"Yeah. And I think the infected are trying to infect others with blood-to-blood contact. Oh, but it gets better. The uh, the virus? Leaves traces of sulfur in the blood."

"A demonic virus?" I asked shocked.

"Yeah, more like demonic germ warfare. At least it explains why I've been having visions."

"It's like a Biblical plague." Dean said.

"Yeah. You don't know how right you are, Dean. I've been poring through Dad's journal, found something about the Roanoke colony."

"And?" I asked.

"Dad always had a theory about Croatoan. He thought it was a demon's name. Sometimes known as Deva or sometimes Resheph. A demon of plague and pestilence."

"Well, that, that's terrific. Why here, why now?"

"I have no idea. But who knows how far this thing can spread? We gotta get out of here, we gotta warn people."

"Gee ya think! I told you assholes that from the very beginning! Now its too late, now there is not getting out. We're stuck here Sam!" I yelled in frustration. NOW they get it. NOW they wanna leave. Shoulda listened to me in the first place…

Sam rolled his eyes and went to reply but the shouting cut him off.

"They've got one! In here!" The Sarge yelled.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked as we all came around the corner.

"The wife. She's infected." Sam admitted.

"We've gotta take care of this. We can't just leave her in there. My neighbors, they were strong. The longer we wait, the stronger she'll get." Sarge said. Dean barely hesistated before pulling his gun and walking into the lab.

"You're gonna kill Beverly Tanner?" The nurse asked horrified, following behind us.

"Doctor, could there be any treatment? Some kind of cure for this?" Sam asked her. She just stood there silently looking around.

"Can you cure it?" Dean asked loudly.

"For God's sake, I don't even know what "it" is!" She said desperately.

"I told you, it's just a matter of time before she breaks through." Sarge reiterated.

"Just leave her in there, you can't shoot her like an animal!" The nurse yelled.

"Sam." Dean said, implying for him to lead them to her. Sam sighed but walked towards a utility room, he slowly opened the door, Dean and Sarge lifted their guns, inside Mrs. Tanner is huddled on the floor and jumps at their approach.

"Mark, what are you doing? Mark, it's, it's them! They locked me in here, they, they tried to kill me! They're infected, not me! Please, Mark! You've known me all your life! Please!" She begged for Sarge to listen.

"You sure she's one of 'em?" Dean asked turning to Sam. I looked up to him. He looked torn, I reached up and grabbed his hand, he looked down at me, then back to Dean and slowly shook his head. Dean turned and fired twice. I closed my eyes and immediately turned to face Sam, hiding my face in his chest. He wrapped an arm around me. Things were silent for a moment, Dean closed the door and I could hear his heavy footsteps as he walked out. I didn't want to leave Sam's arms. I felt like he needed the hug as much as I did. I know he hated to lose anyone on the job, he always felt responsible for them.

We stayed there until we heard a scream, we ran around the corner to see the a dropped blood vial and the nurse, Pam, freaking out.

"Oh god! Is there any on me? Am I okay?"

"You're clean, you're okay." The doc assured her.

"Why are we staying here? Please, let's just go!"

"No, we can't, because those things are everywhere." Dean admitted.

"Oh god…" She whispered sinking down the side of the wall. The doctor rushed to comfort her.

"She's right about one thing. We can't stay here. We've gotta get out of here, get to the Roadhouse? Somewhere. Let people know what's coming." Sam said quietly.

"Yeah, good point. Night of the Living Dead didn't exactly end pretty." Dean agreed.

"Well, I'm not sure we've got a choice. Lots of folks up here are good with rifles — even with all your hardware we're, we're easy targets. So unless you've got some explosives…" Sarge said. I instantly got an idea looking around us at all the medical supplies.

"We could make some." I said leaving Sam's side and going to take some bottles down off the shelf.

Dean laughed and walked over.

"Nice eye kiddo, lets get this stuff going." He said reaching for the rest of the bottles.

Suddenly there was someone at the door, banging repeatedly and screaming, we all took off to the front.

"Hey! Let me in, let me in! Please!" The voice cried.

"It's Duane Tanner!" Sarge said, he opened the door and let him in, he limped in carrying in his backpack.

"Thank god." He said catching his breath.

"Duane, you okay?" Sarge asked.

"That's the guy that I, uh…" Dean whispered to Sam.

"Yeah." Sam whispered back.

"Who else is in here?" Duane asked walking past us.

"Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, easy there, chief. Hey Doc! Give Duane a good once-over, would you?" Dean said grabbing his arm and stopping him from getting too far.

"Pam? Will you help me please." Doc asked as she led us back.

"Who are you?" Duane asked eyeing Dean.

"Never mind who I am. Doc."

"Yeah, okay." She sad reaching for Duane and leading him to sit on the stool in the middle of the room.

"Duane. Where you been?" Sarge asked him.

"On a fishing trip up by Roslyn. I came back this afternoon. I . . . I saw Roger McGill being dragged out of his house by people we know! They started cutting him with knives! I ran, I've been hiding in the woods ever since. Has anybody seen my mom and dad?"

"Awkward…." I mumbled looking down at my feet.

"You're bleeding." The doc says looking down at Duane's leg.

"Where'd you get that?" Dean asked him.

"I was running, I must have tripped."

"Tie him up, there's rope in there." Dean demanded.

"Wait.." Duane said confused standing up.

"Sit down!" Dean yelled pulling out his gun.

"I'm sorry, Duane, he's right. We've gotta be careful." Sarge said, Sam kept a close arm around me, holding us back from the chaos.

"Careful? About what?" Duane asked.

"Did they bleed on you?" Dean asked him. I don't know why it didn't register with me when Sam first told us about the virus, but all of a sudden I remembered the cut on my arm… the knife… it was the same knife he used to cut Mrs. Tanner… did it have his blood on it?

"No, what the hell? No!"

"Doc? Any way to know for sure, any test?" Sam asked. Please… let there be a way. I could feel my heart began to race.

"I've studied Beverly's bloodwork backwards and forwards." She answered.

"My mom!" Duane suddenly yelled.

"It took three hours for the virus to incubate. The sulfur didn't appear in the blood until then, so… no, there'd be no way of knowing. Not until after Duane turns." She admitted hesitantly. Oh god…

"Dean, I gotta talk to you. Now." Sam said, pushing me towards the door, motioning for Dean to follow… I guess I need to talk too. Shit.

"Sit in that chair." Sarge said to Duane as we walked out.

"This is my vision, Dean. It's happening." Sam said as soon as we were alone.

"Yeah, I figured."

"You can't kill him, all right? Not yet. We don't know if he's infected or not."

"Well, I think we're pretty damn sure. Guy shows up out of nowhere, he's got a cut on his leg, his whole family's infected?"

"Dean…" I said quietly.

"All right, then we should keep him tied up, and we should wait and see." Sam said over me.

"Dean." I said a little louder trying to get his attention.

"For what? For him to Hulk out and infect somebody else? No thanks, can't take that chance." Dean said moving to push past Sam, but Sam stops him.

"Hey look, man, I'm not happy about this, okay? But it's a tough job and you know that." Dean said.

"It's supposed to be tough, Dean. We're supposed to struggle with this, that's the whole point."

"Dean." I said a little louder again.

"What does that buy us?"

"A clear conscience, for one!"

"Well, it's too late for that." They continued to argue.

"Dean!" He glanced at me but then Sam opened his mouth again.

"What the hell's happened to you?" Sam asked him.

"What?"

"You might kill an innocent man, and you don't even care! You don't act like yourself anymore, Dean. Hell, you know what? You're acting like one of those things out there."

"Mm-hmm." Dean said annoyed and pushes past Sam again, Sam tries to stop him but he turns and hurls Sam backwards, then charges out the door and locks us in the room.

"Dean! Dammit!" I said banging on the door.

"Hey! Open the damn door, Dean! Don't do it, Dean! Don't!" Sam yelled rattling the door knob.

I sank down to the floor… 3 hours… its been 2 hours since the Tanner's place. What if I turn, stuck in here with Sam… I have to tell him, warn him.

"Sammy…" I mumbled from the floor.

"Em, come on, help me here." He said trying to find something to pick the lock with.

"Sam." I said a little firmer.

"What?" He turned around and asked, finally realizing I was in the floor, tears threatening to fall.

"Emily what's wrong?" He asked sinking to sit down next to me.

"Sammy… I- I need to show you something." I said quietly rolling up my sleeve. I pulled off the band-aid and revealed the cut from earlier.

"Emily when did this happen?" Sam asked slowly realizing what I was trying to tell him.

"Umm.. at the Tanners. Jake cut me when I was untying his mom…" I mumbled.

"Did he bleed on you?" He asked lifting my face to look at him.

"I don't know… Sammy I'm scared." I admitted.

"Oh Em…" He sighed, pulling me in close to him.

"Sammy you gotta tie me up… its been 2 hours I could turn anytime now." I said softly as my voice cracked.

"No no no… sweetie you're not gonna turn. It'll be okay. It's okay." He cooed.

"Sammy. He coulda bled on me. We don't know." I reminded him.

"Does Dean know?"

"He knows I got cut, but it was before we got back to you… I don't think it registered with him either, I didn't think about it till Duane came in with a cut. I was trying to tell you both before you started arguing."

"I'm sorry kiddo…"

"Me too Sammy… me too. I don't wanna hurt you, or anyone… please. Just tie me up, don't let me hurt you." I begged him, feeling the lump in my throat grow.

"Emily no, it's gonna be fine." He assured me, rubbing his hand across my back.

"Sam. I didn't hear gunshots." I said after a few minutes. He looked slightly relieved.

It wasn't long until we heard footsteps coming towards us, Dean came bursting through the door and slammed it shut behind him. He put the gun down on the table in the center of the room and ran his hand through his hair, facing away from us.

"Alright, we wait… if he turns though, Sam I've got no other choice." He said still not facing us.

"Okay… But um. Dean. We might have another problem on our hands." Sam said quietly. Dean finally turned around. I caught his eyes, he looked at me, then Sam, then down at the cut my rolled up sleeve showed.

"Oh no…" He said catching on without needing an explanation.

"Em… did he bleed on you?" Dean asked, fear wide in his eyes. It made me feel even more like I was doomed.

"I don't know…" I said softly. Dean crossed the room and reached down and took my hand, pulling me to stand in front of him.

"Listen to me right now. Its been almost 3 hours… you haven't turned and you haven't shown any signs you're going to… we just sit tight. We wait. Okay?" He said looking me right in the eye.

"De you gotta tie me up, get me away from everyone, I don't wanna hurt you or Sammy." I said feeling tears threatening to fall again.

"No baby we don't, its fine. You're gonna be fine okay." He said trying to put on a fake smile. I nodded my head unconvincingly. Dean rolled my sleeve back down so no one else would see.

"This stays between us. Okay?" He said looking between Sam and I, we all nodded before following him back out to meet with the others.

We've spent the last few hours working on getting explosives made.

"Its been over four hours. Duane's blood is still clean. I don't think he's infected. I'd like to untie him, if that's all right." The doc said turning to Dean, we all looked between each other, sharing a relieved smile. Dean nods to Sam.

"Sure. Yeah." Sam said, the doc left the room to get Duane.

"You know I'm gonna ask you why." Sam said turning to Dean.

"Yeah, I know."

"So why? Why didn't you do it?"

"We need more alcohol." Dean said to distract Sam. Sam and I shared a look and shook our heads, Sam left to go get some.

Suddenly there's a loud commotion, we all run to the sound, it's the closet, Sam is in it with Pam.

"Sam! Sammy!" I yelled banging on the door.

"Em get back!" Dean yelled before kicking the door open, Pam is on top of Sam and Dean puts 3 rounds into her chest. I immediately go down and help Sam to his feet, then I noticed the large cut on his chest.

"She bled on him. He's got the virus." Sarge said.

"No.. No no no she didn't. He's fine." I quickly said panicking. But I knew deep down it was true. I got lucky, my cut was clean. Theres no chance Sam got as lucky as I did.

I looked up to Dean, he looked even more panicked then he did earlier. There was only a chance I was bled on, we know for sure Sam was.

I walked Sam over to sit on the stool and pressed some gauze to his chest. He looks devastated. I can barely tear my eyes away from his face. I was bound and determined not to leave his side. I know what everyone in here is thinking. Everyone but me and Dean. To everyone else he is collateral damage. To me he's my heart. He's the good that comes out in me when the world seems to dark. Sam was always the kind one. Sam was always the one who's smile made me smile back. I'll kill the first person to take even one step towards him, that is if they could ever get past Dean. He's been pacing back and forth angrily. He's on the defense, he's trying to think of a fast plan. He's trying to find us a way out of this one.

"Doc, check his wound again, would you?" Dean said. The doctor however was frozen in fear. Dean was menacing to even look at.

"Doctor!" He yelled, she flinched and moved towards Sam and I. I carefully moved the gauze for her to look. I didn't dare let her touch him though. No one is touching him. No one's hurting him. Ever.

"What's she need to examine him for? You saw what happened." Sarge insisted.

"Did her blood actually enter your wound?" The doctor asked calmly.

"Come on, of course it did!" Sarge yelled.

"We don't know that for sure." I insisted, glaring down the Sarge.

"We can't take a chance." Duane insisted.

"You know what we have to do." Sarge repeated again.

"Nobody is shooting my brother." I said firmly.

"He isn't gonna be your brother much longer." Duane said.

"Nobody is shooting anyone!" Dean yelled.

"You were gonna shoot me!" Duane yelled back.

"You don't shut your pie-hole, I still might!" Dean yelled back.

"Dean, they're right. I'm infected; just give me the gun and I'll do it myself." Sam said sadly.

"No. No way in hell. Forget it." I said immediately.

"Emily, I'm not gonna become one of those things." Sam said to me. His eyes bored into mine. There were tears buried, waiting to fall. It tore everything inside me apart to see him so hopeless.

"Sam, we've still got some time." I said almost choking on the words.

"Time for what? Look, I understand he's your brother, and I'm sorry, I am. But we gotta take care of this." Sarge said as he pulled out a gun. I instinctively stood directly in front of Sam. Glaring down the man who has now made himself a threat.

"I'm gonna say this one time — you make a move on him, you'll be dead before you hit the ground. You understand me? I mean, do I make myself clear?!" Dean spat the words as if they were laced with venom. He had his gun leaned against Sarge's temple.

"Then what are we supposed to do?!" He asked.

"Get the hell out of here, that's what. Take my car. You've got the explosives, there's an arsenal in there. You two go with him. You've got enough firepower to handle anything now."

"What about you two?" Sarge asked looking between Dean and I.

"I'm not leaving my brother." I said. Dean nodded and took a few steps backwards to stand next to Sam and I.

"Dean, no. No. You and Em have to go with them. This is your only chance!"

"You're not gonna get rid of me that easy. But Emily… you need to go with them. Call Bobby."

"No. No way in hell… I'm not leaving Dean."

"Emily please… I can't be the reason you die." Sam pleaded with me.

"Sam. You and Dean are all I have. You and Dean are my world. If I lose the two of you, then I have no life left to live. We're family. We stand together, we fight together, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna walk away now." I said, a tear falling down not only my face, but Sam's. I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

"Kid your young, I can get you to someone you know. I promise. Come with us." Sarge urged me. I turned to face him.

"These are the only two people in the world that matter. I'm staying. But thank you."

"Okay, it's your funeral." He said before looking up to Dean, I turned back to Sam. Not wanting to listen to him anymore.

"I'm sorry. Thanks for everything, Marshals." The doctor turned back and said before walking outside.

"Oh, actually we're not really Marshals." Dean admitted.

"Um. Oh." She said awkwardly before walking out. Smooth Dean. Real smooth.

We watched as they all walked out. I turned to look at Sam. Now that we are alone he let the tears fall freely. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned to kiss the top of his head, from where I stand and he sits, I'm actually slightly taller than him.

"Wish we had a deck of cards, or a foosball table or something." Dean joked.

"Dean, don't do this. Just take Em and get the hell out of here." He begged.

"No way." Dean said sitting down.

"Give me my gun, and leave." Sam said.

"For the last time, Sam. No." He stared at Sam for a minute, then glanced up to me, then back down to Sam. As if talking without actually speaking. I hate that shit.

"Emily, can I talk to you for a minute." Dean said standing.

"Yeah, I guess." I said confused, I squeezed Sam and walked towards where Dean was standing on the other end of the room by the window, peeking out through the blinds.

"What?" I said walking up to him.

"Emily. I love you, no matter what happens. Sam and I are both so proud of you… you are everything to us." He hesitated, then wrapped me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around him, still confused as to what he's doing. Dean's not one for sappy goodbyes, even if we are all fixing to die.

"…Which is why I can't let you do this…" He whispered before opening the door and shoving me outside into the Sarge's arms.

"What?! No! NO! Dean! NO!" I screamed as the Sarge pulled me away and Dean shut and locked the door.

"No! Dean! Dammit! Don't do this!" I screamed fighting against the arms around me as they dragged me towards the car. The sarge slams me against the car and zip ties my wrists together behind my back before pushing me into the backseat.

"No! Please.. please don't do this… Just leave me here! Please!" I begged them.

"I'm sorry kid. I promised your brother I'd get you out of here, supposed to call some guy named Bobby and leave you with the keys once he gets to us." Sarge explained.

"No please you don't understand.. we have to go back! Please! They're all I have left!" I cried. But as we drove down the road I was ignored. I struggled kicking against the door but the doctor pulled me closer to her away from where I could reach the door. I finally realized I wasn't getting out, not until we got to the next town. I sat. staring at the seat in front of me. Contemplating my plan. When we reach the next town I'll be untied… I'll play nice, get free, and haul ass back. I've got a gun, I can get the keys. It won't be three hours. Dean and Sam will still be alive. I can get back.

"I don't understand…" The doctor mumbled. I hadn't been paying attention to our surroundings, but when she spoke up I began to look around.

"Where are they?" Duane asked.

"I don't know… they're just… gone. All of them." Sarge answered.

"Maybe we should go back… let them know, that… whatever this is, it appears to be over?" The doc suggested.

I sat in silence, hoping that they would turn the car around. It was slowly sinking in that maybe this was over, if they're gone. If it's done. Sam will be okay. They'll be alive, and whether we go back now or I go back in a couple of hours. they're gonna be there.

"Can you untie me please." I said softly. The doc reached back and cut the zip ties. I placed my hand in my laps and sat quietly as we turned back towards the clinic.

Relief washed over me. Knowing that this was over. We would be okay.

The other thing that washed over me was rage. Now that I know we're all going to be able to walk away from this situation I'm pissed. How dare they. How dare they agree to leave me. How dare they leave me to face this world alone.

It wasn't long when we pulled back up in front of the clinic. I watched as they all climbed out, the doc knocked on the door.

I assume it was Dean who opened it, I didn't dare turn to look at him.

"You'd better come see this." The doc said.

Dean walked outside.

"Where are they?" Dean asked.

"Good question." Said sarge.

"I think we should all go back inside." The doctor said. I quietly opened the door and got out of the impala, I followed everyone inside, not meeting eyes with anyone. Instead I walked past them all to sit in the corner, alone.

"There's no one. Not anywhere. They've all just… vanished." Sarge explained to Dean.

We all sat around for the next few hours, waiting out the night, we agreed to all leave out in the morning if Sam is clear. Dean and Sam have both approached me to talk, but after a few minutes of the silent treatment, they both walked away.

"Well, it's been five hours and your blood's still clean. i don't understand it but I think you dodged a bullet." The Doc said turning to Sam.

"But I was exposed. How could I not be infected?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. But you're just not. I mean, you compare it with the Tanner samples … wait, what the hell?"

"What?"

"Their blood. There's no trace of the virus. No sulfur, nothing."

"How is that possible, we all saw it." Dean asked.

"I don't know…" The doctor said.

A few hours later we were all packed up and getting ready to split and head our different ways. I quickly made my way to the impala and stood there waiting for my brothers to be ready to leave.

"Hey man, don't look at me. I got no clue." Sam mumbled as they walked up closer to the car.

"I swear, I'm gonna lose sleep over this one. I mean, why here, why now? And where the hell did everybody go? It's like they just friggin' melted." Dean said.

"Why was I immune? Or even more interesting… what if Em and I both were immune? Maybe she was bled on."

"Yeah. You know what? That's a good question. You know, I'm already starting to feel like this is the one that got away?" Dean said as they approached the car, I turned to get in the backseat.

"Emily wait." Dean said, but I continued to get in, an arm reached for me but I quickly yanked away form it.

"Emily. Get out of the car. We need to discuss this, and we aren't leaving until we do."

I sat there.

"Em come on… we know you're pissed. Just. Say something… anything." Sam said.

Oh you want me to say something? You wanna talk about this? About how you both agreed to die and leave me here, alone. For some reason I found it amusing and chuckled to myself, now they wanna talk? Really?

I finally turned to look at them.

"You wanna talk?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yes. Please." Dean said. I nodded and got out of the car, closing the door behind me.

I walked towards Dean and when I knew I was close enough I balled my fist and swung, hitting his jaw, then again. And again, hitting him anywhere I could get to before Sam charged me and pinned my arms behind me.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!" I screamed, eyes glued to Dean. I watched as the blood dripped off his lip. Instead of guilt I felt satisfaction. I wanted to hurt him, hell if he wasn't family I would have killed him.

"Emily. We couldn't just let you die." He said calmly.

"Oh and I'm supposed to walk away and let you two die?! I'm just as much a part of this fucking family as the two of you! If I had to leave then you should have had to leave, if you get to stay then I get to stay! FAMILY STICKS TOGETHER DEAN!" I yelled.

"Emily I'm sor-"

"No. You're not. Neither of you are… What you think its okay for you two to just decide to vote me out? I don't get to be a part of this family anymore? I don't get to make decisions? I don't get to stay and fight… fuck you. Fuck you both."

I ripped from Sam's grip and sat in the backseat, slamming the door behind me.

We drove for hours. I haven't looked at the boys once since we left. I haven't spoken. I rode with my headphones in for a while, then I laid down and pretended to be asleep, hoping by some chance I'd actually get some.

I had dozed on and off, but something in the boy's converstation caught my attention.

"So. Last night. You want to tell me what the hell you were talking about?" Sam asked. I assume it was a discussion they had after kicking me out.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked him.

"What do I mean? I mean you said you were tired of the job. And that it wasn't just because of Dad."

"Forget it." Dean groaned.

"No, I can't. No way."

"Come on man, I thought we were both going to die, you can't hold that over me."

"No, no, no, no. You can't pull that crap with me, man. You're talking."

"And what if I don't…"

"You can do it now while she's asleep… or I can wait till she's over this thing and fill her in and let her bug the shit out of you about it."

"I don't know, man. I just think maybe we ought to… go to the Grand Canyon." Seriously? The Grand Canyon… what the hell did I miss?

"What?"

"Yeah, you know, all this driving back and forth across country, you know I've never been to the Grand Canyon? Or we could go to T.J. Or Hollywood, see if we can bang Lindsey Lohan." Ew. I mean I know he has a thing for red heads but seriously? Have some better taste.

"You're not making any sense." Sam said. I agree.

"I just think we should take a break from all this. Why do we gotta get stuck with all the responsibility, you know? Why can't we live life a little bit?"

It was weird hearing Dean say all of this… Its so different from everything he stands for. He's always been about the job. He sometimes would take me to see things, give us a day off when he knew I needed it… but Dean, he was always just waiting for the next case to come up.

"Why are you saying all this?" Sam asked him.

I couldn't see Dean shaking his head but I assume that's what happened.

"No, no, no, no, Dean. You're my brother, all right? So whatever weight you're carrying, let me help a little bit."

"I can't. I promised." Promised who?

"Who?"

"Dad."

I felt like my heartbeat was now pounding in my ears.

"What are you talking about?"

"… Is she asleep?"

"Yes. Dean what the hell?" Sam asked as I felt Dean pull the car over to the side of the road and step out. Sam followed. Luckily I had the back windows cracked.

"Right before Dad died, he told me something." Dean said. There was a long pause.

"He told me something about you and Em…" Dean admitted, sounding torn. What the hell… I felt like I couldn't breathe, as if I was worried the sound would take away from me hearing the next words out of his mouth. I felt like my life depended on them.

"What? Dean, what did he tell you?"


	31. Chapter 31

Author's note: Thanks for all the love guys! Theres going to be more info in this chapter about Emily and what lies ahead for her and her brothers! Please R&R! Love yall! PS: I didn't do a full proofread before posting cause well.. its 3 am and I just really wanted to get this out to everyone tonight. I'll proofread in the morning and only fix it if I find something major. Don't forget to review!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"What? Dean, what did he tell you?" Sam asked nervously.

I felt like everything around us was silent. Like the world put itself on pause so it could hear the words that were going to fall out of Dean's mouth next. At the very least my world was on pause.

"He said that he wanted me to watch out for the two of you, make sure I took care of you and Em."

"He told you that a million times." Sam said, and he was right. Dad has been telling Dean that his whole life… something else. He's hiding something, he's been hiding something. Since the day dad died.

"No, this time was different. He said that I had to save you…"

"Save me? From what?" Sam asked him.

"He just said that I had to save you, that nothing else mattered; and that if I couldn't, I'd…" He stopped as his voice started to shake.

"You'd what, Dean?" Sam pushed for him to go on. I could literally hear the fear behind his words.

"That I'd have to kill you. He said that I might have to kill you, Sammy… and that if I do, then It would be Emily's turn, and that I'd have to kill her before she starts, because once she does I can't stop her." Dean's voice cracked as he talked. As if he'd been holding it on the tip of his tongue this whole time, as if he'd been dying to let it all out.

My whole body fell numb.

Kill me? Kill Sammy? What the hell are we… are we monsters? Are we evil? Every possibility flew through my mind in a matter of seconds.

"Kill me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sam asked after a long moment of silence.

"I don't know."

"I mean, he must have had some kind of reason for saying it, right? Did he know the demon's plans for me? For Em? Are we supposed to go darkside or something? What else did he say, Dean?" Sam asked frantically.

"Nothing, that's it, I swear." Dean sounded heartbroken. I couldn't lay here any longer, I couldn't just sit on the sidelines of this conversation. I deserved to know. Even now he was going to keep this from me. He was going to tell Sam, but not me. He was going to die with Sam, but not me. Everything in me that felt numb, felt pain, felt fear, all turned into anger. I jumped up and threw the door open, getting out and walking to stand between my brothers.

Dean looked like a deer in the headlights when he saw my face, he knew I heard it. All of it.

"How could you not have told me this?" I asked viciously.

"Because it was Dad, and he begged me not to." Dean said with a glaze forming over his dark green eyes.

"But its okay for Sam to know?" I said, then I turned to Sam, he wouldn't even look at me.

"Emily please… I couldn't tell you. I just-"

"You just what Dean?! Decided that Sam deserved to know and I didn't. You just followed orders like always?"

"Emily it was dad! He begged me! It was practically his dying wish!" Dean said desperately.

"Who cares?! Take some responsibility for yourself, Dean! You had no right to keep this from me!" I yelled.

"You think I wanted this? Huh? I wish to God he'd never opened his mouth. Then I wouldn't have to walk around with this screaming in my head all day." Dean said suddenly sounding angry himself. But not at me, at dad.

"We've just got to figure out what's going on, then, what the hell all this means." Sam said quietly, but I could tell he was angry as well, he was devastated.

"We do? I've been thinking about this, I think we should just lay low. You know? At least for a while. It'd be safer. And that way I can make sure-" Dean started but was quickly cut off.

"What? That I don't turn evil? That I don't turn into some kind of killer?" Sam suddenly interjected.

"I never said that." Dean said firmly.

"Jeez, if you're not careful you will have to waste me one day, Dean, and then do the same to Emily!" Sam yelled.

The thought of Dean killing me sent splinters down my spine. Everything about it felt and sounded so wrong, so against everything I've ever known. Could the man who protected me, raised me, turn around and kill me? Suddenly I just wanted to get away… away from Dean. Away from Sam. Away from everything.

"I never said that! Damnit, Sam, this whole thing is spinning out of control. All right? You two are immune to some weirdo demon virus, and I don't even know what the hell anymore. And you're both pissed at me, I get it. That's fine, I deserve it. But can we lay low until we figure out our next move, please? I'm begging here." Dean pleaded.

"Forget it." Sam said angrily.

I shook my head and started to walk away… I couldn't stand here. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't face him really… for the first time in my life I was truly afraid of him. This Dean. This desperate person.. He wanted to die last night… he was going to leave me. He's kept this secret from me for months. Is this why he couldn't face me after daddy died? Because he knew one day he'd have to kill me?

"Sam, please, man. Hey, please. Just give me some time. Give me some time to think, okay? I'm begging you here, please. Please." Dean begged with red brimmed eyes. I stopped and turned to look at them. Sam nodded his head and got in the car, then Dean looked at me. I watched as a single tear fell down his cheek.

"How could you?" I whispered. I went to turn and leave.

"Emily wait, please babygirl… just listen to me." He said taking a few steps forward. I turned and looked back to him.

"You know daddy said those same words to me… then he went to talk to you. Then he died." I looked down and laughed slightly, because it was either do that or cry.

"Emily… I'm so sorry."

"Yeah. He said that too." This time I couldn't stop the sting in my eyes.

I turned away from him and got in the backseat of the car. Dean stood there for a minute before he got in and started the car.

"Can we just stop at the next motel and sleep this whole day off. Please." Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam said. I slightly nodded, my eyes fixed on whatever was directly in front of me.

When we did get to the motel I offered to get out and get the rooms while they unpacked the car, I walked up to the man at the counter.

"Two rooms please, side by side, one double, one queen."

"Cash or credit."

"Credit." I said handing him my fake card and ID.

I got the room keys and walked back out to where they boys were parked.

"Here. I said handing them their key and walking to the trunk to get my bag. They started to walk towards their door, but I kept going one further and put the key in the lock.

"Wait, I thought this was our room?" Sam asked.

"It is your room." I said not looking up and opening my door.

"Emily don't d-" Dean started but I cut him off by walking in and slamming my door.

When the door closed and I was finally alone. Really alone. I felt it all hit me at once. I leaned back against the door and slid down to the floor. Feeling myself fall apart by the second. I laid there and just let it overtake me. I needed to let it out. Everything.

Over the sounds of my sobs I heard knocking… I knew who it was without standing up and looking through the peep hole. Instead I sat up and leaned my back against the door, trying to regain my composure.

Knocking again.

"Kiddo please open the door." Dean said. "I'm sorry Emily. I don't know what else to say other than I'm sorry. For all of it... umm. I guess I'll leave our door unlocked. Just. Come in if you need anything, okay?" He stood there silently.

"Yeah. Okay." He mumbled before I heard footsteps walking away from the door.

I went and ran the bath. I never get to take an actual bath. Its always showers, when theres 3 people and one bathroom you're kinda in a hurry.

I filled the tub with water so hot you almost can't stand to be in it. I sank down, leaving only the tops of my knees and my head above the water. I leaned back and closed my eyes. Adjusting to the quiet. To being alone.

When I got ready for bed I caught myself trying to remember who's turn it was to share the bed, and then I remembered. I have my own. I looked over to the empty bed, I went and grabbed the extra throw pillows off the couch in the room and threw them on the bed, then I pulled back the cover and positioned them so that they took up one side and I took up the other.

I grabbed my gun and slid it under my pillow, then I laid down and closed my eyes. Sleep came quickly.

*Dream*

"Emily…" she whispered. I flipped my head around to where I thought the noise came from.

"Emily." She said again.

"Hello? Who's there?" I asked, faking my confidence.

"Do you remember the last time I had you all to myself? All alone?" She asked from behind me.

No. Please no.

"You're not real. You're dead." I said trembling.

"Oh I'll never be dead… I'll live forever. In here. With you." She laughed.

"No… No leave me alone!" I screamed, then I took off at full speed. Its pitch black. I don't know where I'm running, but its gotta be away from her.

When I look behind me I can see the red… all the blood. I began to run faster, and faster. Then I stopped. Waiting to hear if she was still there.

"Did you really think you'd ever get away from me?" She whispered inches from my ear.

"No.. please no. You can't be real." I begged. All of a sudden the ground beneath me disappeared and I was falling, and I fell until I hit something solid.

When I jumped up I realized I was still in bed. I Immediately sat up pulling my gun, waving it around the room. Looking for any sign of her. Of anyone. But yet again, I was truly alone.

Suddenly the thought of being alone terrified me. I no longer felt the need to have space from anyone, especially my brothers. I went to climb out of the bed and realized I was still trembling, the gun shook in my hand. I took a deep breath and tucked it into my waistband before walking towards the door. I left my stuff and just made sure to grab my room key, locking the door behind me. I stood in front of their door. Wondering if it was really unlocked. Part of me was scared to check, but I gather what little courage I felt I had at the moment and slowly turned the knob, the door opened, and laying in the bed closest to it was a sleeping Dean. I was careful to slip in and shut the door as quietly as possible, then I laid my gun and my room key on the table next to his bed.

I looked over and realized he too only slept on half the bed. Habit I guess.

I stared at him. Realizing for the first time that I truly was dependent on him. I need him. My life doesn't function without him. What have I done? I've relied so heavily on him, his presence, his protection… that I don't know how to live without it. It was an unhealthy relationship in the eyes of any normal person. But we aren't normal. We don't live a normal life. Our life is danger and death on a daily basis. Relying on him is the only way I've survived, how could I think I could stop now?

I slowly slipped into the bed, realizing he pulled the sheet out from under him, just incase I came back. I half grinned. As I laid down to get adjusted he began to stir awake.

Green eyes met my brown ones.

"Hey." He whispered. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head from side to side briefly, afraid that opening my mouth to answer him would open the flood gates again.

"Em, talk to me."

"Dean I-I…" was all I got out before the gates opened and I was overtaken again by the flood of emotion. He wasted no time pulling me into his arms and squeezing me against him.

"Shhh. Its okay." Dean whispered to me as I tried to get the words out… any word, but its like my mouth physically couldn't form them. I had to let this all out before I could explain.

"De what's wrong with me." I finally managed to choke out.

"Nothing sweetheart, you're fine." Dean cooed.

"Then why-why-y did daddy want you to ki-ki-kill me?" I asked trying to catch my breath in between words. When I finished my question Dean pulled us apart and laid his head down next to mine, so that we could see each other face to face.

"Emily Anne you listen to these words… Dad never wanted me to kill you. He never wanted you hurt babygirl. Ever. I don't know what this thing with you Sammy and the demon is but Dad would never have wanted anyone to touch a hair on your head."

"But he said-"

"I know what he said. He never should have said that… you don't lay that shit on your children. Emily I will never hurt you, I will do whatever it takes to save Sammy AND you. Nothing is going to happen to either of you okay?"

"De… what if I'm a bad-d person, what if I'm evil? I-I don't wanna hurt anyone."

"Emily. There's nothing in you that could be bad. Wanna know how I know?"

I shook my head up and down.

"Because I raised you. Because I taught you good and bad, wright from wrong. I know you inside and out kiddo and there is nothing in there that could hurt a fly. You're my little girl, you always have been and you always will be. I will never hurt you, it will never come down to anyone hurting you. I'll never stop fighting till you and Sammy are safe. Ever."

I took a deep breath for the first time in what felt like days and nodded my head slowly. He wrapped an arm around me.

"So does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?" He asked.

"No. It doesn't Dean." I said honestly.

"Kiddo… I don't know what else to say besides I'm sorry." Dean said exasperated.

"Dean. I don't hardly know who you are anymore… you've kept this from me for weeks. You never lie to me like that. Then you pulled that shit in Oregon. I mean what the hell actually went through your head when you made the decision to die and leave me here alone?" I asked feeling the anger creep itself back into my mind.

"Emily I thought I lost him… I thought I fucked up and that I was gonna lose Sammy. I couldn't… I couldn't let him die in there alone. Honestly I didn't know if I was gonna die there or make it out alive and come back to you. But I couldn't just leave him."

"And you thought I could?! Dean I am just as much a member of this family as the two of you are."

"I know th-"

"No obviously you don't! Or you wouldn't have done that to me! I mean how could you… honestly put yourself in my shoes and tell me you wouldn't be livid right now too?"

"Okay… You're right. I promise. It won't happen again."

"…What happened to no more lies? When you found out about the tattoo you made me swear no more lies. I've stuck to that. How could you say that to me when you were keeping all this shit with dad to yourself?"

"Emily. I have to know what's going on with you to keep you safe, I can't have you lying to me about things or otherwise I can't always protect you. That wasn't something I wanted to put on your shoulders. I mean look at yourself. You're in pieces over it. You and Sammy both are. I didn't want to do that to you the way dad did it to me."

"But Dean that's information we could have used to figure all this shit out… and you shouldn't have had to carry it alone. I get that you're the oldest around here and you think to get to make all the decisions but you don't have to carry that around by yourself. Let us help you. Sammy and I both just need some time to take it in… I mean you were a mess when you heard it too. I'm sure that's part of the reason you wouldn't look me in the eyes for days."

"Kiddo… You don't know how sorry I am for-"

"No. Stop." I said cutting him off abruptly.

"No more apologies. You've been saying I'm sorry an awful lot lately Dean. I just want you to tell me the truth, treat me like I get a say in what happens too. Please, no more sorry's. Just… tell me shit from now on."

"Okay. Deal." He said with a half grin.

"I don't know why you're smiling. I'm still pissed at you." I said seriously.

"Because you're kinda cute when you get all huffed up like that." He said laughing.

"Dean! No. I'm not cute. I'm pissed off! Its not funny!" This only made him laugh more.

"Fine!" I said punching him in the gut, again, only making him laugh more. "I'll go sleep with Sammy." I said getting out of bed, but when I looked over I noticed his bed was empty.

"De where'd he go?" I asked.

"Huh?" Dean asked confused.

"Sammy. Where'd he go?" I said again.

Dean suddenly turned around and realized Sam was gone.

"I didn't even know he left." Dean said getting up and looking around.

"Do you think he just needed some air or something?" I asked while I watched Dean dig through their stuff.

"Dammit… All of his stuff is gone."

"Dean what are you saying…" I asked carefully.

"I'm saying he's gone Em! He left! Dammit!" Dean said throwing his bag across the room.

"No.. no he wouldn't do that, I'm gonna go get my phone and call him." I said walking out the door and grabbing my gun and my room key again.

I got to my phone and dialed Sam. No answer.

Then again, and again. I grabbed my bags and met Dean at the impala.

"Where would he have gone?" I asked.

"I don't know Em, there was a bus station not far from us so who knows where it goes." Dean mumbled.

My heart sank at the thought that Sam left us again. I know he's upset. Trust me. I know. But running off isn't going to fix anything. He's vulnerable to yellow eyes when he's out there alone.

Dean's phone ringing cut off my thoughts. I reached over and grabbed it, putting it on speaker for him.

"Hello?" He answered.

"It's Ellen."

"Hey, have you heard from Sam?"

"I have, but he made me promise not to tell you where he is." Dean and I looked to each other.

"Come on, Ellen, please. Something bad could be going on here, and I swore I'd look after that kid." Dean said desperately.

"Now Dean, they say you can't protect your loved ones forever." Ellen paused. "Well, I say screw that. What else is family for? He's in Lafayette, Indiana."

"Thanks Ellen." Dean said as he swung the car around and punched it, hanging up the phone.

"Why would he go to Indiana?" I asked confused.

"I don't know. Maybe he caught wind of something up there he thinks could be related to all this. He's scared Em. He's not thinking clearly."

"Dean… do you think what's happening to Sam could happen to me?"

"I don't know kiddo. I really don't."

"Daddy told me something… before he went to talk to you and Sammy." Dean turned and looked at me surprised.

"Well?" He asked.

"He said he hoped it never came down to me." I whispered.

"Well that doesn't give us much now does it?" Dean mumbled.

"No. I wish he would have just told me… so I'd know what the hell to expect. What to do. What to avoid."

"Em the man never told anyone anything. He probably thought he was protecting us. Keeping us as safe as possible by keeping us away from it."

"But now he's gone, and he didn't bother to share anything except for the fact that you might need to off me and Sam."

"Em. Don't… don't say that."

"Well the truth sucks sometimes Dean."

"Emily for the last time, I'm not gonna waste you OR Sam. Period. Ever. It will never come to that."

"I hope so." I whispered. The rest of our ride was pretty much silent.

It was daylight again when I woke up, curled in an awkward position against the window. I leaned my head side to side to crack the stiffness in my neck.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"Just crossing into Lafayette… you know the drill. Find the first hotel in the phone book."

We stopped at a gas station to freshen up for a second and I checked for the first hotel in the book, wasn't far from here thankfully. It wasn't long before we were pulling into the parking lot. Dean parked and picked pointed to a window that's blinds were pulled back on the second floor.

"Sam!" I said relieved.

"Thank God he's okay…" Dean said.

Then we realized he wasn't alone, he was with a woman, a pretty woman too.

"Umm.. Dean."

"Oh… he's better than okay. Sam you sly dog!" Dean said grinning.

"Okay that's gross… I don't wanna sit here and watch my brother get it on so can we just leave and come back or something?" I asked cringing.

Before Dean could respond we watched a bullet fly through the window.

"Dean! Go!" I yelled and we jumped out running for Sam, I don't know what told me to do it, but something said to turn around, and when I did I spotted him. Gordon. On the roof of the building next to this one.

"Dean the roof! Look!" I said pointing up where he had a gun leaned over the edge of the roof. We took off in the other direction. Running up the steps but quieting when we neared the top. Dean carefully opened the door and I slowly closed it behind us. When we got close Dean stopped me and nodded at the wall telling me to hide, be ready. Then he walked closer to Gordon.

"Gordon!" Dean yelled, catching him off guard and kicking him to the ground when he turned. Dean punched him again, and again.

"You do that to my brother, I'll kill you!" He growled.

"Dean, wait." Gordon begged, Dean hesitated for only a second, but that was all it took for Dean to grab the rifle and slam it into Dean's face, knocking him out cold. Shit!

I took a deep breath and turned towards Gordon. He bent down to pick up the gun.

"Touch it and your dead." I said. He paused and stood up straight before turning to look at me. He grinned sickeningly and spit blood from his mouth.

"Well. Look what the cat dragged in. Sweet little Emily." He said walking towards me.

"One more step and I'll put a bullet in you." I warned steadying the gun again.

"Oh come on now… you and I both know you're not a murderer." Before I knew what happened He was throwing something in my face, it stung my eyes and I was momentarily blinded… but that's all it took for him to approach me and knock me out cold as well.

When I woke up again I was in a chair. Sitting across from me was Dean. Saying my name… telling me to wake up.

"De…" I said groggily. Wondering why there were 3 of him. My vision strained to focus on the one in the middle.

"Em… Kiddo are you okay?" He asked tightly.

"Yeah. Yeah… I'm just a little dizzy." It was then I realized someone was dripping down my face. Blood. Its blood, which is why I see red out my peripheral vision.

"Emily stay with me, open your eyes kiddo."

"Okay." I said struggling to focus on him.

I could hear footsteps coming towards us… Gordon. Bastard.

"Okay Dean-o ready to talk to baby brother?" He said as he walked towards Dean with a ringing phone. I recognized the ringtone as the one specifically set for Sam. I know because I set it. That way Dean would always know if Sam or I called.

"Remember what I told you. Or I'll put a bullet in her brain, right here right now." He said as he cocked the gun pointed at me. He then hit the answer button.

"Hello?" Dean said, eyes focused solely on me.

"Dean!" Sam said.

"Sam, I've been looking for you."

"Yeah. Look, I'm in Indiana, uh Lafayette."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah, I talked to Ellen. Just got here myself. It's a real funky town. You ditched me, Sammy." There it is. Funky town. Code for trouble… hopefully Sam caught it as well.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. Look, right now there's someone after me."

"What? Who?"

"I don't know, that's what we need to find out. Where are you?"

"I'm staying at, uh, 5637 Monroe St. Why don't you meet me here?"

"Yeah. Sure." Sam said before hanging up the phone.

"Now, was that so hard?" Gordon asked with a smile.

"Bite me." Dean replied.

Gordon laughed as he lowered the gun.

"So Gordy. I know we ain't exactly your favorite people, but don't you think this is a little extreme?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"What, you think this is revenge?" Gordon asked.

"Well, we did leave you tied up in your own mess for three days." Dean said. I laughed.

"Which was awesome, but sorry, I shouldn't laugh." I said with a grin.

"Yeah. I was definitely planning on whuppin' your ass for that." Gordon said more to Dean than me.

"Mm-hmm." Dean shook his head slowly.

"But that's not what this is. This isn't personal. I'm not a killer, Dean. I'm a hunter. And your brother's fair game."

Dean and I meet eyes and he can't hid the shock on his face. How could he know?

"See, I was doing an exorcism down in Louisiana. Teenage girl, seemed routine, some low-level demon. But between all the jabbering and the head-spinning, the damn thing muttered something. About a coming war. And I don't think it meant to, it just kind of slipped out. But it was too late. Piqued my interest. And you can really make a demon talk, you got the right tools."

"And what happened to the girl it was possessing?" I asked.

"She didn't make it." He said shrugging his shoulders.

"Well, you're a son of a bitch." Dean said shaking his head.

"That's my momma you're talking about." Gordon warned before continuing. "Anyway. This demon tells me there are soldiers to fight in this coming war. Humans, fighting on hell's side. You believe that? I mean, they're psychics, so they're not exactly pure humans, but still. What kind of worthless scumbag have you got to be to turn against your own race?"

Dean fixes a hard glare on Gordon. I want him to shut up. I also want him to keep talking. Obviously he knows something we don't. Even if everything he says sounds ridiculous.

"But you know the biggest kick in the ass? This demon said I knew one of them. Our very own Sammy Winchester." Gordon said with a grin.

"Oh, this is ... this is a whole new level of moronic, even for you." Dean said chuckling, but I know him well enough that I could hear the nervousness behind it.

"Yeah? Come on, Dean. I know. About Sam's visions. I know everything." Dean and I looked at each other once again… Does that mean he knows about me?

"Really? Because a demon told you?" Dean asked as if to discredit the information.

"Yeah, and it wasn't lying." Gordon laughed.

"Demons lie. Its as normal for them as it for me and you to breathe." I said.

"Hey, Emily. I'm not some reckless yahoo, okay? I did my homework. Made damn sure it was true. Look, you've got your Roadhouse connections, I got mine. It's how I found Sammy in the first place. About a month ago I found another one of these freaks here in town. He could deep-fry a person just by touching them."

Everything in me boiled. The Roadhouse? Someone gave Sam up. I thought they had our backs. And what the hell is with this other guy? Electric touch? What the hells gonna happen to me…

"Yeah, did he kill anyone?" I asked.

"Well, besides Mr. Tinkles the cat? No. But he was working up to it. They're all gonna be killers, Dean. We've got to take them all out. And that means Sammy too." He said as he cocked a rifle.

"You think Sam's stupid enough to walk through that front door?" Dean asked him.

"No, I don't. Especially since I'm sure you found a way to warn him. Ha. You really think I'm that stupid?" Gordon said as he began to pace. "No. Sammy's going to scope the place first, see me covering the front door. So he's going to take the back. And when he does he'll hit the tripwire. Then –" He pulled a grenade. "Boom." He said grinning widely.

My eyes went wide and searched for Dean's. No… surely Sam would see this coming. He's smart. He'll figure it out!

"Sam's not gonna fall for a friggin' tripwire." Dean added.

"Maybe you're right. That's why I'll have a second one. Hey, look. I'm sorry. I wish I didn't have to do this, I really do. But for what it's worth, it'll be quick."

"Come on, man. I know Sam, okay, better than anyone. He's got more of a conscience than I do, I mean, the guy feels guilty surfing the Internet for porn."

"Ew… Dean." I mumbled.

"Maybe you're right. But one day he's going to be a monster." Gordon said.

"How? Huh? How's a guy like Sam become a monster?" I asked.

"Beats me. But he will. You know… even more interesting. The rumor is… if Sam's out of the game, then Emily gets pulled off the bench." Gordon said as he turned towards me. Everything in me froze.

"No, you don't know that!" Dean yelled suddenly showing his fear. Gordon already has me… if he think's I'm a danger as well he could kill me here and now. And he's psycho enough to do it.

"I'm surprised at you, Dean. Getting all emotional. I'd heard you were more of a professional than this. Look, let's say you were cruising around in that car of yours and, uh, you had little Hitler riding shotgun, right? Back when he was just some goofy, crappy artist. But you knew what he was going to turn into someday. You'd take him out, no questions, am I right?"

"That's not Sam, and its not gonna be Emily either." Dean said firmly.

"Yes it is. You just can't see it yet. Dean, it's his destiny. Look, I'm sympathetic. He's your brother and she's your little baby sister. You love them. This has got to hurt like hell for you. But here's the thing. It would wreck him. But your dad? If it really came right down to it, he would have had the stones to do the right thing here. But you're telling me you're not the man he is?" Gordon says as he gags Dean with a scarf. Dean glared at him furiously.

"You shut your mouth." I said low and hard.

"Oh don't worry sweetheart. I've got one for you too." He said as he walked over and gagged me as well.

It wasn't long before we heard the clicking of a door opening. Dean's eyes went wild. Looking around. Frantic. The fear in his eyes amplified the fear I felt .

"Ya hear him?" Gordon asked.

"Here he comes." He said again as we heard footsteps, then the sound of an explosion. Everything in me fell. No… no please not Sammy.

Dean began to scream through his gag at Gordon. I sat there, frozen with fear.

"Hold on. Not yet. Just wait and see." Gordon said excitedly. It made me sick to watch his face, the pleasure all this gave him.

Then there was another explosion.

"No!" I screamed against the gag in my own mouth. I began to cry and when I looked to Dean he was too… no. No… Not Sammy. I can't lose him too.

"Sorry, Dean… You know what I have to do next. Gotta be sure she won't be next." He said as he walked over to me with the large knife he's kept on his hip. Dean's eyes were wider than I've ever seen them before. I watched as he fought against the ropes. He fought harder than I've ever seen him fight for anything, but nothing was budging. I felt Gordon slip the blade against my throat. The sobs came uncontrollably at this point. Dean. No… don't let him see this. God please. He can't lose me and Sammy. It will kill him. He can't see this… he'll never forgive himself.

"Drop it." A voice said from behind us. Sam.

"Sam… smart move, ditching the shoes so I couldn't hear you, one for each trip wire right? Careful walking around here barefoot. You could get tetanus."

"Put it down now!" Sam screamed.

"You wouldn't shoot me, would you, Sammy? Because your brother, he thinks you're some kind of saint."

"Yeah? Well, I wouldn't be so sure." Sam said viciously.

"See, that's what I said." Gordon said as he slowly slid the blade across my throat, I could feel the slight sting as the blade knicked its way across the front of my throat, leaving the glow of blood in a straight line behind.

Before I knew what was happening I could hear the struggle of a fight going on behind me. I can't see anything so I can't see who's winning. Dean is watching them intensely.

"You're no better than the filthy things you hunt." Gordon spat at him. There was more struggle… then there was the sound of fists meeting a face.

"Do it. Do it! Show your brother the killer you really are, Sammy." Gordon grumbled.

I heard a body fall to the ground moments later. I could barely turn my head and see it was Gordon's.

"It's Sam." Sam spat back.

Sam untied me and then went to untie Dean. Dean jumped up and began to examine Sam's injuries, thankful that he was alive, as was I. I was just too dizzy to stand. After Sam nodded to let Dean know that he was okay Dean made his way to me.

"De…" I groaned, still dizzy. His finger traced the bloodly line across my neck. He suddenly became furious.

"That son of a…" Dean growled as he jumped up and went for the unconscious Gordon.

"Dean. No." Sam yelled stopping him.

"I let him live once. I'm not making the same mistake twice." Dean said picking up his gun off the table.

"Trust me. Gordon's taken care of. Come on." Sam countered as he lifted me out of the chair and reached to pull on Dean's jacket. He led us out the front door.

We hadn't made it far when suddenly there were gunshots filling the air.

"Come on!" Dean yelled as we all ducked and took off running. "You call this taken care of?"

Sam stopped us and had us all lie down in a ditch within sight of the house we were fleeing.

"What the hell are we doing?" I asked as Sam reached over and covered my bleeding head with his sleeve.

"Just trust me on this, all right?" He said. It wasn't seconds later that we could hear sirens blaring as they came down the road. Several cop cars emerged, spotlights focused on Gordon, his hands each containing loaded guns. He stopped. Then he dropped the guns and fell to his knees.

"Anonymous tip." Sam mumbled grinning.

"Sammy you are one fine upstanding citizen." Dean said with a grin himself.

When we got to the impala I laid down in the backseat.

"Em don't go to sleep… you might have a concussion." Sam said.

"Sammy… please. I'm so tired." I asked weakly.

"Sorry kiddo. Gotta keep you awake for a while." He said sympathetically. Dean began dialing someone's number.

I listened as Dean filled her in on the day's events.

"Gordon Walker was hunting Sam?" She asked shocked.

"Yeah, and Em. He almost killed us all because somebody over there can't keep their friggin' mouth shut."

"And you honestly think that it was me? Or Ash? Or Jo? No way."

"Well, who else knows about all this, I mean, you must have been talking to somebody."

"Hey, you can say a lot of things about us. But we are not disloyal. And we're not stupid. We haven't breathed a word of this."

"Gordon said he had Roadhouse connections, Ellen."

"And this roadhouse is full of other hunters. They're all smart. They're good trackers. Each of them with their own patterns and connections. Look, hell, I could name twelve of them right now that are capable of putting this together. I am sorry about what happened, Dean. But I can't control these people. Or what they choose to believe."

"Yeah. Alright we'll talk later."

Next it was Sam dialing.

"Hey, Ava, it's Sam. Again. Um, call me when you get this, just want to make sure you got home okay. All right. Bye." He said after a few moments. I'm guessing Ava is the woman from the motel room.

"Everything all right?" Dean asked him.

"Yeah, I hope so." Sam said.

"Well, Gordon should be reaching for the soap for the next few years at least."

"Yeah. If they pin Scott Carey's murder on him. And if he doesn't bust out."

"Dude, you ever take off like that again…" Dean started.

"What? You'll kill me?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"That is so not funny." I groaned from the backseat.

"All right. All right. So where to next, then?" Sam asked slightly laughing.

"One word: Amsterdam." Dean said.

"Dean!" Sam said shocked.

"Come on, man, I hear the coffeeshops don't even serve coffee."

I laughed. What an idiot my brother is.

"I'm not just gonna ditch the job." Sam said flatly.

"Screw the job. Screw it, man, I'm sick of the job anyway. I mean, we don't get paid, we don't get thanked. The only thing we get's bad luck."

"Well, come on, dude, you're a hunter. I mean, it's what you were meant to do." Sam said, and he was right. Dean was by far the best hunter I'd ever met. He was made for this.

"Ah, I wasn't meant to do anything, I don't believe in that destiny crap." Dean groaned.

"You mean you don't believe in my destiny." Sam corrected.

"Or mine." I added from the backseat.

"Yeah, whatever." Dean said.

"Look, Dean, I've tried running before. I mean, I ran all the way to California and look what happened. You can't run from this. And you can't protect me. The best we can do is try and protect Em from getting involved with all this." Sam said.

I looked up to meet Dean's gaze in the mirror… worried that Sam was right.

"Sam I already am involved." I said quietly.

"Yeah but not to the same extent. We should just focus on keeping you out of it all, not trying to pull me away. I'm already in." Sam said.

"Sam. I'm gonna protect you. No matter what." Dean said

"Thanks for that." Sam said quietly. "Look, Dean, I'm gonna keep hunting. I mean, whatever is coming, I'm taking it head-on, so if you really want to watch my back, then I guess you're gonna have to stick around." Sam said matter of factly.

"Bitch." Dean said with a grin.

"Jerk." Sam replied.

"You're both assholes, now get me to a room… I need sleep." I demanded. They both laughed.

"Yeah okay kiddo." Dean said.

We waited till we at least crossed the state line. I was so tired.

"Em… wake up." Sam said shaking me awake for the thousandth time.

"I'm up." I said barely forming the words.

"We're here kiddo, got the keys." Dean said as he opened my door. I went to climb out but immediately lost my balance and began to fall face first towards the dirt, luckily big arms caught me before I did.

"Whoa… okay, how bout I just carry you." Dean offered. I nodded weakly. He laid me on the bed and it was the most comfortable thing I've ever felt in my life. I mean. It probably wasn't really. It was probably lumpy and gross. But I was THAT tired.

"Em we gotta clean this up." Sam said as he examined my head again. I flinched as he touched it.

"Noooo… just let me sleep." I whined.

"Emily." He said sounding annoyed.

"Fine…" I got up and sat against the headboard, letting Sam clean up the wound to the side of my head and swipe some disinfectant across my neck.

"Dam kiddo he really worked you over." Sam said as he finished up.

"Yeah, well. Shit happens."

"I guess… kinda makes me wish I'd let Dean just kill him." Sam said causing me to chuckle.

"Sammy… why did you leave." I asked barely able to keep my eyes open.

"Em. I just… I don't want to become something bad. I don't want to hurt you two, or get you hurt by putting you two in the middle of it all. I thought maybe it was safer for us all if I just split off. Kept the focus on me, away from you."

"Sammy… you're never safer alone. Ever. You need us… and we need you."

"I know Em. I'm sorry." He said as he wrapped his long arms around me. It was so warm and comfortable. I never wanted to let go. I could sleep here for days.

"How you holding up with all this?" He asked me.

"I'm not really… you two are the ones holding me up. Literally." I giggled.

"I don't know Sam. Its just a lot to take in. There so much we don't know about it… but I do know that you're not a bad person. You never will be. Your too good for your own good." I said grinning up at him.

"Yeah. Okay. Now I know you have a concussion." He said rolling his eyes.

"Yeah well. Concussion or not I'm going to fall asleep eventually."

"Well at least go get changed first." Sam said helping me to stand. When I got out of the bathroom Dean was already passed out asleep and Sam was waiting for me outside the door. Making sure I safely made it across the room. I laid down and he climbed in after me.

"Sammy…" I whispered after a minute or two.

"Yeah kiddo?"

"We're gonna be okay."

I don't know if I was saying it to convince him… or myself.


	32. Chapter 32

Author's note: Sorry it took so long to get this to yall! Its been hectic lately, my work schedule has changed a few times. I'm thinking of bringing someone back into the story… tell me what you think! Love you guys! Please R&R!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

I dreamt about him again.

Don't worry its only the 4th night in a row. Doesn't mean anything right? I think its all this drama… all this change… all the bullshit. Its made me miss how normal I felt for those few days. Even though I know I'll never be able to fit in there… it doesn't mean I didn't wish I could have. Especially now.

"Find anything?" Sam asked as he walked back in with coffee and water.

"No man, I got nothing." Dean answered looking over all our stuff again. We had flyers plastered over the walls, files upon files to dig through, trails that have all gone cold. We just can't find her.

Ava was the girl in Sam's motel room… the one he was with when he ran off and ditched us. I wasn't mad at him for leaving- until I found out he was working a case with some random girl and didn't bother to include us. Didn't bother to include me… even though its all tied back to the yellow eyed Demon and what's going on with us.

So now I'm pissed and Ava's missing, oh and don't forget to include her dead fiancé. Sam's having a great week.

I wonder how his week is going… I wonder if he still has to sits next to an empty seat, or if someone else has wondered in and taken it.

"Ellen did have one thing." Sam said bringing me out of my thoughts again.

"Hmm?" I asked looking up to him.

"A hotel in Cornwall, Connecticut. Two freak accidents in the past three weeks." A case?

"Yeah? What's that have to do with Ava?" Dean asked.

"It's a job. I mean, a lady drowned in the bathtub; then a few days ago a guy falls down the stairs, head turns a complete one-eighty. Which isn't exactly normal, you know? Look, I don't know, Dean, it might be nothing, but I told Ellen we'd think about checking it out."

"You did?" He asked surprised. Sam has been nothing less than adamant that we find Ava.

"Yeah. You seem surprised." Sam said.

"Well yeah, it's just, you know. not the, uh, patented Sam Winchester way, is it?" Dean asked. I chuckled. Sam seemed offended.

"What way is that?" Sam asked challengingly.

"I just figured after Ava there'd be, uh, you know, more angst and droopy music and staring out the rainy windows, and…. Yeah I'll shut up now." Dean quickly stopped himself before he dug the hole any deeper. I sat back amused. Dean wasn't lying. That is surely the Sam Winchester Way.

"Look. I'm the one who told her to go back home. Now her fiancé's dead and some demon has taken her off to God knows where. You know? But we've been looking for a month now, and we've got nothing. So I'm not giving up on her, but I'm not going to let other people die either. We've got to save as many people as we can." Sam said determined.

"Wow. That attitude is just way too healthy for me, and I'm officially uncomfortable now. Thank you." Dean added walking away, Sam and I both laughed.

"What about you Em? You in?" Sam asked turning to me. He's been kissing ass for a few weeks now.

"Yeah. I'm down." I said not looking back up at him.

"All right, call Ellen. Tell her we'll take it." Dean said beginning to pack our things.

Sam walked out to call Ellen.

"Hey Em… cut the kid a break. You've been cold shouldering him since this whole Ava thing started." Dean said quietly.

"Dean… he took off again. And this time it was to work a case? With some random bitch? I mean seriously… Why are you not more pissed off about this?"

"Because he needed to process this in his own way. Incase you forgot you got a little irate too. You couldn't stand to share a room with me."

"Whatever… just leave it alone Dean."

"No. What is up with you… you've been off all week."

"I don't know… Just got shit on my mind."

"… You mean Luke?" Dean asked so low it was almost a whisper.

I froze. How does he know that? I haven't said a word to him or Sam about the dreams.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said annoyed.

"Don't you think trying to lie to me is a little pointless? I mean. Honestly… you think you fool me anymore?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"Dean." I sighed.

"I heard you… last night. You mumbled his name. I don't think Sam heard it… he was too invested in what he was reading. You really shouldn't fall asleep at the table." I sat down on the bed and sighed, fiddling with the shirt in my hands. Dean sat down across from me.

"I don't get it De… that's the 4th night in a row."

"I don't either Em… that was months ago. You still miss him kiddo?"

"I guess. I mean. I thought I was past this… I haven't even thought about him in weeks, then all of a sudden I start dreaming of him?"

"Well. I guess its better than the alternative… at least its not nightmares, right?" Dean asked. I just looked at him, letting me eyes talk instead. Dean sadly smiled at me.

The truth is they are nightmares. Well, sorta. They start off amazing… me and him. Kissing. Dancing. Laying together in a field, riding around in his truck. Then… a moster. A spirit… a demon. Something always comes in and reminds me why I can't have him. He can't be in this life with me.

"Well kiddo… they'll stop. They always do. Lets get packed up and hit the road. Get a change of scenery. Maybe itll help."

"Yeah. Maybe so." I nodded.

"Em… seriously though. Give Sammy a break."

I sighed annoyed before throwing myself backwards on the bed.

"That's my girl." Dean mumbled, causing me to grin like a little kid.

As we packed up the car, I thought about what Dean said. I've been avoiding Sam mostly. Only talking when I need to. Only sharing a bed with him when I HAD to.

"Hey Sasquatch." I said as Sam packed the trunk. He looked up at me.

"Don't squish my bag." I said with a grin. He grinned back.

I climbed up front, sitting in the middle once the boys finished and got in on either side of me.

We drove for a few hours before Sam began to doze off, I could feel myself getting sleepy. I leaned against Sam, he subconsciously wrapped an arm around me. When he did I looked up at Dean who was grinning at us like an idiot.

"Shut up." I muttered before comfortably falling asleep against my giant brother.

"Dude, this is sweet. I never get to work jobs like this." Dean said excitedly as we all climbed out of the car and took in the sight of the large old inn in front of us.

"Like what?" Sam asked.

"Old school haunted houses, you know? Fog, and secret passageways ... sissy British accents. Might even run into Fred and Daphne while we're inside. Mmm, Daphne. Love her."

"Ew Dean… come on." I gagged slightly. Causing Sam to chuckle behind me. We began walking towards the front door, but I felt a giant arm slip off my shoulder and stopped.

"Hey, wait a sec." Sam said, observing the large urn at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm not so sure haunted's the problem." Sam said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You see this pattern here? That's a quincunx, that's a five-spot."

"Five-spot." Dean muttered to himself, trying to remember what it means. "That's used for hoodoo spellwork, isn't it?"

"Right, yeah. You fill this thing with bloodweed and you've got a powerful charm to ward off enemies." I added.

"Yeah, except I don't see any bloodweed. Don't you think this place is a little too, uh, white meat for hoodoo?" Dean asked.

"Maybe." Sam shrugged.

"Well lets go in and find out." I offered leading the boys in.

"May I help you?" A woman asked as she nearly ran right into us.

"Hi, yeah, I'd like a room for a couple of nights." Dean asked as two little girls ran through the room and almost smacked into us.

"Hey!" The lady yelled. "Sorry about that." She said smiling at Sam and I.

"Its no problem." Sam said politely.

"Yeah we're used to little girls running a muck." Dean said as he ruffled my hair. Every bit of me wanted to punch him, but I held back. The lady smiled.

"Well, um, congratulations, you could be some of our final guests." Susan said as she went behind the desk holding all the keys.

"Well. Sounds vaguely ominous." Dean said cautiously.

"No, I'm sorry, I mean we're closing at the end of the month." She explained, then she looked up and I could tell she was assessing us. "Well, let me guess. You three are here antiquing?" I had to stifle a laugh. I knew what she was implying… Dean did not as he shrugged nonchalantly at Sam and I before answering her.

"How'd you know?"

"Oh, you just look the type." She smiled.

Dean looked mildly uncomfortable with her reply. Sam looked to me in confusion. I had to bite my tongue not to laugh.

"So, uh, king-sized bed? And a conjoining room for your daughter?" She asked. Suddenly it clicked with both of my brothers, and I couldn't hold back any longer. I had to turn away from the woman while I laughed silently to myself.

"What? No, uh, no, we're, we're…two singles. We're just brothers. And this is our little sister." Sam quickly jumped in explaining.

"Oh. Oh, I'm so sorry."

"What'd you mean that we look the type?" Dean asked. The poor woman didn't know what to say, so I quickly jumped in to rescue her.

"You know, speaking of antiques, you have a really, really interesting urn on the front porch. Where did you get that?" I asked her.

"Oh, I have no idea, it's been there forever. Here you go, Mr. Mahagov." She answered handing Dean the keys.

"Thanks." Dean smiled.

"You'll be staying in room 237. Sherwin, could you show these gentlemen to their rooms?" She called over to the elderly man coming around the corner.

"Let me guess. Antiquers?" He asked grinning. I couldn't help myself and busted out laughing this time. Dean and Sam both glared at me before following the man up the stairs.

The poor old man drug our bags up the stairs, It was painful to hear all of our weapons hit against stair after stair. It was killing Dean.

"I could give you a hand with that bag." Dean offered.

"I got it." The man assured him.

"Okay." Dean said through clenched teeth.

"So the hotel's closing up, huh?" I asked him.

"Yep. Miss Susan tried to make a go of it, but the guests just don't come like they used to. Still, it's a damn shame."

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked.

"It may not look it anymore, but this place was a palace. Two different vice-presidents laid their heads on our pillows. My parents worked here, I practically grew up here. Gonna miss it. Here's your room." He slipped the key in the lock and then handed them to us as we walked in, Dean turned to close the door to find Sherwin with his hand outstretched.

"You're not gonna ... cheap out on me, are you, boy?" He asked. Dean looked shocked, I reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. Handing the old man 20 bucks… he may come in handy later, and I want to be on his good side. He smiled and I winked at him as he walked away. I shut the door and turned to face a very annoyed Dean.

"I'll take that." He said snatching his wallet out of my hands.

"Geez don't have a cow." I said rolling my eyes. Dean walked further into the room but then stopped.

"What the fuck?" He said.

"What?" Sam and I asked walking over to him. There was a very large, very ugly, very creepy antique wedding dress decorating the wall.

"That's normal." I muttered thoroughly creeped out.

"Why the hell would anyone stay here? I'm amazed they kept in business this long." Dean asked.

"All right. Victim number one: Joan Edison, forty three years old, a realtor handling the sale of the hotel; and victim number two was Larry Williams, moving some stuff out to Goodwill." Sam said bringing us back on track. He's good at that. Honestly I don't know how Dean and I got anything done without him.

"Well, there's a connection: they're both tied up in shutting the place down." I suggested.

"Yeah. Maybe somebody here doesn't want to leave, and they're using hoodoo to fight back." Sam added.

"Who do you think our witch doctor is, that Susan lady? Dean asked.

"No, doesn't seem likely. I mean, she is the one selling." Sam said.

"So what then, Sherwin?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"Of course, the most troubling question is why do these people assume we're gay?" Dean then asks.

"Well, you are kinda butch. Probably think you're overcompensating." I offered.

"Ha, Right." Dean laughed mockingly.

"And Sammy over here is very in touch with his feelings." I suggested.

That was enough to earn the bitchface from both of them, they then looked to each other, and back at me with evil grins.

"No.. hey… wait. What are you doing…" I asked slowly preparing to run.

"Guys… stop. Just. Wai-" But Sam and Dean both lunged for me before I could finish. I squealed and took off at full speed jumping and running across the top of the bed, but it was useless effort. Sam's long arms reached up and grabbed my ankle, and Dean quickly darted in front of me assuring I wouldn't face plant, but instead end up being held down and tickled to death.

The next move was to take a look around, so we began wandering through the halls.

"Hey. Look at that. More hoodoo." I pointed out as we walked past an old vase. Next to it was a door marked "private" but Dean knocked anyways. Susan quickly opened it.

"Hi there." Dean smiled.

"Hi. Everything okay with your room?"

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, everything's great. Yeah." Sam and Dean began talking over each other.

"Well, I was, I was just in the middle of packing." She said implying that she was busy.

"Hey! Are those antique dolls? Because this one…" Dean threw an arm around me. "This one here, she's got a major doll collection back home. Dontcha? Huh?" He asked, obviously getting me back the whole gay thing.

"Big time." I smiled at Susan after glaring at Dean with daggers behind my eyes. He knows I HATE dolls. They creep me out. I have always been scared of them… Sammy's thing is clowns, Dean's is planes… mine is dolls, and spiders, and… well. Okay. Maybe my list is a little more lengthy then the boys but Dolls and Spiders top it!

"Big time. You think she could come — or we could come in and take a look?" Dean asked.

"I don't know.." Susan was hesitant to invite strangers in, and I don't blame her.

"Please? I mean, she loves them. She's not gonna tell you this, but she's, she's always dressing 'em up in these little tiny outfits and, um, you'd make her day. You — she would, huh? Huh?" Dean asked turning to me again.

"It's true." I barely got the words out past the anger.

"Okay. Come on in." Shit.

"All right. All right!" Dean ushered me in and Sam followed behind us.

"Wow. This is a lot of dolls. I mean, they're nice, you know. Not super creepy at all." Dean said.

I felt his pain but only intensified by about a thousand. This room is a scene straight from a horror movie. There are at least a hundred of these dolls in here. Different sizes, some old, some new. I want to run. Screaming.

"Yeah, I suppose they are a little creepy. But they've been in the family forever. A lot of sentimental value." Susan explained.

"What is this? The hotel?" Sam asked as he approached a doll house.

"Yeah, that's right. Exact replica, custom built." I walked over and noticed a doll at the bottom of the stairs… his head turned sideways.

"His head got twisted around. What happened to it?" I asked.

"Tyler, probably." Susan answered just as one of the two little girls from earlier ran in the room.

"Mommy! Maggie's being mean." She whined.

"Tyler, tell her I said to be nice, okay?" Susan said exasperated.

"Hey Tyler. I see you broke your doll. You want me to fix it?" Sam asked.

"I didn't break it. I found it like that." She answered.

"Oh. Well, uh, maybe Maggie did it." I offered.

"No, neither of us did it. Grandma would get mad if we broke 'em." Tyler answered sullenly.

"Tyler, she wouldn't get mad." Susan quickly said.

"Grandma?" Dean asked.

"Grandma Rose. These were all her toys." Tyler answered him.

"Oh. Really. Where's Grandma Rose now?" I asked.

"Up in her room."

"You know, I'd, I'd uh, I'd really love to talk to Rose about her incredible doll-" I started but was quickly cut off.

"No. I mean, I'm afraid that's impossible. My mother's been very sick and she's not taking any visitors." Susan answered. I nodded politely.

We left soon after that and I was sure to corner Dean as soon as we were alone and in our room.

I reached up and flicked the top of his ear.

"Ow! What the hell Em?" He said turning to face me.

I quickly punched him in the gut.

"You're an ass! You know I HATE dolls!" I said quickly.

"Yeah well we needed in that room."

"Yeah well next time you can be the freak that loves dolls!"

"Sam, will you help me out here?" Dean asked gesturing to him.

"Sam you just got back on my good side and I suggest you stay out of this or you'll be where he is." I warned before he had the chance to answer. He slowly raised his hands as if he was surrendering.

"Wow. Thanks." Dean said rolling his eyes.

"Well, what do you think? Dolls, hoodoo, mysterious shut-in grandma?" Dean asked after I walked away from him.

"Well, dolls are used in all kinds of voodoo and hoodoo, like curses, and binding spells, and ... " Sam started.

"And you two wonder why they terrify me." I added sourly.

"Yeah, maybe we've found our witch doctor. All right, I'll see what I can go dig up on boomin' Granny. You go get online, check old obits, freak accidents, that sort of thing, see if she's whacked anybody before."

"Right." Sam agreed pulling out his laptop.

"Don't go surfing porn - that's not the kind of whacking I mean." Dean added.

"Okay! You are disgusting!" I quickly snapped at him as Sam rolled his eyes. "I'm gonna go dig around, see what else I can find out about the place." I said pushing past Dean.

I descended the stairs as Dean watched. I could feel his eyes on me the whole way down. I was thankful to be out the front door and away for a moment.

I dreamt of him again last night. Even the comfort of being on the road couldn't keep the dreams away.

I went to the impala parked around back, in the quiet parking lot beside the playground. I knew exactly what I was looking for, but I didn't want Dean to see.

I went to the trunk and began to dig through one of my bags. The one I hid it in. In the hideaway pocket in the side I pulled out a small piece of paper, and a wallet sized picture.

I don't know why. I went to throw away his number a dozen times… the photo two dozen times. I never could let go of them.

When Dean took away my phone I was furious, even though I know he did it to help me. I thought that was my last chance. Until I found these again. I knew if he found them he'd burn them. Make sure that they were gone. So instead I hid them.

I put back the photo and put the number in my new phone before replacing it as well. Then I went to sit in the swings, it was quiet out here. Peaceful. The last couple of months have been so hectic. It was nice to sit down and take a deep breath. I opened my phone and stared at the blank text message.

Wondering what to say. Should I say anything at all? Has he forgotten about me? Would he even care… after what I did would he even want to hear from me again? The familiar feeling of guilt rolled in my stomach and I closed the phone.

Its not safe for him. I'm not safe for him.

It was getting dark outside when I heard the sirens. I watched as an ambulance quickly pulled in, then a police car… and another.

Somethings wrong, I quickly ran in to search for my brothers. To be sure they were safe.

I was running in towards the stairs when I smacked right into Dean.

"Oh thank god! You're okay!" he said quickly assessing me like I did him.

"De where's Sam?" I asked still frantic.

"Upstairs come on, Susan said some guy hung himself." Dean said as he grabbed my hand and dragged me back up to our room.

We burst through the door and relief flooded me as I saw Sam sitting by the window. I watched as Dean sighed in relief as well.

"There's been another one. Some guy just hung himself in his room." Dean announced as I closed the door behind us.

"Yeah. I saw." Sam said darkly.

"We've gotta figure this out, and fast. What'd you find out about Granny?" Dean asked him.

"You're the boss." Sam mused aloud.

"What?" Dean asked confused.

"You're bossy. And short." Sam said before laughing a little.

"Are you drunk?" I asked approaching him.

"Yeah." He laughed. "So? Stupid."

It was then I looked around and found all the empty liquor bottles from the mini bar… all of them. I then looked up to Dean, who shared a worried glance with me.

"Dude, what are you thinking? We're working a case." Dean said.

"That guy who hung himself. I couldn't save him." Sam said staring off, I could vaguely see his eyes beginning to water.

"What are you talking about? You didn't know, you couldn't have done anything." I said reaching for him, he yanked his arm away from my reach. Then he shifted his gaze to me.

"That's an excuse, Emily. I should have found a way to save him. I should have saved Ava too." He said bitterly.

"Yeah, well, you can't save everyone. Even you said that." Dean said walking up to him. Sam slammed his hand down on the table, causing me to jump back slightly. I've never seen him like this.

"No, Dean, you don't understand, all right? The more people I save, the more I can change!"

"Change what?" Dean asked.

"My destiny, Dean!" He yelled leaning forward and gesturing to himself with his hands on his chest.

"All right. Time for bed. Come on, Sasquatch." Dean said rolling his eyes. He leaned over and pulled up Sammy by the shoulders. "Come on." He said ushering him over to a bed.

"I need you to watch out for me." Sam said quietly, more to Dean then me.

"Yeah. I always do." Dean answered.

"No! No, no, no. You have to watch out for me, all right? And if I ever ... turn into something that I'm not ... you have to kill me." Sam said sadly. Every bit of watching this broke my heart. To see Sam, the levelheaded calm one, fall apart.

"Sam." Dean said dismissing his words.

"Dean! Dad told you to do it, you have to." Sam yelled forcing Dean to face him.

"Yeah, well, Dad's an ass. He never should have said anything. I mean, you don't do that, you don't, you don't lay that kind of shit on your kids." Dean said quickly. Breaking my heart again.

"No. He was right to say it! Who knows what I might become? Even now, everyone around me dies!" Sam yelled.

"Yeah, well, I'm not dying, okay? And neither are you. Come on. Sam." Dean said pushing him onto the bed. Sam quickly sat back up and clutched on to Dean's jacket. Dean reached out and grabbed his shoulder.

"No, please! Dean, you're the only one who can do it. Promise." Sam asked.

"Don't ask that of me." Dean said flatly.

"Dean, please. You have to promise me." Sam pleaded… Dean looked up to me, I could see it was killing him to watch this too.

"I promise." Dean said looking back at Sam.

"Thanks." Sam reached up to grab Dean's face. "Thank you. You are…"

"All right. Come on." Dean batted away Sam's hands and shoved him back down on the bed, he turned over onto his stomach and clung to a pillow as his eyes began to close. Dean stood and rub his hand down his face.

"De." I said softly getting his attention, he turned to look at me.

"Go ahead… I got him." I offered, knowing he needed a drink, and we were obviously out.

Dean nodded slowly and walked over, kissing me on the top of my head before he left.

I sighed and looked down at Sam. He looked asleep… maybe. I grabbed the trash and began to pick up all the empty bottles before setting it next to the bedside incase he didn't make it to the bathroom when all this catches up to him. I turned to walk away when someone grabbed my hand.

"Emily…" Sam slurred as he clutched onto my hand.

"Yeah Sammy I'm here." I said sitting down next to him.

"I'm sorry I'm a bad brother." He said with tears filling his eyes.

"Sammy don't say that."

"No.. I am. I left you… I left you for so long. Something happened… something hurt you and I wasn't there."

"Sammy stop." I whispered looking down.

"I'm so sorry I didn't keep you safe… I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"Sammy. Its okay. I'm okay…" I tried to assure him.

"No… you're not. You're broken. And I wanna fix it." He said reaching up and stroking my cheek.

"Shhh… you do. Everyday." I said pulling his hands back down.

"Emily. You have to make him do it… you have to make him or I could hurt you."

"No Sammy… you wouldn't. You could never do that." I said faking a smile.

"What if I'm a monster." He asked quietly.

"You're not… because if you are, then I am too." I whispered back sadly.

"I'm gonna save you. No matter what." He said to me determined, yet sloppy.

"I know. I'm gonna save you too… I promise."

I laid down next to him, despite the smell, and let him wrap his arms around me. He quickly drifted off to sleep, and I wasn't far behind him.

I woke up to an empty bed and the sound of someone throwing up their guts in the bathroom. I slowly sat up and found Dean standing at the bathroom door… which would make Sam the one tossing his cookies. I got up and walked over to the table, holding a warm cup of coffee between my hands. I hadn't forgotten about last night's conversation with Sam, but even that wasn't enough to keep me from dreaming of Luke.

"How you feeling, Sammy?" Dean asked loudly through the door. Sam groaned in response.

"I guess mixing whisky and Jäger wasn't such a gangbuster idea, was it? I'll bet you don't remember a thing from last night, do you?" Dean sounded hopeful, I looked at him sadly… I hope he had too.

"Ohh, I can still taste the tequila." Sam groaned back… Dean smiled, but I'm not taking that as a yes or a no.

"You know, there's a really good hangover remedy - it's a, it's a greasy pork sandwich served up in a dirty ashtray." Dean said smiling.

I laughed and slapped him playfully.

Sam began heaving again.

"Oh, I hate you." He said through the door.

"I know you do. Hey, turns out when Grandma Rose was a tyke, she had a Creole nanny who wore a hoodoo necklace."

Sam opened the door and the smell of tequila and vomit came with him… yikes. Reminds me of my last tequila binge. Mine ended even worse than Sam's.

"So you think she taught Rose hoodoo?" Sam asked.

"Yes I do." Dean said discreetly covering his nose as he stood right in front of Sam.

"All right. I think it's time we talked to Rose, then." Sam said.

"Oh. You can brush your teeth first." Dean said walking away. I smirked at him and smelt the warm cup of coffee in front of me.

Soon after that we were picking the lock to find this mysterious granny.

"All right… we're clear. Dean said as he opened the door to Susan's room and led us in past the room of dolls, next we went upstairs, and found yet another closed door, this one was thankfully unlocked. I reached back and placed a hand on my gun as Dean slowly opened the door, revealing a woman in a rocking chair facing away from us.

"Mrs. Thompson? Mrs. Thompson?" Sam asked. No reply.

"Rose? Hi, Mrs. Thompson, we're not here to hurt you, it's okay —" I said walking around in front of her.

"Rose?" I asked quietly. She stared at me with eyes full of fear, but didn't respond.

"Dean. This woman's had a stroke." I said quietly, realizing why she couldn't reply.

"Yeah, but hoodoo's hands-on, I mean, you've got to mix herbs, and chant, and build an altar." Sam said.

"Yeah. So it can't be Rose. Hey, maybe it's not even hoodoo." Dean offered. "Or she could be faking."

"Yeah, what are you gonna do, poke her with a stick?" I asked. Dean seemed to contemplate the idea.

"Dude! You're not gonna poke her with a stick!" Sam quickly said.

"What the hell?! What are you doing in here?" Susan asked as she entered the room.

"Oh, we just wanted to talk to Rose…" Sam quickly tried.

"Well, the door was open…" Dean overlapped.

"Look at her, she is scared out of her wits. I want you out of my hotel in two minutes or I'm calling the cops." Susan warned. We all left immediately.

"Great. So what do we do now?" I asked as we quickly packed our bags.

"Well… we're just gonna have to hang around. Stay low."

"Dean we don't even know what we're looking for, how are we gonna find it if we can't even get in here."

"Dammit Em, I don't know… but we don't have another option. If we stay we're gonna get arrested." Dean said flatly.

We packed up and quickly loaded into the impala, we pulled to the edge of the parking lot and sat quietly as we watched movers come and go. Then we watched as Susan came outside and sat in the same swing I sat in just yesterday… apparently I'm not the only one who thought it was a good place to stop and think.

"Poor woman." I mumbled.

"Yeah." Sam agreed.

"So Em… any more dreams?" Dean asked.

"Seriously?" I asked gesturing to Sam.

"Em I heard you the other night too… I know already." Sam confessed.

"Yeah…" I sighed. "Every night like clock work."

"What's got your mind fixated back on Luke?" Sam asked me.

"I don't know… I hadn't thought about him in weeks. It just started out of nowhere."

"Well Em, something triggered it."

"Well Sammy do you know what it was? Cause I sure as hell don't, and I wish they would go away." I said frustrated.

We watched for a few more minutes before we noticed other things on the playground began to move on their own… Susan noticed it as well, she stood as the wind picked up and things around her all began to move… she slowly backed away from the playground with her back to the parking lot. She didn't see the car turn on and start to move towards her, but Sam and Dean did. They were out of the car in a second and Sam was able to shove her out of the way moments before she would have died… I think it was safe to say she wasn't going to call the cops.

She led us back inside… to sit at the bar.

"Whiskey." She said to Sam pointing to the bottle behind him.

"Sure. I know the feeling." He said as he began to make her a glass.

"What the hell happened out there?" She asked.

"You want the truth?" I asked her.

"Of course."

"Well, at first we thought it was some sort of hoodoo curse, but that out there? That was definitely a spirit." Dean explained.

"Here." Sam said handing her the whiskey.

"You're insane." She said flatly.

"Yeah, it's been said." I mused.

"Look, I'm sorry, Susan. We don't exactly have time to ease you into this, but we need to know when your mother had the stroke." Sam asked.

"What does that have to do with any—"

"Just answer the question." Dean said.

"About a month ago."

"Right before the killings began." I said.

"See? So what if Rose was working hoodoo, but not to hurt anyone. To protect them." Sam said turning to Dean and I.

"She was using the five spot urns to ward off the spirit." Dean said putting it together.

"Right, until she had a stroke and she couldn't anymore." I said.

"I don't believe this." Susan said drinking the whiskey again.

"Listen, sister, that car didn't try to run you down by itself, okay? I mean, I guess it did, technically, but, but the spirit can — forget it." Dean tried but stopped.

"Look, believe what you want. But the fact is you and your family are in danger, all right? So you need to clear everybody out of here: your employees, your mother, your daughters, everyone." I said to her.

"Um, I only have one daughter." She said confused.

"One?" Sam asked just as confused.

"I thought Tyler had a sister named Maggie." I said.

"Maggie's imaginary."

"What… but. I saw her?" I said even more confused as I looked up to Dean and Sam. "Oh… oh no." I said slowly realizing that Maggie is the spirit… and for some reason. I could see her. This can't be good.

"Where's Tyler?" Sam asked frantically.

Susan took off and we all followed as she ran to her room, screaming for Tyler.

"Tyler!" She yelled as we all entered the room, then the play room.

"Oh my god. Tyler." Susan whispered as we all looked around to the broken and tattered dolls. Every single one of them has been destroyed. Susan began searching the other rooms as we all stood there taking in the scene.

"She's not here!" Susan said panicked.

"Susan. Tell us what you know about Maggie." Sam asked her calmly, trying to regain control of the situation.

"Uh, not much. Um, Tyler's been talking about her since Mom got sick."

"Okay, did you ever know anyone by that name?" Dean asked her. Susan shook her head no.

"Think, think, I mean, somebody that could have lived here, might have passed away?" Dean asked.

"Oh my god. My mom. My mom had a sister named Margaret. She barely spoke about her."

"Did Margaret happen to die here when she was a kid?" I asked.

"She drowned in the pool."

"Come on." Dean said as he took off towards the pool. I prayed we would make it in time.

As we finally made it to the glass enclosed pool house Susan began to scream for Tyler again, I could vaguely see two small girls standing on the balcony.

"Tyler!" Susan screamed banging on the door, Tyler turned around to face us, she was terrified.

"Mommy!" She cried.

"Dean, Maggie is next to her, she's gonna push her." I said frantically. But the doors wouldn't budge, suddenly Tyler screamed and her and Maggie both fell.

"Is there another entrance?" Dean quickly asked.

"Around back." He and Susan took off and Me and Sam stayed trying to bust through the glass on the door.

Sam reached over and picked up one of the large urns and launched in through the glass, he couldn't fit through but I could, I climbed in, successfully cutting my arms, and was able to get to the lock, I unlocked it in time for Sam to burst through and throw himself over the balcony into the pool. I looked down to see Tyler struggling to come up, Maggie was pushing her back down.

"Leave her alone!" I yelled. Then Maggie turned to face me.

Before I knew what was happening Maggie was behind me, I turned to face her.

"Why can I see you?" I whispered… not sure what else to say.

"Because He's close to you… He's going to find you."

"Who?! Maggie… tell me who." I demanded.

"The man with the yellow eyes." She said before she disappeared. I looked back over the railing in time to see Sam come up with Tyler in his arms.

Dean and Susan quickly bust through the door in the back and run to meet Sam at the edge of the pool. Tyler begins to cough up the water out of her lungs, I'm relieved. But terrified. He's here… But where? Has he been watching us? Following us? How close is close.

"Thank god! Thank god, thank god." I can hear Susan's cries as she hugs Tyler to her.

"Mommy!" Tyler cried in return.

"Tyler, do you see Maggie anywhere?" Sam asked her.

"No, she's gone."

"Em.. what about you?" Dean called to me.

"No." I answered shakily. "She's gone."

I stayed where I was until Dean made his way back up to me.

"How bad is it?" He asked gesturing to my bloody arm.

"Not bad, I cut it on the glass trying to get in. Just needs a few stitches." I said carefully looking around us. Watching for any sign that he might be here.

"Okay come on kiddo, lets get it over with." He said reaching down and helping me stand.

"Em your shaking… are you seriously that cold?" He asked.

"Yeah.. uh I guess." I said, Dean shrugged off his jacket and laid it over my shoulders. I continued to scan the area around us.

We walked back in and met Sam by the door, we were stitching up my arm when we heard the scream.

"Go! I'll stay with Em!" Sam yelled to Dean, he took off up the stairs.

Rose is dead. Surely at Maggie's hand… but at least Susan and Tyler are safe.

I'm sitting in the impala watching the boys say goodbye to Susan and Tyler… Its not that I don't want to, but I don't feel safe in the open, I want to be behind locked doors, in my home, the only home I've ever really had.

Dean is harassing Sam as they walk back to the impala.

"Think you could have hooked up some MILF action there, bud. I'm serious, I think she liked you." Dean told Sam.

"Yeah, that's all she needs."

"Well, you saved the mom, you saved the girl. Not a bad day. 'Course you know, I could have saved 'em myself, but I didn't want you to feel useless."

"All right, I appreciate it." Sam laughed.

"Feels good getting back in the saddle, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does. But it doesn't change what we talked about last night, Dean."

"We talked about a lot of things last night."

"You know what I mean." Damn… I knew he didn't forget. But I had hope.

"You were wasted."

"But you weren't. And you promised." Sam said as they opened the doors and got in.

I quickly scooted close to Dean and wrapped my arms around one of his. We drove for a few hours before Dean asked… I figured it was coming.

"Em whats up with you kiddo? You've been quiet since we saved Tyler." Dean asked.

"De… he's watching us." I whispered.

"Who?" Sam asked.

"Yellow eyes."

"What? How do you know?" Dean asked shocked, looking around us.

"Maggie… I asked her why I could see her… she said it was because he was close. And that he was going to find me." I whispered again.

"Emily he's not gonna find you… we're gonna find him. We're gonna kill him." Dean said harshly as he tightly wrapped his arm around me.

When I looked up to Sam I could see that it scared him too… he wanted to find the demon too, but I know that like me he's afraid of finding out what's really going on with us.

Finding the demon means getting those answers, whether we're ready to know or not.


	33. Chapter 33

Author's note: Thanks for all the faves/follows/reviews guys! I'm a little torn in what direction to go for the second half of this season but I have some things to play out so we'll see how it all goes! I also included a request from an anonymous reviewer in here! I am always open to more requests, I will be working on a request from Ladysunshine6 soon! Thanks for reading! Love you guys!

"Deeeee…."

Soft snoring was the only reply in the darkness.

"Dean." I said shaking him again.

"Huh.. hmmm.. yea?" He mumbled obviously still half asleep.

"De I think its getting worse." I whined.

Dean sat up and turned on the light as he went for the thermometer on the nightstand.

"Here kiddo." He said handing it to me so I could slide it under my tongue.

He walked over to the window to open the curtains and look outside, its still pretty bright out, must be about 4 or so in the afternoon. Dean has been up with me all night on and off so we were trying to get in a nap while Sam went to interview someone for the case we're working. Sam would have stayed and taken his turn dealing with sick little ol' me but Dean is sorta at the top of the FBI's most wanted list after our little episode at the bank last week with the shape shifter. Now we've got some guy named Hendrickson hunting us down, so Sam is convinced we need to lay low, then on top of all of that I seem to have gotten some kinda of cold, or respiratory infection… but to be honest it feels like the plague.

The thermometer beeped and he turned around and pulled it out of my mouth.

He sighed before looking at me.

"102. I'll call Sam, tell him to get more medicine while he's out." Dean said reaching for his phone, I sat up and tried to clear my throat but it just turned into another coughing fit that made my whole chest ache.

"Make it stop…" I whined.

Yes I know. I'm being a baby. Shoot me… stab me… slice me open and stitch me up! I can handle that shit no problem, but getting sick? It turns me into a whiny tit. I just hate it. The fever and chills, the not sleeping, the fact that no matter what you can't get comfortable. It just makes you feel like death.

Dean hung up the phone and then walked back over to my bed. He had a mug of hot tea and honey in his hands, I leaned against the headboard and pulled the comforter up around me, but Dean quickly pulled it back down.

"Em. You've gotta leave these blankets off. Its just making the fever worse." He said as he sat down next to me and handed me the mug.

"But its so cold."

"No. Its not hun you're just sick. Sam should be back soon okay, but drink that. It'll help."

I took a sip and leaned against Dean. If I couldn't have a blanket I was gonna soak up all the body heat I could from him.

"Why can't you and Sam get sick? Its always me."

"Because Sam and I have kick ass immune systems, you were always the one to get sick. Even when you were little."

"Yeah well that's not fair. I eat the same food, share the same room, breathe the same air, meet the same people. I mean we have the same damn germs. Why me!" I bitched but then the louder I got towards the end the more I got the urge to start the coughing, I coughed and coughed and nothing but pain came from it. It felt like my lungs weighed 30lbs.

"Deep breaths kiddo. It won't last forever." Dean said as he leaned against the headboard, I know he's tired, so I sipped my tea as he slowly dozed off, his arm around my shoulders.

I was almost asleep again myself when Sam came through the door.

"Hey. Okay so I swiped a prescription pad from the psych ward and managed to get you antibiotics instead of just the Nyquil. I'm banking on it being an infection since your symptoms are getting worse and not better after the bottle of Nyquil you've already polished off." He said as he walked in and set the bag on the table opening it up and grabbing me a couple of pills.

"I also got you something for the fever and cough, but its gonna taste like shit." He warned as he walked over to me with cough syrup and the pills.

"So did you get to see the crazy hooker while you were there?" Dean asked. We're working a case where people are killing other people because "something" told them too.

"Yeah I did, here Em." He said as he sat on the foot of the bed and handed me the drugs.

"Sammy these things are huge… I don't think I can actually swallow them, my throat feels like its on fire already."

He rolled his eyes and took them back from me, breaking them into three pieces each before handing them back.

"Thank you Sammy." I smiled, he smiled back and turned to face Dean as I swallowed them one at a time followed by the horrid tasting cough syrup.

"Gloria Sitnick. And I'm not so sure she's crazy."

"But she seriously believes that she was ... touched by an angel?" Dean questioned unbelievably.

"Yeah. Blinding light, feelings of spiritual ecstasy, the works. I mean, she's living in a locked ward and she's totally at peace."

"Oh yeah, you're right, sounds completely sane. What about the dude she stabbed?" Dean asked rolling his eyes and standing up to stretch his legs. I tried to sneakily slip back under the warm comforter but it was Sam who pulled it back off this time, not even breaking the conversation he and Dean were having.

"Uh, Carl Gully. She said she killed him because he was evil." Sam explained after giving me a warning glare about the blanket.

"Was he?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I mean, I couldn't find any dirt on him. I mean, he didn't have a criminal record, he worked at the campus library, had lots of friends. He was a churchgoer."

"Hm. So then Gloria's just your standard-issue wacko. I mean, she wouldn't be the first nutjob in history to kill in the name of religion. Know what I mean?"

"No, but she's the second in town to murder because an angel told them to. Little bit odd, don't ya think?"

"Well, little odd yes, supernatural maybe. But angels? I don't think so." Dean said sitting at the table, Sam stayed on the foot of my bed but turned to face Dean… I used this opportunity to again try and sneak the blanket over my body, but without even turning around Sam reached back and pulled it off of me again, this time Dean sent me the glare.

"Ughhh… You two are cruel and unusual." I whined.

"Why not?" Sam asked Dean.

"Cuz there's no such thing, Sam." Dean said as if it was common sense.

"Dean, there's ten times as much lore about angels as there is about anything else we've ever hunted." Sam reminded him.

"Yeah, you know what? There's a ton of lore on unicorns too. In fact, I hear that they, they ride on silver moonbeams, and they shoot rainbows out of their ass." I had to giggle at that. He shot me a wink.

"Wait, there's no such thing as unicorns?" Sam said deadpan, earning a full on laugh from my weak body, but it unfortunately also just led to another coughing fit.

"Great. Now look what you did... I'm just saying, man, there's just some legends that you just, you file under "bullcrap"." Dean said as Sam came to sit beside me and rub my back until the coughing ceased.

"And you've got angels on the bullcrap list." Sam asked incredulously.

"Yep." Dean answered sure of himself.

"Why?" I asked, which seemed to catch Dean off guard.

"Because I've never seen one."

"So what?"

"So I believe in what I can see."

"Dean! We have seen things that most people couldn't even dream about." Sam said.

"Exactly. With our own eyes. That's hard proof, okay? But in all this time I have never seen anything that looks like an angel. And don't you think that if they existed that we would have crossed paths with them? Or at least know someone that crossed paths with them? No. This is a, a demon or a spirit. You know, they find people a few fries short of a happy meal, and they trick them into killing these randoms."

"Maybe." Sam said obviously a little disappointed in Dean's words.

"Can we just — I'm going stir-crazy man. Hey, let's go by Gloria's apartment, huh?" Dean said rolling his eyes. I knew I was keeping him cooped up, well me and the fact that he's on the FBI's most wanted list.

"I was just there. Nothing. No sulfur, no EMF ..." Sam explained.

"You didn't see any fluffy white wing feathers?" Dean asked, Sam just sighed ignoring the question before speaking. "But Gloria did say the angel gave her a sign, right beside Carl Gully's doorway."

"Could be something at his house; it's worth checking out." Dean said hopeful.

"Yeah okay… I'll go check it out." Sam said standing.

"No! No… You stay. Watch sicky there and I will HAPPILY go check it out." Dean said jumping up and putting on his jacket.

Sam laughed and shook his head as Dean walked out the door, then he turned back to me.

"Well Em. Want some soup? I bought chicken and stars?" He said with eyebrows raised. I smiled and nodded.

"Hey Sammy… what does Dean have against angels?" I asked.

"I don't know Em. It never really came up before this case, so I didn't know he did till now."

"For what its worth… I think it could be angels."

"Me too Em… who know's maybe we'll teach that old man he doesn't know it all." Sam said with a grin making me chuckle, but then cough.

"Oh I'm sorry Kiddo…" Sam said sitting down beside me, I laid over with a pillow in his lap so that he could untangle my hair with his hands.

"Sammyyyyy. How long till it goes away?"

"I don't know Em… hopefully a couple of days on the antibiotics and the infection should start clearing up, you've got to stay out of all these blankets or your fever is just gonna keep getting worse."

"But its so cold. I just want to be warm and be able to breathe again. My nose is stuffy, my chest is heavy, my throat hurts."

"Geez… I almost forgot how whiny you get when you're sick." Sam said rolling his eyes. I lightly punched him in the stomach and he laughed at me.

"You're supposed to be the nice one." I mumbled.

"Yeah yeah… try and get some sleep kiddo. I think Dean's gonna be gone for a while."

"Mmmk." I mumbled already dozing off, because I always do he plays with my hair, and he knows it.

Even when I'm sick my mind wanders to Luke.

When I open my eyes I feel warm, like I'm laying in the sun. The deep breath I take in smells like flowers. Then… he's there. Holding my hand. Kissing my lips. My Luke.

"I can't be here." I say breaking away from him.

"No… stay here." He says leaning in for another long kiss. I don't resist him. Instead I pull myself closer, running my hand through his long hair, his hands wind themselves down the sides of my body, stopping at my hips, then moving back to cup under the curve of my ass.

"I'll find you." A whisper from somewhere behind us says, Luke doesn't hear it, but I do, and I slowly pull away from him. My eyes searching around us.

"I see you." The voice whispers again.

"Luke… Luke no. We have to go." I say with urgency pushing him off of me.

"Emily stay… stay with me." He asks calmly, as if the voice doesn't exist. He can't hear it. He doesn't know what danger surrounds him when he's with me.

"I can't." I breathe heavily.

"They're coming, please… we have to go." I beg him trying to stand and pull him up with me, but instead he smiles at me calmly and squeezes my hand.

"Stay with me Emily." He says again.

"I'm getting closer to you." The voice whispered again, and I realize I've heard it before. Yellow Eyes.

"I can't." I cried to Luke.

I pull away from his grasp and began to run.

"Emily!" he calls after me, but I don't stop.

As I run my chest tightens, it feels heavy and painful. I begin to slow down, trying to catch my breath, but I can't. I can't get enough air in. It hurts. I begin to cough violently.

The coughing continues and suddenly there are other voices around me, hands on me.

"Emily… Em calm down. It's okay… It'll stop." Sam coos, rubbing my back and squeezing my shoulders.

I gasp for air when I finally get a break between coughing and when I open my eyes I'm back in the motel. Its dark… Its late. Sam flips on the lamp and I can see Dean waking up in the bed next to us.

"She okay?" He asked.

"Yeah man… she'll be okay, she's just gotta catch her breath." Sam answered for me since I was still letting out the last couple of coughs.

"What time is it?" I managed to ask past the hoarseness in my throat.

"3 am." Dean answered laying back down.

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Its not your fault sweetheart." Dean said as he closed his eyes. "Just try and relax, drink some tea and go back to sleep."

Sam brought me over the warm tea and the thermometer.

"Temp first, then you can have the tea." Sam said as he handed it to me and I slid it under my tongue. We waited for the beep.

"100.4 Well… at least its coming down." Sam said as he handed me the tea.

"So did Dean find anything at the guy's house?" I whispered as Sam laid back down on the bed.

"Yeah. Bones… guy must have gotten away with several murders. Would have kept on getting away with it."

"So does Dean buy our angels theory yet?"

"No. He doesn't… but. There's still a lot left to figure out. Get some sleep Em." He said as I curled back up against him, my head elevated on a couple of pillows against his chest.

"Hey Em…" Sam whispered a few minutes later.

"Yeah?"

"…Was it Luke again?"

I stayed silent, not sure whether or not to answer him.

"Maybe you should call him." Sam said taking me by surprise. Again. I didn't answer him. We both slowly drifted to sleep.

When I woke up again it was bright, someone was shaking my shoulder gently.

"Em wake up."

"Hmmmmm." I groaned as Sam shook my shoulders again.

"Wake up kiddo, gotta take some more medicine."

I sleepily sat up and leaned against the headboard, I wiped my eyes before taking the broken up pills and cough syrup from him, got them down, and then he offered me a mug of the chicken and stars soup.

"Soup for breakfast?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah well I figure it's the only thing that really sounds appetizing at the moment." He said laughing.

"Nothing sounds appetizing… but soup is doable. Thank you Sammy."

"No problem. Feeling any better?"

"Not really."

"Well you just got round two of antibiotics, should be better by this afternoon kiddo." He said hopeful.

"Where's Dean?" I asked looking around and realizing he wasn't there.

"He ran to get some food, real food."

"Oh."

"He'll be back soon. In the meantime, we can finish the conversation you were avoiding last night." He said giving me a pointed stare.

I looked down to the bowl in my hands, not wanting to make eye contact.

"Emily why do you not want us to know? We've paid attention the last couple of weeks. We know your still dreaming about him, and I know you've been spooked ever since we left Connecticut about yellow eyes being around. I promise you Em he's not here, he's not even close to us."

"Then why would Maggie know who he is Sam? How did a random ass spirit know he was there, and that he was looking for me, for us. Please explain that."

"I don't know Em, some spirits can get into your head, maybe she knew you were worried about a man with yellow eyes and just lied."

"Sam we have no idea where he is, which means he could be on our tail, he could be watching us."

"Okay you know what I'm getting off this topic… back to Luke. Maybe you should call him."

"Call who?" Dean said as he opened the door.

"No one." I said the same time Sam said "Luke."

Dean looked at Sam like he was insane.

"Why the hell would she wanna do that?"

"Because something's bothering her and she needs to figure it out."

"Okay well she can do that without calling him, just let her figure it out on her own, stop butting in." Dean said as he sat the food down on the table and began to eat his donuts."

"Dean she needs to figure this out WITH him. Or its gonna bug her forever." Sam argued.

"No. No way. She's just gonna get all caught up in this again and be heartbroken when it doesn't end the way she wants it to… AGAIN! I'm not gonna let her do that to herself."

"Could you two not talk about me like I'm not here? I'm sick not dead." I said catching an eye roll from both of them.

"Well someone's feeling better cause she's got her bitchy pants on." Dean said.

"I'm not bitchy I'm just saying. This doesn't have anything to do with either of you, so stop arguing about it and work your damn case, I will decide if I wanna call him or not. And whether I do, or I don't, neither of you can say shit. Got it?"

"Yeah definitely wearing the bitchy pants today." Dean grumbled as Sam nodded in agreeance with him.

"Oh whatever. I'm going to take a shower." I said getting out of bed for the first time in over a day. I guess I am feeling a little better, or maybe I'm just that desperate to get away from this conversation. Either way. I'm leaving this room.

The truth is, I've been arguing with myself for days about whether or not to reach out to him. I've opened that phone and typed a message over a dozen times, but I can never hit send. I just can't decide if opening pandora's box all over again would be worth it… for me or him. I don't wanna hurt him again. I don't wanna leave him again. It was hard enough the first time.

I got in the shower and the hot water warmed me quickly. It felt nice. I know with the fever and all I should probably turn it down, but it's so warm. The steam from the shower also helped make it easier to breathe and for that I was even more persuaded to stand under the hot water till it turned luke warm. I got out, changed into some comfy clothes and walked out with a towel around my head to stop me from getting too much of a chill with my wet hair.

"Did you leave any for the rest of us?" Dean asked as I sat down across from him.

"No. But I do feel better if it counts for anything."

"Well I'm glad to hear that, we need to know if your fever broke though." He said handing me the thermometer.

We waited for the beep and this time I was the one who read it.

"98.9 I'd consider that broke right?"

"Yeah, but you should still do at least another does or two of the cough medicine, or it could spike again." Sam said.

"Fine. I'll take another one this afternoon, so what's today's plan?"

"Well there was another murder last night, we are gonna go scope the place out, think you wanna ride around or would you rather stay in bed another day?" Dean asked me.

"I'll ride, it'd be nice to get out. Just promise you'll bring me back if I change my mind."

"Sure thing kiddo." Sam said as he tugged on the towel wrapped around my head before walking away.

"De." I said softly as Sam entered the bathroom.

"Yeah?"

"You really think I should just leave all this alone? I mean. Maybe I'm having the dreams for a reason.."

"Emily. All I know is it tore you up to be in that situation in the first place, and now you wanna go and do it again?"

"No. I don't. But I don't wanna keep having these dreams every night either. I hate them Dean. Every night it's the same thing. Everything I want is dangled in front of me, and then its ripped away. Over, and over again."

"Everything you want huh?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"You know what I mean Dean… I liked him. A lot."

"I know you did, which is why I think you're gonna get hurt again. And that's the last thing I wanna see."

"Well then what should I do."

"I don't know kiddo… I'll let you make your own decision here. I won't push one way or the other. I'll be here if you need anything."

"Thanks Dean."

"No problem, get some clothes on, I'm not taking you out in public like that."

"What's wrong with this?" I asked looking down at my plaid pj pants and the oversized Standford sweater I stole from Sam.

"You look homeless."

"Um! Excuse you, I do not, but fine. I will." I said digging for some sweats and a long sleeve ACDC tshirt, then I topped it off with my knock off ugg boots.

"Better?" I asked when he came out of the bathroom.

"Much. Gotta love the classics." He said with a wink before I followed him out to the impala, Sam close behind me.

When we pulled up to the vic's house we noticed the yellow tape all over the front porch, and the few neighbors outside down the road.

"Well. Looks like we're going in the back." Dean said pointing to the tall fence they would undoubtedly have to climb to get inside.

"I wanna go." I said from the backseat.

"Em, I don't want you to push it, just ride this one out and let us jump the fences for today." Dean said. I rolled my eyes and laid back in the seat, singing along quietly to the radio, and terribly out of tune due to my raspy voice and still stuffy nose.

It probably wasn't even 30 minutes later when I heard the thud of boots as they landed back on this side of the fence. I continued to softly hum and sing to the Aerosmith song as they boys got in and started the car.

"Find anything?" I asked.

"Yeah. Looks like the vics all went to the same Church, feel like confessing your sins?" Dean said with a wink.

"Oh please… out of the three of us in this car my list is probably the shortest." I scoffed.

"Um, I'm sorry… are you forgetting who is in the front seat? I'm more well behaved than the both of you put together on any given day." Sam said smugly.

"Okay mister goody two shoes, you can say the prayer over dinner tonight then." I snarked back.

"Geez… Dean wasn't kidding about the bitchy pants." Sam mumbled.

"Oh will you two shut up! There is nothing bitchy in on or about my pants. You two are just annoying today."

"Surrrrre." Dean said a little too quickly. I rolled my eyes and went back to humming and softly singing so that I didn't sound too out of tune.

We were only a few minutes down the road before Sam spoke up again.

"Hey Em."

"Sam. If you've got anything else to say about my pants I'm gonna strangle you-"

"No, no that's not what I was gonna say." He chuckled. "How come… how come you never wanna do shows anymore? I mean you've had an opportunity the last few towns we were in and you shot every one of them down."

"I don't know Sam… just. Been busy. We've kinda had a lot on our plate."

"Yeah but that doesn't mean you can't take a couple of hours off, I mean the last time you sang was when Da-"

"Okay Sam, I get it okay. When I don't sound like someone shoved sand paper down my throat I'll do a show. Anything else you wanna talk about?" I snapped. I didn't mean to. But I did.

"No." He said quietly, obviously kind of hurt at my lashing out.

"I'm sorry… Sam. I just. I don't know. I'm tired. Just drop me off after we get done at the church. I think the fever is coming back, I just wanna sleep this off."

"Okay." He said shortly. The pull of guilt wondered around in my stomach. I guess I knew eventually one of them would bring it up. I haven't set foot on or near a stage since Dad died… since the last time when Daddy was there. The only time when daddy was there. I mean. If I'm being honest I really did feel too busy since Dad's death to worry about something so unimportant. Then there was the whole Luke thing, and then the whole might have to kill me and Sam thing, and I don't know. I just. Never seemed to really want to do one anymore.

When I looked back up Dean's eyes were aimed at me through the rear view mirror. Great. That's a conversation we'll be having later.

We pulled up to a stone church… no different from the several others across the country. Nothing special. Just an old building in the middle of downtown, I followed my brothers inside.

We let Dean take lead and approach the priest first as Sam and I slowly followed behind, allowing Dean to come up with our story. I looked to Sam who still looked a bit stung by my harsh words. I know he was just trying to be nice, I know he's just worried, and dammit I hate seeing those mopey ass puppy dog eyes. They're enough to make the devil himself feel bad.

I reached out and bumped him with my elbow. He turned and looked down to me confused.

"I hate that look." I said quietly so only he could hear me.

"What look?" He asked.

"The one that makes me feel like I just ran over your cat… I'm sorry Sam. I didn't mean to snap. I just. Don't feel good and I got a lot on my mind and that's not something I wanna add to the plate of Winchester drama for now."

"Okay… but eventually. You gotta cross that bridge. You loved it too much to just walk away from it." He said with a sad smile.

"Yeah… I just don't know if I can deal with it on top of everything else. I'd rather tackle this whole Luke thing, and I'd really love to tackle this whole yellow eyes thing as well."

"Yeah. I know kiddo… so, you gonna call him?"

"If only you knew how many times I've opened that phone, and not been able to go through with it." I mumbled looking straight ahead. Instead of replying he draped his long arm over my shoulder and walked us towards Dean.

"So you're interested in joining the parish?" We heard him ask Dean as we entered the conversation.

"Yeah, well, you know, we just don't feel right unless we hit church every Sunday." Dean lied.

"Where'd you say you lived before?" The Father asked.

"Uh ..." Dean mumbled.

"Fremont, Texas." I quickly said.

"Yeah." Sam agreed with a friendly smile.

"Really? That's a nice town. St. Teresa's parish, you must know the priest there."

"Sure, yeah, no it's uh, Father O'Malley." Dean said with a chuckle.

"Hmm, I know a Father Shaughnessy." The Father said confused.

"Shaughnessy, exactly. What'd I say?" Dean said poorly covering his ass.

"You know, we're just happy to be here now, Father." Sam said saving the same ass he was failing to cover.

"And we're happy to have you, we could use some young blood around here."

"Hey, listen, I gotta ask — no offense, but uh, the neighborhood?" Dean asked, I guess It did look a little rough. But rough neighborhoods don't really scare you all that much when you face Demons.

"Well, it's gone to seed a little, there's no denying that, but that's why what the church does here is so important. Like I always say, you can expect a miracle, but in the meantime you work your butt off."

"Huh. Yeah, we heard about the murders."

"Yes. The victims were parishioners of mine, I'd known them for years."

"And the killers said that an angel made them do that?" Sam cut in and ask.

"Yes. Misguided souls, to think that God's messenger would appear and incite people to murder. It's tragic."

"So you don't believe in those angel yarns, huh?" Dean cut in while glaring at Sam.

"Oh, no, I absolutely believe. Kind of goes with the job description." The Father quickly explained.

"Father, that's Michael, right?" I asked pointing to one of the paintings on the wall.

"That's right. The archangel Michael, with the flaming sword. The fighter of demons. Holy force against evil."

"So they're not really the Hallmark card version that everybody thinks? They're fierce, right? Vigilant?" I asked.

"Well, I like to think of them as more loving than wrathful. But, uh, yes, a lot of Scripture paints angels as God's warriors. "An angel of the Lord appeared to them, the glory of the Lord shone down upon them, and they were terrified."… its Luke 2:9" He explained when we all looked confused.

"Well, thank you for speaking with us, Father." Sam said as we all walked back outside onto the steps.

"Oh, it' s my pleasure. Hope to see you again." He said, as we walked I noticed a collection of flowers, balloons, and candles, I nudged Dean and nodded to it, he turned back to the Father.

"Hey, Father, what's, what is all that for?" Dean asked.

"Oh, that's for Father Gregory. He was a priest here." The Father said sadly.

"Was?" I asked between sniffles, the cold weather further irritating my illness.

"He passed away right on these steps. He's interred in the church crypt."

"When did this happen?" Dean asked.

"Two months ago. He was shot for his car keys."

"I'm sorry." Sam said sincerely.

"Yeah, me too. He was a good friend. I didn't even have time to administer his last rites. But like I said, it's a tough neighborhood. Ever since he died I've been praying my heart out."

"For what?" Sam asked.

"For deliverance. From the violence and the bloodshed around here. We could use a little divine intervention, I s'pose."

"Well, Padre, thanks. We'll see you again." Dean said as he placed a hand on the small of my back and led me to the car.

"Well, it's all starting to make sense. Devoted priest dies a violent death? That's vengeful spirit material right there. And he knew all the other stiffs, because they went to church here, in fact I'm willing to bet that because he was their priest, he knew things about them that nobody else knew." Dean said as we got into the car.

"Then again, Father Reynolds started praying for God's help about two months ago, right? Right about the time all this started happening?"

"Aw, come on, man, what's your deal?"

"What do you mean?"

Great. Here comes another argument.

"Look, I'll admit I'm a bit of a skeptic, but since when are you all Mr., uh, 700 Club? No, seriously. From the git-go you've been willing to buy this angel crap, man. I mean, what's next, are you going to start praying every day? I mean come on, even Em doesn't buy into this shit right Em?"

"Well…" I was starting to say but was cut off.

"I do." Sam said confidently.

"What?" Dean asked confused.

"I do pray every day. I have for a long time."

"The things you learn about a guy. Huh. Well, come on, let's go check out Father Gregory's grave."

"Take me back to the room first please…" I mumbled. Feeling myself getting tired.

"Okay kiddo, you got it." Dean said as he pulled out onto the road.

I opted to sit up front this time and leaned against Sam as we drove, his arm moved around me and his wrist landed against my forehead.

"You are feeling pretty warm again Em, make sure you take some of that medicine when you get there."

"Okay." I mumbled.

I could feel my nose get slightly itchy, and I leaned forward as I felt a sneeze work its way up.

"Ah.. ah.. ah.. ah-chooo!" My sneeze came out more like the squeak of a mouse at the end. I groaned feeling the pressure in my head cause it to ache.

Then there was laughter beside me.

I looked up and saw Dean laughing, trying not to let me notice.

"What's so funny." I asked flatly.

Then I turned to see Sam stifle a giggle.

"I asked a question." I snapped.

"I'm sorry kiddo, its just… that has got to be the cutest little sappy girly sneeze I've ever heard."

"Yeah well I'm not a cute little sappy girl so fuck you."

"Oh come on!" Dean said laughing even more at the fact that I was offended. I turned to look at Sam, he was staring out the window in attempt not to make eye contact with me.

"Fuck you both." I mumbled as I crawled into the backseat.

"Emily… don't get all butt hurt." Dean said as he pulled into the motel. I slid out of the backseat and flipped them the bird as I walked to the door.

"We'll be back in an hour! Take your medicine!" Sam hollered as they pulled away and I went through the doorway.

I walked in, took my medicine, changed back into the oversized Stanford sweater and shorts and curled up in the bed. Then I reached for the phone, opened it, and clicked on his name. Then I slowly moved my thumb towards the small envelope under his name.

The white empty box stared back at me for several minutes. I figured if I'm gonna do it… might as well get it over with.

I slowly typed the words: Hey stranger.

Then I hovered over the send button. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and on the exhale I pushed it. Then I INSTANTLY regretted it.

Why did I do this? I knew I wouldn't be able to take it back! He probably forgot all about me by now… and if he didn't he probably hates me for ditching him! I would! Dean was right… I should have just left this alone and found another way around the damn nightmares. Ughhh. I was continuing my self loathing but the sound of chimes coming from beside me stopped every thought in my head. I slowly reached down and picked up the phone with the brightly lit screen that read "New Message" and opened it.

Luke: Who is this?

Well… now's my chance. I could just tell him it's the wrong number, hell maybe this isn't even Lukes number anymore… wait. No. It must be or they would have told me I had the wrong number. Shit. Oh well… if your gonna do something go big or go home.

Me: It's… Emily.

Hitting the send button the second time was slightly easier than it was the first time, but it still made my heart rate quicken. I sat and stared at the phone until it lit up again.

Luke: Emily? Emily Winchester?

He remembers me. For some reason it made me wanna smile, but then I remembered that his feelings may not be kind ones, and my smile fell before it even had the chance to fully meet each side of my face.

Me: Yep. That's me.

Luke: What do you want?

Ouch. Well. I guess that answers my question as to whether or not he hates me. But then suddenly it buzzed in my hand again.

Luke: I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come off like it probably did. I'm just. A little… shocked?

Me: Its okay if you did mean it like that. I kinda deserve it. Luke. I'm sorry.

Luke: Emily… are you okay? I mean. You disappeared. Months of radio silence and now all of a sudden you feel the need to strike up a conversation. Is something wrong?

My heart fluttered. Here is this amazing guy, whose heart I probably ripped out before I disappeared for months on end. And now that I've opened up pandora's box he's not even mad… he's worried about me. I could never deserve someone as good as him. What the hell have I done…

Me: I don't know anymore.

I answered him honestly… because I truly don't know.

Luke: … I missed you.

My heart felt like it grew three times its size.

Me: I still miss you.

Luke: Emily, what's wrong?

Me: Its just been a really hard past few months, and I keep having these dreams. You're there. And I don't know what's going on in my head these days. I'm sorry… I don't know why I texted you. I just. Didn't know what else to do.

Just as I hit the send button I heard the door open and didn't even bother to sit up as the boots made their way into the room.

"So. What's the update?" I asked.

"We're gonna have to wait and go back when the church is clear. We tried to wait out the Father but I don't think he's going anywhere anytime soon, and we gotta get into that crypt." Dean explained.

Then my phone buzzed and chimed, causing both of my brothers to turn and look at me.

"Is that… who I think it is?" Sam asked cautiously.

I took a deep breath and met eyes with him.

"Yeah. It is."

"Oh." Was all he said in return, I looked over to Dean. He was watching me carefully. He knew I could be a hard ass, but he also knew when it came to certain things, I could break a little easier than even I want to admit. This was one of those things.

I opened the phone.

Luke: Well. you could start with what the hell happened prom night? Pete said you saved his life. He was drunk off his ass, but I still know something weird happened.

Me: I wish I could… but I can't. It would just be more trouble than you know.

Luke: Is that why you left? Because you thought you would get me in trouble?

Me: Something along those lines. I really am sorry Luke.

Luke: You can't tell me anything? I mean come on. I need something to work with here. I thought you left because of Tiffany… and me.

Me: No, that's not it. I can handle Tiffany, and leaving you sucked. It was horrible. I just. I didn't fit in there. I really wish I could explain to you more. But I can't. I'm sorry.

Luke: Then where is this conversation even going?

I don't know… I don't know what I expected. But I think that's enough for one night. I shut the phone and put it on the bedside table. Then I sighed as I laid back into the pillows.

Dean walked over and put the back of his hand against my forehead.

"Feeling better kiddo?"

"Sorta… my throat still hurts, my lungs are still cruddy."

"Well I think you broke the fever… why don't you get some sleep. Sit this one out."

"No. I need to be there."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because If I'm not there then you'll be mean to Sammy about this whole angel thing."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Not you too…" he mumbled.

"Dean. I don't understand, what do you have against angels? I think Sammy could be right on this one. Even if he's not, let him find it out on his own. Quit shooting him down."

"I don't have anything against angels because they don't exist."

"I don't know De. Is it really that far of a stretch? I mean there are demons. If demons exist then why wouldn't angels?"

"Then why haven't we seen them? Huh?"

"When was the last time we saw any supernatural being that wasn't evil? All we hunt is evil… we don't go out in search of things that are good. So I wouldn't expect us to run into one. But this… this could be it. Dean, you and I both know that stranger things have happened."

"Yeah. I guess." He gave up with that and stood.

"So… Luke." He said as he reached down pulled the blankets around me.

"Yeah. Lets just discuss that later… please."

"Okay… are we going to discuss you not singing later too?"

I stayed silent.

"I'll take that as a yes… get some sleep kiddo. We WILL be discussing this stuff later."

"Sir yes sir." I mocked.

He kissed my head and walked towards the door, Sammy following behind him.

"No more blankets Em!" Sam hollered as he walked past me. What a worry wort.

I slowly fell asleep. For the first time I don't know how long, I woke up with a grin upon hearing my brothers trample back through the door. No dreams. NONE!

But then I realized they were bickering.

"You saw it, didn't you? Didn't you?" Dean demanded as they came through the door.

"Yeah. Yeah. Dean, I saw an angel." Sam said slightly shocked.

"Wait, you saw one?!" I said sitting straight up on the bed.

"All right. Here." Dean said handing him a flask.

"I don't want a drink."

"So. What makes you think you saw a, uh, angel?" Dean asked suspiciously.

"It just, it appeared before me and I just, this feeling washed over me, you know? Like, like peace. Like grace." He explained with a smile, I smiled back at him. I really want this to be an angel.

"Okay, Ecstasy Boy, maybe we'll get you some glowsticks and a nice Dr. Seuss hat, huh?"

"Dean don't be such an ass." I growled, then I coughed. Ughhhh.

"Dean, I'm serious. It spoke to me, it knew who I was." Sam said.

"It's just a spirit, Sam. Okay? And it's not the first one to be able to read people's minds. Okay, let me guess. You were personally chosen to smite some sinner. You've just got to wait for some divine bat signal, is that it?"

"Yeah, actually." Sam admitted.

"Great. I don't suppose you asked what this alleged bad guy did?"

"Actually I did, Dean. And the angel told me. He hasn't done anything. Yet. But he will."

"Oh, this is, this is… I don't believe this." Dean said pacing across the room.

"Dean, the angel hasn't been wrong yet! Someone's going to do something awful, and I can stop it!"

"You know, you're supposed to be bad too, maybe, maybe I should just stop you right now."

"Dean! That is enough!" I yelled making the point that he's gone too far. That's not fair to bring up and he knows it. He looked at me and I shot him a glare, then Sam continued.

"You know what, Dean? I don't understand! Why can't you even consider the possibility?"

"What, that this is an angel?" Dean asked incredulously.

"Yes! Maybe we're hunting an angel here, and we should stop! Maybe this is God's will!" Sam argued passionately, also standing now.

"Okay, all right. You know what? I get it. You've got faith. That's — hey, good for you. I'm sure it makes things easier… I'll tell you who else had faith like that — Mom. She used to tell me when she tucked me in that angels were watching over us. In fact, that was the last thing she ever said to me."

Oh. Now… now it all makes a little more sense. The room got still.

"You never told me that." Sam said quietly. He didn't ever tell me either.

"Well, what's to tell? She was wrong. There was nothing protecting her. There's no higher power, there's no God. I mean, there's just chaos, and violence, and random unpredictable evil that, that comes out of nowhere, and rips you to shreds. You want me to believe in this stuff? I'm going to need to see some hard proof. You got any?" Dean said suddenly.

It hurt my heart to hear him say the words, but now it all made sense. His whole life, why he never bought into it like Sam and I did.

Sam shook his head back and forth and lowered his eyes.

"Well, I do. Proof that we're dealing with a spirit." Dean said sure of himself.

"Okay… why don't we go to bed, and pick this up tomorrow." I suggested realizing it was still only 3 in the morning.

"We'll have to wait till night again, the Father will be there all day tomorrow and my proof is back in the crypt." Dean said.

"That's fine. Tomorrow we'll all go, okay? Lets just… sleep on this. Please."

He and Sam both shook their head and Dean went to the bathroom. I turned and looked at Sam sitting on the bed across from mine, taking off his shoes.

"Sammy… for what its worth. I believe you. But, we also need to hear Dean's point… just incase." I said cautiously.

"I know kiddo… I know." He said, then he sighed and laid down, turing off the lights.

Dean made his way over to the bed shortly after that, I scooted over and pull the sheet with me.

"Dean… why didn't you ever tell me that Mom believed?" I whispered after I could hear Sam softly snoring.

"Because… she was wrong." He said solemnly.

"But what if she's not?" I asked, this caused him to turn and face me.

"Then whoever or whatever the hell is up there… just let her die. Watched and did nothing, and I don't want anything to do with them even if they did exist."

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have asked." I said looking down.

"No… its fine. I just. Sam already has his hopes up, and its gonna break his heart when this falls through, and I don't want to have to pick you both back up when this one's over. Just please. Give me the chance to be the voice of reason on this one."

"Dean Winchester the voice of reason?" I asked with eyebrows raised. "Now that's a scary world to live in." I joked.

He laughed and so did I.

"Okay… your turn. Luke. Start talking." He said.

"Well… I didn't have any dreams tonight." I said happily.

"Well that's good… so what did you say to him?"

"Just hi… and. That I was sorry. And I mighta kinda sorta told him that I miss him." I admitted. Dean let out a deep sigh.

"And he said?"

"He wanted answers. He was worried about me, and then he said that he missed me too."

"Well you can't blame him for wanting answers kiddo, we did kinda up and leave outta nowhere as far as he knew."

"I know that Dean… but what the hell am I supposed to tell him? That being around me puts his life in danger? That I hunt monsters and sometimes they kill people to get to me? That I might be evil and demon is searching for me?" I rambled.

"Whoa whoa whoa… slow your roll kiddo. First of all, you're not evil. We've covered that. And we don't know if the demon is searching for us or not, lastly… You don't owe him anything you don't want to. But you can't call him up out of the blue after months and expect him NOT to want some answers. Its just a matter of what you're willing to tell him, and what you want out of this."

"I don't know what I want Dean…"

"Well then take some time to think about it, don't pressure yourself. There's no need to rush it, if he's half the guy I think he is then he'll wait till you're ready to tell him what's on your mind."

"…I just kinda left the conversation hanging for now. Not really sure what to say next."

"You're a smart kid Em. You'll figure it out. I promise." Dean said as he tucked some hair behind my ear and then I slowly fell into another blissful dreamless sleep.

The coughing woke us all up again, but it wasn't until another 5 hours, which is pretty much a full nights sleep.

"Here." Dean mumbled as he walked over with more pills, and tea. I'm so sick of this damn tea.

"Thanks" I said with a raspy voice.

"Well, I still don't feel a fever, you're on the rise Em, give it a few more days on the medicine and it should stop." Sam said sitting down at the table with Dean and I.

"Ughhhh." I groaned. "Can I at least have something other than hot tea to drink?"

"Yeah kiddo, I'll get you a water." Sam said laughing at me.

I sniffed really big, but that only caused the tickling sensation in my nose to come back. Oh no…

"Ahh..ah..ah. Achoo!" The highpitched squeak made its way out of my mouth once again. I immediately shot my eyes up to Dean.

"Don't. Say it." I warned.

He used the newspaper he was reading to hide behind, but I could still see it shaking with his laughter.

"I can see the entire paper shaking, you're not hiding it asshole." I said throwing a wadded up napkin at him.

We spent the morning in the room, figuring out the best way to get back in the crypt tonight, I attempted real food, and even though I couldn't really taste it I could still appreciate the crispy bacon.

We were all curled up on one of the beds watching some lame cop show when my phone chimed from the other side of the bed. All three of us turned to look at it, then the boys both turned to me.

"Well, are you gonna stare at me all day or are you gonna hand me the damn phone?" I asked.

Sam picked it up and handed it to me. Peeking at it since I Sat next to him with Dean layed out across the foot of the bed, but instead of watching the TV he was now watching me, I rolled my eyes at both my nosy brothers, then I opened it.

Luke: So I didn't mean to end our conversation last night, it was nice talking to you again.

I sighed, thinking of what to say back. I looked up and they were both still staring at me.

"Well either tell me what the hell to say back to him or turn around and watch your damn show."

They both quickly turned back to the TV. Nice. Real helpful guys.

Me: Sorry, I fell asleep.

Luke: Its okay. So how'd you sleep. Dream of me? ;)

I giggled at his winky face.

Me: Ha. For the first time in weeks no actually. Sorry if that makes me sound like a creepy stalker.

Luke: I don't mind, I dreamt about you too for a while after you left. So I guess we're both creepy stalkers.

Me: Lol, sounds about right. So how is everything?

Luke: Its good, the football team sucks this year, lost all our good senior offense players so we're trying to make up for it on defense.

Me: Well if football falls through at least you've still got your good looks to get you through life. ;)

Luke: Yeah. Right.. Lol. What's been going on with you lately?

I sighed. Causing both brothers to look at me again.

"Oh would you two stop it! I'm going for a walk." I said getting up and walking out the door.

Me: Not much. You know, just on the road with my brothers.

Luke: Tell em I said hey. What do you guys do anyways? You just said they travel for work.

Well you see we hunt monsters, ghosts, and demons. I get kidnapped sometimes, we have scar competitions when we get injured, and every now and then we almost die.

Me: Its kinda complicated.

Luke: A lot about your life is complicated isn't it.

Me: You have no idea.

Luke: I wish you would tell me…

Me: I'm afraid I'd scare you off for good… not sure I'm ready to lose you a second time.

Luke: I'm not going anywhere Emily. I'm here for you.

Me: Luke. It's a lot. Its not something I want to dump on someone. I don't want you near it. I don't wanna put you in danger.

Luke: Danger? What do you mean put me in danger? Emily are you okay? Be honest with me this time.

Me: For the moment. Yes.

Okay… too much. I need to figure this out before I say anything else.

Me: I gotta go. Talk to you soon.

I walked back into the room. The boys were waiting obviously.

"Okay. Can we go now? I don't wanna sit around anymore. I need to do something else."

"Went that well huh?" Dean asked.

"I just… he wants answers that I can't give him! I don't why I even did this."

"I'm sorry kiddo. I guess we could head to the church and try to get around the Father."

"Sounds like a plan. Lets go."

We got to the church and snuck our way into the crypt, which was surprisingly easy. The Father was preoccupied obviously. We walked in and something caught my eye, it obviously caught Sam's too.

"That looks like—" Sam started.

"It's wormwood." Dean interrupted. "Plant associated with the dead; specifically the ones that are not at rest. I don't see it growing anywhere else, except over the murdered priest's marker. It's him, Sam."

"Maybe." Sam said unconvinved.

"Maybe?" Dean asked annoyed.

"Dean… calm down." I mumbled.

"Dean, I don't know what to think." Sam admitted. They were both frustrated.

"Okay. You want some more proof? I'll give you more proof." Dean said crossing his arms.

"How?" I asked.

"We'll summon Gregory's spirit."

"What? Here? In the church? Are you kidding me?" I said with wide eyes. "That is sooo sacrilegious."

"Yeah. Yeah, we just need a few odds and ends, and that, uh, séance ritual in Dad's journal."

"Oh, a séance, great. Hope Whoopi's available." Sam said rolling his eyes.

"That's funny, actually." Dean said flatly. "Seriously. If Father Gregory's spirit is around, a séance will bring him right to us. If it's him, then we'll put him to rest."

"But if it's an angel, it won't show. Nothing will happen." Sam said.

"Exactly. That's one of the perks of the job, Sam. We don't have to operate on faith. We can know for sure. Don't you wanna know for sure?"

"Its not a bad idea Sammy." I said as I watched him contemplate the idea.

"Fine. Lets do it." He finally said.

"Well… we're definitely going to hell for this one." I mumbled as I followed my brothers back out of the crypt.

We had time to kill before we could sneak back in and be able to do the séance without the Father busting us, so we ate at a diner in town, then we headed off to a mom and pop grocery place to pick up a few things.

"Dude. I'll admit we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake. I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?" Dean said as we walked back out to the car.

"We'll just put it Spongebob side down." I giggled. Sam laughed with me but then he froze.

"Sam… Sammy what's wrong?" I asked, Dean turned and faced us.

"Dean, that's it." Sam said pointing to a guy standing across the street with a bouquet of flowers.

"What?" Dean asked confused.

"That's the sign!" Sam yelled.

"Where?" I asked him just as confused. All I see is a dude with flowers?

"Right there, right behind that guy! That's him. And we have to stop him."

Sam began to cross the street.

"Wait a minute." Dean said grabbing his arm.

"What are you doing? Let me go." Sam said pulling away from him.

"You're not going to go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?"

"Dean, I'm not insane, I'm not going to kill him. I'm going to stop him."

"Sammy maybe we should give this one a minute… we gotta figure out what to do. We can't just kill him." I said.

"Em, please, he's going to hurt someone, you know it." He said with a pleading look in his eyes. I looked up to Dean.

"All right, come on." Dean groaned. He jumped in the car but when I tried to open the passenger door it was locked. Sam then tried the back door, but it too was locked, we watched as the young man across the street got in his car as well.

"Dean. Unlock my door." Sam demanded.

"You're not killing anyone, Sam. I got this guy, you go do the séance. Em go with him." Dean said as he started to pull away.

"Dean!" Sam yelled as he pulled away.

"Come on Sam… lets go. Figure this out once and for all." I said pulling him with me as we walked back to the church.

We laid out the altar and Sam pulled out Dad's journal and began to read from it as we sat in the crypt floor.

"Amate spiritus obscure, te quaerimus, te oramus, nobiscum colloquere, aput nos circita"

I reached over and sprinkled herbs over the black candle as Sam said the words once more, then the candle flared brightly.

"What are you doing? What is this?" A voice called from behind me. I turned to see Father Reynolds. Shit.

"Uh, Father, please. I can explain. Um… actually, maybe i can't. Um. This is a, a séance." Sam explained sheepishly as he stood up.

"A séance? Young man, you are in the House of God." The Father said shocked.

"Hey. I totally was against this." I said with hands raised, Sam shot me a bitch face. I shrugged.

"It's based on early Christian rites, if that helps any." Sam explained.

"Enough. You're coming with me. Both of you."

"Father, please, you, just wait a second!" Sam begged, but the Father took him by the arm and began to drag him out, I followed close behind, but suddenly, there was a bright light building behind us. No. Fucking. Way. … Is that… an Angel?

But as I looked at Sam's face, I knew the truth. The disappointment was evident.

"Oh my god! Is that ... is that an angel?" The Father asked as he released Sam.

"No, it's not. It's just Father Gregory." Sam answered sadly. The light faded, leaving the handsome young priest's ghost standing before us.

"Thomas?!" Father Reynolds asked.

"I've come in answer to your prayers." Father Gregory answered.

Sam slowly walked forward towards the spirit.

"Sam. I thought I sent you on your path. You should hurry." He said.

"Father, I'm sorry. But you're not an angel." Sam answered.

"Of course I am."

"No. You're a man. You're a spirit. And you need to rest." I said stepping forward and taking my place next to Sam.

"I was a man young girl. But now I'm an angel. I was on the steps of the church. And I felt that bullet pierce right through me. But there was no pain. And suddenly I could see… everything. Father Reynolds, I saw you, praying and crying here. I came to help you." He said turning to the living priest.

"Help me how?" He asked. "Those murders — that was because of you?"

"I received the Word of God. He spoke to me, told me to smite the wicked. I'm carrying out his will."

"You're driving innocent people to kill." Father Reynolds said with a heartbroken expression.

"Those innocent people are being offered redemption. Some people need redemption. Don't they, Sam?"

Sam's face twitched.

"I don't think that's your place to decide." I said sternly, grabbing onto Sam's arm.

"How can you call this redemption?" Father Reynolds asked.

"You can't understand it now. But the rules of man and the rules of God are two very different things." Father Gregory answered.

"Those people. They're locked up." Sam said.

"No, they're happy. They've found peace, beaten their demons. And I've given them the keys to Heaven." Father Gregory said with a smile.

"No. No, this is vengeance, it's wrong. Thomas, this goes against everything you believed. You're lost, misguided." Father Reynolds walked forward as he spoke, standing inches from the spirit.

"Father. No, I'm not misguided." The spirit said.

"You are not an angel, Thomas. Men cannot be angels." Father Reynolds said softly. The spirit's face slowly fell.

"But… but I, I don't understand. You prayed for me to come."

"I prayed for God's help. Not this. What you're doing is not God's will. "Thou shalt not kill". That's the word of God."

"Let us help you Father Gregory." Sam said.

"No." He quickly replied.

"It's time to rest, Thomas, to be at peace. Please, let me give you Last Rites." Father Reynolds says as he raises his hands. Father Gregory nodded in resignation.

"Oh Holy Hosts above, I call upon thee as a servant of Christ to sanctify our actions this day, in fulfillment of the will of God." Father Reynolds prays.

"Father Reynolds?" The spirit asked as he began to flicker in front of us.

"Rest."

The spirit kneeled before him and Father Reynolds laid a hand on his forehead.

"I call upon the Archangel Raphael, Master of the Air, to make open the way. Let the fire of the Holy Spirit now descend, that this being might be awakened to the world beyond."

Father Gregory began to glow brightly, and then he vanished as quickly and softly as he appeared. Father Reynolds lowered his hands and turned to face us. His face a mix between awe and sadness.

"Its not your fault." I whispered to him.

The Father nodded to us and we turned to walk out and make our way back to the room.

Sam and I were packing our bags, me sitting cross legged on the bed, folding clothes to go in the bag, and him standing.

"How was your night." Dean asked as he came through the door.

I met eyes with Dean and softly shook my head back and forth. Then we both looked back to Sam.

"You were right. It wasn't an Angel… it was Father Gregory." Sam said hesitantly.

Dean walked over and sat on the bed between Sam and I and pulled out his flask, then he lifted it towards Sam. Sam took it and sat on the bed across from us.

"I don't know, Dean, I just, uh… I wanted to believe ... so badly, uh ... It's so damn hard to do this, what we do. You're all alone, you know? And ... there's so much evil out there in the world, I feel like I could drown in it. And when I think about my destiny, when I think about how I could end up..."

"Yeah, well, don't worry about that. All right? I'm watching out for you." Dean said nonchalantly.

"So am I." I said with a smile.

"Yeah, I know yall are. We're just a few humans. And I needed to think that there was something else, watching too, you know? Some higher power. Some greater good. And that maybe…"

"Maybe what?" I asked.

"Maybe I could be saved." He laughed slightly. "But, uh, you know, that just clouded my judgment, and you're right. I mean, we've gotta go with what we know, with what we can see, with what's right there in front of our own two eyes."

I was fixing to say something about how he won't need saving because nothing's going to happen, but Dean beat me.

"Yeah, well, it's funny you say that." Dean said.

"Why?" Sam and I both asked.

"Gregory's spirit gave you some pretty good information. That guy in the car was bad news. I barely got there in time."

"What happened?" I asked.

"He's dead." Dean said.

"Did… you?" Sam asked surprised.

"No. But I'll tell you one thing. If… The way he died, if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes I never would have believed it. I mean ... I don't know what to call it."

"Well tell us!" I said nosy as my brothers were earlier.

"Maybe… God's will." He said before taking a swig from his flask. I laughed and scooted to sit closer to him.

"Well boys… onto the next?"

"Yeah. Sounds good kiddo, lets get the hell outta this town." Dean said as he stood and we all loaded bags into the car.

"Hey Em. Here. Take these." Sam said as he walked up behind me.

"Ughh. Come on Sam. I feel better. Please don't make me take those. That stuff is nasty."

"Yeah well you may feel fine now, but if you stop them tonight then your gonna feel like shit again by the time you wake up in the morning. You have to take ALL of your medicine for it to be effective."

"Geez… your such a know it all." I said as I swallowed the pills.

"Lucky for you I do happen to know quite a bit." He said as he draped his arm over my shoulders and walked us out to the impala.

"Yeah yeah yeah… don't get a big head sasquatch."


	34. Chapter 34

Author's Note: Hey guys! We are going to get a better glimpse at Emily's place in yellow eye's plan in this chapter, also I'm leaving Jo out and changing the story line a little, but I am also going to work some of an original story into a chapter soon and I think she just might make an appearance, so please all you Jo fans don't be mad I cut her out of this one! She WILL come back. Like always I appreciate the love and support, please continue to read and review. I love hearing from you guys. Its motivation to keep going!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Em you got anything?" Dean asked me frantically.

"No. Dean he won't answer me!" I said back shakily. Its been 17 hours. 17 hours since I rolled over in bed and found it empty. Sam's gone. He left his things, he left the car, he left us. Again. He's just gone.

"Just keep calling okay? I'm gonna go look again."

"No. Dean. Let me please… I 've got to get out of this room." I begged him. I've been here, calling over and over again since we realized, Dean's driven the entire town and the one next to it 3 times already.

"Em, I don't want you out ther-"

"Dean please. I'll walk. I won't take the car, just let me walk the main strip, see if anything catches my eye. You never know you can miss something when you're driving."

He ran his hand through his hair and then down his face.

"Okay fine. I'll call Bobby and Ellen again… you keep that phone IN your hand at all times. You answer me the moment I call you. Understand?" He said sternly.

"Okay. Dean. I promise. I'm not going anywhere…"

"I'm not worried about you taking off Kiddo… I'm starting to think he didn't just take off either."

"Well then what the hell could it be that didn't wake up either of us last night?" I asked nervously. If something is skillfull enough to kidnap my enormous brother while I slept in the bed next to him, then it's probably something that I don't want to tango with.

"I don't know… just keep your phone in one hand and the gun in the other. Be back in an hour, or I'm gonna come looking."

"Okay. I'll be right back." I said walking over to where he sat and wrapping my arms around his neck.

"We're gonna find him… right De?" I said fighting back the tears.

Dean moved to put my face between his hands.

"Yes. We are… I promise you we will find him." He said determined, looking as if he was fighting back tears of his own.

I turned and walked out the door.

I needed to get out… I needed to see something, to look for something, to feel useful. I've done nothing but Call Sam's phone, plus his back up phone. Over and over and over again… waiting. Hoping. Jumping to my feet every time the door opened just to be disappointed when it isn't Sam.

I don't understand… how could something have taken him in the middle of the night from us? But if nothing took him then why did he leave us? Why would he leave me again. Knowing yellow eyes could be close by puts me on edge as I walk down the street.

Sudden buzzing and ringing from my hand makes me jump, getting strange looks from others walking around. I didn't even hesitate to look at the screen before flipping my phone to the side of my head.

"Hello?! Sam?" I asked my voice dripping with fear and desperation.

"No umm. Its Luke?"

Luke and I have been talking for the last week or so, ever since I texted him. We just talk about random day to day things mostly. We were just texting, but last week he actually called me, and it was so nice to hear his voice again. So for the past few days we talk on the phone once a day or so… I just really wanted this call to be from Sam.

"Luke. Hi." I whispered, trying to hide my disappointment.

"You okay Emily?"

I don't know why this particular straw broke the camel's back. I don't know why it was him asking me that made it all so real. I don't know why I couldn't have done this when Bobby, Ellen, Dean, or any of the other people we've called asked me that same question. But it fell on Luke.

I slowly stepped into an alley and slid down the wall as I tried to stall the sobs.

"Luke I-I..."

"Emily babe calm down… take a breath. Tell me what's wrong." He was so calm. So reassuring.

"He's g-gone. I ca-can't find hi-hi-him." I said into the phone, realizing just how bad I wish that Sam would walk around this corner and hold me. How terrified I was that he would be gone for good.

"Who babe who's gone?" He asked quietly.

"Sa-a-ammy. He's mis-is-ing."

"Oh God Em, I'm sorry." Luke said softly, he knows my brothers mean the world to me.

"Do you need me to do anything?" He asked. As if he could do anything that really mattered. He has no idea what could be going on… he's miles away, yet he still asks. Part of me is touched, the other part angry that I can't tell him everything, so no there isn't anything he can do.

"No… I just need to find him." I sighed finally getting control of myself.

"Okay. I know you're probably busy so I'll let you go. But you call me if you need me, for anything. Even if you just need to talk, or cry, or whatever you need. You call me. Promise?"

"Okay. I promise." I whispered.

"Bye sweetheart, call me when you find him."

"Bye Luke."

I gathered myself enough to finish walking up and down the busy street, then I made my way back to the motel before Dean could possibly worry himself anymore. He's got to be on his sixth cup of coffee when I come through the door.

"Any news?" I asked walking in.

He didn't look up to meet my eyes and instead just shook his head back and forth.

"De what are we gonna do?" I said trying to hold my composure, but slowly losing it.

Instead of answering me Dean stood up and kicked his chair, then he sent his cup of coffee flying against the wall. Causing me to jump.

I stood there with my eyes shut and clamped down on my lip to keep from falling apart. I took slow breaths through my nose.

"Pack up your stuff, we gotta go. He's not here. We gotta go find him." Dean said suddenly and I could hear him shuffling through things. But I couldn't move. I was frozen.

"Emily!" He yelled angrily.

My eyes shot open and I slightly jumped back as his heavy footsteps moved in my direction. When his eyes finally met mine I could see his anger turn into guilt.

"I'm sorry kiddo… okay. I'm sorry." He said as he walked up and I sank into his arms. "I'm just… I'm scared Em." He admitted so quietly I'm not even sure he realized he said it out loud.

"Me too." I whispered back.

"Lets go get Sammy." He said as he broke away and we packed up.

We drove circles around the town in every direction, then we finally left towards Bobby's.

We had been driving for a day and half now… not stopping. Not sleeping, other than the hour or two we got when I offered to drive so Dean could try.

I curled myself into the large Stanford hoodie and laid down in the backseat again, trying to sleep, but not succeeding. The longest I've slept is maybe an hour at a time. I'm just so afraid that I'll miss something, that I'll wake up and he'll be gone forever.

I don't know how many times over the last day I've called his phone. I don't know how many voicemails it took to fill the box, but it won't let me leave them anymore. I just want my brother. I want his hugs, I want his kindness, I want his support, I want his know it all mouth. I just want him to come back.

"Ellen, it's me again. Any chance you've heard from him?" Dean asked.

"I swear, it's like looking for my dad all over again. I'm losing my mind here… No, I've called him a thousand times, there's nothing but voicemail. I don't know where he went, or why. Sam's just gone."

"Hang on." He said suddenly, catching my attention. I sat up to watch him.

"Sammy? Where the hell are you? Are you okay? …Hey, hey, hey! Calm down. Where are you? All right, don't move, I'm on my way."

He switched back to Ellen to tell her and hang up, then he flung the car in a 180 and took off, gas pedal to the floor.

"De… is he okay?" I asked nervously.

"I don't know Em… I think so. He's at a motel. He's alive." He said sighing with relief, as did I. "He's alive." Dean said again, just barely out loud. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it.

I was too nervous to sleep the rest of the 4 hour drive to get to him, would have been a 6-7 hour drive if anyone but Dean was behind the wheel. Honestly I'm amazed at how he never gets a damn ticket.

We get to the hotel and practically jump out while the car is still parking, Dean takes off looking for the room, I follow right on his ass. Finally he stops and starts banging on the door.

"Sam, it's me. Sam!" He tries but there's no reply. Impatiently I reach out and twist the door knob, to my surprise, the door opens, and there's Sam. Sitting numbly on the bed covered in blood. Dean runs to him. I freeze.

"Sam? Hey." Dean says as he leans down to meet Sam face to face, kneeling beside him.

"Hey, Dean." Sam mouths staring straight ahead, I finally get the nerve to move and close the door, walking in to kneel on his other side.

"Are you bleeding?" I asked frantically. Searching him for wounds.

"I tried to wash it off." He said still not looking either of us in the eye.

"Oh my god." I said realizing it wasn't his.

"I don't think it's my blood." He said as if he read my mind.

"Whose is it?" Dean asked.

"I don't know."

"Sam, what the hell happened?"

Sam finally looked up to Dean.

"Dean. I don't remember anything."

I looked between my brothers, sharing a worried glance with Dean, then I moved to wrap my arms around Sam, blood or not. I needed to feel him in my arms, I needed to know he was really there. He slowly hugged me back. As if something in him was finally snapping out of it. He hugged me tightly, and I squeezed him, thankful to have him back.

Dean left to talk to the clerk and see what he could find out, I went to the car and got Sam clothes to change into. He showered and seemed to be less out of it when he came out. Dean entered the room moments later.

"What'd you find out?" Sam asked.

"You checked in two days ago under the name Richard Sambora. Of course, I think the scariest part about this whole thing is the fact that you're a Bon Jovi fan."

"Dean." Sam said deadpanned.

"Your room's been quiet, nobody's noticed anything unusual."

"Well that's a good thing right?" I said hopeful.

"You mean no one saw me walking around covered in blood?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. That's what I mean." Dean said handing Sam a coffee.

"Then how the hell did I get here, Dean? What happened to me?"

"I don't know. But you're, you're okay, and that's what matters. Everything else we can deal with." Dean said assuring us all.

"Oh really? 'Cause what if I hurt someone? Or worse?"

"Sam don't." I said putting a hand on his shoulder.

"What if this is what Dad warned you about?" Sam said suddenly, a little harsher than I would have expected.

"Hey, whoa, whoa, come on man, let's not jump the gun here. We don't know what happened. We've just got to treat this like, like any other job. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Just me, you, and Em, just, in that motel room in West Texas, going out to grab some burgers, and..."

"West Texas? That was, that was over a week ago." I said worriedly.

"That's it. Next thing I knew I was sitting here. Bloody. Felt like I'd been asleep for a month."

"Okay. Retrace your steps. The manager said you left yesterday afternoon and he never saw you come back, so…" Dean said as he opened the door motioning for us all to go out and look around.

"Recognize anything?" I asked.

"Not really."

We walked around the back, there was a dumpster and some old parking garage there.

"Wait." Sam said looking in the direction of the garage.

"What?" Dean asked.

"I think I was here."

"You remember?"

"Not really, it just ... feels familiar, you know?"

Sam led us over to the garage with a few old cars parked in it. Dean tries to open the first one.

"Try that one. Yeah." Sam said pointing to the third one, an old Volkswagen beetle.

"Oh, please tell me you didn't steal this." Dean said wrinkling his nose in disgust at the car. Lets just say he's not a fan of german cars.

We go to open it and its locked… suddenly Sam pulls a key from his pocket. We stared at each other for a second before Sam stepped up and opened the driver side door. He sat down and put his hands on the steering wheel, but quickly removed it, looking at it, then then turning it towards us.

"More blood." I mumbled seeing the bright red on his fingers.

"Sam. Back seat." Dean says quietly, Sam reaches back and picks up a blood stained knife, he stares at in horror.

"You think I used this on someone?" He asked.

"We're not thinking anything." I said firmly.

I reached in on the other side and began digging around as Sam wiped his prints off the knife. I reach down and find a pack of cigarettes mostly smoked.

"Okay now this is disturbing. Come on, Sammy, this couldn't have been you. Had to have been someone else, somebody who, uh… smokes menthols." I said as I lifted the cigarettes up and handed them to Dean.

"Here. Gas receipt. Few towns over." Sam said handing the paper to Dean as well.

We got out of the car and thoroughly wiped down all of our prints, then we poured bleach over everything that had blood on it before getting into the impala and driving to the gas station from the receipt.

"All right. Receipt's for ten gallons at pump number two. You getting any, uh, any goosebumps yet? 'God, this looks familiar', deja vu vibes?" Dean asks as we get out of the car.

"Maybe someone inside'll remember you. Come on." I said taking his hand as we walked in.

When we walked in the clerk looked up at us and became extremely angry.

"You. Outta here now, I'm calling the cops." He yells as he points at us. We all freeze in shock.

"You talking to him?" Dean asks, pointing with his thumb at Sam. I tightened my grip on Sam's hand and wrapped my other arm around his.

"Yeah, I'm talking to him. Jerk comes in yesterday, stinking drunk, grabs a forty from the fridge, starts chugging." The clerk explained bitterly.

"This guy? You're drinking malt liquor?" I asked shocked.

"Not after he whipped the friggin' bottle at my head." The clerk said as he crossed his arms.

"This guy?" Dean asks again pointing at Sam. Surely there is some mistake… no way Sammy did this.

"What, am I speaking Urdu?" The clerk asked snarkily.

"Look, I'm really sorry if I did anything –" Sam tried to apologize but the clerk quickly cut him off and picked up the phone.

"Tell your story walkin', pal. Po-po will be here in five."

"Wait, wait, put the phone down. Sam, go wait in the car." Dean demanded.

"But Dean-" Sam pleaded.

"Go wait in the car!" Dean yelled. "Emily go with him. NOW!"

Sam sighed as I pulled him back towards baby.

I opened the front passenger door and slid over to the middle, Sam sliding in next to me.

"Sammy… I know you didn't do those things. There's gotta be some mistake here. I promise we'll figure it out."

"Emily you heard the guy… he knew it was me."

"I don't care what he says Sam. That's not you. Maybe it was your body, maybe it was a shifter, maybe it was some kind of spell or some shit… but it wasn't you. That's not my Sammy." I said, he finally looked me in the eyes.

"Emily… what if you're next… what if this is what happens to us. We just… go bad." He said to me with a look of accusation in his eyes. I was taken back by his words. I released his hand subconsciously and retracted from him slightly. I didn't know how to respond. My Sam would never say something like that to me.

Luckily Dean slid in and ended our conversation before I had to reply. I felt more scared now then I have this entire time. What if he's right?

Dean slid in and hit the gas, getting us away from the gas station as quickly as possible before the guy actually did call the police. He looked over at Sam who was staring out the windshield. Then he met eyes with me, and I couldn't hide the new fear from the words that just hit my ears moments ago. The words that shook me to my core. What if I'm next?

Dean looked at me worriedly and confused, I quickly looked down but moved myself to sit as close as possible to him. Something he knows I do when I'm scared. He without hesitation wrapped an arm over my shoulders.

Its odd… the need I felt to cling to Sam since I had him back in my sight, it was gone. Replaced with a tinge of fear instead. My stomach twisted into knots and I tried to relax as Dean drove down the road, watching the sun set and the light fade.

"What's going on with you, Sam? Hm? 'Cause smoking, throwing bottles at people, I mean, that sounds more like me than you." Dean asked.

"Dean, wait, right here. Turn down that road." Sam said sitting up further in his seat and not answering Dean's question.

"What?"

"I don't know how I know, I just do."

Dean turned down the back dirt road and it led to a private drive, at the end was a large house with lots of security cameras and lights plastered all around the front. Shit. This isn't gonna be good.

"Whoever lives here, I'd say they don't like surprises." I mumbled.

"Should we knock?" Dean asked getting out, Sam and I following behind him.

"Yeah. I guess." Sam said.

Dean knocked and Sam peaked around the corner, walking away a few steps. I watched him, but moved closer to Dean.

"Em what's wrong?" Dean asked so quiet only I could hear it. I looked up to him holding back tears.

"I don't know… but-"

"Hey Dean." Sam said cutting me off. He waved his flashlight over to a broken window, Dean and I walked over to him.

"I'm surprised the cops didn't show. Place like this you'd think it'd have an alarm." Dean explained.

"Yeah, you would." Sam said pointing to a disabled alarm on the inside of the house next to the window, we all carefully climbed in. Stepping on broken glass and finding the house a mess. We walked until we found a body laying in the floor.

"Hit the lights." Dean said, I reached over and turned them on, Dean went to kneel by the body and inspect it, Sam stood close to him, and I stood back against the wall.

As Dean turned him over we found his throat had been slashed, deep. Explaining the blood soaked rug he was lying on. I looked to Sam, who's horrific expression made my fear intensify.

"Dean, I did this." Sam whispered distraught. Everything in me wanted to go to him, to comfort him. To tell him he couldn't have done it, but something wouldn't allow me to move.

"We don't know that."

"What else do you need? I mean, how else do you explain the car, the knife, the blood –"

"I don't know, man, why don't you tell me?! Look, even if you did do this I'm sure you had a reason, you know; self-defense, uh, he was, he was a bad son of a bitch, something!" Dean yelled frantically. He began to look for a wallet.

"He doesn't have any ID." He said as he stood.

"I need your lockpick." Sam said quietly.

"What?"

"I need your lockpick."

Sam took the pick from Dean's hand and walked towards me, I was unsure of what he was doing until he leaned down to the double door closet I was standing next to and began to open it, when he did we all were shocked.

"Holy shit. Either this guy's a Unabomber –" Dean started.

"Or a hunter." I finished for him.

"I think I killed a hunter." Sam whispered.

"De." I said softly, he turned to me and I pointed to the security camera in the corner of the room.

"Let's find out." Dean said walking over to the computer, Sam sat down and hacked it, pulling up the security tapes.

"Here we go." Dean said as Sam enters the room.

We all watched in shock as Sam initiated a brutal fight, leading them in and out of the frame… but when they reentered Sam was dragging him, he kneeled down next to him, and I watched in horror as Sam slit his throat. I gasped and put a hand to my mouth. Dean stood, frustrated. Sam just stared in shock at the screen.

No. No no no… This isn't Sam. Everything in me went from hot to cold. Oh my God… he's right. He's right and I'm next. I… I could kill people. I could hurt my brothers... Sam could hurt me. I quickly spun on my heel and walked out of the room, running towards the front door.

When I reached It I flew outside into the cold air, leaning over and heaving into the bushes. Not that I've eaten much the last few days, but what little I had came up, over and over again. I felt sick. I felt numb. I felt scared. I could hear Dean inside. Yelling to Sam to erase the tapes and wipe their prints. I walked over to Baby and slumped down the side. There was a brief sound of chimes in my pocket. I reached down and pulled out my phone. I opened the new message.

Luke: Find him yet?

Me: Yeah… I think he's okay. Just a lot going on. I'll call when I can.

Luke: Okay. Good… I'm glad he's okay. Are you okay?

Me: Don't you ever get tired of asking me that. Lol.

Luke: I'll stop asking when I stop worrying about you.

Me: I'm… scared.

Luke: Don't be scared sweetheart. Its gonna be okay… Your brothers wouldn't let anything hurt you.

Reading his words made me want to puke all over again… what if my brother was the one I was scared of? Instead of replying I put the phone away as I heard heavy footsteps making their way to the car.

"Em. Get up, we gotta go." Dean said frantically as he opened the door for me, I ducked behind him and instead climbed in the backseat. He looked at me odd, but shook his head and climbed in, driving quickly away from the house.

The whole way back to the motel I kept eyes on Sam. He looked, distraught. He looked like the Sam I knew… the one who's tender heart would break at the thought of killing an innocent. But something about him still made me hesitant to touch him. To put a hand on his shoulder. I fought past it and reached out to him anyways. Taking a deep breath I grasped his shoulder and let him lay his hand on top of mine. I leaned my head forward against the seat and closed my eyes until the car came to a stop.

"All right, we get a couple hours sleep and then we put this place in our rearview mirror. Look, I know this is bad, okay? You gotta snap out of it. Sam, say something!" Dean yelled as we all entered the room. Sam numbly sat on the bed, Dean paced, and I leaned against the wall.

"Just get some sleep and leave in the morning? Murder, Dean. That's what I did." Sam said sorrowfully.

"Maybe…" Dean said hunting for the words. Sam scoffed before Dean continued. "Okay? Hey, we don't know... shapeshifter!"

"Oh, come on. You know it wasn't, you saw the tape. There was no eye flare, no distortion."

"Yeah, but it wasn't you! All right? I mean, yeah, it might have been you, but it wasn't you." Dean yelled.

"Well, I think it was… I think maybe more than you know." Sam said quietly. His expression changing to something foreign.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked.

"For the last few weeks I've been having ... I've been having these feelings."

"What feelings?" Dean asked as he sat across from him.

"Rage. Hate. And I can't stop it. It just gets worse. Day by day, it gets worse." Sam explained numbly. It sent shivers throughout my body to listen to this.

"You never told me this."

"I didn't want to scare you... or Em." He said as he looked up to me, I tried to hide the fear in my eyes but I just couldn't. I was afraid of him.

"Well, bang-up job on that." Dean said sarcastically as he slapped his knees and stood again.

"Dean, the yellow-eyed demon, you know he has plans for me and Emily. And we all know that he's turned other children into killers before, too."

"No one can control you but you. Besides Emily hasn't had any weird feelings right?" Dean asked turning to me. I could see the pleading look in his eyes, he was afraid I would say that I felt the same way.

"No. I haven't. Not at all." I said confidently, watching his face relax a little.

"Dean, it feels like no matter what I do, slowly but surely I'm, I'm just becoming..."

"What?"

"Who I'm meant to be. I mean, you said it once yourself, Dean. I gotta face up to who I am."

"I didn't mean this!"

"But it's still true. You know that. Dad knew that too. That's why he told you, if it ever came to this… Maybe there is still time for Emily, but maybe not."

"Shut up, Sam." I said closing my eyes and tensing my fits, feeling the overwhelming fear crawl its way back up my spine.

"Sam she's right. That's enough. That's not what this is and I'm not killing you. Either of you."

"Dean, you promised him. You promised me." Sam said calmly. Too calm.

"No. Listen to me. We're gonna figure this out. Okay? I mean, there's gotta be a way, right?"

"Yeah there is. I don't wanna hurt anyone else. I don't wanna hurt you or Emily." Sam's expression changed back into one of despair as he held out his handgun to Dean. Dean stared it down as Sam placed it in his hand..

"You won't. Whatever this is, you can fight it." Dean said.

"No. I can't. Not forever. Here, you gotta do it." Sam said with teary eyes.

"Sammy no… No. We'll figure it out." I begged walking over to them. Dean just stared at Sam, he sat in shock as Sam slowly loses his composure and begins to shake.

"You know, I've tried so hard to keep you safe." Dean said so quiet I could barely hear it.

No. He wouldn't. He can't…

"Dean." I whispered.

"I know." Sam said.

"I can't. I'd rather die." Dean said shaking his head and standing. I breathed out a sigh of relief as he dropped the gun on the bed before turning away from him.

"No. You'll live." Sam said standing with the gun, his expression changing drastically fast as he turned to Dean. Dean began to turn to face him when suddenly Sam pistol whips him.

"You'll live to regret this." He snarled.

"Sam!" I screamed. Out of fear… out of shock. I stared at the unconscious Dean on the floor, then I looked back up to see Sam watching me, an unfamiliar gaze in his eyes.

"I told him Emily… I told you both to kill me when you had the chance. But neither of you would do it. What does it take to get through that stubborn Winchester head?"

"Sammy please don't do this." I said shakily as I backed up towards the door, one hand on the gun in my waistband. But I knew even if I drew it I couldn't pull the trigger. The scarier question… can he?

"Sammy this… Sammy that. Its Sam."

"This isn't you… it can't be."

"Oh its me. The new me. I'm becoming the same thing you'll become too. The feeling Em… the power that comes along with it. All the rage. The drive to kill. Its- invigorating."

"No. I'll never be like that." I said shakily, as I reached the door and my back lay flat against it. Sam kept walking forward, towering over me.

"If you want to spare yourself… then here." He said as he placed the gun in front of me. "Do it. Kill yourself now before you become like me. Save yourself kiddo. Don't be like me." His eyes bored into mine and for a second I could see the flicker of pain. Like my Sammy was still there, somewhere… then suddenly. It all fit together. Its not Sam.

"You're not Sam, are you?" I asked after a minute of silence.

He dropped his head and began to laugh, when he looked back up his eyes were pitch black.

"Well well well… finally figured it out. Honestly I'm disappointed it took this long. Winchesters…" He sighed.

"Get the fuck out of my brother."

"Oh I will… when the time is right. When it comes time for him to take his place, I'll be happy to be at his side."

I reached around for the door, knowing my gun was no use against the demon, but he caught me and slammed it shut just as I slightly opened it.

"Oh I don't think so… I've had enough of this little game honestly. I'm growing a bit bored with it." He said before he pulled me forward by my shirt and then slammed me against the door, hitting my head. I fell dizzily to the floor, and felt him lift my body as everything faded to black.

When I woke up again I was tied up in the backseat of the impala.

Sam was driving, I was laying face down and struggled until I was finally laying on my back instead.

"Morning sunshine." Sam called from the front seat.

"Why are you doing this? Why don't you just kill me and get it over with." I rasped.

"Well you see, boss's rules. I can't kill you. Hurt you… a lot. But kill you? Nope. We still need you just incase our all American boy here falls through."

"So then what are you gonna do with me?" I asked cautiously.

"Bait… see big bro is still out there. Him I'm allowed to gank. So you're gonna bring him right to me."

"He'll never fall for this." I spat.

"Oh but he will… you see you're the chink in his armor. Well. WE are the chink, but you. You're his little girl. He can't NOT come to your rescue, its engraved in his brain."

"You son of a bitch… wait until Sam snaps back into control. You're gonna regret you ever looked in his direction."

He laughed.

"Sam is locked away, watching, listening, but the only thing he can do is scream for you and Dean, nothing else. I enjoy hearing the agony in his voice.

"I swear I'll fucking kill you." I growled as the car came to a stop.

Sam got out and then pulled me out and up to my feet, pushing me inside and tying me to a post in the center of the room.

"Now now now, can't have you telling Dean our little secret, so I think this should fit nicely." He said as he tied a gag around my mouth.

"Now, lets see if we can drag Dean out here, he's close."

Sam turned towards me with a knife in his hands, and an evil smirk on his face. He walked over and laid the blade across my cheek.

"You better scream loud, don't want Dean to take too long." He said as he pulled it down the side of my face, I could feel the blood drip down to my chin, but I resisted screaming, knowing I was just setting a trap for Dean.

"Come on now, don't be shy. You're always opening that loud mouth. Scream for me." He said as he took it and ran it down my arm, slicing as he went. I bit down on the gag and felt tears warm my face, stinging when they ran into the cut on my cheek.

"Emily Emily Emily… Don't make me truly hurt you. Scream!" He yelled as he dug the knife into my side, I couldn't help but scream out as he twisted the blade and I could feel it scrape against the bone of my ribcage.

"That's my girl." He said stroking my hair softly.

It wasn't but a minute later when Dean came busting through the door, guns out.

"Sam!" Dean screamed.

I watched as Sam's face went from an evil smirk to a desperate cry.

"I begged you to stop me, Dean!" He yelled as he placed the knife against my throat.

"Put the knife down, dammit." Dean growled. Flickering his eyes between mine and Sam's. I tried to yell the word "demon" through my gag, but it was muffled by my cries.

"I told you I can't fight it! My head feels like it's on fire, all right?! Dean. Kill me, or I'm going to kill her. Please. You'd be doing me a favor! Shoot me. Shoot me!" Sam yelled spreading his arms wide.

Dean stared at him and briefly looked to me out the corner of his eye. I shook my head no.

"No, Sammy, come on." He said lowering the gun and looking away.

"What the hell's wrong with you, Dean? Are you that scared of losing me that you'd rather let me kill Emily?" Sam set the knife down next to me spoke, then he took a step towards Dean who was now facing away from us. Suddenly Dean turned and flung holy water at Sam, causing his skin to sizzle and him to scream.

"That's holy water, you demonic son of a bitch!" Dean yelled.

Sam raised his head with eyes black as night. Dean flung more holy water and Sam growled before jumping out a window, Dean runs over and cuts my ropes with the knife Sam left before running toward the window, before I knew what was happening he too jumped.

"Dean!" I yelled.

I scrambled to my feet, but I was unsteady and bleeding. I used the gag that was in my mouth as bandage and wrapped it around my ribs, securing it there and holding pressure over the wound, the one on my face and arm wouldn't be as much of an issue, they would stop bleeding soon.

I heard gunshots outside.

"Oh God…" I whispered, then I quickly gathered myself and grabbed the knife, going outside to search for my brothers.

I called Dean's phone over and over again, but no answer. No sight of him OR Sam. I called again and hear the faint sound of the Metallica ringtone. I froze and listened, then I rushed to the edge of the water to see Dean lying on the ground, blood staining the concrete.

"Dean! De! Wake up!" I yelled as I reached him and shook him awake, he groaned and I noticed the bullet hole in his arm. At least this demon can't aim for shit.

"Where's Sam?" He groaned.

"I don't know… Come on. Get up."

Dean and I stumbled back into the warehouse where I had been tied up, and I grabbed the med kit to dig the bullet out of his arm.

"Ow! Shit!" He growled as I dug at it with tweezers.

"Sorry De… I gotta get it out." I said as I twisted and finally got hold of the bullet, pulling it out and leaving it on the table he was laying on.

"I know…" He sighed after I removed the tweezers.

"Its out. Dean… what are we gonna do?" I mumbled.

"We're gonna find him again, and then we're gonna send that bastard back to hell."

"Where would he go?"

"Well… I think maybe I have a lead on that." Dean said sitting up.

"Let me see." He said motioning to my side.

"Its fine De. I wrapped it for now."

"No. You shoved a dirty rag on it, let me fix it before we leave."

"Fine." I sighed jumping up on the table and rolling up my shirt.

"He knicked you good. Didn't he?"

"Yeah. Let me tell you how much it tickled." I said sarcastically.

"Emily. Are you okay?"

I sighed.

"I wish people would stop asking me that."

"Well. Its kind of a valid question." He said as he washed the wound with alcohol. I groaned and arched at the sting.

"Well my brother just kidnapped and tortured me and then tried to kill my other brother. So yeah. I'm fan fucking tastic." I growled.

"Em. Its not him." Dean said softly as he stood over and looked me in the eye.

"I know… but. Dean.. he.."

How can I tell Dean that Sam told me to kill myself… that I almost considered because I honestly believed for a second it was him. That he had gone evil. That I too would become evil.

"Talk to me kiddo… you knew something was off didn't you?" He asked and I nodded. "Did he say something?"

"When we were at the gas station… you were still inside. He. He said "what if you're next" … then at the motel, after he knocked you out." I fiddled with my hands as Dean finished bandaging my side, then he moved to clean my face.

"He… He told me that I should just kill myself in order to save myself from becoming like him." I whispered. "And for a second… I thought he was right."

"Em." Dean said surprised.

"I figured out then that it wasn't really him… Sam would never talk to me like that. But for a second. I really thought It was him. I really thought he was right." I said looking down.

Dean looked down at me and kissed the top of my head.

"You're a lot smarter than me kiddo… I didn't figure it out until I got here, I could read it on your face."

"I just want this nightmare to end Dean."

"Me too kiddo. Come on, lets go get our brother back." Dean said as he reached out his hand and lifted me off the table.

We left and drove straight to Bobby's.

"I still don't see why you think he'd show up here of all places." Bobby said as we set the devil's traps.

"Because he's my brother and I know his every move. He'll come and try to take you out. You're useful and the demon knows that." Dean explained, not long after that there was knocking at the door.

Bobby looked to us and nodded, Dean pulled me aside and tucked us away in the corner where we wouldn't be seen.

"Sam!" Bobby said as I could hear the door open.

"Hey, Bobby." Sam replied.

"It's been a while. Well, come on in." I heard footsteps and then the door shut. I didn't even realize my foot was tapping out of nerves until Dean put his foot on top of mine, I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I was holding and leaned back against him, he silently squeezed my shoulders and we listened.

"So what brings you?" Bobby asked him.

"Working a job nearby, and thought I'd stop in and say hey."

"Well, where's Dean and Emily?"

"Well. Dean is holed up somewhere with a girl and a twelve pack, and Emily wasn't feeling well so she got a room at the same place to sleep it off." Sam explained with a chuckle as Bobby walks back and gets two beers off the kitchen counter.

"Oh yeah? She pretty?"

"You ask me, he's in way over his head."

"What about Em, she didn't catch that bug going around did she? I heard it was a nasty one."

"Yeah yeah, she did actually. Been down for a few days now."

"Well, it's good to see you… To John." Then I heard bottles clink.

"To Dad." Sam said, but moments later we could hear choking and the noise of someone gagging and falling to the floor. I tensed and went to move, but Dean held me back.

"Not yet." He whispered.

"What'd you do?!" Sam yelled.

"A little holy water in the beer. Sam never would have noticed. But then, you're not Sam are you. Don't try to con a con man." Bobby said, then there was the distinct sound of a fist slamming against a face.

Dean led me around the corner and he and Bobby lifted Sam into a chair, tying him up.

"Emily. Get dad's journal, get ready to read."

"Okay."

I came back with the journal open and ready for the exorcism.

"Hey." Dean said slapping Sam's face lightly, he slowly began to stir, lifting his head. I took a few steps back, surprised by the smirk on his face. A hand quickly fell on my shoulder, I looked up to Bobby and he nodded, as if to say it was going to be okay.

"Dean. Back from the dead. Getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it? Like a cockroach."

"How about I smack that smartass right out of your mouth?"

"Oh, careful, now. Wouldn't want to bruise this fine packaging."

"Oh don't worry, this isn't gonna hurt Sam much. You, on the other hand ..." Dean lifted a bucket of holy water and dumped it over Sam's head. It hurt to watch him thrash in the chair. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths.

"Feel like talking now?" Dean asked.

"Sam's still my meat puppet. I'll make him bite off his tongue."

"No, you won't be in him long enough. Em."

"Exorcisamus te, omnes in mundus spiritus, omnes satanica potestas, omnes incursio ..." I began to read the exorcism.

"See, whatever bitch-boy master plan you demons are cooking up? You're not getting Sam or Emily. You understand me? 'Cause I'm gonna kill every one of you first." Dean growled.

Sam struggled painfully as I kept reading, then he threw back his head in laughter, I stopped out of surprise. Watching him carefully.

"You really think that's what this is about? The master plan? I don't give a rat's ass about the master plan. As long as Sam or Emily is alive then the plan will happen, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Honestly. I could kill sweet Sammy right now. I'd love to see what tricks that bitch has up her sleeve." He laughed as he looked over to me.

"Hey! You don't talk to her!" Dean yelled stepping in the line of sight.

"Why not? Don't you think she's curious? I mean… Sam. He's powerful. But Emily. She's the wild card. She's the one that people talk about. I could kill Sam right here and now, tear him apart from the inside out, and we could watch her come to life."

"Shut up! Emily keep going!" Dean yelled. I froze, staring at my brother. What the hell does any of that even mean?! What am I?

"Emily!" Dean yelled.

"Humiliares sub potente magnu dei..." I began again.

"Oops. Doesn't seem to be working. See, I learned a few new tricks." He smiled then bowed his head and began talking in latin as well. "Spiritus in mundus, un glorum suarum umitite palatum iram, domine…" The fireplace erupted in flames and the room began to shake. Bobby's grip on me tightened and he pulled me towards him, shielding me from whatever may fall.

"This isn't going like I pictured! What's going on, Bobby?" Dean yelled.

"It's a binding link! It's like a lock! He's locked himself inside Sam's body!" He said as he pointed to a burn on Sam's arm.

"What the hell do we do?" I asked.

"I don't know!"

Sam threw his head back and screamed, the walls and floor began to crack, moving towards the ceiling where eventually a large crack ran through the devil's trap. Sam lowered his head, his black eyes almost glowing.

"There. That's better." He grinned. Dean moved towards Bobby and I but was flung backwards, then Bobby, and lastly me. I laid against the brick pile in the corner. Sam ripped free of the restraints and stood, walking over to Dean.

"You know when people want to describe the worst possible thing? They say it's like hell." He said kneeling in front of Dean and pulling him by his shirt before clocking him on the right side of his jaw.

"Stop it!" I screamed. Unable to move from fear. How can I stop my own brother?

"You know there's a reason for that. Hell is like, um ...Well, it's like hell. Even for demons." He hit him again. "It's a prison, made of bone and flesh and blood and fear. And you sent me back there." Another hit… then it clicked in my head.

"Meg." I sneered, finally standing as rage replaced the fear. He turned and stood facing me as I stepped forward, blade in hand.

"No. Not anymore. Now I'm Sam. By the way. I saw your Dad there - he says howdy." Sam laughed in my face, I reached and punched him, hard, dropping the knife and wanting to dish this out with my bare hands as the rage ran through my body. I hit again and again, Sam laughed and grabbed me by the throat, shoving me against the wall. Then he threw me across the room and went back to Dean. Picking him up by the arm and shoving a finger in his bullet wound, causing him to scream out in pain. A sound that feels like metal scraping against my bones again.

"All that I had to hold onto, was that I would climb out one day, and that I was going to torture you. Nice and slow. Like pulling the wings off an insect. But whatever I do to you, it's nothing compared to what you do to yourself, is it? I can see it in your eyes, Dean. You're worthless. You couldn't save your Dad, and deep down ... you know that you can't save your brother and sister. They'd have been better off without you."

Sam reared back to hit him again, but I grabbed his arm.

"Shut the fuck up you ugly bitch!" I yelled as I took the hot poker and laid it over the burn mark on his arm that kept Meg locked inside of him. He screamed out in pain, releasing Dean. Then black smoke poured out of his mouth and up the chimney, Dean pulled himself against the wall and Sam slumped down, unconscious.

I dropped the poker and moved over to Dean, but Sam began to scramble and sat up looking around in confusion, grabbing his arm.

"Sammy?" I asked breathless.

"Did I miss anything?" He asked looking over at the unconscious but breathing Bobby across the room, then to bloody Dean and me.

I sighed and leaned against the wall in relief as Dean sat up and clocked Sam. Sam grabbed his face in confusion as Dean laid back beside me, catching his breath as well.

(Dean's POV)

It took a few hours to get Bobby's place cleaned back up. Sam apologized to him only about a hundred times, then he tried to apologize to Em. But… she's just not ready yet. She's asleep finally, I had to convince her that we could handle cleaning without her. I know she was exhausted and needed to rest.

I looked over to the couch where Sam sat with an ice pack against his arm. Watching the fireplace. I walked over and sat across from him.

"By the way, you really look like crap, Dean." He said looking over at me.

"Yeah, right back atcha." I grinned.

Bobby walked back into the room, his head hung low.

"What is it, Bobby?" Sam asked.

"You boys ever hear of a hunter named Steve Wandell?"

"Why do you ask?" I knew why. Because Sam killed him… something tells me Bobby knows that already.

"Just heard from a friend. Wandell's dead. Murdered in his own house." I watched as Sam swallowed and looked down to the floor. "You wouldn't know anything about that."

"No sir, never heard of the guy." I said quickly before taking another drink of my beer.

"Dean-" Sam sighed.

"Good. Keep it that way. Wandell's buddies are looking for someone or something to string up, and they're not going to slow down to listen to reason. You understand what I'm saying?" Bobby said giving us a straight look.

We nodded and all took another drink, then Bobby dug into his pockets.

"Here. Take these. The bracelet is for Em."

"What are they?" I asked looking at the small pendants.

"Charms. They'll fend off possession. That demon's still out there. This'll stop it from getting back up in ya." Bobby explained.

"That sounds vaguely dirty, but uh, thanks." I grinned and finished off my beer.

"You're welcome. I'm gonna get some shut eyes, don't be up too late. You both look exhausted."

"Thanks Bobby." Sam said smiling, but Bobby didn't smile back.

Bobby left and Sam and I sat in silence for a while, I watched as his face fell further and further.

"You okay? Sam? Is that you in there?"

"I was awake for some of it, Dean. I watched myself kill Wandell with my own two hands; I saw the light go out in his eyes. Then… with Emily. The things I said to her. The things I did. Dean I felt that knife scrape her bones in my hand. Her screams… the way she looked at me, like she was honestly scared of me before she knew I was possessed. Not that I blame her. I just. That look of fear. I can't get it out of my head."

"That must have been awful." I admitted looking down. I can't imagine watching myself hurt Em. I know Sam's not gonna let himself live that one down for a long time. It doesn't help that she hasn't really talked to him about it yet either. She just… she's shook up, with good reason.

"That's not my point. I killed a man. I attacked you, shot you. I almost carved up Em. But no matter what I did, you wouldn't shoot. Dean this is Emily… she comes before anything else. And you still wouldn't put me down."

"It was the right move, Sam. It wasn't you. She knew that, she looked me in the eye and begged me not to kill you in that warehouse. She would have hated me if I shot you, I would have hated me if I shot you."

"Okay maybe it was the right call- this time. What about next time?"

I sighed deeply… knowing he wasn't going to let any of this go anytime soon.

"Sam, when Dad told me ... that I might have to kill you, it was only if I couldn't save you. And If I understood Meg correctly, nothing happens to Emily unless you die. So by saving you, I save you both. Now, if it's the last thing I do I'm gonna save you." I told him determined and confident. My job was just cut in half. Instead of saving them both from different things all I have to do is keep Sam alive, and Emily will be okay too.

Sam sighed and shook his head, leaning back into the couch. I watched him and chuckle hit my lips.

"What?" Sam asked curiously.

"Nothing." I said shaking my head.

"Dean, what?"

"Dude, you - you like, full-on had a girl inside you for like a whole week." I laughed, and as much as he tried not to he laughed as well. "That's pretty naughty."

We looked up as we heard footsteps coming down the stairs, assuming Bobby went to bed that leaves one other person. Em.

She walked downstairs, her dark wavy hair down around her face and messy from the sleep. She let Sam's Stanford sweater swallow her,leaving just the rim of her shorts showing, and her bare feet padded the floor.

"Hey." She mumbled coming to sit beside Sam on the couch.

"Hey kiddo, get some sleep?" I asked, and I could tell she had, the bags under her eyes were significantly lighter.

"Yeah. I did… thanks Dean. But you need some too. I'm not the only one with bags." She told me with eyebrows raised. Sam and I both chuckled.

"Yeah well I guess that's fair." I smirked at her, she smiled back and leaned against Sam, finally looking comfortable with touching him again.

"So. What Meg said… what do you think it means?" She asked hesitantly.

"Well. I was just talking with Sam about that actually."

"Yeah, we think it means that nothing happens to you unless I die. So as long as I'm alive, your safe." Sam told her with a smile.

"Yep. All I gotta do is keep nerd HQ over there safe and that keeps you both safe, so it cuts my job in half." I said with a grin. She smiled back.

"Can I ask a weird question…." She said narrowing her eyes at the ground.

"Sure kiddo. You can ask us anything, you know that."

"What… what powers do you think I'd have? I mean… Max, Andy… You." She said looking up to Sam. "You all have some crazy psychic power. What do you think mine would be?" She asked slowly.

I giggled watching her eyes flick back and forth between Sam and I. Sam just grinned.

"Probably super screaming or something. I mean you've got a loud mouth anyways." Sam said and she dropped her jaw in shock before lightly punching him. Causing us all to laugh.

"I don't know kiddo. I just hope we never find out." I said honestly.

"She said… I was a wild card. I mean. What does that even mean?"

I watched her as her eyes fell back to the floor, thoughts racing in her head. I know she's scared. Scared of what she could become, scared of what Sam could become. Scared of yellow eyes. I watch her all the time, I know every emotion that runs across her face, fear comes in a few different forms, but this is definitely one of them.

"Emily. Its not gonna come down to that. Its not gonna even be an issue. All we do is save Sam's ass and yours is automatically covered. You literally couldn't do anything unless he died. And I don't know about you, but I ain't letting him die. Period. Okay? So don't get stuck on this. Forget what she said."

She looked back to me with worry, curiosity, and something I hope is along the lines of trust.

"Okay. Thanks De." She said quietly. But her gaze never left mine, I got the feeling she was ready to talk.

"Alright, well I'm headed off to bed, I'll see you two in the morning. Oh. Em… here, Bobby got you this, its to ward off possession. DON'T take it off." I said with a warning glare as I walked away and she slipped it on her wrist.

(Emily's POV)

"Sir yes sir." I mocked and smiled at him as he walked away up the staircase. I watched until he was out of sight, then I turned back to Sam. He was watching me carefully. I blushed and looked down. I know this conversation is gonna happen eventually… might as well get it over with.

"Em…" he said causing me to look back up, then he ran his finger along the cut on my face. "I'm so sorry kiddo. I. I just couldn't stop her… I tried."

"I know Sammy… Its okay. It wasn't you."

"But you thought it was at first… when I said those things to you. Emily. I want you to know that you are the most important thing in the world to Dean and Me both. I would NEVER say those things to you, It just… killed me to watch your face. You believed them. You considered it. Why you would ever consider that is beyond me."

"I don't know Sam… it just. I was so afraid that I'd be something terrible. That I'd turn into a killer and hurt you, hurt Dean. I couldn't live with myself. I guess… I guess it just seemed better than the possible alternative." I said looking down at my feet.

"Em those things she said to you. They aren't true. You won't become anything like that. I'll never let that happen. Dean would never let that happen. Your safe with us. I promise." Sam said lifting my chin to look him in the eye.

"Sam…" I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"Yeah?"

"I.. I-I thought you left us again." I said with tears stinging my eyes.

"Emily no of course not. I would never leave you again." He said shifting on the couch and leaning down closer to me. "I promised you I wasn't going anywhere. And I'm not… okay?"

I nodded slowly as a few tears slipped out against my will. I quickly reached up to remove them, but Sam beat me to it.

"Sam… Just. Don't ever leave me… okay. Never again." I whispered as I leaned up and wrapped myself around him, feeling the tears work their way back. Quiet sobs shook my body, his arms wrapped tighter.

"Shhhh, its okay I won't. I promise. Never again." He cooed as his arms wrapped all the way around me and he pulled me tightly to him. Just the feeling of having his arms around me, his warmth, his love. Having my Sammy back. It made this horrible day drift away. I need this Winchester just as much as I do the other one. I don't think I could survive without him. No one gives a hug like Sam does. He shifted again on the couch so that his legs were laid out and he was propped against the side, me laid across him, still wrapped around him with my face laying in his neck.

"Get some sleep kiddo, I'm not going anywhere."


	35. Chapter 35

Author's note: SO SORRY its taking so long to get updates to yall lately, we bought a house a few weeks ago and we've been getting it ready to move in on top of work. Okay guys, I'm gonna rearrange some chapters that we have left in this season, and probably skip one, maybe two, but there is a rhyme and reason and I'll do my best to replace everything. Just don't wanna do too much drama back to back on chapters, but anyways. I'm excited to fit Emily into this chapter for sure! It jumps around a lot but I tried to make it as easy to follow as I could. I hope you all like it, PLEASE read and review if you can, I miss hearing from everyone! And as always thank you to loyal followers/faves/reviewers! You guys mean the world to me! Thanks to all you new comers too! I'm thrilled and humbled that you take time out of your busy life to read about Emily!

I woke up wrapped in the same long warm arms I fell asleep in, its been years since we fell asleep on a couch like this. When we were little and dad was gone on a hunt Dean would sometimes go out late to "do his thing" and let Sammy and I have popcorn and movies, we'd stay up as late as we possibly could until we eventually passed out on the couch, undoubtedly I would always get cold and crawl into his arms. The same arms that hold me now, the same arms that I almost lost.

Soft snores filled the room, but soon there were also footsteps. I turned and looked up as Dean walked into the room and sat down across from us with coffee in hand. He took a sip and then grinned at me.

"What?" I asked softly so that I didn't wake up my personal mattress and comforter.

Dean shook his head back and forth looking down.

"De… what is it?"

He looked back up and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly.

"I'm just glad you two are okay. That's all… that and the fact that you look like a toddler again." He laughed. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I can't help it you two are giants. You two used up all the height genes before I was born, I just took what I was left with." I said matter of factly.

"Yeah well you know, when you were conceived dad tried to pull out and left the rest of your height on the sheets."

"DEAN!" I gasped in shock and disgust, reaching for something to throw at him. He laughed and all the commotion began to wake Sam.

The snores turned into mumbles.

"Morning sleeping beauty." Dean called to him.

Sam moved his arms from around me and stretched, I instantly felt the loss of warmth and nuzzled further between him and the couch.

"Morning, you sleep okay Em?" He asked me.

"Yeah. I did." I smiled and sat up next to him, burying my icy feet under him. I went to stretch but winced. Feeling the sharp pain in my side as the skin and muscles were pulled.

"Careful kiddo, don't want to rip my stitch work." Dean warned. I shot him a bitchface before slowly moving to sit up straight. I lifted the shirt up and Sam pulled back the bandage.

"See… stitches intact." I smiled. Dean winked.

"You want a pain pill Em?" Sam asked.

"No. Its fine… I just can't do too much stretching apparently."

When I turned to look at him again, his face had fallen, his hazel eyes fixed on the cuts on my face instead on my own brown eyes.

"Sam." I sighed.

"I know Em, but it doesn't make it any easier to look at."

"Well then I guess you'll just have to make it up to me." I grinned.

"Oh you're in trouble now." Dean chuckled to Sam.

"What exactly does that entail?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Hmm. Cheesecake, I get to pick the movies for a month, annnnnd. You can't leave me."

Sam chuckled and then pulled me to lean against him. "I already told you I'm not going anywhere kiddo. You're stuck with me."

"You're stuck with the both of us… hell you'll probably be begging to get rid of us by the end of the day. THAT'S how stuck with us you are." Dean said smiling.

"Nahhh. I don't think I want either of you out of my sight ever again."

*4 days later*

"Get your smelly ass feet away from me Dean!" I growled as I slapped and pushed them away from me. He stopped chewing for a moment to shove them back in my face.

"Ughh! I can't stand you! You're lucky I haven't kicked your ass yet for your little stunt last night! " I growled getting up and moving to the other bed.

"What stunt?! I told you. I DIDN'T DO IT!"

"Oh sure! Yeah. Cause my phone got up, took a picture of me sleeping with my mouth wide open, and sent it to Luke all on its own!" I snapped.

"Hey! I told you it wasn't me! Why don't you ask bigfoot! You think I was the only one in this room last night?"

"No. I don't, but Sam was asleep before I was! You were the only one still awake Dean! I'm not stupid."

"Well that's debatable…" he mumbled under his breath. If looks could kill, Dean would have just died a very painful death.

He kicked back and continued eating his bag of chips. Sam came around the corner and rolled his eyes.

"Dude. You mind not eating those on MY bed?" Sam asked.

"No, I don't mind." He said eating another. "How's research going?"

"You know how it's going? Slow. You know how it would go a heck of a lot faster? If I had my computer." Sam said flatly.

I got tired of listening to their bitching days ago. I put my headphones in and cranked them. Of course, I can only hear out of one side since someone broke them, assholes.

"Can you turn that down please?" Sam asked sitting at the table. I ignored him. I'm pretty sure it was his big ass foot that stepped on my headphones in the first place.

"Emily! Turn it down!" He yelled after another minute. I ignored him again and he huffed before walking over to the bed and yanking them out of my ears.

"Dude what the fuck!" I yelled standing up and taking them back.

"I said to turn it down." He said before stalking off.

I huffed and sat back down, turning off the ipod. I looked over to see Dean watching the TV, some bullshit reality show with skanky girls wearing bikinis. Unfortunately Sam continued to walk in front of it to carry his books to the table.

"Hey. I'm watching this, you mind?" Dean asked not bothering to look at him.

"You know what… maybe you two should just go somewhere while I try and actually get some research done."

Dean's face was frozen in irritability. Then suddenly he looks up to Sam.

"Hey, I'd love to. That's a great idea. Unfortunately, my car's all screwed to hell!" He yelled.

"Dean, I told you, I have nothing to do wi—" Sam started but a knock at the door stopped him.

We all stood staring at each other, but then Sam caved and walked over to the door.

"Hey, Bobby."

"Boys. Em" Bobby said walking in with his hands in his pockets.

"Hey Uncle Bobby." I said going over to hug him.

"Hey, Bobby." Dean said standing behind me.

"It's good to see you all again so soon."

"Yeah, uh, thanks for coming." Sam said.

"Thank god you're here." Dean mumbled.

"So um, what didn't you want to talk to me on the phone about?"

"It's this job we're working. We- We weren't sure you'd believe us." I admitted timidly.

"Well, I can believe a lot." He scoffed.

"Yeah, no, no, it's just, we've never seen anything like it –" Sam explained.

"Not even close." Dean added.

"And we thought we could use some fresh eyes."

"Well, why don't you begin at the beginning?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, um, all right. So, it all started when we caught wind of an obit. See, a professor took a nosedive from a fourth story window, only there's a campus legend that the building's haunted. So we pretexted as reporters from the local paper."

 **(Sam's POV Flashback to the bar)**

"Yeah, we both had the professor for Ethics and Morality." Said Curtis and Jen, two local students.

"Yeah? So why do you think he did it?" I asked them.

"Who knows? I mean, he was tenured, wife and kids. His book is like a really big deal. Then again... Who's to say it was suicide?" Jen whispered quietly. Curtis scoffed at her.

"Jen, get real."

"Well, what else could it be?" I said cleverly feigning confusing.

"Well, you know about Crawford Hall right?" Jen asked leaning forward.

"No, I don't, actually."

"It's a bunch of crap, it's a total urban legend." Curtis cut in.

"Yeah well, Heather's mom went to school here, and she knew the girl!" Jen smarted back.

"Wait, what girl?" I asked getting their attention back.

"Thirty years ago, this girl was having an affair with some professor. He broke it off, she jumped out the window and killed herself."

"You know her name?"

"No. But they say she jumped from room six-six-nine. Get it? You turn the nine upside down?"

I nodded and Curtis laughed at Jen's theory.

"So now she haunts the building. And anyone who sees her? They don't live to tell the tale."

"Well if no one lives to tell the tale, then how does the tale get told?" Curtis asked her sarcastically.

"Curtis! Shut up!" She yelled smacking him in the shoulder.

"You know what, uh - Thanks a lot guys. Excuse me." I smiled before walking back to find Dean and Emily, who are no doubt flirting with some drunk college students. I spot Dean first and lean in as he begins taking a series of 3 brightly colored shots to impress the woman across the bar from him.

"Dean. Dean, what are you drinking?"

"I don't know, man, I think they're called purple nurples?" He said as he burped.

"Okay, well listen. I think maybe we should go check out the professor's office. Lets get Emily and go."

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no I can't right now, I've got some feisty little wildcat on the hook, I'm about to - zzzzp - reel her in. I'll introduce you." He said winking at the same girl across the bar. She was wearing fishnet stockings and a tight miniskirt, heaviy intoxicated, and wearing about 10lbs of make up.

"Dean –" I shighed as he waved her over.

"Starla! Starla, hey. This is my shuttle co-pilot Major Tom. Major Tom, Starla." He smiled drunk and introduced us. The even drunker girl leaned forward and put her arm around Dean.

"Enchanté." She chanted.

"Hi." I said shortly watching her gag slightly and then look up grinning. "Sorry, just trying to keep down the liquor she giggled.

"Okay… I'm gonna go find Emily." I said with an eye roll walking away.

"Hey! Wait… she's got a sister." Dean said with a wink. I continued to walk off and try to spot Emily. Unsurprisingly she's hanging over a pool table surrounded by guys, shirt unbuttoned halfway. God. My siblings have no class. How did I end up stuck with these two?!

"Emily. What the hell are you doing?" I asked when I grabbed her by the shoulder and swung her around to face me.

"I'm hustling these fine gentlemen, and I'm winning. So if you don't mind…." She said hinting that I was standing between her and the pool table.

"Could you at least put those things away, I'm sure every guy here would stick around if you snapped just a button or two. Its not like they need air to breathe."

She rolled her eyes and leaned over the table as she made another shot, pretending to sink the wrong ball. A guy comes around and drapes an arm around her, leaning on her and a pool stick for support, reeking of whiskey.

"Dude. Do you mind?" I said pulling her back towards me.

"Sammy chill! This guy is totally hot!" She scolded me.

 **(Present Day. Emily's POV)**

"Whoa whoa whoa. I don't think so Sam! I shoved that guy off myself! I never said he was hot!" I yelled, interrupting Sam's story and preparing to lunge at him.

"Yes you did! I was probably the only sober one that night don't you think I'd remember?" Sam yelled back.

"No! You weren't! I had one beer the whole night. I'm pretty sure that means I was sober as well, and I would DAMN sure remember if it was a hot guy oogling my tits and not some drunk asshole."

"Okay. Can we just leave the words oogling and tits out of the same sentence when you're in my presence?" Bobby asked cringing.

"Sorry Bobby…" I mumbled.

"Yeah. That's not how any of that happened." Dean jumped in.

"No? So you never drank a purple nurple?" Sam asked with eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, maybe that, but I don't say things like "feisty little wildcat". And her name wasn't Starla."

"Then what was it?" Sam asked knowing he couldn't answer it. Dean never remembers the girl's names.

"I don't know. But she was a classy chick. She was a grad student, anthropology and folklore. We were talking about local ghost stories." Dean said matter of factly and turning to Bobby instead of Sam.

 **(Dean's POV, Flashback to the same bar.)**

"Here's to..." The hot blonde started to say as she raised a glass.

"Here's to us." I finished for her. Knowing that I've got this one in the bag.

"My god, you are attractive." She said as we both threw back the shot. I humbly smiled.

"Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please. Lives are at stake." I told her in all seriousness.

"Sorry, I just… can't even concentrate. It's like staring... into the sun." She said her eyes gazing into mine. She reached up and pulled in for a kiss but suddenly we were interrupted.

"Dean! What do you think you're doing?" Sam asked prissily as he crossed his arms and scolded us.

"Sam, please. If you wouldn't mind, give me five minutes here." I asked smoothly.

I leaned back in but was interrupted again.

"Dean. I need some money." Emily said patting me on the shoulder.

"What?" I asked her confused.

"Come on. Spot me fifty bucks… I got these guys waiting on a game. I know I can take em, I just need the cash."

"Emily. Can't you see I'm a little busy here." I said motioning the woman in front of me. Emily huffed and rolled her eyes before walking away empty handed. I went to lean in once more for the kiss but Sam wasn't gonna let me seal the deal on this one.

"Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don't have any time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah Blah!"

I leaned in and kissed her anyways.

 **(Present Day. Emily's POV)**

"Right! And that's how it really happened. I don't sound like that, Dean!" Sam interrupted sarcastically.

"That's what you sound like to me." Dean mumbled.

"…and me sometimes." I added. Sam glared at me.

"Okay. What's going on with you three?" Bobby asked.

"Nothing. No- it's nothing." Sam answered frustrated.

"No, come on. You're all bickering like an old married couple."

"No, see married couples can get divorced. I'm stuck with these two.. like.. like. Siamese triplets!" I said exasperated.

"It's conjoined triplets!" Sam quickly and rudely corrected me.

"See what I mean?" Dean said motioning over to us.

"Look, it." Sam sighed. "We've just been on the road for too long. Tight quarters, all that. Don't worry about it."

"Okay." Bobby said hesitantly.

"So anyway. We figured it might be a haunting, so we went to check out the scene of the crime." I began.

 **(Flash back to the office, Emily's POV)**

"So, how long've you been working here?" Sam asked the janitor politely.

"I've been mopping this floor for six years. There you go, guys." He said as he opened the door and held it for us, winking at me as I entered. He's not hard to look at if I'm being honest. Way too old for me… but whatever.

"What the heck's that for?" He asked when Dean pulled out an EMF reader.

"Just find a wire in the walls." He explained.

"Huh. Wow. Not sure why you're wiring up this office. Not gonna do the professor much good." "

"Why's that?"

"He's dead."

"Oh. What happened?" I asked faking my surprised reaction.

"He went out that window. Right there."

"Yeah? Were you working that night?" Sam asked.

"I'm the one who found him."

"That must have been hard… You see it happen?" I asked reaching out and putting a hand on his arm to show sympathy. He smiled at me kindly and placed his hand over mine.

Sam coughed and glared at me to let go, Dean was distracted stuffing his face full of nuts off of the table.

"Nope. I just saw him come up here, and uh ... well."

"What?" Dean asked noticing his hesitance.

"He wasn't alone."

Dean walked over stuffing his face and carrying around the bowl of nuts.

"Who was he with?" he asked with his mouthful. I swear. He's like a giant toddler. No manners what so ever.

 **(Present day, Emily's POV)**

"Come on! I ate one, maybe two!" Dean argued cutting me off.

"Just let me tell it, okay?" I snapped.

"No! You're making shit up. And you were all kinds of handsy on the janitor. You were acting like some kind of gold digger!"

"Oh! Right! Yeah cause the college janitor must be ROLLING in money every night. You're such a dumbass Dean!"

"Alright now that's enough. Someone finish this damn story before we all die of old age." Bobby said ending our argument.

"I think I can take it from here." Sam said stepping up to Bobby in front of Dean and I.

 **(Flashback to office, Sam's POV)**

"He was with a young lady. I told the cops about her, but uh, I guess they never found her."

"You saw this girl go in, huh? But did you ever see her come out?" I asked him.

"Now that you mention it, no." He said looking over to Emily. Surely he realizes he's like twice her age… or more. I coughed to get his attention again.

"You ever see her before, around?"

"Well, not her."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, still stuffing his face.

"I don't mean to cast aspersions on a dead guy, but uh… Mister Morality here? He brought a lot of girls up here. Got more ass than a toilet seat." The janitor explained bluntly. Dean and Emily laughed at his analogy and he winked again at Em. I expected her to be grossed out, but instead she blushed. What the hell? This dudes like 40?!

"One more thing. This building, it only has four stories, right?" I asked bringing us back to the case since I seem to be the only one trying to solve it.

"Yeah."

"So there wouldn't be a room six-six-nine?"

"'Course not. Why do you ask?"

"Uh, just curious. Thanks."

"You know… six and nine happen to be two of my favorite numbers." Dean said with a grin as he tossed in more nuts.

"Ew. Dean… upstairs brain." Emily said smacking him in the back of the head, causing him to spit nuts out onto the floor.

We headed back to the motel room from there before my siblings could manage to embarrass me any further then they already have.

"Well, no traces of EMF, that's for sure." Emily said as I got us all a beer- or root beer, out of the fridge.

"And the room six-six-nine's a load of crap." Dean said sounding disappointed.

"So what do you think? The professor's just a jumper? A legend's just a legend?" I asked sitting down at the table.

"I don't know. I mean, the uh, girl the janitor described, that's pretty weird." Emily said.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"We oughta check out the history of the building. See if any co-ed ganked herself there." Dean suggested.

"Yeah, you're right." I reached down and pulled out my laptop, Dean left for the bathroom and Emily went to lay on the bed and text who I assume to be Luke. She always smiles when she talks to him.

"Dude. Were you on my computer Dean?" I yelled, he stepped out of the bathroom confused.

"No." He answered slowly.

"Oh really? 'Cause it's frozen now. On uh, ." I said turning it towards them.

"Oh ewww.. Come on Sam I don't want to know what kind of porn my brothers watch!" Emily yelled burying herself under a blanket.

Dean appeared to think on it for a minute before smiling… then wincing, then frowning and turning back into the bathroom. Well I guess that's a yes.

"Dean! Would you - just - don't touch my stuff anymore, okay?"

"Why don't you control your O.C.D.?" He shot back.

"Why don't you both shut up!" Emily called form under the blankets.

 **(Present Day Emily's POV)**

"But did you dig up anything about the building? Or on the suicidal co-ed?" Bobby asked.

"No. History's clean." I said.

"Then it's not a haunting. "

"Maybe not. Tell you the truth, we're not really sure." Dean admitted.

"What do you mean, you're not sure?"

"Well ... it's weird." Sam added.

"What's weird?"

"This next part, we uh, we didn't see it happen ourselves exactly, but it's pretty friggin weird. Even for us. That kid Curtis… from the bar. He was um. Uh. Abducted?... By. Aliens. According to him anyways. I mean… I don't know. But he sounded legit." Dean explained awkwardly knowing how ridiculous this all sounded.

"Aliens?" Bobby asked suspiciously.

"Yeah."

"Aliens?"

"Yeah."

"Look, even if they are real, they're sure as hell not coming to earth and swiping people." Bobby said confidently looking at us like we're a bunch of idiots.

"Hey, believe me. We know." Sam said.

"My whole life i've never found evidence of an honest-to-God abduction. It's all just cranks and pranks."

"Yeah, that's what we thought. But...we figured we'd at least talk to the guy."

 **(Flashback to the bar Emily's POV)**

"Hey, you ought to give those purple nurples a shot." Dean suggested as the bartender laid out a row of colorful shots in front of us.

"So, what happened, Curtis?" Sam asked him. I sat quietly behind him, listening.

"You won't believe me. Nobody does."

"Give us a chance." I suggested.

"I do not want this in the papers." He said firmly.

"Off the record, then." Dean said hands up as if he were surrendering.

"I, uh... I blacked out, and...I lost time, and when I woke up, I don't know where I was."

"Then what?" Sam said urging him to continue.

"They did tests on me. And, uh..." He paused taking a shot.

"They, uh... They probed me."

Sam turned, struggling not to laugh out loud. His face caused me to have to turn away and stifle a laugh myself.

"They probed you?" Dean asked, also struggling to keep a straight face.

"Yeah, they probed me. Again and a- Again and - And again." He took another shot. "And again and again and again... And then one more time."

"Yikes." Dean said with a mix of disgust and humor on his face.

"And that's not even the worst of it." Curtis said taking another shot.

"How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch." Dean said with a smirk. At that I couldn't hold it together and a small snort made its way out of my mouth. I quickly covered it with my hand. Earning a glare from Curtis. Dean's smirk quickly fell aswell.

"They... They made me... Slow dance!" He said as he downed another shot.

 **(Present Day Emily's POV)**

"You guys are exaggerating again, huh?" Bobby asked with eyebrows raised.

"No no." We all said honestly.

"Then this frat boy's just nuts."

"We're not so sure Uncle Bobby." I said slowly.

"See we uh… we found. Um… not really a crop circle. But. Some kind of marking made by some sort of jet engine, in the form of a set of perfect circles. Exactly where the kid said he was abducted from. It was weird. So we kept digging." Dean said.

 **(Flashback to interviewing a student, Dean's POV)**

"So, you and this guy, Curtis - You were in the same house?" I asked the kid.

"Yeah."

"You heard what happened to him, right?"

"Yeah, he says it was aliens, but, you know, whatever."

"Look, man, I - I know this all has to be so hard." Sam said to him full of deep concern.

"Um, not so much." The guy said nonchalantly.

"But I want you to know... I'm here for you. You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here." Sam said reaching out and pulling him into a hug.

"You're too precious for this world." Sam whispered as he rocked them back and forth. Emily standing behind them staring in disgust, as was I.

 **(Present Day, Emily's POV)**

"I never said that!" Sam stood up and yelled.

"You're always saying pansy stuff like that." Dean retorted.

"Em. A little help here?" Sam said turning to me.

"Well… you didn't say or do that… but you are a little on the soft side. But. I mean. I like you that way Sammy." I said with a shrug. He shook his head back and forth and rolled his eyes mumbling something incoherently, pretty sure it wasn't friendly though.

 **(Flashback to the interview, Dean's POV)**

"Well, um... Yeah, uh, thanks." The guy said as Sam released him from the hug. "Thanks for the hug, but, uh, I'm okay. Really. To tell you the truth, whatever happened to Curtis, he had it coming."

"Why is that?" Emily asked him.

"He's our pledge master. Put us through hell this semester, and got off on it. So now he knows how we feel."

"Ah. I see." Emily said nodding.

"Hey um, I know this is kinda weird, but um. Can I have your number?" He asked looking Emily up and down.

"Dude! She's 16!" I said quickly shutting him down, he walked away swiftly. Emily just rolled her eyes at me.

"Oh come on, he wasn't even good looking! You weren't gonna give him your number anyways. I did your ass a favor. And next time we come to a college campus you're wearing a hoodie the whole time!" I said as she walked ahead of me.

"Dean shut up." She mumbled.

We made it back to the hotel room to regroup and figure out our next move from there.

"Still doesn't make a lick of sense. But, hey, at least there's one connection." I said.

"Between what?" Sam asked confused.

"The victims. The professor and the frat guy - They're both dicks."

"So are you… that's not really a connection." Emily said snarkily.

"You got anything better to go on, i'd love to hear it." I said with eyebrows raised.

"Where's my laptop?" Sam asked interrupting us.

"I don't know." Emily and I both said, he continued to search.

"Think about it Em. A philandering professor gets a dead girl. A pledge master gets hazed."

"I left it in here." Sam said frustrated.

"You obviously didn't." Emily told him before turning back to me.

"I mean, these punishments—they're almost poetic. Actually, it'd be more like a limerick, but still –" I tried but was cut off.

"Dean. Stop trying to sound like Sam." She said with a sigh.

"Okay, hilarious. Ha ha. Where'd yall hide it?" Sam asked stepping between us.

"What, your computer?" I asked him.

"Yeah, where'd you hide it?"

"Why would i take your computer?"

"Fine. Emily. Where is it."

"Sam. IF I was going to fuck with something of yours to be mean. It wouldn't be as obvious as your computer." Geez. She's acting like a real bitch today.

"Well it had to have been one of you!"

"Why's it gotta be us?!" I asked him.

"Because no one else could have, Dean! We keep the door locked. We never let any maids in".

"Looks like you lost it, Poindexter." I said sitting down with my beer.

"Dude, you know something? I put up with a lot from you. From both of you."

"What are you talking about? I'm a joy to be around." I stated. Emily scoffed and rolled her eyes at us before looking back down at her phone.

"Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink, your food in the fridge. Emily's music, that damn phone going off all the time. I mean seriously. How long does one conversation between you and Luke last?!"

"Fine! I'll just take my conversation outside." Emily snapped before getting up and walking out. Slamming the door behind her.

"What's wrong with my food?" I asked.

"It's not food anymore, Dean! It's Darwinism. All I ask from you, the one thing, is that you don't mess with my stuff!"

"You done?" I asked flatly.

"You know, how would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?" He asked me crossing his arms. Oh. Oh he wouldn't dare….. would he?

"It'd be the last thing you ever did." I warned.

 **(Present Day, Emily's POV)**

"Did either of you take his computer?" Bobby asked rolling his eyes.

"Serves him right, but, no." Dean answered, then they all looked to me.

"Again. If I was going to sabotage you, it wouldn't be as simple as losing your computer. I've got a little more up my sleeve." I said with an evil grin. Sam glared at me.

"Well, I didn't lose it. 'Cause i don't lose things."

"Oh, that's right, yeah, 'cause he's Mr. Perfect." Dean said.

"Okay, okay. Why don't you just tell me what happened next?" Bobby said finishing this before it got any further.

"There was one more victim." I said. "The cops wouldn't release cause of death cause… well. They had no clue what it was. So we snuck in to check out the body for ourselves."

 **(Flashback to morgue, Emily's POV)**

Dean tossed down his flashlight to us as he carefully opened and snuck in the window, we passed him back the light and followed quickly behind him. When we were all in, we found the drawer with the vic's tag. Dean pulled it open and grimaced.

"Well, this oughta be quick." He said. I had to turn away as they carefully peeled off the bloody sheets. What lied underneath them wasn't even recognizable as a body. I clutched onto Dean's arm and held my breath. Squeezing my eyes shut.

"OK, that is just nasty." Dean said.

"Uh, yeah." Sam agreed holding his hand over his nose.

"Mutilated?" I asked unable to look still, trying to bury myself in the back of Dean's jacket.

"Looks to me like something was hungry." Sam answered.

"They identify him yet?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, uh, a research scientist at the college. Guess where his office was, by the way. Crawford Hall, same as the professor."

"That's right where the frat boy had his close encounter." I added trying to hold down puke.

"Yeah. Hey, grab me that thing, would you?" Sam said. I looked up to see him pointing at the magnigying light, I handed it to him and caught a glimpse of what was left of the body.

"Oh.. god.. I just. I can't." I said and buried myself into Dean's jacket again. I could feel my breathing pick up some. Please no... Not here. Not now.

"Thanks." Sam said.

"What is it?" Dean asked after a minute. Unaware that I was trying not to hyperventilate into his jacket.

"What's what?" I asked since my eyes were still closed.

"Looks like a... A belly scale?"

"A belly scale? From what?" I asked nervously.

"Uh... An alligator?" Sam answered.

"An alligator in the sewer. Come on." Dean said unconvinced.

"What? Well, Dean, it's a classic urban legend. A kid flushes a baby gator down the toilet, and it grows huge in the tunnels."

"But no one's ever really found one. I mean, th - they're not real."

"Well, neither's alien abduction, but something chomped on this guy."

"This couldn't get any weirder." I huffed.

"Maybe we should get some help. I'll call Bobby. Maybe he's run into something like this before." Sam suggested.

"Oh, I'm sure he has. Just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig. Yeah, it's simple." Dean said sarcastically.

I could feel it building. I could feel my chest getting tighter. I could feel everything in me go on overdrive, all senses heightened. Feeling like I was preparing to fight or flight.

"Okay. Can we please leave now." I begged slightly out of breath. The boys finally caught on to what I was trying to hold back. Dean turned and wrapped an arm over me. He led me out to the window while Sam put the body back. He climbed out first and I followed after, jumping to him so that he could steady me.

"You good kiddo?" He asked me.

"Yeah. I think so. I just… I don't know. I couldn't handle it."

"Well it was pretty brutal. I think that would send most people into a fit." He said pushing the hair out of my face. Sam was out the window and next to us moment's later.

"Em you okay?"

"Yeah. It stopped."

"Okay, lets get you out of here." He said leading us away from he morgue, an arm wrapped around me. For the first time since he was back I didn't feel the need to leave him and go to Dean. I felt like Sam could keep me safe too. I really need to tell him…

We decided to search the sewer anyway, so we split up, each taking one end of campus. I went with Dean and Sam went alone. When Dean and I emerged from the sewer's empty handed we walked over to the impala. It wasn't until Dean froze in his spot I noticed them.

"Son of a bitch!" He yelled circling the car and seeing all 4 tires flat. I walked over to where he finally stopped and found something laying on the ground. I picked it up and found it was a money clip, with the letters S.W. engraved on it.

"Um… De." I said handing it to him. He looked at it and went red in the face with anger.

"SAM!" He yelled.

When we got back to the hotel room Sam was already there and was reading. Dean barged in the door, me following behind him.

"You think this is funny?"

"It depends. What?"

"Th-th-th-the car!" Dean yelled frustrated.

"What about the car?" Sam asked confused. I sat back to watch the firework show.

"You can't let the air out of the tires, you idiot. You're gonna bend the rims!"

"Whoa, wait a minute. I didn't go near your car."

"Oh, yeah? Huh. Then how'd I find this?" Dean said holding up Sam's money clip, with at least 200 bucks cash in it.

"Hey. Give me back my money!"

"Oh, no, no. Consider it reparations. For, uh, emotional trauma."

"Yeah, very funny. Now, give it back." Sam said reaching for it, Dean pulled back away from him.

"No." He said flatly.

"Dean, I have had it up to here with you."

"Yeah? Right back at you!" Sam reached again for the money and it led to a scuffle that landed both boys tackling each other onto the bed, then onto the floor like children. I laughed in amusement watching them. Then a buzz in my pocket distracted me. I was hoping it was Luke, I hadn't hear from him all day.

I looked down and smiled when I saw his name, I opened his message.

Luke: Hahahaha!

Me: I don't get… what's so funny?

Luke: Your picture! You're so cute! Lol!

Me:… what picture?

Luke: The one you sent me last night.

Um. I didn't send him anything. I quickly scrolled back in our messages until I found it. I gasped and my jaw fell damn near to the floor. It was a picture of me asleep with my mouth wide open, I'M GONNA KILL THEM!

"Hey!" I yelled ending their scuffle and grabbing both their attention.

"Which one of you assholes did this!" I demanded showing them the phone. They both laughed and separated.

"Nice selfie kiddo." Dean joked.

"Which one of you did it!" I yelled again.

"Did what Emily?" Sam asked with his arms out.

"Which one of you fucktards sent this to Luke last night?!" I asked fuming.

"Hey. Don't look at us. We didn't touch your phone." Dean said crossing his arms defensively.

"Well it didn't do it by itself!" I yelled.

"Maybe you did it without realizing. You have to be smarter than the equipment you're working with." Sam said snidely.

I quickly stood up and began throwing things at them, anything I could reach, bottles, trash, shoes. I could have killed them both I was so angry!

 **(Present day Emily's POV)**

"You showed up about an hour afterwards…" I said to Bobby feeling irritated all over again at the situation.

"I'm surprised at you three. I really am. Sam, first off, Dean and Emily did not steal your computer."

"But I-" He started.

"Shh, shh, shh, shh! And, Dean, Sam did not touch your car." Bobby said standing up and holding out his hand to shush Sam.

"Yeah!" Sam yelled to Dean.

"And Emily for goodness sakes neither of these boys touched your phone."

"Well then who did!" I said exasperated.

"if you three bothered to pull your heads outta your asses, it all would have been pretty clear." Bobby said crossing his arms and giving us all scolding looks.

"What?" Dean asked?

"What you're dealing with."

"Uh..." Sam said trying to come up with something. I shrugged looking between the three men in the room.

"I got nothing." Dean admitted.

"Me neither." Sam added, I just shook my head. I'm stumped.

"You got a trickster on your hands." Bobby finally said.

"That's what I thought." Dean said snapping his fingers.

"Oh shut up. You did not." I said.

"I got to tell you... you guys were the biggest clue." Bobby explained.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"These things create chaos and mischief as easy as breathing, and it's got you so turned around and at each other's throats, you can't even think straight."

"The laptop." Sam sighed.

"The tires." Dean mumbled.

"…and lastly the phone." I added.

"It knows you're onto him, and it's been playing you like fiddles."

"So, what is it, what, a spirit, demon, what?" Dean asked.

"Well, more like demigods, really. There's Loki in Scandinavia. There's Anansi in West Africa. Dozens of them. They're immortal, and they can create things out of thin air. Things as real as you and me. Make them vanish just as quick."

"You mean like an angry spirit or an alien or an alligator?" I asked.

"The victims fit the M.O., too. Tricksters target the high and the mighty, knock them down a peg, usually with a sense of humor - deadly pranks, things like that."

"Bobby, what do these things look like?" Sam asked.

"Lots of things, but human, mostly."

"And what human do we know who's been at ground zero this whole time?" Dean said finally putting this together. It took me a minute, but I finally caught onto to what he was hinting at.

"Sorry I'm dragging a little ass today. Had quite the night last night. Lots of sex, if you catch my drift." The "janitor" said winking at me. I felt much more uncomfortable this time then the last. This guy is no longer double my age, he's probably hundreds of years old. I clung to Sam and tried to hide my disgust.

"Yeah, hard not to. Listen, we won't be long." Dean said trying to bite back his tongue, not wanting to blow our story. "We just need to check a couple offices up on three."

"No problem."

"I, uh, forgot something in the truck. You know what? I'll catch up with you guys." Sam said, I followed behind Dean and the "janitor".

"Okay. There ya go. All offices open." He said to Dean and I as he began to leave us, I know Sam needs more time to rummage through his stuff so I had to think of something to distract him.

"Um. Wait!" I said. Then I instantly regretted it.

"Uh, I would. Just.. love it. If you could give me a hand, you know, don't wanna break a nail digging around in here." I said awkwardly trying to put on a seductive grin. I reached out and ran my fingers along his arm. The man smiled at me.

"Lead the way maam."

We pretended to check behind bookcases in two of the offices, and I figured that was enough time. We quickly made our way back down the stairs.

"Ugh. I've got the heebie jeebies." I said shuddering at the thought of the man.

"Yeah. I hate when you do that. A little warning next time." Dean said.

"Sorry. I panicked, and it just… I don't know. Trust me. I didn't want to. It was just the only thing I could think of to keep his attention."

"You know. You are only 16 Em… you shouldn't be doing things like that. I get that you're trying to help the case, but you're my little sister. So please stop flirting on the job. Even if it is just to buy us some time." Dean said seriously. I was a little surprised, I guess I shouldn't be since this is Dean we're talking about. But usually he lets me do the job and doesn't interfere until someone gets handsy.

"Dean. Come on. If I was anyone else then you would be fine with it. You would encourage it because you know it works. You've got your skill set and I've got mine." I said crossing my arms.

"Yeah but mine doesn't have the letters "DD" on it. And you're not anyone else. You're my sister. I mean it. Cut that shit out." He said cutting me off at the bottom of the stairs and giving me the "dad" look.

"Fine." I sighed. He led us back out to meet Sam. He reached out and handed us one of those crazy newspapers you see at gas stations full of photo shopped pics and bullshit stories.

"Just 'cause he reads the Weekly World News doesn't mean he's our guy. I mean, you read it, too." Sam said to Dean.

"I'm telling you, it's him." Dean replied sure of his conclusion.

"Look, I just think we need some hard proof. That's all."

"Okay, another thing Bobby mentioned was that these suckers have a metabolism like an insect, a real sweet tooth."

"Well, I didn't find any candy bars or sugar. Not even Equal."

"Eh, that's probably 'cause you missed something."

"I don't miss things."

"Oh, right, 'cause you're Mr. Perfect."

I sighed… great. Here we go again.

"What? Are you really still pissed at me 'cause of what the trickster did?"

"You've been a tight ass long before that trickster showed up."

"Dean… drop it. Please." I said ending the fight before it got any more annoying.

"Look, just...stay here, keep an eye on the janitor. I'll go to his place to see if I can find any actual evidence before you go barging in and staking the man! Just wait till I get back, okay?" Sam said frustrated.

"Okay!" Dean yelled back.

"Emily stay with him and make sure he doesn't go off and kill an innocent man." Sam said before walking off. I rolled my eyes. These two are never gonna stop.

Dean and I had been sitting outside the building for over an hour now. Its dark outside and I can tell his patience is wearing thin.

"Ah, screw this." He said getting out of the car.

"Dean! Sam said to wait for him."

"Oh. I'm sorry. You're letting Sam boss you around now?"

"No. I'm not. I'm just trying to be smart about this! We need to be sure."

"I am sure. You coming or what?" He said getting a flashlight out of the trunk.

"Ugh! You are unbelievable." I mumbled following him into the building.

I stayed close behind him, he handed me a wooden stake and kept one for himself, we ascended the last of the staircase and stopped at the top. Music… there was music playing in the theatre. Dean tucks the stake away and I slide mine behind my back, he slowly opens the door.

When he does, the sight is unbelievable. On the stage is a large round bed with two beautiful women on it. Music in the background and a disco ball throwing colorful lights all around the room. Dean began to walk towards the stage.

"Dean! Dean come back!" I whisper yelled but he was too absorbed in the sight in front of him to notice me.

"We've been waiting for you, Dean." One of the women said as they crawled towards him when he reached the stage. Oh god… I can't be here for this.

"Dean!" I yelled again trying to get his attention.

"Y-Y-You guys aren't real." Dean mumbled.

"Trust me, sugar, it's gonna feel real." The other girl says. Dean laughed.

"Come on. Let us give you a massage." One girl said reaching for his shoulders. He stood there for a second before slowly pulling away.

"Wha... You know, I'm a - I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Really, I am, but... I-I'm gonna have to pass." He said slowly.

"They're a peace offering." A voice from the other side of the theatre calls. I quickly duck behind a chair. Hoping he hasn't seen me yet. "I know what you and your family do. I've been around a while. Run into your kind before."

"Well, then you know that I... can't let you just keep hurting people." Dean said turning to face the trickster.

"Come on! Those people got what was coming to them. Hoisted on their own petards. But you and Sam and Emily - I like you. I do. So treat yourself... Long as you want. Just long enough for me to move on to the next town."

"Yeah, i don't think I can let you do that."

"I don't wanna hurt you. And you know that I can."

"Look, man, I - I got to tell you, I dig your style, all right? I mean. I do. I mean." Dean whistled. " ... and the slow-dancing alien." Dean said chuckling.

"One of my personal favorites. Yeah."

"But, uh, I can't let you go."

"Too bad. Like I said, I like you. Sam was right. You two shouldn't have come alone." The trickster said as he turned and looked towards me. Knowing I've been made I stood up and descended the stairs making my way towards him and Dean.

"Well, I'll agree with you there." Dean grinned. Suddenly the doors to the theatre slam shut and Bobby and Sam enter with stakes of their own.

"That fight you guys had outside - that was a trick?" The trickster asked us. I smiled and winked at him. "Hm. Not bad. But you want to see a real trick?" He asked.

A loud noise sounded form behind us and I looked over to see a masked man with a chainsaw attack Sam, then Dean was attacked by the same two women that were seducing him only moments ago. I look back up and Bobby and Sam are grapple with the chainsaw man. Looked back down to the trickster.

He was laughing and eating a sandwich.

"Hey. Smartass." I yelled. Getting his attention.

"What about me huh? You think I'm not good enough for a fight?"

"Oh no. You. I know you can fight. Besides… I wouldn't wanna harm a hair on that pretty little head." He said with another wink.

I charged at him and we wrestled for a few minutes, he managed to pin me into a chair and my grip on the stake loosened as it fell to the ground.

"Oh Emily… I didn't want to have to do this." He said sadly as he straightened up. I sat quietly, keeping his gaze on me as Dean got into position.

"Me neither." I said as Dean rammed the stake through his body. The man with the chainsaw and both of the women disappear. The trickster falls to the floor dead.

"You guys okay?" I asked as Sam and Bobby made their way down to us.

"Yeah. I guess." Sam answered.

"Well, I gotta say... he had style." Dean admitted.

"Yeah. And a thing for Emily." Sam added.

"Ew." I mumbled.

"Bobby, thanks a lot. We really couldn't've-"

"Hey, save it! Let's just get the hell out of dodge before somebody finds that body."

"Yeah." We all agreed going back out to the cars. Sam stopped before getting in.

"Look, Dean, Emily, um... I just want to say that I'm, uh... Um..."

"Hey. Me too." Dean said.

"Well since neither of you are gonna actually say the word I will. I'm sorry." I said.

"You guys are breaking my heart. Could we please just leave?" Bobby said killing the moment. We all laughed and drove back to the motel.

Bobby left from there and we were packing up our things in the room.

"Hey what do you say we stick around one more night." Sam suggested.

"Fine by me. Its Friday night and the bar's gonna be full of coeds." Dean said with bright eyes.

"De. Upstairs brain… just for one day." I sighed. The boys both laughed at me.

"If we're going out I need to get changed." I said pulling back out the clothes I had just packed away.

"Alright, we'll leave when you're ready." Dean said.

I took my clothes and walked into the bathroom. I was about to walk out when the phone on the counter buzzed. I picked it up. Luke.

When I opened it I found a picture of him making the most horrid face I'd ever seen. I laughed out loud. It buzzed again immediately.

Luke: There. Now you won't feel so bad. You can laugh at me all you want.

Me: You're kinda perfect.

Luke: You're kinda cute when you sleep.

Me: Yeah. Delete that. Now.

Luke: Lol. Yes maam.

Me: How do I know you deleted it?

Luke: Guess you'll just have to trust me… do you?

Me: Of course I do.

Luke: Then why do you keep everything a mystery.

Me: Because I have to.

Luke: Ok

Me: Luke.. come on. Its not like that. I trust you. I do. I just… can't tell you some things.

Luke: Yeah. I'm going to bed, goodnight babe.

Me: Night. Sweet dreams.

I sighed and placed the phone in my back pocket. I mean honestly how long can I keep this up? How long is he going to be okay with being kept in the dark? He's getting more and more impatient about it lately. I'm running out of excuses.

I shake my head and try to clear my mind of it, not wanting to let it ruin my night. I walk out and give a half smile to the boys.

"Ready." I said.

Dean nodded but narrowed his eyes at me slightly. I looked away from him and walked out to the impala. When we pulled up to the bar it was like Dean predicted, packed with college students. Which I guess I couldn't expect it not to be when its only 10 minutes off campus.

We grabbed a table and ordered drinks. Dean began to scope out his next victim and Sam tapped my arm.

"Hm?" I asked turning to him.

"Bartender says its karaoke night. No cash winnings or anything. But you know… if you wanted to."

"Sam.. come on. We talked about this."

"Talked about what?" Dean asked butting in.

"Its karaoke night, and I signed Emily up." Sam said nonchalantly taking a drink of his beer.

"YOU DID WHAT?!" I asked shocked.

"I signed you up. Em. Come on… its been months. You used to love this. I know you still do. I don't get why you're avoiding it."

"Because I fucking can Sam! Its none of your damn business what I do or don't want to deal with. It's not hurting anyone so why don't you just leave it be!"

"Em. Chill out. He's doing you a favor. If you're not pushed, you won't do it again." Dean said matter of factly.

"I can't believe you're backing him on this. You two are unbelievable. I'm not getting on that stage."

"Em what is the big deal! Are you afraid?" Sam asked.

"No! I'm not afraid Sam!"

"Well then what? I mean come on kiddo. Give me something to work with here. You don't just give up on things… You said you stopped cause we were busy. Well tonight we're not busy."

I stared at him. He was so determined. I don't get it. Why does this even matter? How is it of any importance when we've got bigger issues on our hands.

"Sam. Please. Don't make me do this…" I said quietly. All trace of anger left my voice.

"Emily you gotta talk to me. Let me help you." He said squeezing my hand. Dean must have selected his winner for the night because he stood up and walked over to a group of 3 women at the bar. I sighed and looked back to Sam.

"He's not gonna show up." I whispered.

"What?" He asked confused.

"He's not gonna show up… He's not gonna come through the door and surprise me. He's not gonna hug me and tell me he's proud."

"…Dad." Sam said finally realizing who I was talking about.

"You know. When I started doing this. That's what I always pictured. That's what I always wanted. At the end of every single one. I wanted him to magically appear. To see me. Now… now that can't happen."

"Emily Dad was so proud of you. Kiddo you should have seen him that night. His eyes were glued to you, nothing could tear them away." Sam said with a smile.

I felt that empty ache in my heart, the one that reminded me he was gone all the time. The one I always tried to shove back down. I miss my daddy so much.

"Sammy… I would give anything to see him one more time." I said feeling the stinging sensation build, I swallowed and looked up, stopping anything from falling.

"I know Em. I would too." He said. I scooted my chair closer and leaned against him. His arm fell over me and we sat in silence as we watched the first round of drunks take the stage. The first few were awful, the last one not so bad.

"Next up we have Dana Smith, then on deck we have Emily Winchester." The DJ called over the bar.

I sat up and sighed. Burying my face in my hands.

"What do you say Em?" Sam asked me.

"I don't know if I can do it Sammy." I whispered.

"That's okay. Because I do. And I know you'll kick ass at it like you do everything else."

I looked up to him and half smiled.

"I don't even know what to sing? I didn't have anything picked out."

"I don't think that's a problem Em… I think its just a matter of getting up and doing it."

"…Okay." I whispered. I stood up and walked toward the back of the stage, there was a list of songs to choose from. I scanned and scanned. Then one stuck out. Stevie Nicks- Landslide. One of my favorites.

I stood there, waiting for the song to finish, my eyes closed. Focusing on just the silence in my head. His face. It kept flashing through my mind… His smile, his eyes, the look on his face when I my eyes met his from the stage that night. I wanted nothing more then to walk out on that stage tonight and see him there.

The sound of applause and the DJ brought me out of my thoughts. I took a deep breath and waited till the blonde girl descended the stairs to make my way up them. I met the DJ halfway on the stage and took the mic from him, walking over and placing it on the stand, pulling up the stool to sit on.

I took another deep breath and tried to scan the room for my brothers.

The music started and I counted myself in, in my head.

" _I took my love and I took it down."_

" _Climbed a mountain and I… turned around."_

" _And then I saw my reflection in the. Snow. Covered hills… till the landslide brought me down."_

" _Oh mirror in the sky, what is love?"_

" _Can the child within my heart rise above?"_

" _Can I sail through the changing ocean tides? Can I handle the seasons of my life..."_

I looked up and finally locked with familiar green eyes. He was surrounded by the same 3 girls he was with before I got on the stage, but he paid them no attention. Instead he held my gaze and smiled. The same way daddy did. I felt my heart ache, and looked down.

" _Well I've been afraid of changing, cause I. Built my life… around you."_

" _Time gets bolder, even, children get older… I'm getting older too."_

This time when I looked up the eyes I met were hazel and not green. He was watching even more intently then Dean was. I half smiled at him, silently thanking him for making me get past this. For giving this back to me. Because as hard as this is… I missed it.

" _I take my love, take it down. I climb a mountain and turn around.."_

" _And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills."_

" _Will the landslide bring you down."_

" _And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills."_

" _Will the landslide bring you down, oh, oh…"_

" _The landslide will bring you down."_

The song finished out and I stood smiling at the applause of the audience, I went to walk off stage, but something told me to stop. As I did I looked up to the light that points at the stage. It was blindingly bright, but off to the side of it… I could almost swear I locked on big brown eyes. For that one split second, my heart felt full again. I walked off and closed my eyes. Savoring the feeling.

But when I opened them again I was back in a crowded bar… and he was still in hell.

That dull ache became almost crippling. I leaned my back against the wall away from anyone's line of sight and sat there. Waiting for the pain to dull again.


	36. Chapter 36

Author's Note: Okay so this is gonna be an original chapter that takes place WITH Folsom Prison Blues. Its super long, but I worked hard on it, and its my first attempt at a little smut. It's all about what Emily is up to while the boys are locked up on a case ;) … I also wanted to say thank you to Ladysunshine6 for inspiring this chapter with her ideas to add a little more drama! I hope it pleases you maam! Thank you everyone for reading, following, favoriting, and mostly for reviewing. I love to hear from everyone and am always up for requests. ALSO! Considering doing a side story for requests from the Winchester's childhood. Short one shots that could be written upon request about them growing up, or anything really that I can manage into a one shot. Let me know if anyone would be interested in that! Thanks for reading guys, love you all!

Disclaimer: MATURE CONTENT, also I own nothing but Emily… well and Luke.

"Luke I'm sorry. I don't know what else to tell you."

"Well can you at least tell me what state you're in?" He asked frustrated.

"Arkansas… we're in Arkansas."

"So what exactly brought you to Arkansas."

"Work. Like always."

"Right… exterminating. I still have never heard of traveling exterminators."

"Yeah well it's a specialty." I snapped.

"I just… I feel like you're always lying to me. I don't understand what could be that bad that you have to lie to me about it." No. you don't understand. You never will because you'll never know. And to be honest, I don't want you to know.

"Ughhh. I'm so sick of arguing. We've argued every time we talked for the last 4 days Luke. Can we please drop this."

"Yeah. Sure. Lets go back to only talking about me and my life."

"Luke please… It's been a long day. I just called because I wanted to hear your voice."

"Well why don't you tell me about it… Wait. I forgot. You can't." He said sarcastically.

"Luke that's not fair." I shot back.

"No… what's not fair is trying to maintain whatever the hell this is between us and not getting anything back. I try all the time to get you to open up to me. I don't understand why everything has to be such a damn secret. I don't keep anything from you!"

I know he's right. That's what makes this so hard.

"Luke… I'm just trying to spare you."

"From what!"

"From things you don't want to know about! From things that would scare the shit out of you! From things that could get you hurt! I don't want to drag you into all of that! You are the one part of my life that doesn't involve danger. Please. Let me keep it that way."

"What the hell is any of that supposed to mean! Come on babe. Throw me a bone here! Anything!"

"… I can't. Not without leaving you with more unanswered questions." I whispered sadly. I could hear him give an angry sigh. The phone was silent for a moment.

"Emily. Tell me something… anything. Or this conversation is over." His tone was so scolding, I didn't like being given an ultimatum and my temper flared.

"Well Luke, the grass is green, the sky is blue, and even in Arkansas the pigs don't fucking fly. That work for you?" I spat.

"Whatever." He huffed before hanging up.

Anger shot through my veins. I HATE being hung up on. Its so fucking childish.

"UGGH!" I screamed as I opened the motel door and walked in chunking my phone across the room. It hit the bathroom door on the other side of the room, falling apart on impact. I turned around and kicked the door shut before roughly leaning against it and sliding down to the floor.

The bathroom door slowly creaked open and a very cautious Sam peered around the edge, looking between me and the mangled phone on the floor. Dean who was sitting on his bed watching TV watched me out of the corner of his eye, pretending not to. Knowing that I needed a minute before it would be safe to approach me.

It was about 2 minutes before Dean turned off his TV and looked over in my direction.

"Sooo." He mused hesitantly.

"All I wanted to do is talk to him… I had a bad day. I just wanted to talk to him and feel better. But no… No. See I can't tell him that the entire reason I had a bad day is because we were hunting vampires last night and I'm pissed that I let one get away. I can't tell him that we only expected a nest of 4 or 5 and walked into a room of 10 of them because someone gave us shitty information. I can't tell him that I got thrown into a wall and busted up my shoulder. NO. I CANT TELL HIM ANY OF THAT!" I rambled.

Sam slowly walked out of the bathroom, walked over to me and extended a hand- helping me up off of the ground. I followed him and sat at the table across from Dean's bed, Sam beside me.

"Emily. Its hard. There were a lot of questions Jess would ask me about my past that I couldn't answer." Sam said tossing Dean a beer.

"So what did you do?"

"I told as much of the truth as I could, and just left out the parts about hunting. I told her we moved a lot. We lived in hotels and shitty apartments. But instead of hunting I told her Dad was a traveling salesman."

"Salesmen. Hmm.. I should have told him that. Guess traveling exterminators are a little hard to believe."

"Kiddo. If its too much then walk away from it. I don't hate the kid, he's nice. But if its causing you this much grief… is it really worth it? I mean you're 16. There's always gonna be another guy in another town." Dean said.

"I thought it was… but lately. Its just such a fight. Its hard trying to figure out exactly where we stand with each other when you never actually get to talk about it face to face."

"Well. Travel's part of the gig kiddo. We don't get to stay in one place for too long." Dean reminded me.

"But." Sam interrupted. "Maybe after this case we can go up there… I mean its only like 6 hours away."

"Really?" I asked surprised. I looked between Sam who was nodding and smiling, and Dean who was glaring at Sam for making the offer.

"Yeah. Sure. Just 6 hours." Dean said taking another drink.

"Do you think I'm stupid for even trying to make it work with a guy I'll hardly ever get to see." I asked quietly.

Sam and Dean answered simultaneously. One with a Yes and one with a No. Take a wild guess on who.

"Dean!" Sam scolded.

"What… I'm not gonna lie to her. This is getting messy. Its more of a hassle to her then anything else. I get she likes the guy, but she's 16. She like other guys. Let this one go, you don't need a relationship anyways."

I looked down at my hands disappointed. I know he's right… But. Part of me wants to fight for it anyways. Part of me want's to prove that I can maintain a relationship even as a hunter. That there's a future for me that ends with me not dying alone…

"Em. Look at me." Sam said, I slowly met eyes with him.

"You are not stupid. If this person makes you happy. Then its worth trying. But… the moment you're not happy anymore. Then yes, I agree with Dean. Let it go. But not until you decide to do so. Don't do anything just because Dean or I tell you to."

"What?! That's horrible advice. Listen to us… I mean, fine. Make your own decision here. But as a general rule. LISTEN to us."

"Dean." Sam sighed. "I'm pretty sure she's smart enough to realize I mean with this specific situation without you having to point it out."

I smiled and giggled at their banter.

"Lets just get some sleep… you two have a big day tomorrow." I said getting up and taking a shower.

"You sure you're gonna be okay on your own for a couple of days? I don't wanna leave you alone if you're upset." Dean asked as I climbed into the bed, Sam was already asleep sprawled out on his. "Hell I'm really not thrilled leaving you alone for two days anyways. Upset or not."

"Yeah I'll be fine." I said quietly. I really didn't want to be alone, but this was a job that I wouldn't be any help on. "I still hate this plan Dean. What if something goes wrong and you can't get out."

"Please. What jail has ever been able to hold me?" He smiled.

"None… YET." I criticized.

"We'll be fine kiddo… you know I really don't hate the kid. I didn't say what I said because I have something against him. I just. I don't want you to get hurt. I know this isn't easy on you… I appreciate Luke for cheering you up and making you smile… but. I also won't stand by and let him be the reason you cry. That's not okay, and I'll rip his lungs out."

"De! Stop it…" I giggled and pushed him playfully.

"I'm serious Em. No boy is getting away with breaking my little sister's heart. You've gotta be the heartbreaker here."

"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously though kiddo… Don't let this get you down. If its not working. Walk away. You're 16. Trust me when I say there are PLENTY of fish in the sea. Granted not all of them are attractive… But you don't have to worry about that. You hit the Winchester gene jackpot, you get to pick from the top of the barrel."

"Oh. The Winchester gene lottery is it?" I laughed.

"Damn right. Us Winchesters are highly desired. Trust me. I know."

"Oh Ew… Dean. I'm going to sleep on Sam's bed."

"Oh shut up. I'll stop…" He said rolling over.

"Thank you De."

"For what?"

"For loving me so much."

"Gnight kiddo." He said with a grin.

"Night."

The next day we slept in as late as possible knowing it would be the boy's last chance to get some good sleep for a couple of days. When I woke up I reassembled the dismantled phone and turned it on. I had a text message… Luke. Sent at 3 in the morning.

Luke: Hey I know you're probably asleep, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hung up. I'm just so frustrated. I wish you were here… I would give anything to see you right now.

That's when it hit me. 6 hours. He's only 6 hours away. Dean and Sam will be tied up for a couple of days, leaving me all to myself…

Me: Well maybe I could work a miracle or two. ;)

I put the phone down and went to get ready, letting the boys sleep in just a little longer. I showered, dressed, and took Dean's wallet to go get some breakfast. Mmm. Orange Juice and hashbrowns.

When I walked back in with food both boys were up drinking shitty coffee from the lobby.

"Do you have to ALWAYS take my wallet? I mean Sam's got money too." Dean said not bothering to look up from the paper he was reading.

"Hey. I got you good coffee. Just be thankful." I replied handing him his coffee and setting the food out on the table and taking a long swig of my OJ.

"Seriously, I better not hear you bitch about how much that hurts you later." He said pointing to the bottle as I set it on the table.

"Oh hush… its worth it. Besides I'll just pop an antacid."

"So what'd you get us?" Sam asked sitting down.

"Well I figured since it would be a while before you two got another good meal you deserved something special. So I have pancakes and hashbrowns, while you two get steak and eggs… and pancakes for Dean."

"Oh kiddo you know me so well." Dean said with bright eyes causing us all to chuckle.

"Hey uh, your phone went off a few times… Luke?" Sam asked.

I walked over and picked it up reading the messages.

Luke: Wait… are you for real?

Luke: Emily are you serious?

I smiled and texted him back.

Me: Brothers will be busy for a couple of days… I've got nowhere special to be.

"Well I guess that means you two made up." Dean grumbled while stuffing his face.

"Sorta. We'll just have to see."

"So what are you gonna do for two days on your own?" Sam asked.

My heart sped up just a little knowing my actual plans couldn't be talked about. The boys would flip shit and cancel the whole thing… "Umm, I don't know. Movies, sleeping in, ordering something other than pizza, Chinese, or burgers to eat."

"Hey. Don't hate on our incredible choices in food. You've never complained before." Dean cut in.

"I'm not complaining… just saying it might be nice to have some Italian or something… maybe even a nice salad."

"Oh, okay… You and Sammy can eat all the rabbit food you want. I'll stick to steak and eggs thanks."

Sammy rolled his eyes and I laughed.

"For real though… don't answer the door. Don't answer the phone. Don't do ANYTHING. There's a credit card on the counter and even though I'm taking baby as a getaway vehicle I snagged you keys to the old station wagon parked at the back of the lot. Emergencies ONLY! Got it?" Dean lectured.

"Doesn't sound like a problem, most stripper services send the dancers to your location anyways." I mocked.

Dean glared.

"Not funny." He added.

"I thought it was kinda funny." Sam mumbled, we did a sly fist bump and then continued to eat our breakfast in peace, until the phone dinged.

Luke: When can you be here?

Me: Tomorrow morning? I know it's a school day but if you don't mind calling in sick then I don't mind being a bad influence for the day.

Luke: Lol, not an issue at all…. You know. That umm. Thing we talked about last week. We could try that in person. ;)

My cheeks flushed and I felt tingly remembering the late night conversation we had last week, it was um. Inappropriate. To say the least. …don't judge. We're horny teenagers. We have needs. Besides, its nice to picture being with someone I actually care about and not some drunken desperate one night stand.

"Em." Sam's voice called me back. I jumped slightly and almost dropped the phone.

"Huh, hmm. Yeah?" I asked nervously. Sam looked at me puzzled, but Dean narrowed his eyes.

"…What are you two talking about?" Dean asked seriously.

"Nothing." I said defensively. Shit…

"You do realize it would take me an entire 2 seconds to A. rip the phone away from you and find out for myself or B. Have Sammy here hack it and read them behind your back.

"….You wouldn't." I said nervously.

"Oh sweetheart yes I would… with pleasure."

"Just. Stay out of my phone." I huffed getting up from the table.

Me: If you're gonna get me all hot and bothered, at least wait until I'm alone.

Luke: Sorry. Just can't help myself sometimes. So, I'll see you soon?"

Me: Yes. No lies.. I promise.

Luke: I'm gonna hold you to that Emily Anne Winchester.

Me: Just as long as you hold me.

Luke: I'll see you soon.

Me: See you soon.

The rest of the afternoon was spent preparing and finalizing details for the boy's case. Making sure we had a plan A,B, and C incase things get complicated. Then Dean made me call Bobby and let him know where I was incase things got bad. Bobby of course had no doubt as stupid as this plan is, we would be fine.

"Alright kiddo. Its almost dark, so we're heading out. Remember what I said… no one comes in or out. You call Bobby if you have any problems. We're leaving you with the weapons stash so whatever comes you should be able to handle… please. Be careful."

"I will De. I promise." I smiled, trying not to show my eagerness for them to leave. I've got plans.

He kissed the top of my head and I hugged him tightly.

"You two be careful too. I mean it. Come home to me when this is all over."

"Promise. We will." Sam said also hugging me before leaving.

I watched them walk out the door and knew it would be an hour or so before it would be safe to start packing up. Just in case. I want to make sure that they are cuffed before I start high tailing it out of town. I pulled out our police radio and turned it to the local frequency and waited. It was almost two hours before the call came over about a robbery at the museum. Bingo! I listened carefully as they communicated about detaining two white males and preparing them for transport.

Time to go.

I packed my bags, grabbed a small stash of weapons, the card, they keys, and then I left the boys a note.

 _Boys,_

 _Don't hate me. I'm okay. I went to see Luke. Honestly I'm hoping to beat you two back to the room, but this note is my contingency plan. Don't worry. I'm not alone. I picked up a friend along the way. I'll call Bobby if I get in a jam. Love you, please… don't kill me!_

 _-Em_

I carefully folded and taped the note to the inside of the door so the boys would be sure to find it. Then I grabbed my phone, my bag, and hit the road.

I shot Luke a text letting him know I was heading his way, and then I made another phone call.

"Hello?"

"Jo… You up for a little road trip? Testosterone free?" I smiled.

The detour to pick up Jo cost me another 4 hours, almost doubling my trip, but again. Its safer to travel in pairs than alone. I pulled up to the roadhouse in the middle of the night and knew honking would be a bad idea, so instead I flashed my lights towards the small house behind the bar. Moments later Jo darted out with a bag on her shoulder.

"Hey! So. Where we going? And how in the hell did you get away from your brothers?"

"Well. They're tied up on a case that I couldn't go on, its inside a jail, men's facility. They kinda sorta think that I'm bunking down in the hotel room for a couple of days."

"But… instead you are?"

"Going to see Luke." I said nonchalantly.

"Luke?"

"Yeah.. he's. Its… Um. Complicated."

"I can see that." She giggled.

"I'm kinda hoping that by going to see him it will end the complicated part of all this. I'll either leave with a boyfriend… or without him in my life anymore." I said thoughtfully.

"So… You need me because?"

"Because its stupid to be on my own so far away from my brothers. They're less likely to kill me if I was smart enough to have back up incase anything happens."

"Ah. So I'm the insurance policy. Nice to know." She said slightly offended.

"Oh come on… its not like that. Besides. The last time we saw you things kinda ended on a bad note. And you're like the closest thing I have to a friend."

"Well… alright. Are we gonna have a jam session or do you wanna spend the next 6 hours talking to me about how complicated you two are."

"Jam session, please!" I grinned.

Jo leaned over and popped in an old Backstreet Boy's CD. I looked at her shocked.

"Hey. No one else in the world knows about this. You spill and I'll kill you." She warned.

"Only if you promise not to judge me for knowing every single song by heart." I replied.

We cranked the music and sang out hearts out, terribly at times, until we began to see the sun rise. One breakfast stop and two hours later we were pulling back into Halltown. We found the first motel in the phone book and checked in. A trick I picked up from the boys. Its how we find each other if we ever get separated.

"Alright, I'm crashing for an hour, then I'll go meet Luke."

"I supposed I'll hold down the fort." Jo laughed.

"Hey, free HBO and pizza on me." I said tossing her the credit card.

"Now that, I can work with."

I grabbed my phone and texted Luke.

Me: I made it, we're at the Ashbury, room 117, I'm gonna crash for an hour since I drove all night. Pick me up at 930?

He instantly texted back.

Luke: Come here and sleep… I can't stand knowing you're in town and I'm not standing next to you.

Ughhh. I groaned.

Me: I look like a zombie… I wanted to be pretty when we met up.

Luke: You're always pretty. Please?

Me: Fine. Lol. Come pick me up, and I fully expect a soft cozy bed to lay in.

Luke: I'll be there in ten.

"Well. I guess I won't be sleeping for an hour. Not here anyways."

"Ohhh… getting straight to the good part I see." Jo joked.

"Shut up." I laughed throwing a pillow at her, but I did make sure to grab a few condoms. Just incase.

"Hey Jo."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you… this means a lot to me and I appreciate you coming with."

"Hey. What are friends for? Now go have fun! Because if your brothers bust us you better had made this trip well worth it."

"Yes maam." I grinned before walking outside to wait for him.

It wasn't even ten minutes before the familiar rumble made its way down the road and my heart skipped a beat when his truck pulled into the parking lot. I walked forward grinning ear to ear as he jumped out of the truck and swept me in his arms.

"God I missed you." He said as we clung to each other.

"I missed you too." I whispered. He pulled back and gently held my face in his hands. I was hypnotized by those deep dark blue eyes. The ones I'd dreamt about night after night. He slowly leaned down and pressed his lips into mine. I had only kissed Luke a few times before now, but it felt like this kiss was as natural as breathing. I immediately molded my face to his, deepening the kiss by running my tongue across his bottom lip. He groaned softly and pulled away.

"Okay, I think its only fair I let you get some sleep before taking advantage of you." He said breathless.

"Deal." I giggled.

He helped me into his truck and drove us back to his now empty house, since his parents are at work.

"Wow… your house is beautiful." I said as he opened the door and led me inside. The home was filled with warm colors and beautiful artwork adorned the walls. It was large. Two story atleast. I grinned as a chocolate lab made its way down the stairs barking and wagging its tail.

"Oh my god he's so cute!" I said bending down to shower the dog with my love. I LOVE dogs.

"Ha, yeah that's Monty. He's a ladykiller, all the girls leave me for him." Luke grinned and winked. I stood back up and wrapped my arms around him.

"Well, as charming as Monty is. I didn't drive all night to be in his arms."

"Come on sleepy, lets go lay down." He held my hand and our fingers automatically interlaced with each other as if that's where they belonged. He led me up the stairs and we passed several rooms before he opened the door and led me into a dark green room. Full of football trophies, fishing poles, a desk, and most of all a huge bed with a soft feather stuffed comforter on it.

"Oh please tell me I get to sleep in that." I said excitedly. Luke laughed.

"Man. Those hotel beds really must have lowered your standards. This thing aint nothing fancy darling."

"Nonsense, it looks like the most comfortable bed on the planet."

I stripped out of my outer layers leaving me in a tank top and shorts, I turned to find Luke staring at me intently.

"What? What's wrong?" I asked hesitantly.

"Nothing. You're just… beautiful."

I looked down to try and hide the deep red my cheeks flushed. I smiled at him before turning and moving to lay down in the bed.

"Oh god… this is the most comfortable bed on the planet." I moaned as I laid down and smothered myself in his blankets. They all smelt like him. I could spend days at a time in this bed. Then without warning his warm body was up against mine, wrapping me and pulling me to lay against him, fitting like a glove.

"You know… If I wasn't so exhausted my mind would sending completely different signals right now." I mumbled. I felt his breath on my neck as he laughed.

"Go to sleep babe, I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Promise?" I asked turning slightly to look him in the eye.

"I promise." He smiled, kissing me again softly.

I fell asleep almost instantly, it was the most peaceful I'd felt in months. No dreams, no stiff bed, no worries. I just. Fell asleep wrapped in his arms.

When I woke up it was still bright outside. I let out a deep breath and moaned lightly, stretching. My body was still laid against the warmth of Luke. I nuzzled and pushed my body closer to his. Feeling him reply in the most intimate of ways. I was suddenly more awake, and more aware of just how close we were. I felt him stir awake as well.

"Morning." He groaned.

"Mmmm. Good morning."

He leaned over and looked at the clock.

"Or good afternoon… whichever." He laughed.

"Oh geez. What time is it?"

"Looks like its about 130."

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to sleep that long."

"Its okay babe, you needed it, and I didn't mind the nap either. I was up late thinking about you." He grinned.

"Oh yeah? And what exactly were you thinking about?" I grinned back.

"That night, that blue dress… how I honestly wasn't sure I'd ever get to see you again."

I looked down feeling slightly guilty for running off like I did.

"I'm sorry I just vanished. I just… didn't know what else to do."

"You could have explained to me. I mean I know you were upset about what happened at the dance, but… I figured you'd go back and sleep it off. Not skip the state."

"I know Luke… I just. My life is never gonna be like yours. I'll never stop and settle in one place. I'll never fit in with people like Tiffany, and Pete, and whoever else. I just. I knew it wasn't going to work, and we were done with our case and so we just, left."

"…Case?" He asked confused. Shit!

"Yeah. My dad and uncle finished up the job, so we only were staying for the dance cause I asked." I quickly continued. "Look, can we just. Leave that behind us… I'm here. Now. No brothers, no Tiffany, no drama. Lets just… enjoy ourselves." I said with a smile as I rolled over and nearly laid on top of him. He smiled back briefly, he nodded, but his eyes were begging for an explanation.

"Well, are you hungry?" He asked.

"YES!" I said thankful he was going to drop it for now.

"Well I do happen to know this little Italian place down the road, and it has the best spaghetti and meatballs you've ever had in your life." He taunted.

"Now that sounds like a plan." I said jumping up to get dressed.

"Hey, you know it wouldn't bother me if you just left the pants off." He offered. I giggled.

Luke drove us into town, I love riding in this truck with him. I love being in the middle with his arm over my shoulder, absentmindedly twiddling our fingers when I reached for his hand. It was easy, it was comfortable.

"So, how did you manage to get away without your brothers?"

"I told you, I'm a miracle worker." I said with a grin.

"Yeah, well even a miracle worker must have had to pull a few strings on this one, those two watch you like bodyguards."

"Um, I said I wanted to spend a few days with Jo, she's a family friend, so I swung by and picked her up on the way here so it looked more legit."

"Oh, well where is she?" He asked confused.

"Sitting at the motel watching free cable and eating pizza on my dime."

"Ah. I see. I feel kinda bad. Maybe we should bring her along for lunch."

"Nah, she's cool with it. Trust me. Besides… I plan on solely occupying ever second of your time while I'm here one way or another." I winked at him as he pulled into the parking lot of the small yet homey restaurant.

He was right. BEST spaghetti and meatballs of my life! After finishing lunch we piled back into his truck and he drove us out of town.

"Luke, where are we going?" I asked curiously.

"To have some fun… this is a small town, so we gotta find ways to entertain ourselves. This one happens to be my favorite."

"Okay… would it happen to be murdering people in the woods?" I asked as he turned off the road and onto what I could barely make out as a dirt trail just wide enough for the truck, still scraping branches as we go.

"Ha, come here babe." He said motioning for me to sit closer to him. "I promise no one is gonna murder you, not while you're with me." He said kissing my cheek.

"Better not, or my brothers will blame you and kill you too." I warned.

He laughed as he came to a brief stop in front of a clearing, it was muddy, lots of puddles everywhere.

"Okay, so do we get out now?" I asked confused.

"No. Scoot over and buckle up. It'll keep you from banging your head on the roof. Trust me. I learned the hard way."

"Ummm.. okay?" I said buckling the belt and pulling it tight. He must have sensed my nervousness because he grabbed my hand soothingly rubbing his thumb across it.

"You ready?" He asked with the biggest smile I've seen all day. I stared as his excited eyes for a moment, whatever this is makes him happy, so it can't be that bad I guess.

"Yes." I said with a short nod.

Before I could register what was happening Luke slammed on the gas and the truck lurched forward through the mud, sending it everywhere across the truck's windshield and all down the sides, he turned, and hit another, then another, the ride was bumpy but exhilarating. Before I realized it I was grinning ear to ear and squealing with laughter. He came to a stop on the other side of the clearing.

"Well, what do ya think?" He asked watching me.

"…Can we go again?!" I asked excited. He laughed and nodded before gassing it and taking us around again, and again. Then I asked an even bigger question.

"So….. can I drive?"

"Um… sure." He said hesitantly. He put it in park and scooted toward me, I lifted up and let him slide past, giggling when he grabbed me and pulled me down on his lap to kiss me from behind, then I slid over and readjusted the seat so I could reach the pedals.

"Okay. what do I do?"

"Well. You just. Gas it. Try and stay the edge of the mudholes, you can get stuck if you get in the middle, gotta give the tires something to grind against."

"I'll give you something to grind against." I mumbled coyly as I put the truck in drive. I slammed the pedal down and got nervous when it lurched, but tried again, and soon we were off. I was having WAYYYY too much fun with this. I could have done this all day and not complained once. I turned to go through the large hole in the middle of the field. I gassed it and mud flew everywhere, but then… it stopped. We stopped. Oh no.

"Um. Is this supposed to happen." I asked.

"Well. yes and no. Babe I think we're stuck."

"Stuck? Oh… what do we do?"

"Try it in reverse." I did. Nothing happened.

"Okay, well… guess its time to call in the reinforcements." He said as he flipped open the phone.

"Hey, yeah man. I'm stuck… Ha. Yeah. We're out at the powerlines. Yeah the big one in the middle….Yeah I know. Every time. Alright thanks man, see you in a few." He said as he hung up.

"So…" I said feeling guilty I got us stuck.

"Babe, its fine." He laughed. "It happens all the time. Its kind of the challenge… to see whether or not you can get stuck. You did good, this hole is infamous for getting people."

"Are you sure I didn't break anything?" I asked shyly.

"No. Not at all. C'mere." He said reaching out his hand, we slid towards each other in the center of the seat. "I think I know how to keep us busy in the meantime." He grinned before leaning in to kiss me. My whole body sparked with electricity. His intensity was matching mine. We'd waited so long to see each other, to be together. Phone calls and texts just aren't the same… I missed him. Its hard to believe we had only been together for like a week before we were separated, and then we've only been talking on the phone for a couple of months now. It feels like so much longer than that.

His hands traced the top of my shoulders down to my ass, and in one swift motion he pulled me into his lap. I straddled him, arms wrapped around his neck. I just couldn't get enough of him. I kissed deeper and longer, and he moaned in response.

"You know I could always call off the back up." He whispered breathlessly.

"No… I've got better places in mind to finish this." I said kissing him again. I could feel him growing eager beneath me. I was getting pretty eager myself. Unfortunately before we could get much further there was honking behind us. I looked up to see Pete jump out of his truck.

"Well… backups here." I sighed. I moved to climb off his lap and he had to um… readjust. To not make our activities obvious.

"Hey man. Got the wench hooked up, you guys ready?" Pete asked as Luke slid over to the driver seat and rolled down his window.

"Yeah man, I'll put her in neutral." Luke said shifting the gears. Slowly but surely Pete was able to use his truck to pull us out of the hole backwards. I was surprised as how use to this they were. He wasn't kidding when they said this happens a lot.

When we were back on solid ground Luke and I jumped out of the truck and walked over to Pete.

"Hey. Long time no see Winchester."

"Yeah. How are ya Pete?" I asked with a tight smile.

"Good. How long you in town for?"

"Just a day or so."

"Well… it was good to see you. Luke man I'll see you tomorrow." He said with a nod before he got in his truck and left. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Pete doesn't still bother you does he?"

"No.. no. Its just. I don't know. Weird I guess?"

"Lets get out of here." Luke offered.

We went back to the motel so I could change and he wanted to offer Jo to come to dinner with us. When we pulled up I stopped and turned to him. "Are you parents going to be wondering where you are all night?"

"Nope. Pete's covering. As far as they're concerned I'm with him for the night."

"Okay, well then I think after dinner you should come back here… with me."

"What about Jo?"

"I'll get us another room… Jo will be fine."

"Emily. Are you sure? I mean. I want you to know… as much as I want to do this… I don't want you to think it's the only thing I want. I'm just happy to spend time with you."

"No I know… I just… I don't know when we'll get this time alone together again. And I want to take full advantage of it."

He smiled and kissed me softly. We climbed out and walked in the room.

"Hey Jo, this is Luke." I said as we came through the door.

"Hi." She said with a shit eating grin.

"Hi. I'm um, gonna borrow your bathroom for a moment." Luke said before walking away.

Jo watched him walk and the moment the door shut her head flung around and her bright eyes met mine.

"Good lord that boy is fine! Where can I get one?"

"Hush Jo! He'll hear you!" I laughed. "He wants you to come to dinner with us, you down?"

"Sure. Ask him if he's got a brother."

"Haha, I thought you had a thing for my brother."

"I do but your brother clearly isn't here at the moment." She added slyly.

Luke walked out and I got changed and ready for dinner, we all rode in Luke's truck and he took us to the local diner in town. Good home cookin. Luke, Jo, and I ate until we couldn't stand another bite. Not even of that fantastic dessert that Luke bought us. We laughed, we told jokes, we had a genuine good time. Until the bell to the front door rang and Satan walked through it.

She froze as if she had seen a ghost. I guess she never expected to see me again either. When my face fell and my eyes glued to the opposite side of the restaurant Jo got curious and turned around to see what exactly I was staring at.

"Who's that?" She asked realizing the blonde was staring back at us.

"…Satan." I mumbled as Luke swung his arm around me.

"Don't let her bother you." He said quietly speaking directly into my ear.

My glare never left hers as she turned around and walked back out the door. Good riddance bitch.

"So. Does she still want to jump on your dick every day at school?" I turned and asked him.

"Whoa… okay. I'm gonna get a refill." Jo said awkwardly standing up and walking away as quickly as she could muster.

Luke sighed.

"No. Actually… after you left we kinda… dated. For. A while." He explained hesitantly. I subconsciously withdrew from his touch.

"You what?!"

"Emily please… it was after you left. I. I was alone, confused… she just wanted to be with me."

I sat frozen. Not sure what to say. I felt betrayed… hurt.

"Why did you break up with her…" I asked not meeting his eyes.

"Because I realized she wasn't what I wanted."

"How long."

"How long what?" He asked confused.

"How long did you date her… when did you two break up?"

"About a month afterwards… I told you. I realized she wasn't what I wanted. I was just alone and didn't want to be."

"…did you two… have-"

"No. NO! No of course not." He quickly cut in.

"Can we just get out of here?" I asked distractedly, trying to get the thought of him and Tiffany being together out of my head.

"Yeah, come on." He said sliding out of the booth and extending his hand to mine. I grabbed it without meeting his eyes and nodded to Jo that we were heading out. Jo climbed in the truck and I followed Luke to his side of the truck, stopping him before he climbed in. I caught his eyes and leaned forward, pressing my lips to his and letting our bodies mold against each other.

"I'm sorry… I shouldn't have reacted like that. You didn't deserve it. Please… stay with me tonight." I asked quietly.

"Of course. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner… I just didn't wanna ruin anything between us."

"Its okay. Come on. I wanna cuddle some more." I said with a grin. We drove back to the motel and all walked into the room. I grabbed a few things out of my bag and then made my way to the front desk.

"I need a room for the night please." I asked the old man. He peered over at me above his glasses.

"Didn't I book you a room this morning for the next two nights?"

"Yeah. You did, but ummm. My sister and I had a fight… I just want to get some sleep and work things out in the morning."

"Your gonna pay for an entire room versus ending an argument?" He asked me deadpan.

"Uh. Yeah?" I answered.

"…women." He mumbled rolling his eyes while running the card.

"Thanks" I said hesitantly as he handed me the room keys.

I walked back and Luke and I said our goodnights to Jo, who was surprisingly cool with crashing alone for the night. I was glad she was so okay with everything. I was worried maybe bringing her was a bad idea, but I know its smarter to always have back up close by.

"Well here we are… too bad we can't sleep in your bed for the night. That thing was amazing." I said as I walked in and set my stuff down on the floor.

"Ha, its really not. You've just slept on some pretty shitty beds." He laughed.

I turned and looked at him, just. Really looked at him. Damn he is beautiful. How did I ever end up standing in a motel room with someone like this?

"Emily… are you sure about all this? I mean. I know we've talked about it. I know I want to… but I don't want to rush this. I don't want you to think this is all I want out of us." He said softly.

"Luke. _I_ want this. Not just you… Can I be honest with you about something?"

"Yeah babe, what is it?" He said sitting down on the bed and pulling me to stand between his legs, making us almost eye level, I stood just barely above him.

"Luke… I've only done this once before. It wasn't pretty… I was drunk. I was upset. It was right after my dad died. I hated myself for it for a long time… so if I seem hesitant at any point. Please know. Its not you... Its just. This is the first time that I've been with someone who I truly care about. I'm… I'm scared." I admitted at barely a whisper.

When I looked at Luke his eyes were filled with so much emotion. So much depth… it was like staring into the sea.

"Emily." He finally said. "I promise I won't hurt you, we'll go as slow as you want, and if you want to stop then all you have to do is say so."

I nodded and we laid down on the bed. We were in no hurry, knowing that we wouldn't be interrupted tonight. He held me against him, much like he did this morning when we fell asleep, but this time I was much to nervous to even consider sleeping, but I wanted this. I wanted every second of it, and not to get over something. But because I wanted to be as close to him as two people could possibly be, I wanted to know him in ways no one else would. I wanted him to know me… to love me.

He slowly trailed his fingertips up and down the length of my body, going back and forth between the top of my shoulder and midway down my thigh. The sensation was like being set on fire yet laying on a bed of ice. I could feel every spark his touch created within me. When his hand grazed back up my body he dipped it down across my stomach and my body arched in reaction as a small moan separated my lips. Taking this as an invitation I turned and laid on my back, putting my face not even an inch from his. His hand continued up and down… this time trailing from my neck to the edge of my shorts, dipping down between my breasts as he passed. The motion stirred me from places I didn't even know existed.

He went to remove my shirt slowly and carefully, and for a second swift fear cause my hand to reach down and stop him. The scars. He'll see them… all of them.

He immediately noticed my hesitation and froze, gazing at my face. I tried to avoid eye contact, but he lifted my jaw and forced it. "What's wrong darlin?"

"Nothing its just… just. You have to promise me you won't stare at them…"

"At what?" He asked as his eyebrows knitted together.

I slowly lifted off the shirt, leaving me in only the bra and shorts. I carefully watched as his eyes trailed down my body and paused on the multiple scars along my sides and stomach… for the first time I felt, so ugly. I bet Tiffany doesn't have scars like these… I bet her body is perfect.

Worried that this has killed the night, I began to move away from him, but he quickly put his arm across the bed, trapping me. I looked up to him surprised.

"Don't." He whispered. Then he leaned down and his lips met mine, easing me back down onto the bed and his hand that once trapped me moved to rub against my skin at the edges of my bra, causing me to groan into the kiss. He moved to press his lips against my neck and placed his body between my legs, giving him more access to explore with his hands.

I hadn't even registered that he had undone by bra until he gently pulled it off to the side.

"Done that before?" I asked sarcastically, he giggled and moved to kiss the warm skin between my breasts, out of instinct my hands found themselves grazing along his scalp and tangled in his hair. They moved down and gripped his shirt where it rested on his shoulders, he sat up and swiftly pulled if off in one motion. His hands found their way back to my body as mine found the button for his jeans. I slowly undid them and pulled them down, unintentionally grazing against his junk in the process.

As his jeans slid down his hands worked their way down to my shorts, then he hooked a finger inside of them and pulled them and the underwear off. I laid fully exposed beneath him, and this time it wasn't desperate, it wasn't terrifying. Nerve wracking yes, but somehow I just knew I wouldn't regret this time like I did the last. This meant something… this was an act of love, not desperation.

His hand dipped back down and when he touched me my entire body felt like it was set a blaze. This… this was all new to me. I never in a million years knew my body could feel the way it did at this very moment. He was gentle, but rhythmic with his motions, sliding against the most sensitive part of my body. I was sure that an explosion was preparing to happen within me. I moaned and I could tell the noise excited him, his movements quickened and I was soon moving my body against his hand, unexpectedly he stopped.

He removed the remainder of his clothing and laid his body down against mine, I felt the full force of his length lay against me and the feeling was enticing to say the least. He kissed me, then he pulled away.

"Are you sure? I won't be mad if you want to stop." He asked politely, but I could see in his eyes every part of him wanted this as badly as I did.

"I'm sure." I whispered.

With that he moved and in one motion we were as close as two people could possibly be, we were one. I gasped at the sharp but brief pain, and moaned when it was replaced with pleasure, he moved slowly, testing the water so as not to hurt me. I nodded to him to reassure him that I was okay.

He leaned down and placed his mouth against my ear, kissing my temple.

"I.. I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I said back pulling his lips against mine. He thrust into me again and again, until we both sank into bliss.

This. This is the way its supposed to be… I never knew why Dean was so obsessed. Now, I get it. Now I understand just how horrible that first time was compared to how amazing this can be. How much more it means to be with someone you love.

When I woke up I could tell it was still dark outside, our bodies were still tangled together, in a mess of sheets. I turned to face the boy I'd just made love to and I almost couldn't bare to wake him. But I didn't want to waste any more time with him just sleeping.

"Hey.." I whispered running my fingers through his hair. He slowly stirred a wake and smiled, showing his beautiful white smile.

"What time is it?" He asked.

"About 3 in the morning."

"Well, I guess the early bird gets the worm he said as he stretched and laid his arm across me, drawing circles on my bare stomach.

"So." I said hesitantly.

"So?" He repeated, waiting for me to continue.

"…Are you going to ask about them?"

He sighed.

"I want to. But… would it do me any good?"

I carefully considered my next reply… after this. After what we've done, can I still lie to him?

"I don't want to scare you away… my life is not easy. These. These happen. All the time." I said looking down as his fingers traced the scars slowly one at a time.

"Emily, please… talk to me." He pleaded softly. I know he just wants an explanation. He just wants to know SOMETHING. But how can I tell him anything without telling him everything?

"…What if you think I'm crazy?"

"I would never think you were crazy. Darlin, talk to me… give me a chance."

"You have to promise me… no matter what I say you won't walk out of this room. You'll give me a chance too."

"I promise."

I looked at him carefully, debating on where to start, is this even a good idea? Will he go running for the hills? Will he even believe me?

"Emily, babe… talk." He said pulling me from my thoughts.

"My brothers and I aren't in the exterminating business."

"Well I think we both already knew that." He added honestly.

"We're… hunters."

"…Hunters?"

"Yeah. We travel to hunt things, we… save peoples lives on a daily basis."

"What exactly do you hunt?" he asked after looking confused for a minute.

"Well… we hunt mo-" My sentence was interrupted by the loud volume of my phone, ringing on the nightstand behind me, I turned and reached for it, seeing it was Jo. I looked at it puzzled, but flipped it open.

"Jo?"

"Emily! Get out of here! Now!... They're looking for you, I only killed one, there's at least three more. You gotta get outta there, I took the car, meet me at the gas station down the road! Hurry!"

Oh no. No. Everything in my body froze. This is exactly what I feared, this… was exactly what I was afraid of. All of it. Its happening, its coming for me and I'm putting him in the middle of it.

"Emily!" Jo yelled through the phone.

"Yeah! Yeah I hear you, okay we'll meet you there." I said frantically. I hung up the phone and jumped out of the bed throwing on my clothes haphazardly.

"Emily what's wrong?" Luke asked nervously.

"Get dressed! Now! Before they find us!"

"Who?!" He asked as he too began to throw on clothing.

I ignored him and reached into my bag, pulling out my gun and tucking it in my waistband.

"Whoa.. Em.. what the hell?" He asked surprised.

"Just. Look okay… All those times I couldn't explain, THIS is it. I hunt monsters for a living, my family and I travel and kill ghosts, monsters, demons, whatever! Right now, something is coming after us so we have to leave! Now!" I rambled as I pulled out three silver knives and laid them on the bed, along with an extra pistol and a flask of holy water.

"Here, can you shoot this?" I said pushing the gun at him. He took it hesitantly, looking at it in pure shock.

"Luke! Stay with me here! Can you shoot it?!"

He finally snapped out of it.

"Yeah. Yeah… I can shoot."

"Good, take a knife, keep them tucked under your shirt but easy to access, I don't know what we're up against, come on." I said as I grabbed the bag and Luke's keys and began to walk us out of the door and down the stairs, once at the bottom of the stairs I scanned the area, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. We bolted for his truck but I quickly stopped when I recognized the man walking out of what was mine and Jo's room.

"Shit!" I said and reached back in the bag digging for the syringe of dead man's blood I had stuffed inside.

"Run!" I said to Luke pointing to the opposite direction, but it was useless as two more men appeared behind us and cut us off.

"Well well well… look what we have here. It's the Baby Winchester, without her big bad brothers." The vamp said clearly amused.

"You son of a bitch… Let us go. Now, and I won't kill you."

"Ha! Kill me… hunny incase you forgot, you _couldn't_ kill me." He laughed as the memory of him running from his nest the other night filled my mind. I still can't believe I missed the damn shot…

"I killed your entire nest, I think I can handle you just fine." I spat as I instinctively placed myself between Luke and the lead vamp.

"Emily what the hell is this…" Luke asked shakily, he stayed close to me, in what is supposed to be a protective stance between me and the other three men, but he doesn't know what he's up against, at this point they view him as collateral to get to me… they'll kill him on the spot.

"Whats the matter? Boyfriend here still in the dark? Does he know about all the things that go bump in the night?" The vamp taunted.

"You don't talk to him… this is between us. Why don't you call off the dogs here and me and you can settle this."

"Oh and what, Romeo here gets to drive away and let the other bitch know who took you? I don't think so. Your both dead." He said nonchalantly. "Such a shame too… He'd make a good member of the nest."

"Luke. Get in the truck. Now." I hissed.

"What?! NO! No way… I'm not leaving you." He said stubbornly.

"I'll be fine, GET IN THE TRUCK!"

"Dammit Emily no!" he yelled.

I knew he wouldn't leave without me so I did the only thing I could think of, I fought. If we can both get to the truck then I can get him back to safety, Luke took my lead and also began to fight, we were outnumbered but put up a good fight, inuring the vamps in the process, but before I knew what was happening I spun to see one vamp hold Luke down as the other knocked him out cold.

"Luke!" I screamed, but then there was nothing but darkness around me.

*Dean's POV*

"Whew! That one was close!" I called out of breath as I punched the gas and Baby came to life.

"Yeah. How about we never make it that close again?" Sam said from beside me struggling to catch his breath.

"Oh come on, that was exciting!"

"Dean, we almost got incarcerated for life… not my idea of excitement."

"Yeah yeah, whatever grandpa. Lets go burn some bones and get back to Em. It freaks me out leaving her alone."

"I'm sure she's fine… she'll probably be in the middle of some dumb movie when we get back."

"Yeah.. I don't know. I just gotta funny feeling. I need to lay eyes on her."

"Dude. You are so paranoid when it comes to Em."

"Yeah well, what can I say… its my job."

"Its my job too, but I don't go overboard with it like you do."

"Hey, overboard keeps her ass AND your ass alive, now quit bitching and find the salt." I said as we pulled up to the cemetery.

It only took us an hour to dig up, salt, burn, and rebury the bones. We were definitely making this one a speed race, needing to get as far away from this town as quickly as possible before that Hendrickson prick caught up to us. Man, the FBI are such douchebags.

We pulled back up to the motel and I immediately noticed Emily's back up car was gone.

"… Just being paranoid huh?" I asked pointing it out to Sam.

"Shit…" He sighed as we got out and made our way to the door. When I walked in it was clear Emily wasn't there, and hadn't been since probably about as long as us.

"Hey. Check this out." Sam said motioning to a note taped onto the door.

"Boys… Don't hate me. I'm okay. I went to see Luke. Honestly I'm hoping to beat you two back to the room, but this note is my contingency plan. Don't worry. I'm not alone. I picked up a friend along the way. I'll call Bobby if I get in a jam. Love you, please… don't kill me! Em." Sam read aloud.

"Dammit!" I yelled as my blood came to a boiling point.

"I should've known she'd pull some stupid shit like this."

"Alright well, at least we know where the hell she is… lets go get her. You can kill her when we get there." Sam offered packing up the rest of our stuff.

We piled back into the impala and took off.

"Hey, who do you think she meant when she said she picked up a friend?" I asked realizing for the first time she's got someone with her besides a horny teenage boy.

"I don't know, I didn't even know she had friends."

"She doesn't… but we have friends. Who would be stupid enough to go along with this?"

"Well it damn sure wouldn't be Bobby… so roadhouse… Ash? Jo?"

"Please God let it be Jo… dammit." I mumbled reaching for my cell.

It rang three times before I heard the female voice on the other line.

"Dean?"

"Are you with Emily?" I asked cutting straight to the chase.

"I was.. Dean I swear! I didn't know we were followed! She was supposed to meet me at the gas station but they never showed up and I went back but his truck is there and there was blood on the ground and now I can't pick up the trai-"

"Whoa whoa whoa! Slow down a second Jo!" I said putting the phone on speaker.

"What followed you?"

"Vampires, I got one, but there were 3 or 4 more and they were looking for Emily, I called and warned her and we were supposed to meet but she never made it!" Jo said frantically, obviously upset as well.

Sam and I exchanged a worried glance and I pushed the pedal to the floor.

"Jo, where are you?" I asked as calmly as I could realizing my baby sister was most likely in the hands of a vampire right now, and I was still hours away.

"I'm at the Ashbury, it's the first motel in town. Rm 117. I swear I've tried to pick up the trail, but I can't!" She said her voice cracking at the end.

"Jo, listen to me… its okay. Get a machete, lock the door, and sit tight. We'll be there in 3 hours."

I hung up the phone and inhaled a sharp breath before slamming my fist against the wheel.

"Dammit!" I yelled. "I knew we shouldn't have left her alone!"

"Dean… we had no way of knowing she was gonna run off." Sam tried to reason.

"It doesn't matter! I'm never supposed to leave her alone! Not again!"

"What are you talking about Dean?"

"Nothing. Just… shut up and let me drive." I growled as I cranked the music, an aggravated and stressed Sam threw his hands in the air and rolled his eyes. I know its his sister missing too. I know he loves her, I know he's scared… but she's my little girl. And I've got to find her.

*Emily's POV*

"Oww…" I groaned as I stirred and began to feel the massive headache. It took my vision several seconds to adjust, even in the dim light. When It did I realized I was strung up from the ceiling, my hands bound, looking around I found a limp Luke beside me.

"Oh god.. Luke! Luke! Wake up babe please!" I cried out to him. He slowly began to move and his eyes fluttered a few times before opening.

"Emily?" He asked foggy.

"Yeah hun I'm here… I'm so sorry. I never wanted to get you into this. I promise. I had no idea I was followed." I said to him.

"So… you weren't kidding about the monsters?" He asked groggily.

"No… I wasn't."

"Well. That's unfortunate. I was kinda banking on this being a bad dream following our awesome sex. Guess its not… the awesome sex really happened though right?"

I lightly laughed.

"Yeah… yeah it did."

"Good." He mumbled

"Are you okay?" I asked softly. Feeling guilty knowing he was here because of me.

"I'm fine… Just a little dizzy. Are you okay? Did they touch you?" He said growing defensive.

"I'm okay, I'm just so sorry I put you here."

"Well I doubt it was on purpose." He said offering me a half smile. "Question now is… where the hell are we?"

"I don't know." I said looking around. "Its some sort of warehouse, if I had to guess probably out by the docks so people won't come sniffing around. Vampires sleep during the day, they need a dark place to hide out, I'd say this fits the bill."

"I…I'm sorry. Did you say vampires?" Luke asked seeming to realize the gravity of the situation.

"Yeah… I did. The other night when I called you and said I had a bad day, its cause we raided a nest and got pretty messed up, and I let one get away. And that's who's taken us. He's out for revenge. Vampire's nests are like their family. My brothers and I slaughtered his family… so now he's going to slaughter me."

"The hell he is… we're getting out of here." Luke said with newly found determination. Man, he really is perfect. "Where are they now?" He asked.

"Probably sleeping, the sunlight doesn't turn them to dust or anything but it hurts, so they sleep during the day."

"So how do we kill them? Wooden stake to the heart?"

"No, you have to decapitate them. If you can get ahold of some deadman's blood it'll paralyze them temporarily."

"Deadman's blood? Do I even wanna know how you get that?"

"Um… the morgue." I admitted sheepishly.

"Oh great. My girlfriend not only kills monsters for a living, she breaks into morgues and desecrates bodies." He said sarcastically.

"Hey!" I said mildly offended.

"Wait… did you just call me your girlfriend?" I ask suddenly realizing what words fell from his mouth.

"Well I figured after the awesome sex and the 'I love yous' that it was kind of implied." He explained.

"Oh. Right… okay." I smiled like a dumb schoolgirl, momentarily forgetting how screwed we are as we dangle from the ceiling.

"Um Em can we get out of here and then make goo goo eyes at each other? I'm kinda trying not to freak out here."

"Oh! Yeah, yes… sorry." I said trying to loosen the ropes on my wrists.

*Dean's POV*

3 hours and 24 minutes later I was banging on the door of room 117.

"Jo! Open up! Its us!" I could hear the locks behind the door being undone and then she flung it open. She looked a mess, her hair disheveled and her eyes red from obviously crying.

"Dean, I.. I'm so sorry." She choked out. "I know how important she is to you, I never would have gone through with it if I knew something was looking for her! I swear! I thought everything was fine!"

"Jo! JO! Calm down… tell me exactly what happened." I said shaking her shoulders to snap her out of her rambling.

"I.. I was in the room, it was the middle of the night. I heard them trying to pick the lock and jumped up. I didn't know it was a vamp until the bullets obviously didn't hurt it, so I swung and killed one of them, I broke past the door and jumped in the car and called Emily to warn her. She-"

"Wait, why wasn't she in here with you?" Sam asked. Jo looked very hesitant to answer his question.

"Jo.. where was she?" I prodded.

"She was in a room a couple of floors up…"

"By herself?" Sam asked confused.

"Not.. um. Not exactly." Then it clicked in my head.

"Oh no… God no Jo please tell me you didn't let two horny teenagers get their own room for the night?!" I asked.

"Well.. I mean she's 16. I'm sure everyone in this room has been alone with another horny teenager when they were 16." Jo tried to defend.

"Jo! She's 16! Its bad enough you helped her sneak off behind our backs but you just stood by when she got another room for the two of them?! I mean come on.. you knew what they were gonna do!"

"…Does it make it better if I tell you I know she brought condoms?" Jo asked with an eyebrow raised.

Sam and I both let out a deep sigh… fucking really Em? NOW is when you choose to run off and get laid? The thought made me sick to even think about.

"Okay. You know what… enough. Point is. You were separated. What happened after that."

"I called her to warn her, she said they'd be there in a few minutes… when she never showed I came back to look for her. I found his truck still in the parking lot, and there was blood. Not a lot, but obviously there was some sort of fight… I can't figure out where they'd go, I tried to pick up the trail but… I. I just don't know what to look for. Dean. I'm so sorry."

"Lets just go get Em." I said with a sigh walking outside to inspect the place for myself, I found the truck easily. It was the only one with mud caked on at least 2 inches thick. "Someone had a good time while she was gone." I said gesturing to it. Sam nodded in agreement.

"Okay, looks like the blood is contained to this one spot… we need surveillance videos, we need to see what car they were in and then we can take it from there. Sam, you and Jo go get them from the front desk, I'm gonna go up and check Em's room. What number is it Jo?"

"306."

"Alright." I said with a huff as I ascended the stairs two at a time and opened the unlocked door, great. She left in a hurry obviously. It was evident this room was used, the sheets were tangled, there was towels on the bathroom floor. As disgusting as it is to even stand in this room right now I gotta make sure there's nothing in here I need to find her.

I found a few spare bullets on the floor by the bed, she always drops one or two when she's loading a mag in a hurry, so at least I know she had weapons.

I met back with Sam and Jo.

"Hey, alright so the car has stolen plates, can't track it really, but they took off in that direction. Traffic cam caught them for another 3 miles and then they turned off." Sam explained.

"Well then what are we waiting for, lets go." I said ushering us all to the impala.

*Emily's POV*

We had been trying for hours to loosen the ropes, but the weight of our bodies pulled against them causing them only to tighten as we struggled.

"Its getting dark outside again…" Luke said noticing the sun was setting through the window.

"Shit.." I mumbled. "Luke. When they come in here, they're gonna cut us down, if you get the chance to run, you take it. They don't want you. They want me. Find my brothers. They'll kill them, if you don't they'll remember your scent and come after you later."

"Emily stop… I'm not leaving here without you. End of story. So stop trying to get me to run."

"… you're so damn stubborn." I sighed.

Footsteps. Dammit, we're running out of time. We've got to figure out how to get out of here.

"Luke… when they cut us down. In my bag. There's syringes prefilled with deadmans blood. Stab them with it, it'll give us the chance to get away."

"Okay." He nodded.

I watched as 4 men appeared out of the shadows under the dim lighting.

"How's it hanging?" The lead asked with a smile.

"Please… tell me how long you've been waiting to break that line out." I replied dripping with sarcasm.

"You are quite the smartass, baby Winchester."

"Yeah well, better to be a smartass then a dumbass."

"Roy… cut em down." He said to one of the men behind him. They cut down Luke, and then me. Our hands were still bound, and I could feel the soreness in my shoulders from being dangled for hours. My arms stiffly fell down towards my lap, I looked over to Luke to see him wince as he moved his arms as well.

"So, wha's the big plan here? Toy with us a little, one for breakfast and one for lunch?" I asked trying to stand.

"Oh no.. I've got something much better in mind. See. I happen to know that you didn't slaughter her. My Rosie… I turned her myself. I always wanted a daughter, she was perfect… and then that bumbling idiot brother of yours sliced her head off right in front of me."

"Oh boo hoo.." I said rolling my eyes, the vampire approached me and backhanded me, knocking me back to the ground.

"Emily! Don't you touch her!" Luke yelled, he went to advance the lead but he was quickly grabbed and held back. I sat up and spit the blood out of my mouth onto his shoes.

"That tickled." I grumbled, trying to stand again. When I had almost gotten up the vamp used one foot to my chest to knock me back down, then he stood over me.

"I'm gonna wait till he shows up to rescue you. Make sure I've got his full attention. And then I'm going to rip you in half with my bare hands." He said with a wicked grin. Dean always taught me to never show fear, but my face faltered and it took me a second to recompose it.

"My father's already dead. You're revenge is a moot point. Dean has no daughter. So really what's your plan here?"

"Haha, stupid girl… it doesn't take long to see it. Yes you're his sister, but in his heart… you're much more. You're the daughter he'll never have, you're the child he raised. Trust me. I think it's a fair trade."

"So what about him? What's he got to do with all this." I said nodding towards Luke.

"Oh, he's just a fun snack along the way. Come on love, I happen to know big brother is close by. Time for the show." He said pulling me to my feet and pushing me out the door, Luke was following behind.

"Well, sunset must have been pretty." I mumbled as he pushed us out on the dock, the sky was skill painted in bright reds and oranges since the sun had just fallen below the line of the horizon.

"I wouldn't know, not a big fan of the sun." He replied sarcastically.

"Now who's being a smartass." I groaned. He threw me down, busting my lip against the dock and then dragged me back up again by my hair.

"Let her go!" Luke yelled and struggled against the men who held him. One sucker punched him in the gut, knocking him to his knees as he coughed.

"Sit tight dear, I can smell big brother, he's close."

Moments later I could hear the rumble of the impala as it came into sight. Dean emerged, as did Sam and Jo. Machete in hand, ready for a fight.

*Dean's POV*

"Deano! So nice of you to finally join us… lovely setting isn't it? I figured these lovebirds would appreciate a good view for the final moments." The lead called to me, one hand roughly grabbing Emily's arm as she pulled against him. Fury ran through me like a flood. I surveyed the situation. 4 vamps. Luke being held by two of them, Emily by one, and another standing off to the side preparing to be wherever he is needed when the time comes.

"Sorry I don't think I caught your name." I said with a polite but tight grin.

"Lance. And that pretty blonde your slaughtered at the nest was my dear Rosie."

"Really? A blonde named Rosie? I think that's a name preserved for redheads only. Sounds like I did you a favor. Try again with the next one."

"I'll keep that in mind." He growled at me.

I slowly stepped onto the long dock and made my way towards them. Sam and Jo flanking me.

"So what? You kidnap a couple horny teenagers to get back at me?"

"No… see I got lucky finding them when and where I did. I just wanted the girl, the boy's just a snack for the road. Roy here is real hungry, ain't that right Roy?"

I looked over to see one of the vamps reveal its fangs and knock Luke down to his knees, then I glimpsed at Em. Her eyes wild with fear as she watched, I could see the wheels turning, she was fixing to make a move, probably not a smart one.

"Emily don't!" I yelled, but it was too late, she used her bound hands to knock the lead vamp in the face before shoving herself forward and ramming herself against the vamp preparing to feed on Luke. It all happened so fast but its like I watched it in slow motion. The dock was too narrow and in the midst of knocking the vamp over she threw them both off of the dock, sinking into the murky water below.

"Emily!" I yelled knowing that she can't swim with bound hands, the vamp resurfaced and I moved to dive into the water as did Sam, but the vamps charged us.

Jo ran to Luke and decapitated the vamp holding him, pulling him away from the edge of the dock while he screamed for Emily.

The lead ran at me teeth bared but he had no idea what a desperate man was capable of. I charged him and we met with a clash louder than thunder. We fought for only moments before I pinned him beneath me and stared into eyes full of hate as they went dim, blood running across the dock from his separated head.

"Dean! Emily hasn't come up!" Sam yelled killing off the last vamp. I dived into the water without hesitation, hearing Sam jump in behind me. I swallowed as much air as I possibly could and dived down, searching for her. Hoping to spot air bubbles. I ran out of air after a minute and swam up to grab more. When I hit the surface Jo and Luke were leaned over the side, searching for her from above the water.

"Do you see anything?!" I called frantically. They searched and looked around. Sam came up for air and fearfully shook his head to inform me he can't find her.

No.. no no no no! Dammit! I can't lose her!

"There!" Luke yelled pointing over to wear her body has floated to the surface. Sam and I raced to her, Sam getting there first and dragging her back up to the the boat ramp.

"Emily! Babygirl come on, wake up!" I said slapping her cold face lightly. I laid my head against her chest.

"Dammit! She's not breathing!" I said frantically as I started CPR, Sam breathing air into her as I pounded against her chest.

"Breathe Em! Come on! Please!" I cried feeling the unfamiliar sting hit my eyes.

"Dean.." I could hear Jo cry weakly behind us, Luke staring with devastation in his eyes. To them she was already dead… she was gone.

"No.. No Wake up! WAKE UP!" I yelled to her refusing to accept it the way they had. She can't be dead.

Just as Sam sat back and fell to the ground in tears she flopped and began to cough up water, I turned her on her side as relief washed over me. Rubbing her back as she gasped for air between spits of water.

She eventually rolled over on her hands and whimpered as she emptied the rest of her lungs. When she sat back up I grabbed her shivering body and wrapped her against me. I almost lost her… I could have lost her.

"De.." She whined weakly.

"I'm here babygirl, I'm here. Shhh…" I cooed as I rocked us back and forth. I met eyes with a teary Sam and he leaned over kissing the top of her head.

"God Em… you scared the hell out of us." He said.

"I'm sorry." She whispered hoarsely, coughing at the end.

"Come on, lets get you two out of here." I said looking up at Luke, who's face looked exhausted. He'd been through hell and back, and I knew that he was just as scared of losing her. I stood first, pulling her up with me. She stepped away form me to hug Jo, and then she fell against him. He leaned down and kissed her gently. As much as I wanted to beat him senseless for getting freaky with my little sister, I was thankful someone loved her. Thankful someone made her happy.

*Emily's POV*

We all crammed into the impala, I was surprised when Dean let me sit in the back with Luke instead of shoving me in the front seat between them… I know the lecture is coming. I'm in trouble. BIG trouble… but that won't happen until the shock of me almost dying wears off for everyone.

I thought that was it… I died. I stopped breathing. My heart stopped beating. I was dead. But I did it to save Luke, it was him or me. And I'd choose the same way if I was given the chance to do it over and over again.

I leaned against him as his arm latched me to his side, holding me tightly and fingers grazing my arm. I don't understand how he's still standing. This is a lot for someone to take in. Anyone else would have fallen apart by now. Yet here he is. Holding me together instead.

When we got to the motel we all changed into dry clothes, thankfully Sam leant some to Luke.

"So… how much trouble am I in." I quietly asked Dean as I walked next to him at the sink while he made himself a cup of coffee. He wouldn't even meet my eyes.

"I think you should go back to everyone else." He finally said harshly.

"…Okay." I whispered walking away. Realizing this was going to be worse than I anticipated.

I sat down at the table, accompanied by Sam, Jo, and Luke. When I did Sam looked at me giving me an apologetic smile, silently telling me he was sorry because he knows what's coming. Then I turned to look to Luke, who watched me with careful eyes. I know we need to talk… I know what I need to do. But I don't want to. I just want to lay in his arms, in that soft warm bed that smells like him. I want things to go back to the way they were. 24 hours ago. SO much had changed in so little time.

"Sam.. I'm uh. I'm gonna walk Luke out, if that's okay." I said carefully watching Dean for a reaction. He gave none, still not facing any of us.

"Yeah Em. Sure." He smiled sadly… knowing what was coming next. I stood and grabbed Luke's hand. Leading him outside to his truck. When we were finally alone he let out a long sigh.

"Man.. you weren't kidding. Your life is intense." He said as he wrapped his warm arms around me. I buried my face against him. Savoring his smell, his touch, the felling of his skin grazing against mine. Like an alcoholic savoring their last drink.

"I'm so sorry you got caught up in all this… you should be safe now. All of them were killed so no one else should have your scent." I said quietly, feeling the lump in my throat grow.

"Em, I'm really not that worried about me. You're the one who just died. Literally… are you gonna be okay?" He asked as he softly pulled my face up to his and kissed me. It made me think of last night. How sweet he was. How amazing he made every part of me feel. Reminding me how hard this really was going to be.

"Yeah. I'll be fine." I said but my voice broke on the last word.

"Emily, I love you. Don't cry babe…" He said as he kissed the tears off my cheek.

"I love you too… which is why we have to stop this." I whispered with my eyes shut, too afraid to open them and see his face.

"What?" He asked as his stilled against me. "What do you mean?"

"THIS is why I left Luke. THIS is why I lied… my life. Its not safe, it will never be safe. And having you in it… puts you at risk. And I can't always be here to help protect you. There are things out there, terrifying things, that want me dead. They want me to suffer, and they'll kill you without a second thought just to hurt me. I can't let that happen."

"Emily… don't do this. I'll be fine. I'm a big boy, just give me the cliff notes and I'll make this work. I can protect myself." He argued defensively.

"Luke. I love you… but you don't understand. You dying _because_ of me, would kill me. I'd never be able to live with myself if that happened. I hate this. I do… it's the last thing I wanted. Especially after yesterday… after last night. But. I have to do this. For both of us."

"Emily no, please… don't leave me again." He pleaded softly. It crushed everything inside me to hear his voice sound so defeated. Even though he was trying, he knew deep down my mind wasn't changing.

"I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I should have just let you go. Spared you from all this." I said as the lump in my throat made it difficult for the words to escape.

"No. No… I'm glad you came. I don't regret for a second anything we did. Any of it." He said rubbing his thumb across my jaw. He kissed me again, this time with more eagerness, realizing that this was goodbye.

"Me neither." I whispered, kissing him back deeply. When he pulled away he let out a deep breath.

"I'll miss you… please. Be careful, and if you ever change your mind. You know where to find me." He whispered into my ear. He kissed my cheek one last time before climbing in the truck, I startled as the engine came to life. His eyes never left mine, until he pulled out of the parking lot. It felt like my heart was in that truck, and I'm not sure if I'll ever get it all back.

I stood there until I was composed enough to face the people inside of the room. When I walked in, Dean hadn't left his spot at the sink, Jo and Sam were talking, but stopped. Both watching me with careful and pitying eyes. I didn't want it… the pity. This was my fault.

"I, I'm gonna take a shower." I said looking down at the floor and grabbing my bag as I walked in and shut the door behind me. I turned on the water and stood beneath it, letting the noise mask my sobs. I've screwed up everything… Dean can't face me. I lost Luke. I could have gotten Jo or my brothers or Luke even killed… I nearly got myself killed. All of this. Its all my fault.

*Dean's POV*

"Dean… you have to talk to her eventually." Sam said after the shower turned on.

"Sam. Drop it." I warned sipping the coffee in my mug growing colder by the second.

"No. Dean. She screwed up, okay? I get it, and I'm sure she knows that already. But I'd say she's had a pretty bad day to answer for it. She almost died, and you and I both know that conversation she just had didn't end with a 'see ya next time' … she's probably in there right now falling apart!"

"Sam! I said drop it." I yelled turning around to face him and Jo. "I will talk to her when I am ready. Not a second before. So lay off! If you're so worried about her then YOU go talk to her."

"Oh I intend to… but you and I both know she needs to hear this from you." He said getting up and slamming the door as he walked outside.

"Jo." I said after a moment of silence.

"Yeah?"

"I don't blame you for this. I know you only came along to help."

"Dean I think maybe you should cut her some sla-"

"Jo I just made it very clear that I wasn't angry with you. I'd stop there unless you want to change that."

"…Yeah. Okay. Got it."

Sam came back in and I suggested that him and Jo run and grab food. They agreed and I sat at the table. Waiting for the shower to shut off."

*Emily's POV*

I dried off and dressed, letting my damp hair fall against the Metallica shirt I stole from Dean, my sweats dragging against the floor. When I opened the door the room was empty… except for the angry silent Dean sitting at the table staring straight ahead.

"Where's Sam and Jo." I asked quietly stepping out and putting my bag down.

"Food run."

"Oh." I said sitting cross legged on the bed across form the table, taking a pillow and hugging it to me for comfort. Dean's gaze never moved, he just sipped his coffee in silence, never actually looking in my direction.

"Dean.. I'm sorr-"

"Don't." He said shortly, cutting off my apology.

"I just wanted to see hi-"

"I said don't!" He yelled, his furious glance falling on me for the first time since we got back. "This is by far the STUPIDEST thing you have EVER done." He continued. I sat in silence, afraid to speak. "I get your 16 and your emotions are all over the damn place but never did I imagine you would pull a stunt like this… how could you?!" He asked standing up and walking towards me.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, instead I just stared at him.

"Not only did you run off while Sam and I were too busy working a case to be able to help you if need be, but you ran off HOURS away to see a fucking boy! Why didn't you just ask! We would have taken you up here Emily! Dammit why couldn't you just talk to me!"

I flinched as his voice got louder, but this didn't seem to phase him.

"NONE of this would have happened if we were with you, you would have been safe! YOU WOULDN'T HAVE NEARLY DIED!" He yelled getting closer to my face. I instinctively retreated until I was pushed against the headboard, trembling. I've never seen him so angry… I know he won't hurt me. But… he just. He's so angry.

"Dammit Em. I'm so disappointed in you." He sighed turning and running his hand through his hair. At that moment Sam and Jo came back in the room. Taking in the tension between us. Sam eyed me carefully, going back and forth between Dean and I. Silently asking me if I was okay. Dean stomped over to the table and began to pull out the food that Sam laid on the table. Jo awkwardly set down the drinks and sat at the other end of the table away from Dean, no one said a word. Not until Sam asked if I was hungry.

"No thanks." I mumbled.

"Get up and Eat." Dean growled, not bothering to stop eating himself. Without another word I got up and sat between Jo and Sam, picking at the food, not making eye contact with anyone.

"Do you still have another room for tonight?" Dean asked out of the blue, his question caught me off guard. I didn't even know he knew about that… it only makes the whole situation worse.

"No… it was just for one night." I answered barely above a whisper. Dean stood and threw his trash away.

"Jo can share with me, that way we don't have to waste money on another room." Dean grumbled as he pulled off his jacket and laid down in the bed. "Is that okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. Fine by me." Jo said trying to alleviate the awkward tension. "I'm ready to hit the sack anyways." She said with a brief smile and a squeeze to my hand before she got up and got in bed herself.

I followed suit, throwing away the half eaten food and turning off the light before climbing in the opposite bed, staring away from Dean, but feeling his eyes on my back. Sam was the last one in bed, turning off the last of the lights and making sure the door was locked. He laid down in the bed and sighed. I watched as he turned and faced me. His eyes meeting mine, Sam has this ability to communicate without having to speak… he could always look at me and know how I was feeling. He could use one look to replace an entire conversation. The longer he looked at me the more I felt myself slipping. Dean's snores filled the room and I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding.

"Sammy…" I whispered.

"I know Em." He said pulling me into him and letting me fall apart. Kissing the top of my head and pulling his fingers through my damp hair.

"I swear I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn't know." I cried against him.

"Shhh.. I know kiddo."

"Dean's so mad at me… he won't even look at me."

"Em he's just upset. We thought we lost you today kiddo. You were literally dead in his arms. His worst fear was right in front of him. Dean doesn't process things like the rest of us, you know how he is. He gets angry and hides behind that. He was just scared. We both were." Sam explained as he pushed my hair behind my ear, whispering so as not to wake up Dean or Jo.

"I couldn't let them kill him." I said between sniffs.

"I know. I get it… I would have done the same for Jess. I'm sorry things didn't work out with you two. I really wanted this to work for you."

"I didn't want to do it, but I can't let him get hurt again." I cried again for an entirely different reason.

"I know Em… I know. Get some sleep, its gonna be a long day tomorrow." He whispered. I nodded and folded myself against him, needing to feel solid ground beneath me for once today, and Sam was that solid ground.


	37. Chapter 37

Okay guys this is a total sappy short little chapter to go between the last one and I'm gonna do heart next. I was gonna put heart in on this one, but I got this much of it done, and I'm gonna be busy for a few days so I thought I'd post this and then do heart next, that way you guys aren't left hanging out to dry. ITS SUPER SAPPY. I apologize in advance. I'm fixing to hit my 'emotional' time of the month, Lol. Guess sometimes you write for the mood you're in. Don't judge! You women know how it is. Anyways… next chapter is back to the story line, getting us closer to the end of season two- which will be BIG. As will the beginning of season 3. Please read and review! We are 1 review away from 100! I'm so humbled and thrilled about that. Thank you to each and every one of you who take time out to read about Emily and follow her story. I love you guys!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

I can feel it… the heaviness in the air… slow steady breathing and a few light snores float amongst it. I could only sleep for maybe an hour or two, then I woke up, and I remembered. Everything.

The tension that filled the room from the day's events still lingered, even though everyone but me was still sleeping. The ache in the pit of my stomach still pulls at me… telling me I've lost him. The guilt reminding me just how much Dean can't stand to look at me. The pity from Jo and Sam.

If I move I'll wake up Sam… so I don't. I just lay there and soak in what's become my life in the last 24 hours. How amazing it was, and how only moments later it was all ripped away from me. I'd be lying if I said this was the first time that's ever happened. Cause its not. Its just the repeating pattern… things are shitty. Things get better, things are great… then they fall apart.

I laid there till the faint light of the sun began to come through the blinds, then I figured it was safe to move. I gingerly climbed out of bed, Sam stirred, but didn't wake up. I grabbed a spare blanket off the couch and walked out the front door, silently opening and shutting it so that I didn't wake anyone else either, Dean in particular.

There was a small bench against the brick wall of the motel next to our door. I sat in it and wrapped the blanket around me, the cold air bit at me, but it felt good. It felt nice to not feel suffocated. My eyes wandered until they fell on the empty parking spot that held a large muddy truck only hours ago.

I felt sickness roll through me remembering how I stood beside it and sent away the one person who's arms I wanted to fall into right now. Then my eyes trailed to the day old blood that stained the concrete, a completely different sickness washed over that reminded me why I did so. As hard and as miserable as this is for me… for him. It's the only thing I can do to keep him safe.

I leaned down my head and wrapped my knees against my chest, letting the tears fall again. Hoping that no one will walk by and see. Everything in my body wanted to go to Luke. Knowing he was only ten minutes away, it was torture. Its why we left so fast the first time. Because I know I can't deny myself for long. Every bone in my body ached for his touch, to have him hold me, kiss me, I wanted to breathe him in just one more time.

The sound of the door next to me opening hastily caught my attention, I jumped and turned my head to meet eyes with Dean. He must've woken up and realized I wasn't in the room. He stopped and visibly relaxed when he looked at me. But he didn't say anything. I could tell he was assessing me. Looking me up and down, taking in my current emotional and physical state. He stopped and looked back at my face, stood there for a minute- in silence, and then walked back in shutting the door.

"Ouch." I muttered letting my eyes fall to the ground. Feeling the sting of guilt and rejection. He won't even speak to me, this is the first time he's looked at me since he screamed at me. It was obvious he was still extremely angry at me. I sat outside until I watched him come out the door a second time, this time completely ignoring me as he walked to the impala and pulled out of the parking lot. I sighed deeply and figured it was probably time to go inside.

When I walked in Jo was in the shower and Sam was sitting at the table. He looked up to me confused.

"Hey kiddo where you been?" He asked as I sat down next to him.

"I couldn't sleep, so I waited till it was light out and then went to get some fresh air, I didn't leave. I just. Sat on the bench outside. I promise."

"Em, why didn't you wake me…"

"Because you were sleeping. I know they say misery loves company Sam, but I couldn't bear to wake you up."

"Emily you don't have to go through this alone. I know when Jess died I pushed you and Dean away, and I'm sorry for that. I know Luke isn't dead, but I know you feel like you've lost someone important to you. And on top of all that you had a pretty traumatic day yesterday. I mean you must feel like crap right now." I do actually… physically I feel like someone used a steel scrubber to scrub out my entire chest. Its sore and raw from my throat to the bottom of my lungs. My body is sore, my face is bruised and my lip is busted. Yeah. I feel pretty crappy. But this kind of pain I'm used to. This kind of pain I can handle… the pain I feel inside trumps the pain everywhere else.

"I'm fine." I mumbled looking down at my hands. "Did he say anything this morning?" I asked hesitantly.

"No.. he didn't. I assume he ran out for coffee or breakfast or something. He'll probably be back soon."

"Sam… is it a bad idea to see him one more time?" I asked feeling tears build again. "I just… I feel like I NEED to see him again."

He sighed and looked at me sadly.

"Em, seeing him again is up to you… but it won't make this any easier if that's what you're asking. Goodbyes hurt kiddo. You'd just be prolonging the process."

"I just want to go see him." I cried. Sam pulled me against him for a minute before I heard the bathroom door open, then moments later the front door.

"Alright. Pack up, we're leaving in an hour." Dean announced setting down the coffee, no water bottle this time, and walking into the bathroom.

"Well. I guess it doesn't matter what I want." I mumbled getting up and packing my stuff. I was sure to situate myself in the backseat. I expected Jo to climb back there with me, but to my surprise it was Sam, leaving Jo to sit up front with Dean. I looked at him curiously, he gave a small smile and put his arm over me. Conveying his message about me not being alone in all this… I was thankful for him.

I stared out the window… watching the scenery go by. This town was small, but nice. Comfortable. I watched as the school came into my vision, my heart nearly stopped when I watched that same large muddy truck come into my vision, and then it twisted in pain as I watched a tall boy with shaggy hair and a football jersey walk away from it, he briefly turned, recognizing the sound of the impala's engine. Our eyes caught for not even a fraction of a second. But enough for me to know it happened.

But the tires kept spinning, and just like that he was truly behind me now. I glanced up and found eyes watching me from the rear view mirror, when they met mine they quickly looked away.

How long is he going to keep this up…

The ride to the roadhouse was laid back, I didn't say much of anything, Jo and Dean joked in the front seat. Sam would butt in every now and then, but he never forced me to join. Knowing that right now I just wanted to be left alone. I caught Dean peeking back at me a few times, but he always looked away when I tried to meet eyes with him.

When we got back Jo stepped out of the car, Dean and Sam made no move to follow, so neither did I.

"Em, wanna help me get the bags real fast?" Jo asked.

"Yeah sure." I said climbing out and carrying one of her two bags into the small house behind the bar.

(Sam's POV)

"Well Dean are you proud of yourself?" I asked once Em and Jo were a ways from the car.

"Excuse me?"

"Congratulations man… you've officially become the biggest asshole on the planet."

"Oh fuck you." He mumbled fiddling with his radio.

"Dean she is devastated! She didn't sleep last night, she just laid there because she was afraid to wake you up. Afraid to piss you off again, she's tip toed around you all damn day. I know you're trying to recover from yesterday too, okay I get it. You almost lost her, I almost lost her. So I know you keep replaying it over and over in your head and asking yourself what if we hadn't found her, what if we didn't get to her in time, what if she didn't come back. You see it in your head over and over again! But you can't keep treating her like this."

"Oh yeah and how would you know any of that."

"Because I've been doing the same damn thing Dean! Why do you think I've stayed at her side this entire time. I almost lost her! I'm not letting her go now that I've got her back, and neither should you. Dean she is so hurt already, and you know it. Yet you keep making her feel like complete shit. Its gotta stop."

"Sam why don't you mind your own damn business. Whats between me and her is my business not yours! I'll handle it when I'm damn good and ready. I already told you once to lay off, and I meant it." He growled back at me.

"Dammit Dean… you have got to be the most stubborn person I've ever seen. I get your still pissed, okay? I do. We haven't gotten the chance to sit down and discuss this with her the way either of us would like to, but right now. We need to be there for her, the rest can wait. I'm just thankful I still have her… and I know that's only because of you. And I will always owe you for that. I gave up. But you never did."

"Sam just stop okay?! I'm done with this conversation."

"Why because its scares you?" I accused.

"Oh come on.. really?"

"Yeah Dean, Really… it scares you to think about it. It turns your bones into jello to think about how close it was, and its all of that fear you keep turning into anger, anger that you're taking out on her. Face it, own up to it, and get over it."

"Shut up, Sam." He said not meeting my eyes, confirming every word I just said. Everything in me wanted to keep going, but I could hear Emily making her way towards us.

(Emily's POV)

"Hey. I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am… I feel like maybe if I did something differently things wouldn't have gone down the way they did."

"Jo! No. You didn't do anything wrong… if anything I'm sorry I dragged you into all this. I could've gotten you killed. I'm sorry Jo. I really am."

"Hey, don't be. I got to share a bed with your brother." She said with a large grin.

"Ew. Jo." I chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it… for real though. If you need me. You know where to find me."

"Thanks Jo."

"No problem, and hey. Dean will get over this. It was just really bad Em. I thought you were a goner. Everyone but Dean stopped… but he refused to. He saved you. He loves you Em. That's why he's so angry."

"I know… thanks again Jo. See ya around."

"Later Winchester. Tell your brother to call me." She said with a wink.

I walked back to the impala and found Sam and Dean yelling at each other. I couldn't make out the conversation, but I imagine it was about me since it stopped when I got within hearing range. Sam watched me walk to the car and rolled down the back window.

"Hey kiddo I'm gonna lay down and crash for a few hours, do you mind sitting up front?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yeah sure." I mumbled and half smiled, but inside everything in me tensed. He was doing this on purpose. I could tell from Dean's annoyed face he also knew, but I silently climbed in and shut the door anyways.

Dean turned on the radio and drove down the road, driving for another 2 hours without as much as a word out of either or our mouths, Sam asleep in the back seat. I always felt safe and at home in this car… it was always comfortable. But right now I can't stop twitching, playing with my hands, repositioning in the seat. The tension that filled the seat between my brother and I was thicker than smoke.

When I finally felt like I could explode I turned to him.

"Dean can we please talk."

"No." He said not skipping a beat.

"Dean please… I-"

"I said no!" He turned and yelled at me.

"Well than can we at least stop soon… cause I can't sit in this car much longer." I mumbled, feeling angry, guilty, and most of all rejected.

Dean didn't reply but 30 minutes later we were pulling into a motel. I quickly got out of the car, grabbing my things as Dean went to get the room keys. Sam was stirring awake in the backseat.

"Hey, where are we."

"I don't know." I answered shortly.

"Em you okay?" He asked getting out of the car and coming to stand next to me.

"No! Why would you do that…" I snapped pulling away when he tried to comfort me.

"Do what?" He asked innocently.

"He doesn't want to talk to me Sam! He hates me right now! And I don't blame him, okay?!"

"Emily, I just wanted him to-"

"Stop, okay just stop! I swear Sam… I'm starting to wonder if you would two should have just let me drown." I said grabbing the bag and stomping off, going towards the open room that Dean just walked into.

"Emily don't." I heard Sam call after me, but I ignored him, walking into the room and dropping my bags on a bed before going into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. I sank down to the floor, and stayed there. I didn't want to face either of them. I didn't want to be around people, I wanted to be with Luke. Even though I knew I shouldn't…I stood up and I pulled out my phone.

I dialed the all too familiar numbers and held it to my ear waiting for the ring. But instead there was a long pause, and an unfamiliar voice telling me the number had been disconnected. I stopped and hung up, redialing the number. Sure that I must have misdialed it the first time. But again… and again. Instead of ringing it beeped and that same voice filled my ears.

He changed his number…

There's always one straw that breaks the camel's back… well this was it. I know he probably did it in the best interest of us both. Knowing that we would struggle to not contact one another. I know he didn't do it to be spiteful… but he still did it, and quickly. Every piece of me that fought to stay standing gave way, deciding it didn't want to fight. I didn't want to fight it anymore. I wanted to be as miserable as I fought not to feel. I wanted to lay there and soak up how much I hated everything about this. How hurt I was… I wanted Luke. I wanted to get in the car and drive for hours to find him again.

But instead I crumpled and sobbed into the dirty floor. Sam knocked on the door repeatedly… begging for me to open it. But I didn't. I couldn't. I couldn't muster the motivation to move. All I could do was think of the way his hands felt on my body, and the fact that I'll never feel them again. Dean never knocked on the door once. Its hard enough to get past losing Luke, trying to process almost dying on top of it… but Dean. I can't handle having him angry at me anymore. I can't handle him ignoring me anymore. Not now when I really and truly need him.

The anger replaced the pain and I pulled myself off the floor and straightened my shirt before ripping open the bathroom door, Sam was sitting against it fell backwards, and I stepped over him and walked up to the man drinking a beer at the table, who was reading the newspaper. I walked over and smacked the beer out of his hand.

"Get up!" I yelled, my face still wet from the tears. He looked straight ahead and didn't move. Didn't blink. His face never wavered. He just stared at nothing, letting the paper fall back onto the table and the beer soak the floor.

"I said get up and look at me!" I yelled at him. He stood up and watched me, I watched the anger return to his face as he towered over me. But instead of talking he shook his head at me and turned around to walk away.

"Hey!" I said grabbing his arm. "I'm still here! YOU are the one who saved me! YOU Dean! But quite frankly I don't know why you did it if you can't even stand to fucking look at me!"

"Excuse you?!" He finally asked, his anger increasing.

"You heard me! You can't save me, and then ignore me for the rest of my life! So lets just get this shit over with! Cause I can't take it anymore!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry your feelings are hurt, poor little princess broke up with prince charming! Huh? Is that what you're so upset about?" He asked mockingly.

"Dean.." Sam warned.

"No Sam, you wanted this conversation to happen well guess what its happening!" He said glaring at Sam, telling him to stay out of it.

"I mean what the hell were you thinking?! Huh? Tell me!" He screamed finally talking to me. "You knew your hands were tied, you knew that dock was too narrow! You practically jumped in the fucking lake Emily! I mean come on, I know you like the kid and all but what the fuck went through your head?!"

"I couldn't let them kill him Dean! I couldn't let him die because of me! Dean I love him…" I yelled feeling the tears come back.

"Yeah and I couldn't let you die!" He yelled fiercely. "I couldn't lose you! Did you think that me and Sam were just gonna be okay with all this?! WE love you more than ANYTHING in this shitty world, and you were just gonna give your life for him, leave us for him!"

"Well here I am Dean! I'm still here and I need you!" I cried. "I'm sorry you think I picked him over you but it wasn't like that! It never was, I just… I didn't want to lose him. But I did anyways. And I-I… I keep trying to process the fact that I was dead.. but I can't get past it and dammit Dean…" My voice began to give out on me. "I hate it when you're mad at me… I'm so sorry. Okay, I fucked it all up! I get that… but please. I can't."

He stood in silence and watched me begin to fall apart again

"Please… De… I can't do it anymore." I cried.

Arms enveloped me, held me up as my legs gave way, and then he swept me up in his arms and walked us to a chair. I wrapped my arms around his neck and sobbed what few tears I had left after a day full of breakdowns. When I finished I didn't move. I stayed with my face hidden against his neck and shoulder, trying to steady my breath again.

"You know I wasn't… mad. I just. Em I was terrified. You scared the hell out of me. I thought I lost you." He whispered as he squeezed me to him.

"I'm sorry De." I whispered back.

"I know kiddo… its okay. We're gonna be okay." Dean said with a long sigh.

Sam sat on the bed and watched us, then he offered to run and get some food. He leaned down and kissed my cheek before walking out the door.

"You know theres a few things we need to talk about…" Dean said quietly.

"I know." I sighed.

"First off." He said pulling us to wear we could face each other, I moved off his lap and sat in the chair next to him. "I hope you realize you'll be 50 before we trust you to be alone again."

"Seems fair." I said leaning my elbow on the table and my head against my arm.

"Second of all. You're not stupid… so explain to me how you missed that you were being followed. I mean Em you never miss shit like that. Your senses are on point. What the hell happened?"

"I just… I was so excited to go see him De." I whispered looking down. "I picked up Jo and we had fun driving all night singing to the radio, and when we got there I was exhausted and Luke came to get me, and I just… never noticed. I know it was stupid."

"No. It wasn't. It was wreckless. The whole thing was Em. I mean what would have happened if Sammy and I got stuck on the job a day or so longer… what if Jo hadn't been there, or if she had gotten killed. I mean all you had to do was ask us and we would have taken you to see him. I know these last couple of months you two have been trying to figure all this out, and as much as I hated it. I would have supported you coming down here."

"I just… I didn't think you would actually go for it. And I had the car and a few days where I thought you guys would be busy, I promise. I planned to just stay a day or two and drive back. None of this was supposed to happen like it did."

"Obviously." Dean stated sarcastically. I could tell part of him was still upset with me, but he was trying not to show it.

"Are we done?" I asked innocently. Praying what I feared was coming next wouldn't.

"No. We're not. Emily I hate to bring this up as much as you hate for me to do it, but we need to talk about it."

"Ugh.. Dean. No we don't. We don't have to."

"Yeah. We do." He said as uncomfortable as I felt. "Again, I get that you're a teenager. Your emotions and hormones are all over the place. But I'm not okay with you running off and getting a room for the night with some boy."

"it wasn't just some boy Dean… It was Luke."

"I don't care who it was! To me its always gonna be some boy."

"Dean… please. Just. We used protection okay, I don't want to ruin the memory by talking about it with my brother, please."

"Ruin the memory?" He asked with eyebrows raised.

"Yes. Okay, It was good! Really really goo-"

"Okay you can stop there." Dean said looking like he could puke.

"I'm just saying, it was NOTHING like last time, I know it may have been wrong, but I don't regret it. I would much rather preserve the memory than ruin it by discussing it with you. I was safe. I listened. Okay. I brought condoms. Please… can we just not talk about it this time. Last time I needed to, and I even wanted to as uncomfortable as it was. This time… I don't."

Dean watched me carefully as I talked, then he slowly nodded. Sam came back in the door, setting our food on the table in front of Dean and I.

"Well, I'm just glad my condom stash came in handy for one of us, man I need to get laid." Dean said pulling out his burger. Sam rolled his eyes.

"I didn't use those." I said munching on a fry.

"I thought you said you used protection?" Dean asked confused, catching Sam's attention.

"We did, the ones you gave me were too small." I said nonchalantly.

"Excuse me? No they weren't." Dean said nervously. Sam tried to stifle a laugh.

"Umm.. Yeah. Actually they were. Luckily Luke brought his own."

"What?! No.. no way. I'm at least a-"

"Dean! Stop! I don't want to know your, your… size… Okay?! That's just weird." I said thoroughly grossed out.

"I'm just saying! There's no way those things are too small unless the guys hung like a horse!" He said defensively staring at me, I quickly looked back down to the table and cleared my throat.

"So Sam, how's the salad?" I asked trying to change the conversation.

"..How can you even walk right now?" Dean whispered to himself.

"DEAN! Stop!" Sam yelled. "This!" he said pointing to me. "Is my BABY SISTER. I don't want to think about it and neither do you so just drop it. Please."

I sat for a minute eating my dinner in silence, still upset about the whole Luke situation, but finding this conversation temporarily amusing. Then an idea struck me and I just couldn't resist.

"You know Dean… maybe he's not hung, maybe you're just not as big as you think you are. Make sure you're measuring in inches and not centimeters." I said getting up to get a drink. I heard Sam bust out in laughter behind me and Dean disappear into the bathroom. I laughed, genuinely, for the first time all day.

"Oh kiddo, that was cruel. Hilarious… but cruel." Sam joked as I sat back down.

"Its just payback for the cold shoulder." I said with a smile. Sam ruffled my hair and we enjoyed the rest of our dinner in silence.

Sam passed out first, sprawled out on his bed, so I climbed in the second one and bundled myself under the blankets. Wondering if I'd be able to actually sleep tonight. I almost dozed off when Dean's voice caught my attention, he was at the table looking over local papers for a case.

"You still up kiddo?"

"Dean… I was just joking. I'm sure your 'size' is adequate." I mumbled.

"No, that's not what I was gonna ask." He said with an annoyed tone. I giggled.

"Yeah I'm awake, what's up." I said sitting up and leaning against the headboard.

"What triggered your little meltdown earlier? I mean you were really upset Em."

"Oh.." I mumbled, surprised by his question. "Umm… it was. Stupid."

"…Stupid enough to talk about?" He prodded.

"I uh, I tried to call Luke. It had just been a shitty day… I just wanted to talk to him. Even though I know I shouldn't. But when I called… he had the phone disconnected. He uh. He changed that number fast didn't he." I let out a humorless laugh, before looking up at Dean.

"Em. I'm sorry… I know you were really into the kid." He said sincerely.

"Doesn't really matter though does it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean it doesn't matter… I told you that night we first left after the prom. I'm not good for him… I'll just get him killed. Hell I almost did get him killed. It doesn't matter how much I'm into him, or how badly I want it to work… it won't."

"Emily, I know you feel like you're in pieces right now, but when you pick em back up, there will be other guys. Who knows… maybe even other hunters your age. Something like that could work out easier."

"Dean… since when did you want me to date hunters. You once told me the only thing a hunter wants a good time for the few days he's stuck in a town. He doesn't want an anchor."

"I know… but I hate seeing you so broken up over this guy. That's another reason why I didn't want you running around having sex with the guy. Sex complicates things. Women can't detach themselves like men can. It just gets you more hurt in the long run."

I looked down at the blankets and twisted my fingers together.

"So… he doesn't. I mean… you think Luke is detached already?"

"No, No Em that's not what I meant sweetheart." Dean quickly said backtracking, realizing how I had interpreted his words. He let out a deep sigh as I continued not to look at him.

"I just meant that I was worried this wasn't going to work out, and if it wasn't going to work out then throwing sex into the mix was a bad idea cause it only makes it worse in the end."

"I just wanted to be with him Dean… I. I love him…loved. Whatever."

"Em come on, your 16, are you sure about that?"

"Well… if it wasn't love then I don't know what it was. But I know it hurts like hell now."

"It'll get better kiddo."

"Dean… After all this. The only thing I want is to still be with him. I know I can't, but I want it so bad it hurts." I whispered.

Dean stood up from the table and made his way to sit next to me on the bed.

"You're gonna be okay Em. Me and Sammy will do anything we can to help you. Okay?"

"Promise?" I asked leaning against him and drifting to sleep.

"Promise."


	38. Chapter 38

Author's note: Okay guys we are 3 chapters away from the finale including this one! I'm super excited to write it! I hope it pleases you all and I'm happy to FINALLY get to reveal what 'powers' Em might get, also very early season 3 we WILL get to find out what happened to Em to cause her panic attacks. Thanks for being patient and keeping up with the story! We broke 100 reviews! I love you guys so much, all your kind words keep me writing! Sorry its taking so long to update, we moved into our new house and have no internet until the 21st so I'm having to go to my parent's house to upload the chapters. Please bear with me, once I have my own internet again things will speed back up.

"Dean please… it's just down the road." I sighed.

"No. You can wait till me or Sam are ready to go." He mumbled handing me another gun to clean. My gun was getting dirty so Dean felt that we needed to clean ALL of the guns today while prepping for our next case. My money's on a werewolf. Sam however lucked out of cleaning because he was 'gathering information' on the vics.

"Dean. Come on, I'll walk. I don't even need the impala!"

"Emily no. You're not leaving our sight EVER again." He said looking me straight in the eye. I sighed and gave up, going back to weapon's cleaning. I guess that's fair.

"So." Dean said turning back to Sam. "This lawyer guy the first heart-free corpse in town?"

"First _man_. Over the past year, several women have gone missing. Dead bodies all washed up later in the bay, too deteriorated to draw firm conclusions."

"But no hearts?" I asked. Werewolf. I swear it's a wereworlf.

"No hearts. They were all hookers working Hunter's Point. Now, cops are trying to keep things under wrap, but they're looking for a serial killer." Sam said.

"And the lunar cycle?" I asked with eyebrows raised.

"Mm-hmm. Yeah, month after month, all the murders happen in the week leading up to the full moon." Sam said smiling at me, obviously thinking the same thing I was.

"Which is this week, right?" Dean asked. "

"Hence the lawyer."

"Awesome." I smiled.

"Emily, could you be a bigger geek about this? You and Dean both are over there grinning like idiots."

"I'm sorry, man, but what about "a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight" don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids." Dean said grinning.

"And uh, I've never seen one!" I added.

"Okay, Princess. And you know what? After we kill it, we can go to Disneyland." Sam mocked. I threw a rag at his face and he laughed at my expression.

"You know what the best part about it is? We already know how to bring these suckers down." Dean grinned digging out a silver bullet. "One of these bad boys right to the heart. So, what's our next move?"

"Talk to the girl who found the body."

"Alright De. Last gun." I said handing it to him. "Now can you please take me down the road to the store. I seriously need some tampons."

Sam cringed slightly and Dean rolled his eyes.

"Yeah yeah yeah." Dean groaned putting away the rest of the guns and grabbing the keys.

It was a short drive to the small store down the road. When we pulled up there was a familiar rumble, and with it my head snapped to the left. I spotted the large black truck, and my heart jumped and sank all in one swift motion, I don't know why I expected him to climb out of it… I know its not him. But I still held my breath until I saw the old man climb out of it, completely oblivious to the fact that I was watching.

I sighed and looked away from the truck, not realizing Dean had been trying to get my attention.

"EMILY!" He said snapping his fingers in front of my face, causing me to jump slightly. I startled and turned towards him.

"What!" I said wide eyed.

"What the hell are you looking at?"

"Nothing, I'll be right back…" I groaned and moved to get out of the car. I expected to go in alone, but Dean quickly exited the car when I did, I noticed him stand and look over the hood of the impala and past me, his eyes also landing on the truck. I watched his face sink a little before looking back at me.

"Emil-"

"Come on Dean… lets just go." I said as I walked inside, knowing he was trailing behind me.

I went straight for tampons, he went straight for pie. Go figure.

I grabbed my necessities and a king sized Hershey's bar before making my way to the counter, Dean meeting with me halfway. I smiled slightly as he held up a box of nerds and grinned. He knows they're my favorite, but only the pinks.

"We can even make Sam pick out all the purple ones." He teased, making a small giggle rise to my lips. We waited in line and I watched as the old man paid for his beer and climbed back in his truck. Deans arm found its way over my shoulder and I leaned into him.

The drive back to the motel was silent, I got there and changed for bed. Grabbing my box of nerds and sliding my legs under the blankets.

"…Does it ever get easier?" I asked out loud as Sam and Dean were getting ready for bed. Sam didn't look surprised by my question so I'm sure Dean told him about the truck.

"Yeah Em it does." Sam said sitting on the bed across from me.

"When?" I mumbled pouring a handful of pink nerds into my hands, picking at them a few at a time.

"We don't know kiddo… its different for everyone." Dean said flopping down on his belly next to me and opening his mouth- insisting I share my candy. I popped open the purple side and watched as he rolled his eyes, but still graciously accepted them when I dumped them in his mouth.

"I feel like part of me is stuck in that truck… with him. Does that make me sound pathetic?"

"No. I still feel like part of me was buried when Jessica was. It just… takes time. Slowly you'll feel that part of you find its way back." Sam said with a small encouraging smile.

"I still get the urge to call him… he's still the first person I want to tell when something happens. He's the first person I wanna call when I'm upset. I just… miss having him in my life." I mumbled, Dean rolled over and sat up beside me. I instantly leaned across him with my pillow and let him trace his fingers across my back.

"Kiddo I know its not the same thing… but Sammy and I are here for you. So come to us when you feel like that."

"I know De… its just. Different. I just. I feel like had I just not gone and seen him, not screwed everything up. I'd still have him."

"Emily you and him were struggling in the situation you were in… it wasn't getting any better. Even if you hadn't gone to see him. I honestly don't think it would've worked out. Long distance is hard. Lying to him was hard for you. You and I both know going to see him was the only thing you could do to save your relationship. Which is why you were so set on going."

"…Since when are you the one so in touch with my feelings De? I thought that was Sammy's job." I said surprised by his words.

"I'm not in touch with your feelings weirdo. I just know what was going on in that head of yours. In case you forgot- no one knows you better than me."

"Maybe I should just become a lesbian…" I mumbled. Sam and Dean both snorted and Dean laughed.

"I don't think that would spare your feelings any. Women are cruel. Trust me." Sam warned.

"True… If I dated a girl and our cycle's synced… it'd be a nightmare." I pondered out loud.

"Oh. Okay… Gross. Can we just NOT cross into that territory?" Dean asked cringing. Sam laughed but looked just as disgusted.

I laughed thoroughly entertained by the boy's disgusted looks. I drifted into a dreamless sleep not long after. Three days… three days and so far not one dream. Not one nightmare. But every second that I'm awake. I'm missing him.

The next day I woke up and the boys were already in their monkey suits. Shit. I hate the monkey suits. I mean who wears skirts anymore? Really?

"I dressed into the pencil skirt, white blouse, and matching blazer, and attempted to slide on the heels.

"De." I groaned. "These shoes won't go on. My feet are swollen. Can I just wear converse?"

"Are you kidding me? Converse with a business suit?"

"Hey. Until you deal with this shit you don't get to judge. You're lucky I'm wearing this thing at all. I'm so bloated I could pass for pregnant in this tight ass thing."

"Well sweetheart you're then one who fought to get the tight skirt. Now get up and own it… No converse."

I mumbled a string of not so friendly names under my breath as I forced the heels on- and then snuck the converse into the impala in my bag.

I glared at Dean as I stomped my way through the parking lot, emphasizing my distaste for the heels today.

"Really Em?" Sam asked sarcastically.

"Shut up Sam."

I took my place in the backseat and waited till the boys were preoccupied to sneakily switch out my shoes. When we climbed out of the car the boys didn't even notice my sudden height drop of at least 2 inches. I grinned to myself as I followed them into the building and watched as Dean knocked on the door of the young woman's apartment.

When it opened I was surprised, she was pretty. Really pretty. Not like, packed on the make up, spend 4 hours getting ready every day pretty, but that natural beauty that you're either born with, or you're not. She was.

"Hi, can I help you?" She asked politely. I knew Dean would be the one to speak up, but I was surprised when Sam beat him to it.

"Yes, Umm, Madison, we're with the police department, we'd like to ask you a few questions about a recent death at your office." He said kindly, his eyes boring into hers. Oh. Yeah. He's noticed how pretty she is too. I watched as Dean's face recomposed from surprise to professional.

"I don't understand. I already gave my statement." She said confused looking between the three of us.

"Right, well, we just need to verify a few things. " Sam said cutting off Dean for the second time. I had to hold back my grin. I like this Sam. He takes charge. There were footsteps from inside the apartment moving towards the door, Madison opened it and introduced us to the man inside.

"This is my neighbor, Glen. Glen, this is Detective… "

"Landis. And Detective Dante. Oh, and our intern Mrs. Cramer." Dean said almost a little too fast, obviously trying to beat Sam to it. I lightly kicked his heel, telling him to back off and let Sam take lead on this one.

"Well, I guess I'll leave you to it." Glen said as he nodded and walked past us all with a polite smile.

"Okay. Thanks for the casserole." Madison smiled at him.

"Oh, how thoughtful." I mumbled. Cheesy really. Dean quickly threw an elbow at me.

"Just call if you need anything." Glen reiterated before closing his door across the hall.

"He's sweet. He came over to check on me. Have – have a seat." She opened the door and waved us in, we all sat around her kitchen table.

"You must be pretty shaken up. You were Nate Mulligan's assistant, right?" Sam asked.

"For two years, yeah."

"So, you knew all about him?"

"Probably knew more about him than he did. Nate was…" She smiled slightly uneasy. "He was nice."

"But?" Dean prodded. Realizing there was more to the story. I pretended to take notes as the boys spoke.

"Nothing, really. I – He had a few scotches in him, and he'd started hitting on anyone in a five-mile radius. You know the type."

"Yeah. I do, actually." I answered quickly. Sam and Dean both kicked me under the table as they drooled over the woman. Pathetic.

"Did, uh, did he have any enemies?" Sam asked getting Madison's attention back on him.

"What do you mean? It sure looked like an animal attack."

"No, yeah, we're just covering all the bases. Anyone that might have had a beef with him – a former client, an ex?" Dean asked. Madison's face faltered for a moment, but it was enough to catch.

"What is it Madison?" Sam asked gently, wooing her with his puppy dog eyes. I could puke… or maybe… I'm just jealous and missing Luke. My sudden revelation made me more ready to leave then I already was.

"Well, this is embarrassing, but my ex-boyfriend, Kurt—"

"Kurt have a last name?" Dean interrupted.

"Mueller. After we broke up, he went kind of nuts. He's… well, he's kind of been stalking me. He got it in his head that something was going on between Nate and I. He showed up at my office."

"What happened?"

"Kurt got into it with Nate, threw a punch before security grabbed him. I was lucky to keep my job."

"When was the last time you saw Kurt?"

"A few nights ago. Actually, the night Nate died. We were all grabbing drinks at this bar, and Kurt showed up." She shook her head, obviously not happy reliving the memory.

"And?" I pushed.

"Nothing. It was ... like he was watching me. Then he was gone. To tell you the truth… he scares me."

Well. She said the magic words. She's scared. Guess who just became target number one in the mind of the two Winchester men who obviously find this woman extremely attractive. Especially Sam. He visibly tensed at her admission of fear.

"Well, I guess that's all we need for now. Thank you for your time." I said standing with a polite smile, the boys unwillingly followed and Madison walked us back out to the hallway.

"Nice shoes, heels are overrated." She said as we walked out. I smiled, even though I'm busted, at least this chick was cool.

"I couldn't agree more." I said before leading the boys down the hall, Madison watched for a moment before closing her door.

"Seriously?! When did you even change shoes?" Dean asked once we hit the stairwell.

"In the car. You two were too busy drooling over Madison to notice I guess."

"What? We were not drooling. We're just doing our job." Sam said defensively.

"Uh huh." I grinned as we walked outside.

"Sam you were drooling just a hair, might wanna get that.. right, there." Dean teased reaching over pretending to wipe his chin. Sam swatted at his hand.

"So, what do we think?" I asked getting us back on track.

"Stalker ex-boyfriend? He hates the boss. And he was there that night." Dean said.

"Think he's our dog-faced boy?" I asked excitedly.

"Well, it's a theory." Sam admitted.

"We've had worse." Dean pointed out.

"Yeah." I agreed.

"What do you say we pay Kurt a visit?" Dean and I smiled widely, but Sam couldn't deny that this was shaping up to look more and more like our wolf man.

We had to kill some time till the sun went down, so we went to do what Winchesters do best. Eat. This place was more of a bigger city than we were used to, so there were dive bars and pubs on every corner, cafés with outside seating along the sidewalks, and a fancy restaurant here and there. I opted for a small café, but Dean demanded the pub. Shocking, I know.

I looked around the bar as my brothers and I all picked at our food. Couples… couples everywhere. Couples kissing, dancing, talking… fighting. I mean I even miss FIGHTING with him. How pathetic is that?

You know what I really miss… the sex. It was only one time. But I mean, do you need more than one time to realize that you REALLY. Really. Reeeeeally enjoy sex. Its like a high for your body. I want it back.

I just couldn't tear my eyes away from everyone else's happiness. I wanted to drown them all in their own mushy gushy bullshit feelings.

"Hello?! Earth to Em." Sam said as he waved his hand in front of me.

"Yeah huh, what?" I asked annoyed.

"Em. Do you wanna leave?" He asked softly, realizing what I was looking at.

"No. Sam. Just… No." I groaned and went back to eating my fries, pretending to look over something in the files we had.

I glanced up and realize they were doing that thing where they talk without actually talking to each other.

"Okay. I really fucking hate it when you do that. Its quite obvious you're talking ABOUT ME! So stop and just talk outloud!"

"Its just that we're worried about you kiddo. Maybe you should sit this one out." Dean said hesitantly.

"Um, and miss getting to kill a fucking werewolf?! I don't think so. If you think I can't do the job then just say so! Don't blame it on this shit with Luke!" I said angrily.

"Whoa, Em that's not even what we're saying!" Sam said.

"Oh yeah, sure sounds like it? You think I can't handle it? Think I'm too weak? Well screw you both. I'll kill the bastard myself!" I said standing and stomping off, walking towards Kurt's apartment building in the cold.

It wasn't hard to notice the two giants that were following me at a distance, but I chose to ignore that. I pulled out my lock pick and began picking my way into Kurt's building. We were almost in when there were sudden gunshots and a scream from around the corner, we took off running, and I beat the boys to the bloodied body of a police officer behind the dumpster.

"I'd say Kurt's looking more and more like our Cujo." Dean said leaning down and examining the body.

"Dean, if he's out here, we better check on Madison." Sam said.

"Oh please… just because you've got a hard on for her doesn't mean we have to rush over there." I snapped crossing my arms.

"What the hell is your problem? You and I both know that if Kurt is the guy than Madison is a target." He replied.

"You're my problem!" I yelled at him, he was preparing to yell back before Dean cut in.

"Hey! That's enough! We're on the job, now act like it… lets go." Dean said grabbing my arm and dragging me to the car, an angry Sam following behind us.

When we got there Sam basically ran up the stairs, knocking loudly on the door.

"What's going on?" A male voice from behind us called as Madison opened her door. Glen.

"Police business, Glen." Dean answered shortly.

"What is it?" Madison asked.

"Well, maybe we should talk privately." Sam said glancing between her and Glen. She opened the door and led us inside.

"Can I get you some coffee?"

"That'd be great thanks." Dean answered.

"Has Kurt been here?" Sam asked.

"Not exactly." Madison sighed.

"What exactly does "not exactly" mean?" I asked trying to hide my annoyance at her vague answer. Dean kicked me and shot me a warning look. I flipped him the bird without anyone else but him noticing.

"Well, he was outside last night. Just…looking. Just looking at me. Has he done something?"

"We're not really sure." Sam admitted.

"It's probably nothing, but… we just don't wanna take any chances. In fact, one of us should probably stay here with you? Just in case he stops by. Where does he work?" Dean asked.

"He owns a body shop."

"You mind grabbing that address for us?" She nods and walks away

"All right, you go. I'll stay." Sam quickly said. Imagine my surprise. I gagged a little eliciting a glare from him.

"Forget that. You go after the creepy ex. I'm gonna hang here with the hot chick." Dean argued.

"Dude, why do you always get to hang out with the girls?"

"'Cause I'm older."

"No, screw that. We settle this the old-fashioned way."

"Just hurry before I kick you both out and stay here myself." I groaned. They quickly set down their coffee and readied themselves for rock paper scissors. Dean of course is predictable. Sam's got this one in the bag. They flip on three, Sam smiles.

"Dean, always with the scissors." Sam said slapping him on the shoulder.

"Shut up, shut up. Two out of three." Dean demanded. But yet again- predictable.

"Dammit!" He said as Sam's rock smashed his scissors.

"Bundle up out there, all right?" Sam said with a victorious grin. I pulled Dean towards the door.

"Hey Em." Sam called out.

"What?" I asked annoyed.

"Just... be careful okay?" He said concerned.

"Yeah." I said looking down at my feet and following Dean out the door. I hate it when he tries to be nice to me when I'm mad. It always works. DAMMIT!

Dean and I drove over to Kurt's body shop and I asked to stay in the car, I just wanted to be alone for five minutes. Dean didn't argue, but eyed me carefully before getting out of the car and walking in.

Once he was out of sight… I pulled out my phone. I don't know why, but I just had to check and see. I dialed the number and hit call.

Unsurprising disappointment filled me as the recording again reminded me that this number is not in service, leaving no option for a forwarding number. I hung up and sighed, laying my head against the window and shutting my eyes. I just want to hear his voice. I just want him to tell me he still loves me. That he misses me… I just want him back.

But the memories flood back to me and make me nauseous. Reminding me why I said goodbye in the first place. Its hard when the biggest battle your fighting is with yourself. Do I allow my selfishness to put him in danger? Or my love for him to torture me as I try and move on without him. This sucks ass. I jumped slightly as the door opened and Dean sat down inside.

"Find him?" I asked not meeting his eyes.

"Nope… you good?"

"Yep." I said popping the p at the end.

Dean sighed, indicating he knew I was lying, but he didn't push. Instead he pulled out his phone and put it on speaker.

"Hello?" Sam answers stiffly.

"Let me guess. You're sitting on her couch like a stiff, trying to think of something to say."

"Did you find Kurt?"

"No, he hasn't been at work all week. But because I'm good, and I mean really, really good, I got a line on where he might be… What's she wearing?"

"Bye, Dean." Sam said briefly before hanging up.

"Oh, Sammy." Dean chuckled… but I didn't. Guess my sense of humor is lacking today.

"So where is he?" I asked.

"…You're not gonna like it." Dean admitted.

"Why is that?"

"He's at a strip club."

"And you thought tits would offend me or something?" I snapped. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Stupid uterus.

"No… I didn't. I just didn't think you'd find the thought of going to a strip club with your brother appealing." He snapped back.

"Whatever Dean! Just drive." I groaned leaning forward and turning the radio up as loud as it would go, ending the conversation. Dean shook his head and mumbled something, but I really didn't care what it was.

The strip club wasn't far away. I got out and followed Dean in, grabbing a fake Id from the glove box.

"You stay by my side at all times… some guy even LOOKS at you wrong, and you tell me. Got it?"

"I can handle myself. I'm wearing a long sleeve skynrd shirt and jeans, Dean. Not much to look at."

"You heard me." He warned leading us inside. This place was gross. It was smoky inside and reeked of alcohol, like it had been spilt hundreds of times on the neon confetti carpet. It was dim, but the stage was lit brightly with neon colors, men sat around it like a buffet. Disgusting. I rolled my eyes as Dean made his way to the stage.

"Really Dean, you couldn't just grab a table?!"

"Incase you forgot… we're here to find Kurt." He snapped, nodding at the man directly across form us. Kurt. Shit…

"Well I can see Kurt just fine from the table over there." I growled as I got up and walked away. Dean grabbed my arm.

"I'm serious Em. Anyone comes near you, you holler at me. I'm watching you" Dean said low, close to my ear so I could hear him over the music. I ripped my arm from his grasp and walked away. Sitting in a booth within his range of sight, also leaving me the chance to watch Kurt.

It was about 5 minutes before the waitress approached me, her tits hanging out and her too short shorts letting her ass cheeks hang out.

"Can I get you anything sweetie?" She asked kindly.

"Whisky on the rocks, please." I said looking her up and down.

She nodded and walked away. Dean looked back at me, then at Kurt… then at the stripper that came out on stage. What a pig. I watched him make a phone call- probably to Sam, and toss a few bills to the woman who danced in front of him.

"Here ya go hun." The waitress said as she set my drink down in front of me.

"Thanks." I said eyeing her outfit again.

"… I know what you're thinking. But the tips kick ass. I don't have to get on stage, but still make almost half of what the girls up there do every night. Trust me. Its not as bad as it seems." She said catching me off guard. I felt guilty for a moment, judging her. I smiled slightly and looked down before looking up to her again.

"Wanna sit for a minute, I'm sure you could use a break from all these assholes." I offered. She laughed and nodded, sitting across from me.

"So why are you here darling. You're no where near 21, and you're definitely not a lesbian or you'd been eyeing me for a totally different reason."

"You know I'm not 21 but you give me whiskey anyways?" I questioned. She shrugged.

"I guess I know everyone has bad days." She finally said.

"My brother's at the stage over there… I just got stuck tagging along."

"Ah, I see. So why the whiskey?" She prodded. I sat for a minute deciding how I wanted to answer her.

"…rough break-up."

"Oh darling, we've all been there. I tell you what. That one's on me. How old are you anyways?"

"16."

"Well, trust me when I say you've got your whole life ahead of you. Someone else will come along. I promise. And then he'll break your heart too.. and maybe another. But eventually. You'll find a good one."

"What if you already lost a good one?"

"Well. Those are a little tougher to understand. I'm guessing you dumped him?"

"Yeah." I sighed taking a drink.

"Did you have a good reason for doing it?"

"Yes." I answered without hesitation. I know I did what was right for him.

"Then eventually you'll believe that and it won't be so hard, but at first. Nothing will make sense. You'll question every decision for a while. You'll call him. Again and again… but it doesn't help."

"What helps?" I finally asked.

"Me paying for another drink." She said noting my empty glass. I smiled as she got up and walked away, only dropping off my second drink with a smile before moving on to the next table.

I glanced up to find Dean watching me, I took a long sip. Knowing he would probably come and take it away from me the moment he realized what it was. It burned all the way down but it felt refreshing in a way. Like it was burning away all the shit between me and Luke.

Dean stood and walked towards me, one more long sip. As he sat in front of me he slid the glass over to him and raised it, sniffing what was inside. He looked at me and tossed back the glass, finishing it off before sliding it back to me.

"Okay. Talk."

"Dean. Can we just not?"

"So you'll talk to a random waitress, but not to me?"

I looked at him and rolled my eyes.

"What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me why you're on Sam's ass. He's got a thing for the girl, so what? Since when are you all about ruining Sam's fun? Let him give a lady some attention. You know how much he needs this after Jessica."

I felt guilty… Dean was right. Sam did need this. It was good for him. But it was so hard to watch.

"I just. I don't know De… its like watching him. Or anyone- even you and the stripper. I just want them to feel as miserable as I do." I said, lowering my voice to a whisper at the end. "I'm a terrible person, right?"

"No kiddo. You're not. You're just hurt, pain makes people do weird things."

"I just want it to go away."

"It will… over time. Till then, you gotta learn not to take this shit out on Sam, or me if you don't mind. I kinda enjoy the stripper."

I giggled.

"I'm sorry De."

"Hey- don't say it to me… Say it to Sammy."

I sighed and looked around, noticing that Kurt was up and moving.

"De, look." I said pointing.

"Looks like its time to go, you in?" He said standing and extending his hand .

"Yeah. I'm down. Lets get us a wolf." I said with a cheeky grin, he laughed and pulled me out of the booth, we slowly followed Kurt to the parking lot. Watching him and the skank he was with barely make it to the car with their clothes on. We waited till they left the parking lot to follow after in the impala, we stayed 2 or 3 cars back so that we wouldn't be seen. Then we posted up where we could see Kurt's apartment from the street.

"Do we really have to watch this? I mean. Its like a bad porno."

"How bout you stop watching." He said shielding my eyes with his hand.

"De. Not a virgin anymore. Really no need to shield me here. I get the picture."

"Don't remind me please." He mumbled.

Kurt walked over and shut the curtains some, but still leaving enough open to catch glimpses here and there. I had just settled in the seat and began to doze off when Dean tapped my shoulder.

"Hey. Someone's screaming, lets go!"

Dean charged in, kicking in the door and I could hear the glass crunching under someone's weight in the bedroom. Another scream erupted, this one a man's we opened the door to find Kurt bloody and dead on the floor- along with his 'date'. Even more disturbing was the woman standing over him, well… the wolf-woman. Before I could gather my thoughts to realize who it was, she charged me and I went sailing into the wall. Everything went dark.

When I came to the sunlight was coming in through the window. I looked up and met the face of the woman Kurt brought home, but it was splattered in blood. I quickly jumped back, hitting the wall that was now cracked from the force of my body being thrown into it. I looked around, blood everywhere.

Dean.

"Dean! Dean!" I said frantically crawling over to him.

"De wake up!" I said shaking him, he finally stirred and then jumped awake.

"Em? Where is she?" He asked looking around.

"She's gone I guess. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… what about you, let me see your head." He said tipping it to where he could see the bruises forming.

"I'm fine De… we gotta call Sammy. I think it was Madison."

"It was." He said dialing his phone and putting it on speaker.

"Dean, you guys okay?" Sam said answering the phone.

"Yeah, now that we're conscious. The werewolf knocked us out. Sam, it's Madison."

"What?!"

"Yeah, awesome job of keeping an eye on her." I said.

"Em, I've been here the whole time. She's in bed, asleep."

"Well, she wasn't an hour ago. Check her right arm below her elbow. I nicked her with a silver knife." Dean instructed. But instead of replying Sam hung up the phone.

"Shit… that can't be good. We gotta go." I said pulling on Dean's arm and running out to the car.

Dean sped the entire way back to Madison's apartment. When we walked in Madison was tied to a chair in the kitchen, crying. Looking lost and confused. Sam looked upset. Can't say I blame him. I'd be upset it my crush turned out to be a monster.

"How you doin'? My head feels great, thanks." Dean said sarcastically to Madison.

"We've gotta talk." Sam said instantly pulling us into another room. "She says she has no idea what I'm talking about."

"She's lying." I said as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet.

"Or maybe she really doesn't know she's changing, you know? Maybe – maybe when the creature takes over, she blacks out."

"Like a really hot Incredible Hulk. Come on, dude, she ganked her boss and her ex-boyfriend. That doesn't sound rash and unconscious." Dean argued.

"Yeah, but what if it was, Dean? I mean, what if some animal part of her brain saw both those guys as threats? Hell, the cop, too."

"What are you, the Dog Whisperer now?" I asked crossing my arms. Sam rolled his eyes at me.

"Look, I just… I don't know, there, there, there was something in her eyes." Sam pleaded.

"Yeah, she's killing people!" I argued.

"But if she has no control over it—"

"Exactly. She can't control it. Even if she's telling the truth, it's not gonna change anything." Dean interrupted.

"I'm not putting a bullet through some girl's chest who has no idea what's happening." Sam said firmly.

"Sam, she's a monster, and you're feeling sorry for her?" I asked.

"Maybe I understand her." I rolled my eyes and looked down the floor letting out a deep sigh. "Look, there might be another way we can get the job done without having to waste her." Sam stated.

"Are you thinking what I think you're thinking?" Dean asked.

"Does someone want to share?" I asked looking between them.

"Dad's theory – "lycanthropy might have a cure if you kill the werewolf who bit you, severing the bloodline"." Sam said reading from the journal.

"MIGHT have a cure. Meaning , who the hell knows?" Dean retorted.

"It's worth a shot."

"We don't even know where to start looking, all right? I mean, the puppy that bit her could be anyone, anywhere. It could've been years ago."

"No. I don't think so." Sam said before turning back to the kitchen, Dean and I followed him.

"Madison, when were you mugged?" She didn't answer him. "Please. It's important, all right? Just answer the question."

"About a month ago." She said hesitantly.

"Did you see the guy?"

"No. He grabbed me from behind."

"Did he bite you?" I asked.

"How did you know that?" she answered after a moment of staring at me.

"Where?"

"On, on the back of my neck."

Dean and Sam moved to inspect the scar.

"Oh, that's just a love bite. Believe me, that could have been a lot worse. Where were you at the time?" Dean asked.

"Walking home from a friend's loft."

"Let me guess. Not too far from Hunter's Point?" Sam then said with a cocky smile looking between Dean and I. Madison nodded.

"The same place where those other murders happened. I'm telling you, it's a werewolf's hunting grounds." Sam said turning back to face Dean and Me.

"Maybe, but that doesn't mean it's gonna be out there tonight." I pointed out.

"It's the right time of the lunar cycle. Look, I know it's a long shot."

"Hey, you're forgetting something. Maddie's probably gonna turn soon, all right? We can't just let her take off to an all-you-can-eat buffet." Dean added.

"I'll stay with her."

"And if she busts loose?" Dean asked. Sam looked away in silence.

"Sam?" Dean asked again expectantly.

"Then I'll do it. I'll shoot her, all right? But Dean, I need you to go out there. At least go look for the thing. Dean, please. We can save this girl."

"…Fine." Dean said after a long pause. Sam nodded thankfully and Dean turned to leave. I went to follow but stopped.

"Sammy… I'm sorry." I said facing him. He smiled and wrapped me in a hug.

"I know kiddo, its okay."

"I'm just having a hard time with all this, but that doesn't mean I should take it out on you."

"Sometimes its easier to be mean to the people who you know love you, because you know they'll never hold it against you."

"So we're good then?"

"We're always good Em. I love you."

"Love you too Sammy. Becareful with her okay? She's stronger than she looks." I said pointing at my head. He laughed and released me.

"I think I can handle it, you guys be careful too."

I smiled and followed out the door after Dean. Skipping down the hallway to catch up with him.

"Alright we need a plan." Dean said to himself out loud as we walked over to the impala.

"Well we can't exactly leave it to chance and hope some girl is gonna be walking around tonight for bait… so let me do it."

"No way." He said shortly.

"Dean, come on. I can do this. You'll be right there the whole time. I trust you, now trust me." I argued.

"Ugh, I'm gonna regret this." He moaned.

That night we waited till the moon was high in the sky and I took my place in the alley, gun filled with silver bullets. I know Dean is close and watching, but I'm still nervous. I've never faced a werewolf before last night, and uh. That didn't end well.

Every small noise made me want to draw my gun, but I resisted knowing it could give me away. Instead I walked down the dark alley, waiting.

It was only a minute or two before I heard a growl. With a gasp I turned to look behind me… nothing there. I turned back to be faced with fangs and claws. I drew my gun but the wolf quickly slapped it out of my hand. I punched him in the face and turned to run.

"Dea-" I tried to yell but was caught off guard when the werewolf grabbed me and pulled me back, throwing me on the ground and dragging me away.

"Dean!" I screamed. He stopped and turned to me, straddling my body with his legs and crouching down, preparing to kill me.

"Hey!" A loud male voice shouted. The wolf and I both looked at the same time. Dean fired 3 times, each bullet hitting the wolf straight in the chest, he slowly fell off of me and I scrambled back to Dean. He grabbed me and lifted me.

"Are you hurt?! Did he get you?" Dean asked frantically searching me for wounds.

"No. No I'm okay." I said catching my breath. We walked over to the werewolf.

"Dean… its Glen." I said sadly.

He began to change back into human form, gagging on blood.

"It happened ... again. Where am I? H–help me. Oh, God. Oh my God." Glen cried choking on blood. Dean leaned down to him.

"All right, easy, Glen. Just take it easy." Dean said, then the light faded out of his eyes and Glen died.

Dean sighed and stood next to me. "Well kiddo… lets go check on Sam. See if this worked."

I nodded sadly, I kinda felt bad it was Glen. He too seemed to have no idea he was a werewolf. I thought getting to kill this thing would excite me. But instead I just feel sad.

We texted Sam when we pulled out front of Madison's building. He waited till sunrise and then joined us after letting Madison wake up.

He got in and I scooted over to sit in the middle of them, leaning against Dean sleepily.

"So did you get him?" Sam asked.

"Yeah… it was Glen." I answered sadly.

"It was sort of sad, actually. Glen had no clue what was going on. Hey, why do you think he turned Madison instead of just killing her in the first place?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. I mean, he kind of seemed to have a thing for her."

"Maybe his primal instinct did, too. Maybe he was looking for a little, uh, hot breeding action."

"Yeah. Something like that." I snorted at Dean's analogy.

"So?" Dean asked looking at Sam.

"So what?"

"Speaking of Madison …?" He said with eyebrows raised.

"Oh, whatever." Sam shrugged him off.

"Don't "whatever" me, man, you liked her. Maybe, uh—"

"Dean, she thought I was a stark-raving lunatic."

"You saved her life." I added.

"Yeah, but she doesn't know that." Sam said just as Madison appeared at the window. Sam rolled it down and we all looked to her.

"You know, for a stake-out, your car's a bit conspicuous. What are you still doing here?"

"Honestly? Uh, we're pretty sure you're not gonna turn tonight, but we've gotta be a hundred percent, so… you know, we're ... lurking." I said nonchalantly. Hoping it would sound the least creepy coming from me rather than the boys. Madison just nodded and sighed.

"I know this sounds crazy." Sam admitted.

"Sure does. Well, if we're gonna wait it out… we might as well do it together." Madison suggested. We all followed back up to her apartment.

"You were telling the truth, weren't you? About everything. What you did – it was to help me." Madison suddenly said to Sam as she closed the door.

"Yeah."

"I did all of those horrible things … when I turned."

"You didn't know." Sam said full of sympathy.

"So, when will we know for sure? Moonrise?"

"No, I don't think so. You turned middle of the night last night. I think we've gotta hang in until sun-up."

Dean nodded in agreement.

"Well, it looks like we've got ourselves a few hours to kill. Poker, anyone?" Dean asked with a grin, pulling out a deck of cards.

Throughout the day and night we played cards- awkwardly. Dean ran out for food, pizza of course. We took turns sleeping. But I spent most of my time watching Sam and Madison interact. It wasn't just that he was into her… its that they were into each other. Longing looks, jumpy when they accidentally brush against each other, Madison making sure to bump against him more than necessary. Sam's smile… his genuine happy smile. I love that smile. I love it when he's happy… but all of it makes me feel that much worse. The sun can't rise fast enough.

I'm happy for Sam. I am, its just that I am slowly losing the ability to hide how it makes me feel, and I don't want to ruin this for him.

Finally… we stood at the window and watched the sun come up.

"Does – does this mean it worked?" Madison asked nervously.

"Yeah. I think so." Sam said with a relieved smile.

"Oh, God, thank you. Thank you so much." Madison sighed and hugged Sam. I turned away to not watch, and Dean cleared his throat. I slapped his ribs, what an ass.

"You, too, Dean. Thank you." Madison Laughed. I started walking towards the door.

"Aw, don't mention it… So, we're just gonna head back to the hotel and … watch some movies or something." Dean said awkwardly, realizing that Sam wanted to stay and we were cock-blocking. I grabbed him and pulled him out the door.

"Madison gimme a sec, Emily wait." I heard Sam call out. He pulled me away and into another room.

"Em are you sure you're okay with all this?" He asked me.

"With what?"

"With… me and Madison."

"Oh, Sam. Weird. Don't ask my permission to get laid." I said thoroughly grossed out.

"I'm not. I'm just saying. I can leave if you need me too."

"No. Sam. I don't. I want you happy… the way she makes you smile. I miss seeing that. Really. I'll be okay, I've got Dean. And I know if I need you, you'll be there. Please, don't ruin this thing with Madison because of me." Especially since I struggled all day and night not to ruin it for you.

"Okay kiddo… thank you."

"Okay. Well I'm gonna leave now." I said with a smile and a wink. Sam rolled his eyes and laughed following me out of the room. I walked to Dean and he wrapped an arm around me as we left.

"De. Can we just agree that I should never date again." I sighed as we descended the stairs.

He snorted.

"Yeah right. Like that's gonna happen."

"Hey. You asshole, I'm pretty determined when I set my mind to something."

"Not boys."

"Well I don't know what else to do."

"Just give it time Em. You've gotta have some patience, granted that was never a Winchester's strong suit. Its hard, but you'll get through it."

Dean and I went back to the motel after grabbing lunch at the diner in town. It was a quiet day… too quiet. Until there was someone banging on the door.

I quickly grabbed my gun and Dean jumped up to answer it.

"Sam?" He said opening the door.

"She – she turned." He said breathless.

"What?"

"I couldn't grab her in time."

"We'll find her, Sammy." Dean said as we all rushed out the door and down the steps of the motel.

"I already called Bobby. He doesn't know anything. Except he knew severing the bloodline wouldn't work. That's everyone. They all say it's impossible to reverse it."

"How come she didn't turn when we were with her?" I asked.

"I don't know."

"So, what, you put her to bed and then she wolfed out? Maybe she's gotta be asleep to turn." Dean guessed.

"What the hell does it matter, Dean? Look, we've gotta find some way to help her, some legend we missed or something." Sam said frantic.

"If there was, don't you think someone we know would've known it?" Dean asked.

"Well, then we have to look harder! Until we find something." Sam yelled.

"Sammy, I don't think we've got a choice here anymore." I said softly reaching for his hand.

"What?" He said pulling away from me.

"I hate to say it. She's a sweet girl, but Em is right, part of her is—" Dean started.

"Evil?" Sam finished angry.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, that's what they say about me, Dean! So me you won't kill, but her you're just gonna blow away?"

"Sam stop! Its not the same thing." I quickly said cutting in before we get into THIS fight all over again.

Sam's phone began to ring, he answered it immediately.

"Madison, where are you?... Well, do you see any street signs?... All right, hold on, Maddie. We're coming to get you, just stay where you are."

Sam ran to the impala and we followed, it wasn't long till we were picking up a pretty much naked Madison. I lent her some clothes out of the trunk for the drive back to her apartment. When we walked in my heart felt heavy, like an anvil. I know what has to be done, and I can tell by the look on her face the whole drive over here, that she knows it too.

"I don't remember anything. I probably killed someone last night. Didn't I?" She asked.

"There's no way to know yet." Dean answered.

"Is there something else we can try to make it go away?" She asked, but she already knew the answer.

"We'll find something. I mean, there's gotta be some answer, somewhere." Sam said hopeful, taking her hand in his own. It ripped me up to know how much this was gonna hurt him.

"That's not entirely true. Madison, you deserve to know. We've scoured every source. There's just no cure." I said quietly.

"Is – is she right?" She asked looking up to Sam. Tears filled his eyes and he began to get choked up, he turned away from her. Unable to answer.

"Well, we could lock you up at night, but … you bust out, and some night you will, someone else dies… I'm sorry. I am." Dean said earnestly. Madison began to cry.

"So, I guess that's all there is to it, then." She finally sighed.

"Stop it. Don't talk like that." Sam said turning back to her.

"Sam, I don't wanna hurt anyone else. I don't wanna hurt you." She said reaching for the gun as tears fell down her face.

"Put that down." Sam told her.

"I can't do it myself. I need you to help me." She whispered handing it do him.

"Madison, no." Sam pleaded.

"Sam… I'm a monster."

"You don't have to be. We could find a way, all right? I can. I'm gonna save you."

Madison began to cry harder, but tried to regain her composure.

"You tried. I know you tried. But this is all there is left. Help me, Sam. I want you to do it. I want it to be you."

Oh no… Sam. My heart began to sink, he can't do this. I can't let him do this.

"I can't." He whispered back.

"I don't wanna die. I don't. But I can't live like this. This is the way you can save me. Please. I'm asking you to save me."

Sam shook his head, Dean stepped towards them and slowly took the gun from Madison. Sam walked into another room. I followed, and then Dean.

Sam turned to us, tears fighting to fall. I know he was trying so hard.

"Sammy. I'm so sorry." I whispered holding back tears of my own.

"No, you're right. She's right."

"Sammy, I got this one. I'll do it." Dean offered.

"She asked me to."

"But. You don't have to." I said reaching out to him.

"Yes, I do. Please." He said reaching out for the gun, tears finally breaking loose and falling down his face. "Just wait here." He asked quietly. Dean nodded. I went to stand by Dean as Sam walked towards the kitchen. He stopped, and turned to face Dean and I. Losing his composure. He shook, and the tears streamed down his face. His quivering lip catching some of them. Everything in me broke for him. He finally looked away and walked back into the kitchen. I turned and buried my face in Dean's chest. His arms wrapped tightly around me… I felt us both flinch at the sound of the gunshot.

A tear fell against my shoulder. Dean's.

I know I bitched and whined about wanting people to feel as miserable as I did… but I never wanted this.


	39. Chapter 39

Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews and love! I absolutely love you guys, gonna put our own spin on this chapter with the djinn. I know its Dean that gets taken originally but I really would like to explore what Emily's alternate world would be, please don't be mad. Dean will play a large part in this. Thanks as always for the love and please review and let me know what you think! I'm always open to requests/suggestions!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

Let me tell you, its been a rough couple of weeks for the Winchesters. We bolted out of town after Madison, but not before ensuring her a proper hunter's funeral. Sam insisted, and neither Dean or I felt the need to disagree.

Sam and I were like a couple of wounded puppies. Me sulking over Luke, him mourning over Madison. Poor Dean has been a mother hen, always pushing for us to get up, do something, keeping us busy, we've been running job to job for days. All small easy ones, mostly vengeful spirits. Dean went out last night for the first time since all the chaos started and didn't come home till late this morning. So he's absolutely chipper. Sam and I slept in and went out to breakfast, trying to talk about anything but how shitty our love lives were, but the conversation always seems to come back to that. So we're in the same mood we have been for days.

The dreams finally started that night. Dreams of Luke being the monster… of me putting him down. Me putting Madison down. Sam putting Luke down… but last night's was the worst one yet.

Last night's intriguing rendition of the same dream over and over again was just me and Sam. I held a gun and raised it to his chest. Not blinking as I pulled the trigger and his body collapsed onto the floor. Every part of my heart and soul knows that Sam isn't a monster. No matter what yellow eyes did to him… he's just not. He's Sammy. He's a hero. My hero.

But something in the back of mind still remains leery. Not only of him… but of myself. Of what we could become. What we could turn into, what I could turn into.

"Em you ready?" Dean said walking by and getting my attention.

"Yeah. I'm good. Sammy you coming?" I said turning to him as he sat at his computer.

"No, I'm gonna stay and do some research. See if I can find another link between the vics."

"Okay. Well, call if you find anything. And be safe." I said walking over and hugging him tightly, lingering a little longer than normal.

"Emily are you okay?" He whispered to me.

"Yeah I'm fine." Just remembering how I put a bullet in your heart last night.

"Okay. I'll be here when you get back, promise." He said leaning down and kissing the top of my head. I reluctantly released him and walked to the doorway, joining Dean in the impala.

Dean and I drove towards the strip of road where all of the vics were last seen or known to be on. We drove up and down, carefully looking on each side of the road for anything suspicious.

"So what's with you attaching yourself to Sam's hip all day? I mean you've barely left his side." Dean asked out of nowhere.

"I think your exaggerating that a little. I'm here with you aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you hugged Sam like he was going off to war."

"Jealous?" I asked with eyebrows raised. He turned and shot me the bitchface.

"I'm serious… did something happen last night?"

"No Dean." I sighed. "Other than you getting laid nothing of interest happened."

"…Was it another dream?"

"De. Really. Just leave it alone."

"So what was it this time?"

I sat in silence, but Dean was not going to drop the issue. He continued to stare at me for several minutes, shooting me an insistent glare.

"…You know how they all end with someone killing the monster?"

"Yeah."

I had explained the dreams to Dean before, but not to Sam. He had enough to worry about. I didn't want to add more to his plate.

"Well this time Sam was the monster, and I pulled the trigger. Didn't even blink Dean."

"Ouch." Dean mused.

"Yeah. I just. Feel guilty I guess. I mean I know I can't control the dreams but subconsciously I placed him as a monster. If he knew that then he'd never live it down, I just. Want him to know that I don't think he's going to be a monster. That he's not a monster."

"He knows all that kiddo."

"I just want to be passed all this. I wish we could jump to the future a couple months down the road. Be back to normal. Be past all this crap."

"All in time kiddo. We'll get there." Dean said as he ruffled my hair. Just then my phone began to ring.

"Hey Sammy."

"Hey Em, find anything?"

"Yeah a whopping load of jackshit. There's no signs of anything strange out here."

"Well, then let me toss this out there. I think we're hunting a djinn."

"A freaking genie?" Dean asks leaning over to the phone.

"Yeah man, it all matches up, says here djinns like to hide in ruins, although in today's world I would think large empty buildings, like warehouses maybe, see anything like that around there?"

"Yeah actually we passed one a few miles back." Dean replied turning the car around.

"Alright well come get me before you check it out."

"We're already down here Sammy, we'll be fine. We're just gonna look around."

"Alright, call me back in thirty minutes or I'm sending the cavalry."

"Promise. Love you."

"Love you too Em, be safe."

I hung up the phone just as Dean pulled up beside a large old warehouse, half of the wall on one side was missing, steel beams dangling from varying heights.

"Definitely looks like modern day ruins to me." I said double checking my mag and pulling out a flashlight.

Dean led us into the building through a side door, I flanked him, gun raised and we carefully explored the building. When we ascended a set of stairs I heard footsteps. I stopped, grabbing the back of Dean's shirt.

"De. Listen."

He too froze and we sat carefully, waiting for the footsteps to be further from us before moving again. We continued up the stairs and my eyes fell upon a girl hung from the ceiling, her hands bound. I instantly moved towards her but felt something grab at me, when I turned to look at Dean, the djinn was standing behind him.

"Dean!" I yelled raising my gun and shooting, but the djinn was faster than I imagined. Before I knew it a hand was on my forehead and there was a bright blue light filling my vision. It was soft. Peaceful. It made me sleepy, and then there was just silence as I faded to sleep.

"Emily! Emily its time to get up!"

The woman's voice stirred me slightly. I rolled over and stretched, feeling my body relax against the soft warm bed.

WAIT A FUCKING SECOND!

I jumped up and looked around. The walls. They were a shade of light blue, there were photo frames and large sparkling décor hanging around the room. A large vanity mirror sat straight across from the bed. I looked at myself in it. Whoa…

I walked towards it and examined myself. I was tan, very tan. With auburn red hair, long and straight. My brown eyes were the same, just like my daddy's. I looked down and found myself in a school tshirt and shorts.

"What the hell?" I mumbled as I recognized the logo as Halltown high's.

"Emily!" The woman's voice grew louder, and I turned as the door opened.

"Mom." I breathed shocked.

"Sweetie you're gonna be late for school if you don't hurry up, I've been calling for you for twenty minutes now. Get dressed." She said before closing the door.

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god… what the hell is this?" I mumbled to myself examining the pictures around the room. Of me… and random people. Me in a cheerleading outfit. Me standing next to a blonde girl.. NO FUCKING WAY!

"Satan?! I selfied it up with Satan?!" I asked myself outloud.

"Noo.. no no no." I said panicking. But it wasn't like my normal panic. It was… normal. It was controlled. I was able to breathe and gather myself.

"Dean. Sam…" I instantly said to myself.

I ran to the closet to find several miniskirts, name brand jeans, and a slew of low cut tops. I grabbed the closest thing to a tshirt and some jeans before quickly getting ready, barely running a brush through my hair. I ran down the stairs, but bumped into something solid. Or someone.

"Whoa! Careful kiddo, you're gonna knock your old man down one of these days."

"Daddy?!" I said feeling tears sting my eyes. He looked at me concerned by my expression. Before he could get out another word I launched myself and wrapped around him like I did when I was little, he barely caught me and we stumbled a few steps.

"Daddy I missed you so much!" I said clinging to him. His smell… it lacked the whiskey but still felt as comforting as it ever was.

"Babygirl I was only gone for a few days. You know how my business trips can be."

"Right, yeah. A few days." I said slowly climbing down.

"You okay babygirl? You look a little sick." He said pressing his hand against my face.

"Yeah daddy I'm fine. I just. Had a weird dream." I sighed.

"Hunny, please remind your daughter she has 10 minutes before she needs to be out the door." Mom said as she came around the corner of the room and watched us from the bottom of the staircase.

"Yeah. Sorry Mom. Coming."

I followed her into the kitchen where she had laid out a plate full of food for me.

"Eat up. You've got practice after school, you'll need the energy boost." She said sliding me a glass of OJ.

"Oh, can I just get water, this stuff hurts my stomach." I asked.

"Since when?" She looked at me suspiciously.

"Um. I don't know, its fine." I smiled and took a long drink. Still trying to figure out what the hell was going on.

"Mom." It felt so strange to say the word out loud, and even stranger when the beautiful blonde woman before me turned to answer to it.

"Yeah hunny?"

"Where are Sam and Dean?"

She laughed and looked puzzled for a minute.

"Well… Dean is at home, with his wife. Sam is still at Stanford. He said he'd fly in when he finished his exams today."

"Oh." I breathed shocked. Dean with a wife?! Sam still at Stanford?

What in the hell is going on!

I picked at the food in front of me and turned to get up and leave. Grabbing the keychain with my name on it off the counter. Assuming it must be mine.

"Umm. Mom." I said walking up behind her. She turned and I wrapped my arms around her.

"I love you." I said softly.

"Oh, hunny I love you too…. Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah… I'm fine. Just. I want you to know how much I love you." I said fighting back a tear. She smiled, and her eyes glossed over for a minute.

"Oh what am I gonna do when you go off to college? All my babies grown." She said as her soft hand caressed my cheek. It felt warm, it felt comforting. I never wanted her to let go. For the first time in my life. I had a mom… I had MY mom.

I grabbed my keys and went out the door. I drove out of the neighborhood and briefly recognized the main road in town. It took me a few minutes to find my way to the school, but I finally did. It looked the same. I stepped out of the black civic I drove to the school and stood in shock as a large black truck pulled up next to me. My heart froze, waiting to see who climbed out of it.

"Luke." I said with a smile and a heart wrenching twist of pain.

"Hey baby." He said with a smile walking over and kissing my cheek. I don't know what overtook me but I suddenly grabbed his face and forced him to me, kissing him deeply, my tongue dancing with his. We were so into it, I began to lose my balance and we both slightly fell backwards against my car, but I didn't allow this to break our kiss. Instead I grabbed at him desperately. I NEEDED him. I've missed him. His body. His touch.

I began to pull off his jacket, but he pulled away from me.

"Whoa whoa, slow down baby. You're gonna get us busted again." He laughed looking around.

"Right.. I'm sorry. I don't know what overcame me… I just. I don't know." I said with a small smile.

"Come on babe, I'll walk you to class." He said reaching out and taking my hand. Oh how I've missed him.

I was walking with him through the parking lot when I heard Dean's voice.

"Emily." It sounded like it was a ways off. I turned suddenly. Luke pulled against me but stopped.

"Emily!" He yelled again. Yet I could barely here it.

Suddenly the pain in my head became excruciating.

"Ahh!" I cried as I doubled over and clutched the sides of my head in my hands.

"Emily! I'm here! Focus on me!" Dean's voice yelled. But I could barely here him, and he was no where to be seen.

The pain began to fade and it was Luke calling out my name.

"Em! Baby come on talk to me, what's wrong?" He said holding me up.

I took a few shaky breaths before looking at him.

"A… a migraine. I think? I'm fine. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? Do you wanna go home and sleep it off. I can take notes for you in history, and Tiffany can get your math assignments."

I rolled my eyes at the sound of her name rolling off his tongue.

"Yeah. Ya know, I think. I think I'm just gonna go sleep this one off." I said with a small smile. But really- I'm going to find Dean.

"Can you drive okay? Need a ride."

"No babe. I'll be okay." I said before kissing him and walking back to "my" car. When I got in I locked the doors and pulled out the small pink sparkly cell phone in my purse. Since when do I carry a purse.

I scrolled the contacts, Dean's was right under Daddy's. I hit the green button and waited.

It rang, and rang, and finally someone answered.

"Hello?" The voice grumbled.

"Dean! Where are you?"

"I'm at home weirdo. What the hell do you want?"

"Can you give me your address." I asked quietly. Taken back by his tone of voice.

"Well its not changed in the last 4 years."

"Yeah. I just.. umm forgot it. I don't know. Its been a long morning."

"Whatever." He said before hanging up. I sat there for a second. Feelings hurt just a little. Why is he being like this? I mean isn't this Dean. My Dean?

My phone buzzed, there was a text with the address in it from Dean. I instantly began to drive towards it. I felt relieved he at least sent it to me, even if he did have an attitude the whole time. I pulled up in front of a small house, it was cute. Quiet neighborhood. I instantly knew it was Dean's place because Baby was parked out front. I took comfort in the fact that some things never change. I got out of my car and walked up to Baby. It warmed my heart to see her. She was beautiful as always. Not a scratch or dent on her. I slid my fingers across the hood.

"Hey. You know the rules. Don't touch my car." Dean called as he came out the front door in black tshirt and jeans.

"Dean!" I said excitedly. I walked over and wrapped him in a hug. But instead of hugging me back he stood there stiffly. As if he was unsure of what to do.

"Um. What are you doing?" He asked me. I let go stiffly, sensing the awkward tension.

"Um. I don't know. Weird morning I guess… So um. How are you?"

"You seriously drove over here and woke me up knowing I have to work tonight to ask how I was?"

"Oh. I. I'm sorry Dean. I didn't know."

I could feel that same headache creeping back up on me, like a bullet bouncing around my skull. I bit my lip and held my head till it went away, then I looked back up at Dean.

"Emily what's wrong with you? You look like you're pale as a ghost."

"I. I don't know." I said backing away from him. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I'm just… gonna go." I said walking back to my car quickly.

"Emily? Wait!" Dean called, but didn't chase after me. I got in the car and drove off as he stood there and watched.

I came up to a stop sign and felt a pain at the back of my head, then it grew.

"Oww! Ah!" I cried as I leaned into the steering wheel.

"Emily! Babygirl come on I'm here! Its me!" Dean's distant voice called over to me.

"Dean…" I groaned. As the pain faded. There was honking behind me. I quickly hit the gas and the car lurched forward, almost taking out the man walking down the road.

"Shit!" I yelled. "I'm sorry." I sped off and drove until I found an empty parking lot. I stopped and grabbed my phone again. I scrolled further and further down. Sam.

I hit call and it rang twice before someone answered.

"Emily?" Sam answered with a cheerful voice.

"Sammy!" I said full of relief.

"Hey kiddo how ya been?"

"Um. I'm okay. I just… needed to hear your voice. Um… Mom said you would be here soon?"

"Yeah. I fly in tonight. Jess is coming with me."

"Jessica? Like. Your girlfriend?"

"Well… if you can keep a secret. She's not gonna be my girlfriend much longer. I'm planning on proposing tonight at Mom's birthday dinner."

"Wow! Sam. That's… that's so great."

"Thanks kiddo. I knew I could count on you to be happy for me."

"Yeah. Um. Hey… have you talked to Dean lately?"

"Come on Em. You know we don't talk much… I'm surprised you're still talking to him after Mom's birthday last year. I didn't think you'd said a word to him since."

Well… that would explain the awkward tension at Dean's.

"Um.. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I um. Barely remember that. Mind refreshing my memory?"

"Um, the part where he called you a slut in front of everyone?"

"Oh." Was all I could sadly respond…

"Hey. Don't worry bout it Em. I'll be home soon okay."

"Yeah. Yeahh.. I'll see you soon."

"Love you kiddo."

"Love you too Sammy."

I hung up the phone and leaned back against the seat of the car closing my eyes.

What is this world I've fallen into?

Sam is thousands of miles away from me, Dean can't stand me, I have my Mom, Dad, AND Luke. Its like my life has been turned upside down. Literally. Everything seems… great. Except me and my brothers. Although I guess Sam and I are still on good terms. I don't know what to do. I don't know what this is. I don't know what to expect… is this a second chance? A blessing… a trap.

Then it hit me… the djinn. They're genies. They grant wishes. He touched my head before I fell asleep… maybe he granted me a new life. A life with my family back. A life without hunting.

I drove back to the school knowing if I went home it would send up more red flags. I had to stop in the office and gather another copy of my schedule but I made it in time for math class. I sat in a seat at the back of the room. I laid my head on my desk and closed my eyes. Trying to soak this whole strange day in.

"Hey girl!" A chipper voice called out from beside me. I looked up. Satan.

"Oh, hey." I said trying to pretend to be "besties."

"Luke said you were sick this morning. Think you'll stick around for practice today?"

"Practice?" I asked confused.

"Um. Cheer practice? We have regionals in like 3 weeks?" She said with a "duh" tone.

"Oh. Right." I'm a fucking cheerleader? Since when? "I think I'm gonna pass on practice tonight. My brother is flying in and I'm dying to see him."

"Okay no problem, I'll cover for ya."

"Thanks girl." I smiled.

"No problem. Perks of being best friends with the team captain." She winked. Math class was boring as ever. And then finally the bell rang for lunch. I was walking down the somewhat familiar hallway when there were suddenly arms around me. I reached around for where I always keep a knife tucked into my waist band, but there wasn't one.

My panic quickly subsided when Luke's sweet voice whispered in my ear.

"Hey baby, feeling better?"

I turned to face him with a smile and a kiss. I could kiss him every day for the rest of my life. If I can settle this crap with Dean then maybe this life wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I could stay here… maybe this IS my life now.

"Much. So what are we doing for lunch?"

"Well, I was thinking we could skip and go down to that little Italian place you love so much."

"And its things like this that make me love you." I said with another hasty kiss. We sprinted to the parking lot, sneaking out and having a make out session before actually going in for lunch. The food was AMAZING.

I finished the rest of my day uneventfully.

"Are you still bringing me to dinner tonight?" Luke asked as we walked back out to the parking lot after the final bell at school.

"Um, yeah. I am. IF you're willing to still go."

"Of course. I'll meet you there at 7?"

"Sounds good baby. Love you."

"Love you too." He said with a kiss and a wink. Damn I missed him.

I drove home with new resolution. This life. I can make it work. I can fix me and Dean, and things will be perfect. But for now… I just want to see my parents.

I spent the whole ride home deciding who to see first. The mother I never got to know, or the father I tragically lost and missed so deeply. Well… I am after all a daddy's girl.

"Hey Dad." I said pulling up in the drive way and seeing him in the garage working on his car. It was an old corvette, black in color. Hey. What can I say… Chevy's run in the family I guess.

"Hey babygirl. How was school?"

"Fine."

"Didn't you have practice today?"

"Yeah I did but tiff let me skip for dinner tonight, plus. I just. Wanted to come home and see you and mom."

"Wow. I bet not many teenagers come home and say that." He said with a suspicious grin.

"Well. I'm not most teenagers." I said with a grin of my own. He laughed. I sat on top of the shelf that lined the garage wall and leaned back.

"Daddy."

"Yeah?"

"Can you tell me some of your favorite memories of us growing up?"

"What?" He looked at me puzzled.

"I wanna know some of your favorite memories from us growing up. Here. At home."

"Umm. What's gotten into you today?"

"Nothing. I just. I'm in a reminiscing kind of mood with it being Mom's birthday and all."

"Um, okay… well. Obviously when you were each born. I'm pretty fond of those. Um. Okay. Well there's this one... where you were two." He turned to face me and set down the tools in his hand so he could tell the story more expressively. "Your Mom had taken the boys out to the store or something and I offered to watch you at home, we fell asleep on the couch watching a movie. When I woke up. Your mother was standing over me, not happy by the way. I suddenly realized you were no longer sleeping in my lap. I jumped up and asked her where you went. She laughed, well, sorta. She pointed at the kitchen with this expression… like she just couldn't believe I'd let this happen. And there you were. In the kitchen floor with 3 bags of flour torn open. Covering EVERYTHING in the kitchen, including yourself. I swear that stuff never came off for days. Your mother grilled me for an hour about not watching you, but it was still so funny that I didn't mind." He laughed at the end.

I smiled at him, he told me a few more and I wish I could have sat there all night and listened to him. Stories of me and the boys. Of my kindergarten play, of me and Mom. An hour or so after the stories began I decided I'd like to spend some time with the Mother I never knew. The mother who made all those "memories" with me.

"Hey Birthday lady!" I said walking into the kitchen.

"Well hey yourself." She said as she was mixing ingredients together in a large bowl.

"Want some help with that?" I offered, she looked surprised but then she nodded and slid me a bowl and a stack of things to start mixing into it.

"So what are you making?" I asked out of curiosity.

"Well, your father is insisting that he take me OUT for dinner tonight, but you know Sammy loves shepard's pie so I'm gonna pop one in the oven before we leave, that way he can have some when we get home."

My mother. The SWEETEST woman. I was touched. On HER birthday she is more concerned about making her children happy.

"Hey mom… I love you."

"I love you too sweetie."

I finished helping her cook the meal and then we stowed it in the oven with a lid to keep it fresh for Sam. Who texted me about 5 minutes ago saying his plane landed and they'd be here in an hour. Mom and I went to get ready for dinner tonight. I dug through the closet and pulled out a little black dress, a little short if I do say so myself, but the least revealing up top, I slid on a pair of wedge heels and some dangly earrings to match.

There were knocks at the door, then I heard Sam's voice calling out. I dashed out of the room and down the steps, leaping off the next to last one into my brother's arms.

"Sammy!" I cheered. He held me tightly and spun us around in a circle. He finally released me and landed a fat sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"Ew, stop it!" I joked before pushing him. He laughed. I turned to see the beautiful blonde next to him.

"Jessica!" I said excitedly and hugged her, she also hugged me back fondly. I was glad to know I had a good relationship with him and Jessica. He deserved to have her. To be happy.

"Its so good to see you, you're getting tall." Sam said pulling my attention back to him. "Well.. tall-er." He said with a chuckle and a ruffle of my hair.

"Yeah yeah yeah.." I mumbled.

There was another knock at the door and I realized it was almost 7, Luke.

I opened it and smiled, pecking him on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday Mrs. Winchester." He said stepping through the door and handing her a single red rose. Oh the charm…

"Well thank you Luke! This was so nice of you!" Mom said with a genuine smile, she leaned in and hugged him.

I looked at Sam who had narrowed eyes at Luke. Luke leaned up and shook Daddy's hand, then he turned to face Sam.

"I assume you must be Sam, I'm Luke. Nice to meet you." He said extending a hand towards him. Sam paused momentarily and then shook it.

"I am, Nice to meet you. Hey, I got some bags in the car, wanna help me grab them." Sam said. Luke nodded and they walked out the door.

"Umm.. should I be worried?" I asked looking between my Mom and Jessica.

"He's been prepping this don't hurt my sister or I'll kill you speech since we got on the plane. Trust me. Its not near as intimidating as he thinks it is." Jessica laughed. I smiled and laughed as well.

"So when will Dean be here?" I asked Mom.

"Oh he and Carmen will meet us at the restaurant hunny."

"Oh, okay." I said slightly disappointed.

We all left for the restaurant not long after the boys came back in, I winked at Luke and watch Sam walk a little taller than he had when he walked outside. He must be proud of himself. I love that kid.

The restaurant was fancy, they sat us at a large table in the center. I sat with Luke on my right and two empty seats on my left. Sam offered over and over again to sit by us so Dean didn't have to but I insisted. I've got to fix this thing with Dean so I can be happy with the new life of mine.

Dean and Carmen arrived about 15 minutes after we did and Dean hesitantly took the seat beside me. I looked at him and smiled. He looked at me oddly and turned away to tell Mom happy birthday, she hugged him and carmen both and carmen sent a smile and wave my way, at least she seems to like me.

"Hey." I whispered to Dean.

"What?" He turned and asked, not exactly rudely, but not super friendly either.

"I'm sorry… for everything. Can we just put all this shit behind us? I miss you."

He stared at me for a long moment.

"We'll talk after dinner." He said before looking back to Mom and the rest of the table.

Dinner was delicious. They had just brought everyone a round of dessert and Mom was thanking everyone for coming. I looked up to Sam who looked nervous. He was fixing to go. He caught me looking and I gave him a confident nod. He got the table's attention.

"Um, I'm just glad we could be here with everyone. I've got a question." He got down on one knee and turned to Jessica.

"Will you marry me?" Jessica gasped at the ring and everyone at the table was shocked, the restaurant clapped as Jessica nodded and Sam placed the ring on her finger. They kissed and Mom was in tears of joy.

"What a birthday surprise! I'm so proud of you! I love you both!" Mom said standing to hug them. Jessica looked at me and smiled. I fought to hold back the tears. I looked up to Dean, who was also smiling. Him and carmen joined hands, as did Luke and I. Everyone was feeling the love.

After dinner I caught Dean as we were walking out the door.

"Hey."

"Hey… Look. I know last year was kind of a mess. I had a lot going on, and you just kept pushing and pushing. I mean You know how it is. My job is stressful. The last thing I needed was to walk in on you and the boy toy over there screwing around in MY house."

Ohhhh….

"I'm sorry Dean. That was… wrong of me. On so many levels."

"Yeah. You're right it was. And your lucky I didn't bust your ass or rat you out to Dad. But I didn't. Then you have the nerve to bring up my ex at dinner?"

"Dean. I'm so sorry… I really am. For everything. I just. Want to be past this. I want to see you more. I want us to be okay."

"We are okay… I just. Dammit Em. Don't pull shit like that again. I'm serious."

"I won't. I promise…"

"Okay."

"I love you." I told him with a tear threatening to fall.

"I love you too… don't be a cry baby. C'mere." He smiled a genuine smile for the first time all day.

I let him wrap me in the same strong arms I've been in my entire life. Now. Now things are right. This life can work. I can do this… Dean and me are good, Sam is happy, I have Luke. We all get Mom and Dad back.

I was walking back to the car with Dean when excruciating pain rolled through my head."

"Ahh! Dean!" I said reaching out and grabbing his arm.

"Emily! Please hear me! I'm here! Wake up! Wake up!" A distant voice that belonged to Dean called, but it mixed with the voice of Dean who was holding me up at the moment, continually asking me what was wrong.

"Em its not real! Wake up!" Dean's voice called out to me again.

It faded, and so did the pain. I stood and blinked the black spots out of my vision. Dean had an arm around me and Sam had rushed over to us at some point.

"Emily what's wrong?" Sam asked leaning down in front of me.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. Its just a headache."

"No. Its not… how long has that been happening?" Dean asked.

"Just today. I promise. I'm fine."

"Come on, you and Luke can ride with us. I think Carmen and Jess rode back together, Mom and Dad left too." Sam offered. I nodded and walked over to find Luke standing by the impala. He looked at me concerned and walked towards us.

"Hey, what happened?"

"She got some sort of headache." Sam explained.

"Another one?" Luke asked.

"Wait… how many have you had today?" Dean asked before getting in the car.

"Just a couple."

"Don't lie… Cause I know of at least 3. One at my house, one with Luke, and now that one. Did you hit your head recently or something?"

"Dean. I'm fine. I promise." I tried to reassure them, but all three of them stared at me concerned.

"One more and I'm taking you to the hospital to get checked out." Sam warned.

Thankfully the car ride was uneventful with no more headaches. We got home and I walked Luke over to his truck to say goodnight.

"Well I guess I'll see you in the morning." He said as he pulled me into his arms. I laid against his chest and felt the steady rise and fall.

"Yeah. I'll see you then." I said with a smile. I leaned up and kissed him slowly. His hands wandered down my back. Mine locked themselves into his hair and twisted, eliciting a small groan from his warm mouth.

"Mmm… Sure you can't sneak out tonight?" He asked with a lustrous gaze.

"I'm sure, maybe tomorrow." I said with a wink and a final kiss goodnight.

I walked back up the steps, when I walked in Sam was standing at the windows with his arms crossed. He shot me a glare.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Just because he's a nice kid doesn't mean I like him… he's too handsy."

"And you're too nosy." I shot back playfully.

"And you're my baby sister. Seriously. If he knocks you up, I'll kill him."

"Sammy… I love you."

"Love you too… come on."

We walked into the living room where Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch watching the news. Some sort of memorial was going on in another town. Seemed like a big deal.

"So sad… all those people." Mom mused.

I watched as the words "United Britannia Flight 424" flashed across the screen.

"Wait… we stopped that crash." I pondered outloud.

"What?" Sam asked form beside me. Dean and Carmen gave me and odd glance.

"Um. Nothing. Sorry… I'm gonna head upstairs and get to bed."

"Are you sure hunny its not even 9?"

"Yeah yeah, I'm just tired is all. Happy birthday Mom, love you." I said walking over and kissing her on the cheek before ascending the stairs. Once I was alone in my room I grabbed the laptop off the desk. The plane did indeed crash and kill every single person on board. Then I went back even further. The wendigo kid was never found. His siblings went to look for him and died, they blamed it on a bear.

The town with the shtriga had 37 child deaths in one year.

All of them. All of the cases we've worked. The people we've saved… they're all dead. Pete is dead. How I noticed that I hadn't seen him all day was beyond me, but now that I think about it I hadn't seen him once today.

Everything in me felt torn. I was given a chance at a new life, but in order for that to happen all of those people died. They suffered loss, they faced horrors they never even knew existed. All because I wanted my life to change.

Pain consumed me again, and I dropped to the floor on my knees.

"Emily wake up… wake up. I'm here babygirl I'm here. Its not real wake up!" Dean's voice called out to me.

"No.. no. Dean.." I mumbled waiting for it to stop again. When it did I stood and made my way to the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. But instead I bumped into Dean.

"Whoa, sorry Em,… wait, what's wrong?" He asked taking in my shaken appearance.

"Nothing… nothing I'm fine." I said trying to move past him.

"Hey wait stop. No you're not. Did it happen again?"

"No Dean please.." I said trying again to dodge him but he grabbed my arm.

"No, that's it… Sam's right. You mighta smacked your head or something, you need to get that looked at. Now."

"Dean! Please! I'm okay… just. Let me think about all this for a minute."

"All what? What are you talking about…"

"I… I don't know."

"At least let Carmen look at you, I'd like to at least get a nurse's opinion."

"Dean. I'm fine. Really. I just need to sleep it off. Okay?"

"I don't know kiddo… you're scaring me."

"Please. If I have them tomorrow I'll let you drag me to the hospital but for now please I just want to sleep."

"Fine. But you have to promise me you'll call me if you have one tomorrow."

"I promise."

"Get some sleep kiddo."

"Night Dean."

He finally went downstairs and I went to the bathroom to wash my face. I waited till Dean left and I heard everyone head to bed for the night before getting dressed again and making my move to go downstairs and find something silver.

I know what I have to do… part of me wants to say individual goodbyes to… Daddy… Luke. But I know that will only make this that much harder. So instead I quietly made my to the kitchen and dug for a silver knife.

I found one and went to grab my keys off of the rack by the door.

"Hey."

I jumped and turned.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked me.

"Um… I just. Uh.."

"Emily. What are you doing?"

"Sam. Look. I need you to trust me. Please." I said walking up to him and grabbing his hands in mine. "I know this looks bad, but I'm begging you to trust me."

"Where are you going?"

"I can't tell you…"

"Well then I can't let you leave."

"Sam. Please!"

"No… I'm not gonna let you take off in the middle of the night by yourself."

"Fine. Then come with me." I challenged.

"Fine." He challenged back. I groaned… I don't have time for this. But I walked out and he followed. We got in the car and I started to drive towards where I knew the djinn was.

"Emily will you please tell me where we're going."

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Because you'll think I'm crazy."

"Well you not telling me anything isn't helping that theory. I mean seriously what is up with you today?"

"Sam… this isn't right. None of this. This isn't our lives. I'm sorry… its just not." I finally said sadly.

"Okay. No. Turn around. NOW."

"Sam please…"

"No! I'm taking you to the ER, I don't know when you whacked your head but you're not okay. I'm serious turn this damn car around!"

"No!"

"Emily stop this car! I'm switching you and we're driving to the hospital!"

"FINE!" I finally yelled. I moved to open the door and waited for Sam to be fully out of the car before shutting my door and slamming on the gas, leaving him standing in the road behind me.

"Sorry Sammy…" I said as I cranked the radio and continued down the road.

Not even a half hour later my phone began to ring… First it was Mom, then Sam, then Mom again… then it was Daddy.

"Hello…" I finally answered.

"Emily Anne Winchester I don't know what's gotten into you but you turn that car around right now and come home!"

"I'm sorry Daddy… I can't." I said feeling the lump in my throat grow.

"Emily baby please! Turn around and come home. Let us help you."

"Daddy, I love you… I love you and Mom so much. I'm so sorry, but I have to do this… all those people will die if I don't. Please, forgive me… but I can't let them all die because of me."

"Emily what are you talking about?"

"Can you put Mom on for a minute please?"

"Emily hunny where are you?" Mom asked, worry filling her voice.

"Mom…" I said barely able to get the word past my lips. "I just want you to know that you are the most amazing mother I could have ever asked for. I love you. I'm sorry."

I hung up the phone and continued down the road. An hour later it rang again. Dean this time… I went to answer it but the pain hit me like a hammer at the back of my head and instead I dropped the phone and leaned down onto the wheel, bringing the car to a stop unsteadily.

"Come on babygirl, wake up…" Dean's voice called out to me. THAT is MY Dean. I realize now that he's still there. Trapped with the djinn in the warehouse. I came out of my fog and punched the gas. The car lept forward.

It took 3 hours to drive to the warehouse, when I did I slowly made my way inside, looking for him. For Dean… for anything.

I walked up the same steps as I did the first time. I reached the top and froze.

"Emily." Dean said calmly. Sam, Mom, Dad, and Luke all stood behind him. My heart twisted and I knew now for certain that none of this had been real. None of it really existed. My Daddy isn't back… My mother never was here. Luke is still… gone.

"Emily put the knife down." Dean cooed. "Its okay kiddo… you're okay."

"Dean this isn't right… its not real."

"But it feels that way doesn't it? Emily you can stay here."

"If I do what happens to me… will I die?"

"Yes. You will. But not for a very long time, or at least it will feel that way in here. With us. Look at Mom and Dad… and Sam, everyone's happy. You have Luke. What more could you ask for? It will feel like a happy full life. It will be peaceful, painless. I promise."

I looked at them all slowly, one at time. My mother, my Daddy… his warm smile again. His scruffy beard. I missed him so much. I couldn't stop the tear from spilling over and falling down my face, before it could reach my chin a hand wiped it away. I looked back to Dean.

"This could work kiddo, we can do this…"

"Yeah. It could." I whispered. "But you'd never forgive me if I stayed."

I lifted the knife and thrust it through my chest. There was no pain, there was no fuss, there was no noise at all. Just blackness.

"Come on babygirl, wake up… please wake up." Dean's voice interrupted the silence that filled my head. I felt weak, I felt strange… my eyelids were so heavy I couldn't lift them.

"Dee.." I barely groaned.

"I'm here Em, I'm here. Open those eyes. Come on… come back to me." He pleaded.

It took me several seconds, I began to feel the arms that were holding me. It was cold. There was pain all throughout my body. Finally my eyes began to open, there was a light above me, causing me to blink several times.

"Emily…" Dean breathed with relief.

"Dean." I said hesitantly. Wondering if it was really him. I looked up and Sam was crouched above us, looking down at me with worry in his eyes. "Sammy…" I whispered.

"Em."

"… Mom and Dad?" I asked slowly, not breaking eye contact with Dean. His face faltered for a second and he shook his head.

The tears were instant. I felt the lump in my throat and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't control them. Dean pulled me against him and stood, carrying me out to the impala as I sobbed.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry." I cried over and over again. "I had to do it."

"Shhh… its okay." Dean whispered to me as he set me down in the backseat. Dean walked to the drivers seat and Sam sat in the back beside me, laying my head down on his knee so he can look at my neck.

"I guess he used the tube to drain the bodies, no telling what was on that thing. We'll have to disinfect this when we get her back."

"What about the other girl?" I asked suddenly remembering there was someone else hanging in the warehouse.

"She uh, she didn't make it kiddo."

I stared at the back of the seat in front of me. When we got to the motel Sam helped me out of the car and I walked straight in to the bathroom. I turned on the hot water and showered , taking my time to scrub each part of my body clean.

I walked out to find both the boys at the table eating take out Chinese food. I walked over and sat between them, grabbing a container of fried rice and a fork.

"So, are you gonna tell us what happened?" Dean asked after a minute of silence.

"… What happened after I was knocked out?"

"Well after he knocked you out we wrestled for a minute and he did the same to me, Luckily Sammy here kept his word about sending the cavalry. He showed up probably a half hour after he'd knocked us out. You were already being drained, he hung me up but hadn't put in the tube yet."

"Did he do it to you too?" I asked Dean hesitantly. Sam looked between us confused.

"Yeah. He did kiddo… not for very long. But yes."

"Were they in yours too?" I asked around the growing lump in my throat.

"Yeah. Mom was. Mine didn't last all that long though, I woke up pretty much right after it all started. You were down for a lot longer, we spent twenty minutes just trying to wake you back up.

"So everything I saw… it was all only in what? An hour time span maybe?" I asked. Dean nodded.

I looked down at the food in my hand and swallowed down the growing lump.

"What are yall talking about?" Sam asked.

"When the djinn knocked us out… he uh, put us in some kind of dream. It felt real. It was everything that we never got to have in this life." Dean explained. Sam looked between us and paused on me. I glanced up at him. Remembering how happy he was when he proposed to Jessica. How happy we all were, how happy I could have been… but none of it was real.

"Jessica was there, Sam." I swallowed again. "You were at Stanford, and happy, and you proposed to her on Mom's birthday." I said with a smile. He shot a small one back before turning away from me.

"None of it was real… not Mom. Not Dad." I said barely above a whisper. Remembering how beautiful she was. How it felt to hug her, her voice, her laugh, her smile. All figments of my imagination I guess.

"Em. Tell us what happened." Sam said.

"In mine… everyone was happy. Dean and I were at odds, but I fixed it. I had everything I've ever wanted. I had a mom who raised and loved me, Daddy was alive, you were both in love and happy, Dean had a wife and a normal job. Luke was there…" I stopped for a moment setting down the food and running my hand through my damp hair. "But all those people we saved. They were all dead. Every case we worked went unsolved and so many people died. The kids in that town, the people on the plane, the little girl form the inn, every single one of them. Dead. So I decided to give it all up… to save them." Tears began to sting my eyes again. "I was gonna make him turn things back to normal, I was gonna give it all up. But when I got to the warehouse I realized it was all a dream. That none of it was real. All of a sudden everyone was there, in the warehouse, begging me to stay." I looked up to Dean. "You looked me in the eye and promised it'd be painless. That it would feel like I'd lived a whole lifetime… but I knew. I knew if I stayed. The real you… you'd never forgive me for giving up."

"Em, the kind of strength it takes to walk away from that… most people couldn't do it. Hell. I don't know if I could have done it." Sam said putting an arm around me.

"He's right kiddo… I know it hurt like hell to do it. But I have never been more proud of you." Dean said earnestly.

We ate the rest of our dinner and readied for bed, I crawled in next to Dean and wrapped the sheet around me before laying my head against his arm.

"She was pretty huh?" I whispered to him.

"Who? Mom?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah Em… she was."

"She was so nice, she loved us all so much."

"Emily she does love us, even now."

"Yeah… I know. It just… it was so different. She got to see us all grow up. She got to raise us."

"Yeah. I know kiddo… so Dad was in yours?"

"Yeah, was he not in yours?"

"No. Died of a heart attack a few years before."

"He was happy De… he didn't drink, or hunt, or mope around, yell at us. He was genuinely happy. He loved Mom… he worked on cars as a hobby. Traveled for business." Dean laughed staring off, imagining it all.

"When I hugged him. It felt so real."

"I know Em… mine too."

"De. We need a good day."

"Yeah we do." He said with snort.

"We should take tomorrow off… just have fun for once. We need it. No hunting."

"Oh.. well. Okay then. What shall we do on this day off?" He asked with a grin. I sat for a second and smiled widely.

"Well, first off. When we wake up you can make me chocolate chip pancakes. Cause, that's just the best way to start off a day… and then. We can go to that county fair we passed a couple towns back! You can buy me lots of tickets so I can play all the rip off games, and you and Sammy can kick ass at them and win me prizes, and ride the ferris wheel, and eat the greasy deliciously insanely unhealthy fried variety of desserts, and then we can… what are you laughing at?!"

"You!"

"What did I do?"

"Nothing kiddo… you're just so damn easy to please." He said with a grin. I rolled my eyes at him and continued on with my perfect day off plans. Dean and I laughed until we dozed off, wondering what tomorrow will bring.


	40. Chapter 40

Author's Note: MERRY CHRISTMAS! This will be the last chapter till after the weekend is over. Mostly because I work on Christmas and the two days following. Love you guys so much! Thank you for the reviews! They are such a motivator to get things out to you guys faster! SHIT is fixing to HIT THE FAN! Love you all, please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily.

"Wake up wake up wake up!" I yelled jumping up and down on the bed like I was a kid again. Dean barely moved, he grumbled and hit me with a pillow, throwing me off balance, I began to fall and leaned forward so that I'd land on Dean and not the ground. I landed with my knees into his gut.

"Ughh! Dammit!" He groaned, suddenly awake now. Oops.

"Sorry De." I giggled. I jumped up and ran to Sam's bed and pulled the same routine. Although Sam was kinder. He woke up almost instantly and started to laugh at me, then he grabbed my legs.

"Sammy! No!" I laughed as he pulled me down on top of him and moved to lay on top of me so that I was trapped.

"You think its funny to jump on people?" He teased. I giggled.

"Sammy.. Can't. Breathe!" I laughed. He eventually moved off of me and stand, before he could walk away I jumped on his back and wrapped my legs around his skinny waist. He laughed and used his arms to reposition me so he could walk forward, leading us into the kitchen to make coffee.

"Okay Em… what do you want." He finally said as he set the coffee pot down to be filled.

"WE are going to the FAIR!" I said with excitement as I hopped down and went to sit on top of Dean like a bean bag. He groaned as I wiggled.

"What time is it?" Dean finally asked.

"About 8 or so."

"Ughhh… Em we didn't even go to bed til 3."

"Hey, you're then one who always said a full hunter's sleep was only a few hours a night." I pointed out wiggling my hips again so that they dug into his ribs.

"ughhh.." He groaned again and pushed me off. He finally stood and went to the bathroom to shower. I smiled at Sam who rolled his eyes playfully.

I demanded Dean make me pancakes… he insisted he just take me out to breakfast to get pancakes seeing as how he would have to run out to the store to get stuff anyways. We argued it for a few minutes before I gave in on the condition that he would buy me fried Oreo's at the fair.

"Mmmmmm… its like an orgasm in my mouth." I said as I savored a large bite of chocolate chip pancakes lathered in syrup and butter.

"…If you don't stop moaning like that I'm seriously gonna lose my appetite." Dean warned. I rolled my eyes at him and continued to devour them in silence.

"So the fair is your big idea for a Winchester's day out?" Sam asked eyeing me.

"Yep. The fair, maybe a movie, delicious freaking food. Annnnd. If we're lucky there might be some bull riding while we're there."

"Yeah cause watching grown men tie themselves to an angry animal is totally my idea of a good time." Dean mocked while he ate his food.

"Hey! No bad attitudes today! We're having a damn good day." I said pointing my fork at him.

"Fine. I can't wait." He smiled back sweetly. I winked at him.

The ride to the fair was short, and spent with us belting out to the radio, well. More me and Dean then Sam, but we got him to join in on a few of them.

When we pulled up all I could see were lights, the ferris wheel, the swings being hoisted into the air. The smell of fresh grease… slightly gross, but whatever. I'm down with it. We parked and I literally skipped towards the fair. Dean and Sam laughing at me most of the way.

"Okay. What do we wanna do first?"

I gasped as my eyes read the sign in front of me. "DE! It's a petting zoo! WITH ZEBRAS AND BABY LIONS!" My excitement was quite literally through the roof. I fucking love lions!

"Okay, well come on then." He waved with his hand and I could have squealed. Dean handed the man a twenty and we were getting our pictures made while holding baby lions. OH MY GOODNESS they were SO freaking cute and fluffy. The sounds they made were precious. I honestly wanted to take one home.

"De…" I leaned over and whispered. He looked up at me. "How much effort would it take to knock that guy out and sneak this thing into the impala?"

"Ha. I don't think so sweetheart, I don't allow dogs in the car, what makes you think I'm allowing big cats? I mean have you seen the claws on this thing?!" He said with wide eyes holding up one's paw. I gave him the best puppy dog eyes I could muster.

"Not gonna happen Em, come on. Zebra's are calling your name, and NO. They also are not allowed in the impala." He said as he stood and helped me off the ground. Sam was waiting for us by the gate, he had our picture in his hand.

"Sammy… you're officially my favorite brother now." I told him with my arms crossed, showing Dean my distaste for his rules about Baby.

"Do I even want to know what that's supposed to mean?" Sam asked putting an arm around me and leading us over the zebras. Sam payed the man a few dollars and we began to feed them carrots from little baggies they had premade.

"These things are a lot smellier than I imagined they'd be." I mused, Sam laughed but shook his head to agree.

"Hey Em."

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. For this… you're right. We need it."

"Yeah. We do."

He kissed my cheek and I finished feeding the zebras before walking with the boys to a ticket booth, Dean had hustled some money the other night when he went out to the bar and surprised me when he forked over a 50 and handed me the roll of tickets. I grinned at him.

"So boys… bumper cars or fun house?"

"Both?" Sam asked.

"I'm gonna run you morons down." I said sweetly walking over to the bumper cars and selecting the hot pink one. I laughed watching the boys and their long legs try and fit in the cars, especially Sam. I'm pretty sure he's not even actually sitting in the seat. The bell rang and I gunned straight for the side of Dean's car.

"Ha!" I yelled as I slammed into him and he was jolted to the left. He gave me an evil grin and not even a moment later someone slammed into my backside. I turned to look and saw Sam laughing maniacally, I turned to the side and ran from them as they both chased me, slamming me against the wall, I was able to turn and pin Sam, but Dean was right on my ass. The bell rang again and the cars died. I slipped out and stood with ease, but laughed as I watched Dean and Sam struggle, Sam had to basically crawl out of it sideways. I could have pissed myself I laughed so hard.

"Yeah yeah yeah… laugh it up shorty." He joked pushing me towards the exit.

"Oh. Trust me. I am." I breathed feeling my sides hurt from laughing so hard. Dean walked us over to the fun house and we made our way through the majority of it fairly easy. The ending how ever was a rolling tunnel, you had to walk through it to get out.

"Umm.. I don't know if we can do this." I paused and said.

"Oh please, the trick to these things its just not stopping." Dean said as he effortlessly walked through it. Sam shrugged and followed. They both turned and looked at me expectantly. I sighed and took a step forward, then another, but I wasn't fast enough and the twisting tunnel was quickly overtaking my balance, my arms flailed in the air and I tried repeatedly to catch myself before finally landing on my ass. The boys burst into laughter and finally extended a hand to pull me out of the spinning tunnel.

"You guys are assholes." I mumbled dusting my ass off. "Come on, you can make up for it by winning me a prize." I grinned. I grabbed Sam's hand and drug them over to a row of carnie games. Sam offered to do the one with the basketball, even though they're all rigged and rip offs, Sam put down some cash and played until he won me a stuffed animal. He leaned over to the man running the stand and pointed up in the air. The man climbed a ladder and came down with a stuffed Zebra.

"Here ya go Em, now you can take one with you." Sam said with a smile. I grinned back and hugged him tightly.

"I love you Sammy."

"Oh please… that's nothing." Dean huffed, he walked over to the shooting game. Sam and I giggled at Deans competitive nature and we watched as Dean missed every shot on the first round. But he wasn't bothered. He was just using that round to figure out how off the aim on the gun was- because again. All of these are rigged. So he handed the man more money and nailed every shot on the second go round. When he finished he stood tall and winked at me. Then he pointed up at a lion with a big fuzzy mane. He looked at me and I nodded with a large grin. Dean walked over and handed me the lion.

"Thanks De. I love you too." I said placing a smooch on his cheek.

The next game we went to was one of those water races, we played 4 times. I kicked the boys ass each and every time. With my winnings I selected a zippo lighter and a pocket knife, handing one of them to either brother.

"Thanks.." Dean said slightly bitter over the fact that he'd lost to his baby sister multiple times. Sam just bit his lip fighting back a laugh and graciously accepted the pocket knife.

"De, lets go do some rides before we eat." I said with bright eyes.

"Fine. But nothing that spins or goes upside down."

"Dean… that's almost EVERY ride."

"Well then I guess you better ask your favorite brother." He teased.

"Fine… Sammy come on." I said pulling Sam and handing my prizes to Dean to hold. First Sam and I got on the ferris wheel.

"Its so pretty up here." I said when we reached the top.

"Yeah, you can see everything for miles. Perks of being in a flat state right?" He pondered.

"Yep. Hey Sam."

"Yeah kiddo?"

"We're gonna be okay."

"Yeah we are Em." He said with a smile.

We enjoyed the rest of our ride and on to the next… and the next… and the next. Sam was a good sport and rode several of the rides. Dean watched from below, laughing at us when I would scream.

"Okay Em, I'm starving… can we please hit the smorgasbord now?"

"YES!" I said excitedly. "Okay are we splitting up?"

"Yeah. Em, you get the desserts. Fried only. Sammy, you're on turkey legs. I'm going to grab the footlong cornodgs and other meats on a stick. Sound good?"

"I'm down!" I said sprinting off to a stand with a variety of friend candies and desserts. I damn near got one of everything… it was expensive.

I walked back to the designated picnic table we agreed to meet back at and laid out our goodies, Sam was next with two jumbo turkey legs, and then came Dean. Corndogs, gator on a stick, and fried rattlesnake bites. Yeah. That's a thing.

We laid all of the food out on the table, there was barely room left to set our drinks.

"…This may be the first time I've ever said this. But I think our eyes are bigger than our stomachs." I mumbled outloud looking at the buffet in front of us.

"Nonsense. We're Winchesters. This is the way to live life!" Dean said with bright eyes as he looked over the table himself. Sam laughed and looked hesitant.

"Dig in." I finally said reaching for a corndog. Then fried oreos. Then a fried reeses, then I tried gator on a stick and rattle snake. Not as bad as you'd imagine. The turkey leg was AMAZING. I shared mine with Sam and Dean ate his on his own. By the time we were done the table was damn near cleared… we all sat in misery. I leaned my head down on my arms.

"Ohhh…. This was such a bad idea."

"Yeah. A little too much fun Em." Sam agreed sitting back against me.

"…Anyone gonna finish that funnel cake?" Dean asked. Sam and I looked up and stared at him in shock.

"De you ate double of what me and Sam did. How do you have room?"

"Hey. Look… Rodeo starts in 30 minutes."

"Yeah okay, then we gotta get outta here before I eat anything else." Dean said standing with us. We walked over to the outdoor arena and took our seats at the top of the stands, leaning against the wall. Dean bought him and Sam a beer and me a root beer to sip on. The arena began to fill with people and the bulls were brought into their small pens to be held in until time was ready.

"Check that one out. Those horns are massive!"

"Yeah, and some idiot is fixing to attach himself to that." Dean mocked.

I watched as several men began to fill the arena. Cowboys… mmmm.

One walked past the stands and looked up to me, he tipped his hat and smiled. I smiled back and blushed, biting my lip slightly.

"Mm. I wish he'd attach himself to my body." I accidentally mumbled out loud. Both of the boys turned to look at me with wide eyes.

"Okay, if you're gonna make goo goo eyes all damn day then we're leaving RIGHT now." Dean threatened.

"Okay.. Okay I'm sorry. I'll stop." I said with my hands raised in surrender.

We watched as man after man attempted to ride the bulls for at least 8 seconds, and then escape the arena without injury. It was exciting… sad to say most exciting when something goes wrong and people get hurt. But hey… its bullriding. Its not a matter of if you get hurt, it when.

In the middle of the show they took a break and called several small children into the arena for what they called "mutton busting," let me tell you. There is nothing more adorable than watching children ride on sheep.

"Oh my gosh De! Look at how cute he is in his cowboy boots!" I squealed watching a little blonde haired boy mount the sheep and hold on for dear life. The sheep was halfway across the arena when the boy finally slipped off landing face first in the dirt. I worried he would stand up and cry, but instead he stood and lifted two thumbs in the air. I laughed out loud and so did the boys.

"Sammy lets take him home." I squealed. Sam laughed at me and I leaned against him.

We finished the rest of the rodeo and slowly made our way to the impala, prizes in hand. The sun was beginning to set and all of the lights shined even brighter than they did in the sun when we first arrived. I sighed contently as I slid in the front seat to sit between the boys. We grabbed a pizza on the way home for dinner, not that Sam or I were even close to being hungry. But Dean will be Dean after all. Then we grabbed a movie and bundled down for the night.

"We had a good day boys." I said sitting between them on the bed as the movie finished. Dean smiled and Sam nodded.

"Yeah we did kiddo." Dean said "C'mon. Time for bed." He said standing and reaching out a hand to lift me up. I stretched and went to the bathroom to shower and change. Sam went in after me and finally Dean. Sam was laying in his bed snoring, and Dean turned out the lights and locked the door before jumping on the bed. I giggled at his childlike behavior.

"Hey Em?"

"Hm?"

"Have I told you lately how proud I am of you?"

I smiled. "Yeah De, you have."

"Well I'm gonna say it again… I know how hard it was to take yourself out of that dream. I know how badly you wanted it… yet you put the lives of others ahead of your happiness. Em, that takes strength I'm not even sure I have. I love you and I'm so proud of you."

"You woulda done it too… you do it all the time Dean. You don't give yourself enough credit. You save the world everyday, and yet you're so hard on yourself. Why?"

"I don't know Em. Sometimes it just feels like I'm not doing enough. For you and Sammy. That I'm dropping the ball."

"Dean. You've never once in your life dropped the ball when it comes to me and Sam."

"Emily you and I both know that's not true." He said to me with pain in his eyes.

"Dean. That wasn't your fault. She was going to take me one way or another. God forbid you hadn't left me there… she would've taken you too."

"Or I could have stopped her."

"Dean stop… I don't wanna go there. Please. I don't blame you, and I know Daddy did. But I never did. Please tell me you know that."

He looked away from me.

"Dean I'm serious! I never have and never will blame you for what happened. It wasn't your fault."

"Emily. Even if you never see it. I will always blame myself, I'm your big brother. I'm supposed to protect you. I didn't. I left you there."

I sighed… he was just never gonna let himself live this down.

"I love you De. I wish you would stop blaming yourself. Cause no one else does. Even Dad knew better when he calmed down. Night De." I kissed his cheek and turned over. He drifted to sleep and subconsciously wrapped an arm around me.

(Dean's POV)

The light coming through the window was bright. It was right in my eyes and I turned to move it from my face. I groaned and stretched. Reaching over to see if Em was still asleep. The bed was empty next to me.

"Em?" I asked sitting up. Sam's bed was empty as well.

"Sammy? Em?"

No reply… the car is here, they keys are here. Sam's phone… Em's phone.

"Sam! Emily!" I stood and began to dig through their bags… nothings missing. Everything is here… except for my siblings.

I panicked and spun, looking around the room for any sign… then I saw it. Sulfur. By the door and the windows.

"Oh God… No… not again."

(Emily's POV)

"Deee… you took all the covers." I groaned as I shivered awake. It was cold, and hard, and where the hell is my pillow. I opened my eyes and immediately closed them again.

"It's a dream… just a dream…" I whispered to myself. But when I opened my eyes again I sat up and gasped. Oh no. Where am I?!

"Dean! Sam!" I stood up and screamed. I looked around, it was like one of those old western towns. All the roads were dirt and the buildings made of wood. I couldn't see anyone. I was alone.

"Dean! Sammy!" I yelled again. No answer. I felt the panic in me begin to rise. I felt for a weapon, but I didn't have any on me. I had no phone. I was in a tshirt and shorts from last night, no shoes. What the hell is happening!

My breath came shorter and faster. I spun in circles looking for someone, something, anything. I can't be here alone! I don't know where here even is!

Oh no… no no no no no.

I crumpled to the ground and wrapped myself into a ball. Rocking back and forth trying to remember how to breathe.

It felt like this went on for several minutes.

"Emily!"

My head flew up and I stopped breathing all together.

"Emily!"

"Sammy! Sam!" I stood up and ran to where I heard the sound. It wasn't long before I caught sight of Sam coming around the corner of the building.

"Em!" He said running over to me. "Emily are you okay?!"

"Sa-a-a-a" I tried taking shallow short breaths.

"Shhh.. its okay kiddo. Its okay. I'm here. You're okay. We're okay." He said as he wrapped me against him.

"I-I-I can-ca-ca-can't."

"I know kiddo, I know… close your eyes and focus on me. I'm here. Just close your eyes and breathe in through your nose."

I did as Sam said and clamped my eyes shut. Focusing only on him. On his scent. The feeling of his arms around me. The solid ground beneath me. Sam's voice whispering in my ear. Slowly but surely… it was working. For the first time. Sam was able to calm me down.

"See. We're okay Em… we're okay." He said once he realized my breathing had begun to slow down.

"Sammy where are we?" I asked not ready to release him yet.

"I don't know kiddo. Are you cold?"

"I'm fine." I said, but Sam felt me shiver against him and pulled off his jacket, leaving him in the long sleeve underneath. He slipped it over me and I wrapped it around me, crossing my arms. Sam pushed a bit of hair behind my ear and examined me closely.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm okay… where's Dean?"

"I don't think he's here Em."

"Well where do you think he is?! Do you think he's okay?"

"Yeah. I think… I think he's still at the motel. Em. I think something took us."

"Well then why are you dressed and I'm not?" I said looking him up and down.

"I was having a hard time sleeping last night, I woke up, got dressed. I was just gonna go for a walk. But when I opened the door. Someone knocked me out. Then I woke up on the ground… here."

"Sam what are we doing here?" I asked looking around.

"I don't know kiddo. But I don't think someone's giving us a free vacation."

"Well, we need to see what or who else is here. C'mon." I said taking Sam's hand and walking forward. We wandered around quietly, looking for signs, clues, anything that tells us something. We heard a noise on the other side of the building we were in front of. Sam pulled me against the wall behind him and motioned for me to be quiet. He bent down and lifted a wooden plank, preparing to use it as a weapon. I was readying myself mentally for a fight.

Sam and I stood ready and waiting, footsteps were growing closer. A man turned the corner and jumped back at the sight of Sam.

"Andy?!" Sam asked shocked, I leaned up to see a terrified and shocked Andy.

"Sam?! Emily?! What are yall doing here?" Andy replied, Sam dropped the plank.

"I don't know." Sam answered.

"What am I doing here?! "

"We don't know." I answered.

"Where are we?!" Andy said panicked. Oh no… no more panic. I can't handle it.

"Andy, look, calm down." Sam said with hands raised.

"I can't calm down! I just woke up in freaking Frontierland!" Andy said raising his hands and dragging them down his face.

"What's the last thing you remember?" I asked him.

"Honestly? My fourth bong load. It was weird. All of a sudden, there was this really intense smell. Like, uh…"

"Like sulfur?" Sam guessed. Andy looked surprised.

"How did you know that?"

"Dean." I said out loud… wondering if was still even alive if demons took us. Dean wouldn't let us go without a fight.

"Your, your brother – is he here?"

"I don't know where he is. I don't know if he's…" Sam stopped when he saw the panic on my face. "He's fine I'm sure… he's okay." Sam said to me. Suddenly there was a woman screaming in the distance.

We took off running towards it, we came to a small locked shed. The woman banged on the door.

"Hello?" Sam called.

"Help me! Help me, please!" The woman cried.

"Okay, I'm here. We're gonna get you out, all right? Just hold on a second."

"Please!"

"All right, one second."

Sam reaches up with a large piece of metal and pries the lock off, the door swings open and the woman went wide eyed at the sight of Sam.

"Ava?" Sam asked shocked.

"Oh my God! Sam!" The girl sobbed and threw herself at my brother.

"Wait… Ava?" I asked. Sam looked at me and nodded.

"So, I guess you guys know each other." Andy mused.

"Yeah. Sorta." I said.

"How did you—I mean, how did you—" Ava tried to form a sentence.

"Ava, have you been here this whole time?" Sam asked her.

"What whole time? I just woke up in there, like, a half an hour ago."

"Well, you've been gone for five months. My brothers and I have been looking for you everywhere." I answered.

"Okay, that's impossible, because I saw you two days ago." She said turning back to Sam.

"You didn't. I'm sorry."

"But… that makes no sense. That's not—oh my God! My fiancée, Brady! If I've been missing for that long, he must be freaking out!"

"Well…" I said with a grimace.

"Oh!" Ava cried with her hands covering her mouth. She looks around and pauses on Andy.

"Hey. Andy. Also freaking out." Andy introduced himself with a small wave.

"Okay. What's happening?" Ava asked turning to Sam.

"I, uh, uh, I don't really know yet. But I know one thing: I know what the four of us have in common." Sam looked between all of us.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" A man's voice called out over the silence.

"Maybe more than three." I said before we all moved towards the voice.

"Hello? Hey! Hey, you guys all right?" Sam asked as we approached a young dark skinned man in a military uniform and a very freaked out blonde woman.

"I think so." The man replied.

"I'm Sam. This is my sister Emily." I slightly waved.

"I'm Jake."

"Lily." The blonde added quietly.

"Are there any more of you?" Sam asked.

"Naw."

"How did we even get here? A minute ago, I was in San Diego." The blonde asked scared and slightly angry.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I went to sleep last night in Afghanistan." Jake retorted.

"Let me take a wild guess: you two are both twenty-three? We all are. And we all have abilities." Sam answered.

"Well… almost all of us." I said out loud reminding him I don't quite fit the same bill.

"What?" Jake asked skeptically.

"It started a little over a year ago? You found you could do things? Things you didn't think were possible?" They both nodded. "I have visions. I see things before they happen."

"Yeah. Me, too." Ava said.

"Yeah, and I can put thoughts into people's heads. Like, make them do stuff. But don't worry, it, I don't think it works on you guys. Oh, but get this –- I've been practicing. Training my brain, like meditation. So now, it's not just thoughts I can beam out, but images, too. Like, anything I want. Bam! People, they see it. This one guy I know – total dick, right? I used it on him: gay porn. All hours of the day." Andy laughed. "It was just like … you should have seen the look on his face." I grinned at him slightly but everyone else seemed extremely unamused.

"Uh…okay." Andy finally said stepping back. I patted him on the shoulder. Poor Andy.

"So, you go, "Simon says give me your wallet", and they do?" Lily said angrily to Andy. "You have visions? That's great! I'd kill for something like that."

"Lily, listen, it's okay—" Sam tried.

"No. It's not. I touch people? Their hearts stop. I can barely leave my house. My life's not exactly improved. So, screw you. I just wanna go home."

"And what, we don't?" I asked with an attitude.

"You know what, don't talk to me like that, what are you twelve?! What's your ability?"

"Hey, guys, please. Look, whether we like it or not, we're all here, and so we all have to deal with this." Sam said breaking up to soon to be fight.

"No she's right… what's her ability?" Jake added.

Sam looked at me and then back to Jake defensively.

"I don't have one." I finally answered.

"Then why are you here?"

"I don't know… somehow I'm tied in to all this."

"Or maybe you're part of the problem. The odd man out." Lily spat.

"How bout you shut the fuck up!"

"Emily! Stop!" Sam demanded pushing me back from her and Jake. I went and stood by Andy who put his arm around me. I leaned into him. At least I have Sam and Andy… if only I knew Dean was okay.

"Who brought us here?" Andy asked getting us back on the subject.

"It's less of a who. It's ... more of a what." Sam answered slowly.

"What does that mean?"

"It's a ..."

"It's a demon." I finished for Sam. Lily huffed out a breath of disgust and I shot her the best bitch face I could manage.

"Keep that shit up and I'm gonna let it kill your ass."

"How bout you come up here and let me hold your hand." She taunted.

"HEY!" Sam screamed. "That's enough! Both of you!"

Sam went into detail to explain the information we've recently discovered, the things we've been hunting. About the demon and his plans for all the children he visited.

"So, we're soldiers in a demon war to bring on the Apocalypse?" Jake asked.

"When you put it like that—" I started.

"And, and we've been picked?"

"Yes."

"Why us?

"I'm not sure, okay? But look, I just know-" Sam started again but was interrupted.

"Sam, I'm sorry. Psychics and spoon-bending is one thing, but demons?" Ava said.

"Look, I know it sounds crazy, but—"

"It doesn't just sound it."

"Could yall stop fucking interrupting us for five seconds so we can tell you what the hell is going on?!" I demanded. Everyone was silent.

"Look. I don't really care what you think, okay? If we're all gathered here together, then that means it's starting and that we've gotta—" Sam tried but was interrupted AGAIN.

"The only thing I've gotta do is stay away from wackjobs, okay? I've heard enough. I'm better off on my own. FYI, so are you." Jake argued before walking off.

"Jake, hold on. Jake!" Sam tried… but Jake ignored him.

"Sam. Let him go. He wants to get his ass killed, let him." I said. But Sam shook his head at me.

"Stay here with them. No fighting!" He said pointing at me. "Emily's in charge until I get back. Don't move, watch your backs. Run if she tells you to." He told everyone else before chasing after Jake.

"Well… How's life been Emily?" Andy asked me to ease the tension.

I turned and smiled briefly at him. He's the only one here I even like. Lily is a bitch and… I don't know. Something with Ava is… off.

"Boring without you Andy." I said giving him a smile.

"Aww, come on now." Andy teased waving his hand at me.

"Seriously though. I've missed you Andy."

"How do you all know each other?" Lily asked.

"Um, Emily and her brothers came to save my life." Andy explained.

"And then Andy saved mine." I added with another smile at Andy. I can't lie. I'm a little fond of him. He's got one of the kindest most genuine hearts I've ever seen. He's pure good. There isn't a bad bone in his body.

"Sam found me when my visions started. He helped me." Ava added.

"Well… isn't that nice." Lily added. I huffed and resisted the urge to reply. Instead I leaned against the wall and tilted my head on Andy's shoulder.

Sam and Jake made their way back to us minutes later. Jake looked spooked. When Ava asked him what happened he explained being attacked.

"Now, that thing – I'm not sure, but I think it was an Acheri. A demon that disguises itself as a little girl. That still doesn't tell us where we are. Andy, are you with me or what?" Sam explained, looking at Andy's blank stare.

"Give me a minute. I'm still working through, "Demons are real"."

Poor Andy. I linked arms with him and followed closely behind Sam as we all walked forward.

"I've seen that bell before. I think I know where we are now: Cold Oak, South Dakota. A town so haunted, every single resident fled." Sam said as we stood in front of a large monument in the front of the town.

"I remember Dad talking about this place." I added looking around.

"Swell. Good to know we're somewhere so historical." Ava added sarcastically. She's slightly getting on my nerves.

"Why in the world would that demon or whatever put us here?" Lily asked.

"I'm wondering the same thing." Sam said.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. Clearly, the only sane thing to do here is get the hell out of Dodge." Lily said before walking off.

"Wait, hold on. Lily, the only way out is through miles of woods."

"Beats hanging out with demons."

"Lily, look, we don't know what's going on yet. I mean, we don't even know how many of them are out there right now."

"Yeah, he's right. We should—" Jake tried.

"Don't say "we"! I'm not part of "we". I have nothing in common with any of you." Lily screamed.

"Let her leave." I said quietly. Sam shot me a warning look and turned back to Lily.

"Okay, look, I know—" Sam tried.

"You don't know anything!... I accidentally touched my girlfriend." Lily said with a tear falling.

"I'm sorry."

"Whatever. I feel like I'm in a nightmare, and it just keeps getting worse and worse."

"I've lost people, too. We have a brother out there right now that could be dead, for all we know. We're all in bad shape. But I'm telling you, the best way out of this is to stick together."

My eyes shot to Sam… how could he say that. Andy noticed my posture change and wrapped an arm around me comfortingly. My eyes never left Sam's face though.

"Fine." Lily said crossing her arms. The group began to walk forward, but I stood there. Sam started to walk away but noticed I wasn't moving and turned back towards me.

"Em I'm sorry."

"…You said he was fine." I whispered biting back more tears and panic.

"Emily… I'm sure he is. But truth is I don't know. All I know is I'm here. You're here. And I'll be damned if I let anything happen to you. God forbid Dean is alive he'd roast my ass. Now please… come with me." He said reaching out his hand.

"Sam… I'm scared." I said starting to cry. Sam moved forward.

"I know Em… I am too. But we gotta keep it together right now okay? I promise. I will get us back. I will. We'll find Dean and we'll be okay."

"Okay…" I whispered taking his hand and walking back with him to the group.

"We're looking for iron, silver, salt –- any kind of weapon." Sam announce.

"Salt is a weapon?" Jake asked.

"It's a brave new world." I answered.

"Well, hopefully there's food in your world, because I'm frickin' starving." Andy added.

Sam and I went into a house with Ava, Andy and Jake split the other way. Lily not far behind them.

We dug through drawers, boxes, hiding spaces in the floors, finally Sam found a knife. He handed it to me with a nod, telling me to hide it so no one else knows I have it. We continued searching till he found one for himself. We turned and Ava was holding her head, massaging her temples.

"Hey, you all right?" Sam asked her.

"Yeah, I'm just…I don't know, a little dizzy."

"Are you sure it's not some kind of—"

"What? Some kind of freaky vision thing? No, more like I'd kill for a sandwich. I haven't eaten since…well, who knows? No, don't worry. I'm fine. Except for every single thing that's happening."

"You guys! I found something!" Andy's voice called over to us from another building. We walked out and joined Andy in the building beside us. He held up two bags.

"Salt! "

"That's great, Andy. Now, we all can…where's Lily?" I asked realizing she wasn't with them.

"Lily?" Ava called.

"Lily!" Sam called out looking around.

There was a sudden loud sound of a little girl giggling close by, we all ran outside, there hanging from the top of the water tower was Lily. Dead.

"Oh, my God! Okay, that's officially—Sam, she's dead! She's dead! You said we were chosen for a reason. That is not chosen! That's killed! Okay, we have to get out of here." Ava cried and fell against Sam… okay. Now she's really on my nerves.

"Stop." Sam told her, grabbing her arm and pulling her back as she tried to leave.

"Yeah, I second that emotion."

"Andy I'm not sure that's an option." I told him calmly.

"What?" Ava asked.

"Lily was trying to leave. The demon's not gonna let us get away that easy. We've gotta gear up for the next attack." Sam explained.

"Oh, gear up?" Ava asked incredulously.

"Yeah." I answered annoyed again.

"Okay, well, I'm not a soldier. I can't do that!"

"Well, if you wanna stay alive, you're gonna have to." I replied.

"Let's go." Sam said leading us back inside.

"I'll get her down." Jake offered.

Sam and I walked with Andy and stood by the doorway of the building.

"Sammy… we could really use De right now. He'd know what to do next."

"I know it Em. I would saw my arm off for a phone right about now."

"You know, you may not need one. I've never tried it long-distance before, but do you have anything of Dean's on you? Like, something he touched?" Andy asked. I got excited and Sam and I began digging through pockets. I pulled something out of Sam's shirt pocket.

"Uh…I've got a receipt. Would that work?" I said pulling it out and handing it to Andy.

"Yeah… D. Hasselhoff?" Andy questioned.

"Yeah, that's Dean's signature- It's hard to explain." Sam said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"All right." Andy said and walked forward, closing his eyes and focusing.

Andy did his best but couldn't guarantee that it worked. For now we're just crossing our fingers. Sam split us up, everyone went on another weapons search. Andy and I began to salt the doors and windows to the main building that we were all gonna bunker down in. Sam and Jake went out to gather iron, hoping to arm everyone. We could use all the help we could get honestly. Everyone gathered back in and began to bunker down for the night. I cuddled up against Sam who was leaned against the bar.

"Sammy." I whispered. He looked down at me. "I think one of us should always stay awake, watch each other's back."

"Okay, you wanna sleep first?"

"No. You go ahead. I slept last night. You didn't. I'm just gonna stay here and keep an eye open."

"You sure Em?"

"Yeah. Get some sleep Sammy."

An hour later Sam was wincing and turning his head side to side… nightmares no doubt. Poor kid. I looked around. Andy was asleep next to me. Jake was keeping watch by the door. But I suddenly noticed there was no Ava in the room.

"Jake." I said quietly. He turned to look at me. "Where's Ava?"

"I don't know… Ava!" He called out. No reply. Shit…

"Dammit. I'll wake up Sam." I turned to shake him gently. "Sammy… Sam. Sam wake up!"

He jolted upright.

"Hey. Ava's missing."

"What?! How."

"I don't know… she must have snuck out. Sam. I think something's off with her."

"Well she's freaked out, if that's what you mean."

"No. I mean… she's hiding something. Her story doesn't match up. You seriously believe she's been asleep for 5 months?"

"I don't know Em. Lets just go find her."

"Hey. Wait… did you have a nightmare?"

"Sorta. Yellow Eyes came to me… He. Em… he showed me things."

"Sammy what is it."

"I'll tell you later… but. Its big."

We all split and began looking for Ava. I stayed with Sam and went to search houses. Jake went to check the hotel, and Andy stayed in the main building incase she came back. Sam and I were walking around, no sign of Ava anywhere. When suddenly we heard her scream.

"Sam! That's back at the main building. Andy was in there!"

"Yeah I know come on!"

Sam and I took off running, Sam burst through the door first. He froze at the sight in front of him. I stepped around him to see for myself.

"Oh God… Sam…" I cried. He pulled me against him and hid my face. Andy was torn wide open, his blood spattered around the windows and the walls.

"Sam its Andy… he. He didn't deserve this."

"I know Em… I know."

Ava stood on the other side of the room. Crying as well. Staring at Andy's body.

"Sam! I just found him like this!"

"What happened?" I turned and demanded. I know Ava has something to do with this.

"I don't know!" She cried.

"How'd that thing get in? Where were you?" I questioned. My anger growing. Andy didn't deserve to go out like that… we should have protected him. He should have been safe in here.

"I just went to get some water from the well. I was only gone maybe, like, two minutes!"

"You shouldn't have gone outside. Ava, we have to stay in here—" Sam told her. While he spoke I looked to the window and noticed the broken salt line.

"Who did that?" I asked cutting Sam off.

"I don't know, maybe Andy—"

"Andy wouldn't do that. Ava, that line wasn't broken when I left. Ava." I said walking forward towards her. Sam staying close behind.

"What? You don't think that I— Sam… tell her it wasn't me! You know me!"

"I'll tell you what I think: five months. You're the only one with all that time you can't account for. And that headache you got? Right when the demon got Lily." Sam said, pulling me to stand behind him. Taking control of the situation.

"What are you trying to say?" Ava asked.

"What happened to you?"

"Nothing!"

Sam and I stared at her. She finally let out a humorless laugh and wiped away her crocodile tears.

"Had you going though, didn't I? Yeah. I've been here a long time. And not alone, either. People just keep showing up. Children, like us. Batches of three or four at a time."

"You sick bitch." I muttered. "You killed them? All of them?"

"I'm the undefeated heavyweight champ." She said with a smile.

"Oh, my God." Sam said shocked by her confident attitude.

"Don't think God has much to do with this, Sam."

"How could you do that… to all those people. To Andy?!" I said feeling my anger grow again.

"I had no choice. It's me or them. After a while, it was easy. It was even kind of fun. I just stopped fighting it. And… well. You're off limits. But big brother here isn't."

"What do you mean off limits?" Sam asked.

"It's the rules… Emily can't be touched. Not until you're dead Sam."

"Why?" I asked stepping forward. Sam tried to pull me back but I pulled against him.

"Because its not a fair fight until you've got abilities of your own. And that doesn't happen till Sammy here bites the dust. So I'll have to kill him first, but once I do… you're all mine bitch."

"I don't think so." I said reaching back behind me for a knife. Ava holds her head and black smoke starts to seep into the window, but before it could get inside. Jake stepped in behind Ava and snapped her neck. Killing her instantly. The smoke at the window dissipated immediately.

"Sam I bet we can make a run for it now." I said turning back to him. He looked at me and smiled.

"Yeah I bet you're right. Lets go." He said waving to Jake.

"But the Acheri demon…" Jake asked stopping us.

"No, no, no. Ava was summoning it, controlling it. It shouldn't come back now that she's dead. We gotta go."

"Not "we", Sam. Only one of us is getting out of here. I, I'm sorry." Jake said looking between us.

"What?" I asked shocked by the turn of events.

"I had a vision. That Yellow-Eyed Demon or whatever it was, he talked to me. He told me how it was."

"No, Jake, listen. You can't listen to him." Sam pleaded.

"S-Sam, he's not letting us go. Only one. Now, if we don't play along, he'll kill us all. Now, I-I like you, man. I do. Emily too. But do the math here. What good's it do for all of us to die? Now, I can get out of here. I get close to the demon, I can kill the bastard." Jake tried to convince us.

"You come with us, we can kill him together."

"How do I know you two won't turn on me?"

"We won't. Jake. We'd have no reason to do so."

"I don't know that."

"Okay, look." Sam said pulling his knife out and placing it on the ground. He squeezed my hand. Signaling me to keep mine hidden.

"Just come with us, Jake. Don't do this. Don't play into what it wants."

After a long pause. Jake placed his weapon on the ground as well. Sam smiled relieved. But I wasn't yet convinced.

"Okay." Sam said relieved taking a step towards Jake. Out of no where Jake reared back and punched Sam with super strength. Sam went flying across the field and crashed through a fence.

"Sam!" I screamed. I lunged at Jake but he knocked me back several feet with little effort and I slammed against the well in the center of town.

I turned over and laid, scrambling to catch my breath and get on my knees. Sam was winded, laying on his back. Jake approached him and picked him up, punching him repeatedly. The sound of bone's crunching echoed in the town.

"Sam!" I screamed again. "Leave him alone!"

I scrambled to my feet and ran towards them, knife in hand ready. Jake was distracted and didn't see me. I jumped on his back and jabbed the knife into his ribs. Jake stood and screamed, ripping me off of him and slamming me into the ground. The breath was knocked out of me. Sam tackled Jake to the ground. He climbed on top and raised the knife, preparing to kill Jake. But instead he lowers his hand and throws the knife. Just as he stood there was a voice in the distance.

"Sam! Emily!"

I froze.

"Dean!" I yelled. I stood to my feet and Sam smiled. I took off running towards Dean.

"Em!" He and Bobby began to job towards us as it started to rain. But I watched Dean's face go from relief to panic.

"Sam! Look out!" He yelled. I stopped and turned to see Jake come up behind Sam with a knife in hand.

"No! Saaam!" I screamed turning and running back towards them. Sam fell to his knees, his eyes going wide. Jake took off running. I ran after Jake, knowing Dean would get Sam. Bobby followed me. I ran as fast as my short legs allowed and pumped my body to push its limits, but as I began to enter the woods that Jake fled through my entire body was set on fire. I fell to the ground and writhed in the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life. It was like a lightning strike and someone setting fire to gasoline running through my veins all at one time. I tried to scream but no sound came out. My vision began to black as Bobby came into view above me. The feeling faded as quickly as it hit me.

"Emily! Emily talk to me!" Bobby said crouching above me.

"Bobby… Sam. Sammy." I breathed fearing the worst. I stood and ran back to him and Dean.

Dean was screaming Sam's name, holding his limp body as he kneeled against the ground. No.. no no no!

"Sam!" I cried leaning down against him and Dean. "No Sam! Please wake up! Sam!" I shook his body but it was limp and just fell against Dean's.

"Noo.. No Sam. Sam!" Dean screamed. I collapsed against him as my body gave way to a completely different kind of pain.

"Saaaam!"


	41. Chapter 41

Author's Note: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Hope you guys are ready for a great year! Here's a chapter to start it off right. Love you guys! Thanks so much to my faithful reviewers! I love having your input! Here's the big season finale! I hope I've done it justice! Next season is gonna get crazy fast! Em's big secret will be revealed EXTREMELY soon.

He's so cold… its cold in South Dakota. Every time my hand grazes across his forehead, I intertwine our hands, touch his arm. He's just cold. He doesn't open his eyes. His chest doesn't move in a steady rhythm. Sam's body is just… cold.

The floor of this run down cabin is even colder. I've sat on it for hours. Not moving. Refusing to leave his side, refusing to walk away. I can't. Even if I wanted to.

There's a small chair in the room next to the old mattress he's laid on. Dean stays in it most of the day. Sometimes he'll stand at the doorway… sometimes he'll come and sit next to me in the floor. But he never leaves either… for 3 days. We haven't left this room. Haven't left his side. How could we?

I keep replaying it in my head. The look on his face when Jake ripped the knife alone his spine. Dean's face filled with terror. The way my heart shattered when I fell to my knees next to him and Dean.

Bobby practically had to pull us out of the mud, make us leave that horrible place. Dean insisted on carrying Sam to the car himself. I didn't miss the way he cried from the time he stood up to when he laid his body on this old bed.

For hours, Dean held me as I cried, and then gathered myself… only to fall apart again. We haven't really spoken to each other. We've just suffered together in silence. Bobby has tried to talk to us each individually, and then together… but its always a short conversation. He's out at the moment getting more food. Trying to push us to eat, we haven't done that in 3 days either.

Drinking on the other hand… Dean's done a lot of that. It's the only way he can sleep… but even then. Its only for an hour or so. I doze in and out myself… but I never truly rest. I can't. I always wake up, and realize that this isn't the nightmare. That my brother. He's really and truly gone.

"Dean, Em." Bobby called as he walked into the cabin. Dean was standing in the doorway. Staring at Sam as I sat next to his body, running my fingers idly through his shaggy hair. "Brought you guys back some food."

"No thanks I'm fine." Dean answered as if it was an automated response. I looked up to him, and then past him to Bobby and just shook my head, turning back to Sam.

"You two really need to eat something."

"I said I'm fine." Dean replied as he took another swig of whatever bottle he could find in the trunk.

"Dean… can I talk to you for a minute?" Bobby asked, Dean turned out of the doorway and walked to stand on the other side of the table Bobby was standing next to. Although I'm sure he was being as quiet as he could… I still heard every word.

"Dean... I hate to bring this up, I really do. But don't you think maybe it's time... we bury Sam?"

"No." Dean answered with no hesitation. The thought made me want to vomit. I can't… I can't bury my brother.

"We could… maybe..."

"What? Torch his corpse?" I asked not looking up at them, but I still knew they heard me.

"Not yet Bobby." Dean answered.

"I want you and Emily to come with me."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"Neither am I." I added.

"Dean, please."

"Would you cut us some slack?" Dean asked, sounding more upset by the second.

"I just don't think you two should be alone, that's all. I gotta admit, I could use your help."

"Our help?" I scoffed. I stood and slowly walked towards them.

"Something big is going down darling– end-of-the world big."

"Well, then let it end!" Dean yelled loudly. Causing me to flinch.

"You don't mean that." Bobby whispered.

"You don't think so? Huh? You don't think I've given enough?" Dean said getting in Bobbys face. "You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. And if you know what's good for you, you'd turn around, and get the hell out of here."

"Dean…" I said sadly, tears building as I stared at Bobby's broken hearted face. He shook his head no, unable to answer.

"Go!" Dean yelled as he shoved him.

"Dean! Stop it!" I cried. Bobby stood in front of him, unmoving. His face holding Dean's gaze.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please, just go." Dean said softly before turning away from him and walking back to sit next to Sam. Kissing my forehead and whispering "sorry" in my ear as he walked by.

I looked back up to Bobby, I knew what he wanted.

"Bobby… I can't. You know I can't leave. I won't."

"I know darlin. I know." He said sadly as his eyes watered. He turned and left. I stood there until I heard his car pulling onto the gravel road.

I began to walk back towards my brothers but I stopped in the doorway when I heard Dean talking to Sam… I just… couldn't bear to interrupt him.

"You know, when we were little— you just started asking questions. How come we didn't have a mom anymore? Why do we always have to move around? Where'd Dad go when he'd take off for days at a time? I remember I begged you, "Quit asking, Sammy. Man, you don't want to know." I just wanted you to be a kid, you and Em both... Just for a little while longer. I always tried to protect you... Keep you safe... Dad didn't even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It's like I had one job... I had one job... And I screwed it up." Dean's voice broke and he paused, pain struck through my chest.

"I blew it. And for that, I'm sorry." He stopped again to wipe the tears falling down his face. I had to fight back tears of my own. "I guess that's what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let Emily down. And now I guess I'm just supposed to let you down, too."

"How can I? How am I supposed to live with that?"

I quietly let myself slide down the wall and used my hand to stifle my sobs as I heard Dean begin to cry.

"What am I supposed to do? Sammy. God… What am I supposed to do?" He sniffled.

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!" He stood and yelled. Kicking the chair across the room. He suddenly stormed out and grabbed his keys off the table.

"Dean! Wait… where are you going?!" I asked as I jumped up and followed him.

"Dean! Please answer me!" I begged running after him. "Dean!"

"I'm going to get him back Em… I'm gonna get him back." He said without stopping.

"Dean wait… I don't know what you're gonna do but I know there's nothing you can do at this moment that doesn't come with even bigger consequences… just stop! Talk to me! Please!"

Dean ignored me and moved to get in the car, I jumped and stood between him and the door, tears streaming down my face.

"Move." He said without meeting my eyes.

"No! Dean please, tell me what you're doing, let us just get a plan together!"

"MOVE!" He yelled as he pushed me aside and I stumbled to the ground. He didn't stop. He climbed in and started the car.

"Dean! Dean stop! Dean!" I slammed on the window and tried to stop him, but he slammed on the gas and peeled out, leaving me standing in the dust.

"Deeean!" I screamed. But he was already gone.

I fell into the dirt and released another round of sobs, out of frustration I screamed and slammed my fist against the ground.

It rumbled.

Then a tree to the side of the cabin fell over and toppled onto the fence. I stopped breathing and my body began to tremble… oh my god… was that me?

I took in a sharp breath and for the first time in 3 days it hit me… Sam dies. My abilities start. That must have been what I felt while I was chasing Jake.

"Oh god…" I whispered. I panicked and ran back into the house. Sitting on the ground next to Sam.

"Sammy! Please… I'm scared!" I cried. "I-I don't know what to do! I need you!"

His body held no response. I wrapped my hands around his cold arm and laid my head against him.

"Sammy… I need you." I sobbed into his sleeve, for seconds. Minutes. An hour? I'm not sure how long it was before it all stopped again.

I was truly alone. Sam was gone… Dean's God knows where…

I'm so lost. I don't know how to live without Sam. I thought losing my Daddy would kill me… but losing my brother was worse. It was like living while everything inside you writhes in pain all day, slowly dying without ever giving you the relief of actually dying.

The bed shifted… wait. I didn't move.

It did it again and I jumped, scrambling away, reaching for my knife. I stared in awe as I watched my brother's body begin to move, and then. His eyes shot open and he sat up and stared back at me.

"Em?! What's wrong?" He asked. I couldn't answer. I was frozen. Frozen and terrified. What the hell just happened… is this my brother?

"Emily! What's going on?" He asked again. I tried to speak, but nothing came out, I couldn't move. I just sat there against the wall, shaking like a leaf with my knife held out in front of me defensively. Sam stiffly began to move and winced as he stood, he stumbled forward and I shrunk back into the corner as far as I could. He towered over me.

"Emily sweetheart its just me… talk to me here, what the hells going on?" He whispered as he crouched down in front of me.

"S-S…Sammy?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah babygirl, its me." He answered confused.

"Sammy…" I sighed as I dropped the knife and threw myself into his arms, knocking him and I both backwards. I clutched him to me, arms wrapped around every inch of him that I could reach. Savoring the motion of his breathing, the feel of his heartbeat against my ear, he's alive… oh my God. He's alive. I cried, but this time tears of joy and relief!

Dean.

I felt sick all over again… what the hell did he do.

"Emily baby you're hurting me." Sam grimaced.

"Oh.. I'm. I'm so sorry. Sam. I'm so sorry." I said sitting up and grabbing his face in my hands. Kissing his cheek roughly.

"Emily, what the hell… what's gotten into you?" He asked.

"Sam… what's the last thing you remember?"

"Um… Dean showed up… then there was this. White hot pain in my back… that's about it?"

"Right… Jake." I slowly said.

"What happened Emily?" Sam asked seriously. I took a deep breath and was fixing to answer him when I heard the impala pull up. I swung my head around as footsteps quickly make their way through the cabin, Dean busted through the door.

Sam stood slowly and stiffly.

"Sammy? Thank god." Dean smiled in relief, not even looking at me as he walked up and pulled Sam into a vice grip hug.

"Owwww. Uh, Dean..." Sam groaned.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. I'm just... I'm just happy to see you up and around, that's all." Dean said with a smile. Sam looked confused. "Come on, sit down." He led Sam over to the table in the kitchen area. I sat there in shock.

"Okay. Dean... what happened to me?"

"That— that kid, stabbed you in the back. You lost a lot of blood, you know... It was pretty touch and go for awhile."

I stood up and finally entered the kitchen. What the hell is Dean doing…

"But Dean, you can't— you can't patch up a wound that bad." Sam said confused still.

"No, Bobby could. Who was that kid, anyway?"

"His name's Jake. Did you get him?"

"No, he disappeared into the woods." I answered, staring at Dean questioningly. He glanced at me and quickly looked away.

"We got to find him, Dean. And I swear I'm gonna tear that son of a bitch apart." Sam stood and said angrily, catching Dean and I both off guard.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, Van Damme. You just woke up, all right? Let's get you something to eat. Huh? You want something to eat?"

Sam nodded in response.

"I'm starving. Come on." Dean said with a grin.

I watched him and shook my head in disgust. How can he eat right now? What the hell has he done?

"Here uh, Bobby brought us some chicken… um. I think there's a pizza and some drinks over here." Dean said walking around the table and pushing things towards Sam, who chuckled at his excitement. He looked at me and I faked a smile, I really am SO happy that Sam is alive. But Dean's hiding something.

"I'm gonna run to the car and grab a beer, you want a beer?" Dean asked Sam.

"Yeah sure, sounds great."

Dean quickly moved towards the door.

"Hey Sammy I'm gonna run out there with Dean and grab a drink, okay?"

"Yeah, sure Em… are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah… you just. Uh. Gave me a real scare Sammy. I thought I lost you."

"Well, I'm still here kiddo. Its gonna be okay."

"Yeah." I gave a brief smile before walking outside. I found Dean digging in the trunk. I stopped and took a deep breath before walking around to stand beside him.

"Dean Winchester… what did you do?" I asked glaring at him. He glanced at me, but otherwise avoided meeting my eyes.

"I uh, I saved him Em… I got him back. But. I don't think there's really a need to tell him what happened okay? Lets just stick with the story we've got. Okay? I'll fill Bobby in."

"Dammit Dean… what did you do!" I said louder. He sighed and his shoulders slumped slightly. He stopped digging around in the trunk and finally looked at me.

"Emily… I couldn't let him die. I couldn't watch you lose him, I couldn't lose him. Please. Don't tell him."

The gnawing in my stomach grew stronger with each word out of his mouth. His pleading tone making a lump grow in my throat. Tears stung my eyes. I was almost too afraid to say the words.

"Dean… did- did you." I sucked in a sharp breath. He stared at me. Nothing in his face was denying it… no. God please no. Anything but this.

"…Did you make a deal?" I asked as the lump in my throat cut each word.

Dean's eyes watered, but his mouth didn't move to form the words.

"Oh God… Dean. No..no no." I cried leaning over and grabbing my stomach. I turned away from him feeling the vomit creep up my throat. I moved towards the edge of the bushes and heaved over and over again. Dean moved to come behind me and hold my hair. I stood and moved to push him away, but before my hand made contact he was thrown backwards and onto the ground. He looked up to me in shock. Unsure of what the just happened… I began to shake, staring between him on the ground and my hands.

"Oh my God… " I began to hyperventilate. The breaths coming shorter and shorter as they went. Dean stood and moved to hold me. I stopped him and pulled back.

"Don't touch me!" I yelled angrily. I wrapped my arms around myself and tried to focus on my breathing hearing Dean's voice in my ear.

"Emily, babygirl please… you have to understand. I-I had to save him." He begged.

"Dean how could you do this?! To me, to Sam?! I mean what the hell is wrong with you! You were DEVESTATED when you found out about Daddy. How do you think Sam's gonna feel!" I yelled.

A tear fell down his cheek.

"Emily, you can't tell him. Please… I'm begging you. Don't tell him." He asked with a shaky voice.

"Dean… what about me?" I asked as tears fell down my face.

"Emily I-"

"Don't… don't." I cried before walking away from him and turning back towards the house. I walked up the steps and realized walking inside to Sam like this won't do any good. I wiped my eyes and took some deep breaths to recompose myself. When I went inside I went straight to the bathroom with a sink that barely ran, but I took what little cold water I could get and splashed it on my face, trying to clear the redness. It took me a few minutes, but eventually it began to fade.

I walked back out and found the boys at the table, Dean looked at me, with hidden words screaming at me from his eyes. Begging me to go with this lie, to keep this from Sam. I looked away from him and to Sam, who looked at me concerned. I gave him a brief smile and sat down, he had set me out a piece of pizza and a root beer between him and Dean.

"You okay Em?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Sam… I'm just not that hungry right now. Just. Tired I guess." I said laying my head against his shoulder. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"So. What the hell happened in that town?" Dean asked, getting Sam's attention.

"Man. I don't even know where to start." Sam sighed.

"They were slaughtering kids like Sam and me. They would bring them in 3 or 4 at a time until only one was left." I answered without looking up at the boys. Instead I stared at the 2 day old piece of pizza in front of me.

"Yeah man. It was crazy." Sam added.

"Anyone we know there?" Dean asked.

"Ava was actually there, reigning champion until we came along believe it or not."

"…Andy was there too." I added sadly. Sam put his arm around me.

"Wait, they killed Andy?!" Dean asked. "That guy was like the freaking nerdy white version of Bob Marley."

"Ava tore him to shreds." I said biting back tears.

"I'm sorry kiddo." Dean said reaching out to me.

"Don't." I said shooting my eyes at him. He looked hurt and panicked all at the same time, afraid I was fixing to spill his little secret.

"Emily what's wrong with you?" Sam asked.

"Nothing. I… I just. I'm just tired. Just. Keep talking, I'm paying attention." I said putting my head in my hands. Avoiding looking at either of them.

Sam continued to explain in detail how we ended up in the town and the events that then pursued. Dean and him conversed. I chewed on the pizza, eating almost half of it by the time they finished talking.

"Wait, Sam… what about that dream you said you had before Ava disappeared?" I asked remembering he told me he had found out something big.

"Oh, Um… I don't. I don't remember Em." He answered quickly. Obviously lying. I expected Dean to push, but instead he nodded… I guess he's feeling guilty about a little white lie of his own. Instead of causing more drama right now. I just dropped it. Keeping it at the back of my mind for now.

"How'd you find us?" Sam asked Dean.

"Oh um, I called Bobby… he had an idea. We um… we were gonna get some help from Ash. He said he had an idea on where you might be. But when we got there the roadhouse was gone. Along with everyone in it."

"What?" Sam asked shocked. This caught my attention enough for me to look up at Dean.

"Ash is dead?" I asked.

"Yeah kiddo. I'm guessing Ellen too, but I couldn't identify the rest of the bodies. But. I know Ash is dead."

"You know they were probably targeted for helping us track the demon, right?" I asked him harshly. "I mean, if we hadn't gotten those poor people involved they'd still be alive!" I said standing up and yelling at Dean.

"Whoa Em calm down." Sam said putting a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.

"We should've been able to protect Andy! We should've saved him! Instead, we just let everyone around us die! EVERYONE!" I screamed. Feeling fresh tears fall to the table below me. Dean never tore away from my gaze. Instead he took it all without saying a word.

I spun and shoved the chair behind me backwards, shuffling past it and Sam.

"Emily wait." Sam called after me.

"Sam, don't… just let her go." Dean said quickly after, stopping him from coming after me.

I made my way outside and locked myself in the backseat of the impala. My breath was coming shorter and faster, I crumbled into a ball and buried my face in my knees. I screamed, and cried… letting all this pent up emotion spill while I was alone. Where Sam couldn't ask questions, where I wouldn't have to lie for Dean. Where I could face how truly fucked up my life has just become. All in a matter of days… nothing will ever be the same.

"Why are you doing this to us?!" I screamed looking up… wondering if there was someone really listening. Or if everything I'd believed was a lie.

I stayed there until I dozed off, laying in the seat with my jacket as a pillow. I had a dreamless sleep thankfully. Not that I'm sure a nightmare could be worse than my life at the moment. When I woke I was being gently rattled back and forth, old county roads aren't always the smoothest. It didn't take me long to realize that we were driving, leaving that horrible cabin, away from that horrible town. I didn't want the boys to know I was awake. I repositioned and quietly stretched my legs, well… until I successfully knocked something off the seat and it landed to the floor with a thud, causing both of them to look back.

"Hey kiddo you up?" Sam asked. I smiled slightly and nodded.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"I don't know, passing through some town on the way to Bobby's."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"About 6 hours." Dean answered watching me carefully through the rearview mirror. Every time I link eyes with him its like someone's ripped into my chest, digging around for scraps of what's left. I looked away after a minute. Unable to bear the pain.

"You feeling better Em?" Sam asked optimistically.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good… sorry. I just. Needed to sleep I guess. How much farther to Bobby's?"

"About an hour." Dean answered. This time I didn't meet his gaze. Instead I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around Sam, letting them rest on his broad shoulders. I leaned my head against the back of his neck. Taking in that he really is alive. I have my Sammy back. God… I needed him.

But I need Dean too…

Instead of pulling away or asking questions, Sam grabbed my hands and pulled them forward. Signaling for me to come sit up front. I was hesitant, but obliged silently, curling up into his side. Listening to him and Dean bicker about music choices on the radio.

All I can think about is how insignificant this all is. I closed my eyes and prayed that the hour would pass quickly, unsure that I'd be able to bite my tongue for long.

If you thought my face was priceless, then you should've seen Bobby's. The color dropped from his face as he opened the door and his eyes focused on Sam. A nervous Dean stood behind me, knowing that Bobby too would not be happy with what he's done.

"Hey, Bobby." Dean said barely looking up from the ground.

"Hey, Bobby." Sam smiled.

"Sam. It's good to ... see you up and around." Bobby replied hesitantly.

"Yeah ... thanks for patching me up." Sam said as he stepped past Bobby and into the house. Dean followed, and then me. Bobby looked between the two of us accusingly.

"Don't mention it." He mumbled.

"Well Sam's better. And we're back in it now, so... what do you know?" Dean said before Bobby could spill his dirty little secret.

"Well, I found something. But I'm not sure what the hell it means."

"What is it?" Sam asked.

"Demonic omens... like a frickin' tidal wave. Cattle deaths. Lightning storms. They skyrocketed from out of nowhere. Here." He pointed on a map he laid on the table in front of us. "All around here, except for one place... Southern Wyoming."

"Wyoming?" Dean asked confused.

"Yeah. That one area's totally clean – spotless. It's almost as if..."

"What?"

"The demons are surrounding it." I answered. "But you don't know why?" I looked up and asked.

"No, and by this point my eyes are swimming. Sam, would you take a look at it? Maybe you could catch something I couldn't."

"Yeah, sure." Sam smiled pulling the map towards him.

"Come on, Dean. I got some more books in the truck. Help me lug 'em in. Em you come too. Gotta trinket or two out here for ya." Bobby said glaring at us. Sam missed this as he buried himself into the map. I watched Dean swallow a lump in his throat and follow Bobby out, me not far behind.

"You stupid ass! What did you two do?" Bobby demanded once we reached the junk yard. Dean looked away, I felt tears work themselves back to my eyes. Forcing myself to hold them back.

"What did you do?!" Bobby yelled pushing Dean. He then turned and looked at me, unfortunately my face doesn't lie. He quickly realized why I was so upset and turned back to Dean.

"You made a deal... For Sam, didn't you? How long did they give you?" He asked getting in Dean's face. I moved to cover my mouth with my hand. Refusing to cry anymore in front of Dean. Not over this.

"Bobby." Dean mumbled.

"How long?!"

"One year."

The words fell out of his mouth and my breath left my body, one year… only one year. That's barely days, weeks… its nothing. I quickly turned away from them, hiding my reaction.

"Damn it, Dean." Bobby said shakily.

"Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch. That's why I'm gonna kill him myself. I mean, I got nothing to lose now, right?" Dean asked. Bobby grabbed him by the collar and shook him.

"I could throttle you!" He said with a strained voice, obviously upset.

"What, and send me downstairs ahead of schedule?"

Knives… daggers, blades. Whatever you wanna call them. Every time Dean speaks it only makes it worse. I choked back a sob and took in a deep breath through my nose. Fighting so hard not to lose it all over again.

"What is it with you Winchesters, huh? You, your dad. You're both just itching to throw yourselves down the pit."

"That's my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I'm not even supposed to be here. At least this way, something good could come out of it, you know? I-I-It's like my life could mean something." Dean said weakly.

"What? And it didn't before?! Have you got that low of an opinion of yourself? Are you that screwed in the head?!"

"I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I couldn't. He's our brother." Dean said, choking on the words.

"How is your brother gonna feel when he knows your going to hell? How'd you feel when you knew your dad went for you? How do you think that little girl right there feels right now?"

I'm sure Bobby was pointing at me, but I couldn't bear to turn around and face them. I just couldn't.

"You can't tell him. You take a shot at me, whatever you got to do, but please don't tell him." Dean begged.

Before Bobby could respond there was the sound of movement close by, metal clinking together. I spun and Bobby grabbed me, pulling me to duck behind a car with him and Dean. We waited as the sound grew closer. A shadow approached and Dean and Bobby both jumped out as it came around the corner.

"Ellen?" Dean said shocked as he realized who they were holding. Ellen nods and begins to cry. Dean and her hug tightly. "Ellen. Oh, God." Dean breathed.

I watched Dean and Ellen for just a moment, then I looked up to Bobby. Who like my brothers could more often than not read me like an open book. He looked at me with such… pity. Such worry, sadness, and most of all pain. I quickly looked away and began to walk back towards the house. I just can't do this right now.

I quickly ascended the steps, shutting the door to the only bedroom I've ever been able to claim as my own. I just… I can't be with them right now. I can't function normally. I can't focus. I can hardly breathe, let alone help anyone right now. I can't lie to Sam. I can't hardly look at him.

I listened closely as they all discussed what had been found at the roadhouse, though their voices were mostly quiet and muffled I could make out about half of it, giving me a decent idea of what was going on. I eventually gave up. The sun was setting and painted the sky fuchsia, to sky blue, and to a deep orange that was almost red. I climbed out the second story window and sat on the roof, watching the colors blend and fade. It wasn't long before there was knocking at the bedroom door. Lack of response caused whoever it was to open the door and walk towards the open window. I stared straight ahead as Dean poked his head through the open window and sighed. He then climbed and moved to sit next to me.

"Kiddo… we need to talk about this."

I didn't respond.

"I know you're hurting, and I know that its my fault. I know you can't hardly stand to look at me right now. But we've got a lead on the demon, on Jake. If we're gonna take these bitches down then I need you on the team. We can't do it without you."

I still couldn't pry my mouth open.

"Emily. Please… Just give me something."

"I-I don't know what you want from me." I whispered still refusing to look at him.

"I want you to come and be a part of this fight. I want you to be there when we finally end this. Cause if it's the last thing I do, I'm gonna watch the life fade from that yellow eyed son of a bitch."

"Would you stop!" I finally turned to him and yelled. "How the hell am I supposed to be able to go out there and focus on anything other than the fact that I get to watch you die! That you CHOSE to leave me."

"Emily, its not like that babygirl I swear, I just… I couldn't let him die."

"Neither could I but dammit Dean you could have talked to me! Told me what you were thinking! We could have gone together and bargained for something OTHER than your fucking soul! We could've found another way! Together! But no… no. Dean Winchester doesn't think. He just fucking acts. And on top of all this… Dean. Something's happening to me. I am so scared… but I can't even talk about it without giving away the fact that Sam was dead! So… I'll just what, hide this? For how long? How do we even know what the hell this is?! What if I start having visions? Huh, What do we tell Sam then?!"

"Em I'm sorr-"

"Don't. Just… don't Dean. Just go away." I said trying not to let him hear the cracking in my voice.

He ran his hand through his hair before climbing back inside the window. It wasn't even a minute later before someone else sat next to me on the roof.

"Well I assume you heard all that."

"Yeah darling, I did." Bobby said looking out at the darkening sky. "Emily, I know he's really messed this one up. But he's not wrong when he says this is our chance. We finally have the upper hand. And it really is gonna take all of us. We could really use a hand here."

"Bobby I don't know if I can… I feel like everything in my life has crumbled over the last few days. I'm scared." I whispered.

"C'mere darling." Bobby out stretched his arm and I moved to curl underneath it. Seeking comfort form someone who know what's going on and understands how it all effects me. Bobby is the only one I have right now. Sam is in the dark… I can't talk to Dean right now. All I have is Bobby.

"I won't lie to you Em, life's not gonna be easy for a while. Its gonna be a rough ride. But if there is anyone who can handle it, it'd sure as hell be a Winchester."

I felt tears sting my eyes again.

"Bobby… I can't lose him. I don't know what to do. But I'm so happy to have Sam back… I just. I can't figure out what emotion trumps the other. I just don't know how to process any of this."

"I wish I knew what to tell you. But I don't. There's not manual on how to handle something like this. But I know you don't have to do this alone. You're brothers may be idjits, but they love you more than anything. Even if they don't always show it."

"I know." I whispered wiping my face and sniffing back more tears.

"So… have you… experienced anything odd, since Sam died."

"Yeah, actually… I don't really understand it. I'm not sure how to explain it, but its there."

"Well Em, keep me updated and I'll help you figure them out any way I can. I promise."

"Thanks Uncle Bobby."

"No problem darling, now come on. Game face on, we got a job to do."

I nodded and smiled briefly before following Bobby back inside. I cleared my face and walked back out to join my brothers and Ellen as we packed our bags and loaded back into the impala. Ellen and Bobby rode together. I went to sit in the backseat, but Sam motioned for me to climb up front with him and Dean. I hesitated, then I walked forward and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back, but I didn't miss the confusion on his face when I pulled away and sat in the back seat instead.

The drive to the cemetery was quiet. Everyone mentally preparing themselves for what was to come. The boys filled me in on any information I missed. We were planning on taking down Jake. We assume yellow eyes is using him to get into this devil's trap, and get to whatever its protecting.

Dean positioned us each with gun's ready so that we could wait for Jake to arrive. From behind the large tombstone I could see Dean leaned against a tree, Sam, Bobby, and Ellen were out of my line of sight. I looked up to Dean, he stared back at me. Its like we don't even know how to talk to each other anymore. He finally mouthed the words "I'm sorry", but our attention was quickly redirected to the footsteps. I looked over and watched as Jake entered the cemetery.

It took everything in me not to lunge at him and rip his throat out with my bare hands… HE killed Sam. HE is the reason that Dean had to sell his soul. Jake has ruined my life… and I'm going to tear him to shreds.

"Howdy, Jake." Sam said coming out from behind a crypt, the rest of us showed ourselves as well, showing Jake that he was surrounded, guns in the air.

"Wait... you were dead. I killed you." Jake said nervously looking at Sam as if he was seeing a ghost. Dean and I exchanged nervous looks, but Sam didn't miss a beat.

"Yeah? Well next time, finish the job." Sam mocked.

"I did! I cut clean through your spinal cord, man. You can't be alive. You can't be." Jake said shaking his head. Sam glanced at Dean and I but quickly went back to Jake.

"Okay, just take it real easy there, son." Bobby said trying to control the situation.

"And if I don't?"

"Wait and see." I growled. I'm begging to get my hands on him.

"What, you a hardass all of a sudden? What are you gonna do— kill me?" He looked at me and laughed.

"When I get my hands on you, you're going to beg for death."

"You had your chance. You couldn't catch me."

"I won't make that mistake twice." I said with a smirk.

Jake laughed.

"What are you smiling at, you little bitch?" Dean asked. Jake looked over to Ellen.

"Hey Lady, do me a favor. Put that gun to your head." I shot eyes to Ellen who's face faltered and her hand shakily pointed the gun at her temple. Fuck. "See that Ava girl was right. Once you give in to it, there's all sorts of new Jedi mind tricks you can learn."

"Let her go." Sam called out.

"Shoot him." Ellen said with a trembling tone.

"You'll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off. Everybody, put your guns down. Except you, sweetheart." Jake smiled sickly at Ellen. Everyone but me dropped their gun.

"Emily. Drop it!" Dean commanded.

My eyes stayed fiercely glued to Jake's face. Everything in my wanted to pull the trigger, blast a hole in his leg and knock him to the ground so that I could kill him with my bare hands.

"Emily!" Bobby called. I snapped out of my thoughts and dropped the gun to the ground. My eyes never leaving Jake's.

"Okay. Thank you." He smiled. He quickly turned and pulled a colt, no. It's THE colt, from his pocket and he inserted the barrel into the center of the large crypt. Dean and Bobby jumped for Ellen and moved the gun away seconds before it went off, Sam reached up and shot Jake in the back, I lunged for him. Tackling Jake to the ground, preventing Sam from being able to get another shot off without risking hitting me.

"Emily! Move!" Sam yelled, but I wasn't leaving. This bastard is all mine. He moved to where he was now on top of me and punched me, hard. My head snapped to the right, but there wasn't any pain. Just red. Blind rage. I reared back and punched him, knocking him to the ground. I quickly straddled him and hit him. Then again… and again… and again. Grabbing him by the neck and slamming his head into the ground. When he was efficiently subdued, but conscious I stopped.

I don't know how I knew what I was doing… I just know everything in me wanted to rip out his beating heart. I put my hand over the left side of his chest, nails digging into the skin, causing blood to seep through. His eyes went wide. Its like this force… this energy. My hand burned red hot, I could feel his heart rapidly beating against the palm of my hand.

"Please... stop. Please." Jake gasped for air.

"I told you that you were gonna beg me for death." I whispered, my voice laced with acid. I twisted and crumbled my fist and watched as he died, his face etched in pain.

I removed my shaking hand from his chest and looked up. Everyone stared at me… with… shock? Fear? I honestly don't know how to describe it.

Like a flood it all it hit me at once… what the hell did I just do…. How the hell did I do it? Oh god… what the hell is wrong with me? I looked back up to my brothers. Dean slowly approached me with hands raised, as if I was holding a bomb.

"I.. I. I don't know what happened." I said shakily as he knelt down in front of me and wrapped my shaking hands in one of his own.

"Its okay… we're gonna be okay." He said cupping my chin with his other hand. We both shot our heads towards the crypt as it began to rumble. The pieces in the center all began to turn in opposite directions.

"Oh, no." Bobby said staring at it.

"Bobby, what is it?" Ellen asked.

"It's hell." Bobby said with wide eyes. Dean jumped up and pulled the colt out of the crypt, but it was too late. It was opening already.

"Take cover— now!" Bobby yelled. Dean grabbed me and we all dove behind tombstones, ducking down and taking cover. Dean covered me, wedging me between the stone and his body. Sam was at a tombstone next to us.

"What the hell just happened?!" Dean yelled over to Bobby and Ellen on our other side.

"That's a devil's gate. A damn door to hell."

I looked over the tombstone and watched as demon after demon flew out of the door in clouds of black smoke. With it were spirits, running, fleeing… escaping hell.

"Come on! We gotta shut that gate!" Ellen called as her Bobby and Sam all moved and ran towards the doors, pushing against them. I went to stand but Dean grabbed my arm.

"If the demon gave this to Jake... then maybe..." He mumbled looking between me and the colt in his hand that still had one bullet left. Thunder crashed and I looked behind Dean, bright yellow eyes met mine.

"Dean!" I yelled, he turned to see him as well. The demon flung the colt out of Dean's hands.

"Boys shouldn't play with Daddy's guns." He flings his hands and sends Dean flying through the air, smacking into a tombstone, he laid on the ground stunned.

"Dean!" I yelled and moved to run towards him, but yellow eyes pinned me against a tree.

"Emily!" Sam called, and then he ran towards us as well, but was pinned too.

"I'll get to you in a minute, champ. But I'm proud of you— knew you had it in you." He smiled at Sam.

Dean began to try and stand up, but the demon flung him through the air again.

"Sit a spell. So, Dean... I gotta thank you. You see, demons can't resurrect people, unless a deal is made. I know, red tape— it'll make you nuts. But thanks to you, Sammy's back in rotation." Yellow eyes said approaching him. I looked over to Sam, he was across the field and thankfully couldn't hear what was being said. But I could.

"Now, I wasn't counting on that, but I'm glad. I liked him better than Jake, anyhow. Tell me— have you ever heard the expression, If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?"

"You call that deal good?" Dean asked him.

"Well, it's a better shake than your dad ever got. And you never wondered why? I'm surprised at you. I mean… here you are worried about bringing Sam back to life. But have you even considered what's been unleashed in his death?"

Both Dean and yellow eyes turn to look at me. Yellow eyes chuckled.

"Besides, how certain are you that what you brought back, is 100%, pure, Sam? You of all people should know, that's what's dead, should stay dead. Anyway... thanks a bunch. Not only to I have Sam back on the field but I've got Emily out there too. Even I don't know what she's truly capable of… it'd be fun to find out though right? I mean did you see what she did to Jake? Interesting isnt' it? I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now, anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family." The demon cocked the gun and aimed it at Dean, but just as he raised the gun. Someone appeared behind him.

"Daddy." I whispered. Dean's eyes locked on Dad as he grabbed the yellow eyed demon and wrestled with the cloud of black smoke as the body he was possessing fell to the ground. The smoke expanded and threw Daddy to the ground. Then it quickly filled the body again and his eyes opened to reveal that same familiar bright yellow glow.

He stood and turned to face Dean just as he cocked the gun, firing the last bullet through yellow eye's chest. I stood in awe and watched as electricity shot through his body, lightning striking from the sky. The bright yellow color faded out to brown and his body fell to the ground. Sam and I both dropped to the ground. I stood and hadn't even realized up until now that Ellen and Bobby had closed the gate.

I took small steps towards Dean… and my Daddy. He stood tall, proud. Wearing a smile I hadn't seen in what felt like years. Sam walked up beside us. Daddy placed a hand on Dean's shoulder and smiled at him as a tear fell down his cheek. Not that any of the Winchester's had a dry eye at the moment. He then leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.

He looked up to Sam and gave a proud nod. Tears streamed down Sam's face. I linked my hand with his, his squeezed it tightly. Daddy stepped backwards, looking at us all with proud eyes. Dean wrapped an arm over my shoulder as we watched Daddy fade into a bright white light. And all over again… he was gone.

I turned into Sam and cried… relief. Pain. Fear. Happiness. Anger. It was like every emotion I had hit me all at one time. I just… don't know how to process any of it. So for now I'll just stay cradled against my brother, for as long as he'll allow me.

"Well, check that off the to-do list." Dean chuckled slightly as we all gazed down at yellow eye's body.

"You did it." Sam smiled with bright eyes. I clung against him and his arms squeezed me slightly.

"I didn't do it alone." Dean said looking between Sam and I.

"Do you think Daddy really climbed out of hell?" I asked.

"The door was open. If anyone's stubborn enough to do it... it would be him." Dean replied.

"Where do you think he is now?" I asked.

"I don't know Em. I kind of can't believe it, Dean. I mean... our whole lives, everything... has been prepping for this, and now I... I kind of don't know what to say." Sam chuckled.

"I do." He leaned down to hover over the body. "That was for our mom... you son of a bitch."

We all began to walk back towards the impala. I finally released Sam and leaned against it as Dean opened his door.

"You know, when Jake saw me... it was like he saw a ghost." Sam said looking between me and Dean. I immediately cut my eyes to the ground. Dean stopped and shut the door he opened. "I mean, hell, you heard him, Dean. He said he killed me."

"Glad he was wrong." Dean quickly answered.

"I don't think he was. What happened? After I was stabbed?" Sam said turning to me, I looked anywhere but at him.

"We already told you." I whispered.

"Not everything. Emily… I saw what you did to Jake. You've been a mess ever since I woke up. You've been avoiding talking to me, looking at me, you think I can't tell when you lie? Both of you… tell me the truth. Now."

"Sam, we just killed the demon. Can we celebrate for a minute?" Dean asked.

"Did I die?" Sam asked boldly. Looking between Dean and I. I panicked and fidgeted, moving to walk away but Sam grabbed me.

"Sam please let me go." I cried not looking at him. He finally did.

"Well I guess that answers that question." Sam sighed, I turned around to look at him and Dean.

"Oh, come on. That means nothing. She's been stressed out and upset!"

"Did you sell your soul for me, like Dad did for you?" He asked angrily.

"Oh, come on! No!" Dean argued.

"Tell me the truth." Sam demanded… Dean's eyes watered slightly and he sniffled. I put my hand over my mouth to hide my face. Sam watched me, and then turned back to Dean.

"Dean, tell me the truth." He said calm yet sternly.

"Sam..."

"How long do you get?" Sam asked with his voice cracking… causing the lump in my throat to rise.

"One year. I got one year."

"You shouldn't've done that. How could you do that?" Sam asked fighting back tears of his own.

"Don't get mad at me too. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you. That's my job." Dean begged.

"And what do you think my job is?"

"What?"

"You've saved my life over and over. Me and Em both. I mean, you sacrifice everything for us. Don't you think we'd do the same for you? You're our big brother. There's nothing we wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes, I'm gonna get you out of this. Guess we gotta save your ass for a change. Right Em?" Sam asked turning towards me. I nodded, unable to speak without crying. He out stretched his hand and I slowly walked forward. He put an arm around me and turned us back to Dean.

"We're gonna save you Dean."

"Yeah." Dean smiled briefly. Ellen and Bobby began to walk towards us.

"Well... Yellow-Eyed Demon might be dead. But a lot more got through that gate." Ellen said.

"How many you think?" Dean asked.

"Hundred. Maybe two hundred. It's an army. He's unleashed an army." Sam mumbled. I leaned my head against his chest, his voice hummed against my ear.

"Hope to hell you three are ready. 'Cause the war has just begun."

"Well, then ..." Dean smiled looking over to Sam and I. "We got work to do."


	42. Chapter 42

Author's Note: Yay! We're here! Season 3! Okay guys… Emily's powers will be explored! Her big secret is going to come EXTREMELY soon. And we're gonna meet some fun characters! Can't wait to see what you guys think. Its gonna be a bumpy ride for Em! I also noticed that season 3 was a short season compared to the others, only 16 episodes, and I usually cut a few out anyways, so I may still do that, and add in some original chapters, we'll just see how it goes! Please read and review and let me know what you think! Love you guys!

(Dean's POV)

"Dean… Dean."

"Mmm…" Can't a man get some damn sleep in this place?

"Dean, its Em again." Sam whispered shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and looked over to the other bed Sam had just climbed out of. Em was tossing and turning, a fresh layer of sweat over her face. I sat up and wiped my eyes before flipping on the lamp and going to sit beside her.

"Emily… Em sweetheart wake up." I gently rubbed up and down her arms. Her body reacted by trying to pull away

"No! No.. please.. no." She mumbled.

"Emily, wake up." I shook her again. Her big brown eyes flew open and her heart rate increased even more than it did so before. She jumped forward, but then reared back when she realized she was in someone's grip.

"No! No let me go!" She yelled, before I could respond the lightbulbs in every lamp in the room burst and she screamed, causing me and Sam to jump.

"Emily! Stop!" I yelled shaking her slightly as my vision attempted to adjust to having only the moonlight through the window.

"D-D-Dean?" She stuttered.

"Yeah babygirl I'm here."

Without responding she pulled away from me and quickly jogged into the bathroom. Sam looked up at me and shook his head as we faintly listened to her heaving. I sighed deeply.

"Well Dean… here we are again."

"Sam. Do we really have to do this?"

"She's a mess, Dean."

"Really Sam? I hadn't noticed." I replied sarcastically.

"Man, what the hell went through your head when you decided to sell your soul! Did you even think about her?"

Un. Fucking. Believable.

"Yes Sam. As a matter of fact I did. I thought about how she cried for hours, and hours… making herself sick. She didn't sleep, didn't eat. She didn't hardly speak for 3 days! You think she's a mess now? You weren't there when Bobby had to pull her out of the mud cause she didn't have the strength to stand up. You didn't see how lifeless her eyes were when you died. You didn't watch sit by your body day and night, begging for you to come back. SHE… needed you back. Okay. WE. We both needed you."

"And how did you think she was going to be without you?"

Sam stood up and began to walk away from me, I know he's right… but. I wouldn't change what I did. I have my brother back, that's all that matters. Em is tough. She'll get through this. I've got on year to get her ready to live without me, and I know what I need to do to make sure that happens.

"Sam, I think its time I tol-"

(Emily's POV)

I pulled the bathroom door open and both boys looked at me in concern, I seem to have interrupted their conversation. I diverted my eyes to the floor and walked over to the fridge getting out a water bottle and letting the cold water rinse out my mouth.

"You good Kiddo?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm sorry I woke you up again. I can sleep on the couch, that way I won't wake you two up so often."

"No, Emily. That's insane. I'm not gonna kick you to the couch because you have nightmares." Sam dryly laughed.

"You sure Sammy?" I asked turning to look at him.

"Yeah, Em. I'm positive. C'mon. Lets get some sleep." He said sitting on the bed and fixing the blankets.

"I need to pick up the broken glass." Cause ya know, I'm a fucking freak now.

"Already done." Dean smiled, then he stood and made his way between me and the bed. Knowing I would walk right past him. I turned back to the sink and took another drink. The cold water was nice. Refreshing. I put it back in the fridge and crossed my arms as I walked back towards the bed.

The closer I got to Dean, the more uncomfortable I felt. I hate this. This man raised me, and I can't hug him?

Undoubtedly he wrapped his arms around me as I came by. I tried to stiffen as little as possible. I leaned my head against his chest. Listening to his steady heartbeat… I wonder how many times a heart beats in a year… its almost like a clock. Counting down.

The thought made me want to be sick all over again, I pulled away abruptly. I didn't miss the heart broken expression on his face when I did.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as I stepped around him and towards the bed. I've shared a bed with Sam all week. Thankfully he isn't pushing the issue, I guess he knows I'm still trying to find a way to cope with this mess.

I climbed into bed next to Sam and wrapped both arms around one of his, nuzzling against his shoulder. I just… need to know he's there. That for now… I'm okay. Sorta.

On top of processing all of this stuff with Dean… my… abilities? Have uh, been a bit of a mess as well. I keep breaking things, glasses in restaurants, windows in buildings, light bulbs. A few days ago I shattered a clock in the lobby of an office building.

Its like it feeds off of my anxiety. Which has been through the roof since we left the cemetery. I've only had a panic attack a few times, but I feel like they're coming more often. I just… I feel like I'm falling down this giant worm hole, and I can't get to the bottom. I'm just constantly falling, overwhelmed with fear.

I fell asleep eventually, getting in a few hours before Sam gently shook me awake. Dean was already up and drinking coffee. Sam left the room and went to shower, leaving me alone with Dean. I sighed and got out of the bed. I retrieved my water bottle from last night and sat across from my brother.

"You feeling any better Em?" He asked kindly.

"Yeah. I'm okay." I mumbled.

"Emily, can we please talk about this. I know what you're doing. I get you're freaked out about whats going on. So you're trying to get your emotions in check. But its killing you kiddo. You want to be mad, you wanna yell, scream. Just do it! You-you wanna cry, you're scared… I don't care what you gotta do Em but just do it! I can't stand watching this. I can't let the next year be you constantly avoiding me."

I reluctantly met eyes with him.

"Dean. I don't know what to do, okay? I'm trying." I said quietly, twisting my hands together.

"No! You're not, you're holding back and you need to snap!"

"Dean don't you get it?! I don't just "snap" anymore… I don't just get a little angry and punch people. I could seriously hurt someone, we don't even know what I'm capable of!"

"So then lets find out!" He stood up and shouted.

"Dean stop!" I yelled back.

Suddenly Sam started shouting at us from the bathroom, he flung the door open wrapped in a towel, his hair dripping wet.

"Can I not take one hot shower in peace? I mean seriously! That water went cold as ice in less than a second."

"I'm sorry Sam." I sighed. "I'm going for a walk."

"Kiddo stop…" Dean reached out and grabbed me, I pulled my arm away from him.

"I'm sorry Dean… I'm trying." I said before walking out the door.

(Dean's POV)

She slammed the door shut and it felt like a slap in the face. I've got to get her to snap out of this… I gotta get her to talk to me. I can't die with her hating me.

"Dean… lay off of her." Sam warned angrily.

"Sam, she's gotta deal with this, you're the one who's always pushing her to work through shit. Now that you're the favorite you just want to let her be?!"

"Dean. Do you realize how fucking ridiculous that sounds coming out of your mouth? YOU asked for this. YOUR actions led to this… Now I am trying to get her to work through this, but its gonna take time. Pushing her right now doesn't help. I'm sorry you have no patience but you're gonna have to find some and let her work through this in her own time… she's hurting Dean. So don't push her."

"Yeah… sure. Whatever… "

Man I need to get laid.

(Emily's POV)

"Sam… are we gonna be here all night?"

Sam looked up as Dean gave us a thumbs up and shut the curtains. The music so loud I could clearly sing along to it from the car. I rolled my eyes.

"I hope not Em. Find anything yet?"

I looked back down at the book in my hands, I've read it 3 times already, Sam twice. The book he's reading I've read already also… but maybe he catches something I missed. I'll take anything at this point.

"No. Not a damn thing."

"We'll find something, don't give up on me yet."

"Never." I promised him with a weak smile, he sent one back.

"You know he was kinda right this morning… I know you're just trying to be careful but you keep biting back all this… crap. Its causing the nightmares, you don't hardly eat or sleep. Em. Its gonna tear you apart if you don't just face it."

"Sam… if you heard what he said then you heard what I said too. We have no idea what the hell could happen if I do. I'm not fixing to let you or Dean get hurt. Or worse."

"Em. You won't, but you're hurting yourself. You can't keep this up. You've got to tell him how you really feel. You gotta face this."

"Okay Sam… I get it." I sighed and cut him off.

Instead of replying he put his hand over the book my eyes were glued to. He stayed there until I looked up to him. He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head.

"I'm scared of losing him too… and when you're ready to talk about that. I'm here."

Thankfully Sam's phone rang so I wasn't obligated to respond. He sighed and dug into his pocket. Flipping it open and putting it on speaker.

"Hey Bobby."

"Hey Sam, whatcha doing?"

"Oh, same old, same old."

"You and Em buried in that book again?"

Silence answered his question.

"Sam, you want to break Dean free of that demon deal, you ain't gonna find the answer in no book."

"Then where, Bobby?" I asked exasperated.

"Darlin, I wish I knew. So where's your brother?"

"Getting his dick w-"

"Polling the electorate." Sam cut in glaring at me. What? I was just being honest.

"What?" Bobby asked confused.

"Never mind." Sam mumbled.

"Well, you three better pack it up. I think I finally found something." Bobby said before hanging up.

Sam and I exchanged glances and I shook my head.

"No way… this one's all you."

"Gee, thanks." Sam said sarcastically as he got out of the car and went to knock on the hotel door. I watched as he briefly poked his head in, and then quickly retreated, looking as if he wanted to claw his eyeballs out of his head. Ha!

I giggled in the seat as he climbed back in. Sam looked at me and glared.

"Not funny." He said seriously. About ten minutes later Dean came jogging out of the room with a smile plastered on his face. He jumped in Baby and I quickly made my way to the backseat. He gunned it and threw it in reverse so quick that I was thrown against the seat.

"Dean!" I groaned. But he laughed and gunned it again as we approached a hill. I swear all four of the tires left the road before bouncing back. Causing me to lose my balance again. Geez!

"Let me see your knife." Sam nonchalantly requested.

"What for?" Dean looked over at him confused.

"So I can gouge my eyes out."

"It was a beautiful, natural act, Sam."

"It's a part of you I never wanted to see, Dean."

"Hey, I appreciate you giving me a little quality time with the Doublemint Twins." Dean chuckled. I rolled my eyes. Not like we really had a choice in the matter.

"Yeah, no problem." Sam said quietly.

"Really? Well, I got to say, I was expecting a weary sigh or an eye roll, something."

"Trust me there was one." I mumbled from the back. He glanced at me in the rearview mirror and Sam turned and glared.

"No, not at all. You deserve to have a little fun." Sam continued.

"Well, I am in violent agreement with you there. What's Bobby got?"

"Not much. A crop failure and a cicada swarm outside of Lincoln, Nebraska. Ahh, could be demonic omens –"

"Or could just be a bad crop and a bug problem." I added.

"Yeah, but it's our only lead." Sam said glaring at me again.

"Any freaky deaths?" Dean asked.

"Nothing Bobby could find – not yet, anyway."

"It's weird, man. I mean, the night the devil's gate opened, all these weirdo storm clouds were sighted over how many cities?"

"Seventeen."

"Seventeen. You'd think it would be "Apocalypse Now," but it's been five days and bubkis. What are the demons waiting for?"

"Who knows, who cares." I sighed.

"Em, what else do we have to look into right now?" Dean asked cautiously, trying to come off nicely.

Oh I don't know, maybe how to break people out of their devil deals? Maybe how to prevent people from being dragged to hell by vicious hell hounds. But you know… that's not important.

"Nothing, sorry. I'm just gonna get some sleep." I said laying down in the back. I felt Sam's hand reach back and squeeze my shoulder briefly.

(Sam's POV)

"She out?" Dean asked me. I turned back and gently pushed the hair out of her face.

"Yeah man, like a light."

"Good. Maybe she'll actually get some sleep now that we're on the road."

"Man." I chuckled. "I never understood why she slept so well in the car. Even when she was little."

"Yeah, I remember Dad taking her out in the middle of the night when she was still in a carseat. He would drive around till she passed out and then sneak back in, trying not to wake her or us back up."

"Geez, poor guy." I laughed imagining Dad driving circles around motels in the middle of the night.

"Yeah… she's gonna be okay ya know? She's got you. She's gonna be hard to handle for a while but with time. She's gonna be okay when this is all over."

"Dean. Can we just not do this… not right now. I may be handling this better than she is, but I'm still kinda having a hard time with it myself."

"Yeah. Yeah man sure." Dean nodded.

"Sam… I. I think there's something you're gonna need to know. I should've told you before now."

Dean seemed to have a hard time getting the words past his mouth.

"Um, okay? What is it."

"It's Em… you should know what happened. You're gonna need to know, for when she has the nightmares, or freaks out. You should know what's going on so that you can help her. Hell, maybe you'll figure out something better than I ever could."

I listened intently. Taking in what exactly it is he was saying. He's dying and so now he feels the need to share this? On top of everything else flopping around in my mind. I mean. Not that I'm not dying to know… I just. I don't know how much more shock and awe I can take right now.

"Dean. Are you sure you want to do this right now?"

"Well… there's no time like the present."

"Dean. I just think this probably more of a sit down with a bottle of whiskey conversation. You know, maybe while Em isn't within hearing range. I just. I wouldn't want to throw more at her right now."

Or myself… I really just don't know if I can handle hearing all this at the moment. I feel guilty enough not being around whenever it happened, not being there for her.

"Oh. Yeah. Sure… maybe while we're bunked down with Bobby." Dean suggested.

"Yeah. Sounds good man." I sighed before closing my eyes. Drifting to sleep slowly.

(Emily's POV)

"Hear those cicadas?" I asked as we got out of the car at the small farmhouse. Bobby was already here, standing by his car waiting for us.

"That can't be a good sign." Dean sighed unwrapping a cheeseburger.

"No. No, it can't." Sam agreed.

"So,we're eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast, are we?" Bobby asked approaching us.

"Well, I sold my soul. Got a year to live. I ain't sweating the cholesterol." Dean said chewing another bite. I tried to hold my face, but I swear Bobby looked at me at the exact moment it faltered. I quickly recomposed and wrapped my arms across my chest.

"So, Bobby, what do you think? We got a biblical plague here or what?" Sam asked.

"Well, let's find out. Looks like the swarm's ground zero."

We approached the house and Dean stepped forward banging on the door.

"Candygram!" He yelled, earning an eye roll from Bobby. No answer. Dean picked the lock and as the door opened my hand flew to cover my nose. We all took a step back and had to breathe through the smell. It was horrible.

"That's awful." Sam said.

"That so can't be a good sign." Dean added, entering the house first. Gun drawn. We froze when we heard screams from another room. We all exchanged glances.

"You hear that?" Sam asked.

"Yep." I nodded walking forward and kicking open the door to the room. Turns out the screaming was the television, but the dead and decaying family on the couch was the real shocker.

"Oh, my god." Sam breathed covering his nose. "Bobby, what the hell happened here?"

"I don't know." Bobby mumbled. I used my sleeve to cover my nose as I walked forward slowly, carefully examining the family. Mom, dad, and a little boy… he can't be more than 8. I was staring at them intently when a hand on my shoulder caused me to jump and turn.

"Whoa, Sorry Em… Uh, check for sulfur." Dean said quickly recoiling his hand.

"Yeah." I agreed walking towards the couch but finding nothing. Suddenly Dean whistles to get our attention. He points outside to the porch, signaling that someone is there. We all drew our weapons as Dean walked out the door, me behind him and Sam and Bobby coming around the back.

I silently followed Dean outside, flanking him so that we are covered from all angles. He approached the steps… nothing. He walked over to the edge of the railing and looked around it. I turned to see what he was looking at, He shrugged and when he turned to look back at me he pushed me to the side and began to wrestle with a man, I lowered my weapon and went to dive in but was quickly pushed against the wall by a woman. I headbutted her nose, throwing her backwards, then I pounced. Straddling her as we fought.

"Isaac? Tamara?" Bobby came around the corner and called out. All the fighting paused.

"Bobby. What the hell are you doing here?" The woman beneath me asked breathless. She moved to yank her arms from my grip. Bobby walked over and gave me a hand up, and then her.

"I could ask the same." Bobby replied.

"Heya, Bobby." The dark skinned man smiled as he climbed off of Dean.

"Hello. Bleeding here." Dean called reaching up a hand. I rolled my eyes and Sam stepped forward offering him a hand up. He promptly made his way to me to check me for injuries.

"I'm fine." I mumbled pushing his hands away before he could start. He sighed and nodded, we proceeded to call in the bodies and follow Isaac and Tamara back to their place.

"Honey? Where's the Palo Santo?" Isaac asked as we came through the door.

"Well, where'd you leave it?"

"I don't know, dear. That's why I'm asking."

"Palo Santo?" I asked confused.

"It's holy wood, from Peru. It's toxic to demons like holy water. Keeps the bastards nailed down while you're exorcising them." Tamara answered as she dug into a bag and pulled out a large wooden stake, handing it over to Isaac with an affectionate smile.

"Thank you, dear." He smiled.

"You'd lose your head if it wasn't for me."

"So, how long you two been married?" Sam asked with a chuckle.

"Eight years this past June."

"The family that slays together..." Isaac began with a smirk.

"Right. I'm with you there. So, how'd you get started?" Sam asked… which was obviously the wrong question, they gave each other a sad look and no one responded.

"I, uh, you know... I'm sorry. It's not – that's none of our business." Sam quickly backtracked.

"No, no. It's – it's all right."

"Well, Jenny, if you look as pretty as you sound, I'd love to have an ... "appletini'." Dean grimaced as he entered the room still on the phone. "Yeah. Call you later." He said before hanging up. "That was the coroner's tech."

"And?" Sam asked.

"Get this – that whole family, cause of death? Dehydration and starvation. There's no signs of restraint, no violence, no struggle. They just sat down and never got up."

"But there was a fully stocked kitchen just yards away." I said confused.

"Right. What is this, a demon attack?"

"If it is, it's not like anything I ever saw, and I've seen plenty." Bobby answered.

"Well, what now? What should we do?" Dean asked.

"Uh, "we're" not gonna do anything." Isaac answered.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked.

"You guys seem nice enough, but, this ain't "Scooby-Doo," and we don't play well with others."

Well excuse the fuck out of you.

"Well, I think we'd cover a lot more ground if we all worked together." Sam answered, putting a hand on my shoulder knowing my temper is fragile these days.

"No offense, but we're not teaming with the damn fools who let the Devil's Gate get opened in the first place."

"No offense? Are you fucking kidding me right now?" I quickly chirped.

"Isaac. Like you've never made a mistake." Tamara said calming him down.

"Oh yeah, yeah. Locked my keys in the car, turned my laundry pink. Never brought on the end of the world, though."

"Alright, I think that's enough." Dean said stepping forward, I stepped up next to him. Prepping for a fight. Suddenly the glass bottles on the table began to rattle back and forth. We all turned to look at them curiously. Shit… dammit. No. I took a deep breath and they stilled.

"Guys, this isn't helping. Dean—" Sam started trying to calm the situation.

"Look, there are couple hundred more demons out there now. We don't know where they are, when they'll strike. There ain't enough hunters in the world to handle something like this. You brought war down on us – on all of us." Isaac continued, a flare of anger hit my veins and suddenly one of the bottles burst.

"Okay. that's quite enough testosterone for now." Tamara said pulling Isaac out of the room, looking curiously between the broken glass and us.

Bobby, Sam, and Dean all turned to look at me. I looked up to them ashamed. I didn't mean to. I never mean to, yet it still happens.

"Em, its okay. Its not your fault." Sam said approaching me.

"Well then who's fault is it Sam?" I quickly asked. "And what would that even matter… it is what it is. I'm dangerous now! Okay, just… stay away from me. Before I bust more than a bottle." I pushed past the boys and walked out to the impala. Where I could be alone. Where I can't hurt anyone.

We bunked down in a motel for the night. Bobby and Sam in one room, Dean and I in another. Everyone gets their own bed, rare occasion for that to happen. We all showered and said our goodnights, Dean went to salt the doors and windows before climbing into his own bed.

I buried myself beneath the blankets and clutched a pillow to me, seeking the comfort of something…

"Em, you don't have to sleep alone if you don't want to." Dean offered as he climbed into his own bed.

"Better get used to it now, gonna be two of us and two beds in a year."

The words came out of my mouth before I could even think about what I was saying. Even in the dark, I know it hurt Dean's feelings. I sighed.

"I'm sorry Dean. I-I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

"No… no its okay. At least you're being honest with me finally." He mumbled back.

"Dean. I-I just don't know what to do with all this still. Okay? I'm trying."

"I know you are Em. I just. I wish I could fix this."

For some reason, talking in the dark makes it easier. So instead of blowing this off like I have every time he's tried… I figured why the hell not.

"But you can't Dean… you can't fix this. You fucked up."

"I know that Emily. And I'm sorry."

"I don't think sorry works on this one Dean. I mean, is sorry gonna call off the hell hounds? Is sorry gonna keep you from dying? Does sorry break the deal?"

"No. Kiddo it doesn't." He sighed. I turned over to face him in the dark, barely able to make out his facial features, but able to see the gloss over his eyes, and I'm sure he could see the tears in mine.

"Dean. I am SO happy to have Sam back… every time I look at him. I am… so happy. But I never wanted to trade one brother for the other. And.. I-I feel like I'm being forced to choose between you two. I feel like that being happy to have Sam back I'm disregarding losing you, or that by being upset about losing you that it means I wish Sam wasn't back." I cried. "I can't land on one emotion for more than a minute without feeling guilty about it. No matter what I do. So please… tell me how 'sorry' fixes any of that?"

He stared at me in silence.

"Yeah. I thought so… goodnight Dean." I turned over and cried myself to sleep.

"Em… Em wake up kiddo. We gotta call." Dean came over and stirred me awake. It was bright outside. Geez, what time is it? How long was I asleep. I groaned and pulled myself out of the bed, looking over to see that the clock read 11:00.

"Is that clock right?" I asked outloud.

"Yeah, you finally get a good night's sleep?"

"Yeah… I guess so." Maybe they're right… I haven't slept that well in days. "Dean." I said standing up and walking towards him, he stopped what he was doing and turned to face me, making it known that I had all of his attention.

"Yeah Em?"

"…I'm sorry about last night. I shouldn't have dumped on you like that."

"No, its okay. You should… you can't keep that all bottled up. You shouldn't have to bear this alone. Its okay to put some of it on me, hell put all of it on me Em. Its my fault."

I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him. He froze, then slowly wrapped his around me, smushing me to him as if I'd die when he lets go. It felt good… it felt. Safe. Normal.

"This doesn't fix it… but I still love you."

"I know kiddo, I love you too." He said kissing the top of my head.

We quickly made our way to the scene of a the crime. A local boutique. Some lady bashed another head in over a pair of shoes… I mean. Hey, I'm always looking for a nice pair of boots too but damn, since when did they become worth killing for?

I observed and took pictures for the 'local paper' while my brothers scoped it out, they walked over to me just as I caught site of Bobby coming onto the scene. My jaw dropped.

"Whoa." Dean called out before letting out a low whistle. "Looking spiffy, Bobby. What were you, a G-man?" He called out. I chuckled and rolled my eyes.

"Attorney for the D.A.'s office. I just spoke to the suspect."

"… I don't think I've ever seen you without a hat." I said with a curious glare. I didn't hardly know he had any hair under there.

"Well congratulations, now you have. Can we get back to the point?"

"Yeah. So, what do you think? Is she possessed or what?" Sam asked him.

"Don't think so. There's none of the usual signs – no blackouts, no loss of control. Totally lucid. Just, she really wanted those shoes. Spilled a glass of holy water on her just to be sure; nothing."

"Maybe she's just some random whack job." I suggested.

"If it had been an isolated incident, maybe, but first the family, now this? I believe in a lot of things. Coincidence ain't one of them. Did you three find anything around here?"

"No sulfur, nothing." Sam said.

"Well, maybe something." Dean said pointing to a security camera in the corner of the store. "See? I'm working." He said to Sam, who simply shook his head.

We quickly made our way into the security office to watch the video for ourselves. IT was kind of a tight fit. We were all hovering over Sam's shoulder to get a look at the tiny screen.

"Anything interesting?" Dean called from behind me, practically shouting in my ear. I winced and ducked a little. He didn't even notice.

"I don't know yet. Might just be a guy..." Sam said, but then we watched him approach our suspect and quite clearly point at the victim. Well. That's not suspicious or anything. I swear. No one is sneaky these days.

"Or it might be our guy." I sighed. "Lets find him."

We split ways, Bobby and Sam, Dean and me. I think Sam's doing this on purpose… trying to force me to face Dean. Jackass.

"What time is it?" I yawned.

"Seven past midnight." Dean answered.

"Ughhh…You sure this is the right place?"

"No. But I spent all day canvassing this stupid town with this guy's stupid mug, and, supposedly, he drinks at this ... stupid bar." Dean said waving to the building we've been parked in front of for 3 hours now. I rolled my eyes but a quick bang on the window caused me and Dean to jump, we looked over to see a snickering Sam and an unamused Bobby standing behind him. They both climbed in the backseat.

"That's not funny!" Dean yelled to Sam as he climbed in. Sam chuckled again.

"Yeah. Uh, all right, so – so, John Doe's name is Walter Rosen. He's from Oak Park, just west of Chicago. Went missing about a week ago."

"The night the Devil's Gate opened?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"So you think he's possessed?"

"Well, it's a good bet."

"So, what, he just walks up to someone,touches them, and they go stark raving psycho?" Dean asked.

"Those demons that got out at the gate – they're gonna do all kinds of things we haven't seen." Bobby reminded him.

"You mean the demons we let out." Sam sighed.

"Sam don't do that. It wasn't your fault. Jake pushed that thing in, not me, not you, Jake." I said giving him a stare down, he finally nodded and I turned back around to see a redheaded man getting out of his car and walking towards the building.

"Guys." I called getting everyone's attention.

"All right. Showtime." Dean called as we watched him walk inside.

"Wait a minute." Bobby said.

"What?"

"What'd I just say? We don't know what to expect out of this guy. We should tail him till we know for sure."

"Oh, so he kills someone and we just sit here with our junk in our hands?" Dean asked.

"We're no good dead! And we're not gonna make a move until we know what the score is."

"Hey, Bobby? I don't think that's an option." Sam said shyly.

"Why not?" Bobby asked irritated. Sam nodded back towards the bar and we all looked up to see Isaac and Tamara walking inside.

"Fuck." I said throwing my hands in the air and sighing. "They're fixing to be on my bad side."

"Well, lets get to it." Dean called getting out of the car, we carefully approached the door and Dean held up a finger for us to listen first. We did… there was arguing, shouting, then Tamara screamed violently.

"Dean. We gotta go in"

"Alright, everyone back to the car now!" We all jogged back to the car, Dean pulled as much holy water as he could out of the trunk and nodded to us before slamming on the gas and throwing the car through the side of the building. We jumped out and began to fling holy water on the several demons in the room.

Tamara was screaming for Isaac, who laid dead in the floor, Sam pulled her away and shoved her towards the car.

"Emily! Lets go!" He called over to me. I turned to run back to the car but a man grabbed my wrist. I went to swing but something in me stopped. I relaxed my hand and stared into his eyes… they were… I don't know. Black, but more than that. They were shades of red deep inside the black. He leaned forward and whispered something to me, but I couldn't understand the words. I was too focused on his eyes. He let me go with an evil smirk and ran. I quickly shook my head.

"Emily! Now!" Bobby yelled.

"Dean! Dean lets go!" Sam yelled as well, I ran for the car.

"Dean! Come on!" I yelled, seeing what he was doing. He's fighting dangerously. Acting like he's got nothing to lose.

He finally broke away from the fight and dived in the passenger window.

"Go go go go go go!" He yelled. Sam slammed it in reverse and I leaned forward over the seat and grabbed Dean's jacket to make sure he didn't fall out the window since half his body was flailing out of it. We rushed back to Tamara's, one black eyed bastard in tow in the trunk.

For some reason that made me angry… Tamara crying… made me angry. Being shoved in the backseat. Everything just made me angry. Dean's wreckless fighting. Sam's careful driving. Geez I just want to punch someone!

We finally made it back to Tamara's and I practically ran from the crowded car. I beat everyone else inside and soaked in the momentary silence. The boys quickly filed in behind me with the demon and tied him up, next were Tamara and Bobby. Tamara screaming about something.

" ... And I say we're going back – now!" She yelled.

"Just hold on a second!" Sam yelled back at her.

"I left my husband bloody on the floor!" She said angrily.

"Okay, I understand that, but we can't go back."

"Fine. Then you stay. But I'm heading back to that bar."

"Good riddance." I said with an eye roll, Sam tapped my shoulder and shot me a disapproving look. I flipped him off.

"I'll go with her." Dean said stepping up.

"Oh of course you fucking will! Cause that's only the worst fucking decision you could make right now. Sounds like a Dean Winchester move to me!" I yelled.

"Emily! Knock it off… It's suicide, Dean!" Sam said.

"So what? I'm dead already!" Dean yelled back.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I said pushing around Sam and going toe to toe with Dean. "You're gonna throw away your year over some dumb bitch and her cocky husband?!" I yelled. The room around us began to rumble, everything on the tables and shelves shook, things slowly falling off.

"Emily… calm down." Sam said from behind me but I ignored him.

"I mean do you want to get away from us that bad? Do you wanna die that bad?!" I yelled. I walked forward, and for every step I took, Dean took one back until I had him backed against the wall.

"Emily Anne!" Bobby yelled at me, I flipped my head to the side. "Outside! Now!" He screamed pointing towards the door. I huffed and turned, kicking the door open on my way out.

I walked towards the impala, but quickly sensed I wasn't alone out here… someone's watching me. Someone's close… too close. I carefully looked around.

"Show yourself." I demanded. Out of the shadow stepped the same man from the bar. The one with those eyes.

"Hello."

"What do you want?"

"Oh darling I have what I want… what is it that you want? What can I do for you?"

"Fuck off and die."

"Ouch, that hurts." He pretended to pout.

"I happen to know that you're feeling… a little angry. Maybe at a certain brother? One who made a deal with a certain devil?"

"What's it to ya?"

"Doesn't it just make you so mad… the way he abandoned you. The way he chose Sam over you. Does your blood boil at the thought of it?"

As he spoke I felt my body heating up. As if someone set fire to my veins. The wind around me picked up fiercely and blew my hair across my face. I kept my eyes glued to the man in front of me, never showing weakness, just like dear old dad taught me.

"Don't you wanna do something to make him feel the same pain you do? Does he not deserve to hurt in the way that you hurt?"

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

He gave me a coy grin.

(Dean's POV)

"Man. What crawled up her ass?" I asked as the door slammed shut behind Em. Bobby shook his head at me.

"You idjit."

"Can we go already?!" Tamara yelled.

"How you gonna kill 'em? Can't shoot 'em. You can't stab 'em. They're not just gonna wait in line to get exorcised!" Sam told her.

"I don't care!"

"We don't even know how many of them there are!"

" Yeah, we do. There's seven. Do you have any idea who we're up against?" Bobby said angrily.

"No. Who?" I asked.

"The seven deadly sins, live and in the flesh!"

Ha… seven. I gave a grin and looked up to Bobby.

"What's in the box?" I pretended to yell. There was an awkward silence as no one got my movie reference. "Brad Pitt? …Se7en? No?" No one seemed amused. I quickly coughed and looked away. Bobby tossed me a book. "What's this?"

"Binsfeld's Classification of Demons. In 1589, Binsfeld ID'd the seven sins – not just as human vices but as actual devils."

"The family – they were touched by Sloth. And the shopper..." Sam said.

"That's Envy's doing – the customer we got in the next room. I couldn't suss it out at first, until Isaac. He was touched with an awful Gluttony."

"I don't give a rat's ass if they're the Three Stooges or the Four Tops! I'm gonna slaughter every last one of them!" Tamara yelled with tears in her eyes. I felt bad for her. She's just in pain… she wants revenge. Revenge is something I know all too well of.

"We already did it your way. You burst in there half-cocked and look what happened! These demons haven't been topside in half a millennium! We're talking medieval, Dark Ages! We've never faced anything close to this! So we are gonna take a breath..." Bobby paused before shouting loudly. "And figure out what our next move is!"

Damn there's a lot of yelling going on in this house tonight…

"I am sorry for your loss." Bobby said to her quietly after their intense stare down. Tamara grew even more emotional and left the room.

"Well… after you." I said to Sam pointing to the room where the demon is being held.

"So you know who I am, huh?" Envy chuckled from the chair he was bound to.

"We do. We're not impressed." Bobby sighed.

"Why are you here? What are you after?" Sam asked him. The demon gave him no answer.

"He asked you a question. What do you want?" I said kicking the corner of his chair. He chuckled at me condescendingly so I opened up my flask and splashed him with holy water. He cried out in pain, I grinned.

"We already have…" he panted. "What we want."

"What's that?"

"We're out. We're free. Thanks to you, my kind are everywhere. I am legion, for we are many. So me, I'm just celebrating. Having a little fun."

"Fun?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Fun. See, some people crochet. Others golf. Me? I like to see people's insides ... on their outside."

"I'm gonna put you down like a dog." Tamara said to him coming into the room.

"Please." He laughed. "You really think you're better than me? Which one of you can cast the first stone, huh? What about you, Dean? You're practically a, a walking billboard of gluttony and lust. And Tamara. All that wrath. Oohh. It's the reason you and Isaac became hunters in the first place, isn't it? It's so much easier to ... drink in the rage than to face what really happened all those years ago. But really… the most fun one has already been claimed." He grinned viciously.

"What the hell does that mean?" I asked him.

"Tamara over there, she's got some anger issues. Its powerful… but sweet little baby Winchester. She's feeding off of pain. Writhing in guilt. And my the FEAR rolling off of her, you can smell it like perfume. She's the perfect specimen."

"For what?!" Sam asked angrily. I can see him and Bobby growing nervous. I feel this sickening… pull. In my gut. Somethings wrong.

"For becoming one of us. She practically fell into wrath's hands. Agreed to drive away into the sunset. He didn't even have to beg. He's never wanted something so bad in his life." He laughed after seeing me go pale in the face.

"You son of a bitch!" I said dousing him with more holy water.

"Sam! Go find her!" I yelled. He and Bobby ran outside.

"Tamara, send this bastard back to hell." I said. I watched his cocky grin turn into a face full of terror.

"My pleasure" She smiled as she read off the words, I ran outside to meet Bobby and Sam.

"Emily!" Sam yelled. "Emily! Where are you!"

"Sam! Where the hell is she?!"

"I don't know Dean!"

"Okay… calm down and think for a minute. Wrath has her, if he's wanting to use her. He hasn't killed her. Not yet anyways. So right now, we stick to the plan… they're coming here. For us. For their little friend in there. I'll bet you anything, they're gonna use her as a bargaining ticket. We wait here until she comes to us." Bobby demanded, seeing the need to get her back in mine and Sam's eyes.

"Bobby… they have Emily. We can't just stand here. We don't know what the hell they're doing to her! She's there with Lust, wrath, I mean… God knows what they're capable of!" Sam yelled.

"He's right Bobby. We can't just stand here and wait!" I demanded.

"We can! And we will! End of discussion." He yelled in my face.

"Dammit!" I yelled stalking back to the house… I've gotta get her back.

"Dean. Do you really think she went willingly?" Sam asked catching up to me.

"I don't know man… You saw her when we got back… I think wrath must've touched her at the bar. She's not thinking man, she's under some kinda spell or something."

"Dean what the hell are we gonna do?"

"We're gonna get her back." I told him determined.

4 hours.

4 long quiet hours we've been waiting for them to come back. Its just after sunrise now… we've been up all night. Weapons are prepped. Traps set in the house. We're just waiting for the ambush now.

"Dean. We're seriously outnumbered here." Sam sighed.

"Yep." I agreed. "And if they've got Emily on their side, there's no telling what she's capable of."

"Yeah. Don't remind me." He laughed dryly.

"Dean, do you think Dad knew she would be in danger like this? I mean. You heard Envy, he made it out to be like the demons are intrigued by her, they want her. What if they're not the only demons who want her."

"Then we deal with it Sam. Emily would never work with demons in her right mind. This is like an exception, she's just… not thinking clearly."

"She's gotta face all this shit. Letting her walk around trying to pretend she's fine. That's what made her pop on their radar. She's gotta get under control."

"You know she talked to me a little last night…"

"Oh yeah?" Sam asked surprised.

"Yeah man, surprised me too."

"What'd she say?"

"She said she feels like she's being asked to choose between us. That by being happy you're alive, or upset that I'm dying. She's picking a side. That she feels guilty."

"Man, where does she come up with that shit? We would never think that." Sam said shaking his head.

"I don't know man, I don't try to understand the inner workings of the mind of chicks. That's your department."

Sam rolled his eyes at me.

There was the sound of something being knocked over outside the window.

"Sounds like the party is here." I said standing, we joined Tamara and Bobby in the main room.

I looked at the wrecked emotional Tamara with the shotgun in her hand, I stepped forward and tapped her shoulder. She turned to look at me curiously.

"Don't shoot my sister." I warned, she stared at me for a moment before nodding.

I heard footsteps walk up to the door, then calm knocking.

"Its me. Open up." Emily's voice called from the other side.

I looked at Bobby nervously, he contemplated and then nodded. Tamara pulled open the door and Emily stood on the steps, smiling.

"Emily, are you okay?" Sam asked walking towards her.

"Who me? I'm great." She said with a careless shrug.

"You know I got in that car with the intent of killing him… killing them all, but the more he talked. I just… wanted to hear his side. Hear what it was he really wanted. His plans. Honestly I was bored at first. But then he said something that caught my attention."

"What was that?" Bobby asked her.

"He asked me why I deserved to feel the way I did… what had I done? Then I realized. Its not me who deserves this…" Her smile slowly fell and she narrowed her eyes on me. "Its you."

Before I knew what was happening all the glass on the shelves around us burst, causing us all to jump. Emily stepped into the doorway and broke the salt line, leaving us exposed.

"I shouldn't be the one in pain… I shouldn't be the one having nightmares about hellhounds!" She screamed walking towards me.

"Emily! Stop!" Bobby yelled, with the flick of her hand he flew against the wall, Tamara rushed to his side.

"I made them promise… they won't come in here, not without my say so. And I say this is between you and me." She said walking towards me.

"Emily, don't make me hurt you. Please babygirl… snap out of this. This demon's in your head! He's just using you! Playing you for his own benefit!"

"Why do you want to leave me?!" She screamed. The windows on the house shattered.

"Emily please, listen to me." Sam said stepping in front of her. "This isn't you. This is them, this is what THEY want. This isn't what you want… please. You've got to stop!"

"No!" She yelled and threw him out from in front of her. Leaving only her and I.

"Fine! You want to hurt me so bad then do it! C'mon! I don't think you've got it in you! You gonna kill your own brother?"

"Maybe I will!" She screamed with tears running down her cheeks. She lifted her hand and I was thrown against the wall behind me, she had me pinned, getting closer, ever step she took tightened the feeling around my throat.

"Emily! Don't do this!" I heard Sam Yell. But she was focused only on me.

"Emily… Please." I strained to get the words past my mouth. "I.. I-I love you."

My vision began to blur, but I could swear I saw something in her face falter. I saw my Emily.

Without warning I was dropped to the ground, dizzy and groggy. I saw dark figures flood in the doorway and fighting broke out. But the only thing I could try and focus on was Emily, on her hands and knees, standing over me crying.

"I'm sorry! Dean I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm so sorry!" She sobbed.

"Emily…" I whispered. "Demons.. Sam." My blurry vision focused only for a second, she turned her body and stood.

"Stop!" She yelled, when she raised her hands the people in the room all began to fall to their knees. Holding their heads in pain, but I could feel nothing. As if she was shielding me from it.

My vision began to clear and I felt the strength to get to my feet return to me. I stood shakily and looked around the room, every demon. They all laid on the floor, motionless. Sam, Bobby and Tamara stood in awe. Looking between the bodies on the floor and Emily. She stood in the center of the room, shaking like a leaf, I could tell from behind that she was crying still. She slowly turned to face me, blood dripping from her nose. She reached up to touch it, then she looked at me. Eyes full of fear, confusion.

"Dean?" She whispered.

I rushed to her and grabbed the closes thing resembling a rag, holding it to her face as she fell to pieces in my arms. "Shh.. shhh. Its okay. Its okay its over babygirl… its over." I shushed her. I met eyes with Sam who was staring at the door as if he'd seen a ghost. He turned to me and shook his head. I looked over to Bobby and Tamara. I think we were all unsure of what happens next. All that matters is this girl in my arms the sasquatch in the corner, and the old man by the front door. As long as they're all alive, we're gonna be okay. We're okay.

(Emily's POV)

Well… Dean's not the only person who's fucked up now.

I killed them… all of them. The demons were smoked back to hell, but the vessels, the meat suits. They're all dead. Because of me. Dean carried me out of the room, cleaned me up, without a word. Sam were Bobby and Tamara dragged the bodies out. Getting them ready to salt and burn, Tamara built a separate place for Isaac's body. They had possessed him as well.

Although I'm not sure you can call what I was possessed. The actions, the thoughts, the feelings. They were mine… just intensified by 100. I was angry at Dean, angry that I was in pain and he wasn't. That he would leave me, all of it. But never in a million years would I have wanted to hurt him. Or Sam and Bobby… but I succeeded in doing all 3. I almost killed my brother, I almost killed the man who raised me.

What the hell is wrong with me.

I told Sam and Dean I wanted to be alone, so I'm sitting in the impala. I can't bear to look at anyone right now. I know what they're all thinking. I could see it on their face. They were afraid of me…

(Sam's POV)

"Well Boys… I think this has left me with more questions than answers." Bobby said walking up to Dean and I.

"Yeah, well, if you want a troubling question, I got one for you." I said with a chipper tone.

"What's that?" Dean asked.

"If we let out the seven deadly sins, what else did we let out?"

There was a long pause between us all.

"You're right. That is troubling." Dean finally answered. Bobby nodded.

"Keep your eyes peeled for omens. I'll do the same." Bobby said turning towards the car.

"You got it."

"Wait, Bobby. We can win this war. Right?" I asked causing him to stop and turn, he didn't answer me.

"Catch you on the next one." He said before leaving.

Well… That was comforting.

"So, where to?" Dean asked me.

"Uh, I don't know. I was thinking Louisiana maybe."

"Little early for Mardi Gras, isn't it? Although Em does love Cajun food. Could cheer her up a little."

"Yeah. Listen, I was talking to Tamara, and she mentioned this hoodoo priestess outside of Shreveport that might be able to help us out. You know, with your – with your demon deal."

"Nah." Dean shook his head nonchalantly.

"Nah? What does that mean,nah?" I asked confused. I figured he'd jump at this.

"Sam, no hoodoo spell's gonna break this deal, all right? It's a goose chase."

"Yeah, but we don't know that, Dean—"

"Yes, we do. Forget it. She can't help." Dean cut me off.

"Look, it's worth—"

"We're not going, and that's that! What about Reno, huh?" He said turning to walk away, I grabbed his arm and forced him to face me.

"You know what? I've had it. I've been bending over backwards trying to be nice to you, and ... I don't care anymore. Emily isn't the only one still angry about all this."

"That didn't last long." He mumbled.

"Yeah, well, you know what? I've been busting my ass trying to keep you alive, me and Emily both Dean, and you act like you couldn't care less. What, you got some kind of death wish or something?"

"No, it's not like that."

"Then what's it like, Dean?"

"Sam—"

"No. Please, tell me." I insisted.

"We trap the crossroads demon, trick it, try to welch our way out of the deal in any way? You die. Okay? You die. Those are the terms. There's no way out of it. If you try to find a way, so help me god, I'm gonna stop you. Emily too."

"How could you make that deal, Dean?" I asked angrily.

"Cause I couldn't live with you dead. Couldn't do it."

"So, what, now I live and you die?"

"That's the general idea, yeah."

"Yeah, well, you're a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? 'Cause I was there. I remember. You were twisted, and broken. And now you go and do the same thing. To me. You've thrown Emily's whole life down the drain. What you did was selfish!"

"Yeah, you're right. It was selfish. But I'm okay with that."

"Well I'm not."

"Tough. After everything I've done for this family, I think I'm entitled… Truth is, I'm tired, Sam. I don't know, it's like there's a, a light at the end of the tunnel. And I hate that I'm leaving you and Em. I really do. I hate to leave her. But I had no other choice."

"That light… It's hellfire, Dean."

"Whatever. You're alive, I feel good – for the first time in a long time. I got a year to live, Sam. I'd like to make the most of it. I'd like to help Emily get through this while I still can. So what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell, huh?"

"You're unbelievable. If Emily felt like she was forced to choose before she's definitely gonna feel that way now Dean… she's been buried in books, trying to find a way out."

"This is true… but. We'll figure it out."

"How?"

"I don't know… but we gotta start somewhere. I think we all should sit down and talk. Its time to throw it all out there. Emily, Me, You… all of us. Everyone needs to be in the know."

"Yeah. Well. Let's just check on Em for now. I'm sure she's beating herself up right now."

"Yeah. Unfortunately."

(Emily's POV)

The boys made their way into the impala. I climbed to sit between them in the front seat. I leaned into Sam and he held me close, I dozed off and the boys woke me up once we reached the motel. I went in, showered, and came out to find both of them at the table, waiting for me. This can't be good.

"Em, I think we need to talk." Sam said softly. I nodded. I owe them that after all the shit I pulled today…

I sat down and half smiled as Dean pushed a glass of whiskey towards me.

"Moved up from rootbeer have we?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I think we could all use a stiff drink today." Dean smiled.

"Yeah. I think you're right about that." I said as I sipped, savoring the way it burned on the way down.

"Em, do you wanna tell us what happened today?" Sam asked.

"I umm… I don't really know what happened. I. I'm so sorry." My voice cracked on the words.

"No, kiddo. Its okay… this isn't about us getting on to you for what happened. That's not what this is. We're not mad, I'm not mad at you. I love you, and I'm worried about you. We both are. We just want you to tell us what's rattling around in that head of yours." Dean said reaching forward and holding both of my hands in one of his. I looked up to him and nodded.

"At the bar, that man… he grabbed me, and it was like. He hypnotized me or something. It was his eyes… they were black, but they weren't. I don't know how to explain it. He whispered something to me, but I couldn't even hear it. I was so focused on his eyes. And then he let go. I was… so angry. At everything, everyone. Every little thing was an outrage."

"Yeah. We caught onto that." Dean sighed.

"After Bobby sent me outside… he was there. He just… I don't know. The more he talked, it was like he put me under a spell. Every word sank in like instructions. When he asked me to come with him, I didn't even hesitate. I really did want to kill him, all of them… purely for the fact that I just wanted to hurt someone. But. I don't know. He kept talking, and the more he did, the more I wanted to do what he wanted."

"How did you snap out of it?" Sam asked. I paused and looked up to Dean.

"I realized what I was doing… that I was killing you. I just… snapped out of it." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Dean. I… I'm so sorry." I cried. "I would never want to hurt you. Ever."

"Kiddo I know that… I knew it wasn't you. It just wasn't. Its okay. But… I need to know if you honestly feel like I did what I did to get away from you."

I looked away and sighed.

"C'mon Em. This doesn't work if we're not all honest with each other." Sam pushed.

"I mean it crossed my mind… I know it doesn't make sense. I'm sure its just me being insecure."

"Damn right it is. Because that could not be farther from the truth. I want you to hear me loud and clear." He moved his chair closer to mine. "I made the decision I did, to get Sam back, for both of us… I couldn't stand the thought of you or me living without him. I admit it… I didn't fully take in the consequences of leaving you and Sammy. And I hate that part of this. I do. More than anything… but I would never trade what I did, because nothing beats having you and Sammy alive and breathing."

I nodded my head, biting back the tears.

"Okay. Next order of business… you've gotta stop trying to save me."

"Wait what?" I said looking between Sam and Dean. Sam looked frustrated.

"When I made the deal, the demon made it clear that if anyone tries poking it with a stick, Sammy dies."

"…How could you not tell us that?!" I asked angrily.

"I am telling you, and I'm dead serious when I say it. You have to stop."

"So what do am I supposed to do? Stand by and let this happen?" I asked confused.

"That's exactly what you do… or Sam dies."

"Dean… stop. That's not fair. Because I'm still going to at least explore options. Don't scare her out of helping me like that. Its not right."

"Sam, don't you get it?! You could DIE!"

"So could you Dean!" Sam screamed back.

"Stop! Please… I. I can't take anymore yelling today." I said slamming my hand on the table. They both looked at me. "Please… just. Revisit this later."

"Fine." Dean and Sam sighed at the same time.

"…What are we gonna do about my… abilities." I asked barely above a whisper, looking down at the whiskey again.

"Well, we know they're tied to your emotions. I think we can safely say that it's a bad idea for you to bite those back. If you're upset. Tell us, if you're mad. Say so… cause honestly Em. Until we learn more about controlling it. Our best shot is to keep you calm."

"…And the people I killed? What do we do about that? They had families Sam. They had people who loved them, and I killed them."

"No, Emily… Demons killed them. Demons destroy human hosts. Those people were probably dead from the get go. Do not lay that on your conscious. You saved us, Me, Sam, Bobby… we were outnumbered and outgunned. We could have all died if you hadn't done what you did. So don't let that eat at you."

"Dean. I'm dangerous."

"No you're not. Your scared, and its okay to be scared. This is new for all of us… none of us really know what to do here."

"So what then? We walk around and hope I don't kill someone else?"

"Emily stop… we're gonna help you every step of the way with this. Okay? You're not alone. We won't let you face this alone. We will figure it out, and we will learn to handle it." Sam said confidently.

"Can we go to bed now?" I asked sniffling.

"Umm, you go ahead kiddo. I think me and Sam are gonna talk awhile more." Dean said hesitantly.

"About what?" I asked confused. Dean looked up to me and he didn't have to even say the words… He's gonna tell him.

"Oh." I breathed.

"We can wait till you're asleep kiddo. That way you don't have to be part of this, I can tell him." Dean assured me. I stared at him for a minute. He was watching me carefully, assessing my reaction. I told him weeks ago that I was okay with telling Sam. I had totally forgot about it all.

"No… Um. Its okay." I looked to Sam. "You told me I could wait until I was ready to for you to know…"

I took a deep breath and downed the rest of my whiskey.

"I'm ready."

PS: I just finished this and have to get to bed because I have work at 6am so I didn't proofread the last half of this… I hope its okay and doesn't run together too much, but I work the next 3 days in a row and didn't want you guys to have to wait that long for the next chapter! Let me know if there is something that needs to be fixed and I apologize if its sloppy at all! Love you guys! Please review and tell me what you think!


	43. Chapter 43

Author's Note: Okay guys! I know this chapter isn't super long, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging any longer and I did say I was gonna add some original chapters.….. DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Emily- also there may be some graphic content in this chapter, if you're squeamish then I apologize in advance. Please feel free to skip parts of this chapter.

"When Emily was 12… about a year or so after you left. Her, Dad and I were working a job in Nebraska. Dad thought he had a lead and left me and Em alone for the night."

Hearing Dean's voice… knowing where this is going. Sends chills down my spine. It feels like razors. Threatening to cut open the wounds again. To allow me to remember… to feel it. The fear. I quickly refilled my glass with the dark whiskey. Dean looked over to me with pity. I nodded, pushing him to continue. I think its better if he starts this off.

"We got in this big fight…" he continued.

 ***FLASHBACK***

 **(Emily's POV)**

"You know if you weren't such a whiny brat all the dam time then maybe Dad would take us with him more often, I can't believe I got stuck babysitting again while he gets all the action."

"Yeah well maybe if you weren't such an ass kisser then Dad would ask you to come along. I'm 12. I can babysit myself!"

"HEY! Watch your mouth!"

"Screw you!"

"I swear, if you don't drop the attitude then I'm gonna pull this car over and leave you on the side of the road here in BFE!"

"Good! Maybe the monster will come find me!" I screamed back, tears building in my eyes. I wish Sam was here… Sam never got mad when he had to stay behind with me. Sam never blamed it on me… I miss him so much.

"Oh shut up, No monster would want to eat you. It'd spit you back out and drop you off at our doorstep."

My eyes stung, I felt so ashamed. He's right… no one would want me. Sam left me… Dad leaves me behind all the time. Dean used to… but now I'm just his burden. My pain and anger mixed and I reached for the door knob, opening it as Dean drove down the road.

"Whoa! Hey! What the hell are you doing?!" He asked slamming on the breaks and reaching over, closing the door I just opened.

"Let me out!" I screamed going to open it again, he brought the car to a complete stop.

"Fine! You want out, then go. Get yourself eaten by a fricken monster!"

I stared at him… is he seriously going to leave me out here in the middle of the night alone?!

"I said get out!" He screamed. I turned and opened the door, when I stood I reached for my gun in the glove box, I glared at Dean as I slammed the door shut and watched as he peeled out and drove away. The red taillights faded in the distance and I realized I was truly alone. I burst into tears. I pulled out my phone and dialed the one person who I really truly wanted. Sam.

It rang, again and again. Then straight to voicemail. I tried twice more before giving up. I remembered we were about 20 minutes outside of town, that was driving distance. So I should be able to walk back within a couple of hours, I pulled up my hood, tucked my gun in my jacket pocket and started walking.

 ***PRESENT TIME***

"I never should have left her there." Dean said looking down and swallowing the lump in his throat, easing it down with the same whiskey I was.

"Dean. You didn't know what was gonna happen…" I whispered.

"It doesn't matter kiddo. What I did was wrong. I was angry, and took it out on you… I should never have left you alone. Period.

"So what happened after that?" Sam asked, getting us back to the story.

"Well. I took off to a bar. Typical me. Booze and women as a cure all." Dean said taking another drink.

"And I started walking back to town…" I mused. "It took an hour or two… but I made it back to the motel. Dean was gone still. And I didn't have a key. When I went to the front desk there was no one there to give me an extra… so I sat outside the door."

I paused. Afraid of remembering what comes next. Dean reached up and brushed some hair behind my ear.

"Its okay." He whispered.

"I was only there for maybe ten minutes when a woman a few doors down came out of her room. She saw me sitting there crying and walked over to me. She was older, long white/grey hair. Very hippy. She just… seemed so nice."

 ***FLASHBACK***

 **(Emily's POV)**

"Whats wrong hunny?" She asked as she knelt in front of me. I looked to her in confusion.

"I'm sorry, its none of my business. I just hate to see such a pretty young thing crying… don't tell me this is over a silly boy." She cooed.

"No. Um… I got in a fight with my brother. He should be back soon though." I smiled slightly.

"Oh you poor thing, I can't let you sit out here… its freezing. Why don't you come wait for him in my room."

"Oh I can't intrude like that." I said shyly looking down.

"Nonsense! I insist, come on dear, lets get you some hot chocolate."

I smiled warmly at the kind woman and followed her into her motel room, but I left a small note on our door for Dean that I would be in room 16 when he got back.

When I walked into her room I was mesmerized, It was filled with shiny trinkets and burning incense. This lady is definitely a hippy. But kind as they come. I sat down in the small chair at the table while she walked over with two hot mugs.

"Thank you." I smiled as she placed one in front of me. I took a sip and sighed.

"This is the best hot chocolate I've ever had." I laughed. She laughed in return.

"Yes well, I do happen to know a trick or two. So what brings you and your brother to town?"

"Our family travels for work. We're just passing through."

"Oh I see."

I took another long sip of the warm sweet delicious chocolate.

"What about you?" I asked.

"Well I was waiting for you dear." She smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry?" I asked her confused before taking another drink.

"I've been waiting for you Emily. Looking for you."

Suddenly my vision began to blur in and out. I blinked to try and clear it, but it only made things fuzzier. It sounded as if I was in a tunnel.

"I don't feel good." I mumbled.

"Don't worry dear, it'll kick in soon and then you can rest." She said walking over to me and lifting my cup back to my mouth, pouring the hot chocolate in.

"Who… who are you." I asked groggily.

"Less of a who… more of a what my dear."

My heart thudded in my chest, I suddenly realized I was being drugged.

"D.. Dean." I mumbled before blackness overtook me.

 ***PRESENT TIME***

I reached up and wiped a tear off my cheek before looking at Sam, he looked so sad. Concerned. Then I looked to Dean. Whose face was filled with guilt and disgust. He knew this part of the story well… it was what was coming up then I never fully shared with him. He knew a lot of it… but even he didn't know it all. I wasn't able to get the words past my mouth at the time. Afraid that I'd realize it was all another trick and wake up back in chains.

"Emily are you sure you can handle this right now?" Sam asked me.

"I'd be lying if I said yes… but I think this whole conversation is kind of overdue. I mean, my life has fallen apart in front of my eyes… might as well dredge this up too."

"Kiddo I can take it from here if you need me to." Dean offered. I quickly looked away from him.

"No… you can't. Because you don't actually know all of it. No one does… but maybe its time they do. It makes a little more sense now. After finding out about yellow eyes and stuff."

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"Just… tell the story Dean. We'll get to it when we get to it." I said taking another drink.

He stared at me with confusion.

"You've kept something like this to yourself all this time?"

"Dean. Just… tell me what happened next." Sam asked. Dean kept his eyes on me as he talked. I refused to look up and meet them.

"I hung out with the bar until I was thoroughly drunk… I was talking to this hot little red head. Had it in the bag, but my phone kept ringing. I finally looked at it and noticed it was Dad. So I stepped outside and answered.

 ***FLASHBACK***

 **(Dean's POV)**

"Hello?"

"Dean, where are you?"

"Um, I'm in town, why? You need a hand?" I asked excitedly.

"No. Job's finished. I'm at the motel… where are you and Emily?"

"Um. I uh.. I'm at the bar."

"And your sister?" He asked angrily.

"…I. I'm sorry Dad." Knowing that I was busted and he'd be pissed. I had drank so much I had kinda forgot that I left her. I figured she'd be back at the motel by now. "I'll go find her."

"Go find her?! Where the hell is she?!"

"We… we got in a fight a few miles from the hotel, she said she wanted to walk back."

"You left your sister on the side of the road. Get your ass to the motel. NOW!" He yelled before hanging up.

"Son of a bitch." I cursed before walking out to the impala and driving back to the motel. I parked next to dad's truck and braced myself for what was to come. I stepped inside and found the room to be empty.

"Dad?" I called out… no reply. There was a small piece of paper on the table. I picked it up, it read:

"Hey Dean, got locked out, be in room 16 when you get back… I'm sorry. –Em"

I sighed and walked towards room 16, the door was open, and there stood my father.

"Where's Em?" I asked noticing she wasn't in here. Dad turned and threw a bag at me.

"What the hell is this?"

"A hex bag." He said angrily… shit. My stomach dropped. Oh no. No… please. No.

"Dad… I-I-"

He slammed me against the wall.

"What the hell happened!" He screamed. "Tell me you didn't leave her alone!"

"Dad… I. I'm so sorry." I felt guilt overcome me. This is all my fault. I never should have left her alone… she's only 12! I just. She had the gun, and we weren't far from the motel. I just… I was so angry.

"You stupid ass! What were you thinking?! She's gone Dean! Gone!" He yelled slamming me again.

"I'm sorry dad, I messed up." I said biting back tears.

"You're damn right you did. Now help me find something useful to get your sister back!"

 ***PRESENT TIME***

"It took 11 days… we couldn't hardly get a lead on where they went. But once dad has one, he was like a beast. He saw nothing but red. He tore me a new one at least once a day. For 11 days I wondered if I was gonna find her… or just her body. If she suffered." Dean explained, choking slightly on the words.

"How could you not have called and told me about that Dean? I could have helped." Sam said angrily.

"I wanted to man, I did. But… Dad wouldn't let me. He said it would just worry you and you'd be one more thing he'd have in his way."

"Screw dad Dean! YOU as my brother… as her brother. Should have called me and told me. I mean. You left a twelve year old on the side of the road!"

I watched Dean's face struggle with the guilt. I'd recognize that look anywhere… because for weeks after they found me. Every time he looked at me his face was painted in guilt. I hated it. I hated it then and I hate it still now.

"Sam stop." I said softly. "Please."

He looked over to me, like this was tearing his heart out. He looked so helpless. I took his hand and squeezed it.

"Its not his fault Sam. She was coming for me. She wasn't going to stop. She was already at the motel, she knew where we were staying. She would've just killed him to get to me."

"Emily… what did she do to you?" Sam asked. I nervously looked between him and Dean. Dean silently nodded at me. Encouraging me to continue.

"When I woke up… I was in chains. It was dark. It was cold… the concrete was wet. My ankles and hands were all separately chained, but they all connected back to the wall. It had a small window, it was too high for me to see out of, but it provided a little bit of light during the day. Although… it felt like weeks. Its weird ya know. How time passes differently?" I tried to laugh, but… it didn't really come out like one.

"She would sometimes bring me food. And uh… I would. I would be so hungry. I would start eating, and… the food. I would look down and it wouldn't be food anymore. It would body parts…" I shuddered. "The water… it would be red, and think. It would taste like copper. I would heave over and over again, trying to convince myself I didn't eat… it." I struggled to form the thoughts, let alone the words. "After I finished puking everything back up. It would turn into food and water again… so I just stopped eating and drinking."

"Every time I closed my eyes, I'd wake up somewhere else… I'd be away from her, away from place. I'd be with Dean and Daddy again. Sometimes I'd wake up and be with you again too, like we were visiting Stanford. I would convince myself that she was a nightmare. And just when I would believe it… she'd brutally kill you. All of you, and as I screamed I'd realize I was still in that room, chained to the wall. Over and over again… I'd think I got away. But I never did."

I stood from the table and turned away from my brothers. I can't face them right now… I wrapped my arms around myself and kept talking.

"At night… when it was dark. So dark you can't see the hand in front of your face… I would move, and I'd bump into bodies. I couldn't see them, but I could feel them… they were dismembered and sticky. Covered in blood. I'd scream for hours and hours. But the bodies would multiply, and I couldn't get away from them… and then at all once they'd vanish and the room would be empty again."

The room was eerily silent. I could tell they were picturing it… thinking about it. But no matter what they pictured, it would never do it justice. The blood… so much blood. The bodies were destroyed… in pieces. I watched her tear my brothers and my father apart piece by bloody fucking piece over and over again. She was evil in the worst of ways. She hardly laid a finger on me, but she mind fucked me again and again and again. Until I didn't know if up was really up, for all I know it was down and across the hall.

"Emily… you need to keep going." Dean said carefully. Knowing that I still hadn't gotten to the best part. I felt a small sob work its way up my throat, my shoulders shook slightly and I shook my head back and forth. Dean sighed. He stood and walked over to me, when he moved to place a hand on my shoulder I pulled away.

"Don't."

"Emily… I know this is hard, but you are this far into it. You gotta get this all out there kiddo."

I held myself tightly, feeling sobs overcome me. I took a deep breath and slowly turned to face Sam, who also had tears in his eyes.

"She… uh. She put this… this spell on me. Or something. And uh… every time she, or anyone. Touched me. It was like fire. Like acid eating away at me. It wasn't real. But it felt real… I-I didn't let Dad or Dean touch me for days after they found me… Sh-she would come in and trail her fingers across me, just to watch me suffer."

For 11 days, she tortured me.

Blood. Dismembered bodies. Pain. Watching my family die again and again… not just die. But be brutally torn to shreds.

"What else happened Em… what didn't you tell me before?" Dean asked.

"Um.. she told me something… and it never made any sense until recently. So I never even thought to mention it."

 ***FLASHBACK***

 **(Emily's POV)**

I heard the door open… my heart pounded in my chest. It only opens when she comes in. Footsteps are coming closer. I try to keep my breathing steady to appear that I am asleep.

"Hello my darling… Wakey wakey!" She walked over and let her hand brush hair away from my face, searing my cheek.

"Ahh!" I cried out.

"Well there you are… come on now. We've got things to do… he's going to want you thoroughly scared by the time he gets here.

"Please stop! You don't have to do this… please." I cried. In response she grabs my wrist, it's searing hot pain. The smell of burning flesh fills my nose.

"Okay! Okay… just please let me go!"

She released my arm with a giggle… imitating a school girl's voice.

"What do you want from me?" I cried.

"Oh dear… its not what I want… its what he wants. He wants you damaged. He says the best way to ensure you'll be worth it later is to prepare you early… he wants you scared my dear. And that. Is my expertise."

She smiled at me before continuing with another round of torture. Burning, cutting… and leaving me whole at the end to start again tomorrow.

 ***PRESENT TIME***

"Yellow eyes." Sam said catching on. "She was working for yellow eyes…"

I nodded.

"At least that's what makes sense to me… ya know. He. He knew somehow I'd have these abilities. And that they'd be tied into my emotions, He wanted me to be a mess. Well… he got his wish."

"Em I can't… I can't even imagine." Sam said.

"Yeah… well. Shit happens right?" I said wiping my face. Dean said back down at the table and poured himself and I more whiskey. I sat back at the table and downed it, sliding it over for another refill. He obliged. Knowing that the best way to get past this night, is to be just a little numb to it all.

"What happened to the witch?"

"Dad and I found Emily locked in a basement of this old warehouse… the witch wasn't there at the time. But we knew she wouldn't be far away. So we decided to break Em out and come back for the witch later."

 ***FLASHBACK***

 **(Dean's POV)**

"You think she's in there?" I asked Dad as we approached another large empty brick building. We had been searching them all day… but something about this one. It felt different. It looked wrong from the outside. Like something horrible had once happened there.

"I don't Dean. Lets go." Dad said checking his mag, I did the same and followed. We broke in through a window around the back, it was empty… lots of concrete. Some old trash and old metal racks. Like it used to be a storage place. We approached a large brown door that had a very heavy padlock on it.

"Well someone doesn't want us getting in." I mused. Dad nodded before shooting the lock loose, I kicked in the door in and we carefully descended the stairs. It was a large open basement, candle lit, there were several things hanging from the ceiling, hoodoo stuff. There were altars set up around the room. This has got to be it.

"Emily!" Dad called out. "Emily! Babygirl are you here?"

We checked every corner of the large basement… nothing. Dammit. I wonder if she knew we were coming. I felt that same fear and disappointment creep up on me. The same way it did every time we've checked a place and came up empty handed. That guilt that's gripped my gut twists again and again. I got her killed… she's dead. Because of me.

"Dean." Dad called, snapping me out of my wallowing. He was standing against the brick wall at the back of the room.

"There's a window on the back of the building, it leads into the basement."

"Yeah so?" I asked confused.

"Well we're in the basement… do you see a window?"

I looked around, there wasn't one… meaning there's a hidden room in here somewhere. We began tearing at things, looking for it, after several seconds, we found it, hidden behind a shelf was a large wooden door, locked as well. We busted the lock and pushed it open.

"Emily." Dad breathed with relief. My eyes shot into the room, there against the wall was my Emily. She was chained to the wall, laying there motionless, until Dad got near her.

"No!" She screamed and cried as he reached out to grab her. She reared back away from him, smothering herself against the wall.

"Please make it stop!" She cried. She held the arm that dad had reached out and touched as if it was on fire.

"Emily babygirl its me… its daddy." He tried to calm her.

"Noo.. no its not. Please stop this… don't kill them anymore." She sobbed.

"Hey kiddo." I said stepping forward, swallowing down the lump in my throat. I got closer and saw the bruises. The dirt, where the heavy chains had bit into her skin. She was thinner, she had this… lifeless, look in her eyes.

"Please… just kill me. Just kill me." She whispered as she cried. I leaned forward and reached out to her and she jumped back again screaming. Begging us not to touch her. It broke me in half to see her like this… this is all my fault. Whatever happened to her is on me, what did that woman do to her?!

"Emily baby listen to me. Its Me, okay… Its Dean. Its real." I softly spoke to her. She just continued to cry.

"Shhh… Come on babygirl. Its me."

"Dean, go find some blankets, she's not gonna let us touch her for now." Dad called. I didn't want to stop though, I just. I wanted her to come to me, I wanted to cradle her like she was little again. I wanted to hold her and never let her go again. I just… I wanted my Emily to come back to me.

"Dean! Go find them, now… before the witch comes back."

I did as he said, he cut the chains free of the walls, knowing she wouldn't let us cut them off of her just yet.

"Shh, come on babygirl, I won't touch you." Dad cooed as he wrapped her in the blankets. She was hesitant but allowed it as long as he didn't make skin to skin contact.

"Daddy… I wanna leave." She cried.

"We are babygirl, we're gonna leave, okay?"

She nodded and Dad motioned for me to pick her up, he grabbed his gun and made sure we had a clear path to the car.

"Dad I think she needs a hospital." I said as I watched her shallow breathing. She was weak, small. I was afraid at any moment she'd stop breathing.

"No, we can't… they try and touch her and she'll lose it. They'll lock her up. We'll be investigated. We've gotta handle this ourselves."

"So where are we going?"

"I know a guy who's got a cabin not far from here, we can bunker down until she's okay again."

I gently laid her in the backseat and we took off.

When we got to the cabin we waited for her to fall asleep to cut the chains, she slept for a day straight… she was exhausted. I stayed at the bed, day and night, Dad or I was awake.

"Dad. What about the witch?"

"I'll go back for her once I know Emily is okay."

"Let me do it." I told him. "Let me go right now and end this bitch… please. I messed this up. Let me make it right."

Dad started at me for a minute before walking over to his bag and handing me a weapon. He gave it to me with a nod.

*PRESENT TIME*

"I went back, staked the place out… waited for her to walk in and find the place ransacked, then I killed her. I strangled her with my bare hands, watch the life leave her eyes, and then I burned her. She's dead."

I took a deep breath and sighed.

"I told you kiddo, I'd never let her hurt you again."

"I know." I whispered. Thinking back to when I woke up in that cabin… with my Daddy. How patient and kind he had been in the days to come, allowing me to work through things at my own pace. Eventually I was able to touch them again, allow them to touch me without fear of pain. One day Dean picked me up out of the bed from one of my many nightmares, he held me while I cried and told him and Daddy what had happened during those 9 days.

Dean, he was like a hawk. He hovered, everything I even though I needed, he already was up getting for me. Every time I thought about it, he could see it on my face and would be there to remind me that she's gone. Its over.

I remember he told me over and over and over how sorry he was… how he'd never leave me again. How he'd always protect me. I'm sure our relationship seems odd to some people, but Dean raised me. Dean rescued me. He was the one person I've always had there, he's never left me again.

Until now.

I bowed my head to hide the tears, letting my head lean against my palms. But my shaking shoulders gave it away.

"Em… talk to us." Sam said reaching over and rubbing his hand soothingly down my back. I shook my head back and forth. I couldn't push my mouth to form words right now. I felt the whiskey taking its effects, making me sloppy and tired. I laid my head on the table. It was cool and felt nice against my warm face.

"Kiddo, this doesn't work if you don't talk to us. We've gotta get you into that habit now." Dean pushed.

I stood up and walked over, sitting on his knee like when I was little, he quickly wrapped me in strong arms and I buried my face against the crook in his neck. Letting my tears soak his shirt.

"C'mon babygirl… what is it?" He asked as he sat me up to look at my face, wiping my tears away.

"De… you promised me that night." I hiccupped."That you'd never leave me again." I cried.

"I know kiddo… I know." He said sadly, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

"You lied."


	44. Chapter 44

Author's Note: Okay! So Em's secret is out, here comes the backlash! Thank you all so much for your reviews and for keeping up with Em's story! We've got a lot left to go and I'm excited to see where we'll get in this season! There's lots of bumps in the road soon to come, and some new characters, maybe an old one as well! Please let me know what you think! Love you guys!

(Dean's POV)

"Go away Dean!" Em yelled from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Kiddo c'mon… just open the damn door." I sighed and pressed my forehead against the wooden door.

"No. GO AWAY!"

I could tell she was still short of breath.

"Dean… maybe I should try." Sam said sitting on the foot of his bed.

"Sam I think I can handle this. I've been doing it for years ya know."

"I get that Dean. That's not what mean. What I mean is that for two weeks now, the nightmares are back, and not once has she WANTED you to help."

I knew he was right, so I faced away from him. Rather than letting him see the way the words stung me.

"I'm sorry. Okay? I know this is hard on you too. But she's just trying to figure this out on her own."

"Well she's doing a pretty shitty job of it."

"Yeah, well. She's doing the best she can." Sam shot back.

"I'm still here… I can still help her." I reminded him.

"Dean. You can't help her if she doesn't want your help. I'm sorry man, you just can't."

"Whatever. I'm going for a drink."

"Dean. Its 1 in the morning. Is that really the best idea right now?"

"Yes. It is." I growled before slamming the door behind me.

(Emily's POV)

*Knock Knock*

"Em. He's gone… open the door." Sam's voice said calmly.

I stayed silent and closed my eyes. Breathing in as deep as I could. Letting the hot water that surrounded me make me feel safe. I'm sure I look ridiculous. Clothed. Sitting in a bathtub full of water. But it helps… so far it's the only thing that helps. Its like… it surrounds me. Brings me back to the here and now. Reminds me this is all real, that the nightmares are just that. Nightmares.

That night I fell asleep and had the beginning of a series of terrifying horrible nightmares. Dean got me through the first few… and one night it really struck me hard that he wouldn't be here to do that much longer.

"Emily. I'm just gonna pick the lock." Sam warned. I didn't reply. If he wants in… he'll get in. I listened attentively as the door knob clicked repeatedly. One loud click, and it began to open. Sam stepped in. Sighed, and then sat down on the floor next to the tub, leaning his back against the wall.

"You keep this up and you're not gonna have any dry clothes to wear."

"Then I'll just wear yours." I mumbled back trying to smile, he chuckled.

"Em, how much longer are you gonna do this? I mean… you're killing him kiddo. Let him help."

"No." I said quickly.

"Em."

"No. Sam… My whole life I have relied on you and especially on Dean to fix everything for me. It was wrong. It's wrong to depend on someone so much that you're life becomes crippled without them. I need to learn to do this on my own."

"How many times do I have to tell you this… I'm not gonna let him die. I WILL find a way to get him out of this."

"So I can watch you die again?" I said not meeting his eyes.

"No. You're not losing me either. I promise. You're not losing another damn person. Okay? Please… let me get you outta here and lets go to bed. Start over tomorrow. I could really use your help. I found some books that may have some information-"

"Sam I can't." I whispered. "I can't lose you again."

But I can't lose Dean either. I feel so torn. So twisted.

"You won't Emily. I promise. Please… trust me."

"… will you bring me my bag please?"

"Yeah, sure thing kiddo."

Sam stood up and laid my bag in the bathroom floor. I pulled the drain on the tub and waited for it to drain. I stood, changed out of my wet clothes and hung them over the rail to dry… then I walked out to find Sam holding a cup of hot chocolate.

"Here, it'll warm you up. Water had to be getting cold."

"Thanks."

I sat cross legged against the headboard and sipped at the hot chocolate as Sam checked the salt lines at the doors and windows and went to lay down in the bed across from me.

"Where did he go?" I whispered.

"To get a drink."

"I'm sorry."

"Emily. Its not your fault. He's struggling with all this too. And ultimately he made the decision he made and he knew there would be consequences."

"Yeah… goodnight Sam." I set the half empty mug down on the nightstand and turned off the lamp. Curling up against the pillows. I slept until the sound of the door opening stirred me. I recognized Dean's footsteps entering the room. I shut my eyes, hoping that if he thought I was asleep he wouldn't say anything. He stumbled around and kicked off his boots. Then he moved to lay in the bed. I remained still. He sighed in the dark and then I felt him roll over, to face me.

"I'm sorry kiddo… I'm so sorry."

I bit the inside of my cheek hard as I could to keep from letting a tear fall. I waited until soft snores filled the silence, then I moved to turn over and fell back asleep. Waiting for another nightmare to claim me.

"Dean… she's okay." Sam's voice stirred me awake.

"Are you sure? Cause she's still asleep…" Dean asked concerned.

"No one can sleep through your bickering." I mumbled with my eyes still closed.

"Hey kiddo, pancakes?" Dean offered. I opened my eyes and he was grinning and holding up a Styrofoam box. No matter how stubborn I can be… chocolate chip pancakes deserve my love.

"Its too cold outside the covers." I whined. "Just feed them to me."

Dean and Sam both chuckled.

"C'mon Em… lets get up." Sam said walking over and pulling the covers off of me. I fought him for them, but his strength overcame mine easily. Damn sasquatch arms.

I sat up and stretched as the cold air hit my legs. I walked over to the table where Dean had my food and drink set up for me… he's definitely kissing ass. I feel guilty, but at the same time I don't. He's fucked up. He knows it too.

"I got you the good syrup." He said tossing me a couple packets of good ole maple syrup. None of that fruity shit. I smiled at him. I could already see on his face he wanted to ask me something.

"Soo…"

"Yes?" I answered with eyebrows raised.

"Are you gonna talk to me about what happened last night?"

"De. It was just a nightmare. You already know what it's about… They'll go away eventually. Just like they did the first time."

"Yeah but you didn't lock yourself in the bathroom sitting in a tub of water fully dressed every night last time." I looked up to him, no response found its way to my lips. He's right. But saying anything else would just make this worse. "Emily. I'm still here. I'll still be here for months-"

"11 months and 2 days." I whispered cutting him off. He hung his head and sighed deeply. Sam sat down across from me, nudging me under the table so I'd look up to him. When we met eyes I knew what he wanted to say without him opening his mouth. He's telling me he's not gonna let that happen. Silently asking me for help.

"C'mon Em… you keep this up and you're not gonna have any clothes left to wear."

"Sam already said I could wear his." I said with a smirk. Sam scoffed and went back to eating his breakfast. Well… he didn't say I couldn't.

"I'm serious kiddo. Sam and I are both still here. Let us help. You don't have to work through all this alone."

"Yeah." I said taking the last bite of my pancakes, my appetite satisfied. I downed my water bottle and stood.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked.

"To get ready." I answered in a duh tone before grabbing a towel and my bag and going into the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and turned up my music. Sia's voice fills the bathroom as I turn on the water. I showered, dried off, and dressed. When I began to dig into my make-up bag I came across a small black bottle.

I hesitantly picked it up and shook it, hearing the pills rattling around. The therapist's words sailed through my mind.

" _What happens if you have one while Dean isn't there?"_

"… _you should be realistic and expect that Dean cannot be with you every step of the way the rest of your life…"_

"… _You need to learn to lean a little less on him.."_

Then I remembered what he said about the pills.

" _I think this could help you take that first step. It won't be a permanent prescription. But I think that it would help you take that push to rely more on yourself and not so much on your brother."_

I shook the bottle until a few of them landed in my hand. They were small. White. Round. How could something so small help me? I shook my head and poured them back in the bottle. I continued to get ready and stashed everything back in my bag.

"Where's Dean?" I asked stepping out and realizing he was gone again.

"He's gonna meet us later. Said he had to look into something."

"Oh okay… So what are we doing till then?"

"Well… I could really use your help." Sam said handing a book towards me. I read the title of it and shook my head.

"Sam. What if Dean's right. What if this gets you killed. I can't pick and choose between the two of you. I won't."

"Emily you don't have to! I'm begging you… help me. Please Em. Please… theres so much stuff to go through, It'll cut the time in half if you'll help me. I promise. You're not gonna lose me again Em."

"Sammy… I don't know about all of this."

"Well. Then at least come into town with me. I'm gonna go sit at a diner down the road, Dean said he'd meet us there when he finished."

"Fine, lets go." I sighed.

When we got to the diner Sam ordered food again just to be polite since we were taking up a table, I nit picked at it, not really hungry either, we literally JUST ate. I instead sipped on my rootbeer, contemplating if helping Sam would be actually betraying him, or if he could be right? Is there hope for Dean… I'm too afraid to tell myself yes. Too afraid to get any hope.

Hope hurts. Not when you have it… but when you lose it. Its hard to let go of. I'm not sure I'm ready to attach myself to that kind of risk right now. I already feel like I'm losing so much. I'm not sure I can stand losing anything else right now.

Sam flipped out his phone and called Bobby… they began to converse about the information Sam was digging through. I half listened, half looked over what he had laid out on the table.

"What do you mean you don't think it will work, Bobby? It's a demon-dispelling ritual… Well, maybe we got the translation wrong." Sam said just as Dean walked by and tapped on the window in front of our table before walking through the door. "Look, we can't just let Dean fry in hell while we- ... Well, there's got to be something that w—" Sam stopped when he saw Dean approaching quickly. "Oh, ah, yeah, no, ah, I I gotta go. Uh. Okay. Never mind." Sam quickly slammed the phone shut as I scooted over for Dean to sit next to me.

"Hey. Who was that?" He asked.

"Ah, I was just ordering pizza." Sam replied too quickly… Dean looked at him puzzled and then around us.

"Dude, you do realize that you're in a restaurant?"

"Umm. I uh, bitched about eating diner food again and he caved and called me in some pizza." I quickly said covering for Sam. He looked at me thankfully as Dean eyed me curiously. But I know Dean won't question me right now… he's afraid to do anything else to set me off.

"O-kay, Weirdy Mcweirderton. So, I think I got something." He said pulling out the newspaper.

"Yeah?" Sam asked.

"Cicero, Indiana. Falls on his own power saw. " Dean said pointing to a local story.

"And? What, that's it? One power saw?" I asked curiously. We would never chase something so simple.

"Well... yeah."

"And you think that this is a case?" Sam asked.

"Well, I don't know. Could be." Dean replied.

"I don't know, Dean. I –" Sam started.

"All right, there's something better ... better in Cicero than just a case."

"And that is?" I asked already knowing where this was gonna go… it must be a chick.

"Lisa Braeden."

Knew it.

"Should I even ask?" Sam sighed.

"Remember that road trip I took, uh... gosh, about eight years ago now? You two were in Orlando with Dad wrapping up that banshee thing."

"Yeah… I remember you ditched me and Dad refused to take me and Sam to Disney World while we were there. I was pissed at you." I answered.

"Yeah. Yeah, the five states, five-day –" Thing Sam said rolling his eyes at me.

"Yeah. Well, kind of. Although I spent most of my time in Lisa Braeden's loft." Dean said smiling to himself. Ew.

"So let me get this straight. You want – you want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick?" Sam asked. Yeah! You tell em Sammy. I looked at Dean accusingly.

"She was a yoga teacher. It was the bendiest weekend of my life. Come on. Have a heart, huh? It's my dying wish."

I dropped my jaw and scoffed at his choice of words. I turned and pulled my attention to watch people walk down the sidewalk instead of participating in this conversation anymore.

He's not even worried about going to hell. Here I sit… torn apart. And he's just thinking about who he wants to fuck before he dies. Un-fucking-believable.

"Yeah, well, how many dying wishes are you gonna get?" Sam replied.

"As many as I can squeeze out. Come on. Smile, Sam! God knows I'm gonna be smiling after 24 hours with Gumby girl." Dean chuckled. "Gumby girl."

Then he suddenly frowned.

"Does that make me Pokey?" He asked seriously. I scoffed again and pushed him to signal I wanted out of the booth. I walked out the door and went to sit in the car. Waiting for the boys to gather their stuff so we could go to the motel and pack up.

7 hours later we were pulling up to Lisa Braeden's house in Cicero. Dean climbed out of the impala and said he'd snatch a ride back so we could have the car. He leaned down into the window and grinned.

"Don't wait up for me kids." He said with a wide grin. Gross De.

I rolled my eyes, still frustrated by the whole situation. Sam rolled his eyes too, but it was much more playful then mine. Dean hopped up the steps and Sam went to start the car.

"Wait… Can I drive?" I asked him with hopeful eyes. Normally he would say no, but with my recent state of emotions he didn't hesitate to say yes. I smiled at him and he smiled back as he tossed me the keys and I slid over to the drivers seat. I adjusted so I could reach the pedals and Sam settled before I punched the gas and peeled away from the house. I momentarily caught a worried glance from Dean in the rearview mirror before he left my sight.

"Whoa! Slow it down kiddo." Sam warned, but the feeling of the car's power was enticing. I pulled out onto the main road and really opened her up since there wasn't much traffic. I watched in my peripheral vision as Sam gripped the dash and the back of the seat and acted like we were bracing for impact.

So dramatic.

"Emily come on! Slow down." Sam warned. I only pushed the pedal down further. Gripping the wheel as we accelerated. I don't know why it felt so wrong. SO angry… but SO powerful.

"Emily! STOP!" Sam yelled. I finally slammed the breaks and we came to a screeching halt in the middle of the road. My breaths were deep and my heart was racing. I don't remember feeling that powerful the last time I drove a car. I gripped the wheel again and released it.

"Emily… Just. Lets just get out of the car for a minute." Sam said cautiously. I looked at him puzzled.

That's when I realized the keys were still in my hand.

I never put them in the ignition… the car was never actually on…

It was all me. I did it… without even knowing it.

"Oh god… Sam… I-I. I don't know what happened." I dropped the keys as my hands began to tremble.

"Its okay. We're okay Em. Its okay." He said quickly trying to calm me down before I became hysterical. The trembling moved from my hands up my arms and I shook down to my core. Freaking the FUCK out.

"Sam… what did I do?!" I asked suddenly turning to him.

"Nothing sweetheart, its okay. You're okay. C'mon lets just get out for a minute okay?" His voice was calm but his eyes betrayed him. He was afraid. Afraid of me.

He reached out for me, but I pulled back and got out of the car quickly. Leaving the keys in the seat.

"Emily wait!" Sam called getting out as well. I began to pace back and forth behind the car.

"Sam… what did I do?! What if I hurt Baby?! What if I broke her… De-Dean's gonna be mad. He's gonna hate me… Sam I didn't mean too!" I said quickly.

"Shhh.. Its okay. I know. I know. Just stop moving! Take a breath. We're okay. The car's okay. I'll drive us back to the motel okay?"

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and hesitantly nodded, letting Sam pull an arm around me and walk me back into the car. We didn't speak again until we were back. The car seemed to run okay, but there was an odd noise coming from the engine. I dreaded explaining this to Dean. He was gonna be so mad. I never should've asked to drive.

"Emily. Its okay. You didn't mean to." Sam said watching me stare out the window at the car parked in front of our room.

"But I still did it Sam."

"Please. Don't let this get you all worked up. Just forget about it. Dean's not gonna be mad… he'll understand. You're under a lot of stress right now kiddo… and I'm sorry if me pressuring you to help me was part of it."

"No. Sam. Its not… I just. I just don't want to lose you again…. But I don't wanna lose him either."

"Then help me Em. I promise. You're not gonna lose me. But if you don't help me… we might both lose Dean."

I stared at him for a minute before nodding in agreeance.

We spent the next couple of hours digging through books. My heart nearly stopped as the door flew open and Dean walked through it. I stood nervously. Frozen.

"Dude, there is a job here." Dean said walking straight to the fridge for a beer.

"Really?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. You know that one freak accident we read about in the paper? Turns out there's four more that never even made the paper, all in this ... Morning Hill gated community. People falling off of ladders and drowning in their Jacuzzis all over the neighborhood."

"That is weird." Sam said scratching the back of his neck, know that Dean was not going to react so great to the news about Baby. But at least he seems to be in a good mood.

"Yeah, something's up. Something these nice, big gates can't protect them from." Dean said taking a swig and turning back towards Sam and I. He stopped and looked between us noticing my stance.

"..Okay what's going on here?"

"Look Dean. Its not big deal… everyone's okay. Even the car-"

"The car?! What happened to baby?!" Dean said freaking out.

"I-I-I didn't… " I tried to speak but instead ran for the bathroom and hid behind the locked door.

"Sam what the hell happened?!" Dean asked a little louder, I pressed my ear against the crack between the door and the wall and listened intently.

"Look dude, calm down or you're gonna get her upset all over again. I just got her calmed down."

"Calmed down from what?" Dean asked a little quieter, but his voice still strained.

"Look man, I don't really know what happened… she. She wanted to drive, and I said yes… and before she even got the keys in the ignition the thing took off, and she just pushed it to go faster and faster. But she stopped… she's okay. Just freaked out. Worried you're gonna be pissed."

"That depends… is my car okay?"

"It drove us back to the motel, seems to be some kind of noise coming from under the hood, but It runs. Dean. Please don't make a big deal out of this. She's already freaked."

"Dammit Sammy. Is she okay? Did she get hurt?"

"No. Dean. She's just… scared. It freaked her out. She didn't even realize she was doing it."

I heard footsteps approach the door. I quickly scrambled away from it.

"Emily, Open the door." Dean commanded sternly. I couldn't move.

"Emily! C'mon kiddo open the door…" She shook the handle angrily.

"Dean knock it off." Sam sighed.

"No! She can't hide from me for a year. Emily open the door now!"

"Dean getting pissed at her isn't gonna help anything!"

"I'm not pissed! I just need to make sure she's okay…. C'mon Em open the damn door."

I shakily took two steps towards the door and my hand reached out for it. I clicked the lock and then stepped back from the door. Dean didn't waste a second ripping the door open and barging in, he took my face in his hands and examined me for injuries like he does after a hunt gets crazy. I just stood there and let him.

"What happened." He asked me levelly.

"I-I… I don't know." I whispered shakily. Feeling my eyes sting. I pulled away from him and took in a large breath, I'm sick of crying. I'm not gonna do it again. Not now. Not in front of Dean.

"Emily. This stuff is tied to your emotions. Tell me what happened."

"I. I was mad at you." I whispered looking down at the ugly pale tiles on the floor.

"Why?" He asked confused. I sighed and looked up to him.

"Because you couldn't care less that you're dying. The only thing you cared about was getting laid as much as you could before hell hounds come after you." I snapped. Dean straightened up and took a deep breath before looking back at me.

"Kiddo that's not true. Okay. I care. I just… I've accepted it. It is what it is, and I'm not gonna spend the rest of my time moping about it. And I don't want you to either."

"Yeah well people in hell want ice water…. Give it some time, and you'll understand." I said shoving past him.

"Emily stop. We can't spend the next 11 months battling each other, hiding from me. Is that really what you wanna do with the time I have left?"

"NO! Its not. But I wanted more than 11 months to figure it all out!" I yelled angrily, feeling the sting come back in the corners of my eyes.

"Well I'm sorry sweetheart but that's all we've got!" He yelled back.

"Just go fix your precious car." I sneered turning to storm out the door.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going!"

"Somewhere away from you!" I yelled slamming the door behind me and walking down the sidewalk.

He's such a fucking ass sometimes. He can't expect me to just be okay with all this shit!

I walked around for about an hour. Just to be alone. To feel productive. To process. When I approached the motel again I could see Dean working on the impala, hood up. I took a deep breath and approached him.

"You can't expect me to be okay with all this like you are." I said coming up behind him. He stopped and turned to look at me, wiping his hands on a rag. "I am scared. I am angry at you… and as much as I love you sometimes I just can't be around you. And you can't be mad at me for that! Just because you don't care doesn't mean I don't still care." I finished.

"Sweetheart. Just because I've accepted this doesn't mean I don't care. Doesn't mean I'm just okay with it all… I just know that I had no other choice. I made that decision and I've accepted its consequences. I don't expect you to do the same right now, okay? I don't… but I do expect you to talk to me. To stop hiding from me. You're entire life you've never hidden anything from me… please don't start now."

"… Is baby okay?"

"She's fine. You burned through a couple belts but I got em replaced. Damn kiddo. You musta been pissed… those belts should've lasted another few years before they wore down. You burned right through em."

"I'm sorry." I whispered looking down at the ground. I never meant to hurt baby. I love that stupid car as much as Dean does.

"Em. Don't be sorry… just talk to me." Dean pleaded. I stepped forward and let him hug me.

"So whats with this case? I thought you were there to see that girl."

"Lisa? Yeah… I did. At her kids birthday party. Total mood killer by the way. But uh, while I was there she was telling me about all the crap going on in the neighborhood."

"So you think this is a real case?"

"Yeah. I do… I think something weirds going on in that neighborhood."

"So how old is her little boy."

"…8."

"As in… 8 years ago you fucked her and now she has an 8 year old? That kind of 8?"

"No. NO. Of course not." Dean said rapidly.

"… are you sure?"

"I mean she told me no."

"Mmhmm… I think I need to lay eyes on this kid for myself De."

"Oh shut up. C'mon. Pizza and bed… baby's back on her feet for now." Dean said swinging an arm over me and pulling me inside.

The next day we split. This time I went with Dean and we scoped out the neighborhood park while Sam went to check out the vic's houses. Pretending to be an insurance agent or something I'm sure.

We were walking around watching for anything strange when I noticed a kid sitting on a bench all alone.

"Poor kid." I mumbled. Dean looked over and tapped my shoulder.

"Hey that's Lisa's kid Ben. C'mon." He said approaching the bench. I stood back a bit and watched.

"Hey, Ben." Dean said sitting next to him.

"Hey. You were at my party." Ben replied.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm Dean. This is my sister Emily." He said turning back and pointing to me. I smiled and waved at Ben.

"Everything okay? Something wrong?" Dean asked him… he didn't answer, Dean looked down noticing the empty black case in his hands, one that would fit something like a game-boy. I looked up and noticed a group of boys playing on one in the field. I tapped Dean and pointed. He looked out and nodded.

"Is that your game they're playing with?" Dean asked him.

"Ryan Humphrey borrowed it, and now he won't give it back." Ben explained.

"Well, you want me to go—"

"No! Don't go over there! Only bitches send a grown-up." I had to stifle a laugh. I dig this kid already. Dean shot me an amused look before agreeing.

"You're not wrong."

"And I am not a bitch." Ben told him.

"Is that Humphrey? The one that needs to lay off the burgers?"

Ben nodded and smiled.

"Hm." Dean mused, then he leaned down and whispered to Ben, the kid looked up to him surprised but excited. Then he jumped up and walked towards the boys. I sat next to Dean.

"Should I be worried?" I asked.

"Nahh. Just teaching him to stand up for himself. Something every kid should know."

"Suuure." I laughed. We watched as Ben walked over to the group of boys and began to talk to them. The conversation didn't seem to be going in Ben's favor. Poor baby. I wanted to get up and rip that game out of tubby's hands and give it to Ben, but that would only make things worse. I slumped my shoulders as a sad Ben turned away from the boys and looked like he was going to give up. But then he suddenly turned around and slammed his foot into the kid's balls.

"Oh! Shit!" I mumbled excitedly to Dean, who smiled.

Ben came running back up to us, game in hand, leaving the boy crying in the grass. He grinned and his eyes were glued to Dean's. I looked up and recognized that proud look on his face. Part of me wanted this to be Dean's kid… I mean. There is a slight resemblance. And the attitude is all Dean for sure.

"Thanks. Dude, that was awesome!" Ben said when he reached Dean, he held his hand out for a high five and Dean obliged laughing.

"Benjamin. Isaac. Braeden! What's gotten into you?" An angry woman called form behind us, I assume to be Lisa. She's hot.

"Uh ohhh…" I mumbled.

"He stole my game." Ben told her.

"So you kick him? Since when is—" She paused and looked to Dean. "Did you tell my son to beat up that kid?"

"What? Somebody had to teach him how to kick the bully in the nads." Dean replied. I lightly tapped the back of his head. That could have been worded better so that he didn't look like such an ass to Lisa.

"Who asked you to teach him anything?" Lisa responded angrily, pulling Ben towards her.

"Just relax."

"What are you even still doing here? We had one weekend together a million years ago. You don't know me. And you have no business with my son."

"Lisa." Dean stood and called as she began to walk off dragging Ben along.

"Just leave us alone." She turned and said, but Ben pulled out of her grasp and ran towards Dean, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist. Dean hugged him back.

"Ben!"

"Thanks." Ben mumbled to Dean before running back to Lisa. I sighed and Dean turned to me and shrugged his shoulders.

"Sorry De…" I noticed he was no looking at me. I followed his eyes to 3 children in the field that were staring at us creepily. Not moving. Not talking. Not playing. Just staring…

"Um. De. We should go."

"Yeah. Yeah. C'mon Em." Dean reached out a hand and pulled me off the bench. His eyes never left those kids till they were out of sight.

We got in the car and began to drive back to the motel to meet with Sammy.

"Emily. I want you to know something."

"Dean… don't."

"No. I'm serious. I want you to know I'm proud of you… And whatever this thing with your abilities is. You're gonna beat it. With or without me. You're strong enough to handle it. I promise. I raised you, I watched you for years. There's not a damn thing in this world that can beat you unless you let it."

"Dean. Stop."

"No. I want you to know that. And I'm not giving some goodbye speech here like you think I am. I'm telling you this now because I know you're scared. I know you're having a hard time. But I also know beyond a shadow of a doubt. You're gonna kick this thing in the ass. So stop letting it beat you up."

"I'll try." I said pushing a fake smile onto my face. I leaned against his arm and cranked the radio. Singing along to ACDC until we pulled in. Sam had dinner on the table. Chinese. Yummy.

"Something's wrong with the kids in this town." Dean announced as I sat down and munched on a spring roll.

"Yeah. Tell me about it… So, what do you know about changelings?" Sam asked.

"Evil monster babies?" I asked with my mouth full.

"No, not necessarily babies."

"They're kids. Creepy, "stare at you like you're lunch" kids?" Dean asked. Realizing the kids in the park kinda fit that description.

"Yeah. There's one at every victim's house." Sam added. We finished our dinner while Dean gathered kerosene torches for us to use. Sam was still researching. Finding us the most reliable information.

"So, changelings can perfectly mimic children. According to lore, they climb in the window, snatch the kid. Y'know, there were marks on the windowsill at one of the kid's houses. Looked to me like blood." Sam explained.

"So what? The changeling grabs a kid, assumes its form, joins the happy fam just for kicks?" I asked confused.

"Not quite. Changelings feed on the mom: synovial fluid. The moms have these odd bruises on the back of their necks. Changelings can drain them for a few weeks before mom finally croaks."

"And then there's dad and the babysitter." Dean added.

"Yeah. Seems like anyone who gets between the changeling and its food source ends up dead."

"And fire's the only way to waste them?" I asked reaching for one of Dean's torches.

"Yup." They both said.

"Great. We'll just bust in, drag the kids out, torch them on the front lawn. That'ill play great with the neighbors. What about the real ones? What happens to them?" I asked.

"According to lore, they stash them underground somewhere. I don't know why, but if it's true, the real kids might be out there."

"We better start looking." Dean said seriously… then he looked puzzled for a second. "So, any kid in the neighborhood is vulnerable?"

I looked up suddenly realizing what it was he was thinking. Ben.

"Yep." Sam answered not even looking up.

"Dean. I'm sure he's okay. He was fine this afternoon." I whispered grabbing Dean's sleeve. He didn't seem convinced.

"We gotta make a stop. I want to check on someone." Dean suddenly said.

"Well Dean, if the real kids are still alive, we don't have time. We— "

"We have to." Dean cut him off and carried the torches to the car.

"Trust me Sam. You won't win this one. Let him check on the kid."

"What kid?"

"Lisa's kid."

"Ah. I see." Sam said finally catching on. We met Dean in the car and drove to Lisa's quickly.

Sam and I stayed in the car and I watched as Dean approached her front door and she opened it. They talked for only a minute before Lisa shut the door on him. Shit. That can't be good. He came rushing back to the car.

"They took Ben. He's changed." He said sternly.

"What?! Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I checked his windowsill."

"Blood?" Sam asked.

"I don't think it is blood, and I think I know where the kids are." Dean jumped in the drivers seat and drove us to the far side of the neighborhood, where houses were still being built we pulled up to one who's yard was completely made up of red dirt.

"Red dirt. That's what was on the window." Sam said catching on. Dean nodded and we all jumped out, guns and torches ready.

"Ah, you take the front. I'll go around. Em. Cover me."

I followed Dean to the back of the house. It was still under construction so it was incredibly easy to break into. I don't even think there was a lock on the front door for Sam to pick. Dean and I quietly made our way down to a large empty room full of cages… with children in them. We tapped on one with a little boy in it. Praying they were all still alive.

"Ben... Ben... it's okay. I'm gonna get you out of here, okay?" Dean said as Ben's face came apparent in Dean's flashlight. We went cage to cage trying to figure out how many kids were in here. I found there was one with a grown woman… I recognized her briefly from somewhere. WAIT! It's the real estate agent from the sign out front!

"Dean! Look… the mother."

"Dammit. Sammy."

"He's okay. C'mon we gotta get these kids outta here, now." I finally snapped the lock on one of the cages, Dean rushed to Ben's cage, breaking it open and Ben ran into Dean's arms. Dean hugged him tightly.

"Come on. Let's go." Dean said setting him down and rustling his hair. I smiled. Daddy would be such a good Dad. He was so good to me…

Dean and I begin to break open the rest of the cages, as we do. I noticed Ben going cage to cage helping the children out of them.

"It's okay. You're gonna get out of here, all right?" He told a frightened little girl.

"Hurry!" I told them, waving them over to us. We busted the last ones out and Dean moved us over to a window.

"Come on, girls! Come on! Keep moving, keep moving." Dean called. When we got to the window he pushed us all away. "Okay, everybody back! Everybody back!" He prepared to punch through the window and break it open.

"Cover your eyes!" I told the children.

"Here. Use this." Ben called out, Dean and I looked down, He was offering his jacket to Dean to wrap his hand in. Dean smiled at him and took it, breaking the window and knocking lose all the glass so no one would get cut.

"All right. All right, Ben. Come on. Come on." Dean moved to lift him through the window, but Ben moved back.

"Him first." He insisted. I smiled. I'm impressed. Sam came running in the room.

"Hey! Dean! There's a mother."

"Yeah. We know. The real estate agent." I told him pointing to the weak woman in the corner.

"Yeah. We got to get these kids out quick."

"I guess that's why the changelings are keeping the kids alive – so the mom can snack on them." I said helping kids through the window. Sam grabbed the woman and prepared to help her out the window when one of the little girls screamed, we all turned to see the mother changeling behind us.

The boys began to fight with her.

"Emily! Get Ben and the others out of here!"

"Dean be careful!" I called out as I pushed the last few children and Ben out the window. When I turned around she flung Dean against the wall. His torch went flying across the room. I lunged for it while she was distracted and sent her up in flames. She screamed, and I could have sworn there were echoing screams outside the house. I didn't let go of the torch till it ran out of gas. When it did. I dropped it and ran to help Dean and Sam off the floor.

"C'mon… Lets get these kids home."

We dropped the children off one at a time, Sam took the woman to her house as well, she refused a hospital and just asked to be taken home. We saved Ben for last, only because he insisted. He wanted to make sure everyone got home first. I sat in the back seat, my arm around his shoulders. I dig this kid.

I see a lot of Dean in him… But Lisa must have raised him well.

When we pulled up Lisa ran out the front door and Ben ran into her arms.

"Ben?! Ben! Baby, are you okay?" Lisa cried.

"I'm okay, Mom."

"Oh, my god." She cried. "What the hell just happened?" She asked looking up to Dean.

"I'll explain everything if you want me to, but, trust me, you probably don't. The important thing is, is that Ben's safe."

"Thank you." She hugged Dean. "Thank you."

I walked up.

"He's an amazing kid. Brave." I told her. She smiled at me.

"Sammy and I are gonna give ya'll some time. We'll be down at the park when you're ready De."

"Thanks kiddo." Dean smiled, walking Lisa and Ben back inside.

Sam and I drove to the park and sat on the same bench where I met Ben.

"Does that kid kinda remind you of Dean?" Sam asked me.

I laughed.

"Yeah. He does… Dean's really good with him."

"Dean was always good with kids. Even if he'll never admit it. It's because of you."

"What?" I asked confused.

"Em. Raising you… That's where he learned to be so good with kids. He was 10 already when you were born. He may not have done as much when you were a baby, but. The older you got, the older he got. The more Dad left you… and me. With him. He loved watching you grow up. He loved being the one you wanted to go to. He loved being the person that you trusted. Emily. When you were little. You once called him Daddy… I had never seen him cry until that day. Even when Mom died, he never let me see him cry. But that night… he cried."

I looked at Sam in awe.

"He was so… happy. He felt so loved by you, we both did. You were always the light in our shitty lives kiddo. You were happy all the time, you made him happy. As much as I tried to help raise you, the only time I really got to contribute is when he left on hunts with Dad. If Dean was there, he insisted on doing everything for you. Baths. Homework. Play time. When you cried… it broke his heart. He'd do anything to fix it. He would never admit it, but he would get jealous of Dad. When he'd come home from hunts you'd run to him and never leave his side. Dean was used to being the one you ran too."

"…Why are you telling me all this?" I asked quietly. Fighting back tears.

"Because I want you to know how much he loves you. Loves us. Its why he did what he did. And why it bothers him so much that you won't let him help you. Why it bothers him that you keep locking yourself away from him. I know its hard for you because you've relied on him your whole life… but I promise its just as hard for him, because he will always see you as HIS little girl. And he just can't understand why you keep shutting him out."

"Is any of that true, or are you just saying all of this to guilt trip me."

"Em I would never do this to guilt trip you. I know you're hurting. I just know he is too. We all are. I'm telling you this so you'll understand. Dean doesn't want to die. He doesn't want to leave you… he doesn't want to leave either of us, hurt us. And I know he's afraid of it, but we've gotta find a way to save him. You've got a lot of life left to live, and I'll be damned if we aren't both there to see it."

"Sammy… did it ever bother you?"

"What?"

"How close we always were. I never wanted you to feel like you were left out, and I was afraid that was why you left for Stanford."

"No of course not! Emily, I left for me. And I was okay with just playing big brother and letting Dean play Daddy. It was important to him, and he raised me too ya know. I was okay with just getting to grow up with you."

"I don't want it to be like I'm helping you save Dean because I'm choosing him over you… I would never do that. I love you both as equals and I'm so afraid you'll think I'm picking him."

"No, sweetheart…" Sam turned on the bench and made sure he had my full attention. "I would never do that to you. I promise. I would never put you in that position. I'm not going anywhere. I promise you. But I've got an ace up my sleeve right now, and I can't let Dean in on it yet. I just need to know that you're with me Em."

"Okay. I'll help you."


	45. Chapter 45

Author's Note: Hey guys… sorry it took so long to get this one up! Its been a busy week, I started back school and that on top of work kept me busy. I also ran into a little writer's block on where I wanted to go next with introducing some new characters. I hope you guys like this! Sorry for any mistakes… its long and I'm not proofreading before posting because its 1 am and I'm tired. But don't want to keep it from you all any longer! Please review and let me know what you guys think! I love you all so much! Thank you for your kind words and support! It means the world to me!

"Sam. Dean's never going to go for this… I mean. I'm barely with you." I whispered to him angrily.

"Look I know its not perfect, okay? Hell its not even good but… it's a chance. I mean we've found nothing so far. Can we really afford to turn her help away?"

I looked over to the blonde woman in the corner of the room. She was a bitch to be quite honest. She was staring at us, trying to listen in on our hushed conversation. When Sam said he had an ace up his sleeve I never dreamed it was a fucking demon. Demons are the reason we're in this mess so I'm not exactly jumping at the opportunity to work with one.

"What do you want in return?" I asked her.

"I have my reasons. Not all demons are the same, Emmy Lou. Not all of us want the same thing… Me, I just want to help you out from time to time. I think it could play in my favor."

"Don't call me that." I bit back at her.

"Em, please. Just… trust me and lets see how this one plays out."

"I don't trust her Sam."

"Big shocker there." Ruby said as she rolled her eyes.

"Why don't shut the fuck up and quit pressing your luck." I narrowed my eyes at her, Sam pulling me back by my arm.

"Bring it on princess." She smiled raising her knife and touching it to her cheek seductively.

"That pretty little knife won't save you from me and you know it." I snarled back. She hesitated.

"Look Sam. Call me when you're ready… leave the bitch behind next time." She called before walking out the door.

Sam sighed deeply before his eyes landed back on me.

"She's not gonna help us if we don't let her."

"Sam… I can't. I don't… Ugh! I finally agree to help you again, and you bring me to your secret demon meetings? I mean how many of these have you had?!"

"Just a few… she approached me. I didn't go looking for her."

"Well I'm pretty sure if she came looking for you its not for our benefit, its for hers. I mean what if she's just playing us?"

"Then let her! Hell. I don't care if she is playing me like a Gameboy right now. If it helps save Dean, and the three of us are alive in the end, then I don't care!"

"…Sammy… I'm scared." I whispered. "Demons got us in this mess. What happens if this backfires?"

"Which is exactly why I think we need a demon to get us out of it." He said back to me confidently, putting his hands on either side of my face.

"How do we tell Dean?"

"When he gets back from Lisa's we'll hit the road. He can't run away from us if he's driving the car."

"So what does she know?"

"I don't know… but she led me to some information about Mom."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean. After Mom died… so did EVERYONE she knew. Her friends, doctors, neighbors. Anyone that would have kept up with her. Dead. All in mysterious accidents that couldn't be explained or proven. House fires, car accidents, things like that."

"Why?" I asked horrified.

"I'm trying to find out… Ruby just said it had something to do with us."

"Great… more blood on our hands." I sighed.

"Em. Don't. Just because they're linked to us doesn't mean its our fault. Laying that stuff on your shoulders won't help anything. It'll just hurt you."

"Just for the record, YOU are the one telling him. Got it?"

He laughed, pulling a small smile out of me.

"Yeah, okay. Deal."

That night we waited for Dean to come back and load up the car, he was cheery, and I just knew this would ruin his good mood. But better to get it over with then to let this thing get dragged out. The longer we wait to tell him the angrier he'll be.

"Why are you so quiet back there?" Dean asked as he drove down the road, burrito in one hand and a steering wheel in the other.

"Nothing, just looking out the window."

"You haven't lifted your food to your mouth in five minutes. What could be so interesting in the dark on the side of the road?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes, taking a bite of my chicken burrito and chewing loudly to emphasize my sarcasm. He rolled his eyes and went back to driving. I met Sam's eyes in his rearview mirror out the window and shot him a pointed look. Better get this over with.

"Dean, I uh. I know you said we should stop looking for ways to help you. But I found something, something that might really help." Sam said hesitantly.

Dean finished his burrito silently and readjusted in his seat before turning to look at Sam.

"Why didn't you stop?"

"Because. I'm not going to stop. Not ever. I will find you a way out of this."

Dean rolled his eyes and shook his head before turning to look back at me.

"And you're still helping? Really? You wanna watch him die a second time?" Dean asked me.

Hurt spread over my face and I quickly looked away from him, wrapping up and setting aside my food. I had efficiently lost my appetite. I curled my knees up as Sam began talking.

"Dean stop! Don't do that to her! You know its not fair and its not gonna happen! Stop scaring her off form helping me save you, she's smart, she's fast and she's got good instincts. I need her help on this. So leave her alone!"

"Dammit Sam, why can't you just leave it be?! Both of you. I told you. Its done. There is nothing left to do!"

"Dean… would you just listen to me for five minutes without interrupting?"

"Fine. Fine… go ahead Einstein. Tell me your genius idea." Dean said waving his hand in the air dramatically.

"I met a girl, she saved my life the night with the deadly sins. When everything calmed down and we were moving bodies, one of them wasn't dead. It was just me, and it got the jump on me. She showed up and stabbed them with this… knife. I don't know how or why, but it killed the demon. Then she ran off. For the last week she's been following me and finally approached me. Her name is Ruby. She said she can help."

"Oh yeah? And how is that."

"She has… inside information. Or can get some at least."

"And how does she have access to more information that any of us? Than Bobby?!"

"Because… She's a demon."

BOOM!

I wish I had words to explain the look on Dean's face right now. He's furious. FURIOUS. Which I knew would happen. Which is why I INSISTED Sammy tell him instead of me.

"I'm sorry. Care to repeat that?" Dean asked him quietly. Sam huffed.

"Dean. Don't be so dramatic." Sam scalded.

"Dramatic?! You're working with a demon and I'm the one being dramatic?!"

"De… please." I sighed. He shot me a warning glare that convinced me to turn back to the window for the rest of the conversation.

"Dean be realistic here. We don't know much about how deals go down. We could use someone who does, someone who can get information directly from the source! She said she could help save you and I'm willing to try!"

"No. Absolutely not."

"Why not Dean?" Sam yelled angrily.

"Because Demon, that's why. I mean the second you find out this Ruby chick is a Demon you go for the holy water! You don't chat!"

"No one was chatting, Dean."

"More like fighting." I added when I evaluated our conversation. Sam and Dean both turned around and shot me the "shut up" look. I complied.

"Oh yeah? Then why didn't you send her ass back to Hell? Em? Got an answer for that one."

"Because –" I tried but was cut off.

"Because she said she might be able to help us out!" Sam yelled.

"How?" Sam had no reply. "No really, Sam, how? How could she possibly help us?"

"Dean please… She told us she could help you, Okay? That's all we know." I sighed.

"She said she could help you out of the crossroads deal." Sam added when Dean seemed to not be putting all the pieces together.

"What is wrong with you, huh? She's lying, you gotta know that, don't you? She knows what your weakness is – it's me. For both of you… What else did she say?"

Neither of us replied immediately. He looked between us expectantly.

"Nothing, OK?! Look I'm not an idiot Dean, I'm not talking about trusting her, I'm talking about using her. I mean we're at war, right? And we don't know jack about the enemy; we don't know where they are, we don't know what they're doing. I mean, hell, we don't know what they want. Now this Ruby girl knows more than we will ever find out on our own. Now yes, it's a risk, I know that, but we need to take it."

"And you agree?" Dean turned and asked me.

"Dean. If it can save you… I'll do it." I said feeling exhausted all of a sudden.

"You're okay right, I mean you're feeling okay?" He asked me.

"Yes… Dean. I'm fine. Why?"

He didn't answer, but Sam also turned around and looked at me in concern. A ringing phone thankfully pulled their attention away.

"It's not mine." Sam said holding up his phone, Dean reaches for his.

"Mine either? Em?"

"Nope. Check the glove compartment… It may be Daddy's."

"Dad's?" Sam asked confused.

"Yes, I keep it charged up in case any of his old contacts call." Dean said pointing at the glove compartment, Sam reached in and grabbed the ringing phone, answering it immediately.

"Hello? Yes... this is Edgar Cayce... No! No, no, no, don't – don't call the police, I'll handle this myself. Thanks. You know, can you just uh, can you just lock it back up for me? Great. Uhm, I- I uh, I don't have my - my book in front of me, do you- do you have the address so I can... Sure, OK. Go ahead. Right, thanks a lot." Sam writes down some numbers and ends the call.

"Dad ever tell you he kept a container at a storage place?" Sam asked Dean.

"What?"

"Outside of Buffalo?"

"No way."

"Yeah. And someone just broke into it."

"Well boys… lets head for Buffalo." I said settling into the seat and trying to get some sleep. I'm still struggling on and off with the nightmares, but it seems to be easier to sleep in the car.

"Hey Em, before you pass out. Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I said confused… what are they talking about?

He looked me up and down for a minute.

"Okay." He finally sighed and turned around, I didn't miss Dean eyeing me in the rearview mirror on and off until I finally fell asleep.

(Dean's POV)

"Dean." Sam said softly. "We have to tell her, its happening more often."

"What, and freak her out more? I don't think so. Leave it alone."

"Dean she's gonna find out eventually."

"She hasn't noticed yet. Just leave it alone. We don't even know what it is."

"Dean. Her eyes get so bloodshot they're practically red. She's gonna notice."

"I just don't get why its happening man, I mean what the hell does that even mean?"

Sam sighed beside me.

"I don't know dude. It could be stress or something, high blood pressure."

"Well maybe we should get her checked out."

Sam snorted.

"Yeah. Hey doc, my sister here just got supernatural abilities and now her eyes are turning red. Think she needs a beta blocker?" He mocked sarcastically.

"Dude, just shut up. Leave it alone for now."

"Fine…"

I looked back glad to see that Emily was sleeping peacefully. Finally. I don't know what it is about driving around that puts her to sleep, but it always does. She could use a few nights in a row of solid constant sleep. I wish I knew what the hell was going on with her. I've got limited time to figure it out and prepare her for how to handle it… that's what I gotta stay focused on. Preparing them. They'll be okay if I can get them ready.

(Emily's POV)

"Kiddo. Wake up. We're here." Dean hollered at me from the front seat. He got out and slammed his door. I looked up to Sam who was sighing and shaking his head.

"Did you two fight the whole time I was asleep?" I asked groggily.

"No… he's just. Still pissed." Sam said. "C'mon Em, lets go see what Dad's got stashed."

I smiled and sat up, stretching my arms. I've been feeling more and more exhausted lately. This lack of sleep is really getting to me I think. Maybe Dean will start sneaking me sleeping pills again.

"Man…" Dean sighed as I caught up to him and Sam.

"What?" I asked.

"Just Dad. You know him and his secrets. Spend all this time with the guy and it's like we barely even know the man."

"Well, we're about to learn something." Sam replied as Dean began to unlock the padlock and raised up the door. Immediately I notice a large devil's trap spray painted in red. Then bloody footprints.

"There better not be a body in here. That's all I'm saying." I sighed pulling out my flashlight and stepping into the unit. My brothers immediately behind me. Dean walked over and held up a trip wire that had a shotgun rigged to it, obviously whoever broke in fell right into Daddy's trap.

"Whoever broke in here got tagged." Sam announced.

"More than tagged." I added examining the amount of blood.

"Dear old Dad. I got two sets of boot treads here, looks like it was a two-man job. And our friend with the buckshot in him looks like he kept walking." Dean pointed to the footsteps leading back out the door.

"So what's the deal? Dad would do work here or something?" Sam asked.

"Living the high life, as usual." Dean answered.

Dean stepped forward and began pulling things off a shelf… something small and shiny. He mumbled "1995" before turning to us.

"No way! That's my Division Championship soccer trophy. I can't believe he kept this." Sam said shocked, taking the small trophy out of Dean's hands. I smiled.

"Yeah... It was probably about the closest you ever came to being a boy." Dean mocked, I smacked him in the chest and shook my head. Then I reached into a box when I found something familiar.

"Hey De… remember this?"

"Oh, wow! It's my first sawed-off. I made it myself. Sixth grade." Dean looked the gun up and down fondly.

"Careful, its probably still loaded with shells older than I am." I laughed. Dean laughed and pumped it. Yep. Still loaded.

"Hey Em, check this out." Sam called to me. I turned and looked over to him.

"SIMBA!" I squealed running towards my brother holding a small stuffed lion from the movie. "I thought he got lost! Daddy told me he left him in a motel room somewhere."

"Nah, Dad just got sick of you carrying the thing around, he lied so you'd give it up. The damn thing was starting to smell." Dean cringed.

"You're an ass! So was Dad for taking him from me… he's coming home with us now." I demanded folding my arms across my chest, Simba in hand.

"Oh come on… leave it here. It still stinks."

"NO." I said quickly. "Simba comes with us, I'll wash him later. Besides… he smells better than you do most days." I mumbled walking away, suddenly something small landed against the back of my head. I turned and glared at the brother with the shit eating grin.

"What? Wasn't me." Dean lied smugly, his face giving him away easily. Sam and I both rolled our eyes and we went back to digging around. I paused when I came across a few pictures. One of them was me and my brothers. I couldn't have been more than 5 or 6. I was sitting in Dean's lap, Sam standing over our shoulders, all laughing. Love washed over me… followed my gut wrenching pain. I can't lose him… I just can't. Either of them. I swallowed back the growing lump and tucked the picture in my pocket. I'll be taking it with me as well. I turned to see what the boys found.

"Holy crap. Look at this, he had land mines... Which they didn't take. Or the guns. I guess they knew what they were after, huh?"

"Hey guys, check this out. See these symbols? That's binding magic. These are curse boxes." Sam said leading us over to a stack of boxes, varying in size and color. All adorned in beautiful carvings.

"Curse boxes? Th – they're supposed to keep the evil mojo in, right, kinda like the Pandora deal?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, they're built to contain the power of the cursed object." I answered tracing the symbols with my fingers.

"Well stop touching it then!" Dean demanded nervously pulling my arm back.

"Dean. Its fine. You have to touch what's in the box to get cursed. Not the box itself." I told him slowly, as if explaining to a three year old.

"I know that smartass." He groaned. "Well Dad's journal did mention a whole bunch of stuff, you know? Dangerous hexed items, fetishes ... He never did say where they ended up."

"Yeah. Well this must be his toxic waste dump." Sam answered.

"Hey, look… One box is missing... Great." I groaned.

"Well maybe they didn't open it." Dean said hopeful.

"Yeah, they just liked the workmanship as much as I did I'm sure." I rolled my eyes. He is a special kind of stupid tonight.

"Oh shut up… c'mon. We'll get a jump on these guys first thing in the morning. I'm beat. Lets just crash in the closest room."

"I'm not really that tired."

"That's cause you got to sleep in the car. I'm tired, and I'm the driver. So we're crashing."

"Fine grouchy." I said walking away, sticking my tongue out as I went. Dean reached out to pinch me and I giggled before darting to hide behind Sam.

"Miss me miss me now you gotta kiss me!" I teased.

"Oh. I'll kiss you! C'mere! I got a sloppy one for ya." He smacked his drool faced lips at me.

"Eww! De no!" I whined, then he darted to chase me. I took of running and squealing, Dean on my tail. Sam's laughter echoed through the halls as Dean caught me from behind and swung me in the air, landing a wet sloppy kiss on the side of my cheek.

"EWW! De! No! NO! Let me go!" I laughed. He finally put me down and we walked back to the car catching our breath between laughs.

When we were passing the office building Dean pulled away from us and pulled something off the window.

"Kiddo. We're short on cash, need you to pay for the room tonight." He said getting in the car.

"Dean, you know I don't have any money."

"But you're gonna win us some." He smirked holding up a flyer. I briefly made out the words 'amateur night' and 'cash prize' typed out in big bubble letters.

"Ughhhh… Dean. Not tonight."

"It starts in an hour, how fast can you get ready?"

"Dean! I don't have anything to wear, my hair is a mess, and I'm not in the mood… I don't want to."

"Yeah but you haven't wanted to in a long time, maybe this will be good for you Em." Sam said hopeful.

"Sammy. Please for once, be with me on this."

"Sorry Em, I'm with Dean… I'd like a bed for the night."

"… I swear one day you're both gonna pay for voting against me every single fucking time." I mumbled in the backseat as the boys chuckled and pulled out of the parking lot. I reached in my bag in the floor and began to dig for a hairbrush and my make up. It was a rough ride, but I successfully managed to get on some bronzer and eye liner.

"Okay, you ready?" Dean asked as we pulled up to the bar.

"No. I need to change."

"Okay, well grab your bag and hit the bathroom."

"Ew. No." I know better than to change in bar bathrooms, I barely use them for what they're intended. I'm not voluntarily going in there. I'll just change out here." I said getting out of the car and popping the trunk.

"Uh, I don't think so. You're not gonna change in the parking lot, people can see you out here." Dean demanded walking around the car to stand next to me.

"Uh. Yeah. I am. I would rather get naked in this parking lot then walk into that bathroom fully dressed." I sassed back.

"Too bad. You're not changing out here." He said with his "I'm laying down the law" voice.

"Fine." I smiled, I waited till he turned away from me and lifted my shirt up and off, digging through my bag for another one.

"Oh my god are you kidding me right now?!" I heard Sam whisper yell.

"Emily Anne! Dammit! Put some damn clothes on!" Dean yelled walking back to me, him and Sam shielded me form the eyes of anyone who may be in the parking lot.

"I'm working on it." I groaned as I slipped out of my sweats and pulled up some jeans.

"I can't believe you fucking did that."

"Yeah, well. I'm dressed now so you and sasquatch can move."

Dean grumpily took off for the door.

"I wish you wouldn't pull that shit… you know how it riles him up."

"Well Sammy, maybe he shouldn't assume I'll sing at his beck and call."

"Emily, c'mon. I know you miss this… why are you fighting it?"

"Because… I can. We've got more important shit to be worried about right now."

"Emily stop… just. Go up there and have fun tonight. Please. You need to relax a little and this could really be good for you."

"Whatever Sam… lets go."

We walked in and I got signed up on the list. I was about halfway through the line, I sat at the table with my brothers in the back and listened to the competition. I was impressed by a few, and embarrassed for a few… some people have balls.

I was looking around the bar, taking in the crowd. This isn't my typical bar, I can't get up and do some country song and impress the place. These people are a younger hipper crowd. I'll have to have an ace up my sleeve to win in a place like this.

My eyes wondered until they landed on something… delicious.

I hadn't really thought much about boys since Luke. Then Sam died and Dean sold his soul… so I've been a bit preoccupied. I'm really not in the spot to be interested in a guy right now. Got too much shit on my plate. But damn… this guy is fun to look at.

He had dark brown hair, bright green eyes, and he wore a white t-shirt and black leather jacket with jeans and dark boots. It was a simple and timeless look. I watched him tip his beer to his lips and for a moment wished I was that bottle.

Suddenly bright green eyes met mine, I smiled shyly, knowing I'd been caught looking. He slowly dropped his beer and smiled back. I ran my hand through my hair and turned away from him. I better stop before he thinks he should come over here and walks into the lion's den. I looked to my oblivious brothers and shook my head slightly. They'd eat this guy for dinner. I mean, he definitely has some upper body strength going on, but there are VERY few guys that could stand toe to toe with either of my brothers, let alone both of them.

I heard my name called and it caught my attention, I'm on deck and being called to the backstage.

"If I don't win I'll be pissed at you both for dragging me out here for nothing."

"Oh c'mon. You rarely ever lose. And these girls don't have nothing on you kiddo." Dean smiled confidently at me. Even though I'm not thrilled to be here, Dean's confidence boost is still appreciated. I leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"I'll be looking for you in the crowd."

"We'll be there Em." Sam smiled. I began to make my way to the stage, walking past mr. leather jacket at the bar. I threw a small smile at him before disappearing in the crowd. The floor was packed, body to body. I figure Sam and Dean will stay in the upper level around the bar and tables, so I'll have to look for them there. I closed my eyes and thought hard about getting myself focused on the performance. Going over the lyrics in my head.

"Okay, Emily Wilson. You're up." A voice called. I took a deep breath and waited for the red head with the guitar to leave the stage before I stepped up.

I nodded over to the DJ. Unfortunately I have to sing to the pre recorded version and not a live band. Some things just aren't as fun in the city as they are in the country. Country bars almost always have house bands.

I waited for the familiar melody to begin…

" _Well I've heard there was a secret chord. That David played and it pleased the Lord…"_

" _But you don't really care for music, do you?"_

" _Well it goes like this. The fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift… The baffled king composing Hallelujah"_

" _Hallelujah….. hallelujah…"_

I varied the melody a little to fit my voice, but it still fell in line with the music. The bar was silent between work breaks, a good sign I think. This song is a classic. EVERYONE should know it, including a bar full of college kids.

" _Well your faith was strong but you needed proof. You saw her bathing on the roof… Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew ya."_

" _She tied you to her kitchen chair… And she broke your throne and she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah."_

My eyes wondered the crowd for my brothers but instead landed on someone who had moved a little little closer to the stage. Bright green eyes were glued to mine, and for some reason I just couldn't pull myself away. There was something so… peaceful. About the way he watched me. I was intrigued, pulled in 100%... Thank God my brain kept me singing, because I was absorbed in his gaze…

" _Maybe there's a God above, But all I've ever learned from love… Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya."_

" _And it's not a cry that you hear at night…"_ My voice grew louder.

" _It's not somebody who's seen the light…"_

" _It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah."_ I held the note, falling into a false setto.

I closed my eyes briefly, and when they opened they were again drawn to this mysterious man in the crowd.

" _Hallelujah…"_

" _Halleluuuuujah. Oh Hallelujah_."

As I drew out the final note he smiled at me and turned, disappearing into the crowd again. When the sound of my own voice faded away applause filled the silence, but its like I couldn't grasp what I was supposed to do. I just stood there and stared at the spot he stood before leaving… finally the DJ's voice snapped me out of it and I left the stage… leaving to find my brothers again.

I finally ran into them back at our table.

"Hey." I said sitting down distracted, my eyes still skimming the bar for my mystery man.

"Hey kiddo, you killed it! We're getting the upgraded suite tonight!" Dean chanted excitedly, Sam snorted and him and laughed.

"Em you good?" He asked me.

"Yeah, yeah… I'm fine." I said still not looking at him, but at the crowd. Dammit, where is he.

"You sure? You uh, seem a little distracted."

"Yeah, what are you looking for?" Dean asked suddenly aware as well.

"Um, nothing. I'm gonna go get a drink, want another beer?"

"Uh, sure… want me to come with you?"

"No. No I'm fine." I said getting up and bee-lining for the bar.

"Yeah, can I get an ice water and two budlights?"

"Sure thing hunny." The bar tender smiled and walked to get my drinks. I sighed and leaned my warm head against the cool counter of the bar. Trying to clear my head.

"That bar doesn't look very comfortable." A strange voice called out form beside me. I immediately looked up and had to bite back my shock as I stared into those bright green eyes.

"Soft as clouds." I replied with a smile. He chuckled.

"You know your last note was sharp."

His bold statement caught me off guard.

"I'm sorry?" I said, not sure I'd heard him right.

"I said your last note was sharp. I mean you had a few pitchy spots but that last note took the cake."

I sat in shock… Fucking really? I'm speechless.

"Well you didn't seem to bothered by it down there." I replied as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Well it would have been rude for me to throw you off in the middle of your set by telling you, I figured it'd be more polite to let you finish and then tell you afterwards."

I scoffed. "Thanks so much for you concern."

I grabbed the drinks as the bartender set them down on the counter in front of me.

"You're welcome. I'm Judson, by the way."

"Yeah okay." I mumbled before walking away.

"I'll see you around Emily." He called after me.

"Doubtful." I called back thoroughly aggravated. I mean… what the fuck?! Who the hell does he think he is? Even if I was pitchy you don't approach a stranger and tell them that kind of shit.

I walked back to the table and set down everyone's drink before sitting in my seat, arms crossed, sipping at my drink.

"Hey what crawled up your ass?" Dean asked taking in my newfound attitude.

"Nothing."

"Hey, for real, someone messing with you?" He asked me concerned. I didn't reply, this caught Sam's attention as well.

"Em, what happened."

"I said its nothing! Just… turn around and listen to the blonde up there."

Fucking pitchy. The fuck… I sat and stewed in my aggravation while the rest of the girls sang.

"I think that's the last one, you've got this one in the bag." Dean said sitting back and relaxing again.

"Are you sure… I wasn't off?" I asked him. "Be honest with me."

"No, Emily you did great. Where is this coming from?" He eyed me curiously.

"Its nothing… just. You promise me… Promise me it was good?"

"Yes. Emily I swear. You kicked ass up there. The whole bar was eyes on you."

"…Okay." I sat back and sighed. Fucking pitchy. I don't know why this bothers me so fucking much. Had Dean or Sam said it I'd have shrugged it off and chalked up to a bad night… but something about it coming from mystery man just. UGH! Makes me angry!

The DJ walked out on stage and began calling the winners, he went rhough the first two runners up and then I sat in anticipation waiting to hear the winner's name."

"And the cash prize of $500 goes to… Emily Wilson!" He called. I smiled smugly. Dean cheered and patted me on the back as I stood and walked toward the stage to claim my prize. For some reason though the only thing I wanted to do was rub this in that guys face. When I got on stage I could see him, still standing at the back by the bar where I left him.

His smug ass girn, it just… ugh!

"Whoa… hey kid, you alright?" The DJ whispered beside me, holding the mic away form us as he handed me the money.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I answered confused. He stared at me like I had a third eye. What the fuck is wrong with people around here? I looked out and noticed the people close to the stage were also looking at me strange… umm. Am I missing something?! Is there a fucking peacock standing on my head? The crowd cheered and I smiled before walking back off the stage.

The further down the steps I got the more scared I became. Every person that looked at me had that same look on their face, I stared back at them in fear in confusion…. What the hell is going on here. I wondered through the crowd and noticed people actively moving to get out of my way. I froze.

They made a circle around me, leaving me enough space not to touch anyone… I spun. Panicking. Feeling my chest grow tight and my breaths come shorter and shorter.

"Sam… Dean.." I mumbled nervously. But they were nowhere in sight. I began to run through the crowd, trying to get back to the table as quickly as I could. My breath coming rapidly and shallow.

As I began to job up the short stairs that led to the bar area Dean and Sam were both right in front of me..

"De… what's going on?!"

"C'mon. We gotta go… now. Move!" He said pulling me up by the arm and wrapping me against his side, hurrying us out of the bar."

I barely looked back to see Sam right on our ass end, looking at people around us like they were a threat. What the hell am I missing here? Somethings wrong…

Dean unlocked the car door and pushed me to sit between him and Sam. Sam got in and draped his arm over the back of the seat behind me. I grabbed onto the bottom of his shirt as it laid against the seat.

"Someone tell me whats going on, please!" I asked as Dean began backing out of the parking lot.

"Nothing, we just. We're fine. You're fine." Dean said rapidly, hiding something. My panic was still rising.

"Dean! Don't lie to me what the hell is going on!"

"Nothing! We're fine!" He yelled back.

"Dean stop! You're just gonna scare her more." Sam reprimanded him, pulling me closer to him.

"Sammy. Tell me. Right now." I demanded, trying to control my breathing but failing.

"Emily, Look in the mirror. But don't freak out okay, you're fine." He said to me softly.

"What do I have something on my face!" I said confused and embarrassed? What the hell is on my face that all those people saw?!

"No… no. Just. Look." I leaned up and tilted down the rearview mirror. My eyes. They're red. Blood red. All around my dark brown iris is red.

"Oh my god…" I whispered.

"De… what's wrong with me?" I turned to him, feeling tears build behind my eyes.

"Shh… nothing babygirl, nothing. Just calm down. We're okay."

"No! We-we-we're not okay! My eyes are fucking red! What the hell is wrong with me!" I panicked.

"Dean pull over." Sam told him as I clamped my eyes shut and shoved my palms again them, gasping in one breath after the other.

"Em you're okay. Its okay. Just breathe." Sam cooed, pulling me out of the car to stand against him.

"Make it go away!" I cried. Refusing to open my eyes in fear it was still there.

"Open your eyes kiddo." Dean said softly but I shook my head no and continued to clamp, willing this to all just go away!

"No… go away! Go away…" I mumbled.

"GO AWAY!" I screamed, the wind around us had picked up and there was the distinct sound of things snapping… trees. Its trees snapping, and falling with a thud, shaking the ground beneath our feet.

"Emily. Stop! You gotta calm down… open your eyes. Look at me." Dean demanded holding my face, trying to pull my hands away.

"I-I can't!"

"Yes you can… just focus on me. Just listen… focus." He said softly. I focused in on his voice. Trying to calm to pounding inside my head.

"Shhh… shhh.. there ya go." As I calmed down, the wind around us died down as well.

"Man… Em. I gotta tell ya. These power things are starting to get freaky. I mean you were like Storm form the xmen just now!" Dean laughed slightly, trying to lighten the mood. But all it did was scare me more. I began to cry and didn't resist as he moved me back towards the car.

"Emily… open you're eyes." Sam whispered to me as Dean drove us down the road.

"What if its not gone." I said still hiding my face in my hands.

"It is… look at me."

Slowly I moved my hands and took a few deep breaths before opening my eyes and meeting Sam's soft hazel ones.

"Is it gone?" I whispered, barely forming the words.

"Yeah, its gone kiddo. You're okay."

"What the hell was that?"

"We don't know… you've been doing in on and off for the last week or so. You just haven't noticed. And its never been in front of anyone other than us."

"So what you've just been hiding this from me?! Why didn't you tell me!"

"Emily, calm down… We didn't wanna scare you."

"Well that plans kinda fucked now isn't it?" I snapped.

"Emily stop!" Dean yelled. "That's enough! We didn't tell you because we knew you'd freak out just like you're doing right now! Now take a breath. Before you get worked up and we end up in a scene from Twister."

I huffed and leaned my head back against the seat…

"What is it?"

"We don't know." Sam said.

"How often does it happen?"

"Not often… maybe once or twice a day if that. For about a week now." Dean answered.

"What's causing it?" I asked calmly.

"We don't know… something to do with your abilities. What was going on tonight when it started?"

"I… I was frustrated."

"With what?"

"Just some stupid guy." I mumbled.

"Son of a bitch Em. I asked you if someone was messing with you. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because. It was no big deal."

"Obviously it was enough to upset you." Sam added.

"I wasn't upset. I was just irritated. It was something small and stupid, I don't know why the hell it would have set anything off."

"Well… for now. Just lay low and stay close. We need to figure out what's triggering it. So far there's not a distinct pattern. Unless you're not being honest with us about how you feel about things."

"Dean. Get off my ass. I've been honest with you… I just didn't seem the point in telling you about some dick at the bar. I handled it."

"Lets just get some rest and we'll tackle this thing later. I'm exhausted." Dean sighed as he pulled into a motel and held out his hand for the cash. I rolled my eyes and forked it over. Waiting in silence with Sam as he got us a room. I helped the boys carry in our bags and went to shower. Letting the hot water soothe my tense shoulders. I rubbed my eyes again and again, as if I could wash the problem away like it was dirt on my skin. I wish it was that easy. All this… crap. I just wish it would go away. Why did the demon pick our family? Why us? Why couldn't we just be left alone.

I finally got out once the water cooled. I looked around at the dingy bathroom as I dressed. These places are all the same. Dirty square tiles in the bathroom floor, some crappy theme for the room decoration. I stepped out and both boys were already passed out. Sam was sprawled. His giant legs taking up the whole bed. I sighed and walked over to where Dean had the sheet pushed towards one side of the bed, and he was turned away, leaving half the bed open. Old habits die hard I guess.

I curled into bed and settled against the stiff white sheets. Staring at the wall until I felt tired enough to fall asleep. When I was almost there Dean shifted in his sleep and reached out for me. Wrapping an arm over me, making sure nothing could get to me. His arm was heavy, but I didn't have the heart to push it away, not that I really wanted to tonight. As much as I fight it… I still need him.

"Connecticut. Last three digits 880." Dean announced as we pulled up outside of the apartment complex.

"Yep, that's it."

"Should've blacked out their plates before they parked in front of the security camera..." Dean mocked.

We parked and left the car, breaking into the building and walking the stairs up to the apartment where these thieves are supposedly hiding out. Guns out, we slowed as we got closer, listening to them discuss some kind of poker game.

Once Dean picked the lock and silently opened the door I could hear one of the men screaming about how he just can't lose… Dean nodded and held up his fingers counting down from three.

He flew form around the corner.

"FREEZE! FREEZE! NOBODY MOVE!" Dean screamed as Sam and I came around on either side of him, guns drawn as well.

"Don't move!" Sam yelled as the men turned to us shocked.

"What is this?" One of the men asked moving.

"STOP!" Sam yelled. I pointed my gun at the man.

"All right, give us the box. And please tell me that you didn't– "

"Oh they did." I interrupted, looking down at the open curse box. Fuck.

"You opened it?!" Dean asked shoving the guy against the wall.

"Are you guys cops?" The man asked nervously.

"Huh?"

"ARE YOU GUYS COPS?!"

"What was in the box?" I demanded. The man began glancing at the table where some small key chain was laying on the corner.

"De." I said getting his attention and pointing to the item. What the hell is that thing?

"Oh, was that is, huh? It was wasn't it? What is that thing?" Dean said looking at it, suddenly the man used this distraction to knock the gun from Dean's hand. It falls to the floor and fires, the bullet begins to ricochet off the radiator and towards me. It hits the gun and I drop it out of fear and panic. The same bullet then his a lamp, distracting Sam enough for the other man to knock his gun away, they begin to struggle. I stood in shock as I watched Sam be shoved into Dean and knock him backwards, falling onto and breaking the coffee table and launching the rabbits foot in the air.

"Sorry!" Sam yelled, the man who was fighting with him launched himself and he and Sam both went to the floor. I begin to run towards them but somehow the other man wrestled Dean's gun away and stood, knocking Dean to the floor and aiming the gun straight at my face. I froze. He hesitated, then pulled the trigger. I flinched as the gun clicked…

Oh. My. God… it's jammed. It took me a second to realize what the hell is happening, but then I quickly grabbed the gun and began fighting the man who just tried to kill me. What the hell is going on right now!

The man knocks me to the floor as Sam tackles him, they struggle and he ends up on top of Sam on the floor, strangling him, Sam begins to reach for the charm that was on the table., he finally manages to grab it and throws the man off him as if by magic. Sam stands and pulls me to my feet.

"DEAN! I got it!" Sam yelled.

"No you don't one of the men yelled running at us, but then he trips, falls, and knocks himself out. Dean stood and looked over to Sam and I confused… did this just happen? Really?

"That was a lucky break!... Is that a rabbit's foot?!" Dean asked, Sam raised it in the air.

"I'll be damned. It is a rabbits foot." I said admiring the item, I reached up to touch it but Sam jerked it away.

"No way… if this thing is cursed I don't want you touching it kiddo."

The boys and I quickly left the apartment and got the hell out of dodge, Dean pulls up to a rest stop with a burger joint and dodged inside, coming back with a paper bag.

"I'm not finding anything on it in Dad's journal." Sam sighed as Dean sat down, pulling a handful of scratch off tickets out of the bag.

"Seriously De?" I raised my eyebrows. He winked at me.

"Dean, come on." Sam sighed.

"What?! Hey, that was my gun he was aiming at Em's head, and my gun don't jam. So that was a lucky break. Not to mention them taking themselves out, also a lucky break. Here, scratch one. C'mon Sam, scratch and win!"

Sam snatched the ticket form Dean and quickly scratched it. Handing it back without actually reading the card.

"Dean, it's gotta be cursed somehow. Otherwise Dad wouldn't have locked it up." Sam tried to reason.

"$1200... You just won $1200! I don't know, man, it doesn't seem that cursed to me!"

Dean handed him another card and I smiled watching Sam sigh in aggravation. This continued until he was through the entire stack, I gotta admit. I'm impressed. This thing is kind of badass. I kinda wish I'd have grabbed it. Dean took back the stack and exited the car, laying them all out across the hood, I went and sat on the hood next to him.

"Oh, man!" He cheered excitedly while Sam stood off to the side talking to Bobby.

"Now look Bobby, we didn't know." Sam said shaking his head, obviously he was getting an ear full. "Well Dad never told us about this thing. I mean you knew about his storage place at Black Rock?" Then Sam gets a curious look on his face and points to the ground below me… I look down and pick up a gold watch.

"Dude. What the fuck?" I said to Dean surprised, Sam looked at us in confusion. Dean smiled widely and took the watch from me.

"Hey. It's mine!" I said snatching it back and placing it on my wrist… it was huge unfortunately, but Ima keep it anyways.

"It's a hell of a luck charm… Well, so I won't lose it, Bobby."

"Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head making me giggle. He is DEFINITELY getting an earful. Better him than me, Bobby can be ruthless.

"Well, then, how do we break the curse?" Sam asked… he nodded a few times and then looked down and closed his phone. That doesn't sound like it ended well.

"Dude! We're up fifteen grand!" Dean cheered. Sam half-smiled. I could tell he face was full of worry.

"Hey Sammy, want me to take that thing off your hands?"

"Not a chance in hell Em. Don't even look at this thing. Got it?" He warned playfully. I winked at him.

"Alright, lets eat. Lunch is on Em." Dean said flashing my cash from last night and leading us into the restaurant. He looked back and noticed Sam's silent mopey face.

"Don't worry, Bobby'll find a way to break it. Until then I say we hit Vegas, pull a little Rain Man. You can be Rain Man." I snickered while Sam rolled his eyes.

"Look, we just lay low until Bobby calls back, Okay?" Sam asked. "Hi, uh, table for three please."

The restaurant worker suddenly pulled an alarm and I began to panic until he yelled out congratulations. We all looked at each other confused and surprised. There's a lot of that going on today.

"You are the one millionth guest of the Biggerson's Restaurant family!" He cheered handing us a huge fake check as confetti began to fall. Sam looked mortified, I attempted to hide behind the check… and Dean. Well. He's Dean and his smile couldn't have been cheesier as the camera flashed. Finally they sat us down at a booth.

"Bobby's right. This lore goes way back. Pure Hoodoo. You can't just cut one off any rabbit. Has to be in a cemetery, under a full moon, on a Friday the thirteenth." Sam read from his laptop while I let my eyes wonder across the parking lot.

"I think from now on, we only go to places with Biggerson's." Dean mumbled chowing down on a banana split. He gets a flash of brain freeze and Sam and I chuckle as he presses his hand to his head and hisses in pain.

"That's what you get De. 4 bowls of ice cream later…" I teased, then my eyes fell back towards the parking lot.

Holy fuck shit.

"No fucking way…" I mumbled. I looked up and watched as bright green eyes met mine. Judson. He was pumping gas at the attached gas station.

"What is it kiddo?" Dean asked, but I couldn't reply. Instead I just shook my head and forced myself to look down at my drink, suddenly becoming extremely interested in the melting ice cubes.

"Em? What is it?" Sam pressed.

"Nothing."

"Did we not just have this discussion last night?" Dean prodded.

I looked up to him and shot the best bitchface I could manage.

"Fine. You really wanna know? The fucker from the bar is outside in the parking lot… happy now?" I snapped.

"Want me to rip his lungs out?" Dean offered looking over me and trying to find him while giving the "don't fuck with my sister" face.

"No. Dean. I want you to look back at your menu. I'm sure he's leaving anyways, we'll never see him again. So just leave it alone."

Him and Sam continued to stare out the window and figure out who exactly I was talking about, both wearing their mean faces.

"Boys." I snapped my fingers. "Drop it. Now."

They both finally went back to their menus and I glanced out the window again… he's gone.

"Can I freshen you up?"

I turned my head as did the boys at the sight of a very beautiful waitress throwing herself in Sam's face. Oh yeah. He's gonna get lucky alright. I smirked watching Dean's face flash between jealousy and shock.

"Yeah, yeah sure. Thanks." Sam smiled coyly. The waitress kept her eyes on him as she over poured his coffee.

"Oh!" She exclaimed.

"Oh! Oh I uh-"

"Let me mop up here."

"No, no don't worry it's okay, It's okay- I got it, uh..." Sam spoke nervously.

"It's no trouble, really."

"Okay."

"Sorry about that." She smiled before standing and turning.

"It's all right." Sam smiled back, she began to walk away and I shook my head as both boys leaned forward to stare at her ass as she walked away, she looked back at us and smiled before disappearing behind the bar.

"Dude. If you were ever gonna get lucky..." Dean teased.

"Shut up." Sam smirked as he went to grab his coffee. He then managed to knock over the cup, successfully spilling it all over himself and the table, as he stood he bumped into a waiter with a full tray and sent him and the food flying to the floor.

"Oh shit… Dean." I whispered. Sam turned to us shocked.

"How was that good?" Dean questioned.

"Sam… the foot." I told him, he dug into his pocket but came up empty handed. FUCK!

"Son of a bitch." Dean growled and got up taking off at the waitress that most likely just played us, I followed after him, dragging Sam behind me. She was nowhere in the building so we dodged out the door and into the parking lot.

"Come on!" Dean called taking off in a sprint to the car, I followed with Sam close behind, but soon skidded to a stop when I heard the sound of a sasquatch hitting the ground. Dean froze and paused before looking back.

"Aw, Sam." I pitied bending down to help him.

"Wow! You suck!" Dean called out coming over.

"Dean! Shut up!" I said dead legging him in the thigh. He shot me a look before rubbing it.

"Ow..." Sam groaned. I looked down and his poor pitiful knees were bloodied up, holes in his jeans.

"So what, now your luck turns bad?" Dean asked.

"I guess."

"I wonder how bad?" I said worried. My poor Sammy.

We quickly retraced our steps back to the apartment where the thieves were holding up, although the building manager informed us one of them died this morning… not long after we left. Shit… this can't be good. We wondered up the steps the same way as we did earlier. This time Dean slowly pushed open the door, revealing one of the men sitting in a chair in the center of the room, milking a bottle of tequila.

"Heard about your friend. That's bad luck." Dean said.

"Piss off."

"We know someone hired you to steal the rabbit's foot. A woman." I told him.

"Oh yeah? How do you know that sweetheart?"

"Because she just stole it back from us."

The man laughed at us.

"Listen man, this is seri-" Sam started, but while stepping forward he tripped over a wire and sent himself and a radio crashing to the floor. He even managed to take out a lamp in the process… damn. This thing is bad.

"Sam, you Okay?" Dean asked calmly, never looking back.

"Yeah, I'm good!" Sam called out.

"I want you to tell us her name." Dean said to the man.

"Screw you."

"It wasn't a freak accident that killed your partner." I told him.

"What?"

"It was the rabbit's foot."

"You're crazy, lady." He scoffed at me.

"You know I'm not. You saw what happened, what it did. All the flukes, all the luck. When you lose the foot that luck goes sour. That's what killed your friend. And my brother here is next. And who knows how many more innocent people after that. Now if you don't help us stop this thing, that puts those deaths on your head."

The man's face flashed between guilt and worry. Ha, got him.

"Now I can read people ..." Dean started. "And I get it. You're a thief, and a scumbag, that's fine. But you're not a killer. Are you?"

"No." The man whispered.

I trotted back down the steps and out the door, a name in hand and my eyes glued to Sam, waiting for him to trip at any moment and face plant down the stairwell.

As we exited the building I breathed a sigh of relief, which was interrupted by Dean's ringing phone.

"Hello?" Dean answered. "Bobby, that's uh, great, 'cept Sam, uh..."

Uh oh, Bobby again… this isn't gonna be good. Suddenly I hear Sam sigh and begin to fidget behind me.

"Dude, what are you doing?"

"I stepped in gum." He whined scraping his shoe along the concrete, it wasn't helping so he walked over to a sewer grate and began trying to scrape it off.

"...Sam lost the foot." Dean admitted through the phone, oblivious to us. "Bobby, Bobby, listen. This, uh, this hot chick stole it from him. I'm serious. In her mid 20's, and she was sharp you know, good enough at the con to play us… And she only gave the guy she hired a name, probably an alias or something. Uh, Luigi or something?"

"Lugosi." I called over to him.

"Lugosi." He repeated into the phone. I looked down as Sam began to scrape his shoe harder across the grate.

"Hey Sam, becareful you might dr-"… I stopped as I watched him drop the shoe down into the sewers. "Drop it." I sighed. He looked up at me like a lost puppy. Then he began reaching his long arm down to try and reach it.

"Uh, I don't think so… with your luck the sewer gator would be wondering around and have your arm for dinner. Get up." I said pulling on him.

"Bela Lugosi? That's cute." Dean chided, still oblivious to our situation. "Well she knew about the rabbit's foot. Is she a Hunter?... Ah, I guess she's back… Well. That just… Great. Thanks, Bobby. Again."

Dean hung up the phone and turned back to us, his face paused when he took in Sam's pouty appearance.

"What?"

"I lost my shoe." Sam said as if he was a child who lost his favorite toy. It was almost sad enough to not laugh at, but not quite. I had to bite back my laughter as Dean sighed and began walking back to the car.

"All right, Bobby's got it on pretty good authority that this Bela chick ... lives in Queens. So it'll take me about two hours to get there." Dean called pulling up into a motel parking lot.

"So what are we doing here?" I asked curiously.

"You, and uh our brother back there, are staying here 'cause I don't want his bad luck getting us killed."

"Well Sammy, looks like its just us for the night." I smiled cheerily, hoping it would boost his poor mood. It didn't.

"What am I even supposed to do, Dean?" Sam whined as Dean led us into a room.

"Nothing! Nothing. Come here. I don't want you doing anything. I want you to sit right here, and don't move, OK? Don't turn on the light, don't turn off the light. Don't even scratch your nose." Dean warned as he sat Sam in a chair in the center of the room.

"And me?" I asked.

"I want you to watch him… I'm serious. Don't let him get up. DON'T leave the room, and do not under any circumstance let in anyone but me. Got it?"

"Sir yes sir. Drive safe."

Dean winked before leaving and locking the door behind him, taking the only keys.

"Well. Guess we're on lock down." I looked over to Sam who was twitching his nose as if it itched. He moved to raise his hand.

"Hey! Don't you dare." I said walking over to scratch it for him. He sighed in defeat.

"So… a round of truth or dare? No dares?" I offered. He chuckled.

"Why not?"

"That's the spirit." I mocked sitting on the bed across from his chair.

"You first." Sam nodded.

"Hmmm… did you know Dad hid my Simba?"

"No. I thought he was a goner too." I smiled. "Do you think you'll hunt for the rest of your life?"

"Yes… Do you think Ruby is really trying to help us?"

"I don't know kiddo… I hope so, she's the best we've got to save Dean. Are you afraid of her?"

"Not a bit. Just afraid of getting my hopes up. Do you think we can really save him?"

"Yeah. I do."

"I hope so." I whispered.

"So… do you miss Luke?"

I looked at Sam wildly.

"Where did that come from?"

"Hey. That's not how the game goes… answer the question." Sam demanded.

I sighed. "Yes."

"Did you ever really believe we would work out?"

Sam looked at me guilty. "No… but I hoped. What did that guy at the bar do last night to upset you?"

"Oh c'mon Sammy. That's a waste of a question."

"Hey. You wanted to play… your game. Your rules. Now answer."

I looked down nervously and fidgeted with my hands.

"Well he's crazy or deaf. You kicked ass."

"You're just saying that because you're my brother."

"No. I'm saying it because its true, and I don't want you to let something like that guy stop you from getting up there and enjoying yourself. You deserve to have at least that."

"Thanks Sammy." I smiled. "…Have you had anymore visions since yellow eyes died?"

"No." He said firmly. "Does that scare you?"

"No. I scare me… Do I scare you?" I whispered.

"No. Emily you don't. I don't know what the hell's going on with all these abilities, but I know you're still my sweet Em. We'll figure this out."

I sighed and pushed my hair back behind my ear, staring down at the criss cross pattern on the blanket.

"Do you believe me?" Sam asked… it took me a moment to debate my answer.

"I don't know." I finally said, unable to look up at him.

"Em. Look at me."

My eyes slowly lifted to his.

"No matter what the hell happens, you will always have me and Dean on your side. We will always fight for you, and we're not going to let this beat you. We're gonna figure out what it is… and how to control it. And then we'll help you. Every step of the way. I promise you. Look I mean, my visions have been gone for weeks now. I mean maybe yours will fade away too."

"Yeah. Somehow I doubt that. Mine are different… yours were tied directly into yellow eyes. He's dead now. My abilities are solely tied up in my emotions. I don't see them going away anytime soon, I mean our life right now is a fucking joke. I am a fucking joke. Look at me… I'm 16 and I feel like I'm 40. I'm exhausted. All the damn time… I don't sleep. I have to push myself to eat most days, I feel drained and on edge 24/7. Like I'm just waiting for a fall out of some kind. Our lives are so fucked up…. How am I supposed to control these… abilities, if I can't even get a grasp on my life right now."

"I don't know kiddo… but you will."

"…Do you still think about Jessica?" I asked quickly. Switching topics.

"Every day." He smiled sadly. "How old were you when you kissed a boy for the first time?"

"Sam. You don't want me to answer that one." I laughed. He looked at me as if he was a scolding parent and crossed his arms… waiting. "Fine… 11."

"11?! Seriously… geez. How the hell did you even get to be around a boy at 11?"

"When we were bouncing schools… I may or may not have had some fun on the playgrounds at recess."

"Geez… I should have known we were doomed."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said throwing a pillow at him. He laughed and caught it.

"It means when you were two you used to run around and tell Dad you wanted a boyfriend for Christmas. Nearly gave him a heart attack. You've been chasing boys ever since. Not that you should have to. They line up at the door for you these days."

I blushed. Sam threw the pillow back but I blocked it, sending it flying into the AC unit under the window. It rattled then began to billow out smoke.

"Oh come on!" Sam whined. I looked between him and the unit with concern.

"Sam? What do I do?"

"Just… don't touch it. See if it stops."

We watched for a second and I jumped and squealed as it erupted into flames.

"Sam!" He jumped out of the chair and began to help me pat the fire out with a blanket, it took several seconds but was finally out.

"Okay. That's it… back to your chair." I looked at Sam and my eyes went wide as I realized his sleeve was on fire, he followed my gaze and began to flop around the room trying to put it out. I chased him, hitting his arm with a pillow to kill the flames… somehow he managed to wrap himself and I up in the curtains and knocked himself out cold, The weight of his body coming down on mine was too much and I fell to the ground, but not before smacking my head and blacking out on the way down.

When I came to I was sitting in a chair… it didn't take long to realize I was tied up. Shit… not again.

I look up to see Sam being ductaped to a chair across from me. Two men in the room… what the hell? Who are these people?

Sam began to come to as well.

"Oh, he's awake!" One of the men shouted. "Looks like the girl is too!"

"Back with us, eh?" The other man said looking between us. I stared him down and then looked to Sam. I nodded to him to let him know I was okay. A little dizzy, but okay.

"We didn't even have to touch you. You just went all spastic, and knocked yourself and her out? It was like watching Jerry Lewis try to stack chairs!"

"Who are you, What do you wa-" Sam asked, but was interrupted when the man slapped him across the face.

"Hey! Get your hands the fuck off my brother!" I screamed, pulling against my restraints.

"Oh. Listen to that mouth… I tell ya what. Young lady that is quite enough out of you." One of the men teased, walking over and using a rag to gag me. I thrashed, but ultimately lost as he knotted the rag behind my head.

"Hey. Leave her alone. If you want me I'm right here!" Sam called, getting their attention back on him.

"I used to think your friend Gordon sent me." The lead man said… oh for fucks sake. Gordon?!

I tried to yell against the gag but it all came out muffled curse words.

"Gordon? Oh come on!" Sam said irritated.

"Yeah, because he asked me to track you down, and put a bullet in your brain. The girl too."

"Great. That sounds like him." I looked at Sam nervously. Shit… where's Dean when you need him. Where the hell are my abilities when you need them?!

"But, as it turns out ... I'm on a mission from God." The man said slapping Sam again.

I pushed myself to get angry… really angry. Which isn't hard while watching a man beat your brother. The room around us shook slightly. Sam looked at me, telling me to stop. I did and the room settled, the men looked at each other confused for a moment.

"You were a part of that demon plan to open the gate weren't you?"

"We did everything we could to stop it." Sam told him.

"Lie lie lie! You were in on it. You know what their next move is too, don't you?"

"No, I don't, okay? You're wrong about all of this."

"Where are they gonna hit us next?"

Sam refuses to answer and the man punches him again… I could feel my control slipping. The anger building up. Sam shot me another glare as the room shook again around us. Why the hell doesn't he just let me fuck these guys up!

"WHERE?! Gordon told me about you, Sam. About your powers. You're some kinda weirdo psychic freak? And the girl here… she'll be one too someday."

"No, not any more. I – no powers, no visions, nothing. Neither does she! She never got any." Sam lied convinvingly.

"LIAR!" The man shouted. Punching him hard.

I bit against the gag and began to pull against my restraints. When I did a lamp flew across the room. The men paused.

"Was that you?!" He asked Sam. "Getting a little testy are we?"

"Listen to me… you don't want to do this." Sam told him, knowing I couldn't bite this back much longer.

"Answer me!" The man yelled punching him again. I squeezed my fists and watched as the glass on the clock shattered, sending it falling to the floor.

"No more lies! There's an army of demons out there pushing at a world already on the brink. We're on deck for the endgame here, right? So maybe, just maybe you can understand why we can't take chances." The man said drawing his gun. I thrashed and pulled, feeling the room shake. He pointed the gun at Sam.

"Whoa, okay, okay, no, do— hold on a minute!" Sam pleaded.

"Hey, Kubrick just—" The second man called out.

"No, you saw what just happened, Creedy. Ask yourself, why are we here? Because you saw a picture on the web? Because we chose this motel instead of another? Luck like that doesn't just happen. Look what this guy is capable of… we can't let him walk."

I felt panic settle inside my chest. It was pushing against me and I was pushing against the tape around my body. Finally something snapped and I stood.

"You're worried about the wrong freak." I spat as I ripped the tape off my wrists.

"Whoa… did I miss the party?" Dean called entering the room, Kubrik raised his gun back at Sam's head.

"Put the gun down, son, or you're gonna be scraping brain off the wall."

"Oh, this thing?" Dean said nonchalantly. He better have a fucking plan before I shred this guy.

"Yeah, that thing."

"Okay. But you see, there's something about me that you don't know." Dean said with a wink to me… he's got it. I smirked. Dean set down his gun.

"Yeah? What would that be?"

"It's my lucky day."

Dean picked up a pen and tossed it toward Kubrick. It successfully landed right in the barrel of the gun. Sam looks impressed and Dean and I laughed.

"Oh my God, did you see that shot!?"

The other man lunged at Dean, but Dean easily side stepped and I watched in amusement as the man ran into the wall and knocked himself out. Kubrick fought to dislodge the pen in his gun but couldn't.

"I'm amazing." Dean smiled. Picking up a TV remote and throwing it at the man. It hit him dead in the center of the forehead, knocking him unconscious. I ran to Sam and began to cut through the tape.

"I'm Batman." Dean charmed.

"Yeah. You're Batman." Sam replied sarcastically.

"I don't care who the hell you are as long as you get us the hell out of here." I added.

That night we booked it for the closes graveyard, ready to destroy this damn thing.

"All right. Bone ash, cayenne pepper, that should do it." Sam said sprinkling them onto the fire.

"One second..." Dean mumbled, scratching off the last of his tickets.

"Dean."

"Hey, back off, Jinx. I'm bringing home the bacon."

"All right, say goodbye wascawy wabbit." Dean said before pulling out the foot and dangling it over the fire. The sound of a gun cocking stopped us all.

"I think you'll find that belongs to me. Or, you know, whatever… Put the foot down, honey." The beautiful woman commanded.

"No. You're not going to shoot anybody. See I happen to be able to read people. OK, you're a thief, fine, but you're not—"

A loud gunfire interrupted him, there was suddenly searing pain in my shoulder.

"Ahhh!" I groaned. Sam instantly pulled me behind him, holding pressure against my bleeding shoulder.

"Son of a—" Dean started.

"Back off, tiger. Back off. You make one more move and I'll pull the trigger. You've got the luck, Dean. You, I can't hit. But your siblings? Them I can't miss. Emily there isn't curse, so she's still breathing. Should we test Sam's luck?"

"What the hell is wrong with you?! You don't just go around shooting people like that!" Dean screamed shocked.

"Relax. It's a shoulder hit, I can aim. Besides, who here hasn't shot a few people? Put the rabbit's foot on the ground now."

"All right! All right. Take it easy." Dean crouched to the ground, but suddenly tossed the foot to Bela.

"Think fast." He teased. She caught it deftly.

"Damn." She groaned.

"Now, what do you say we destroy that ugly-ass piece of dead thing?" Dean offered. I glared at the woman, sending daggers at her with my eyes. I mean what the fuck?! She just shot me!

"Thanks very much. I'm out one and a half million, and on the bad side of a very powerful, fairly psychotic buyer."

"Wow. I really don't feel bad about that. Sam? Em?"

"Nope. Not even a little."

"Hmm. Maybe next time I'll hang you out to dry."

"Maybe next time I'll fucking kill you with my bare hands." I said stepping forward, she drew her gun again.

"Whoa! Hey… enough. This is over." Dean demanded. Bela put away the gun and turned to leave. Sam pulled me back.

"Oh don't go away angry, just go away." Dean mocked.

"Have a nice night." Bela smiled before walking away. Smug little bitch.

"You hanging in kiddo?" Dean asked me concerned. Thankfully the shot was more of a graze. It just cut the skin, nothing a few stitches won't fix. Had I had an actual bullet hole, Dean would be chasing that bitch down right now.

"I'll live."

"I guess we're back to normal now, huh? No good luck, no bad luck. Oh! I forgot we're up $46000. I almost forgot about the ... scratch tickets." Dean paused… feeling around in his pockets. But comes up empty.

A sudden honking draws our attention.

"…Bela." I mumbled.

"SON OF A BITCH!"


	46. Chapter 46

Author's Note: Hey guys! So what do we think of Bella and Judson? Yay or Nay? Neither will be making an appearance in this chapter, but will be back VERRRRY soon. Love you guys! Please review and let me know what you think!

"Bobby I don't know where else to look. I've gone through every book in your library… Every stop we make Sam or I dig through the local library. I just… We've gotta be missing something, right?"

"I don't know darlin. I'm going to be honest with you here, this isn't something any of us know a lot about. Truth is, well. There might not be nothing we can do Em."

I looked down and swallowed. Feeling the weight of Bobby's statement as it sank into my gut.

"No… there's gotta be something." I mumbled as I turned around and stared at my brother who was sitting in the living room watching TV. Carefree… as if his trip to hell isn't getting closer by the day. I looked down and went back to melting the metal into bullets, Bobby was next to me with the colt in pieces. Trying to figure out just what makes it tick hard enough to kill a demon.

"I'm sure we'll find something soon darlin, stop worrying yourself to death. It won't help."

"Yeah… sleepless nights. Counting down the days and hours. That's healthy right?" I asked sarcastically.

"I don't mean to be rude here kid, but you're looking a little pale in the face… thinner than the last time I saw you. Its not a good look."

"Gee Bobby thanks, I guess I'll withdraw my application for the Miss America Pageant this year." I rolled my eyes.

"Smartass." He grumbled shoving me slightly, I pushed him back and giggled.

"Hey" Sam said coming through the door.

"Hey, what's up?" Dean called walking into the kitchen.

"Might've found some omens in Ohio. Dry lightning, barometric-pressure drop."

"Well, that's thrilling." I sighed.

"Plus, some guy blows his head off in a church and another goes postal in a hobby shop before the cops take him out. Might be demonic omens."

"Or it could just be a suicide and a psycho scrapbooker." I told him… We don't have time for a hunt. We've got to find a way to save Dean.

"Yeah, but it's our best lead since Lincoln."

"Where in Ohio?" Dean asked.

"Elizabethville. It's a half-dead factory town in the rust belt."

"There's got to be a demon or two in South Beach." Dean groaned.

"Sorry, Hef. Maybe next time." I winked at him.

"How's it going, Bobby?" Sam asked him pointing down at the colt.

"Slow."

"Eh, I tell you, it's a little sad seeing the Colt like that." Dean said.

"Well, the only thing it's good for now is figuring out what makes it tick."

"So what makes it tick?" Sam asked. Bobby looked up to him VERY unamused. Sam stepped back and held up his hands, trying not to laugh. I bit my lip and Dean snickered.

"So, if we want to go check out these omens in Ohio... you think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?" Dean asked, Bobby turned and stared at him.

"Well, it won't kill demons by then, but I can promise it'll kill you."

I laughed out loud and Dean tapped the back of my head.

"All right, come on, we're wasting the daylight." Dean said pulling me up out of my chair like I was a little kid.

"De! Put me down!" I whined.

"C'mon Sam, lets toss her in the trunk, it'll be a nice peaceful ride!" Dean cheered as he carried me out the door. Sam following behind laughing.

"Hey! You three run into anything — anything — you call me." Bobby yelled after us. I waved goodbye to him and he winked at me. Silently telling me he'll keep looking.

Dean pretended to toss me in the trunk for a few minutes before finally tossing me in the seat between him and Sam.

"Asshole." I groaned trying to fix my ruffled hair, Sam reached over and ruffled it again. I shot him the death glare as Dean pulled out and cranked some BOC.

It took us 6 hours to reach Elizabethville, we quickly changed into more appropriate attire and made our way over to the church where the most recent death took place.

"There's not much left for the insurance company. It was a suicide - I saw it myself." Father Gil said as he led us into the church.

"Well, this shouldn't take long, then." Dean said with a smile.

"That's where Andy did it. It's the first time I'd seen him in weeks. He used to come every Sunday."

"When did he stop?" I asked.

"Probably about ... two months ago? Right around the time everything else started to change."

"Change how?" Sam asked.

"Oh, let's just say this used to be a town ... you could be proud of. People ... cared about each other. Andy sang in the choir, and then one day, he just ... wasn't Andy anymore. It was like he was ..."

"Possessed?"

"You could say that. Gambled away his money, cheated on his wife, destroyed his business. Yes, like a switch had flipped."

"Father, did you know the man who killed those folks in the hobby shop?"

"Sure, Tony Perkins. Good man."

"Would you say that his personality suddenly changed one day, too? "

"I never thought about it that way, but... yes. about the same time as Andy — about two months ago."

"Well, thank you, Father. Appreciate your time." Dean said ending the conversation and leading us out the door.

"Two months ago, we open up the devil's gate, all of a sudden this town turns into Margaritaville? It's no coincidence." I said softly so that the father wouldn't overhear us. We went back to the hotel and Sam went to get us a room, just as he caught up and led us down the hall I spotted a familiar face.

"De… don't we know him?" I said pointing to the man in a sweat suit and fedora, cause ya know. That's stylish… Dumbass.

"Richie." Dean called, sure enough he looked up. "I don't believe it."

"Hey, Dean... Winchester, right? And the girl… Emily?"

"Yeah." Dean said, I smiled uncomfortably and went to stand closer to Sam. He shot me a sideways glance, I did my best to avoid eye contact and hide my discomfort. Guys a fucking perv.

Just as the thought crossed my mind some tall blonde skank came out of his room and held out her hand.

"This is my sister, uh, Cheryl."

"Hey." She said with a smile to Dean.

"Cheryl." Dean nodded wide eyed. Richie handed her some cash and she walked away, Dean and Richie both watched that ass till it turned around the corner.

"Well, you know... stepsister." Richie winked.

"Come on in. This is my brother, Sam." Dean said waving Richie over. Great. Sam opened the door all the way and moved to one side of the room. I positioned myself between Sam and the wall. Richie far away.

"Hey. How you doing?" He said shaking Sam's hand. "Emily, nice to see you again." He said making very brief eye contact, which I was thankful for. I nodded.

"Not too bad. How do you guys know each other? Sam asked.

"You were in school." Dean said.

"It was that succubus, in Canarsie right?" Richie asked.

"Yeah, yeah."

"Oh, man. You should have seen the rack on this broad. Freakin' tragedy when I had to gank her."

"Whoa, whoa. Wait. Who killed her? If I remember, your ass was toast until I showed up." Dean said pulling out of his suit jacket and tie.

"Oh, I forgot what a comedian this guy was. Huh Emily?"

"Yeah. He's down right hilarious." I said uncomfortably. Sam looked at me odd again, this time he caught my eyes and when I tried to look away he pulled my face back.

"What's wrong?" He whispered. I waved him off.

"I'll tell you later." I whispered back.

"Richie, Richie, know what? I told you then and I'll tell you again — you're not cut out for this job. You're gonna get yourself killed." Dean said, but Richie answered his phone instead of answering Dean.

"Talk to me." He said. "FYI Winchester- Words hurt…. Yeah… No, its not a good time babe, Later."

"So you find anything in this town, anyway?" Dean asked.

"Ah, no. I got nothing… Oh, wait a minute. You mean as in demons and whatnot?"

"Yeah." Sam sighed.

"No, I got nothing."

"Typical. What about your sister back there?"

"Oh, honestly? She definitely had the devil in her, but she wasn't no demon, you know what I'm saying?" Richie laughed and nodded to Dean. Dean didn't react this time. I was slightly impressed. "Right. Seriously. Church guy, hobby-shop guy — they were lunch meat by the time I got there. Hey maybe they were possessed, but I can't prove it."

"Yeah, that's where we are, too. You know, let's just say that demons are possessing people in this town. You know, raising hell—" Sam started.

"Yeah, but why would a demon blow his brains out?" Dean asked.

"Well, for fun? You know he wrecks one body, moves to another. You know, like taking a stolen car for a joyride." Richie answered.

"Anybody else left in the town that fits the profile — you know, nice guy turned douche, still breathing?"

"There's Trotter."

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"Well, he used to be head of the Rotary Club. And then people say he turned bastard all of a sudden? Brought in the gambling, the hookers. ... Ah, he practically owns this whole town."

"Know where we could find him?"

"Oh, he'll be at his bar in a few hours."

"Well then so will we." Dean smiled.

"Alright man, I just might see ya there." Richie winked before leaving.

"Man.." Dean laughed. "That guy sure is something."

"Yeah. Something." I mumbled.

"I'm hitting the shower, you two behave while I'm gone." Dean said. Sam rolled his eyes and I moved to start digging through my bag. Sam waited till Dean closed the door and the water turned on to come over and sit on my bags.

"Sammy! C'mon… I need a new shirt." I said pushing at him, but I was no match for his size.

"Not until you tell me what the hell that was all about, I mean. The guy's kinda trashy but he seemed harmless."

"Well then I'm sure he is." I said not meeting Sam's gaze and trying to dig into my bag underneath him.

"Emily. Talk to me… you froze when that guy came anywhere near you. What don't Dean and I know?"

"Sam… Its nothing."

"Well its enough to make you uncomfortable around the guy so its something. Talk to me Em… you're starting to worry me. Did he do something to you?"

I stayed silent and tried to walk away, but he quickly jumped up and grabbed my arm.

"Emily you tell me right now! Did that guy touch you?!"

"No! Sam.. No. He didn't… he just."

"Just what?"

"When we wrapped up the case with the succubus Dean invited him over for a few beers. Of course you know me, I thought it was cool to hang out with Dean and all his buddies so we sat around and I pretended to know half of what they were talking about. Then… Dean left the room for a few minutes. And. He just… started talking to me, and I thought it was cool that he was interested in my life and stuff, ya know? That he treated me like an actual hunter. But… then he started hitting on me. I mean the guys got like 15 years on me? Gross… So. Dean came back in the room and I was suddenly too tired to stay up. So I went to bed. Sorta. I mainly laid there and waited for the guy to leave and Dean to come to bed."

"So what you just never told Dean? He didn't catch on that something happened?"

"No. And we left town the next day so I never brought it up. I didn't want to be a burden about it. He seemed to really like the guy."

"Emily you have to tell him, that's not okay!"

"Sam no! It'll just ruffle Dean's feathers and I don't want to do that right now… Okay? Please. I'm just… I'm tired. I'm ready to end this case, and I just want to go back to finding a way to save his ass. Please. Just let it go."

"If he even looks at you sideways, you tell me!" Sam huffed angrily.

"Okay. I promise."

Sam pulled me against him protectively and turned his head towards the door.

"Don't bother… he's not worth it." I mumbled knowing what he was thinking.

"I mean it Emily. One look… he's dead."

"Okay." I chuckled and squeezed him like a teddy bear.

A few hours later we pulled up to the bar… well. More like the town hot spot. It was packed.

"I thought you said this was some boarded-up factory town." Dean said looking at the women around him. All dressed like skanks with their tits hanging out.

"It is. At least, it's supposed to be." Sam said looking around as well.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's do some research." Dean said excitedly following a small group of women with his eyes. As we walked a woman sitting in a parked car caught Dean's attention. She motioned for him to come over and he quickly obliged.

"Sam…" I sighed pointing at Dean. Sam rolled his eyes and reached over, pulling Dean back by the collar of his shirt.

When we walked in I instantly spotted Richie, as did Dean. He made a beeline for him and Sam and I followed, I shot Sam a pointed look. He rolled his eyes. Pleeeease. Don't let him make a scene.

"Oh, Richie. Look at you." Dean called over, taking in his bright orange shiny shirt. This guy dresses almost as disgusting as he acts.

"Hey." Richie said reaching out and Shaking Dean's hand.

"Bringing satin back?"

"Oh, you like this? Try Thai silk — Canal Street. You'd have to pay $300 for threads like these, easy. Cost to me — forget about it!"

"How much is "forget about it"?" Sam asked.

"Ah, forget about it. That's Trotter over there. He sits there all night. Can't touch him." Richie said pointing to a bald man in all black, surrounded by what appears to be his entourage.

"So, what do we do now?" I asked.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna do a little investigating with that bartender." Dean smiled, I turned to find a very attractive woman in all red behind the bar.

"Easy. Me and her, we got a little ... somethin'-somethin' lined up for later." Richie said catching his arm.

"Yeah, right." Dean said rolling his eyes.

"Stings, don't it? All right. I got to hit the head, release the hostages. Be back in a few."

I rolled my eyes and groaned in disgust.

"No way he gets a girl like that. I mean, look at her. You could fit that ass on a nickel." Dean said admiring the bartender again.

"You think so?" A voice called catching our attention, it was the Father.

"Oh!" Dean laughed. "Sorry, Padre."

"Knew you three would find your way here. They all do."

"No offense, but what are you doing here, Father?" I asked confused as he tipped his glass of whiskey.

"Like it or not, you go where your flock is."

The bartender walked over and poured him another round.

"Plus, the clergy drinks for free." She winked.

"True, and a certain bartender owes me a confession."

"Not in this lifetime, Father."

He smiled and tipped his glass, finishing it off.

"I better see your butt on Sunday." He pointed and told her, turning to Dean. "Nickel or no Nickel." He said before leaving. I chuckled.

"What can I get you?" She asked smiling.

"What's your specialty?" Dean asked coyly.

"I make a mean hurricane."

"I guess we'll see about that."

She grinned before leaving to make Dean's drink. I rolled my eyes at his cheesy game.

"You drink hurricanes?" Sam asked laughing.

"I do now."

I looked around the bar, taking in our surroundings, going back and forth from Trotter, to the pool tables, to the skanks at the table in the corner. Back to the pool tables… whoa. Wait. This guys' new… Gun.

"Hey." I said slapping Dean the chest. "Gun!" I said pointing to the man who quickly raised it and shot someone point blank in the head. Everyone screamed and Trotter stood, his henchmen surrounding him. The man aimed the gun at himself and Dean moved to tackle him. I ran over and watched as slam splashed holy water on him… no reaction. No demon.

"What are you doing?! …He slept with my wife. That bastard slept with my wife!" He man cried.

"Somebody call 911!" I hollered out, the bartender quickly complied.

An hour later the place was crawling with cops everywhere. Making me very nervous. Dean's still on the top of the FBI's wanted list.

"Too many cops here. I say we roll." Sam said speaking my thoughts.

"I'm with Sam."

"Just be cool. Poor jerk. Only thing possessing him was a sixer of Pabst." Dean told us, swinging an arm over me.

"So, what's the deal, then? People in this town getting possessed or not?" I asked.

"I don't know. Maybe it is just what it is — town full of scumbags."

"Yeah. Maybe." Sam said.

"You boys ready for your mug shots?" A voice called behind us, I spun to see a cop and tensed. Oh shit… "The photographer's gonna be here in a few, and ... take your picture for the local paper."

"Be an honor, Officer. What a thrill!" Dean said relieved as he squeezed my shoulders, releasing the tension.

"Yep, time to go." Sam said as the officer walked away.

"Wait a second. Wait a second." Dean called out.

"What now?" I said annoyed and ready to leave.

"Where's Richie?"

"I don't know! We'll call him from the motel! Lets go…" I pushed. Dean finally moved towards the door and we hauled ass back to the motel.

"Man I've called him 4 times… he's not answering. I'm gonna go knock on his door." Dean groaned.

"Dean I'm sure he's fine. He probably chased some tail back to her place." Sam told him.

"Yeah, he seems more concerned with getting laid then finding Demons anyways." I added.

"Em, you know the guy's a mess. We're gonna have to keep an eye on him."

"I'm not a babysitter Dean! Neither are you."

"Just, lock the door behind me. I'll be back." Dean groaned before leaving.

"Maybe if you told him what happened he wouldn't be so worried about the guy."

"Sam. Not the time." I said feeling a massive headache breaking its way through. I put my head in my hands and rubbed my temples.

"Why don't you pop an aspirin and take hot shower… your eyes are doing it again." He said getting quieter as he went.

"Great." I moaned. Rubbing my eyes.

"Just relax kiddo, here…" He came over and rubbed my back. Handing me an aspirin.

"Thanks Sammy." I smiled weakly and took his advice, grabbing a stiff white motel towel and my coconut body wash. I pulled up my hair since I had just washed it last night. The water took forever to warm up… but when it finally did I stood beneath it with the water running down my back and shoulders. It felt good… even with crappy water pressure just having the heat felt nice.

I stood there for a while, waiting for tension headache to fade away, but it never fully did. It just dulled. So I decided to get out and go to bed. Hoping that would fix it. When I stepped out Dean had brought back food from his run to check on Richie.

"So is he okay?" I asked sitting down and picking at my chicken strips.

"Don't know. He's not in his room… you're probably right. I'll call in the morning."

"I'm sure he's fine Dean." Sam said encouragingly, biting into his food.

"You feel okay kiddo?" Dean asked me.

"I just have a headache… I think I'm gonna go to bed."

"Emily you barely ate."

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm just not hungry. I'll eat a big breakfast. I promise."

Dean stared at me concerned for a moment.

"You know there was time where you could even out do me when it came to eating… you've barely eaten for the last few weeks. Your clothes are looser. I'm serious. You need to eat."

"Dean. Can we not do this right now?" I sighed letting my head fall to the table. I'm so sick of having this discussion! Emily you're not eating! Emily you're not sleeping! Emily are you okay? Emily how are you feeling… just FUCK! Excuse me for being a little stressed out and preoccupied at the moment.

"Well when's a good time for you then, huh? When is it a good time for me to be worried about you. I'm so sorry its an inconvenience but I care. I'm always going to care. Suck it up buttercup."

"How about when you're not here to worry anymore?" I shot back, he looked away from me.

"Yeah. Thought so. I'm going to bed." I got up and walked away. Popping in my headphones to fall asleep with.

(Dean's POV)

I watched her put in her headphones and lay down in the bed. Just like that… she used to never walk away. She used to hate it when we fought. She used to stay up and not be able to sleep cause she couldn't stand us being mad at each other… now she just walks away from me. I don't know what to do anymore… I don't know how to push hard enough without pushing too hard.

When did this become so difficult? When did I lose my little Emily?

"Dean." Sam's voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"You think you could have done that a little less aggressively?"

"Dammit Sam. I don't know what you want me to do? I mean are you okay with her not eating?! Barely sleeping? I mean you see her every day just like me! Doesn't it drive you crazy watching her down spiral like this?"

"Of course it does. Dean it breaks my heart… but unlike you I understand where it all comes from. I understand how she feels. I'm dealing in my own way and as much as I hate it I have to let her deal in hers. Pushing her won't help this time… it just won't. You'll just lose her for the time you have left."

"Whatever…" I groaned, stabbing my fork back into my food.

"You know she doesn't like Richie."

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Richie. He makes her uncomfortable."

"Oh whatever. He's harmless."

"Well she doesn't feel that way Dean." He paused and looked over at her sleeping on the bed. "He made a pass at her last time you worked with him."

"Yeah. I know."

"Wait. You know? Then how is the guy still breathing?" Sam asked me confused. I chuckled.

"I asked him to hit on her. I wanted to see what she'd do. I set the whole thing up, he was never gonna actually do anything."

"Dean. Why the hell would you do that to her?" Sam asked me angrily.

"Whoa man chill… She started paying attention to boys all of a sudden. Everywhere she went she was looking at them and they were looking at her and I didn't like it. Thought maybe I could scare her off of em for a couple more years."

"Well I guess that didn't work." Sam sighed.

"Nope. Apparently just made her scared of Richie." I laughed. That's hilarious that anyone, especially Em would be scared of him.

"So he's really not a douche then?"

"No man, not at all. He's actually hilarious when you sit down and talk with him."

"Well you should tell Emily. Because she can't stand to be around him. She practically hid behind me when you invited him over."

"Hm. Guess I didn't notice." I shrugged. I guess she had been a little quieter than usual.

"Alright, I'm going to bed… you should too. You wanna share with her or what?"

"Yeah I will. Night Sammy."

"Night." He said standing and going to get ready for bed in the bathroom. I sipped my beer and stared at the bed with my sleeping sister in it. I just. I don't know what else to do with her. I'm not used to her fighting me like this. I'm not used to her pushing me away. I hate it. All of it. I just want her to trust me again… but I guess I also understand why she won't. I've made the ultimate betrayal in her mind. I just wish she knew I did this for her and Sammy… for them to live. To have a chance at life. I couldn't let him die. I just couldn't.

I climbed into bed and laid on my back, staring up at the dark ceiling. The bed next to me shifted, and an unconscious Emily slid next to me, nuzzling her head into my shoulder. I could hear her music still playing… Don't Fear The Reaper. At least my good taste in music rubbed off on her. I reached over and shut off her ipod, pulling the headphones off and sliding them onto the night stand, letting her nuzzle against my body heat. Her hands were freezing. Like her blood wasn't circulating enough, a side effect of being exhausted I'm sure.

As are the dark circles permanently placed under her eyes these days.

The dullness in her skin.

The lack of spark in her eyes.

I miss her. I miss seeing my Emily, happy, confident, and ready to take on anything…. What have I done to this poor girl.

I ran my hand along the side of her face, noticing her forehead start to wrinkle in discomfort. It didn't help, it only wrinkled more. As if she was in pain.

"Noo…Mmmm." She moaned in her sleep.

"Shhh." I whispered, hoping it would calm her, but it didn't. Her forehead began to slightly shine in the dark room, a sheen of sweat covering her.

"Noo.. Please." She cried. God please… let them stop. All of these nightmares that keep her awake. I just want them to go away. To let her rest.

"Emily babygirl… its okay." I whispered. "Shhh."

She stilled for a moment, but they must have hit her with a vengeance because she cried out, begging for someone to stop. I have no idea what she sees… what she's feeling. What scares her so much.

"Emily its okay, you're okay." I tried to tell her, pushing her hair back and wrapping her against me, but the tighter I held the more she pulled away, as if someone in her dreams was restraining her.

"Dean, is she having another one?" Sam asked groggily.

"Yeah, she's fine. I got her." I said, but he sat up and flipped on the light.

"Emily, wake up babygirl… its okay." I said sitting up and shaking her gently.

"No! NO! Please stop! Stop it!" She cried out. "You're hurting him! Pleeease!" She sobbed until they became whispers.

"Emily! C'mon babygirl wake up. I'm here. Its okay." I said shaking her a little harder.

"Sam, get me some cold water." I told him, he came back with a small cup, I took it and poured some into my hands. Hate to do this to you kiddo, but… I gotta wake you up. I splashed the cold water against her face and she flew upwards, gasping for air like she had been drowning.

"Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down kiddo. Its just us." I said grabbing her shoulders, Sam sat in front of her, steadying her so she didn't fall out of the bed.

"De-d-d-dean. The-they are c-c-c-oming." She sobbed. Frantically looking around the room.

"Who Em? Who's coming?" Sam asked her gently.

"I-I-I… I can he-hear the b-b-barking." She sobbed. Dammit… hellhounds. I'd be lying if I said I didn't hear them barking in my nightmares too… but she shouldn't be the one facing these. This should be my burden. Not hers.

"No, no sweetheart. They're not coming. We're safe. Dean's okay, look." Sam said grabbing her face and turning her towards me. "See, he's okay. You're okay… its just a dream. It's over Em."

"N-n-nooo… they're gon-gonna find us!" She said, taking in short shallow breaths.

"No, babygirl. We're okay. Look at me." I said pulling her towards me but she pulled away.

"No! They- they want you!... R-R-uby… sh-she's ba-bad." I shot Sam a look, he looked back at me concerned, confused. I knew this bitch was bad news.

"Kiddo calm down. Slow breaths… okay? We are okay. I promise."

"I-I- I want to go, c-can we le-leave?" She asked between breaths.

"No sweetheart, we gotta finish the case." Sam told her softly, pulling her in, she didn't fight him…

"S-s-am." She cried.

"Yeah Em, I'm here." He told her soothingly.

"Th-they're gon-gonna take him a-a-away. I-I can't sa-a-a-ve hi-him." She sobbed against him.

I can't watch this… I can't. Do this. THIS… the nightmares, the panic attacks. THIS. Is on me… and I hate it. I shut my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. Trying to think of a way to stop these, to help her.

"Emily you gotta breathe." Sam whispered to her, sitting her up, I leaned her backwards against my arm and the headboard.

"Slow breaths kiddo, slow down."

She shook her head no.

"C'mon kiddo. You can do it… one breath. Long and slow." I whispered.

She struggled for a minute but finally got one, and then two… and as she started to calm down Sam looked at me, eyes full of pity, before moving back to his own bed and turning off the light. I pulled Emily against me and slumped us back down into the bed, wrapping her in the blankets against me. She hiccupped until her body finally wore out and she fell asleep… I stayed up for a while. Making sure she wouldn't have another one, not that there's much I can do to stop them right now, but… part of me hopes just being here, holding her. That it will help for now. It was always enough before… why can't it be enough now?

(EMILY'S POV)

The next morning was quiet… I vaguely remembered waking up screaming about the hellhounds. Seeing Ruby there. Laughing. I see them so often, its almost like a normal thing now. I thought I was hiding it pretty well, but I guess the cats out of the bag now.

Dean barely looked at me, when he did his face was smothered in guilt. Which was even worse than the nightmares. I just wish it would all go away. Why can't we just run away? Just get away from all the demons, the monsters, the people… everything. I just wanna run away. Dean left to get coffee, I curled up on the couch, turning on the TV for mindless distraction. But it doesn't help.

"Em." Sam said coming up behind me, startling me. "Sorry kiddo, didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no its okay." I told him.

"We need to talk."

"About?"

"Last night… Em you said you saw Ruby? What did you see?"

I sighed heavily. I don't want to think about it.

"We're in this house… fighting, Ruby? I guess. That's how it seems at least. And… hell hounds. They're trying to get in, and Ruby, She just.. lets them in. They just rip him to shreds." I said ending in whispers, feeling tears sting my eyes again at the thought. My Dean… my brother.

"How many times have you had this same dream."

"… A few. Since we met Ruby. Its always the exact same place. Everytime I try something different… but I can never save him in time. They just. Kill him." I choked slightly. "Sam… his screams. I can hear them all night in my head."

"Emily sweetheart, why didn't you tell me?" Sam said kneeling in front of me.

"Because. What good would that do? What can you do to stop them? Nothing… Why put that on anyone else? I mean Dean can hardly look at me. That's what I didn't want. I'm so sick of you two being worried about me and not focusing on finding a way to get Dean out of this. I don't want to be a distraction."

"Emily, you and I are trying our best every day to save him. But you can't keep this stuff to yourself. You said you'd talk to us. We need you to mean it. You can't hide this stuff from us."

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Its okay, just… don't hide this stuff. Tell us."

"Okay. Can we get off the subject now?"

"Yeah, yeah… so do you really think Ruby is trouble?"

"I don't know Sam…"

"Well. Lets just keep you away from her for now, okay?"

"Fine by me."

The door opened, catching our attention. It was Dean. He walked in, set down the coffee, and brought me over a water bottle. He smiled slightly. I grabbed his arm and pulled him down to sit next to me. I just… need to hear his heartbeat. Need to know that he's still here. He didn't resist or question me at all, he just opened his arms and grabbed the remote, and turned up some Jerry Springer. We spent the next few hours laughing at trashy individuals doing fake fist fights and flashing their boobs for beads. It was nice, it was easy… it was much needed.

Sam suggested we head to the bar for lunch, he wanted to drop in on Trotter again.

"How many times i got to tell Richie, he's gonna get himself in trouble?" Dean sighed as he dialed his number again.

"Dean, you're assuming he's missing. I mean, maybe he just bailed." I said.

"He's a moron. I mean, he's a sweet moron, but he's not a coward. He wouldn't just bail. I got to go find him."

"All right. Meanwhile I think I'm gonna trail this Trotter guy." Sam spoke up.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I don't know. Something about the way he looked at me last night. Maybe there is something going on here. Em you going with Me or Dean?"

"Sorry De, I'm with Sammy on this one." I said kissing his cheek and getting up.

"Alright, you keep your phone on you, if I call, you answer."

"Sir yes sir." I said giving a salute before following Sam out the door.

"So where we headed Sammy?"

"Trotter's business office. See what he's hiding."

"Lead the way…"

I followed Sam down the street for a few blocks. Getting into the office building was as easy as opening the door and following the sound of voices. I gotta say I was kinda surprised this place wasn't guarded. We rounded to corner and Sam put out his hand to stop me, then he jumped as his phone began to vibrate.

"Dean?" He answered hushed. "Yeah, hey I can't talk right now… Yeah no she's fine, we're fine. Meet you at the bar in 20 minutes okay?"

He hung up the pohne and stood watch as we waited for Trotter and his goons to make their way out of the office, Sam pushed us up against the wall as they walked past the hallway we were ducking in. When the coast was clear he grabbed my arm and led me into the office.

"Emily, go check the closet." He said as he started rummaging through the desk. I ran over, pushing coats out of the way, trying to find some sort of hidden safe in the back, but I was coming up empty handed. The sound of a fight breaking out caught my attention and I turned to see Sam fight with one of Trotter's henchmen, winning. I moved forward and pulled my gun, but someone came up behind me. I could feel the barrel of a gun being pressed against the back of my neck.

"What are you doing here?" A deep voice asked. Sam stood slowly. His arms raised in surrender.

"Just… take it easy." He said out of breath.

"I think maybe you know." I growled.

"Yeah? Well, I think I'm calling the cops! "

"Wait… the cops?" I asked confused. I swapped glances with Sam, who was also confused.

"Breaking and entering, assault — you're in a peck of trouble, my friend."

"Uh, wh-, uh ... I think I could probably explain it—" Sam fumbled his words, I caught his eye and winked twice. He nodded, I turned and knocked the gun from the man, who I now know is Trotter, and raised mine.

"All right, back up! Get back." I said, pointing the gun between him and his henchman.

"Money's in the safe! Take it and go." He called with his hands raised.

"I don't want your money. I just got to be sure." Sam called, splashing them with holy water. They looked as confused as we did minutes ago.

"What kind of psycho are you?" Trotter called.

"Oh, god. Uh ... I'm sorry. Heh ... I ... think this was just a minor misunderstanding?... Yeah, okay, ummm ... How 'bout I just ... i just leave, 'cause ..." Sam stuttered, he pulled the gun out of my hands. I backed away slowly.

"I'll take these." He said nervously emptying the bullets out of the gun and laying it down.

"Okay, I'll, uh, I'll leave this for, uh ... you, uh ... Have a nice day?"

We high tailed it, completely embarrassed, damn near jogging back to the bar.

"Smooth move ex-lax." I said out of breath.

"Shut up… you thought they were demons too." He said shoving me.

"Come on… we gotta get Dean."

(Dean's POV)

I followed Casey into her parent's house. Letting her think she has me fooled.

"Make yourself comfortable." She said kissing me.

"Oh, I forgot to mention ... Richie was a friend of mine. When I realized I could track the GPS in his cellphone, I swung by earlier. Give him a proper burial. It's better than rotting in some skank's basement."

Casey launched herself at me, but was stopped. I smiled.

"Oops." I said kneeling down and revealing the devil's trap under the rug. "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Isn't that a buzz kill? Sorry, sister, but you're going back to where you came from."

"I don't think so." I laughed.

"Spiritus immunde, undolara. Pasonitote ..." I began reading from the exorcism in the book.

She closed her eyes, and a breeze began to blow through the room.

"Spiritus immunde, undo—" The pages flying out of my book stopped me. Son of a bitch… Casey looks up with a grin as the floor begins to crack, the bricks leading down to and around the basement began to crumble and the door caved in. Shit!

"What are you laughing at, bitch? You're still trapped." I told her.

"So are you... bitch."

I turned, lighting some candles and trying to find a way through the rubble.

"Lose something?" She asked sarcastically.

"All you demons have such smart mouths."

"It's a gift."

"Yeah, well. Let's see if you're smiling when I send your ass back to Hell."

"Without your little exorcism book? Hey, go ahead."

"Spiritus immunde ... un, guh ..." FUCK!

"Having a little trouble there, sport?"

Spiritus immunde, undolare, Pasonitote…" DAMMIT!

"Nice try, but I think ... you just ordered a pizza. Guess you should have paid more attention in Latin class."

"Hey, I don't know what you're smiling about. You're not going anywhere."

"And, apparently, neither are you."

"Yeah, but I got somebody coming for me, and, uh... they did pay attention in class.

"Oh, right — Sam and Emily. Everyone says he's the brains of the outfit, and she's the tag along. The beloved babysister."

"Everyone?" I asked curiously.

"Sure. You Winchester boys are famous. Not Lohan famous, but, you know..."

"Well, that's ... flattering. I'll be sure to let Sam know when he gets here."

"If he shows up first." She caught my surprised look. "What, you thought I was flying solo? You shouldn't underestimate, Dean, it might be the death of you… You can give me hard eyes all you want, but the fact remains, we just have to wait and see who shows up first- The cavalry ... or the Indians."

I rolled my eyes and moved to the opening in the room, hoping that my phone can get a signal.

"Why don't you relax?" Casey called out, getting comfortable on the rug in the floor.

"Why don't you kiss my ass?"

"Why, Dean, you're a poet. I had no idea. Look, we won't have any effect on the outcome of this. We might as well be civil."

"Civil, huh? Killing Richie — that was, that was civil? The guy was harmless."

"That knife he pulled on me? Didn't look so harmless."

"Ah, a knife wouldn't hurt you."

"No, but it would damage this body. And Casey has such a fine body, I wouldn't want to see it ripped."

"A demon with a heart. Wow." I laughed. "Well, you know, there's a bunch of dead people in town that might disagree with you."

"Hey, I didn't pull any triggers."

"Yeah? You did something."

"You want to know what I did — what I really did? I had lunch."

"Lunch?" I asked confused… I hope she isn't fixing to go into a spill about eating people's guts.

"Me and Trotter. He had a cheeseburger, I had a salad, and I just pointed out the money that could be made with a few businesses that cater to harmless vice. So Trotter built it, and, man, did they come. Supposedly God-fearing folk, waist-deep in booze, sex, gambling. I barely lifted a finger."

"That's it?"

"You don't get it. All you got to do is nudge humans in the right direction. Some whiskey here, a hooker there, and they'll walk right into hell with big, fat smiles on their faces. Your kind is corrupt, Dean. Weak… Our will's stronger. That's why we'll win."

"And that's how it ends? All of it?"

"No. That's how it begins."

"So, demons take over. I thought the meek shall inherit the earth."

"Oh, according to your Bible." I looked at her oddly. "It's only a book, Dean."

"Not everyone would agree. Emily and Sam wouldn't.

"Because it's God's book? Do you believe in God, Dean? I'd be surprised if you did."

"I don't know. I'd like to."

"Well, I don't see how you and your God, have done such a bang-up job. War, genocide — it's only getting worse. I mean, this past century, you people racked up a body count that amazed even us. It's our turn now, and we're gonna do it right this time."

A noise caught my attention and I looked up towards the grate in the top of the room.

"Don't be hopeful, Dean. You're not delivered. It's only the wind."

"You know, you're piling it pretty high there, sweetheart. I'm not sure I'm buying."

"Why would I lie?"

"Demons lie."

"Some do. Some are true believers."

"Believers in what?"

"What, you think humans have an exclusive on a higher power?"

"You have a god?" I asked shocked.

"Sure. His name's Lucifer."

"You mean the Devil?" I scoffed.

"Your word, not ours. Lucifer actually means "light bringer." Look it up. Once he was the most beautiful of all God's angels, But God demanded that he bow down before Man, and when he refused, God banished him. Tell me, Dean. How do you like bowing before lesser creatures?"

"Lucifer's really real?" If he's real… if he's an angel… what else is real? What else is out there.

"Well, no one's actually seen him, but they say that he made us into what we are, and they say that he'll return."

"Oh, yeah? And, uh, you believe that?"

"I've got faith."

"Mmm." I mused… still stuck on the thought that the devil might be real.

"So, you see? Is my kind really all that different than yours?"

"Well, except that, uh, demons are evil."

"…and humans are such a lovable bunch… Dick Cheney."

"He one of yours" I asked hopeful.

"Not yet. Let's just say he's got a parking spot reserved for him downstairs."

"Hey, speaking of downstairs ... what's it like down there?" I asked hesitantly. Not sure if I really want to know the answer to the question that I couldn't stop myself from asking. Without Sam or Emily here… I can actually think about what this means for me… talk about it realistically. I know there's no saving me.

"What, Hell?"

"Yeah."

"That's right. You booked a one-way ticket with that deal. You're not gonna like it, Dean. And, um, judging from the trouble you've caused, I don't think you'll be getting the presidential suite."

"So not all its cracked up to be then?"

"No, it's a pit of despair. Why do you think we want to come here?" She said sadly. I felt my soul being crushed just a little.

"So I guess I should enjoy myself while I can then huh?"

"Yeah. I guess you should… cling to the ones you love. Because when you see them again it won't be in the way you want. They'll just be used to torture you more."

"Well. That sounds exciting." I sighed.

"Kind of funny, don't you think? You and me sitting here like a couple of regular folk."

"Yeah, it's hilarious, you know, in that ... apocalyptic sort of way."

"You're all right, Dean. The others don't describe you that way. But, you know, you're — you're likable."

"A demon likes me… Sorry, I don't know how to respond to that."

"You could say thanks." She paused… "That deal you made to save Sam — a lot of others would mock you for it, think it was weak or stupid. I don't."

"It's been kind of liberating, actually. Y'know, what's the point in worrying about a future, when you don't have one?"

"You don't have to lie to me… I know you worry about them."

"Yeah well. Always have always will I guess."

"Still, a year left. You're not scared?"

"Nah."

"Not even a little?"

"Of course not." I lied.

(EMILY'S POV)

"Sam… I called Bobby. He's on his way."

"Good. Lets see if we can narrow down where Dean might be before he gets here. Did he say the colt is working?"

"Yeah, actually it is… Hey Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"You know… if the colts working. Maybe we could uh."

"Yeah. I know. Use it on the demon, try break the deal. Way ahead of ya kiddo."

"Think it'll work?"

"I think it worked with that Evan guy. Dean trapped her, she broke the deal. No harm no foul. Maybe we can do the same."

I felt it. Hope. Swell up in my chest. I want this… so. SO bad.

(DEAN'S POV)

Casey stretched out, laying in the floor… her hot body extending and raising slightly off the ground. I just can't help but look… Damn. Demons sure can pick em.

"Why, Dean, if I didn't know better, I'd say that was lust in your eyes." She smiled. "Well, it would be one way to spend the time ... but I don't think you'd respect me in the morning."

"That's okay. I mean, hey, I barely respect you now… Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"I'm an open book."

"So, the gate opened. The demon army was let out. What now, huh? I'm not seeing a big, honking plan here."

"Honestly, there was a plan. Azazel was a tyrant, but ... he held us all together."

"Azazel?"

"What, you think his friends just called him "yellow eyes"? He had a name. After you did him in, it all fell apart."

"Sorry about that." I said with a grin. "So, what? No chain of command?"

"There was. It was Sam… Or Emily. But really Sam was supposed to be the grand pooh-bah and lead the big army, but ... he hasn't exactly stepped up to the plate, has he? And even though Emily's fire has been lit… she doesn't know what the hell to do with it. So I don't see her stepping up to the plate anytime soon anyways. Honestly I never understood why he even bothered with her. He had the children he needed… its like she was his little experiment. A twist in the game. But. Neither of them seems to be interested in taking over."

"Thank God for that."

"Again with God. You think this is a good thing? Now you've got chaos, a war without a front, hundreds of demons all jockeying for power, all fighting for the crown. Most of them gunning for your brother and sister. For the record, I was ready to follow Sam. Emily I wasn't sure about, but Sam. I was okay with that plan."

"Dean?!" I heard Sam's voice calling from outside.

"Looks like you win." Casey smiled.

"Sam! Em!"

"Dean?" Emily's voice called out.

"Sammy, down here! The basement caved in!"

"Dean. Hey, hold on, okay? We're coming. They're coming around the other side." He said with Bobby standing next to him.

"Who's they?"

"Emily and Father Gil. He helped us find you."

I turned to look at Casey, who's face lit up… dammit. No no no no!

"Dammit Sam go get Emily now! Its him! He's a demon!"

Sam's face flickered to fear before he darted, colt in hand. Bobby stayed behind with me.

(EMILY'S POV)

"Are you sure there's a way in over here?" I asked the Father as I shook the locked door, when I turned. Black eyes stared at me.

He grabbed me by the neck and with one hand he pushed the door open, then the basement door, and as he dragged me down, fighting the whole damn way, he moved piles of rock leading down the steps. Until finally we were in the basement.

"De!" I yelled catching a glimpse.

"Emily! You let her go! No-" Dean was flung backwards into the wall with the wave of a hand.

"Stop!" The bartender yelled. She pointed to the devil's trap. He looked at her, threw me to the side, I fell over coughing and trying to drag oxygen into my lungs. He leaned down and slammed down his fists, cracking the floor and breaking the devil's trap. Dammit… They quickly embraced and began to make out.

"Ew.." I groaned. I looked over and Dean was getting to his feet, looking as disgusted as I was at the site before him.

"You two?" He asked.

"For centuries. We've been to hell and back, literally." The father said passionately.

"Leave him be." The bartender told him softly. I was surprised. The father stepped forward and lifted Dean by his neck.

"Don't kill him. Let's just go." She begged. Wait a fucking second! Since when do demons fight FOR us instead of against us?

"Please." She pleaded. Just as I watched in shock at the hesitation on his face… gun fire went off from behind me. The Father dropped Dean as lightning ran through his body, until he collapsed to the floor, I turned to see Sam holding the colt, when I turned back Dean looked at him in shock. He moved to point it at Casey.

"Sam, wait!" Dean shouted, but Sam shot her between the eyes… her body fell next to the Father's. Sam showed no remorse. His face was angry… vicious. Dean and I swapped concerned looks, he finally stood and made his way over to us. Checking me for bruises. When he was satisfied with my current condition he walked us outside to meet with Bobby… we hauled ass back to the motel.

It was quiet the rest of the night… I asked Sam if he was okay. He said he was, I could tell that whole "feel no remorse" thing had worn off. He was beating himself up. My poor Sammy. I know I haven't made things easy on him or Dean lately… but especially Sam. He's losing his brother too. Not just me. I know he's scared too. Stressed out. I just… Wish we could go back to normal again.

But I guess we never were normal, were we?

"C'mon Em, lights out. I'm beat."

"De. I worry about him."

"I worry about both of you." Dean retorted.

"Well I worry about both of you."

"Guess its just the Winchester way huh?"

"Yeah I guess so." I said plopping down on the bed next to him.

"Em. Can I ask you something? And you answer it honestly?"

"Maybe." I whispered.

"How long have you been having nightmares about hell hounds?"

"…Since the day he came back." I sighed. Dean wrapped an arm around me, pulling me down beside him.

"Kiddo you can't let this ruin your life. I get its hard, I know you are… broken. Right now. But you gotta push to get back up and put yourself back together. I'm leaving. Okay? There's nothing we can do about it."

"Dean… don't."

"No. Listen to me for once. Stop running out on our conversations. I'm serious. Okay? I'm gonna die. Its happening Emily. So I am doing my damnedest to fix what part of you I can, but you've gotta help me. You gotta stop resisting. Emily. I can't go to hell and have my last thoughts be worrying that you won't be able to pull out of this. For me… I'm asking. Try. Please… try and get a grip on all this. Because as much as Sam wants to think he can, he can't fix it. Not this time. I need you both to accept it, and move on. So I can die in peace. Please."

I stared at him… unable to find words to respond. How… how can he ask me that? How can he expect me to just… drop it? He got his moment to be selfish when he made this deal. Well this is mine.

"No." I said firmly.

"What?" He asked, surprised.

"I said no. I won't. And if you honestly thought for one second you could get me to stop trying to save you with one little late night chat then you aren't the man that raised me. If you honestly thought your little speech was going to break me, then you don't know me at all. I'm fixing this. Sam and I, WE. Are going to fix this… I don't understand why you won't help us? Why do you want to die SO badly?"

I shook my head and pulled away, getting out of the bed.

"Emily, come back…" Dean said getting up.

"NO!" I turned and yelled to him, tears fighting their way to the surface. I swallowed the lump and shook my head, turning away from him and stalking out the door, grabbing my bag… and a little something extra on the way out.

"Emily! Stop!" Dean called after me.

"Dammit Dean! I swear if you follow me I will put a bullet in your knee cap! I just need to take a walk… so please. Go to bed. I'll be back in an hour." I said slamming the door behind me.

I half waited to hear him rip it back open, half cheered at the fact that he didn't.

Then I looked down at the item I shoved into my bag, the colt was heavy. Not only because it was a big gun, but because this is my chance. I quickly made my way out the door of the motel, pulling Dean's keys that I also snaked.

I drove to the nearest crossroads, and used one of our old photos to summon the demon. I buried he box and looked around frantically, making sure the colt was tucked into my waistband with easy access. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Waiting…

"Come talk to me bitch." I mumbled. A female voice caused me to spin, my eyes landing on a beautiful brunette with eyes blacker than the sky above us.

"Well. I gotta admit… you're not the Winchester I was expecting."


	47. Chapter 47

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry it took a while to update, I've picked up some extra shifts, I'm hoping to buy a ticket for SPNCON in Dallas this year! Ahh! I hope you guys like the twist on this chapter, and our new found friend! Let me know! Reviews push me to write better and more often! Also….. I'm fiddling with the idea of a second story, this one wouldn't be a sisfic, and it would be with the current seasons and not start back at the beginning, actually, I'm thinking its not gonna really follow the story line at all, but more like become its own story line… I have some great ideas bursting in my head. Scenes I'd love to write, a new character I'd love to show to you guys. I don't know. I don't want to push this story aside, so I don't know if I want to tackle two at once. Just thought I'd get everyone's opinion. Thanks so much to Ladysunshine6 for always pushing and encouraging me! You are an amazing person. AKF!

Disclaimer: I think I've been forgetting to add these, but in ALL of my chapters past present and future, I do not own Sam, Dean, or any of the supernatural storylines/characters. I do however own my Emily.

I tapped my foot over and over and over again rapidly… trying to settle my nerves. Dammit I wish they'd just shut up… they're so loud I can hear them over my music.

"I don't understand, Dean. Why not?" Sam said angrily.

"Because I said so."

"We got the Colt now!"

"Sam..." Dean was warning him not to keep going, but like me. Sam just doesn't know when to stop.

"We can summon the Crossroads Demon…"

Dean's voice cut in, they talked over each other getting loud and louder.

"We're not summoning anything!"

"...pull the gun on her, and force her to let you out of the deal!"

"We don't even know if that'll work!"

I already know… I've already done it…

"Well then we'll just shoot her! If she dies then the deal goes away!"

"We don't know if that'll work either, Sam! All you're pitching me right now is a bunch of "ifs" and "maybes" and that's not good enough, because if we screw with this deal, you die!"

"And if we don't screw with it, you die!"

"Sam, enough! I am not going to have this conversation."

"Why, because you said so?"

"YES, BECAUSE I SAID SO!" Dean screamed.

"Well you're not Dad!"

"OH MY GOD THAT'S IT! BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

They both scoffed, and stared at each other.

"No, but I am the oldest. And I'm doing what's best. And you're going to let this go, you understand me?"

"DEAN! I said stop! Swap subjects! NOW."

"Tell me about the psychotic killer." Dean mumbled. Sam didn't respond." C'mon, Sam, tell me about the psychotic killer."

Sam irritably picked up the paper and began to read the words monotonously.

"Psychotic killer… rips victims apart with brute-like ferocity."

"Okay, any mention of his razor sharp teeth or his four-inch claws? Animal eyes?" Dean asked.

"No. But the lunar cycle's right. Look, if it is a werewolf we don't have long, moon's full this Friday and that's the last time it changes for a month."

"Two days, no sweat."

The car fell silent… finally. I picked up my phone and texted Sam: I already tried… summoned the demon two nights ago. It doesn't work. Nothing worked.

I hesitated over the send button… thinking long and hard about that night.

(FLASHBACK)

"Well. I gotta admit… You're not the Winchester I was expecting."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"No, its fine… had I known it was you I would've found a vessel that was more your type. I don't suppose you have a thing for brunettes with big tits."

"Not exactly, but I'll get over it."

"So what can I do for you sweet little Emily?"

I pulled the colt out, cocking it and aiming it directly at her head. She didn't even blink.

"You can beg for your life." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"We were having such a nice conversation. Then you had to go and ruin the mood. I thought you'd enjoy a little girl time, don't you get tired of being with those smelly boys all the time?"

"If I were you, I'd drop the wisecracks and start acting scared."

"It's not my style… That's not the original Colt. Where did you get that?"

"A friend." I smiled.

"Ruby. Had to be. She is such a pain in my ass."

"Well that's one thing we have in common."

"She'll get what's coming to her... you can count on it."

"So what she's on our side?" I asked, hoping to get an answer that would validate why she's helping us.

"Not a chance hunny, Ruby is on her own side." Dammit.

"Okay that's enough small talk. I came here to make you an offer."

"You're gonna make ME an offer? That's adorable." She laughed.

"You can let Dean out of his deal right now. He lives, Sam lives, I live. You live. Everyone goes home happy. Or..." I smiled tilting the gun again. "You stop breathing. Permanently."

"Oh." She laughed. "All this tough talk. I have to tell you, it's not very convincing. I mean, come on Emily. You're a wreck. I can smell it from a mile away. All that self loathing… fear… rage. You're basically held together by bandaids right now. "

"Whats your point? Don't think I'll pull the trigger?"

"No… that's not what I'm saying. I'm just saying you wreak of desperation, so I'm gonna need a little more then the threat on my life to keep me here, cause let me tell you. I got places to be."

"Fine. Take me… I'll trade him."

"Hahaha, what would I want with you?"

"I'm powerful and you know it."

"I'll tell you what I know… I know you're a wild card. You're not the one we wanted. Sam was. As far as I'm concerned you're a liability, an annoyance, but not one that I can't live with. So sorry… I'll take big brother instead. I mean have you seen him? He's delicious." She licked her lips. I had to choke back the puke that made its way up my throat.

"All right, I've had enough of your crap. You let Dean out of his deal right now." I said taking two steps towards her.

"Sorry sweetheart, but your brother's an adult. He made that deal of his own free will, fair and square. It's iron clad."

"Every deal can be broken."

"Not this one."

"What do you want?! Anything…"

"Is there anything really worth trading Dean Winchester for?"

"Tell me what you want!"

"I want Sam to step up… lead us. Get me the boy king, and I'll think about letting Dean-o live."

"He would never do that."

"Well, then I guess we're shit outta luck."

"Fine. Then I'll kill you. If you're gone, so's the deal." Its my last resort, but I'll take it.

"Guess again." She laughed.

No… no please no.

"What?" I asked, trying to force myself not to show my fear.

"I'm just a saleswoman. I got a boss like everybody. He holds the contract, not me. He wants Dean's soul, bad. And believe me. He's not going to let it go. Not even for you."

"You're bluffing." I demanded. Feeling every inch of hope I had tucked away slip from my fingertips. This was supposed to work. Dammit! I need this to work!

"Am I? Shoot me, if it'll get you off. But the deal still holds, and when Dean's time is up, he's getting dragged into the pit by hounds… they'll rip him apart while he screams your name."

"Shut up!" I yelled, the ground beneath us shook slightly. "Who's your boss?! Who holds the contract?"

"He's not as cuddly as me, I can tell you that."

"I said who is it?" I growled.

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry Emily. But there's no way outta this one. Not this time."

For a second she looked genuinely sorry.

"Can you give him more time?" I whispered, feeling a tear fall down my face.

"No. Its out of my hands… don't shoot the messenger."

I lowered the gun slowly. Feeling myself slowly losing control. I looked down and away from her.

"You made this deal with him… didn't you? You were there?"

"I was."

"Then this is partially your fault." I whispered.

"Hey, your brother made the deal. I just carried the papers."

I felt it bubbling up… the power. The anger... The ground around us shook, trees blowing in the wind that appeared out of nowhere.

"What the hell is this?" She asked nervously.

"You… you did this. You sealed the deal." I said lifting my hand, as I did her body lifted up and off the ground, choking.

"P-ple-please." She gasped. With the twist of my hand I watched the life fade out of her body before it fell to the ground. I walked over and kneeled over her body.

"You. You are the one who made this deal possible. You are the one allowed this. Never again."

I stood and walked back to the impala, letting my anger overshadow the guilt that pulled at me for killing the innocent women locked away while the demon controlled her body. But I couldn't just let her go. Couldn't let her get away with it.

(Present time)

I swallowed and sighed… pushing the green button that read "send."

I could hear Sam's phone buzz from the backseat. I sat there. Waiting for him to read it. When he finished his eyes shot to the mirror, meeting mine. Looking… pissed. Disappointed. Scared.

Sorry to ruin your fun there Sammy. But it didn't work… he looked down and my phone buzzed moments later.

Sam: We need to talk, asap.

Grrrreat.

We drove for a couple more hours before we came to a gas station and Dean ran in to pay for gas.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sam spun in his seat.

"What? Like you weren't gonna summon the demon anyways? Even though Dean told you not to."

"Of course I was! But do you realize how stupid it was for you to be alone out there?! Facing her on your own is an unnecessary risk! I can't believe you did that."

"Well I did! I had to do something okay?! I had to know. It was the only shot we had right now and I had to take it! So I did!"

"Dammit Emily! You can't do shit like that on your own!"

"Why?! I'm still here and she's dead! So I'd say I handled myself just fine!"

"She's dead?... and it didn't break the deal?"

"No." I whispered. "She said she had a boss. That he holds the contract and that he wants Dean. Bad."

"Well who is he?"

"I don't know… she wouldn't say."

"So you killed her? Emily we could have used her!"

"YES! I killed her okay?! I lost my temper and killed her Sam! Sue me!"

"Dammit…" He groaned turning around. "Did she say anything else? Did you find out anything useful?"

Other than the fact that they want you to step up and be their leader?

"No." I lied. I'm already trying to save one brother. I'm not going to let the other offer himself to the darkside to be their ruler.

"Don't tell Dean." Sam said as we watched him walk back towards the car.

"No shit Sherlock… stop arguing with him. I can't take it anymore."

"Fine. Now shut up." Sam said just a tenth of a second before Dean opened the door and climbed in, a bag of M&Ms in his hand. He immediately took in the tension between Sam and I.

"Lover's quarrel?" He asked sarcastically.

"Your disgusting." I groaned. "Just get us to the motel before midnight please?"

He rolled his eyes at me and cranked the radio before pulling out again. Let me tell you. Riding in the car with one grumpy Winchester makes for a bad day. Riding in the car with 2/3 grumpy Winchesters… I'd rather take a 12 hour ride with a ghoul trying to eat me the entire time.

After another gruuuueling 4 hours we made it town and checked into the motel to change before heading over to the hospital to speak with the only surviving vic. I popped on my pencil skirt and reapplied some mascara, popping on my fake glasses for the added professional pop, plus the rims hide some of the darkness that has permanently made its way under my eyes. I wish I could tell you my sleeping habits had improved from my confession but they haven't. I still have the same dream every few days. Even when I don't have it. I'm restless… watching. Waiting… counting hours out of the day. Feeling like we're running out of time.

"Em, lets go!" Dean said pounding on the bathroom door. I huffed and gave up on trying to brighten my face.

"In a rush?" I asked as I opened the door.

"No, but I'm hungry. The sooner we talk to this guy the sooner I can eat." He smiled, trying to bump me out of my foul mood. I rolled my eyes and walked past him.

"I'm Detective Plant, this is Detective Page, we're with the County Sheriff's Department. Our intern Ms. Hall will be observing with us today." Dean said introducing us to the vic, Kyle.

"Yeah, uh, I've been expecting you."

"You have?"

"All morning. You are the sketch artists, right?"

"...uh." Sam stuttered looking at Dean, who also froze.

"Absolutely." I smiled.

"Yeah." Sam added quietly.

"Yeah. That is exactly who my partner is. The things he can do with a pen." Dean chuckled. "But listen before we get started on that, I wanted to ask you, uh, how'd you get away?"

"I– I have no idea. I was hiding, and he found me. He was coming right for me and then he just ... stopped. Staring at me with this blank look. And after that he just took off running."

"Um, Det. Page, shouldn't we start on the sketch? I know we have a very busy day ahead." I added sheepishly. Sam shot me a death glare while Dean had to bite his tongue not to laugh.

"Of course." Sam said with a too tight smile before turning to Kyle. "Um, I'm going to need as much physical detail as you can remember." He said grabbing a small notebook and his pen.

"Uh yeah. Uh, he's about six feet tall... Dark hair ..."

"Uhm, what, what about his eyes, what color eyes did he have?" Sam asked.

"Maybe….blue?"

Sam looked at him questioningly at his hesitance.

"It was dark." He mumbled.

Did they seem... Uh, animal-ish?" Dean asked carefully.

"Excuse me?"

"What about his teeth? You notice anything ... strange about 'em?" I asked.

"No, they were just teeth."

"How about his fingernails?"

"OK look he- he's just a- a normal guy, with normal eyes a-a-a-and teeth and fingernails!" Kyle said getting frustrated.

"Look sir, it's okay if-" Sam began to comfort him, but the guy snapped.

"No. No. Those were my brothers. This guy, he- he killed my brothers. How would you feel?"

"I Can't imagine anything worse." Sam said softly… his words resonated to my core. There is nothing worse. I promise. Dean glanced at me… my anger began to fade. Being replaced with heartbreaking pain. I had to pull away from them. I stepped forward towards the bed.

"I know this isn't easy but if you could remember any more details..." I whispered. Holding the man's hand. He looked at me before answering.

"Th-there was one more thing he had a- a tattoo on his arm of a cartoon character. Umm... it's, uh, it's the guy who's chasing the Roadrunner—"

"Wile E. Coyote!" Dean said excitedly.

"Yeah, that's it." Kyle nodded.

"Kyle?" A voice behind us called. We all turned to look at the tall man.

"Dr. Garrison." Kyle nodded.

"How you holding up?"

"Okay, considering."

"You're Kyle's Doctor?" Dean asked.

"Yes?"

"Can I just ask you a few questions?" Dean said holding up his badge.

I stood behind Sam and attempted to eavesdrop on Dean and the doc… which failed. Sam and I finished up with Kyle and on Dean's nod met him in the hallway and walked outside.

As we walked out I caught a glimpse of Sam's drawing.

"Boy, this is a piece of, uh, art. Really." I giggled tapping the notebook in his hand.

"Yeah, like you could've done any better." Sam snapped putting the notebook away.

"So what did the Doc have to say about Kyle's brothers?" I turned and asked Dean.

"Not much, they were D.O.A. at the scene. He did give me the lowdown on the coroner's report."

"Lemme guess, their hearts were missing." Sam said.

"Nope. But chunks of their kidneys, lungs and intestines were."

"That's just gross." I whined crinkling my nose as we walked back through the parking lot to Baby.

"Yeah, also definitely not werewolf behavior."

Before stepping into the car something caught my attention. My breath caught in my throat. No. Fucking. Way.

"Em what are you waiting for?" Sam asked from the front seat.

"I'll be right back." I said closing the door and walking across the parking lot. I'm not fixing to have a stalker. Better to cut this shit short now.

"HEY!" I yelled, familiar green eyes turned and met mine. He stopped walking and smiled. Damn that smile… at least he was a hot stalker.

"Emily? Right?" He asked, his leather jacket slightly hanging off one shoulder as he turned to face me. Damn… he was hot. He looked even better in the daylight then he did in the bar. His eyes caught the sun and his dark hair had the lightest hint of red at the tips when the light was behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growled, crossing my arms.

"Um, I'm not sure you'd believe me." He said smirking.

"Look if you think that you're cute following me around state to state you're not. You're fucking creepy."

He laughed.

"Seriously? You think I'm here for you?"

"Well I don't believe in coincidences…"

"Fine. I'm working."

"Oh and what is it you do?"

"I'm a hunter."

My mouth opened to reply but stopped… unsure of what to say.

"This guy giving you problems kiddo?" Dean asked coming up behind me. Sam behind him.

"No. Go back to the car." I said turning to him.

"Hi, I'm Judson. I've heard a lot about you guys." Judson said reaching out to shake Dean and Sam's hands. I scoffed.

"Oh so you think you know us?"

"Well I wasn't positive at the bar that night but I'm pretty sure I'm in the company of the famous Winchester siblings. Hunters talk."

"I'm sorry did you say the bar? What bar?" Dean asked confused.

"This is the guy form the bar?" Sam said turning to me, putting on his angry brother face. Shit.

"Wait what does he know that I don't?" Dean asked me.

"Nothing! Just go back to the car. Both of you!" I yelled. "And you! We're working the case in this town, so feel free to move on."

"Eh, I think I'll take a look for myself before I go. I mean I drove all the way up here. I'd hate to leave so soon."

"And what exactly is your cover? Local douchebag?"

"Press." He smiled holding up a camera and notepad.

"Oh please." I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. Just… do what you gotta do and skip town. We don't need amateurs in our way."

I turned and walked back to the impala, Sam and Dean behind me.

I got in the back seat and slammed the door, Judson watched until we were pulling out of the parking lot, he smiled at me one more time before walking back towards the hospital.

"What a fucking joke." I mumbled.

"What the hell was that Em? You know that guy?" Dean asked.

"That's the guy that upset her at the bar a couple weeks ago, last time she sang." Sam answered for me.

"Ohhh. What the hell is he doing? Following you around?"

"I don't know Dean. I guess he's a hunter."

"Well I'm calling Bobby."

Dean drove us back to the motel and went outside to call Bobby while Sam and I pulled all the take out boxes out of the bags. Chinese. Yum.

"You know you coulda just asked Dean to kick his ass. He wouldn't have hesitated."

"I know Sammy. I just. Don't want to be the little girl that couldn't stand up for herself. He was an ass. I can handle someone being an ass."

"Well you know we'll get rid of him if we need to. I'm not gonna have some guy following you around, hunter or not."

"I doubt he's really a hunter. Probably some guy who got an adrenaline run from his first ghost kill… he won't last a year on the job."

"Sad but true." Sam sighed.

"Amateurs… always in the damn way."

"So." Dean said coming through the door. "Turns out the kid is a hunter, been one for a while, his uncle got him into the job. Bobby said he's met him a time or two, didn't have a bad thing to say."

"Dammit." I sighed.

"Want me to kick his ass?" Dean asked stuffing his face. I chuckled.

"No thanks De. I can handle this one."

We didn't even get to finish our lunch before the police scanner went off… new vics. Go time.

We headed back to the hospital, I didn't see Judson anywhere around thankfully. This time the vics were a married couple. Husbands dead, wife survived.

"Please, please." We heard the woman cry as we came around the corner to her room.

"Shh. Hey, we need to observe you while the drugs still might be in your system." Dr. Garrison told her.

"I have to go. I have things to do, arrangements I need to make!"

"It can wait. Now you need to rest. Stay. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Detectives." Dr. Garrison sighed as he met us in the doorway. "What the hell is going on here? My whole town is going insane."

"We'll let you know as soon as we do." Sam said sympathetically.

"Miss Watson? Hi. We just need to ask you a few questions." Dean said entering the room. Producing a badge, as did Sam and I.

"Do we have to go over this again? Now?"

"We'll try to be brief. Miss Watson, can you tell us how you got away?"

"I didn't eat as much as Ken did, so I wasn't as out of it. And, when the old woman was... carving up Ken, I shoved her, and she fell. Cracked her head on the stove…. She's dead, right? I- I killed her?"

"Do you have any idea why she'd do this to you?" Sam asked softly.

"No! One minute she was a sweet old lady and the next she was, like, a monster."

"Can you remember anything else?"

"Um, yeah. Did you find a little girl there, by any chance?"

"A ... little girl? At the house?" I repeated confused.

"I thought I saw her outside the window. She, she just disappeared. Just vanished, into thin air…." She paused as we looked between each other. "It m-must've been the drugs."

"We believe you." I whispered. "This disappearing girl — what, what'd what did she look like?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. Every detail matters."

"She had this dark, dark hair and really pale skin. She was around eight. She was a beautiful child. It was... odd to see her in the middle of something so horrible."

"Thank you for speaking with us, I'm so sorry for your loss." I told her before we left.

We immediately made our way over to the cabin in the woods, having to park Baby a mile away and trek through the woods to find it.

"So sad… another mile and they would have hit the road and could be home having dinner tonight." I mused.

"Things happen Em. People die." Sam sighed.

"Yeah. Guess so."

"Just look at it like job security." Dean shrugged. I rolled my eyes and followed them as we came upon the small homey house. It was pretty and quaint. Hidden from the rest of the town, this old lady must really have liked being alone. Course if I was a crazy cannibal I probably wouldn't want to live in the middle of town either. People could hear the screams.

"Well, there's no sulfur anywhere. How about the EMF?" I asked walking around the inside of the living room.

"Yeah, it's going nuts. When I went over here by the window ..." Sam walked back to it. The EMF went crazy. "There's definitely been a spirit here."

"Who stood outside the crime scene and watched." Dean stated.

"Looks like." Sam answered.

"What the hell do you make of that?"

"Actually I do have a theory. Uh, sort of."

"Hit me." I said jumping up on the counter and swinging my legs.

"Fairytales. Right?" A voice called from the doorway, Sam and Dean both swung around, guns aimed. "Whoa. Sorry… didn't mean to startle you."

"Seriously? I thought you left town." I sighed.

Judson smiled back at me.

"I thought I might could lend a hand. I mean, its not everyday someone gets the chance to hunt with the Winchesters."

"Yeah. I don't think so. Beat it." Dean said crossing his arms.

"You sure? I could come in handy." Judson said cooly. As if Dean's answer didn't matter to him one way or the other.

"He's sure. Now fuck off." I smiled. He smiled back at me and licked his lips.

"Nice to see you again Emily, maybe we'll get the chance to do this again"

He finally turned and eft.

"So. Back to your theory."

"Well… to be honest. I have been thinking fairytales. He was right."

"Oh that's — that's nice. You think about fairy tales often?"

"No, Dean, I'm talking about the murders. A guy and a girl? Hiking through the woods, an old lady tries to eat 'em? That's Hansel and Gretel. And then we got three brothers, arguing over how to build houses, attacked by the Big Bad Wolf."

"Three Little Pigs." I mused out loud.

"Yeah."

"Actually those guys were a little chubby. Well, wait, I thought those things ended with, uh, everybody living happily ever after?" Dean asked.

"No, no. Not the originals. See the Grimm Brothers' stuff was kinda the folklore of its day, full of sex, violence, cannibalism. Now, it got sanitized over the years, turned into Disney flicks and bedtime stories."

"So you think the murders are uh, what? A re-enactment? That's a little crazy."

"Crazy as what? Every day of our lives?" I asked.

"Touché."

"How's the creepy ghost girl involved?" I asked turning back to Sam.

"Uhm ... Well, she must've been here for a reason. I'm willing to bet you top dollar she was at the construction site too."

"We gotta do research now, don't we?" I sighed. Sam patted me on the back and smiled.

We made our way over to the local public office, the library, etc. I hate the research part. I much rather the action part. Guess that's the Dean part of me coming out.

I let the boys take over at the library. I sat outside on the steps. Just enjoying the peace and quiet. Its not often I get a second to just sit and relax by myself… of course it didn't last long. It always creeps into my mind. How many weeks… days… hours. I have left to save him.

The sound of the door opening caused me to jump, when I realized it was my brothers I stood.

"So?"

"Checked every record they had. Found the usual amount of violent childhood deaths for a town this size." Dean said.

"Okay." I said as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Wanna know how many how many were little girls with black hair and pale skin?"

"Zero." I guessed.

"Zero! You wanna know how many how many little girls with black hair and pale skin that have gone missing? Right again. Zip. zilch, nada. Tell me you two got something good 'cause I've totally wasted the last six hours."

"Well you ever hear of Lillian Bailey? She was a British medium from the 1930s." Sam asked.

"She got a thing for fairy tales?"

"Nah, trances. See she'd go into these unconscious states where, uhm, get this, her thoughts and actions were completely controlled by spirits."

"A ghost puppet master?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Think that's what this kid is doing? Sending wolfboy and grandma into trances, making them go kill-crazy?" Dean asked.

"Could be. You know, kinda like uh, uh, spirit hypnosis or somethin'."

"Trances I get, but fairy tale trances? That's bizarre even for us."

I stopped walking when I noticed the giant bullfrog on the path in front of us.

"Umm." I mused. The boys stopped and looked at me, then followed my gaze.

"Yeah, you're right. That's completely normal." I said shaking my head.

"All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales." Dean said. Then he laughed and tapped my shoulder.

"Hey Em, go kiss it."

"Ew! Dean no! You go kiss it!"

"Hey, I'm not the one who keeps asking for a boyfriend! I'm just saying, that could be your prince charming.

"Oh fuck you." I said pushing past him and a laughing Sam.

"Hey, want me to bring him with us? Incase you change your mind!" Dean called after me. I flipped him the bird as I kept walking. I heard more laughter chide from behind me as they began walking again as well.

"Hey. Check this out." I said stopping, looking directly across the street. There was a pumpkin on the porch.

"Yeah? It's close to Halloween."

"You remember Cinderella?" I asked.

"With the pumpkin that turns into a coach, and the mice that become horses?" Sam nodded.

"Dude, could you be more gay?" Dean said mocking him. Sam shot him bitchface. "Don't answer that."

We crossed the street and picked the lock… entering the seemingly empty house.

"Well who knows, maybe you'll find your fairy godmother?" Dean said poking me with his elbow.

"Well I do have one wish." I sighed. Thankfully Dean didn't hear me. We began to search the house, but noises form the back forced us to draw our guns and regroup, moving towards its location.

"Help I'm in here!" Someone called as we got closer.

"Hey. Its okay." Sam said crouching down to the teenage blonde girl who was cuffed to the stove, looking like hell.

"It's okay. We're here, we're here. We got you." Sam told her leaning down to pick the locks.

"You have to help me. She's a lunatic." The girl cried.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"My step mom, she just freaked out, screamed at me, beat me. Chained me up."

"Where is she now?"

"I don't know."

"Sam. Em." Dean said. Looking down the hall. Standing in it was the little girl, she turned and walked away. I jumped up. Get the girl loose, I'll be right back.

"Emily be careful!" Dean called after me. I waved him off. Walking down the hall until I saw her in the living room. She moved again and walked out the front door. I followed. Once outside I saw her in the yard, walking around the side of the house. I continued to pursue her until she was stopped by the fence.

"Who are you?" I asked softly. She flickered and then disappeared. I shook my head and sighed. Turning to go back in, but as I turned I came face to face with a tall man, dark hair and eyes, and a Wyle Cyote tattoo on his arm. I moved to lift my gun, but he was faster. He clamped his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream. I smelt the sickly sweet strong chemical make its way through my airway, and then there was nothing.

(DEANS POV)

"Alright, call an ambulance, I'm gonna go catch up with Em. See what she found."

"Okay." Sam agreed pulling out his phone as we sat the girl on the couch, she was weak and injured, but would easily survive.

I wondered through the house.

"Em? Emily?... Come on kiddo where'd you go?"

I got no reply. I noticed the door was swung open and followed it outside.

"Emily!" I called, and waited. But there was no response. Something in me felt wrong…

"Em!" I said a little more angrily. Feeling panic make its way up my spine, one bone at a time. Crippling my senses. I darted down the stairs, looking frantically for her. Nothing. I ran around the side of the house and paused. Her gun, laying in the grass. Next to it was an apple… no dammit!

"Sam!" I called running back towards the house, her gun in my hand. "Sammy!"

He was out the door by the time I made it back to the porch.

"She's gone!" I said holding up her gun.

"What?! How?" Sam asked his eyes going wide.

"I don't know! She was right behind the girl and now they're both just gone!"

"Okay well I doubt that little girl took her… Emily would've gotten away from her. So… so. So. It's gotta be someone in a trance. Someone being controlled by the ghost. A-a-a fairytale story."

"Which one Sam?!"

"How am I supposed to know that Dean! Was there anything else?"

"Um.. an apple?"

"An apple… like in snow white?"

"I don't know Sam! I only ever saw the porn version! I wasn't paying attention to the fruit!"

"Dammit Dean! Calm down now! Or we're not gonna find her. Just. I need you to breathe. Okay? I'm scared too. But we gotta suck it up and find her."

"…We need help." I admitted. I pulled out my phone and called Bobby.

"Hello?"

"Bobby."

"What's wrong boy?" He said automatically detecting the panic in my voice.

"Emilys gone… whatever's going on in this town has her. We think it's a ghost putting people under a trance. Bobby… we sent that kid off, but we could kina use all hands on deck right now."

"Yeah, you got it. I'll give him a call. Don't worry boy, she's a tough one."

"Yeah, thanks Bobby."

I snapped the phone shut.

"Lets go."

"Where Dean?"

"The motel! That guy has to know where to find us. We'll wait for him there."

Sam and I drove back to the motel and I did nothing but pace as I waited for this guy to show up. Finally someone knocked on the door. I flung to it and swung it open.

"Took you long enough." I said as he stepped in.

"Well if I remember correctly you are the one who sent me away." He replied

"Dean. Chill out." Sam warned me walking over to stand between us when he saw my temper getting ready to flare.

"Look, Judson. We're in a tight spot and was wondering if you found anything we hadn't."

"Well. What do you have?"

Sam and Judson sat down and discussed the case. Comparing notes and lore.

"So you have nothing we don't…" I sighed at the end of their conversation. "Great."

"Where's your sister? Couldn't stand that you were asking for my help?" He said cockily. I fumed.

"No dipshit. She's gone! That's why you're here!"

"Wait what? What do you mean gone? Like stormed off gone?"

"No." Sam said cutting in for me. "Like something took her gone, and we gotta figure this thing out. Fast."

"Seriously? You two let her get kidnapped?" He asked judgmentally staring between us.

"Hey! You watch it or I'll kick your ass! I said moving towards him, he didn't back down, but instead rose to meet me face to face."

"Hey! That's enough!" Sam yelled. "Look, are you gonna help us or not? Cause right now you two are bickering and wasting time!"

"Fine… what happened."

"We saw the girl, Emily went to follow her, she went outside, when I came out after her she was gone. Gun laying in the yard, with an apple next to it."

"Like snow white?" Judson asked.

"Yeah. That's what he seems to think." I said motioning to Sam.

"Hmm… so. The little girl is snow white, poisoned by the apple. Or maybe just poisoned. Forcing her to fall into a death-like sleep." Judson talked outloud.

"Like maybe comatose?" Sam asked.

"Yeah… and there's only one comatose girl in the hospital. Dr. Garrison's daughter. Callie. She's much older now though. I guess she could be appearing at the age she was when she was poisoned?"

"How do you know all that?" I asked him.

"Because I'm thorough." He shot back.

"I swear if you don't drop the attitude I'm going to beat it out of you!"

"Dean! Take a walk! Now!" Sam yelled. I turned and flew out the door. Dammit! Since when do I need some punk ass kids help to find MY sister?! I slammed my fist into the wooden post, ignoring the pain it caused to surge up my arm. I just want her back.

(Emily's POV)

"Hmmm…" I groaned, coming to. It smelt funny in here. It was dark. And dusty. I finally pried my eyes all the way open, there was a small round window up above me. I stood and looked out it. I was high… like 3 or 4 stories up. I must be in an attic of some sort… what the hell is going on?

I began to poke around, looking for flashlight or a lantern, or anything really… but kept coming up empty handed. Dammit. Footsteps caught me off guard. They were coming closer. I hid. The attic door swung open and the man who I briefly saw when he took me half entered and laid down a tray of food and a bottle of water, then he shut and relocked the door.

"The princess stuck in the damn tower." I mumbled. Catching on to exactly which fairytale I'm not officially trapped in. Fuck my life dude. Well I'm not Rapunzel with a witch for a mom, so he must be the "dragon" that the knight has to slay in order to save me.

I went over and inspected the simple turkey sandwich and apple. Too bad I haven't been hungry in weeks. I took the water bottle. Sipping from it slowly as I watched the light fade through the window and the sun grew closer to setting.

(DEANS POV)

We got to the hospital and quickly found Callie's room. In it was Dr. Garrison… reading the Grim brother's stories to her. Damn. Judson was right. It is Callie.

"So what now?" I asked, we all walked back down to the end of the hallway, away from where anyone could listen in.

"He's reading the story of the princess locked away in the tower. If I had to guess I'd say Emily is safe, she's just locked up somewhere. The dragon never actually hurts her." Sam explained. Judson nodded in agreement.

I internally relaxed, letting out a deep breath. Thank god something is going our way today.

"Someone needs to find her, someone needs to stay here and tell the doc that his little girl's killing people. She needs to be put down. " Judson explained.

"You guys stay, I'll go after Em." I quickly said.

"Wait." Judson called, I turned and faced him. "Your head isn't clear. I should go after her. You and Sam have more experience talking to people anyways."

"No. No way…" I said firmly. "She is MY responsibility. My kid sister. I'll go get her."

"Dean… maybe he's right. I could use your help here. You know Dr. Garrison isn't going to want to hear this.

"Sam! This is Emily! OUR Emily. And you trust this guy to go get her?! Protect her?"

"Well Dean… we lost her. He helped us so far. I don't see a lot of other options."

The fact that agreed with this kid just infuriated me!

"Fine! Whatever. You wanna trust him. Go ahead." I said before storming off down the halls.

I stood at the window and watched as Judson left down the elevator. Sam came to stand behind me.

"C'mon Dean. He's a smart kid… we owe him for getting us this far. I'm sure she'll back safe in your arms by tonight."

"She better be. Or I'll kill him."

(EMILYS POV)

It was almost nightfall. I was beginning to think I'd be stuck all night long, but I saw the brief shining of headlights… Oh please be Baby. But they cut off before I could get to the window and get a good look. I listened intently at the door. I could hear snoring. I assumed it was the "dragon" man. But I could have sworn I always faintly heard the sound of a door creak open.

Moments later a fight broke out.

"Dean! Sam! I'm up here!" I said banging on the door to get their attention.

"De! Please!" I said feeling the desperation showing itself in my voice. Dean has always been my knight in shining armor. Him and Sammy have always come to my rescue. I'm so sick of fighting. Of getting on each other's nerves, of tip toeing around each other because any of us could go off at any second. I just wanted my brothers to bust through that door and drive me away in the impala. I listened carefully as the fighting increased, but then stopped as a man screamed out in pain. Neither of which sounded like my brothers. I began to bang on the door again.

"De! Sammy! Let me out! De!" I heard footsteps moving rapidly towards the door, I stepped back, knowing it will swing when they kick it in. But … then I heard lock picking. Seriously? They're picking the lock instead of kicking it in? Since when?

I waited only a moment or two before it clicked and the door swung open.

"De." I said feeling tears make their way to the surface. But when it opened… I was confused.

"I think this means you have to marry me now?" Judson said smirking. I stared at him in shock… which faded quickly to disappointment. "Would you like me to carry you past the threshold my dear?" He mocked, but stopped after he saw my expression switch.

"Emily? Are you hurt?" He asked turning serious, he moved towards me. I stepped back.

"Why are you here?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Bobby called me. Said you guys needed a hand. Your brothers are at the hospital wrapping up the case."

"But why are you HERE! Dean… he stayed at the hospital?"

"Yeah bu-"

"Nevermind. Just… take me to the motel. Please." I said.

"Okay, come on." He said holding out his arm for me to walk past him and down the steps.

He walked me over to his truck… it was old like my Daddy's. Thinking of Daddy right now just adds to the flood of emotion I felt. I almost stopped, but I didn't want this asshole to see a single tear fall from my eye. So I swallowed it back down, and climbed up into his truck. The ride to the motel was silent, the radio was off. He didn't try to talk… I didn't talk. Thankfully it was short ride. When we got to the motel I quickly exited the truck, seeing the impala was already there. I turned to Judson before going up to the door.

"Thank you. For coming to get me."

"Does the knight get a kiss from his princess to be?" He teased. I scoffed.

"Why can't you just accept my gratitude and move on."

"Not my style." He winked.

I turned away from him and walked through the motel door. Sam who was sitting at the table looked up and closed his laptop, moving towards me. But a pacing Dean beat him to me. Dean wrapped both arms around me, trapping mine where they laid crossed against my chest.

"Oh thank god." He breathed. I looked down at the floor.

"Em are you okay?" Sam asked walking over. I nodded. Unable to speak. Not until Judson left. He was currently standing in the doorway. Watching.

(DEANS POV)

"Are you hurt?" I said pulling away and putting my hands on both sides of her face, turning it side to side. Finding no injuries. She didn't reply. She just… stared at me. With… anger. Hurt. My eyebrows knitted together as I looked back at her. She finally pulled away.

"I'm fine. I'm gonna take a shower." She said walking away and grabbing her duffle bag as she went into the bathroom.

I turned to look back at Judson.

"What did you do?"

He looked at me wide eyed.

"ME? I did nothing! I saved her ass and brought her back here. No foul play."

"Then whats wrong with her?!" I demanded. Confused.

"Hey man. I don't know… when I opened the door she just look surprised to see me. Disappointed even. I didn't pry. I just brought her home."

"Thank you." Sam said before I could open my mouth again. "Thank you for bringing her back, and helping on the case. If you ever need a hand with anything then just call and let us know. We owe you."

"Nah, I did it for Bobby. He owes me." The kid smiled before nodding and heading out the door. Sam nodded back.

As soon as the front door shut the bathroom door swung open.

"What the hell was that?!" Emily came out screaming. "I get fucking kidnapped and you two send HIM?!"

"Em we needed hel-" Sam started.

"NO! No… we didn't need his help! YOU could have come to get me. Where were you!" She turned to me and screamed.

"Where were you when I was sitting in an attic WAITING. Huh? At the hospital having a pow wow with the ghost?! That was more important than I was?!"

I didn't answer, I just watched as a few tears made their way down her face.

"Emily I'm sorry. I wanted to go but-"

"But nothing Dean! YOU were supposed to be there. YOU were supposed to save me…" She said her voice cracking at the end. "Not hand me off to some punk who mocks my singing."

"Kiddo please I-"

"No." She turned and went back, slamming the door behind her. I knocked.

"Kiddo open the door." She didn't respond. Instead I listened to her cry. "Emily. C'mon." I shook the door handle.

"Dean." Sam said from behind me. He had his lock pick reached out to me. "I'm gonna take a walk." I nodded back to him, taking the pick and opening the door. In the corner was my little girl. Huddled, her face buried in her knees. I moved to sit across from her on the dirty floor, my back against the tub. Instead of instantly pushing her to talk, or grabbing her. I let her cry… just being present in the room. Slowly but surely she began to calm down.

"I thought it was you." She whispered.

"What babygirl?" I said unsure I heard her, her face was still buried in her knees. She lifted her head and wiped her face.

"I said… I thought it was you."

"Emily… I wanted to go. But. I was being a hot head, it was the right move to let Judson go instead. I'm sorry kiddo."

" 's gonna be there when you're gone?" She said, busting into tears again. This time I acted, pulling her to sit beside me. For once she stopped fighting me, and just laid against me.

"Kiddo, you know Sam and Bobby love you as much as I do… they will take care of you. They're family Em." My words only seemed to make her cry harder.

"I don't wanna lose you De… I'm scared."

"I know babygirl I know…"

I'm scared too.

"I tried! I summoned the demon… I shot her… and it didn't work! It was supposed to work… you're supposed to come save me." She cried again.

"You did what?" I said pulling her up to face me, she broke into sobs.

"I-I- I'm sor-r-y. It d-didn't wor-k."

"Its okay babygirl… shhh.. Its okay."

I'd be lying if I said disappoint didn't wash over me. I knew it was unrealistic, but… I don't know. I guess for a second I hoped it could work… I squeezed my Emily to me, comforting her for the short amount of time I have left. I know she hated the idea of someone else coming to her rescue… but I wish she understood how much more I hated stepping aside and allowing it.

How do you get used to handing over your little girl to someone else?


	48. Chapter 48

Author's Note: Hey guys, thank you for all the love and support! I'm really dying to know if you guys like the idea of Judson or not? And also if you think tackling two stories at once would be too much? Holler and let me know, you can review or PM! Thanks lovelies! And a special thank you to Ladysunshine6 for the inspiration to get this chapter going!

PS: Its late! I just finished this! I'm going to be up in 5 hours to do my first of 4 12hr shifts in a row. So please know how much I love you all to force myself to finish a chapter before going to bed and leaving you all empty handed. Enjoy! Sorry for any mistakes- no time to proofread!

It was bright when I started to stir awake. I felt… rested. I felt like for the first time in forever I had slept and truly rested. I stretched, listening to the sounds of someone sipping coffee and typing on a computer. I thought back to last night's turn of events. I remembered sobbing in the bathroom, being in there with Dean. Fantastic. Just what we need… more bullshit.

I vaguely remember telling him about the demon at the crossroads… but. I don't remember much after that. I assume we sat in the floor until I fell asleep, then he must've carried me to the bed. I guess I better get up and face this now rather than later. I took a deep breath and began pulling the blankets off of me as I sat on the edge of the bed.

Dean was reading the paper, pen in hand. Looking for a case no doubt, Sam was the one hastily typing away on the laptop. Both were sipping their coffee. I stood and Sam briefly acknowledged me with a look before turning back to his laptop. Well, that's not a good sign.

I grabbed a water bottle, and sat at the table.

"So. How long was I out?"

"About 10 hours… beats your record of 3 or 4 hours a night here lately." Dean said without looking up. He's mad.

"Yeah I guess it does."

"So, the other day. You took off for a "walk" am I right? That's when you pulled your little stunt?"

"Yeah. It was." I said looking down, bumping Sam with my foot, begging him to step in. He very attentively ignored me.

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Dean you already know what I was thinking." I said rolling my eyes.

"How could you be so stupid? You do NOT just go around hanging out with demons because you're feeling a little moody! You could've gotten yourself killed! She could have taken you! Possessed you! Sliced you into pieces and dropped you off at our doorstep! NEVER again!"

"Oh screw you! You know I'm plenty capable of taking down one little demon! I'm still here aren't I?!"

"You won't be if you pull a stunt like that again." He growled. Then his face changed for a split second, you could have missed it if you blinked. "…So you killed her… and it didn't break the deal?" He then asked hesitantly.

"No. It didn't." I said staring at the ugly table in front of me. "She said someone else holds your contract. Her boss or something."

"Well did she say who it was?"

"No. Said she couldn't tell me."

"Well… you know we could go back and interrogate her. OH, wait… no we can't. BECAUSE YOU KILLED HER!"

"Dean! Stop! I couldn't help it! Okay?! I just… it happened. It just took me over!"

"Wait, you mean you didn't shoot her?" Sam asked.

"No. Check the colt. All bullets accounted for." I said shakily. "It just… I was so mad. I was so desperate to save you… and when she said I couldn't. I just… lost it."

"Em… how did you kill her?"

"… kind of like I did Jake. Like I almost did Dean." I whispered.

Dean took a deep sigh, sitting back and running his hand over his face.

"What about the girl she was possessing?" Dean asked me.

"I… I'm pretty sure I killed her too." I said choking on the words. Sam quickly grabbed my hand under the table and squeezed it, sending me stares of pity. I don't want the pity. I murdered someone. Someone innocent. I let the anger towards the demon blind my guilt at the time, but having to admit it out loud to my brothers caused that guilt to come back with a vengeance.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean to."

"We know Em. Its gonna be okay." Sam said reassuringly. Dean didn't speak. "Hey, why don't you go take a shower, get cleaned up. We'll hit the road when you're done okay?"

I shook my head and made my way to the bathroom.

(Sam's POV)

"Dean. You know if she hadn't done it, I would have. And I would have wasted a bullet."

"Don't encourage her! Stop dragging her along in your little rescue mission! Look what's happened now?! An innocent woman is dead Sam! Emily… our Emily. She killed someone. Because she snuck off and couldn't control herself. She is OUR responsibility. She wasn't supposed to be out there alone! This isn't on her! Its on you!" He yelled as he got up from the table, slamming his chair to the ground and storming out.

Maybe he's right. Maybe this is on me… she wouldn't have gone out there if I hadn't dragged her into helping me. If we hadn't talked about using the colt… summoning the demon.

Maybe it is my fault that some girls dead and that Emily is smothering herself in the guilt. I mean is there really anything we can do? Can we do anything to save him at this point? I can't lose him. I can't let Emily lose him… we need Dean. Dean runs the show, he takes charge and takes care of us. He's the one who's always held this family together. Without him it'll just fall apart.

The bathroom door opening caught my attention and pulled me out of my thoughts.

"Hey, where'd De go?" She asked looking around.

"I'm not sure kiddo."

"He's really mad isn't he?" She asked timidly.

"Not at you sweetheart. He's just frustrated. I think secretly he wanted our plan to work as much as we did. And now he's just worried about you, he doesn't want you to have anything else to worry about."

"Sammy… what are we gonna do?" She asked coming over to sit on my knee, I wrapped my arms around her. She was so weak. Even though the dark rings under her eyes are lighter today then they had been in weeks, I could still see she was barely pulling herself together every day. How am I gonna get her through life if we lose Dean? How can I save her?

"I don't know Em. We'll just have to find out who holds his contract. See what we can do from there."

"Sam… If I tell you something, do you swear not to tell Dean."

"Yeah sure hunny what is it?"

"I. I tried to switch… with Dean. I tried to get the demon to trade us."

"Emily why would you do that?!" I said pulling her away from me to look her in the eye. "You know Dean would never forgive himself if you did that! It would only make this so much worse… you know you are the most important thing to both of us! If it took both of us going to hell to save you, we'd do it without blinking."

"I just… wanted to save him so bad. But she said they didn't want me. They said that I was just a risk for them… that I was worthless."

"Emily. You can't do this… You can't put yourself on the hook like that. Promise me."

"I promise."

"We'll figure something else out Em… I promise you. I won't let you lose him."

"Sammy its not just for me… its for you too, I don't want you to live without him."

"I know sweetheart, lets just… lay low with demons for a few days okay? Let Dean cool down."

"Okay. Hey Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"If… if we can't save him. We'll always have each other still, right?"

My heart instantly cracked… she's losing hope. She's giving up.

"Of course, I'll never leave you alone."

"Promise?"

"Pinky Promise." I smiled, reaching my hand up to hers, she laughed slightly before wrapping our fingers together. "C'mon, lets pack up so we can roll out when he gets back."

"Okay." She smiled slightly, getting up and starting to put her things away. Man. She's so grown up… I can't believe I gave up 4 years with her.

4 years.

(Emily's POV)

The next day I stood in the large fancy living room of a woman named Gert. She was rich, with poor taste in decoration. I mean seriously, this place belongs in the 1930s.

At least I can giggle as she flirts with Sam. Dean seems to find it amusing as well. Sam however, is as red as can be.

"But I don't understand. I already went over all this with the other detectives." She said, something we hear quite often actually. I mean is it that hard to grasp that they may actually want to double check the story?

"Right, yes. But, see, we're with the Sheriff's Department, not the police department – different departments." Dean said with a kind smile.

"So, Mrs. Case... " Sam said to prompt her to tell her to explain her story.

"Please. Misses Case." She told him with a naughty wink. I half gagged half laughed, but hid it all quite well.

"Okay. Um, Ms. Case, um... you were the one who found your niece, correct?" Sam asked.

"I came home, she was in the shower."

"Drowned?"

"So the coroner says. Now, you tell me, how can someone drown in the shower?"

"How would you describe Sheila's behavior in the days before her death? I mean, did she seem frightened? Maybe she said something out of the ordinary, or ...?"

"Wait a minute. You're working with Alex, aren't you?" The woman suddenly asked with a smile. I took this opportunity before the boys could ruin it for us.

"Yep. Absolutely. That's… Alex and us, we're like this." I said crossing my fingers.

"Why didn't you say so? Alex has been such a comfort. But I'm sorry. I thought the case was solved."

"Uh... Well, no. No, not yet." I smiled politely.

"I see."

"So, anyways, we were talking about your niece." Dean stepped in and said, pulling us back on track.

"Well, yes. Sheila mentioned something quite strange before she died. She said she saw a boat."

"A boat?"

"Yes. One minute it was there, then it was gone. It just disappeared right before her eyes. You think it could be a ... ghost ship? Alex thinks it could be a ghost ship." Gert said, looking only at Sam everytime she answered.

"Well, um ... Could be." Sam said uncomfortably. Again I had to stifle my giggle.

"Well. You let me know if there's anything else I can do for you. Anything at all." She said running her hand over his, okay… now I'm gonna puke. If Sam doesn't beat me to it based on the look on his face.

"What a crazy old broad." Dean mumbled as we began walking down the docks back towards Baby.

"Why? Because she believes in ghosts?" Sam asked. I stopped and shot him an amused look, Dean caught this and winked at me before speaking.

"Look at you, sticking up for your girlfriend. You cougar hound." Dean mocked.

"Bite me."

"Hey, not if she bites you first." Dean shot him a knowing look.

"So, who's this Alex? We got another player in town?" I said stuck on the name… I don't know any hunters named Alex, and female?

"Maybe, maybe not. Doesn't change our job." Sam said.

"And what looked like a ghost ship, right?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. It's not the first one sighted around here, either."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Every 37 years, like clockwork, reports of a vanishing three-mast clipper ship out in the bay. And every 37 years, a rash of weirdo, dry-land drownings."

"So, whatever's happening is just getting started." I added.

"Yeah."

"What's the lore?"

"Well, there are apparitions of old wrecks sighted all over the world. The S.S. Violet, the Griffin, the Flying Dutchman – almost all of them are death omens."

"So, what happens? You see the ship and then a few hours later, you pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye?"

"Basically."

"Well remind me not to keep my eyes on the horizon while we're in town." I mused.

"What's the next step?" Dean asked.

"I gotta I.D. the boat." Sam answered.

"That shouldn't be too hard. I mean, how many three-mast clipper ships have wrecked off the coast?"

"I checked that too, actually. Over one hundred and fifty."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"Hey maybe we'll find some actual pirates!" I said excitedly… I love pirates! Dean and Sam both rolled their eyes, I looked back ahead, knowing we should be getting close to Baby by now… wait. There's the boat dock with the green boat at the end… and the busted rope on the walk way. We were parked right here…. Oh. No. Shit… Deans gonna freak.

"Uh… Sammy." I whispered, trying to warn him, but Dean caught his attention first.

"This is where we parked the car, right?"

"I thought so." Sam answered.

Oh no… this is gonna be bad. So. So bad.

"Where's my car?" Dean asked slightly more calm then I anticipated.

"Did you feed the meter?" Sam asked.

"Yes, I fed the meter. Sam, where's my car? Somebody stole my CAR!" Dean said in a panic… and there it is.

"De! Calm down, its okay!" I said stepping in front of him and grabbing his broad shoulders/

"I am calmed down! Somebody stole my ca—" Dean began to hyperventilate.

"Whoa.. whoa hey take it easy, breathe!" Sam told him coming over, poor Dean. Its odd being on the other side of this, usually it's the boys calming me down.

(he begins hyperventilating, bending over to clutch his knees to calm down)

"The '67 Impala? Was that yours?" A soft voice called, we all turned…. Fuck.

"Bela." Sam sighed.

"I'm sorry. I had that car towed."

"You what?!"

"Well, it was in a tow-away zone."

"No, it wasn't!"

"It was when I finished with it."

"What the hell are you even doing here?"

"A little yachting." She smiled casually.

"You're Alex. You're working with that old lady." I said putting two and two together.

"Gert's a dear old friend."

"Yeah, right. What's your angle?" I asked crossing my arms.

"There's no angle. There's a lot of lovely old women like Gert up and down the eastern seaboard. I sell them charms, perform séances so they can commune with their dead cats."

"And let me guess, it's all a con, none of it's real." Dean added.

"The comfort I provide them is very real."

"How do you sleep at night?" Sam asked her.

"On silk sheets, rolling naked in money." Dean appeared to be visualizing this, and enjoying it. I rolled my eyes and slapped him on the chest. "Really, Sam. I'd expect the attitude from him, but you?" Bela asked feigning innocence.

"You shot my sister!"

"I barely grazed her, and it was between the two of you so it looks like I did you a favor." She smirked.

"Keep talking bitch. I'm still gonna repay you for that." I told her.

"Cute. But a bit of a drama queen, yeah?" She asked the boys motioning to me. I went to step forward but Dean held me back. I groaned.

"You do know what's going on around here. This ghost-ship thing, it is real." Sam told her.

"I'm aware. Thanks for telling Gert the case wasn't solved, by the way."

"It isn't."

"She didn't know that. Now the old bag's stopped payment and she's demanding some real answers."

"Oh boo hoo bitch." I said rolling my eyes.

"Look... just stay out of my way before you cause any more trouble. I'd get to that car if I were you... before they find the arsenal in the trunk. Ciao."

"Fucking bitch." I mumbled as she walked away. "C'mon De. She's right, lets go get Baby."

"Can I shoot her?" Dean asked casually.

"Not in public."

We had barely retrieved Baby and made it back to the hotel in time to finish our food before the police scanner dinged… another death. On the road again we go.

When we arrived on the scene, Bela was already there, talking to the vic's family. Posing as a reporter. She's disgusting. The guy LITERALLY just died. What makes you think anyone would want to talk to the press right now?

"No. The police said that he drowned, but ... I don't u-understand how..." The man was saying as we approached form behind Bela.

"I am so sorry for your loss, Mr. Warren. Now, if you could just tell me one more time about the ship your brother saw."

"Ma'am, I think this man's been through quite enough. You should go." Dean said flashing his badge as we stepped between them.

"But I just have a few more questions." She replied with a tight smile.

"No, you don't." I told her firmly.

"Thank you for your time." She said, while shooting daggers at the three of us.

"Sorry you had to deal with that. They're like ROACHES." Dean said, the last part coming out loud enough for her to hear. I smirked.

"So, we heard you say your brother saw a ship." Sam asked.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Did he tell you what it looked like?" I asked.

"It was, uh... like the old Yankee clippers. A smuggling vessel. The rakish topsail, a barkentine rigging. Angel figurehead on the bow."

"That's a lot of detail for a ship your brother saw." I told him curiously.

"My brother and I were night diving. I saw the ship, too." We all exchanged a glance. When I looked back I noticed Bela behind him, talking to the police and pointing at us. Fuck. I nudged Sam and pointed. Time to go!

"All right. Well, we'll be in touch." Sam told him before we all hauled ass back to the car. We drove to a wooded clearing outside of town to get our stuff together incase Bela had put them on our trail.

"I see you got your car back." An annoying voice called over to us as we were all buried into the trunk.

"You really want to come near me when I got a loaded gun in my hands?" I asked.

"Now, now. Mind your blood pressure. Why are you even still here? You have enough to I.D. the boat."

"That guy back there saw the ship." Sam told her.

"Yeah? And?"

"And, he's going to die, so we have to save him."

"How sweet." Bela smiled.

"You think this is funny?" Dean asked her.

"He's cannon fodder. He can't be saved in time, and you know it."

"Yeah, well, see, we have souls, so ... we're gonna try." _Not for long you don't_ I said to myself… glad the words stayed in my head and never left my mouth. I instantly felt guilty.

"Yeah, well, I'm actually going to find the ship and put an end to this. But you have fun."

"Hey, Bela, how'd you get like this, huh? What, did Daddy not give you enough hugs or something?" Dean called as she began to walk away.

"I don't know. Your daddy give you enough?" She called back.

"Hey! You don't get to speak of my father." I told her angrily.

" Don't you dare look down your noses at me. You're no better than I am."

"We help people." Dean told her.

"Come on. You do this out of vengeance and obsession. You're a stone's throw from being a serial killer. Whereas I, on the other hand, I get paid to do a job and I do it. So, you tell me – which is healthier?"

"Bela, why don't you just leave? We've got work to do." Sam told her.

"Yeah. You're 0 for 2. Bang-up job so far." She teased walking away, I turned and chunked the bullet in my hand at the back of her head. It hit dead center and she stopped, turning back to me.

"The next bullet moves a lot faster, but I promise the aim won't suffer from it." I told her with a smile. She looked nervous for only a split second before laughing and walking away.

"I thought I was gonna get to shoot her." Dean whined as we all piled into the car.

"Guess we'll just have to see who can draw faster." I winked at him. He smiled back and Sam shook his head at us.

"Anything good?" I asked as I heard Sam shuffle through papers in the front seat. We had been sitting outside dudes house for HOURS. We've gone through the food, I had to pee, and my ipod battery died. So here I lay in the backseat, bored out of my mind.

"No, not really. I mean, both brothers are Duke University grads. No criminal record. I mean, a few speeding tickets. They inherited their father's real estate fortune six years ago."

"How much?" Dean asked.

"$112 million."

"Nice life." Dean whistled.

"Yeah. I mean, nice, clean, aboveboard. So why did they see the ship? Why Sheila, too? What do they all have in common?"

"Maybe nothing." I sighed.

"No. There's always something."

"Hey, you!" I heard a man yell. I instantly sat up and saw Peter coming towards the gate in his driveway.

"I think we've been made." Dean mumbled.

"What are you guys doing?! You watching me?"

"Sir, calm down. Please." Sam told him calmly.

"You guys aren't cops! Not dressed like that. Not – not in that crappy car."

"Whoa, hey. No need to get nasty." Dean cut in.

"We are cops, okay? We're undercover. We're here because we think you're in danger." I told him.

"From who?!"

"If you just settle down, we'll talk about it."

"Look, you three just stay away from me!" He said as he ran towards his car and began to drive away.

"Wait!" I yelled.

"Hey, you moron! We're trying to help you!" Dean added…. Not helping Dean! As his car got close to the gate, it stopped. Uh oh. The lights flickered and the engine choked before dying. That's a really big uh oh.

"That can't be good." Dean said.

"No. Get the salt gun." Sam said as Dean ran back but Sam and I rushed towards the car once we hopped the wall around his property. When we got there we could see Peter… drowning. The inside of his car filled with water, and then there was another man sitting beside him. I jumped for the door but they all suddenly locked.

"Sam! I can't get in!"

"Peter!" Sam said slamming on the window… but it was too late. The spirit stared at Sam.

"Sam!" Dean called, Sam turned and ducked, Dean shot and the spirit disappeared. Sam instantly rips open the car door to feel for a pulse. But I already knew there wouldn't be one. Sam shook his head and Dean kicked the car out of frustration. …Dammit. We lost another one.

That seems to be a theme lately… people we can't save.

Brothers I can't save.

Not saving people. Yeah… that's not exactly what Dad had planned when he tossed us the family business.

We climbed into the car silent… all of us feeling it but none of us saying it.

"Do one of you wanna say it or should I?" Dean said. Well… I guess someone's gonna say it.

"What?" Sam asked.

"We can't save everybody, Sam."

"Yeah, right, so – so what, you feel better now or what?"

"No, not really."

"Me neither." I added. They both glanced at me.

"You gotta understa—"

"It's just lately, I feel like I can't save anybody." I said cutting him off… unintentionally ending the conversation. He sighed sadly before turning the music back up.

It was a rough night for the Winchesters. We bailed from the motel, and instead bunked down in an abandoned house that was closer to where the vics were killed. Plus it was free. We huddled down in the floor beside the fire place and all tossed and turned all night long. The next morning I was picking split ends out of my hair while Sam did some research and Dean made phone calls. As you can see I was extremely productive.

A knock at the door caught our attention. What the hell? Who even knows we're here?

Dean hung up and walked over, Sam and I with guns close by watched carefully. The door opened and my eyes instantly rolled, Sam went back to typing annoyed.

"Dear ... God. Are you actually squatting? Charming." Bela smiled. Dean huffed. "So how'd things go last night with Peter?"

None of us replied or made eye contact.

"That well, huh?"

"If you say 'I told you so', I swear to God I'll start swinging." Dean warned her.

"Look, I think the four of us should have a heart-to-heart."

"That's assuming that you have a heart." I pointed out kindly.

"Emily, please... I'm sorry about what I said before, okay? I come bearing gifts."

"Such as?" Sam asked.

"I've ID'd the ship." She said unzipping her portfolio and sitting down across from Sam at the old rickety table that only had two chairs.

"It's the Espírito Santo, a merchant sailing vessel, quite a colorful history. In 1859 a sailor was accused of treason. He was tried aboard ship in a kangaroo court and hanged. He was 37."

"Which would explain the 37 year cycle." Sam mumbled.

"Aren't you a sharp tack? There's a photo of him somewhere ... here." She said flipping the photo around for us to see.

"Isn't that the customer we saw last night?" I asked Sam.

"You saw him?" Bela asked surprised.

"Yeah, that's him, except he was missing a hand." Sam answered us both.

"His right hand?"

"How'd you know?"

"The sailor's body was cremated, but not before they cut off his hand to make a hand of glory."

"A hand of glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week. Dean laughed. None of us found it amusing and he abruptly stopped once he realized that. Oh brother of mine… you are something else.

"Dean, the right hand of a hanged man is a serious occult object. It's very powerful." Sam pointed out.

"And officially counts as remains." I added. "But still, none of this explains why the ghost is choosing these victims."

"I'll tell you why. Who cares? Find the hand, burn it, and stop the bloody thing." Bela pushed. Wait… somethings up. I swapped looks with a curious Dean. He was thinking the same thing I was.

"I don't get it. Why are you telling us all of this?" Dean asked her.

"Because I know exactly where the hand is."

"Where?"

"At the Sea Pines Museum. It's a macabre bit of maritime history. But I need help."

"What kind of help?" I asked.

"Well your help isn't needed Darling, sorry. Boys only."

"I'm sorry but you're going to have to explain this a little more before we agree to anything." Sam insisted sitting back crossing his arms.

"Fine." Bela sighed. "There is a charity event going on tonight at the museum and I needed a way in. Gert agreed to lend me her extra two tickets. But only if I promised her a date. So Dean, you'll be my date and Sammy here will entertain good ole Gert."

"What?!" Dean and I said simultaneously.

"I'm not just gonna sit it out because I don't have a date. I don't need a date to get in!" I yelled.

"Yeah and I don't' wanna be your date." Dean added.

Poor Sam looked ready to upchuck at the thought of having to be sexually harassed by Gert all night long.

"Listen, if you want to stop this thing from killing anyone else then you're going to have to play along. I've only got 3 tickets."

"Well then you stay and we'll go.

"Sorry… but I found the bugger and I'm going to be there to retrieve it." She smiled back at me.

I looked back and forth between Dean and Sam who actually seemed to be considering it.

"You two can't be serious." I said crossing my arms angrily.

"Em, maybe she's right. I mean we won't be gone long, and you can be our back up." Sam tried.

"Back up?! Now I'm back up?"

"Kiddo, c'mon don't be like that. None of us like it, but it's the job and its what we gotta do. So suck it up." Dean said firmly. I can't believe he's siding with Bela right now!

"No! Fuck you. You suck it up and I'll be Bela's lesbian lover."

"Oh I don't think so! I'm not letting you go off with someone I don't trust."

"Oh but you're fine with dumping me in the car so I can monitor the parking lot?!"

"Yes! I am… and that's final!"

I shook my head at him and looked down at Bela who had a pleased look playing across her lips.

"I've got you marked bitch, don't forget that." I said before storming out the door.

Fine… they wanna push me off the case. I'll do it on my own. I already know where the hand's gonna be. All I have to do is get into the party. I dug into my pockets and found my phone, my knife, and one of Dean's credit cards. A smile grew across my lips as the ideas fluttered. Looks like I'll be doing some shopping.

I walked into town and hailed a cab.

"The mall please." I said with a smile. The old indian man briefly smiled and nodded before clicking on the meter and driving into down town. I sat in the backseat and stewed in my anger. Something about Dean siding with Bela really bothered me. I mean it bothered me that Sam did it too, but it really hurt when Dean sided with her and told me to suck it up. I'm tired of sucking shit up. I'm tired of our fucking lives getting twisted around.

"We're here miss. It'll be $12.87."

I handed the credit card over and waited patiently as he scanned it. He handed it back with the receipt and we parted ways. I walked into the large glass doors of the mall in town and paused. I'm not super familiar with malls. It'd been forever since I've been in one… as a matter of fact the last time was when Dean and Sam took me. I sighed and walked into the center of the first floor that had a large map in the open food court. I ordered some fries and a coke before getting a paper copy of the map and deciding where it was I wanted to go.

I'm gonna need a dress… and shoes. Plus someone to do my hair and make up. The charity event starts in 3 hours. My buzzing phone interrupted my thoughts. I pulled it out of my back pocket and rolled my eyes. Its Dean. I rejected the call and put it back in my pocket.

It's probably driving him crazy not knowing where I am… but he'll know soon enough.

I made my way first to a fancy clothing store. I need something risqué. Something that's sure to bring steam out of Dean's ears. I mean if we're being honest here I DO want to work the case, but more than anything I want to make Dean as angry as possible. Why? Well because its fun. And right now I'm angry at him… so he can suffer a little.

I walked in and walked past several short cropped dresses… something short with heels would piss him off, but I really like longer dresses. I moved to the back of the store, something sparkly catching my eye.

"Can I help you?" A tall dark skinned woman asked, she was wearing a red sparkling halter top and tight black jeans, red heels to top it all off. Man. I'm glad I don't have to get that dressed up to work every day, not that killing monsters requires fresh mascara every hour.

"Yes, I'm looking for a dress, long, with um.. plenty of skin showing." I said with a devious smile.

"I think I know just the thing." She smirked and led me over to the corner where she pulled down a red dress. I barely got to see it before she rolled it and placed it in my hands.

"Don't look at it. Just put it on… Trust me." She said.

"Umm.. okay?" I said confused, walking to the dressing room. Once there I undressed and pulled the dress off the shelf letting it unravel and fall to the floor.

"Whoa." I breathed. This thing is intimdating. Lots of straps across the back… very little covering on the entire torso portion of the dress, but at least its floor length. It took me several minutes to figure out the straps on the backside of the dress, but once I did I pulled it over my head and down past my ass. I adjusted the girls, noticing this dress was pretty much a bikini top with a bunch of straps and some fabric across the belly connecting it to the long skirt- which by the way that has a slit that goes far enough up to show the bottom of my tattoo. It was red and silky, and it felt so nice across my body. It was definitely enough to make Dean's head gasket blow. I stepped out of the dressing room.

"Oh girl." The sales woman said putting a hand on her hip and popping it. "You're gonna drive those boys crazy in this dress." I turned and looked in the mirror. She was right, it was revealing, but still had a little bit of class. It was sexy.

"Yeah. It will." I said spitefully, only thinking of how outraged Dean will be when I walk in wearing this.

"So do we need shoes and accessories?"

"Yes please." I smiled.

She found me a beige clutch and shoes to match, before giving me gold dangly earrings that matched the gold buckle on the front of the clutch. I was set… all I need now was hair and make up. I left the store, everything in the bag and headed down to the hair salon on the level below, I requested something formal and it only took the girl an hour to curl and pin my hair in a half up/half down braided blend of beauty. She even popped in a few golden pins in the back to match the earrings, next up was the make-up. Oh Sephora. How have I never met you before?! I not only got my make up done but got to take home the make up that I bought for them to do it.

My eyes were framed in black and gold, my lips a dark maroon, and something called contouring caused my face to transform into something slim and sophisticated. Ya know… it's a shame I'm more worried about spiting my brother then finding a date. Maybe someone there will strike my attention. This is by far the prettiest I've ever looked, and I might even half to take a 'selfie' or two for my own personal memories.

I asked if I could change in the store's bathroom. She of course obliged and boosted my confidence as I walked out dressed and ready. I stopped in the mirror… wow. This doesn't. This doesn't even look like me anymore… I stopped and stared. My face was thin. And even under the make up, I could tell I was not happy. I shook my head.

No. No. I will not let my fucked up life stop me from looking fine as fuck and walking in there and proving myself. I CAN do this job. I CAN save people.

"Thank you." I smiled to her as I walked back out and hailed for another cab. I had them take me straight to the museum. Once there I found baby and broke into the trunk to stash my bag of stuff, I pulled my gun out and swapped it for my first gun, a very small .22 revolver that would go unnoticed in the clutch, along with my silver knife, and a little iron pick. Well… you can't say I'm not prepared.

I readjusted myself in the mirror of the car before sashaying up to the door like I belonged. See, that's the trick to lying. You have to act like you belong. Confidence is key. Once at the door I briefly glanced at the clip board in the man's arms and found a single female listed, then tweaked the last name by a few letters. Again- another trick of the trade. You can't pretend to be someone you don't know because you're likely to meet a door man who actually does know that person, so you tweak your name by just a letter or two and chalk it up to the fact that the list maker must have thought we were the same person and accidently erased you. I smiled graciously and squeezed the old man's arm as he moved the ropes for me to walk past.

I'm in. The satisfied grin on my face was prominent. The first thing I did was scope the room for my brothers and Bela. No sign. I made my way over to the bar and requested a glass of champagne. If I knew my brothers at all then I know one of them is bound to make their way to the bar. I stood idly, sipping my drink for several minutes. The several men of varying ages that took their time scanning my body did not go unnoticed, but I just couldn't care less. I wasn't moving until Dean saw me.

"Here alone?" A man asked me, obviously much older than me, although to be fair this make up probably ages me a solid 10 years. I couldn't hold it against him.

"Yes." I smiled before turning away.

"May I buy you another drink?"

"I'm still milking this one, but thanks." I said politely.

"Perhaps a dance then? Something to preoccupy your time."

"I'm waiting for my friends." I said a little firmer, I turned and looked at him a little harder. I could see now he was blazed. Probably a solid 15 drinks in. I was honestly surprised he could focus on me and stand up straight at the same time.

"We'll see about that." He mumbled before walking away. What a dick.

I took another sip of my drink and went back to the bar for a refill.

(Sam's POV)

"So, should I call you Sam? Or do you prefer Samuel?" Gert asked me seductively, I gritted my teeth and smiled politely.

"It's just Sam ma'am"

"Oh please, none of that Ma'am stuff tonight. Tonight, we are as one. No need for formalities." She said as we continued to sway on the dance floor."

I forced a smile to my face and was thankful that when she embraced me I was too tall for her to see my face. God can this night drag out any longer? Just as the thought crossed my mind her hands fell down m back and landed on my ass, squeezing it. I jumped slightly.

"You know, uh, could you excuse me for a moment?" I asked politely, watching Dean and Bela come through the door.

"Of course." She winked. "I'll go freshen up."

"Great. Thanks. Thanks." I said quickly making my way across the room.

"Exactly how long do you expect me to entertain my date?" I asked once I reached Dean.

"As long as it takes." Bela smiled. I rolled my eyes… why does Dean always get the hot dates?

"Look, there's security all over this place, all right. This is an uncrashable party without Gert's invitation, so..."

"We can crash anything, Dean." I reminded him.

"Yeah, I know, but this is easier and it's a lot more entertaining… hey have you heard form Em? She won't answer any of my calls."

"No she won't answer mine either. I'm sure she's still pissed at us for not letting her come. She'll be over it by the time we get back."

"Yeah maybe. I just hate not knowing where she is. She knows this shit drives me crazy."

"That's why she does it Dean. Don't worry so much, she's tough. She can handle herself."

"Yeah. Yeah I know. Hey, I bet your lady is getting lonely. Why don't you uh, give her some attention." He said with a wink.

"You know there are limits to what I'll do, right?"

"Ah, he's playing hard to get, that's cute. Come on. I want all the details in the morning!" He called as I walked away, but something stopped me in my tracks before I could get more than two feet away.

"What's wrong?" Dean said coming to stand next to me.

No… she didn't. Please. Don't be Emily. Don't be Emily. Don't be Emily. Don't be Emily. Don't be Emily.

"Wait." Dean said suddenly following my gaze. "IS THAT EM?!"

He charged towards her and I could barely keep up.

"Wait! Dean… calm down! You can't kill her in public!" I called out as I literally watched steam pour out of his ears. Once we reached the bar there was no doubt. The ass bent over the bar covered in red satin belonged to my sister.

Why does she insist on making my life more difficult?

I watched as Dean swiftly smacked her on the ass, getting her attention, when she turned he grabbed her arm and pulled her off to the side away from the party. I followed. Dammit. He's pissed. Walking I noticed the dress she wore clung much too tight, hugging her in every way a brother hates. The back was practically made of intricately woven yarn, the front, left her exposed from each side and barely covered her stomach and chest. I can't believe she did this.

"Ow! Dean, You're hurting me!" She whined as we moved away from the crowd.

"What the fuck are you wearing?!" He screamed once we were alone.

"Its called satin I think." She said calm and casual. She knew exactly what she was doing. She did this on purpose.

"Satin?! Seriously. That's what you have to say for yourself. Have you seen the way these guys are looking at you? Like you're working a corner!"

"Dean, calm down." I told him.

"No! Look at her! We can't let her walk around like this!"

"Emily what are you doing here?" I asked her. Not thrilled myself that she showed up half naked and bent over the bar.

"I'm working a case!"

"No you're not! You're bending your ass over the bar like a tramp!" Dean yelled at her.

"Yeah well just remember one of us didn't need to work with a traitorous bitch to get in the building! Obviously my methods are effective, whether you approve of them or not!"

"Methods?!" Dean yelled his face going damn near purple. "You are unbelievable! Carry your ass to the car! NOW!"

"No!"

"Excuse me?" He said quietly. Shit. He moved to pick her up and carry her outside, but I stepped in front of him.

"Dean, now wait… you're going to blow our cover and get us all kicked out."

"I don't care! Do you see what she's wearing?!"

"I know! I know… I get it. Okay?! I hate it too, but right now we need to get the hand, THEN we can deal with this." He huffed angrily and pushed me away.

I turned to look at Emily.

"You're not working the job, you're just stirring shit up. You did this just to piss him off. Ya know, I'm disappointed in you." Her face fell slightly, but she quickly contorted it back to anger. "I thought you wanted to save these people as much as I did, don't you realize everything you've done tonight did nothing to save anyone? All it did was make this harder on everyone."

"That's not fair. This is not my fault! It's Bela's!"

"You know, I hate her too Em. I do. But right now, we have a job to do. And you of all people know that. Again. I'm disappointed in you."

She stormed off back into the dancing area.

"Well, someone cleans up nice." Bela chanted as she walked in passing Emily on the way.

"I don't need your smart ass mouth at the moment! Lets just finish the damn job and get out of here." Dean growled as he and Bela walked back into the party. I turned to the wall and beat my head against it a few times before walking back out to my 'date.'

(Emily's POV)

Dean's words stung, but the sight of the veins in his neck sticking out and his face go purple were well worth it. Literally, he was so pissed the steam was rolling off his shoulders. Mission accomplished…. So why do I feel so shitty about it?

Oh. That's right. Sam's guilt trip.

Fuck them. Both of them. I'll get this hand and end this case myself.

I found my way to an exit from the main room that leads down the hall and up the stairs where I knew the hand would be. It was guarded, but a quick whisper to the guard about a man attempting to open a case in the lobby quickly rectified the situation. I ascended the steps quietly, glancing around the corners before I took them. I heard voices coming and quickly ducked into a room. I waited as the got closer, once they walked past the door I got this odd feeling. I recognized that voice. I peeked out the door and watched as Dean carried Bela bridal style into a room not far from the one I was ducking into.

A surge of jealousy shot through me. I don't even know why… it just. Boils my blood that he would not only side with her, but then take care of her? Seriously?

I felt the room around me shake a little and took a deep breath. The last thing I need is for these things to come out right now. I glanced in the mirror. Great. My eyes are red right now… I hate these abilities! I don't understand them.

I continued to deep breathe for a few minutes until things calmed back down and the color of my eyes returned. Once it did I left the room and went in search of the hand. As I began to slip out my door I froze. Dean opened a door and snuck out. He didn't see me, so I slipped off my shoes and followed him. I assume Bela told him where the hand would be, and all I had to do was follow him to it.

I stayed two or three steps behind the whole way, making sure to have something to hide behind for when he turned. His senses are strong. I assume he'll get the 'someone is following me' sensation. He finally stopped in front of a large door at the end of the hall and began to pick the lock. I waited till he stepped inside to move around away my hiding spot.

"Hey, all alone?" A voice called. I turned to see the drunk guy form earlier.

"I was looking for the bathroom." I giggled innocently. Pretending to be a bit tipsy.

"Seem to have lost your shoes Miss?"

"Amelia." I smiled.

"Amelia. How exquisite." He charmed. I knew at this rate I was busted and done for. I needed to lead him away before Dean comes out with the hand and we're really screwed.

"You wouldn't mind taking me back downstairs would you? I have a feeling maybe the bathroom was down there all along."

"Well of course." He smiled extending his arm to escort me. I reluctantly took it and allowed him to guide me downstairs. Once back in the main ball room we stopped.

"I do believe the bathrooms are across the way here in the lobby area, allow me to show you."

"That's okay I'll find it from here."

"No, no my lady I insist. Don't want you getting lost again." He breathed and it wreaked of whisky and mints.

"Thank you." I smiled reluctantly. As we walked I caught the glimpse of Sam dancing with Gert. His eyes met mine and were instantly concerned. Instead of showing to him that I was uncomfortable with this man and wanted to get away, I held my head up high and readjusted my arm, leaning in a little closer and laughing at… nothing.

As we left the crowd I began to pull away from him, he led me right up to the door.

"Thanks again." I smiled before entering the bathroom. As the door slung shut behind me I slid down to the floor and sighed. This night did NOT go the way I wanted it to.

Fuck. This. Shit.

I decided that it was just best that I go out to the car and wait for my brothers at this point. I stood and walked to the sink. Putting some cold water in my hands and placing them on the back of my neck. The alcohol I had consumed was making me feel warm.

I heard the door open but didn't care to look up and make small talk with anyone tonight. So instead I kept my eyes down at the counter as I dried my hands.

"You look so good in that dress." A deep voice called out. I froze… warning signals flew throughout my entire body. This is bad. Bad bad bad.

"Get out of here." I turned and said firmly.

"I lied. There's a bathroom in the main room… but. I thought we might get interrupted in that one. So I brought you here instead."

"I said GET OUT!" I yelled.

"C'mere bitch." He said as he approached me. We struggled, slamming each other against things. I swiftly kicked him in the jewels and reached for the door, but suddenly I was slammed against it.

"Ahh!" I cried out as my shoulder slammed against the wood.

"Help!" I screamed. Praying that someone would hear us. From this position he shoved himself against me and pinned me against the door. Fear flooded every cell in my body. From this position he had me. I was not able to fight back. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear.

"Mmmm… this dress has driven me crazy since you walked through the door." He growled as his hands traced the straps on the back of the dress. "It hugs you just right." He then grabbed my ass roughly, enough to leave bruises. I called out in pain, tears filling my eyes. I would give the world for Dean to come busting through this door right now.

"Please. Stop… My brothers. They're here and they'll kill you! Just stop!" I begged, but he laughed.

"What do you have hidden under this dress?" He whispered as his hands traced up the slit and hooked into the lace thong I was wearing, he swiftly yanked and ripped them off, I felt them fall to the floor.

"Oh god! Please stop! Get off of me!" I struggled, but he only pressed his body against mine with more force. I could feel him against my back… the more I begged the more he liked it. I hated this. I hated this whole night. I hated this dress. I hated this man.

I hated myself.

Why did I do this?! Any of this…

His hand dipped to reach around and his had graved across my pelvic bone, dipping to go lower. A new surge of fight ran through my body as I realized what was about to happen.

"No! No!" I fought, and suddenly he was being thrown off of me and against the stall door behind us. I turned and an all new feeling pulsed from my chest. If I thought anger was powerful… fear. Fear was so much more.

I walked forward. Afraid of the man only feet away from me, but I couldn't stop staring at him.

"What the hell!" He said frantically. "What are you?!"

I said nothing and continued to advance him. This… feeling. Deep in my chest, banging at the bones to get out, it needed relief. I had to let it out. I had to!

I raised my hand and watched as some sort of red haze poured from my palms and traveled like smoke across the floor until it reached the man, he panicked and screamed for help. But as he opened his mouth the smoke filled him. It flowed through his ears, his eyes, and finally he began to suffocate and fall to the ground. The closer he came to death the more the haze faded, until it was gone and left a lifeless body on the bathroom floor.

(Sam's POV)

I looked around nervously for Emily. She had walked by with some… guy. Older than me, getting his hands a little too low on her back for my comfort. Once I realized she must've left the room I looked for Dean. We needed to wrap this up and get her out of here before something happens.

"I'm sorry Gert, I think I need to check on someone. I'll be back in a minute." I said with a kind smile, she nodded and proceeded to the bar for another drink.

I saw no sight of Dean, so instead I left in the direction Emily went.

The farther I was from the party and the music the more I could hear a struggle somewhere near by.

"Emily." I breathed, all my senses went on edge. I just had this… feeling. Like something horrible was going to happen. It scared me. I'd never felt anything so strong before.

"Emily!" I called out. But there was no reply. Just more distant banging.

"Help!" A muffled voice yelled out. It was a mans. I became confused but ran towards the voice anyways. I quickly realized it was coming from the lobby area, as I entered the room I saw no one and quickly looked towards the bathroom. I leaned by ear against the men's room. Nothing. I moved to the women's.

I pressed my ear against the door and heard the sounds of someone choking. I quickly opened the door and the sight in front of me stopped me in my tracks.

In front of me was Emily. Her dress torn and hanging off her shoulder, her hair ruffled, and the sign of bruising starting to show on one of her shoulders. On the floor next to the door was her ripped underwear. In front of her lied the man who escorted her through the room… surrounding him was a thick dark red smoke.

Emily was controlling it. I watched as his body twitched for the last time. The smoke quickly faded and Emily's hand slowly fell back to the side. She was frozen in her place.

Was she in shock?

Was she afraid?

Was she hurt?

Did he… did he hurt my sister?

So many things rushed through my mind in such a short time. She began to quiver. Starting in her hands and working its way to her core. I heard soft sobs leave her body as her shoulder's began to shake.

I swallowed.

"Emily." I whispered. She quickly spun around, her eyes darting between me. Her underwear. The man. Almost like she was processing what had just happened.

"Em, its okay." I whispered to her as I stepped closer. She immediately retreated. "Kiddo its just me. I won't hurt you, okay? Its just Sammy."

"S-s-s-s-s." She couldn't form the word.

"Yeah sweetheart it's me. C'mon. Lets get out of here." I said reaching out my hand. She stared at it for a long minute.

"Emily. We need to go." I said a little firmer. She stood frozen, so I stepped forward and this time she allowed it as I grabbed for her arm. Once I made physical contact the shock of the situation instantly faded.

"Oh god! Sammy! What did I do?!" She began to sob hysterically.

"I didn't mean to do it! I didn't mean to! I promise" She cried as I picked her up and carried her form the bathroom and quickly out the door to the car. I pulled out my phone and dialed Dean's number.

"Yeah?" He said as he answered the phone.

"Dean." I said.

"What's wrong?! Is that Emily?" He asked hearing her through the phone.

"Get out now! We need to leave." I said before hanging up. I know it only panicked him more to cut him off and not explain. But we need to move fast before someone finds the body. Besides… I'm not really sure I know what to say. I don't know what just happened. I don't know if I can even explain it.

I was afraid to ask, but I needed to know. And I needed to do this before Dean showed up and only made the situation worse.

"Emily." I said as I sat her on the trunk of the car. "I need you to tell me what that guy did to you."

She shook her head no and didn't look me in the eye. This scared me. I knew something happened, but I need to know… I gotta know.

"Em. C'mon please. I need you to tell me before Dean gets here. Please."

She cried into her hands so she didn't have to face me.

"I.. I. I was going for the hand. I was following Dean, but he saw me. And so I left with him so Dean could get out unseen. But, he. He… he followed me inside." She stopped for a second. "He attacked me."

"Emily. Did he… did he. Touch. You?"

"He, he grabbed my ass and my legs.. And he ripped off my clothes… and then. He. He went to _touch_ me and I don't know what happened! I just freaked out! Suddenly he was off of me. Sammy I didn't mean to! I promise! I just couldn't hold it in!"

She began to sob again while I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Its okay Em. Its okay." I whispered to her. The sound of footsteps came closer at a quickening rate.

"Sam!" Dean called.

"Over here." I said. Dean came rushing towards the car. I went to step aside so he could check on Emily like I knew he would want to. But she reached out and clung to my jacket, pulling me back.

"Emily! Emily look at me… what happened babygirl?" Dean cooed as he grabbed her face and rubbed her tear streaked make up away from her eyes, not caring that its getting on his hands and his suit, his only concern was her. But she wouldn't look at him.

"Emily talk to me." Dean pushed, but she only pulled away from him. Her grip on me grew stronger with every attempt he made to talk to her. Eventually he gave up. I watched his frustration grow by the second.

"Emily. Please." He said one more time.

"Where were you?" She finally whispered. He didn't answer. He just stared at her with guilt in his eyes. I suddenly realized what this was… this was a repeat of the dragon. This was another instance where Dean chose to be elsewhere in her mind. This to her was so much more then it needed to be. But how can I explain that? That he still loves her as much if not more than he ever has? I wish she could see that this was just an unfortunate night. That the last time it wasn't his choice.

That he still wants to be her hero. That he hates himself for not being there.

"Dean. Lets go."

He nodded.

"Bela. Meet us back at the house." He said before getting in the car. I climbed into the back, taking Emily with me. She began to calm down finally. She sniffled as we drove past street light after street light. Dean was silent. Periodically he would look back at us. He never turned on the radio. He never cracked a joke.

It was at that moment I think he and I both realized things had changed…

(Emily's POV)

When we got back to the house I separated myself from Sam and walked inside. I grabbed my duffle bag and immediately changed. I took my time wiping all of the dark streaks of make up off my face. Underneath it all I was still pale. Dark rings under my eyes. I was still the same ole fucked up Emily I pretended not to be.

When I walked out I carried the horrid red dress. The boys made no attempts to stop me as I walked over and threw it in the fireplace, watching as the flames overtook the thin fabric in a matter of seconds.

"Emily." Dean said softly, I could tell he was right behind me, but I never heard his footsteps when me moved. "Talk to me kiddo."

"Did you get the hand?" I asked not turning around.

"Yeah, yeah kiddo we got the hand."

"Good. Now go destroy it."

"Em you need to tell me what happened tonight."

I ignored him as I walked over to my sleeping bag in the corner of the room, it was shuffled on top of a blow up mattress and some bundled clothes for a pillow.

"Emily please."

"You were with her, Dean. That's what happened."

"What do you mean?" He asked confused.

"I mean… you weren't there. Because you were with her. For the second time in a row now. I begged the universe to send you plowing through the door to save me. And you weren't there. And now look what I… look what I did." I whispered. The memory of the man's body being invaded by the smoke filled my mind.

I didn't have to look on his face to see the guilt. I could feel it coming off of him in waves.

"Its not your fault. Tonight was my fault. But still… you weren't there."

"Emily, what that guy did is NOT your fault." Sam cut in. "No matter what you're wearing no one has the right to do something like that."

"I shouldn't have been there. I should have stayed here. But I went anyways. Wearing that dress. Just to make you mad." I said as I finally looked up at Dean.

"Why?" He asked me.

"Because you chose her." I told him, feeling the pain crawl its way back up my throat. "You trusted her over me. You took her! Even when I was there… you went with her."

A knock on the door before it opened caught our attention. In walked the bitch of the evening.

I shook my head and laughed.

"Just go with her and destroy the damn thing so we can leave." I sighed turning my gaze back towards the fireplace.

"Emily. I don't care about the case…" Dean said.

"Oh please. That's all you care about! Killing as many evil sons a bitches as you can before you go rot in hell right?!" I yelled, tears fighting their way back to the surface.

"You know its funny who you chose to spend some of your very limited time with." I said looking over to Bela. "You know why she helped us don't you?!"

No one responded.

"See I had a little time to do some research. I finally noticed a pattern in the vics. They were all murderers. They killed their OWN family. Those brothers with big inheritance? Yeah. They offed their father to get it."

"And her." I said motioning towards Bela at the doorway. "She saw the ship Dean. THAT'S why she wanted our help getting the hand. THAT'S why she wanted to solve this case. Because she's a murderer! And she knew her time was ticking. So go ahead, take the damn thing and destroy it. Save the stupid bitch. I don't care anymore."

"Is this true?" Sam asked Bela. "You killed your own flesh and blood?"

"You wouldn't understand." Was her only reply.

"Emily. This conversation isn't over." Dean told me. Knowing that for now there was nothing he could say that would matter. But if I'm being honest… I'm not nearly as mad at him as I am myself.

What the hell have I become? What the hells happening to me?

What did I do?


	49. Chapter 49

Author's Note: Okay. So its after one in the morning again… but I came home, and the words just flowed, and since about 9 tonight I've just typed and typed and typed. I really want to know what you guys think of the chapter and of bringing in this character. Do we like him? Hate him? Want more? Want less? Thank you so much to my faithful reviewers for giving me motivation to keep on writing. I look forward to each one of your opinions! Love all you guys and thank you for coming to read about Emily! Please let me know what you think!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its characters.

Murderer:

A person who commits murder; a killer.

Hunter:

A person who kills evil entities; saves innocent people.

I've spent hour after hour laying here. Staring at the fireplace that engulfed the dress I paid an ungodly amount of money for just hours ago. Trying to understand what category I belong to. Sam finally dragged Dean away from me to destroy the hand with Bela. They returned an hour or so later without her thankfully.

I wish I could truly blame this night on her.

I wish I could blame what I did on her. Or on Dean's absence.

But I can't. I'm a murderer. I just… keep killing. Is this what yellow eyes wanted? Did he know that I was going to be an evil person? Did my Daddy know? Is that why he told Dean he'd have to kill me one day? Kill Sam… but Sam has been good. His abilities have vanished since mine appeared.

I would give anything to have visions and headaches. I would give anything to not be afraid.

Afraid of myself.

I stared at the small flickering flames that mixed with the soft snores of the two men on either side of me in the floor. The smaller the flames became the more suffocated I began to feel. Like the darkness that was slowly overtaking the room would consume me.

If it hasn't already.

I sighed as the last of the fire flared out. I slowly stood, carefully stepping around the giants on either side of me. I grabbed my boots and my jacket, and the gun slipped into my waist band. Thankfully this old house had no locks to fumble with, the door silently opened, and I cracked it when closing. So that the sound of it clicking shut wouldn't bring attention.

I stood on the moonlight lit old wooden porch. On my left was a broken rail and overgrown bushes. To my right was a very old porch swing. The chains linked with vines, I decided to take my chances and sat down. The air outside was crisp, but not cold. It was more comforting. I finally feel like I can take a deep breath. I shut my eyes, hoping that sleep would find me. But instead I saw him. Red haze pouring from his eyes… the noise that escaped his choked body, and finally the way his hands felt as they curved over my pelvic bone. It all made me want to vomit.

The swing moved and I jumped up, hand reaching down for my gun.

I instantly relaxed at the sight of Dean. He sat and looked straight forward. The way the moonlight hit his face allowed me to see the deepening wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. He was worried. He wore the emotion like a mask. I knew part of this was hell… but the other part was about me. I'm causing him more grief then I'm worth really.

He's got so little time left, and he spends it worrying about me.

"I don't like the idea of you not being there to save me." I finally said. "My whole life. You've always been the one to save me."

"I hate it too Em."

"I killed him… and I don't even know how." I whispered.

"Yeah, well. From what I understand he deserved it. Self defense isn't murder kiddo."

The words resonated with me. It was like he had been reading my mind all night. Like he just knew I had been comparing myself to the term all night long. Something about that felt comforting. To have someone know so much about you that you don't even have to explain yourself.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I let Bela take lead… you were right. I should've brought you in on this case. And I should've demanded to be the one that came and got you from that attic. I should've been with you tonight, and none of this would've even happened."

"Dean. As much as I wish I could blame this on anyone but me. I can't. We both know that."

"What happened Em? Please." He asked reaching over and giving my knee a light squeeze. I sighed and reached up, laying my head against his hand. He used his thumb to graze my hairline.

"One of the guys that was hitting on me was drunk. I mean. Obliterated drunk. I shook him off, but when you went for the hand I followed. He busted me, and it was either go with him, or we were both going to be busted and blow our cover. So I told him I was looking for the bathroom. He took me back downstairs… I figured he'd probably stand out there like a creeper. But I never thought he'd come in. He got the jump on me, I don't really even know how, but he was so much bigger than me and he had me pinned against the door, standing behind me."

I felt Dean tense beside me. I sat up and looked at him.

"De. I'm okay… He didn't get very far with his plan. There's a handprint on my ass and the purple lace thong you hated me getting ended up ripped off. When he." I hesitated, not sure how to word this and not feel exposed about it. "When he, reached around… I panicked. Suddenly I was so afraid, but then he was just gone. Thrown off of me. I felt so scared, and then it felt… I don't know. Like the fear itself was trying to claw its way out of me. I couldn't stop it."

He stared at me, motioning for me to continue. But I could already see in his eyes he knew what was coming. He knew I was going to say I killed another person because I couldn't control myself.

"Dean its never been like that… I mean its felt. Strong, even powerful? Maybe… but. The way it felt tonight. It was. Overwhelming. Like I was untouchable. Nothing in the world could have stopped me. All this red hazy smoke. It just… appeared and then, when I killed him. It was gone. Like it had never been there. De. I'm scared. What if Daddy was right? What if this is why you have to kill me…"

"No. Em, don't do that. Dad never wanted me or anyone else to lay a hand on you. He didn't know about all this. Sure maybe he knew something we didn't, but you and I both know Dad would never have kept something like this to himself. He would've told us about it, helped us. There's no way he knew what this was gonna be like."

"I know he wasn't exactly the nicest guy, trust me. But he was still a person."

"A really bad person I'm sure no one would miss." Dean quickly added with a playful grin.

"Dean. Stop. I'm being serious. I killed him. Just like I killed that poor girl at the crossroads. Just like I killed all those people the deadly sins were possessing. Dean I almost killed you!"

"But you didn't kiddo." He said reaching up and cupping my face. "You stopped yourself. YOU took control. If you can do it once then you can do it again. When demons possess someone they're as good as dead most times anyways, and I already told you what happened tonight, that was pure self defense. I can't even stand to think about what could have happened to you had you not done what you did. Or what if next week he went to another party and did the same thing? Huh? Did you think about any of that? Emily. You're not a bad person. You're not going darkside. You're just scared. And you need a little help. Stop putting all this on yourself and let us help you."

I looked down at the faded paint on the porch, but nodded. Maybe he's right… but maybe he's just saying this because he knows I'm upset.

"So what do we do now?"

"Now we go to bed. Tomorrow. We start over, okay? New day. I'll make sure I'm there for you. You won't have to do this alone."

"Dean its not as simple as that. This stuff doesn't just go away because the sun comes up."

"Why not? The only one that makes it difficult is you. So don't make this difficult. Don't let it drag you down. What happened, happened. Its done and over. So leave it there and move on."

"Dean. Promise me something."

"Em." He said with a sad look. "You and I both know my promises haven't been what they used to be."

"I don't care. Promise it anyways."

"Anything for you kiddo." He said with a small sideways smirk.

"Promise me you won't let me hurt you or Sammy. I would never be able to live with myself. Almost killing you under wrath's spell was hard enough. If I lose control, and you two are there. Don't hesitate to stop me, by any means necessary."

"Emily you know I ca-"

"Dean! You said anything. Now promise." I said firmly, holding out my pinky. He rolled his eyes but latched his finger with mine.

"Alright, can we go to sleep now?"

"Can we stay out here on the swing? Its kinda nice." I said sheepishly.

"Sure." He chuckled. He stretched his legs out in front of him and kicked off his boots. I did the same and curled into his side, his arm fell around me and he used his heels to slowly rock us back and forth until I fell asleep.

The next morning was bright. Apparently the front of the house is facing east because a very perky sunrise woke both Dean and I up fairly early. We packed up and he promised me I could snooze in the backseat on the way to wherever it is we were headed next. Something about vampires on the loose? I only heard bits of the conversation as we stopped for gas and cheap snacks. Sam shook me awake to offer me a bathroom break.

"Hey. Hey… I'm really happy you're finally getting some sleep. But this may be the last pit stop for the night. If you need to go I'd go now." He said kindly.

I slowly dragged myself up and out of the car to stretch my legs and pee before being back on the road. I left the bathroom and was making my way past the chips isle when something caught my eye. Mmm. Twizzlers. I reached for a bag, only to bump a hand in the process. I instantly pulled back and looked up.

"Oh I'm so-… wait a second, what the hell are you doing here?!"

"Well. Nice to see you too. I see you've not gotten any friendlier since we last met." Judson said with a cocky grin. I looked between him and the last bag of twizzlers hanging on the rack. I quickly snatched them. He grinned and grabbed the sour punch straws instead. I walked up to the register with him following directly behind me. I laid down the 3 smart waters and the twizzlers. Feeling victorious that I had taken the last bag and he wanted them.

"$5.18" Said a large balding man with a bored expression. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill… shit. I looked and looked for more, or for change. But I knew there wouldn't be any.

"I don't suppose we could cover the rest with an IOU?" I whispered sweetly as I slid him the five dollar bill. He looked between the money and me, extremely unamused. I sighed I went to walk out to the impala and grab some change, but before I could a long tan arm reached around in front of me and laid a quarter on the counter. I looked up.

I wish I could beat the smug out of this guy.

The cashier took it and pushed a receipt and my bag towards me, but my eyes never left Judson's.

"Thank you." I said with a tight smile, leaving as quickly as possible. I climbed back in the car with a huff.

"Everything okay?" Sam asked.

"Yes. Lets go." I snapped too quickly. Sam held up his hands in surrender.

"Sorry. Ran into a douchebag." I mumbled. As we pulled out I looked out the window and caught one last wink from the attractive guy with bright green eyes as he placed a helmet on his head and took off in the opposite direction.

Dammit! Why is he so good looking?!

A day later I was armed and ready, following my brothers through the alley as we tracked a vamp. I stayed close to Dean, like I had the last day or so. I stayed on his ass the whole time, arrows dipped in dead man's blood ready to aim.

Sam whistled lowly and pointed us over to a pool of blood, and the poor sucker lying in it. We moved quickly to approach him. He was covered in bite marks on his neck, and it was obvious by the amount of blood on the ground he was bleeding out. But there he laid, twitching, looking around at us wildly. Begging for help.

"Hey, hey. Don't worry. We're gonna call you some help, okay?" Sam leaned down and told him, but I knew it was just for comfort. This guy had minutes left.

"Where is she? Where'd she go?!" Dean quickly asked him. He vaguely gestured down the alley way. Dean nodded at me to follow him, Sam stayed with the dying man. I followed him and he had me stop, and pushed me behind a stack of boxes next to the dumpster. He winked, telling me to be ready.

He took two steps forward and pulled a knife, slicing into his arm. Dammit Dean… this is a stupid plan!

"Smell that?! Come and get it!" He yelled. A young blonde emerged. Her chin covered in blood. She stared at Dean, moving slowly towards him.

"That's right. Come on. I smell good, don't I? I taste even better." She was hesitant. "Come on! Free lunch!"

Finally she charged him, I stood and drew, aiming and breathing out with a release. The woman stopped, inches from Dean, but instead of falling to the ground she still charged him. Dean struggled with her for only a minute before the blood took affect.

"Whoo!" Dean panted. Sam came running up to us, looking between Dean and the woman on the ground.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Cutting it a little close, don't you think?"

"Yeah, thanks for letting me in on the plan asshole." I added swinging the bow over my shoulder.

"Ah ... that's just chum in the water. Worked, didn't it?"

Sam and I frowned to each other. He's getting wreckless again.

"Ow." Dean mumbled looking down at his still bleeding arm. I grabbed it and used a leather strap off my bow to tie it off.

"C'mon dumbass. I'll stitch you up back at the room. Sam, carry her."

Sam picked up the girl and we all made haste back to the impala, once we were out of there Sam called the police so that they could find the man's body. At least his family can bury him.

Once at the dingy room we were renting for the night we moved the furniture and tipped the mattresses up against the windows, to muffle any noise and block the view of any nosy neighbors. Sam carried in the vamp and tied her to a chair in the center of the room, she was still out, but it wouldn't be long before she bounced back ready to kill us.

"You with us?" Dean asked leaning over her and tapping her cheeks. She began to stir and pull at the rope.

"Oh, yeah, sorry. You're not going anywhere." I added with mock sympathy.

"Where's your nest?" Sam asked.

"What?" She asked, looking at Sam with pure confusion.

"Your nest... where you and your bloodsucking pals hang out." Dean told her.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I rolled my eyes. "Please! I don't feel good."

"Yeah, well, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot worse if we give you another shot of dead man's blood."

"Just let me go." She begged.

"Yeah, you know we can't do that." I laughed.

"I'm telling you the truth. I'm just... I took something. I'm freaking out! I don't know what's going on!"

"You took something?"

"Yes! I can't... come down. I just want to come down. "

I shared a quick glance with my brothers. Somethings not right here.

"What's your name?" Sam asked her with a slightly kinder tone.

"Lucy. Please. Just let me go."

"All right, Lucy, how about this? If you tell us what happened, we'll let you go."

"You will?" She asked looking between Dean and I, we both played along but there's no way in hell she's getting out of here. We all know that. Except her apparently.

"Uh, I don't really... um, it's, it's not that clear. I was at Spider."

"Spider?" Sam asked.

"The club, on Jefferson. And there was this guy... he was buying me drinks."

"This guy... what's he look like?"

"He was old, like thirty. He had brown hair, a leather jacket... uh, Deacon or Dixon or something. Said he was a dealer... he had something for me."

"Something?"

"Something new. "Better than anything you've ever tried." He put a few drops in my drink."

"Was the drug red and thick?" I asked. She shook her head and I sighed. This poor girl… I looked up to Dean.

"Well, genius move there. That was vampire blood he dosed you with." Dean told her.

"What?"

"Yeah, you just took a big steamin' shot of the nastiest virus out there."

"You're crazy! He gave me roofies or something! No... The next thing I know, we're at his place, and he says he's gonna get me something to eat, just wait. But I get so hungry."

"So you busted out?"

"Yeah. But it won't wear off... whatever he gave me?"

"Lights are too bright? Sunshine hurt your skin?" I asked sadly. This girl didn't ask for this.

"Yeah... And smells. And I can... hear blood pumping!"

"Well, I hate to tell you this, sweetheart, but your blood's never pumping again." Dean said.

"Not mine... yours. I can hear a heart beating from half a block away. I just want it to stop."

"All right, listen, Wavy Gravy. It's not going to stop. You've already killed two people, almost three."

"No, I couldn't. No-! I was hallucinating!" She sobbed.

"You killed them, all right? We've been following a sloppy trail of corpses, and it leads straight to you."

"No. No, it wasn't real! It was the drug! Please! Please, you have to help me!"

Sam nodded for Dean and I to step into the next room with him.

"Poor girl." I sighed. "Can we do anything? I mean we can't just kill her. She had no idea what was happening."

"We don't have a choice kiddo. She's going to kill again. She can't control it."

Sam sighed and shook his head in agreeance. Dean pulled out his machete and I turned into Sam, burying my face in his chest, he turned us away from the doorway so I couldn't see, and placed his hands over my ears. Trying to spare me… but I could still hear his heavy footsteps come to a stop.

"No... please!" She screamed before a large thud. Sam flinched, and I held on a little tighter.

"Em, why don't you stay in here, take a hot shower. We'll clean up."

I nodded. Sam stepped out and shut the door behind him, but not before I caught a glimpse of the headless body in the chair. I swallowed down the lump in my throat and moved to turn on the water. Sam opened the door once more to give me my bag and when he stepped out this time I locked it shut.

I went to bed that night curled into Dean's side. Willing the sight of the blood to leave my mind. We've gotta get this guy. This one. It bothers me. He's just trapping these poor women, tricking them into killing. Everyone in this is a victim except whoever is dosing these girls.

I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna kill him.

"Dean. Wake up." I said pushing at him.

"Hmm. Wha-what?" He said groggily.

"De. I know what to do. I got a plan. C'mon. Get up, get dressed."

I ran over and woke up Sam as well before stepping into the bathroom and getting changed.

"Emily! Wait, tell us whats going on." Sam prompted hitting the lamp.

"I know how to get him. Look okay, I know you're not gonna really like it at first but gimme a chance to explain okay?! Promise?"

"Yeah. Yeah, whatever just talk." Dean said rubbing his eyes and walking over to Sam's bed where I stood.

"Okay. So the target is young gullible girls at a bar. So let me go. I'll go up to the bar, I'll draw the guy in. And when he goes to make the move you two can take him out. Case solved!"

Dean stood there and nodded his head for a minute.

"No way in hell."

"What?! De c'mon I can do this! I'll be fine! You'll both be there."

"No. I'm not gonna let you play bait. We both know too many things can go wrong."

"De. This guy is bad. Really really bad. Look what he did to that poor girl! He's gonna do it again. The longer we sit around here the more chance he ahs to do it to someone else!"

"Emily. Its 2 in the morning. Clubs close in an hour. I'm sure if he was gonna make a move tonight he already has. We'll talk about this in the morning, okay?" Sam said. I sighed and dropped my bag.

"Fine. But I'm going to do this. I'm our best chance at getting him. We all know it."

"Just come back to bed you wreckless maniac." Dean said laying down and pulling up the blankets. I chuckled and conceded. For now. But I WILL take this bastard down.

"Only if I get to pick your clothes." Dean said with a mouthful of bacon cheeseburger.

"Ugh! Dean. You're gonna force me to wear a turtle neck! We're talking about a vamp here! We need them to want to bite my neck."

"Yeah well. Take it or leave it. It's the only way I'm even considering this."

"Sammy. A little help here?"

"No offense Em, but you're last wardrobe choice wasn't all that great. I'm with Dean."

"Fine! I give up. But no turtle necks!"

"Maybe." He said with a satisfied grin and a mouth full of food.

"So do we have any idea who we're looking for?" I asked sticking a few fries in my ketchup.

"Yeah, actually. I think we might." Sam said typing on his laptop before turning it in my direction.

"This is the footage from the club last night, there's Lucy. Watch…"

I watched as a man approached her at the bar. He was young, handsome, and they spent the rest of the night leaning into each other before they left together out the back door.

"So. That's Casanova."

"Yup." Sam said popping the P.

"Time stamp on that thing says he showed up a little after 10. I say we get there by 930 so we can scope him out first."

Dean nodded in agreeance.

"So in the mean time, I say we split up and I'll uh, I'll meet you two back at the room tonight." Dean said as his eyes grazed up and down our waitress.

"I swear, you're such a hypocrite. You're gonna bang the waitress but send me to the bar in a turtle neck."

"Yeah yeah yeah… Just be good. I'll be back by 9. Be ready. I get veto power on the outfit."

Dean left our booth and went to sit at the bar, flirting with the waitress. I looked up and Sam dangled the keys in front of me.

"Hope she has a car." He smiled. We quickly snuck out and took off back to the room. It was a pretty low key day. Sam researched the bar and dug around to find some info on our Casanova. I watched a Grey's Anatomy marathon. Oh Denny… my heart.

Sam and I had a pizza delivered for dinner and then I decided it was time to get ready for tonight. I really wasn't in the mood for jeans, besides I really wanted to draw this guy in. I went digging through my stuff and finally found something that I thought I could get away with. It's the black dress Sam bought me. Its super cute, but not super revealing, and it leaves my neck line open. It's perfect!

"Okay, think Dean will flip?" I asked pulling it out and holding it up to Sam.

"I think we can probably pull that one off. But put a jacket over it to help out."

"Fine." I said rolling my eyes and walking into the grungy orange painted bathroom to get ready. Geez these motels get uglier by the day. I dabbed on some gold and silver eyeshadow to pop my brown eyes and my black cowgirl boots, I popped my hair up in a sock bun with a few tendrils hanging down around my face. Perfect. I smiled as I glazed on some red lipstick.

I heard the door open and turned to see an all too smiley Dean come through the door. Gross.

"Em, lets roll!" He said as he quickly changed shirts, Sam stood and sprayed some cologne. I laughed and pulled out my favorite victoria's secret perfume and doused everything but my neck in it, I want this guy to get a good whiff of me when he moves in closer.

"Alright alright. I'm ready." I said walking out and slinging a small leather jacket over my shoulders.

"Seriously. You let her put that on?" Dean asked Sam.

"Oh c'mon! You had no problem with it when we bought it De! It's a nice dress, my tits are covered, it almost hits my knees, its not bad at all."

"I think she looks fine, and she's got a point about the neckline thing, we want that to be open if we're trying to bait him." Sam said defending me. I smiled proudly and he sent me a wink.

"The jacket stays on. That's my one condition."

"Deal." I said outstretching my hand, Dean rolled his eyes and pushed me towards the door.

Once we were at the bar I walked in with the boys and we scoped out a table that had a view of the entire bar, once settled I moved my way down. I looked around, trying to spot the man from the surveillance videos. No luck yet. I sat on a barstool down towards the end of the bar where I wouldn't be too obvious, and where this guy might be more likely to approach me. I turned and looked back at the table where my brother's sat, I shot them a questioningly glare. Sam shook his head, meaning he hadn't spotted the guy either. I sighed and turned back around, requesting a glass of club soda.

I piddled in the glass, occasionally glancing around, the longer the night went on the more discouraged I'd become. A few guys hit on me, but I quickly shut them down. Not wanting Casanova to get discouraged if he did finally notice me.

I want to nail this guy so bad.

"What the hell are you doing?" A voice said to me, I turned sharply.

"What?" I asked confused. Bright green eyes narrowed in on mine, they were full of frustration, and something that resembled worry.

"I said what the hell are you doing! Don't you know what's going on here?"

"Uh yeah. I'm working a case… and you're gonna blow my cover! So fuck off."

"I swear. You Winchesters are a whole new brand of stubborn. You need to leave town. Now. Its not safe here for you." He said getting closer to me, his gaze was so intense I almost couldn't form the words to speak next.

"I. We- no. No this is our case, I'm sorry you're having problems finding one on your own but it doesn't mean you can keep budding in on ours!"

"Oh my god… Emily, listen to me. YOU are in danger here. I'm serious. You need to leave. You don't understand what's going on here."

Just as he finished talking I saw him. The man from the tapes. Casanova. I met eyes with him and smiled, ignoring Judson's warning. He briefly smiled back. Then I watched him glance to Judson, who was still glaring at me.

"Look. I got this guy on the hook, and you've got about 10 seconds to get lost before you blow my cover! So leave, or I swear I'll ruin your pretty boy face."

"Ridiculous!" He said throwing his hands up in the air and stalking off angrily. Part of me wanted to go after him, but the other part really wanted this guy dead. So I sucked it up and coyly watched him before turning back to the bar and stirring my half empty drink.

"Is your boyfriend coming back?" A smooth voice whispered close to my ear. It made me shiver.

"I don't have a boyfriend. I said turning just my head to meet his gaze, then turning back. Pretending to be uninterested.

"Well. Fortunately for you, I don't have a girlfriend." He said as he sat down beside me. YES!

"Why is that? A guy like you… its hard to imagine you'd be in a place like this alone."

"I could ask you the same thing."

"Recent break up, he just wasn't… into the things I was."

"Oh? Like what."

"I'm not sure I should tell you… it might scare you away." I said shyly, tearing my gaze away.

"Nonsense. Tell me."

"Well… you have to promise not to laugh."

"Sure." He laughed.

"Look you're already laughing at me!" I accused playfully.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop. Tell me your darkest desires." He said seductively.

"Well… I like. Dark things. I like horror movies. Ghosts… creatures. Everything about it just. Intrigues me. I know that's probably super weird…" I pushed some hair behind my ear and looked back down at my drink. The man moved to grab my hand, I looked back up at him.

"My name's Jason. And I think you're exquisite." He then reached down and kissed the top of my hand.

"Emily." I smiled.

"Emily, allow me to buy you another drink."

I allowed him to reorder my drink, I sipped it, but pretended like it was getting me super buzzed. I apologized repeatedly about being a cheap drunk and let myself hang all over him. Periodically I would look over at my brothers, who gave an approving nod and kept a close watch.

Really though… I kept looking around for Judson. Something about his tone was alarming. He was serious, but I just couldn't let that get in the way of solving this case. The more I looked for him the more this whole thing bothered me. What did he mean danger? I mean yeah. I get this guy is preying on young girls… but he. He didn't seem to be talking about just him.

"So Emily, what do you say we get outta here, I know this quiet little spot right outside… I have something for you. Its gonna drive you wild baby."

"Oh yeah?" I giggled drunkenly. "I'm usually an X kinda girl but I'll try something new, just as long as you promise to do it with me."

"Of course." He smiled, he stood and reached out his hand. I grabbed it and let him lead me out, but not before I looked back and made sure my brothers were close behind me. Once I caught the glimpse of them on the move I turned my attention back to Jason, letting him lead me out the back door and into the alley away from the road.

He pushed me against the wall and kissed me a few times, I played along, but quickly pushed him off.

"Okay Mr. Tease. What do you have for me?"

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small red vial, he popped the top on it and lifted it between our faces.

"What is it?" I asked innocently.

"One drop of this, and your life will never be the same."

Just as he moved to push it towards me Dean appeared and yanked him backwards, throwing him to the ground. Sam moved to stand beside me and handed me my gun.

"Well well well… that smells like vampire blood." Dean said taking a whiff of the vial and dumping it onto the ground next to the perv.

Gun fire came out of nowhere and Sam pushed me down on the ground as we scrambled to hid behind a dumpster. Dean followed and unfortunately the guy took off, I went to run after him but Dean yanked me backwards just before a bullet grazed me.

"Dammit!" I yelled. "Who the fuck is shooting at us!"

"I don't know! It better not be that punk that was talking to you at the bar."

"Come on out Sam… don't make this harder than it has to be." A familiar voice called out. Gordon.

"Oh! Come on!" Dean yelled. "I thought you were locked up!"

"Yeah well I'm out, and I'm ready to put an end to this cat and mouse game we keep playing. We all know how this is going to end."

"Hey Gordon, do me a favor and go fuck yourself!" I yelled back.

"Hey! Hey!" A whispered yell caught our attention, we all turned to look at the building across the alley, there stood Judson.

"I'll cover you, ready?"

"Yeah." Sam nodded, we got ready to run and waited till Judson stepped out and started emptying his mag. We all took off for the other alley and as soon as we were safe Judson followed behind as we all made a break for the parking lot, I don't think I've ever seen Dean jump into Baby so fast, but in less than a minute we were all panting, looking around for any sign that Gordon was following.

I looked over to the man sitting next to me and briefly noticed our knees were touching. I quickly straightened up and pulled my leg away from.

"Hey man, not that I don't appreciate the good timing but what the hell are you doing here?" Dean asked looking back at us in the rearview mirror.

"Caught wind of the vamp case. When I got here I found out Gordon was in town… and lets just say it wasn't vampires he was hunting."

"So you knew he was after us?" I asked, finally understanding what he meant at the bar.

"Maybe next time you'll listen to me." He said frustrated.

"Oh c'mon can you really blame me? I mean you stalk me, show up out of nowhere and damn near blow my cover."

"Oh hunny, if I was stalking you- you'd know it. I promise." He said with a wink and sexy grin.

"Ugh, whatever." I scoffed, knowing I didn't have a good response. "So what do we do now."

"Well you three should skip town. I'll finish off the case."

"No way! I'm finishing this case. We put in all the time, and I'm not just gonna hand it over to you."

"Yeah, cause flirting is hard work." He mocked.

"Hey, you two knock it off." Dean yelled.

The rest of the ride to the motel was silent. I shared a concerned glance with Sam… what else did Gordon tell this guy. I mean I know he just saved our lives and all, but how do we know he's not just setting us up FOR Gordon. I mean, its not the first time that Gordon pulled other hunters into this.

Once back we walked in and Dean quickly locked the room and set salt lines, blocking the windows incase Gordon showed up.

"We should probably swap motels, just incase." Dean mumbled before walking back over to us all.

"So." Sam said looking at Judson. "What did Gordon tell you."

I was nervous to hear his answer… The guys a dick. But he's a hot dick. And I don't want him knowing I'm a freak… I don't want anyone knowing I'm a freak. The boys and Bobby are the only one's who really know whats going on.

"A bunch of mumbo jumbo about you and Emily leading the demons and ending the world." He said casually. I watched his face carefully as he glanced between Sam and I.

"And what do you think about that?" Dean asked, handing him a beer. I tensed.

"I think he's always been a little crazy, but something in his head must've snapped. I mean. I know there was a lot of chatter about a yellow eyed Demon, but I also heard you guys took him out. Doesn't seem like you're on their side to me."

"Good." Dean nodded.

"How did he know where to find us?" I asked.

"Don't know. Said he got a tip from a friend."

"A friend?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. He didn't elaborate."

I thought about who we've had contact with lately… then it struck me.

"Dean." I finally said. "The bitch…"

I could see it when realization hit him. He quickly dug for his phone and dialed.

Uh, yeah, I guess so. You know, how the hell did he know where to find us?

"Hi, Bela." He smiled sarcastically. "Question for you. When you called me yesterday, it wasn't to thank me for saving your ass, was it?"

I shook my head in anger. Why the fuck is Dean taking her calls anyways.

"Excuse me?... I don't know, maybe pick up the phone and tell us that a raging psychopath was dropping by?!... He tried to kill us!"

"Bela, if we make it out of this alive, the first thing I'm gonna do is kill you… Listen to my voice and tell me if I'm serious." He growled before hanging up.

"I told you she was a lying bitch." I said stepping up to Dean with my arms crossed. "Why the fuck are you answering her calls anyways?!"

"Oh shut up… I don't need your attitude tonight."

"Yeah well I didn't need the vamp to get away tonight, but looks like neither of us are getting what we want tonight Dean!"

"Hey! Knock it off." Sam said stepping between us. "Right now we need to figure out our next move."

"Easy." Judson cut in. "Skip town. I'll finish up."

"No! Dean… that vamp is still out there. We can get him!"

"First things first." Dean started.

"Gordon." Sam finished.

"We've got to kill him." Dean pushed. "He's not left us any other option. Its us or him, and I for one am not gonna let him take another shot at you or Emily. I should have killed him the first time he laid hands on her."

"Yeah, I know." Sam agreed. Dean and I both looked up in surprise. Sam was so against killing anything close to human, but there was no argument.

Really? Just like that? I thought you would have been like, No, we can't, he's human, it's wrong." Dean mocked. I threw something at the back of his head and sent him a warning glare.

"No, I'm done. I mean, Gordon's not gonna stop until we're dead... or till he is."

"Great. So what's the plan?" I asked. But Dean's ringing phone cut me off.

"What?!" He scowled, putting it on speaker.

"I don't like it when people hold grudges against me, and more to the point, I'd rather you didn't kill me, so I went ahead and found Gordon's exact location for you." Bela's voice chanted through the phone.

"You're a hundred miles away. How the hell did you—"

"Hello? Purveyor of powerful occult objects? I used a talking board to contact the other side."

"And?"

"Warehouse. Two stories, riverfront, neon sign outside."

"Thanks."

"One more thing. The spirit had a message for you. "Leave town, run like hell, and whatever you do, don't go after Gordon." For whatever that's worth."

Bela hung up and Judson stepped forward and threw his hands in the air.

"Like I said! Leave town… I'll finish up here."

"So what you're gonna kill Gordon just cause we said so?" I asked skeptically.

"I mean, It would be doing the Winchester's a favor. You three would owe me, and having the Winchester's owe you a favor isn't a bad thing."

"No." Sam cut in. "We need to end this one ourselves. We're not gonna drag other hunters into our fight."

"I agree." I nodded.

"Well, then allow me to offer my assistance."

"Why are you so eager to help us?" Dean asked him stepping closer.

To be honest, part of me wanted him to take off. The other part thought… wouldn't hate it if he stuck around. Dammit! Why is he so confusing?! He's a prick… but a sexy prick.

NO! Emily. Stop… sexy prick is not a good thing!

"I told you. A favor from the Winchester's is a valuable thing. Besides. Gordon seemed like a dick."

"So did you." I mumbled.

"Fine. But if this has anything to do with her… I'll cut your balls off." Dean said motioning over to me.

"DEAN!" I yelled, my face flushing in embarrassment.

"Hey, hands are off. Seems a little high maintenance for me anyways." He said sipping his beer and raising his hands in surrender.

"Hey! I am not high maintenance!" Yup. He's a dick…

"Well, you can be a little high maintenance sometimes kiddo." Sam said thoughtfully. I chunked and empty beer can at his face and he barely dodged it.

"You're all assholes. I'm going to get my shit out of the car."

"Hey, wait. Don't go out alone." Dean called.

"Dean. I have a gun. I'm fine."

"I'll go with her." Judson spoke up. I groaned and dropped my shoulders. Somehow I feel like we're gonna be stuck with this guy. I pushed my way out the door, and moved quickly to the trunk. Grabbing my duffle and my make up bag.

"So, do you guys always pick such crappy motels?"

"We try and stay under the radar. These places are about as low on the radar as you can go." I explained without making eye contact with him.

"Yeah. But they all smell bad. Don't you get tired of that?"

"Look." I said turning and facing him, slamming the trunk. "I don't know why you're so set on working with us, but I'm on to you… whatever this little game you're playing is. I suggest you back out now, you and I both know any one of us could take you out in a matter of minutes."

"Emily." He said with a smile. "Would you like me to carry your bags?"

"Ugh!" I groaned, turning back towards the door and going back in. I could hear his laughter follow me in.

"Em, jump up on the counter. I'll clean up your knees, then you can change so we can go find this warehouse." Sam said catching me as I came through the door. I looked at him with confusion, and then down at my busted up knees. I hadn't even noticed before now.

"Aww." I said as I noticed the hem of my dress was ripped in the front. I held it and looked up to Sam with puppy dog eyes.

"Sorry kiddo, maybe we can stitch it up." Sam said sympathetically. I wouldn't even care if hadn't been the dress that Sam bought for me. I hopped up on the counter and let him clean up the cuts on my knees, Judson watched tentatively. I wasn't sure if I found it weird, or caring. Either way. It made me nervous.

"All done." Sam smiled helping me hop off the counter so I could go get changed. I put on Jeans and my zeppelin long sleeve. Dean's favorite shirt.

"Alright, lets go find this place." Dean said as he loaded extra mags into his pockets and tossed me a small bottle of dead man's blood.

"You know how to use this stuff?" He asked Judson.

"Dead man's blood, its like a paralytic."

"Alright, don't miss." He said as he handed him a few dipped bullets and the knife that had been coated in it.

We drove around downtown for about an hour before we found a place that matched the description Bela had given us. Dean took lead, he called for me to flank him and Sam and Judson took the opposite side of the hall. We moved room to room, as we reached the back of the building I could hear muffled cries. I tapped Dean and he nodded, telling me he heard it to. He lowly whispered, signaling Sam to head our direction. Moments later Sam and Judson were right behind us as we moved forward in the room.

The sight in front of us was gruesome. There were several women, their bodies tied up and hanging form the ceiling. Their heads on the ground below them. Next to them was Jason, and in the center of the room sat an older man. Mid 40s if I had to guess… he was sobbing. He looked up and spotted us.

"Go ahead. Do it. KILL me." He yelled.

"What happened here?" I stepped up and asked.

"Gordon Walker. I never should have brought a hunter here. Never. I just... I just wanted some kind of revenge. Stupid... exposing him to my family."

"Oh, yeah, you're such a family man." Dean said walking forward. I hesitantly followed. Staying as close as I could to Sam without coming off as a weak little girl. I don't need to give Judson anymore ammo to ridicule me.

"You don't understand."

"I don't want to understand, you son of—"

"I was desperate! You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?"

"Well, there's Hell."

The words made me shudder… I had thinking a lot about hell… I'm sure Dean has been too.

"I wasn't thinking. I just ... I didn't care anymore. Do you know it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like ... it's like being dead already. So just go ahead. Do it."

"Dean. Head wasn't cut off, it was ripped off. With someone's bare hands." Sam said, getting all of our attention.

"What did you do to Gordon?" I asked the vamp hesitantly.

"I made him into the one thing he despised the most… I ruined his life. And then he ruined mine."

I looked at Dean, worry filling my face. Gordon as a vampire?! Could this get worse? My eyes bounced from body to body… this wasn't just evil. This was haunting. This was pure hatrid. This… was psychotic. And this guys looking for us… for me. Wants me dead.

"Judson. Take Emily back to the car." Dean cut in, I looked at him and knew he had been watching my face.

"Dean I'm fine."

"Take her, now."

He reached up and pulled on my arm, I didn't fight him. Instead I let him guide me back towards the door. Once we were at the car we climbed in the backseat.

"So, the bodies bother you?" He asked out of nowhere.

"What?"

"The bodies… that's the part of the job that gets to you. Isn't it?"

"No. I can do the job just fine."

"I didn't say you couldn't do the job. I just asked if the bodies was the part that bothered you."

"Yeah. Sure. I guess." I said staring out the window. Refusing to admit he was right.

"For me it's the kids."

"The kids?" I asked him curiously.

"Yeah. The kids who die… the ones who end up orphans."

"Yeah. That part is kinda hard." I agreed.

"Its not all the bodies… just the. Dismembered ones."

"Bad experience?"

You have no idea…

"Yeah. Something like that."

Dean and Sam got back into the car and we moved back to the motel. Once there Dean loaded our stuff and we moved to a new motel across town, incase Gordon caught our scent. Once there we burned saffron and some other scent deterrents.

"Alright. Here's the deal. I'm gonna go look for Gordon. You guys are staying here."

"De let us help."

"No way. He's after you two. I'm not fixing to let him catch your scent. You don't leave this room. Got it? The kid's gonna stay too. Just incase Gordon shows up."

"And what happens when he finds you alone?" I asked.

"He doesn't want me kiddo. I'll be fine." Dean kissed my forehead and busted out the door, Sam moved to lock it behind him and fix the salt lines.

"Why don't you hit the sack Em, I'll take first watch." Sam offered. I nodded and climbed into the bed farthest from the door. It was odd trying to sleep knowing Judson was in the room. But after while the exhaustion finally won out and I drifted to sleep.

Once I did, I didn't find peace. I found bodies… hanging from the ceiling. Blood… all over the floors. I panicked, turning and looking for an exit to run towards. But when I did I ran into more bodies. I screamed. Pushing my way past them.

"I know what you did." Gordon's voice flowed through my ears.

"I know what you are Emily… you're a killer. Like me."

"No! NO! Leave me alone!" I said as I ran in the opposite direction, tripping over limbs.

"You know what I have to do doll. I have to stop you."

Terror ripped through me. He was getting closer. I ran as hard and as fast as I could. Just when I thought I was safe I stopped to catch my breath. I leaned back up and turned, coming face to face with Gordon, his machete in the air.

"AHHH!"

"EMILY! Wake up…" Sam's voice cut in. Cutting the dream off at the exact moment the machete made contact with my neck. I instantly threw my hand towards my neck and grabbed at it, checking it for wounds, or blood.

"Whoa, hey. You're okay. You're fine."

"Dean?" I asked out of breath.

"He called, said he found nothing. He'll be back any minute now. You good Em?"

I stared around the room, looking for Gordon. But instead my eyes landed on Judson. I had forgotten he was here. He looked back at me with honest concern. His gaze was intense… I felt so small staring straight into his eyes. Like he was this… incredible being, and I was just. Plain old me.

"Emily?" Sam asked again. Using his hand to force my gaze back on him. I nodded my head up and down. Trying to control my breathing again. I shut my eyes and leaned forward against his shoulder. The last thing I wanna do is have a panic attack in front of this guy. I refuse.

"Was it hell hounds?" Sam whispered to me, knowing that they had been the reoccurring theme.

"No… Gordon." I admitted quietly. Sam sighed.

"He's not getting near you again Em. I promise."

"I know… I'm gonna try and go back to sleep." I felt uncomfortable knowing another set of green eyes were still on me. Sam kissed my cheek and moved off the bed. I looked back up to Judson and his gaze hadn't left. He stared at me… eyes full of worry. It caught me off guard. As Sam walked past him he finally pulled his eyes away from mine.

I laid back down but couldn't fall asleep. Dean came through the door not long after.

"Well. I've got a giant load of jack shit."

"Nothing?" I asked sitting up.

"Yeah. Nothing. So for now we bunker down and wait for him to draw us out. Cover our scent. Emily. Gimme your phone."

I sat up confused and handed it to him. He threw it down and crushed it.

"DEAN!" I yelled jumping out of the bed. He proceeded to smash his and Sam's as well.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"He can use those to track us. Here. New phone"

"Ugh! I'm gonna strangle you one of these days."

"Geez. You're cranky… did you have another nightmare?"

"NO." I bit back, looking nervously between all three of the men in the room. Dean shot me a knowing look. I quickly walked away from him and scanned the new phone. It was only loaded with the boys numbers and Bobby's. Great.

Dean's phone suddenly began to ring.

"Dude. Seriously. You've had the damn phone for 5 minutes. What slut could possibly have your number already?!"

"I didn't give my number to anyone."

"Just answer the damn thing already." Sam said stepping forward. Dean answered and put it on speaker.

"Hello?"

"Dean." Gordon's voice sent shivers down my spine. My all too recent nightmare plaguing my thoughts again. I instantly moved to stand closer to Sam. Judson noticed, but I forced myself not to look at him.

"How'd you get this number?"

"Your scent's all over the cellphone store. Of course, I can't smell you now. Where are you?"

"Well, I guess you'll just have to find us, won't you."

"I'd rather you come to me."

"What's the matter, Gordo? You're not afraid of us, are you? We're just sitting here. Bring it on!"

"I don't think so." The sounds of a woman crying filled the phone. Dean's face changed instantly.

"Please. Please.." She begged.

"Factory on riverside off the turnpike. Be here in 20 minutes or the girl dies."

"Gordon, let the girl go."

"Bye, Dean."

"Gordon! Don't do this. You don't kill innocent people. You're still a hunter."

"No. I'm a monster."

He hung up the phone and Dean threw it across the room.

"Son of a bitch!" He yelled.

"So what do we do now." I asked.

"We go." Sam insisted. "I mean we don't have another choice… he's gonna kill that girl if we don't."

"Alright. Everyone load up… Kid if you want out, now's the time to run."

"I'm always down for a good fight." Judson said with a casual shrug of his shoulders.

"Okay. Thanks man." Dean said reaching out his hand. Oh this is so getting weird… since when does Dean like this guy?!

We moved silently, but quickly as we packed up our gear and made our way to the warehouse where Gordon was holding the girl hostage. The door was wide open, and the cries of the woman made it extremely easy to find her. Dean was on edge. He and Sam both had a hand on me at all times.

"Hey, we got you. Don't worry. We're gonna get you out of here… Get up. Watch your head. Watch your head." Sam whispered to her as he helped her. She sobbed and could barely walk. Dean slung her arm over his shoulders and picked her up to carry her out.

"Sam, Em, stay close."

Sam moved in front of Dean to take lead, gun raised. I moved to follow immediately behind Dean and Judson followed closely behind. At this time I was thankful for his presence, it made the job easier. We moved through the last of the first floor and had the front door in sight, we all relaxed slightly and Dean and Sam picked up the pace.

Before I realized what was happening a door fell and slammed shut inches form my face, I fell back against Judson, his strong arms caught me.

"Dean! Sam!" I yelled banging on the door.

"Emily! Emily!" Dean yelled back, slamming against the door, but it wasn't budging from either side.

"Here move, watch my back." Judson said as he pushed me aside and pulled against the door.

"Emily, get to a window and climb out!" Dean yelled.

"De! I'm scared!" I yelled back. Not caring that the asshole behind me would mock me for this later.

"I'm coming babygirl… just find a window and get out until I can get to you!"

"Okay." I said shakily. Trying to swallow down the lump of fear.

"Judson, I swear you better watch her." Dean growled. I turned and looked at Judson, he didn't show a bit of fear, just frustration.

"Stay close to me okay? Grab the back of my shirt, don't let it go. We just have to stay together. Don't let him separate us."

I nodded nervously.

"Emily. Trust me. I'm not gonna let him hurt you."

"I just want to get out of here." I whispered looking down at my feet.

"I know, c'mon. I'll get you back to your brothers."

Judson pulled his machete form the sheath and led us back towards the first floor. I did as he said and wadded a handful of fabric into my left hand, machete in my right. The farther in we went, the further from Dean I felt. It made me nervous. Knowing that I had to put my life in the hands of some guy I barely know… but oddly enough. I felt safe every time he looked back at me. Like something in his eyes calmed me.

The lights cut out and I gasped softly, freezing in my place. The sound of another door shutting caught our attention. I could barely hear it as Dean yelled Sam's name the same way he did mine. Gordon separated them.

"Sam…" I whispered. "He's going after Sam."

"Emily stay with me here, okay? If we can get out the window then we can come back in for Sam."

I stared into eyes as green as an emerald and nodded. He pulled my arm and I moved with him through the rest of the building. Once we reached the window he busted out the glass and laid an old sheet over the bottom so we didn't get cut. He looked down. It was about a 5 or 6 foot drop. I gulped nervously.

"Okay. Listen. I'll go down first, once I'm out. You jump. Don't hesitate. Don't give him the chance to catch you alone. You jump as soon as my feet hit the ground. Got it?"

"Yeah. I- I think."

"You can do this. Deep breath." He said putting his face inches from mine. The movement sent this odd sensation through my entire body. Like his words were magic. I felt calm.

"Okay."

He moved and jumped out the window, as soon as he was gone I climbed out and took a deep breath, I closed my eyes and jumped. I held my breath until I felt strong arms catch me.

"Good girl, c'mon. Lets go get Sam." He said as he set me down and pulled me back towards the front of the building. We walked in again and followed the sound of voices.

"You have no idea what I faced to get here. I lost everything. My life. But it's worth it, 'cause I'm finally gonna kill the most dangerous thing I ever hunted. You're not human, Sam." Gordon grumbled, the closer we got, the easier it was to hear them.

"Look who's talking."

"You're right. I'm a bloodthirsty killer. But I'm not the only one… She's killed. She shed blood. She's just as much of a monster as I am Sam, we both know it."

I froze. Realizing Gordon was talking about me.

"You're wrong. She's not like that… she can't help it. YOU have a choice Gordon."

"I don't."

"Yes you do, Gordon. You didn't kill that girl."

"No, I didn't. I did something much, much worse."

"Oh my god… Judson, he turned her. She's with Dean!"

"Okay, you go find Dean. I'll stay. Back Sam up."

"Judson." I said pulling him back towards me before he could get away. "Don't let him kill my brother."

"Hey, I kept you safe didn't I?" He said with a cocky grin and a wink. I moved further in where I expected that Dean and Sam got separated.

"Dean!" I called out. "De!"

"Emily?!" I heard his voice off to my left. I moved quickly, coming to a locked door. I bent down and picked it with a bobby pin. I flung the door open.

"Dean! She's a vamp!" I yelled as I barged in.

"Yeah. I know." He groaned from the floor. Holding a bloody hand up to his neck.

"De are you okay?!"

"Bitch bit me…"

"She didn't bleed on it did she?"

"No. I'm good, where's Judson."

"Backing up Sam, he and Gordon were having a lovely chat right before I left, lets go."

I pulled Dean up from the floor and briefly checked his wound. Thankfully she missed his jugular but there's no telling how close she really was. Dean was a lucky son of a bitch tonight.

"Guess you're the one coming to my rescue tonight." He teased as we ran towards the sound of a struggle.

Once we approached there was the sight of Gordon and Judson fighting, Judson seemed to have the upper hand but in one swift move Gordon flipped and threw Judson across the room. I moved to charge him but Dean held me back.

"Wait. Look." He said pointing. I watched as Gordon turned and Sam charged him, barbed wire in hand. He shoved him against the wall and pushed the wire through his neck… slowly. One inch at a time until his head rolled to the floor. Dean pushed my face against his chest, knowing I didn't want to watch, but I couldn't force myself to look away.

"Sam. You just charged a super-vamped-out Gordon with no weapon. That's a little reckless, don't you think?" Dean said breathless.

Sam chuckled in response.

Soft groans in the background caught my attention. I turned to see Judson pull himself up off the ground and walk towards us.

"Wow. You Winchesters sure know how to have a good time." He groaned, holding his ribs. We all chuckled a little. I moved towards Sam and wrapped my arms around him. We were alive… we were all alive and Gordon was finally Dead.

We moved back to the motel and Sam stitched up Dean. For once I got away with no serious injuries. The boys however were not as lucky. I watched them stich each other up for a while, but Judson flinching as he reached for a beer drew my attention. I climbed off the counter I had been sitting on and walked towards him.

"Let me see em."

"What?" He asked confused.

"Let me see… you're hurt. I happen to have a vast amount of knowledge in the field of first aid."

"I'm fine. Really."

I pushed him to the left and watched him flinch as he caught his balance.

"You're full of shit. Let me see."

He sighed and rolled his eyes but finally lifted his shirt. There were dark bruises on one side of his tan chiseled body.

"I think you cracked a rib. Maybe two."

"Great, your recommendation nurse?"

"Wrap it with an ace bandage, take some pain killers, sleep it off."

"Hey, uh… thanks. For everything. We coulda been screwed without you."

"Anytime. Life with the Winchesters is never boring."

"Oh you have NO idea." I laughed.

"So. How long have you been waiting for an excuse to get me out of my clothes?" He asked cockily. I stopped wrapping his ribs and looked at him incredulously.

"Seriously?! I try and offer my gratitude. And you take this chance to be a perv…"

"Well. You did linger a little longer than necessary."

"I did not!"

"You did too." He smirked.

"Oh fuck off." I said punching him in his injured ribs before walking back over to the boys.

"Well. As fun as this has been, I think I'm gonna head outta town before someone finds the trail of bodies." He said walking over to the three of us.

"Yeah. I hear ya, we won't be far behind." Sam nodded.

"Thanks for your help… you need a favor you know where to find us." Dean said walking forward. He and Judson shook hands, then he and Sam did. I rolled my eyes and waved when he looked in my direction.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out." I smiled fakely.

"Till next time, Emily." He said before disappearing out the door.

"Alright, he's got the right idea. Lets get the hell out of dodge." Dean said packing up the first aid kits.

We drove all night and ended up eating breakfast burritos on the side of the road next to a small creek. Dean said Baby was making a funny noise and he wanted to check it out. Sam and I sat on the top of the coolers while Dean hid himself under the hood.

"Here you go." Sam said handing Dean a beer.

"Thanks."

"Seriously guys? Its like 8 am."

"Eh, its 5 o clock somewhere." Dean shrugged taking a sip, Sam followed.

"Figure out what's making that rattle?" Sam asked him.

"Not yet. Give me a box wrench, would you?"

"Yeah. There you go." Sam said stretching over to give it to him.

"Thanks." Dean paused, looking down at the wrench. "Hey Sam."

"Wrong one?" Sam asked.

"No no no, come here for a second."

I watched with curiosity.

"Yeah?"

"This rattle could be a couple of things. I'm thinking it's an out-of-tune carb."

"…Okay." Sam said confused.

"All right, see this thing? It's a valve cover. Inside are all the parts that are on the head. Hand me that socket wrench. All right, you with me so far?"

"Yeah, uh, valve cover covers the heads."

"Very good. Now this is your intake manifold, okay, and on top of it?"

"It's, uh, uh, a carburetor."

"Very good."

"What's with the auto shop?" Dean held out the socket wrench. "What, you don't mean you want—"

"Yeah, I do. You fix it."

"Dean, you barely let me drive this thing."

"Well, it's time. You should know how to fix it. You're gonna need to know these things for the future. And besides, that's my job, right? Show my little brother the ropes?"

Sam nodded and took the wrench. I watched the emotion flash across his face but he quickly concealed it and leaned in, unscrewing something on the motor.

Dean walked over and sat next to me on the coolers.

"Put your shoulder into it." He directed. Sam chuckled.

I watched and tried to find the amusement that Dean and Sam had, but I couldn't. All I could see was Dean preparing for what might be inevitable…

Hell.


	50. Chapter 50

Author's Note: Thank you to LadySunshine6 for your wonderful idea! My heart melted when I read it. Also, I experimented with writing in third person POV for the first time, let me know what you guys think! There is going to more Judson coming up! I didn't ignore anyone's wishes to see more of him! There is definitely more to come, the next chapter will have a lot going on! So enjoy this one in the mean time! I enjoyed writing it! Love you guys! Thank you so much for your continued support! Please leave a review! I love them and they give me direction with the story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or any of its Characters, Emily is my OC.

"And you didn't see any of it?" Dean asked the grieving woman.

"No, he was… he was just gone."

"The doors were locked? There was no forced entry?" I asked.

"That's right."

"Does anybody else have a key?"

She thought for a moment before answering. "My parents."

"Where do they live?" Dean asked her.

"Florida."

Well… two suspects down. Dean and I shared a sigh as Sam walked out of the house towards us.

"Thanks for letting me have a look around, Mrs. Walsh. I think we, uh, got just about everything we need. We're all set." Sam told her.

"We'll be in touch." Dean added. The woman nodded and we all walked down the drive.

"Agents… " The woman called, stopping us. "The police said my husband might have been kidnapped."

"Could be." Dean answered honestly.

"Then why haven't the kidnappers called? O-or – or demanded a ransom? It's three days till Christmas. What am I supposed to tell our daughter?"

I looked over at the little girl on the swing set in the front yard, looking back at me like I'm just one of many unfamiliar faces that have entered her home over the last few days. Everything in me pitied her. I instinctively moved closer to my siblings.

"We're very sorry." Sam told her, she glanced at us with teary eyes before nodding in understanding and turning back towards the house.

"Find anything?" Dean asked once we were out of hearing range. Sam nodded and led us on the other side of the car before pulling something out of his pocket.

"Stocking, mistletoe… this."

"A tooth? Where was this?" I asked poking at it in Sam's hand.

"In the chimney."

"Chimney? No way a man fits up a chimney. It's too narrow." I told him.

"No way he fits up in one piece." Dean corrected. Sam agreed with a raise of his eyebrows.

"Alright, so, if dad went up the chimney—"

"We need to find out what dragged him up there."

"De. I feel like we need to go back and give her something… she should know there's no chance of her husband coming back."

"Emily if we do that then she'll go to the locals and they'll come snooping around, we can't do our job with cops in the way."

I crossed my arms… defeated.

"Sorry kiddo, c'mon. Lets get out of here." Sam said putting his arm around me. I looked back and gave the little girl one last glance… her daddy was never coming home.

Dean dropped Sammy off at the motel and he and I went on a food run. As much as it drives Dean crazy I love to listen to Christmas songs this time of year. I quietly sang along to 'Dreaming of a White Christmas' as we sat in the car and waited for our food.

"You know… we should do a real Christmas this year." Dean said out of the blue, cutting my thoughts off.

"What?"

"Christmas. The tree. The presents. The singing… the whole shabam like when you were little."

"Dean, even when I was little it was just me you and Sammy with a tree branch in a bowl full of dirt." I told him, thinking back to the fond… yet oddly sad, memory.

"So? You never complained back then."

"I don't know De… we don't really… Do. Christmas."

"Well then this year can be the first!" He said excitedly. I stared at him for a long moment. It took me a second to catch on… but I kinda see it now. One last Christmas… this year will be the last. I tore my eyes away from him and plastered on my fake smile.

"Sure. Christmas sounds good." I said. Squeezing the words around the growling lump in my throat. My heart felt like it was being crushed- like it could explode.

"Alright!" He said excited. "Now… on my Christmas list I have the original record of Metallica's Greatest Hits. The new edition of Busty Asian Beauties and a-"

"Ew! Dean… I'm not gonna buy you porn for Christmas!"

He burst into laughter as our food was delivered to us. He handed me our drinks and the bag before pulling back out onto the road, a smile still pulling at his lips. As painful as any of this is for me… for Dean. I'll do it.

"So, was I right? Is it the serial-killing chimney sweep?" Dean asked as we came in and plopped the food down in front of Sam.

"Yep. It's, uh, it's actually Dick Van Dyke." Sam said sarcastically.

"Who?"

"Mary Poppins?" I added.

"Who's that?"

"Oh come on— never mind." Sam groaned.

"Well, it turns out that Walsh is the second guy in town grabbed out of his house this month."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"The other guy get dragged up the chimney, too?"

" We don't know. Witnesses said they heard a thump on the roof." I told him sitting down at the table. "So, what the hell do you think we're dealing with?"

"Actually, I have an idea." Sam said. "Uh, it's gonna sound crazy."

"What could you possibly say that sounds crazy to me?" Dean asked.

"Um… evil Santa."

I choked on my drink. Dean rolled his eyes and patted my back while I tried to catch my breath.

"Yeah, that's crazy." Dean said.

"Yeah… I mean, I'm just saying that there's some version of the anti-Claus in every culture. You got Belsnickel, Krampus, Black Peter. Whatever you want to call it, there's all sorts of lore."

"Saying what?" I asked as I finally was able to breathe again.

"Saying ... back in the day, Santa's brother went rogue and now he shows up around Christmas time, but instead of bringing presents, he punishes the wicked."

I turned to look at Dean and smiled at him.

"If I was Santa then you'd be my evil brother."

Dean shot me a wink and Sam rolled his eyes at us.

"Seriously, can you two be serious for like 5 minutes?"

"So what? He's punishing them by hauling their ass up chimneys?

"For starters, yeah."

"So, this is your theory, huh? Santa's shady brother?" I asked, making sure I was understanding this. It seems a little out there even for us.

"Well, ah – I'm just saying, that's what the lore says."

"Santa doesn't have a brother. There is no Santa." Dean grumbled.

"Yeah, I know. You're the one who told me that in the first place, remember." Sam said, Dean looked guilty for a minute. "Yeah, you know what, I could be wrong. I ... gotta be wrong."

"Maybe, maybe not." I said. If Sam thinks this could be serious, then I'm gonna go with it.

"What?"

"I did a little digging. Turns out both victims visited the same place before they got snatched."

"Where?"

The next morning we drove out the Christmas tree farm where both vics had charges on their bank accounts from within a few days of going missing.

"This place is lame." I groaned.

"Yeah, and they charged me ten bucks a head." Dean added.

"Will you two shut up… its Christmas and this is the only place in town to get a tree. If anti-clause is real and stalking out his victims. This is where he's gonna be."

"Hey, speaking of Christmas, we should have one this year." Dean said casually. Trying to play off how bad he wanted it.

"Have one what?"

"A Christmas."

"No, thanks." Sam scoffed.

"No, we'll get a tree, a little Boston market, just like when we were little."

"Dean, those weren't exactly Hallmark memories for me, you know."

Dean's face fell slightly.

"What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases." I quickly added.

"Whose childhood are you talking about? Do you not remember the year that YOU found out Santa wasn't real? Cause that one was fun."

"Oh, come on, Sam." Dean tried.

"No! Just… no."

"All right, Grinch. I'm gonna go check in with the ticket lady, see if she's seen anything." Dean said before walking off. I turned and to Sam and crossed my arms.

"Sam."

"What?! Are you serious right now? You want to do Christmas?"

"No. I don't. But Dean does. And its his last one. I'm not gonna take that away from him."

"Emily. No. You know how you didn't wanna be pushed into singing again? Well I don't want to be pushed into Christmas. I'm not just gonna sit around and pretend like the end isn't near! I can't believe you encouraged him on this."

Sam turned and stalked off… I stood there. Thinking back to that Christmas. The one that really ended all the rest of them.

(FLASHBACK THIRD PERSON POV)

Sam sat in front of the motel window for the3rd hour in a row. Searching for any sign that his Dad might show up. Christmas was tomorrow and he's not missed one yet. Granted he's came close, crawling through the door Christmas morning, telling Emily a long story about how Santa broke down and Daddy helped fix his sleigh so he sent presents back with him, and that's why he was late.

She was only 6. Sam knew there was no Santa. Dean had ruined that for him many years ago, but both the Winchester boys were damn determined to keep the secret for their little sister.

Dean took apart and reassembled his gun over and over again… timing himself. He wasn't worried. He knew his dad would always show up at the last second, Sam just needed to relax in his mind, or Emily would start to get curious if he didn't get out of that windowsill soon.

"De!" A squirmy little voice called running towards the bed and leaping at him.

"What are you doing monkey?" Dean smiled as he lifted the little girl up over his head and brought her back down to plant a kiss on her cheek.

"I wanna play airplane!"

"But… you're… so… heavy." Dean teased as he lifted her up and down again before taking off with full speed to send her sailing up into the air on his feet. She giggled and her smile lit up the room. Whatever worries Dean had were gone when that laughter filled his ears.

"Whatcha lookin at Sammy?" Emily asked when Dean finally put her back safely on the ground.

"Um, just watching for reindeer." He smiled.

"They only come at night silly!"

"Oh! Well that explains it then."

"Sammy come play cowboys with me!" She said with big eyes, pulling him away from the window by his arm.

"Alright alright… go find your hat."

Emily ran to dig through her bag in the other room, Sam walked over to Dean at the table.

"He's not here yet."

"He'll be here… he said he would be."

"Dean. The older she gets the more she notices. He's not here."

"So go play with her and distract her, she's fine. You're the only one sweating this. Just chill out. He'll be here."

(PRESENT TIME EMILY POV)

"You'd think with the 10 bucks it costs to get into this place, Santa could scrounge up a little snow." Dean's voice called me out of my memories.

"What?"

"Nothing. What are we looking for, again?"

"Oh. I don't know… Sam's over there, just ask him."

"You okay kiddo?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Sorry… I just kinda spaced out."

"Alright, c'mon. Lets go bug sasquatch." He said throwing an arm over my as we walked towards Sam.

"Hey. What are we looking for?"

"Um… lore says that the anti-Claus will walk with a limp and smell like sweets."

"Great. So we're looking for a pimp Santa. Why the sweets?" I asked.

"Think about it. If you smell like candy, the kids will come closer, you know?"

"That's creepy." I told him. He laughed.

"How does this thing know who's been naughty and who's been nice?" Dean asked.

"I don't know."

Just then the sound of an old man saying 'ho ho ho' caught our attention. I turned and looked to see the man in a santa suit taking pictures with kids.

"So, Ronny, come sit on Santa's knee… Ah, there you go. You been a good boy this year?" Santa asked the little boy.

"Yeah."

"Good. Santa's got a special gift for you."

"Okay… did that creep out anyone else?" I said as we watched the boy walk away with his mom.

Before the boys could reply a woman in an elf costume walked up to us.

"Welcome to Santa's court. Can I escort your child to see Santa?" She asked Sam and Dean.

"Uh… " I was speechless. Seriously? Do I look six?

"No. See she uh, she gets a little skiddish around Santa."

"Oh I see." She said sympathetically.

"He's kidding." I quickly told her. "I'm a little too old to sit with santa."

"Are you sure?" She asked. "The line is short and it wouldn't bother santa a bit."

"Yeah, c'mon sweetheart, go see santa. I bet he smells like candy." Dean said sending me a wink.

"Well if you insist." I told the elf with a tight smile, she led me away from the boys, I turned back and sent them a death stare and middle finger, they both just laughed.

"Well well well, look who we have here." The Santa chimed as I was led, I carefully placed myself on the extreme edge of his knee, despite his efforts to move me closer.

"What do you want for Christmas my dear?"

"A new rifle would be nice." I said sweetly, it seemed to catch him off guard.

"Well, I'll have to see what the Winchester factory has on hand." I almost couldn't contain the urge to bust out laughing or return with a pun, but I did. I quickly made my way back to the boys.

"So? Smell like licorice?"

"More like Ripple. But yeah. He's a creep for sure." I turned just in time to see him get up and walk away… with a limp.

"Well, that's a good sign for us." Sam said.

"I feel a stake out coming on." Dean replied.

"Ughhh…. What time is it?" I groaned from the back seat. We've been on this stake out for HOURS.

"Same as the last time you asked. Here…Caffeinate."

"Ew. Sammy… you know I'm not gonna drink that."

"Just take a good wihiff. You'll be fine."

"Hey, Sam." Dean perked up.

"Yeah?"

"Why are you the boy that hates Christmas?"

"Dean ... " He sighed. I sat up. Interested in the conversation.

"I mean, I admit it. You know, we had a few bumpy holidays when we were kids."

"Bumpy?" Sam said with raised eyebrows.

"That was then. We'll do it right this year."

"Look, Dean. If you and Em want to have Christmas, knock yourself out. Just don't involve me."

"Please Sammy." I said with my best puppy dog eyes, blaring them through his chest right to his heart, he couldn't tear his gaze away. He sighed and finally looked away… he didn't say yes, but he didn't say no.

We went back to watching the house, there was a little movement, then Santa came over and closed his blinds. Lovely. We're gonna sit out here all night and he's gonna get to sleep. I'm so jealous right now.

"What's up with Saint Nicotine?"

"He's probably going to bed. Maybe we should follow."

A sharp sound of a woman's voice caught our attention.

"Oh my god!" She screamed, we all jumped out of the car and ran towards the trailer, guns blazing. We stopped at the door and Sam tried to look in through the window but couldn't see anything, then he chuckled briefly.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. It's just that, uh… well, you know, Mr. Gung Ho Christmas over here might have to blow away Santa."

"Oh shut up." Dean groaned. He flung open the door and in we all charged. I wish I could truly explain the disgusting sight in front of me. Santa was tipping back his bottle of whiskey… sitting in front of his bong… with his Christmas porno blaring on the tv.

I might puke.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He said turning, we all quickly tucked away our guns.

"Uh, well.. I uh.." Sam stuttered.

Dean began to sing- extremely off key. "S-silent night… Holy night."

I quickly joined in as did Sam.

"All is calm… all is bright"

The boys quickly fell off and allowed me to take lead, the Santa began to smile and sit back, swaying to the music as he took another big swig of whiskey.

The more distracted he became the quieter I sang until we all were able to sneak out and hall ass outta there.

"Nice save De."

"Hey, you're the one that made it convincible. Could you imagine had it just be me and tone deaf over there? Yikes!"

I laughed a little.

"You know Em, I saw a piano bar downtown that was gonna have Christmas eve Karaoke, cash prize and everything." Sam taunted, he looked back at me with an evil smirk… he knew Dean would love this, and I would hate it.

"Oh you've totally got that one in the bag! You know every Christmas song ever invented!" Dean don't even like cheered excitedly.

"Yeah, ya know… I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean you don't even like Christmas music Dean. It gets on your nerves every year when I sing it."

"Yeah but this year is different, I'm embracing it."

"Well lets embrace it together, in the car, while we drive."

"C'mon kiddo. Do it for me?"

"…Maybe." I sighed. I leaned back and discreetly pinched the shit out of the back Sam's arm from behind the seat. He flinched and shot me a bitchface, I shot him one back. He knew what he was doing. Asshole.

We got back to the motel, and I went straight to the bed, in hopes of passing out and spending the night dreamless, but we all know that's not gonna happen.

Lately my dreams have been less about hell… more about… Judson. Some nights I have these horrible nightmares, other nights the dream starts off bad but then there he comes, saving the day. Weird right? He… so. Sexy. But dammit he's so frustrating!

Thankfully another attack happened during the night and we were up early to interview the vics.

"So, that's how your son described the attack? "Santa took daddy up the chimney"?" Dean asked for the 3rd time now. The woman winced as she blinked, her new black eye was swollen and multiple colors.

"That's what he says, yes."

"And where were you?"

"I was asleep and all of a sudden… I was being dragged out of bed, screaming."

"Did you see the attacker?" I asked.

"No. It was dark, and he hit me. He knocked me out."

"I'm sorry. I know this is hard." Sam said reaching up and laying his hand on her shoulder as she began to cry. "Mrs. Caldwell, where, where did you get that wreath above the fireplace?"

Me and Dean exchanged confused glances… what the fuck?

"Excuse me?" The woman asked, looking as confused as Dean and I were.

"Just curious, you know." Sam smirked.

I quickly exited the room and waited for the boys by the car.

"What the hell Martha Stewart?" I asked when the boys approached. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Wreaths, huh? Sure you didn't want to ask her about her shoes? I saw some nice handbags in the foyer." Dean laughed.

"We've seen that wreath before, guys."

"Where?"

"The Walshes'."

"I know. I was just testing you." Dean quickly said. Sam and I scoffed as Dean pulled out onto the road.

"What did Bobby say?" I asked as Sam came back in the motel room. We decided to bunker down and do some research before making our next move.

"Uh, that we're morons. He also said that it was probably meadowsweet in those wreaths."

"Wow! Amazing. What the hell is meadowsweet?" I asked sarcastically.

"It's pretty rare and it's probably the most powerful plant in pagan lore."

"Pagan lore?"

"Yeah. See, they used meadowsweet for human sacrifice. It was kind of like a… Chum for their gods. Gods were drawn to it and they'd stop by and snack on whatever was the nearest human."

"Why would somebody be using that for Christmas wreaths?" Dean asked.

"It's not as crazy as it sounds, Dean. I mean, pretty much every Christmas tradition is pagan."

"Christmas is Jesus's birthday." I quickly corrected.

"No, Jesus's birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the winter solstice festival that was co-opted by the Church and renamed "Christmas". But I mean, the Yule log, the tree, even Santa's red suit – that's all remnants of pagan worship."

"How do you know that? What are you gonna tell me next? Easter bunny's Jewish?" Dean asked. Sam shot him bitchface. I laughed.

"So you think we're gonna dealing with a pagan God?" I asked getting us back on track.

"Yeah, probably Hold Nickar, God of the winter solstice."

"And all these Martha Stewart wannabes, buying these fancy wreaths…"

"Yeah, it's pretty much like putting a neon sign on your front door saying "Come kill us"."

"Great." I groaned.

"Huh… When you sacrifice to Hold Nickar, guess what he gives you in return."

"Lap dances, hopefully." Dean smiled.

"Ew… Dean. Real life. Not porn."

"Mild weather."

"Like no snow in the middle of December in the middle of Michigan." Dean asked looking out the window.

"For instance."

"Do we know how to kill it yet?" I asked.

"No, Bobby's working on that right now. We got to figure out where they're selling those wreaths."

"You think they're selling them on purpose? Feeding the victims to this thing?"

"Let's find out."

Sam took us to a local Christmas shop in the center of town, hopefully this place can give us some idea of who might be selling these things.

"Can I help you?" The apparently bored shop keeper asked.

"Uh, hope so. Uh, we were playing Jenga over at the Walshes' the other night, and, uh… well, he hasn't shut up since about this Christmas wreath, and I don't know, you tell him." Dean said gesturing to Sam.

"It was yummy." Sam said awkwardly. Geez… idjits.

"I sell a lot of wreaths, guys." The guy said fully annoyed. I stepped up to recover.

"Right, right, but – but you see, this one would have been really special. It had, uh, it had, uh, green leaves, um, white buds on it. It might have been made of, uh… meadowsweet?"

"Well, aren't you a fussy one?" He said to me, my face must have reflected my annoyance. Sam bumped me and I quickly recovered it to a polite fake smile.

"She is…" Dean laughed, I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Anyway, I know the one you're talking about. I'm all out."

"Huh. Seems like this meadowsweet stuff's pretty rare and expensive. Why make wreaths out of it?"

"Beats me. I didn't make them."

"Who did?"

"Madge Carrigan, a local lady. She said the wreaths were so special, she gave them to me for free."

"She didn't charge you?" Sam asked suspiciously.

"Nope."

"Did you sell them for free?" I asked.

"Hell no. It's Christmas. People pay a buttload for this crap."

"That's the spirit." I told him with a heavy curve of sarcasm. I turned and walked out the door. We got all we needed from this asshole.

"How much do you think a meadowsweet wreath would cost?" Dean asked as we walked back into the motel.

"A couple hundred dollars, at least." Sam answered.

"This lady's giving them away for free? What do you think about that?"

"Well, sounds pretty suspicious." I added as I laid across the bed, all of my limbs stretched out. "Hey how bout you two share a bed tonight."

"Yeah. Nice try kiddo. I don't think we'd even fit in one bed." Dean said laying on top of me.

"Ughh! De! Can't… breathe!" I chuckled. He pretended to make himself comfortable, using me as a mattress. "Sammy! Save me!"

Sam rolled his eyes as I continually tried to roll over and knock Dean off of me, finally he gave up and I was able to breathe again, but then he laid back down and shoved me off to the side, I landed in the floor with a thud, when I came up I grabbed the pillow and began wailing on him with it.

"Hey! Hey! Watch it!" Dean yelled between laughs. After we both stopped to catch our breath Dean moved off the bed and walked to the fridge, tossing me a water bottle before cracking open a beer.

"Remember that wreath Dad brought home that one year?" Dean asked with a smile tugging at his lips.

"You mean the one he stole from, like, a liquor store?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, it was a bunch of empty beer cans. That thing was great. I bet if I looked around hard enough, I could probably find one just like it."

"All right. Dude… What's going on with you?"

"Sam don't." I pleaded.

"What?" Dean asked, they both ignored me.

"I mean, since when are you Bing Crosby all of a sudden? Why do you want Christmas so bad?"

"Why are you so against it? I mean, were your childhood memories that traumatic?"

"No, that has nothing to do with it."

"Then what?"

"I-I mean, I-I just… I don't get it. You haven't talked about Christmas in years."

"Well, yeah. This is my last year."

My heart cringed. Hearing the words come out of his mouth never becomes easier.

"I know. That's why I can't." Sam sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't just sit around, drinking eggnog, pretending everything's okay, when I know next Christmas you'll be dead."

I instantly felt like I could puke. I swallowed down the wave of emotion and pulled my knees up to my chest, refusing to look either brother in the eye… I don't want to be part of this conversation. And I'm glad they aren't dragging me into it.

Nothing else was said for the rest of the night.

(FLASHBACK THIRD PERSON POV)

"Alright babygirl, time for bed." Dean said as he tucked the blankets in around his freshly bathed baby sister, he wiped the damp stray hairs away from her face as she struggled to keep her eyes open.

"I wanna stay awake until Daddy gets here." She whined.

"Well what if Santa comes before Dad? He won't stop if he sees your awake."

"Well maybe when Santa comes I can pretend to be asleep!" She said with a tiny burst of short lived excitement, still battling to keep her big brown eyes open.

"How about this, if Dad comes home I'll wake you up."

"Promise?" She mumbled.

"I promise." He whispered in her ear as her eyes fluttered closed. He placed a soft kiss on her temple before slowly climbing off the bed and walking over to the couch to join his little brother.

He sat down, handing Sam a coke.

"He's not gonna make it Dean." Sam stated grumpily.

"Dude. Chill out already. He'll be here. Presents in hand, just like every other year."

"And if he's not? What are we gonna tell her?"

"Just don't worry about it, I'll handle it."

Sam huffed in his seat.

"I don't understand why you're so okay with him bailing on us for Christmas. You heard him on the phone, he said it could be days before he finished."

"Sam, he'll take a break, run home, and go back and finish."

"You think Dad's gonna skip out on a hunt for Christmas?"

"No dipshit. I think Dad would take a quick break from a hunt to make sure his little girl has a Christmas. You know how he feels about her finding out about stuff. He's gonna keep this Santa thing going for as long as he can."

"Yeah well he certainly wasn't worried about us finding out."

"We're different man, she's just a little girl."

"Whatever, you always take his side."

"Sammy, shut up and watch Rudolph."

"No! I'm tired of this Dean! You always just do what Dad says, what about us?"

"Keep your voice down!" Dean whisper yelled as he turned back to see Emily stir slightly in the bed.

"Or what? Christmas will be ruined? I mean I don't know why we do this anyways! One day she's gonna find out that Santa isn't real, and when she does Dad will quit showing up! Might as well start now!" Sam yelled. He wasn't truly angry at his brother, but more hurt that his Dad was cutting it closer and closer every year. He knew once Emily found out that all this was a ruse and there won't really be Christmas' anymore. Sam wasn't prepared for that.

"…Sammy." A soft voice called from behind the couch. Sam and Dean both turned to see a teary eyed little girl in her favorite pony pajamas. Sam knew by the look in her eyes that she had heard him.

"What's wrong babygirl?" Dean said as he walked over and picked up the small girl, she immediately wrapped her arms around his neck and her small legs as far around his torso as she could, he sat back on the couch. She turned her face and laid against Dean's shoulder as she stared into Sam's eyes.

"There's no Santa Claus is there?" She asked so softly it was almost a whisper. Dean immediately pulled her down to straddle his lap.

"What?! That's silly. Of course there is!" Dean quickly said pushing her hair back again. She looked at him for a moment before turning back to look at Sam. He was heartbroken. He knew that he had ruined her Christmas. She was too smart for her own good, she knew. He did the one thing he prayed his father wouldn't do.

Now there was no need to put on the show. There was no need to tell stories before bed every night leading up to Christmas Eve, there was no need to bake cookies and leave them for Santa. There was no need for his father to make sure he was there every year.

"Tell her, Sam." Dean pushed.

Sam couldn't bear to lie to her again, not when he knew she wouldn't believe it anyways. Emily's doe eyes watered again and Sam reached up and wiped the tear as it rolled down her cheek. He held open his arms and she crawled from one set of arms to the other.

Sam stood and she wrapped herself around him the same she did Dean. He carried her back to the bed and tucked her in, he hated the way her broken heart reflected on her face.

"When you wake up, there'll be presents under the tree, and we can make pancakes, and eat the rest of those cookies."

"Will Daddy be here?"

"Yeah, of course. He wouldn't miss Christmas."

"…So if Santa isn't real where do all of the presents come from?" She asked curiously.

"Well, dad, and me and Dean."

"Can I buy you guys presents?"

"Sure sweetheart." Sam smiled. His sister's innocence and kind spirit always impressed him. She was stronger than any of the Winchester men combined; a trait he assumed came from their mother.

"Go to sleep. It'll all be better when you wake up."

"I love you Sammy." She sniffled.

"I love you too."

Sam walked back over to the couch and the brothers attempted to ignore the soft sniffling that came from the other side of the room, eventually she fell asleep. When she did, Dean stood and put on his jacket.

"Where are you going?"

"Well… her Christmas is looking kind of lame at the moment so I'm going to the store. Lock the door behind me."

(PRESENT EMILYS POV)

"This is where Mrs. Wreath lives, huh? Can't you just feel the evil pagan vibe?" Dean teased as we walked up to the large white house the rich suburb area. I stepped forward and knocked on the door.

"Yes?" A cheery plump woman answered.

"Please tell me you're the Madge Carrigan who makes the meadowsweet wreaths." Dean charmed. Her face lit up.

"Why, yes I am." She blushed.

"Ha! Bingo." Dean said patting Sam roughly on the back.

"Yeah? Uh, well, we were just admiring your wreaths in Mr. Sylar's place the other day?" Sam said.

"You were? Well, isn't that meadowsweet just the finest-smelling thing you ever smelled?"

"It is, it sure is. But the problem is, is that all you wreaths had sold out before we got the chance to buy one."

"Oh, fudge!" The woman said putting her hands on her hips. This lady was way too friendly to me… somethings off.

"You wouldn't have another one that we could buy from you, would you?"

"Oh, no, I'm afraid those were the only ones I had for this season."

Sam nodded disappointedly.

"Tell me something, why did you decide to make them out of meadowsweet?" I asked. Before she could answer, she was joined by a man with an old fashioned pipe and a cardigan… together they were so old fashioned that I had to remember what decade it was.

"Why, the smell, of course! I don't think I've ever smelled anything finer."

"What's going on, honey?" The man asked.

"Well, just some nice kids asking about my wreaths, dear. "

"Oh, the wreaths are fine. Fine wreaths. Oh, care for some peanut brittle?" He held out the tin, Dean went to reach for it but I quickly blocked him.

"No thank you, peanut allergy." I smiled politely.

"Oh what a shame, well I'm sorry we couldn't help you kids out." The man said sympathetically.

"Oh that's okay, there's always next year right!" Dean cheered, they nodded and bid us farewell.

"I don't like em. Somethings up." I said as we drove back to the motel to get weapons together.

"Yeah, something is a little too perfect." Sam agreed. "I'll dig around when we get back.

Once at the motel Dean and I began sharpening wooden stakes, Sam of course went straight to his laptop and hasn't said a word since.

"I knew it! Something was way off with those two." Sam cheered catching us off guard.

"What'd you find?" Dean asked.

"The Carrigans lived in Seattle, last year, where two abductions took place right around Christmas. They moved here in January. All that Christmas crap in their house – that wasn't boughs of holly. It was vervain and mint."

"Pagan stuff?" I guessed.

"Serious pagan stuff."

"So what, Ozzie and Harriet are keeping a pagan god hidden underneath their plastic-covered couch?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. All I know is we gotta check them out. So, what about Bobby? He's sure evergreen stakes will kill this thing, right?"

"Yeah, he's sure."

That night we prepared a plan and made sure we all armed and ready to go, guns don't really do us much good here so I swapped it out for an extra stake or two tucked away in my boot and my pants. It was almost Christmas and I couldn't stop thinking about this whole week… what Sam wanted. What Dean wanted… the last place I wanted to be was on stage right now, but for Dean. I don't know…

When we approached the house I looked around at the quiet neighborhood, every yard was filled with lights, including the one we were standing in. We'd be screwed if anyone came outside right now.

Dean picked the lock and lead us through the door into the living room… where the couches were covered in plastic. I stopped and looked at Dean. He just couldn't resist.

"See? Plastic." He smiled.

Dean cleared the room and spent a minute or two staring at the decorations while Sam and I explored. I entered the kitchen and found several plates stacked with cookies and small cakes, then next to the counter was a door with a large padlock on it. BINGO.

"Hey. Sam, Dean." I whispered, they both quickly entered and I nodded towards the door.

Dean picked the lock and we descended the stairway one after another, the boys of course shoved me into the middle, like always. Once at the bottom we find a large bowl, next to it are bones, and I can smell the blood from across the room. The further the light travels across the room the more I realize it looks like a human butcher shop.

Uncomfortably I stepped back and grabbed onto the bottom of Dean's jacket.

"Stay close." He whispered to me.

Sam approached a large bag hanging form the wall, I was terrified for him to open it. Just as he reaches for the zipper the bag moves and muffled screams filled the room, I gasped and clutched to Dean's side. Before Sam got the chance to open the bag Madge appeared out of nowhere and picked him up by the neck like a kitten.

"Sam!" I yelled as Dean and I went to charge her, but I heard Dean groan from behind me and spotted Mr. Carrigan with a large chunk of wood, Dean layed unconscious on the floor. I backed myself against the wall, stake held out in front of me. Ready for a fight.

Sam was struggling to breathe and was on the verge of passing out.

"Gosh, I wish you boys hadn't come down here." Madge scowled as Sam finally passed out.

"Drop him!" I said advancing her, but before I knew what happened she dropped Sam to the ground and threw me back against the brick wall, my head hit hard and I slumped to the ground.

"Sssmmm." I groaned as my vision blurred into blackness.

"Dean… Dean wake up." Sam's voice faded in and out of my mind. Everything was still black. Sam sounded far away.

"Dean? You okay?" Sam's voice rang.

"Yeah, I think so." Dean groaned. "Where's Em."

I tried to speak but couldn't form the words, it just came out groans and mumbles.

"Em, wake up."

I forced my eyes to open, they were so heavy, and the back of my head pounded. I quickly realized I was laying on the floor, hands and feet bound. I looked up and found my brothers each tied to a chair, back to back.

"So, I guess we're dealing with Mr. and Mrs. God. Nice to know." Sam said.

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "Kiddo you doing okay down there?"

"Mmmm… I'm alive." I groaned.

"Good." Dean said pulling against his ropes. Just then the Mr. and Mrs. Entered the room.

"Ooh, and here we thought you lazybones were gonna sleep straight through all the fun stuff." Madge giggled.

"Miss all this? Nah, we're partiers." I said from the ground.

"Isn't she a kick in the pants, honey? You're hunters, is what you are." Mr. Carrigan announced.

"And you're pagan gods. So, why don't we just call it even, and go our separate ways?" Dean said.

"What, so you can bring more hunters and kill us? I don't think so."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before you went snacking on humans, now, huh?" Sam said bitterly.

"Oh now, don't get all wet. Why, we used to take over a hundred tributes a year and that's a fact." She placed a napkin in Sam and Dean's laps. "Now what do we take? What, two? Three?"

"Hardy Boys here make five. And the girl will be 6 if we have enough room."

"Oh I don't know, we're a pretty big meal. Might as well let her off the hook. Literally." Dean smiled.

"And miss out on the chance to snack on someone so delectable? Have you seen that sweet girl? I can taste her from across the room. She's a special one!"

"Fuck you lady." I said coming out of my haze and becoming annoyed.

"Language!" Madge scolded me. "You, young lady, better show us a little respect."

"Or what? You'll eat us?" Sam mocked. I was impressed with his sass level tonight.

"Not so fast. There's rituals to be followed first." Mr. Carrigan added.

"Oh, we're just sticklers for ritual." Madge smiled. "And you know what kicks off the whole shebang?"

"Let me guess… meadowsweet." Dean said.

"Oh shucks, you're all out of wreaths. I guess we'll just have to cancel the sacrifice, huh?" I added.

"Oh, don't be such a gloomy Gus." She lifted two small wreaths and laid them on Sam and Dean's necks. "There. Ohh… Don't they just look darling?"

"A little gay if you ask me." I teased, Sam and Dean both shot me bitchface.

"Good enough to eat." Mr. Carrigan said as he lifted a knife. "Step number two."

He proceeded to walk over to Sam and cut his arm, draining some of the blood into a bowl. I reached up with my foot and kicked the back of his knee, he faltered and dropped the knife and bowl.

"Why… you little-"

"Now now now dear! I just told the youngens here to watch their language, we don't want to set a bad example do we?"

"Of course not dear." Mr. Carrigan smiled as he stood, sending me a death glare. He stands again and slices Sam's arm, Sam cries out in pain.

"Sammy?! Sammy?" Dean yelled unable to see what was happening.

"He's okay! He's okay Dean." I said quickly. They move over to Dean and do the same.

"Leave them alone! You bastards!"

"Hear how they talk to us? Heh heh. To Gods? Back in the day, we were worshiped by millions."

"Time have changed!" Dean yelled.

"Tell me about it. All of a sudden, this Jesus character is the hot new thing in town. All of a sudden, our – our altars are being burned down, and we're being hunted down like common monsters."

"But did we say a peep? Oh ho ho, no, no, no, we did not. Two millennium. We kept a low profile; we got jobs, a mortgage. Wh-What was that word, dear?"

"We assimilated."

"Yeah, we assimilated. Why, we play bridge on Tuesday and Fridays. (Holding a large knife) We're just like everybody else."

They continued their chatter as they added things into the bowls, picking up different tools for torture.

"You're not blending in as smooth as you think, lady."

"Well we've done pretty well for ourselves so far. You three are the only hunters we've seen in decades!" Madge cheered as she walked over to Sam with pliers. "You kids have no idea how lucky you are. There was a time when kids came from miles around, just to be sitting where you are."

"What do you think you're doing with those?" Sam asked panicky. Hearing his fear intensified mine, I looked at Dean whose eyes widened and I began to feel it build… It pushed against my chest walls.

"Stop! Stop it! I'm warning you! Leave him alone!" I screamed frantically, not sure if I was more afraid of what I was gonna do or what they were going to do to my brothers.

"No. No. Don't!" Sam begged as they ripped off his fingernail with the pliers.

"STOP!" I screamed, the glass dishes in the room burst and shattered. The Carrigan's stopped in their tracks, looking around the freshly destroyed kitchen that was spotless only a second ago. Dean and Sam looked around and then both looked back at me, I looked between them frantically, but then it felt like fire working its way down my hands and feet, the ropes that bound me burned in seconds, freeing me. I took advantage of the distracted Carrigans and stood, coming up behind Madge with the small stake I had hidden.

She turned just as I went to plunge it through her back and shoved me backwards against the counter, my head smacking against it corner. I reached back and felt the hot sticky red mess flowing through my hair.

"Dean…" I whispered, trying to focus on him but seeing 3 instead of 1.

"Emily! Emily get up babygirl! Get up!" He yelled. His voice, the fear, it pushed me to try and focus I vaguely saw Mr. Carrigan coming at me, I reached my hand forwards, and he was immediately out of my line of sight. Everything was fuzzy, yet something was controlling my body. Pulling me up off the ground and lifting the stake without actually touching it.

My vision blurred in and out as I watched the stake fly through the air and nail Mr. Carrigan straight in the chest. Madge's screams felt like they were far away, but they were getting louder. Everything was getting louder. Too loud.

"Ahh!" I cried covering my ears. Falling to the ground.

"Emily!" Sam and Dean's calls made me feel like I was in a tunnel, suddenly I was awake, fully aware and able to focus. Madge's eyes were red, she stared at me, moving quicker than I thought she could really, she charged me and I took three steps back.

Three steps. That's all it took for her to advance me and the stake in my hand to pierce her. As she collapsed to the floor I turned and began to untie my brothers.

"Emily look at me, are you hurt?" Dean said grabbing me and pushing my hair back as held a rag to my bleeding nose. I looked up at him but I don't remember giving him an answer.

Sam pulled me against him as he looked between the two bodies.

"We're good Em, we're okay." He whispered out of breath.

"Dean… It. It wasn't me… I don't know what happened."

"You saved our asses kiddo, I don't know what it was but I'm gonna just be thankful for it tonight." I leaned heavily against Dean as he walked us out the back door and to the impala.

"Hows the head?" Sam asked when we began to drive back to the motel.

"Throbbing." I groaned. "Hows the hand?"

"I think I'll survive. Nails grow back right?"

"Yeah, right."

When we got back Dean went to shower and Sam cleaned up the back of my head.

"Hey." He said as he washed the blood out of my hair.

"What? Is it bad?"

"No, no its fine. Just a cut, you know how head wounds bleed, I'll stitch it up and you'll be good to go. But uh, listen. I know its been a long night, but. If you could get Dean out of the room for a couple hours. I've got some decorating to do."

Surprised I turned to look at him.

"Really?" I asked teary eyed.

"Yeah. One more Christmas? For Dean?"

I nodded my head unable to speak the words. I am amazed daily at the great people my brothers are.

(FLASHBACK THIRD PERSON POV)

"Sammy! Sammy! Its Christmas!" The hyper voice called in his ear as the bed bounced up and down over and over again.

"Okay, I'm up…" Sam groaned as the little girl jumped off the bed.

"Look Sammy! Look at all these toys!"

Sam was unsure of what she meant? He knew they only had a few presents set aside for each other when he went to bed last night, Dean had left to go to the store, but he didn't have a lot of money. He pushed himself out of the bed and walked over to where the branch in the pot was set on the table. All around it were bright colors and shiny objects. Then entire table was filled with toy after toy, mostly for his sister, which was perfectly fine with him. Sam smiled.

He looked over and found Dean slumped on the couch asleep, no doubt he tried to stay up and wait for their father, who was very obviously absent on this cheery morning.

"Dean. Dean." Sam repeated as he shook his brother awake. "How much of this stuff was on a five finger discount?"

"Shut up." Dean laughed as he sat up.

"He never showed up did he?" Sam whispered as Dean's eyes open and fell on Emily going through her presents. He smiled.

"No. He didn't. But it doesn't matter… look at her."

"Yeah. You did good… here." Sam held out a small newspaper wrapped package. "Its from me and Emily. It was gonna be for Dad, but. I think you should have it."

"You sure man?"

"DE! De! Look! I got a pony!" Emily squealed as she ran at him and jumped in his lap. He caught her with a huff.

"You sure did!"

"Thank you De." She said with a smile before kissing his cheek.

"Hey Em, tell Dean to open his present." Sam said, pointing to the package in Dean's hand.

"Open it De! Open it!" She cheered.

Dean slowly pulled the paper off and opened a small dark box. Inside of it was an amulet on a leather string. Dean held it up and smiled.

"I love it. Thanks guys." Dean smiled as he placed the amulet over his head and let it drape down his neck. Emily wasted no time fiddling with it while she sat in his lap. Dean knew this was quickly going to become her new habit.

"Merry Christmas." Sam smiled sitting next to his siblings on the couch.

(PRESENT EMILYS POV)

Dean and I pulled into the semi-full parking lot of the local piano bar. It was busier than I thought it would be on Christmas Eve. But I wasn't going to let any size crowd make me second guess my decision tonight.

"What about Sam?" Dean asked as I forced him to pull in and park.

"He'll meet us here, c'mon."

"Em, what are we doing here?"

"Ugh. Quit asking so many questions! Just come in here with me."

I dragged Dean in through the doorway and sat him at a table.

"Wait here, Sam will be here soon, I'll order you a beer." I kissed him on the cheek and skipped over to the bar. I haven't been this excited to sing in months.

"Hey! Can you get the guy at the table in the corner a tall glass of whatever's on tap, please?"

"Sure thing kid." He smiled taking my money.

I made my way down to the edge of the stage and signed up on the list. The cash prize wasn't much, bout 200 bucks. But at least its something.

(SAMS POV)

I caught a ride down to the bar and spotted Dean at a table in the corner. I was really against this whole night, but… all he wants is one more Christmas, who am I to deny him?

"Hey man, where's Em?"

"Hell if I know, she sat me at the table and ordered me a drink. Demanded I not move until you get here. What's going on?"

"I think maybe she's feeling the Christmas spirit." I chuckled. He shook his head while downing the rest of his drink.

A woman on stage caught our attention, talking about how the open mic night was fixing to start. Dean stopped listening and rolled his eyes over to me suspiciously.

"Seriously? How did you talk her into this?"

"I didn't. She did. She wants you to have a good Christmas."

"Well I'll be damned." Dean smiled as the first girl came out on stage.

I went to refill our beers while their first couple acts played. They were decent, all singing popular Christmas songs. I knew Em would wind up doing the same since it seemed to be the trend for the evening.

"Next up, Emily Wilson." The host called as I sat down and slid Dean over his 3rd beer for the night.

"Here we go." Dean smiled excitedly. I lingered watching him a minute longer than I usually would. He was so… happy. Knowing his days were numbered didn't stop him, didn't slow him down. He truly lived for every minute he had left.

The crowd applauded as Emily walked out on stage and sat down on the stool in the center, the spotlight falling on her as she adjusted the mic.

"Hey everyone, Merry Christmas and all that junk… Um. This, uh. This is for my Brother. Love you De."

I looked over at a smiling Dean. Nothing in the world existed to him other than Em right now. Something about watching her perform just made him happy, I guess it was seeing her happy.

" _I'll be home for Christmas… You can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe… And presents under the tree."_

" _Christmas Eve will find me, where the love light gleams… I'll be home for Christmas. If only in my dreams."_

I bounced between watching her and watching Dean watch her. I was fixing to fix my gaze back on the stage when something glistened on the side of his face. He quickly reached up and wiped it away, before anyone else could notice.

I coughed, "you good man?"

"Yeah… Yeah. I'm good." He said softly. "I just uh. I'm gonna miss hearing her voice."

For the first time since this whole thing started I truly saw how sad he was… he finally dropped the charade. I didn't know what else to say, so I just went back to watching Em.

" _Christmas Eve'll find me… Where the love light gleams. I'll be home for Christmas…If only in my dreams."_

The music started to fade.

" _Ohhh, If only… In."_

" _My Dreeeams."_

The room cheered, Dean stood and clapped loudly, cheering for Em as she took a small bow before exiting the stage. His eyes fell on mine for a moment, flashing between pride and heartbreak.

Dammit… how could he have made this deal.

(EMILYS POV)

I left the stage and wound my way through the crowd back to the table where I first left Dean. Once I got past the floor, it was easy to spot the two huge guys in the corner, they stuck out like a sore thumb. I smiled and jogged up to the table.

"Hey!" I said cheerily, reaching out to take a sip of the drink they'd ordered for me.

"You killed it kiddo! Nice job." Dean said wrapping an arm around me and kissing me on the cheek.

"Yeah well let's hope so, the money would be nice." I said taking another drink. I looked over to Sam and winked, he nodded. Signaling that the room is all set up and ready.

We only had to wait for 2 more acts to go before the winner was announced.

"Alright ladies and gentlemen!" The host called from the stage. "Our lucky winner tonight its… Mary Giffin!"

I clapped and smiled as I watched the cute blonde pop up on stage and accept her money.

"Man, what a rip off… no one likes jingle bells that much anyways." Dean whined.

"Eh, who cares. Lets get outta here!" I said excitedly. Dean shot me an odd glance but I ignored and pulled him back outside by his arm, much like the way I dragged him in.

"Hurry up slow pokes." I whined as I skipped to the car.

"Geez, you sure are cheery for someone who lost." Dean noted.

"Yeah well, win some lose some, I get to go home with the two best brothers in the world." I said with a wink. Both brothers laughed at me before getting in and driving us back to the motel. Once we got back, Sam rushed to the front door to make sure everything was plugged in and ready to go.

I let Dean walk through first.

"What's all this?" Dean asked in amazement as he took in the room. Complete with a Christmas tree, lights, and music.

"What do you think it is? It's – it's Christmas." Sam said.

"What made you change your mind?" Dean asked looking between Sam and I.

"Here, uh ... try the eggnog. Let me know if it needs some more kick." Sam said handing him a cup. Dean sipped it and coughed, obviously its not lacking in whiskey.

"No, we're good."

"Yeah?" Sam laughed pouring another glass and offering it to me.

"Oh, no. I'm good… I don't drink rotten eggs. I'll just take some whiskey."

Sam rolled his eyes at me but poured me a little whiskey in the cup and handed it over.

"Alright. Well, uh, have a seat. Let's do… Christmas stuff, or whatever."

"All right, first things first." Dean said excited. He reaches under the couch and pulls out two small gifts wrapped up in newspaper. He hands one to me, one to Sam. "Merry Christmas." Dean smiled

"Where'd you get these?" Sam asked with an equally large smile.

"Someplace special… The gas mart down the street."

We all laughed.

"Well, great minds think alike, Dean." I said pulling presents out form behind the cushion I had stashed.

"Yeah, same here." Sam chuckled.

"Really?!" Dean asked surprised. We all exchanged gifts.

"Okay Sammy, you first." I demanded. He began to open up his presents. The one from me being a new book on ancient languages I bought from a library a few towns back, and from Dean some porn mags. Nice De…

"Wow! Thanks guys…" Sam laughed. "I definitely won't run out of reading material. You next Dean."

Dean started pulling off the cheap paper that wrapped around the gifts, he opened Sam's first. Which was oil for Baby. Then mine, which consisted of a stack of those little apple pies Dean loves so much."

"Look at this. Fuel for me and fuel for my baby! These are awesome. Thanks." Dean wasted no time opening up one of the pies and tearing into it. "You're up kiddo." He said through a mouthful of pie. I chuckled as I reached down and opened the gifts.

The first was from Sam, it was an itunes card, he knows I like to download new music all the time but hadn't been able to lately. From Dean, I got a small silver ring. On the inside was an engraving, 'always my little girl'. I sniffled for a second before sliding the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly. I loved it.

"Thanks guys, you're the best." I said leaning forward and wrapping my arms around Sam, kissing him on the cheek before going over to Dean.

"I love you." I whispered in his ear, feeling the stinging of tears. I clung to him a little longer and harder than really necessary, but I just couldn't stand to let go yet. Not yet.

When I was finally able to rip myself off of him, we all kinda sat and looked at each other. Savoring the moment. The last Christmas…

"Hey uh, you guys wanna watch the game?"

"Absolutely!" Dean said sitting back and getting comfortable on the couch. I leaned against him and waited for Sam to sit back down before digging my feet under his leg for warmth, his arm resting on my knees.

For one night I was determined not to be sad. Not to feel the dread. Not to acknowledge the fact that this was the LAST Christmas, but to instead enjoy the evening for what it was.

Family time.


	51. Chapter 51

Author's Note: Okay guys! Sorry it took so long to update this time! I have picked up extra work days and went to Oklahoma to visit my best friends all weekend! Lots going on in this chapter and I promise you the next chapter will be an original with some crazy stuff going on! I can't wait to write it, I've been waiting to do so for a while now so I hope you guys enjoy this one and are excited about what's to come. Love you! Thank you for your support and please leave a review! I am always so touched to hear what you have to say! I am always open to requests!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or its characters.

My once still and soft bed, was suddenly under attack. Like an earthquake two giant brothers were jumping up and down on top of it to stir me awake as hastily and annoying as possible.

"Wake up birthday girl!" Dean said overwhelmingly loud in my ear as I attempted to understand what was happening. I groaned and threw the pillow over my head, but Sam quickly ripped it away.

"No way kiddo, get up!" Sam laughed. They then proceeded to rip the covers off and toss them to the ground, leaving me freezing in my shorts and tank.

"Guyyyys!" I groaned, huffing and sitting up. They stepped off the bed and yanked me up by my wrists, shoving me towards the table.

"Can I at least pee first?!" I whined.

"Nope. Foods getting cold." Dean mumbled as he plopped me down in the chair, I have to say, I was quite surprised, and extremely excited to see a large stack of pancakes on the plate in front of me with exactly 17 lit candles in them.

"You guys are morons… amazing, sweet morons." I half smiled.

"Shut up and blow these out before you have wax syrup." Sam said sitting down next to Dean and I.

I leaned forward and blew out the 17 candles, the boys smiled and helped me pull out the melting candles before they contaminated my delicious wealthy stack of pancakes. I lifted the syrup bottle and smothered them, taking the first savory sweet bite.

"Mmm…. Oh my god you guys are amazing." I said shoving more in my mouth.

"Yeah we know." Dean winked. Sam shook his head and pulled out a box the size of a shoe box.

"Sammy, we just had Christmas a few weeks ago… you didn't have to get me anything."

"I didn't. WE did… Dad uh, dad picked this out for you a long time ago, wanted to give it to you when you turned 18, but uh, we kinda felt like it was the right time."

All of a sudden I felt a little nervous to open the present. I knew why they wanted to do it now… Dean. But instead of showing my nerves I plastered on the all too familiar fake smile I've developed over the last several weeks, taking the box from Sam and shaking it slightly; they both grinned at me.

I pulled away the paper slowly, and when I opened the box it took my breath away.

Inside was a BEAUTIFUL steel and ivory 1911, a Kimber! The barrel of the gun has beautiful engravings, its weight balanced perfectly in my hands as I pulled it out and held it. It was… perfect. Everything about this gun in my hands felt natural. I love the gun I have now… its tried and true and Dean bought it for me when I turned 13. But it was small for my now growing hands and even though it always got the job done I was excited to get a little more fire power under my belt. I had asked the boys for a new gun in the past, and they always said to wait a little longer… now I know what they were waiting for. They already had the perfect gun stashed away.

Under the box of ammo that was also in the box was a note. I carefully pulled it out.

"Happy birthday babygirl, Love Dad." I read aloud.

"Happy birthday Em." Sam smiled, Dean leaned over and kissed the top of my head.

"Alright… target practice?" He said with bright excited eyes.

"YES!" I cheered. "… After I finish these pancakes. They're too good to leave."

"Fair enough. I'd hate for my excellent breakfast skills to go to waste."

"Shut up." I laughed, setting the gun beside me as I scarfed down the much too big stack of pancakes. When I finished I felt like I could explode. I hobbled to the bathroom like a pregnant lady to shower and get dressed. Once I was ready I went straight for my gun on the table and noticed it wasn't there, I scanned the room and found it in Dean's hands, he loaded the mag and chambered a round.

"Hey! Back off… that's mine." I said with an evil grin walking over and taking it away from him. I cleared the chamber and tossed the bullet at him, he caught it deftly and winked at me.

About a mile down from the motel was a large patch of woods, about a half a mile back in the woods was a clearing. It was flat ground with a solid tree line that stretched for miles on back, it was chilly outside and not deer season so there shouldn't be anyone in the path of stray bullets.

"Alright, do we want zombies or giant bugs?" Sam said going through the paper targets we had stashed somewhere in the trunk.

"Look behind them, I should have some neon splatter targets." I told him. He dug for a while before finally pulling them out.

"No way. Gimme the zombies. I'm not shooting at anything that turns hot pink." Dean whined, getting his own set. Sam rolled his eyes and handed me a stack of targets to pin to the planks we set up on the other end of the field.

"Okay miss 17 years old… lets see what you got." Dean nodded, giving me the first go.

I loaded the mag and chambered a round, picking up the gun and letting it settle just right in my hands. Deep breath in, and… release as you pull the trigger.

First shot NAILED dead center of the target. I grinned ear to ear, I looked back to my brothers and shot them a wink before emptying the mag in the remaining targets.

"This gun is fucking amazing!" I shouted as I cleared the chamber and bounced back to the boys.

"Yeah yeah yeah, you did okay… lets see who does better." A cocky Dean teased as he went and lined up his own targets along side mine. I sat back, not worried in the least, as he fired one after another.

"Alright Sammy… go be the judge."

"Wait? Don't I get to be in this?"

"No." Dean and I said simultaneously.

"…Why not?" Sam said a little taken back.

"Because we all know you may be able to beat Dean, but you can't beat me." I said casually. He scoffed at me and grabbed a stack of targets.

"Stand back, I'd hate for you to break a nail." He said with a smirk. I raised my eyebrows and Dean chuckled. We waited patiently as Sam took almost double the time Dean and I did to clear the line of targets, but I gotta admit…. He was dead on, hitting each one near the center.

"Okay boys, lets see who's taking home the trophy." I said leading us to the targets on the other side of the field.

"What trophy?" Dean asked.

"The right to sleep in their own bed tonight… which by the way, if I win. Someone's bunking on the couch."

"Fine. But if either of us win… you're bunking on the couch." Sam countered.

"Deal."

When we got to the first target I was the obvious winner… as was I with the second and third. But once we got to the fourth target and on down the line Dean and Sam both started to beat me out. I was getting a little ancy. By the last target Dean was behind by 1 and Sam and I were tied… this was gonna go one of three ways. We tie. I win, or Sam wins.

"Alright… line em up."

We held the targets together in a stack and up to the sun to see who hit closest… it was super close. So close I wasn't sure I wanted to be the first to speak incase I was wrong.

"Well… Dean." Sam sighed. "I'll flip you for the couch."

"HA!" I squealed

"Oh c'mon! You took three times longer than I did! And I was only off by 1, I should get the bed." Dean whined.

"De! Shut up." I laughed. Sam shot him bitchface before walking back towards our stuff.

"So how's it feel kiddo?" Dean asked as we lagged behind Sam.

"What?"

"To be 17… a whole year older."

"No different than 16 really. Its just another year down."

"Well you're a buzzkill." He mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I'm just… I'm excited about my gift. Just not… excited about this year."

"I know, I'm sorry kiddo. I wish life was easier on you, but you're a Winchester. And life hates the Winchesters."

"Ha, so I've noticed."

My phone buzzed in my back pocket and interrupted the conversation. I stopped and pulled it out.

Judson: Cashing in on that favor. Jordan Valley, Oregon. See you soon ;)

"Hey De… its Judson. Says he's cashing in on the favor."

"Did he say what it was?"

"What what was?" Sam asked as we walked up.

"Judson's calling in his favor… no details. Just a city."

"Well I guess it doesn't really matter what it is. We owe him the favor regardless." Sam admitted.

"Yeah, guess no one's bunking on the couch tonight, we can be there in about 9 hours if we haul ass now." Dean said.

"Fine, but I call shotgun!" I said jogging back to Baby. Even if I hadn't won, Sam would've willing given it up for my birthday. He's the sweet brother after all.

9 hours. 9 hours of being confined to a car with my brothers… leaves a lot of thinking time. A lot of talking time… a lot of sleeping time too, but I just wasn't tired enough to sleep. I had a lot on my mind since Christmas. I was still trying to figure out what the hell happened to me at the Carrigan's. How I killed them when I didn't even have control over my own body… the boys hadn't brought it up and neither had I. Until now…

"Hey." I said getting their attention, Dean reached forward and turned down the music, Sam who was slouching in the back leaned forward resting his arms on the back of the front seat. "So we never really discussed what happened Christmas eve… with my abilities and stuff. How I… how I killed them."

"Well Em, there wasn't much to talk about… you saved us."

"Yeah I know, but. Sam I wasn't in control of my own body… its like something else took it over. Doesn't that worry you just a little."

"No." Dean quickly answered… too quickly. Obviously lying a little. "Your life and our lives were in danger. You were minutes from probably being killed. Your abilities probably kicked in as a survival tactic. You may have felt like you had no control, but your subconscious knew what it was doing. It was fighting to live."

"…Did I. Did I look scary?"

"Your eyes were red again… and its kinda like you were spaced out, but. Not scary." Sam admitted. I nodded my head. Taking in his words.

"I heard you and Gordon talk about me… right before he died." I gulped. "He said I had shed blood. That I was a killer like he was. I think Judson heard it."

"Well, he didn't say anything about it." Dean said.

"I know, but… I don't know. I just don't really think we should totally trust the guy. I mean, he helped us out of a tight spot, and I appreciate that." I also appreciate the way his eyes calmed my nerves when I was stuck alone with him, and the way his strong arms caught me as I jumped, the way he led me without being pushy, the way he promise to protect me… the way his ass looked in those jeans.

DAMMIT EMILY STOP!

No… Judson = bad! Judson is an asshole! A cocky arrogant asshole. Get back to your point!

"I just... What if he's watching. Waiting for us to slip up so he has a reason to hunt us down too."

"Nah, I don't really see that happening. He's too level headed for that." Dean quickly defended.

"Since when are you and him besties?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Why? You jealous?" He challenged with a cocky grin.

"No! No… I'm not jealous! I can't stand him." I defended a little too fast for my own good.

"Uh huh." Dean said unconvincingly.

"I'm serious Dean! I don't like him!"

"Whatever you say kiddo."

"Wipe that smartass grin off your face before I do it for you." I growled.

"Em, chill out. He's just trying to get a rise outta you." Sam said putting a hand on my shoulder. "Look, I don't know the guy very well, but he's helped us out a few times now. He seems to have good intentions, and until he gives us reasonable doubt then I think we should take the help where we can get it. Especially with everything that's going on.

"Yeah… I guess." I sighed.

"What's really bothering you?" Sam asked softly, leaning in closer to me while Dean went back to his music. I stared at him for a second, debating on answering.

"…I don't want him to think I'm a freak. I don't want him to see it."

"He won't Em, you did great at the warehouse keeping it together. You're getting better. I doubt he really knows anything. The only thing he heard was the crap Gordon spewed and he didn't really seem to buy into anyways."

"Yeah."

"Get some rest kiddo, we're gonna be there in about 4 hours. I have a feeling we're gonna be busy when we hit town."

"Okay. Thanks Sammy."

"Anything for the birthday girl." He smiled as he sat back. I leaned over towards Dean, who raised his arm and welcomed me to snuggle against him, slowly drifting to sleep listening to Bob Seger.

"Em… Emily." Whispers in my ear caught my attention as I stretched. Realizing I was no longer leaning against Dean, but curled up in a ball on the front seat, his jacket as my pillow.

"Wake up Em, we're here." Dean called softly. I sat up and sighed as I took in the sight of yet another crappy motel with the sun setting behind it.

"Should I text Judson?"

"No, he called. He's got a room here, said he'd meet us in about 10 minutes. Let us get our stuff inside."

"Ugh… great." I groaned. Part of me was always a little nervous about seeing him, the other part however was annoyed. And somewhere… odd. I almost felt like part of me was excited to see him?

Yeah. I'm a fucking lunatic. I know…

I followed Dean in to the room with blue walls and white trim. It was plain. It was simple… and it was kinda not as ugly as a lot of the other rooms we've stayed in. The blankets on the bed were solid white.

At least I know they're heavily bleached, killing most living organisms that may pass from person to person. I mean, really its honestly amazing we haven't wound up with multiple diseases. There's no telling what kind of people stay in these places besides us.

I carried in our bags and went to the bathroom to freshen up. If he was going to be here I was at least not going to look like a hobo. Not that he hasn't already seen my bed head, but still. No reason to give him something to pick on me for.

I brushed out my curls and they fell into soft waves as I flipped my head and shook it slightly. I washed my face with cool water and dabbed on a little mascara and blush, giving my face a little color against its pale contrast. Being exhausted for these last few months or so took its toll on my body. I could tell that I was pale all the time. I looked fragile. Crows feet began to show in the corners of my eyes much like Dean's did. I sighed and gave up… there's only so much I can fix for now.

When I walked out the room was empty, but I heard muffled voices outside. When I opened the door three sets of eyes fell on me, but I only met one.

"Birthday girl. Long time no see." Judson smiled.

"Not long enough." I smiled back. I stepped outside and stood between my brothers.

"Absence does make the heart grow fonder." He swooned.

I pretended to gag, soliciting an eye roll from both my brothers.

"Alright man… whats the story." Dean said getting us back on track, something that was usually Sam's job. But hey, I'll take whatever will put an end to his crappy flirting that is just secretly him teasing me and being an ass.

Yeah. I'm on to you pal. I see your game.

…Stop talking to yourself Emily. Listen to the man.

"… caught wind of some strange deaths, and some strange series of good fortune. All seem to be centered around a few women in a local suburb. I think they're witches."

…Witches.

The word echoed in my ears. Drowning out whatever may have followed it. I suddenly felt hot, and dizzy, and like I might gag for real. I haven't seen a witch since…. Well… her.

Even though we were standing outside I felt suffocated, like I was locked in a box. Just the thought of coming face to face with another witch shook me to my core. I.. I can't. I don't know if I can do this.

"Emily." Dean whispered… Once I was pulled from my thoughts I heard Judson's voice continuing on with information on the case, but Dean was solely focused on me. Sam kept flashing his eyes between Judson and me. I didn't know what to say… I didn't know what to do.

I was freaking the fuck out.

"You know, uh… we'll be. Right back… Sam. Get the rest of the information." Dean said pulling me back inside, but I couldn't get my feet to move.

I vaguely heard Judson's voice again as Dean pulled me against him and led me back inside. My chest heaving for air.

"She alright?" The muffled voice asked as it got farther and farther away.

No. NO I'm not alright! I can't do this… why did it have to be WITCHES?!

"Em sweetheart, take a breath… calm down. Slow." Dean said sitting us on the edge of the bed. I heard the small trinkets in the room shuffle back and forth, the ground rumbling just enough for my feet to notice… I had to calm down. I had to… or he would see it.

He would know I was a freak.

"C'mon babygirl… slow… in and out."

I pushed and pushed and finally took in a deep breath, holding it for a second before releasing.

"Emily, we don't have to do this. We can leave."

I shook my head rapidly.

"N-no… we can't. He. He asked us. We can't bail."

"Yes. We can… I don't give a rats ass what he asked or what we owe him. I'm not gonna make you do this if you're not ready."

"No.. I. I.. I can." I said between breaths.

"Kiddo we've been here for less than an hour… I don't know if this is such a good idea for you, not with everything else."

"De.. I. I have to." I told him honestly. "I need you to be here… I have to do it."

"No, you don't."

I nodded my head. I knew I HAD to do this… If I was going to face a witch again I needed Dean to do it. And Dean had a limited number of days left. This might be my only chance… and even though I was scared shitless I knew I had to do it now… I just wish Judson wasn't here.

Trying not to freak out just makes me want to freak out even more. I was finally catching my breath when I heard the door start to open, I quickly stood. Wrapping my arms around myself. Carefully eyeing Sam as he walked in, Judson behind him. I forced myself not to look at him, but I knew he was looking at me.

"Look man." Dean started. "I don't know if we c-

"Can go one more minute without some food." I quickly cut in. Sending him a look. "We're starving." I said a little awkwardly, but it got the point across. Dean's shoulders drooped a little as he stared at me, knowing that I wasn't fixing to walk away from this… even if it did terrify me.

"Yeah. Lets uh, grab some grub." Dean nodded. Judson held out his arm for us all to walk out, I stared down at my feet as I did, still not ready to meet his eyes until I had fully calmed myself down. Once out the door I walked as close as possible to Sam without tripping either of us. He didn't ask. He didn't pull away. He just pulled me closer and understood… that's what I love about Sam. I never have to explain, he already knows.

"Wanna ride with us man?" Dean called over.

"Sure, the beast here is a killer on mileage." He said as he shut the door to his large truck and locked it, walking towards us.

"You can have shotgun." Sam offered.

"No, its cool man, your legs need the room." Judson insisted as he stepped back, allowing Sam to sit up front. This left me with 2 choices. Sit between them in the front, or sit by him in the back. I sucked it up and sat behind Sam, Dean looked back at me carefully and started the car, pulling out towards the town.

"So what'd the vic's husband say when you talked to him?" Sam asked.

"That they came home from a night out, was getting ready for a good roll in the sheets when he heard her call out, the door slammed itself shut and she choked to death on her teeth as they fell out one at a time. When she died the door magically unlocked."

A shiver ran through my body. Memories flashed through my head of the blood pouring down the walls. I fiddled with my hands relentlessly. Wishing all of a sudden I'd sat between the boys. At least one of them would have snatched my hands by now.

"What made you think witches?"

"The hex bag I pulled from under the sink."

"Well. That'll do pig." Dean sighed.

I leaned back against the seat and took a deep breath. An elbow lightly tapped against my shoulder. I looked over and met curious green eyes. His forehead wrinkled and his eyebrows came closer together. As if asking me 'whats wrong' without even using words. I just gave a half smile and went back to looking out the window. I'm not fixing to spill my guts to this guy.

"Hey Em, birthday cheesecake?" Dean asked as we walked across the parking lot and into the diner.

"Yeah, sure."

"Cheesecake? What's wrong with birthday cake?" Judson asked confused.

"It's tradition." I said pulling a real smile for the first time since we hit town. "We've done it every year since I was like 5. I never much cared for real cake."

"I guess it could be weirder."

"No, whats weird is her ability to eat an entire thing by herself in the course of a day." Dean added.

"Where the hell does it all go?" Judson asked with wide eyes looking me up and down.

"To the bottomless Winchester pit. Dean has one too. Sam might develop one if he quit shoving it full of rabbit food."

"Well when you die of heart disease and I'm still jogging the block at 80 we'll see who's got the upper hand." Sam teased.

"Sam. Hunters don't live to be 80." I told him with a hint of seriousness behind the joking tone.

"Well that wasn't morbid." Dean groaned as we sat down in the booth. I scooted in and Dean of course sat next to me, leaving Judson and Sam across from us.

"Hi guys, I'm Marissa and I'll be your waitress for the evening." The tall redhead said as she graciously appraised all 3 of the men sitting with me, then her eyes fell on me. They narrowed slightly, as if sizing me up. Wondering how plane jane me ended up sitting at this table.

"What can I get you to drink?" She asked me, looking down her nose slightly.

"Waters fine." I said narrowing my eyes back a little bit.

"Same here." Sam smiled, Judson and Dean both got a coke.

"Well she couldn't be any more obvious." I groaned as she strutted away from the table.

"Aw come on now Em, you know the ladies can't resist me." Dean teased. I rolled my eyes.

"So how old are you now, grandma?" Judson asked from across the table.

"Seventeen." I grinned.

"Almost old enough to do the fun stuff huh?"

"I have plenty of fun, thanks."

I went back to looking over the menu. I don't really know why… I always get the same thing. But tonight. I'm a year older. I'm going to order something different. I'm the birthday girl, and I can have whatever I want.

"Alright guys, we ready to order?" Marissa asked, making an obvious point to look all 3 men in the eyes and not me. If she's not going to pay me any attention, I'll demand it.

"Yeah, I'll have a double bacon burger. Fries. Thanks." I smiled handing her the menu. Dean and Sam both shot me and odd glance.

"The same." Dean said with a charming grin.

"I'll a take the chef salad." Sam nodded as he handed her the menu. Wonder what Mr. Badass over there eats. Is he a bottomless pit? Or a health food junkie like Sam?

"I'll uh, have the chili cheese fries." He said not even looking up as he talked, he briefly smiled at her, but only in the polite way like Sam did, when he handed the menu back. It was kind of interesting. I figured he'd be a flirt like Dean.

"What time you think this place closes down tonight?" Dean said watching Marissa's ass as she walked away.

"Dean. Really? We're supposed to be working right now."

"Fine. So what's the next move?"

"Motive. Figure why someone wanted the vic dead." I said looking out the window. "Did you see if the husband was having an affair?"

"You mean did I ask the grieving husband who's wife just brutally died if he was banging Margret from accounting? No. I didn't think it seemed appropriate." Judson shot back.

"Hey I'm just saying. He wouldn't be the first guilty man, and he won't be the last."

"Wow you are so optimistic. Are you always this cheery on your birthday?"

I shot him bitch face and a middle finger as Marissa arrived back at the table.

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Hey!" Dean hollered, I snickered. Okay. That one was a funny one.

"Here you go darling." Marissa said as she dipped down and laid Dean's plate in front of him, giving him a good look down her yellow uniform. Really bitch?

"Oh, I think you missed a button there. Darling." I whispered loudly to her, making a fake sympathetic smile. She scoffed and walked away. Dean glared at me as I took a bite of the huge burger in front of me, never breaking eye contact with him.

"Better check your food for spit." Judson recommended.

"Nah, this happens all the time. Its what happens when you ride around with this asshole." I said nodding towards Dean.

"Like I said. I can't help it that the ladies find me irresistible."

"Yeah well right about now we all find you a little annoying, so eat." Sam said pouring dressing on his salad.

"So do you guys have a lot of experience with witches?" Judson asked between bites. I had my burger mid air for a bite, but my stomach flopped a little and I set it back down, it didn't go unnoticed. I met eyes with Sam who was directly across from me. He bumped me under the table with his foot and Dean casually threw his arm over the back of the booth. I can't appreciate them more for trying not to be obvious, but I think we've failed. This is all new for us… we avoided witch cases. We didn't talk about witches. We all put this off, and now its unavoidable.

I have to face it.

"Yeah. We've had a run in or two." Dean finally answered. Judson seemed to pick up on the odd tension at the table.

"Am I missing something here? Cause if we're gonna be working together I kinda need to know what you know. That was the whole point of me asking for your help."

The three of us Winchesters shared a guilty look before diverting our eyes back to our plates. My appetite had disappeared at this point. I was just piddling around with my fries, Sam sighed and I knew it was coming.

"Emily was take-"

"The last time we were involved with a witch things got ugly." I quickly cut him off. "That's all. We don't know anything you don't. We just. Don't like witches. Can we finish our meal now please?"

Everyone was quiet and Judson stared at me for a concentrated moment. His eyes bored into mine, making me feel small and nervous, but somehow also excited.

"…Sure." He finally said, going back to his food. I pushed the plate in front of me away and leaned my head against Dean's arm. I have a bad feeling about this whole stupid case. Now things are all weird and I'm stuck sitting at this table with this guy, and I feel judged and ugh! I just wanna finish this case and go.

"So are we gonna watch the husband tonight?" I asked.

"Are you going to finish eating?" Judson shot back.

"I'm not that hungry."

"Em, really you should eat." Sam pushed.

"I eat. You might have forgotten about the giant breakfast you made me, but I didn't. I'm still digesting it. So. Like I said. I think we should watch the husband, see if anything raises a red flag."

"What happened to your bottomless pit?" Judson asked suspiciously.

"Looking at your face made me nauseous." I shot back. Judson chuckled and went back to his food.

"Alright, do you at least want dessert?" Dean asked.

"No, really De. I'm good. Those pancakes were better than any cheesecake this place could scrounge up." I said winking at him, he rolled his eyes but grinned a little in return.

An hour later we sat 4 deep in the impala. This time I asked to sit up front, Sam went in the back with Judson and Dean and I were taking turns with the binoculars. Something in me felt tense… on edge. Like my body was shivering from the cold, but it wasn't that cold out here.

"You cold kiddo?" Dean asked as he noticed me slide over a little closer to him for comfort.

"No, I'm fine."

"You kinda look like you're shaking like a leaf." Judson added, I turned to face him.

"I said I'm fine."

"Fine." He half smiled.

"Fine."

Gahhh he is annoying!

"Hey, hey… look." Sam said tapping me on the shoulder, I raised my binoculars as we watched the man in the car begin to choke on his food.

"De. Hex bag." I said realizing what was happening. We all jumped out and ran towards the vehicle.

"Stay sharp, they could be close by." Sam said as we reached the car and Dean began to pull the door open. I turned and surveyed the parking lot.

"Oh my god." I whispered. "Dean…"

"Check the car!" Dean yelled, ignoring me as he pulled the man from the vehicle, Judson and Sam both dove into the car and began to rip it apart looking for the bag.

My eyes only stayed on them for a split second before going back to the dark corner of the parking lot, near the backside of the building where the large dumpster sits… there she was.

It was her. She waved to me, she remembered me.

Everything in me froze. I couldn't move even if a truck was driving straight at me.

She waved her hand, beckoning me to come towards her.

"Got it!" I heard Sam yell, but I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I vaguely smelt something burning as the boys burned the hex bag and the husband, Paul, started to catch his breath.

"Dean." I whimpered. Feeling something wet trail the side of my face. "Dean.. she's here."

"You okay?" Dean asked the man, still unaware that she's here. She's here and she wants me.

"What the hell is happening to me?!" A strange voice yelled, I assumed it to be Paul's.

"Someone murdered your wife and now they're trying to kill you, that's what's happening to you." Judson explained.

"Dean!" I said a little louder, my voice cracking at the end. I couldn't look at him, too afraid if I took my eyes off of her she'd disappear and find me. As sick as I felt having her in front of me, I would have been more afraid to not know where she was.

"Em?" Sam asked. "Emily… what is it?"

"Sh-she, she's here." I whispered. She stood and laughed, winking at me. Knowing that she was terrorizing me by only being in my line of sight.

"What the hell is she talking about?" Judson's voice softly filled the silence. Heavy footsteps moved closer to me. Dean moved to stand in front of me.

"Emily, what's going on?"

"Dean she's here. She's here…" I panicked, whispering to him but never looking away from her.

He turned and stared in the same direction I was, but shook his head with confusion.

"Emily there's no one there. She's not here."

"She's over there!" I said a little louder, focusing on Dean for only the fraction of a second before going back to the horrid woman across the parking lot.

"No, no she's not. She's dead Emily. I promise you. She's dead!"

"No! No.. she's. She's here!" Just as I finished the words, she began to walk closer to us. I grabbed onto Dean's hands and started to pull.

"Dean she's coming! She's coming… we have to go!" I cried frantically.

"Emily there's no one there." Sam said moving closer to us. But all I could see was her getting closer to us by the second. Why can't they see her!

"No! NO!"

The light post above us shattered, and the one next to it, and then the one at the other end of the parking lot. My breath drew in rapid and shallow, I felt the panic bellow from somewhere deep.

"Emily! Emily stop! Look at me!" Dean yelled shaking me, but she was getting closer and closer… until she was gone. Everything stopped rumbling and fell silent.

"Wh.. wh.. where'd she go?! Dean… Where'd she go?"

"Emily look at me dammit!"

I finally laid my eyes directly on him. The busted light above us flickered and buzzed as it fought to stay lit with only part of the bulb intact.

"She's not here. I promise you. I killed her, she's dead. You're okay."

"But, she. She was right there."

"No, Emily… she wasn't." Sam said sympathetically. I looked around, past Dean, past Sam, turning in place, looking for any sign that I wasn't just crazy… but. What if I was?

As I spun my eyes landed on Judson and Paul, one stared at me like I was a freak, a lunatic. I instantly felt nauseous. Afraid to meet Judson's gaze.

He was… I don't know. Staring at me. But he didn't make me feel ashamed, like the way Paul's stare did. He just made me feel… safe. He looked at me in concern, not speaking, not pushing. Just silently asking what was wrong.

"Kiddo. She's dead." Dean said as he pulled me in and forced me to look away from hypnotizing green eyes. The moment his arms enveloped me I wanted to burst. To break, but I refused. I choked it down. I will NOT lose it. I will NOT let him see me cry.

"De." I whispered. "I swore she… I thought."

"Shhh, I know. Its okay."

"Who the hell are you people?" Paul asked, killing the moment.

"The people who just saved your life." Dean told him harshly, picking up on his skeptical and condescending tone as he stared at me.

"A bunch of whackjobs is more like it!"

"If we hadn't have been following you, you'd be a doornail right now. Now who wants you dead?" I said pushing away from Dean and finding my nerve again. I just want to act like none of this ever happened. Hoping that if I ignored it, Judson would too.

"I-uh..."

"Come on think." Sam pushed, knowing he was holding something back.

"There's a woman-uh."

"Oh. Imagine that." I said shooting a look at Judson, he rolled his eyes.

"Keep going." Judson said to him.

"An affair- a mistake, she was un-balanced, she was blackmailing me and I put an end to it a week ago."

"What's her name?" Sam asked.

"Wha–What could she have to do with-?"

"Paul! What is her name?" I said frustrated. I'm ready to get the fuck out of here and this guy is dragging this shit out.

"Amanda. She works for me at the office."

"Get out of town for a couple of days, you should be safe." Dean grumbled as he started walking back to Baby. We all followed. Sam walking closely to me. I looked back and caught Judson watching us, when he went to look at me I quickly turned back around. I've already got to find a way around discussing what just happened. I don't need things to get any more awkward.

"Told you he was a cheating bastard." I mumbled as I slid into the backseat next to Judson.

He scoffed. "Lucky guess."

"Its not luck. Its experience. I've done this my entire life, and that's always one of the first things we rule out, no not everyone is a cheating asshole, but some of them are, and I'll be damned if every time they happen to be cheating the other woman isn't somehow involved."

"Okay, are you done bragging?"

"I'm not bragging. I'm making a point. You asked for our help, I'm helping."

"God are you always this stubborn?"

"Or worse." Dean mumbled from the front seat.

"Look who's talking."

"Okay, lets just. Shut up. Emily, hand me my laptop so I can find out where this woman lives." Sam interrupted, attempting to parent us all into behaving.

It took Sam a total of 5 minutes to track the woman down, another 9 to make it to her house. All of which were spent in awkward silence in the backseat with Dean mumbling along to the radio and Sam spouting out random information he found on the woman through her social media account.

"It's the blue one, on the corner." Sam said, pointing Dean in the right direction. I pulled out my beautiful new gun and checked my mag, tapping it before sliding it in. A habit I picked up from Dean.

"Nice piece."

"It was a birthday gift." I said with a slightly sarcastic smile.

"Well whoever bought it has good taste. Kimber is the best out there."

"My daddy. He always had good taste."

"You miss him?"

Judson's question caught me off guard. I didn't know whether to feed him another smart ass line, or to be honest with him. I sat for a second debating as my fingers ran across the engraving patterns on the barrel.

"Every day… days like today more than others."

"I bet."

"Alright kids, lets go get us a witch." Dean said as he pulled to the curb and climbed out of the car. I took a shaky breath as I stood and nodded to him, letting him know I was ready. I WILL conquer this.

"Em, you and him take the front door, Sam go round back, I'm gonna flank these two." Dean said nodding us all off in our own directions.

We carefully climbed onto the porch, careful not to alert any neighborhood dogs or nosy neighbors. We were smack dab in the middle of a suburb, the perfect hiding place for a witch really. No one suspects Nancy from the bake sale.

Once at the door we found it was locked, Judson pulled out his pick and nudged me to the side. I watched as he carefully picked the lock, twisting the knob the moment it clicked. We entered the dark house and instantly something smelt… funny.

We cleared the entry way and the living room, entering the kitchen I stopped.

"De. Check this out."

Laying in the floor was a bloody and very much so dead Amanda.

"That's a curveball."

"Yeah."

"Three per wrist, vertical. She wasn't foolin' around." Dean announced as he held up her arm and inspected the freshly made cuts. Sam tapped on the back door and I moved to let him in, once in the kitchen he began to pick through the pile of rotting burnt food on the counter.

"Ew… don't touch that." I warned.

"Looks like she was working some heavyweight evil here."

"Yep." Dean agreed as he turned to go down the hallway.

"Oh god! Freakin' witches! Seriously man, come on!" Dean shouted. I turned to find him face to face with a dead rabbit hanging from the ceiling. I got the chills and wrapped my arms around myself. It was strung up the same way the bodies were in that room. Hanging upside down, blood pooling beneath it.

"Guess we know where she got the rabbit's teeth from." Judson said walking over and looking at the rabbit for himself.

"I hope you get rabies from touching that thing."

"If I did I'd be sure to share." He said with a wink. I rolled my eyes and went back towards Sam.

"Well, Paul sure knows how to pick 'em huh? It's like Fatal Attraction all over again." Dean mumbled.

"And why does the rabbit always get screwed in the deal?! The poor little guy." I added.

"You know what I don't get, Dean? If she was so bent on revenge, why do this?"

"Well, she got Janet Dutton, thought she finished off Paul, decided to cap herself and make it a spurned lover's hat-trick." Judson guessed.

"Maybe." I mumbled, looking around the house some more, unconvinced that she did this to herself.

I glanced through a stack of books and magazines on her coffee table, moving things around, when something underneath it caught my eye.

"You guys sure she wanted this?"

"Well I mean this doesn't exactly look like the house of a sane and stable person."

"Then why would she use a hex bag?" I asked turning and holding it up.

"Another hex bag? Come on!" Dean groaned.

"Looks like we got a hit, huh? A little witch-on-witch violence?" Judson asked.

"I guess. We need to call in the body and get the hell outta here." Sam suggested. Dean nodded and began to dial as we all walked back towards the car, making sure no one saw us.

"Why are witches ganking each other?" I asked as we started down the road again.

"I don't know, but I think maybe we got a coven on our hands." Sam sighed. The thought made me even more sick to my stomach. One witch was bad enough, but a whole coven? There's no telling what we could be up against right now.

We drove back to the motel and decided to bunker down for the night. Picking up tomorrow with interviewing Amanda's friends. Seeing if they're part of this coven of witches Judson thinks he's found.

I stared out the window, watching us pass street lamp after street lamp, illuminating only the small area around them. Not showing the bigger picture.

I feel mortified. I feel judged. I wish Judson saw the bigger picture and not just my moments of temporary insanity. I can't bring myself to look over my right shoulder and face him. He and the boys are discussing strategy, and I'm to embarrassed to even look in his direction.

I must've looked like a lunatic.

"So, are we gonna talk about what happened?" Judson suddenly asked. My heart stopped. I tensed and glued my eyes to the scenery outside. Dammit… why couldn't he just leave it alone.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked , his voice dropping and octave or two from the friendly conversation they were just having.

"You know what I mean, I'm not stupid and I'm surely not blind. So talk.

I could hear his voice being directed at me on the last two words, he wanted me to talk. But how could I? I was frozen. I sat silently praying Sam or Dean would cover for me.

"Its nothing, really." Sam quickly said.

"Really? I sure thought it was something. The way someone knocked out all the lights in the parking lot. Shook the ground. Whoever Emily was seeing… That wouldn't happen to have anything to do with what Gordon told me would it?"

Dean slammed on the breaks and turned.

"Look man, you said you knew we weren't guilty of all that shit Gordon said. If you're changing you're tune, I suggest you reconsider."

"Whoa! Hey man chill. I'm not accusing anyone of anything. If I wanted to be against you then why would I put myself in this position? Where any one of you could kill me at a moment's notice. Again. I'm not stupid. I just think its only fair that if we're gonna help each other out that I have the full story. You three have been keeping something from me since you got here."

"What did Gordon tell you?" Sam asked.

"A bunch of mumbo jumbo about how you and Emily have… powers? Psychic abilities or something. That you were going to use them to lead a demon army and end the world. Again- the guy sounded a little off his rocker, so I dismissed it all. But what I saw back there, I think someone owes me an explanation."

The car fell silent. I felt 3 sets of eyes sitting on the back of my head. They were all waiting for me to speak. I swallowed loudly, still staring at the tree line on the other side of the road.

"Emily?" Judson asked. Pushing for me to explain.

"That. That yellow eyed demon we took down… he did something to us. As Babies. Us and a lot of other children… we all have some sort of ability. Sam had visions. But. They went away when I started having abilities of my own. I don't really know what mine are. Or how to control them. They're just… there. Demons hate me, they don't want us to lead them. Well, not me anyways. Some of them wanted Sam. But we want nothing to do with demons or leading an army. All you need to know is that this was forced on us. We didn't want it. We can't help it." I turned and finally faced him. "Only a few people even know this. So if you open your mouth to anyone, I'll kill you in ways you can't even imagine. Got it?"

"Yeah. I got it." He said looking into my eyes like he was searching for my soul… I don't understand what it is about him that makes me feel so … small. Like he's. Untouchable.

"So what do witches have to do with any of that?" He asked after Dean started to pull back on the highway.

"It doesn't." Sam said. "Before any of this crap with the demons started, Emily was taken by a witch and she w-"

"And we're not discussing that. Sorry. Story times over for the night children." I quickly said, cutting him off. This guy already knows too much about us. There's no need to tell him anything else.

I felt a shiver run down my back at the thought of her. That. Room… the chains. The blood. It all made me want to hurl. It made me want to burst into the tears I'd been holding back since that parking lot. I fidgeted with my hands, picking at the skin around my nails, till they were almost bleeding.

A hand reached out and took one of mine away from the other. I jumped slightly and went to pull back, but the grip on my wrist tightened slightly. I looked up surprised, Judson looked down on me with a guilty look.

"I'm sorry." He mouthed. I stared at him for a moment before I stopped resisting. I let my hand fall slack, he kept them separated, so that I couldn't fidget anymore, couldn't pick at my nails.

He gently rubbed his thumb on the side of my hand. Tingles fell across my skin, but for a whole new reason this time. Not because I was anxious or afraid… something about how gentle he was. It relaxed me. I took a deep breath and enjoyed the silence as we rode back to the motel. By the time we pulled into the gravel parking lot I was almost asleep. The sound of Dean getting out of the car and shutting the door caused me to jump awake.

I Immediately noticed Judson's hand still hovered over mine. I looked up to him and smiled briefly, as much as I didn't want to do it. I pulled my hand away and climbed out of the car.

"Well. I guess we'll see you in the morning." Sam said as he nodded to Judson before he ran up the stairs. We walked back into our room and I went straight for the bed. I was truly exhausted. One of my overly huge brothers plopped down next to me. I turned and met Dean.

"You did good today kiddo."

"You're a bad liar. I freaked out… in front of everyone."

"He was bound to find out eventually Em, he took it pretty well. Honestly I don't know what you're worried about. The guy's pretty chill."

"Yeah. I guess."

"Hey Em. Be honest with me."

"Always."

"Do you have a thing for him?"

I felt nervous all of a sudden.

"No." I quickly said. Squinting my eyebrows. Dean chuckled.

"Speaking of bad liars…" He teased. I hit him in the face with a pillow.

"I don't like him De. He just… frustrates me. And now he knows all this stuff about us. I don't know. I just… I don't like it."

"I know. Me either. But we had to tell him something."

"I just wanna wake up. Finish this stupid case, and get far away from the guy. Before he realizes how fucked up we all really are."

"Night kiddo." Dean groaned as he kissed my forehead and leaned over me to turn off the lamp.

The next morning we met and decided to split. I'd ride with Judson and tail Sam and Dean as they pulled the fed routine to talk to Amanda's friends. 2 feds is normal… 4 is suspicious. So instead I sat in Judson's front seat with a pair of binoculars, watching as the boys interrogated the woman who was gardening herbs.

"Looks like wolfsbane." Judson commented, looking through binoculars of his own.

"Yeah, and mandrake. This lady definitely dabbles in something."

"Well. I guess we'll just wait and see what your brothers found out."

"Yeah." I sighed sitting back against the seat and lowering the binoculars.

"So how'd you sleep?"

Well. The nightmares were splendid.

"Fine."

"Are you lying to me?" He asked glaring at me with a raised eyebrow and a cocky smile.

"Would it matter?" I said matching his expression. He laughed and shook his head.

"Emily." Judson said with a curiosity that told me a question was soon to follow. I sighed and turned to look at him again. "Why won't you tell me what happened with the witch?"

His question caught me off guard. My face fell and it was obvious that he noticed.

"Why should I tell you?" I asked staring back out the windshield.

"Because I asked."

"So? If I asked you to tell me about the most horrible things that ever happened to you would you spill your guts without hesistation?"

He looked at me thoughtfully before looking away.

"My parents… I watched them die. Trying to save my sister. She died too."

I turned and looked at him in shock. I was NOT expecting that.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Me too, but it happened. It was a long time ago, you just kinda learn to live after the fact."

"Yeah. I know what you mean." I said honestly. "This witch… she uh. She took me when I was younger. Tortured me for 9 days before Dean and Daddy found me. I guess I'm still learning how to live with it."

"This is your first time hunting a witch since then isn't it?"

"Yeah. It is."

"I'm sorry, I wouldn't have called if I had known."

"Its okay. It was bound to happen eventually. Its better I do it now while Dean's here."

Judson shot me a questioning look, and I knew what he was fixing to ask, but thankfully Dean and Sam began to walk back towards the car.

"Hey, look." I said pointing, the boys got in the car and drove away from what was now a group of 3 women standing in the garden, Judson pulled out on the road and drove slowly towards the same direction of the impala. As we passed the three women looked to be in deep and concerned conversation. This was a promising sign. We drove back to the motel for the boys to change and us all to swap into one car.

We all jumped in, Judson and I in the back again, Dean and Sam up front.

"Well, I'm already sold on that Elizabeth chick. Did you see that victory garden of hers? Belladonna, wolfsbane, mandrake, not to mention that little flinch she threw when we mentioned the occult."

"Well, she's definitely had a good run lately, gone up a few tax brackets; won almost too many raffles. Kinda thing a little black magic always helps with." Judson said looking back through his research as we drove.

"I don't think she's alone either. Looks like 'MRS. Renee Van Allen' has won almost every craft contest she has entered in the past three months." Sam said matching Judson as he also looked through our findings.

"Regular Martha Stewarts." I sighed. "I think that was the coven you guys met back there. Minus one member. They looked freaked after you guys left."

"Well. Amanda was clearly going off the reservation. What do you think, they killed her to keep up appearances?" I asked.

"Seems like an appearance kind of crowd." Dean agreed. "If they killed the nut-job, should we uh, thank them or what?"

"They're working black magic too, Dean. They need to be stopped." Sam said.

"'Stopped' like stopped?" Dean questioned. Sam shot him a 'duh' look. "They're human, Sam."

"They're murderers."

"Fine. Burn witch burn."

We drove for another few minutes before the car seemed to slow a little and make an odd noise. I looked up and Dean's face was full of confusion.

"What the hell?" Dean said as the engine sputtered until it came to a stop. The headlights flashed, and when they came back on a blonde bitch appeared on the road in front of us.

"Fuck me dude." I groaned. Sam quickly jumped out of the car, Dean followed.

"Who the hell is that?" Judson asked.

"A pain in my ass." I groaned getting out, Judson was right behind me.

"Ruby?" Sam said surprised.

"Sam, listen to me, there's no time."

"For what? What are you talking about?"

"You have to get out of town."

"So this is Ruby, huh?" Dean asked raising the gun and cocking it. "Never had the pleasure."

"Lucky you." I said sarcastically.

"Dean!" Sam yelled, warning him.

"I was hoping you'd show up again." Dean smiled at her.

"Point that thing somewhere else." She growled.

"Hahaha! Right."

"Sam please. Go. Get in the car and don't look back."

"Why? I don't understand."

"Hey skank we can take care of a few kitchen witches, thanks." I said crossing my arms and walking forward. For some reason every time I moved so did Judson, staying right along side me.

"I'm not talking about witches, you little bitch. Witches are whores. I'm talking about who they serve."

"Demons. They get their power from demons. We know." Sam said.

"Yeah. And there's one here, now."

"Oh, what, you mean besides you?" I asked.

"Sam, it knows you're in town and it's gonna come after you and Emily, and its way more than you can handle."

"Oh come on, what is this huh? Please tell me you're not listening to this crap!" Dean yelled to Sam, who looked conflicted.

"Besides, I think you underestimate what I can and can't handle, bitch." I said shooting her a knowing look. She has no idea what I'm capable of… course neither do I.

"Put a leash on your bitch, Sam, if you wanna keep her."

"Let me show you what the fuck a leash feels like!" I said moving towards her but Judson grabbed my arm and Sam jumped in front of me.

"Emily! Chill out, just. Let me figure this out."

"No! No! She's messing with us, God knows why, that's who they are!"

"I'm telling you the truth." Ruby said flatly.

"And I'm telling you to shut up bitch." Dean yelled back.

"I'm sorry, why are you even a part of this conversation?!"

"Oh, I don't know maybe because he's my brother, you black eyed skank! You talk to him then you talk to me too!"

"Oh, right, right. You care about your brother and sister so much. That's why you're checking out in a few months, leaving them all alone"

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, fighting against Judson's hold, feeling the anger build up.

"At least let me try and save him, since you won't be here to do it any more."

"I said shut up!" I yelled, the ground rumbled beneath us all, Ruby flinched slightly.

"C'mon you little whore, you think you're such a badass then bring it on!" Ruby teased. I felt fire flow through my veins. Baby's engine roared behind us. Judson's grip on my arm tightened and he swung another around my waist, pulling me backwards.

"Alright, time to go." Dean said aiming the gun for her head.

"I'm not going anywhere till Sam does."

"Fine." Dean smiled, firing the colt, but Sam jumped forward and knocked his arm up.

"DEAN DON'T!" He screamed. The gunfire shut us all up, Ruby disappeared.

"Get in the car." Dean growled, talking to all of us. Judson slowly dropped his arm from around me, but kept a hand on my back as we walked back to the car. Great… he got to see me look MORE like a freak. I don't know how I'm supposed to explain these abilities to someone when I can't even explain them to myself! I don't understand them…

The ride back was tense and silent. Once we pulled in Dean got out, slammed the door, and stormed off.

"Give us a minute." Sam said as he followed suit. I sighed. Slowly opening the car door and getting out.

"Well. Life with the Winchesters just gets more and more exciting doesn't it."

"Shut up." I sighed."

"So. They happen when you're angry or scared. Am I getting that right?"

"Can we not. Okay?" I said turning in frustration. "Just. Not right now."

I walked up to the door and leaned against it, listening. Their yelling could be clearly heard without any effort. Judson leaned against the post a few feet across from me. Staring at me as I stared at the ground. Listening.

"No one's stringing me along! Look, I know it's dangerous, that she is dangerous, but like it or not, she's useful." Sam yelled.

"No! We kill her before she kills us." Dean yelled back.

"Kill her with what? The gun she fixed for us?"

"Whatever works."

"Dean, if she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives."

There was a moment of silence.

"Look, we have to start looking at the big picture Dean, start thinking in strategies and – and moves ahead… It's not so simple, we're not – we're not just hunting anymore. We're at war."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Why are you always asking me that?"

"Because you're taking advice from a demon for starters. And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people. You know, it used to eat you up inside."

"Yeah, and what has that gotten me? Look at Emily. She worried herself sick over killing that guy at the charity ball… how am I supposed to tell her not to when I can't do the same thing. I had to grow some thicker skin. What else could I do?"

My nervous eyes shot up to Judson's. I knew he heard them… I knew he could hear everything. I instantly became uncomfortable. Wrapping my arms around myself and tapping my foot.

"Nothing, but it's just what you're supposed to do okay? We're supposed to drive in the freakin' car and freakin' argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap. And that guy at the ball was different. He had it coming! He would've raped her or worse!"

Hearing them talk about it made me want to hurl. Knowing Judson could hear it all made me want to bury my face in the sand. I prayed he would just walk away. Stop listening. But instead, he took three steps towards me.

"So what are you mad at me for Dean? Because I'm starting to agree with you? Because I finally see why we HAVE to finish the job even when we don't want to?"

"No, I'm not mad, I'm- I'm- I'm worried, Sam –I'm worried because you're not acting like yourself. I notice it, Em notices it. We both worry about you."

"Yeah, you're right, I'm not. I don't have a choice."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Look, Dean, you're leaving – right? And I gotta stay here in this craphole of a world. Take care of Em. So the way I see it, if I'm gonna get us through it, if I'm gonna lead us into the war without you… I gotta change."

His words made my lip quiver. I thought he was still set on Ruby having a way to save Dean… she's one of the only options we have left. As much as I hate it… she's the hail mary.

I bit down on my lip. Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in. Holding it.

"Change into what?"

"Into you. I gotta be more like you."

I let out the breath, feeling it fall shaky at the end.

A hand grazed my chin, lifting it upward. I slowly opened my eyes, feeling like I could melt as bright green eyes were only inches away from mine. Its like he could see every bit of pain I felt just by looking at me. Like somehow he just… knew my pain. He pinned a stray hair behind my ear.

"Ah!" Dean screamed out in pain, causing me to jump, I quickly pulled away from Judson and burst into the room.

"Sam something's wrong- bunch of knives inside of me!"

"Dean!" I ran in calling for him, rushing to his side on the bed as he bent over and clutched his stomach. Sam was kneeling in front of him.

"Son of a bitch-" Dean groaned, in obvious pain.

"De, hey. Look at me!" I said getting on the floor in front of him and picking up his face in my hands.

"The coven, it's gotta be the coven. " He grumbled, barely able to speak the words.

"Sam! Hex bag!" I said as he met my eyes, it clicked and he and Judson began to tear the room apart as I dropped to my knees, holding Dean's head as he coughed and moaned in pain.

He opened his eyes for a split second and I could see the fear. It made everything in me tense.

"Its okay De… you're gonna be okay." I told him, rubbing his cheek with my thumb, he attempted to nod but instead dropped his head and began to cough up blood on my jeans.

"SAM!" I yelled panicking!

"I can't find it!" He yelled back. Dean began to spew more blood, choking on it.

"No! No no no no… De!" I cried.

"Sam threw Dean's bag out on the bed above us and found the colt, making sure it was loaded before he ran towards the door.

"Sam! What are you doing?" I asked. He ignored me. "Sam!"

"Judson go with him! Please!" I begged, he didn't hesitate, he ran out the door.

I looked back down at Dean, panic filling his eyes the same way it did mine. There was so much blood.

"We're okay, we're gonna be okay De!" I cried, hugging him closer to me, not caring as his blood stained my clothing.

"Em… I. I'm sorry."

"No, No… don't. You're not dying tonight! You're not dying in a few months! No one's dying!" I cried.

He doubled over again in pain and spewed more blood. I just clung to him tighter, as if my grip would stop him from dying.

Suddenly the door flew open and in ran Ruby, she threw me against the wall and charged towards Dean.

"You bitch! What are you doing!" I yelled running towards them.

"Saving his life!" She yelled back as she leaned him over on the bed and poured black liquid into his mouth. I froze, unsure what to do. I could kill her with my bare hands for even touching him right now, but what if she IS saving him.

Dean coughed and sputtered, spewing the black juice all over himself. She stood and looked over to me.

"Stop. Calling me bitch."

Dean slowly sat up and I grabbed him a towel to clean himself off. He began wiping his face.

"Next time you point that gun at me, I'm not gonna just disappear, understand? " Ruby said tossing Dean his sawed off.

"You ... saved my life." He said hesitantly.

"Don't mention it."

"What was that stuff? God, it was ass. It tasted like ass."

"…Dean. How do you know what ass taste like?" I said slightly grossed out. He just looked down at the floor uncomfortably.

"It's called witchcraft, short bus." Ruby said as she walked out the door.

"You're the short bus ... short bus." Dean mumbled slowly as she disappeared.

"Smooth De. Real smooth…"

"Shut up. Lets go get Sam."

We ran outside but realized that Sam had taken Baby. Judson's truck was parked just down the isle. I got a small grin.

"Sorry Judson." I smiled as I broke in and hotwired the thing.

"Okay, move over. I'm driving." Dean said.

"What?! No way. I hot wired it, I'm driving!"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Fine! Lets just go."

I smiled and adjusted the seat so that I could reach the pedals, I threw it in reverse and stomped on the gas, letting the engine rumble under me. It felt exciting. Like it did when I drove Luke's truck through the mud. I hauled ass all the way, normally Dean would complain, but with Sam possibly dying he didn't argue.

Once at the house we hopped the curb and jumped out, running inside, guns drawn. I could hear voices, struggles, Dean nodded before charging into the living room, he was quickly thrown against the wall, me following suit.

"Ah! Son of a bitch!" I said as my head bounced off the wall. I opened my eyes and looked around… all four of us were pinned. One of the witches, had black eyes…. Well. Obviously she's not a witch. Witches couldn't hold us against the wall like this.

"Demons? Really?" I sighed.

"Well well well… look what the cat dragged in. I was just telling big brother here about the new up and comer. Who wants Sam's head on a platter… and yours. Well. You're gonna be the new trophy. OH I can't wait to see what they do to you." The woman chuckled as she walked towards me.

"Fuck you!" I yelled spitting in her face. She slapped me, turning my face to the side.

"Hey!" Dean yelled. "Get your hands off of her you bitch!"

She stalked off in Dean's direction. I watched carefully.

"Wait!" A voice called. Ruby appeared in the room. Hands held up in surrender.

"Please. I just ... came to talk."

"You made it out of the gate. Impressive. That was a bitch of a fight, wasn't it?" The demon called.

"Doors out of Hell only open for so long."

"What do you want, Ruby?"

"I've been lost without you. Take me back. That's why I led the Winchesters here."

I shot an angry look at her, then at Sam. Dean was mouthing the words "TOLD YOU" to Sam who was confused, but watching Ruby carefully. I looked over to Judson, he was only watching me, only concerned with me… it was. Strange, but comforting.

"They're for you ... as a gift."

"Really."

"Let me serve you again. I've wanted it – I've wanted you – for so long."

"You were one of my best."

Ruby and the woman came closer and closer to each other, their chests almost touching, suddenly Ruby pulls her knife, but the woman catches her wrist mid air.

"But then again, you always were a lying whore." The woman said before throwing Ruby sideways. They fought for a few minutes, all of which I spent trying to break free of the grasp the witch had on us.

"You're really telling me you threw in your chips with the Winchesters here?" The Demon teased as she stood over Ruby. Who's knife had been knocked dangerously close to my feet. I fought with everything I had to break free, but she was so strong.

"Come on. Get up!" She said kicking Ruby. "I said, get up!"

"We've been here before, haven't we?" The woman said as she pulled Ruby up by her jacket. She then looks over towards Sam. "She didn't tell you?"

"Pretty mortifying I guess. She was one of mine. I turned her out a long, long time ago. Ruby here was a witch. Of course that was when you were human. Didn't want your friends to know that all those centuries back you sold yourself to me? Embarrassing, I guess. But don't worry love, no secrets where you're heading remember?"

Ruby's eyes flashed with panic. I pushed and pushed and pushed, feeling something finally stir in the pit of my stomach. It went from my stomach up to my throat… threw my arms and my legs and even though it hurt I pushed even harder. Finally, the grasp on me broke and I collapsed to the floor. I immediately reached for the knife and crawled towards the woman who was in the process of killing Ruby. I stood shakily behind her and swung with what little strength I had left, swinging the knife over and over again into her back, her body flashing with electricity with every strike. She dropped Ruby to the ground before collapsing herself. I dug the knife into her back one more time before falling to my knees. Feeling exhaustion over take me.

The last thing I remember was arms picking me up, and Ruby's voice telling us to leave.

"Emily…" Dean's voice sounded so far away. "Em wake up… Wake up babygirl."

Something was tapping the side of my face. I jerked away from the annoying contact. Swatting at whoever was causing it.

"Emily, open your eyes sweetheart."

I groaned and strained to lift my heavy eye lids. Dean's face hovered over me, he looked relieved.

"De…" I groaned.

"Hurt anywhere Em?" Sam's voice cut in.

I nodded my head up and down as Dean lifted me up, so that I was sitting up in the seat instead of laying down. I looked around and Sam was driving the impala, Dean was sitting in the back with me.

"Where's Judson?"

"Driving his truck, he was thrilled that you hotwired it by the way." Sam chuckled.

"What happened?"

"You saved us kiddo." Dean smiled. "Again. You're gonna start making me look bad if you don't stop."

I looked around confused as Sam pulled into the motel parking lot, I looked out the back glass and saw Judson's truck pulling in behind us. Dean climbed out and held out a hand, helping lift me out of the impala. I swayed on my feet slightly, still trying to fight my way through the fog that felt like it was floating around in my head.

"Hey grand theft auto." Judson called as he jumped out of his truck. "Next time you wanna borrow my ride just ask."

"Oh shut up."

"I mean I'm sure you looked good behind the wheel and all but I gotta rewire the whole thing."

"I'd say I'm sorry but I'm really not." I smiled as I walked into the motel room, Dean sat me down on the bed and I let my head fall into my hands, trying to force myself to wake up.

"Let me see your face kiddo." Sam said as he sat in front of me. He dabbed at it and pulled away a bloody rag. I didn't even realize I was bleeding. I guess the bitch slapped me real good.

"You okay?" Sam asked me.

"Yeah. A little dizzy, but… I'll make it." I sighed. "Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"Whats happening to me?" I whispered, tears slipping down my cheek.

"Whoa.. hey, hey. Don't cry sweetheart." He said as he sat up and wrapped his arms around me. I just felt… overwhelmed. The witch… Dean… my abilities… everything. Just. Hit me all at once. I felt so vulnerable all of a sudden.

"Shhh. Its okay." Sam cooed.

"I'm scared." I whispered. "I feel like I can't control myself."

"Em, you just wore your body out, that's all. You fought hard to break loose. Its okay, you're okay." Sam repeated as he ran his hands through my hair. Dean entered the room, taking sudden notice of my disastrous appearance.

"Hey what happened?!" Dean said kneeling down in front of Sam and I.

"She's just… shaken up." Sam said. Dean reached up and wiped tears off my face with his thumb.

"I'm proud of you kiddo. You kicked ass."

I nodded sniffling.

"C'mere." Dean said as he leaned forward to push my hair behind my ears. "Why don't you take a hot shower, relax a little. Jobs done. We'll head out as soon as you're done, let you sleep in the backseat, so you'll actually get some good sleep okay?"

"What about you? You've gotta sleep." I asked, sniffling between words.

"I'll be fine, just go get cleaned up."

I nodded and walked into the bathroom. Showering in the hottest water possible. It felt nice. It woke me up, clearing the fog in my head. I took my time getting out and getting dressed, drying my dark hair with the towel. It was finally getting a little length back to it. I dabbed on a little make up since I knew Judson was still hanging around, then I flipped my hair back and forth before giving it one more stroke with the towel and walking out. Sam was at the sink, cleaning something.

"Where's De?"

"He stepped outside."

I walked out, looking around. The impala was in front of our room, and a few parking spaces down Judson was on a step stool, leaned over into his truck, rewiring it I assume.

"So did I ruin it for good?"

"Nahhh. I'm about done."

"Hey you seen Dean?"

"Yeah, he walked around the corner." Judson said with a nod of his chin. I smiled at him before walking in the direction he last saw Dean. It was chilly outside with my wet hair so I pulled my jacket closer to my body as I rounded the corner of the building. When I did I stopped.

Dean… and Ruby.

I moved closer but stayed hidden, listening to their conversation.

"Wacky night. So let me get this straight, you were human once, you died, you went to hell, you became a..." Dean asked trailing off.

"Yeah." Ruby answered.

"How long ago?"

"Back when the plague was big."

"So all of 'em – every damn demon – they were all human once?"

What are you doing Dean…

"Every one I've ever met."

"Well, they sure don't act like it."

"Most of them have forgotten what it means, or even that they were. That's what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what Hell is – forgetting what you are."

"Philosophy lesson from a demon. I'll pass, thanks."

"It's not philosophy. It's not a metaphor. There's a real fire in the pit. Agonies you can't even imagine."

My stomach began to twist.

"No, I saw "Hellraiser". I get the gist."

"Actually they got that pretty close. Except for all the custom leather…. The answer is yes, by the way."

"I'm sorry?"

"Yes, the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later Hell will burn away your humanity. Every Hell-bound soul, every one, turns into something else. Turns you into us. So yeah. Yeah, you can count on it."

My stomach flopped. Dean as a Demon… I can't. I can't even imagine. I can't let him go to hell. Maybe Sam's right. Maybe we need to start kissing Ruby's ass. She may be our only hope to save him.

"There's no way of saving me from the Pit is there?" Dean asked boldly. There was silence. But not the regular silence. The kind of silence that the world balances on. That same kind of silence I remembered hearing when Sam died… when Dead died. The silence that swallows you. The silence that you're begging someone to end, but at the same time you're too terrified to know if the answer goes in your favor or not.

Yeah. That kind of silence. The deadly kind.

"No." Ruby sighed.

Shattered.

That's how I felt at the moment. I felt shattered. All this time… we've been looking and looking. Sam, he's been banking on Ruby being the answer. All this time we fought… and there's nothing?

Nothing?

I quickly moved away from my hiding spot and made my way back around the building. Unable to listen to this any longer. I stopped as soon as I was out of Dean's sight and puked… again and again. I stood shakily.

I can't be here.

I can't be here anymore… I can't watch him die! I can't just sit here and look at him in the eyes. I can't watch Sam fight day and night to save him, knowing there's nothing.

I have to leave.

I quickly made my way back to the front of the building. I saw Judson climbing down from his truck, and the idea sprung so fast I didn't have time to think twice about it. I knew if I didn't act fast then my brother's would stop me.

"Hey." I said frantically. "Get that thing running?"

"Yeah. Are you okay?" Judson asked confused.

"I need you to take me somewhere. Now."

"Okay? Is everything-"

"Can you take me or not?!"

"…Yeah. Yeah. Get your bag."

I went over to the impala and quietly grabbed my bag out of the back, making sure I had my gun and a few boxes of ammo. I quietly shut the trunk and jogged back towards Judson. He took my bag and looked at me worried.

"What?!"

"Emily. What's going on?"

"Look! I have to go somewhere. Either you take me and keep me safe, or you let me run off on my own. Which one do you think will anger Sam and Dean less?"

He rolled his eyes before giving me a boost to climb into his truck, tossing me my bag and quickly making his way to the driver seat. He quickly backed out of the parking lot and began to drive away.

I stared into the rearview mirror as the motel became smaller and smaller. Wondering how long it will take before they realize we're gone.

That I'm gone.

"So, are you gonna tell me where we're going?" Judson asked.

"Halltown, Ohio."


	52. Chapter 52

Author's Note: Okay… so this is long. But my original chapters usually are. Lots going on! Please leave a review! I love to hear what you guys have to say! I love talking with you all about my ideas. Sorry it took so long to get this up. I wrote and then re wrote and tried to make this perfect! SO- please review. Love you guys! Thank you for following Em's story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or its characters.

"So..." Judson mused. "Whats in Ohio?"

Everything I can never have.

"Trees."

"Wow. I'm shocked." He deadpanned. "So let me get this straight. I have to drive you halfway across the country, but I don't get to know why?"

I sat for a second and thought about my answer… what could I say? He wouldn't understand. He doesn't know… If I go to Bobby he'll call my brothers. Bobby already knows about my tragic disaster I call life. I need something…

Normal.

I need to go to the one person who made me feel like I was normal for even five seconds. I just… I need him right now. I need him to hold me. I need him to tell me I'm okay.

Even though I'm not. And I don't feel like I ever will be.

Sam died not long after we left him… My brain went straight from getting over my heartbreak to grieving. I never really looked back after that. I never had time to miss him. But the moment I realized where I wanted to go tonight I knew I still wanted him. I felt that distance. I felt that pain.

I miss Luke.

"No." I whispered. Continuing my internal pity party.

"C'mon Emily… you gotta give me something. I mean. You literally grabbed your bag and ran. You didn't say a word to either of your brothers? What the hell's going on?"

"Why do you have to know everything? Huh?" I snapped. "Why should I tell you?! Its not like you care."

"Then why ask me to take you?" He said with increasing irritation. I knew if I didn't back off a little he'd turn around. And We're not far enough away from my brothers for me to have a chance to get away quickly.

"Because. I just… I needed an out. And I needed an out right then and there… and you're not whipped by my brothers. I can trust you not to call them the moment I'm not looking."

"Needed an out from what?"

"… Please. I just. My head hurts and I just want to shut my eyes for a few minutes."

"Do you always whine this much?"

"Shut up." I groaned. Shutting my eyes and praying for a few minutes of peace.

Instantly my phone began to buzz.

Fuck.

I looked down and found Dean's name flashing across the small screen. I rejected the call.

"Wow. 11 minutes. They're good." Judson chuckled. "You're really gonna owe me for pissing off your brothers."

"They'll get over it. They don't have a right to be angry."

"More secrets." Judson sighed. "Do you like being a mystery?"

"I just don't like nosy people." I smiled back, he laughed.

My phone buzzed again… reject.

Again… reject.

"Damn girl. You're cold. You know the more you do this the more intrigued and uh 'nosy' I'm getting over here."

"I just can't talk to them right now." I mumbled. I looked up to Judson, and its like he was finally realizing that I was barely holding myself together. I was moments away from falling to the ground and never getting up again. I was wrecked… and the look in his eyes told me he knew it.

He stared at me for a moment and looked back up to the road.

"Hey. You got anything nice to wear in that bag?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"I said do you have anything nice in there?"

"Uh? Jeans? Black vneck?"

"Perfect." He grinned.

(Sam's POV)

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled as he threw the phone down on the bed, spinning in a circle and rubbing his hands along the back of his head.

"Dean. Calm down. Judson's truck is gone, he's not in his room. They're probably together. At least she's not alone."

"Calm down?! Calm down!... She's gone Sam! She took off, EMILY took off!"

"I can see that Dean, and I'm just as upset about it as you are but panicking does us no good."

"No! No you're not! Okay… this isn't you at 18! This is Em, our Em. She doesn't run from things! She's the one person that never left me, never."

I watched the wheels turn across his face. He's terrified.

"Okay. You're right. I'm sorry." I told him.

"Why won't she answer the damn phone!"

"Because she doesn't want to Dean! We're better off trying to figure out what set her off in the first place. Retrace her steps… figure out where things went so bad that she felt the need to take off with some guy who pisses her off every 20 minutes."

"Dude. You're so bad at flirting you can't even tell when other people do it. She's into him. I just can't figure out if he's into her. If he is I'll rip out his freakin lungs!"

"Dean. Get back to the point." I sighed.

"Right.. right. Okay. Well, the last I saw her was when I told her to go take a shower."

"Okay, and then she did. She got out, asked me where you went, I told her outside and she went out the door.

"Wait, she came looking for me?"

"Yeah, she didn't seem mad or upset though. She actually seemed to be doing better than she was earlier."

"Okay then what?"

"Then nothing… I stepped outside to the car. Judson was finishing up at his truck. I asked him if he needed anything, he said no, kept looking around the corner, when I asked why he said he was waiting for her to come back around so he could harass her for how much he spent on a new wiring kit. I went back in, and then eight minutes ago you came back through the door."

"Son of a bitch." Dean mumbled closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. He slowly sat down on the bed.

"Dean, could you explain to me what you're thinking here?"

"I know why she left… she heard us."

"Us? Who's us."

"Ruby."

"Ruby? Dean, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Uh. Ruby… she uh. She came to talk to me. Emily must have seen us talking and got pissed and took off." Dean explained.

He stared straight ahead, not looking me in the eye as he spoke. But he didn't need to, I could tell there was more to the story, but now's not the time to ask. We've gotta find Em before she does something stupid.

"I'm calling her again." Dean sighed.

"Dean. She's not going to answer… just send her a text message. At least that way she can hear what we have to say without feeling like she has to respond."

Dean stared at me with a mild look of disgust.

"I swear, you're way too in tune with the female gender." He finally said.

I rolled my eyes and went back to packing up the car.

(Emily's POV)

"Dude, where are we? We're like 20 miles off course here."

"Will you chill out? We're fine. Stop fidgeting."

"I'm trying to fix my shirt thank you very much." I snapped as I pulled at my top, adjusting the V in the front so that it sits evenly across my cleavage.

"Don't worry they're front and center, I'm sure everyone will appreciate that, I certainly do." He winked.

"Ugh, you're a pig." I groaned as my eyes rolled.

My phone buzzed on the seat between us again. Dean stopped calling a couple of hours ago. I looked down and saw that I had a text message. I fiddled with the phone for a few minutes.

"Are we going to read it?"

"No WE are not. I will… later."

"Too afraid he'll guilt you into turning around?"

How does he see right through me like that?

"No." I quickly lied.

"Alright." He said leaning over me and grabbing a tie out of his glove box. "Blind fold yourself."

"What?!"

"Use the tie to make a blindfold."

"Hell no!"

"Emily, where is your sense of adventure?" He teased.

"Not sitting in the truck with a potential psycho!"

"Hey out of the two of us I'm much less likely going to be the psycho."

"Oh fuck you."

"C'mon just put it on!" He laughed.

"Fine." I groaned. I Begrudgingly tied the tie around my face, securing it so I could only see a very thin line at the bottom to make sure I won't trip if I have to walk.

"You better not cheat."

"I'm not a cheater." I sighed. "This is really ridiculous. We're never going to make it to Ohio if we keep taking detours."

"You're the worst road tripper in the world."

"I'm not a road tripper. I'm a hunter. When I have something to do, I do it."

"You're such a party pooper. You're 17, good looking, and sarcastic as hell. Why do you not have more fun in life?"

Because my life is like a never ending black hole of tragedy with fucked up twists and turns sprinkled into it like glitter.

"I am fun. You just annoy me."

"Yet you chose me to spend this trip with."

"Oh my god… are we there yet? This thing itches." I said pulling at the tie.

"Almost, don't pull it off." He said swatting at my hands.

We spent a couple more minutes on smooth straight roads. A stop light or two if I had to guess, but then we took a large turn to the right, and another to the left. The truck crawled before coming to a complete stop.

"Okay. Don't move. I'm gonna come around."

"Just hurry up."

He chuckled and I heard him climb out and shut his door, moments later my door swung open.

"Give me your hand."

"No. I can do it myself."

"Stop being stubborn and give me your hand."

"Fine." I grumbled. I reached out and he grabbed my hand. I jumped slightly, part of me wished he'd never let it go, the other part wished he would get this over with so I could get to Luke.

I carefully turned and jumped, using his hand to balance myself, he laid the other on my waist and this funny feeling hit my stomach. Once I was steady on the ground he led me away from the truck and shut the door.

"Okay, ready?" He asked excitedly as he stood behind me and held onto the tie.

"Yes." I sighed.

"Get happy grump." He said. "Okay, here goes."

He lifted the tie slowly and I had my eyes closed, once I opened them I gasped in excitement. We were standing in the parking lot of a Cheesecake Factory Restaurant. This place is top dollar and has the world's best cheesecake!

"Oh my god! I've been begging Dean for years to take me here!" I squealed. I turned and looked at him, he was smiling. "What are we doing here?!"

"Well. You didn't get your birthday cheesecake. And you said it's a tradition. So…"

"Wow. Judson. That is… this. Wow." I said looking back and forth between him and the large yellow building. "Thank you."

"Lets go eat. I'm starving." He said leading us inside. I was stunned. I couldn't believe he did this. It was… I don't even know. One of the nicest things he ever could have. I mean, he listened. He paid attention to what was said, and actually remembered it enough to use it to cheer me up. I'm… shocked. But. So happy.

When we walked in there was a large glass case and counter to the left. It was filled with different kinds of cheesecakes. Lots of colors, lots of flavors… oh the chocolate.

I was in awe.

"Whoa." I said looking at the prices. This was insane! Over 50 bucks for one cheesecake?!

"What?" Judson asked.

"Have you seen the prices on these things? I mean is this shit made of gold?"

"Why don't we find out?"

"You're kidding." I told him. Waiting for his sarcastic respone.

"Not in the least. Table for two please." He said as we approached the hostess. She led us over to the back of the section so that we were a few tables away from anyone else, giving us some privacy. They left us the wine list and menus, which by the way, if you thought the cheesecake was expensive… geez.

"So are we doing dinner and dessert or just dessert?" Judson asked.

"I'm down for whichever."

"Well its your birthday dinner, so you choose."

I smiled over at him.

"Thank you." I said softly. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

"I couldn't take riding around with your moping." He shrugged.

"Moodkiller." I said rolling my eyes.

"So? What's the verdict?"

"I'm thinking appetizers and desserts. I mean, fried mac n cheese balls? Calamari? How can a girl pass these things up?"

Judson laughed. "Sounds like a plan to me. What kind of cheesecake are you gonna get?"

"Hmmm…" I scanned the menu a few times. "Probably the oreo one."

"And?"

"And… what?" I asked confused.

"Well we didn't come all this way for you to try only one piece. I mean who knows when you'll get the chance to come back. Better take advantage while you can."

"So… what are we thinking? Two or three pieces?"

"You're thinking small here kid, I'm a little disappointed. I wanted to see how the bottomless pit thing worked." He challenged.

"Oh really?" I challenged back. "Spending limit?"

"None."

I smiled as the waiter came over to us.

"Hi, can we get the calamari, fried mac n cheese, and one slice of every cheesecake flavor on the menu, except anything with lemons, cinnamon, or the plain kind. Thanks."

The waiter looked a little dumbfounded before smiling and taking the menus from our hands.

"That poor guy looked like he was going to piss his pants." I said as he walked away.

"I think your ambition makes him nervous."

"It should. I can do amazing things." I said with a wink.

"Oh, I'm sure you can." He grinned deviously.

"You're as perverted as Dean is."

"Speaking of Dean. Are you going to open that message."

"No."

"Stop being an ass. Talk to your brother."

"No."

"Whatever it is you're only making it worse. Just get it over with. Rip off the band-aid."

"No."

"Are you always this stubborn?"

"Yes." I said with a smile. He glared at me.

"Fine! But, after dinner. Please. I don't want to ruin this."

"Deal." He said reaching out his hand and shaking on the matter.

"So you seem to want to know all about my business. But you never offer to share any of your own. So go on, spill." I told him as we munched on the calamari.

"There's not much to tell. My family died. My uncle taught me how to hunt, now I hunt. Life story summed up."

"Wow. Very descriptive."

Sounds so simple. I wish my life was as simple as that. I wish it was just, hey. My Mother died so I'm going to hunt things that kill mothers. That's it! Just hunt. No abilities, no demons, no bullshit.

"Yeah well, I'm not big on the details. I like to get straight to the point."

"Was it hard being a big brother?" I asked. Thinking about mine.

"How do you know I was a big brother and not a little one?" He asked curiously.

"Because I have two massive over protective brothers of my own. I recognize a big brother when I see one. You're protective. It's like a second nature. It's a big brother thing."

"No it wasn't hard. Not until she died. Then it was. Having to live with the fact that I couldn't save her, that I failed her."

"I'm sorry."

"It happened. You just. Learn to live with it. Move on."

I sat there. Chewing… wondering how in the hell I'd ever learn to live with Dean being in hell. The bite that was tempting and delicious only seconds ago, suddenly made me nauseous. I put down my fork and fidgeted with my hands.

"Emily." Judson said, watching me carefully. "What's wrong?"

I looked around the room, willing my eyes not to water. Begging them to pull back and control themselves like I was trying to do.

"So, what kind of cheesecake should we try first?" I asked plastering on the all too familiar fake smile.

"Why do you do that?"

"I think I'm going to try he strawberry first. I love strawberry. Then something with chocolate… then there was one that has an almond crust. That sounds good right?"

Judson sighed defeatedly.

"I want to try the salted caramel." He finally said. I smiled at him. We went back to picking at the appetizers waiting for the buffet of cheesecakes to make it to the table. Once they arrived they took up the entire table and they left the tray they used to carry them out, it was… almost too much. But can you ever have too much cheesecake?

"Okay. You go first." I said excitedly. He chuckled before lifting his fork and diving into the salted caramel. I watched him carefully as he slowly chewed, enjoying the piece thoroughly.

"Okay. Try it. It'll change your life." He said turning the plate towards me. I nodded and dove my fork in, taking a huge bite.

"OH. MY. GOODNESS." I said slowly, savoring the amazing blend of flavors in my mouth. "I have to try every single freaking one of these."

Judson laughed and waved his hand. "Be my guest."

I dug into piece after piece. Not finishing any of them, but taking a good bite or two. Maybe more if the piece was amazingly delicious, which most of them were. Judson laughed at my ambition and picked out a few to try himself… an hour later. I could barely move, let alone lift the fork for another bite.

"You're not going to puke in my truck are you?" Judson asked as the waiter came and picked up the bill.

"No. No… the pit holds all it's captives hostage until death." I mumbled, laying back with closed eyes.

"So, was it worth it?"

"Ten times over." I giggled. "Thank you again… I can help with the ta-"

"No. You can't. It's your birthday dinner. You're not paying."

"Dude. This is a lot of fucking food. Expensive food."

"Are you saying I look poor?" He said with mild offense.

"No! Geez. Don't take it like that."

"Well then allow me to buy you dinner without questioning my billfold."

"Fine." I said with my hands up in surrender as I sank down into the seat.

"Think you can walk back to the truck?" He said standing, holding out his hand to help me up. I waved him off.

"I'm not pregnant. I've just got a food baby in here." I said as I stood and rubbed my bloated belly. He rolled his eyes and led us out the door. It took an extra step or two to climb up into the truck, all of which was spent with Judson laughing at me.

"Alright." He said as he climbed in. "Should we bunker down for the night? I can grab us a room, we can sleep and drive the rest of the way tomorrow, be there by tomorrow night."

"No. I think we should drive through the night. I can drive if I need to." I quickly said. I don't want to try and sleep without either of my brothers there… I don't want any more nightmares. If I'm going to get any rest at all it'll be while we're driving.

"Why?"

"Please." I said with puppy dog eyes. He scoffed.

"Man you're high maintenance."

"I am NOT high maintenance. I just… don't want to sleep right now."

"Nightmares?"

You have no idea…

"I just don't want to. Okay? So if I start dozing off wake me up."

"Fine… you know if you're just going to be sitting there then you might as well read Dean's text. Figure out what you're going to say back. You've got a solid 18 hours to think about it."

"Why are you so worried about what I'm going to say to MY brother? You don't even know what's going on."

"Well. I might if a certain person wasn't so uptight and mysterious."

"Oh first I'm high maintenance and now I'm uptight? Wow. You're on a roll." I said sarcastically.

"Just read the damn message."

"I will! Just shut up and drive!"

He shook his head at me and I rolled my eyes, pulling up my knees and turning towards the door to stare out the window as we drove back onto the highway. It was dark, and the lights of the city sparkled through the trees. I watched until we were so far out that you couldn't see the lights anymore… then, I picked up my phone.

Dean: Babygirl, I know what you heard and I know what you're thinking. I'm scared too. I wish there was another way. I don't want to leave you, but this is what I had to do. I told you from the beginning to use this time to accept it, prepare yourself. I didn't want your hopes up. I'm so sorry babygirl… I know I hurt you. But please. You're the only one who never left me. Don't leave me now. I love you.

I shut the phone and set it down on the seat behind me, turning myself further towards the door and away from Judson. I bit down on my lip hard enough to draw blood. Willing myself not to fall apart right now. Not to show weakness. Not to cry in front of him. Not him…

But how am I supposed to respond to that? What could I say?

I just want to be in Luke's arms. I want to go back to the one place I was truly happy before my entire life fell apart. I want to go back and pretend things aren't as horrible as they are. I just want to forget all of this… I just want life to be different.

As discreetly as I possibly could I wiped a stray tear, hoping he wouldn't notice. I got even more frustrated as my nose began to run and tried to cover my sniffle with a cough, but I wasn't sure it worked.

Judson leaned forward and turned on the radio. Turning it up loud enough to drown out any sound I could make. I wanted to turn around and thank him, but I couldn't move. My shoulder shook for only a moment as a muffled sob escaped me. I readjusted and bit down on my lip again. Rocking back and forth slightly as the music played.

My eyes slowly began to close.

" _Emily!" Dean's voice cried out to me. "Emily! Help me!"_

 _Back in the same house… in the same room._

 _Hellhounds barking, growling… ripping something apart._

" _DEAN!" I yelled, looking for him as I ran, as fast and as hard as I could. Looking for him. Trying to save him. Dammit! Why can't I find him!_

" _Emily!" He cried out in pain._

" _Dean!" I sobbed as I spun, opening door after door as I looked for him. Drenched in sweat, my hands covered in blood._

 _More barking, I followed the sound at a sprint, before coming to a set of wooden locked doors. I pulled and shoved, trying to break them open. Dean's voice screamed out in pain from the other side. Everything in me jolted and I ripped the door open. Once inside I found Dean lying on the ground, blood and flesh being ripped away from him as he choked._

" _NO! DEAN!"_

A hand on my shoulder shook me and I jumped, banging my knee on the dashboard in my panic.

"Whoa! Whoa.. you're okay!" Someone said but all I could do was look around me in search of Dean. After a moment I realized I was in Judson's truck… the voice. It was his. The radio was buzzing, the lights were flashing, the windshield wipers were going haywire. Judson's face was panicked as he looked between me and the truck.

"Stop! Stop!" I cried as I struggled to open the door. He ripped the truck to the right and slammed on the breaks, barely stopping before I jumped out. Walking towards the empty field on the side of the road. Trying to catch my breath that was coming rapid and short.

"Emily! Emily wait where are you going?" Judson called as he chased after me.

"I just. I just need a minute! Please. Just… go back!"

"Emily slow down, wait a second." He said still pushing towards me. I stopped and bent over, gripping my knees as I drew in large breaths. Begging to stop this before a panic attack ensued.

"Damn girl. You're fast." He said out of breath as he caught up next to me. I didn't reply. "Emily. Talk to me, I mean one second you were asleep and the next my truck was having a meltdown."

"I told you not to let me fall asleep!" I yelled angrily, turning and standing to face him. He looked at me in disbelief.

"Are you serious right now? You're blaming this on me?!"

"YES!"

"Fine! Its all my fucking fault!" He said throwing his hands up in the air and walking away. "You can walk your grumpy ass to Ohio."

"Wait… I'm sorry." I said. He stopped and turned back around.

"Look. I know we haven't known each other for long, and you don't owe me anything, okay? But… whatever you're bottling up in there. It's eating at you. I don't know a whole hell of a lot about the world, but I know what it's like to grieve. It's a process. A long hard one, and sometimes you need help. Why won't you just talk to me?"

Because you would think I was pathetic.

Because you would think I was a cry baby.

Because you would run for the hills to get away from me.

Because you would know how truly fucked up I was.

"Because I can't." I whispered. "I'm sorry about your truck. I'll pay if I messed anything up."

"The truck is fine." He scoffed. "But you're not."

"I will be. I just. I need to get to Ohio. Please." I begged quietly.

He stared at me. Not responding. Not blinking. Almost like he was trying to read my mind. It was intense, his eyes. So green. Like emeralds. Bored into mine and made me feel slightly weak at the knees.

He took two steps forward and closed the distance between us, I flinched as he reached up to touch me. He hesitated, but then slowly raised his hand again, pushing my hair out of my face, the sweat causing it to stick slightly. He pinned the loose hair behind my ear. I closed my eyes and let out the breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

"I'm not going to hurt you Emily."

You don't know that.

"Yeah. I know." I lied.

"Come on, we've still got 9 hours to go." He said softly. It wasn't until then I noticed, it was no longer pitch dark outside, but the sun was barely present in the cloudy sky.

"I was out for 9 hours?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah, all of which were filled with a mix of your snoring and your phone ringing. Dean called another 10 million times."

"Great." I sighed. I started back towards the truck, Judson following behind me. We stopped at the next gas station for a bathroom break and some drinks. Breakfast for him… I still didn't have an appetite after last night.

"Okay, we'll be hitting Halltown at about 2 this afternoon. You should probably toss the heads up to whoever it is we're going to see."

"How do you know it's a someone?" I challenged.

"Intuition." He smirked. "So uh, the nightmare… have something to do with Dean's message last night?"

"Yeah." I admitted with a sigh. No sense in lying about that. I think it was pretty obvious.

"What did you hear that upset you so much you had to run away from them?" He asked boldly. I turned and looked at him in shock.

"Did you read my texts?!"

"Well. I told you I was curious! You were passed out. The phone kept buzzing… don't look at me like that!"

"I can't believe you got into my fucking phone and read through my messages! That was so rude!"

"Well, you shouldn't ask people to drive you across the country and not give them a reason why. That's pretty rude too don't you think?"

"Ugh! You're un fucking believable! You know that?"

"Well I have heard that before… usually its right before the women climb out of the bed and put on their clothes."

"Oh god… I think I just puked a little."

"Trust me, you'd say those first two words again… and again… an-"

"OH shut up! I get it!"

Judson laughed and turned up the music. I pulled out my sunglasses and leaned against the seat. Sipping at my water bottle.

(Sam's POV)

"No Bobby…" Dean sighed. "We didn't get into a fight. She just… got upset when she saw me talking to Ruby… about hell... Well I don't know Bobby!"

"Gimme the phone." I told him reaching out my hand. Dean rolled his eyes before slapping it into my hand.

"Hey Bobby its Sam, listen do you have that Judson kids number? We think he may have given her a lift to wherever she took off to."

"Well if Judson went with her I don't see him dropping her off no place. He's gotta know the three of us would have his ass for leaving her alone." Bobby grumbled.

"Well, if we can track him down then maybe we can track her down too."

"She isn't taking calls from you either boy?"

"No Bobby… she's off the grid. Something's really got her going this time."

"Well. I'll keep trying to call, I'll call Judson too, when I send you boys his number don't go blowing up his phone. Or she'll catch on and leave him too. Control your brother over there."

I looked over to Dean, who for the last 18 hours had a look of pure panic plastered on his face.

"I'll do my best Bobby."

"Yeah. I know… he's a wreck. Alright boy, you two stay sharp. We'll find her."

"Thanks Bobby."

I snapped the phone shut and handed it back to Dean.

"Jo said she hasn't heard from her in weeks. Ellen either. Bobby hasn't seen her.." He began to run down the list of contacts.

"Dean, we gotta keep calm about this. She's probably with Judson, Bobby agreed there's no way in hell he'd risk leaving her alone. You've trusted him to keep her safe before, trust him now. We'll find her."

"Why the hell are you so calm about this?! Emily is gone! We have NO idea where she is! There's no note! There's no tracks! There's no kidnapping demon… yet! I mean she could be anywhere!"

Dean's mention of the note made the wheels in my head turn.

"Dean. How far away from Ohio are we?"

"I don't know!" He yelled exasperated. "Why the hell do I care?"

"Dean. Stop freaking out and think. Who's in Ohio?"

He shook his head and rolled his eyes, then he got very quiet. He suddenly flicked his head back to face me. A look of disbelief on his face.

"She wouldn't…"

"Oh I think she would. She's done it before."

"She hasn't talked about that guy in months!"

"Yeah, because right after we left I died, you made the deal, and ever since then she's been worried about us."

"Dammit." Dean grumbled, turning the car around and heading towards Ohio. If that is where she went, she's got about 12 hours on us. I really hope she wasn't stupid enough to go back there, to get Luke mixed into all this again. But at the same time I'm praying she's there so that I at least know she's safe.

(Emily's POV)

The closer we got the more ancy I became. I fidgeted, tapped my foot, chewed on my nails- that is until Judson grabbed my hand and pulled it away from my mouth. Subconsciously I moved closer to him on the seat. I didn't realize it until I was situated against his hip.

"Emily." He said softly.

"Huh?"

"You uh, you cold or something?"

"No?" I said confused.

"Because if you come any closer you'll be in my lap."

I looked down and realized I practically was sitting in his lap.

"Sorry." I said scooting over. "Nerves."

"Care to elaborate?... Wait. No. I forgot. You don't tell any of your secrets."

"Okay, I'm gonna scoot back over now." I said shakily as we crossed the city limit sign for Halltown, I placed myself right up against him. Only for the sake of the comfort that I wasn't alone.

"Emily, you begged me to get you here. Don't chicken out now on whatever this is. We came too far. And the gas bill on this truck is ridiculous."

I shook my head without saying anything. I started fidgeting with my hands again but he slapped them lightly and shot me a warning look. I separated my hands. The one on the right slid under my leg, the one to the left took in a small handful of the bottom of his shirt and began lightly twisting it.

He didn't notice for the first minute or two, but when he did he grabbed my hand and laid it out flat on my knee, placing his on top of it to keep it still. I scratched my nails lightly against the denim, unable to keep still for even a moment.

I don't know why the hell I'm so nervous.

Maybe because I haven't spoken to Luke in months.

Maybe because I'm showing up out of nowhere.

He might hate me.

He might not remember me.

He might tell me to leave.

But even worse… he may love me still, and I'll only be hurting both of us all over again.

"Okay. So we're in town? Where are we going."

"What time is it?"

"Um, 2ish."

"Motel. I gotta change."

"Any motel? Or do you have a preference."

"The first one in the phone book. Just in case."

"Incase what? In case your brothers come looking for you?"

"…Just go to the damn motel." I sighed, leaning my head back and tapping my foot again.

"Girl you gotta chill. You're starting to put me on edge."

"I'm sorry. I just… I don't know."

Judson pulled the truck into the parking lot of the first motel we came across. Putting it in park and turning to face me.

"Look at me."

I sighed and turned, not realizing his face was only a few inches from mine. I froze.

"I'm here. I'm not letting anything bad happen to you. So whatever you're freaking out about in that head of yours, stop." He placed his hand under my chin and tilted it up a little. "You're starting to get on my nerves."

How can he be so sweet and such an ass all at the same time. Either way his pep talk did the trick. I felt all the shakiness in my limbs grow calm. A sense of peace hit me. I nodded lightly and he released me. We climbed out and grabbed a room. I immediately went to change.

I dug through my bag, shirt after shirt after shirt didn't seem good enough. I put on my sparkly jeans and finally settled on a black tank with an olive green button up I'd stolen from Dean. It makes the brown in my eyes pop. I pulled out my make up bag and started digging through it for some eyeliner. It took me a while but I finally pulled some even wings and dabbed on some mascara. A little blush and some dark lip gloss set the look as casual but sexy. I sighed as I stared at myself in the mirror.

I looked so different from the last time I saw him. Will he even recognize me? Will he still think I'm beautiful? Or is going to see right through all the sleepless nights, all the weight I dropped, how my curves don't fill my jeans the same way they once did.

Is he going to be interested in damaged goods?

…What would he think if he found out about my abilities? Would he be afraid of me? Hate me.

I felt my nerves picking back up. I paced around the bathroom and began to place the things back into the small bag. Something small and black caught my eye. The pill bottle.

I reached out and grabbed it. Opening and spilling a few out into my hand. Maybe that doc was right. If I'm going to do this… maybe I need help.

Maybe they can help.

I broke one of the small white pills in half and used my hand as a cup to drink from the faucet. Here goes nothing…

I put everything away, giving my hair one final lift at the roots with my hands. I walked out of the bathroom and found Judson laid against the headboard watching TV.

"Well." He said looking me up and down appreciatively. "We definitely came to see a someone didn't we?" He asked with tight eyes.

"Can I drive your truck over to the school please?"

"No."

"What? Why?"

"You lost your driving privileges when you hot wired my truck. I can drive you to the school."

"I really don't think that's necessary." I said nervously. Facing Luke is scary enough. Facing Luke with Judson watching… I don't even want to imagine how uncomfortable I'd be.

"Hey. Its up to you. Go to the school and see whoever this mystery person is. Or sit here and watch Beverly Hills 90210 re-runs all afternoon."

"Fine." I sighed. "But I don't want to hear a word out of you!"

"We'll see." He shrugged as he followed me out the door.

The motel was only a few minutes away from the school. It was almost 3. Almost time for the final bell if I remember correctly. We parked on the street in front of the main parking lot. My eyes scanned for the big black Chevy I'd become so fond of. Once I spotted it my heart sped up.

My eyes almost watered at the sight.

I was really here! He's really here! I just want to be in his arms.

The bell rang and snapped me out of my daze. I stood carefully watching the parking lot as people began to flow out of the building. Judson stood behind me. Aviators and a leather jacket on, leaning against the truck. If I wasn't preoccupied at the moment I might have had to take a second look to make sure I properly remembered this moment and how amazing he looked. BUT.

I'm here for Luke.

The parking lot began to fill with faces, some I slightly remembered. Some were all new. None seemed to really pay attention to Judson or I. Other than some of the girls eyeing him. I looked back and forth between the building and Luke's truck. Waiting for any sight of him.

Blue jerseys moved closer in our direction. My heart leaped and increased its pace. I watched one after the other as they appeared, waiting to see that long flowy hair. At the very back of the line a tall handsome guy with slightly shorter hair then I remembered appeared.

"Luke." I whispered. Everything in me felt immense joy, but at the same time this overwhelming flood of emotion. I put my hand to my face to hold myself back. Taking slow steps towards him, he hadn't yet noticed I was there.

I quickened my pace and was fixing to break out into a slow jog when the world stopped. I stopped.

He tossed his backpack in the truck as the beautiful red headed girl leaped into his arms. He twirled her around and around, causing her giggles to float over to me. Instead of immense joy I felt pain… I felt embarrassment.

What the hell was I doing here?! What the hell was I thinking. I watched him place his lips against hers and deepen the kiss only seconds after it began. Everything in me turned to flight mode. I turned back, arms crossed, eyes glued to the ground and quickly made my way back to the truck. Back to Judson who stood and watched the entire scene unfold before him.

I only thought I was embarrassed before I realized he had seen it all.

Now I was truly mortified.

Once close to the truck I jogged around the back and climbed into the passenger seat.

"Can we go back to the motel please?"

"What?!" Judson asked from outside the open driver's window. "We just got here."

"Please, take me back." I said with an even steady voice. Refusing to let myself portray any emotion.

"Emily you gotta at least say something to the guy!"

"I can't!" I snapped. "Okay! I can't… this. This was a mistake. Please. Just. Take me back to the motel."

Judson sighed and climbed into the truck, starting the engine and backing out of his parking spot. For a moment we were facing Luke and the redhead. Straight on. Like watching my heart get stomped on at a drive in movie. Judson paused before putting the truck in drive.

"Emily I-"

"Don't. Please." I whispered. One tear making its escape before I could stop it. Judson put the truck in drive and pulled away. My eyes stayed glued to Luke… and for a second. He looked back.

I quickly turned away and forced myself to look straight ahead at the road. Praying no one else from the town recognized me. Praying that Luke didn't recognize me.

How could I have been so stupid. Why did I do this to myself? I should have known he would find someone else. He's hot. He's nice. He was bound to find someone else. It's been months… I don't know what I was expecting.

Judson didn't push anything else until we were back at the motel. He parked and I went to open the door. He leaned across me and shut it before I could move.

"We did not come all this way for you to turn around and leave without coming here and at least talking to the guy. Don't you owe yourself that much?"

I scoffed. Don't I owe myself that… I owe myself nothing. This was my fault.

"You saw him." I turned and said. "I'm not fixing to step in and fuck with his life all over again. I owe HIM that much. It was stupid to think I'd come here, and he'd just be here… waiting."

I shook my head, opening the door and climbing out of the truck. I quickly pulled the room key and went inside. Bending down to the pathetic excuse for a mini bar.

"Em come on, don't do this." Judson said as he jogged to follow in behind me.

"Do what?! Be honest with myself? Face up to the truth? What is it you want me to do here? Barge in and ruin his relationship with this girl? Risk getting him killed for the third time now?! I mean what the fuck did I actually expect?"

I shook my head and laughed slightly out of disbelief. Judson watched me, I looked up to him and instantly recognized the look of pity. I'd been getting it for months from my brothers. From Bobby..

"Don't look at me like that. It makes me sick to my stomach."

I turned and walked towards the bathroom.

"Like what?" He asked defensively.

"Like you feel bad for me! Like you just watched me humiliate myself and now you feel bad about it… Like you watch how fucked my life is. Like you see right through all the bullshit I try to hide it! Just. I don't need your pity! I needed a ride, and I appreciate the ride. There's 200 bucks in my wallet." I said as I tossed it to him. "That should cover the room and half the gas I'll pay you the rest later. You can leave now." I turned and began walking back towards the bathroom.

"Yeah, right! Like I'm going to leave you here alone. Your brothers would skin me alive if I just ran off."

"Well I don't want you here so find someplace else to go."

"Oh come on! This is fucking ridiculous! SO what. The guy has a girlfriend! Life isn't over! You come into a situation and when it's not exactly what you wanted it to be you just walk away from it! You don't put any effort into fixing it, but you're more than happy to go cry about it. That's just. Brilliant. You obviously have life figured out don't you?!"

"Fuck you!"

"Well I wish you would so I could get something out of this whole ridiculous trip! We use MY truck, My money, My time… and for what?! So I can watch you mope around over some ex boyfriend? I mean is this really why we drove half way across the fucking country? For some dumb ass hick who obviously has questionable taste in women?"

"Shut up!" I yelled. His words stung. Like ten thousand bees all at once. The room rumbled and pictures fell to the ground.

"No! I think I've watched enough of your hissy fits I've earned the right to throw one of my own! Don't you think?!" He said picking up the coffee pot and smashing it into the ground. I jumped as the glass shattered and flew across the room.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself!" I yelled as I took the final steps into the bathroom. Slamming the door behind me and kicking it. Again. And again…. And again… and again.

I stopped to catch my breath, letting a few tears fall down my face… everything was so wrong. None of this was supposed to happen. None of it.

Not Luke.

Not Judson.

Not me fucking everything up.

I hated myself.

I hated everything about how pathetic I'd become. I hated everything about how I'd changed. From the way that I looked to the way that I felt. I hated it. I hated it all. I hated that he saw right through me. I hated the things he said about me. I hated the way Luke smiled when he looked at her. I hated that she had her hands. Her lips. On MY Luke…

I hated everything about this day. I wish I had never come here. I wish I had just taken off on my own and never gotten Judson involved! I wish I never talked to him at that stupid bar! I wish I realized then and there that he was an asshole and nothing would change that! I wish I didn't let myself think for even a minute that he truly cared about me.

I stood there staring at the door. Every second spent debating on calling Dean to come and get me. To get me as far away from here as humanly possible. To make everything alright.

But every time I stopped myself. Things weren't alright, and no matter what Dean had to say they wouldn't be. Words won't change the situation.

*Knock Knock*

The noise made me jump.

"I'm sorry. I guess I uh. Got a little carried away." Judson said, trying to down play the situation.

"Go away." I said loudly, trying to hide the pain in my voice.

"Emily come on, open the door." He said as he shook the handles.

"Why so you can judge me some more? Call me out about how pathetic I am!" I shouted.

"Em please. I shouldn't have said what I said. I didn't mean any of it. I was just pissed off. Just. Open the door and talk to me."

The last thing I wanted to do was tell him anything else about me or my life. So I didn't answer him. I wasn't going to cry to him. Not after what he said.

"Please come out, or I'm going to pick the lock and come in."

I splashed cold water on my face. Trying to dull some of the redness. I opened the door and ducked to walk under the arm he propped against the door. The moment I did he turned and grabbed my arm. I ripped it away from his grip.

"Emily stop. You've shut me out this entire time. Just… tell me what's going on! Please! For once. Tell me what's in your head."

I ignored him and grabbed my bag. Shoving all my stuff into it. Without a word I zipped it up and began walking towards the door. Swinging it open quickly.

"Emily! Stop, I'm not just going to let you go off on your own." He said yanking on the bag that was hung over my shoulder. It pulled me backwards.

"Why do you care!" I yelled fighting to get my bag back, but he just used it to pull me closer to him.

"Because I do!" I felt everything in me go ice cold as he stared at me. I couldn't move. "Dammit Emily… stop running from everything. Stop hiding from me. Just. Let me in." He whispered.

I dropped my face and my bottom lip quivered. I bit down to stop it.

"I can't." I whispered, not looking at him.

"Why?"

"Because then you can see how fucked up I really am… and you'll leave." I told him honestly, my voice cracking on the last word. I dropped my grip on the bag, and then so did he. I was too scared to look up. Find more pity written on his face. I wish he'd just leave. Just go now, so I don't have to wait. So I won't hold my breath… Just go.

"Emily, I'm here. I don't know why I let you drag me out here. I don't know why I care, okay? But I do, and nothing you could say would scare me off. In case you forgot I lived through tragedy. Been there done that. There's nothing flying through that head of yours that I can't take. So stop shutting me out. Stop pushing me away. Just. Talk to me."

I nodded slightly without looking up. Judson moved closer to me and before I realized what was happening his arms were around me. His chin resting on my head. I took handfuls of his shirt and held as tightly as I could. I took in a deep breath and held it. His hands ran up and down the length of my back, soothing my tense muscles.

I don't know why I felt safe when I was with Judson.

I don't know why my head fit perfectly against the curve of his chest.

I don't know why I never wanted him to let me go.

I slowly let out that same breath.

"Dean made a deal…" I whispered. Once I began talking his hands grew still, just holding me. My shoulders shook as I gave way to the tears that had been fighting their way to the surface for the last day. Judson's grip on me tightened and he pushed me against him until my entire body laid against his. His hands moved upward and one of them wove its way into my hair, gently rubbing my scalp with his fingers. He didn't say a word. He just held me as I finally began to cry.

"I can't save him." I cried as my hands pulled tighter against his shirt. "I don't know what to do… I can't lose him."

"I know." He whispered back, his head ducking down to where his lips were against my ear. He pulled my face away from his chest and gently rubbed his thumb down my cheek and over my slightly parted lips. Leaving it on my chin.

"Emily?" A voice from the still open doorway caught our attention.

"Luke." I whispered. Judson's hands slowly dropped. I stood froze, my eyes falling into blue rivers.

"Emily what are you doing here? Who is he?"

"I'm just a friend." Judson quickly answered. I don't know why that made me feel disappointed. But it did. I walked away from Judson and towards Luke. Who still looked as amazing as he did the day I left him.

"Luke…" I swallowed. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here."

"But you did. Why?" He asked confused.

"I… I just. I'm sorry. I didn't know where else to go."

"Why what's wrong? What happened to you? You look like hell." Luke asked as he stepped forward, looking me up and down. He reached out and put his hand on my arm. The feel of his skin on mine. It was like electricity. Instantly I was drawn to him again. My lips crashed against his and even though for a split second he hesitated he returned the urgency.

I pushed for more. Wrapping my arms around his neck and running my hands through that flowy hair of his. Gripping his dark dirty blonde locks. He began to pull away and I held tighter, but it wasn't enough. He pushed me off of him.

"Emily what the hells going on here?" He asked out of breath. I tried to catch my breath too, but it was coming faster, and I looked between Judson and Luke and I don't know why but all of a sudden this rush of panic fell over me.

"Emily baby what's wrong?" Luke asked grabbing my face with both hands. My eyes flew to Judson who's face reflected the same worry. He moved closer to us.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to come here and and and- ruin things for you. And… she's so pretty and. I-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Emily take a breath." Judson said as he stepped forward.

"Em baby its fine. I promise. Its okay… you're okay." Luke said as he kissed me again. Short soft kisses, one after another on my face. He hugged me tightly, but my eyes stayed locked on Judson. Who never tore his gaze away from mine.

"Hey, why don't we go somewhere? Huh? Just you and me… I missed you.. So much." He whispered. I nodded and pulled back.

"Yeah. Uh. I'll meet you outside in a second." I smiled softly. He turned and glanced at Judson before leaving the room.

"Judson." I sighed. "I'll be back in a few hours. Okay?"

"Yeah. Sure." He said as he watched me carefully. "But we're not done talking."

"Actually… I kinda think I'd like that." I whispered. I walked forward and hugged him. He hugged me back briefly.

"You better get going, or lover boy might get suspicious out there."

I laughed briefly. But I didn't want to let him go…

"Emily." He said after a moment longer of me hanging onto him. "Are you sure about all this? I mean. You seem a little a little nervous about taking off with him. I can tail you two if you want me to."

"No." I mumbled against him. "I'll be fine… I promise. He's a good guy. I'm in safe hands."

"Okay… then why are you still standing here."

I don't know. So I didn't answer him.

"Emily." Judson whispered.

"Yeah. I uh. I'm going." I said finally letting him go. I walked quickly out the door, shutting it behind me. I smiled as I found Luke standing in front of his truck. Looking sexy as hell. I walked over to him with a large grin.

"So where to?" I pushed my arms inside of his jacket, wrapping them around him.

"Where do you want to go?"

"…You still have the most comfortable bed in the world?"

"I do." He laughed. "And my mom's pulling a double and dad is on a business trip."

Something that I hadn't felt in a long time stirred from within me. The thought of me and him alone. IN a bed… Its like I could taste him just thinking about it.

"What are we waiting for?" I asked. We climbed into the truck and began driving through town. I missed this simple place. I missed how easy things were here. We drove past a group of kids from the school and I suddenly remembered the girl from the parking lot.

"So. Who is she?" I asked.

"Her name's Mary Ann. She uh, she moved her a couple of months ago."

"How long have you guys been dating…"

"Only a couple of weeks. Its not serious."

"You know its okay if it is serious. I didn't. I didn't expect you to not move on. I wanted you to be happy Luke."

"I know, its just… been hard."

"You mean changing your number the day after I left? Yeah. That was pretty hard." I said feeling a bit of anger slip out in my tone.

Luke sighed deeply.

"Pete called my mother when I was missing. When I came home she and the police were sitting in the kitchen. I told her I was with you… she threw my phone down the garbage disposal and cost us a $400 plumbing bill. She handed me a new one, new number. I promise Emily. I never would have done that to you. I never would have just cut you off… I. I still wanted to work things out."

"Yeah… I did too."

We pulled up into the familiar driveway. Into the large beautiful house, stopping to pet the same precious dog as last time. Then he led me back into the room with the most comfortable bed I've ever laid on. He kicked off his shoes and I did the same. Pulling off the button up and Jeans, leaving me in my tank and boy short underwear… Its not like its nothing he hasn't seen before. He stripped down to basketball shorts and we both buried ourselves under the comforter. His skin on my skin.

"Emily… what's wrong." Luke asked softly as he ran his fingertips along my waist.

"Everything." I said, my eyes betraying me again. Luke reached up and wiped away the few strays as they smeared my mascara.

"You know I would never say anything to hurt you… but you look rough baby. You're thinner, and. You're pale… your eyes. They're not bright like they were. Something happened to you… and I wasn't there for you."

I moved closer to him, our legs intertwining. My arms wound around his neck and his wound around my body, his fingertips now trailed over my hip and down my thigh. The motion sent shivers to the deepest and most intimate parts of my body.

"Em baby, tell me what happened."

I sighed.

"Sam… Sam died."

Luke instantly pulled back, putting us face to face. Making sure he could watch me as we talked. I laid back against the pillow, he positioned himself to hover over me.

"Emily… I can't. I'm so sorry. I know how much your brother's mean to you, how close you are."

"Well… It gets better." I whispered. "When Sam died… it was really bad. For both Dean and I. It was a really dark few days. And uh… Dean. He. He made a deal with a demon. A deal to bring Sam back." I paused and looked up to Luke to make sure he was following. His ocean blue eyes stayed glued to mine. Not blinking. Not pulling away, not showing any reaction. Just listening.

"He sold his soul to save Sam. In three months he'll be dragged into hell."

"Oh god… babe. I. I don't know what to say." He said as he wiped away the increasing amount of tears that simply insisted on ruining my perfectly winged eyeliner.

"I've tried so hard… So hard. But I can't find a way to save him." I cried. "I don't know what I'm gonna do… I need him Luke."

"Babe… I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say…" He just continued to wipe my eyes and brush the hair from my face as I cried.

"I'm sorry… I didn't want to come here and lay all this on you. I don't even know why I'm dragging you back into all this. Messing with your life."

"Baby don't do that. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you wanted to come to me."

"I just. Wanted to go back to a place where I was happy. Before all this bullshit. And you always made me happy. I didn't know where else to go. I just… We fought so hard to find a way to save him. And there's nothing. And I panicked. I just wanted to forget it all."

Luke didn't respond. He knew there was nothing he could say… I knew it too. But just being in this bed with him made it easier to talk. To get this all off my chest. Having him hold me. Kiss me. Touch me.

He bent down and placed his lips on mine gently, then deepened the kiss. I melted like putty in his hands. Anything he wanted at this moment I would concede. My body beckoned for him… I flipped him to where I straddled him as he laid down against the bed. He bent one leg slightly, just enough for me to grind against his leg as I leaned down to kiss him again.

"Mmm… god I missed you."

I let go of everything that was weighing me down. I let go of everything that made me want to ball my eyes out. I let go of all the pain. All the rage. All the fear… in this moment only he and I existed.

Right now in this moment the only thing that mattered was feeling his body on mine.

His hands ran up and down the length of my body, pulling at the sides of my underwear every time he touched them until he eventually pulled them down and took them off, he followed with his shorts. I trailed my kisses down his face and onto his neck… then down his body. Pulling at his boxers with my teeth.

"Emily." He moaned. The noise only excited me more. Intensified my need to feel him. I reached down and stroked him, up and down. Over and over again.

Out of nowhere he grabbed my hips and pulled me forward. Showing me how bad he wanted this too. I sat up straight and pulled off my tank, leaving my lacy black bra exposed. He traced the edges of it before snapping it loose and tossing it into the floor.

There were no nerves. No fear. No worry of being caught.

There was just pure animalistic hunger. A drive to feel him inside of me. He bucked his hips and rubbed against the most sensitive parts of my body with the most sensitive parts of his. His thin boxers were the only thing that separated us. His hands reached up and ravished my chest, causing me to moan. I reached down and pulled his boxers off, straddling him as he lowered my body against his.

I gasped at the short lived sharp pain. I guess that happens when you go so long without any action. I lifted and he pulled me back down, further and further with each strike.

He sat up and flipped us, laying me flat against the bed. My legs wrapped his body, allowing him to go as deep as possible. We started slow, letting the tempo increase itself as our needs increased.

I never wanted to rush this. I never wanted this to end… I never wanted to forget the way he made me feel. How everything else disappeared when we made love.

(Sam's POV)

"I'm calling him again."

"Dean. He didn't answer the first 10 times. He didn't answer Bobby. Why would he answer you now?"

"I don't know man… I just. I gotta try something. I'm crazy over here."

I sighed and went back to driving. I demanded Dean switch me when he nearly ran us into oncoming traffic trying to call Emily for the millionth time. We were 6 hours out from Ohio. If she's there. We're going to find her. Judson's truck is pretty obvious… and if we're not looking for Judson's then we're looking for Luke's. So either way we just need to find a big ass truck and see if there's a brunette riding shotgun.

"Hello? Judson?" Dean's frantic voice pulled me back to reality.

"Put it on speaker." I told him. Dean pulled the phone away from his ear and pressed the button before leaning towards me so we could both clearly hear.

"You're insane you know that? I mean between you and Bobby I have over a dozen missed calls." Judson's irritated voice filled the car. I watched Dean's frustration grow.

"Are you with her or not man?!" He yelled.

"At the current moment no. I'm not, which is why I was able to answer. If she finds out we're talking she'll take off on me too you know."

Thank God… She's okay.

"Where is she?"

"Someone named Luke. Showed up. Swept her off her feet and left a couple hours ago."

Dean shot me a curious look. I knew she'd run to him… at least we're headed in the right direction. At least we know she's safe. I watched Dean visibly relax some in his seat.

"Man what the hell were you thinking taking off with her like that?"

"Hey don't chew my ass! She ran off cause of you. Went around the corner to find you and when she came back she was freaked, it was either I went with her or she took off on her own. You really rather her hop form bus stop to bus stop alone out there? I went to keep her ass safe."

"Just. Dammit… keep track of her for another six hours. We're on our way."

"And what happens when you get here and she takes off again?" He challenged. Dean didn't respond.

"Just watch her." I said into the phone before Dean hung it up.

"Well… I guess you were right Sammy." Dean sighed. "She ran straight to him. Although I still think its kinda awkward she had Judson take her."

"Yeah." I agreed. "He didn't sound so happy that she took off with Luke. Jealous you think?"

"Kinda sounds like it."

"Dean. He's right. What's to stop her from just taking off again? I mean… she may not want to come back."

"NO." Dean quickly said. "We're not doing this. We're not playing games. This is a FAMILY. You don't leave family. Emily wouldn't do that."

"Dean you're doing that!" I yelled in frustration. "Don't you get it?! That's how she feels about all this… that YOU are the one leaving."

"Sam this is different! I had no choice!"

"Oh you had choices Dean!"

"None that were acceptable! I had to do what I did to save you and I don't regret it for a second!"

I shook my head angrily.

"What part of yours and Ruby's conversation upset her so much that she took off…" I asked. Knowing he had kept it from me once already.

"I don't know." He lied.

(Emily's POV)

I laid on my stomach, hugging one of the pillows as my body recuperated. Luke lazily slung his arm over me and ran his hands up and down my back. We both dozed in and out of sleep for a few minutes. I felt more rested with just those few minutes of dozing than I had felt with hours of sleep recently.

When I closed my eyes I didn't fear nightmares. I didn't fear waking up, having another day pass with Dean's head still on the chopping block.

For months every time I watched the sun come up my heart would sink a little lower.

"Hey." Luke whispered.

I opened my eyes and focused on him.

"What does this mean for us?"

"… I don't know." I said honestly. "I mean its not like things have changed. If anything my life is more dangerous now then it was."

My abilities put him in more danger. But… I can't tell him. I can't let the one person I truly needed right now to find out that I was a freak. That I was the dangerous one now. That… I've killed.

"So what? You're going to leave again?"

"I have to…"

"I don't want you to go… I still love you."

"I love you too." I whispered. Knowing the one thing I wanted most, yet feared the most, was happening. I was getting him involved in my life. Putting him in danger… hurting us both all over again.

"I have to get back to the motel." I said hesitantly.

"Who's that guy?" Luke asked, sitting up and handing me my clothes.

"Another hunter we ran into. He's been helping us out a little. I uh. I needed a ride, and he was there."

"Hm."

"What?"

"I just. I don't know. I don't like the way he looked at you…"

"What do you mean?"

"Like. When I kissed you. He looked. Mad, like I was touching HIS girl."

"Ha. Yeah right." I said confidently. "He's not interested. Trust me."

"Are you?"

"No." I quickly said, but I felt the guilt punch me in the face. Deep down I knew that was a lie.

"How long are you staying in town?"

"I don't know. But if you're in the mood to play hooky tomorrow I should still be around." I smiled. He leaned over and kissed me again before standing and finishing dressing.

He dropped me off at the motel and I promised to meet him in the morning. I watched his truck drive away and remembered how hard it was the last time I left… how could I put myself through this twice. I sighed and grabbed my room key. Sliding it into the lock.

"Hey." I said quietly as I came in. Judson was laid out on the bed eating pizza and watching some old western movie.

"You look like you just had sex." He instantly said. I turned to him in shock.

"What?!"

He got up from the bed and walked over to me, crossing his arms.

"I said… You look like you just had sex. Did you?"

My cheeks burned red hot.

"No!" I said quickly turning away from him.

"You're a bad liar."

"Well so what if I did!"

"Then that would mean you made me drive you across the country for a booty call." He teased.

"I didn't even plan on that happening! It just did! Okay? If I knew I was going to have a booty call I would have driven myself!"

"Well. Whatever you did or didn't do with him… looks like it did you some good. I haven't seen that much color in your face since I met you."

I smiled a little.

"You hungry?"

"Starved!"

"Yeah well wild sex will do that to you." He winked.

"Oh shut up." I mumbled as I stuffed a piece of pizza in my mouth. I ate a couple more as walked around the room laying down salt lines and checking the locks. Painting a devils trap under the doormat.

"Damn, your brothers trained you up right didn't they?"

"Yeah. Well. When you've got demons hunting you down you get a little paranoid."

"Why are demons hunting you?" He asked as I laid down in the bed across from his.

"I don't know. Something to do with my abilities I think. They want me dead. Keep saying I'm too unpredictable."

"Did they try to kill Sam when he had his abilities?"

"No. Actually… they wanted him to join them. Be a leader of some army. Yellow eyes did something to us as babies. A lot of kids actually… then he had them kill each other off, the winner would lead the army."

"So wait, he put you and your brother against each other?"

I sighed… this was too much to explain.

"Can we just not get into all this."

"Hey. You agreed you would talk to me. All this is part of what's got you so messed up right?"

"Yeah."

"Well then explain it to me so I'll understand."

"Sam. He started having visions a year or so ago. They got stronger and stronger over time. All these other kids we met also had some sort of psychic ability. All that suddenly showed up out of no where. Some of them went crazy… some used it for good. Some for bad. Some just wished they'd go away. Sam always did."

"But they did go away, right?"

"… Only after he died." I whispered. "That's uh… that's why Dean made a deal. To bring him back."

Judson shook his head slightly. Like for the first time he was finally seeing the big picture. Understanding what's happened.

"So when did yours start?"

"A few days after Sam died. Yellow eyes was always teasing about how I had to ride things out on the bench till Sam was out of the game. I never knew what he meant… but the moment Sam died. Something in body flipped a switch. It was white hot blinding pain. Like lighting flowing through my blood. I spent the next three days sitting next to Sam's body, crying. But. When Dean took off. I got so angry… and these trees. I hit the ground and they all snapped. Like they'd been ripped in half."

"You still don't know what controls them?" He asked after a minute.

"No. Sam and Dean seem to think it's tied into my emotions. When I freak out they freak out. When I'm stressed they're more sensitive."

"Well I think they're right." Judson said.

"I think I'm exhausted, we should get some sleep. You drove all night. You've gotta be tired."

"Eh. I napped while you were gone."

"Well I'm going to get some sleep."

"I'm not going to get another repeat of last night am I?" He asked cautiously.

I looked up to him with a guilty expression.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry… Its not like you can control the nightmares."

I knew I should probably be honest with him… I know sleeping alone usually means I'll have nightmares. Sam and Dean aren't here… I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect any.

"I'll try not to rattle the place too much." I said with a small smile as I adjusted in the bed to get comfortable.

I fell asleep quickly. Easily… maybe I'd get lucky. Maybe the comfort of being with Luke would keep them away for at least one night. Maybe.

(Sam's POV)

"Text Judson, see what motel they're at." Dean demanded as we crossed into the city limits of Halltown.

"First motel on the right, just up the road." I told him once I got a reply. "Dean. How are we going to handle this?"

"We're gonna set her straight! You don't run off like that!"

"Dean, I'm serious. If we push too hard we'll just scare her off again. We need to be careful here."

Dean shook his head as he pulled into the motel. Our headlights flashed across Judson's truck, with Judson standing next to it. Dean put the car in park and jumped out.

"Dean! Chill out!" I warned him as he charged up to Judson.

"Where is she?!" He yelled.

"Sleeping. Peacefully… probably for the first time in a long time. So I thought maybe we could chat out here instead."

"Is she hurt?"

"Physically no. But she's pretty upset. Well… was. She came back from Luke's with a pretty cheery face if you know what I mean."

"Oh, dude gross! That's my little sister." I told him as I tried to erase the thought from my head. Dean looked ready to puke and murder Judson all at the same time.

"You let her hook up with the guy?!" Dean yelled.

"What was I supposed to do? Be a chaperone?"

"You could have at least made sure she kept her clothes on in the ONE day she was gone!"

"I'm not her boss. And you're not mine. I respect you and all, I do. But I don't think I'm the one you should be yelling at. I did nothing but make sure she was safe. Which she is. Inside this room, sleeping peacefully. Which is where I think we should leave her till she wakes up."

Dean's face showed the internal battle he was having with himself. He wanted so badly to barge in there and knock some sense into her, but the guilt he felt prevented him from doing so.

"Dean, maybe he's right. Lets just crash for the night and talk to her in the morning."

"What happens if she wakes up? Freaks out. You know how she is Sam."

"And so do I. Trust me… she fell asleep last night and my truck got quite the rude awakening." Judson added.

"The room next to yours better be empty! And I swear to God if I hear any kind of funny business going on in there I will kick in the damn door and rip you to shreds! STARTING with your penis!"

I rolled my eyes and Judson held up his hands in surrender as Dean stomped off the office to get us a room for the night.

"He always that cranky?" Judson asked.

"No. He just… gets touchy when it comes to Emily. He's more of a father than a big brother. That's his little girl in that room, and he'd give up the world to make her happy."

"So then I'm guessing it's been a long 9 months on him as well then."

"Wait." I looked at him in surprise. "She told you?"

"Not much… and trust me I damn near had to beat it out of her, but yeah. She told me a little bit. Kinda explains everything."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Like why she constantly looks like she's being held together by ductape."

I sighed. Knowing he was right.

"If she loses him, it may literally kill her." I said quietly. Something I could never admit out loud to Dean, it would only make his guilt worse.

"Yeah. I kinda got that same feeling." Judson sighed. "So what are we doing to save his ass?"

"… I've looked everywhere. Followed every lead. So far there's not much. Ruby say's she has a way to save him, but she's not exactly sharing the details on that."

"The same Ruby that Emily caught talking to Dean the other night?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well… call it a hunch. But. When Emily finally started talking. She said something about not being able to save him. Maybe Ruby's not what you think she is. Maybe that's what got Emily upset enough to take off."

I thought over his words… paired them with Dean's reactions. It all made sense. But… I don't know.

Dean began walking back towards us. He held two room keys in the air, handing one to me and sticking one in Judson's face.

"Right next door pal. I will sleep with my ear on that wall. Got it?!"

"Yup." Judson said popping the P.

We all went in and bunkered down for the night.

(Emily's POV)

 _No.. no no no no no no.._

 _I shook my head. Begging myself to wake up._

 _Not this again!_

 _I panicked as I spun around in the same house… the same room_

 _Every. Single. Fucking. Time._

" _NO!" I yelled. Begging myself to wake up._

" _EMILY!" Someone screamed… but it wasn't Dean._

" _Luke?!"_

 _My heart felt like it stopped beating. I waited to hear him again._

" _Emily please!"_

" _LUKE!" I yelled as I ran room to room just like in every other dream. Afraid of finding him the same way I always find Dean._

" _Luke!" I called, listening for his reply, but there wasn't anything. Everything had gone silent. The room was slowly getting darker and darker._

 _This isn't right. This isn't what happens. What the hell is happening?!_

My eyes flew open and I sat straight up on the bed.

"Whoa! Damn." Judson said from beside me, sitting on the edge of my bed. "You good?"

I nodded my head up and down as I tried to catch my breath. I looked over at the clock. 4 am. At least I slept a while before this one got me.

"Em? You sure?" Judson asked.

I nodded again, not wanting my shaky voice to betray me.

"Sorry I scared you. You started yelling. So I figured I'd better wake you up."

"Yeah, no. Its fine. That's fine." I said quickly as I stood and pulled a water bottle from the fridge and drank from it. Pressing it to the side to the side of my face when I finished, enjoying the cold.

"You okay to go back to bed?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah. I'll be fine…"

I just wish I wasn't sleeping alone.

"You uh… You want me to stay?" He asked hesitantly, almost as if he could read my mind. I looked down at the floor guilty. How wrong is it to have sex with Luke and fall asleep with another man?

"Emily. Its just sleep… I just want you to get some rest."

I set the water bottle back down in the fridge before looking at him and nodding slowly. He didn't say another word as he pulled back the covers and grabbed the pillow off his bed and threw it onto mine. He laid down on his back, getting comfortable. I carefully laid down on my side. Not facing him, internally struggling with myself over this whole situation. I did want to sleep… I wanted to truly sleep.

I sighed as I turned over and scooted closer to him in the dark. I was surprised as his arm laid over my back and onto my shoulder. I carefully and quietly scooted in a little more, repeating this until I was snuggled against him, ensuring myself that I wasn't alone.

The rise and fall of his chest lulled me to sleep for the second time tonight.

"Emily."

"Mmmm…"

"Emily. Get up."

"Nooo…"

"EM! Rise and shine!"

The covers were ripped off of me and when I opened my eyes mouth to scream at Judson I suddenly stopped.

"Dean." I said nervously. He Sam and Judson were standing at the end of the bed. Sam looked worried. Judson looked apologetic, and Dean… well. Dean is Dean.

"What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"Did you call them?" I accused Judson, getting out of the bed and walking over to him, ignoring Dean.

"No. I didn't."

"He didn't have to Em! We aren't stupid. We knew to come look here on our own. I mean really we just sat down and decided what's the stupidest thing she could do right now?! And BAM! Here you are!" Dean yelled.

"Dean calm down." Sam warned.

"No! What the hell were you thinking Em?! You wanna come out here and screw around with Luke some more?! Drag him AND you through the mud again! Do you not remember how hard this was on you last time?"

"Yes Dean! I do. I remember more about that then you ever will! Okay? I sent him away. I almost got him killed. I broke his heart! I was ruined for days! Okay… I get it."

"Then why are you here?!"

I stared at Dean and shook my head, but didn't respond. I grabbed my bag and pushed past him to go to the bathroom. I changed and brushed my teeth, pulling my hair into a messy bun instead of brushing it. I washed my face and knew I didn't have time for make up.

I told Luke I'd meet him this morning. He'll be there in 20 minutes and I'll be damned if I let Dean get in the way of this. I stuffed my things back in my bag and exited the bathroom. Dropping my bag on the bed.

"Emily where are you going?" Sam asked.

"To meet Luke."

"Em come on. You know this is a bad idea."

"I don't care."

"Yes you do! Kiddo. You're gonna rip his heart out all over again."

"Well its too late for that Sam! I'm here, he knows it! It doesn't matter now."

"Oh we know all about your booty call, trust me." Dean groaned. I turned and stared at Judson.

"You too Brutus?" I snapped.

"Emil-"

"No, Judson. Really. Its fine… you find out a lot about people."

"Em I would never do anything to hurt you and you know that." He argued.

"Really?! Like telling my brothers I was out screwing Luke last night? Telling them we were here? You thought I'd be cool with all that? Did you tell them who you shared a bed with last night?"

"WHAT?!" Dean roared.

Judson didn't answer but ran his hand through his hair angrily.

"That's it! Its time to go." Dean said harshly.

"No! Its not!" I yelled. "Its not time to go! Its not fair! None of this is fair!"

"Life's not fair kiddo." Sam said sympathetically.

"I'm not leaving. Not yet."

"Yes. We are." Dean growled.

"NO! I owe him more than to run out without saying a damn word! You're just going to have to wait. Because I'm not running out on Luke."

"What like you ran out on me?" Dean asked, his eyes glossing over. Guilt washed over me.

"Dean I. I panicked."

"So did I once I realized you were gone. And it didn't stop… for hours. How could you just take off on me like that? YOU. Em… you weren't supposed to leave me."

"Yeah well you weren't supposed to leave me either." I said as I turned and walked out the door.

No one followed. No one yelled for me to stop. No one really knew what to say or do at this point… we were all lost. I just wanted to get to Luke.

I can't believe Judson told them. I can't believe I trusted him… dammit.

I walked down the road until I saw the large black truck driving in my direction. It slowed as it approached me, once it came to a stop I jogged around the side and climbed in.

"Hey baby, what are you doing walking around out here?"

"Bad morning." I sighed.

"Well I can fix that." He said as he leaned over and kissed me greedily.

I giggled when he broke away. He drove us down to the local lake. Backing the truck up to the edge so we could relax and watch the ducks as they float across the top of the water.

"Luke." I mumbled as I laid next to him in the bed of the truck.

"Yeah?"

"We should talk… about what happens from here."

He let out a deep sigh.

"I can't stay… I have to go back with Dean and Sam."

"I figured as much, when are you leaving?"

"As soon as you take me back to the motel." I whispered.

"Wait, your brothers are here?" He asked sitting up.

"Yeah. I woke up this morning and there they were. Ripping me a new one about running off."

"No.. no no no. Dammit." He groaned as he sat up.

"Luke babe what's wrong?"

"They weren't supposed to be here."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused as he jumped out of the bed of the truck and began pacing along side it. "Luke… talk to me here."

"This wasn't supposed to go like this. I was supposed to have time. They aren't here yet."

"Who's they?"

"The others."

"Others?" I asked cautiously. I had the slow sinking feeling something was wrong. Very. Wrong.

He stopped pacing and stared at me.

"Luke?" I whispered. His stare turned into an evil grin as he blinked and showed me black eyes.

"Oh my god." I shuttered. I jumped from the truck on the opposite side of him and tried to run, but he had already come around the side and quickly ran after me. I pulled out my phone and hit the speed dial as I ran.

"Emily?" Dean answered.

"Dean!" I yelled out of breath as I continued to run down the wooded dirt road that led us to the lake. I turned and realized Luke was no longer directly behind me. I stopped, heaving for air.

"Emily?! What's going on?"

"Luke! He's possessed!" I cried as I spun in circles, looking for any sign of him.

"Where are you?"

"I don't know! Some lake, it wasn't far from the motel, maybe 20 minutes?!"

"Sam, we gotta move, now!" I heard him yell away from the phone.

"De… this is all my fault."

"Emily don't do that. Just. Stay low till I get there. Don't engage him."

"Dean I-" Without warning I was thrown against the ground, my phone skidding across the gravel and dirt road. Luke straddled me and held my wrists over my head.

"Though you could run from me baby?" He teased as he rubbed a large buck knife down the side of my face.

"Please. Don't do this… just let him go!"

"Oh I wouldn't worry about him if I were you."

"What do you want!"

"I want to please her… I want to show her my loyalty. She wants you. DEAD."

"Who?!"

"The new leader. If you thought yellow eyes was terrifying, just wait till the worlds meets her."

"Get off of me!" I bucked, he laughed as I squirmed. "You know I can kill you!"

"Oh but you won't… not while I'm wearing your boyfriend. Does he know? About you?"

Panic flashed across my face.

"About all those people you killed… what you can do."

"Stop it!"

"He's going to watch me paint your insides across this road."

"Don't do this! I will fucking kill you!" I said as I pulled to get away from him.

"Ha. Let's test this theory." He said as he stood and dragged me up from the ground, slamming me into a nearby tree. "Come on darling, show me what you got."

I darted to run, but he cut me off and sent a right hook into my jaw, knocking my head against the tree.

"Not good enough! C'mon! Get angry!" He yelled as he punched me again, and again.

"STOP!" I screamed. Holding myself back… I can't hurt him! I can't hurt Luke.

"Show me what you got you little bitch." He growled as he sliced into my arm with the knife.

"Ahh!" I screamed out in pain. "STOP!" I flung my arm away and when I did he flew backwards, dropping the knife. I ran forward and kicked it out of his reach form where he laid on the ground.

"Well, I think you're going to have to try a little harder than that." He said as he stood again. I held my ground.

"Get out of him."

"Or what?" He challenged.

I lifted my hand and watched as he fell to the ground writhing in pain. I twisted it as the familiar feeling flowed through my body, moving towards my hands. The power… I watched as he screamed out again and again.

"Get out of him!" I yelled.

"Stop! Please… stop! Emily!" Luke begged. His ocean blue eyes were filled with fear. I stopped immediately, getting down on the ground to cradle his face.

"Luke? Baby… I'm so sorry." I cried.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm so sorry." I sobbed. "I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to!"

His eyes flickered black again and he quickly pinned me underneath him again.

"You know you want this." He said as he ran his hands across my body. "I know Luke wants this…"

"No!" I said feeling terror rip through me. I fought and struggled, he hit me again and my face fell against the dirt, tears smearing the blood.

"Just don't hurt him" I whispered. Surrendering. Refusing to fight. Refusing to hurt him anymore.

"Fine. They didn't say I couldn't have my fun before I killed you." He sneered as he ripped my shirt. I closed my eyes and cried. Hoping he'd do it quickly, I forced myself not to look at him as his hands felt my bare waist, this isn't Luke… I can't watch him. In Luke's body.

I forced myself to drift away. To not be present for this. I didn't know where I wanted to pretend I was, but anywhere but here would work.

Suddenly I was being lifted into the air, I opened my eyes and focused.

"Dean." I whispered. I looked around, Judson was holding Luke down, Sam was reciting an exorcism and Dean was carrying me back to the car.

"Don't hurt him! Please! Don't hurt him…" I cried, trying to get out of Dean's arms.

"Em its okay, he's gonna be okay."

"Judson! Judson please…" I yelled. "Don't hurt him."

My vision faded in and out, I was barely able to watch as black smoke poured from Luke's mouth. Judson moved closer and closer towards me. But everything went black before I could speak.

There was ringing in my ears. It was constant, giving me a headache. There were other noises slowly coming into range. At first I didn't recognize them… but eventually I did. They were voices.

"Luke… Luke…" I called as I opened my eyes and tried to sit up from the back seat of the impala.

"Em, sweetheart, he's okay." Sam said as He turned around from the front seat, I noticed Judson was in the seat next to me. He had one of my hands linked into his, but when I looked down at them he let go. Dean was driving and didn't say a word.

"Where is he?" I mumbled weakly, trying to fully regain my consciousness.

"In his truck, following us back, he's right behind us kiddo. I promise."

"Did I hurt him?"

"No, He's okay… I promise. He's got a few bumps and bruises, he came out of this better than you did."

I nodded and forced myself to sit up straight. Taking deep breaths, leaning my head back against the seat. I felt someone's hand graze my arm. I opened my eyes and fell into green eyes.

"Are you okay?"

"No." I whispered. Judson lifted his arm and I scooted closer to him, letting him hold me as we drove back to the motel. Once back I quickly separated us and watched Luke pull his truck in. I stood… waiting for him to get out.

He finally did. He looked rough. His gray tshirt was stained with blood and dirt. Most likely my blood.

"Emily, I think. I think we need to talk."

His hoarse voice cut into me like a knife… I wasn't going to be the one saying goodbye this time.

"Could you guys excuse us for a minute?" I asked. Sam and Dean nodded. Judson looked between Luke and I. "Judson. Its fine. Just… go inside."

Once we were alone I threw my arms around Luke's neck, but he didn't reciprocate it.

"Was that demon right? About you?"

"What?" I asked confused.

"Did you kill people?"

I stood there stunned. The look in his eyes… it was something I'd never seen before.

"Luke I.. you don't understand."

"Are you human?" He asked shakily.

"Yes! I swear… Luke please, I can explain."

"Explain how you put me through the worst pain I've ever felt in my life and you didn't even have to touch me to do it? I mean. I'm not trying to sound harsh here but I'm a little freaked out. First a fucking demon invades my body… takes over. Then. You… you. You did things. Your eyes. They were red."

I crossed my arms and held myself together as word after word fell out of his mouth like knives plunging into my heart. There was no fixing this…

"I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"You know what really bothers me. More than any of that?"

I shook my head instead of answering.

"You weren't going to stop me Emily! You were going to let him do those things and you didn't even try to stop him! Do you know what he wanted to do?! Cause I do… I saw it all play out in my head like it was his! He-"

Luke cut himself off and shook his head.

"We can't do this anymore."

"I know." I whispered.

"I will not be the weakness that gets you killed… or worse."

"I'm sorry. I just. I didn't want to hurt you Luke." I pleaded with him, reaching out for his hand, but he quickly pulled it away.

"Emily I love you… but don't come back."

"Luk-"

He leaned in and kissed me… it was desperate. It was needy and hard, but then it ended. He looked at me one more time before he got back in his truck and drove away.

I stood and watched until he was out of sight. I gathered what little bit of myself that I could and walked back inside. Dean was shoving things angrily into a bag. Slamming our stuff. I flinched as I closed the door and he threw the bag onto the ground at my feet.

"Dean." Sam warned.

"You happy now?" Dean asked turning to face me. "Satisfied? Did what you came to do…"

"Dean. Stop it." Sam yelled. I stood there, staring at the ground.

"You could have died… AGAIN!"

"I wish I had died the first time." I whispered. More to myself than anyone else really. But Dean heard it.

"What did you just say?" Dean asked in that dangerously calm tone he uses on rare occasion.

"I wish… you had just let me die the first time."

"Shut up!" He yelled.

"No! If you hadn't brought me back then maybe the demon wouldn't have taken us! Sam wouldn't have died! You wouldn't have made a deal! NOTHING has gone right since the day you brought me back! You should have just let me die Dean!"

He threw something and it shattered next to my head on the wall. I flinched but held my ground.

"Dean! Knock it off!" Sam yelled stepping between us. Judson watched, looking ready to pounce in any direction at any given moment. Watching the scene unfold in front of him.

"I couldn't live knowing I let you die!" Dean yelled, his face red.

Sam's phone began to rang and he stepped away form between us, but when he did Judson took his place, holding my arm.

"Well I don't know how to live knowing I let you die! What am I supposed to do Dean!"

"You're gonna tough it out! You're gonna go on with life! Buck up!"

"Dean." Sam said trying to interrupt us.

"Fuck you!" I cried stepping towards Dean, but Judson pulled me back again.

"Dean!" Sam yelled.

"WHAT?" Dean and I both yelled in unison, looking over to Sam.

"That was the hospital… Its Bobby."


	53. Chapter 53

Author's Note: Hey guys! I have talked with some of you recently about critiques and improvements on the writing and I tried to add a few more details into this and also trying a new method for splitting up scenes and making it a little easier to follow, let me know if you think it works or not. Also, thank you for your continued love and support! I love you all so much. Everytime I see a new review I literally feel my heartbeat pick up for a moment. I really do enjoy talking with you guys and hearing what you have to say. I want this story to be relatable and enticing to you all, so it helps to know what you like to see. Please keep reading and reviewing! Emily has a lot of story left to tell. I know my updates have been more spaced out recently. When I started writing I had a lot of extra time on my hands and now I'm doing a full load of online classes and working overtime every week, I am NOT abandoning this story, and I hate taking so long. But I know when I'm exhausted my writing lacks, so I often put it off for a time when I've got better blood flow to the brain. I love you all, please read and review! Hope to hear from you all

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural etc.

I don't understand.

Why do hospitals all have pale colored walls? Why is it always this light puke green, or coral pink, or… in this case, light robin's egg blue. Pale yellows. Nothing dark. Nothing definitive. Nothing solid to grasp onto. Its like you're just… there. But you can't really figure out what's going on.

People die here.

People are born here.

Miracles happen here.

Tragedies happen here.

Everything… all aspects of life in one place.

Dressed in pale blue walls.

"Emily." Judson nudged me. "Here, drink this."

He handed me some hot chocolate. The first thing I've had in hours. We drove all day to get here, been here for 4 hours.

Dean hasn't said one word to me. He never turned around to look at me in the backseat, he just… went into "dean mode" and has been all about getting to Bobby. Judson came with since he too was worried about Bobby. Sam's made small talk. Asked me how I'm doing… sat next to me in the hallway. But Dean hasn't left Bobby's side.

Bobby… he uh, he looks. Different.

He's not bobby without a trucker hat and smart ass mouth. This. Man. Laying in the bed. He's a stranger.

"Emily… drink it." Judson pushed, bringing me out of my thoughts and back to reality. I lifted the cup and sipped at the hot sweet liquid, licking the spare drop off my lip slowly. I shuffled my legs, trying to get comfortable in the green stiff chair. I kept my eyes on the ground… it made me uncomfortable to look up and watch Dean pace at the end of Bobby's bed.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" Sam said as he walked back into the room.

"We've tested everything we can think to test. He seems perfectly healthy." I said sadly.

"Except that he's comatose." Dean added with a flat tone.

Knocks at the door caused us all to turn, a doctor walked in.

"Mr. Snyderson, I'm Dr. Blake. I take it you're his emergency contact. Anything we should know? Any illnesses?"

"No, he-he never gets sick. I mean, he doesn't even catch cold." Dean said walking closer to the doctor.

"Doctor, is there anything you can do?" I asked standing, Judson stood up behind me.

"Look, I'm sorry, but we don't know what's causing it... so we don't know how to treat it. He just... went to sleep, and didn't wake up."

I nodded slightly and excused myself from the room. I needed air, and its too thick to breathe in here. I walked past the boys and neither of them followed, but I recognized the footsteps behind me pretty quickly.

"Em, wait up."

"I just need some air, I'll be back." I said without turning around as I pushed the elevator button.

"You're running on fumes here. You gotta take a break."

I continued to push the button. But nothing was happening… I sighed in frustration and turned to the stairwell. 8 flights isn't that bad right?

I began to jog down the stairs, but knew Judson was hot on my track. Following me. Watching me. Waiting for me to lose my shit… but. Its not gonna happen. Not this time.

Bobby isn't in a coma… this isn't something that doctor can help with and we all knew it. We all knew this was supernatural related. Something happened to Bobby, and if he can be saved then WE were gonna be the ones to fix it.

I finally made it to the bottom floor and left out the side door, taking a deep breath as the cool air hit my face. It felt, refreshing. Like the first real breath I'd taken in hours. I stopped to soak it all in.

"Hey, I thought we had this discussion about not talking to me."

"I'm not- not talking to you… I just. Needed to get some fresh air. I told you that."

"Right. Its just coincidence you haven't said a word about what happened with Luke? Or about your fight with Dean? Or about Bobby for that matter?"

"I'm gonna go sit by the car. You're welcome to come." I said as I walked towards the back of the parking lot where Baby was parked. Once there I hopped on the trunk and laid back on the glass, deep breathing, thinking about our next move.

"Emily, please… tell me what's going through your head right now."

"I think we should go back to his motel. He's a hunter… whatever he was working on there should be clues in his room. I'll text Sam, see what he thinks."

"That's not what I meant."

"Look, I get it okay, you don't want me to bottle this shit up… we'll talk. AFTER Bobby is okay. Right now, he is priority number one and everything else can wait. I can wait."

Judson stared at me. My phone buzzed, giving me a reason to look away from him.

"Sam said they'll be down in a minute."

"Okay." He sighed. "Wanna ride in the truck or with your brothers?"

"I think I should stay with my brothers for now… Dean's in hard spot. And as angry as I am… I know I need to stick close to him."

Judson gave me a half smile and a nod before walking over to his truck.

…..

"So, what was Bobby doing in Pittsburgh?" Sam asked as we walked in the door of his motel room.

"Working. Bobby's always working." I said looking around the center of the room. Confused at the empty and plain looking room.

"Unless he's taking an extremely lame vacation..." Dean added. "You think there'd be some sort of sign of something if he was working, you know?"

"Research, news clippings... I can't find anything." I said going drawer to drawer on the dresser.

"Or a frigging pizza box or a beer can."

I chuckled for a half a second and caught Dean giving me a half a smile… we have unfinished business to hash out. But we both know Bobby comes first.

"How 'bout this?" Sam hollered, drawing our attention to the closet, where behind the clothes was a map, marked with research, pictures, etc.

"Good old Bobby, always covering up his tracks." Dean chuckled.

"You make heads or tails of any of this?"

"Silene capensis, which of course means absolutely nothing to me."

"Here. Obit." I said picking up the clipping on the bottom of the wall. "Dr. Walter Gregg, 64, university neurologist."

"How'd he bite it?" Dean asked.

"Um.. actually, they don't know. They say he just went to sleep and didn't wake up." I said shakily. Just like Bobby… "That sound familiar to you?"

"All right, don't get ahead of yourself, um... So let's say Bobby was looking into the doc's death. You know, hunting after something-" Sam started.

"–that started hunting him." I finished.

"Hey, sorry. I had to stop and fill up the tank, what'd yall find?" Judson said as he burst into the room, leather jacket and aviators still on. Mm.

"Here. See if you can make heads or tails of this." Dean said handing him the paper, then walking towards the door.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked curiously.

"I'm gonna look into the good doctor myself."

"I'm coming with."

Judson and Sam both shot me a curious glance but Dean just nodded and kept walking, I followed him out, leaving the awkwardly silent motel room.

The ride was silent too. I don't really think either of us knew where to start… I mean what do you say after you tell someone you wish they'd let you die. Sorry? Oops I take it back? Hey cheer up I'm not dead? … Dean hasn't forgotten what I said, and neither have I.

Once inside Dean put on his fake charm and approached the lab.

"So you're Dr. Gregg's lab assistant?" Dean asked the young man.

"That's right. I'm Sanders."

"Well, his death must have come as a shock to you." I offered.

"Yeah, it did. But, still, go in your sleep, peaceful... That's what you wish for, right?"

"Yeah. Right." I said awkwardly, Dean quickly cut in.

"Dr. Gregg uh.. studied sleeping disorders? Dreams?"

"I don't understand. I went over all of this with the other detective."

"You already spoke to another detective?" Dean said with a furrowed brow.

"Yes. A very nice older man with a beard."

Bobby.

"Well, I'd love to hear it again if you don't mind. I'm a rookie, and well… If I can get a lead on this case it may just bump me up a little with all these guys, they're kinda hard on the new girl ya know?" I quickly chattered.

"Thing is, I'm sort of busy. Maybe we could do this later?"

"Sure. Yeah. Just bring you down to the station later this afternoon, and get your statement on tape, do it all official-like." Dean offered.

"Look, okay, I didn't know about Dr. Gregg's experiments. Not until I was cleaning out his files."

"His experiments, uh...? The ones he was conducting on ... sleeping?"

"No one knew, okay? Not the university, not anybody. I already spoke with a lawyer and he told me I can't be held liable for anything."

"Maybe you couldn't, but that was before the new evidence came to light."

"New evidence?"

"Mm-hm."

"What new evidence?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

"Look, I'm just a grad student. This was a gig to cover tuition."

"Maybe so. But, uh, still, this- this... this could go on your permanent record. Unless you hand over the doctor's research to me. All of it." Dean insisted. He obliged quickly and we went to the car to begin sorting through it all.

"De."

"Hm?"

"This guy had a few patients. There's only really records on one though… Jeremy. Looks like he's a student at the local college. Did a lot of sleep studies, dream studies… you name it. This guy got the work over more than once."

"Well. Lets go pay him a visit.

….

"Look, I don't know what the RA said, but, ah, I was growing ferns." Jeremy said as he answered the door and Dean pulled a badge.

"Take it easy, Phish, that's not why I'm here."

"Really?"

"Really. We don't care about your after school gardening." I told him with a smile.

"Oh, thank God. Okay."

"We wanna talk to you about Dr. Gregg's sleep study."

"Yeah. Dr. Gregg just died, right?"

"You were one of his test subjects, right?" I returned.

"Yeah." Jeremy said offering us a beer from his mini fridge. "Unless you're on ... duty or, whatever?"

"No thanks." I smiled.

"I guess I can make an exception." Dean smiled taking the beer, both of them savoring a long drink.

"Now, Dr. Gregg was testing treatments for a, uh, "Charcot-Wilbrand syndrome"? Which means...?" I asked getting back to the study.

"Um.. I, uh.. I can't dream."

"Wow… I wish I had something like that." I mumbled… imagining how great it would be to sleep at night without nightmares. Dean nudged me lightly.

"I had this bike accident when I was a kid and banged my head pretty good and I haven't had a dream since. Till the study. You know. Sort of." Jeremy explained.

"What'd the doc give you?" Dean asked.

"It's this yellow tea. It.. it smelled awful, tasted worse."

"What did it do?"

"Just passed right out. And uh, I had the most vivid, super-intense dream. Like a bad acid trip, you know?"

"Totally." Dean chuckles, I elbowed him. "I mean, no."

"That was it. I dropped out of the study right after that. I didn't... like it. To tell you the truth... it kind of scared me."

"Yeah… dreams can do that you sometimes." I told him.

"You sure I can't get you a soda or something sweetheart?"

"Um, sure." I smiled as he offered me the coke. We finished our beverages and went back to the car to meet up with Judson and Sam at the hospital. The car ride was silent… again. Which I didn't mind as much the first few times but now its getting old.

I sighed before speaking.

"You're still pissed at me."

"And you're still pissed at me." Dean replied without skipping a beat. "When Bobby wakes up we can hash it out."

"I don't even know where to start Dean."

"We could start with what you heard between me and Ruby. And why in the hell you thought it was okay to take off like that."

"Dean I panicked! There was no 'oh this is an okay thing to do' there was just panic. I felt like my entire world was being shattered all over again! After EVERYTHING Sam and I have tried… Ruby was supposed to come through with the hail-mary."

"I've told you all along not to get your hopes up. Not to try, because there isn't a way to save me Em! I told you that I wanted to spend this time getting you ready!"

"Well I'm not ready! I don't want to be ready and no matter what we spent the last few months doing I was never going to be ready Dean! Don't you see that?!" I cried, feeling tears bubble to the surface.

Dean looked at me briefly before turning back to the road.

"Did you mean it?" He asked me softly.

"What?"

"Did you mean it? That you wished you'd died."

I chewed on my lip.

"I don't know."

Dean scoffed.

"Well that's too damn bad, cause you were NOT dying on my watch… I will not live, knowing you're dead."

"YET YOU EXPECT ME TO DO IT?" I snapped.

"Emily its differe-"

"NO! Dean its not different! How is it any different!" I cried.

"BECAUSE I RAISED YOU!" He screamed. "Because parents don't bury their children! Its wrong! Its backwards and I will not bury you! I will not live a day on this earth knowing that I failed you! I failed Sam, and I had to right that mistake… so please… let me make things right."

I bit down on my lip and pulled my gaze to the window. Trying to pull myself together.

"You're not Dad, Dean. Its not the same thing." I finally whispered.

"The hell its not!"

"Just… Pull over."

"What?"

"I said pull over! I'm getting out!" I said as I reached for the door handle and began opening the door, Dean quickly slammed the breaks and pulled us off to the side of the road.

"Emily get your ass back in that car!" Dean yelled as he stepped out and chased after me.

"No." I said continuing to walk without looking at him, he jumped in front of me and grabbed me by the arm to drag me back.

"I said NO!"

The road beneath our feet cracked, like ice does when you walk across the thin patches. Dean looked down and released my arm. He looked back up to me in frustration.

"FINE! Walk." He growled. He got back into the impala and peeled out, leaving me standing on the side of the road.

We were only a 15 minute drive from the hospital, that meant about a 45 minute walk… so I crossed my arms and started walking. 20 minutes or so into my walk I stopped and sighed… the large truck coming my direction was slowing down. I rolled my eyes.

"Great. More talking." I mumbled.

"Get in." Judson said as he leaned over and opened the passenger door.

"No thanks." I smiled, continuing my walk. I heard the engine cut off and the doors close. Then footsteps that grew closer by the second.

"Why don't you want to ride?"

"Because then you'll want me to talk about my feelings and I'm just not in the mood."

"Well then we can walk and talk, it'll double the length of our chat." He grinned. I groaned exasperated and turned back towards the truck, climbing in silently.

"So uh, Dean looked pretty upset when he got to the hospital."

"Good." I mumbled.

"Em, what happened? I thought you guys were gonna wait till we fixed all this stuff with Bobby to finish this."

"We were… "

"But?"

"But he's a hypocrite!" I yelled in aggravation. "He thinks its perfectly fine to die and leave me and Sammy here but its just completely unacceptable that he had let me die. Its not fair! I shouldn't even be here right now! I was dead! No pulse, no air, no nothing… dead. And he brought me back, and then Sam dies… and he can't let Sam die either. He goes and sells his FUCKING SOUL. He doesn't even let me help find a way that doesn't destroy us all in the end! He doesn't even talk to me! He just makes this choice without thinking about any of the consequences and assumes we'll just be fine with it! Well I'm not fine with it! I'm not! There should be a way to save him! There has to be a way… and I can't find it."

My rant went on with no interruptions… ending with me near sobbing. My shoulders shook for a second before I inhaled a deep breath.

"I don't know how to save him." I said again as I pulled myself together, pulling my knees up and leaning against them, Judson's hand pushed the hair out of my face and squeezed on my neck, working on the tight muscles. I began to loosen and relax as I scooted closer to him, closing my eyes.

"Emily, I need you to listen to me without interrupting. Let me finish."

I turned my head slightly so I could look at him, he let his hand drop from my neck and sighed. He ran it through his hair before grabbing onto my hand and beginning to speak.

"When I lost my sister, Olivia… I felt like I failed her, and it ran me into the ground… for months. I don't expect you to understand where I'm coming from just by listening to me. Its something you have to feel… to experience. Em, Dean… he loves you. Love like that. When you lose that person you kinda lose yourself… if there was ANYTHING I could do, still even to this day, that would bring Oliva back. I'd do it. I'd rot in hell every day for eternity so she could live her life. Dean made his choice for you and Sam. Not because he wants to leave, but because it's a better option then living one day without the two of you. Because it hurts too much to live without you two. Dean is going to die Emily… and you have to accept that."

"…what?" I said as I pulled my hand away. I stared at him, betrayal stinging me.

"Emily please don't be mad at me. You can't understand what it feels like."

I stared ahead as we pulled into the hospital parking lot. I sat in silence as he parked the truck. He reached for my hand again but I quickly yanked it away.

"Emily don't do this…"

"You should go." I mumbled as I opened the door and climbed out.

"What? No? I'm not leaving you like this. I'm not leaving Bobby."

"We can handle it." I said as I walked in the hospital's front doors.

"Em I'm sorry."

"Don't call me that."

"I told you that you don't understand! You can't understand how bad it hurts, I get it Emily, I get why Dean did it. You have to let him make his own decisions… he chose this for a reason."

"Leave." I turned and said gruffly. He threw his hands in the air and shook his head before turning and walking out of the hospital. I rode the elevator up to Bobby's room.

"How is he?" I asked as I walked in.

"No change, where's Judson?" Sam asked.

"Gone… so what do we have?"

"What do you meant gone?"

"I mean he left. Are you going to fill me in here or not?"

Dean and Sam exchanged glances before Sam answered.

"Well, considering what Dean told me about the doc's experiments… Bobby's wall is starting to make a hell of a lot more sense."

"How so?"

"This plant, Silene capensis, is also known as African Dream Root? It's been used by shaman and medicine men for centuries."

"Let me guess. They dose up, bust out the didjeridus, start kicking around the hackey."

"Not quite. If you believe the legends, it's used for dreamwalking. I mean, entering another person's dreams, poking around in their heads."

"I take it we believe the legends." I sighed as I sat down on Bobby's bed and wrapped both my hands around his.

"When don't we? But dreamwalking is just the tip of the iceberg."

"What do you mean?" Dean asked.

"I mean, this Dream Root is some serious mojo. You take enough of it, with practice, you can become a regular Freddy Krueger. You can control anything. You could turn bad dreams good, you could turn good dreams bad."

"And killing people in their sleep?"

I looked up to see Sam nodding.

"So let's say uh, let's say this doc was testing this stuff on his patients, Tim Leary-style." Dean said.

"Somebody gets pissed at him, decides to give him a little dream visit, he goes nighty-night." Sam responded.

"But what about Bobby?" I asked. "I mean, if the killer came after him, how come he's still alive?"

"I don't know." Dean sighed. "C'mon, lets gead back for now."

I leaned forward and kissed Bobby on the forehead before walking out behind my brothers.

"So how do we find our homicidal sandman?" Dean asked.

"Could be anyone." I mumbled.

"Yeah? Anyone who knew the doctor, had access to his dream shrooms."

"Maybe one of his test subjects or something?" Sam guessed.

"Possible. But his research was pretty sketchy. I mean.. I don't know how many subjects he had, or who all of them were. We only had record of the one… and he's no genius. Trust me." I mumbled as I stared at my feet, stepping one tile at a time across the dusky floor.

"Ya know." Sam chuckled. "In any other case, we'd be calling Bobby and asking him for help right now."

"You know what? You're right." Dean said stopping in his tracks, I accidentally ran right into him. He stumbled forward and I backwards.

"What the hell?" I snapped.

"Em! Bobby… lets go talk to him." Dean said looking between Sam and I with a grin spreading on his face.

"Sure. I think we might find the conversation a bit one-sided." I snarked.

"Not if we're tripping on some Dream Root." Dean grinned.

"What?" Sam asked.

"You heard me."

"You wanna go dreamwalking inside Bobby's head?"

"Yeah. Why not? Maybe we could help."

"We have no idea what's crawling around in there."

"Well how bad could it be?"

"Bad." Sam said slowly.

"Dude, it's Bobby."

"Yeah, you're right. One problem though. We're fresh out of African Dream Root, so unless you know someone who can score some ... "

"Fuck…" I groaned.

"What?" Sam and Dean asked me simultaneously.

"Bela." I sighed.

"Bela? Crap. You're actually suggesting we ask her a favor?" Sam asked.

"No. I'm suggesting we're desperate and this is Bobby… and for Bobby. I'll bite my tongue."

"I'm feeling dirty just thinking about it, but yeah. I think she's right." Dean nodded.

….

"Hey Em." Sam bumped me at the table as we munched on our dinner. I looked up to him. "What happened with Judson?... Or Dean for that matter?"

"Me and Dean continued our fight while discussing that we were still pissed but should wait to fight about it. Sounds logical right?"

"No but it sounds exactly like something the two of you would do…"

"Yeah well. I don't know why we try… this isn't one of those fights where we're magically going to come to an agreement. Its just not."

"Emily. You didn't mean it did you?"

"I don't know Sam… I just. What if none of this crap ever happened. Maybe once I died yellow eyes woulda backed off and the-"

"Em stop. You know that's not true. Whether you were there or not, Yellow eyes would have come after me, and I would have died in that town. Dean would still sell his soul, or rather he would have already sold it to bring you back and then we'd really be screwed." He chuckled a little, oddly enough I joined him. "So what about Judson? He was worried about you kiddo. And as much as I hate having some boy follow you around like a lost puppy, he's not so bad. He looks out for you."

"He does not follow me around like a puppy… we've just. Crossed paths and done each other a couple of favors."

"Em. Stop bullshitting me. What happened?"

I sighed and laid my head down on the table, Sam reached up and ruffled my hair.

"…He made sense. For the first time since you came back I saw things from another point of view, and I didn't like it. So basically I told him to fuck off. Because why would I listen to someone who makes perfect sense when I'm having this internal struggle with myself. That would be the smart thing to do, and I think we all know I don't always do the smartest things."

"Don't be so hard on yourself kiddo, just apologize to the kid. He'll understand."

"Sam… Luke told me never to come back." I whispered. His shoulders dropped and he pressed his lips together in a flat line. "I never meant to hurt him Sammy. I didn't know where else to go."

"I know kiddo, but everything we do has risks and consequences. You went. You played with fire, and you and I both know you were bound to get burned. Luke… he doesn't deserve this."

"I know that Sam."

"But you went anyways. Why?"

"Because I was selfish…. Because I was desperate."

"C'mere kiddo." Sam said as he opened up his arms. I quickly conceded and allowed him to wrap me in his sasquatch arms. There's not much of anything that's gonna fix this fuck up I call my life right now, but I'd never turn down a Sam hug. They're magic.

"He found someone… she's beautiful."

"Well, anything after you is a downgrade." Sam offered. I blushed and giggled. Sam kissed my forehead.

"He looked happy with her, I tried to leave… once I saw her. I tried to just go, but. He saw me, tracked me down at the motel."

"Well… I guess he still cared enough about you to pursue this."

"Oh trust me. He cared. In more ways than one." I teased.

"Oh-kay. You've just ruined the moment." Sam said making a gag-like face as he pulled his arms away from me. I laughed out loud.

"I'm sorry Sammy. I just needed a good laugh and the opportunity presented itself."

"Well if it makes you happy then I guess I'll try and forget it never happened. Don't pull that with Dean. He'll have a heart attack."

"I don't think Dean and I are going to be talking again until this thing with Bobby is settled. It's just too dangerous."

"Yeah, he's outside trying to get ahold of Bella. Might be a good time to track down Judson, fix things."

"Ughhh…" I groaned as I lightly banged my head on the table repeatedly. Sam laughed and stood behind me, lifting me out of the chair like I was a giant ragdoll and walking me towards the front door.

"Go on, before Bela shows up and we have a massacre on our hands."

"You mean that in the sense of if she showed up I could destroy her with one hand. Right?"

"Sure kiddo. Now go… before Dean comes out here and tries to stop you."

I smiled and kissed Sam on the cheek before darting out the door and quietly closing it behind me. I sighed as I stared at the large black truck in the back of the parking lot. Judson had gotten a room at the same motel as us, just a floor up and down the hall. I took the steps one at time, contemplating this decision the whole time. I mean what the hell am I supposed to say? He's still pissed… he hasn't spoken to me or come around in hours.

I stood in front of the ugly red door that contrasted the pale orange brick of the building. I raised my hand to knock, and then dropped it. Raised it again, took three steps back and sighed. I turned and leaned down resting my arms on some railing.

Come on Emily… get it together!

I mentally pumped myself and turned back to the door, knocking before I got the chance to chicken out again. The knock was swift, urgent, and nervous. The 10 seconds it took for it to open felt like 10 minutes.

"Hi." I mumbled.

Judson stared at me expectantly. Waiting for me to say something else.

"So. I uh, Umm… you wanna um. Go for a drive maybe?" I stuttered.

He shook his head and started to close the door.

"No, Judson wait!... I'm sorry."

The door slowly opened again. Judson sighed and then reached over for something, he stepped out. Keys in hand.

"After you." He said holding out his hand. I walked back down the stairs and towards the back of the parking lot. Judson didn't say a word as we climbed in. He pulled out of the parking lot and turned down the radio.

"So, we're driving."

"Yup." I said popping the p.

"Em I'm sick of the foreplay. If you have something to say then just say it already."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. Its just… The fact that part me thinks you're right scares the shit out of me."

"Well sometimes the truth scares people, Emily."

"What if I really can't save him Judson. What if… What if I'm really going to lose him."

Instead of answering me he turned down a dark side road, it came out by a lake, he backed the truck up to the edge of the water and got out. I followed. He dropped the tailgate and jumped up, patting the seat next to him. I followed suit.

"What's your biggest fear? I mean truly… the WORST thing that could happen to you." He asked me.

I sat and thought for a minute. Staring at the water, watching the moon reflect off of it like it was dancing. What am I scared of?... Everything. What scares me the most?

"I'm scared I'll hurt the people I love… that I'll lose myself. Become a monster. Hurt my brothers."

Judson chuckled.

"What?"

"You Winchesters are something else. You're the exact same bullet just in a different casing. Emily what would you do to prevent yourself hurting your brothers?"

"Whatever it takes. I'd die before I let myself hurt them."

"So what you're saying is you would die for Sam and Dean?"

"Without a second thought." I said immediately.

"Emily what do you think Dean's biggest fear is?"

"…I don't know."

"Yes you do." He said looking me straight in the face. "Don't bullshit me Emily. Cause I'm not buying it."

I chewed on my lip and looked away from his intense gaze.

"Losing me and Sam." I finally whispered.

"What would Dean be willing to do to save the two of you?"

"…Anything." I said feeling my eyes sting.

"Em. When I say I know how hard this is for you I mean it. I mean it to the bottom of my soul, because I've lost someone. I know the pain, I know how scary it is. But I'm telling you right now, the pain it would have caused Dean NOT to make this decision. Is ten times worse… if you don't want to hurt your brother, then stop putting him through the ringer for trying to save you and Sam. He's just doing the best he can."

"But what if I can sav-"

"But what if you can't Em. What then? You gotta face that. You have to know that this could happen, that it probably WILL happen."

"And if I don't?"

"Then its going to destroy you. You need to talk to Dean. You need to fix this, and take every single day for what it is… cause the days get shorter and shorter. Stop spending them fighting, cause if you can't save him, then you'll hate yourself for it."

"I don't want to lose him Judson. I don't… I don't know how to do anything without him. Dean has literally been there for me my ENTIRE life. He raised me. He told me bedtime stories. He watched me take my first steps. He carried me when I scraped my knees learning to ride a bike. He stayed up with me all night long when I was sick. He was the only one who could get me to come out of the bathroom when I found out the truth about monsters. He fixed my first broken heart, he fixed my first broken arm. He watched every ridiculous sappy girlie movie I ever wanted to see when I was sad, and he never complained. Dean has made everything okay my entire life. He LITERALLY has saved me again, and again, and again… and I don't understand how this one damn time I can't save him! I just… I don't' know how to live without him."

"I didn't either. But you'll figure it out. Because that's all you can do."

"Its not right. He doesn't deserve to go to hell… He's the best person I know." I cried, leaning my head against Judson's shoulder. He quickly put his arm around me.

"I know." He sighed. "Most people don't deserve the bad shit that happens to them."

It was weird… the way I felt drawn to Judson. Sometimes I think he feels the same way, other times I feel like I'm annoying him. Its back and forth and back and forth.

"Why are you here?"

"What?" He asked confused.

"Why are you here. Why do you care? I mean you don't know us… you don't owe us anything. Hell all we do is piss each other off half the time. So why are you here. Listening to me cry in the dark."

"Because if I don't no one else will put up with your whiny ass."

I sat up and punched his shoulder. He laughed.

"So tell me what happened with Luke."

"Ugh. Can we just not go there? Please… aren't I dealing with enough right now?"

"Yeah. You are, which is why you need to put this behind you. Which you won't do until you talk about it… and I get the feeling there's something you're not wanting Dean or Sam to find out about."

I wracked my brain… do I tell him? Will he tell Sam or Dean? Will he think I'm pathetic?... well. Even more pathetic. I jumped off the back of the truck and paced around the edge of the water for a minute.

"You have to swear not to tell my brothers. Please."

"O-kay." He said slowly… I could see the wheels turning in his head. Debating how bad this could really be.

"The demon… he wanted to push me to use my, abilities or whatever. He kept hurting me. Trying to set me off. I tried really hard not to."

I crossed my arms and walked back towards him, he was still seated on the tailgate, leaning forward, listening intently. I walked till I was inches form him. So I wouldn't have to say it any louder…

"He just kept pushing… and it hurt so bad. So I snapped. And I threw him off of me, and then I just… kept going. He screamed, and something happened. The screams changed… it wasn't the demon. It was Luke. Begging me to stop hurting him."

I looked down guiltily.

"He asked me why I was hurting him. He looked so scared… he was scared of ME. So… the demon snapped back in, and took me down, and. I… I couldn't do it again. I couldn't hurt him Judson. Please… try to understand."

"What was he doing to you when we showed up?" Judson asked, they shade of green in his eyes growing a bit darker.

"Please understand… I didn't want to. And he didn't get far, but I couldn't fight back or I was gonna hurt Luke!"

"Em what were you going to let him do to you?" He asked standing up, I took three nervous steps back and shook my head.

"Please don't be mad." I cried. "Judson you don't understand. I couldn't hurt him."

"Emily… tell me the truth. Now."

"You can't tell Sam and Dean! Okay… you promised!"

"Emily! Tell me!"

"He-he… he tried to rape me." I finally whispered the words.

"And you weren't going to stop him?! What the hell is wrong with you!"

"I didn't want him to hurt Luke!"

"What about you Emily?! What about you getting hurt?"

"Please don't be mad at me."

"I can't believe you would do that for some guy who dumped you an hour later. Are you fucking kidding me…" He said walking around angrily, pushing his hand through his hair.

"… That's why he dumped me."

"What?"

"That's why he dumped me. He remembered it… and he said that he refused to be the weakness that got me killed and then he left. And he told me never to come back! And he told me it was over!" I yelled. "Okay, you happy now?! You know the whole story now… you-you think I'm stupid, and that I'm what… some pathetic little girl?! Well that's fine! But I wasn't going to hurt him! I don't want to kill anyone else! It scares me! I don't know who I am anymore and I don't know what I'm capable of and it scares the hell out of me dammit!"

"Well its about damn time you were honest with yourself don't you think?! Honest with me even! Is that so hard… why does it take so much to get you to admit this shit to yourself! Huh? What the hell is wrong with you that you would let a DEMON rape you before you would defend yourself just because he's walking around in some boy toy! Dammit Emily! Did you ever think that maybe your life is so fucked up because you keep letting it get that way?"

"Fuck you okay! You don't know shit about me or my life! You don't get it… any of it! You don't know what its like to be scared of yourself! To feel like you don't have control over anything you do! Over anything that happens to you!"

"Then take control! Stop hiding from everything and fucking own up to it! Take your life back!"

"Its not that simple!"

"Oh I think it is, I think you just enjoy all the drama. All the attention… huh? You like it when people come to your rescue all the damn time? Just keep putting yourself in danger. Keep letting shit get outta hand, and then you let someone else swoop in and save your dumb ass. God. You are unbelievable!"

His words felt like knives cutting into me… He doesn't understand. He can't understand. Under any normal circumstance I would be angry… so angry. But, coming from Judson… I don't know. It feels different. It makes me feel small. It makes me feel like I'm less of a person.

Plain and simple… it hurts.

I shook my head up and down as I stared at my boots on the muddy ground. Biting down on my lip to keep it from trembling. I looked at him for a brief second, then turned and began walking back down the dirt road.

"Where the hell are you going?" He called after me. I didn't reply. "Dammit Emily… arrgh!"

I continued walking, hearing him shuffling things around behind me. But I didn't stop to turn and see what it could be, honestly I'm not sure I wanna know. I just… wanna get away.

"I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry…" Judson yelled jogging to catch up to me, once he did he jumped in front of me and moved when I tried to dodge him. I turned and started walking the other way.

"Em please." He said as he grabbed my arm, stopping me from walking away. "C'mere… I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I just… It drives me nuts to think of what that demon could have done to you."

I didn't look up, but I also didn't resist as he pulled me into his arms, fully enveloping me. I froze as his fingers moved up and down my spine, his lips laid against my hairline. I was frozen in time. Unsure of what to say. Unsure of what to do.

All I knew is that I didn't want him to let me go.

Eventually I loosened the arms I had pushed tightly against my chest and let them move between his jacket and his shirt, hogging the warmth inside of it. My hands rubbed against his ribs, the muscular curves on his back, settling on intertwining behind his lower back.

"Emily… I didn't mean it." Judson whispered to me, his hot breath tingling as it touched my ear. I shuddered, and his arms wound around me even tighter.

"I'm tired of fighting with everyone." I finally whispered back. "I'm tired of fighting."

"I know hun. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things."

"But you did."

"Look at me." He said as he pulled my face away from his chest, his thumbs resting on either side of my face. "I didn't mean it. I was just angry, I just. Want you to trust me."

"Why?"

"Because it feels kinda nice to have someone depend on you again."

I lost myself in green eyes, unable to find a response. He eventually released me and I curled back into him, even though nothing in this day felt solid. Even though everything in my life felt like it was on shaky ground, I knew I had him to lean on. For now…

"We should go back." I finally said after remembering why we were here in the first place. Standing around here isn't helping Bobby.

"Okay." Judson said as he pulled us towards the truck.

The ride back was quiet, I stayed situated against his side, he didn't complain and kept his arm wrapped around me as he drove.

Is it odd to find comfort in someone who you know hardly anything about, but I'm thankful for it with everything going on right now.

When we pulled in we watched as Sam and Dean flew out of the motel room. I quickly jumped out of the truck.

"What's wrong?!"

"Bobby's awake! C'mon Em lets go." Sam said with a smile as he ushered me into the impala.

…..

We rushed down the hall, practically at a sprint as the four of us turned the corner and found Bobby sitting up in his bed, he turned to us and raised his eyebrows.

"Well don't yall look like a bunch of idjits."

"Uncle Bobby!" I smiled as I lunged and wrapped my arms around his neck, squeezing him to me.

"I missed you too darling." He said gruffly, hugging me back. I let him go and Sam and Bobby each took their turn, Judson watched from the door and offered Bobby a nod.

The rest of the night was spent filling Bobby in on the last few months and on what we found so far on the case. The boys also filled me in on walking around in Bobby's head, and the appearance of Bela the bitch. Can't say I'm mad I missed that one.

"So, uh, stoner boy wasn't in his dorm. My guess is he's long gone by now." Sam said walking in after going to find Jeremy.

"He ain't much of a stoner." Bobby corrected.

"No?" Dean asked.

"No. His name's Jeremy Frost. Full-on genius. Hundred-and-sixty IQ. Which is sayin' something, considering his dad took a baseball bat to his head. Here's Father of the Year." Bobby held up a copy of his father's driver's license. "He died before Jeremy was 10."

"Looks like a real sweetheart." I chided.

"Injury gave him Charcot-Wilbrand. He hasn't dreamt since."

"Yeah I know… I'm jealous." I added, Bobby rolled his eyes and Judson chuckled shaking his head

"Till he started dosing the dream drug." Dean said.

"Yep."

"How'd he know how to dig up your worst nightmare and throw it at you?"

"Hey, he was rooting around in my skull. God knows what he saw in there."

"Yeah. How'd he get in there in the first place? Isn't he supposed to have some of your hair, your DNA, or something?" Sam asked.

"Yeahhhh. 'Fore I knew it was him, he offered me a beer. I drank it. Dumbest frigging thing."

Oh no…

Oh no no no.

I looked up to Dean, we both had the classic 'oh shit' look on our faces. Something that didn't go missed.

"Oh, I don't know. It wasn't that dumb." I giggled as I noticed Judson was watching Dean and I. I laughed nervously and Dean stood running his hand through his hair. Sam and Bobby quickly turned towards me.

"Em, you didn't." Sam asked.

"Uh. Actually yeah… WE did."

"We?" Bobby asked.

"I was thirsty?" Dean added.

"That's great. Now he can come after either one of you!" Sam said full of frustration.

"Well, now we just have to find him first." Judson said with a sigh, I could tell this frustrated him as well.

"We better work fast ... and coffee up. Because the one thing we cannot do – is fall asleep." Bobby added.

….

"Em. Em! Come on… drink it." Sam said handing me ANOTHER green tea. I asked for energy drinks, but he was afraid my heart might explode.

"Saaaaaaaam." I whined. "I'm so tired."

"I mean, this Jeremy guy's not a friggin' ghost. Where the hell could he be?" Dean said as he punched the gas pulling out of the gas station parking lot.

"Dean, you sure you don't want me to drive? You seem a little..." Sam started, but hesitated when Dean shot him a look. "... caffeinated."

"Well, thanks for the news flash, Edison!"

"Stop yelling! You're giving me a headache!" I whined again.

"Oh my god… if you don't stop whining I'm gonna shoot you." Judson growled from beside me.

"Hey, you have the option to go to sleep! Its not my fault you've been up for two days!"

"You know what, sleep sounds great." He teased as he settled into his seat and closed his eyes. I watched him for a moment before sending an elbow into his rib cage.

"OW! Shit…"

"Don't sleep in front of me dick."

"Don't take drinks from psychos dumbass."

Dean's phone rang and distracted us.

"Tell me you got something!... Yeah… What the hell, Bobby!... Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm just.. I'm-I'm-I'm tired."

Dean cracked his neck and sighed.

"What's Bela got?... Great! Well, I'm just gonna go blow my brains out now!" Dean shut the phone and threw it down, grunting as he gripped the wheel angrily.

"I told you that bitch was useless." I shot at Dean.

"All right, that's it. I'm done. I'm done!" Dean said as he pulled over and turned off the car.

"What are you doing?" Sam asked.

"Taking myself a long-overdue nap." "

"What?! Dean, Jeremy can come after you."

"That's the idea."

"Pretty stupid idea." I told them crossing my arms.

"You- don't get to say anything. You drank from the fountain of stupid too so shut up!" Sam said. I flipped him off.

"Come on man, we can't find him, so let him come to me." Dean said trying to convince Sam to go with it.

"On his own turf? Where he's basically a god?"

"I can handle it."

"Not alone, you can't." Sam said yanking a few of Dean's hairs out.

"Oh thank God! I'm down, give me some hair and lets sleep!" I said sitting up and leaning over the seat.

"No way." Both my brothers said simultaneously.

"What?!"

"No way am I letting YOU walk around in MY head… do you know how much porn is stashed up there?"

"Oh come on Dean! I'm not a virgin! You don't have to cover my eyes during sex scenes anymore! I just want to sleep! I can help fight the guy!"

"No way. We're gonna be sitting ducks while we're out, you and Judson need to stay up. Keep us alive form the real world side of things."

"Dean! Please!"

"No."

"Sam?!"

"Sorry Em. He's right." Sam said shrugging his shoulders.

"This is bullshit." I grumbled.

"Stop bitching and be quiet." Judson mumbled with his eyes closed. I stuck my tongue out at him. Then I leaned forward and punched each of my brothers in the ribs, they won't feel it now… but they will when they wake up. I smiled deviously as I sat back and sipped at the green tea.

"What the hell was that?" Judson asked.

"My petty revenge.""

"You're ridiculously stubborn… I mean can you really blame him for not wanting you digging around up there?

"Well it would make us even for once… Dean always knows what's going through my head."

"Its because he knows you so well. Not because he forced himself into your subconscious."

"Eh, tomato-tomahto."

"I just hope they get the bastard, so we can all actually get some sleep."

"Don't say the S word… it hurts."

"Your stupid." He chuckled.

I watched as Sam and Dean both began to flinch in their sleep… part of me began to worry.

"Think they're okay?"

"I think if anyone can do this, its gonna be them. Have a little faith."

I nodded and scooted forward, leaning over the seat and feeling both of their pulses. Dean's heart was racing. Sam's was a steady tempo.

I sat back and sighed… watching them carefully for the next several minutes.

Out of nowhere Sam's back arched and he groaned in what sounded like pain. I pushed forward and took his hand.

"Sammy… it's okay. You can do this." I whispered in his ear. He moved a little more but settled back down just as Dean started to shake his head back and forth over and over again. I reached up and felt his forehead, it was burning up and sweat poured down his face.

"Judson something's wrong."

"Huh?" He mumbled.

"Somethings happening… I don't know whats going on! He's burning up."

"Give him a minute and see if it calms down." He said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "He's probably facing some scary shit in there, imagine if you were stuck in your head with all your issues."

"That's not funny!" I shot back.

"I'm not trying to be funny, I'm being serious Em. Give him a minute and see if he calms down."

I sighed and watched Dean intently. He calmed down for a minute before thrashing in his seat again.

"No… No. don't deserve this.." He mumbled. My heart ached.

"I should have gone with them… maybe there's enough left to make some more."

"Emily no!" Judson sat up and yanked the flask away from me. "Are you crazy? The last thing you need to do is jump in there when shits hitting the fan!"

"I have to help him, please!"

"No, no way, I can't let you go in there. Help him from here."

"What the hell am I supposed to do form here Judson! I can't even see what's going on."

"Talk him through this. Remind him he's only stuck in his head, he can hear you."

I climbed over the seat and sat between my two enormous brothers, Sam seemed to be stirring as well, something was definitely going on.

"De… De its okay. I'm here." I whispered to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it… I don't want to die. Just fight this and come back to me okay?"

I squeezed Sam's hand tight as he mumbled in his sleep as well.

"Judson its not working, he's still burning up, and now Sam's starting."

"Okay, okay just take a breath. Let them fight this battle. Okay, they can do it. You trust them right?"

"Yeah but-"

"But nothing. Trust that they can beat this. Let them do this."

Everything in me felt like it was walking on pins and needles. I just wanted them to wake up! I sat between them, looking back and forth, watching as they both moved in their sleep, mumbling words, but they seemed to be fighting two different battles.

"I think he split them up… they're not together." I said nervously.

"Em, stop. Stop freaking out, okay? Its okay hun. They can do this."

"I just want to help."

"I know, you are. Just… be here for them. Keep them safe while their asleep."

Without warning Sam shot up next to me gasping for air, scaring the hell out of Judson and I both.

"Sam! Sam… What happened?!" I said taking his face into my hands. He panted for air.

"I. I killed him…sorta."

"Sorta? Well… it was by my hands but. He's. He's dead."

"Oh thank God." I sighed, hugging Sam to me. He hugged me back, kissing the top of my head. I turned, waiting for Dean to say something, but he didn't wake up.

"Sammy why isn't he awake?"

"I don't know. Jeremy is dead."

Dean still seemed to be fighting with something.

"Sammy something's wrong! I knew something was wrong… was Dean with you?"

"No, Jeremy split us up pretty quickly once we passed out."

"Dean! De! Wake up!" I said shaking him fiercely. "Dean! Please… I'm not ready! Okay I'm sorry! I take it all back please wake up!"

"Em, get in the back." Sam said as he pushed me aside and went to lightly slap Dean's face.

"Dean. Dean. Hey. Come on man wake up." He said as he too shook him and felt how feverish he was.

"Oh god… Sam what's happening?" I asked frantically. Judson put his arms on my shoulders and rubbed up and down, whispering to me to calm down.

"I don't know, he should be awake." Sam said. "Jeremy's dead I don't understand what he's seeing."

I ripped from Judson's grasp and moved out of the backseat, I pulled open the driver door and climbed in kneeling over Dean.

"Dean! Dean come back! Wake up!" I yelled, feeling full blown panic writhe inside me at how still he had become.

Dean's eyes flew open and were as wide as I've ever seen them as he flailed his arms and looked around frantically.

"De, De its okay! Its okay." I said as I pushed his arms down and threw my arms around his neck. "You're okay. We're okay."

He breathed heavily but after a moment wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. It didn't matter what fight we were in. It didn't matter who was right or wrong… I just needed him to be okay. And he just needed to know I was here, alive.

…..

Once Dean and I settled we started driving back to the motel. I waited until we were parked and Sam and Judson were climbing out to reach up and grab hold of Dean's arm, he looked back at me, without having to use words he knew I was asking if we could talk.

Sam and Judson looked back for a minute as Dean shut his door, but continued into the motel. I climbed over the seat and sat to where I was facing my whole body towards Dean.

"De. I owe you an apology… actually I owe you a lot of apologies, but this one will just have to do. I'm sorry for the things I said. I don't wish I was dead… I just. Wanted you to hurt as much as I did at the time."

"Babygirl, I know you're angry with me. And that's okay."

"But its not okay to take it out on you like I have been, all the guilt trips, the fights, the cutting you out… I know everything you've ever done was for me and Sammy. I'm sorry I've been giving you grief for it. I just… the thought of losing you scares me De. The thought of not being able to save you… it scares me. All this crap with my abilities, scares me. I feel like I'm losing myself, losing you… I just don't feel like I have anything to grab onto right now."

"Hey kiddo you look at me." Dean leaned down and grabbed my hands in his. "I'm still here. For as long as I can I'll be here, and you can ALWAYS grab onto me. But you really need to start grabbing hold of Sam… He's gonna be here. He loves you as much as I do, he will help you Em. Just let him."

"I need you too." I cried.

"No babygirl you don't. You can do this… but uh. For the record… I hope you do find a way to save me. I don't really wanna go to hell."

Something in his eyes was different.

Something in his head really got to him.

I stared at those soft familiar green eyes I've stared into my entire life and I knew the look… fear. He was scared to. Something in me found renewed strength. A will to fight. Fight like hell. I'm not losing my brother.

"I'm gonna save you De. Sammy and I… we're gonna save you." I said as I reached up and wrapped myself around him, he held me and we sat there, savoring the moment that we found a new hope.

Eventually we separated and walked inside the room with Bobby, Sam, and Judson. All three gave us an odd look, I rolled my eyes and walked straight to Sam. Taking Dean's advice and grabbing onto him, making him my solid ground for now. He's my constant in this crazy mess. I've neglected to recognize that, but now it makes a lot of sense, and I'm not letting go. My arms wrapped his waist and being the gentle giant he is he delicately moved my hair to the side and pinned it behind my ear so it didn't sit in my face.

"I love you Sammy."

"I love you too kiddo, lets get some sleep huh?"

I nodded.

"So you did a little dream-weaving of your own in here, huh?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah. I just sort of concentrated and it happened, you know?" Sam explained.

"Didn't have anything to do with... you know, your psychic stuff?"

"No. I mean, I don't think so. I haven't had anything since Em got hers."

"Good. And darling you didn't have any part in it?"

"Are you kidding me? These two assholes made me sit it out. Worried me half to death the entire time." I said looking between them.

"Hey, you guys seen Bela? She's not in her room. She's not answering her phone." Dean asked.

"Good. Maybe she left." I smiled.

"Em's right. She probably took off or something." Sam agreed.

"Just like that? That's a little weird." Judson added.

"Yeah well, if you ask me what's weird is why she helped us in the first place." Bobby said walking over to the table.

"I thought you saved her life." Dean said as he furrowed his brows.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"The thing in Flagstaff. "

"That thing in Flagstaff was an amulet. I gave her a good deal, that's all."

I sat for a second and thought… she wouldn't help Bobby for that. She's playing an angle.

"I think we should check our pockets."

Sam and Dean both started patting at their jeans. I rolled my eyes and found Bobby doing the same thing.

"Not literally. Idjits." Bobby grumbled.

Dean's face contorted before he looked at Sam, then at the safe.

"No, no, no, no." Dean said as he walked over and opened the safe."Dammit!"

"The Colt." Sam sighed.

"Bela stole the Colt?!" I snapped.

"Damn it, boys!"

"Pack you crap." Dean demanded getting his bag.

"Why? Where are we going?" I asked.

"We're gonna go hunt the bitch down."

"Dean. We're all exhausted. Let us knock out a few hours of sleep… Bela already has a huge head start on us. 6 hours isn't going to make a difference at this point."

"Well you kids get to sleep then, I'll head out and see if I can't pick up her tracks." Bobby said grabbing his already packed bag.

"Thanks Bobby. We really appreciate that."

"Yeah yeah yeah… just get to sleep so you can get your ass in gear."

"Yes sir." I smiled as I hugged him. He kissed me on the cheek and walked out.

"Alright. I'm gonna go pass out." Judson said as he followed Bobby out the door.

"I think we all are." Sam sighed as he flopped down onto the bed. I flopped down next to him and we were asleep in minutes.

No dreams.

No nightmares.

No interruptions.

Just sleep… long awaited, desperately needed sleep.

….

"Em. Wake up kiddo." Dean shook me awake gently.

"Mmm… how long was I out?"

"About 5 hours, we packed all your stuff, you can sleep some more in the car but we need to get going okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

I sat up and stretched. I ran to the bathroom to change and freshen up a bit, knowing we'd be on the road for a while. When I came out the boys were outside in the parking lot. I stepped out and started towards them, but instead I walked over to the big black truck at the end of the row.

"Well if it isn't sleeping beauty." Judson teased, crossing his arms and leaning against the truck.

"Did you get some sleep?"

"Yeah, I got in a few hours."

"So you tagging along for our witch hunt?"

"Nah, I got wind of a case not too far form here. Gonna go handle it and then maybe check in with Bobby. If you guys haven't caught her by then maybe I can help cover some ground."

"So you're leaving…"

I felt the disappointment sink in.

"What did you think I was gonna follow you three around forever? No way… too much drama." He said as he winked at me.

"You're an ass. Be careful, holler if you need anything."

"You too Winchester… I'm only a phone call away. And I'm here to talk if you need me."

"Thanks, but… I think I'm gonna be pretty busy. Hey if you find any new info on demon deals while you're out there let me know okay?"

"Still think you can save him?"

"I don't know… but I know he doesn't wanna die. So I'm gonna fight like hell to save him."

"I'll keep my eyes open for anything that can help then, oh and for the record… I was never on Dean's side. I'm on your side. I hope you can save him too. I just want to know that you'll survive it if you can't."

"Well… I don't know if that's possible. So I guess I'll just have to save him to save us both."

"Stubborn Winchesters." He said as he shook his head.

"Bye Judson." I said as I turned to walk away.

"I'll see you around, Emily."

I walked back towards the impala and sighed as I climbed in the backseat. My eyes glued to the truck as it pulled out in the opposite direction.

"Kiddo." Dean called.

"Yeah?"

"You sure you don't have a thing for him? Cause you kinda got that lost puppy dog look on your face right now." He teased, Sam turned and grinned at me.

"Oh my god... shut up and drive."


	54. Chapter 54

HEY GUYS! So my laptop died, and I'm waiting on the replacement battery to come in the mail... so sorry its taking so long. I literally can't WAIT to start writing again, I was working on mystery spot when it died on me so that will be the next chapter! There isn't much Judson in it... but don't worry. He's not far away. Love you guys and thank you for all your support! I promise I'll have the next chapter up ASAP... come on Amazon! I need this battery!

Love you all, please don't be angry for the wait! Its killing me too!

AmyyTayy


	55. Chapter 55

Author's Note: I'm Baaaaaaaaack! FINALLY got my laptop working. Its 6 years old and sadly on the verge of needing to be replaced but after a couple weeks of swapping parts and chargers and batteries we finally have it working again (for now) so I've been writing all day to get this to you guys! I'd reeeeeally love to get us past that 200 reviews mark! So please let me know what's going through your head! I promise Judson is not far, as a matter of fact I've already written a large chunk of the next chapter and its got plenty of him in it! So if you're missing him as much as I do then don't fret, he's close by. Love you guys! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and supporting Emily's story! Please keep going! There is going to be an original chapter up next then back to the story line and closer and closer to the finale! Its going to be a doozy you won't want to miss! I've got lots of ideas buzzing in my head! Love yall!

 _Heat of the moment…_

"Rise and shine, kids!"

Dean's voice caused me to jump awake, I groaned and rolled back over, burying my face under Sam's arm. He also groaned and moved around, turning towards the obnoxiously loud alarm radio. Dean was sitting on the bed across from us tying his shoes bright eyed and bushy tailed.

"Dude. Asia?" Sam asked as he listened to the music coming out of the obnoxious radio.

"Come on. You love this song and you know it."

"Yeah, and if I ever hear it again I'm gonna kill myself." I mumbled, still attempting to hide under Sam.

"What? Sorry, couldn't hear you." Dean said as he cranked up the volume, I could feel Sam laughing beside me.

 _It was the heat of the moment …_ it rang in my head over and over again until I surrendered and finally climbed out of the bed. I got up and brushed my teeth, Dean barged in and began loudly gargling beside me. I rolled my eyes and finished as quickly as I could. I walked back out and sat on the side of the bed Indian style. I picked up the phone and sighed as I scrolled through the still empty message box. I scrolled over to his name and snap the phone shut, tossing it on the bed behind me.

"Still nothing huh?" Dean asked as he began digging through his duffle, this caused Sam to stop what he was doing and turn towards us.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I smiled as I stood.

"Its only been a week kiddo."

Yeah. A week. 7 whole days since I've seen him, heard from him, and I don't know why… but its bugging the hell out of me.

"Dean, that's not even what I was thinking about. I was checking for a message from Luke."

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Don't you realize by now you can't lie to me?" He asked cockily. I shrugged him off and began lacing up my boots.

"Maybe you should call him." Sam suggested.

"Sam. I'm not calling him. Why would I call him? If you want to talk to him then you call him, cause I don't want to call him. Okay?" I rambled. Sam shot me a strange look and held up his hands in surrender, I could see the hint of laughter hidden in his expression.

"Ha. Looks like Catalina left me a little gift from the other night." Dean smiled as he pulled a black bra out of his bag."

"Hey, what size is that?" I asked.

"Uh, 36D… Hm. Yeah." Dean got that look on his face that makes me want to puke, but I was fixing to get my revenge.

"Hey De." I smiled, catching Sam's eye, he knew what was coming. "That's actually mine, musta left it in the wrong bag."

Dean's face quickly fell, then turned into one of disgust before he flung the bra at me.

"Ew! Seriously?! Keep your nasties in your own damn bag!" He yelled as Sam and I laughed, he quickly wiped his hands on his jeans. "Since when are you a D anyways?"

"Since my tits got bigger Dean, I don't know. I just am." I shrugged standing. "You ready to go?"

"He kept digging through the bag till he pulled out his gun.

"BINGO!" He smiled. "Now who's ready for some breakfast?"

We drove into town and stopped in at the first diner we came across, it was small, but nice. It smelt like good ole home cooking. The walls were wood paneling and it had a row of booths and the rest were barstools up at the front. We quickly took a booth at the open window and grabbed a menu that was stashed behind the salt and pepper shakers.

"Drive safely now, Mr. Pickett." The cashier chimed. An old man waved him off.

"Can't stay unless you order something, Cal. You know the rules." The waitress said to a man at the bar, he slid her some change and requested a coffee.

I looked around the walls and quickly noticed a sign with the specials written on it in colorful chalk. I nudged Dean.

"Hey. Tuesday. Pig in a poke." I said pointing to the sign. He nodded appreciatively.

"You even know what that is?" Sam asked.

"No. But I'm fixin to find out."

"You three ready?" A sweet older waitress came by and asked. I like it when they're not young and pretty. That means Dean will actually be focused on the case.

"Yes. I'll have the special, side of bacon and a coffee."

"Make that two and a water with lemon please." I smiled.

"Coffee and a short stack." Sam smiled.

"You got it." She said as she gathered the menus and walked away.

"I'm telling you, Sam, this job is small fry. We should be spending our time hunting down Bela."

Or seeing what Judson's hunting.

"Okay, sure, let's get right on that. Where is she again?" Sam asked.

"Shut up." Dean groaned.

"Look. Believe me, I want to find her as bad as you do. In the meantime, we have this, all right, so this professor, Dexter Hasselback was passing through town last week when he vanished."

"Last known location?"

"His daughter says he was on his way to visit the Broward County Mystery Spot."

"Where the laws of physics have no meaning." I said suspiciously as I read the back of the flyer Sam handed us.

Doris the waitress quickly appears with food and drink in hand, we cleared the table as she began to set things down.

"Two coffees, black, and some hot sauce for the— " She gasped as the hot sauce falls and shatters on the floor. "Whoops. Crap! Sorry… Cleanup!"

…

We walked down the side walk, past barking dogs, looking for any sign of something weird leading up to this 'mystery spot'.

"Sam, joints like this are only tourist traps, right? I mean, you know, balls rolling uphill, furniture nailed to the ceiling, they're only dangerous to your wallet." Dean sighed.

"Okay, look, I'm just saying, there are spots in the world where holes open up and swallow people. The Bermuda Triangle, uh, the Oregon Vortex—"

"Broward County Mystery Spot? Really?" I questioned. Personally I think we're wasting our time here.

"Well sometimes these places are legit." Sam defended.

"All right, so if it is legit, and that's a big-ass if, what's the lore?"

"Well—" Dean started, but he ran into a young blonde carrying a stack of papers.

"Excuse me." She said sheepishly before moving on quickly.

"The lore's pretty frigging nuts, actually. They say these places the magnetic fields are so strong that they can bend spacetime, sending victims no one knows where." Sam finished for him.

"Sounds a little X-Files to me."

Sam rolled his eyes at me, and stepped in front of me.

"Look Em, I know you're trying to pretend you're not mad that Judson hasn't called or whatever, but don't take that out on the case. You're not gonna be happy doing anything right now, so if you don't want to be on my side fine, but stop fighting against me."

I stared at him and flipped him the bird before pushing past and walking forward.

I'm not mad that Judson hasn't called… or texted… or showed up mysteriously like he seems to do. I don't look at every black truck a little harder than usual, and I sure as hell don't spend at least thirty minutes a night debating on calling him my damnself.

I huffed as I walked around two movers trying to shove a desk into a too small doorway, ignoring their bickering and the sound of my brothers coming up behind me.

"I'm sory Em." Sam called out. I stopped and turned to look at him. "All right, look, I'm not saying this is really happening, but if it is, we gotta check it out, see if we can do something. Please Em."

"All right, all right, we'll go tonight after they close, get ourselves a nice long look." I caved.

We wandered back to the motel and I spent the next several hours cleaning weapons with Dean while Sam 'researched' like always.

"Hey Em." Dean said quietly as he slid me another rag.

"Hm?"

"You still sticking to the whole 'I don't like him' story or what?"

"Dean." I groaned. "What the hell do you want from me?"

"I want you to admit that you like him."

"Well I don't! So if you want me to admit that then I'll just be lying to you!"

"You know, I think he could be good for you. He's not a bad hunter, got his head squared on his shoulders right, and he doesn't get you naked every time you're with him…. Unlike another boy I know."

I sighed.

"Dean, Luke was different… he wasn't like that and you know it."

"Maybe not, but he still broke your heart. And that means I get to beat him up." Dean grinned. I laughed.

"He didn't break my heart Dean, I broke my own heart… I shouldn't have gone back. We both know that."

"Yeah maybe… still. He screwed my sister. I'm gonna cut his thing off."

"Dean!" I yelled trying not to laugh. "Leave that boy and his.. his… thing, alone!"

"I'll help." Sam chimed from across the room.

"No! You won't." I giggled. "I love you two morons but this isn't his fault… I mean a demon possessed him and I nearly killed him without even touching him. I think he had a right to ask me not to come back."

Plus the part where the same demon that possessed him almost raped me. Yeah. Lets leave that out…

"Maybe." Dean shrugged. "But he still made you cry, that qualifies him for at least a good beating."

"Fine." I snorted. Causing Dean to shoot me a classic Dean smile… I love that smile.

….

We made our way to the mystery spot around midnight or so. This place was creepier than I expected. The walls were neon green with black spirals. Things were glued and nailed upside down, there were black lights everywhere.

"Find anything?" Dean asked after a while of us moving from room to room searching. The EMF was silent, not even a beep.

"No. Sam do we have any idea what we're even looking for?"

"Uh ... yeah." Sam shrugged. I stared him down. "…No."

"What the hell are you doing here?" A voice commands our attention, we turn to find the owner with a shotgun, pointed straight at Dean.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Whoa. We can explain." Dean said with his own gun raised, as was mine and Sam's.

"You robbing me?"

"Look, nobody's robbing you, calm down." I said soothingly, hoping he would focus on me instead of Dean. He did for a moment but Dean's arms moved and he immediately turned back to him.

"Don't move!" The owner yelled frantically.

"Just putting my gun down." Dean said slowly as he lowered his arms, but the owner unexpectedly fires and blood flies from Dean's chest.

"DEAN!" I screamed, dropping my gun and running to him, he fell to his knees.

"Dean! Dean no no no… no!"

"Call 911!" Sam yelled to the owner who looked shocked at his own gunfire.

"Sam! Sammy! Help!" I cried as I lifted Dean's head into my lap, unsure of where exactly the bleeding was coming from, it was all over his torso, pouring out of different holes in his shirt.

"Hey, hey, oh, no, no, no ... not like this... " Sam cried as he kneeled down next to us.

"De come on! Get up! Get up! Please!" I sobbed. "Don't go!" I shook him, he looked up to me with sorrow filling his eyes… until they went blank. He stopped breathing. Stopped moving.

"NO! Dean!"

Sam moved to wrap his arms around me as I screamed.

….

 _Heat of the moment_

"Rise and shine kids!"

Dean's voice caused me to jump awake. I quickly realized I was cuddled under Sam's arms, he also began to stir next to me. I breathed heavily. My heart still full of that sinking feeling, like something was wrong… way wrong.

"Em you okay?" Sam asked form beside me, noticing my stance.

"Yeah. I uh… I don't know."

"Dude. Asia?" Sam asked sitting up.

"Oh, come on, you love this song and you know it." Dean smiled turning it up and singing along.

I quietly made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but stopped as Dean walked over and began gargling loudly beside me. I stared at him. He spit.

"What?"

I looked down and rinsed out my mouth.

"I don't know." I mumbled.

This… this is weird. Its… I don't know. I don't understand what's happening.

"You all right?" He asked as he wiped his mouth.

"Yeah. Yeah… I think I—I had a weird dream."

"Yeah? Clowns or midgets?"

Instead of answering him I walked back out to find Sam putting on his boots. I sat down next to him and leaned my head against his shoulder, reaching for my phone.

"You okay kiddo?"

"Just a bad dream." I sighed as I scrolled through my empty message box… again.

"Maybe you should call him Em."

….

I followed my brothers carefully as we walked into the same diner as I remembered.

"Drive safely now, Mr. Pickett."

The old man…. Cal buying coffee…

"Hey. Tuesday. Pig in a poke." Dean smiled as he nudged me and pointed up to the chalk board on the wall that listed the specials.

"It's Tuesday?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah." Sam answered starting at me, watching me.

"Are you three ready?" The waitress asked.

"Yes, I'll have the special, side of bacon and a coffee." Dean ordered.

"Coffee and a short stack." Sam smiled, the waitress then turned to me.

"Uh, nothing for me, thanks."

"Let me know if you change your mind sweetie."

"You sure you're okay?" Sam asked.

I looked at him but couldn't really find the words to answer… this. This is wrong.

"I'm telling you, Sam, this job is small fry. We should be spending our time hunting down Bela." Dean said.

Just like last time….

"Hey." Sam snapped his fingers in my face. I didn't even realize my jaw was hanging slightly open and that I was staring at Dean.

"You with us Em?" Dean asked noticing I was staring at him.

"What?" I said confused.

"You sure you feel okay kiddo, you wanna go lay down?"

"You two don't—you don't remember? Any of this?" I asked slowly. They exchanged that look where they talk about me right in front of me.

"Remember what?" Sam asked.

"This. Today. Like it's—like it's ... happened before?"

"You mean like déjà vu?" Dean asked.

"No, I mean like, like it's really happened before." I insisted. My breathing picking up. I could feel panic rising.

"Yeah. Like déjà vu."

"No, forget about déjà vu. I'm asking you if it feels like, like we're living yesterday all over again."

"Okay, how is that not dé— "

"Dean!" I said angrily. "Don't, don't say it! Just don't even..."

"Emily I think Dean's right sweetheart… maybe we should go back, let you get some rest."

"I don't need rest I need you to focus Sam! We've been here before!"

"Coffee, black, and some hot sauce for the—oops! Crap!"

I reached out and grabbed the hot sauce as it fell. Staring at the bottle as I handed it back to the waitress.

"Thanks." She smiled, setting it down on the table and leaving.

"Nice reflexes." Dean said putting a hand on my back.

I sighed in frustration and looked around in confusion.

This… this is all wrong.

…..

We walked down the street… barking dogs.

"Em, I'm sorry, but I don't know what the hell you're talking about." Sam sighed.

"Okay, look. Yesterday was Tuesday, right? But today is Tuesday too."

"Yeah. No. Good. You're totally balanced." Dean mocked.

"So you don't believe me?! Either of you! C'mon Sam! You're supposed to be the smart one!"

"Hey!" Dean said in offense. I ignored him as he bumped into the same shy blonde girl. "Look, I'm just saying that it's crazy, you know, I mean, even for us crazy. Dingo ate my baby crazy. Hey, maybe its like Sam's psychic premonitions. Maybe your abilities are acting up… you've been stressed all week about Judson and Bel-

"FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME I DON'T LIKE HIM!" I yelled. " And no. This isn't a premonition… no way, way too vivid. Okay, look, we were at the Mystery Spot, and then—"

My throat felt like it closed at the memory of Dean dying in my arms.

"And then what?" Sam asked.

"Then I woke up." I mumbled.

We walked past the same two movers and the same ugly brown desk that wouldn't fit.

"Wait a minute! The Mystery Spot. You think maybe it— "

"Maybe what?"

"We gotta check that place out. Look, just – go with me on this, okay?" I asked.

"All right, all right, we'll go tonight, after close, get ourselves a nice long look." Dean suggested.

"Wait! No! No…" I said frantically.

"Why not?" Sam asked.

"Uhh– Let's just go now. Right now. Business hours, nice and crowded." I stuttered.

"My God, you're being weird today." Dean said shaking his head and walking forward.

"Em, are you sure this isn't your abilities?" Sam asked me as we began to walk behind Dean.

"No… Sam. I promise."

"Okay, well then lets go see what's what."

I leaned in and hugged him from the side as we walked, Dean a few feet ahead.

As we walked I briefly heard tires squeal before a car came out of nowhere and ran Dean over.

"Dean!" I screamed. I released Sam and ran over to Dean. The car came to a stop just ahead of us.

"DEAN! No… no no no no no no!" I cried as I sat him and laid him in my lap.

"Dean! Oh no. Dean.." Sam said.

I looked up and saw that the man climbing out of the car was the same one from the diner… the one with the keys.

"Come on! Dean." I cried as I shook him to keep him away. But he wasn't moving… he wasn't responding. I felt for a pulse and found nothing.

"No! No… not again!" I cried as I gripped onto Sam and fell against him. He held me tightly.

…..

 _Heat of the moment._

"Rise and shine kids!"

I flew forward, out from under Sam's arm. Breathing heavily. I stared over at Dean as he sang along to the radio and tied his shoes.

Then I stared at him again as he brushed his teeth and gargled loudly next to me…. Again.

Then again in the diner as he nudged me and pointed to the chalkboard.

"Hey. Tuesday. Pig in a poke." He smiled.

"Okay, would you listen to me, Dean? 'Cause I am flipping the fuck out!"

I spent the whole walk over here trying to convince the boys what the hell was happening.

"Are you three ready?" The waitress asked.

I looked up to her in aggravation.

"He'll take the special side of bacon, he'll take short stacks, both coffee, black, and nothing for me. Thanks."

She stared at me funny, as did the boys, but quickly walked away.

"Hey Em, I get all tingly when you take control like that." Dean teased.

"Quit screwing around, Dean! I'm serious!"

"Okay. Okay. We're listening. So, so – you think that you're in some kind of a what again?" Sam asked.

"Time loop." I sighed

"Like Groundhog Day?" Dean asked.

"Yes, exactly. Like Groundhog Day!"

"Uh-huh." Dean nodded. Sharing a look with Sam.. THE look… the 'shes lost her damn mind' look.

"So you don't believe me?" I demanded. Looking between the two of them.

"It's just a little crazy." Dean laughed. "I mean even for us crazy, you know, like, uh—"

"Dingo ate my baby crazy?" I said staring Dean in the eyes.

"How'd you know I was going to say that?"

"Because you said it before, Dean, that's my whole point."

"Coffee, black, and some hot sauce for the—whoops! Crap." Doris said as the hot sauce fell. I reached out and grabbed it.

"Thanks." She smiled before leaving.

"Nice reflexes." Dean said patting me on the back.

"No. I knew it was going to happen Dean!"

"Okay, look. I'm sure that there's some sort of an explanation—" Sam sighed.

"You're just going to have to go with me on this, Sam, you just have to, you owe me that much!" I said feeling myself get worked up.

"Calm down–" Dean tried.

"Don't tell me to calm down! I can't calm down. I can't. Because—" My breath kept trying to catch in my throat.

"Whoa… deep breaths kiddo. Deep breaths. You're okay." Dean chanted in my ear as I put my face in my hands and tried to stop the panic attack.

"Em talk to us… why are you so worked up right now?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because you die, today, Dean."

Dean and Sam both shot me strange looks.

"I'm not gonna die. Not today." He tried to reassure me.

"Twice now I've watched you die, and I can't— I won't do it again, okay? You're just going to have to believe me. Please."

"Em this isn't the first time you've dreamed about Dean dying." Sam whispered.

"But this time its not a dream! Its real! The blood… the-the fear. The way my heart sinks into my gut… its not a dream. Please. You have to believe me." I begged.

"All right. I still think you're nuts, but okay, whatever this is, we'll figure it out." Dean said pulling me to sit closer to him. Sam reached over and squeezed my hand. But I still didn't miss the worrying glances they shot each other.

….

We walked down the street…. Passed the dog. The blonde girl… the movers.

"So you think this cheesy-ass tourist trap has something to do with it?" Dean asked.

"Maybe it's the real deal, you know? The, the magnetic fields bending spacetime or whatever."

"I don't know, it all seems a little too "X-Files" for me." Sam admitted.

"Well, I don't know how else to explain it!" I yelled.

"All right! All right. We'll go tonight after they close, get ourselves a nice long look." Dean said.

"No no no no no, we can't."

"Why not?"

Because y–y–ou—"

"I what?"

I stared at him, unable to finish.

"I die there?"

"Blown away, actually." I whispered.

"Huh. Okay, let's go now." Sam suggested as I leaned against him. Dean began walking, and I heard the tires.

"DEAN NO!" I reached forward and grabbed his sleeve, yanking him backwards, the car missing him by mere inches.

"Stay out of the way!" The old man yelled.

"Wait, did he –?"

"Yesterday. Yeah." I sighed.

"And?"

"And what Dean?"

"Did it look cool, like in the movies?" He asked with a smile.

"You peed yourself." I said crossing my arms.

His face fell, then he quickly felt embarrassed.

"Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on!" He quickly defended. He carefully looked both ways before walking forward. I walked along side Sam.

"Hey Emily, is it just Dean who dies?"

"Yeah. So far… usually it ends with Dean dying and you holding me. Us both crying like babies."

"Do you think… do you think maybe this has something to do with his deal? Since its just him dying."

"I don't know Sammy. Whatever it is. I'm glad you can't remember it all… because its horrible."

…..

"How long have you owned the place, Mr. Carpiak?" Dean asked as we stood in the mystery spot.

"Well, my family's been guarding the secrets here since you don't want to know when."

"So you'd know if anything strange happened." I asked.

"Strange? Strange happens here all the time. It's a Mystery Spot."

I'm going to strangle this sorry mother fucker.

"What exactly does that mean?" I asked in a tight voice.

"Well, uh ... it's where the laws of physics have no meaning."

"Okay, like how?" I asked angrily, restraining myself.

"Take the tour."

I opened my mouth to speak but Sam quickly put his hand over it, and Dean started to speak instead.

"The guy who went missing, Dexter Hasselback, he take the tour?" Dean asked.

"Uh, uh, hold on a minute, what kind of article is this?"

"Just answer the question!" I growled.

"The police scoured every inch of this place. They couldn't find that man. I never seen him before. We're a family establishment—"

I got tired of this and jumped in his face.

"Listen to me. There is something weird going on here. Now do you know anything about it or not?"

"Okay. Look. Guys. Um. Give me a break. I bought the joint at a foreclosure auction last March, all right? Hell, I used to sell bail bonds."

I stared at him as the walls around us began to shake. Dean quickly grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Okay, Kojak, let's get some air."

Dean pulled us back outside as we walked back towards the motel.

"Well, I hate to say it, but that place is exactly what I thought - it's full of crap." Dean sighed.

"Then what is it, Dean, what the hell is happening to us?"

"I don't know. All right, let me just – So, every day I die?"

"Yeah."

"And that's when you wake up again, right?" Sam asked.

"Yeah."

"So let's just make sure Dean doesn't die. If he makes it to tomorrow, then maybe the loop stops and we can figure all this out."

"You think?" I asked Sam hopeful.

"It's worth a shot. I say we grab some takeout and head back to the motel, lay low until midnight."

I nodded anxiously, shaky. Sam wrapped an arm around me and Dean kissed my cheek before walking forward.

"All right, good. Who wants Chinese?" He asked as he took two steps forward… only to be crushed by that same damn desk that couldn't fit through the door. I looked up and realized the same two movers had been trying to lift it through the window…

I felt my body give way but never felt myself hit the ground.

….

 _Heat of the moment._

"Rise and shine kids!"

Dean's voice woke me up… that same damn song floated through my ears.

"No… no no no…" I cried against Sam. He stirred awake slowly beside me.

"Emily?" He asked as I curled into him, clutching onto the only constant solid thing I had right now. The only thing that wasn't being ripped away from me. "Sweetheart what's wrong?" He asked as he turned and curled his arms around me.

"Kiddo?" Dean asked standing and walking over to Sam and I.

I sobbed and clung to sam. I give up! I don't know what to do anymore…. I don't know what to expect. I don't know how to make it stop! I just want it to stop!

"Em sweetie calm down, its okay. You're okay." Sam whispered to me.

"She have a nightmare or something?" Dean asked.

"I don't know man… you know as much as I do."

After I calmed down I forced the boys to sit and listen as I told them EVERYTHING…. All about the last 3 Tuesdays and Dean dying, and the time loop, and the diner, and the dog, and the blonde, and the movers, and the desk, and the mystery spot….

"Okay. I still think you're nuts, but ... whatever this is, we'll figure it out." Dean said sliding me a cup of hot tea to calm my nerves.

"Thanks." I whispered.

"So, uh ... If you're stuck in "Groundhog Day", why? What's behind it?" Sam asked.

"Well, first I thought it was the Mystery Spot. Now I'm not so sure."

"What do we do?" Dean asked.

"Well, we keep you breathing. Try to make it to tomorrow. I mean, that's the only thing I can think of."

"Shouldn't be too hard." He shrugged.

"Yeah, right. Dean, I've watched you die a few times now and I can't ever seem to stop it."

"Well, nothing's set in stone. You said we go to breakfast every day?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. Pig in a poke, side of bacon." I shuddered.

"Okay, so. We skip breakfast. We stay in the room, order take out only… don't let Dean out of our sight. We can do this Em. I promise. We'll figure it out."

"Okay." I nodded.

"So is it the entire world is in a time loop or just us? I mean have you tried contacting anyone outside of town?"

"Uh. No. Actually I haven't."

"Well… now would be a good time."

Sam handed me the phone. I sighed as I stepped outside of the room and took a deep breath. I dialed the first number that came to mind. Judson.

It rang… and rang… and eventually it went to voicemail.

"Hey, uh. Its Em. I uh… I could really use your help." My voice began to crack. "Judson… please. I'm gonna lose him. He just. Keeps dying… and its Tuesday again and again and again… I know I'm not making any sense here but please. Trust me. I need your help."

I closed the phone and took a deep breath. I wiped my eyes and opened the motel door, I looked over to see Dean sitting on the end of the bed relaxing.

"So?"

"No answer."

"Well I guess this is where we get comfortable." Dean sighed as he laid back."

I turned to shut the door, when I did, I heard a funny noise. I looked around, and out of nowhere the ceiling fan fell out of the ceiling landing on Dean's head.

I screamed.

…...

(An uncounted number of Tuesday's later.)

 _Heat of the moment._

"Rise and shine kids!"

I continued the morning as usual. Spending the first hour of the day explaining the time loop… we've tried staying at the motel several times… Dean dies anyways. So we decide to go out for breakfast like usual.

"So the police report says Dexter Hasselback is a professor, but that's not all he is." Sam said as Dean and He ate their breakfast. I keep trying to stay calm. To not panic. To try and find something that's off in this picture, that could be my only key to stopping all this.

"What is he?" I asked.

"I talked to his daughter. Guy's quite the journalist. Columns in magazines, a blog. He writes about tourist attractions. Mystery spots, UFO crash sites—he gets his kicks debunking them. I mean, he's already put four of these places out of business. Here."

"He turned the laptop towards Dean and I, showing his blog and his picture.

"Dexter Hasselback, truth warrior? More like a pompous schmuck, you ask me." Dean said.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Sam sighed.

"Alright, lets finish up here." I suggested. Sam puts away his laptop and Dean begins to laugh.

"What?" I asked him.

"I just, it's just funny, you know, I mean, this guy spends his whole life crapping on Mystery Spots and then he vanishes into one. It's kinda poetic, you know, just desserts."

Holy. Fuck.

"You're right, that is just desserts." I mumbled aloud agreeing with him. I looked around the room, not ready to follow Dean and Sam just yet…. looking for any sign of him. My eyes fell on the plate of pancakes the man at the bar eats every day… every day with maple syrup.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked.

"Guy has maple syrup for the last hundred Tuesdays, all of a sudden he's having strawberry?" I asked pointing to the pink syrup on the plate.

"It's a free country. Man can't choose his own syrup, huh? What have we become?" Dean asked.

"Not in this diner. Not today. Nothing in this place ever changes. Ever. Except me."

Gotcha bitch.

….

 _Heat of the moment._

I sat up in the bed and smiled.

I rushed the boys to get ready and go to the diner for breakfast, not wasting anytime on telling them about the time loop. Not today… no. Because I have you now you son of a bitch.

I grabbed the stake out of my bag and slid it into the cut on in inside of my green khaki jacket. I was silent as the boys walked and discussed the case. Looking around for any sign of him.

As we entered the diner I stared at the back of the man who has pancakes every day at the bar. He's wearing a light colored suit and an ugly tie. Coffee with about a dozen ripped open sugar packets… should have known. Dammit. I could have spared myself all this torture. All this pain.

I'm gonna slaughter this bastard.

The boys sat down and ordered, I carefully watched the man eat.

"Man. This case is little leagues. We should be looking for Bela." Dean whined

"Sure, do you have any idea where she might be?" Sam asked.

"Both of you shut up and eat your breakfast." I said flatly. The man at the bar got up to leave and I quickly looked away from him, waiting for him to exit the diner, when he did I followed, my and in my jacket.

"Em? What are you doing?"

I ignored my brothers and charged out the door, following the man, waiting for him to round a corner somewhere.

When my opportunity arose I slammed him against a fence and held the stake to his throat.

"Hey!" He yelled.

"I know who you are. Or should I say, what." I growled at him.

"Oh my god, please don't kill me." The man begged.

"Uh, Em?" Dean's voice called from behind me.

"Emily calm down." Sam reasoned.

"It took me a hell of a long time but I got it." I told the man."

"What?"

"It's your MO that gave you away. Going after pompous jerks, giving them their just desserts—your kind loves that, don't they?"

"Yeah, sure, okay." He said looking nervously at the stake. "Just put the stake down!"

"Emily, maybe you should—"

"No! There's only one creature powerful enough to do what you're doing. Making reality out of nothing, sticking people in time loops—in fact you'd pretty much have to be a god. You'd have to be a Trickster."

"Listen, my name is Ed Coleman, my wife's name is Amelia, I got two kids, for crying out loud I sell ad space—"

"Don't lie to me!" I yelled. "I know what you are! We've killed one of your kind before!"

"Actually sweetheart… you didn't."

The man morphed into the trickster from the college.

Sam and Dean looked shocked, finally realizing I wasn't crazy.

"You?" I asked… "Why are you doing this?"

"You're joking, right? You chuckleheads tried to kill me last time. Why wouldn't I do this? Even you darling."

"And Hasselback, what about him?" Dean asked.

"That putz? He said he didn't believe in wormholes, so I dropped him in one. Then you guys showed up. I made you the second you hit town."

"So this is fun for you? Killing Dean over and over again? Making me watch… making Sam think I was going crazy."

"One, yes. It is fun. And two? This is so not about killing Dean. This joke is on you, Emily. Watching your brother die, every day? Forever?"

"You son of a bitch." I said feeling a tear roll down my face at the thought of this day NEVER ending.

"How long will it take you to realize? You can't save your brother. No matter what."

"Shut the fuck up!... I kill you. And this all ends."

"Oh-oh, hey, whoa! Okay. Look. I was just playing around. You can't take a joke, fine. You're out of it. Tomorrow, you'll wake up and it'll be Wednesday. I swear."

"You're lying."

"Not to you my favorite Winchester… see I only picked on you because of that sting of rejection. You used to like me ya know? Before you realized that I was a trickster. I didn't forget about the flirting. Did you? Now. IF I'm lying. You'll know where to find me… having pancakes at the diner."

I looked back and forth between my brothers and the trickster… debating. I'd do anything to let Dean live… even if it meant letting him go. But- what if he's lying. What if it never stops.

I can't do this anymore!

"No. I can't do it anymore! I can't watch him die again. You- you could be lying… I have to kill you."

I lifted the stake, but the trickster moved unexpectedly and mid swing shoved me to the side, I stumbled, but not before the stake landed into something…. Someone.

"Dean!" I yelled as I released the stake that was now shoved into his heart.

"NO!" I cried falling to my knees. Sam caught Dean as he fell backwards.

"Sorry, kiddo. Can't have you killing me." The trickster said dusting off his hands.

"NO! You bastard! You fix this! BRING HIM BACK!" I said shoving him repeatedly.

"Who, Dean? I'll have my girl send you flowers. Dean's dead. He ain't coming back. His soul's downstairs doing the hellfire rumba as we speak."

"NO!" I screamed. "Please… please. Just take us back to another Tuesday… please. I swear we won't hunt you!"

"You swear?" He asked suspiciously.

"Yes! We swear." I looked over to Sam who nodded in agreeance as he held Dean's body, crying.

"I don't know. Even if I could—"

"You can!"

"True. But that don't mean I should. Emily, there's a lesson here that I've been trying to drill into that pretty little head of yours."

"Lesson? What lesson?" I asked frantically.

"This obsession to save Dean? The way you Winchester's keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Your brothers are your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Emily. Sometimes you just gotta let people go."

"He's our brother… please. I'm begging you." I cried.

"Yup. And like it or not, this is what life's gonna be like without him. Maybe I should let you test drive it for a while."

"No! Please… please don't do this to me, to Sam. I'll do anything!"

"Oh Emily… I swear, it's like talking to a brick wall. Okay, look. This all stopped being fun weeks ago. We just talked about this mess of saving each other over and over again."

"Look! Stop fucking around! Either you're gonna do this or you aren't. So please… are you going to help us?!"

He shook his head and then raised his hand, snapping his fingers.

….

 _Promise me I'll be back in time._

I sat up, realizing I was again laying in bed next to Sam. Dean across the room putting on his shirt.

"No Asia?" I mumbled.

"I know, this station sucks." Dean groaned walking over and turning it off. I looked down at the clock.

"Its Wednesday?!"

"Uh… yeah?" Dean shot me a funny look. I jumped out of the bed and ran, tackling him in a hug.

"Whoa kiddo! How many Tuesdays did you have?"

"Enough. Come on, pack up. We're leaving town, now. Sammy! We gotta go." I said as I shook him awake.

"Dean, you don't leave my side…. Not till we're a hundred miles from here. Got it?"

"Fine. Yeah. Got it.

We packed up and spent all day getting as far away from this town as we could… I never want to come back. I spent the first hour of the trip telling Dean and Sam the story of the last several Tuesdays… they remembered none of it. Not even running into the trickster.

Once the sun set and we were a solid 10 hours away I agreed to stop at a motel and order a pizza for dinner. I told Dean he had to stay awake and alive until midnight… no sleeping. No hunting… no guns or knives or anything that could kill him. He protested at first but after seeing how upset I was, he caved. For that I was thankful. We ate our pizza in peace and I curled up next to him on one of the beds as we watched whatever movie was on TV. I clung to dean like a monkey all day long… refusing to let him out of my sight for more than minute, Sam too… I couldn't risk losing him either.

A knock at the door caught all of our attention. Sam stood and held his gun in his hand, he walked over to the door and looked through the peep hole, relaxing immediately and setting down his gun.

"I think this one's for you Em."


	56. Chapter 56

Author's Note: In honor of Sam Winchester's Birthday here is a new chapter! There's lots of Judson in there for you my friends! Let me know if you think we should continue this trend or not, quite frankly I like writing about Judson and Emily, but I don't want to overload you all! Thank you to my faithful readers and reviewers! Your support is appreciated in ways I can't express with words. I love you guys, thank you for giving me the chance to share my thoughts with you all.

Sam opened the door and there stood Judson, in all his 'bad boy' glory. But instead of his constant cocky smile there was a look of slight worry in his eye, concern… he scanned the room until he landed on me. He took a step inside the doorway, our eyes never leaving each other.

"Got your phone call, but I uh… I'm guessing you worked things out."

I slapped my palm to my face, I forgot that I called. Honestly I wasn't sure that it would even go through with it being an alternate reality and all.

"When did you get it?" I asked.

"Um? Yesterday? Tuesday…" He stared at me curiously.

"Yeah, we uh. We worked things out."

"Okay… well. Since I'm here. You guys wanna go out for a beer or something?"

"What'd ya say kiddo? Its after midnight, officially Thursday? Think its safe for me to go out and have a little fun now?" Dean teased.

"Don't mock me for being careful." I said as I punched him. In return he used a pillow and smacked me in the back of the head.

We both got up after a little more horseplay and got dressed to go to the bar. I was in the bathroom putting on some mascara. I can't say I'm not excited to see Judson. That my stomach didn't flutter just a little when the door opened.

Like I said… he has this mysterious way of always just… showing up.

But tonight, I don't mind so much.

I finished my make up and made sure my jeans with the sparkly pockets were properly situated. When I walked out I found Judson waiting for me.

"Hey, I told your brothers we'd meet them there. Thought maybe you could explain the phone call."

I looked down at my feet and sighed.

"Judson… I'm sorry about the phone call. I was-"

"You were scared. Terrified from the sounds of it, rambling about Dean dying. What the hell happened out there Em?"

"Its called a Trickster." I said as I walked out the door, he followed closely. "Can alter your reality, time, everything. I can't tell you how many Tuesdays I lived through. And in every single one of them… Dean died."

"How?"

"Every way you could possibly imagine. Electrocution, gun shot, hit by a car, slipped and fell, falling objects, dogs, food poisoning, … a stake through the heart."

"I'm guess that last one has more to it."

"It does, but it still didn't matter. Every single time he died its like my heart sank. Especially the first time. When I didn't know the day would just start all over again… and the last one. When I wasn't sure if the trickster would bring him back."

"So wait, this thing brought him back to life?"

"Yup. After I swore to never hunt him again."

"Please tell me you're lying? I mean you know we have to find this thing and take it out. Its way too dangerous."

"No. I'm not. I'm not going after it. I'm just glad to have Dean back, and I'm not trying to push my luck here."

"Fine. For now… So you're okay then?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. Just ready to get past the last few days."

"What better way to do that then have a drink and a good time?" He said as he winked, pulling into the bar.

"I gotta warn you, I'm a cheap drunk." I confessed.

"I got your back Winchester." He said as he helped me out of the truck. We walked in and spotted the boys over at a pool table.

"I'll grab us a drink, what do you want?"

"Surprise me." I winked as I walked over to the boys.

"Hey, you wanna play on the next round?" Dean asked as he sank three balls at once.

"Yeah. I'm down to play winner."

"Where's Judson?" Sam asked.

"Went to get us a drink."

"So… that's who you called huh?"

"And?"

"And nothing… Just. Interesting." Sam shrugged.

"Why don't you two find something else to think about it. I told you. I don't like him."

"Like who?"

I turned quickly and found Judson right behind me. He lifted a drink towards me. It was clear, and bubbly. I sniffed it carefully before taking a sip.

"Like no one." I said as I tipped the glass and tasted rum and sprite.

"Mmm... a little girly but I like it."

"Well you are a girl, or is there something you're hiding from me?"

I laughed.

"Oh hunny, if I did have a dick, I can assure you it'd be bigger than yours."

"I don't know, you haven't even seen the competition."

"I'm not worried." I winked as I grabbed a pool stick and turned back to my brothers.

"Alright, two on two?" Dean asked as he made the winning shot.

"I'm game." Judson said grabbing a stick.

"Who's with who?" Sam asked.

"I'll take Em." Dean said. I walked over and fist bumped him. We're an unbeatable team, and Sam knows it. Judson will catch on quickly.

"Well, be prepared to lose." Sam mumbled to Judson.

"Oh I don't know. I got a trick or two." Judson smiled.

"Bring it on. You boys can break."

I watched as Judson leaned and mumbled something to Sam, he then racked the balls and got in stance to break. He had shrugged out of his leather jacket and was left in a gray t shirt and jeans…. The curves of the muscles in his back showed as he leaned over the table, his long dark arms reached up the stick.

He broke.

I watched as 3 balls rolled into pockets. Two solids and one stripe.

"We'll take stripes." He winked.

Ha, man this guy is cocky… Dean and I shared a confident look. This guy was gonna lose his shit when our turn came up. He leaned in again and sank another ball.

Then another.

Then two more.

Then another.

I looked up at him nervously and he laughed.

"Dean." I whispered. He leant down to listen. "I think we're getting played."

We watched as Judson sank the last of the stripes. Leaving only the eight ball.

"Yeah. I'd say so." Dean leaned down and agreed, taking a long swig of his beer.

I looked up to Sam who sat back and laughed as we all watched Judson sink the 8. When he finished he sat on the side of the table and downed his drink.

"Round two?" He asked. I shot him a look.

"Fine. I'll break this time." I downed the rest of my drink before walking up and racking the balls. I swapped my regular stick for a shorter one used specifically for breaking, my short reach is a disadvantage, but I've learned to play around it. I broke and watched as I sank two of each solids and stripes. I winked at Dean and turned to face Judson and Sam.

"Well, you boys want stripes again?"

"Sure." Judson shrugged.

I smiled and went back down, sinking a few of the balls. I circled the table, looking for my next shot, what angle lines up best. As I walked around the table I paused to stand in front of Judson. I leaned over, preparing to shoot, letting the end of the stick bump his hip each time I pulled it back. I could hear him chuckle from behind me.

I smiled, lined up the shot, and sank the ball swiftly. I stood, gauging out my next move, but suddenly there was warm breathing tingling against the back of my neck.

"Nice shot." He whispered. Sending shivers down my spine. My eyes fluttered closed and I quickly moved away from him. Trying to pull my focus back to the game. I leaned down to sink the next to last ball, but my eyes kept wandering, looking up to find Judson. To meet green orbs. I stopped and turned to Dean.

"De. Don't hate me if we lose."

"What?! Get your mind off this guy and play!" He whisper yelled at me.

I leaned back down and zoned in on the green ball. I took a deep breath and steadied my hand. It rolled straight into the corner pocket. I sighed in relief. I set my sights on the 8 and called out my pocket. I sat on the edge of the table and leaned over, setting the stick close to the cue ball, then pulling back for the shot.

"Game." I smiled as the ball glided into the pocket with no resistance.

"Well done." Judson clapped.

"Okay. You two have had your fun, I'm kicking you both off the table." Dean said as he took the stick away from me. Sam stood and he and Dean began setting up for another game.

"Fine, I'll just grab another drink." I cheered prancing over to the bar and taking a seat on an open stool.

"Rum and sprite please." I smiled to the bartender as I slipped him some money. He smiled and left to make my drink.

"So, you're a pretty decent pool player. I'd like to rematch sometime when your brothers aren't around."

"Oh yeah, whys that?"

"I'd like to see how well you play when you're distracted, and well, I'm not looking to have any body parts dismembered tonight so I figure I'd hold back in front of Dean and Sam."

The thought of a rematch excited me, but I put on my best poker face and brought my attention back down to the napkin on the bar.

"Two can play that game… you just let me know when and where."

"Yeah but only one of us can win."

"So, what are you drinking?" I asked him.

"Whiskey on the rocks."

I leaned over a took a sip from his glass, he didn't seem to mind.

"Mmm. Johnny Walker I'm guessing?"

"I love a girl who knows her whiskey."

"Yeah well, Daddy was a whiskey man, and Bobby keeps a stocked house."

"You guys are pretty close with Bobby huh? Ya know before I met you three I swung through Bobby's a few times. The bedroom upstairs on the left was always off limits to hunters."

I smiled. My room. He made sure it always stayed mine even when I wasn't there.

"Bobby's been around for as long as I could remember. Daddy used to leave us with him sometimes when he'd be gone for weeks at a time. I guess he took pity on me when I was little, never having my own room and all. He even let me pick the color."

"Oh, and what did you choose?"

"Purple." I giggled. "And to this day, the lavender walls still make me smile."

"He loves you three. I've never seen him cater to other hunters like he does yall."

"I personally think its cause he felt like he partially raised us. We were young when we first started coming around, spent weeks at a time with him, he just. Took us in with no notice at any time, never turned us down, even when him and Daddy were fighting, he never turned us away."

"He's a good guy."

"Yeah, he's the best."

I smiled as the bartender set my drink down in front of me.

"So, you been busy for the last week or so?" I asked.

"Why? You miss me?"

"No, just curious." Wondering why you didn't bother to say a WORD to me.

"Just working. I had just wrapped up a werewolf when I got your phone call, saved me from having to find another hunt. I just looked you guys up and hauled ass."

"Yeah, thanks for that."

"I told you I'd be there for you anytime you needed me, I wasn't lying."

Yeah but I didn't know that… for all I know you couldn't wait to get the hell away from the crazy Winchesters and all their drama.

"Yeah."

"Hey, I'll meet you back at the pool table." He said distractedly as he got up and left. I made my way back to the pool table with the boys.

"You two done battling it out?" Dean asked as I sat down at a table close by.

"Yeah. We'll rematch another night… I'm more in the mood to watch you beat Sam anyways."

"Gee Em, thanks for the boost of confidence." Sam smirked as he lined up his shot, sinking the ball.

"Well Sammy you may just have to prove me wrong." I laughed, I stood form the chair but stumbled a step, grabbing Sam's arm to steady myself.

"Whoa. You enjoying that drink?" He asked.

"I think it snuck up on me a little." I confessed.

"This is only drink number two, how much rum could that guy sneak in there?" Dean asked.

"Enough obviously." Sam answered for me.

I stood next to the boys and let my eyes wander around the bar, landing on Judson… and the blonde slut hanging all over him at the bar. I felt… something. Jolt through me. Jealousy?

No. NO…. I'm not jealous. He's not my boyfriend. He can talk to whoever the fuck he wants to talk to. Even slutty ass blondes in too tight mini skirts that undoubtedly have nothing underneath them. Her makeup was too heavy and her tan obviously fake. Her tits hung out to the point that if she bent too far we'd all see a nip slip.

Fucking whore.

"Hey, move. You're blocking my shot." Dean said bumping into me. I shoved him back and never tore my eyes off the whore.

"What the hells up with you?" He asked as he bumped me again and then followed my gaze. "Oohhhh… I see."

"See what?" I demanded, crossing my arms defensively.

"You might wanna tuck away that little green monster that's sitting on your shoulder." He teased.

"Shut up! I'm not jealous… I'm not even looking at them."

"Oh, then what are you staring at?"

"The-the bar… the guy. Dark hair. At the bar." I quickly lied.

"Suuuure." Dean and Sam chuckled behind me. I pulled a few ice cubes out of my drink and threw it at them. They ducked and laughed some more.

I continued to watch Judson and the girl flirt at the end of the bar. Her hand dangled on his shoulder, his thigh, his chest… I wanted to rip it off.

Sam and Dean backed off for now, but when Dean came to walk by me I grabbed his sleeve, pulling him down to me.

"Hey."

"Hey what?"

"…Do you think she's pretty?"

And you better fucking answer this carefully.

"Only in the 'I'm gonna give it up after one drink and a thirty minute conversation' kind of way."

I smiled up to him. "That's why I love you De." I kissed his cheek and patted him on the face before I moved back down to the bar, refilling my drink.

"Another sprite and rum maam?"

"Make it vodka, a double please."

"You got it hun." The bartender smiled.

I watched carefully as the blonde bimbo let her hand trace down Judson's body. It made me want to hurl a glass at her, but… I won't. For now.

"Here you go."

"Thanks."

I made my way back up to the boys and perched at the table, going back and forth between my brothers and Judson. But he stood from the bar, and just when I thought he was going to tell her to fuck off, he grabs her by the hand and starts to walk towards us.

"Oh no… no fucking way."

"What?" Sam asked coming over by me, seeing Judson make his way up towards us.

"He can't be serious."

"I think he is kiddo." Sam sighed.

"You! Behave!" Dean warned pointing at me with the pool stick.

"I always behave." I said taking a large gulp of my drink.

"Maybe you should back off of these Em." Sam said pulling my drink away, I quickly snatched it back. "Or not…" He mumbled before going back to the pool table.

"Hey guys, this is Amber."

Amber the whore.

"Hi." Sam smiled, Dean offered a friendly nod, I waved briefly from the table.

"Hi." She giggled as she looped her arm through his. It made me want to gag.

"I've got winner." Judson called as he and Amber walked over towards the table.

"Still milking that drink Em?"

"No, I've upgraded, guess you didn't see me down at the bar."

"No, guess not… distracted." He said as he winked at Amber. I rolled my eyes, but neither of them noticed. "So you find anything interesting down there?" He asked as he noticed my gaze fall back down to the lower level by the bar.

"Yeah. Got my eyes on a few possibilities."

"Judson, you're up." Sam said as he tossed Judson the pool stick. Sam stood back as he and Dean started the Game, Amber sat down at the table across from me, eyes on Judson the whole time.

"He's so hot." She mumbled.

"What?" I asked.

"He's so… yummy. Dontcha think?" She laughed.

"Sure."

"So which one is yours? Not that either is a bad choice…"

"They're my brothers." I said flatly.

"Oh… well. I don't suppose you guys have a room nearby do you?" She said to me with raised eyebrows.

I laughed and downed the rest of my drink, then I leaned in close to her.

"Listen to me white trash whore. It'll be a cold day in hell before your skank ass hands get on either of my brothers… got it?"

Her face quickly went from devious and excited to offended and angry.

"Why you little bitch!" She growled back loudly, standing.

"Oh there ain't no little to it sweetcheeks." I said as I stood myself.

"Whoa… oh okay! Playtimes over kids, c'mon Em." Dean laughed as he pulled me to the other side of the pool table, but my eyes stayed glued to Amber, a small smile on my lips. Push me bitch, I fucking dare you. Once Dean had me away Judson moved in towards her and she put on a pouty face, clutching to him like a rag doll.

"Hey, what happened to the whole behave thing we just talked about?" Dean said blocking my view.

"She's a fucking slut, she's trying to hook up with all three of you dumbasses in one fucking night. No way she gets her hands on a fucking Winchester. I'll fucking cut them off!"

"Okay. YOU. Need to chill… me and Sam aren't that desperate kiddo, so go down to the bar, and cool off. Come back when you aren't ready to rip off someone's head."

I huffed and stomped down the steps to the lower level, making my way to the bar.

"Hey friend." I called over to the bartender. "Vodka shots, doubles."

"How many sweetheart?"

"Just keep em coming."

I downed a couple shots and piddled with the third one in my hand, looking up at the pool tables and watching as Amber bent her ass over and asked Judson to show her what to do.

How the fuck does this bitch end up hanging out with my brothers and I'm stuck down here alone? Hell to the fuck no. I ain't playing this shit. I downed the shot and hopped off the barstool, stumbling a few steps.

"Careful." A voice said as someone caught me around the waist. "I'd hate for you to get hurt."

I looked up and grinned. Oh… yes. Brown hair, blue eyes, white teeth, a nice clean button up and expensive jeans, a little on the slender side, but his arms had some nice definition.

"Sorry, guess I uh. Missed a step."

"No problem. I'm Billy."

"Billy, I'm Emily." I said reaching out my hand, he shook it and released the hold on my waist.

"You better get back to your date up there." He said as he glanced up to the pool tables.

"Oh, no. Those are my brothers."

"Oh, well… in that case, how about a game?"

"Yeah, sure." I smiled. I let him lead me up the stairs and we occupied the table next to the boys and Judson. Unlike Judson I didn't feel the need to flaunt my catch to the whole group so we skipped the introductions and just racked for a game. I let him take lead. Playing half assed, no need to wipe this guy's ego out.

"So." Someone whispered from behind me as I stood and watched Billy shoot. "You losing on purpose, or have you just had one too many."

I laughed and turned, falling into green eyes. "Don't think for a second I couldn't beat you. Drunk or not."

I walked away from him and went to stand closer to Billy, who while very nice and good at small talk had not even half my attention. Instead I watched Amber and Judson… they had taken over the pool table and Dean and Sam sat at the table, watching Billy and I.

I swear… I can't have any fun with them around.

"So you from around here Emily?" Billy asked.

"No, just passing through for work."

"Family job I'm guessing?"

"Yes sir."

"Ouch, don't make me feel old." He joked.

I sauntered over to him and sat on the table in front of him, blocking his shot.

"I didn't say anything about being old… I just like it when a man's in control." I whispered in his ear. He chuckled and set one arm on each side of me as he leaned down, letting his lips fall against mine. I pushed my tongue against his lips and he opened them, allowing me full access as I did him. His hands moved onto my hips.

Something small hitting the back of my head caused me to jump and pull away. I turned and found both my brothers giving me the death stare. I sighed and jumped off the table, walking over to them.

"I'm sorry, is there a problem here?" I asked crossing my arms.

"Yeah. If he touches you again… I'm gonna be the one ripping hands off tonight." Dean warned with a smile.

"Oh, but you have no problem with the trash he dragged up here?"

"He's not my sister. You are… I know you're a little drunk and feeling a little jealous but don't act desperate. Its not what Winchester's do Em."

"FINE!" I yelled going back to the table, lining up my next shot. Straight in front of me were Judson and Amber, hanging all over each other, which is when genius struck me. I laughed to myself and readjusted my shot. Pulling back… and… BAM!

I hit the ball hard enough that it flew off the table and smacked into the side of Amber's face, just inches from hitting Judson as well. She screamed and her hand flew up to her face. Judson shot me a 'what the fuck' look and I stood, hiding my smile.

"Oh! Oh no… I'm so sorry. I guess I got a little heavy handed on that one." I said walking over and picking up the ball off the floor by her feet.

"You're gonna pay for that one!" She whined as she picked up her drink, throwing it in my face.

I laughed and licked my lips, closing my eyes briefly. When I opened them again she had a smug grin on her ugly face, so I spit straight in her eyes and used the temporary moment of surprise to deck her, sufficiently breaking her nose.

"HEY! Oh come on!" Dean yelled as He and Sam rushed over, dragging me away from her before I could swing again. Judson pulled her away from me, shooting daggers at me.

"Bring it on Barbie! I got you ALL night long bitch!" I yelled as the boys dragged me down the stairs, leaving Billy and Judson both behind.

Dean pushed me out the door, Sam close behind.

"What the hell Em?! What happened to tucking away the little green monster? Huh?! Cause it looks to me like it just took over."

"Oh she's fine! A little blood never hurt no one." I giggled.

"How much have you had to drink tonight?" Sam asked.

"Ohhh.. I don't know. Some drinks. Some shots?"

"Shots? Of what."

"Vodka I think?" I giggled again. "Did you see the look on that bitches face? I fucking got her Dean! I got her!"

"Yeah, you did. You got a bimbo. Congratulations." Dean said monotone. I continued to laugh smugly to myself.

"Dean, maybe we should just take her and go." Sam suggested.

"NO! No.. please. I-I'll be good! No more hitting the b-bimbo!" I begged.

"Em you're drunk you don't know what you're talking about."

"No no no, I promise. I'll be good. I'll back off. Please. I don't wanna leave yet. I wanna go back in and dance! I won't even come near the pool tables. Promise."

"Fine. But one more move like that and we're gone! Got it?"

"Yes!" I smiled as I pranced back into the door. I glanced up to the pool tables where Judson was helping Amber clean her face. I scanned the room and found Billy coming down the stairs. I walked over to him.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, yeah, nothing a dance or two won't fix." I said smiling and taking his hand and leading him to the center of the bar. Dean and Sam moved back up to the upper level. But I wasn't concerned with them. My eyes were stuck on Judson.

Still letting that whore hang all over him, giving her all his attention. Why the hell does he even want her? Is he more like Dean then I thought? Just looking for a lay and moving onto the next… would he really sleep with _that_? Every part of this bothered me.

So instead I took a sip of Billy's drink and wrapped my arms around him as we danced.

"So, about that whole man in control thing… I think we can make that work." He whispered in my ear.

"Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?" I giggled drunkenly as he turned us in a circle.

Instead of answering he led us over to a corner of the bar out of sight from my brothers or Judson. I didn't resist. I allowed him to kiss me, his hands moving from my waist to my hips, I pushed myself against him and deepened the kiss. He then trailed his lips down my chin… my neck, to my breasts.

"Ow." I jumped as he nipped against one of them. He pulled back.

"Sorry, I'm a bit of a biter." He breathed into my ear.

"Its okay. I kinda like it." I drunkenly slurred back. I could feel the alcohol really settling in now. I let Billy lift my body and I wrapped my legs around his hips, he pushed me against the wall and we continued our make out session.

I didn't mind as his hands wandered a little, he wasn't being any more pushy than I was, and I knew that if I wanted to stop him I could. He never pushed too much. Just enough to keep me enticed.

"Hey. Time to go." A voice interrupted tapping me on the shoulder. I looked up and met eyes with an irritated Judson.

"No way, fuck off." I said before going back to kissing Billy, who ignored the interruption.

"Emily. I'm serious. Time to go. NOW!" Judson said yanking me away from Billy.

"Hey man leave her alone!" Billy said puffing up to Judson.

"If you knew what was good for you, you'd stay out of this." Judson warned him, then he proceeded to try and drag me away but I pulled back.

"Let me go!" I demanded as I tried yanking my arm away.

"Why? So you can get even more drunk and let that guy feel you up?"

"That's none of your business!"

"The hell it ain't. I said I'd have your back, and I'm not gonna back out on that just because you get bitchy when you're drunk."

"Oh fuck you! Go back and screw the Barbie!"

"Oh I will, after I get you the hell out of this bar."

"What the fuck do you want with her anyway huh? She's fucking trashy. I never expected you had such poor taste in women."

"And I clearly underestimated the warning about being a cheap drunk"

"Just… let me go!" I yelled yanking my arm away and stomping up the stairs to find Sam and Dean.

"They're not up there, they're outside waiting for you. I told them I'd drag you out."

"Oh? Amber outside too?"

"You know, I don't know what the hell your problem is tonight but I'm sick of it."

"Why do you like her?!" I yelled as he pushed me out the door.

"Why do you care?"

"I don't!"

"You sure about that?" Judson asked as he leaned in closely, I could feel his breath on my face. He was daring me to make a move, to give myself away. I smiled and reached back, slapping him across the face. He let out a single bitter laugh.

"You should go back inside with Amber." I said before I turned and stalked off towards the impala, slamming the door behind me as I stumbled in. Dean and Sam were in the front seat and promptly put the impala in drive, pulling away from the bar.

"You enjoy yourself tonight?" Dean asked me sarcastically. I didn't respond. "You know you don't have to speak for me to know what you're thinking, right?"

"Good."

"Ah, it speaks." He joked to Sam who shook his head before turning back to me.

"Emily, how you feeling?"

"Fine."

"You sure, you look a little pale?"

"I said I'm fine, Sam."

"Okay… point taken."

He turned back around and I closed my eyes… but I couldn't shove down the feeling that I wanted to puke. My stomach began to churn and I tried deep breathing and laying down in the seat.

"Em?"

I was afraid if I talked, I'd get sick, so I just waved off my brothers. I breathed in and out… slowly, but. It wasn't helping. I slowly sat back up.

"De… pull over." I mumbled as I fought to get the door open, flinging myself out of it and puking onto the side of the road.

Sam was out of the car and at my side in a split second, holding my hair and rubbing my back as I puked violently into the grass.

"Well. You're never drinking with us again." Dean sighed as he squatted next to me and patted my back.

"Fuck… you.." I groaned between heaving.

Another set of headlights came up behind us, but instead of passing by they slowed and came to a stop.

I'd recognize the sound of that truck anywhere… No no no. Make him leave!

"She alright?" Judson asked through the rolled down window.

"Yeah, just had a little too much to drink." Dean said.

"Alright, I'll meet you back at the motel, need me to stop for anything?"

"Nah, we got Gatorade and aspirin. She'll make it, just gotta suffer a little first."

Gee Dean, thanks… you sound so concerned. I heard the truck pull away and finally lifted off my hands and knees. Sam helped me stand and climb back into the impala. I laid down in the seat and closed my eyes, praying the car ride would end soon.

Finally it did and Sam carried me into the room.

The moment my feet hit the carpet I got the urge to puke again, I jogged to the bathroom and kneeled to the porcelain throne, offering it everything left in my stomach. I groaned and grumbled between episodes of puking, Dean took his turn sitting with me, he pulled my hair out of my face into a hap hazard bun, then he sat and rubbed my back as I hugged the bowl.

"Well kiddo, go big or go home I guess… if you're gonna get drunk at least you did it right."

"That's not funny Dean."

"I didn't say it was funny. I just said it happens. Here… have some water."

I took the water bottle from his hands and sipped at the cool water, it soothed my throat and I sat back against the wall, leaning over in Dean's lap.

"I think I'm in trouble…" I confessed to Dean.

"Why sweetheart?"

"I think I like him." I whispered. Dean chuckled.

"It took you this long and a bottle of vodka to realize that?"

"Did I really have a whole bottle?"

"Starting to seem that way… are you done emptying your stomach?"

"I don't know… I've never felt so sick in my entire life."

"Oh I don't know, that flu was a doozy."

I laughed slightly.

"C'mon kiddo, lets get you into bed."

I slumped down to the floor as Dean stood up.

"Leave me here… its nice and cold."

"No way are you sleeping on this nasty floor." Dean said as he picked me up and carried me to the bed. He laid me down, pulled off my shoes, and handed me a nice cold rag to put over my face. I laid still and hoped if I kept my eyes closed everything would stop spinning.

A knock at the door caused one of the boys to get up and answer it.

"Hey, how's she doing?"

Ughhhh… why is he here?! I laid still and pretended to be asleep.

"Well she looked like the exorcism there for a while, but I think the worst of it is past her now, she'll have one hell of a hangover in the morning." Dean explained. I could hear the fridge open and beer bottles being clinked against each other. Ughh. How can they still drink?!

"She always get like that when she drinks?"

"She doesn't really drink. When she does we tend to limit the intake pretty heavily… this is the first time we decided to let her go and see what she does. Hopefully she's learned her lesson." Sam explained.

"Well a warning woulda been nice. I'd started with beer instead of liquor if I knew."

"Sorry man. We were kinda hoping she'd control it herself."

Judson scoffed. "That plan worked well."

"Yeah, tell me bout it."

"Alright, I'm hitting the sack. See you three in the morning. Got wind of a case not far from here, something I hadn't seen before. Might be nice to have some experienced eyes on it."

"Yeah sure man, you got it." Sam agreed.

No! I don't want to hunt with him! Tell him no Dean please!

"Yeah, we'll see how she's feeling in the morning. We may have to pass." Dean interrupted.

Oh how I love him… I love him I love him I love him!

"Sure." Judson said before I heard the door open and close behind him.

The boys conversed briefly before getting ready for bed, the lights went out and the bed shifted slightly beside me. I could tell it was Sam, his feet always tap the end of the mattress, testing to see how much room he has before he goes to sleep. I turned over and laid against his arm, slowly drifting to sleep.

…

Churning in my stomach woke me up. I pushed the now dry and warm rag off my face, but it was barely light outside. I struggled to climb out of the bed and stumble to the bathroom, where I fell to my knees in front of toilet and hurled again and again in the dark.

When I finished I slumped down against the wall, feeling the cool floor against the side of my face. I focused on the solid ground and begged the pounding in my head to dull… I was finally drifting back to sleep when the light flipped on and foot steps on the tile echoed in my head.

"Ah!" I flinched.

"Emily how long have you been in here?" Sam asked.

"I don't know…"

"C'mere sweetheart." Sam lifted me up and sat me against the back of the tub, rewetting a rag and dabbing it to my face.

"Saaaaaaammy. I never want to drink again."

"I figured so."

"Was I really bad?"

"Yeah kiddo, you were a mess last night"

"I punched someone didn't I?"

"Yep, and then spent almost an hour making out with some random guy, not happy about that by the way."

"I wasn't doing it to piss you off."

"No, you were doing it to piss Judson off. And it worked."

"What?"

"You heard me… he got pissed off, said you were getting too handsy down there and for us to get the car ready cause he was gonna drag you outside."

"Great." I sighed. The urge to puke came back and I quickly leaned over the bowl, hurling over and over again. Sam rubbed my back and offered me a cold drink of water.

"Just leave me here." I said as I sat back against the wall.

"Okay, holler if you need us, I'm gonna catch a little more sleep."

"Thanks Sammy… I'm sorry about last night."

"I know Em."

Sam left the room and turned off the lights. I sat against the wall feeling completely miserable, praying sleep would take me over, but it didn't. I just puked over and over and over again. Every time I took a drink of water to soothe my throat it was like it triggered another round.

I tried to stay as quiet as I could so the boys could get some sleep. I had caused enough problems last night, no need in causing more.

Eventually I heard one of them stumble awake, Dean quickly emerged in the bathroom.

"Uh. I need to pee."

"Go outside." I groaned not bothering to get up off the floor.

"Yeah, that's called public indecency. Trust me. Been there done that…"

The thought made me wanna hurl again, so I did.

"Are you still puking your guts up? How long have you been in here?"

"A few hours."

"You should be past this part of it by now." Dean said concerned, leaning down and putting his hand against my face.

"Em you're burning up."

"I just wanna lay back down." I said as I lowered back to the cool floor.

"Sam!" Dean hollered.

"Stop yelling." I whined.

"Sam, she's burning up." Dean said as he entered the bathroom.

"What?" Sam said leaning down and touching the back of my neck. "Okay uh, lets get her out of the floor."

"No! Leave me here… please."

"Em sweetie we can't leave you in the floor."

"Its cold."

"C'mon kiddo." Dean said as he lifted me up off the floor.

"Wait! No.. No I'm gonna be sick."

Dean quickly set me back down as another round of puking began. When it was over I heaved in for air.

"Sam… this isn't a hangover. There's no way she'd still be puking like this."

"Yeah, I know. We gotta get some medicine in her system."

Dean picked me back up and set me on the edge of the bed, trash can close by, then he went back into the bathroom. Sam rushed over to the sink and cooled some rags, laying them on my neck.

Someone knocked at the door, Sam quickly unlocked and opened it, Judson stepped in and I felt like hurling all over again but this time I fought it.

"Damn girl. You look like shit." Judson laughed as he walked in, I shot him a death glare. He seemed taken back by the veracity of my glare.

"Yeah, its been a long night." Sam said coming over with an ice pack, he handed it to me and pushed it against my face.

"How much did you actually drink last night?"

"I don't know." I sighed. I was really fighting the urge to puke. Finally Dean opened the bathroom door and I shoved past him to be sick again… and again.

"Em why don't you get changed, you're still wearing last nights clothes." Dean said as he brought me my bag. "Just put on something comfortable, I don't think you're leaving the room today."

"Okay." I mumbled reaching into the bag and grabbing out a sports bra, a cami, and a pair of cotton shorts. I changed quickly, before I could puke again, and readjusted my hair to sit in a messy bun on the top of my head. I rinsed my mouth, too afraid I'd gag if I put a toothbrush anywhere near it.

A knock on the bathroom door made me push it open before sitting back down beside the toilet.

"You gotta get up out of this floor kiddo." Dean said as he reached out a hand and slowly pulled me to stand. I walked back out into the room and laid across the bed.

"So remember much from last night?" Judson asked from the table.

"Enough."

"Remember punching my date in the face?"

"I remember punching a slut in the face." I smiled briefly.

"Oh, do you remember acting like one with uh, what's his name… Billy?"

"Oh fuck you." I sighed rolling over, feeling my stomach start to churn again. I prayed that it would settle. I'm so tired of puking. My ribs hurt, my chest hurts, my throat was on fire.

"Em put this under your tongue." Sam said handing me the thermometer. I reluctantly put it in my mouth.

"What's with all the commotion in here? She's hungover. She'll live." Judson said sitting back in his chair.

"I don't know man, she's been puking non stop for hours, she's burning up." Sam explained.

"So this is not a hangover then?" Judson asked as he sat up and leaned forward.

"No. If it was she would have a killer headache and be past the puking part."

"I did have a headache, but I think I puked it up too." I mumbled around the thermometer. It beeped and Sam grabbed it before I could look.

"Dean. Its 104. That's way too high, we've gotta get it down."

"Yeah okay, I'll grab some medicine out of the trunk."

"Em we're gonna give you something to help the fever but you've gotta hold it down for at least 30 minutes okay?"

I nodded in response.

"Should I run to the store? Get some ginger ale or something?" Judson asked.

"Yeah uh, that and crackers. Maybe we can get her to hold something down."

"Alright, I'll be back in twenty."

Judson left the room and I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom to puke again. When I came back out Dean was waiting for me with a little bit of Gatorade and a few pills.

"Hey kiddo, I crushed them up, mixed it with some Gatorade so it'll hit your system quicker incase you can't hold them down. I just need you to drink this. It might be a little bitter, but do your best."

"Dean what's wrong with me?"

"Probably a virus kiddo. Bad timing with the alcohol…"

"My stomach. It hurts… all of it."

"I know, this'll make it better Em, just drink it."

I took the cup from his hands and forced myself to sip the cup down, gagging at the end, but fighting to hold it in. Judson came back through the door a few minutes later and set some crackers down on the table. He pulled the package open and walked them over to me. One whiff of the salt and I ran to the bathroom.

"Well… crackers obviously aren't going to go down." Judson sighed as I walked back out and sat on the bed.

"She at least held the medicine down for about 20 minutes. Some of it should have absorbed into her system. That'll help." Sam sighed. "She really needs some Phenergan or something to stop the puking. I'm gonna run into town and see if I can't get my hands on a script pad. Dean, check her temp again in half an hour, if it hasn't come down, then we'll have to take her to the ER."

"Noooo…" I whined.

"You'll be okay Em. Promise." Sam said as he kissed the top of my head and walked out the door.

"I grabbed some pedialite with the ginger ale. Some women at the store said it's good for things like this cause it has a bunch of electrolytes to treat the dehydration."

"Yeah, we should try some." Dean agreed.

"I don't want to."

"Emily you have to get some fluids in, he's right, you've been puking for hours, you're definitely dehydrated. C'mon sit up and try some."

I sighed and slowly forced myself to sit up and move towards the edge of the bed, my head hanging down.

"Hey, what's that?" Judson asked walking over to me.

"What?" Dean asked curiously. I looked straight at Judson, but he wasn't looking back at me… well. Not my face anyways. He was staring at me, I started to feel self conscious.

"Do me a favor and don't cut my hands off." Judson said to Dean, we shared a confused look as Judson leaned down in front of me. He reached out to touch me and I pulled back.

"Emily, I'm not gonna hurt you, just… trust me."

His hands moved forward and went straight for edge of my sports bra in the front of my chest.

"Hey! What the hell are you doing?" Dean yelled walking over to us.

"Just! Wait… give me a minute, I promise. I'm not gonna pull it off." Judson swore as he carefully pulled the bra away from my chest and down a little, revealing a red irritated wound.

"What the hell?" I whispered looking down my shirt at it, Dean bent down and examined it carefully. As if it wasn't awkward enough to have Judson all in my cleavage, now my brother was staring too? Fuck my life…

"Dammit." Judson groaned. "Billy bit you last night didn't he?!"

Dean looked between the wound and Judson with concern.

"I-I don't know… I don't remember."

"You care to share with the class here buddy?" Dean asked.

"That case I was talking about… it's a creature called a Druit. They infect their victims with a bite and over the course of about 24-48hours they puke their guts up, literally. It empties the stomach of any acid, because the druit can't tolerate it, when your stomach is sufficiently dry, they cut it out and eat it, leaving the vic to die."

"Oh my god… I'm gonna be sick." I mumbled as I ran into the bathroom again, unable to stop the hurling. I sank into the bathroom floor again when it was all over. Now trying to count back how many hours I've been puking so I know how many hours I've got left to find this bastard. I pulled myself up off the floor and walked out.

"Okay… how do we kill him?"

"I don't know. That's what I needed help figuring out." Judson confessed. "Dean's calling Sam to fill him in, I hate to break it to you but there weren't any medications that worked on any of the vics. The puking is the infection working to empty your body's acid."

"Fuck me…" I whined, digging in my bag for some actual clothes.

"Okay." Dean barged back into the room. "Sam's on his way to the library now to do some research on how to kill this thing, I'm gonna go see if I can track the bastard down. Em did he give you any personal information at all?"

"Umm… his name is Billy?" I shrugged.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes. "You are NEVER getting drunk again. So if this thing attacks your stomach then what's with the high fever?"

"Well, fever is the body's natural way of fighting an infection, this thing is like a supernatural super virus. Her body is fighting for its life." Judson said. I leaned against the wall, feeling myself grow weak as I attempted to pull some clothes out. "Emily what are you doing?" He asked as he came over and put an arm around me, holding me up. I can't say it was the worst feeling in the world.

"Well I can't hunt in this." I said gesturing to my shorts.

"Hun you aren't hunting at all… there's no way you could."

"I can't just sit here and hope I don't die."

"No he's right kiddo, me and Sam will take this one out… you need to stay here, with protection." He said looking up at Judson. Oh no… Dean please don't. Don't let him see me like this any longer! "Can you watch her while we're gone?"

"Yeah of course. I'll stay with her."

"Nooo… De." I whined.

"Hey man give us a minute." Dean said, Judson quietly made his way out the door. "Em, we don't have another choice."

"De you have to stay! Please… I feel like I'm dying."

"That's because you are babygirl, which is why Sam and I gotta find this bastard, fast. We're working against the clock on this one."

"But… he's not going to want me like this. I look disgusting."

"Emily, if this guy is worth your time, he's going to take care of you at worst. No matter what it is. And he's the only other guy in town that knows what we're up against, I need him with you. This thing could come back."

"De… I'll stay alone. Please. I… I don't want him to see me like this."

"Em, you don't have another choice. I'm not leaving you alone like this. You still might have a trip to the ER in your near future."

"Why does this always happen to me?"

"Because life is cruel." Dean smiled.

"De. I love you. But I'm mad at you." I pouted, feeling my body churning again.

"I love you too babygirl, you try and hold it together for a few hours okay? I promise. We'll find him."

Dean made his way outside and Judson came back in. He came over and sat next to me on the bed. He lifted a rag off the table and used it to wipe my sweaty face… gross. This is NOT how I want to spend time with Judson. I want to be pretty, and able to sit up straight.

"You can only stay if you wear a blind fold." I mumbled.

"Whys that?" He laughed.

"No one should be allowed to see me at this particular moment."

"Emily. Its puke. Its not the end of the world."

"No… but its gross. And I feel gross. And I look gross. And I don't want you to see me gross."

"Well I'm sure one day you'll get to return the favor."

"Oh you mean you're gonna get sloppy drunk and make out with a monster too?"

"No. Not quite."

"… I bet you wouldn't go around slapping people." I whispered as I looked up to him.

"So. You remember that huh?"

"Loud and clear. I'm sorry about last night."

"It's okay I had it coming… I'm sorry about all this."

"S'not your fault." I mumbled and shrugged.

"Yeah it is, I said I'd have your back last night… I shoulda never let you and that guy take off downstairs. I was being an ass."

"You couldn't have known what he was."

"Doesn't matter… even before all this went down I felt bad about leaving you to fend for yourself. That's why I left Amber at the bar."

I looked up at him curiously.

"Wait… You didn't take her back to the motel?"

"No… " He sighed, staring off. "Not my type. I was just… I don't know."

"Did you think she was pretty?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him. He laughed.

"Not in the way a girl wants to be pretty."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means a girl should be pretty for the way looks first thing in the morning. For the way she treats strangers. Not for how much spray tanner and lipstick she uses."

I stared at him with my mouth slightly open…. WHOA. Did NOT expect that to come out of his mouth.

"I'm impres-" I went to speak but had to move instead, another round of violent heaving made its way to the surface. The last place I wanted Judson to see me was in here… like this. Hanging over a toilet. Heaving repeatedly until my body ached.

I crossed my arms over the bowl and laid my forehead against it. Judson slowly opened the door and handed me another wet rag to wipe my face with. Then he sat down beside me in the floor, I tried to breathe in an even pattern, but my body was still fighting the strain in my muscles to regurgitate everything in my stomach.

"I just want it to stop…" I whined, feeling hopeless for relief.

"I know." He sighed as he rubbed my back. "You wanna go lay back down?"

"No. Just leave me in here."

I slumped down the ground, letting my face rest against the cool tile again. I know this floor is probably nasty, but I'm desperate for relief.

"Em I cannot in good conscience let you lay on that floor."

"Its cold. I like it down here."

"Sorry hun, not gonna happen." He said as he stood and lifted me with him.

"Nooooo…"

He laid me down on the bed, taking another rag and laying it across my eyes.

"You really need to drink something."

"I can't. It just makes me puke more."

"Emily you're seriously dehydrated. We've got to at least try to keep putting things down, even if they come back up."

"It hurts… my whole body."

"That's because you're dry heaving. At least this will give you something to throw up."

"You drink it." I said getting irritated.

"I don't need it. You do. C'mon sit up and try some."

I reluctantly sat up and leaned against the head of the bed, removing the rag and sighing. He handed me a cold glass of the pedialite. I took small sips, and fought against my body not to instantly throw it back up.

"Jeez. This hurts to watch…"

"Try living it." I said as I got up to go and throw up again. This time Judson waited outside the bathroom, knocking after he heard the toilet flush.

"Go away."

"Can't."

"Or won't…"

"Both." He smiled. "I tell you what… this." He said as he lifted the small bathroom trash can. "Is coming in there, with us. YOU are going to lay down in that bed, and you're not allowed to get up. I can't stand to watch you put your face near that toilet again."

"If I puke in the trash can I still have to get up and clean it."

"No. You don't."

"Well I'm sure as hell not letting you clean it."

"And I'm sure as hell not giving you a choice." He said as he picked me up and helped me walk back to the bed. He forced me to lay down, I got the chills and pulled the blanket around me. I'd been sweating all morning but it seems to have stopped. Now I was just cold all of a sudden. I pulled the covers up around my body up to my neck.

"Are you cold?"

I nodded instead of answering. Judson came over and put his hand to my forehead, but he quickly removed it. "I can't tell cause of the rags, I'm gonna feel your back, don't break my hand." He joked. I chuckled, but certainly didn't complain as he leaned over and slid his hand against my lower back.

"Mmmm… not gonna lie. That kinda feels good." I mumbled.

"You're still burning up. You really shouldn't be under the blankets. Its just gonna raise your body temp even more."

"Too bad. I'll shoot you if you try and move this blanket."

"Emily." He laughed. "I'm serious. I'll let you keep the sheet, okay?" He pulled the blanket out of my weak grasp and I whined, trying to fight against it. But it was no use… I had no strength right now. He easily pulled the blanket out of my hands.

"Hey, you decide you trust me yet?"

"Why?" I eyed him curiously.

"Because your wound needs to be cleaned."

"No way. I'll clean it later."

"You act like I've never seen boobs before."

"You've never seen these boobs before."

"Its me or your brothers… take your pick."

"Ughhhh! That's not even fair. I don't want my brother digging around in my cleavage."

"Then I suggest you lay on your back and let me do it."

"If your hands wander to ANY unnecessary inch of my boobs I swear you'll wake up with only 9 fingers."

"Point taken. Now pull your shirt down."

I reluctantly pulled down my shirt and bra, exposing the inside of my right breast, making sure not to pull it too far down and have a nip slip of my own. His fingers were warm and gentle as he leaned down with some gauze and disinfectant, it sent tingles down my spine… in a good way. He met my eyes briefly before dabbing the gauze onto the wound, causing me to flinch at the sting.

"Sorry." He whispered, I took a deep breath and tried to hold back the building urge to puke again. "You okay?" I nodded slowly, avoiding opening my mouth. "I'm almost done, just let me get a bandage on it." I tensed as his hands pressed against my breasts. The sensation was… good, but the butterflies it gave me translated to nausea instead. The moment he pulled away I sat up to run to the bathroom.

"Oh no you don't… here." He said as he shoved the small trash can at me. I couldn't hold back and heaved, Judson rubbing my back as they wracked my already sore body. He handed me a wet rag and took the trash can away from me. He disappeared into the bathroom and I just couldn't imagine looking him in the eye after letting him clean up my puke…

He came back out and I laid down, clamping my eyes shut, rag over the top.

"Em, you gonna live?"

"I think I'm gonna die of embarrassment before the puking kills me."

"Why?"

"Because some hot guy just cleaned my puke."

He laughed.

"Yeah well… I get to spend the day with the prettiest girl in town, how lucky am I?"

"You're a bad liar."

"You're stubborn."

"That… is true."

"Think if I got you to sleep then maybe it would stop the puking for a few hours?"

"Maybe. But I can't fall asleep."

"Maybe I can help with that."

"I doubt it."

"Oh I don't know. I have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"Are you trying to take advantage of the dying girl?" I asked pulling the rag off and raising my eyebrows.

"No, I'm trying to save the dying girl, smartass. AGAIN."

"Well its not like I have the energy to resist at the moment… take me. I'm yours." I sighed dramatically. He laughed at me.

"At least your sense of humor is intact."

Maybe I'm not kidding…

"For real though, what are you gonna do to me?"

"I'm going to lay down, and you're gonna lay on top of me."

"Okay. Seriously. I was kidding, you're not really taking advantage of me right?!"

He rolled his eyes.

"I don't know what I have to do to get you to actually trust me."

I paused for a moment and sighed. I don't trust anyone… its just part of my charm.

"Sorry. Its not you."

"… I know. But I wish you could believe me when I say I'm not here to hurt you Emily. I wouldn't."

His gaze was intense, giving me that funny feeling that I was small compared to him. That I was lesser, and he was this… thing, that was to be desired.

"Okay, get your ass in bed." I demanded finally looking away. He kicked off his shoes and I slowly as possible scooted over to one side under the sheet.

"Come here." He said as he laid on his side facing me, I hesitantly moved to lay closer to him, he wrapped one arm under my head for me to rest it on, and the other laid over my waist. Then he moved to lay more on his back, pulling me with him so I was basically laying across his chest. He used his lower hand to raise the bottom of my shirt a few inches and rub his fingertips along my lower back. The sensation was calming, but tingly… If I wasn't sick and exhausted I'd be EXTREMELY turned on right now.

His upper hand pulled the hair away from my face and did the same motion as the bottom hand, only against my hairline. It was like it hit all my tingly nerves at one time, plus his body heat was helping to make me feel warm again. For now I was temporarily distracted from my stomach, the tingly sensation taking over.

I took a deep breath through my nose and released it, letting my body rise and fall with his.

"Go to sleep hun." He whispered to me, I did my best to keep my body still and my stomach at bay until sleep finally took me over.

(DEAN'S POV)

"Think we should call them?" I asked looking over to Sam who was ferociously typing away on the computer.

"Dean. You sound like a parent who just left his kid with the sitter for the first time."

"Oh shut up!"

"They're fine. Judson knows to call if things get worse."

"I just don't like leaving her like that… we never should have let her go off with that guy. We are NEVER letting her make her own decision EVER again."

"Yeah. Agreed." Sam sighed.

"So what do we know?"

"Uh, basically what Judson already told us. Except… I think I found a way to kill it."

"Okay. Shoot."

"Well, it empties the body of acid because its body is alkaline, it can't tolerate acid. So… you kill it with acid. Burn it."

"Like what kind of acid?"

"Like any kind of acid we can pick up at a hardware store. It'll basically melt them."

"Gross. Okay… so once this thing is dead does Em magically just get better?"

"I don't know… I'm having a hard time finding evidence of any survivors."

"Well… that's comforting."

"Tell me about it. Uh. Hold on… looks like there is one theory. Supposedly the infection is turning her body alkaline so that the Druit can ingest it, so we would just have to make her acidic… uhh. Balance out the pH in her body."

"How exactly do we do that?"

"Well. We pump her full of foods that turn acidic in the body."

"She's puking her guts up. How is she gonna hold that down?"

"Well, the acid starts to fight the infection, maybe the puking will slow down."

"This is all just a theory?"

"Well… scientifically it makes sense, but you and I both know science and the supernatural don't always line up."

"So what, we just go for it and hope it works?"

"Yeah, for now. We need to hit the hardware store and find this guy."

"What do we give Em to help her?"

"Umm. She may be better off drinking something, it will hit her system faster. Says here that soft drinks are really acidic. Or beer even."

"Hey, there's a whole case of beer in the fridge."

"Okay, call Judson, let him know what we found."

(THIRD PERSON POV)

Judson laid in the bed dozed off with Emily, but his phone ringing on the bedside table woke him almost immediately. He picked up and saw it was Dean, he instantly answered, trying not to move and wake Emily who was peacefully asleep.

"Hello?"

"Hey. Okay. You gotta melt this thing with acid… any kind of acid, we're gonna go by the hardware store and grab some."

"Okay, what about Emily?"

"Well… there's not much proof on survivors, Sam has a theory that the infection is making her body uh… what'd he call it.. uh. Alkaline? Says if we pump her full of acid it will even out and stop the puking."

"So what? You want me to pour acid down her throat?"

"No smartass. There's beer in the fridge, turns acidic in the stomach. I know I'm gonna regret saying this… but I get the feeling we're gonna need to get her drunk again."

"Oh. She is gonna LOVE that." Judson laughed to himself. "She's going to throw it at me when I hand her a bottle."

"Better you than me."

"Thanks."

"How's she doing?"

"She's asleep for the moment, been that way maybe an hour or so."

"Well. You're in for a treat, cause YOU get to wake her up. Good luck, keep us updated, we're gonna go find this sucker." Dean laughed, hanging up the phone. Judson let his head fall back against the headboard at the thought of disturbing her. He knew she'd be grouchy. He laid his phone back on the bedside table and took a deep breath before starting to rub up and down her back over the sheets.

"Emily… Emily wake up." He gently rubbed her cheek. But when he did he noticed it was hot to the touch, and redder than it was when they had fallen asleep. He quickly ducked his hander under the sheet and felt of her body, it was steaming.

"Oh no… C'mon hun wake up!" He began to shake her more violently. She barely groaned and he moved quickly to stand, laying her on her back, her entire neck and chest were flushed bright red, he grabbed the thermometer and shoved it under her tongue, holding it in place with one hand, and her mouth shut with the other.

He waited impatiently as the moments passed before it beeped, once he saw the numbers 105.8 flashing on the screen he acted fast, knowing her body was only a few degrees from starting organ failure.

He grabbed her out of the bed and rushed into the bathroom, turning the tub water on as cold as it would go. He set her gently on the ground and ran to the small fridge in the room, taking what little ice was in the ice box and dumping it into the tub.

"Emily, don't hate me for this." He groaned as he lifted her up and set her in the tub of ice cold water. She barely reacted, only moaning and grasping onto his arms as he tried to set her down.

"Judson…" She mumbled. "I… I don't feel good."

"I know I'm gonna make it better okay?" He said as he stood.

"Don't go." She cried grabbing onto his arm, her eyes never actually opened but she could hear him moving to stand.

"I'm not Em. I'm right here, I gotcha. I'll be right back."

Judson darted into the room and pulled a six pack of beer out of the fridge, running back to the bathroom and popping the top on one of the bottles.

"Okay Em, I know this is gonna sound crazy but I need you to drink this, okay?" He said as he lifted the bottle to her lips, she didn't fight it until the bitter taste of beer hit the back of her mouth, then she promptly moved to spit it out, thrashing in the tub as she became more alert.

"Whoa whoa chill out, look okay, its going to stop the puking okay? It'll fix it. I promise!"

"I don't wanna drink anymore." She cried as she slumped down in the tub again, he pulled her up before she could sink too far under, the shock of the cold water seemed to be working to lower her temp but he knew it was only a matter of time before the puking started again and he needed to get as much beer in her as possible before that started.

"Emily, look at me, open your eyes."

She struggled, but halfway lifted her lids to show dark chocolate brown eyes.

"Good girl, now just drink this, okay, and I mean chug it."

He lifted the bottle back to her mouth and she obliged but struggled as she continued to guzzle the bottle of beer down, not stopping some of it from spilling out onto her chin.

Once the bottle was empty Judson moved it away and popped open a second bottle, he could only hope this was actually going to work, seeing as how this was only Sam's theory.

"I… I'm gonna be sick."

"Hold it in Em, here… drink some more." He forced the bottle to her lips and tipped it up, holding the back of her head so she couldn't squirm away.

(EMILY'S POV)

I felt like someone was shoving wood chips down my throat as he forced another bottle against my lips. The bitter liquid burned from my stomach up, and the ice cold water around me caused my muscles to tense, making pulling away from him more difficult.

I could barely lift my heavy eyes, let alone my hands to push him away. Why is he doing this to me?

"Stooop." I moaned as he dropped the second bottle.

"I'm sorry Em, we gotta cool you down, you're way too hot."

"Well so are you but I don't go dumping you in ice water!" I complained as I pulled away from him, feeling my eyes becoming easier to open.

"Are you going to stop hitting on me anytime soon?"

"Are you going to stop being an ass anytime soon?" I shot back.

"Open your eyes, all the way." He demanded as he pulled my chin to look up at him. My teeth were chattering and it felt like my whole body was vibrating from the icy cold water around me. My already sore muscles tensed again. "You with me?"

"I'm fucking looking at you aren't I?"

"Dean wasn't kidding… your bitchy when you wake up."

"Get me out of this tub or I'll show you bitchy."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes as he stood, grabbing my arms and helping me to stand. He grabbed one of the blankets off the bed and I snatched it, wrapping it around my body.

"What the hell were you doing to me."

"Saving your whiny ass."

"By putting me in shock?"

"Your temperature was sky high, I had to do something fast. You were unconscious."

"Well I'm conscious now. And I'm fucking cold."

He rolled his eyes and stood in front of me, sliding off his soaked tshirt.

"Come here." He said waving me to stand.

"No thanks Magic Mike." I said through chattering teeth.

"Emily, get your wet little ass up here now or I'm going to put you back in the tub."

I stared him down, attempting to call his bluff, but when he quickly took a step towards me I caved in.

"Okay! Okay… I'm getting up." I said standing and walking towards him.

"Put this in your mouth."

"You say that to all the girls?"

He laughed. I reached up and pulled the thermometer out of his hands with my mouth, staring at him as I waited for it to beep.

"100.2 You dropped over 5 degrees in 5 minutes. It may have sucked ass, but I just saved your life. For the eighteenth time actually."

"Thanks. But I'm still cold." I said taking two more steps towards him. He took one step more. We were less than an inch from being pressed against each other again. I stared up at him… wishing I could touch him the way I truly wanted to… but I couldn't.

"I'll go get you a new shirt." He whispered, breath blowing on my face. I stayed frozen from where he turned away from me. After he left the room I grabbed some new shorts and a new bra, just before I entered the bathroom to change he opened the door.

"Here, this will keep you warm." He reached out and handed me a thick black button up. I took it carefully. "I think it's safe to say we've got a jump on the infection, so it shouldn't raise your temp any."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"Are you nauseous?"

I stopped and thought for a second… and the truth was no. I wasn't.

"What the hell did I drink in there?" I asked shocked. Realizing I wasn't fixing to puke after all.

"You're not gonna like it."

"…Why?"

Judson sighed as he walked into the bathroom, coming out carrying a six pack of Dean's beer, minus two bottles of course.

"Are you seriously trying to get me drunk again?! Did you not learn your lesson the first time, cause I sure as hell did!"

"Look alright it was Sam's idea. I just got desperate enough to try it. Your brother's would string me up for the bears to eat if I let you die on my watch."

"Oh hunny bears is an optimistic thought when it comes to my brothers."

"My point reiterated, anyways, Sam says the acid in the beer fights the monster's infection. Apparently beer is highly acidic, it's the best thing you can drink right now."

I grumbled remembering the bitter burning sensation I felt only minutes ago.

"I'm gonna put on dry clothes."

"Don't feel bad, most women who lay next to me in a bed end up getting wet." He winked at me.

I bit my lip and tried to hide the bit of excitement and shock that overtook me. I quickly entered the bathroom and closed the door to change. I lifted his shirt and took in his scent before sliding it on, buttoning it up only half way or so… he was right. It was warm.

I was always stealing my brothers shirts, loving how safe and comfortable I felt in them. But wearing one of Judson's made me feel, special. I loved the way the thick fabric felt against my bare chilled skin, making me wish it was him. I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror. I was a disaster. Textbook definition of hot mess… plus he's cleaned up my puke. It doesn't get much worse than that. I should probably cut my losses now and move on.

I stepped out and walked over to where he sat on the bed.

"Still feeling okay?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

"You should probably polish off a few more of them just to be safe."

"You sure you're not just hoping I'll start making out when any guy in the same room again?" I asked standing directly in front of him. His grin was barely noticeable, but his eyes began to dance, and mine struggled to keep up. He stood, towering over me, looking down at me with what I deep downed wished was the same lust I had for him right now at this exact moment. He leaned forward and I closed my eyes, but instead of feeling his lips on mine I felt him pull back.

When I looked up he had a beer in his hand… the one he leaned down to reach around behind me and get. Disappointment quickly put out the fire of desire I felt from the deepest parts of my body.

"I don't need the beer to kiss you." He said before he handed it to me and walked away. I popped the top and began to drink the bitter cold beer, sitting on the table cross legged while he paced by the windows.

"So… what are you looking for?"

"Just checking out our surroundings. Dean wasn't lying when he said this thing could come back for you."

"Wouldn't do him much good now would it?" I said holding up the beer.

"Sure you don't want another make out session?" Judson teased. I threw the bottle cap at him, he caught it of course. Tossing it beside me on the table. I finished off the beer and climbed off the table.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm tired… I'm exhausted actually, and my body is sore. I could use a nap. You're welcome to join." I offered as I climbed under the blankets on the clean dry bed, rather than the one we slept in before. He sighed and looked back and forth between the window and I, as if he was debating something in his hand. Eventually he kicked off his boots and laid down next to me.

I waited, hoping he would invite me to lay with him again, but instead his eyes closed and I pretended to fall asleep as he dozed. Once I was sure he was asleep I slowly lifted my hand, tracing the veins down his arm with my fingtertips. I slowly moved my body closer to his, hoping that he wouldn't wake up and stop me. I lifted his arm sliding underneath it, but when I did he shuffled in his sleep and leaned towards me, putting an arm over me. I smiled.

I closed my eyes and nuzzled into his chest. The way he smelt… it filled my senses and everything else just disappeared. I let my hand trail down his body, pausing at his waistline. I traced along the top of his jeans, over and over again.

I kept my breath steady as he moaned softly, his hand that was laying over my back moved towards my hip and gently squeezed it. Tingles went up my spine and down my leg, I moved it and slid my knee between his. He lowered his face so that it layed against mine. My breath caught as his lips grazed my ear. My finger stopped, and I dipped it into his jeans, hooking my hand onto them. His hand slid down my hip to rest on my thigh.

I shuddered with nerves and lust.

"Emily." He whispered into my ear. I took a deep breath, my whole body on fire. "Go to sleep."

His hand slowly slid up my thigh, curving my rear end and landing on my back, he pushed me closer to him, constricting my arms, and he then looped his leg over mine.

I wish I could sleep… but with his body this close to mine, I'm wide awake.

…..

"Em wake up kiddo." Dean's voice cut into my ears. I quickly became aware I was in bed… alone. I must have finally fell asleep. I quickly opened my eyes and searched the room. No Judson.

"Dean?"

"Yeah, how you feeling? You've been out for hours."

"I feel fine… I drank a few beers and the nausea stopped. Something Sam came up with I guess."

"Yeah I'm just glad it worked." Sam said as he walked towards me with a PB&J sandwich. He knows I always eat PB&J when I'm getting over a cold or something. I mean come on, who can turn one down?

"Thanks." I smiled taking the sandwich and sitting up in the bed. "When did you guys get back? Is Billy dead?"

"Oh yeah, he melted with no problem. After a round or two with Dean."

I looked at Dean with a grin.

"Well he did put his grubby little hands all over my babygirl. He had it coming."

"Thanks De…. Uh, where's Judson?"

"He left a couple hours ago, asked us not to wake you up. Said you get grumpy quick." Dean laughed.

"Oh." I said looking down at my hands. "Like he left, left?"

"Yeah uh, said he got wind of a case a few states over." Sam said watching me carefully.

"Right. Yeah." I mumbled. I picked at the crust on the sandwich.

"What's wrong kiddo?" Dean asked.

"Nothing. I uh, I'm just waking up." I smiled quickly. I lifted the my food and took a bite, chewing and swallowing slowly.

Why would he just leave?

… Maybe because I pushed. Maybe because now he knows I like him and he doesn't like me back and would rather leave then turn me down. Maybe I took things too far. I never should've pulled this. It obviously didn't get me anywhere.

"Emily. You already drunkenly admitted to me that you like him. So there's no sense in hiding it now."

"I know. I just… Did he say anything else?"

"Should he have?"

"I don't know… maybe why he didn't wait for me to get up?"

"I don't know Em. But I'm sure you're just over thinking this. We've taken off on a whim for cases all the time. Hell it's the way hunters are."

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

"You can always call him." Sam suggested.

"And look desperate? Hell no. She's a Winchester. We aren't desperate." Dean argued back. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Its fine. I'm not gonna call him. I am however going to take a shower."

Once in the bathroom by myself I picked up my phone and hovered over his name… I began to type out a message: You forgot your shirt.

Judson: Didn't forget it, hang on to it for me… don't get blood on it.

Emily: Does that mean you're coming back for it?

Judson: You always think I'm gonna leave you?

Emily: … Everyone else has.

Judson: I'm not everyone else.

I smiled. Closing the phone and pushing his shirt up to my nose, breathing in his scent. Letting it take me back to laying in that bed with him.


	57. Chapter 57

Author's Note: Hey guys, sorry for the delay on the update! Finals put me through the ringer! I'm glad you guys are enjoying Judson as much as I am! Hopefully over the summer the updates will come more frequently. We're getting down to the end of the season and I'm REALLY excited to share with you guys what's coming up next season. Its gonna get interesting for sure, and there will be some original chapters for the time that Dean is in hell. Please leave a review and let me know if there is anything yall would like to see in upcoming chapters, or PM me. I love to talk with you guys and hear your thoughts on Emily's story. Love you all! Thank you for your support.

"Dean… I'm gonna need to swing by Bobby's again."

"Why?! We've gone there every week for the last month!"

"Because… He's got some new books."

"Em. Maybe we can let Bobby read through them." Sam suggested softly as Dean rolled his eyes.

"But I jus-"

"Emily. We're not gonna find some loophole in a book! There aren't loopholes. The best way to save my sorry ass is to get the colt, find the demon who holds my contract and go in gun's blazing."

"Dean! We don't even know who holds the contract and we're running out of time. We should have a back up plan incase 'guns blazing' doesn't work out for us."

"Since when has that NOT worked for us?"

"Dean. Just… don't argue with her. You won't win." Sam sighed.

"Since when did you give up on finding a loophole?" I shot at him as I leaned over the seat getting right next to his face.

"Because. I. I've looked everywhere… for months. I was digging through books long before I got you to start helping me. There just isn't anything out there."

"Well. I'm not gonna just stop looking because you two think it's a waste of time. I mean YOU TWO are the ones who lost the damn colt to Bela! You never should have let her stay alone in the room with you too assholes passed out."

"Oh! Oh you wanna start that argument again?!" Dean said in an elevated tone, daring me to continue… so that he can remind me that the reason I left was to go be with Judson. And the reason I fought with him anyways was because of my stupid idea to chase after Luke.

"No." I grumbled sitting back against the seat.

"Wise decision." Dean agreed. "Now look… we've got every resource available looking for Bela. All we gotta do is buckle down and keep looking. Work on finding the demon, interrogating, and maybe bust a few cases in the process. Okay? Please. Don't spend the last few months we have burying yourself in book after book. You realize you actually DRANK a cup of coffee last night?"

"Yes. Dean. I realized." It was nasty as hell too, but I wanted to finish the last of the stack before bed, and I needed to buy myself a couple extra hours of alertness.

"I'm worried about you kiddo, we both are." Dean said as Sam nodded in agreeance.

"Well I'm worried about you." Sam nodded in agreeance, again.

"I know. Lets just… talk about something else."

The car was silent for a few moments as we all wracked our brains for something else to discuss, but lets be honest. Saving Dean is everyone's focus right now. I went back and forth in my head… the demon who holds his contract must be powerful. Upper level. How do you track down a demon?

Sam's chuckles caught my attention.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Nothing.. Uh." Sam grinned- purposely not looking at me. "Just thought about the other night."

My face burned bright red at just the thought.

"SAM! That's not even funny!" I yelled embarrassed as he and Dean began to laugh.

"I'm sorry Em. It just. Its funny!"

"No its not… and I swear if either of you tell him I will beat you to a pulp!"

"Okay okay!" They joked with hands raised.

"We won't tell 'hottie' about your dream talking." Dean laughed to himself. I reached up and tapped him in the back of the head.

Ughhh… its one thing to dream about the guy you have a crush on. But its another thing to talk about him in your sleep… In front of your brothers. Shoot me now.

"You guys are assholes."

"Has he called?" Sam asked on a more serious note.

No… not in over 2 weeks. We've texted briefly… more me than him. Just checking in, asking if there was any Bela related news. I wish he called… I wished even more he'd show up again… I wish he knew how badly I want him to stick around. That he's one of very few people I actually WANT to be around other than my brothers and Bobby. I just… don't like being around people right now. My abilities are on edge. I keep breaking things… shattering things. Busting glass. Exploding bottles, and even the occasional 'earthquake' as other people have called it that were sleeping in rooms close to ours.

The panic attacks are better… they only happen after a really bad dream. Sometimes I find myself waking up wishing Judson was there. Wishing I could tell him about the terrors that wrack my brain… but I just don't have the nerve to type it out in a text, or speak it into a phone.

"No."

"Well… he'll come around. He always does." Dean said slightly annoyed. I snorted.

"Don't sound so excited."

"I like the kid and all.. I do. And he could be good for you… but he lied to my face. I told him not to do a damn thing and he goes and crawls in bed with you? That's not exactly following orders."

"Dean. He didn't do anything. I told you that… I had a nightmare. Couldn't sleep."

"Suuure."

"Speaking of sleep… I'm gonna try and get some now. Wake me when we stop."

"Will do kiddo." Sam said as he reached back and squeezed my knee.

I quietly grabbed my phone and flipped through the text messages… I stared at the blank message. Trying to think of what I could use as a legitimate reason to talk to him. How can I do this without looking like an idiot?

I can't… so I won't

….Or maybe I will and look like an idiot anyways.

Emily: Hey.

Luke: Hi

Emily: Find anything

Luke : Actually yeah, just stumbled across a lead. How fast can you get to Indiana?

My heart leaped and I sat straight up.

"Whoa, Em you okay?" Sam asked.

"Yes! Dean! Indiana!"

"What?" Dean asked confused.

"Drive to Indiana! Judson has a lead on Bela."

"What a coincidence." He groaned as he pulled baby around and went in the opposite direction.

….

I held up the small compact mirror as steady as I could with Dean's driving on these old roads. I tried to anchor my hand to my cheek as I applied mascara before meeting with Judson. I mean, not that the guy didn't see me puke my guts up last time, but it's a good time to remind him just how good I CAN look.

I randomly spotted Sam watching me through the rearview mirror.

"What is it Sam?" I sighed.

"Nothing. I just. Don't know why you're so worried about how you look. You're always beautiful. You don't need all that junk on your face."

"Yeah, besides. The guy cleaned your puke. There's no forgetting that." Dean added.

"Gee Dean thanks…" I added sarcastically. Then I turned to Sam. "Thank you Sammy, but I still want to look half way decent, that way he doesn't think I enjoy looking like a bum."

"I don't know many bums running around in sparkly jeans and leather pants." Dean mumbled.

"Hey! They were pleather… not leather." I defended.

"Regardless. He's seen enough of you. He knows what you look like by now."

"So what? I give up trying to look pretty for the rest of my life? Hell no. Just. Shut up and drive smoother. You're gonna make me poke my eye out."

Dean laughed and intentionally tapped the break a few times. I shot him the bitch face and after a chuckle between them he straightened up. I finished applying my make up and waited impatiently to pull into the diner we were set to meet at.

When we did, I scanned the parking lot. Mmmm… I'll never get tired of that leather jacket.

Dean pulled up next to him and we all slowly climbed out, I crossed my arms and he sent a wink my way. Inside my heart fluttered, but I put on my best poker face and just shook my head.

"Hey man." Sam said greeting him with a handshake. "So what'd you find?"

"An apartment, not far from here, rented out to one of Bela's aliases for the last couple of months. I think we still have the chance to get the jump on her if we move quick enough."

"I'm game, but lets eat." Dean said as he walked towards the diner's front door. Sam followed and Judson stood, waiting for me to make the first move towards following my brothers.

"Been busy Winchester?" He asked me.

"You can't keep calling me by my last name when I don't even know yours."

"Smith." He smiled.

"…Smith?" I questioned. "Like John Smith?"

"Yeah well, I didn't say it was a cool name. I just said it was mine."

"Well Smith, yes. I have been busy. Very busy."

"Doing?"

Sleeping cuddled up in your shirt every night, smelling it and thinking of you.

"Hunting."

"Anything interesting?"

"Nahh, couple of monsters. Hunting down some demons, interrogating them for information. Nothing fancy. Seems whoever hold's Dean's contract is higher level. We're having a hard time tracking them down."

"… And all the books you've been getting from Bobby?"

"How do you know about those?" I asked surprised.

"How do you think Bobby got the books… he's had me running state to state for days now."

"Why didn't you just deliver them yourself?

"Because your brothers are much more willing to meet with Bobby every week then me. I'm pretty sure Dean still wants to cut my dick off for sleeping in the same bed with you."

"Eh, he'll get over it."

"Sure… lets go eat. You probably haven't had a solid meal in days."

Actually I really hadn't. We'd been staying on the road most of the time. That consisted of gas station food and power bars. The few times we did stop I was more worried about showering and reading than eating, just picking at the food Dean brought.

"I am quite famished." I sighed dramatically. He rolled his eyes and walked away from me, I followed closely behind, watching his ass as he walked.

Mhm.

Once inside we sat across from each other at the table with Sam and Dean, who had already skimmed the menu and ordered us all something to drink.

"Mmm… grilled cheese." I mumbled as I scanned and caught a picture of one.

"With pickles?" Sam teased.

"Ew. Please tell me he's kidding." Judson said wrinkling his nose.

"Hey! Don't knock it till you try it." I told him. "Besides. You don't have to like what I eat… I'm the one eating it. Not you."

"Has she always been like this?" Judson asked looking between my brothers who both nodded. I promptly threw a straw wrapper at them.

"Sorry kiddo. But you're weird. And picky. Ketchup on eggs… pickles on grilled cheese? I mean that's just not normal."

"Said the man with the obsession with pie." I shot back to Dean.

"Hey. Pie is the all American dessert. There ain't nothing wrong with pie!"

"Just like there ain't nothing wrong with ketchup on eggs and pickles on grilled cheese. Assholes."

The waitress finally made it back around, and even gave me a funny look as I ordered my grilled cheese with pickles, fries on the side.

"So where's this apartment?" Dean asked as our food arrived and we began to eat.

"A couple towns over, nice penthouse suite. We should be able to gain access from the roof."

"And how do you suggest we get to the roof?" I asked.

"Fire escape I guess. It doesn't go all the way, so the last part we'll have to climb."

"Well that sounds fun." I groaned.

"Don't worry short stop. We'll give you a boost." Sam teased.

"Its not my fault you two are abnormally tall." I teased back. We all chuckled.

As we continued to eat the boys continued to discuss strategy, but I just looked at Judson. And he just looked at me back. As if we were having a conversation without actually speaking. I just enjoyed melting into those bright green eyes. I enjoyed the peace I felt when I lost myself in them… and I enjoyed the fact that he was starting right back more than anything.

"We ready to go?"

"Yeah." Judson said still not taking his eyes off mine. I finally tore myself away and followed my brothers out of the diner and back to the impala.

"You wanna follow and we'll park somewhere near by?" Sam asked Judson.

"Sure. Wanna ride Em?"

"Yeah. I'll ride." I smiled slightly, playing it off like my excitement was sky rocketing right now. Geez. I'm pathetic. Sam and Dean both shared and shot me an amused look. I shot them a warning glare. Then I grabbed my phone out of the backseat and followed Judson over to the truck. Sometimes I wish he'd show back up on the motorcycle, but Dean would NEVER let me ride. So for now I'll just enjoy riding around in the truck. Like Daddy's.

Judson held the door open for me as I climbed in, then he jumped in and we started off behind the impala.

"So, really. How have you been?"

"Is that why you asked me to ride with you? So you could make me talk about my feelings?" I said with an eye roll.

"Well you didn't call and talk to me, so I have to interrogate you now."

"Well you didn't call me either." I reminded him.

"I know… I just. I don't know."

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I mean… did you want to call me? Did you want to avoid me? Are you trying to find a clean get away from us in general… or what?!

I don't dare let myself venture into the thought that he cares for me in the same way I care for him. There just aren't enough signals- mixed or not, that could verify such dreams.

"Well. That explains it."

"Hey." He said catching my eyes. "Be honest with me. How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"You're lying."

"How is that?"

"Because I can tell by looking at you that your mind is going a million miles an hour."

That's not just because of Dean. That's because of you too.

"Well. Just because I've got a lot on my mind doesn't mean I'm not fine. It just means I've been busy."

"Emily. I thought we were past this whole putting on a mask around me thing."

"I'm not! If you already know what's on my mind why should I have to say it outloud?"

"Because I'm trying to get you used to talking to me."

"Fine. I've read every book Bobby has given me front to back and back to front and still nothing. Dean and Sam are stuck on the plan with the colt, but I have a bad feeling we're gonna need a back up plan. So that's what I've been trying to get together."

"Are you still having nightmares?"

"I've had nightmares most my life. Its just the subject that changes, not their presence. I'm used to it by now."

"Are you getting any sleep at all?"

"Yes. I am… just as much as I've been getting for months now."

"You know. I missed your sarcastic attitude." He smiled.

"I missed you." I said plainly… taking a risk. He stared at me for a moment and then went back to the road.

"So how far out form this apartment are we?" I asked to break the awkward silence.

"Maybe an hour or so. You keep my shirt blood free?"

"Yeah." I laughed. "I guess I should give that back huh?"

"Nah, I haven't missed it that much."

"Well good, because it is quite warm… and I kinda enjoy having it."

"Good, you can keep it."

I smiled and scooted over in the seat to sit closer to him. He raised his arm and I sunk underneath it as if the spot was owned by me and me alone.

"So there really isn't anything? None of the books have a single clue?" He asked.

"No." I sighed. "I keep looking though. I gotta do something."

"What about your abilities? How have those been acting."

"Touchy. We've avoided motels with large glass windows or glass sliding doors. How sad is that?"

"You'll figure it out Em."

"Don't suppose you've found anything about Demon deals either huh?"

"No. Doesn't seem to be a lot of information just sitting around. I've left some voicemails with some of my uncles old hunting buddies. We'll see if they dig anything up."

"I appreciate your help… with everything."

"Anytime. But I still want you to prepare yourself for the possibility that he can't be saved. Cause if Dean died today… you'd fall apart. I'm telling you from experience You hit that ground a lot harder than you think you will."

"I know. I just… I don't wanna give up on him yet. I can't."

"You don't have to. Just… don't set your hopes on anything either."

His ominous warning was enough talking for me. I didn't have much of anything left to say. So instead I grabbed his hand that dangled over my shoulder and piddled with his fingers, linking them with mine, twisting them, putting our fingers tip to tip, comparing the size. He continued to drive in silence. Letting me think on his words.

I hated them.

I hated how true they felt.

But I can't just… let it go. Let it happen. I have to fight. I have to try. I can't stop trying.

…

"Okay. Here's the plan… Sammy and I are gonna scale the fire escape, go in through the roof. I need you two in the building lobby. Look like a lovey couple or something, watch for her to make her escape out the front. Also- keep watch for local PD. We don't know if we'll trip an alarm or not. You're gonna be on the phone with Sam the whole time. Okay?" Dean explained as we all got out of the car.

"How are we supposed to act lovey?" I questioned.

"You're a teenager Em. Figure it out." Sam said.

"But keep your damn clothes on!" Dean warned looking between Judson and I.

Judson winked at me before taking my hand and leading me around to the front of the building.

"So how long have we been dating?" I asked him.

"Oh, just a few months or so."

"Meaning we're still in the honey moon phase?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"We'll be in whatever phase you want… baby." Judson teased as he opened the door for me. I giggled and everything in me felt warm all of a sudden. But I tried to hide it.

"I'm gonna call Sam." I said as he stepped in behind me.

"Hey Em. We're just hitting the roof."

"Coast is clear down here." I mumbled as Judson and I got comfy on the couch in the lobby. "I'm gonna put you down in my lap and on mute, holler if you need me."

"Okay, keep your eyes open." Sam said before I set the phone down.

Oh they're open… and focused on this man sitting next to me on the couch.

"Well darling." I said seductively. "What ever shall we do to pass the time?"

He chuckled. Then he reached out his hand and I took it, he pulled me closer to him, overlapping one of his legs with mine. Then he intertwined our fingers with one hand, and with the other he reached up and pushed some hair behind my ear.

"I think we're selling it." He said quietly.

"For now." I smiled.

"Emily! 5-0" I heard Sam's voice scream from the phone. I picked it up and could over hear as the police yelled at Dean and Sam to put their hands in the air. FUCK!

"Dammit!" Judson swore as police moved towards the lobby form across the road. "Follow my lead."

He grabbed my hand and led me into the elevator. Once inside he didn't push a button, but instead pulled the top two buttons on my shirt loose.

"Hey! What the hell?!"

"Jump on me."

"What?!"

"Emily! Jump up and straddle me."

With a moment of hesitancy I followed his lead. Once I had my legs wrapped around his waist he pushed me against the wall in the corner. We could hear voices moving closer towards the elevator. He turned to the doors, then back to me.

"Not exactly the way I planned to do this, but what the hell." He said before he crashed his hot mouth against mine.

Shock.

Lust.

Holy fucking shit he's good at this.

I wasted not a second before plunging my tongue against his lower lip, he allowed me to enter his mouth as he entered mine and I reached up, weaving my fingers in the back of his hair. Gripping him tighter with my legs. He kept one hand around my waist and at my back, but the other grabbed my hip and his hand rubbed against the curve of my ass.

Suddenly the elevator doors open, but Judson and I continued to lose ourselves in each other. The swat team seemed stunned and momentarily speechless, until a man in a suit came through.

"Hey! Get the hell out of here." He yelled.

Judson quickly dropped me and covered my face and body with his as he turned around.

"Dude, give us 5 minutes." He said as he turned and kissed me again, pushing me further against the wall in the elevator as he turned us closer to the exit.

"I said get out!" The man in the suit yelled.

"Alright! Fine." Judson yelled back, holding me against him as he pushed me towards the open doors and the police filed in. We began to walk away, thinking we'd actually pulled it off.

"Wait! … Emily?" The man in the suit said loudly.

I turned to look at him.

"Fuck me." I said as I realized it was agent Henriksen. The same guy who's been hunting my brothers and I day in and out since the bank incident.

"Get your hands up!" He yelled pointing a gun at me.

"Whoa! Man, lower the gun. We're not running!" Judson said as he stepped between me and the gun, both of our hands raised. Henriksen lowered his gun but other men followed him off the elevator and proceeded to cuff us. One of them grabbed my arm and twisted it behind me.

"Ow!" I hollered.

"Hey man. Take it easy!" Judson said shooting daggers at the cop as another pushed him away from me and towards the door. After I was cuffed the cop turned me back towards Henriksen.

"Well well well… I don't think we've had the chance to meet."

"Pleasure's all mine." I snarled.

"Put her in the car with him… I'll take the brothers back with me."

"You don't harm a hair on their head! Or I'll fucking kill you!" I said as the cop pulled me towards the door.

…..

"Well. This is fucking dandy." I said as I sat on the bench handcuffed to Judson. Starting at my cuffed brothers in the cell next to me. We were only separated by iron bars.

"They think ya'll are what now?" Judson asked.

"Grave digging satan worshiping body mutilating thieving murderers." I explained nonchalantly.

"And this is the FBI? Not local cops."

"Yup." Sam said popping the P as he and Dean sat on the bed in their cell.

"Hey. How come yall got a bed and we get a bench." I whined just noticing.

"Because if the two of you were given a bed and cuffed together you'd get naked." Dean said with a smartass smile.

"Not everyone is as anxious to get naked as you are Dean." I shot back.

"We share the same genes kiddo."

I sighed and lifted my cuffed hand, which also lifted Judson's. Who seemed to be abnormally calm about all this. I shook them, tapped them, tried wishing them away.

"What happens when I have to pee?" I suddenly asked.

"How about you just hold it." Judson suggested. "I certainly am."

He's avoided looking me in the eye since our… moment. In the elevator. I haven't stopped replaying it in my head. Biting my lip. Still tasting him in my mouth… mmm. It was amazing, even if he was just doing it to improvise.

Although I'm pretty sure he mumbled something right before hand about the way to do this. Not that I'm letting myself focus too much on that right now. Bigger fish to fry ya know?

"How the hell are we getting out of this one." I sighed.

"Well. Worse comes to worse, Emily kills them all and we run." Dean smiled.

"Dean! That's not funny!" I whined.

"I'm sorry Em. I just… I don't know. We're gonna have to see how it plays out."

"You know what I'm trying to decide?" Another voice said, lifting all of our attention.

"I don't know. What? Whether Cialis will help you with your little condition?" Dean smiled to Henriksen. I giggled.

"What to have for dinner tonight. Steak or lobster, what the hell, surf and turf I got a lot to celebrate. I mean, after all, seeing you three in chains…"

"You kinky son of a bitch. We don't swing that way." Dean teased.

"Now that's funny."

"You know, I wouldn't bust out the melted butter just yet. Couldn't catch us at the bank, couldn't keep us in that jail."

"You're right. Screwed up. I underestimated you. I didn't count on you being that smart but now I'm ready."

"Yeah, ready to lose us again?" I asked.

"Ready like a court order to keep you in a Supermaximum prison in Nevada till trial. Ready like isolation in a soundproof, windowless cell, that between you and me… is probably unconstitutional."

My face dropped. I was realizing just how obsessed this guy had become with catching us. Obsessions make people dangerous.

"How's that for ready?" He smiled. "Now you on the other hand my friend… when I get your prints back. I'll nail you for everything I find. BUT… come and talk with me now, tell me the truth. And I'll make sure the judge knows you cooperated. Its too late for them… but you have a chance." He said to Judson.

"Eh, I don't know." Judson said with a thoughtful face. "I always wondered what prison looked like."

"Fine. Suit yourself…. You three. Take a good long look at each other. Because you'll never see each other again."

"Go fuck yourself." I growled.

"Aw. Where's that smug smile huh? Dean? I want to see it."

"You got the wrong guys." Dean told him solemnly.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. You fight monsters. Sorry, Dean. Truth is, your daddy brainwashed you with all that devil talk and no doubt touched you in a bad place. That's all. That's reality."

How DARE he mention my father! I could feel everything in me bursting to get out. The floor began to shake. Henriksen noticed, but didn't stop talking.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled standing up, going as far as I could with Judson still sitting on the bench, him and my cuffed hand keeping me from going any further.

"What's wrong? Touchy subject? Bring you back to bad places?" He asked me as I struggled against Judson to get up to the bars and be face to face with this asshole.

"Why don't you shut your mouth?" Dean told him.

"Well, guess what. Life sucks. Get a helmet. 'Cause everybody's got a sob story. But not everybody becomes a killer."

The sound of a helicopter caught all of our attention, I looked back towards the window. Shit… we're running out of time, and options.

"And now I have three less to worry about." He smiled. "Mm. It's surf and turf time."

He walked out of the room and left us all feeling the stress.

"De what the hell are we doing, cause I'm not letting them separate us!" I said vehemently, still standing.

"Emily sit down, please." Judson said calmly as he pulled my arm and sat me back down beside him.

"Why are you so calm right now!? I mean we're royally fucked! You realize we're running out of options and I actually may have to kill these people for us to escape?! I don't want that! I don't wanna kill anyone else!"

"Em babygirl take a breath." Dean called over to me. My gaze went from Judson to him. I could feel my breath getting shorter. "Deep breath kiddo. We're gonna figure it out."

I nodded my head up and down and leaned over, placing my forehead against the palms of my hands and trying to control my breathing.

"We're gonna be okay. I promise." Judson whispered in my ear, I sat up and we finally met eye to eye for the first time in over an hour. He smiled slightly. I took a long breath, then sat back against the bars, focusing on calming down.

"We're gonna figure this out, we just gotta wait for the right time to make a move, not much we can do cuffed to each other in a cell." Sam said comfortingly.

Footsteps entered the room before another man in a suit did.

"Winchester Siblings. I'm Deputy Director Steven Groves. This is a pleasure."

"Well, glad one of us feels that way." Dean smiled and stood, he and Sam walking towards the bars.

"I've been waiting a long time for you three to come out of the woodwork."

The man suddenly lifted a gun and fired at Dean, hitting him in the shoulder, splattering blood across the wall. I screamed as Sam jumped forward and fought for the gun through the bars. Judson immediately stood and put himself in front of me, shielding me as I fought to get around him and towards Dean.

The gun fires several more times, Judson cocooned me in his arms and I ducked my head against his chest, screaming, praying that my brothers were okay.

The sound of Sam reciting an exorcism makes Judson and I both look up, the demon in the man's body whipped its head side to side, releasing the gun that Sam now had.

"Sorry, I've gotta cut this short. It's gonna be a long night, fellas." He said before billowing out in a cloud of black smoke, leaving the agent dead on the floor.

"DEAN! Dean are you okay?!" I said rushing towards the bars that separated us. He nodded, clutching his shoulder.

"All right, put the gun down!" The local cop yelled as he approached Sam with a gun pointed at him.

"Wait. Okay. Wait." Sam said dropping the gun.

"He shot him!" The cop yelled.

"I didn't shoot him, okay. I didn't shoot anyone."

"He shot me!" Dean yelled.

"Get on your knees, NOW!" Henriksen yelled. We all did as he said. Judson kept one arm around me, pushing me close against him.

"Okay, okay, okay. Don't shoot. Please. Look. Here. Here." Sam slid the gun under the bars and to them. "Look. We didn't shoot him. Check the body. There's no blood. We did not kill him. Go ahead, check him."

The cop leaned down to check the body.

"Vic, there's no bullet wound."

"He's probably been dead for months." I said shakily.

"What did you do to him?" Henriksen asked.

"We didn't do anything. " I said a little stronger.

"Talk or I shoot." He said pointing the gun at Sam.

"NO! Please don't… you won't believe us."

"He was possessed." Dean said.

"Possessed? Right. Fire up the chopper! We're taking them out of here now."

"Yeah! Do that!" Dean yelled exasperated as he held his shoulder.

"Bill." The cop said over the walking, but he was met with only static. "Bill are you there?"

Henriksen nodded for him to go outside and check things out… a few moments later he came over the walkie talkie.

"They're dead. I think they're all dead." He said, then screams and a burst of light.

"What the hell was that? Reidy? Reidy?!... What the hell was that? Come in? Reidy? Reidy?"

Henriksen left the room quickly… leaving us all down on the ground. We slowly all stood. I reached through the bars and reached out to hold hands with Dean.

"You good De?"

"Yeah kiddo I'll survive."

The lights suddenly went out.

"Uh oh… that can't be good." Judson said looking around. I used my other hand to intertwine my fingers with his. He stayed close to me, keeping the other hand rested on the small of my back.

"Em, go sit on that bench and don't leave it. Judson, keep a hand on her at all times." Dean demanded.

"Not gonna be that hard to do." Judson said as he lifted our cuffed wrists. Dean and Sam sat on the bed. Dean pulled the pillow sheet off the pillow and handed it to Sam, who attempted to apply some pressure to stop the bleeding.

"OW…" Dean groaned.

"Don't be such a wuss." Sam said as he dabbed the wound.

"What's the plan?" Henriksen asked storming in. "Kill everyone in the station, bust you four out?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked him.

"I'm talking about your psycho friends. I'm talking about a blood bath."

"Okay, I promise you – whoever's out there? is not here to help us."

"Look, you got to believe us. Everyone here is in terrible danger." Sam added.

"You think?" Henriksen said sarcastically.

"Why don't you let us out of here so we can save your asses?" I said.

"From what?" We all looked between each other. "You gonna say "demons"? Don't you dare say "demons". Let me tell you something. You should be a lot more scared of me."

He stormed out, leaving us to sit in the dark again.

"How's the shoulder?" I asked.

"It's awesome. I'll live. You know, if we get out of here alive. So anyone got a plan?"

"Hey." Dean said quietly, nodding towards the doorway. I turned to see the secretary. Nancy I think?

"Hey…" Sam says to her softly. But she backed away scared.

"Hey, uh, please. Please. We need your help. It's… it's Nancy. Nancy, right? Nancy, my… my brother's been shot. He's… He's bleeding really bad. You think maybe you could get us a towel? Please? Just one clean towel?" The girl just stood there and stared. "Look. Look at us. We're not the bad guys. I swear."

She quickly moved away.

"Well… nice try Sammy." I sighed.

But just as quickly as she went, she returned with a towel, she slowly walked towards the boys.

"Thank you." Sam smiled softly.

She walked slowly towards him. He reached out his hand.

"It's okay."

She reached inside to give him the towel, but suddenly Sam grabbed her arm and pulls her towars him, she screamed and in ran the cop with a rifle.

"Let her go! Let her go!"

He released her quickly. What in the fuck is he doing?!

"You're okay, Nance?" he asked her. She nodded. "Try something again, get shot. And not in the arm."

"Okay." Sam nodded.

"What the hell was that?" I demanded after they left. Sam turned and held up Nancy's rosary. I smiled while Dean chuckled softly.

….

"We're like sitting ducks in here." Judson said as we sat there… like we had been doing for a few hours now.

"Yeah, I know. Would it kill these cops to BRING US A SNACK?!" Dean shouted.

"How many you figure are out there?" I asked, more worried about the demon's trying to kill us.

"I don't know."

"However many they are, they could be possessing anyone. Anyone could just walk right in." Sam sighed.

"It's kind of wild, right? I mean it's like they're coming for us. They've never done that before. It's like we got a contract on us. Think it's because we're so awesome? I think it's 'cause we're so awesome."

"A contract…" I mumbled outloud. "Oh my god."

"What is it Em?" Judson asked.

"The demon that possessed Luke! He attacked me. He said he wanted to kill me to please her!"

"Who?" Judson asked confused.

"Whoever the new badass in town is I guess. They're literally hunting us. Whoever she is, she's powerful and she's wants us 3 dead."

"Well I sure as hell don't like the sound of that." Dean muttered.

"Emily why didn't you say anything before now?"

"I didn't think about it. I was focused on other things." I said giving him a knowing look… he was the only one that really knew what happened out there. He shook his head and gripped my hand a little tighter.

The local sheriff walked in without warning.

"Well, howdy, there, sheriff." Dean smiled.

The sheriff didn't reply, but he unlocked and opened the door, causing us all to stand up.

"Uh, sheriff?" Sam asked.

"It's time to go, boys." He said with a straight face… something was off.

"Uh… you know what? We're – we're just comfy right here. But thank you." Dean said taking a step back.

"What do you think you're doing?" Henriksen said walking in.

"We're not just gonna sit around here and wait to die. We're gonna make a run for it." The sheriff argued.

"It's safer here."

"There's a SWAT facility in Boulder."

"We're not going anywhere."

"The hell we're not."

Henriksen draws his gun and shoots the sheriff in the head. Judson pushes me to the ground while Sam and Dean jump Henriksen and struggle for the gun, finally they get it and shove his head into the toilet, beginning an exorcism.

"Stay back!" Dean yells as people come filing in.

"Hurry up!" I yelled to Sam.

"It's too late. I already called them. They're already coming." Henriksen said through black eyes before Sam finished off the exorcism. Leaving everyone in the room stunned.

"Is he… is he dead?" Nancy asked as he collapsed. But just as quickly as she asked he regained consciousness.

"Henriksen! Hey. Is that you in there?" Sam asked as he sat up.

"I… I shot the sheriff." He said shakily.

Dean and I looked at each other and grinned. I gave him the nod.

"But you didn't shoot the deputy." He smiled, apparently no one else in the room found this as amusing as he and I, especially Sam.

"Five minutes ago, I was fine, and then…" henriksen began.

"Let me guess. Some nasty black smoke jammed itself down your throat?" Dean finished.

"You were possessed." I told him as Judson helped me up off the ground.

"Possessed, like… possessed?"

"That's what it feels like. Now you know."

"I owe the biggest "I told you so" ever." Dean said as he handed him his gun.

"Officer Amici. Keys..." Henriksen released us all.

I immediately went to Dean, wrapping my arms around him.

"C'mon lets get you cleaned up." I told him.

"There's a medical kit in the back, I can take you to it." Nancy offered. I smiled and nodded. Dean and I followed her to get the kit and then met everyone else back in the main office area.

"All right, so how do we survive?" Henriksen asked going through his guns.

"Those are nice but... It's not gonna do much good." Judson explained.

"We got an arsenal here." Deputy Phil replied.

"You don't poke a bear with BB gun. That's just gonna make them mad."

"What do you need?" Henriksen asked him.

"Salt. Lots and lots of salt." I replied.

"Salt?"

"What, is there an echo in here?" Dean asked sarcastically as I finished bandaging him.

"There's road salt in the storeroom." Nancy spoke up.

"Perfect. Perfect. We need salt at every window and every door."

"How you holdin' up, Nancy?" Dean asked her as I went to help Sam finish painting devil's traps.

"Okay. When I was little, I would come home from the church and start to talk about the devil. And my parents would tell me to stop being so literal. I guess I showed them, huh?"

Dean gave her a sad smile.

Phil returned with bags of salt.

"Hey where's my car?" Dean asked him.

"Impound lot out back."

"Okay."

"Dean. No way… Its too risky." I tried to tell him

"Em you and I both know we need a few things."

"No. We'll make do."

"YES. I'm going."

"Well then I'm going with you."

"The hell you are! Stay here, Judson. Watch her."

"Dean you can't assign him to be my private babysitter! What makes you think I'm going to listen to him anymore than you?"

"I'm serious. Stay. Here." He warned before going outside the door.

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms as Judson put a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm not your babysitter. He just wants you safe."

"It doesn't matter! He doesn't get to boss you around, or me for that matter."

"Yeah yeah, c'mon chill out. We got enough to worry about without you two being at each other's throats."

"Fine."

"Take a breath. You're on edge."

"Yeah, I am! Demons are hunting us! Don't you think I SHOULD be a little on edge?"

"No. Because Dean and Sam are here. I'm here. I mean I'm sure you three have ended up in worst places than this."

I sighed deeply. Staring out the window watching for Dean to come back.

"Yeah. I guess." I mumbled.

"And your brothers got you out. Just like they will now."

"Judson we've never faced anything like this… we have no idea what we're up against."

"Sure you do. A bunch of dick bag demons. We know how to exorcise 'em, we know how to trap them, we know how to hunt them Em. Just… trust me. Just a little."

I nodded up and down and leaned back against him as I watched for any sign of my brother in the parking lot. He quickly turned the corner, some odd light and a cloud of black smoke charging in behind him as he ran. I yanked open the door and as soon as he was in touched up the salt lines.

"They're coming! Get away from the windows!" Dean yelled.

Suddenly the entire building was surrounded by thick black and purple smoke. Shaking the walls and beating on the doors. But luckily no one could get past the traps and salt. We stood silently and watched as the smoke slowly faded away.

We are SO fucked right now.

"Everybody okay?" Sam asked.

"Define okay." Henriksen replied.

"All right, everybody needs to put these on." Dean began to pass out anti-possession charms. "They'll keep you from being possessed."

"What about you guys?"

"I'm good." Judson said as he pulled out his charm from a necklace he had tucked under his shirt.

"Us too." Dean said as he and Sam lifted their shirts revealing their anti possession tattoos.

"I'd show you mine but uh, Its kinda personal." I winked. Dean persisted to roll his eyes at me.

"Smart. How long you had those?" Henriksen asked.

"Not long enough." I sighed.

Everyone went back to busying themselves. Judson sat on the desk beside me where I loaded rock salt into shotgun shells.

"So. You convinced your bothers to let you get a tattoo? I'm kinda surprised."

"Not really… the first one I got behind their back. They were livid. These were actually Sam's idea. I did have to do some convincing on the placement though." I smiled.

"Where is it?" He asked with a matching smile.

I just shook my head at him.

"Oh come on… show me!"

"Sorry. I insisted that since the first one was extremely hidden, that the second one should be too. I'd have to be damn near naked to see them both."

"You're really not gonna tell me where it is are you?" He asked incredulously.

"Maybe I'll just show you." I whispered to him as I stood and walked past.

I wandered to the center of the room to put the shells by the weapon's pile, but Nancy who was staring out the window caught my attention.

"Hey, that's Jenna Rubner." She said as she called us over to look at the crowd that had gathered outside…. A crowd of Demons. My stomach flopped. There were a lot of them.

"That's not Jenna anymore." Sam said as he put his arm around me.

"That's where all that black demon smoke went?" Nancy asked.

"Looks like. C'mon. We shouldn't stand by the windows."

I followed Sam and Judson over to the corner with Nancy and Phil. Dean and Hendrickson went back to stuffing shells with salt.

"Sam." I whispered to get his attention. He looked up at me. I nodded for him to meet me off to the side. I discreetly walked away, Sam following.

"What's up Em?"

"Sam how are we getting out of this one? I mean we are WAY out numbered."

"I don't know."

"Sammy. I'm scared. Something in me feels… wrong. Off. Like I can feel something bad is coming."

Sam looked at me carefully before answering.

"Just stay close to Dean or me. We're gonna get out of this Em. I promise."

A crash made us turn back towards the main room, Dean and Hendrickson come running in, guns aimed…

Ruby. Fucking bullshit! Like I needed this to get worse.

"How do we kill her?" Henriksen asked. Sam walked away from me and I quickly made my way to stand by Judson. Far away from the demon bitch. He seemed to remember that we didn't exactly get along because he instantly put himself between the two of us.

"We don't." Sam replied as he pushed Henriksen's rifle down.

"She's a demon."

"She's here to help us."

"Maybe." I added. Earning a bitchy smile from Ruby and a glare from Sam.

"Are you kidding?" Phil asked, staring at her as she stood in the devil's trap she'd walked straight into.

"Are you gonna let me out?" She asked looking to Sam. Dean and I met eyes briefly before Sam walked over and scratched at the edge of the trap, breaking the line and releasing her. "And they say chivalry's dead. Does anyone have a breath mint? Some guts splattered in my mouth while I was killing my way in here." Ruby chimed as she walked past us all and back into the office. Everyone was quick to follow her. Except for me. I rolled my eyes and eventually started walking.

"How many are out there?" Dean asked.

"30 at least. That's so far."

"Oh, good. 30. 30 hit men all gunning for us. Who sent them?" I asked.

"You didn't tell them?" Ruby said to Sam. I quickly looked to Sam, as did Dean. The same confused and slightly pissed look on his face. "Oh, I'm surprised." Ruby laughed.

"Tell us what?" Dean demanded.

"There's a big new up and corner. Real pied piper."

"That much we know. Who is she?"

"Her name's Lilith."

"Lilith?" I repeated.

"And she really, really wants Emily and Sam's intestines on a stick. 'Cause she sees Sam as competition. And Emily as a liability. Too risky to have running around."

"You knew about this? I mean I just said a few hours ago I thought someone was after us. So what the hell?" I said stepping up to Sam. He avoided looking at me. "Dammit, Sam. Is there anything else we should know?!"

"Emily. We'll talk about later." Dean said stepping between us, but I didn't miss the glare he sent Sam. He's definitely taking my side on this one.

"Yeah Emmy Lou, talk about it later. We need the colt for now."

"Don't fucking call me that!" I said turning from Sam and towards her. She took one step forward, but before I could take one myself Dean pushed me back behind him.

"Where's the colt?" She asked again.

"It got stolen." Sam admitted.

"I'm sorry. I must have blood in my ear. I thought I just heard you say that you were stupid enough to let the Colt get grabbed out of your thick, clumsy, idiotic hands." Sam stared at her with no response. "Fantastic. This is just peachy… "

"Ruby we-"

"Shut up Sam." She said raising her hand at him. I went to open my mouth again but someone's hand flew over it. I turned and realized Judson was standing directly behind me. "Fine. Since I don't see that there's no other any option. There's one other way I know how to get you out of here alive."

"What's that?" Dean asked.

"I know a spell. It'll vaporize every demon in a one-mile radius. Myself included. So, you let the Colt out of your sight and now I have to die. So next time, be more careful. How's that for a dying wish?"

I quickly shoved Judson's arm away and stepped forward.

"That sounds great actually! What do we do?" I said with a smile.

"Aww… you can't do anything teenage mutant slut. This spell is very specific. It calls for a person of virtue."

"Keep pushing your fucking luck and we won't need a spell to kill you."

"Emily knock it off!" Sam warned. I turned and gave him the death glare as Judson pulled me away to the back of the crowd.

"Like I was saying, we need a virgin." Ruby repeated.

"Nobody's a virgin." Dean laughed.

Ruby's eyes suddenly fell on Nancy… as did everyone else's. Poor Nancy directed her eyes to the ground.

"No. No way. You're kidding me, r–. You're… " Dean stuttered.

"What? It's a choice, okay?" She argued back.

"So, y-you've never… Not even once? I mean not even – Wow."

"So, this spell. What can I do?" Nancy asked Ruby.

"You can hold still ... while I cut your heart out of your chest."

"What? Are you crazy?" Dean interrupted.

"I'm offering a solution."

"You're offering to kill somebody."

"And what do you think's gonna happen to this girl when the demons get in?"

"We're gonna protect her. That's what." Henriksen interjected.

"Excuse me." Nancy said quietly. Speak up girl. They all continued to banter back and forth. "Ex– excuse me." Still nothing…. "Would everybody please shut up?!"

You go girl! Everyone fell quiet and all eyes were on Nancy, the badass virgin.

"All the people out there… will it save them?" She asked Ruby.

"It'll blow the demons out of their bodies. So if their bodies are okay… yeah."

"I'll do it."

"Hell no." I said loudly.

"No, no way I'm with Em on this. Nancy you don't need to do this."

"All my friends are out there." Nancy said softly.

"We don't sacrifice people. We do that, we're no better than them." Henriksen told her.

"We don't have a choice." Ruby argued.

"Yeah, well, your choice is not a choice." Dean argued back.

"Sam, you know I'm right." Ruby said looking to Sam only. I spun towards him as well.

"Sam?" I asked expectantly. He said nothing… man he's getting good at that tonight.

"What the hell is going on? Sam, tell her!" Dean demanded surprised at his silence.

"It's my decision." Nancy said stepping forward.

"Stop! Stop! Nobody kill any virgins. Sam, Emily, I need to talk to you." Dean yelled walking into the hallway. I followed as did Sam.

"Please tell me you're not actually considering this, Sam. We're talking about holding down a girl and cutting out her heart."

"And we're also talking about 30 people out there, Dean. Innocent people who are all gonna die, along with everyone in here."

"It doesn't mean that we throw away the rule book and stop acting like humans. I'm not gonna let that demon kill some nice, sweet, innocent girl, who hasn't even been laid. I mean, look, if that's how you win wars, then I don't want to win." Dean argued back… I can't believe we're even having this discussion.

"Then what? What do we do, Dean?" Sam demanded. It made me sick that they were arguing over THIS. This isn't like my Sam… since when has he been talking to Ruby again anyways?!

"I got a plan. I'm not saying it's a good one. I'm not even saying it will work, and its gonna be a risk. But I can't stand to just kill that poor girl."

"Okay, so, what's the plan?" Sam asked. I paid close attention. Dean looked at the floor. Ran his hand through his hair, and then he looked up at me.

Oh no…

"De… don't." I whispered.

"Em it's our only chance. That poor girl and a lot of other people are going to die if we don't try to do something. I know you can't let that happen anymore than I can."

"Dean! We have no idea what could happen. I can't control them, I don't know how they work."

"Emily you've used them to save your life in a deadly situation before. It's the same thing. It'll come naturally, you just have to let it! You don't even have to kill them. Just get them all inside long enough for us to trap them in the building, and then we do a mass exorcism. We just need you to keep them all at bay."

"Dean I could kill every single one of these people! I could fucking kill you and Sam if I'm not careful!"

"But you won't. I know you won't."

"Dean. Man I don't know… maybe she's right." Sam added.

"Well we don't have any other options. I'm not letting us turn into monsters. We are NOT cutting that girl's heart out."

What if I turn into the monster though?

Sam nodded in agreeance and they both turned to look at me. I felt my eyes begin to water… but I just nodded my head up and down. Agreeing to follow the plan.

What else can I do?

"We're gonna be okay babygirl. You can do this." Dean said as he walked by and kissed the top of my head. Sam followed him back into the room. I leaned against the wall in the hallway and slid down to the floor.

How the hell am I gonna do this?

How the hell do I not kill all those innocent people that are being possessed?

How the hell do I not kill the people in this building?

"Em?"

I looked up as green eyes moved down to be level with mine.

"Dean filled us in… You sure about this?"

I would have opened my mouth to respond but I knew it would only be the opening of the flood gates. So instead I quickly shook my head back and forth, covering my face with my hands and willing myself not to fall apart.

"Hey, don't do this… come on Em, look at me." He said as reached up and grabbed my hands with his, gently pulling them away, so that I couldn't hide from him.

"I don't wanna kill anyone else." I sniffled. "I don't want to be the monster."

"Emily hunny you're not. You're still you."

"Judson I could kill them… all of them. I could kill you. Sam. Dean."

"Or you could save us Em. You could get us all out of here."

"But what if I ca-"

"What happened to all that stubborn determination, Huh? That stubborn ass will to conquer things that just won't die… won't let Dean die. It's the same thing Emily. You have to push for it so hard, that it happens. Okay? You CAN do this."

"I'm scared." I said barely at a whisper.

"Of what?"

"Of becoming like them... and."

"And what Em?"

I just shook my head. Not able to get the words past my mouth, not able to form the thought without feeling like it was punching me in the gut. Not able to bear the pain.

"Nothing." I said wiping my face and standing.

"When are you gonna stop lying to me?"

"When are you gonna stop playing games with me?" I asked as I stood up and walked away. I turned back into the main room with everyone else. All of them staring at me… like I'm a freak. I crossed my arms over my chest, focusing on Dean. One of only a few people in this room who isn't looking at me like a freak. He looks at me like I'm worth something. Like I can do this… So for now I'm just going to hold onto that.

"Lets get everything set up." Dean said taking the attention off of me. I nodded thankfully to him. Everyone moved to busy themselves with setting up for the plan. Including Judson, who stood a ways away from me for the time being.

"Emily, we need to talk."

"About what Sam?" I said avoiding making eye contact.

"I know you're pissed at me right now."

"Pissed? No… feeling a little betrayed though. I mean what the hell Sam! I thought we got rid of this shit with Ruby. I thought we were done with her! She can't help us, so why in the fuck are you STILL taking her side on things."

"Emily she still might be able to help us, we should keep all of our options open."

"So you keeping things from Dean and I is keeping our options open?" I demanded.

"No. I didn't want to add any more stress to the situation, okay? You're already a mess with Dean dying and Dean's a mess worrying about you and me so I thought just MAYBE this one could wait for a while until we at least caught up to Bela."

"Well your plan worked great, don'tcha think? Oh wait… Bitch ass Ruby showed up and ruined it! Just like she does everything else, I'm telling you right now Sam. You get her the hell out of here, or I WILL kill her."

I stalked off in Dean's general direction. Feeling like at least him I could count on for the moment. I went over to where he was setting up the tape recorder to go over the speaker systems, I gotta admit, aside from me, this plan wasn't that bad.

"You okay kiddo?"

"Sure, other than the fact that I might kill everyone. Oh, and Sam is still talking to Ruby."

"Yeah, I'm not so thrilled about that one myself. But you're gonna do great. Okay? I have faith in you. But if it starts to be to much, you pull back, okay? Sam and I are gonna be at the main entrances holding them off, Nancy and phil on the roof, Henriksen at the overhead system. We've got this Em. We got it."

"Where will I be?"

"Main hall, so you have equal access to the front and back exits where Sam and I will be. Judson will stay with you, watch your back."

"Great." I rolled my eyes.

"Please, like you're not into it. I heard all about the elevator."

I shot nervous eyes at him.

"OH yeah. Trust me. It'll be discussed later."

"De, it was a plan to distract them and let us get away, that's all!"

"Seemed pretty intimate from what I heard." He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Ughh.. remind me to shoot Henriksen later." I groaned as I laid back across the desk. Dean laughed.

"De… I love you."

"I love you too kiddo."

…..

"Alright, everyone ready?" Dean said as we all gathered in the center of the building."

"Yeah. I think so." Henriksen nodded.

"Well I'm outta here." Ruby said walking off.

"Good riddance bitch." I smiled.

"Wait? You're leaving?" Sam asked.

"Damn right she is." I told Sam with a warning glare. I wasn't kidding about the whole killing her thing.

"Ruby look I know you don't think we can win bu-"

"I don't think Sam, I know." She replied. "I was gonna kill myself to help save you. But, if you're too dumb to live then I'm not gonna stick around and watch you lose."

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out." I said as she stomped out, I could hear as Sam followed behind her, opening the door and then resealing it after she left. Once he joined us back in the main room Dean had us all split to our positions.

"You ready Em?" Judson whispered as we took our spot.

"No."

"You can do this."

"So you all seem to think."

"Emily look at me."

"What?" I asked annoyed, turning to face him. He surprised me by grabbing my face and laying his lips against mine. This one wasn't forced, or rushed, or heavy. It was… steady. It was mind bobbling… the way my heart nearly jumped out of my body. And yet when he pulled back it was over much too soon.

"Why the hell do you keep doing that?" I breathed.

"Focus Em. Its game time." He said as he kissed my forehead and positioned himself directly behind me, so close, our bodies were practically touching. "I'm here. I won't let anything happen to you. Okay?"

I nodded my head.

"Judson." I whispered.

"Yeah?" He bent down and whispered in my ear.

"Don't let me become the monster… promise me you'll stop me if I go too far."

"I promise hun. Take a deep breath. You can do this."

I did as he said and shut my eyes, taking a long deep breath.

"Alright Dean, let em in." I hollered as I opened them. I could barely see either brother on either side of the hallway, we were only opening the two main entrances in the building, letting the demons file far enough inside to be trapped.

The silence before the doors opened was almost as loud as the slam when they did open, I watched as demons came running into the building, pushing Dean and Sam both closer to me on either side. My brothers fought to keep them at bay. Bringing them closer in.

"Anytime now Em!" Dean yelled.

I turned towards him and lifted a hand, focusing… in only a moment or two I could feel it, workings its way from my gut to my chest, down my arms and to my hands. I pushed. As if I was literally reaching out to the demons, suddenly they began to fall to the ground one at a time, I kept my hand towards Dean and turned to face Sam, repeating the action with my other hand.

It was like rage, passion, hate, and love… stronger than anything I'd ever felt before. It was like I wasn't even standing on the ground anymore but floating above it. Like air flowing all around me.

I didn't even register it as the exorcism began to play overhead.

That same red smoke began to flow through the hallway, towards the demons, filling their bodies and choking them. I watched…. With satisfaction.

They begged, they writhed in pain, the fell to their knees screaming. All of them.

Everything was red.

"Emily! Stop!" Judson yelled from behind me, but couldn't.

I didn't want to.

"EMILY! That's enough!" Dean yelled as he moved closer to us, Sam too.

"Em come on, let them go!" Judson yelled as he grabbed for my arm, I spun and shoved him against the wall. My hand keeping him there without touching him.

"EMILY! Don't! Don't do it babygirl! Let it go! Just let it go!" Dean yelled as he reached out for me, but something stopped him from reaching me. Like an invisible wall, no one could get to me, no one could touch me.

I watched as Judson's eyes stayed focused on mine. As he struggled for air, something in me began to scream. It ripped at my head, begging for me to stop.

"Ahhh!" I cried out in pain, falling to floor clutching the side of my head.

The noise in my head was sharp, it was piercing and it rang from ear to ear, unrelentlessly.

"STOP!" I screamed. "Make it stop!"

(Dean's POV)

"EMILY! Emily look at me!" I said grabbing her, trying to pry her hands away from her ears.

"Dean! Look." Sam yelled, I looked up and watched as a cloud of black smoke formed above us on either side, the demons being exorcised from the bodies, as quickly as they came they were gone. Sam and I looked to each other in shock.

I can't believe that worked. My attention went back to Emily, who was still laying on the ground in a ball, her palms shoved against her ears, blood running down from her nose and her eyes.

"Make it stop! Please!" She begged.

"Emily talk to me! What is it?!" I said as I tried to sit her up, still unable to pry her hands away.

"What's wrong with her?" Judson coughed from behind me.

"I don't know! I can't get her to stop. Sam! What do we do?"

"I don't know! She's never done this before, Dean. I don't know any more than you do."

"Well we can't just leave her in pain like this!" I screamed.

"Knock her out." Judson coughed.

"What?! No."

"If she's not conscious she won't be in pain! Just do it!."

I looked to Sam who nodded in agreeance.

"I'm so sorry babygirl." I said as I reared back and knocked her out cold.

She finally stopped moving. I picked her up and cradled her against me. Once her hand dropped I could see that she was also bleeding from her ears.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked looking between Sam and Judson.

"It worked Dean." Sam said as he slid down the wall beside us.

"But at what cost?" I mumbled. I looked over to Judson, who was still catching his breath. He kept his eyes on Emily. "You good?" I asked him.

"I'll be fine. We should get her out of here."

"Yeah." I nodded, I stood and carried her out to the main room where everyone else gathered.

"What the hell happened to her?" Henriksen asked as we walked in.

"We don't really know." Sam answered.

"Is she okay?" Nancy asked.

"She's knocked out for now, we'll know more when she wakes up."

"She did it, she saved us? Saved them?"

"I think so, some of them may still not wake up, if their bodies went through too much trauma then they'll die. But. Most of them should be okay."

Nancy smiled.

"Tell her thank you."

"We will." Sam told her.

"I better call in. Hell of a story I won't be telling." Henriksen smiled.

"So what are you gonna tell them?" Sam asked.

"The least ridiculous lie I can come up with in the next five minutes."

"Good luck with that." I laughed. "Not to pressure you or anything, but what are you planning to do about us?"

"I'm gonna kill you. Sam, Emily, and Dean Winchester were in the chopper when it caught on fire. Nothing left. Can't even identify them with dental records. Rest in peace, guys."

Sam reached out and shook his hand, I nodded, with Emily still lying in my arms.

"Now get out of here. Take care of that one, she's a fireball."

"You're telling me." I sighed as we all walked out to the impala.

"I'll sit with her in the back." Judson offered.

"No, its okay. I got her." I told him. He still looked worried about her… even though he's the one that was just almost killed. I was kinda impressed by his will to still be at her side. Most people would have used this as the reason to hit the road, but I think he's sticking around.

"Lets just get the hell away from here." Sam said as I tossed him the keys and we drove out of town.

"So. Why didn't you tell me about Lilith, Sam." I asked as I stared down at Em, asleep in my lap, using some damp gauze to clean the blood off of her.

"Like I told Em, we had enough going on. The two of you were a mess already. There was no sense in adding more trouble."

"Well whether you told us about it or not it they still came after us. It was obviously still trouble."

"Dean. I'm sorry, okay? I just. I didn't know it was going to be like this."

"How long have you known? Was it before Emily took off?"

"Yes." He said after a moment of hesitation.

"And you didn't think that maybe she wouldn't have done so if she knew demons were hunting us? They almost killed her Sam!"

"I know that Dean!"

"Well then why the hell didn't you say something! Dammit Sam!"

"You already know why Dean. I'm not gonna repeat myself."

I shook my head in disbelief.

What the hell is going through his head these days? What the hell is he thinking?

I pulled my attention back to Emily, who had a bruise forming on the side of her cheek. It makes me sick to my stomach to know it fit the outline of my fist. But, I didn't know how else to stop the pain… or whatever was happening to her.

What if I pushed too hard? Made her do too much.

Please wake up and be okay babygirl.

….

"Emily." Someone's voice cut into my head, echoing against my skull.

"Mmm…" I moaned in pain. My eyebrows scrunching together.

"Emily wake up." Judson whispered.

"It hurts."

"What hurts Em?"

"My head. Its pounding." I whispered.

Judson reached up and stroked my hair, I flinched, not intentionally. But just from the pain. It was like everything inside of my skull has been slammed into the concrete.

"I'm sorry." I said as I forced my eyes open.

"For what?" He asked confused.

"You know what, Judson… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to."

"I was kinda hoping you wouldn't remember." He admitted.

"How could I forget?... I told you. I can't control it. I don't know how."

"So what stopped you?"

"I'm not sure. It was like something inside me flipped a switch. Someone inside my head started screaming, and then there was just pain. Lots of pain. Piercing sounds. They wouldn't stop."

"I know Em."

I sat up and wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me back, gently rubbing my scalp with his fingertips. It helped to dull the pain.

"Lets get you some aspirin or something okay?" He said as he stood and walked over to the counter.

I stood up, but it must have been too fast. I suddenly felt dizzy and sat back down.

"Easy Em." Judson said as he walked back over and knelt in front of me, handing me a couple of pills and something to drink."

The door opened and my brothers came in, carrying Chinese take out.

"Well look who's up." Dean said as he set down the food and came over to me, Judson stood and stepped out of his way so he could crouch in front of me, he reached up and used his thumb to skim my cheek.

"Ow…" I flinched.

"Sorry kiddo… I didn't know what else to do." Dean said as he reached up and kissed my cheek.

"So you're what made it stop?"

"Yeah. He knocked you out cold Em." Sam said front the end of the bed.

"How's the head?"

"It hurts like hell." I mumbled.

Dean outstretched his hands as he stood, pulling me up with him.

"Lets get you some food kiddo, it'll help."

I nodded and followed Dean over to the table, picking at chicken fried rice in silence, mostly staring at Judson across the table from me, who also seemed to just pick at his food.

"So… did I kill them?" I asked. Almost too afraid to know the answer.

"No Em, you didn't. You did good. You saved them." Dean told me, reaching out his hand to grab mine.

"There were a few who's bodies had been too damaged to survive, and one Demon that got away. But for the most part, you did it." Sam added.

"One got away? How?" I asked confused.

"I don't know. But he took off not long after you hit the ground."

"…What happened? To me. While it was all happening."

"Emily does it really matter? Its over now." Dean asked.

"Yeah. It matters to me… I almost killed him." I said looking up to Judson. "I want to know what happened, and I can't remember it all. Just bits and pieces."

"Well." Sam sighed. "They came in, and once Dean yelled at you they started to fall to the ground on his side. The ones on mine panicked and tried to run, but Phil and Nancy dumped the salt lines and trapped them in, then they all hit the ground as well. The exorcism started, and that's pretty much it."

"Sam. Don't lie to me."

He took a deep breath, looking to Dean.

"You remember the red smoke you told us about when that guy at the party tried to hurt you?" Dean asked me. I nodded. "It… filled the halls. It went right past Sam and I and it… blanketed them. All of them. I don't know how you did it Em, I just know your eyes were red again, and it was like your feet weren't even on the ground, like something was holding you up in the air."

"I tried to stop you, that's when you turned and pushed me against the wall." Judson chimed in.

"Sam and I ran over and tried to stop you, but we couldn't get to you. There was this… pressure, pushing against me every time I reached for you. Then you just stopped, and started screaming. You were bleeding from your eyes, your nose, your ears… you scared the hell out of me kiddo. I wasn't sure you were gonna survive it. You just kept screaming for it to stop."

I looked down, staring at the ugly wood grain pattern on the table.

"Emily. I know you didn't mean to. Its okay, I'm fine." Judson said, but I still refused to look up and meet his eyes.

"I'm gonna take a walk." I said pushing away from the table.

"Em, don't." Sam said reaching out for me, but I pulled my arm away and walked outside. Shutting the door behind me and walking to sit on the trunk of the impala.

It was long before footsteps were behind me.

"I could have killed him Dean."

"But you didn't. You stopped." He said coming to stand right in front of me.

"But what if I hadn't, what if I can't next time?"

"Emily why are you beating yourself up right now? You saved those people!"

I couldn't stop myself, I began to cry. Dean quickly wrapped me in his arms.

"Kiddo what's wrong?"

"Daddy would hate me." I cried into his shoulder.

"What?!"

"I-I I'm a monster! He kn-knew I had to be st-t-topped."

"No Emily, that's not what he meant! Emily dad didn't know about any of this… he didn't know what would happen."

"He-he told you to kill me, Dean!"

"He didn't say it like that kiddo, he doesn't want you do die."

"He would hate me if he knew what I had become." I said sniffling

"Emily is that what's got you so upset about all this? You're worried about what Dad would think right now?"

I shook my head up and down. Crying again.

"Emily, Dad loved you. He loved you more than anything in this world! He would be proud of you for facing this, for not running from it, for not wanting to hurt people… for saving us. Time after time. Emily Dad would not be disappointed in you. I know it."

"I miss him De."

"I do too babygirl. Every day."

"What do we do now Dean? We're being hunted… we still don't have Bela or the colt."

"We fight back, like we always have."

"Its never been this hard before, De."

"Doesn't change anything Em, we don't give up. Its not who we are."

I nodded my head up and down and hugged him tightly, letting him hug me back.

"Let's go back inside, okay?"

I jumped down and we walked back in. Sam was making salt lines and Judson was throwing away trash from dinner.

"I tossed the rest of your food in the fridge, in case you want it later."

"Thanks." I smiled. He winked back.

"I'm gonna jump in the shower." Dean mumbled as he grabbed a towel and walked past us.

Judson started packing some things in his bag. I sat on the bed cross legged in front of him as he did.

"You doing okay?" He asked.

"Honestly… I don't know. But I will be."

Everything in me still felt on edge. Like the power was still pulsing in my veins. Scratching at me to get out.

"I'm gonna pick back up on searching for Bela. Reach out and see if anyone might have a lead."

"Sam's gonna try to pin the location she called them from. You could just stay and see what we find."

"The more eyes we have out looking the better." He said as he pushed something to the bottom of his bag.

"True." I nodded.

He zipped up his bag and looked at me.

"Wanna walk me out?"

"Sure. Sam I'll be right back." I said standing and walking out to his truck with him. Wishing he would just stay with us. We got out past the door and closed it behind us. He reached down and took my hand, linking it with his as we walked. He went to open the door, but I pulled his hand back.

"Wait." I said softly.

He looked at me concerned.

"What's wrong?"

"… Don't go."

He sighed and put down his bag. I released his hand and crossed my arms. He stared at me for a heavy moment, his expression unreadable. His green eyes discussing something within himself.

I would give anything to know what's in his head right now.

"Why?" He finally asked.

"Because I want you to stay."

"Dean's not gonna have it Em."

"We're being hunted by demons. He's gonna take any extra help he can get. He trusts you."

"It doesn't matter if he trusts me. It matters if you trust me."

I stepped forward and kissed him again, something I'll never get used to doing. Its like the first time all over again… He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him.

"Please. Don't go… stay with us. Stay with me." I whispered as I pulled away.

"Okay. I'll stay." He said, he kissed my forehead and I wrapped my arms around his solid chiseled torso. Feeling his muscles under his thin shirt. What was a guy like this doing kissing me?

"Lets go back in, its safer inside." He said as he pulled me along by my hand.

I opened the door but stopped dead in my tracks.

"Ruby." I groaned.

"If you two are done playing house out there we have some real issues to deal with."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked her.

"Turn on the news."

Sam picked up the remote and put it on the local news… showing the police station on fire.

No survivors…

"What happened to them?" I asked in shock, feeling my eyes sting. Judson wrapped his arm across my shoulders. I held onto it tightly.

"Considering the size of the blast… smart money's on Lilith." Ruby explained, then she proceeded to toss us all a hex bag. "Take these."

"What's in these?" Dean asked.

"Something that will throw Lilith off your track… for a little while."

"Thanks." Sam said.

"Don't thank me. Lilith killed everyone. She slaughtered your precious little virgin, plus a half a dozen other people. So after your big speech about humanity and war, turns out your plan? was the one with the body count. Do you know how to run a battle? You strike fast and you don't leave any survivors. So no one can go running to tell the boss. So next time… we go with my plan."

"Your plan was ass." I told her.

"Oh and you did so much better? You're lucky you didn't kill them all yourself. You're volatile Emmy Lou… a danger to everything around you. And the worst part is you know it."

"I think you should go now." Sam spoke up.

Ruby huffed and shook her head, but quickly went past us and out the door. I slammed it behind her.

"Don't listen to her Em. She's just scared of you." Dean said walking over towards the bed. "We shouldn't stay. She's too close. Everyone load up, we're heading out."

"Where are we gonna go?" I asked.

"I don't know Em… just away from here. I can't let her get to you and Sam."

"I'll stick around, keep an extra set of eyes on this one." Judson offered putting his hands on my shoulders.

"Yeah. I bet." Dean said with raised eyebrows as he walked past us.

"… should I be worried about that?" Judson leaned down and whispered.

"Henriksen told him about the elevator."

"Shit."

"Be afraid, be very afraid."


	58. Chapter 58

Author's Note: Hey guys! Let me know what you think in the review section PLEASE! I love you all and appreciate all your support and love! Big things are coming! Stay tuned!

2 Months.

Sixty days.

1,440 hours.

That's how much time I have left to save my brother.

That's how much time I have left to practically perform a miracle… and it's scaring the hell out of me.

Everything I've done for the last 3 days is about saving Dean. I've read book after book, spent hours during the night on Sam's computer researching websites. I don't know where else to look. I've called every contact we have, I've called and talked to Bobby till I was blue in the face.

I can't find a damn thing… and its scaring the hell out of me.

So now I'm sitting in the bathroom at 2 in the morning. Staring at the beige tiles on the floor. Dirt filling in where the grout is supposed to be. They complement the deep red walls nicely, and the off white fixtures that all have a ring of stains at the bottom are a nice touch as well.

But I can't stare at any of this for more than a minute before my eyes wander back to my bag on the sink… the same bag that holds the small black bottle. The same black bottle that holds those little white pills.

I can't sleep and its starting to really drive me crazy.

Every time I lay down to sleep I feel like I'm wasting hours. Counting how many I have left in my head…

Every time I do actually fall asleep I'm just biding my time before Dean's screams fill my ears. Visions of him being ripped apart haunt me… they won't leave me alone.

So here I sit. At 2 in the morning. In the dirty bathroom floor. Staring at the bag. Wondering if these pills would even help me… wondering if I should even try them.

Wondering what other option I have.

I reached up and pulled down the bag, opening the bottle and putting one pill in my hand. I fiddled it between my fingers for a few minutes, then I tossed it back, stood, ran the water under the faucet and swallowed it.

Hoping that I'd find some peace.

That I'd finally get some sleep again… but every time I close my eyes, its like a clock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

It won't stop! It keeps going… nothing ever stops it.

I just want to stop it.

Just for a little while.

Please. Just. MAKE IT STOP!

"Emily, what are you doing in here?"

"Nothing. I. I just… I just. I can't. I can't sleep! It just won't- It won't stop!"

"What are you talking about?" Sam said as he crouched down in front of me.

"The clock. The clock it just keeps going. I've only got. Hours… just hours."

"Em." Sam sighed. "How long have you been in here?"

"I don't know." I admitted.

"C'mon. Get back in bed before Dean gets up and realizes you're not there."

He reached out and I took both his hands, he pulled me up with ease, letting me stand on my feet for a second.

"We're gonna lose him aren't we?" I whispered looking up at him. My vision blurring on the edges of my eyesight as I felt my emotions start to take over.

"Em, please don't do this." Sam said reaching up and wiping my cheek.

"Oh god.." I breathed. "He's going to die! I-I can't stop it! What am I gonna do?! I, I can't do this!"

"Whoa sweetheart calm down." My breathing pattern increased dramatically as I felt like the weight of the world started to cave in around me. Suffocating me.

"Sammy I- I can't, I can't breathe!"

"Shhh, deep breaths Em. Come on. Calm down."

I clutched onto his shirt for dear life as he rocked me back and forth. I felt like my knees could give out at any second. Sending me to the floor if he wasn't holding me up.

"Sammy I don't want him to die!" I cried.

"Shhh, Emily he's not gonna die. Its okay. We're gonna be okay." He repeated over and over again but I still felt like the world around us was on fire. That we were just biding our time until it all fell to the ground in ash.

"Deep breath kiddo." Sam whispered as my breathing began to slow down again. Little by little the fire felt farther away.

So here I stand… in the dirty bathroom at 2 in the morning.

Losing my fucking mind.

"Let's get you back to bed." Sam said as he squeezed me in his arms one last time. I nodded and finally released my hold on him. He led me out of the dirty bathroom, and over to Dean's bed where I had crawled out over an hour ago.

I kissed Sam on the cheek before laying down.

I pulled the blanket up as far around me as I could, then I moved to lay my head in the crook of Dean's shoulder. Letting the smell of cologne and whiskey lull me to sleep again.

He's here.

He's still here.

He's going to be okay… he has to be.

….

"Emily you sure you don't want to sit in the back?"

"No. I wanna stay up here." I said as I laid my head on Dean's shoulder. I tried to stay out of the way as he drove, but still stay as close to him as possible.

"Could you scoot over just a hair, I'm up against the door over here kiddo." He complained. I scooted closer to Sam, who just looks at me with pity every time I acknowledged him this morning, so I've decided to ignore him for the rest of the day.

"Plenty of room back here." Judson smiled as he stretched out comfortably.

"I'm good." I said softly, letting Dean get readjusted before I leaned against him again. I could tell he was getting a little frustrated with the clinginess this morning, and as pathetic as I felt about it all, I still couldn't bear to let myself be more than a foot away from him.

It's like subconsciously if I just never let him go, then he can't leave. He just can't.

So if saving him means never being more than a foot away from him for the rest of my life so be it. He'll get over it.

"So I say we grab some grub, hit up the records on this place and cruise in tonight." Dean suggested.

"Sure." I mumbled.

"Yeah, sounds good to me." Sam agreed.

Judson simply nodded from the backseat.

Dean pulled into the first diner we came across in town, it was the same as every other diner we ever went to. Contrasting colors, daily specials on the sign outside, and more often than not a small gas station attached.

I moved to get out and follow my brothers inside but someone grabbed my arm as I stood.

"We'll meet you guys inside in a minute." Judson said, Dean nodded and him and Sam continued to walk. I sighed, watching them until they were out of sight before turning and facing Judson.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

"I don't know… I was hoping maybe you would tell me."

"I don't want to talk about it." I whispered, begging him silently not to make me.

"Emily just tell me what the hell is going on. You know I'm not gonna back off until you do. You're overly clingy this morning. Why?."

"I just… I'm running out of time." I admitted.

"So what about that has changed in the last 24 hours that's got you so on edge?" He asked as he stepped closer to me. Putting his hands on my arms. Leaning in to keep our conversation quiet.

"I don't know. I just woke up one day and realized it… Like. It just hit me all at once that I have 2 months… that's it. Its been 10 months and I haven't found ANYTHING to save him yet. I'm running out of time, and this clock in my head. I see it. I see the numbers every time I try to sleep, they just keep going. They never ever stop. They just go one after another, after another, again and again and again and I-"

"Whoa! Take a breath, Em." Judson interrupted my rambling.

I inhaled deeply through my nose and leaned back against Baby, Judson stood over me and held me against him.

"Are you sleeping at all?" He whispered into my ear.

I shook my head back and forth.

"I got a little bit last night after a meltdown in the bathroom with Sam, but other than that I can't stay asleep for more than an hour or so without the nightmares. And that's when I actually can fall asleep… most of the time the clock in my head just teases me until I get up and go digging through more books."

"Emily you can't keep doing this, you'll exhaust yourself before 2 months is close to being over."

"Well that do I do then? ! I'm all ears for an answer!" The street light above us shattered suddenly and caused me to jump, shattering three more.

"Okay, first of all you're gonna chill out. Before you bust every lamp on the street. Second of all you're going to try and push this all aside for just an hour or two. Just… focus on being here. Right now. Don't think about what's coming, don't think about what's happened. Just live in the moment. Give yourself a break, because you are seriously on the edge right now."

"I know." I mumbled. "Can we go back inside now? Please. I just wanna be with Dean."

"Emily now is about the worst time to stick to him like cling wrap, its only gonna make this w-"

"Make it worse! Okay, yeah I get it. You only tell me this every other fucking day. But I need him… please. You don't understand!"

"Actually I do."

"NO YOU DON'T!... You don't know how it feels. To listen to him scream in your head at night, and wake up and have to pretend like it's not gonna happen… you don't get it."

"Fine… After you." He said pointing his hand towards the diner. I pulled away from him and quickly walked into the diner, taking my seat in the booth next to Dean. Judson sat across from me and stared judgmentally as I buried myself under Dean's arm.

"Kiddo, what is going on with you today?" Dean whispered to me.

"Just a bad night." I mumbled back. He kissed the top of my head and didn't fight it as I scooted closer to him, keeping his arm around my shoulders as the waitress made her way over to the table.

"What can I get you guys?"

"Um. Just water with lemon and some fries, thanks." I smiled when she made it around the table to me.

"You want some chicken strips or something with those Em? Protein would really do you some good." Sam suggested.

"Sure, that's fine."

The waitress nodded and walked away.

"So two of us should hit the county records department, pull up some death records. The other two should get a solid history on this place. My best guess is to start at the library, maybe swing by the historical society in town. See if they know anything." Sam said.

"Me and the uh, spider monkey over here will take county records." Dean said nodding to me.

"I guess that leaves you and I to tackle history of the place." Sam said to Judson.

"Sounds good." Judson said still not breaking his eye contact with me. I don't know what he thinks staring at me is going to do right now other than irritate me more. I need this meal to hurry up and end…

….

"Hi, I'm Detective Brown, this is my intern Ms. Copeland. We'd like to pull a few of your death records if you don't mind." Dean smiled to the older woman behind the desk. These older women always swooned over Dean. I simply stood by and smiled sweetly, pretending to be nervous and over eager.

"Well of course, let me take you on back to the records room." She said as she slid her glasses down her nose and winked to Dean. It was all I could do not to laugh. I elbowed Dean for a second to catch his attention, he simply winked at me.

What a kiss ass.

"The ones on this wall are all the records from now back to the 60's and the wall over there are from the town's founding in the late 1800's to the 1950s. Every person who's ever died in this town will be mentioned in one of these books."

"Um, excuse me ma'am. I have a question that you may or may not be able to answer. There's a local house in town, I believe it was owned by the Morton family. Could you perhaps tell me when that house was built?" I asked.

"Oh I'm sorry dear I'm not sure. Honestly that place gives me the heebie jeebies. I try to avoid it really."

"Okay, thank you for your time. We won't be too long in here." I smiled at her. She left us alone and Dean pulled down a box from one end of the wall and I grabbed one from the other.

"So you gonna talk to me or just glue yourself to my leg for the rest of the day?"

I sighed and sat down on the table in the center of the room.

"I just had a bad night De, that's all."

"Emily I've seen you have bad nights… I've seen you cling to me or Sam after a bad dream. But today you are literally attached to me. Not that I mind, I don't really but I'm worried about you."

"You're running out of time." I whispered to him.

Dean put down the files in his hand and walked over to stand right in front of me.

"Look at me… We're gonna figure this out kiddo. We're gonna do everything humanly possible to stop this."

"And what if nothing works… what then?"

"Then we try even harder. We leave no stone unturned."

"I don't wanna lose you De."

"Emily I swear to you right here, right now… I will do EVERYTHING in my power to stay with you and Sammy. You've just gotta have a little patience and a little faith. I got us this far, don't start doubting me now."

I nodded my head up and down and went back to digging through files. Hoping we were going to be stuck in here a while just the two of us. Sometimes I miss the days before Daddy went missing… when Dean and I were on the road together alone. Always having each other's backs, being in a routine with hunts and down time… we just work well together. There's no clash, there's no friction. Everything was always good… I miss times being that simple.

I miss it being Dean and I against the world.

…

"You guys get the death records?" Sam asked as he and Judson climbed in the backseat.

"Official death records no, BUT… we did find the missing person's reports on every person who's gone to visit the house and was never seen again. Only one body was found months later not far from the property. Probably not related to the other deaths to be honest." I explained.

"Okay, so we need to go check this place out before midnight. Supposedly after midnight the places goes on some supernatural lock down, we'll be trapped just like all the missing vics."

"So in and out by midnight. Sounds great." Dean smiled.

"So when do we head that way?" Judson asked.

"After dark. Its always spookier at night." I winked at him. He gave me a half a smile.

…..

"Dean, stop walking so fast!" I whisper yelled trying to keep up with his long strides as we walked form where we hid Baby on the back of the property up to the house.

"Well thanks to you we're cutting things a little close so I'm kind of in a hurry."

"Its not my fault the shower had shitty water pressure! Have you seen how thick this hair is?! You try getting all the conditioner out of it with a leaky ass faucet."

"Oh would you two shut up already! We're here, lets get in and scope it out, wait outside till midnight then see if we can get back in. Maybe we won't be trapped that way." Sam said stepping between us and breaking up the arguing.

"Fine." I said crossing my arms and slowing down to walk with Judson who was trailing behind us.

"You two always bicker like this?" He asked me.

"Always. It's what makes us get along so well. We don't keep things form each other. If we have something to say we just say it… if it pisses us off, we say that too. Then we get over it."

"Are you at the getting over it part yet? Cause hearing you bitch about the shower pressure is getting redundant. Its been shitty for the last 3 motels."

"Bite me. You three don't understand the struggle."

"Oh I'm sure the struggle is real." He said rolling his eyes playfully. I punched him in the ribs and he laughed at me, pushing me so that I almost tripped over my own feet.

"Wait. Hold up." Dean said getting our attention.

"What?"

"There's someone inside."

I followed his line of sight to see lights moving around inside the house. More than one of them. Probably a bunch of local kids getting stoned off their asses.

"Got a badge on you?" Sam asked him.

"Always." Dean said lifting his badge and walking forward.

"Em you and Judson hang back, don't let them spot you. They're not gonna buy it if all four of us try to play cops."

"Sir yes sir."

We entered the house, there were definitely people in here. I could hear footsteps from upstairs, and voices drifting down the stairs.

Dean looked at us and nodded, we stepped back into a corner and let the shadows hide us. I put my back against the wall and Judson stood over me.

"You know…" I whispered to him. "This might be kinda hot if my brothers weren't two feet away."

"Why is that?" He asked back, leaning in to whisper in my ear. It was pitch dark in our little corner. I could barely make out his outline, so I reached up and ran my hands up and down his chest.

"People get a little braver when they have the darkness to hide behind."

"People like you?" He whispered back, his hot breath tickling my ear. I moved my hands up and around his neck, pulling him closer to me. Putting our lips close enough together that I could practically feel the tension between them.

"Freeze! police officers! don't move!" Dean screamed. I jumped back away from Judson nervously before I realized Dean wasn't talking to us. I blushed with embarrassment. Thankfully it was too dark for Judson to see. Flashlights flew up in the air and there were screams.

"All right. All right. All right. Take it easy, take it easy." Sam said trying to calm the situation.

"Let's see some identification."

"What - are we under - under arrest?" One of the guys asked.

"We are unarmed!" Another one said nervously.

"These poor guys sound terrified." I whispered to Judson. He chuckled.

"5 bucks says one of them pissed their pants." He whispered back. I leaned into him again and giggled.

He put his arms around me, and in the dark… I did feel brave. Something about touching him without actually seeing him was so hot. I ran my fingertips up and down along the side of his rib cage. I could feel him shudder under my hands.

His trailed from my waist up my body, until either hand framed my face. His thumb traced my bottom lip lightly, until I reached out and grazed it with my tongue. He held me in place as he bent down and placed his lips against mine. I bit down on his lip and sucked it into my mouth. Causing him to moan slightly.

"Wait… I know you." One of the guys said loudly. This caught my attention and I quickly pulled away from Judson.

"What's wrong?" He whispered.

"Shh… listen." I said hushing him.

"Yeah, sure you do. Give me some identification." Dean replied.

"Yeah, ho- whoa, hold on a second. I know the both of you guys. Yeah!"

"Shit." Sam cursed loudly.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Uh, West Texas... the... the tulpa we had to take out. Those two goofballs that almost got us killed... The hellhounds or something?"

"Fuck me." Dean groaned.

"NO FUCKING WAY!" I said loudly giving up our position in the corner, I quickly moved towards the center of the room with my brothers, Judson right behind me, keeping a hand on my back… I didn't mind.

"Yeah, we're not hellhounds anymore, okay? It didn't test that well." The dark haired man I quickly recognized as Ed said.

"Ed, what's going on?" Another unfamiliar man asked.

"Dude. What the fuck are you wearing?" I asked looking him up and down. He was in some military uniform and some giant headpiece with a camera dangling from it.

"They're not cops, buddy - no, not at all." Ed told him.

"Ed, you had a partner, too, didn't you - A different guy?" Dean asked.

"Oh, yeah, yeah."

"Is he around here somewhere?"

"He's running around, chasing ghosts."

"Seriously? Again… you two never learn do you?" I said shaking my head.

"Who the hell are these guys?" Judson whispered to me.

"I'll explain later." I whispered back.

"Okay, well, listen, you and Rambo need to get your girlfriends and get out of here." Dean said forcefully.

"All right. Listen here, chisel chest, okay? We were here first. We've already set up base camp. We beat you." Ed said defensively, I had to stifle my laughter.

"They were here first." Dean said to Sam, who also seemed extremely amused.

"Mm hmm." Ed nodded proudly. Dean quickly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.

"Oh, god." Ed trembled.

"Ed..." Dean sighed.

"Yeah?"

"Where's your partner?"

"U-upstiars."

"What are you doing in the Morton House, Ed - on leap year - what are you thinking?" I asked him.

"We're here to spend the night, okay? It's for our TV show."

"What? Great. Perfect. We FINALLY get killed off and now these assholes are gonna have us all over the TV!" I said throwing my hands in the air.

"Well, nobody's ever spent the night before." The other guy, Corbett said trying to defend Ed.

"Uh, actually, yeah, they have."

"Uh, we've never heard of them." Ed smarted back to me.

"Yeah, you know why? 'Cause the ones that have haven't lived to talk about it!"

"Oh, come on, I don't believe you."

"Look - missing-persons reports going back almost a half century. John Graham stayed on a dare - gone. Julie Wilkerson - gone. There are tons more. All of them came to just stay the night through, always on a leap year. The only body they ever found was the last owner, Freeman Daggett." Sam said showing him the papers.

"These look legit." Ed nodded appreciatively.

"They are legit. Look, Ed, we ain't got much time here, buddy. Starting at midnight, your friends are going to die." Sam warned him.

Suddenly there are screams and a flood of feet and lights coming down the stairs.

"Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Guys! Guys! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! We got one! Corbett! Corbett, we saw one! We saw one!" Harry came down the stairs screaming.

"Dammit." I rolled my eyes.

"These guys aren't serious are they?" Judson asked me. I sent him an aggravated blank stare. He quickly caught on that they were unfortunately very serious.

"Why didn't you just shoot them in Texas?"

"I'm asking myself the same thing right about now… although to be fair. I did almost shoot Harry's balls off."

"What?!"

"Well he was a little pervy back in Texas."

"Who, glasses over there?"

"Yup… but I didn't feel like shooting someone in the balls again. So I let him go."

"Again?!... When did you shoot someone in the balls?"

"Can we have story time later?"

"Oh. We're definitely having story time." Judson said nodding his head up and down quickly.

"It was a full apparition! It was like a class four. It was a spectral illumination! It.." Harry was rambling.

"It was amazing!" A girl suddenly cut him off.

Then Harry began to shine lights in our faces.

"Hey, aren't those the assholes from Texas?"

"Yes." Ed nodded curtly.

"All right, let's have this reunion across the street, guys." Dean said trying to usher people out.

"Crap! What are you guys doing here?... except for you sweetheart. My invitation to you always stands." He winked at me.

I gagged a little.

"Alright Romeo! Come on, come on. We'll get you ice cream - our treat. What do you say? Let's go." Dean said trying again to push them towards the exit.

"Yeah, I say no."

"Well I say you don't have a choice." I reminded him pulling out my gun. His eyes instantly got wide and his hand went straight to his balls.

"Look at this. Look, look. Ed, Ed. No. No. Look at this. Okay, honest-to-god proof, all right?" The girl interrupted us, going over to Ed. They watch some footage on a camera. Definitely a death echo, but what the hell was it doing here?

"Are you people listening?! We have to leave!" I reminded them all.

"What kind of reading did we get?" Some guy with another camera asked.

"Uh, it was a 10.9."

"10.9?"

"Yeah, it was 10.9. It was almost 11. I came out, and I was like, "what's going on?" And I was like - wait, watch this. Oh! He got blasted. It was crazy."

Dean nodded at me and Judson, we stepped off from the group slightly to talk.

"Think we were off on this? I mean, that was just a death echo." Sam asked.

"Yeah, but what's it doing here? Did anybody get shot here?" Dean asked.

"No. Not that any of us found." I told him.

"What's a death echo?" The cameraman asked spying on us.

"Dude. Privacy?" I said annoyed.

"Look, we got a problem here. That ghost ain't it." Sam said getting every one's attention.

"What's a death echo?" The cameraman asked again.

"Echoes are trapped in a loop, okay? They keep replaying how they died over and over and over again, usually in the place where they were ganked. It's about as dangerous as a scary movie." Judson answered.

"Who's he?" Harry quickly asked me. I rolled my eyes instead of responding. Judson leaned forward and draped his arm over my shoulder possessively. I kinda like it… not gonna lie.

"So maybe the echo's not dangerous, but maybe something else is." Sam said.

"You're right. All right, we need to get out of here, guys. Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. Pack it up." Dean said, but they weren't listening.

I lifted my gun and shot it up through the ceiling. Everyone ducked and the girl with them screamed.

"What the hell?!" She yelled.

"Time is running out!" I yelled back.

"We're moving!" Dean said pushing them towards the doorway.

"What about all of our equipment? What are we gonna..." The girl asked.

"We'll get it in the morning sunshine." Dean said.

"We got more material. We got all kinds of stuff. We'll make you guys recurring guest stars." Harry bribed. I snorted at his offer.

"Wait! Wait! Where's Corbett?" Ed suddenly yelled.

"Corbett!" Harry yelled. No response. DAMMIT!

"We'll get him out, you guys just go." Sam said.

"No man left behind." Ed said standing his ground. I was fixing to open my mouth when a horrible scream caught us all off guard.

"That was Corbett." Ed whispered.

"That was Corbett! Corbett!" Harry yelled. They all began to run up the stairs.

"NO! Get out!" I yelled running after them, Judson and my brothers hot on my tail.

"Guys! Go back!" Sam yelled.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean groaned from behind him as he checked his watch.

"Corbett!" They yelled on and off.

"Let me go! Guys!" A terrified Corbett screamed in the distance.

"Corbett, you need to come back, Corbett!" Ed yelled.

"No!" Corbett yelled once more, his screams fading away.

"That can't be good." I said looking to Judson. He nodded.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! Come on." Dean said pushing his way through them all.

"Corbett's... He's not here. Let's go. Let's go." Sam said.

"No. No. No. But that's Corbett. No, that was Corbett. Didn't you hear that?" Harry said frantically.

Dean and I got behind the group and began herding them back down the staris.

"Here we go. Keep it moving. Keep it moving." Sam sighed.

"Hey, hey, hey. Watch him. Watch him." Dean said as Harry tried to squeeze past Judson and I.

"I don't think so." I smiled and pushed him down a step or two. "Move it! Go."

We were halfway down the stairs when a beeping noise behind me started. I looked back curiously at Judson. He lifted his watch, everyone watching.

"It's officially 12:01." He sighed with his watch lifted into the air.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled marching down the rest of the steps.

Everyone followed him down.

"Oh, god, what's happened? Oh, god. He's gone. He just disappeared." Ed mumbed.

"Okay, let's just go through all the angles. Let's go through all the cameras we have." Harry said to his group of people.

"Well, it's 12:04, Dean. You good? You happy?" Sam said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I am happy."

"Let's go hunt the Morton house, you said, it's our Grand Canyon." He mocked.

"Sam, I don't want to hear this."

"You got two months left, Dean. Instead, we're gonna die tonight." Sam said angrily as he picked up a chair and smashed it against the sealed doors. I turned towards Judson and buried myself in his shoulder. He put and arm around me and softly kissed the side of my head.

"Are we gonna die in here?" I whispered.

"No one's dying tonight? Okay."

I nodded and didn't let him go.

"Whoa! what the hell is going on guys?" The camera man turned and asked us.

"I'll tell you what's going on. Every door, every window, I'm guessing every exit out of this house - they're all sealed."

"But w-why are they sealed?" The girl asked.

"It's a supernatural lockdown, okay? Whatever took Corbett doesn't want us to leave, and it's no death echo. This is a bad mother, and it wants us scared." Dean told her honestly.

"Or it just wants us." I added nonchalantly.

Suddenly their EMF meters began to go off rapidly.

"Uh, guys, the camera's fritzing again."

"Whoa. Whoa. Guys, the EMF's starting to spike. This is a big one!" Ed said.

"Everybody, stay close. There's something coming." Sam said. I quickly moved to stand beside him and Dean, holding hands with Judson. Pretending not to notice as Dean looked down and glared at us out of the corner of his eye.

Another ghost appears in the center of the room.

"Is this the same echo you guys saw earlier?" Dean asked.

"No, it's a different guy." Harry replied.

"Multiple echoes? What the hell's going on?" I asked.

"Beats me." Sam shrugged. Dean stepped forward.

"Okay. All right. All right. All right." He stood in front of the ghost. "Uh, hey, buddy! Hey. Hey. Wake up. You're dead! Hello!"

"What's he doing? What's he doing?!" Harry asked nervously.

"It's rare, but sometimes you can shock an echo out of its loop if you can talk to the part of the ghost that's still human, but usually you have to have some kind of connection to the deceased." I explained.

"Come on! Wake up! Be dead!" Dean yelled.

There was an odd sound coming from somewhere in the distance, slowly getting louder.

"You guys hear that?" Judson asked.

"What's that sound?" Harry asked.

The noise gets louder and louder, until I finally recognized it as a train blowing its horn, a bright light shined on the ghost and in a split second he was hit by something large and disappeared.

"What the fuck!" I said jumping slightly.

"Where the hell did it go?" Ed asked.

"Dude, there's no records of any of this here. No one got shot here. Obviously, no one got run over by a freaking train." Dean said to us.

"Something's off here De… I can feel it."

"Stay close Em." Sam said as he pulled me closer to his side, I dropped my hand from Judson's unwillingly.

"Did the echoes take Corbett?" The girl, Maggie, asked.

"Yes. No. I don't know. We don't know what's doing what here; that's what we're trying to figure out, okay?" Dean answered frustrated.

"All right, stay close. Okay, look, um, death echoes are ghosts, okay? Now, ghosts - they usually haunt places where they lived or where they died." Sam began to explain.

"Except these mooks didn't live or die here." I smiled.

"So, what are they doing here?" Maggie asked.

"Hey, give the lady a cigar." Dean mocked. "All right, seriously, does looking at this nightmare through that camera make you feel better or something? I mean..." Dean threw his hands up at her as she pointed a camera in his face.

"Um...I, uh... Well, yeah. Uh, yeah. I think so." She stuttered. I rolled my eyes and followed Sam and Dean through the house. We came across what looked like an office and began to dig through filing cabinets.

"Freeman Daggett, house's last owner, officially commended for 20 years of fine service at the Gamble General Hospital." Sam said holding up a broken plaque.

"He was a doctor?" Judson asked.

"Janitor." Sam corrected.

"This looks like his den. When'd you say he died - '64?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, heart attack." I answered.

"What are these, c-rations?" Maggie asked holding up old MRE packs.

"Yeah, army-issued, three squares - like a lifetime supply." Judson said looking over the boxes she found.

"God, is that all he ate?"

"One-stop shopping."

"Hello, locked." Dean smiled as he found a safe in the wall.

"Oh, come on, guys. This is ridiculous. I mean, how the hell is this supposed to find Corbett, huh? We should be digging up the friggin' floorboards right now." Ed demanded.

There was a loud bang as Dean pried open the safe.

"Crap. Crap. Taxidermy. Okay. You said Daggett was a hospital janitor?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." Sam nodded.

"Ewww. Got three toe tags here - one, death by gunshots, train accident, and suicide." I said holding them up and trying to hold down my dinner.

"Ewww!" Sam replied.

"What?" Harry asked not catching on.

"Well, that explains why all the death echoes are here. They're here because their bodies are here...somewhere in the house?" Sam explained slowly, as if talking to a five year old… which he basically was.

"Daggett brought the remains home from the morgue. To 'play'." I added when Harry still had that blank stare on his face.

"Ewwwwwwwwww! Ugh!" They all said in unison.

"That's nasty, dude." The camera man added.

"Harry. Harry, I got an 8.6 and climbing fast. Something huge is coming. Look. Something big is coming." Ed said catching our attention again. The cameras all began to flicker.

"It's past 11, you guys."

I quickly stood next to Dean, Judson on my other side, his hand on the small of my back.

"Nobody move! Hold on. Hold on. Stay quiet." Dean instructed.

There was another loud static noise coming from the cameras that made me jump slightly. I reached down and gripped Judson's arm.

"It's really cold in here." Ed suddenly said.

"Oh no… this isn't the echo." I whispered to Dean.

"Sam?" Dean said.

"Some kind of surge." Ed explained.

"Sam?!" Dean yelled frantically.

"Where'd he go?!" I asked.

"Oh, no." Maggie mouthed as Dean bent down and picked up Sam's flashlight from the ground.

"SAM!" I yelled frantically, letting go of Dean and taking off down the hall.

"Sam! Answer me dammit! SAM!"

Dean was hot on my tail, also yelling for Sam to respond.

"Oh god… Sam!" I said feeling the panic in me rise. I stopped and leaned back against the wall. Dean pushed forward and kept looking, as did the others.

"Corbett! Sam!" Ed yelled as he passed us.

"Corbett! Talk to us!" Harry yelled form behind him.

I took in some shallow breaths and tried to focus on where in this house he could have gone, how someone could have grabbed him from RIGHT beside us.

"Em, talk to me." Judson said as he stood in front of me.

"I can't find him! I- I don't know where he could be! He was right there!"

"I know hun, we'll find him. Okay? We will."

"I can't lose him too! I can't Judson, you know I can't!"

"I know, I know… we're gonna go find him. Right now, come on. Lets stay close to the group."

I nodded and let Judson lead me back to Dean and the rest of the group.

"Sam!" Dean was still yelling.

"De! De… do you see anything?"

"No, I- I don't know what happened!"

"Could he have been in the walls?! Like the guy from the apartment with the blondes?"

"No way, house like this doesn't have big enough space to fit a Sam in the wall." Judson replied.

"Sam!" I yelled out again, spinning in the room.

"Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed! Ed!" Harry began to yell from the other room.

"Get off Harry!" Maggie quickly yelled after. Dean marched past us and into the room, Judson and I right behind him.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Cut it out! We're down by two people!" Dean yelled breaking up their fight. "Sam! Sammy!"

"Seriously? You guys are fighting right now?! You realize your friend Corbett is probably dying somewhere in this house right now!" I yelled.

"Emily, lay off, they're freaking out enough as it is." Judson whispered in my ear. I shook my head and went back to looking for Sam.

"Sammy! Sam!" I yelled again.

We followed Dean as he rushed back to Daggett's office area.

"Dean, what are you doing?" I asked as he dug through the desk.

"Okay, so Daggett was a cold war nut, okay? He was - he was an amateur taxidermist. He liked to slow dance with cadavers, and all he ate were c-rations, so what the hell are we looking for?!"

"Horrible little life." Maggie sighed.

"Yeah, a lonely life...A cold war life. He was scared. He was scared...he was scared." Dean kept repeating.

"Scared of what? What? Dean, where are you going?" I asked as he took off to another room. I jogged to keep up with him.

"Guys like Daggett back then, the ones who were really scared of the Russkies - they built bomb shelters. I'm guessing he's got one. I'll bet you it's in the basement."

I finally caught on to what Dean was saying and turned for a second to tell Judson something when a door in the hall way slammed, cutting the group in half.

"Woah!" Harry yelled from behind me.

"Dean! DEAN!" I yelled frantically beating on the door.

"EMILY!" Dean yelled back as he slammed into the door.

"Um, who closed the door?" I could hear the cameraman ask from the other side.

"It did. It wants to separate us." I said more to myself.

"EM! Listen!" Dean yelled through the door, I pressed my ear against it. "Get everyone down the main room, get in a circle, and stay there!"

"Okay! Dean becareful! Go get Sammy!"

"I will, Judson?"

"Yeah, I'm here." Judson yelled back.

"Don't you take your eyes off of her for a second!"

"Wasn't planning on it." Judson replied before taking my hand and leading me away.

"You three follow us, stay close. Grab the back of my shirt, don't let it go, make a line and hold on to each other. No one lets go. Got it?" I told Harry. He grabbed the back of my shirt and I gripped onto Judson's arm. Letting him lead us down the stairs.

"Okay, you guys stand right here for a minute." I said once we reached the bottom. Judson tossed me a box of salt and we began on either side to make a circle, meeting in the middle.

"Alright, everyone in." I said tossing the box aside.

"Harry, hurry up. Get in the circle. Get in the circle. Come on. Come on. Quick, quick." Ed mumbled.

"Guys, guys, I don't want to die, okay, and I don't want you to die." Harry said back.

"Harry, listen - listen to me, okay? listen. If we don't die... ...it's totally okay if you, uh, do my sister."

"EW!" I quickly said. Maggie reached up and smacked Ed in the back of the head.

"You good Em?" Judson asked now that we were safe for the moment.

"I'll be fine as long as both my brothers come through that door."

"They'll be okay. Dean's got this."

I nodded, but still felt this overwhelming fear that I could lose them both right here, right now.

I leaned my head forward and laid it against his chest.

"They'll be okay Em. I promise." He whispered before kissing my cheek.

"How can you promise me that? We're not even helping. We're standing in a salt circle like cowards."

"Dean want's you safe. So you're safe. He can't concentrate on getting Sam if he's watching for you too. So we stay here, and let Dean do his thing. Okay? Its better this way."

"It doesn't feel right."

"Well we'll just have to tough it out." He half smiled as he pushed some of my hair behind my ear, letting his hand linger on my face. I reached up and kissed his lips softly. Pulling away and wrapping my arms around his waist, he held me and softly rocked us back and forth.

"So… this your boyfriend? Is he why I never got your number?" Harry asked.

"No Harry, he's not. And you didn't give my number because you were never going to get my number."

"Ouch." Ed whispered. Harry stared at me and quickly composed his face.

"Well I didn't want it anyways… you almost shot me like a freaking maniac!"

"You wouldn't be the first, or the last." I smiled at him.

"She's all yours." He smiled to Judson.

"I don't want her." He said looking down at my playfully. "I'm just into the whole chicks with guns thing."

I laughed slightly.

"Well. To each their own." Harry mumbled as he turned back around to mind his own business.

"Hey guys, hey guys, it's coming again." Maggie said showing us the camera dysfunctions.

Judson kept me tucked under one of his armsas the EMF meters began to buzz.

"Oh, god. Oh, OK. Guys. Get in close." Ed panicked.

The lights started to flicker.

"No one let go of anyone! And whatever you do, STAY in the circle!" I told them.

"Oh, god." Harry trembled.

The light continued to flicker, until a death echo appeared in front of us.

"Oh no…" I sighed.

"Oh. Oh, c-Corbett?"

"Oh god, what have we done? Oh god." Harry said shocked.

"Harry I'm so sorry." I said to him.

"I… I don't understand." Ed questioned.

"Corbett's a - he's a death echo. He's reliving his own murder." I answered solemnly.

"Over and over forever." Maggie whispered.

"Unless someone can snap him out of it, yes." I said sadly.

Corbett screamed softly and began choking on blood, then he flickered away. The group was definitely on the verge of losing it. They held each other in an odd circle and Ed sang the 'ghostfacers' theme song to himself over and over again.

"Judson they're taking too long. We should go help." I said feeling myself get ancy.

"Or you can stay here like Dean said."

"Or you could grow a pair and not do EVERYTHING my brother tells you to do."

He rolled his eyes at me.

"Emily. I'm only here to keep you safe! If Dean's gonna allow me to stay he has to trust me to listen when he tells me to do something, otherwise he'll cut this whole deal out and then I can't protect you."

"… Is that really the only reason you're here?" I whispered to him.

He sighed and put his arms around me again, letting his hands rest on my lower back, just above the waistline on my jeans. I reached out and looped my fingers through two of his belt loops in the front of his jeans.

He leaned his face down against mine, I pulled back just enough to touch our lips together again. Letting the feeling of butterflies fill my stomach.

"So are you guys like, a thing?" Harry asked, I pulled away and turned to see Maggie pointing a camera directly at us.

"Either take the camera off of me or I'll shove it up your ass." I told them spinning around quickly.

Maggie quickly put it down and held her hands up slightly in surrender.

Suddenly the EMF meter began to ding again, and Corbett appeared in the center of the room again. My shoulders slumped as I his spirit shake in fear. It was horrible.

Plus being cursed to wear that ugly uniform for the rest of eternity. Yikes.

"Guys, it's - it's Corbett. He's - he's - he's trapped. He's in a lot of pain, you know? We got to try and... we got to try and pull him out of his loop. We have to." Ed said standing and stepping towards the edge of the circle.

"Ed?" Harry said caustiously. "Don't cross the line of salt."

"I gotta do it, Harry. Corbett, listen to me. Okay, I'm not gonna hurt you. Listen. Listen. Oh, god. Corbett. Oh."

Corbett flickered and Ed jumped.

"Get back!" Harry yelled as Ed continued to retreat back into the circle.

"Oh, I can't, okay? He's not hearing me, okay? He won't stop dying."

"I...I know how we can get through to him." Harry mumbled.

"How?" I asked.

"Ed... He had feelings for you."

"Huh?"

"He wanted you."

"Dude. Gross." I sighed.

"Wa- wanted me to what?" Ed asked confused.

"Dude. He WANTED you!" I said flatly. "As in me and him- want." I said gesturing to Judson and myself.

Ed looked at me shocked.

"You can do it, Ed. You've always been the brave one. Yes, you can. You make us brave - Maggie, right?" Harry continued.

"Yeah. Yeah you do. You totally do." Maggie nodded.

"Ed...You got to go be gay for that poor, dead intern. You got to send him into the light." Harry finally came out and said.

Ed hesitated and then nodded, stepping back outside of the circle.

"Hey Ed, if you can get through to him you can get him to help us… ghosts can take on ghosts."

He nodded at me then returned to Corbett.

"Corbett, look. Hey, it's just Ed, buddy. It's just me. Hey, hey, Corbett, listen to me. Listen to me. I - we... Okay. You meant... Corbett, you meant a lot to the team. You meant... You meant a lot to me. You know, never back down...Never say a bad word, okay? I remember that, Corbett. I-I remember that. I remember because I love you, Corbett. I really, truly love you. Do you remember that? do you?"

Corbett slowly stopped shaking then finally met eyes with Ed.

"Hey. Ed?" Corbett whispered.

"Yeah. Yeah, Corbett, it's... Corbett, yeah, it's me. It's me. look at me. You got to help us, man. you have to help us, Corbett. Please. please. Please help us right now!"

Corbett nodded up and down.

"I can sense him."

"Corbett wait!" I said before he flickered away. "Is Sam alive?"

"Yes. But Daggett is close to them, I can find him…"

I nodded back, then Corbett disappeared in a flash of light.

"Where's he going?" Harry asked.

"He's going to save us." I told him confidently.

We sat and waited no more than five minutes before Sam, Dean, and the camera guy came around the corner.

"Sam!" I smiled leaving the circle and running towards him. I jumped and wrapped myself around him, he caught me with a huff.

"Hey Em, I'm okay." He said as I death gripped him.

I let him go and he set me back down on the ground.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Sammy."

"I'll try not to." He laughed.

…

We all stood behind Ed and Harry as they played out their "TV show" on the monitor. We watched in silence for about an hour as the tapes reminded us all of what happened last night. Honestly. The editing skills weren't bad.

But I REALLY wasn't a fan of whatever camera caught Judson and I kissing in the salt circle. I blushed nervously and both my brothers cut their eyes at me. Judson didn't seem as nervous about it all as I did. He almost laughed at my blushing face, but that would have only drawn more attention so I'm thankful he didn't.

"You know, I kind of think it was half-awesome." Dean said as the screen cut to black.

"Half-awesome? That - that's full-on good, right?" Maggie asked.

"Yeah, um, I mean it's bizarre how you all are able to honor Corbett's memory while grossly exploiting the manner of his death. Well done." Sam smiled. I nodded politely.

"Yeah. It's a real tight rope you guys are walking there." I added.

"Nah, that's reality, man. Yeah, Corbett gave his life searching for the truth, and it's our job over here to share it with the world." Ed said.

"Right. Well, um, our experience, you know what you get when you show the world the truth?" Sam asked. They all stared at him blankly.

"A straightjacket. Or a punch in the face. Sometimes both." I told them all.

"Oh come on, guys, don't be 'facer haters just because we happen to have gotten the footage of the century." Harry said.

"You got us there." I shrugged sarcastically.

"Yeah, well we'll see you guys around." Dean said pushing us all out the door.

"We clean?" I asked as we made it to the car, before anyone could answer we heard screams coming from the garage.

"Nooooooo! Are you kidding me?!"

"Electromagnet wiped out every tape and hard drive that they have." Dean smiled.

"The world just isn't ready for the Ghostfacers." Judson chuckled. I climbed into the backseat with him and bumped his knee with mine. He winked at me.

"It's too bad. I kinda liked the show." I mumbled.

"Yeah. It had its moments." Dean said turning in his seat to face us. "Like you macking on my sister."

Judson's smile quickly fell as Dean's did.

"Dean!" I yelled.

"Well, our sister seemed to initiate it all to be fair." Sam added.

"We'll discuss that later." Dean said shooting his eyes at me before pulling out onto the road.

I looked at Judson and smiled slightly. He shook his head at me.

The ride back to the motel was quiet. I ran my hands along Judson's arm, tracing his veins. He snoozed on and off. He was kinda cute when he was sleepy.

Once we pulled into the motel Dean tapped the breaks quickly, making Judson jump forward and wake up suddenly. I laughed. He rolled his eyes at me and got out of the car. Sam and Dean went straight to the room.

"You gonna go pass out for the night?" I asked Judson as I pulled my bag out of the trunk.

"Yeah. I guess so."

"You sure you don't wanna just split a room with us? We can roll in another bed, or take turns on the couch?"

"No I'm good. I like the quiet."

"Are you telling me I'm a loud mouth?" I asked offended.

"Actually yes."

I slapped him on the chest. He laughed.

"Goodnight Em. Hey, try and actually get some sleep tonight okay?"

"No promises." I smiled at him. He pulled me in and kissed my forehead.

"Hey…" I asked him hesitantly.

"What?" He pulled back to look at me.

"I like having you around."

"I like being around."

"And I… uh… I kinda sorta… Like you." I stuttered nervously, moving closer to him.

"I know." He said softly. I don't know if it was just me being paranoid but I could have swore something in his eyes looked frustrated, guilty… I tried to shove it out of my mind. "Goodnight Emily."

"G'night." I said as he walked away.

…

"De. I know its Sam's turn to share but do you mind?" I asked sheepishly as I stood at the foot of his bed in the dark.

"Sure thing kiddo." He said scooting over.

"I tried to sleep over there, but I can't." I whispered as I laid down.

"You've not been sleeping the last few nights have you?"

I shook my head back and forth.

He wrapped me up like when I was little. How he used to rock me to sleep on bad nights.

"Em can I ask you something and you tell me the truth?"

"Anything De."

"Did you and Judson.. ya know.."

I laughed.

"No Dean. We haven't. And I'm not necessarily planning to."

Okay that's kind of a lie… I wouldn't mind getting that hot ass naked.

"Are you guys a thing now?"

"De I don't know what you're so worried about? You knew I liked him for weeks now… and I thought you liked him too."

"I do Em, he's a good kid and he protects you. And for that I can't thank him enough… but. I don't know. I was kinda hoping nothing would really come of it all. I just want you to have someone stable right now, and emotions make things messy."

"Well I'm a teenage girl and emotions are kinda part of the package."

"I know that smartass."

"He's good to me De… If he wasn't you'd be the first to know."

"I hate the thought of him touching you."

"Well you're gonna have to get past that." I laughed.

"Or you two could just not touch each other."

"Dean. I respect you enough that I don't shove it in your face. And I won't do that to you… but you and I both know I was never good at keeping my hands to myself."

"When it came to fighting yeah, but boys? Ughhh… I never in a million years imagined that you would be so boy crazy. I mean you kissed some boy on a play ground when you were seven and I almost ripped his arms off! A seven year old, Em…"

I giggled.

"Well don't rip this one's arms off. I'm kind of a fan of those."

"If you don't shut up I'm going to puke on you." He said as he fake gagged.

"Fine." I laughed.

"Dean… you now we only have one month and 28 days…"

"I know kiddo… I know."

"What are we gonna do De?"

"I wish I knew… we're just gonna keep trying. That's all we can do."

"I won't let them take you De…. I promise."

"YOU. Will not get yourself hurt trying to stop this. If it comes to down to the hounds, they're gonna take me one way or the other. They'll go through you to do so… don't be there."

"Dean you said we were going to do EVERYTHING we could to stop this. And I'm not gonna back down just because teeth and claws enter the picture. We're gonna fight. All of us."

"The last time you faced hell hounds I had to stitch you back together! You could have bled to death… If I'm gonna die then so be it. I'll deal with that. But I will not let my last minutes on his earth be spent watching you die too."

"Dean I can't just watch… that is literally the nightmare I face every single night. I won't."

"Then don't be there… promise me."

"Dean I can't." I cried.

"Yes you can… promise me. If we can't stop this, don't be there. Don't do that to yourself. Don't do that to me Em… just don't."

"…I promise."


	59. Chapter 59

Author's Note: Okay guys, this chapter is a request form ImBookObsessed. I hope I did it justice, and that you guys enjoy it! We'll be getting back on track with the episodes for the next chapter but we're going to skip either "Long Distance Call" or "Time Is On My Side" … I'll let you guys choose, just leave me a review or a message and let me know which one you'd rather see! Love you guys thank you so much for your continued support and love! OH! And can we pleeeeease talk about that season 11 finale?! "Holy. Fucking. Shit." … those were the words straight out of my mouth. Ah! Next season is gonna be interesting for sure! For now I'll try to spend hellatus writing and keeping you guys entertained! Love you all, please review and let me know what you think!

"You know you're being a real asshole tonight." I said as I stomped into the room, Judson slammed the door behind me.

"And your being a whiny little bitch like always."

"Fuck you!"

"You already tried that, I turned you down. Remember?"

"I don't know what the hell crawled up your ass but do me a favor, go to your own damn room and pull it out!"

"God do you ever quit running your mouth?!"

"No. I don't." I smiled.

"Well you should."

"Are you gonna make me?" I said crossing my arms.

He stepped forward and shoved me against the wall, holding my face in place by my cheeks roughly.

"I just might." He growled.

I reared back and slapped him, he laughed and then returned a slap of his own. It was hard enough to knock me to the ground. I held my cheek in shock as I turned and looked up to him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I whispered feeling as if the air had been pulled from my lungs."

"I'm so fucking sick and tired of all your bullshit!" He yelled towering over me. "Every day it's the same ole woe is me, clingy, horny teenage bullshit. Are you every going to grow up?! Do you realize the world doesn't actually revolve around you?"

"…This isn't you." I said shaking my head. He yanked me up and pushed me against the wall again.

"What? Don't want me anymore?" He teased as he pushed his pelvis against mine.

"Get off of me!" I said shoving him, but he grabbed me by the wrists and pinned them behind me. I reared back and spit in his face. He closed his eyes, and when they opened again there was nothing but hate in them. He released my wrists and grabbed me by the hair, dragging me to the bed.

"No! Please… Judson! I know you're in there somewhere!" I begged as he dragged me across the floor.

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Don't do this Judson please!"

 **48 hours earlier**

I laid there and tossed and turned in the bed… I just. Couldn't sleep. Not in Sam's bed. Not in Dean's bed… I just. Couldn't sleep. So I got up…

I wrote the boys a note that I was stepping next door… then I quietly tip toed my bare feet outside and stopped at the door to the left of ours, knocking on it lightly a few times. I waited in the dark, shivering with my feet on the cold concrete.

Finally I heard the locks click and the door opened.

"Em what are you doing out here? Its one in the morning?" Judson said barely awake.

"I can't sleep." I whispered sheepishly, chewing on my thumb.

He sighed and opened the door further, letting me step in.

"Where are your shoes?"

"Back in the motel room."

"Emily its freezing out there, what if I didn't answer?"

"You answered didn't you?" I said raising an eyebrow. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Sam and Dean are gonna be pissed if they wake up and you're here."

"I left them a note saying I stepped out for a run, and that I was gonna wake you up to go with me."

"Oh please don't make me run." He groaned as he lay back on the bed.

"Judson… I left my shoes. Do you really think I planned on going for a run?"

He slowly lifted his head and smiled at me. I giggled and walked over to his bed. Climbing in next to him. He pulled the covers up over us and we laid facing each other.

"Think you'll be able to sleep in here?" Judson asked me softly as he pushed a stray hair behind my ear.

"I don't know… but if I can't I'd much rather be in here than in there listening to my brothers snoring."

"Fair enough." He smiled. "What's got you wide awake?"

"I don't wanna watch him die again." I whispered.

"Emily we talked about this hun, you can't deprive yourself of sleep. It'll make things worse."

"I know, I just… not tonight, okay? Just not tonight."

"Okay. What do you wanna do?"

"Anything." I said tossing him a wink. He rolled his eyes at me playfully.

"You're such a horny teenager."

"Yeah well you're a horny…. Not. Teenager." I mumbled awkwardly. "How old are you anyways?!"

"You've never asked me that before. Does it matter now?"

"Well now I'm curious."

"I'm 21, happy now?"

"Well, I do have a thing for older men."

"Shut up." He joked as he pulled me closer to him. He put his leg over mine and I pushed myself as close to him as I could, our noses practically touching. I traced my hand over his hip, back and forth, on the edge of his shorts. His eyes were closed but I knew he was awake, and I could tell he was enjoying it.

"Emily." He whispered.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?"

Instead of answering him I let my finger trail and dip a little further, tracing it down across his stomach before going back up to his hip. His hand went under my shirt and rubbed up and down my back, sending tingles from the top of my spine to the soles of my feet.

I tipped my chin forward, just enough to let our lips slide against each other, it was him that pulled against my bottom lip with his teeth. I took this opportunity to make my move and pull myself on top of him, laying him flat on his back. He deepened the kiss, but then he pulled back.

"Em we can't do this."

Rejection stung me. I sat up, straddling him and leaning my back against his raised knees. I fiddled with the hem line of his shirt, not able to stand looking him in the eye at the moment.

"It doesn't mean what you think it means, Em. Don't avoid me like that."

"Well then what does it mean?" I said still not able to look him in the eye, he sighed and then pulled at my hands, holding them still so that he could flip us, leaving me laying on my back and him hovering over me.

"It means that I don't want to hurt you… and this is a one way ticket to trouble."

Don't want to hurt me? Meaning what… that you're not into me like I'm into you but you just didn't want to tell me that and hurt me? Meaning you just led me on, let me believe there was a chance… well. I'm so glad you didn't hurt me.

"Yeah, sure." I smiled half-ass and went back to playing with his shirt. Pulling my eyes away from his as quickly as possible.

"Don't shut down on me Emily… not now."

"I'm not." I shrugged nonchalantly. Okay… maybe that was a little too obvious.

"Then stop avoiding eye contact with me."

I sighed and finally met eyes with him.

"Happy now?"

"No… because you look like I just stomped on your feelings, and that's not what this was."

I sighed and rolled my eyes, turning over and laying on my side.

"Maybe we should try and get some sleep." I mumbled.

"See. THAT… right there. That is you shutting down instead of talking to me. Dammit Emily… every time I think I've finally got you to open up to me you pull this. Why? Why can't you tell me exactly how you feel right now?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Because you don't want to or because you don't want to be vulnerable with me? Did you ever think that maybe you and Luke were so into each other not because of the sex but because you were open to him? Because you didn't hold back when you were with him?"

I avoided answering him. So he pulled me to lay flat on my back again. Forcing me to look up at him.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because it drives me crazy not knowing what's going on in that pretty little head of yours." He said as he ran his fingers through my hair. I rolled my eyes at him. I felt extremely uncomfortable, and a little embarrassed… but I knew he wasn't going to let this one go.

"If you didn't like me the way that I like you… then why am I in your bed right now. Why not cock block me way before it got to this."

He shook his head and laughed. I immediately felt way more embarrassed then I did before spitting the words out of my mouth. I quickly pulled away from under him and went to leave but he jumped up and caught my hand.

"Em stop, wait…"

"So you can laugh at me some more? I'm embarrassed enough thanks. I think I'll just go back to not sleeping next door."

"Emily… if you thought for a second I didn't like you, then you're blind."

I stopped and turned back around to face him.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I sighed.

"It means I care about you… so much tha-"

"Care about me like a brother? I have two of those, but thanks anyways."

"Stop interrupting and listen to me!" He said grabbing me around my waist and pulling me onto the bed with him. "It means. I care about you. I DO like you… I like all of this just as much as you do. But things in your life right now are ten different kinds of fucked up, I want to help you Em. I wanna be the person that's there for you… but you have to let me be that person. Which also means letting me be the voice of reason sometimes. This… It's not that I don't want to do it, I'm not turning you down. I'm not saying I don't find you attractive or that I don't like the way it feels when you touch me. I'm saying it's not the right time."

I nodded my head slowly. Letting his words sink in… trying to process them in my head.

"Are you still embarrassed?" He asked me.

"No." I mumbled. "I just wanna lay down."

He held me and laid us both back down, kissing me softly as our bodies melted onto each other. I tried to tell myself that I wasn't rejected, but it still stung somewhere deep, where reasoning didn't matter.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear.

"For what?"

"For making you feel embarrassed."

"Its fine."

He leaned his head down and pressed his lips against mine. I reached up and tangled my hand into his hair, holding him steady as my tongue danced with his. This time it was me who pulled back, knowing if I didn't do it now I wouldn't be able to soon.

"You sure you're okay with us taking this case, Em?"

"We can't avoid cases just because witches are involved." I shrugged.

"I know, but you've got a lot going on and we don't need a repeat of last time either."

"You know it'd be really nice if you could just forget about that whole hallucinations thing, cause I'm trying really hard to do so and I can't when you bring it up."

"…What did she do to you?"

"Why do you ask me things like that?"

"Because I want to understand, and I know somehow it ties into your panic attacks and the whole dead bodies thing."

"It doesn't just tie into it all… it started it all."

"Do your brothers know?"

"Yeah, it was basically the start of this whole Dean and I against the world thing… what he did for me in the weeks that followed. I can't. I can't even imagine what would have happened to me if I didn't have Dean there. I wouldn't let him or Dad touch me for days, but he was really patient with me, he did everything I couldn't even ask him to do. I couldn't speak… it took a lot for me to bounce back, and I owe all of that to Dean."

"What about Sam?"

"Sam wasn't there… I only told him right after Dean made the deal. And I probably wouldn't have but Dean insisted on it."

"Why not?"

"I was too afraid to talk about it…"

"Is that why you won't tell me now?"

I nodded my head. Judson pulled me in a little tighter and laid his cheek against mine.

"You don't have to tell me, sweetheart."

"Thank you."

I snuggled against him and closed my eyes, hoping the nightmares wouldn't find me here.

….

(Dean's POV)

"Dude, where the hell is Em?"

I turned to Sam who was sitting at the table sipping coffee and he lifted a piece of paper in the air, I climbed out of bed and grabbed it from him, it was a note from Emily saying she went on a run with Judson.

"Well. How long has she been gone?"

"Don't know. She was gone when I got up." Sam shrugged.

"Great. They're probably running around screwing in the woods somewhere."

"Dean. Could you not please." Sam said getting a disgusted look on his face.

"I'm gonna get dressed and go look for them."

"Dude. You are totally overreacting."

I began to dig through our bags for some clean socks, when I reached the bottom I pulled out a pair of black tennis shoes. Size 8.

"Dammit Sam!"

"What?"

I turned to him and lifted the shoes up in the air.

"I thought you were supposed to be the smart one around here?" I rubbed in his face.

"So where the hell are they?"

"Give you one guess." I said as I marched out the door, Sam on my heels and picked the lock on the door to the left of us. I threw it open prepared to rip some lungs out.

"Emi-"

I stopped when I found Emily sleeping peacefully in a bed… by herself.

"Dude. Its called knocking." Judson said as he stood from the chair in the corner of the room.

"What the hell is going on in here?" I demanded. Taking a double look to make sure they were both fully clothed.

"She was afraid of having another nightmare and didn't want to sleep, she came over to talk for a while, she fell asleep and I slept in the chair, did you really think we'd be screwing with you next door?"

"You better not be screwing anywhere!"

Judson rolled his eyes and Sam patted me on the shoulder.

"Dean c'mon. Let her sleep in. Its good for her."

"Don't get naked in this room while she's in here." I said pointing a finger at Judson.

"You know you used to like me." Judson smirked, Sam chuckle behind me.

"That was before she started to like you." I said turning and walking out the door.

"Dean you know he's right. You were pro Judson up until a couple weeks ago. I mean nothing's really changed so what's your deal?" Sam asked me.

"Nothings changed? You haven't noticed those two? Trust me. Things have changed between them."

"I think you're overreacting Dean."

"And I think you're blind, Sammy."

"Okay so even if things have changed with them maybe it's a good thing, maybe this is what she needs right now, something to distract her from all the shit going on. Something to keep her mind preoccupied."

"Sam you don't understand. What if things go bad? Then she has to get her heart broken AND deal with my shit? Dude, I'm not sure how much more she can take but I know that this… This is not good!"

"Whatever Dean." Sam said rolling his eyes and going back to our room.

Maybe he's right… but then again maybe I'm right.

…..

(Emily's POV)

"Emily, you and I will take the front, Sam and Judson go around the back. She's in the basement and there's only one door to get out, so once we get down there someone needs to stand there and be guard in case she tries to make a run for it."

"I'll do it." Judson stepped up.

"Alright, everyone locked and loaded?" Dean asked.

We nodded.

"Em, you sure you're good with this?"

"I'm good De, promise." I smiled encouragingly. Dean reached up and held my face, kissing the top of my head. Then we split and made our move.

Dean and I made our way to the front door, which was conveniently unlocked by the way, and then made our first pass through the entry way and living room, Sam and Judson met us in the kitchen after clearing the back room.

"De. This way." I whispered as I spotted a door in the kitchen that had a spot for a padlock.

"I'll stay up here, you three go kick some ass." Judson said before we slowly pushed the door open. Dean went first, then me and Sam following. Judson quickly shut the door behind us, locking us downstairs with the witch.

Candle light flickered as we made our way down the steps, it led to an open area, one filled with candles, old books, jars of God knows what and a large wood burning stove in the center.

But no witch…

"Where the hell is?" I said turning to Sam.

"I don't know, she was down here before we entered the house. We watched her go through the door and we came in right afterwards."

"She's still here. Stay sharp." Dean warned as he motioned for us to fan out and find her. There are lots of boxes and old dusty furniture down here.

"Yikes. Someone should call a maid." I said as I ran my hand along an old dresser with a thick layer of dust on the top. I turned to look at Sam but met purplish-gray eyes.

"DEAN!" I yelled.

The moment I spoke up the witch shoved the dresser on top of me and tried to make a break for it, from the floor I pushed the dresser off to the side and stood, limping on my probably sprained and definitely bruised ankle.

Sam and Dean were both struggling to keep a grip on the witch as she moved from place to place in the blink of an eye.

"Sam! Grab her!" Dean yelled as he was thrown to the ground, the witch ran in Sam's direction, but somehow one moment she was behind him and the next in front of him. Sam jumped and tried to run for her but she already started to race up the stairs.

"Judson! Look out!" I yelled as I limped towards Sam, Dean running past us to chase her up the steps.

There were gun shots and the sounds of wood breaking. Then silence.

"Oh no… Judson!"

Once I pulled Sam up he helped me up the stairs where I found Dean standing over a dead witch and an unconscious Judson laying on the floor next to her.

"Is he okay?!"

I got down on the floor and placed Judson's head in my lap. Making sure he still had a pulse.

"Yeah she just knocked him out cold, he'll wake up in a few minutes." Dean said out of breath, He and Sam leaned against the wall as I lightly tapped Judson's cheeks.

"Hey… hey wake up. C'mon wake up."

Slowly his eyes began to twitch and then he was pulling away from me.

"Get off me." He groaned. I finally quit tapping his face and pulled myself up off the floor as he sat up. "What the hell just happened?"

"Well, this old broad took down you AND the door so I killed her." Dean smiled.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. He just shot me an irritated look and didn't answer,then he stood and made his way back towards the impala.

Fine… asshole.

"Em, how bad is your ankle?" Sam asked.

"It's swelling. Probably a sprain."

"Let's go get some ice on that thing." He said as he helped me to the impala.

"Yeah yeah, sure. I'll take care of the body! Thanks for your help." Dean called out to us sarcastically. Sam and I chuckled.

"We'll get the car warmed up De." I smiled back to him. He just waved us off.

"Alright Em, lets check this thing out." Sam said as he sat me in the backseat sideways, rolling up my pants leg. I turned and looked at Judson behind me, he had his eyes closed, his head tipped back, and his hand against his forehead.

"You sure you're okay?" I asked him grabbing his hand discreetly. He quickly yanked it away…

Ouch. What the hell did I do?

"Definitely a sprain kiddo. We'll ice it tonight and see how the swelling looks in the morning. Hopefully you didn't tear anything. Can you put weight on it?"

"Yeah, just hurts a little when I do."

"Okay, well that's a good sign."

"Thanks Sammy." I said as I turned in the car to sit the right way, trying not to make it obvious as I threw sideways glances at Judson… who still had his eyes closed.

Dean took his sweet time getting back to the car and when he did he slammed on the gas and got us the hell out of dodge. The whole ride back was awkward… like this unspoken tension filled the air in the backseat. Dean and Sam carried on conversation and didn't even notice, but I couldn't ignore it if I tried to.

Thankfully we finally made it back to the motel and Judson was the first one out of the car, but we weren't far behind.

"You guys have a good night." Judson said with a brief smile as he waved, then he quickly entered his room and shut the door, you could loudly hear him click the locks.

"What the hell was that all about?" Dean asked looking between me and Judson's door.

"I don't know. Lets just go inside." I said feel even more confused.

Sam threw his arm over my shoulder to help me limp inside.

"You guys have a fight or something?" He whispered to me.

"I didn't think so?"

"Maybe tomorrow will be better."

"Yeah. Maybe." I sighed as we got in and I got settled on the bed, Sam got me an ice pack and wrapped it around my ankle. Then he tossed me the remote and flopped onto the bed next to me.

We scanned channels until we came across some documentary on the history channel. Sam was totally into it, but I was more into my phone.

Emily: Hey, did I do something to piss you off?

Judson: No. Can you come over?

Emily: Yeah, give me a min.

Judson: If you don't want to then just say no.

What the fuck?

"Sam. I'm stepping next door… let Dean know when he gets out of the shower please."

"Okay, but don't be long. Or he'll come barging in. You know him."

"Yeah I do." I smiled. Sam chuckled and went back to his documentary. I took my ice pack and limped out the door and to the left. I knocked. No answer. I knocked a little harder.

"Judson come on… open up."

The door opened and Judson walked away from it, leaving me to come in and close it.

"I told you that you didn't have to come over if you didn't want to."

I was taken back by his attitude.

"I want to… I was kinda worried about you to be honest."

"Here, come sit down." He said as he patted the bed next to him. Seeming more like the concerned Judson I usually see. I went to sit beside him, he motioned for me to place my ankle up and took the ice pack from my hand.

"Does this hurt?" He asked as he slowly rolled it in a circle. Watching me carefully as my face flinched a little.

"Not bad. I'll live." I smiled.

"What was up with the cold shoulder back at the witches place, did I do something?"

"No Em. I'm sorry… I just. Have a headache. And it's making me cranky as hell."

"You probably have a concussion. You were out cold back there." I said as I reached up and ran my fingers through his dark hair.

"Yeah. Something." He sighed and laid his head against my hand.

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay? Can I get you something"

"No hun I'll be fine, I'm gonna get some sleep. I'll see you tomorrow."

He stood and reached out his hand, pulling me to stand carefully. He handed me the ice pack, and I took it slowly, leaving my hand resting with his for as long as possible.

"Get some sleep Em, you need it too. Nightmares or not."

"Okay. You call if you need anything." I reached up and kissed his cheek, he pulled me into a hug.

Something was different.

Something was off.

Something isn't right with him… but I can't put my finger on it. I held onto him for as long as I could, but when he pulled away I didn't resist. Instead I smiled briefly and left the room.

"Well that was fast." Sam said as I walked back into our own room.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"What's wrong kiddo?" Dean asked coming to sit across from me on the bed.

"Nothing, I'm just sleepy." I mumbled scooting towards him. I laid my head down on his lap, he began to pull his fingers through my hair like he used to when I was little

"You sure… you and him good?"

"Yeah we're good. I think he's just cranky cause he wacked his head. I'm just not used to him being like that."

"Well everyone has bad days kiddo. Lets go to bed, it'll be better tomorrow."

"That's what everyone keeps saying." I mumbled as Dean and I laid down.

I wrapped both of my arms around one of Deans… trying to find peace of mind to sleep. But not really sure if that even exists anymore.

….

"Seriously? We have to go back?" I said sitting across the table from Sam.

"Yeah, whenever we killed her it didn't fix the victims. There's gotta be something in her spell book that can help them."

"Sam we just killed her, give it a day or so."

"Emily these people are suffering, we can't just leave town and hope it fixes itself."

"Fine. So what do we need to do?"

"Get back into the house." Dean sighed.

"Oh, the house swarmed by police this morning? That'll be easy." I snapped.

"Emily, chill out. Okay, Sam and I will go and get into the house… you and Judson need to see if you can find a link between the vics, it may help us narrow down what kind of spell was used."

"Okay. I'll go next door and wake him up."

"He's still sleeping? Isn't he usually the first one up out of all of us."

"Yeah, you guys take off before the news channels start showing up."

"We'll meet you back here in a few hours."

I dressed and pulled up my hair in a messy bun. Sam insisted I wrap my ankle before going anywhere so I did, then I tucked my jeans over it and walked next door. Knocking on the door.

"Hey." He said as he swung the door open, letting me come in.

"Oh, you're up… I thought maybe you were still asleep."

"Why?" He asked irritably.

"Well I texted to check on you this morning but you didn't reply."

"Maybe I just didn't want to reply."

Um…. Okay? Lets pretend that wasn't rude.

"So… Sam and Dean took off to the house, something about finding a spell book. They want us to try and find a link between the vics."

"They're all in the same book club."

"What?"

"I said… they're all in the same book club. That's how they all knew each other."

"When did you find that out?"

"Days ago when we first found the case."

"And you didn't feel like sharing that with the group?"

"Do you really think that you have a right to bitch at me of not sharing information? I mean you of all people?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked crossing my arms.

"You're by far the most closed off person I've ever met. But you can ride my ass about not sharing things?"

I just kinda stood there shell shocked. Where the hell is this coming from?

"I'm sorry… are you still not feeling well from last night or something?"

"I feel fine. I'm just making a point."

"Fine. Point taken." I said making my way back to the door.

"Wait… I'm sorry." Judson called after me. "Wanna go get some food?"

"Sure." I said softly. Still not sure what was with the backlash today.

"Are you okay to walk? The diner is just up the road."

"Yes. Its fine, Sam made me wrap it this morning."

"Good. How'd you sleep last night?"

"Same as always" I sighed as we stepped out the door.

"More nightmares?"

"The same nightmares. You know… I'm kinda getting used to them."

Okay that was a lie.

"You're lying."

"Maybe."

"You hungry?" He asked me as we walked down the road.

"Starving, kinda in the mood for waffles."

"I don't understand your ability to eat breakfast foods for every single meal. It's almost noon, this place will have the entire menu open and you still stick to breakfast. Do you ever get tired of it?"

I laughed.

"I guess it's because breakfast food is the best food these diners make. And that's pretty much all we ever eat at is diner food so I just try and stick to what's good. Other than burgers, they usually have good burgers."

"Fair enough."

"If you had to pick one thing to eat every day what would you pick?"

"I don't know. I get sick of things after a while. I have to mix it up."

"C'mon there's gotta be one thing you'd pick."

"I don't know Emily, I just told you." He snapped.

"Geez… sorry." I said quickly. "I don't care what you eat if it gets you out of this cranky ass mood."

"Said the queen of bitchy moods."

What the fuck?! Where did that come from?

"Did I do something to you?!" I asked stepping in front of him. "Something I missed? Cause you've been an ass to me ever since you came to last night!"

"No. I just. Wish you would back off for like 5 minutes."

"You got it." I scoffed and walked off back towards the motel. I was kind of surprise when he didn't try and stop me. He just kept walking in the opposite direction as me.

I got out of his eyesight before I stopped… my ankle was beginning to throb. I pulled out my phone as I sat on the edge of the road.

"Hey De."

"Hey kiddo what's up?"

"Can you come get me? Please."

"Where are you?"

"Bout a half a mile or so from the motel."

"Okay, we're heading there now. Is it you and Judson?"

"No… just me."

"What did he ditch you there or something?"

I didn't really know how to answer the question seeing as how I wasn't really sure what just happened. I just knew I wanted to be back with my brothers.

"No. Just hurry Dean, please."

"Two minutes kiddo, promise."

I hung up the phone and sighed.

I keep playing over and over in my head our conversations form yesterday. From the night before… I don't understand what changed? Is he on his damn man period?

Did I do something?

I stood as I heard my favorite sound in the world off in the distance… nothing will ever mean home to me the way this car does. Dean pulled the impala right up next to me and Sam stepped out, I slid in the front seat and settled between my brothers.

"What's going on Em?" Sam asked.

"Nothing. I just. I wanted to go with you two." I said as I curled up next to Dean. I briefly caught it as he and Sam shared a concerned look.

"Stop doing that. I'm fine. I just… I want to be with you right now."

"Okay kiddo. You got it." Dean said as he started driving us forward.

"So did you guys get the book?"

Sam lifted an old worn leather book in the air slightly.

"Did you guys find the link?" Sam asked.

"Yeah uh, book club… all the wives were in book club together."

"So how did book club piss off the witch?"

"Maybe they didn't let her join or something… you know how bitchy women can be." I mumbled. Still feeling a little offended.

"Maybe they were dibbling in the arts themselves… like the last book club." Dean suggested.

"Doubt it." Sam cut in. "They were the ones put under the spell… they viciously attacked people against their own will. I mean if they were into the dark arts why would they do that to each other? Why not find the antidote themselves? It's not like they were possessed. They were just extremely angry. I've never seen a spell do something like that."

"So what do we do then?"

"Go back and see if we can find the spell, see if there's a way to undo it."

"I feel a fun filled afternoon of research coming." I smiled sarcastically.

…

We spent the next few hours digging around at the library, where Judson ended up meeting us. I've successfully avoided him up to this point, but there's no Sam or Dean in sight and he is currently walking towards me.

"This seat taken?"

I didn't answer.

"Emily… don't blow me off. You know its get on my fucking nerves."

"Oh I'm sorry… I was just trying to back off some. I don't want to ask you too many questions."

He sighed and sat down next to me.

"Sometimes you're so stubborn its honestly unbelievable."

"And sometimes you're such an ass its unbearable."

"Are you done bitching at me yet?"

"Are you done being an ass to me."

"I really don't think I'm the one being the problem here." He said raising his voice a little.

"Keep your voice down!" I whisper yelled.

"OR WHAT?" He said loudly, staring at me expectantly… asking me to fight back.

I stood up and shook my head at him before walking away to find Dean or Sam. Whichever I ran into first would do. Luckily it was Dean. I plopped down next to him at the computers and let out a huff.

"… Okay?"

"Why does having a dick mean you need to act like one?"

"Excuse me?!"

"Not you Dean!...Well sometimes you." He shot me the bitchfce. "I mean do men get their period to and I just missed that section in biology class?"

"Sorry kiddo… Sam and I agreed to stay out of it. Whatever yall are fighting about is between the two of you."

"…Dean. Am I just being sensitive here or what? I mean did I do something to deserve this and I'm just not seeing it?"

"I don't know Em… I don't know what's been going on with you two. I'm not with you 24/7. I wasn't with you in his room the other night. Did something happen?"

Well you see I tried to have sex with him and he turned me down.

"Nope."

"I don't know kiddo. All I can say is sometimes, and its not your fault, its just because you're a woman. And all women do it… trust me. But sometimes you take things personally when they aren't meant to be personal."

I sat and thought about Dean's words… trying to figure out if this really was just me being sensitive… or if he's really just being a dick.

"Hey." Sam said walking over and pulling me out of my thoughts. "They're closing up for the night, wanna go grab some food?"

"Oh I'm down." Dean said excitedly as he hopped up. I dragged my feet and followed behind them, Judson was already waiting for us at the front door.

We climbed in the backseat and I accidentally rubbed my knee against his, I quickly pulled it back. I was surprised when his hand reached out and rubbed across the top of my knee. I looked up at him, and even though he wasn't looking back at me I could tell he was trying to be nice.

Once at the diner he held the door for me, I mumbled a thank you but that was the extent of our conversation up to this point.

I scanned over the menu a few times… trying to settle on some food.

"You guys ready or do you need another minute?" She asked cheerily.

"Uh just another minute please." I smiled, she nodded and walked away.

"You only ever get one of three things… breakfast. Chicken strips. Or a burger… its not that difficult. Just pick one." Judson snapped.

I looked at Dean and Sam who were actively staying out of this, and then back at Judson.

"I'm sorry. If you can't stand to wait another three minutes then feel free to chase her down and order your food. I won't be offended if you get yours first."

He sat back and rolled his eyes. Tapping his hand on the table irritably.

"That's getting really annoying." I mumbled.

"You're getting really annoying."

"Oh my god… you know what. Forget it. I'm not even hungry. Just order your fucking food so we can eat and leave."

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"No! I'm not… my appetite magically decided to fuck off."

Which is kinda what I wanna tell you to do at the moment.

"You're unbelievable… " He scoffed.

"And you're a dick."

"Okay! You know what… why don't you two take the car back to the motel. Sam and I are actually going to eat and we'll just walk back. Its not far." Dean smiled setting the keys down on the table.

I huffed and reached for them, but Judson did too at the same time. We struggled over them for a minute before he won.

"Don't wreck it." I snapped as we got up from the table and began to walk out. Once at the car Judson unlocked his side and started the engine. I tapped the window motioning for him to unlock my side. But instead he put it in drive and lurched the car forward, then stopped it just as quickly.

"Really funny asshole!" I said banging on the window. He finally reached over and unlocked it.

"Shoulda let you walk back."

"Its MY brother's car. If anyone's walking it would be you."

"Yet he handed the keys to me, meaning he doesn't trust your driving. Which if its anything like your level of common sense I can't blame him."

I sent him a shocked and offended stare, he ignored it and continued driving down the road.

"You are something else…" I mumbled under my breath.

 **PRESENT TIME**

"Don't do this Judson! Please!" I begged.

"I'm so sick and tired of your mouth." He said as he threw me on the bed. I crawled up towards the headboard and pulled my knees in against me in defense. He dug in his bag and came back with a roll of ductape.

"Judson stop, this isn't you! Okay.. it-its gotta be the witch! She must have hexed you! Just like the other victims!"

"SHUT UP!" he yelled as he grabbed my injured ankle and dragged me towards him, placing the ductape across my mouth. I fought against him, but his strength beat mine easily. He reached back and slapped me again.

"HEY!" I jumped as another voice entered the room. Dean! I attempted to call out to him but the ductape muffled everything I said, only causing me to cry in frustration. Dean and Sam entered the room carefully, shutting and locking the door behind him.

"Get your hands off of her." Dean said as he stepped forward. Sam stepped towards me but when he did Judson grabbed me up by my arm and pulled me off the bed, holding me against his chest.

"Don't take another step." Judson warned.

"Judson this isn't you… okay. I know what's going on here. This isn't your fault." Sam said calmly. "Just let her go, and we can help you… we found the spell, okay? We can reverse it."

"Nah, I like it better this way. I like the anger… the power."

"Let her go man, last warning." Dean growled.

"Who's gonna protect her when you're dead huh? We all know it's coming. Even her… that's why she keeps having the nightmares, because deep down she KNOWS its coming. You're gonna burn-"

Dean lunged forward and I pulled away and ducked for the floor, Sam quickly pulled me away and I watched as Judson and Dean struggled for a while before Dean finally knocked him out cold.

"Em let's get this off okay?" Sam said as he pulled the tape off my face.

"Emily are you okay?" Dean asked crouching in front of us.

"I'm fine. Really… is. Is he okay?"

"Well he'll be sleeping that one off for a while, but we did figure out the spell. So we can reverse it." Dean sighed. "It wasn't but maybe a minute after you left that we realized what was going on… I was worried we'd be too late."

"Well you weren't." I smiled sadly staring at an unconscious Judson in the floor.

"C'mon Em, lets get up." Sam said as he stood and pulled me with him.

"Let me see your face." Dean demanded.

"I said its fine Dean."

"No. its not. Its red and swelling more by the minute. Got put some ice on it."

"Okay… hey Dean."

"Yeah Em?"

"Do… do you think he meant it? All those things he said?"

"I don't know kiddo… but I do know anger makes people do strange things. Things they don't always mean."

"I'm gonna take a shower while you and Sam get him straightened out okay?"

"Yeah, good idea Em. Put some ice on that when you get out."

"Sir yes sir." I smiled weakly.

I paused as I walked past Judson who laid on the bed still unconscious.

Everything in me tried to find reason… he didn't mean it.

It was just the spell.

It was just the anger.

It just… wasn't him.

But the truth is I don't really know.

….

(Dean's POV)

"Hey. Em asleep?" Sam said as he stepped back into the room.

"Yeah." I said looking over towards the bed. "She's been out for a few hours now. How's the kid?"

"He hasn't said much since I reversed the spell… just painted some guilty look on his face."

"Well can you blame him?"

"No. I can't… and neither should you Dean."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I know how much you want to protect her, man I do… I'm right there with you. But I know more than anybody how horrible it is to hurt someone you care about against your will."

"He'll get over it." I said tipping back my beer.

"I think you should talk to him… if I had to guess I'd say he's next door beating himself up pretty hard right about now."

"Eh, maybe later."

"Dean." Sam said shooting me a knowing look. I rolled my eyes.

"Fine. Fine… I'll got talk to him." I sighed standing and finishing off my beer.

"Dean… don't chase him off."

"Yeah yeah yeah." I groaned walking out and stepping next door. I knocked twice, when the door opened I couldn't tell if the kid seemed disappointed or scared. Either way. Its fitting.

"Look man, if you're gonna punch me again can you do me a favor and get the other side. I just got the swelling down on this one." He said as he lifted an ice pack and opened the door for me to come in.

"Yeah, I know what you mean… Emily fell asleep with one of those pressed against her face."

I watched guilt punch him in the gut.

"Are you here to tell me to leave?" He asked. Gotta respect a man who gets straight to the point.

"No. I'm not."

"Are you here to beat me up again? Not that I'd stop you bu-"

"Why are _you_ here?" I asked cutting him off.

"Because I can help her… because I care about her."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I mean why do you care kid… what is it that keeps you following her around mile after mile. Putting up with our shit."

"She's different… she's special ya know." He said looking off out the window.

"Yeah. I know. I know her better than anyone in the world. She's something." I chuckled. "You know she's really going to need someone. In a few months."

"Man I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that."

"Its okay. Even if you did I don't blame you… I'm a pretty hopeless case. Em though, she never gives up. She will fight till she physically can't stand on her own two feet, and even then she keeps going."

"Yeah I noticed."

"I'm gonna be upfront with you here and I expect you to do the same… you and I both know she cares for you. In more ways than one. Emily isn't like other girls. There is no half-assing it. She's all or nothing when it comes to her heart… When she gets attached to something she's not letting it go without a fight. So I'm asking you right here right now… if you don't plan on sticking around. Then leave. I'll give you the cash, I'll give you a ride. I'll give you whatever the hell you need. But if you can't invest into her the way she is going to invest into you then this is your chance to leave. No guilt. No hard feelings from Sam and I… this is your chance to get out before things get shitty. Because they're going to."

He sat and stared at me for a moment before looking down at the floor.

"I'm not going anywhere unless she tells me to… which she may do when she wakes up tomorrow. But. Until then, I'm here."

"You know… if things end ugly for me. Sam and her are gonna be pretty messy. Bobby will pick up the pieces as much as he can, but Em's gonna be a tough one. It'd be nice to know she'd have someone there for her."

"I won't leave her. I promise."

"I really don't think you understand what you're getting yourself into with this, you should take the night to think about it. I mean when our Dad died, Emily became a shell of herself… she did some pretty drastic things to find her way back. It's not pretty to watch."

"My little sister died in front of me…" He said quickly, taking a swig of his drink. I sat shocked, waiting for him to continue. "I couldn't save her. So when I say I know what this is like. When I say I understand how much she means to you. I'm not just saying it. I mean it man. I've been there and I have faced grief and the things that follow it. I've fought back against the darkest parts of myself. My promise stands. I'll take care of her."

"I'm sorry… I can't imagine."

"Yes you can. You did what you had to do to save Sam… I would have done the exact same thing to save Olivia. I would have done anything. Hell, I still would."

"Thanks for that man."

"So how is she?"

"She's sleeping actually… been that way for a couple of hours now. As far as the bumps and bruises she'll heal, and she's had worse."

I watched as guilt rolled around his face again.

"When she wakes up you should be there. She's worried about you."

He laughed.

"I attack her, and yet she's still worried about me."

"I told you man… all or nothing. Her heart knows no bounds."

"I never meant to hurt her."

"I know. And as much as it goes against every instinct in my body, I'm not going to kill you for it." I smiled as I stood.

"I wouldn't be mad if you did."

"I know, we'll see you in the morning kid. Get some sleep, she's okay."

"Yeah. Sure." He nodded. I turned and left the room, pausing outside to let myself get a grip on the conversation.

I'll never get used to the feeling of handing my little girl off to someone else… trust her to someone other than Sam or myself.

For this kid's sake I hope he's ready.

….

(Emily's POV)

"Emily we're leaving in ten minutes whether you're ready or not!" Dean said as he banged on the bathroom door.

I figure the longer I sit in the bathroom the longer I can put off the inevitable… The longer I can convince myself that everything he said was just because of the hex. Not because he actually fells that way. The longer I can put off finding out the truth.

You know people always talk about how the truth frees you… but sometimes it just lets you down.

"Em come on, you can't hide in there forever." Sam said through the crack in the door.

"I can try." I mumbled to myself.

I could hear the lock being picked and I huffed and rolled my eyes.

"Seriously Dean?!" I yelled as the door opened… but it wasn't Dean.

"… Are you just gonna stare at me?" Judson asked as he stepped in and closed the door behind him, leaning against it.

"Maybe." I said going back to brushing some powder onto my face in the mirror.

"Em I'm sorry… you know I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know." I said putting the brush back down.

"If you uh, want me to split for a while I can. See what kind of information I can dig up on Lilith or keep looking for a way to save Dean."

"You want to leave?" I asked finally looking up at him again.

"No. But I will if it's what you want."

"Don't leave me… please."

He pushed off of the door and came to stand in front of me. His hands wrapped around my waist, traveling down my hips to curve around my thighs. He lifted me to sit on the small sink counter and I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips molded against mine and I eagerly pulled at his hair.

We separated for air and he moved his mouth against my ear.

"I'm so sorry Em, I didn't mean any of it."

"I don't wanna talk about it." I said leaning in to kiss him again. He stopped me.

"Emily we have to, we can't just pretend none of that ever happened."

"Why not?"

"Because I know you, and I know you're thinking about it. And that won't stop until we clear the air on this."

I didn't answer him. Instead I wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. He held me back, pulling his fingers through my hair slowly. I just wanted to be here, to hold him… pretend it never happened.

"Emily. We have to." He whispered.

"Can we just do it tomorrow?"

"No. Because you'll just put it off again. Talk to me Em."

"I don't know what to say…"

"Do you think anything I said came from a place of truth?"

"I don't know Judson." I sighed letting him go and leaning back against the mirror. His hands rubbed up and down the top of my legs.

"Em tell me what's in your head right now. Please."

"I feel like… I'm annoying. And that I keep telling you things that you don't wanna hear and that you just keep listening to it all to be nice but you don't really give a shit. I feel stupid, and embarrassed, and like I have put too much of myself out there and I wish I could take some of I back and play it off and be cool but you and I both know I can't take back any of it…" I pulled my arms against my body, holding my shoulders. "I wish I hadn't tried to sleep with you. Because then you wouldn't have had to turn me down. And no matter what you say there's still a part of me that felt rejected. So I wish I could just take all of it back…. I'm sorry."

"Emily none of that is true, and I don't want you to take it back."

"I just really don't want to talk anymore, about anything" I said reaching up and wiping my eye before my mascara could smear.

"Em don't shut me out."

"I'm not Judson, I promise… I just. I don't wanna talk anymore. I just wanna get in the car with you, and Sam, and Dean and just drive. Please. That's all I want to do."

He stared at me inquisitively, as if trying to figure out if I was really shutting down on him or if I really just needed to get the hell out of here.

"Okay, lets go. They're waiting for us in the car."

I jumped down and bagged the last of my things, Judson took the bag from my put the other on my lower back, leading me outside.

"You guys ready to get the hell out of here?" Dean asked as we climbed into the backseat.

"Yep." I smiled briefly. "Where we headed De?"

"Well Sam and I agreed that we should go to Bobby's and pick up some leads on how to save my sorry ass. Take a break from cases for a few weeks. What do ya think?

"I think that's the best idea you've had in a long time."

"Yeah well if we don't find anything it sure as hell wouldn't be from lack of trying."

"We'll find something De, we have to."


	60. Chapter 60

Author's Note: Next chapter is THE FINALE! I'm super excited to write it, but for now here is In My Time of Dying! I hope you guys like it! Please read and review so I know what to keep doing and what to change to keep you guys happy! Love you all! Thank you for supporting Emily's story!

Holy water splashed onto the ground as the demon screamed. Smoke rolled off of his skin and he grunted as he stopped screaming, grinding his teeth together.

"You ready to talk?" Dean asked him as he refilled the bucket.

"I don't know. I don't know anything!"

"Oh, you hear that, Sam? He doesn't know anything." Dean smiled sarcastically to Sam. I stood back in the corner, unamused.

"Yeah, I heard." Sam smirked.

"I'm telling you the truth." The demon yelled out of breath.

"Oh, you are? My god, then I owe you an apology. Allow me to make it up to you." Dean poured holy water down his throat, I closed my eyes and listened to him choking. "I'm gonna ask you one last time...Who holds my contract?!"

It was silent, I turned back to the demon who had his head hanging, he slowly looked up, pitch black eyes glistening and then he slowly dragged a smile onto his face. It was malicious. It was taunting… it was disgusting.

"Your mother. Yeah, she, uh, showed it to me right before I bent her over."

My blood turned to ice as I watched Dean's posture change at the mention of our mother. Theres not a lot of lines in Dean's book. He's a pretty flexible guy… but our Mom. That was THE line. The line that you don't cross under any circumstances, that's the final straw in any conversation.

And this demon just pulled the trigger on the gun.

"I want a name. Or else..." Dean said leaning down to him face to face.

"Or what? You're gonna squirt your holy water in both ends? Please. Brother, that's like a fleabite compared to what's coming to me if I tell you jack. Do what you want. The only thing I'm scared of is the demon holding your ticket."

Dean stood and stared at him, then looked up to Sam. Nodding to him to start the exorcism. As Sam spoke the demon writhed back and forth in pain.

"How does that feel? Does that feel good?" Dean asked him.

"Go ahead. Send me back to hell... 'Cause when you get there, I'll be waiting for you...with a few pals who are dying for a nice little meet and greet with Dean Winchester."

Red hot fire burned deep in my chest… Just the thought of Dean going to hell puts every nerve I have on edge. Before Dean could answer or Sam could continue I lifted my hand and let the feeling flow from my chest to my hands. I watched as the cocky smiling Demon began to feel it… I could literally see his heart beating through his wet shirt. The veins in his face became prominent and his eyes bloodshot within seconds.

"Emily stop!" Dean called, but I ignored him.

I took two steps forward into the light and out of my little corner. I twisted my hand in the slightest and the demon began to scream and beg for it to stop.

"Emily! That's enough!" Dean yelled pushing my hands down. The feeling quickly faded, leaving me with only a bloody nose. Dean grabbed a rag and held it to my face, glaring at me the entire time.

"Sam. Send him someplace he can't hurt anyone else." Then he turned to me. "Upstairs. Now… We'll discuss this in a minute."

I rolled my eyes and began to walk up the stairs, Sam's voice in the background as he finished the exorcism. Once I reached the top of the stairs I walked into the kitchen and raided Bobby's fridge for a drink.

"What happened?"

Judson's voice caused me to spin, I didn't even know he had entered the room. I looked at him confused and he lifted the bloodied rag I had set on the counter.

"Oh… that. Don't ask."

"You did it again didn't you?" He asked me crossing his arms. I sighed and closed the fridge.

"Would it matter if I did?"

"You need to stop using them like this Em. Its not right. Its not who you are."

"We need to find the demon. Period. Point blank. No matter what it takes. A few nose bleeds would be well worth it if it means we end up saving Dean."

"Em this isn't just about nose bleeds! We don't know what else these abilities are doing to you, or what could happen if you let them take over, so why risk it?"

"Dean."

Just as I said his name he came around the corner.

"What the hell Em? I told you not to pull that shit!"

"Dean you weren't getting anything out of him, maybe if you let me help we can actually get somewhere!"

"No. We discussed this already, and I'm not changing my mind! We are NOT putting you in that situation!"

"You had no problem putting me in that situation at the police station." I threw back at him.

"Because it was life or death, and even then you nearly strangled someone."

"This is life or death too Dean!"

"No. That's my final answer…"

"Dean that's not fair!"

"You know what- you need to stay up here with Bobby from now on. If you can't control yourself then you don't need to be down there in the first place."

"Dean you can't do that!"

"I just did."

Dean stormed out of the room and back down to the basement with Sam.

"Ugh!" I yelled frustrated as I threw my water bottle across the room. It smacked into the cabinets and landed on the ground, but not before it narrowly missed Bobby's head.

"Whoa darling. What did the cabinet ever do to you?"

"Sorry Uncle Bobby."

"Why don't you two go pick us up some grub, those idjit brothers of yours will be begging for food by the time they finish burning this one."

"Sure." I sighed. I went to walk outside, but Bobby caught me by the arm.

"Have a little patience darling. Dean's just a little on edge right now."

"I can help them Bobby."

"They're not ready for help yet, but… give it some time. Go grab us some pizzas." He said as he let me go and smiled. Judson followed behind with the keys to his truck.

"You know." He said getting my attention. "I really missed driving this thing."

"I bet you don't miss the gas mileage on it." I grinned.

"True, but there's nothing better than driving this beast down a dirt road."

"Yeah." I sighed pulling over my seatbelt.

"Em do me a favor."

"What?" I asked curiously.

"Smile… just for a minute or two."

"I'm sorry. I know I've not been much fun lately."

"Its okay." He said as he grabbed my hand. I slid over in the seat to sit close to him. He leaned down and kissed me lightly, slowly, gently. I reached up and grabbed him by the hair, pulling him to me. His hand slid down my back to my jeans and I slid down in the seat, pulling him on top of me. He didn't pull back, but instead hovered over me, taunting me by having his body mere centimeters from mine.

He pulled back and I grinned widely.

"There's a smile" He whispered into my ear, kissing me on the cheek and pulling me to sit back up.

"Such a tease." I sighed, he laughed.

He put the truck in drive and began to drive us down the road and into town. I stared out the window, up at the stars that overtook the dark sky, the moon was full and lit up the fields around us as we drove. It was beautiful, peaceful… it made me wonder how bad things can happen in a place so beautiful.

"Judson… do you think they're bad?"

"What?"

"My… abilities? I mean do you think they came from a bad place?"

"I don't know Em, kind of a mystery."

"If they do come from a bad place, do you think that makes me a bad person?"

"No." He answered quickly.

"How are you that sure about it?"

"Because I know you… anyone who knows you would know that you don't have an evil bone in your body. Emily I don't like you using them because it's not you that takes over, it something else. And I don't know enough about that something else to know how to keep you safe. I don't think it's a good idea to play with this stuff. Okay? So listen to Dean. He's just trying to protect you."

"But they respond to me! I can get us somewhere, If I can find this demon then I can save my brother Judson, I know it!"

"What happens when you hunt this demon down and he goes back on the deal and kills Sam, and then drags Dean to hell just for fun?"

"Why would you even say something like that?!"

"Because it's my job to consider all the possible outcomes. And you and I both know cornering this demon could backfire."

I sat in silence and considered his words. They made me sick. Am I willing to risk losing them both? Does that make me a horrible person? Does it put Dean in front of Sam?

My brain swam in circles. Guilt and uneasiness filled my gut.

"Turn around."

"Emily, lets just go grab some food okay?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You still need to eat."

"I need you to stop talking to me."

"So what? You're just gonna be pissed at me for the rest of the night because I was honest with you?"

Instead of responding to him I pulled my knees up in the seat and turned my gaze back out the window. He continued to drive in silence, I watched as the empty fields turned into sparse houses, then into city streets. Judson pulled into the small pizza restaurant and climbed out of the truck. He moved to walk around to my side, but before he could reach it I locked the door. Then his. He proceeded to walk up to my door and try to open it, when he was met with resistance he shot me an annoyed look through the window.

"Seriously? Get out of the truck Em."

I turned to face away from him. He knocked on the window in an attempt to get my attention.

"C'mon Em. Get out here."

I continued to ignore him, then I heard the jingle… dammit. Keys. I'm feeling really smart right about now.

He twisted the lock and pulled open the door.

"Really Em?"

"Just go get a couple of pizzas so we can leave."

"Emily… stop."

"Judson. Fuck off." I said feeling my emotions start to swim at increasing speeds. I didn't want to get angry. I didn't want to flip out on him. I just wanted him to leave me alone!

"Fine." He scoffed, slamming the door shut and walking inside. I sat in the truck and watched as the girl at the front counter smiled at him, perkily bouncing around as she pressed buttons on the cash register. It irritated me even more… I forced myself to look in the other direction till I heard the bell ring as the front door open and he exited, carrying 3 large pizzas. I unlocked his door and pushed it open for him, then I promptly scooted over to my side of the cab and faced the window.

"Still pissed?" Judson asked.

"No."

"Then why won't you look at me?"

"Because I just want to go home."

"Fine. We're going."

He put the truck in drive and it was a long quiet ride back. As soon as we pulled into Bobby's I jumped out of the truck and jogged to the back of the property where I knew my brother's would be burning the body. I stopped when they came into view. The fire on the ground in front of them simmering down, how could I live without these two?

My whole world stood right in front of me, and all I could think about was standing where they stood… watching their bodies burn.

I can't.

I won't.

I began to walk up behind them, my feet on the leaves caught their attention as they both looked back at me.

"Hey Em." Sam said. I walked straight to him and wrapped my arms around him, he put his arm over me and we stood and watched the fire in silence.

"You and Judson grab some food?" Dean asked.

"Yeah. Its inside."

Dean nodded and went to walk in. Sam and I slowly followed behind him, not letting go of each other.

"You okay Em? I know I used to get nasty headaches after the visions."

"I'm fine Sam."

"Coulda fooled me…"

"I'm scared Sam. I'm really scared."

He stopped us and pulled me into a full on hug. All of a sudden I felt like maybe I'd been neglecting him lately… maybe he needed this moment as much as I did.

"Me too sweetheart." He finally said.

"Sammy. If we lose Dean… I'll still have you, right? You won't leave me alone?"

"No Em, of course not. I told you when I first came back on the road that I would never leave you again, and I meant it. You've got me forever… no matter what."

"Unless you die again." I whispered.

Sam didn't have a response, instead he just sighed and pulled us towards the house again. Once inside we sat at the table with everyone else. Judson tossed me some curious stares, I chose to ignore him for now. Chewing on my small slice of pizza quietly as everyone continued their small talk.

"Hey uh, Dean." Sam said getting his attention. "Remember that thing in the paper yesterday?"

"Stripper suffocates dude with thighs?"

"The other thing." Sam said rolling his eyes. I chuckled to myself.

"Right, the guy that walks into the E.R. and kneels over dead. His stomach's ripped out?"

"His liver, actually." I corrected. Dean rolled his eyes at me.

"Anyways, I just found out something pretty damn interesting." Sam said getting him focused again.

"What?"

"The dead body was covered in bloody fingerprints, not the victim's."

"Okay, great. My man Dave Caruso will be stoked to hear it."

"Those fingerprints match a guy who died in 1981."

"Really. So, what are we talking? Uh, walking dead? Walking, killing dead?" Dean asked his eyes starting to light up with a tinge of excitement.

"Maybe."

"Zombies do like the other white meat." Dean said thoughtfully. "Huh. Speaking of, what do you care about zombies?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you and Emily have been on soul-saving detail for months now. And we're three weeks out, and all of a sudden, you're interested in some hot zombie action?"

I dropped my food back on its plate… 3 weeks. Goodbye appetite. As I looked back up I caught eyes with Judson whose eyes reflected pity. I fucking hate it when he looks at me like that.

"Hey, man, you're the one who's been all gung ho to hunt. I just thought I'd be doing you a favor." Sam said nonchalantly… but you could tell there were other motives at play.

"Hey, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't say I didn't want to do it, okay. I mean obviously I want to hunt some zombies." Dean smiled.

"You people are un-fucking-believable." I said standing and shoving the chair back at the table.

"Kiddo come on." Dean said reaching out to grab me.

"No! Dean you come on! You have 3 fucking weeks left! And you want to run off on some bull shit zombie case? Please… remember the professor's daughter? The 'zombie' you let kill Neil! You and I both know this isn't a fucking zombie, it's just another case with some grieving loved one or some voodoo bullshit, a case that SOMEONE ELSE can take."

"Okay, fine, whatever." Dean said before he stormed out the back door. I stood and felt everyone's eyes fall on me.

"Emily, we need to take this one ourselves. Trust me." Sam said standing up and going outside after Dean.

"Sorry about dinner Bobby, I'm going to bed."

"Darling maybe we should talk about this." Bobby said softly. I looked between him and Judson. I shook my head back and forth and quickly backed out of the room, walking up the stairs and locking the door behind me as I entered the purple room I've always claimed as my own. I walked over to the window and opened it, climbing out to sit on the roof.

I remember sitting on this roof almost a year ago. Minus about 3 weeks. Right after Dean made the deal… not sure what was up or what was down. Not sure what was happening to me… to our family.

And now here I sit almost a year later and nothing is better.

Nothing has improved.

Nothing has been fixed.

If anything its all just gotten worse… harder.

And just like a year ago I listened as footsteps made their way through the bedroom. Green eyes looked at me through the open window… but this time it wasn't Dean who climbed out that window and sat next to me.

It was the other green eyed asshole.

"What do you want?" I asked not looking at him.

"To make this easier on you."

"Unless you know a way to save Dean and not get Sam killed in the process then you're not gonna be of much help."

"Emily… We're all doing everything we can."

"Its not enough. Why are we chasing stupid cases? Or pushing me to be careful when I could be useful? Why aren't we charging in guns blazing right now? We need to be doing something more."

"Dean's not going to let you get more involved… he doesn't think it's safe for you, and I kind of agree."

"Just leave me alone, okay?"

"No."

"You can't say no."

"I just did… I'm not leaving Em."

"I just want to be alone for a few minutes." I said my voice cracking on the last few words.

"Babe please…" He reached out to me, I sat still with the exception of my quivering lip. I slowly felt like the grip I had on myself was slipping. So I stood and went back through the window before I fell into a complete mess on the roof. Judson followed me but I didn't turn around when he called out my name. I kept walking… down the stairs, past the empty couch, and out on the porch where I ran straight into Dean.

"De… I-I'm sorry." I blubbered immediately catching him off guard. He reacted as naturally as he always has, just holding me and allowing me to get it all out of my system. At some point the open door that I'm sure Judson was standing in closed, and Dean moved us to sit on the old wooden swing.

We sat until my sobs turned into sniffles.

"Hey kiddo. Let's take a day off." He said taking me off guard.

"De we can't."

"Yes we can. I make the rules around here and I say we take a day off. Me and you out on the road. Like the old days." He smiled.

"We still gotta find the colt, and the demon, and there's too much to do."

"Babygirl, look at me… I don't care. You and Sammy are the only thing I care about. Sam's holding it together but you're not. And you haven't been for a while now. You need a break. And honestly I'd like one last hoo-rah."

"… one last hoo-rah. Meaning you don't think any of this will work."

Dean sighed.

"That's not what I mean kiddo. I just miss seeing you smile."

"De. I love you, and I love what you're trying to do. But the entire time I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. I'm not giving up on this, any of it. We fight till the very last second, remember?"

"Yeah… I do." He said sadly.

"So we keep fighting."

"Okay kiddo, we keep fighting."

"… But if you really want to take this case it might help to step back for a day or so and get a new perspective on things."

"Really?! We can go?" He asked with bright eyes.

"Well how often do we get to hunt zombies?" I grinned back.

…

Sam and I stood on one side of the table while Dean and the coroner stood on the other. The body was days old now, and you could tell.

"Yeah, the rest of the body was intact. The liver was the only organ missing." The coroner began.

"Now, where the liver was ripped out, did you happen to notice any...ah...teeth marks?" Dean asked. The coroner looked at him like he was a dumbfuck. It was kinda entertaining.

"Can I see your badges?" He asked then looking between the three of us.

"Of course, sure." Sam said as we all pulled them out.

"Fine. So you're cops and morons." The corner mumbled. I had to choke down a laugh, Dean shot me the bet bitch face I've ever seen.

"Excuse me? No, no. We're very smart." Dean argued with an unamused laugh. I elbowed him to tell him to shut up.

"The liver was not ripped out. It was removed. Surgically. By someone who knew their way around a scalpel. Didn't you read my report?"

"Of course we did. Oh, it was riveting. It was a real page-turner, just delightful." I smiled at him. He stared at me completely unamused.

"You done?" He asked me.

"Yeah. Ima go now…" I said turning to leave, Dean and Sam followed closely behind.

"So." I mumbled as we walked out to the hall to meet back up with Judson. "That kind of punches a hole in our zombie theory, huh, that scalpel thing?"

"Yeah, zombie with skills, Dr. Quinn, medicine zombie."

"Maybe we're on the wrong track, looking for hacked-up corpses."

"What should we be looking for?" Judson asked as we walked up.

"Survivors. This isn't zombie lunch. This is organ theft." He told him. Judson nodded and moved to walk beside me.

"So no zombies huh? Gotta admit I'm pretty disappointed."

"Well I hope that this means we can bail and get back to the demon." I mumbled so that my brothers wouldn't hear.

"Somehow I don't see Sam or Dean running out on a case, zombies or no zombies."

"Unfortunately that's true."

"So where to now?"

"Find a living victim."

…..

"I told the cops all of this yesterday. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"It's just a couple of questions, sir." I smiled to him sweetly.

"Hey, lady. I just got my kidney stolen. I'm tired."

"We'll be out of here quick. Don't you want to get the guy?" Judson asked him.

"Will it get me back my kidney?"

I literally had to bite my tongue not to spew off at this asshole… you know. Maybe this is just his karma coming back around.

"So what's the last thing you remember?" Judson asked him before I could lose my shit on him.

"Feeding my meter. I got jumped from behind...and then I wake up strapped to a table. And then the worst pain you could possibly imagine, only worse. And then I black out again. Thank God. And then I wake up screaming in some no-tell motel in a bathtub full of ice."

"Do you remember anything about the surgery – you know, what the guy looked like, any details about the room?" I asked.

"Let me think about that. Yeah...one thing is coming back to me. You know what I remember? Getting my kidney cut out of my body!"

"I swear if we have to spend one second longer in this room I'm going to cut his other fucking kidney out." I said to Judson under my breath. I quickly put his arm around me.

"Thank you for your time sir." He smiled before pushing me out of the room.

"Ugh! I hope his other freaking kidney gets ripped out! What an ass? I mean really. We're just trying to help his sorry ass."

"Chill pill Em. There's a lot of glass in here."

"Lets just go back to the motel… please."

"Sure thing. You need anything on the way?"

"Um. Vodka?"

"I'm not falling for that one again."

I chuckled.

"I'm good then… Unless you know a grocery store that sells soul saving magic."

"We'll figure it out hun." He said kissing the corner of my forehead as I leaned into him.

"You don't believe that… but its okay. Because I do."

He grabbed my hand as he pulled onto the road and drove us back. It was pretty evident that he didn't really think we could save Dean. But he at least pretended for my sake. I guess that counts for something in this world right? A man who goes against his own belief to comfort you… Or maybe its just the ultimate form of pity.

When we walked into the motel room Sam was researching and Dean was eating, like any other typical day.

"Well our vic was an asshole, and didn't give us shit. Please tell me you two found something."

"Well… I did find something interesting." Sam smiled turning to face us. I walked and sat down next to Dean, picking at his fries.

"Oh yeah?" Judson asked.

"Yeah. The victim was stitched up with silk."

"That's… weird." I guessed.

"Yeah nowadays it is, but silk used to be the suture of choice back in the early 19th century. It was really problematic. Patients would get massive infections. The death rate was insane."

"Good times." I smiled awkwardly, Sam laughed.

"Right, so doctors, they had to do whatever they could to keep infections from spreading. One way was maggots."

"Ew.."

"Dude, I'm eating." Dean added with burger in his mouth.

"It actually kind of worked because maggots, they eat bad tissue, and they leave good tissue. And get this. When they found our guy, his body cavity was stuffed full of maggots."

"My stomach might fall out if you keep saying things like that." Judson complained sitting down across from me. I lightly tapped his foot under the table, playing footsie to not think about flesh eating maggots. He grinned at me from across the table as we played.

"Dude, I'm eating! Alright, let me get this straight. So, people are getting ganked, right?"

"Yeah."

"A little antiques roadshow surgery, some organ theft. But why is this all sounding familiar?"

"Because you heard it before. When you were a kid... from Dad." Sam smiled.

"OH!" I said catching on. "Doc Benton...real-life doctor, lived in New Hampshire, brilliant and obsessed with alchemy, especially how to live forever. So, in 1816, Doc abandons his practice and..."

"Right, yeah, nobody hears from him for like 20 years, and all of sudden, people start showing up dead." Dean continued.

"Dead or – or missing an organ or the hand or some other kind of part."

"Cause whatever he was doing was actually working. He just kept on ticking?" Judson guessed. "Parts would wear out, he'd replace them."

"But I thought Dad hunted him down and took his heart out?" I asked my brothers.

"He did, I guess the Doc must have plugged in a new one." Sam shrugged.

"All right, where's he doing the deed?" Dean asked.

"According to this, Benton's picky about where he sets up his lab. He likes dense forest with access to a river or stream or some kind of freshwater."

"Why?" Dean asked with a mouth full of food.

"Because that's where he likes to dump the bile and intestines and fecal matter."

I silently gagged to myself. Dean made a disgusted face, but never put his burger down.

"Lost your appetite yet?" Sam asked him with a wide grin. Dean stared between Sam and the burger pensively. Then. He took another bite.

"Oh baby, I can't stay mad at you."

"You're disgusting De."

"Tomorrow we'll scope out the local greenery. See if we can find some isolated cabins not far from here." Sam suggested.

"Think he's dumb enough to stay in town after all this?"

"I think it's a good place to start if nothing else."

"Okay. I'm gonna go out and grab my bags."

"I'll come help." Judson offered.

"No sex in the car!" Dean yelled with food in his mouth as we walked out the door.

I laughed as we got to the impala and popped the trunk, Judson reached in and grabbed my bags, I took the small make up bag at the back of the trunk, but when I grabbed it everything fell out and scattered, apparently I left it unzipped.

"Shit." I mumbled as I began packing things back into it, Judson laughed at me and used his one free hand to help.

"What's this?" He said holding the little pill bottle I covered in black sharpie.

"Oh, nothing. Some medicine from a while back."

"What for?" He asked suspiciously as he set down the bags and used his other hand to open them.

"I don't remember, I had the flu or something." I said getting anxious.

"Emily these aren't antibiotics. What are they? Why did you cover up the script?" He asked with a little more force in his tone.

"I don't know! Just give them back!" I said reaching for them, but he pulled away.

"Not a chance in hell till I know what they are."

"They're personal, why the fuck does it matter?"

"Do Sam and Dean know what they are?"

"No! Just. Give them back… please."

"Emily, what are they?"

I sighed and leaned against the impala.

"Klonopin." I finally said.

"What?! Why would you have those?"

"I went undercover for a case and saw a shrink, he found out about my panic attacks and wrote me a script. Said that they would help me learn to be less dependent on Dean to stop them."

"Does Dean know you have these? Have you taken any of them?"

"No he doesn't know, and yeah. Just a couple of times when I was really worked up over something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know Judson! Why are you making a big deal about this?"

"Because it is a big deal Em, these things are highly addictive. I mean yeah they can help but only if you're being careful using them. So again I'll ask- when did you take them?"

"Once the day we went to see Luke, and a few times when I wake up from the nightmares. They just help me to go back to sleep sometimes."

"You took these while you were with me?!"

"What the hell is the problem here? I took them like they're prescribed! It's not like I downed a whole bottle."

"How often do you take them?"

"Not often… just a few times a week when I'm really exhausted and need to stop waking up all night."

He shook his head in frustration.

"If you can't sleep, come to me. I'll help… I don't like the idea of you taking these without anyone knowing about it. You should tell at least one of your bothers."

"No way! And don't you say a word or I'll never trust you again!"

"Emily that's not fair."

"Look- you would have never known had they not just fallen out of my bag, okay? I've had them for over a year now and I've not even used half the bottle. It's pretty obvious that I'm not addicted to them so please, just leave things alone."

"I don't like this… I don't like this at all."

"If I promise to come to you before taking them will you give them back and drop this?"

He stared at me while he considered it, I could see he was really weighing it out. I held a steady gaze, staring into eyes as green as emeralds. Flecks of yellow close to the center… he really is hot.

"Fine." He said bringing me out of my daze. "I'll give them back, but you come to me first before taking one. Deal?"

"Deal. I promise."

He slowly handed them back to me and I tucked them back in the bag, closing the trunk and walking back in to Sam and Dean getting ready for bed.

"I'm gonna head over to my room for the night, see yall in the morning." Judson said as he set down my bags.

"I'll get coffee in the morning, so don't waste your time making some." Sam offered.

"Sounds good man, good night."

"I'll be right back De." I said going to walk out with him.

"Five minutes, then I'm coming over there." He said not even bothering to open his eyes.

"Sir yes sir." I laughed. I stepped out behind Judson and followed him as he leaned against his door. I stepped forward and leaned my head against his chest. Listening to the steady beat of his heart as his arm wrapped around me.

"I kinda wish I could come to bed with you."

"I wish you could too Em." He said as he kissed the top of my head and ran his hands through my hair. I Tilted my head up to look at him, my chin resting on his sternum.

"Promise me if you don't fall asleep you'll come over, don't just take those okay? I don't like it."

"Why does it bother you so much?"

"Honest answer?" He sighed.

"Yes. Always." I nodded.

"Emily you're a little unstable right now. I don't mean that offensively or to put you down, but right now it would be really easy for you to get hooked on something like that. I just… I worry about you. I don't want life to get any harder on you than it already is."

"Okay. I won't take them."

"Really?"

"Really… I mean they help but not enough that I would rather take them then cuddle up next to you." I smiled. He grinned.

"You really should get some sleep. You need it."

"I'll try."

He leaned down and kissed me softly… then with more vigor. I traced my hands up under his shirt and up the sides of his rib cage. His slid into the back pockets of my jeans, gently squeezing. When he did instinct took over and I pushed him against the door, nails dragging across his back as his tongue slid against mine.

"Emily!" Dean's voice cut us off and caused me to jump back. I turned to see Dean glaring at me from our doorway. I shook my head at him and finally let go of Judson. I turned and waved once more before going in the doorway. Dean still glaring the entire time.

"C'mon Dean." I said as I stepped in and grabbed his hand, pulling him in behind me.

"Why do you two have to be so gross?"

"Coming from the man that made me sit in the car during his one night stands?"

"That was me. Not you."

"Oh- I forgot. I'm the only Winchester not allowed to have sexual urges."

Dean cringed.

"DON'T. Say those words. I can't sleep when you say things like that."

I laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Sam. Tell him he's ridicioulous."

"You're both ridiculous. Let's go to bed."

…

"Hey. Think I finally got a bead on Bela." Bobby's voice rang out through the phone speaker while we gathered at the back of the car to listen.

"We're listening." Dean replied.

"Rufus Turner."

"Who's that? Like a Cleveland steamer?"

"He's a hunter, or he used to be."

"And now?" I asked.

"Hermit mostly. Does a little selling on the side. Anyway. I put the word out on Bela months ago. He just called. Said a woman got in touch, wanted to buy some things."

"And he thinks it's Bela?"

"British accent, went by the name Mina Chandler."

"She's used that before. Well, it's kinda of a sloppy move, isn't it? Getting in contact with one of your old friends." Dean asked.

"Friend? Haven't laid eyes on him in fifteen years. He's not the Christmas card type. I doubt she knows I know him. Canaan, Vermont."

"Thanks, Bobby. We're on our way."

"One other thing. Take a bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue."

"Uh.. okay." Dean said hanging up.

"So are we going?!" I asked excitedly.

"Yup. Lets go get packed up."

"What? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a second." Sam interrupted.

"Come on. Get your stuff. The clock's ticking Sam."

"Look, I think we should stay here and finish the case."

"Are you insane? Sammy this is our chance!" I told him.

"Emily, there's no way she still has the Colt! That was months ago! She probably sold it the second she got it."

"Well, then I'll kill her. Win-win." I smiled.

"Em…"

"No! Sam we gotta go! This is our chance! Dean? Help here!"

"Sam. We're going." Dean said flatly. Judson stood carefully, not weighing in on one side or the other.

"No!" Sam yelled.

"Why the hell not?"

"Dean, this, this here. Now. This is what's gonna save you." Sam pleaded.

"What? Chasing some Frankenstein?"

"Chasing immortality. Look, Benton can't die. We find out how he did it, we can do it to you."

"Sam. What are you talking about?" I asked confused. How could we do that? Doc is basically corpses sewed together. NO way in hell is Dean gonna go for that.

"Dean you have to die before you go to hell, right? So, if you can never die, then..." Sam shrugged.

"Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second. Did you know that this was Doc Benton from the jump?" Dean asked in the dangerously calm tone.

"No…. Maybe. I was…. Look, I was hoping.

"So the whole zombie thing, it was lying to me?"

"I didn't wanna say anything until I was sure, Dean. All I'm trying to do is find an answer here."

"No. What you're trying to do is chase Slicy McHackey here. And to kill him? No. You wanna buy him a freaking beer. You wanna study him."

"I was just trying to help."

"You're not helping! You forget that if I welch on this deal, you die. Guess what, living forever is welching."

"Fine! Then, whatever the magic pill is, I'll take it too!"

"Sam… what about the hell hounds? This isn't going to work. They'll tear you to shreds no matter what body you're walking around in." I added. Dean nodded in agreeance.

"Emily this can work! Please trust me on this, I don't want to lose him either and THIS could work!"

"Oh, what is this? Sid and Nancy? No. It's just like Bobby's been saying. We kill the demon who owns the contract and this whole damn thing wipes clean. That's our best shot." Dean said.

"if you had the Colt, Dean, who are you gonna shoot? We have no idea who holds the ticket."

"Well, I'll shoot the hellhounds then before they slash me up. Now, you coming or not?" Dean said putting things in the trunk.

"I'm staying here." Sam said quietly.

"Sammy no. Please it never works well for us when we split up!"

"No, you're not. 'Cause I'm not gonna let you wander out in the woods alone to track some organ stealing freak." Dean argued.

"You're not gonna let me?" Sam challenged.

"No, I'm not gonna let you."

"How are you gonna stop me?"

"I'll stay with him, back him up." Judson offered.

"No. You need to watch her, she's on a demon's kill list and that was the agreement for you tagging along. She needs you. Look- Dean we're trying to do the same thing here."

"Sammy please come with us… I don't like leaving you here. Please don't make us do that."

"Emily. I have to. I have to see this through."

"No! Dean, tell him he can't stay!" I yelled.

Dean stood and stared at Sam. I didn't like where this was going.

"We're going… but if you wanna stay. Stay."

"No! Dean this is a bad idea! Nothing has ever worked out on the basis of us separating… please. Why can't you just come with us Sam!"

"I'm sorry Em, but I'll finish this up and meet you guys after okay? I promise." He said moving in to hug me. I stood with my arms crossed, not hugging him back.

"Sammy, be careful." Dean nodded to him, He nodded back. Then he grabbed his bag from the trunk and started walking towards town.

"C'mon Em, lets get going." Judson said putting his hand on the small of my back.

"This isn't right." I whispered walking Sam walk.

"He'll be okay kiddo, come on. We got haul ass before she takes off again." Dean called out as he started the car. Judson pulled me towards the car and opened the door. I finally got in, sliding in next to Dean.

He quickly pulled out onto the road, Judson in the backseat looking at me through the rearview mirror.

"De. Does this not feel familiar to you?"

"Its okay Em, we're not splitting up. Its just temporary for a day or so. He'll be back in no time."

I slumped down in the seat and tried to convince myself this wouldn't be like any other time Sam left… But life for the Winchesters does usually take the worst possible turn in any situation.

….

"This is the place?" I asked as we pulled up in front of an old run down house in the middle of a fairly plain neighborhood.

"Lets go find out." Dean smiled. I grabbed the bottle of whiskey and followed him. He hit the buzzer and I waited impatiently. Tapping my foot.

"What?" A voice came in over a PA system.

"Hi, uh, Rufus?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, even if I am, the question is still the same. What?"

"Uh, We're the Winchesters. Friends of Bobby Singer's."

"So?"

"Geez… this guy is friendly." I mumbled to Judson. He nodded in agreeance.

"You c-called him this morning." I stuttered awkwardly.

"So?"

"Uh… you told Bobby about a British chick who made contact with you." Dean continued.

"And so?"

"You know where she is?"

"Yeah."

"Great. Could you tell me where I could find her?"

"No."

"No?! What the fuck does he mean no?"

"Calm down Em, let Dean handle it." Judson whispered in my ear, his hands rubbing my shoulders. I mean seriously?! You have the answer to the world's biggest problem and you say no?! What the FUCK!

"Look, Rufus, man..." Dean begins but then the front door flew open. Revealing a very grumpy dark skinned man.

"Look, let me point something out to you. You are knocking at my door, so don't "Look, man" me. I'm not your man."

"I'm sorry, sir."

"All right, let me tell you a little story. See, once upon a time, Bobby called me, asked me to call him if I got a whiff of this Bela Talbot. I got a whiff. I called. The end."

"Please sir. If you could just tell us where she is, its extremely important that we find her." I pleaded.

"Winchesters, right?"

"Yes sir." I nodded.

"Girl, do I look like I'm here to help you?"

I stood speechless. Unsure of how to respond to that.

"Now get the hell of my property, all of you."

"You can't d-" I started to yell but Judson flew a hand over my mouth and Dean stood between Rufus and I taking over.

"All right, yeah, fair enough. I got one more question for you, though. See, I got this, uh, this bottle of scotch, and... uh, is this considered good?" Dean asked lifting the bottle of whiskey. Rufus stared at it carefully.

"Fine. Come in."

Rufus led us into the surprisingly clean house, and into the kitchen where he grabbed a couple of glasses and sat at the table, we all sat down as well. Rufus poured him and Dean a glass.

"Bottoms up." Dean smiled as they clinked glasses and downed the drink in one gulp.

"You know, I don't even bother drinking unless it's this stuff. Nectar of the Gods, I'm telling you." Rufus smiled.

"Yeah, it's a nice change, you know. Most of my whiskey comes from a plastic jug." Dean laughed, Rufus joined in. "So, Bela was here because..."

"She wanted to buy a couple of things, which is gonna take me some time to round up."

"Where is she now?" I asked.

"Can I ask you something?" Rufus said leaning into Dean- ignoring me.

This fucking guy better be of help or I'll gut his ass.

"Sure." Dean nodded.

"You got three weeks left. Why are you wasting your time chasing after that skinny, stuck-up English girl?"

My blood ran cold for a moment… how does this man know anything about us?

"How do you know that?" Dean asked him.

"Because I know things. I know a lot of things about a lot of people."

"Is that so?" I asked suspiciously.

"I know ain't no peashooter gonna save his ass."

"What makes you so sure?" Judson asked with genuine curiosity, unlike my burning irritation.

"Cause that's the job, kid. Even if you manage to scrape out of this one, there's just gonna be something else down the road. Folks like us...there ain't no happy ending. We all got it coming."

"Well, ain't you a bucket of sunshine?" Dean asked awkwardly.

"I'm what you've got to look forward to if you survive. But you won't." Rufus smiled raising another glass.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" I finally blurted out.

"Sit down and hush girl, this is grown up stuff." He said taking another drink. I stood up and slapped the cup out of his hand.

"NO! You sit down and shut up! This is my brother and he's going to hell in three weeks unless I can save him! So either tell us where Bela is or fucking drop dead like the useless piece of shit you are!"

"EMILY! GO!" Dean yelled standing up and getting between us.

Rufus stared at me with no emotion on his face. As if nothing I said mattered to him in the least. I felt warmth roll down my cheeks, and my hands begin to shake. I knew if I didn't do as Dean said then every glass in this man's house would be shattered in seconds. So I turned and stalked off out the door. Stopping on the porch to try and take a deep breath. Pacing back and forth for a few minutes before the front door opened again. Judson stepped outside.

"I'm sorry! I was just so scared he wouldn't tell us and now he's not going to tell us anything! I just need to know where she is." I cried.

"Whoa whoa whoa Em, calm down its okay." He said as he placed a hand on either side of my face. "Dean can fix it okay? He's working on it… It's okay. Take a breath."

"I-I feel like I can't breathe!"

"Shhh. Its okay babe, Just focus on me. I got you."

"I-I want Dean!" I cried.

"Okay okay, he'll be out in a few minutes, let's go sit in the car."

Judson walked me down to the car and sat rocking us back and forth until Dean finally came out the front door and walked towards us.

"Emily sweetheart you've gotta breathe." Dean said when he got to us.

"I don't know how to make her stop." Judson said quietly to Dean.

"Em, look at me. Its okay. We got her okay?"

"I didn't mean to m-make him angry-y De, I-I'm sorry!"

"Emily its fine he told me everything okay? We're okay. We got her."

"We have her? Wh-where is she?"

"In a motel in town, c'mon lets go get this colt huh?"

I nodded up and down an Dean ran around, getting in and starting the car. I used the ride there to pull myself back together, Judson sitting with me patiently the whole time. It really is amazing that in the middle of all this bullshit, he fell into my life. I don't know how to explain it.

…

"Okay. You two stay out of sight, when she comes in I'll grab her. I want you to only coming out after I have her pinned. Got it? Stay where you've got a good line of sight." Dean said setting up in Bela's empty motel room so we could be ready for her return.

It wasn't but maybe twenty minutes after we got into position that the lock on the door turned. My hair stood straight up. I want this to work so bad… I want this colt so bad.

Please God let this work…

The door opened and I heard Bela step in, then the door slammed shut and I could hear the shuffling of bodies.

"Where's the Colt?" Dean's voice filled the silence.

"Dean." Bela said calmly. "Where are your lovely siblings?"

"Present." I stood and smiled, Judson behind me.

"Well now that doesn't look quite like Sam… not as cute if you ask me." She said eyeing Judson.

"No extra words Bitch." Dean said quietly to her.

"It's long gone, across the world by now."

"You're lying." I quickly accused. "Dean grab her bag." Dean took it from her and began to dump it out… No colt.

"I'll call the buyer. Speak Farsi?"

Dean yanked her forward against him.

"What the hell are you..." She began to ask but then he quickly began to frisk her, finding her gun and holding up to her.

"Don't flatter yourself." He smiled. He flipped on the lights with the end of his gun, keeping hers in his other hand and then pointed it back at her.

"Don't move." He said as he tossed her gun to me. I smiled at her.

"What are you going to point my own gun at me?"

"I don't need a gun to take you down bitch."

"Oh yes, that's right. I forgot about your special little talents… it's a shame really."

"Why is that?"

"You don't know what they are do you? Where they come from… how they came to be in your possession."

"And you do?" I asked crossing my arms.

"No silly girl, I have no interest in that… but I'm sure you do."

"Shut up Bitch." Dean yelled. "Emily don't listen to her, she's just trying to create a distraction."

"I told you I don't have it." She told him.

"Oh, yeah, I'm definitely gonna take your word for it."

"It's gone. Get on a plane if you must. Track down the buyer. You might catch up to him eventually."

Dean gets tired of digging and coming up Empty, Judson also hadn't found anything during his search on the other side of the room. Dean crossed the room quickly and put the gun to Bela's head.

"Are you going to kill me?" She asked him calmly.

"Oh, yeah."

"You're not the cold-blooded type."

"You mean like you? That's true. See, I couldn't imagine killing my parents."

Bela's face quickly fell into shock, but she recovered just as quickly.

"I don't know what you're talking..."

"Yes, you do. You were, what, 14? Folks died in some shady car accident. Police suspected a slashed brake line, but it was all too crispy to tell. Cut to little Bela...Oh, I'm sorry, Abby...inheriting millions."

"How did you even..."

"We know people who know things." I told her sarcastically. "Let me guess… this is something you're interested in right? Thought you might be."

"Doesn't matter anyways." Dean added.

"They were lovely people. And I killed them. And I got rich. I can't be bothered to give a damn. Just like I don't care what happens to you." She smiled to Dean emotionlessly.

My hand raised and all at once the feeling of fire in my veins erupted. She was thrown back against the door and began gasping for air.

"Emily… don't do this." Judson whispered from behind me. Dean looked between her and I nervously. Bela's face was painted with panic. She struggled to move from the door or put her hands to her throat but something stopped her from doing so.

"Emily let her go…" Dean finally said backing up to stand beside me. I slowly and reluctantly lowered my arm. Feeling the fire turn into smoldering ambers, Bela fell to the floor and coughed, raking in air as the color came back to her face.

"Dean we can kill her. Right here right now. No one will care."

He shook his head at me. She crawled away from the door and to the couch, standing again.

"You're not worth it." He told her, motioning for us to leave. Bela didn't move or open her mouth as Dean and Judson left the room one after the other, I was almost out the door when I turned around.

"Remember this… If I lose him. I'm coming after you first."

I shut the door behind me and followed the boys down the hall. Once in the car Dean's phone began to ring.

"Yeah, Sam?"

"Did you get the Colt?" He asked. Dean placed the phone on speaker.

"What do you think?" I asked solemnly.

"So, does that mean Bela is, uh..."

"No, no, she deserves to die a dozen times over, but I couldn't do it. Em sure scared the shit out of her though."

"Dean..." Sam sighed.

"I'm really screwed, Sammy."

Hearing the disappointment in Dean's voice brought instant tears to my eyes. I slid over to him and wrapped my arms around him, he leaned his head down on top of mine. I did everything I could to bite back a sob.

"No, you're just.." Sam tried but couldn't find the words to say.

"But you were right. Bela was a goose chase. The Colt's gone, and this time I'm really screwed, Sam."

"Maybe not. Look, Dean, I found Benton's cabin."

"You okay? Was he there?"

"Yeah."

"Did you kill him?" I asked, my voice weak and shaky.

"No."

"What do you mean, no?" Dean asked him.

"Dean, please just listen for a second. I found his lab book, and it has the formula."

"What, the live-forever formula?"

A glimmer of hope took hold of me. I prayed this could be the hail mary we've been waiting for.

"Yeah."

"Great, let me guess. I got to drink blood out of a baby's skull?"

"No, that's the thing. It's not black magic. There's no blood sacrifice or anything. It's just science, Dean. Very, very extremely weird science, but..."

"Wait, wait, wait. What are...What are you saying? You think...

"Dean, I think it might be doable. I mean, I know we've hit a lot of walls, but I...I think this formula, I think it might be it. This could save you."

"What about hell hounds?" I asked.

"We can find ways to ward them off, hide our scents. Always stay moving like we do anyways." Sam suggested.

"Okay, so, this formula, what do we need?" Dean asked.

"Well, I mean, look, look, we're not in the clear yet. There are still things that I don't get..." Sam said distractedly. Then there were muffled sounds, Sam's muffled voice in a struggle, then it sounded as if his phone was dropped.

"Sam?! Sammy!" Dean yelled.

"Oh god… Dean! What's happening?" I asked panicked.

"Sam!" Dean yelled. But there was no reply. The line disconnected.

"Dean where did he go?!"

"I don't know!" He yelled back frustrated as he slammed the car into gear and took off.

"I'm going to call him again." I said digging for my phone, hands shaking.

"Emily babe take a breath." Judson said from behind me, leaning over the seat.

I dialed Sam… again and again and again.

"Dammit Sam just answer!"

"Emily… come back here and sit with me for a while." Judson said calmly as he put his hand over the phone, stopping me from dialing again.

"I-I I need him to answer the phone, you don't understand he has to answer it."

"I know Em, c'mon, let Dean drive in peace for a while. He's stressed out too." Judson whispered in my ear.

I nodded and climbed over the seat. Judson slid up against the door and motioned for me to lay down with my head on his lap. I did as he asked and tried to convince myself that if I could just sleep we'd be there by the time I woke up, or at least closer to there.

I laid quietly for a while, a few sniffles and tears escaping and falling onto Judson's jeans. He simply sat in silence, letting his finger tips trail my hairline, Its like all of us had so much we could say, but none of us knew how to say anything at all.

I just want Sam to be okay.

I just want to save Dean.

I just want to be a functioning human being again.

I just want things to get better.

Or at least stop getting worse…

Somewhere between my sniffling and silent pity partying I eventually fell asleep. Only to be woken up by the sound of a car door opening. I jumped awake and shot straight up, caught off guard by how dark my surroundings were.

"Hey, whoa. Take it easy, we're here." Judson said calmly. I could not see faintly in the darkness Dean digging in the trunk.

"Where are we?"

"Benton's cabin."

"Sam…" I mumbled more to myself then anything. Then I quickly got out of the car and met Dean at the trunk. He began handing me weapons, and I silently began loading them and sliding them into open pockets in both mine and Dean's jackets.

"We good?" He asked. Judson and I nodded.

"Stay behind me Em. Judson, go round back. I don't want this bastard getting away."

"No problem."

I followed Dean into the front door of the unlocked cabin. It was old, dusty, and obviously hadn't been used in years. It was the perfect hiding spot really. We could hear voices off in the distance, somewhere in the back of the cabin.

"Sam… Dean that's Sam's voice!" I whispered to him frantically. He nodded and we picked up the pace as we cleared each room silently, once we hit the very back room we found plastic traps hanging from the ceiling, lights and shadows moving behind them. Dean quickly ducked in between them and I could hear as Doc Benton taunted my brother who was strapped to a table, a tool in his hand.

Doc moved it to where it almost touched Sam's face and then 3 shots rang out in my ears. Dean fired, but the Doc only stood there, then he turned to face us.

"Shoot all you want." He said walking forward with his arms open and a sadistic smile on his face. Dean fired twice more, and me three more times.

"Emily run!" Dean yelled as he and the Doc began to push each other around the room. I dodged out of the plastic tarps and then around the back of the room and in them again to cut Sam loose.

"Emily get the hell out of here!" Sam hissed.

"Not without you two assholes!"

"Dammit Emily!"

"Shut up and help me Sam! Be still!"

"A knife? What part of immortality do you not understand? Pity about the heart, though. It was a brand-new one." Benton taunted Dean.

"Good. It should be pumping nice and strong." Dean smiled holding up a bottle of choloroform. "Sending this stuff throughout your whole body. See, I picked up your little bottle upstairs and dipped the knife in it."

Dean barely finished his sentence before the Doc collapsed. Once he was on the floor Dean rushed over to help me free Sam.

"Judson!" I yelled, calling for him to come inside. I heard footsteps rapidly approaching us, he stepped in cautiously. Gun raised.

"Dude… he looks like a quilt my grandmother would stitch together." He said looking at the Doc on the ground.

"Well he won't be out forever, what do we do with him?" I asked looking up to Dean as Sam climbed off the table.

"I don't know." Sam sighed, catching his breath. We decided to at least tie him down until we figured things out. I the process the doctor began to stir awake.

"Oh, hiya, Doc. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bac-y." Dean smiled.

"Please." The doctor begged.

"Please what? You've been killing poor bastards for over 150 years and now you got a request? Shut up."

"No, you don't understand. I can help you. I know what you need."

"We might have to cut him up into little bits. You know, this immortality thing is a bitch." I added.

"I can read the formula for you. You know...immortality...Forever young, never die."

"Dean." Sam said catching his attention. Giving him a knowing look.

"Sam."

Sam stepped outside the room and Dean and I followed.

"Dean. I mean, we're talking hell in three weeks. Or needing a new pancreas in like half a century."

"Yeah, well, you can't exactly get those at a Kwik-E-Mart."

"It's not perfect, but it buys us more time to think of something better. We just need time, Dean. I mean, please, just...just think about it."

"No." Dean's answer was firm and hard.

"Dean, don't you want to live?" Sam asked, choking back tears himself. I placed my hand over my mouth to not let any escape my body as well.

"What he is isn't living. Look, this is simple."

"Simple?" I squeaked out. "None of this simple…"

Dean put his arm around me and got down to talk with me on an eye to eye level.

"To me it is, okay. Black or white; human, not human. See, what the Doc is is a freakin' monster. I can't do it. I would rather go to hell."

"But De… what if we can't save you any other way. What if this is the ONLY way?"

"This isn't a way babygirl. Its not… I don't want to become a monster."

"You don't understand. I can help you!" Doc Benton called out from the other room. Dean walked back in and soaked a rag in chloroform. Then he laid it over the doc's mouth. Sam moved to help him sedate the doctor. I stood in the corner of the room and silently cried…

The only two slivers of hope I had were both crushed in the same day.

What now?

"Now, I'm gonna take care of him. You can either help me or not. It's up to you." Dean said to Sam. Sam nodded.

"What do we do with him?" Judson asked.

"Lock him up… we can't kill him. But we can imprison him."

"How will be sure he doesn't get out?"

"I got an idea or two." Dean grinned.

An hour later I watched as the boys put the finishing touches on Benton's own personal lock box.

"Enjoy forever in there, Doc." Dean said as he and Sam began filling the hole with dirt. The doc's screams and pleas to be let out faded as the dirt pile in front of me grew smaller and smaller. Once we finished we wasted no time getting back to the car and as far away from this cabin as possible.

"Listen. Now that we got this problem solved, we have another one." Dean said as we walked back.

"What's that?" Sam asked.

"Bela. This was all a trap. She wanted us to find her…"

"What does that mean?" I asked confused.

"It means, we have the jump on her. We need to use it… she doesn't have much time left either."

It suddenly clicked in my head… her room. The weird smell. It was a set of herbs used to ward off demons… and hell hounds.

"So what do we do."

"Play her game… cat and mouse." Sam suggested.

We went back to the motel we had been staying at in town and set up the room, complete with occupants in the bed… granted they were blow up sex dolls, but watching Sam blow one of those up is a sight that will never leave my mind. Then we parked across the street and waited for her to pull in.

"De. Look… we got action." I said as a woman in a blonde wig approached our room."

"Okay, lets get a head start." Dean said as he quietly started the car and left the headlights off until we were out on the road headed for the highway.

"How long do we wait to call her?" I asked.

"I'm sure she's figured it out by now." Dean smiled as he pulled out his phone.

"Hiya, Bela. Here's a fun fact you may not know. I felt your hand in my pocket, when you swiped that motel receipt."

"You don't understand."

"Oh, I'm pretty sure I understand perfectly. See, I noticed something interesting in your hotel room. Something tucked above the door. An herb. Devil's shoestring? There's only one use for that. Holding hellhounds at bay. So you know what I did, I went back and I took another look at your folks' obit. Turns out they died ten years ago today. You didn't kill them. A demon did your dirty work. You made a deal, didn't you, Bela. And it's come due. Is that why you stole the Colt, huh? Try to wiggle out of your deal, our gun for your soul?"

"Yes." Bela admitted. Her voice scared and strained.

"But stealing the Colt wasn't quite enough, I'm guessing."

"They changed the deal. They wanted me to kill Sam and Emily."

"Really! Wow, demons untrustworthy. Shocker. That's, uh, kind of a tight deadline too – what time is it? Well, look at that, almost midnight."

"Dean, listen, I need help." She cried into the phone.

"We are weeks past help."

"I know I don't deserve it."

Sure as fuck right about that.

"You know what, you're right, you don't. But you know what the bitch of the bunch is? If you would have just come to us sooner and asked for help we probably could have taken the Colt and saved you."

"I know, and saved yourself. I know about your deal, Dean. "

"And who told you that?"

"The Demon that holds it. She holds mine too. She said she holds every deal."

"She?"

"Her name's Lilith."

Sam and I shared a shocked look. Dean too looked surprised by the new information.

"Why would Lilith want us dead if she holds Dean's contract? Isn't part of that contract allowing Sam to live?" I asked Judson.

"I don't know Em… I didn't expect that."

"Lilith? Why should I believe you?" Dean asked her.

"You shouldn't but it's the truth."

"This can't help you, Bela, not now. Why you telling me this?"

"Because just maybe you can kill the bitch."

"I'll see you in hell." Dean told her solemnly before hanging up the phone.

"You're not going to hell Dean." I said breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Well. I'm fresh out of ideas. You have one?"

"Lilith. We go after Lilith. We know who the demon is, so our day wasn't a total loss. We can find a way to kill her without the colt. What about Ruby's knife? Or-or something in Dad's journal! And she's looking for us anyways! Why don't we just throw ourselves out there and let the bitch come to us."

"Are you crazy or stupid?" Dean asked me with surprising anger. I sat back a little stunned.

"Dean, take it easy." Sam warned him.

"This demon is out to KILL US ALL. Not just me! This is the same demon that wants you and Sam both skewered on a stick, probably to roast next to me in the pit! If you think for one second I'm letting you anywhere near her then you're stupid and crazy. Not a chance in hell! We will go back to Bobby's, process the new information, and regroup. End of discussion."

"But Dean we don't have time to regroup! We're losing hours just driving in this stupid car for some stupid case and stupid Bela! We need to be taking action! Not just sitting around talking about it!"

"So we can end up in an ambush? I don't think so. I will not put your life at risk to save mine, or Sam's!"

"This is horse shit! You know I can help save you! Why won't you let me help you!"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

"You aren't dad so you can't say shit like that!"

"Emily calm down, this isn't helping." Judson whispered in my ear.

"NO! I'm sick of calming down, and waiting, and being patient and fucking letting everyone else have a say in this but me! If Dad was here right now he would let me help you Dean! He would WANT me to help you right now!"

"Dad isn't here! I'm the closest you'll ever get to having him back so I suggest you get used to it while you still can! Cause in 3 weeks you're going to need to grow the hell up and learn to handle shit like this on your own!"

"Don't talk to me like that!" I yelled with blurring vision, tears invading my sight without permission.

"I'll talk to you any way I want! Now sit down and shut up!"

"Stop the car!"

"No!"

"I said stop the car!" I screamed, and without warning the breaks squealed and the car came to a sudden stop, nearly throwing me over the seat. Then the entire car died.

"What the fuck did you just do?" Dean yelled as he tried repeatedly to turn the key in the ignition. I ignored him and climbed out. Walking down the side of the road back towards the town we just left.

"Come on out Lilith! You psycho fucking bitch! I'm right here!" I yelled into the darkness.

"Emily Anne Winchester! Get your sorry ass back in that car right now!" Dean yelled stomping behind me.

"Come get me bitch!" I continued to yell.

"Dammit Emily! Get back in the fucking car!" Dean yelled as he caught up to me and grabbed me by the arm.

"No! Let me go!"

Screams of protest quickly turned into Sobs as Dean began to pull me out of the road and back towards the car. My knees gave way and my shins slid against the pavement. Dean stopped pulling on my arms, and let me sit on the ground, sobbing hysterically.

"De I-I don't know w-what to do!"

"C'mon babygirl, don't do this to me. Please." He said his voice cracking at the end.

"I d-don't want you-u to go."

Dean leaned down and slid one arm under my knees, and another behind my back. I gripped him around his neck and cried as hard as I did the day my daddy died.

"Don't leave me please!" I begged between sobs as he set me down on the trunk.

"Sam… please." He said as he pulled my arms loose and stepped away. Sam stepped in where he stood, I cried even harder knowing that in just a matter of days it would be just me and Sam… only having each other to truly lean on.

I watched over Sam's shoulder as Dean walked forward onto the dark road. His hand rubbing over his face and down the back of his head.

"De please…" I cried, even though he couldn't hear it. "I-I need to fix it."

"Shhh.. Em. Breathe sweetheart. Breathe." Sam whispered.

"I-I …. Dean please! J-Just fix it!" I begged.

But he only walked farther into the darkness until I couldn't see his shadow any longer.

"Sammy please… We have to save him."

"I know sweetheart. I know."

Dean's figure eventually started to make its way out of the darkness and back into my line of sight. When he came closer I noticed his eyes were red rimmed, and his hair skewed. He linked eyes with mine and held them until he was back, standing in front of Sam and I.

"I'm sorry babygirl. I truly am…" He said as Sam stepped aside and Dean bear hugged me tighter than he has since I was a kid. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and my legs around his waist, letting myself cling to the way he smelt, his warmth, the comfort in the familiarity of every move he made.

"I'm so sorry kiddo… I'm so sorry."

I cried into his shoulder until my body had nothing left to give. When that finally happened, Dean carried me around to the side and put me down, opening the door for me to climb in next to Judson. Who patiently allowed us to settle our family drama without a witness.

Sam and Dean both got back and baby fired up without a glitch. I looked up to Judson, and met the most concerned look I'd ever seen on his face. He reached up and pushed a stray hair out of my face. I moved to sit as close to him as I could. Feeling the slightest bit safer under his arm as it draped over the back of the seat.

"Hey Em… remember what we said?" Dean finally asked.

I shook my head confused.

"We keep fighting. Okay? I promise. I'm not giving up."

I tried as hard as I could to push a half of a smile onto my face. To erase the last half hour of desperation.

"We keep fighting."


	61. Chapter 61

Author's Note: Not gonna lie… there may or may not have been tears shed writing this. I was really nervous about this chapter cause I felt like there has been so much build up to it. SO… with that being said. I hope it satisfies you all after all the momentum its gained. The next few chapters are going to be kind of different. I'm kinda playing with how I want to space out Dean's time in hell… if you have any requests or recommendations I'm all ears! I love you guys so much! Thanks for sticking by Emily through all of this! Things may get ugly, but I promise they'll get better! Love you all! Please leave a review and let me know what direction you'd like to see this go!

(Third Person POV)

Sam stood in the doorway silently, watching as Emily scrubbed a spot on the floor intensely. As if getting that one stain off the tile flooring would fix the mess they were in. He sighed as he counted the hours in his head… 36 hours. That's all they had left to save his brother. Part of him felt guilty, none of this would have happened had he not died in the first place. The other part of him felt terrified. If Dean dies then he becomes the big brother. He becomes the boss. He and he alone becomes responsible for Emily.

How did all of this happen so fast?

Wasn't it just yesterday that they still had weeks left?

The harder he watched her scrub that one damn spot the harder it became to stand in silence.

"Em, give it a rest will ya?" He called out softly. Without looking up at him she sat up on the same knees she's been on for hours and dropped the scrub brush in the bucket.

"I gotta do something Sammy." She whispered. She'd gone through every book under this roof multiple times, none of them held the answer to their problem. She felt completely helpless. So she busied herself with mindless tasks, things that allowed her to focus on something small, something fixable, hoping that an epiphany would come to her and save the day.

"I know kiddo, but you've scrubbed every inch of this floor already."

"I know I just, I gotta get this one spot up… its like its yelling at me!" She said reaching back down for the scrubber.

Sam walked towards her and bent down, taking the brush from her hands.

"Emily why don't you go outside, see if Judson needs a hand. Get some fresh air."

"I don't wanna leave Dean in there alone."

"He's taking a nap anyways, you haven't been more than 10 feet away from him all week, I promise. He's not going anywhere in the next couple of hours sweetheart."

"I wanna be here when he wakes up."

"I'll come get you. I promise."

Emily sat and debated it for a second, finally nodding. Sam stood and grabbed her hands, pulling her up off the floor, her knees bright red. She stretched for a second then stepped forward and leaned against him. She wrapped her arms around his slender waist and squeezed. Sam rubbed his hands up and down her back, truth be told he was terrified at the thought of losing Dean, but even more terrified of how he was going to help Emily deal with it. She was so reliant on him, and she was only attaching herself more at the fear of losing him forever. He hoped that having Judson around would give her another person to rely on, would help her branch out from Dean some, but it hadn't made a difference up to now. The more He and Dean both tried to push her to stand on her own two feet the more she felt lost and held on tighter.

It was a vicious circle that was sure to end in misery. But no one knew how to stop it.

(Emily's POV)

I walked out the front door and through the yard, a chill causing me to wrap my arms around myself. I heard clinking in the garage and saw the faint light of the cracked door shine out into the junk yard. I wasn't the only one who was anxiously busying themselves. Bobby has been in and out of the house all week hunting down leads, I've been cleaning, and Judson and Dean have been tinkering with cars and Sam keeps going through every book and website he can find. I guess we're all kind of a mess right now.

I pushed the door open grabbing Judson's attention.

"Hey." I whispered with a half smile. "You get this thing running yet?"

"Close, but not quite… how you holding up?" He asked setting down his tools and wiping his hands.

"Well. I was scrubbing the stain in front of the dishwasher but Sam made me come outside." I shrugged. Judson looked between my face and my red knees, shaking his head disapprovingly.

"How long were you down there this time?"

"A couple of hours."

"Ya know." He smiled. "If you wanted to put those knees to work I have better things in mind then scrubbing the floors."

"You're such a perv." I giggled.

"But I'm a perv that made you smile." He said walking over and kissing my lips tenderly. "I haven't seen that smile in a few days."

"I'm worried you may not see it for a while longer if a miracle doesn't happen."

"Hang in there Em… somethings gonna come up. I know it." He said as he wrapped his arms around me.

"What if it doesn't?" I whispered.

"Then I'll be here for you, and Sam… and Bobby. And even if we can't save him, I promise you'll never be alone."

"So what then I live the rest of my life knowing he's in hell? No… I can't."

"Okay.. okay, calm down babe. Even if Dean goes to hell, we'll search for a way to get him out, okay? I promise."

"Its not fair… he doesn't deserve to go. Out of everyone on the planet, he just doesn't deserve this. He's never done anything but help people."

"I know Em."

I buried my face into the crook of his neck and let him soothe my nerves with his hand running through my hair, I breathed him in. Even covered in car grease he was beautiful. He was soft, and rough all at the same time… and he was here with me.

"I'll never understand why you put up with me." I mumbled against him.

"You're not so bad." He said pulling back and kissing me again, I reached up and wove my fingers through his hair. He pushed me back until I bumped into the old car. His hands reached down behind my legs and lifted, setting me on the trunk, I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him as close to me as I could. I get that right now is probably the absolute worst time for any of this but… It was the only thing that felt good. It was the only thing that felt right in this mess of things gone wrong.

His hands traced up my stomach under my shirt, stopping on the lining of my bra. He slid one finger under the loop in the center of my breasts and pulled on it slightly. I immediately reached back to unhook it but then he stopped.

"Whoa cowgirl… slow your roll." He whispered as he pulled my hands behind me back and held both my wrists between one of his hands. I laid back against the car and fought to catch my breath as his other hand wound circles around my belly button.

"You're such a tease." I breathed.

"Oh I can show you a tease." He grinned deviously. With my hands still locked behind my back he pushed my shirt up about half way. Then he leaned down and used ran his tongue across the edge of my jeans. In one swift motion he grabbed them in between his teeth and yanked loose the button, once I felt it pop he reattached his mouth to the zipper and pulled it all the way down. My heart nearly stopped. He planted kisses from my belly button down to edge of my lacy black underwear, pulling at the fabric.

"Oh god…" I shuddered. Begging him silently to keep going. He released my hands and pulled me back up. I grabbed his face and pulled him to me, my tongue sliding across his in the heat of the moment. My hands dropped and pulled against his belt, undoing the buckle. I was almost shocked when he didn't stop me, I could feel him growing excited against my thighs, and it just made me want him even more.

"Emily wait." He breathed heavily pulling away form me.

"Why?" I groaned in displeasure.

"Because… this isn't right. Not right now."

"What's so wrong about it?"

"Your mind is in a million different places, this isn't going make it any easier. I promise babe… when the dust settles. I'll still be here, and we can do whatever you want. But right now I just don't feel right about it. Okay?"

"Why are you so fucking hot?" I groaned exasperated as I fell back on the trunk again. He laughed, then rezipped and buttoned my pants.

"It's the eyes, gets em every time." He shrugged nonchalantly. I scoffed and he laughed. He pulled me back to stand and slapped my ass as I started to walk back towards the house.

When we wandered in Dean was still where I left him, asleep at the desk, reading through another book. I stopped to stare at him, he was flinching in his sleep, having a nightmare no doubt. They started about a week ago… now we both wake up every night.

"I'm gonna jump in the shower, you still gonna be down here when I'm done?" Judson asked kissing my shoulder.

"Yeah. You know where to find me."

He trotted up the stairs, and I walked over to Dean.

I ran my hand through his short hair. Shaking his shoulder to wake him.

"De.. Dean. Wake up."

He jumped awake and I could tell his heart was racing and his breath felt far from him. He looked around sporadically.

"Its okay De."

"Wha- what time is it?"

"I don't know… I ripped all the clocks off the walls a couple of hours ago." I admitted guiltily.

Dean sat back on his chair and stared at the book on the desk in front of him. The page was turned to hell hounds. When he looked at them fear struck him. I reached forward and shut the book.

"De… are you okay?"

"I'm good kiddo. I'm good." He said reaching up and pushing some hair behind my ear. I turned and sat sideways on his lap, my arms wrapped around his neck. He held me easily, just like he has my entire life. We just sat in silence… both of us too afraid to say anything at all.

"De, I love you."

"I love you too, Em." He mumbled sleepily.

"Do you wanna go to bed?"

"No, no… lets just go stretch out on the couch. This chair is a little small." He said as I climbed off his lap. He stood and stretched his muscles, Then he pushed me over to the couch in Bobby's living room and stretched out, opening his arms for me to some sit with him. When I did he pulled a blanket up around us.

"You know what I want kiddo?"

"Hm?"

"I wanna hear you sing again… its been so long. I don't know why you stopped. Your voice could melt every person in a room."

"Fine… but only for you. I don't wanna go somewhere. I wanna stay here."

"Deal." He chuckled.

I climbed back up and walked over to Bobby's old piano.

"You know… I wish you guys would have stuck to it when you were trying to force me to learn this thing."

"Well we'll add it to the list of things I did wrong in life."

"Dean… don't do that."

I sat and piddled, playing a couple of random keys.

"Need someone to play that thing?" Judson walked in and asked.

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Only if you want to hear my terrible off key singing."

He rolled his eyes.

"Move over."

I looked up at Dean and he watched carefully as Judson sat down on the bench beside me, he then reached up and began playing some beautiful musical tune I didn't recognize, it was beautiful. Dean and I swapped surprised glances.

"What shall I play for you my dear?" He teased.

"Hmmm… something for Dean." I mumbled out loud, then it came to me and I pulled up the song's piano sheet music on my laptop for Judson to read. Once I placed it on the top of the piano he gave me a curious glance.

"Well can you play it or not?"

"I guess we're fixing to find out."

"Do me a favor and slow it down… its better that way. I promise."

"Fine. You're the lead here."

Judson began to play, slowly.

" _Hey brother, there's an endless road to re-discover. Hey sister, know the water's sweet but blood is thicker"._

" _Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you, There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do."_

My voice tried to crack, so I pulled back and swallowed for a second, meeting eyes with Dean for only a moment. Knowing If I stared at him too long I wouldn't be able to continue.

" _Hey brother, do you still believe in one another? Hey sister, do you still believe in love, I wonder? Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you,There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do."_

I pushed through the lump forming in my throat as I felt the words hit my straight in the chest. Because I truly would give the world to save my brother at this moment.

" _What if I'm far from home? Oh, brother I will hear you call."_

" _What if I lose it all? Oh, sister I will help you out!"_

" _Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you, There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do."_

I looked up again to lock eyes with Dean, a red rim forming around his bright green eyes.

Don't do this to me now De…

I pushed, forcing myself not to fall apart.

" _Hey brother, there's an endless road to re-discover. Hey sister, do you still believe in love, I wonder?"_

" _Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you, There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do."_

This point in this song is an instrumental break. Judson played it beautifully, increasing and decreasing the tempo accordingly to mix it up from the original but still keep it to where I could come back in at the tempo we've been on. Dean and I stared at one another, secretly we both knew these were some of our last minutes together, but neither of us would let ourselves believe it.

A tear fell down my face, then another.

I had to pull my gaze away from him. I leaned my head down and tried to focus on the music so I'd know when to come in, thankfully Judson nudged me with his elbow and counted me back in.

" _What if I'm far from home? Oh, brother I will hear you call._

" _What if I lose it all? Oh, sister I will help you out!"_

" _Oh, if the sky comes falling down for you, There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do."_

Judson finished the last of the song, I reached up and wiped my face. It took everything I had not to fall apart sitting on this bench next to him.

"Em." He whispered sadly. I couldn't stand the pity, I couldn't stand the guilty look on Dean's face… I couldn't stand spending another second crying in front of Dean when we should be savoring every moment we had. Fighting to save him…

"I'm a… gonna take a shower, okay?" I said quickly standing and walking over to Dean, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek.

"I'm so sorry Kiddo." Dean whispered before letting me go. I nodded and quickly pulled away from him. I ran up the stairs and was sure to at least make it to the other side of the door before collapsing into a mess of sobs.

I don't know how to do this… any of this.

I don't know how to grieve before the loss.

Or how to put the process on hold till he's actually gone.

I don't know how to make myself stop the crying.

I didn't know the human body could produce so damn many.

"Emily…" Sam's soft voice knocked on the other side. I slid away from the door and didn't respond, but he opened it anyways.

He quickly came to sit next to me on the floor, I didn't hesitate to cry into him as he held me. Neither of us saying a word.

Because lets face it…. There aren't any words left to say.

….

(Third Person's POV)

Dean sat on the couch in silence, looking up at Judson who was still sitting at the piano bench. His eyes were focused on the staircase that Emily had just disappeared upon.

"You know." Dean said catching Judson's attention. "She's going to need you. You and Sam, and Bobby. She uh… she's only going to get worse for a while."

"Yeah. I know." Judson said softly, walking over to sit in a chair across from the couch.

"There uh, there's some things you should know. Sam pretty much knows all this anyways but uh, if you're gonna be around then you should know them too."

"Okay. Sounds fair." Judson nodded.

"Um, she uh.. she doesn't like sleeping alone. It makes nightmares worse. Even if she's only touching someone's arm or their foot with her leg, its enough. Just as long as she knows she's not alone she'll be fine."

"Is this you giving me permission?" Judson asked with raised eyebrows.

"You had better be and STAY fully clothed."

Judson laughed at Dean's expression.

"Okay… what else?" He added. His tone falling more serious.

"Um. Don't make fun of her weird food choices. She gets self-conscious about them. And she doesn't actually like pizza… she just pretends to because she knows Sam and I like it. So don't ever get pizza. Always get Chinese. Or Italian. She loves pasta…" Dean's gaze wandered, as if bringing a memory to mind. He chuckled to himself.

"Cheesecake for birthdays?" Judson asked.

"Yeah… yeah. Cheesecake for anything. Cheesecake for birthdays and bad days, and broken hearts, and cravings. OH! Speaking of cravings. When that time of the month hits- fuzzy socks and a heating pad. Seriously. The only thing that she wants."

"Fuzzy socks?" Judson asked with a funny look on his face.

"Yeah. I uh… first time was kinda awkward. But. Fuzzy socks. They just made her so happy."

"Fuzzy socks to make her happy… got it."

"Don't take her to scary movies. Unless you're planning on staying up all night with her."

"What? Are you kidding me? Scary movies… she fights monsters."

"Hey man, I know." Dean laughed. "But something about scary movies just get to her. Especially dolls and clowns. She got that from Sammy."

"So what kind of movies then?"

"Comedy. Action… Disney."

"Great." He sighed.

"Don't make fun of her for crying in sad movies… she tries to hide it. Sam and I usually pretend not to notice. Cause it embarrasses her, but her heart is just so big… she loves so much. Like our mom."

"Can I ask you a question and you not be angry or offended by it… its genuine curiosity." Judson said leaning forward.

"Sure." Dean said slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Why did you raise her to be so dependent on you and Sam? You were raised to be hunters. Surely you had to know you or Sam would die along the way, and that it would leave her… like this. I mean she has these streaks of independence, but when it comes to you and Sam she's too afraid to stand on her own. Why didn't you push her more?"

Dean looked down at the floor. He had asked himself the same thing for years now. Did he love her too much? Did he not push her hard enough? Did he not prepare her for the life of a hunter…

"I think it's because I felt like I had to play two roles in her life. Big brother, and father. When she was little she craved attention because Dad was always here and there. So I tried to make up for it, and it just kinda became what it is. She'll figure it out, I promise. But it's just gonna be hard until she does."

"Dean man, I wish there was a way to stop all this. For your sake and Em's."

"Me too… but who knows. 30 something hours left on the clock… Winchester's usually tend to pull a miracle out of their ass at the last minute."

"Well I'd be happy to see that."

"I'm serious though man… if and when all this goes bad. I'm asking you to promise me right here, don't leave her. She's going to push you away, and she's going to get angry, and say shit she doesn't mean. She's going to go down some dark roads… but just hang in there with her."

"I promise."

…..

(Emily's POV)

"Hey!" Sam hollered as he came trotting down the stairs, Dean and I who were both snoozing on the couch sat up. Judson was asleep in the chair and barely groaned.

"Yeah?" Dean hollered back.

"Bobby just called… he's got something."

I instantly perked awake, going over to the chair and elbowing Judson one good time. He groaned as he held his stomach and shot me the bitch face.

"Yeah. A way to find Lilith."

"Oh with just uh- thirty hours to go." Dean smiled weakly.

"Its something De." I said.

"Hey, why don't we just make a TJ-run, yeah? You know... some senoritas, cervezas, uh, we could... What's Spanish for donkey show?"

"So if we do save you... Let's never do that." Sam snickered.

"Yeah..." Dean sighed discouragingly.

"Hey, Dean." Sam sighed walking forward. "Look, we're cutting it close, I know. But we're gonna get this done. I don't care what it takes, Dean. You're not gonna go to hell. I'm not gonna let you."

Dean looked between Sam and I. Not sure what to say.

"I swear. Everything's gonna be okay."

A look in Dean's eye changed slightly, so small that had I not been watching him I wouldn't have noticed it. Then he quickly regained his composure.

"Yeah, okay." He smiled.

"Bobby will be here in an hour."

….

"So you need a name, that's the whole kit and caboodle. With the right name, right ritual, ain't nothing you can't suss out." Bobby explained as he laid out a map of the US and a few trinkets.

"Like the town Lilith's in?" I asked hopeful.

"Kid, when I get done, we'll know the street." Bobby smiled. I looked at Judson and smiled… this was it! This is our miracle! I just know it. He smiled at me encouragingly. I stood and linked my hand with his. Watching as Bobby began the ritual, swinging a pendulum back and forth over the map… until it stopped suddenly.

"New Harmony, Indiana." Dean whispered.

"And we have a winner." Bobby smiled.

"Alright." Sam cheered. "Let's go."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Let's all shut up there, Tex." Dean interrupted just before we all split to pack.

"What's the problem?" I asked him.

"What's the problem? Come on, where do I begin? I mean, first of all, we don't even know if Lilith holds my deal. We're going off of Bela's intel? Now when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked. Okay. Second, even if we could get to Lilith, we have no way to gank her. And third, isn't this the same Lilith that wants your pretty little head on a pike? Sam's too! Should I continue?"

"Ain't you just bringing down the room." Bobby grumbled.

"Yeah, well, it's a gift." Dean smiled sarcastically.

"Well then what are we supposed to do Dean?!" Sam asked.

"Just 'cause I gotta die doesn't mean you have to, okay. Either we go in smart or we don't go in at all."

"Okay, fine. If that's the case I have the answer."

"You do?" I asked turning to Sam… please. C'mon guys! This is our chance!

"Yeah. A sure-fire way to confirm it's Lilith and a way to get us a bona fide demon-killing ginsu."

"Damn it, Sam, no." Dean sighed.

"We're so past arguing. Dean, I am summoning Ruby." Sam said taking a stand.

"The hell you are! We have enough problems as it is."

"De I'm with Sam on this! I hate her just as much as you do… but she's got the knife! We can SAVE you Dean!"

"We've got no time and no choice either." Sam added before Dean could respond.

"Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks, okay. She told you that she could save me, huh – lie. She seems to know everything about Lilith but forgot to mention, oh right – Lilith owns my soul!"

"Okay, fine. She's a liar. She's still got that knife."

"Dean." Bobby sighed.

"For all we know, she works for Lilith." Dean argued.

"Then give me another option, Dean. I mean, tell me what else." Sam interrupted.

"Sam's right." I said crossing my arms. We HAVE to try.

"NO! DAMN IT!" Dean yelled. Bobby looked at him surprised… they stared each other down for a few minutes. Dean finally took a breath. "Just no. We are not gonna make the same mistakes all over again. You guys wanna save me, find something else."

"What?!" I cut in utterly disgusted. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!"

I could feel the house begin to rattle, but I couldn't stop it.

"After all this! After everything we've done! You want to pass on what could be THE ONLY way we have left to save you! What the fuck is wrong with you Dean!"

"Emily stop! I will not get you and Sam killed trying to fix this!"

"Oh fuck you Dean! I don't give a shit what you say! We're summoning her!"

"No you're not!"

"YES I AM!" I screamed. The crystal ball on the table burst and shattered into pieces, the bottles on the counter flew off and across the room, smashing into the wall.

Everyone ducked and paused for a moment, except for Dean and I. We stared each other down without a word, I could feel the heat in my cheeks, and then in my stomach and my hands.

"Em, why don't we go outside for a second." Judson whispered grabbing my hand. I pulled it away from him.

Bobby began to walk out of the room, this caught our attention and we both looked away.

"Where are you going, Bobby?" Sam asked.

"I guess to... find something else." Bobby sighed with his hands up in the air.

Sam sighed and leaned against the wall.

"No Ruby… that's final." Dean said before leaving the room.

Sam and I shared a look… then a nod.

We're saving his ass, no matter how stubborn it is.

"Judson… keep Dean upstairs." I said as Sam and I disappeared into the basement.

"You ready Em?" Sam said as he finished drawing the last of the symbols on the wall. I lifted the flask of holy water, then slid it into my back pocket. Sam nodded.

"Sam… I'm telling you now. If she resists. I'll kill her."

"If you can't handle being down here, then you need to go upstairs and keep an eye out for Dean."

"No way… the knife is our chance to save Dean. I'm not going anywhere."

"Well then chill out, and shut up." He warned.

I hate the way he defends Ruby. It makes me want to hurl. I rolled my eyes but took two steps back into the shadows.

"Ad construgendum ad ligandum eos pariter Et solvendum." Sam chanted. "Et ad congregantum eos coram me."

"You know, phones work too." Ruby smiled form behind Sam. He turned to look at her. "Hey, Sam. How's tricks?"

"How do you get around so fast?"

"I got the Super Bowl jet pack So. You called?"

"Did you know?"

"Um – gonna need a tiny bit more."

"About Dean's deal. That Lilith holds the contract."

"Yes, I did." She shrugged.

What a fucking bitch! It took everything I had to hold back and not kill her where she stood for just that.

"And… what? You didn't think that was important?"

"You weren't ready."

"For what?"

"If I told you, you three yahoos would have just charged after her half-cocked and Lilith would have peeled the meat from your pretty, pretty faces."

"Well we're ready now." I said stepping forward. She turned to face me.

"There's sweet little Emmy Lou."

"Gimme the knife, bitch."

"Ya know…" She said walking towards me. "You're right about one thing. You are ready. I've heard about all the trouble you've been causing with the Demons. Torture suits you well. And now's the time, too. Lilith's guard's down."

"Is that so?" Sam asked.

"She's on shore-leave. A little R&R."

"The hell's that mean?"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know. You didn't lose those hex bags I gave you?"

"We've got 'em."

"Good. Then she won't sense that you're coming."

"So you'll give us the knife?" I asked.

"No."

"But you just said–" I began angrily.

"You wanna charge in with one little pigsticker? It's a waste of a true-blue window. Like getting Hitler with that exploding briefcase. Forget it."

"Fine, then how?"

"I know how to save your brother, Sam." She said turning away from me and back to Sam.

"No, you don't! You told Dean you couldn't! You've been lying to me all along, so just give me your damn knife!"

"You're not the one I've been lying to."

"Oh, so you can save him?"

"So help me God you better answer that carefully… cause I'm about done with this conversation." I warned her.

"No." She sighed. "But you can."

"What?" Sam asked confused.

"Sam, you've got some God-given talent. Well, not "God"-given but you get the gist."

"All that psychic crap? That's gone ever since Yellow-Eyes died." Sam argued.

But mine's not… the thought began running through my mind.

"Not gone, dormant. And not just visions either. Why do you think Lilith is so scared of you? Emily too…"

"Right... she's scared of me. " I rolled my eyes.

"If you wanted, you could wipe her off the map without moving a muscle, Sam."

"I don't believe you."

"It's the truth."

"And you decided to tell me this just now?"

"Um... demon. Manipulative's kinda in the job description. Fact is, is that you would have never considered it. Not until you were –"

"Desperate enough?" I cut in. She shrugged nonchalantly.

"You don't like being different. You hate the way Dean looks at you sometimes. Like you're some kind of sideshow freak. But suck it up because we've got a lot of ground to cover, and we've gotta do it fast. But we can do it." She said to Sam.

Sam bit his lip as he looked at the ground, but then he looked back up to her.

"Look. Call me a bitch, hate me all you want, but I have never lied to you, Sam. Not ever. And I'm telling you. You... can save your brother, and I can show you how."

"Why Sam… Why can't I do it? If he's out of the game then let him be out. You said yourself you heard what I was doing to the demons."

"Truth is Emmy Lou… maybe you can. Or maybe you can't. You're still a mystery to us all. Sam however, Sam I was prepared to work with. Sam I can work with. You're too volatile my dear."

"Why don't you just let me show you what I can do." I said lifting my hand, her hands went straight to her throat, her eyes wide… I watched as a thin line of red smoke began to move from my palm.

"Emily! Stop!" Sam yelled. I pulled back reluctantly. Ruby coughed and recomposed herself. I just want to kill her and take the fucking knife!

"Sam, lets finish this shit." I said aggravated.

"Yeah Sam… lets finish this. Are you in or not? There are so many things I can teach you." Ruby asked.

"So that's you, huh? Our slutty little Yoda." Dean's voice caught us all off guard. I jumped and spun, watching him appear out of the shadows.

"Dean." Ruby smiled. "Charming as ever."

"Aw, I knew you'd show up. Because I knew THEY wouldn't listen." Dean said shooting daggers at Sam and I. I looked away guiltily. "But you're not gonna teach him anything, you understand me? Over my dead body."

"Oh. Well, you're right about that." Ruby smiled. I went towards her but suddenly Sam's arm was around me, holding me back.

"What you are gonna do is give me that knife. And then you can just go crawl back into whatever slop you came from and never bother me or my brother again. Are we clear?"

"Your brother is carrying a bomb inside of him and we'd be stupid not to use it."

"Dean, look, just hold on for one –" Sam tried.

"Sam! Don't. Come on man, what, are you blind? Can't you see that this is a trick?" Dean yelled angrily.

"That's not true." Ruby cooed.

"She wants you to give into this whole demonic psychic whatever, okay. I mean hell, she probably wants you to become her little anti-christ Super Star."

"I want Lilith dead. That's all." Ruby said just as angry as Dean now.

"Why?" Dean asked her.

"I've told you why!"

"Oh, right, yeah. Because you were human once and you liked kittens and long walks on the beach."

"You know, I am so sick of proving myself to you. You wanna save yourself, this is how. You dumb, spineless dick."

Dean suddenly swung and decked her in the face. Sam and I stood shocked, Ruby quickly reacted and they went to all out blows.

"Ruby, hey!" Sam yelled.

"That's it! She's fucking dead!" I said charging towards them, but Sam pulled me back.

"LET ME GO SAM!"

He pushed me away and approached Ruby, but she spun and punched him, he fell to the floor, holding his now bleeding mouth.

"Ah hell no bitch!" I charged her and jumped on her back, wailing hit after hit to the side of her face. She stood and slammed me backwards against the concrete wall. The blow took all the air out of my chest and I let go, sliding to the floor. I watched as she walked over to Dean and picked him up off the floor. He smiled, chuckling.

"The hell are you grinning at?" She asked him.

"Missing something?" He teased. He lifts her knife into the air. He takes a couple of steps back from her while she stood in shock and anger realizing she had been tricked so that Dean could get close enough to grab it.

"I'll kill you, you son of a bitch." She went to charge him, but was stopped by an invisible wall, she paused… then looked up to the devil's trap painted on the ceiling.

"Like I said..." Dean teased, walking over and pulling me up off the ground. "I knew you'd come."

Dean pulled me towards the staircase, Sam followed behind us.

"Wait! You're just gonna leave me here?"

"Let's go, Sam." Dean said putting a hand on his back, trailing us up the steps.

"Oh, oh you – so you're just too stupid to live, is that it? Then fine! You deserve hell! I wish I could be there, Dean. I wish I could smell the flesh sizzle off your bones! I WISH I COULD BE THERE TO HEAR YOU SCREAM!"

"I'm gonna fucking kill her." I mumbled to Sam as we reached the top of the stairs.

"And I wish you'd shut your pie hole, but we don't always get what we want." Dean said coming up the steps himself. I walked away from the door and towards the kitchen, still fighting to get my chest full of air again. I looked up to Judson, who was sipping a beer leaning against the counter.

"Nice job watching Dean." I said sarcastically, holding my stomach.

"Hey I watched him… watched him walk his pissed self right down to the basement."

"You're such an ass." I said as I jumped on the counter.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine… just gotta catch my breath. Bitch slammed me into the wall."

"That's what you get for not listening." Dean said charging into the room, Sam behind him.

"We're just gonna let Ruby rot down there?" Sam sighed.

"That's the idea." Dean smiled.

"I'm okay with that." I added.

"Dean, what if, uh... What if Ruby's right? What if I can take out Lilith?" Sam asked. Dean shot him a look I can't even put into words.

"Quit looking at me like that." Sam said.

"What, are you gonna give her the Carrie-stare and Lilith goes poof?"

"I don't know what Ruby meant. You know, maybe we should just go ask her."

"Sam, you wanted the knife – I got you the knife."

"Dean, just listen to me for a second. Last time Lilith snapped her fingers and put thirty demons on our ass, and all we got's one little knife? I mean, like you said, we go in smart or we don't go in at all."

"Well, this ain't smart."

"We got one shot at this, Dean. Just one. So if there's a sure-fire way then maybe we should just talk about it."

"No."

"De maybe he's right… look. We don't even have to involve Ruby. Let ME do it. You know I can take down a demon without a problem. I can take her out, I know it. Then Sam doesn't have to work with Ruby, you don't go to hell, and we all get what we want."

"No. I'm not putting you in that position again."

"What position Dean?! A little nose bleed? Who cares!"

"Em, just listen to him." Judson sighed.

"No! You two listen to me! I know these probably have something to do with yellow eyes which isn't promising when I think about where they came from, but if they can do good then why let them go to waste! I'm not like Sam. His are dormant or whatever, mine are HERE. I can use them!"

"Maybe we should let her try Dean." Sam agreed.

"Sam. We are not gonna make the same mistake all over again."

"You said that but what does it even mean?"

"Don't you see a pattern here? Dad's deal, my deal, now this? I mean every time one of us is – is – is up the creek the other is begging to sell their soul. That's all this is, man. Ruby's just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it's paved with and you know where it's going. I'm not letting you or Em fall into the trap! We use the knife."

"Dean. What do you think is gonna happen? This is me, I can handle it." I begged hopping off the counter top. Dean continued to shake his head no. Not looking at me. "And if it'll save you..."

"Why even risk it?" Dean interrupted.

"Because you're my brother. Because you did the same thing for me, De." I told him softly.

"I know... and look how that turned out."

"Dean we won't let that happen again." Sam said sitting across from him at the table.

"All I'm saying… Sammy, all I'm saying is that you two are my weak spot."

"You are. And I'm yours. All three of us default to saving each other EVERY time. Its where we mess up."

"De… We're… we're family." I said feeling my throat constrict.

"I know kiddo. And those evil sons of bitches know it too. I mean, what we'll do for each other, you know, how far we'll go? They're using it against us."

"So what? We just stop looking out for each other?" Sam asked.

"No, we stop being martyrs, man. We – we – we stop spreading it for these demons." He picked up Ruby's knife. "We take this knife, and we go after Lilith our way. The way Dad taught us to. And if we go down, then, uh... then we go down swinging."

I nodded, just happy that he's agreeing to go after Lilith.

"What do you think?" Dean asked to Sam and I.

"I think you totally should have been jamming "Eye of the Tiger" right there." Sam smiled. I chuckled.

"Oh, bite me. I totally rehearsed that speech, too."

"So, Indiana, huh?" Judson asked.

"Yeah, where Lilith's on shore-leave."

"Yeah, I guess." Sam added.

"Tell me something.. The hell's a demon do for fun?" Dean pondered out loud.

….

We all gathered our weapons and belongings, packing up the impala and preparing to leave.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bobby came out and asked, stopping us. He lifted a distributor cap in his hand, Dean shook his head and took it from Bobby.

"We got the knife." Dean smiled.

"And you intend to use it without me? Do I look like a ditchable prom-date to you?"

"No, Bobby. Of course not." Sam said.

"This is about us. Ok? This isn't your fight. You don't have to do this one." Dean said.

"The hell it isn't! Family don't end with blood, boy. Besides, you need me."

"We could use the help De…" I said squeamishly.

"You're playing wounded. Tell me, how many hallucinations have you had so far?" Bobby asked Dean. Sam and I looked up to Dean confused, his face fell.

"How'd you know?" He asked Bobby.

"Because that's what happens when you've got hellhounds on your butt. And because I'm smart."

"Bobby can ride with me. We'll follow." Judson offered, grabbing his bag out of the trunk.

"Don't be stopping to pee every ten minutes either." Bobby told us as he walked over to Judson's truck.

Judson went to walk away, but I jogged to catch him.

"Wait… be careful okay?"

"Of course." He smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"Thank you… for everything. For being here right now. Fighting a fight that isn't yours."

"I wouldn't leave you to do this alone. I meant it when I said I'm here to help you Em… that's all I want."

I stood on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his, his hand wound around my waist. Then he pulled away.

"Let's go save Dean." He winked before walking to the truck. I climbed in the impala and we took off.

The drive so far has been very quiet… probably quieter than most rides we've taken. I sat up front, situated between Sam and Dean, my arm linked in his, the other arm guiding the steering wheel.

"Hey, Dean?" Sam said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"You know if this doesn't uh... this doesn't go the way we want, I want you to know –"

My stomach dropped.

"No. No, no, no, no."

"No what?"

"No, you're not gonna bust out the misty good-bye speech, okay? And if this is my last day on earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward."

"You know what I do want?" Dean said after another moment of silence. He reached down and cranked "Wanted Dead or Alive" on the radio.

"Bon Jovi?" I asked surprised, almost laughing.

"Bon Jovi rocks, on occasion."

The three of us began to sing along.

" _And I walk these streets, A loaded six-string on my back, I play for keeps, Cause I might not make it back, I've been everywhere_ "

" _Oh yeah_ " Sam added loudly. I laughed out loud, Dean kept singing.

" _And I'm standing tall, I've seen a million faces, And I rocked 'em all"_

" _'Cause I'm a cowboy, On a steel horse I ride, I'm wanted…"_

"WANTED!" Sam shouted again.

" _Dead or Alive…. Dead or Alive."_

Dead or alive

After the song ended we took turns singing on and off to whatever song was playing, but suddenly flashing lights behind us caught our attention.

"We getting pulled over?" Sam asked surprised.

"I've got a busted tail-light. It's not like we're in a hurry or nothing." Dean sighed.

The cop took his time walking up to the window.

"Problem officer?" Dean smiled.

"Licence and registration, please."

"I could probably show him my tits and get us out of a ticket." I whispered to Sam. He elbowed me.

"Do you realise you have a tail-light out, Mr Hagard?" He says to Dean. Dean suddenly becomes very anxious. My hand subconsciously reached back for my gun.

"Yes… yes sir. Uh… you know I've been meaning to… take care of that. As a matter of fact..." Dean threw the door open and knocked the cop over, then he rushed out and began to fight with the officer, shoving the knife into his chest.

"DEAN!" I yelled. Another set of headlights pulled up behind us, Bobby and Judson came running towards us.

"What the hell happened?" Bobby asked.

"Dean just killed a demon. How'd you know?" Sam asked him.

"I just knew." Dean said breathing heavily. "I could see its face. Its real face under that one."

"So what, now you're seeing demons?" Sam asked.

"I've seen all kinds of things lately but... nothing like this."

"Actually it's not all that crazy." Judson added.

"How's it not that crazy?"

"Well you've got, just over five hours to go? You're piercing the veil, Dean. You're glimpsing the B side."

"A little less new age-y please."

"You're almost hell's bitch. So, you can see hell's other bitches." Bobby explained.

"Thank you." Dean smiled sarcastically.

"Well, actually it could come in pretty handy." Sam added.

"Oh, well, I'm glad my doomed soul is good for something."

"Damn right it is. Lilith's probably got demons stashed all over town. We can't let them sound the alarm. She knows we're here, we're dead before we're started." Bobby included.

"Well, this is a terrific plan. I'm excited to be a part of it. Can we go, please?" Dean asked.

I reached out and hugged him, he leaned against the impala while Sam and Bobby hid the cop car and body, then we got back on the road.

"Hey De…"

"Yeah kiddo?"

"Why didn't you tell us about the hallucinations?"

"I didn't want to worry you two more."

"De… you've always cared for me, it's my turn to help you. Let me help."

"I know Em, I just. I don't wanna throw more on your shoulders right now."

"We're gonna save you… it's gonna work. I know it."

"I hope so kiddo." He said as he kissed the top of my head. I leaned into him and tried to mentally prepare myself for the things to come.

For Lilith.

For hell hounds.

For what would be possibly the toughest fight of our life.

….

"It's the little girl. Her face is awful." Dean swallowed as he tipped down the binoculars. We were perched in the bushes on the outskirts of a very ritzy neighborhood. Seriously, Demons like to vaca in the suburbs?

"Alright then, let's go. We're wasting time." I said preparing to move, but Dean grabbed me by the shirt.

"Wait!" He whisper yelled.

"For what? For it to kill the rest of the people in that house?"

"Yeah, and us too if we're not careful. Look. See the real go-getter mailman on the clock at nine PM?" He said as he pointed at the mailman across the yard. "And Mr Rogers over there."

He handed me the binoculars and I guided me to look in the right direction.

"Demons?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Ok, fine. We – we – we – we, we ninja pass those guys, sneak in." Sam suggests. I handed the binoculars back to Dean and leaned back, into Judson.

"Then what? Give a "Columbian necktie" to a ten year old girl, come on!" Dean argued.

"Look, Dean, I know it's awful."

"You think?"

"This isn't just about saving you, Dean. This is about saving everybody."

"She's gotta be stopped, son." Bobby agreed.

"Oh, damn it." Dean sighed. "Fine… lets plan this right. We only got one shot."

Bobby and Dean began to discuss strategy, Sam watched our surroundings, and Judson pulled me aside.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" He whispered to me.

"We don't have a choice. We only have a few hours… not even. I have to be. We have to save him."

"Okay… hey listen, if things start going hairy in there you holler for me and I'll come running. Okay? Regardless of any plan. If you need me… I'm here."

"Judson." I said feeling the emotion I'd been shoving back try and creep its way up my throat. "What if it doesn't work."

"No, don't do that to yourself now. You've come this far. We still have a chance… don't doubt it all now."

I nodded rapidly trying to swallow back down the panic. He kissed me on the cheek and then we crept back behind Dean and Bobby. Time was ticking fast… too fast. We needed to move.

"Alright. Em. Stay with Bobby and Judson. Sam and I are going to go in first."

"No, De… I wanna be with you."

"Em. Do you remember when I said I didn't want you there if things go bad? This could go really bad. I don't want you in the middle of it."

"Dean I'm not just gonna take the sideline on this! Let me come with you, or I'll do it anyways and risk screwing up the plan."

"Fine!" He angrily whispered. "But if I say run, you run. Got it?"

"Yes… I promise." I said weakly.

Bobby and Judson took off in one direction, me and my brothers took off straight towards the house. We had to scale a few fences and dodge a few bushes, but we made it to the backyard, we were fixing to go in when all of a sudden a voice caused me to jump.

"I'd like my knife back." Ruby said shoving Dean against the fence.

"He doesn't have it. Take it easy." Sam said coming up behind her and placing the knife against her throat. She backed off from Dean, still facing him.

"How the hell did you get out?" I asked her.

"What you don't know about me could fill a book."

Dean's eyes suddenly go wide, then he moves to cover his eyes.

"Whoa." He breathed.

"What?"

"Nothing. I just – I couldn't see you before, but you're one ugly broad."

"Sam, give me the knife before you hurt yourself." She said turning back to Sam.

"You'll get it when this is over."

"It's already over. I gave you a way to save Dean, you shot me down. Now it's too late. He's dead. And I'm not gonna let you die too."

"Try and stop us, and I'll kill you. Bitch." I said stepping between her and Sam.

"Hit me with your best shot, baby."

I went to lift my hand but Dean grabbed it and pushed it down.

"Guys, guys! Hey. Have your little catfight later."

I pulled away and turned my head to the side… when I did I met black eyes across the street staring at us.

"Oh shit." I mumbled. Dean's gaze followed mine, then Sams.

"So much for the element of surprise." Dean groaned, they began to run towards us.

"Go. Go. Run. Run!" Sam yelled, we all bolted for the house Lilith was in, running for the porch, the more we ran the more demons popped out of nowhere, chasing after us. My heart was pumping, ready to beat out of my chest.

"What the hell is taking Bobby so long?" Dean yelled as Sam began trying to pick the lock, a herd of demons still running towards us.

"Hurry up Sam!" I yelled.

"I'm trying!"

Just as he finished his sentence the sprinkler system in the yard kicked on and showered the demons, they began screaming and ran back towards the street for relief.

"Holy water sprinkling system. Bobby is a fucking genius!" I smiled.

Finally Sam got the door open and we rushed inside. But when I closed the door behind me and turned everything in my body turned to ice. I was frozen where I stood.

"You think Lilith knows we're here?" Dean whispered.

"Probably." Ruby responded.

"Lets go." Sam said, everyone began to move but me. I was still taking in the shock of the scene before me.

"Em, what's wrong?" Dean asked coming back to me.

"De we have to leave!" I cried frantically.

"What?"

"We have to get out of here! Now! Please! Lets just go!"

"Emily what the hell is wrong?!"

"I-I .. We can run Dean! We'll just keep running!" I cried pulling him towards the door, but he stood his ground.

"Emily stop! What is wrong with you?!"

"It-it's the house! From my dreams!... every night! Every time! You die in this house! Please Dean! We have to go… please!"

"Emily we can't! This is our chance." Sam said kneeling down and resting his hands on my shoulders.

"They're gonna find us here!" I sobbed, begging for them to listen. "We have to run!"

"You should really consider listening to her." Ruby said.

"Shut up bitch!" Dean yelled, then he pulled me to the side away from her and Sam.

"Babygirl look at me… we can do this. Okay? Take a breath. We've got this. I promise. This is our chance! We can take this bitch down right here right now. We'll all leave together as soon as this is done. Then I-I'll take you to the beach. Okay? Like we always wanted. Okay?"

I reached my shaking hands up to push my hair back and nodded. Dean reached forward and I wrapped my arms around his neck. Squeezing tightly.

"De. Don't let go of me." I said taking his hand. "I don't want to separate."

"Okay kiddo. Lets go."

I let Dean lead me through the house, searching for Lilith. As we turned a corner we found the dad. Dean let go of me and quietly came up behind him, putting a hand across his mouth.

"We're here to help. Ok? I'm gonna move my hand, and we're gonna talk nice and quiet, okay?"

"Sir, where is your daughter?" Sam asked.

"It's not... it's not her anymore."

"Where is she?"

"Upstairs. In her bedroom."

"Okay, okay, okay. Listen to me. I want you to go downstairs to the basement. Put a line of salt at the door behind you. Do you understand me?" Dean told him.

"Not without my wife."

"Yes, without your wife."

"No."

I reached up and knocked him out in one punch… we don't have time for this right now.

"Was that necessary?" Dean asked as he picked the guy up and carried him to a safe spot.

We began to walk up the stairs, where we assume the bedrooms would be, trying to be as quiet as possible. Sam and Ruby took Lead. Dean and I trailed behind, checking rooms on the other side of the hallway.

Sam and Ruby enter a room, I nudged dean and pointed, we entered the room behind them, hearing a little girl begin to scream. Sam had the knife raised, preparing to stab her. Dean quickly let me go and reached for Sam's arm.

"It's not her!" Dean screamed. "It's not in the girl anymore."

"Mommy!" The little girl sobbed.

"Mommy's here. Mommy's here. It's okay." Her mom shushed her cries.

Dammit! Where the hell is she?

"Dean if she's not here then we have to go!"

"Give us a minute to figure this out." He said reassuringly. We led the family down to the basement. Meeting Bobby and Judson downstairs. I looked at Judson for only a second, but he instantly knew something was very wrong. He came towards me while Dean instructed the family to go downstairs- and stay there.

"Emily what's wrong?"

"It's the house! This is the house in my dreams… the one where I can't get to him." I cried.

"Are you sure?" He asked as he held me.

"Yes." I cried into his shoulder. "And now we can't find Lilith! She's not in the girl anymore!"

"Shhh… Its gonna be okay Em."

"Well, I hate to be a told you so." Ruby said loudly once the basement door was closed.

"Alright Ruby, where is she?" Sam demanded. I stepped away from Judson and back to Dean. Linking my hand in his.

"I don't know."

"Could she get past the sprinklers?" I asked.

"Her pay grade, she ain't sweating the holy water."

"Ok, you win. What do I have to do?" Sam said suddenly.

"Or me… I'll do whatever it takes." I said speaking up as well.

"What do you mean?" She asked Sam, completely ignoring me.

"To save Dean. What do you need me to do?"

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Dean said grabbing Sam and swinging him around.

"Just shut up for a second." He told Dean then faced Ruby. "Ruby! What do I have to do."

"You had your chance. You can't just flip a switch. We needed time."

"Well, there's gotta be something. There's gotta be some way, whatever it is, I'll do it."

Dean grabbed him again but Sam pulled back.

"Don't, Dean! I'm not gonna let you go to hell, Dean!" Sam yelled.

"Yes, you are!" Dean yelled back. I instantly got that bad feeling in my gut.

"Yes, you are." Dean repeated at a much lower volume. Then he looked to me. "You both are."

"No De!" I began to cry. I held onto him as tightly as I could while he spoke.

"I'm sorry. I mean this is all my fault, I know that. But what you're doing, it's not gonna save me. It's only gonna kill you. Its going to put the two of you in a bad place… I don't want either of you using any mojo. Period."

"Then, what am I supposed to do?" Sam asked, tears breaking through his voice.

"Keep fighting. Take care of our girl." Dean said as he rubbed my back. I continued to squeeze him as tightly as I could. "Take care of my wheels. Sam, remember what Dad taught you... okay?"

Then he pulled me back, but kept either hand on my shoulders, smiling sadly at me.

"You remember what I taught you. You keep an eye on the Brainiac over there, make sure he has fun every once in a while okay?"

Before I could respond the large grandfather clock in the room began to chime as it struck midnight.

Sam, Dean, and I all had tears running down our face, but Dean smiled at Sam. Then at me.

"No… no De we can run!" I begged, but he only held me tighter as I tried to fight to move.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy." Ruby said solemnly.

Dean suddenly went rigid.

"Hellhound." He whispered. I pulled back, my tears stopping as I kicked into fight or flight mode.

"Where?" Sam asked.

"There." Dean pointed to the corner of the room. Dean moved to run and we followed as we bolted down the hall and into a home office. Slamming the door behind us and pouring gofer dust over the doorway and windows. I looked around… Sam, Ruby, Dean, and myself… surely between the four of us we can find a way out of this. We have to.. maybe if we run. And just keep running…

My mind swam a thousand miles an hour, looking for any way out of this room.

(Third person's POV)

"Give me the knife, maybe I can fight it off." Ruby yelled.

"What?"

"Come on! That dust won't last forever!" Sam moved to hand her the knife, but Dean grabbed his arm.

"Wait!"

"You wanna die?" Ruby asked Dean.

"Sam, that's not Ruby. It's not Ruby Dean yelled. Before anyone could think to move and put together the thought that it was actually Lilith in the room with them Emily was thrown into the air and against the wall, as was Sam, and Dean was laid on top of a table in the room.

"How long you been in her?" Dean growled as he struggled to look up to her.

"Not long." She grinned. "But I like it. It's all grown up and pretty."

"And where's Ruby?" Sam asked.

"She was a very bad girl, so I sent her far, far away."

"You know, I should have seen it before... but you all look alike to me." Dean told her. Lilith ignored him and turned to Sam and Emily.

"Hello, Sam, Emily. I've wanted to meet you both for a very long time."

"Let us go Bitch! Or I'll fucking kill you!" Emily yelled to her. She walked forward and grabbed Emily's face. She tried to pull away, but her grip was too strong. Lilith laughed, then released her. Then she went to Sam, planting a kiss on his mouth as he struggled to get away.

"Your lips are soft." She chants as she let him go.

"Right, so you have me. Let my brother and sister go." Sam offered.

"Silly goose. You wanna bargain, you have to have something that I want. You don't."

"So, is this your big plan, huh? Drag me to hell. Kill Sam and Em. And then what? Become queen bitch?" Dean asked pulling the attention away from Sam and Emily.

"I don't have to answer to puppy chow." Lilith spat at Dean, she began to walk towards the door, holding the door handle while she smiled to Dean.

"Sic 'em, boy."

In one swift motion she opened the door, letting the hell hounds in. Emily began to scream in terror as they pulled Dean off the table, ripping shreds into his legs. Dean cried out in pain.

"No! Stop!" Sam yelled and begged as he struggled to fight against the force holding him to the wall. "STOP IT!"

Lilith watched with a smile on her face as the hellhound made its way up Dean's body, slashing into his stomach and chest.

"Dean! No!" Emily cried and screamed. She pulled and pulled, trying to free herself from the wall. The blood was gushing out of Dean in various places of his body… he neck, his leg, his chest. Every time his heart beat a gush of blood left him. His screams diminished as he struggled just to breathe.

"NO! De get up! Please!"

Emily realized Dean was truly dying, right before her eyes. The revelation triggered something dark, and all at once she closed her eyes and let out a blood curdling scream.

Every window in the house shattered, bursting outward. Bobby and Judson who were in the living room, fighting off Demons ducked for cover, knowing that something horrible was happening. The demons inside the house fled at the sound, taking refuge outside.

All at once Emily's body left the wall, but remained raised in the air as she screamed. Sam watched in terror and awe as a red glow formed around her. The hellhounds began to cry out in pain, the cries becoming distant as they fled the room.

Lilith stared in fear, losing her focus and letting Sam drop from the wall as well. He crawled towards Dean, who's body had nothing left to give. It laid still, bloody, and torn. His eyes glazed and dull.

Sam held his brother and cried.

Emily finally opened her eyes and her feet moved towards the ground. Once there the red haze around her faded and her gaze landed on her dead brother… then to Lilith.

"Back." Lilith said holding out her hand, backing away as Emily walked towards her. "I said, back."

"I don't think so bitch!" Emily growled venomously as she lifted her hand towards Lilith. Lilith fled the body in a black smoke and suddenly the Winchester siblings were left alone.

Emily turned back towards her brothers, then collapsed onto the floor.

"De… please!" She begged as held his face in her hands, begging for him to show any sign of life. Any sign of hope.

But there was nothing. She laid over on top of him and sobbed. Letting his blood stain her clothes, skin, and hair. She didn't care… her hands trembled as they raked across the large gaps in his skin,

Sam reached out and grabbed her, holding her tightly as they sobbed together.

"Dean..." Sam whimpered as he held onto his brother's limp arm.

"Sa-a-a-am." Emily sobbed. He held her and rocked them back and forth. "He-e's…" she couldn't get the words past her lips.

"I know sweetheart…" Sam cried. Holding her even tighter. After all… she was all he had left.

Bobby and Judson came running into the room, stopping at the doorway as the shock of the blood and shredded skin brought Bobby to instant tears.

"Dammit boy…" Bobby sighed. Fighting to hold back his own emotion. Watching as the other two of his three surrogate children mourned painfully.

Emily pulled back from Sam, looking up to Judson. His heart felt sharp pain at the look on her face, a look he dreaded. A look he knew was inevitable from the start… he'd never seen so much pain on one person's face.

Except maybe his own.

She simply shook her head and laid back over Dean's body, her ear placed where his heart used to beat. Blood and tears streaked down the side of her face as she silently begged to hear his steady heartbeat one last time.

She never thought silence could hurt that bad.

That the absence of sound could be blaring.

She couldn't stand it… so she began whispering in his ear.

" _Hey jude… don't make it bad."_

" _Take a sad song… and make it better."_


	62. Chapter 62

Author's note: Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to get this to you, especially with it being a shorter chapter… I will admit I had a really hard time writing it, especially the second half or so. I would begin to write and try to put myself in Emily's shoes and I would get this odd heavy feeling in my gut, so I tried to space my time out between writing and something I truly enjoyed- in this case it was OTH on Netflix and cuddling my dog. I really tried to make this chapter the best I could and expose Emily's grieving process fully, but I'm not sure if I'm happy with how it all turned out. I'd love to get some feedback on it, and to know if you guys would like it to proceed like this or if it was too much? There are some big things happening in the next chapter, the tides will definitely turn with the inevitable Sam disappearing act, but I want to make sure you guys get what you need out of the story as well, I feel like when you love a character and they die you have to grieve them or you're left feeling cheated (cough cough MCDREAMY! #ShondaRimesRuinsLives). I love you all so much, thank you so much for standing by me, and a special thanks to Ladysunshine6, ImBookObsessed, and Tabby793 for being supportive and letting me bounce thoughts/concerns off of you. The encouragement you ladies bring me is immeasurable. Another special thank you to those of you who I can always rely on to review and let me know I'm keeping you happy! Reviews are honestly the most motivating part of writing. Please know I am always open to PM with any of my readers and I'm always open to ideas. And I'm always open to talk if anyone needs someone. AKF. YANA. IAE. LYF.

Sorry for the long note, I'll let you get to the actual chapter now! Please read and REVIEW! I really want to know if this is the right way to go.

"Emily." Judson whispered. "Baby we have to leave."

His hand stroked against the side of my face, pulling the now blood matted hair back and trying to pin it behind my ear. The dried blood however made it all clump together, and it just continued to fall back against my face.

"Emily please." Judson asked again, after I ignored his first attempt.

"We can't." I said. My voice hoarse, my throat tight and sore.

"Baby please we have to go, there's more coming."

"I don't care."

I blinked away the water that blurred my vision.

I can't leave… we can't leave.

If we leave, then… then this isn't just another dream.

If his body leaves this house, then there's no chance I can wake up from all of it. I'll be stuck in this nightmare forever. And I can't live a life like this… I can't.

"Darlin. He's right, we can take Dean back home, okay?" Bobby said squatting next to me. I looked up to Sam, who was reluctant but nodded in agreement with Bobby.

"No, Sammy. Please… we have to wake up. Its not real we just have to wake up!" I cried, clutching onto Dean tattered shirt. Sam only looked away from me and began to cry again himself.

"Emily, this is real. I'm so sorry sweetheart. But you're not going to wake up this time." Judson explained to me with a soft voice, as if he knew the words he spoke were slowly shattering what little bit of me was still being held together.

"Please…" I whimpered. "I just want to wake up."

"I know Em, but Dean's gone… we have to get him and us out of here, okay?" Judson said as he scooped me up off the floor, holding me bridal style. I wrapped my arms around his neck and just cried as he carried me out of the room, I looked up to see Sam and Bobby lifting Dean's body, carrying him behind us.

"This wasn't supposed to happen." I cried into Judson's neck as he carried me down the hall.

"Just hold on Em, we're gonna get out of here, okay?"

"We should never have come here… he always dies here."

"Shhh, it's gonna be okay." He cooed as we made our way to the front door. When he opened it he suddenly stopped. I looked up to see why….

There were dozens of Demons. Standing in the yard. In the street. Standing everywhere in sight that the sprinklers didn't touch. Judson took two slow steps out onto the porch. Black eyes watched, but none of them moved. Knowing that we had to pass the sprinklers to get to the cars, and that there they could catch us.

"Bobby, we have a problem." Judson swallowed. Sam and Dean carefully set Dean down and stepped beside Judson and I.

"What the hell?" Bobby said shocked.

"Where did they all come from?" Sam asked.

"Lilith." I whispered. I moved my legs and motioned for Judson to set me down. He did, but kept his arm around my waist. I looked at the Demon standing at the edge of the drive way. His eyes pitch black. His smile taunting.

This was all their fault… Demons.

"You killed him!" I screamed! None of them moved. I pulled from Judson and walked down the steps.

"All of you! You kidnapped me and Sam, you turned Jake against us… you made the deal with my brother… you sent hell hounds after him! This is YOUR fault!" I screamed as I walked through the sprinklers. The demon at the end of the drive way readied himself for a fight, as I was almost out of the path of the sprinklers. So I waited… letting him think he had a chance.

"You BASTARDS!"

As I stepped away from the cover of the sprinklers my arm reached out and with it was a hazy red line, it immediately circled the demon that stood before me. I lifted, and so did his entire body. Slowly inch by inch leaving the ground. Then I twisted my hand slowly into a fist. He screamed… begging for mercy. Begging for the pain to stop.

The demons around us one at a time began to evacuate their vessels. But I didn't stop.

I squeezed, watching the blood pour from his eyes, his ears, and his mouth… until finally he stopped moving at all. I dropped my fist and with it his body fell to the concrete. The red smoke disappeared and everyone around us lay on the ground. Footsteps behind me grew louder. Closer.

"Emily… let's go. Okay?" Judson asked as he slowly put his hand on the small of my back. I stared down at the demon with hate. Malice… a craving for revenge.

I let Judson pull me towards baby and his truck, Sam and Bobby behind us with Dean. Judson led me to his truck but I pulled away.

"I want to ride with Dean."

"Okay… I'll follow."

Sam and Bobby laid Dean down across the backseat. I got in, letting his head rest in my lap. Mindlessly I ran my fingers through his short hair. Sam turned towards me, Bobby sat in the driver's seat and pulled out onto the road. I looked up to Sam, neither of us knew what to say… neither of us knew what would come next. So we sat in silence.

I remember how numb I felt when my daddy died… I wish I could feel so numb.

I wish I couldn't feel any of it at all.

Every time I blink and my eyes open again and fall on his cold face my heart bursts and falls into pieces in my gut all over again. So eventually I just closed my eyes… convincing myself it will hurt less if I didn't look.

"When we get home, I'll get things ready." Bobby mumbled.

"No." Sam said quickly. "We can't do that."

"Sam, we can't leave his body open for possession."

"I said no Bobby… we're not burning him."

The words hit my ears and all of a sudden I got the urge to puke. I swallowed it down, listening to Sam and Bobby bicker back and forth about what to do with Dean's body. I bent over, leaning my forehead against his.

Exhaustion.

Pain… so much pain.

It made me dizzy.

"Please pull over…" I mumbled, but they didn't hear me.

"Please!" I said a little louder. "Stop… pull over."

Bobby pulled the car to a stop. I popped open the door and crawled out, emptying what little was in my stomach. Heaving over and over again. Sam was at my side in seconds, holding my hair away from my face.

Once I finished I sat up and leaned against Baby. Sam and Bobby went back to discussing what to do with Dean's body… I covered my ears and rocked back and forth.

I can't listen to it anymore.

I can't burn him… I can't bury him…

I can't lose him. I just need him to wake up… please just WAKE UP!

"Emily." Judson called pulling my hands away from my ears. "Emily talk to me…"

"He wants to burn him… I-I-I can't! Not like Daddy… I-we. We can't do this, please!"

"Okay, okay… take a breath. I'll go talk to them. Okay?"

I nodded and tried to pull myself together… I scooted over and leaned against the open door. Looking up at Dean as he laid still in the backseat. I'd give anything for him to sit up, and tell me things were going to be okay.

But he didn't move… his eyes didn't open.

"Why did you leave me De?" I whispered, reaching up to hold his cold hand. "You were supposed to stay… You said you'd never leave me."

"Em, why don't you ride with me for a while, okay? Let Bobby and Sam finish their discussion on the way back. Okay?" Judson offered coming back.

"I don't wanna leave him."

"We're only a couple hours from home babe, I promise. They'll be right behind us, okay?"

"Judson… why did this happen to us?" I asked finally looking up to him.

"I don't know sweetheart. C'mon… let's get off the road okay?"

"I'm gonna go tell Sam."

"He knows, he said he'll meet us back at Bobby's."

"Okay." I sighed. I leaned into the backseat and kissed Dean on the forehead, then I reluctantly followed Judson back to his truck.

"Maybe you should try and get some sleep." He suggested a he pulled out onto the road. I watched out the back glass as the impala got smaller and smaller in my view, until it wasn't there at all.

"I can't. I feel like I'm just… moving. Like I'm here but I'm not really here… My body. Its just going through the motions."

"I know hun, its gonna get better."

"No its not… I feel like I died in that room too."

"No baby, look at me. YOU are still here! Dean dedicated his life to you and Sam so you could live! Don't waste that…"

"I just feel like I'm literally falling apart! Like I-I can't a grip on anything… I can't get my feet on the ground! Everything hurts…"

"Em you've been up for over a day… you're body is exhausted. Just. Lay down and try to rest, okay?"

I laid down on the seat… my head in Judson's lap as he drove quietly. He gently rubbed his fingertips up and down my back. I always found comfort in Judson, I always felt safe and happy. But even now, with his hands on me… I just want to crawl away.

I just want to be with Dean.

…

" _Dean! Where did you put my bag?" I called out to him. I dug through the motel room, but couldn't seem to find my bag._

" _In the closet kiddo." He called back. I jumped up and ran to the closet, opening it and finding my bag. I smiled as I pulled out the black bikini and slipped it on in the bathroom. I grabbed my white flip flops and one of Dean's old cut off shirts as a cover up._

" _Okay! Ready!" I chimed as I walked out into the kitchen area, Sam and Dean were both waiting and ready for me. I looked Dean up and down and laughed._

" _What?!" He asked me._

" _You are so white it's not even funny!"_

 _Sam snickered as Dean looked in the mirror at his pale body. His dark swim trunks didn't do much to help the situation either. He had sunglasses and a solid white sunscreen covered nose to top off the 'pale as fuck tourist' look._

" _Oh shut up… lets go!" Dean groaned walking towards the door. Sam and I laughed at his aggravation and followed him out of the condo and down the stairs to the beach. It was warm, and the breeze carried the smell of the ocean through the air… it was everything I ever thought it would be. And I was here with Sam and Dean. What more could I ask for?_

 _Sam and I laid out towels and moved to take off my shirt._

" _Whoa whoa whoa! Put that back on!" Dean said stepping over me and blocking out my sun._

" _De… it's a bathing suit. Not lingerie. Chill."_

" _I don't care what the tag says it is! Its too revealing, put the shirt back on."_

" _Dean!" I laughed. "We're at the beach! Take a look around… everyone here is wearing just as much if not less then what I am. Go flirt with those girls and get out of my sun." I said pushing his leg with my foot._

 _He scoffed until his eyes floated to the row of women down the beach from us… he was about to open his mouth and scold me some more but one of them caught his eye. He winked at me and put his sunglasses back on before trotting over to them._

 _"Think we should have told him that he still had sunscreen on his face?" Sam asked._

" _Nahhhh."_

 _We both laughed. I let the sun kiss my skin, warming me inside and out. I was totally relaxed and at ease… until water was dumped onto my body._

 _I jumped up and gasped. Dean stood above me but a bucket and a devious grin._

" _Oh you are so dead!" I jumped up running after him through the sand, he dodged me and went for the water. I followed him in and jumped on his back. Knocking us both down into the water._

" _Sammy! Help!" I called and giggled as Dean threw me over his shoulder and dumped me into the ocean again._

 _Sam ran into the water, and pulled me up, holding me above the water._

" _Dean, I think you lost this." He laughed as he threw me through the air towards Dean, who purposely let me fall into the water again._

" _Oops!" He laughed._

" _Oh I'm so getting you two for that!" I said as I splashed water at them._

 _I pushed forward, splashing them as they tried to flee. But suddenly the white and blue water took an odd color tint… then it faded into red. I stopped splashing and looked up to my brothers in confusion._

" _Dean…" I mumbled. His skin began to rip apart along his torso._

" _Dean! NO!"_

I jumped and felt myself tangled in something, in the midst of my thrashing I fell onto something hard. I tried to focus my vision in the dark, and as I looked around I recognized the window with faint moonlight shining through it.

I slowly untangled myself from the blankets, and scooted across the hardwood floor until my back sat against the wall. I caught my breath, realizing I was in my room at Bobby's.

"It was a dream…" I whispered. Realizing that I was back in the real nightmare. That the big death scene has already been played out…. And now I was living in the limbo of the aftermath. Not sure what's up and what's down. Waiting for it to all to hit me again.

I picked myself up off the floor and looked at the clock. 4am. I went to run my hands through my hair, but found it to still be knotted and matted. My hands still had spots of dried blood, my outer clothes had been stripped, but my tank top still had stains as well.

My stomach turned.

I immediately went to the bathroom and turned the water as hot as it would go, sinking down to the bottom of the tub. I watched as the water went from clear… to red… and then back to clear. All traces of Dean's death leaving my body.

There were knocks on the door, but I didn't answer.

"Em?" Judson's voice carried through the room as he pushed the door open, shutting it behind him. I sat under the flow of the water, my knees to my chest, covering the majority of my body. He slowly pulled open the curtain, then let it close again.

"When did you get up?" He asked softly.

"I don't know… I've been in here for a while." I said noting the water wasn't as warm as it first was.

"Are you ready to get out?"

"… I don't know." I sighed leaning my head against the tile. "Where is he?"

"Who babe?"

"Dean."

"Why don't you come downstairs, we'll explain everything together okay?"

There was something in the tone of his voice, something he didn't want to tell me. Something he was avoiding.

"…Sure." I said. Not wanting to give away my insight.

I stood and pulled the towel off the rack, wrapping it around my body. Then I pulled the curtain and stepped out, twisting my hair in my fingers. I looked up at Judson who was leaning against the wall. I could tell by the look on his face whatever he didn't want to tell was going to be difficult.

"I'll be down in a few minutes." I said, readjusting my towel.

"Okay." He half smiled, reaching up to kiss me, but I turned my face, letting him kiss my cheek instead. He sighed slightly, just enough for me to barely catch it.

He left the room and I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My skin was pale and dull. My eyes red and puffy. I looked away and ran my hands through the tangles in my hair, letting it cover part of my face. Then I dressed and began to walk down the stairs, once towards the bottom I could see the kitchen light on. Bobby, Sam and Judson all sat around the table. The sun had began to rise and shined through the window behind Sam's head.

Sam looked exhausted. His eyes puffy and red like mine… I could tell he hadn't slept, honestly I don't know how long I did sleep. Time hasn't had much meaning since that horrid clock in that horrid house struck midnight.

Time didn't matter anymore.

For the last year I'd counted every fucking second.

But now… none of it matters.

"How long have I been out?" I asked as I sat down across from Sam, keeping my eyes on him.

"About a day or so." Bobby said off to my left.

"So… where is Dean?"

"Emily, I. I want you to know that Dean and I talked about some things before he…." Sam started.

"Died." I finished stiffly for him.

"Yeah. Before he died." Sam sighed, I could see his emotions pushing to the surface, but he fought against them. "He uh, he knew how hard it was for you to say goodbye to Dad, and he made me promise that when we put him to rest you wouldn't be there."

"What?!"

"He didn't want you there Em. He didn't want you to see it."

My eyes stung and my throat clenched, I twisted my hands in my lap as I pulled my gaze to the table.

"So.. you're telling me, that you burned his body without me?" I whispered.

"No." Bobby said, I turned to look at him. "Sam insisted we bury him."

"Where is he?" I asked again.

"About a mile into the forest there was a clearing, at the spot on the road we stopped at. He's there…. Its marked with a cross." Sam said, barely forming the words.

"You just left him out there alone?!"

"Darlin we had to hide him somewhere that no one could find his body… they would find him if we took him home." Bobby explained.

"So you all planned this, you tricked me into leaving so you could bury him without me?" I said angrily. Looking between the three men at the table. None of them looked up to meet my eyes. None of them responded.

"Well. I hope you're all proud of yourselves. You sure fooled me." I said getting up from the table and storming out the back door. I don't know what hurt more, that I played the part of the fool like they all wanted me to, or that Dean was truly gone now… I couldn't touch him. See him. Hold him.

For the first time in a very long time… I felt truly alone. I felt betrayed by the people who were supposed to be my support system.

It was always Dean and I against the world… now it was just me.

I wondered out to the garage, the same garage that Dean was in for weeks rebuilding baby when Dad died. I raked my hand across the tools, took in the smell of motor oil.

"Em, can we talk?"

"About what Sam? About how Dean is dead! About how you buried him without me! You didn't let me say goodbye…" I sighed, turning to face him as he stood in the entrance.

"I'm so sorry… but I promised him." Sam said, a single tear falling down his cheek.

"I know." I said looking down. "I just wish you would have told me, not lied about it."

"You would've fought to stay, and I didn't have the heart to be able to tell you no."

"Sammy… what do we do?" I said as I broke down in tears. "It's like someone poured led into my heart, it feels so heavy. It hurts to breathe."

Sam instantly moved and wrapped his arms around me, holding me.

"I don't know Em… but whatever it is we'll do it together. Okay? Me and you."

I nodded between sobs. Sam and I sat together in the garage, watching as the sun grew brighter. It was odd… to see such a beautiful sky, and feel so horrible on the inside.

It was like I didn't belong here in this world anymore.

When I close my eyes I feel like the world around me is dark. That the clouds absorbed the sun and took it away from me… It rains, day in and day out. But when I open them again its bright… it's all wrong.

"Lets go inside… I have something for you." Sam finally said. I leaned against him as we wandered back into the house. I sat on the couch and Sam pulled out a small box, he handed it to me, and gave a weak smile.

"I'll be upstairs. I'm gonna take a nap. Come on up if you need me okay?"

"Thanks Sammy." I said as he kissed the top of my head. I leaned back and crossed my legs indian style as I pulled the blue ribbon on the top of the white plain box. I pulled off the lid and lost my breath. Inside was a beautiful small dream catcher. It was white and black with feathers of different shades of blues and purples. The beading and weaving was intricate and delicate. I lifted it and let the feathers rub against my hand.

Underneath the dream catcher was a folded piece of paper. I swallowed, realizing it was probably from Dean. I put the dream catcher back in the box and shut it, placing it on the table.

I just can't do it.

So instead I carried the box upstairs and tucked it into the drawer of my nightstand. Then I closed the curtains, pinning a blanket over the window to keep it dark in the room. I locked the door, and opened up the duffle bag in the floor. I pulled out Dean's dark blue button up and put it on over my tank top and shorts.

I crawled into bed and wrapped my arms around the pillow, wishing it could hug me back.

Wishing it could tell me everything would get better.

But it didn't… because it's not.

…

 **2 Days Later**

(Third Person POV)

"Emily! Open the door." Judson said as he pounded against it. Emily held her hands over her ears and rocked back and forth. Trying for force the air into her body, but she felt as if she just wasn't getting enough of it.

"S-a-a-am!" She gasped between syllables. Everything in her body felt tight and constricted… Convincing her that she couldn't breathe. She couldn't move. The horror of being trapped in your own body.

"Emily!" Judson yelled again. He began twisting the knob, a series of clicking noises followed, and then he was on the floor and in her face, pulling at her hands, her arms.

"No! no no no… leave me alone! SAM!" She cried, with eyes clenched shut, her fingers gripped into her hair, she tried to block out the world around her, tried to pretend she was somewhere else.

"Emily stop! It's okay, he'll be right back! He's coming back." Judson said as he pried her hands away from her ears. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked up at him.

"Where's Sam?! I-I gotta find Sam!"

"Emily he's just down the road, okay? Come here." He pulled her against him and tried to calm her, but she still gasped for air as if her chest was paralyzed and couldn't expand her lungs.

"Shhh… breathe babe, Breathe."

"Sa-a-m. Is he g-one?!"

"He'll be right back sweetheart, I promise."

"Emily?" Sam's voice called from down the hallway.

"Sam!" She yelled, his paced quickened as he ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, finding Emily in pieces, and Judson frantic to calm her down.

"What the hell happened?" Sam demanded as Emily tore away from Judson and into Sam's arms. He held her and whispered to her, calming her slowly, for the first time.

"She woke up and you were gone… she panicked I guess?" Judson sighed as he pushed past them and out of the bedroom. His frustration with not being able to help her was at an all time high… for the last couple of day's she has attached herself to Sam's hip. Refusing to let him leave her sight for more than a few minutes.

This morning in the wake of yet another dream, she woke to find Sam missing from the house. When Judson found her she was too far gone for him to pull her back. He hated it… he hated that he didn't understand how to help her. He hated that she was so reliant on other people.

He hated to watch her go through the same pain he went through, it drug up horrible memories.

Memories of him burying Olivia and his parents side by side in the church cemetery.

Memories of the drinking… the dark shadow that constantly hung over him. An act of God pulled him back into the light… and now he wanted to be that light for Emily, but she wouldn't let him in.

She'd barely said two words to him since Dean's death. She'd pulled back, pushing him further and further away by the day.

All he wanted to do was save her, but he couldn't even get close.

(Emily's POV)

"S-s-sam." I sniffled. "I thought you were gone."

"No Em, I'm right here… I'm not going anywhere kiddo. I'm here."

"It hurts so bad! Every day!" I cried.

"I know Em… Me too."

"Sammy… I wanna go see him."

"Okay. I'll take you." Sam said pulling away from me and wiping my eyes. "You gotta dry these up kiddo, you're breaking my heart here."

"I'm sorry. I just… I thought you were gone too."

"I'm here Em."

"I miss him so much Sammy… I feel like every day is harder than the one before it. I-I have these dreams where he's alive, and we're all happy… and then he just starts bleeding."

"I know kiddo… I miss him too."

…..

I walked up to Baby… I hadn't laid eyes on her in days. I stood staring at her from the back. Afraid to see the blood in the backseat. Afraid of the blood that would stain the interior Dean always obsessed over keeping clean.

A small part of me hoped there would be some though… a reminder of him. A part of him.

I let my hand drag across her midnight black exterior as I took in a deep breath and walked to the side… No blood. Bobby or Judson must have scrubbed it clean the night we got home, there's no way day old blood stains would come out of that.

I opened the door and slid into the driver's seat. Letting my hands skim across the steering wheel ridges. Closing my eyes I breathed in deeply and took in the scent… leather and cologne. Maybe a little motor oil.

Dean.

I felt like my entire body was made of this thin layer of glass. And every time Dean came to mind it shattered… over and over and over again. It hurts so bad. I physically get the urge to vomit and my heart feels sharp pains.

"How did we get here Baby?" I whispered as I leaned my head against the wheel.

"Ready to go?" Sam's voice carried from the outside of the car.

"Yeah sure." I said moving to scoot over.

"You wanna drive?" He asked carefully from the open door.

"Uh.. I… Yeah. I think so." I finally decided.

"Okay." He half smiled. I could tell he was trying so hard to play it off like he was holding it together, but I could see it in his eyes. He was just as lost as I was right now… but at least we were lost together.

The keys felt strange in my hands… like somehow they carried this responsibility. The responsibility to care for Baby in Dean's absence.

I turned them and Baby roared to life, a sound that I've known and loved for so long… it was comforting really. As we pulled out onto the road it was quiet. I don't think either Sam or I had the heart to turn on the radio right now… we knew it was on some classic rock station.

And I knew that no matter what song is playing… Dean would know it. And the sound of him singing along would float through my head.

So we rode in silence… down the familiar roads, until they became unfamiliar. I guess at some point I had fallen asleep on the way home, and Sam had to point me in the right direction a few times.

Eventually my stomach started to sink.

I could tell we were close.

"Slow down about a mile ahead, there should be a trail that leads into the woods." Sam said quietly, coughing to clear his voice.

"Okay." I mumbled.

I pulled forward slowly, hazard lights on even though no one else was around, and the car crawled to a stop. I turned off the engine and unbuckled, but I didn't move to get out.

"Are you sure you wanna do this Em?" Sam asked noting my hesitancy.

"I have to."

"Not today…"

"Waiting won't make it any easier."

"I know… I just. I don't know."

"Sammy."

"Yeah."

"What do you think they're doing to him?" I asked through tears.

"I try not to think about it…"

"Yeah, and how's that working for you?" I laughed humorlessly.

"… It's not."

"Me either." I sighed. "Sam, do you mind If I go down there alone?"

"No sweetheart, I don't… Just. I'll be here. When you're ready. Call me if you can't find it."

"Thank you." I said trying to bite back more tears. I leaned up and wrapped my arms around him, a few sobs shook my body before I inhaled sharply and released. Attempting to gain some sort of composure before I get there.

I finally got the nerve to open the door and get out, and I knew from there that there was no turning back. So I put one foot in front of the other, again, and again, and again.

Until a break in the trees caused me to pause. The clearing couldn't be more than 10 feet away from me… but I couldn't push myself to take another step. I don't know if I can take forcing myself to see it. To truly accept the fact that he's gone.

I turned and leaned against a tree, puking what little bit of food I had consumed over the last day or so… and trust me, it wasn't much. But it didn't matter now, because my stomach was empty again.

I was empty.

Its like beyond that glass casing I'm made of these days is nothing… hollow. Like my heart disconnected from the rest of me. How do you even begin to fix something like this?

How do you wake up every day and live?

I pushed off from the tree and turned back towards the clearing, forcing myself to take things one step at a time. As the tree line finally broke I could see fresh dirt, a cross in front of it. I swallowed, and pushed my body forward.

I walked until I was toe to toe with the edge of the dirt pile, I looked at the ground and could still make out boot prints, and marks where the shovel had been thrusted through the dirt. On the cross was a small bit of leather, holding it together in the middle.

Simple.

Small.

Final…

Everything about this, was like facing the end. The end of everything I understood my life to be. The end of everything I knew.

Everything from this point on would be different, and new, and if I'm being honest with myself absolutely fucking terrifying.

Dean is dead.

Not pretend dead.

Not almost dead.

Not dead but saved by a miracle dead.

He's actually… dead.

I don't really think I understood the weight of the word until it held enough meaning to smother me. Like every time I said it I was being forced to swallow a giant pill, blocking the air from getting into my lungs.

"De… It wasn't supposed to be like this." I whispered as I sat in front of the dirt pile. I pulled my fingers through the loose dirt on the top, it was cold and damp.

A small breeze of wind passed through the clearing and glided against my cheek, ruffling my hair. I closed my eyes and pretended it was the warm breeze from the ocean, that my fingers were dangling in the sand.

But when it was gone, so was the place in my mind.

So was Dean.

"Pl-lease c-come back…" I sobbed laying on the ground. "I-I-I need y-you De! Ple-ease…"

"Why-y did yo-ou make t-the deal?! We c-could have f-f-found another w-way… I-I could have s-saved you!"

I laid there for who knows how long… until suddenly I wasn't alone.

Sam picked me up and carried me back to the car… I sobbed embarrassingly the entire mile back, unable to stop myself. Unable to feel like there was an end to this in sight. Once there Sam set me down and leaned against baby.

He held me, he whispered in my ear for me to breathe slowly, holding it to re-inflate my lungs. He promised me we would be okay. He promised me it wouldn't hurt this bad for long… he promised me we would be together.

But something in his voice was so hollow. As if he said them only because he knew he was supposed to, not because he knew they were true. He said them because he had to be the strong one, not because he felt that way.

He was trying to be for me what Dean was for us both… the leader. The big brother. The hero.

He was trying to fix it…

But this time I don't think it can be fixed.


	63. Chapter 63

Author's Note: Hey lovelies! SO… I have news. I'M GOING TO HOUSCON! I'm FUCKING excited about it too! I have a silver pass, and a photo op with both boys! Hopefully more to come over the next six months! But at least I got them both before they sold out! If any of you will be there then I'd LOVE to meet you! Just PM me! Alsoooo… this chapter was much easier to write than the last. We're definitely going to see a mood shift here. Definitely going to slip down the slippery slope a little. Be patient. Things will get better… but not till they get worse. You know Winchesters go hard when they go bad. Love you all! Thank you for reading and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! It means so much to me to hear what you have to say!

PS. There's a little 'easter egg' in here. Just because I love Jared's newest campaign.

"Another." I said as I popped the shot glass down on the bar. The tequila burned the entire way down, but I liked it. I liked how it numbed me.

"You should slow it down kid. You've had a few already."

"You get paid to pour drinks… so do your fucking job and get me another." I said without bothering to look up at the older woman on the other side of the counter top.

She let a sound between a scoff and a laugh. Then she slid me the bottle.

"That'll be $89.99. Take it and get the hell out of my bar."

I pulled out a one hundred dollar bill and left it on the counter, then I took the mostly full bottle and stumbled my way out to the impala parked at the back of the lot. I leaned the seat back and popped my feet up on the dashboard. The radio played as I tipped the bottle upwards and let the alcohol drown me.

I reached up with my foot and dangled the dream catcher from the rearview mirror. Letting the beads catch the light from street lamps.

I sat like that for a while, until knocks on the window caused me to jump. I turned and found a small group of guys smiling and laughing.

"Hey beautiful! Why don't you open up and we'll join you in there!" One of them called out through the barely cracked windows.

I flipped him the bird and took another drink.

"Oh I'll let you fuck me all night long you dirty little girl." Another cheered, getting an excited laugh out of all of his buddies. I reached into the glove compartment and pulled out my gun, cocking it and placing it against the window directly pointed at his forehead.

They all slowly began to back away.

"Lets get outta here dude!" One called from the back of the group. Soon they were all out of my sight.

Just me and the tequila. And all the thoughts that I'm trying to drown out.

"How the hell did we get here Emily…" I mumbled out loud. I reached into the backseat and into my bag, grabbing out my small makeup bag and pulling out the pill bottle. I put one in the back of my mouth and used a gush of tequila to swallow it down. Then I popped the lid back on the bottle and laid down in the seat, waiting for the numbing sleep to overtake me.

 **Two Weeks Earlier**

"Sammy." I whispered in the middle of the movie. "Why do you think Dean liked this movie so much?"

I turned back up to the screen and watched as Arnold Schwarzenegger robotically walked down the hall, chasing the woman in the movie as she ran for her life. Sam and I had spent the last few days watching all of Dean's favorite movies. Most I had seen, but some I hadn't… I always tried to sit and find what he loved so much about them, but this one I just didn't get… I guess I'm not much of a Terminator fan.

"He thought Arnold was a badass… he was a totally nerd when it came to this movie. He knew everything about it, he could recite this movie word for word."

I sighed as I leaned into Sam's side, pulling a blanket up over me. Sam put a pillow in his lap for me to lay down on comfortably.

"Sammy… when does it get easier?"

The all too familiar heaviness pulled at me again. Like a weight tied around my chest, and someone just keeps adding to it.

"I don't know kiddo. I'm waiting to figure that out."

"Every time I think about him being down there it makes me sick… it makes me feel guilty. Like I didn't do enough to save him."

"Em you shouldn't feel guilty… you did everything you could have. If anyone should be guilty it's me. It's my fault he made the deal."

"No its not… Jake got the jump on you. I should have caught on to what he was doing when he left the cabin. I should have followed him."

"What was it like… when I died."

"This." I whispered. "Dean and I took your body to an abandoned cabin not far from the town. Laid you on that old bed, and for three days we just sat there… I cried for hours. Dean barely said a word. Sometimes he wouldn't let me go… other times I could tell he wanted to be alone. It literally killed everything inside of him that he couldn't keep you safe."

"Kinda unfair… seeing as how that's how we feel now." Sam mumbled.

"Sam… I want him back." Tears slipped down my cheeks, onto the pillow. One after the other, a steady stream. Sometimes I wonder how my body has anything left… its been a week since he's died and I have cried myself to sleep every day. I cry every time I think about where he is… what they're doing to him.

"Me too Em." Sam said slowly. I turned to look up at him. "I don't know… I just. I feel like I gotta do something Em. I gotta do something…"

"So what do we do?"

"I don't know yet… I'm trying to figure that out."

"But we'll do it together right?"

"Together." Sam smiled slightly. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him. Praying that we find something… anything.

"Have you talked to Bobby today?" I asked.

"No. I just wasn't in the mood ya know? I know he's trying his best to get us through this, but I don't know what he could do to make this any easier."

"Yeah. I know." I whispered. Thinking about how I've hardly said a word to Judson all week… how I've almost avoided him. Clung to Sam and pushed him and Bobby off to the side.

We sat and watched the rest of the movie in painful silence. Just clinging to one another. I was almost dozed off when Sam reached up and shut the TV off.

"Why don't you try and get some sleep… Okay?"

"Yeah." I said slowly getting up and going up the stairs. I went to open the door to my room, but a voice caught my attention.

"Hey." Judson said softly coming down the hall.

"Hi." I whispered back.

"Going to bed?" He asked.

"Yeah…" I sighed. I could see the disappointment in his face, and part of me felt guilty for ignoring him.

"Wanna join me?" I asked softly. The look on his face was surprised, but he nodded. I pushed open the door and he followed me in. I changed into some shorts and one of Dean's old shirts. Judson slid off his shirt and was left in his sweat pants. He laid down first and pulled the cover back, making a spot for me to slide in against him.

At first I was hesitant, but the moment my body slid against his, it all felt familiar.

It was warm, it was comforting. I pushed myself against him, his leg fell over mine, locking me there. I buried my face into the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent.

"I missed this." He whispered as he pulled his hand through my hair.

"I'm sorry… I've just needed time with Sam." I said back.

"I know sweetheart. Its okay… I just worry about you. How are you holding up?"

"I'm not." I whispered. "Sam's holding us both up… I feel like I'm just gonna hit the floor every time I'm not with him."

Judson tightened his grip slightly, a small attempt at reassurance.

"Judson. Have you ever heard of anyone escaping from hell?" Everything in me stood on pins and needles waiting on his answer. I know it sounds crazy… but there's gotta be a way right? I've been too afraid to mention the words out loud to Sam… afraid that I'd be shut down. But. I had to get the words out. I had to know if I was truly losing my mind.

"Emily." He sighed. "I don't know if that's possible. I mean that's bringing someone back form the dead. Not even Demon deals can do that. Don't you think that if it was possible we would have heard of someone doing it by now?"

"My daddy got out… he didn't come back. But his soul got out of hell."

"Emily. I just. I want you to be realistic, okay? I'll help you any way I can, but I don't want this to be a repeat of you trying to save Dean. And he wouldn't want that either."

"I just feel like I have to do something." I cried, my shoulders shaking. Judson held me a little tighter.

"I know sweetheart… I know it hurts."

"I can't live knowing that he's down there! Not knowing what they're doing to him…"

"Emily you can't think about stuff like that. It'll haunt you."

"I can't help it, every time I close my eyes it's all I see. I can't just leave him down there."

"Em I really don't think this is a good id-"

"If it was Olivia what would you do." I whispered. He froze. Slowly he moved again, pulling us apart so he could look at my face. His thumb rubbed against my cheek, wiping tears as he went.

"Okay… we'll look into it. But promise me something."

"What?"

"If this doesn't work… you have to move on. I didn't know Dean well, but I knew him well enough to know that he would hate to think he gave his life for you and Sam not to live your own lives and be happy. You can't let this consume you. Dean made this choice for a reason. Don't disrespect it by spending the rest of yours trying to reverse it."

"Okay… I promise." I whispered. Judson leaned down and slowly kissed my forehead. Everything in me felt like it would come apart if his arms weren't holding me together right now. Everything in me felt the strain of trying to breathe with no oxygen.

"I miss him so much." I cried again. "Everything in my body hurts every time I think about him."

"I know sweetheart. It'll stop one day. I promise."

"When?"

"Not for a while, but it gets easier."

"I don't think it does." I whispered back.

"I'm here baby… I'll get you through this."

I tightened my grip around him, and he copied my moves. I hoped that if I buried myself deep enough in him that I would get that feeling of forgetting the world around us. That it would be like old times… but. Its not. At least not right now. It still makes me want to fall apart just thinking about the pain Dean could be in right now.

It still churns my stomach knowing that I let him die.

It still hurts.

Everything… just hurts.

…..

"Em! Breakfast." Sam's voice called on the other side of the door, causing me to jerk awake.

"Okay." I called back. As I shuffled, so did Judson. I hadn't realized we had fallen asleep together… but I do know that I slept better than I have all week.

I still saw Dean.

I still woke up remembering he's gone.

I still woke up to the pain.

But I was actually able to sleep for a few hours without feeling like I wish I was dead too.

"Is Sam gonna be mad if he sees me in here?" Judson asked as he nuzzled his nose against mine.

"I don't know." I admitted. "I'm not sure anything would really make him mad right now."

"Yeah… are you hungry?"

I shook my head.

"You should really eat Em, even if you're not hungry. Just give your body something to work off of."

"I know." I sighed. "The sight of food just kinda makes me wanna be sick."

"C'mon, let's go downstairs. Sam's probably waiting on you."

Judson pulled me out of the bed and slid on a shirt before he led me down the steps. Once we entered the kitchen Bobby was at the table with the paper and a cup of coffee. He gave us an odd look for a moment, but didn't let it linger.

I walked up to Sam, who was facing the stove. I wrapped my arms around him from behind, squeezing him before letting go and sitting at the table. I could tell Sam was really trying… for me. For him… maybe for us both. He slid some food onto the plate in front of me. I sat quietly as everyone else got theirs and pushed things around with my fork.

I stared down the food on the plate like it was another challenge to face for the day.

It's like everything is a challenge now.

Nothing's simple anymore. Nothings just… part of the day.

Everything is something you have to force yourself to get up and do.

But you do it…

So I push the prongs on the fork into the food and lifted a small piece to my mouth, then another… a few more for the sake of Sam who was trying so hard. But when I felt like the vomit was ready to push its way up I stood from the table and carefully began to wash the dishes I had used.

"I'll take care of those darling, why don't you get out and get some fresh air. You've been cooped up in here all week." Bobby said coming up beside me, resting a hand on my shoulder. I tried to smile and nod. Then I handed him the plate and walked out the back door.

"I'll come with." Sam offered, standing and also placing his dish in the sink. I held the door until Sam was close enough to catch it himself. I stopped and waited for him.

"Where to now?"

"Hide and seek?" He half laughed. I chuckled for a moment.

"Dean used to love that game… I always tried so hard to find him. I never could though." I mumbled.

"Yeah, he did… Did he ever show you the spot above the shed? He used to hide from you up there all the time."

"No."

"C'mon. I'll show you." Sam smiled bumping me and leading us over to Bobby's old garage. The same one I stared at from my window. Sam pushed me towards the back corner where there was some old wooden steps, if you climbed them all the way to the top, they took you to a window, which took you to the roof. I laughed as Sam pulled me up to the top and I looked out over the entire salvage yard.

"So he could always keep an eye on me, but I could never find him."

"Yeah. Pretty much. We'd watch you run circles around cars out there. You'd get this excited look on your face when you were sure you found him, but when he wasn't there your entire body would slump, and we'd almost feel bad."

"Assholes." I half laughed.

"Em… I'm gonna find her. Lilith. I'm gonna kill her… I'm gonna find a way to get him back." Sam suddenly said with a tone of determination.

"Think we can do it? Get him back…"

"I'm not gonna stop trying till I do."

"You think Lilith will bring him back?"

"No. Not really… but I'm gonna kill her. Then I'm going to get him back."

"I don't care about Lilith. I just want Dean back."

"How can you not care about Lilith?! She killed him Emily."

I was taken back by his sudden increase in anger.

"I know that Sam, and I want her dead too… but I can deal with that after we get Dean back." I explained quietly.

He shook his head at me… I don't understand?

Why is he mad at me?... Why is it bad that I want Dean back more than I want her dead? I mean… I want her head on a platter as badly as Sam does. But… Dean takes precedence here.

Right?

"I'm sorry." I mumbled. Not even really sure what I was apologizing for. I slid over next to him and linked my arm in his, leaning on his shoulder as we watched the sun grow higher in the sky, the earth beneath it come to life as the morning went on.

Eventually we climbed back down and went back inside… Sam went to shower, and I sat down in front of Bobby's TV, looking through the stack of movies we'd gone through over the last few days.

"I don't get it De." I whispered as I ran my hands across the case for Terminator. "Arnolds cool, but not that cool… maybe you should come back and explain it to me."

I half chuckled, half cried, as I imagined him going into a long animated explanation as to why Arnold was such a badass, and why he loved this movie so much. The way his eyes would go wide and this huge smile would come across his face. He'd use his arms and hands to emphasize his points, and jump up and down to convince me of his point.

"Hey. You okay?" Judson asked as he entered the room.

"Fine." I sniffled as I reached up to clean my face. I pushed the movies back into the entertainment center and stood, trying to take a deep breath.

"You don't have to fake it around me Em."

I nodded slightly and leaned into him, wishing he was Dean instead.

Does that make me a horrible person?

Would I care if it did?

…

(Sam's POV)

I wandered into the living room, where Emily and Judson had fallen asleep on the couch. I would normally separate them, but honestly I'm just happy she's sleeping. So for now I turned towards the staircase and left them be.

"Goodnight Bobby." I called as I passed his study.

"G'night boy."

I could tell Bobby was missing Dean too. He's always cared for us, but in that gruff annoyed way… he was being too nice. He was as down as the rest of us these days, no matter how much whiskey he drank.

I sighed as I closed the bedroom door behind me.

"Wow. You look like hell, and trust me I would know."

I froze at the voice behind me. Chills ran down my spine.

"What are you doing here Ruby?" I asked without turning to face her.

"I just thought I'd stop in and see how you're doing without the chump."

"Do you have a death wish or something? I mean… I tell Em you're here and we'll all be cleaning this meat suit's guts off the walls." I said walking up to her.

"Easy boy." She teased. "I'm here to make peace."

"Really? Why don't you explain to me how the hell Lilith ambushed us in YOUR meat suit? Huh?"

"That wasn't my choice Sam. You know she's more powerful than me."

"Sure. I'll buy that." I nodded, pulling a vial of holy water out of my bag. "Then again… maybe I won't."

I turned and pinned her to the wall, dripping the holy water against her cheek, watching her flinch as it sizzled.

"Tell me or die… what the hell are you doing here?" I repeated.

"I-I can help you find her."

"Who?"

"You know who, Sam… you want her dead. I can help you. I can show you how to kill her."

"How?" I asked releasing her, taking a step backwards.

"Its gonna take some time to get you ready, and you've gotta want it. Bad."

"What do I have to do?"

"You have to be willing to do what it takes… give me a chance to show you how powerful you can be Sam. You can beat her. YOU can get revenge for Dean. Hell… maybe you can get him back one day. I mean, your power could be limitless with the right resources."

"Fine… What about Emily?"

"No. I can't work with her… I don't know her power's source like I do yours."

"You know where they come from?"

"And so do you…"

"No I don-"

"Don't lie to me Sam, it's not a show of good faith for things to come. I know you know about the demon blood. YOU have a purpose. You were given this gift for a reason Sam, yellow eyes knew what you could become. Let me help you."

"I can't just leave her here."

"Fine. I guess I'll be going then." She said as she began to stalk towards the open window.

"Wait!"

I paused as she turned around.

"We could use her help. She's strong, and you know it. I'll help her get it under control."

"She's unpredictable. Sloppy. Hotheaded. You saw what she did back at that house… how the demons fled in her presence. We can't have that kind of bomb following us around, you and I both know she's completely unstable. We have a chance to do this Sam, for Dean… She'll be okay. She has the boy and the old man. It's not like we'll be gone forever. Just until you're ready."

But the point is I'll be gone… again.

"How long will that take?"

"That's up to you."

I shoved my palms against my eyes and drilled the thought of leaving Emily again into my head… would she ever forgive me?

But what about Dean…

"He died for you Sam." Ruby whispered, as if reading my mind. "He died because of you."

"Shut up…"

"This is your chance to make it right. This is your chance to get your revenge, for you… for your sister. Do this FOR her."

"Shut up!" I yelled and she got quiet. "What are they doing to him down there?"

"You don't want to know Sam…"

"I asked you a question."

"And I'm telling you that even I won't have telling you that information on my conscience. Does that answer your question? The choice is yours Sam. But don't expect me to wait long for an answer… I'll be gone by morning."

I leaned my head against the wall, listening to her disappear out the window.

What do I do…

What do I do…

Dammit!

Everything in my head swam, the worst outcomes, the best outcomes. The pros. The cons. The possibilities. But at the bottom of it all… killing Lilith.

The thought of her boiled the blood in my veins.

I could kill her…

I will. Kill her.

…..

(Emily's POV)

Rustling in the room woke me up. I realized that Judson and I were on the couch, but somebody else was in the kitchen. It sounded too noisy to be Bobby. I carefully pulled away from Judson, he didn't wake, and then I tip toed into the light.

"Sam?"

He turned quickly, a bottle of almost empty whiskey in his hand, he had been crying… he looked like shit.

"Sammy what are you doing?" I whispered walking towards him.

"I-I don't know what to do!" He rambled over and over again.

I felt my heart began to crumble again… I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around him, holding him. Letting him hold me. But suddenly he pushed me back and walked away, tipping the bottle against his mouth.

"Sammy where are you going?"

He ignored me and stormed out the door, grabbing the keys to the impala off the counter.

"Sam!" I yelled chasing after him. "Sam stop!"

I caught up to him and pulled his arm, he ripped it away and turned to face me.

"He's DEAD! Don't you get it Emily?! He's in hell!" His words cut like knives through my soul… I already knew these things… but to hear them come out of Sam's mouth like that was a whole new level of pain.

"Can we just go back inside?" I whispered, biting back tears.

"NO! No we can't just go back in there and mope around and not do shit! I'm tired of just moping around in this old house with you! I'm tired of trying to make sense of all this! IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

"Okay." I shrinked back as he yelled in my face. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?! Huh! Why do you keep saying that! What have you ever done to be sorry!"

"I don't know!" I yelled back.

He went to storm off but I reached out and grabbed him again.

"Quit walking away from me!"

"What the hell do you want from me?! Huh! You think I can fix this? WELL I CAN'T! Not like this…"

"Where are you going!"

"I'm leaving! Okay?! I'm going to find a way to kill her. I'm gonna make this right!"

"I'll go with you, you can't drive like this anyways." I said jogging to catch up with him.

"No, you won't! You can't… just. Stay here!"

"Why?!"

"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"

He continued to stalk off towards the impala.

"You can't do this to me! SAM!" I screamed feeling tears well I my eyes.

"I've done it before and I'll do it again!" He yelled.

I froze. It was like he stabbed me in the gut… he HAS done it before. And then he promised he'd never do it again… yet here we are. Here I stand watching him walk away from me. Watching him leave me.

CHOOSING to leave me.

Everything in me that was just shattered swirled and burst into anger.

"YOU BASTARD!" I ran towards him and shoved him from behind, causing him to stumble, he turned back towards me. "How could you do this! How could you leave me here alone! YOU PROMISED YOU'D NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN! You promised Dean you'd be here!"

"I KNOW! Okay, I'm sorry but I can't do this! I have to go!"

"Then take me with you!"

"I can't Emily! Dammit!"

"I wish he never brought you back." I whispered. Watching the words hit him. Watching his face contort in the same pain I felt on the inside. He shook his head and went to walk away form me… just like that. Not a word.

Well if he was leaving he wasn't taking Baby with him. I reached down and yanked the keys from his hand. He turned and went to pull them away from me but I stepped back.

"I wish he was here instead of you." I said pushing the words past the tears. Trying not to choke on them. Trying to make him feel the same pain I do…

"Shut up!"

"NO! I wish he was here and you were still dead! ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Suddenly I was on the ground. Looking up at the dark sky… there was a new pain. Pain I had felt so many times before but never by the hands of Sam. Never by the hands of family. I let myself give into the sobs I'd been fighting and turned to lay on my side, the throbbing on the right side of my face increased as it rubbed against the dirt.

"Keep the fucking car!" Sam yelled as he walked away, I laid there and watched him disappear from sight. He just kept going… he never turned around. He never even looked back.

He just left…

"Em!" A familiar voice called out to me through the dark. But I couldn't bring myself to respond. I just clutched the keys in my hand a little tighter.

"Emily!" The voice was more concerned.

I could feel the vibrations of foot steps against my face, they were slow at first… then quickened.

"Emily… baby?!"

Judson slid down on the dirt, he pulled me to sit up and I watched silently as his eyes scanned my face. Pausing on my right cheek and eye. I knew the bruise was forming… my vision was blurring on the edge. It happens with black eyes sometimes.

"Bobby!" Judson yelled. He picked me up and began to carry me inside. Bobby met us on the porch.

"What the hell happened?!"

"I don't know… I just found her out here."

"Sam!" Bobby called out for him. "Sam!"

"He's gone." I mumbled.

"What?" Bobby asked turning towards me.

"He left… he left me here."

"Dammit…" Judson sighed, holding me a little tighter.

"Where is he?" Bobby asked again, but the tone of his voice changed. "Did he do this?"

I flinched as his hand grazed my face. I refused to answer him.

"Emily answer me!" He asked gruffly. But Instead I turned and buried my face in the crook of Judson's neck. It doesn't really matter… if he did it or not.

He left… that's all that matters.

"Take her inside. Clean that up… I'm going after the idjit."

Judson nodded before turning and carrying me inside to the first floor bathroom. He set me down on the sink and dug through the cabinets to find the first aid kit. He ran a rag under the cold water, then began to dab it against my cheek. I did my best to hold still.

"Em… talk to me sweetheart."

"He left…"

"Did he hit you?"

"He left me here, he didn't wanna be with me."

"Emily, listen to me… Did Sam hit you?"

I turned to look him straight in the eye.

"Why doesn't he w-want me?"

The air that was just in my lungs felt like it left my body. I felt like I was choking. The panic ran through me like a flash of lightning. As my heart began to race the lights above us began to flicker.

"Whoa, Em, baby calm down! Take a breath! Shhh…" He tried to hold me but I only felt more suffocated and pushed him away, when I did the mirror behind me cracked.

"I c-can't breathe!"

"Emily! Emily look at me!" He tried to hold my face but I struggled against him.

"Let me go! Please!" I cried between grasping for air. The lightbulb above us shattered and glass sprinkled over us in the now dark room.

"Emily just stop! Breathe!"

I pushed away from him and jogged out of the room and up the stairs, busting through my door and digging through my bag. I finally found the bottle and dropped two white pills into my hand. I pushed my way up off the floor and to the bathroom sink, swallowing the pills and climbing into the tub. Turning on the water and rocking myself back and forth slowly unitl the tub filled, surrounding me… The pills took affect and I felt sleepy.

The pills… they dulled everything.

They dulled the pain.

The panic.

The fire in my veins.

So here I sit… dull and alone.

….

 **PRESENT**

*Knock Knock*

The knocking on the window against my head caused me to jump. I pulled my gun and put it against the window, but quickly dropped it as I recognized the person on the other side of the glass. I sighed and unlocked the door. Sliding over and making room for him to climb in.

"How the hell did you find me?" I asked as I dug through trash in the floorboard, trying to find the bottle that I hoped still had enough to wash out my mouth.

"This is the closest bar to Dean's grave. It wasn't that hard to figure it out." Judson said.

I finally found the bottle and went to drink from it, but it was ripped from my hands before it was thrown out the window, shattering on the concrete below.

"That cost me a lot of money ya know." I sighed.

"This isn't right Emily… You run off in the middle of the night, leave Bobby worried to death. Don't answer the damn phone. I mean do you know how many times he called you? How many times I've called you?"

"Yes." I whispered. Feeling the throbbing in my head.

"What the hell Emily? I mean I know you're a little fucked up right now with Sam leaving you and all… but that doesn't mean you can just shove me aside. I can't help you if you won't let me!"

"Why would you want to help me… why do you care? I don't have anything for you. I'm a shitty person. And you already said yourself that I am fucked up. So why would you want me? You're just buying your time until you find a reason to up and leave too. So just do us both the favor and do it now… cause I have things to do."

"Like what? Torturing demons? Thought you covered your tracks huh? I found the bodies. Did you get any answers from them? Find a way to get Dean out of hell yet?"

"Fuck you."

"No fuck you Em! Let me tell you something you DON'T know. I stuck around because I WANTED to. I'm here because I CARE. And no matter what you do to push me away, its not gonna work. So if this is how it's gonna be… you running off and me playing catch up to keep you alive. Then so be it. Next time be a doll and leave some bread crumbs will ya?"

He got out of the car and slammed the door shut. It rang in my ears, almost deafening with the hangover I was having. I climbed out of the car and stood next to it.

"I have a lead." I called out to him. He stopped and turned to face me. "The last demon gave me a name… I tracked it to a few states over. I just…" I swallowed. "I needed to see Dean. So I went last night… and I just kind of ended up here."

He slowly walked back over to me.

"Are they still acting up?"

"… Only if I don't take the pills."

"Em. You know I hate those stupid things… I wish you'd just give them to me."

"It's the only way I keep from walking into a room and destroying it… you know how sensitive they've been."

He sighed and walked up, pulling me against him.

"I know hun, we'll figure out another way."

Truth is though… I liked the pills.

They were easy. At first I was taking two a couple times a day… but then I figured out that just one and a little tequila worked even better than two of them. Plus this extends the life of my short supply. It made it easy not to feel the pain. It made it easy to feel normal, not like every time I lifted my hand the china cabinet would explode.

I nearly shattered every glass plate in Bobby's house before I took off…

"Hey Em, don't take this the wrong way… but you need a shower. You smell like a bar."

"Yeah. Shower sounds good." I mumbled back. He pulled us back towards the impala and drove us to the nearest hotel. He ran to the store to grab a couple of things and I sat under the stream of hot water… just letting it consume me. Feeling like maybe, just maybe it could wash me clean.

"Em, I'm coming in." Judson knocked against the bathroom door. He walked in and placed the soap, shampoo, and conditioner he had just bought on the edge of the tub.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"Need a hand in there?" He asked playfully. Part of me wanted to return with some witty comment. But I almost felt guilty for even considering it… Dean's in hell. Sam left me.

The little Debbie downer voice in my head creeps back in and reminds me that he probably just wants to fuck me and leave me… just like everyone else.

"I'm good." I sighed.

"Okay. Holler if you need anything."

…..

"Em." Judson said as I climbed into bed next to him. "Why didn't you just ask me to take you to see Dean? Why did you take off."

"Because. I wanted to be alone."

"That's not true… From the moment you realized Sam was really gone it's like you flipped a switch. You called him… I saw your phone."

"That's not your business."

"You are my business."

"I just… I just wanted to know why he didn't want me anymore." I said looking down at the ugly white stitching on the edge of the beige bland comforter. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing sweetheart. He didn't leave because of you."

"Yeah sure. I wasn't the problem… he just punched me on his way out to remind me how much he loved me."

"Em… I don't know why he did what he did. But I know you didn't do anything wrong. So it couldn't have been because of you."

"Is it wrong that I wish he would come back?"

"No." Judson said as he reached up and wiped the budding tears from the corner of my eyes.

"I-I miss him… I miss Dean. I- it hurts so much more… I didn't think it could get any worse, but I never in a million years thought that he would just. Leave…"

"Shh… babe. Don't do this to yourself."

"Why wasn't I enough?"

"Emily stop. You ARE enough."

I moved to climb out of the bed and walked over to the bags in the corner of the room.

"What are you looking for?"

I didn't answer him… because its easier that way. I continued to go through the bag until I found them. Popping them open and sliding one in my mouth. Then I stepped over to the mini bar and found something to wash it down with.

I was fixing to swallow when Judson pulled the bottle out of my hands. And instead handed me a water.

"If you're going to take them at least don't be stupid about it… I don't know why you're taking one right now anyways."

"You wouldn't understand." I said before swallowing.

"What don't I understand Em? Grief? Losing someone? Pain?"

"Look you dealt in your own way, let me deal in mine…"

"I'm fine with letting you process things in your own time but I'm not okay with you getting hooked on pills to do it."

"Are you serious?! I'm not addicted! I just… I just need a little help sleeping."

"And functioning during the day? A little help not blowing things up? I mean what do you really think those things are doing for you?"

"It just… It dulls it all." I sighed leaning against the wall. "It just. It makes it hurt less."

"Emily, just because you can't feel it doesn't mean it hurts less. It just means it's going to hurt longer. You have to deal with this shit, or it just builds up. It overtakes you. I don't want you to go down that road."

"I just… I want to go to sleep. And follow this lead in the morning. Please… can we just drop it for now?"

"Fine… for now."

We climbed back in bed and I laid there until Judson finally fell asleep. The slowly… quietly, I climbed out of the bed and grabbed my phone, stepping outside and cracking the door.

I dialed his number. Just like I have every night since he left.

I listened to it ring. Over. And Over again. Just like I have every night since he left.

Then it went straight to his voicemail. Just like it has every night since he left.

So I left him the same message I've left every night since he left.

"Sammy… please call me. I need you. I'm gonna get him back, but, I can't do it without you. Please. Just… I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. Any of it. I don't care about what happened… I just. Please come back, Sammy. I need you."

I need my brother.


	64. Chapter 64

Author's Note: Hello lovelies! Sorry this one took a while to get out to you, it's a little longer than the last couple have been, and I've been kinda distracted over the last couple of weeks. But here it is! By the end of this chapter we're about 2 months into Dean being gone, but I promise you the next two months will go by faster than these have… We should be seeing Dean again VERY soon. At least I'm hoping so! I never really know where things will go until I start writing! As always thank you all so much for the continued love and support! Let me know what you guys think and what you guys are wanting to see out of the next chapters! I love you all! Please READ and REVIEW! Your reviews touch me in ways you can't imagine! I love hearing what you all have to say!

"So." I smiled sweetly to the demon tied to the chair in front of me. "Tell me about hell."

He laughed.

"Sweetheart. You're barking up the wrong tree… its been months since I've taken a trip downstairs. I hardly remember it."

"Oh? Is that so… and how exactly did you get from the basement to the top floor, huh?" I asked as I slowly walked around him in circles. Judson watching me carefully from the corner of the room.

"Well you have to have the secret password." He smiled.

I stopped and spun to look at him. He thought he was getting out of this one… just like the rest of them. He thought he had the upper hand.

"Who got you out of hell sweetie?" I asked politely as I walked towards him.

"Is this about big brother Dean?"

I tensed for a moment, but quickly relaxed my posture again.

"Maybe… maybe not. Does your answer differ based on my motives?"

"Oh baby you've got it bad dontcha? It's just ITCHING at you… you wanna know what they're doing to him down there?"

"I thought you didn't remember hell?"

"Well when you've got a VIP like Dean Winchester in the pit, rumors fly. People talk… Man. The ways they carve into him. The way he screa-"

The demon stopped midsentence and his face contorted into silent suffering. I glared at him… my hands resting, but I could still feel the tension between him and I. I could see it was working.

"Emily, we talked about this." Judson reminded me from the corner. I ignored him. Watching the demon's face fill with fear.

"Emily!"

I closed my eyes and the demon began to gasp for air. When I opened them again I sat and straddled the demon. Rubbing my hand down the side of this face.

"Look 'baby' I don't wanna hurt you." I cooed. "See… me and you. We have things the other wants."

"And what do you have that I want?" He asked cautiously.

"You're little meat suit here is pretty good looking, ya know that?" I leaned down and whispered into his ear. "I'm sure I could find something that would please you both."

I slid forward on his lap and licked a trail from his ear to his jaw. He let out a breathy moan.

"What do you want from me?"

"I want to find a way into hell… can you help me?" I asked softly, running my hand through his hair.

"I don't know the way… but there's this woman. Erika. She got me out… she pulls demons to the surface to work for her."

"Where can I find Erika?"

"Colorado. She likes the mountains."

"Thanks playboy." I smiled as I climbed off his lap.

"Hey bitch!" He called out as I began to walk away. I looked up to Judson, who shook his head no. Telling me to keep walking. But I just couldn't stop myself… I turned back around and walked over to the demon.

"Forgot your part of the bargain." He smiled at me.

"Of course." I chimed as I lowered myself back down on his lap. I pulled out my knife and began to cut his shirt open, from the neck down… he watched me with excitement in his eyes.

"Emily. Don't do this…" Judson urged.

"But he wants his prize." I smiled.

I ran my hands up and down his body, the muscles curved under my hand, I moved up and paused. My hand resting over his heart. I leaned forward and licked the lobe of his ear.

"You've been a naughty boy." I whispered. Then I curled my fingers upwards and dug my nails slightly into his skin. His face became restrained. I could feel the heat between my palm and his body. The pulsating of his heart increasing rapidly.

He begged for me to stop, but I liked the sound of the fear in his voice. So I pushed in a little deeper… then a little deeper. Until finally his heart was beating so fast it was like it was vibrating against my hand.

Then silence.

Stillness.

His head rolled backwards gently, and I climbed off the dead demon's lap. I walked to the corner and picked up the salt and the gas can, emptying a little of both on his body before tossing a lit match.

I turned to walk away, but Judson was blocking my path.

"I thought we agreed this was going to stop." He said angrily.

"Hey. I was done… I was gonna walk away. HE called me a bitch. "

He shook his head at me before answering.

"You know for the last three weeks I've followed you state to state! Going from one demon to the other and STILL you don't get it! You're not just killing the demon in there Em! There's a person in there!"

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him.

"Don't just walk away from me!"

"You and I both know that once a person is possessed they are as good as dead anyways! We are just saving them the misery of it lasting any longer! I mean do you know what it's like to be in the body while its being possessed? No. You don't. Maybe they WANT to die!"

"That's such bullshit and you know it!"

"Oh fuck you!"

"I'm serious Emily! No more or I'm done helping you!"

"Fine. I didn't ask you to come along anyways."

"So what then? You just want me to leave? Am I standing in your way? Fine… I'll go."

"Fine!"

I got into the impala and slammed the door shut behind me, punching the gas and going towards the motel. Once there I went inside and pulled a bottle from my bag… taking a long drink. Then another.

And then another…

As the alcohol sank in and my body began to come off the high of using my abilities I felt lonely…

For the last few weeks I've been testing myself. Letting myself get a little carried away in interrogations on purpose. Truth is I kinda like the way it feels. I kinda like knowing they all suffer the way Dean did.

I like knowing they fear me.

I like the sweet sound of revenge in the screams.

Does that make me sick? Maybe…

Do I care… not really.

But Judson does. And I don't want him to leave.

So the more I drink and come down… the more I want him.

Eventually I reach out for the keys and drive back down the dark road I came from. It had only been maybe an hour, and the drive back to the motel was a solid 30-40 minutes. He should still be wandering around here somewhere.

I drove until I finally came upon the reflection of someone's shoes walking across the pavement. I slowed the engine and rolled it to a stop as I caught up to them.

He stopped, and I turned off the engine, climbing out and crossing the empty road to go to him.

"I'm sorry." I said as I pressed my lips against his.

He sighed, but kissed me back gently.

"Are you drinking?" He asked softly. I nodded. "Give me the keys."

I surrendered the keys without a fight and let him drive us back to the room without protest. He led me inside and put the bottle of whiskey away, his face looked disappointed.

"You should take a shower, get cleaned up. We'll get a good night's sleep then take off for Colorado in the morning."

"Can you call Bobby and let him know?" I asked softly, digging for the pill bottle in my bag. Judson walked over and sighed, pulling the bottle out of the bag and putting it in his pocket.

"You know you can't have one if you've been drinking. And I think you should call him, he's going to ask to talk to you anyways."

"I can't." I said pushing past him and moving towards the bathroom.

"Emily. You can't avoid him forever. He's not mad at you. He's just worried, please… He wants to hear from you."

"Just tell him I love him, and I'm sorry. Please."

I closed the door behind me and slumped down. Digging the small baggie out of my boot. I had to start hiding some of my pills in other places since Judson had started pulling them away from me, he doesn't understand that I need them to function.

That without them I will have the nightmares again.

That without them I can't control my abilities.

That without them I can't do the things required of me day to day.

It won't be forever… I just. I need a little extra help right now.

After my shower I stepped out to find Judson laying in the bed, watching some rerun of an old western. I walked over to him, and sat on the edge of the bed. He looked up at me hesitantly. I could tell he was still angry with me for earlier… it was written all over his face.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. "I just… I can't stop myself sometimes. Its like this part of me just takes over, and it. It feels powerful. And… good. Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, Em it doesn't… it makes you a little lost right now. But. You're not a bad person."

"So you won't leave me?"

He sat up and pulled me onto his lap, straddling him.

"Emily I told you… I'm not going anywhere. But you've gotta stop this babe. Its not you, its not who you are… This isn't who Dean raised you to be." I pulled my eyes away from him at the mention of Dean's name. "I know you're just trying to find a way to get him back, but he wouldn't want you to do it like this."

"I know."

And the truth is I do know that… but. I push it down.

Every time I kill another one of them I can see Dean in my head, disappointed at me. But It's the only way I know to get answers. To get him back… and if getting him back means disappointing him. Then so be it.

"Look at me baby." He pulled me back up to face him. Tears fought their way to the surface, but something about the way he looked at me. Something in those emerald eyes, puts me at ease again.

It doesn't stop the pain, but coupled with the pills and the tequila to calm me down, Judson is the only thing that makes me feel like the world still has more than darkness left in it. He's the only light I have right now… and I can't lose it.

"You are so much better than that… you're better than the things you're doing lately. We just gotta pull the reigns back in a little, okay?"

I nodded silently, pressing my lips against his. He eagerly kissed me back, letting his hands fall down my back and cupping them under my shorts. The tips of his fingers gently dragged across the inside of my thighs from behind. The sensation made me melt from the inside… it sent a warm tingle throughout my whole body.

I traced my hands up and down his bare chest, pausing down at his waist, pulling gently against the fabric of his sweatpants. I was eager to find nothing underneath them. My forehead laid against his as his breath mixed with mine.

"Judson…" I whispered. His hands pulled out of my shorts and back up to the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head, leaving me with nothing but shorts on.

"I don't like it when you touch them like that." He whispered into my ear. His hands winding around from the back to the front, tracing up and down my bare rib cage. "It makes me jealous."

"I.. I'm sorry." I moaned slightly. Letting my hands glide up and down his body, weaving into his hair, pulling his lips to mine. His hands went a little further every time they traveled up my body, until finally they grazed the underside of my breasts. His thumbs pressed against my nipples and rubbed back and forth gently. Causing my body to respond immediately.

"Do you want this?" He asked me softly, his tongue sliding down my neck to my collarbone.

But for some reason I couldn't answer him.

The way his hot mouth moved against my skin made it impossible to form the words. I couldn't speak if I wanted to.

"Emily?" He said pulling his face back up to mine. But his hands were still on my body, touching me in ways that I had never been touched before.

"I.. I. Um.." I stumbled over the words between my loud breaths. "I don't know."

His movements came to an abrupt stop, but silently I begged for him to keep going. I looked down at him with such conflict. I DID want this… for so long. So bad.

But I still had that voice at the back of my mind… telling me that once he got what he wanted he would leave me. I would be alone again, and he will move on to someone else. Someone less fucked up.

And as amazing as this felt, and as much as I wanted more. To feel him in ways I never had before… I was afraid that I would never get to feel him again.

"Emily? What is it?" He asked softly.

"I… I don't know if I'm ready." I gulped after the lie left my lips.

"Okay." He said, although I could tell he felt slightly disappointed. But He quickly hid it and pulled my body against his, we slid down onto the bed like this. My bare chest against his. The rise and fall slowly syncing.

We layed there, drifting to sleep in the dark, but before I could let myself slip I reached out for my phone, flipping it open and checking the inbox.

Feeling my heart break a little at the sign of no new messages, again.

I put the phone back down and closed my eyes.

"Has he tried to contact you at all?" Judson asked in the dark.

"No." I whispered.

"I'm so sorry babe… I know how much he means to you."

"Meant." I corrected.

The longer Sam stayed silent the more the pain turned into resentment. The more fuel it gave me to get Dean back myself…

"Em, don't let this harden your heart. He's still family. He's still your brother as much as Dean is."

"Don't compare them to me like that." I quickly interjected.

"Okay, okay… I'm sorry. I just. Don't write him off just yet… He's hurting too. You Winchesters are probably some of the worst when it comes to grieving properly."

"Oh because the rest of the world does it so well?" I asked pulling away. "Exactly how would you like me to grieve?"

"Emily, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you both are doing things that you might regret later!"

"Oh and what's mine huh? The pills… Why are you so fucking stuck on this? Huh?" I asked angrily.

"Em where the hell is all this anger coming from? I'm sorry if what I said offended you but its true. You and Sam both picked some shitty ways to deal with this, that's not a secret to anyone."

"Well I'm sorry I'm such a fucked up person, and that I make such shitty choices. Guess I should pop some pills and take my ass to bed now." I said getting up and going to the small couch on the other side of the room. I would have slept on the other bed, but since its just the two of us on the road we'd been getting rooms with single beds. Right about now I'm regretting that.

"Emily don't be like that."

"Fuck you. Go to sleep."

"Em, baby please."

"Let me sleep." I said one final time. He sighed, but gave in, turning over and giving up on getting me to come back to his bed. I laid in the dark until I could hear his soft snores. Then I caved and moved back to the bed, knowing that no matter how angry I was I still didn't want to be alone. And that if I woke up alone again then I would feel that same panic I felt every time I woke up alone.

…

"So how do we find her?" Judson asked as we stepped out of the motel.

"Easy. Crossroads. Let's go…" I sighed going to the trunk and getting things together to summon a deal making bitch. Then we got in the impala and drove out to some empty roads outside of town, stopping at the first four way we came to.

"What now?" Judson asked.

"You've never done this before?" I asked with honest curiosity.

"No. Didn't have much run in with demons until I started hanging around with you. Stuck mostly to monsters."

"I bury this box of trinkets here in the middle, and we wait."

"That's it?"

"Don't sound so disappointed…"

"Just a little anticlimactic, that's all." He shrugged. I rolled my eyes playfully. Then I stood in the center of the crossroads and spun.

"Come out, come out wherever you are." I sighed. Nothing happened.

"Hello?!" I yelled. Nothing.

"Umm… is it supposed to take this long?" Judson asked.

"Not usually." I said getting a bad feeling. The longer this took the more irritated I got.

"Hey yo bitch!" I yelled loudly.

"Let's get something straight." A female voice came from behind me and caused me to spin. "You lift your hands and I'm outta here. Got it?"

"Wow. You guys are skiddish these days aren't you?"

"I know your reputation."

"Yeah well, I've turned over a new leaf… I need some information. No harm no foul, just a chat."

"Oh? And what's in it for me?" She laughed. Her perky smile and blonde hair contrasted against the night sky.

"You know… I'm pretty sure every demon I've ever met asks me that. Selfish bunch aren't you?"

"… I'll only ask one more time before disappearing."

"Fine." I sighed rolling my eyes. "Tell me and I won't kill you… or exorcise you."

"That's not much of a deal."

"Well then what does your black heart desire?"

Her eyes wandered behind me.

"He's kinda yummy." She winked at him.

"He's kinda off limits." I warned.

"Fine. What is it you want to know?"

"A demon named Erika. Where can I find her?"

"What do you want with Erika?"

"None of your business."

"You talk… I talk." She bargained.

"I want to know how to get in and out of hell." I said with a straight face.

"This wouldn't be about dear old Dean would it?" She smiled, I could see the ideas brewing in her head. I knew that I should shut this down before it starts.

"Erika. Where is she?"

"Oh, hit a nerve did I? You know… the other Winchester has been hitting up the cross roads too."

"What?" I asked in sudden confusion. What the hell is Sam doing at crossroads?

"You didn't know? Sammy's been begging demon after demon to trade him places with Dean. Of course none of them took the bait, and well… lets just say you're not the only one who's built a reputation of taking down demons."

I stared at her. Unsure of what to say. My head swam… The words I said to Sam. The look on his face. The pain… He's trying to trade places with Dean, and its probably because of me.

A whole new level of guilt and self- hatred rolled over me like a bowling ball. Knocking me straight on my ass. What the hell have I done… where is my brother. What is he doing?

"Where is Sam?"

"Don't know. He hops around a lot. I've not personally had the pleasure. I'm guessing you and brother aren't getting along? Isn't that interesting."

"… Tell me where Erika is now." I felt the need to finish this and be done. I had to get away from her before she realized she was holding the upper hand.

"A bar a couple of towns over. The Black Diamond."

"Thanks bitch." I turned to walk away, but a voice stopped me.

"Don't you wanna know…"

"Know what?" I asked.

"Emily… let's go. She's got nothing else for us." Judson said as he reached out to pull me towards the car, but I held my ground.

"Know how he screams. Begging for it to stop… begging for you and sweet little Sammy."

"Shut up!" I yelled.

"The way that they cut into him over and over and over again… the smell of his flesh melting off."

"I said shut up!" I reached out with my hand and before she could get away and lifted her into the air. "Its YOUR fault he's dead!"

"Emily! Let's go!" Judson yelled yanking me around to face him, the demon fell to the ground and quickly smoked out of the woman's body.

"Dammit! I had her!" I yelled as I shoved him.

"Look on the ground Em…" He said pushing me back lightly. I turned to see the woman on the ground begin to come back to life. She was confused, but alive and well. "The demon wasn't the only one you had."

"Let's just go…" I stormed off past him, back to the impala. I sat behind the wheel and looked up at the dream catcher. The way the feather's danced as the air from the vent blew on it. I couldn't help but feel emotion overtake me.

I miss Dean.

I miss Sam.

I feel like the worst person in the world, for what I did to Sam. For what I do to the people who are possessed. For what I almost did to the woman laying in the road…

What the hell am I?

I leaned against the steering wheel and let myself slip, little bit after little bit. By the time Judson opened the door I was sobbing. The more I tried to explain things, the harder it was to make my mouth form the words.

I hated… me.

I hated everything I'd become.

But, I wanted Dean back so bad! I wanted to end this horrible day. I wanted to drown myself, to feel numb again. Not to feel at all…

"Em, talk to me baby." Judson crooned as I poured myself into the bed, a small bottle of whiskey tucked under my pillow, waiting for him to go to sleep.

"I told him it was his fault." I whispered.

"Who?"

"…Sam. Its why he hit me. I told him, that I wished he was dead. That it was all his fault."

Judson sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Emily, that still doesn't excuse what he did."

"I know… but you can't tell me it doesn't have something to do with him running around trying to make crossroads deals." I mumbled, tears breaking through the words.

"Babe, Sam probably felt that way before you said anything. It's just a combination of things."

"Including me." I demanded, sitting up. "It's bad enough I couldn't save EITHER of them when they died, but I chased off the only living brother I had?! Told him that I WISHED he was dead?! THAT. Is inexcusable… it's disgusting."

"Em. You were both pretty upset, he was drinking. I think it's safe to say you both know it was a heat of the moment kind of thing."

"It doesn't matter. I still said them… and I think it's kinda obvious now that he definitely remembers them."

"Well then let's go find Sam… apologize. He's reasonable."

I scoffed and turned to look at him.

"Are you fucking stupid? He has ignored EVERY call, every text, every email. Don't you think if he wanted an apology he would have talked to me at some point over the last few weeks?"

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm only making suggestions." He backlashed.

"Just get the hell away from me." I mumbled.

"That's fine!" He scoffed. "I'm gonna go sleep in the fucking car, cause it's a hell of a lot more comfortable then being in here right now. I get that life's hard right now, okay? I know its beating the hell out of you. But the one thing you don't do, is spit on the people that are trying to help you. THAT'S inexcusable."

He slammed the door as he exited, leaving me no room to argue.

He's right… I know that.

But I just can't stop myself from being a bitch. From pushing him… maybe he'll up and leave me too. I'd deserve it. I climbed out of the bed and pulled one pill from the quickly dwindling bottle, a swig of my hidden whiskey to swallow it down. Then another just for good measure…

Of course it wasn't but a few hours later that I laid in the bed, unable to sleep alone… so I carefully stepped out the door and gently tapped on the window. Judson woke up quickly and blinked at me a few times before opening the door and stepping outside, stretching his stiff body form being cramped in the front seat.

As he stretched my hands traced up his abs to his chest. He slowly let his arms fall around me, and I leaned against him.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"I know." He sighed… like he's heard the same word a thousand times.

"Will you come to bed?" I asked as I looked up at him. He nodded, and pulled me against him before leading me back inside to the bed. I let him lay down first, then buried myself in him. Every part of my body touching every part of his.

I just… I don't want to be alone.

"Em." Judson whispered. "We need to talk…"

"Okay." I agreed hesitantly. He pulled back so he could look at me eye to eye. A knot began to form in my stomach.

"We can't keep doing this back and forth bullshit. I'm here for you baby, but I'm not gonna be stepped on. I know you feel like the worlds caving in a round you, and I know you're pushing me away because you're hurting. But its time you realize we're on the same side."

"… And if I don't?" I asked, not to challenge him, but just out of curiosity to see what he would say. What thoughts come to his mind…

"Then I'll leave." He answered without a moment of hesitation.

…..

"We're here to see Erika." I smiled as we walked up to the bouncer outside the door. He eyed Judson and I both. My tight red dress hugged just right and made me seem inviting, but Judson's arm around my waist made the statement I was unapproachable. He nodded and we passed through the roped off entrance, letting the music carry us inside.

"Its loud in here." I nearly had to shout even though I my face was sliding against his.

"Just stay close, place like this looks easy to get lost in." He said back, I noticed that his hand had moved to my lower back, and stayed pressed against me, guiding me through the crowd to the small opening centered around the main bar.

Once there I was finally able to get a look at the layout of the club. There were three stages, all filled with strippers, and then just a little lower in between each stage was a crowded dance floor. To the right and left of us was a stair case, each leading to an upper deck that appeared to be a lounge, also on the upper level right in front of us was a large set of mirrored glass windows. Made specifically so that whoever was up there could see out but that we couldn't see in.

"There." I pointed. Judson turned his head to look up to the windows and nodded in agreeance.

"How do you think we're getting up there?"

"One step at a time I guess… we need to blend in. Care for a drink?" I asked approaching the bar, he half smiled.

"Allow me." He winked. He took my hand and led me up to the bar, he ordered our drinks swiftly and I sat at the stool, leaning forward to get the bartender's attention. Once it was there I summoned him over with the wave of my finger."

"How can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Erika."

"Why is that?" He asked suspiciously.

"We have a… business deal to discuss." I smiled.

"She's up in the office." He said suspiciously before stepping away from me. I picked up my drink and turned back to Judson.

"Got confirmation she's up there, so now we just need a way to get past the ropes." I told him.

"Uhh… I think that's not the most pressing issue we have Em." I turned to see what he was looking at. The bartender I had just spoken to was on the phone, and staring at us.

"Maybe we should go down on the dance floor, blend in for a while before trying." Judson suggested. I nodded. Just as we went to step away 3 men approached us. One from the left, the right, and the other directly ahead of us.

"Fuck." I mumbled.

"Stay behind me and play it cool." Judson said as he stepped in front of me slightly. The three men approached us calmly, but there was an assertive tone in their movements. Definitely body guards… possibly demons.

"Gentlemen, is there a problem?" Judson asked coyly.

"The girl. She comes with us." The blonde headed man spoke, heavy Russian accent carrying his voice over the music.

"Not alone she doesn't."

"Fine tough guy, you can join the party too, now move it."

The man shoved Judson lightly to his right, then he pointed towards the staircase.

"Well, this is one way to get up here." I shrugged as we walked. Judson rolled his eyes at me.

The men led us past the lounge areas, complete with topless waiters, beds, and a number of other sketchy accessories.

"Geez, this place is like the ultimate STD awareness commercial." I mumbled out loud as I slowed my pace to look at it all. A man from behind me pushed me forward.

"Hey! Get your hands off of her." Judson said as he pulled me against his body. The three men only laughed and we continued until we came to a guarded dark purple door. The man at the door nodded to the men behind us, then he opened it and waved for us to come in, this time none of the men followed.

"What the hell…" I said stepping in. There was bright red vintage furniture filling the room, the windows showed the entire club and everyone in it, and in the corner was a small personal bar, fully loaded.

"Welcome to the Black Diamond." A tall exotic woman cooed as she stepped out of the shadows. Her bright blue eyes flashed black for only a second.

"Erika. I've hear so much about you."

"And I you, Emily." I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Yes my dear girl, that's right. I know who you are, and I know what you're doing here."

"Somehow I doubt you've been given the whole story."

"You want a trip to the pit… round ticket, not one way I'm assuming."

"Preferably."

"Sit." She beckoned as she sat in the chair and motioned to the couch directly in front of it.

"Let's be honest to one another here shall we? I'm not looking for trouble. I have made a very good arrangement here and I'd hate for something to disrupt that."

"And by something you mean us. I'm guessing you don't get a lot of hunters, and if you do… they're here for the tits, not the demons."

"That's correct. Now Emily, tell me what it is you seek…"

"My brother."

"Ah, the delectable Dean Winchester. I've never had the pleasure myself, but oh how news of his predicament has traveled."

"Why do you all care so much? Huh?" I asked feeling slightly annoyed at the way she spoke about my brother. Judson reached up and pulled me to sit back, giving me the hint to calm down.

"Forgive me, I meant no offense. The Winchester's are all well known amongst hell. You've sent quite a few demons back there over the last year or so. Let's just say, people talk. So yes. I know where your brother is, and why."

"So can you help me or not."

"I want to… but its not as simple as that." I was caught off guard by how genuine her voice was. If it wasn't for the black eyed introduction I might question the validity of her being a demon… she was different from any other demon I'd met. Not snarky or selfish, but honest and frank.

"Why do you want to help me?"

"Emily let me let you in on a little secret… the currency in hell is souls. But the currency up top is cash. Cold. Hard. Cash. I've got myself settled to the best of both worlds. I transport souls out of hell and in return they work for me. I've started an honest business here, and it provides me with more money than I truly know what to do with. The staff? All demons… their pay is their salvation from hell. I pocket every dollar that enters this building, and let me tell you… its much more than what is costs to keep the lights on and the local law off my back. I want to be left in peace. I know what you've been doing lately to my less fortunate friends, I know what you're capable of, and I don't want to make waves on a placid lake. I help you… you forget all about me. Do we have a deal?"

I sat and considered her words… was she honestly just smarter than all the other demons my path has crossed up to this point, or did she have ulterior motives that I was lacking to see. I looked to Judson for guidance, hoping he felt swayed one way or the other. His eyes were unsure, I got the feeling he was having the same thoughts I was. He finally nodded lightly to me.

"Deal." I said reaching out my hand. Her delicate long fingers reached out to mine and we shook on it.

"How do I get into hell?"

"Well we have one small problem with that… I transport souls. I cannot take you until you've died."

"No way, we're out of here." Judson said standing. He reached out for me. "Emily let's go."

"BUT." She interrupted him loudly, he crossed his arms and stayed standing as I leaned forward to listen to her. "There are ways… ways I have only ever heard of. But I think it may be your best shot."

"I'm listening."

"Devil's gate. Have you ever heard of one?"

"Yes, we opened one… a year or so ago." I nodded. Judson looked down at me concerned.

"If you were to find a way to open the door, then you could enter hell, but once there. You cannot be protected. You will be on your own."

"But we don't have the colt anymore to open the gate."

"My dear that was only one gate, and one key…"

She lifted a long chain off of her neck, on the end of it was a heavy metal key. It was easily over 100 years old, and had intricate carvings.

"This will open a door in the mountains. I do not know its exact location, but I know it's the closest door."

She dangled the key in front of me, I reached out for it

"Wait… the information and knowledge was part of our deal. They key has to be earned."

"What do you want?" I asked trying to hide the desperation in my voice.

"Well you don't have any souls to offer me and I somehow doubt you'd feel well about murder. So let's talk about the other currency."

"You want money?" Judson asked incredulously. "After you just told us you had more money than you know what to do with… you want us to BUY this key?"

"Greed my dear boy. It made the top 7 for a reason."

"I don't have any money." I said confused. "I'm a hunter, you of all people know hunters don't really get paid for what they do."

"Then I encourage you to find another way… perhaps here. Downstairs." She smiled. I looked down through the window at the woman on the closest stage, taking her clothes off one piece at a time.

"Go fuck yourself lady, we're out of here." Judson said pulling me up off the couch.

"Wait!" I pulled back and turned to face Erika again. "Do… Do I have to get naked?"

"That's up to you… although the topless girls do get the most at the end of the night."

"So what I parade around on the stage for five minutes and give you the cash earned… that's it?"

"That's it."

"I get the feeling this is more about holding power over her then it is money." Judson said to Erica with anger painted across his face. She shrugged.

Dammit… none of the demons are ever fucking nice.

Judson came around and stood in front of me, taking my face in his hands.

"Emily. You don't have to do this… We can find another way, okay baby? Lets just go."

"But he's down there… and they're hurting him." I mumbled, my throat constricting.

"Em this is too much, you don't have to do it."

I pulled away from him and turned back to Erika.

"I'll do it."

…..

I went through the pile of skimpy outfits in the private dressing room, deciding which one would be less humiliating. I settled on a black lace set, that mostly covered my ass and my stomach… I looked in the mirror and cringed.

So many scars…

I hoped that the dark lighting would help disguise them, but I knew that anyone close to the stage would be able to easily count them, one after the other.

A knock at the door made me jump slightly.

"Hey, they said you're next." Judson sighed as he came in. I could tell he hated this as much as I did, but… I'd do anything to save Dean. To make things right.

"Okay." I said pushing a small fake smile to my face as I pulled at the skirt, trying to will it to magically be longer.

"Emily." He said softly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah, of course…" I lied. "Who knows maybe they'll let me take the outfit home for later." I winked at him, trying to play off my self consciousness. But the longer my eyes lingered on his the more I could tell he saw straight through me.

"Em… don't lie to me." He said as his hands slid down to my hips. I dipped my head and leaned it against his chest.

"They're going to see them…"

"See what baby?"

"The scars."

If Erika was looking to humiliate me and make me uncomfortable then she was definitely succeeding, and I think she knew that.

"Hey, look at me." He pulled my eyes back up to his, then he slowly placed his lips against mine, letting this kiss move slowly, subtly, letting it warm me from head to toe. Then he pulled back. "You are beautiful, these scars don't mean anything Em. They don't compare to the way your face lights up when you smile, and I mean really smile, not that fake shit. Or the way your eyes turn amber in the sun. The way your hair gets crazy in the morning and falls over your face… your beautiful baby. Don't let something as small as those scars make you feel like you aren't."

"How did I ever get lucky enough to have you in my life?" I whispered into his ear, my fingers hooking into his belt loops. I slowly kissed a trail along his jaw, until it landed on his lips again. He responded by letting his hands move from my hips to the curve of my bottom, grabbing it in handfuls and squeezing.

"Maybe the outfit would be fun." He chuckled into my ear. I laughed back.

"I don't know if I want you to watch this…"

"Why baby?"

"Because I'm probably fixing to make a fool of myself, and I don't really want you to see it."

"You'll do great… as unhappy as I am about all of this. If you feel like its something you have to do, then I'll back you. Besides, its not like you have to get naked."

"Yeah I know, I just. I feel like a fool just wearing this thing, let alone taking it all back off in front of those people."

"It'll all be over soon, and then you never have to do it again. And really you don't have to do it now."

"Yes I do… It it gets us closer to saving Dean then I'll have to do it."

"Alright baby, I'll wait back stage, okay?"

I nodded nervously and left the room. Walking past the other girls, who all stared. Whispering about me as I past them.

"Hey." One of them called out to me. "The more skin you show the more money they'll give. And remember not to lean too far over the edge of the stage, they get grabby."

"Thanks." I mumbled, trying not to show my fear. That same girl flashed black eyes at me then walked away.

If ever in a million fucking years you told me I'd be working as a stripper in a club full of demons, not only would I have laughed at you... Dean would have killed you.

"Sorry De." I whispered as the music started and the stage manager nodded for me to go.

As I stepped out I could barely see the crowd, lights in my face blocked most of my vision, they flashed from purple to blue to red, and then back all over again. Men cat called and whistled as I walked, but all I could do was stare at the empty stage in front of me… thank god there wasn't a pole on this one, or I'd really be screwed.

I strutted slowly to the end of the stage, pulling at the buttons on my top as I walked, hoping that they went all down the shirt to buy me some time. The hells were too big on my feet and I silently chanted to myself 'do not fall.'

Once I reached the end of the stage I spun and ran my hands along the inside of my waist line, dipping my skirt down enough to show the lines of my thong. I continued uncomfortably to prance and parade around the edge of the stage, tossing my hat, my belt, and anything else I could find to buy myself more time.

But eventually I ran out of things to throw into the crowd and I knew it was time to pull off my shirt. I let my back face the stage as I slowly pulled it off, then back up… then off again, swinging it in the air above me before letting it fall to the ground, the crowd cheered, and I slowly turned to face them.

I moved as quickly as I could, not staying in one spot for too long, but I could tell by the way the crowd got quiet that they noticed…

I slowly lowered myself down to the edge of the stage, pulling at the sides of my skirt and flipping it up as I stood. Hoping to pull their attention away, but the few faces I could see past the spot light were focused on my stomach, my ribs, all the stab wounds and old cuts. Some of the pointed and talked amongst themselves.

I began to feel the nerves over take me, every where I turned their eyes were only focused on one thing… I had to do something to distract them.

So I did the quickest thing I could think to do.

I unhooked my bra in the center of my chest and pulled it off, leaving me exposed, but the crowed turned its attention upward and money began to fly onto the stage at my feet.

I felt violated. Disgusted. Exposed.

But I pushed myself to finish until the music stopped and the lights turned off, leaving me in the darkness to find my way back off of the stage. I tucked my arms across my body and fled as quickly as I could in the shoes I was wearing.

Just as I hit the curtains I stumbled, falling to my knees, leaving me exposed again to everyone behind them. I quickly covered myself and kicked out of my shoes, my bare feet made little to no noise as I ran through the hall, finding my way back to the small dressing room.

Once there I slid down the wall and began to sob.

Erika knew exactly what she was doing… she didn't want the money. She wanted to break me. Do something to destroy what little pieces of myself still remained.

Well, congratulations bitch.

The door opened and Judson quickly pulled out of his button up and threw it around my shoulders. I quickly pulled it and tucked it around my body, trying to cover myself, even though he was the only one in the room.

"Em baby what happened?"

"They were all staring at my scars, and I just… I just wanted them to stop."

"Shhh… c'mon lets get the hell out of here."

Judson picked me up and helped me quickly get dressed, we made our way back into the main crowd, passing some of the same faces I could see from the stage, I hid myself under Judson's arm, who kept me pulled closely to his side as we climbed the steps to Erika's office.

Judson knocked angrily.

She opened the door with a proud spiteful smile on her face.

"They key." Judson said.

"No please and thank you?" Judson only continued to stare at her. "Fine… good luck finding the gate my dear, and remember. Once you're down there, you'll be on your own."

I looked up to her for the first time since we approached.

"Why did you make me do that?" I asked as a single tear fell down my cheek.

"Just because your powerful doesn't mean you run the show, sometimes you have to put people in check. Remind them of their place in the food chain." She reached out and handed the key to Judson. "I just hope you don't forget yours again." She smiled before closing the door in our face.

Judson and I rushed out of the bar and back to the motel, where we quickly packed our belongings and left just incase any of Erika's demons decided to pay a visit. We were driving down the road in the middle of the night, and all I could do was stare at the dream catcher hanging from the rearview mirror.

How ashamed of me would he be right now?

Could it possibly be more ashamed than I am of myself?

I had the strong urge to talk to Sam about it… I had a strong urge to call Sam, and spill my guts to his voicemail, and beg him to come find me. To help me.

But I knew it wouldn't do me any good at this point.

I just want things to go back to the way they were before Sam died… things weren't perfect. But they were good. We had each other, we were making it. I just want that back. I want US back.

The Winchester's against the world.

"What are you thinking about?" Judson asked as he looked over from the road.

"Sam."

"Do you want to call him? We could go find him Em."

"No, it wouldn't matter at this point… he's not ready to forgive me."

"I'm sorry baby, why don't you get some rest huh? I'll drive us north for the night, get us closer."

"I don't know if I can."

"Well just try babe, I'll stop and grab you a cup of hot chocolate at the next stop okay?"

"Thanks." I mumbled, he reached over and kissed my forehead.

Judson kept his word and at the next gas station he pulled in and returned just as quickly with a cup of hot chocolate. I sipped it nice and slow, watching the moonlight dance on the beads of the dream catcher. Dozing in and out until finally I fell into a solid sleep.

…

I stirred, feeling the warmth of a blanket surrounding me. Judson must have carried me into the motel when he finally stopped. I stretched and reached for his warmth, but I came up empty handed. I rubbed my eyes and began to open them.

"What the fuck?!" I said sitting up quickly and looking around my all too familiar room at Bobby's. How the hell did I get here?! How long was I asleep?!

"Judson!" I yelled as I tried to wrap my head around whether or not I was really here or trapped in some odd dream. I heard footsteps come down the hall. I anticipated Judson to burst through the door, and I prepared the next words I wanted out of my mouth.

But when Bobby came through the door I froze, and though my mouth opened, no sound left it.

"Well. Look who's finally awake." He said as he crossed his arms.

I stared at my dear surrogate uncle, feeling guilty. I hadn't taken one call from him at all over the last several days, hell weeks even. Not since the night we left.

To be honest I didn't have the balls, I knew what I was doing wasn't smart, and I knew Bobby would try to convince me to come back, and if I knew Bobby like I think I did. He would win.

"Uncle Bobby I, I'm sorry." I said barely able to push the words out of my body.

"For what? Not calling, not answering? Or for running off in the middle of the night and scaring the hell out of me?" I looked down at my feet and wrung my hands nervously.

"I. I didn't know what to say, I just… I had to go do something after Sam left."

"And you didn't think I would have helped you darling?" Bobby said approaching me.

"I… I haven't been the best person lately Uncle Bobby." I said feeling the tears break through.

"Emily, love is unconditional in this house. You are MY girl, no matter who you've been lately… now come on downstairs when you're ready. There's some things we need to discuss."

I nodded and he turned to leave.

"Bobby wait, where is Judson?"

Part of me was petrified that he would tell me that he dumped me here and ran off.

"Waiting for you downstairs." He answered before closing the door.

I stepped into the bathroom and showered, then dressed and even dried my hair. It was kind of nice to be back at Bobby's, it was the closest thing to coming home that I would ever have.

Once downstairs I found Bobby and Judson sitting at the table, sipping on coffee. I sat down across from Judson, and instantly noticed his posture.

It was stiff… rigid even. As if he was tensed and preparing for something. This can't be a good sign…

"How long was I out?"

"About 14 hours." Bobby answered.

"You drive all night to get us here?" I asked Judson. He nodded, but never looked up to meet my gaze. Whatever this is… it isn't good.

"Are one of you going to tell me what's going on?"

"Well, Judson filled me in on your hunt for finding a way to save Dean from the pit, I gotta tell you darling. It's a little ambitious, and not that I'm not proud of you for working hard to save your brother, but there just isn't a way to bring someone back from the pit."

"Did he tell you about the gate? And the key?! Bobby we FINALLY have a way to get in there! I can go in and get him!"

I looked between Judson and Bobby frantically, getting the feeling this was quickly going to turn against my favor, or better yet… it already had.

"Emily. Getting into hell isn't the biggest part of this problem. What do you think is going to happen once you get down there?"

"I'll find Dean!"

"And what about the hundreds, hell maybe even thousands of demons you'll encounter along the way?" Judson suddenly spoke up and asked vehemently, as if he had kept the thought to himself for so long that he couldn't bear to hold it a second longer.

"I think we both know I can handle a few demons."

"I think you are underestimating them… and who knows if your ability would even work in the pit? Then what… you'd be as good as dead."

"So what? You think you're gonna stop me from going down there?!"

"Now Emily darling calm down, listen to me for a minute… Judson is right. Even if we get down there, we have no way of knowing what we're up against. We don't know how to fight them on their turf."

"Bobby please! We have to do something, we can't just sit here and live the rest of our lives like he isn't down there!" I yelled standing and begging. Bobby turned away from me for a moment before turning back to me.

"It hurts me too darlin, all three of you are like my own. And I can't imagine how bad it hurts you… but Dean wouldn't want this. He would die and go to hell a thousand times over again before he'd be okay with you going down there."

"So what then?! We sit here and act like nothing happened! We just mope around for the rest of our lives and don't try to help him! No… no. I let him die, and I live with that every day but I WILL NOT live knowing I did NOTHING to try and get him back!"

"Emily it's not your choice anymore." Judson said softly.

"Excuse me?" I whispered. Watching him carefully. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before speaking again.

"Em. I brought you back to Bobby's because we've let this go on for too long… okay? I hoped maybe we'd get out there and you'd see there just wasn't a way to save him, and you'd let this whole thing go. But you didn't… and I'm not letting you go to the pit. I'm sorry. I'm just not."

I stared at him incredulously as he spoke, giving us all a moment of silence as I processed the words that just came out of my mouth.

"And who the fuck are you?! You think you have a say in MY life? In what happens to MY family? You're not one of us! You don't understand… you have NO right to decide what I do with MY life!" I yelled. He sat and took it all without argument.

"I'm sorry Em. It's just not gonna happen."

"Oh fuck you! I'll find him on my own!" I said as I stormed out of the kitchen and pulled the keys off the counter."

"Those won't do you any good." Bobby called out. I stopped and turned to him.

"Oh… so the two of you planned this then? What did you drug my drink at the gas station? Get me back here so that you'd have Bobby on your side? Now you two get to call all the shots?"

"The engine has been disabled… without me that car will never run again, and I'm not fixing it until we're on the same page here darling. I'm sorry."

"Fine then I'll fucking walk!"

"There's a spell… in a book I found while we were looking for ways into hell." Judson spoke up standing and walking towards me.

"… And?!" I asked irritated.

"The spell acts like a supernatural lock down, or… house arrest I guess. If you try and go anywhere beyond 20 miles of this house, then you'll become unconscious. You'll wake right back up a few minutes later, but the point is… we can't trust you not to run off. And even if you did it wouldn't matter. Bobby and I destroyed the key last night. I'm sorry Emily. I didn't want to do this, but. You left me no choice. I promised Dean."

"Shut up!" I screamed. I threw the keys in my hand, they narrowly missed his face before breaking something on the counter behind him.

"I hate you! I hate you so fucking much! I wish I NEVER met you!" I turned to walk out the door.

This can't be happening…

Not now.

Not when I JUST found a way to save him!

"Emily please stop!" Judson ran out after me. Once he caught me he pulled on my arm to spin me around but I yanked it from him.

"Leave me the hell alone!"

"Em baby I'm sorry."

"Don't call me that! You lied to me! You tricked me, and now you- you trap me here?! How dare you!"

"Well dammit Emily I had to do something! You were running towards the edge of a fucking cliff! Ready to jump!"

"So then let me jump!"

"NO! … don't you get it?! We all promised Dean that we would protect you! That we would help you get past this."

"DON'T TALK ABOUT HIM!"

"… I'm sorry Em. I had to do it. For you."

I stood and stared at him.

The one person who I thought was truly on my side, just ripped away every chance I had at saving my brother. Just basically put me in a cage… took away my freedom.

I felt like I was suffocating already.

I felt ready to vomit.

I couldn't even stand to look at him.

"I want you to leave." I told him softly, looking down at the ground.

"Emily baby don't do this…" He said as he reached out for me, but I stepped back and pulled away.

"I said, I want you to leave… So go."

"But Em I-"

"Leave! Judson… just. Just go!" I begged with tears now fighting their way to the surface.

He stared at me, his face mirroring a fraction of the pain I felt in my chest right now.

All this time… all this effort.

And he single handedly washed it down the drain.

Took it from me like a thief in the night.

"I'm sorry Em." He said before he kissed me on the cheek and walked away. I stood in that same spot until I heard the engine of his truck start, and I stood as I watched him drive away.

Part of me wanted to beg him to come back. Chase after him.

The other part however… well that part hoped I never fucking saw him again.


	65. Chapter 65

Author's Note: I'm so excited about this chapter I don't even want to say anything before you read it! Other thank THANK YOU for all the reviews and the messages and the love! You guys mean the world to me and I looooooove hearing your opinions/thoughts! I can't WAIT to see what you all have to say! Pleeeeease read and review! I love you!

Stiff joints.

That's what you get for sleeping in the backseat of a car. Or the front.

Bench seats were made for sitting, not sleeping. But Winchesters always were rule breakers. I reached out with my foot and pushed open the already cracked car door. I rolled over and stretched. Looking up and letting my eyes follow directly to the dream catcher than hung above me.

This is how it starts… every day.

For the last week I spend every night trying to sleep in my bed, but not being able to and ending up out here instead. Even though Baby won't start she's still home. And she's still what Dean loved.

Speaking of Dean, he's still in hell.

And I'm still on lock down.

And everything about this situation sucks dick.

Judson hasn't texted me. Hasn't called me. Hasn't driven over.

And I don't care.

Well I do… but I don't want to. So I don't.

Giving me my space is probably the smartest thing he can do right now after everything he's done. The thought that I had the key in my hands, and it was ripped from me, makes me absolutely sick to my stomach.

I shook my head to get rid of the thought. The nauseating feeling.

I pushed myself up off the seat and walked through the warm air into the kitchen's back door. Inside was Bobby, making a pot of coffee. We briefly met eyes, but I quickly pulled away.

"Sleep out there again?"

"Yep."

"You know there's about 4 different beds in this house, plus a few sofas. I'm sure one of them would be more comfortable darling."

"Yep."

Bobby sighed.

"Still giving me the cold shoulder huh?"

This time I didn't answer him. I just looked down at my feet.

"Emily… I'm sorry. I didn't want it to be like this."

"Actions have consequences." I finally muttered.

"You're damn right they do. And I'm not fixing to let you run off and face consequences you aren't prepared for. I can take the cold shoulder, I hate it. But as long as your ass is here in this house, in this town, with me. You're safe. So I'll live with the consequences of that."

"You didn't even give me the chance to try Bobby."

"Because there is no coming back from the pit, Em. Hell I wish there was. I'd do anything to bring that boy back, but there's just not a way. Dean chose this for a reason."

"He chose this out of desperation!" I scoffed. "He didn't think it through! He didn't tell anyone, he just acted without a care as to how it would affect anyone else!"

Bobby just watched me as my anger turned to tears. Not arguing, not pushing. Just… watching. I pulled myself back together quickly.

"Have you heard from Sam yet?" I asked Bobby softly, changing the subject.

"No." He sighed again. I nodded and left the room, going up the stairs and to my room… pulling out one of Dean's old ragged cut off shirts and some sweat pants. Then I quickly made sure the door was locked before I pulled out my pill bottle. Thankfully the one thing Judson didn't spill to Bobby about…

Only 3 left. That's enough to get me through today… I need to find more.

I popped one in my mouth and changed, swapping the sweats for denim shorts instead. I slid them on over my converse and grabbed my gun and some cash before walking down the stairs.

"I'm going into town." I mumbled as I passed Bobby in the hall.

"You planning on walking?"

"Well unless you fixed the car yeah."

"Here." He said as he tossed me some old keys. "Put some gas in the tank while you're out."

I didn't say anything before I shut the door and walked down to the old beat up car parked out front of the house. It started… barely.

But it was enough to drive me into town, windows down thanks to the broken AC. I contemplated the best way to get the pills.

Do I steal a script pad?

Do I scope out the pharmacy and pick pocket someone?

Do I find a sketchy drug dealer somewhere near by?

Does South Dakota have sketchy drug dealers?

I drove in circles for an hour before settling on a small group of guys I spotted at the end of an alley way. Yeah I know… sketchy as fuck. Stupid girl. But hey, I can protect myself, and I need the pills.

I parked not far away and casually walked down the alley as if I owned it, confidence is key in any bargaining situation. Always appear to have the upper hand. I approached what I now counted to be 4 men. All were now watching me as I got closer, whispering or mumbling to each other.

"I think you're lost sweetie." One of them called out to me as I approached.

"Somehow I think you're wrong."

"Oh yeah, why is that?" He laughed as he looked between me and his buddies.

I pulled the pill bottle out of my pocket and handed it to him.

"I need more… something tells me you'd know where to find some."

He laughed and twirled the bottle in his hands.

"I'm not a doctor bitch."

"Can you get me the pills or not?"

"Oh come on, what the hell is this?" He laughed gesturing to me. His buddies all chiming in.

"Look if you can't get them then give me back the bottle and I'll be on my way. Otherwise name your price."

The man sized me up and down, then looked over to his friend. They slowly nodded.

"You know, I don't think you want it bad enough… how about I take this, and you come see me in a few days. When you haven't had any. Then we'll see how bad you really want them."

I glared him down and quickly snatched the bottle from his hands, turning and walking away as they all laughed again.

"Yeah I'll see you soon! Come back when you REALLY want it!"

Aggravated and ready to punch something I turned the corner and got back in the car, slamming the door behind me. I went to turn the key and start the engine, but when I looked up my eyes landed on the sign of a local bar. I looked at the clock… 1 in the afternoon… why the hell not.

I put the bottle back in my bag and walked in. As to be expected, the place was empty. There was one young guy carrying a box of beer, setting it on the bar and tossing the rag over his shoulder. He didn't even bother looking up at me when he hollered.

"We're closed."

"C'mon dude. One drink." I sighed as I walked up closer to him. He finally looked up, watching me as I sat at the bar.

"Okay." He said turning around and pouring a drink.

"Aren't you gonna ask me what I want?"

"Nope. It's a gift of mine."

I scoffed. Quite frankly I didn't care what he served me… I just wanted a drink. He turned and placed a glass in front of me. Without breaking eye contact with him I reached down and brought the rim of the glass to my lips… whiskey.

"Okay… you're good." I nodded as I set it back down. He didn't respond. Instead he turned around, putting glasses up behind the bar. I watched him and continued to sip on my drink.

"So when do you actually start serving people in this place."

"Five to five."

I nodded briefly and let my eyes wander, where they landed on a help wanted sign.

"Looking for a waitress?"

"Yep."

"What's the pay around here?"

"Sorry girl, gotta be 21."

"I am 21." I quickly lied.

"No need to lie, I'm technically not open so I technically didn't serve to you. You're just some girl that wandered in here for directions."

I laughed for a moment.

"If only you knew…"

"Knew what?" He asked, not really with peaked interest, but more or less to be polite.

"What I was actually looking for."

"Yeah well, I know these parts pretty well. I can probably point you in the right direction."

"I'm looking for a place to get more of these." I said as I pulled out the pills and set them on the counter. He stopped what he was doing and picked them up, reading the label.

"What's your name?"

"Emily."

"As in the Emily who these were prescribed to? Why don't you go see the doc?"

"It's a long story… truth is I can't guarantee I'll get a refill on those if I go there. But if I find it myself, I know what I want."

"Why do you take these Emily?" He asked me as he handed them back.

"You wouldn't get it." I said picking up the glass again and downing what was left.

"Look. Its not cheap to get these on your own… I could help you out, if you helped me."

"You can get me more?" I asked with a look of seriousness.

"I told you. I know these parts pretty well. Let's just say I know a guy… or two."

"What do you want from me?"

"When I call you for a favor. You come through. I'm gonna need you to hang around here... become a familiar face."

I sat and contemplated.

"Deal." I said reaching out and shaking his hand.

"When do you need more by?"

"Tonight."

"Damn girl… short notice. Be back here around midnight."

"Okay. I'll see you tonight…" I left the word hanging realizing I didn't get his name.

"Chase."

"Chase… I'll see you at midnight."

I left and began driving back to Bobby's. Spending my nights hanging around the bar wasn't really what I wanted… but maybe it would help. Keep my mind off of things? Keep my hands and my feet busy. I don't know. But its something. Something other than laying around. Not sleeping. Thinking.

"You've been gone a while." Bobby mused as I came back in the door.

"I got a job." I lied.

He looked at me shocked, and stood, walking over to me.

"Em, that's. That's great!" He cheered. "It'll be real good for you to get your mind on something else. To be busy. Ya know?"

"Yeah. I uh. I know." I said twisting my hands, mimicking the twisting in my gut knowing I was lying to his face. But Bobby was so excited about it. He actually smiled.

"I'm real proud of you darling." He said as he put his hands on either shoulder. I instantly bit my lip and clamped my eyes, trying to stifle a sob. But it hit me so fast that I couldn't stop my body from shaking a few times. Bobby quickly reacted and wrapped his arms around me.

"Oh kid I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you all worked up." Bobby said as he patted my back and kissed my head.

"I miss them so much." I cried, half covering my lie, and half truly missing my brothers.

"I know Em."

"I don't understand why Sam left, Bobby. Why won't he come home?"

"I don't know. If I ever find the kid I'll beat it out of him for you okay?"

I chuckled slightly and nodded.

"I'm a… I'm gonna go take a shower and get some clothes laid out. I've got to go back to work late tonight to learn how to close. So don't wait up for me."

"Okay darling. I'll leave the keys out for you."

"Thanks Uncle Bobby. I love you." I said kissing his cheeks and walking up the stairs. I shut my bedroom door and slid down the wall, letting the situation I'm in fully sink in.

At least I have a way to get the pills. Until I can figure out a better way. Until Bobby lets me off this awful house arrest. I pulled out my phone and scrolled… landing on Sam's name.

Everything in my body wanted to hit the green button. To cry to him. To tell him the truth. To tell him everything. To tell him how truly sorry I am for the things that I said. How much I hate myself. How much I hate the things I've done.

But instead I scrolled back up… landing on Judson's name instead.

I opened the empty message template and thought about what to say.

Emily: I miss you.

I laid the phone down and stood, gathering a towel and some things for my shower. Just as I was walking back towards the door the phone dinged on the bed. I sat and began to read the message.

Judson: I miss you more, how are you?

Emily: Fine.

Judson: I don't know why you still try and lie to me.

Emily: What do you expect me to say? That I don't sleep at night? That I lay in a car that won't start cause it's the only thing that feels remotely comfortable?

Judson: I'm sorry Em. I never wanted things to be like this.

Emily: No you're not. You never were.

Judson: Can I come over? So we can talk?

Emily: No. I have plans for tonight.

Judson: Oh…

Judson: Em. Just be careful, I'm here when you're ready to talk.

Emily: There's nothing to talk about. I miss you. But I can't just forget what you did… I don't know why I even texted. This obviously doesn't get me anywhere.

Judson: I'm sorry baby.

Emily: I'm not your baby anymore.

I tossed the phone off the bed and huffed in frustration, popping a pill before going to shower. I stood under the hot water and watched as the beads trailed down my arms, to my hands, where they fell in large drops from the tips of my fingers.

I focused as I followed one down, from my elbow down to the tip of my middle finger. Just as it was about to fall. It stopped, and floated in the air. The surprise of the movement shocked me and I jumped slightly, causing me to lose focus as the drop fell to the bottom of the tub.

I turned and faced the stream of water, letting it fall against my chest. I reached up and took a small handful of water. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, then I turned my hand upside down and felt as the water fell… but I never heard it hit the tub. I continued to force myself to breath steadily as I slowly opened my eyes. In front of my where my hand once was, there was a small handful of water… floating. I blinked and it all fell.

Interested I closed my eyes again and tried to picture the objects around me. I trying to focus on the shampoo bottle down to my right. I opened my eyes slowly but felt disappointed as I saw it resting where it was when I initially closed my eyes. I focused harder, pushing my brain to will it to move… still nothing.

My frustration began to grow as nothing continued to happen, and eventually I threw my hands in the air in defeat, but as I did I heard the distinct sound of glass shattering. I moved the curtain back to find the small window and a candle on the edge of the sink both in pieces.

I don't understand… why does it work when I'm angry. How the hell does it work anyways? The pills helped me to keep from freaking out, which prevents me from destroying Bobby's house. As a matter of fact I hardly use them now that I've been taking the pills. But I still had the urge to explore what I was capable of. I still wanted to develop whatever this was, so I could use it to my favor.

Maybe find a way to save Dean.

I finished my shower and carefully stepped out over the piles of glass in the floor. I dressed and walked down to the kitchen. Eating a small sandwich so that I wouldn't get hungry later tonight. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but I wanted to be prepared. I knew it would be kind of obvious if I brought my gun, so I tucked a few knives into random places.

One in my bra.

One in my shoe.

The other I clipped to the edge of my underwear in the front.

Dean always said to be prepared for anything. Never be without a way to defend yourself. I could almost hear his voice saying the words as I thought them in my head.

….

I pulled in and parked the car at the same spot on the street, but the bar that was quiet and empty is now bolstering and crowded. I walked in and the man at the door nodded me on through. I made my way through the crowd to the bar and found chase serving drinks. I sat on the stool in front of him and patiently waited until he finished, and then turned to me.

"You're early."

"Just by a few minutes… I was getting ancy."

"Let me guess, out of pills?"

"I took the last one earlier today."

"Yeah. Being empty is enough to make any addict feel ancy."

"I'm not an addict." I quickly said shooting him and offended glance. He laughed.

"Whatever you say girl."

"So why am I here?"

"Like I said. I want you to be a familiar face… facilitate some business for me."

"Mind spelling that out a little?"

"You'll find out soon enough. For now, just have a drink, play a round of pool. Relax."

"What about my stuff?"

"You'll get it when it gets here."

I nodded as he slid me a drink, then I walked away from the bar and slowly crossed the room, falling into a chair in the corner, watching the room unfold around me. The women. The booze. The way the men tailed them until they were drunk enough to fall prey.

It was sick and twisted.

The fights.

The hook ups.

When I came to the bar with Dean I never noticed these things… It was always just about having a good time, or letting Dean have a good time. I never watched the other people.

Someone in particular caught my eye. I watched as Chase walked slowly towards my table and sat down across from me. I guess I didn't notice it initially but he's pretty damn good looking. Dark hair, dark eyes. He carried himself like he had seen things… I guess that's something I pick up on lately. I can see pain in other people. Maybe I've been in pain for so long that part of me is seeking out someone who feels as miserable on this inside as I do.

"Your present arrived." He smiled.

"Santa make that delivery?"

"Something like that. You want it?"

I nodded quietly.

"C'mon." He said holding out his hand and leading me back behind the bar into the stock room. Where he reached into his back pocket and handed me a small plastic bag. The bag contained several small white pills. Just like the ones in the bottle. I felt more relaxed just looking at them. I reached for them but he pulled back, stepping forward until we were practically nose to nose. I didn't move. Didn't pull away. Didn't push forward.

He slowly placed the small bag in my hand, and then his lips against mine. I didn't hold back, reaching up with my empty hand to pull him closer to me. His hands wound around my waist and my chest rubbed against his.

He pulled away, and his hand stroked my outer thigh.

"Are you sure I don't owe you anything for these?" I mumbled nervously, pulling my eyes away from his, and sliding the bag into my pocket.

"Like I said, one day I'll ask for a favor. And for now…" He leaned in and kissed me again. "Keep coming around. You're good for business. Don't be shy to let a man in here buy you a drink. Hell, get em drunk, ring up a tab. That whiskey you like, it just so happens to be the most expensive on the menu."

"So I AM paying for the pills… just not with my money?"

He smiled. "You're not a stupid one are you?"

"No… but I am a lonely one." I added before I left the room. "I'll see you tomorrow." I called out to him. He didn't respond, but he didn't have to. I was almost to the car when someone grabbed my arm. I spun and had a knife pulled and ready to use before green eyes laid on mine.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Judson growled.

I stood in shock, part of me surprised he was here, but happy. The other part angry that he dare approach me right now.

"Emily! What are you doing here?"

"Getting a drink… and now I'm going back to Bobby's." I said ripping my arm from his hand.

"Those people in there don't have anything to offer you, so what are you doing running around with them?"

"I'm not running around with anyone! And how the fuck would you even know who I'm talking to in there? Huh?! You been following me around?"

"That doesn't matter Em. You and I both know nothing good comes out of this place."

I shook my head at him and laughed, walking towards Bobby's car.

"Emily please talk to me dammit!"

"No!" I spun and yelled. "I'm sick and tired of all the fucking talking! That's all you ever wanna do is talk talk talk! Well you did enough talking for the both of us. You and Bobby made all the decisions for me, did all the talking."

"Em I didn't wanna do that. Okay? You know me. You know the last thing I want to do is hurt you in any way… but I had to protect you from yourself! Don't you get it?! I PROMISED Dean I would do everything I could to protect you, to help you… and I'm not backing off the promise. But its getting really damn hard to protect you from a distance."

"Yeah well you shoulda thought about that before you pulled your little trick. Before you lied and cornered me! Trapped me!"

"Fine. Ya know what? You just do what ever you want to fucking do and I'll just walk away. Okay? Is that what you want?"

I stood there and let the words sink in.

Walking away. Leaving.

Just like everyone else.

"No." I whispered.

"Then let me back in Em." He said as he moved closer to me, moving to hold me, but I pulled away.

"It's not that simple."

"Tell me what to do to fix it baby… I'm trying here."

"You can't just fix it Judson. You can't just miraculously find a way to get Dean out of hell! That was my one shot and we both know it! That's why you took it away from me, right?"

"I'm sorry Em. Dean wouldn't want you down there."

"Goodbye Judson."

"Em stop! We can work this out!"

"Do not call me! Do not follow me around anymore! Stay away from me!" I yelled.

"Emily please!"

"I can't look at you anymore." I whispered as I walked back to the car and began the drive back to Bobby's. I just… I don't know what I want. I don't know what's in my head. I don't know what to do… I just. I want my brothers back.

….

 **Three weeks later**

"What do you say we get outta here?" The blonde man asked me as I leaned against the bar playfully.

"I don't wanna go." I whined with a smile. "I like it here. It's fun."

"Well, I'm not afraid of an audience as long as you're not." He said as he pulled me close to his lap. Normally I don't let a guy get this close to me, but this one was cute, and fun. And I've been enjoying the attention lately… plus after about 4 pills and a drink not much gets me riled up these days.

Downers. That's what they call them around here. I'm still not sure where Chase gets his unlimited supply, but he's not missed a delivery yet, and I've got plenty to keep my mind off of my shitty life.

"Hey pal." Chase called over to the guy, I quickly pulled away from him. "I think you've had enough."

"Oh come on man, I'm just getting started."

"Too bad, get the hell out of here, and leave the girl." Chase said as he grabbed my arm possessively and pulled me against the bar. I didn't look back up, but heard the blonde man scoff as he threw down his cash and left. I looked up to Chase, who looked angry. I wasn't sure why though?

"Let's go." He said as he yanked me backwards and almost off my feet. He dragged me down the side of the bar until he was out from behind it and pulled me into the back room.

"Let go of me!" I whined as I tried to pull away, but he shoved me against the shelf.

"What the hell was that?" He growled.

"What?! I was doing what I'm supposed to do!"

He pushed forward and greedily pressed his lips against mine, his hands roamed my body and landed on my ass, grabbing it harshly to the point where it almost hurt.

"This is mine." He growled into my ear. "Do you job without letting men touch my things."

"I. I-I'm sorry." I mumbled.

"Go home. You're done for tonight." He said as grabbed my face tightly, kissing me once more, possessively. Then he stormed out of the room.

I quickly and quietly made my way out the door and practically ran to the car.

It was becoming more and more clear that my debt to Chase was me. He owned me. Controlled me. Anything he asked I was to do without question… and I did. Thankfully he hadn't pushed me out of my clothes yet, but after tonight he made it clear another man wasn't allowed to touch me. Marking his territory tells me that one day he plans on more.

I didn't want this.

Any of this.

But I cant… I can't give up the pills. I can't function without them. And I don't know where else to find them, and for no money? I'll never find this opportunity again. I can't walk away from this now…

I walked into the house to find Bobby sitting in his study.

"You're home early." He called, I stepped into the room. "Not that I'm complaining. I've barely seen you the last couple of weeks. All you do is sleep and work."

"Yeah. I uh… I got sent home early."

"What for? You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, Uncle Bobby I'm fine." I quickly lied, looking down at the floor.

"You think I'm stupid darling?" He then said. My heart began to race, panic filled my face.

Oh god… he knows. He knows! What do I do?!

"Bobby I-" I began to try and beg, but was quickly cut off.

"I can tell when something's wrong with you. And right now I can tell by the look on your face something happened tonight… so start talking."

"Its just a guy… he got a little handsy, so they let me go home early." I quickly lied realizing he didn't actually know about the pills. My heart began to slow to its normal pace again.

"What?!" He asked standing and walking towards me. "Who was it! Do I need to come down there?"

"No! No no no, Bobby please don't. I. I don't wanna make a fuss. They threw the guy out. I promise."

"Are you sure Em? I don't want no one laying hands on my girl."

"I know. I'm fine. It's fine. I'm a, I'm gonna go to bed okay?"

"Okay darling. Night." He said as he walked past me. I quickly jogged the steps two at a time until I was behind my door. I hate lying to Bobby… I hate it all. I hate everything about it. I hate the fact that he thinks I'm doing better. I hate the look on his face.

I hate myself.

I popped the bottle in my drawer open and placed two of the pills into my mouth. Laying down on the bed and staring out the window at the full moon. Wondering where the nearest werewolf was. Wondering how many people he'll kill tonight. Wondering If I'd ever hunt again.

The urge to hunt died when Dean did.

Demons- sure. I'll take any bastard I can find and send his ass to the pit unless they're of use to me. But monsters? Ghosts? Cases?... maybe Sam's out there still fighting the good fight.

…

"Hey Chase, can we talk?" I asked as I went into the bar the next night. He nodded and I followed him to the back room.

"What's up?" He asked, as if nothing had happened the night before.

"Look. I uh. I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to let the guy get so far. It won't happen again… so please don't be mad at me."

Or really, please don't stop supplying.

He smiled, reaching up and letting his fingers run through my hair.

"I'm not mad at you girl, I just wanted to make sure you understood. I don't like it when other people touch my things."

I tried to hold back my cringe as he referred to me as his property. But at least that makes me something to somebody? I stood on my tip toes and kissed him, letting his tongue invade my mouth and his hands scour my body.

I didn't hate it.

I hated the way he looked at me, but not the way he touched me.

Odd isn't it? What we're willing to overlook when we're getting the things we want.

He continued to trail his lips down my jaw and my neck, up to my ear.

"I have something I want you to try…" He cooed.

"What is it?"

"It's something that'll make you feel really good. I promise."

"Okay." I agreed nervously.

"This is gonna take you to new places girl. Open your mouth."

I did as I was told and let him place a powdery substance under my tongue. It tasted sweet but bitter all at the same time, I had the urge to spit it out but he held my mouth shut.

"Let it dissolve." He commanded. I swallowed and waited as the taste began to lessen in my mouth, replaced by a tingly sensation, almost burning.

"C'mon, lets go have some fun." He said as he led me back to the bar. I was handed my regular drink and I watched as the people danced and laughed, but soon they all began to look funny. They moved in weird ways.

The whole room moved, shifting to the left or the right suddenly without warning. Their voices, were somehow louder and deeper.

My head felt like it was spinning.

"Chase…" I mumbled. Looking around for him, but he was out of sight.

"Chase!" I called, as I stood off the stool. But when I did the entire room began to spin. I moved, but I'm not sure in what direction. I couldn't tell if I was walking or floating.

"Chase!" I began to spin, faces blurring… until they became familiar.

Dean.

Sam.

Chase.

Bobby.

Judson.

Demons.

Yellow eyes.

Lillith.

They all chased me, moving closer and further away as I called out for Chase, but then they turned into cries for someone else.

I turned, and Judson was right in front of me. Except he wasn't really, So I ran… walking past Dean. Covered in blood.

Sam. Black eyes…

What's wrong with me!

Why won't it stop!

Like a carousel the room just kept spinning… I made a run for the bathroom but it felt like my legs were horizontal instead of vertical as I moved, the entire room leaning to the right. I made to the sink and tried to splash the water on my face, but it changed colors and I couldn't feel it.

I couldn't reach it. My hands were just slipping through it.

I reached into my pocket as I fell on what I think was the ground, maybe it was the ceiling… I don't really know at this point. I hit the number 4 and pressed the green button, at least I think it was the green one. I prayed… prayed for the phone to ring.

…

(Third Person POV)

Bobby moved from the study to the kitchen to get a refill on his drink. He was used to spending the nights alone. He always had, and with Emily working every night he was able to get back into the solidary and comfortable routine.

A night cap… or ten.

Research and finding cases, assigning hunters, answering calls. It was his norm, and he was happy to be back to it for the most part.

He still worried for Emily, knowing her grief was much larger than she knew how to process, but he was happy she was putting her time towards something positive. He was happy she was here, with him.

Now if only he could get Sam to come back, and the two of them could help each other.

His mind wandered to the call he received early in the day… someone pretending to be Dean. A cruel joke, probably intended for Emily to answer instead of him, but thankfully she was still asleep.

He sat down at the desk again and was preparing to dive back into translating the book in front of him when a knock at the door caught his attention. He grabbed his revolver and made his way to the door, opening it without hesitation.

What he saw caused his heart to nearly stop.

"Surprise!" Dean sighed as if he was out of breath. Bobby knew instantly this was a trap of some sort, a trick, but he had to get the monster in closer to make his move.

"I, I don't..." Bobby stuttered, faking his stunned expression.

"Yeah, me neither." Dean laughed as he entered the doorway. "But here I am."

Bobby quickly took his hand off the gun and reached instead for the silver knife, lunging forward and slashing at Dean's arm. Dean grabs him and twists him around, but Bobby breaks the grip and backhands him across the face.

"Bobby! It's me!" The assumed monster yelled. No possible way could this be Dean and Bobby knew it.

"My ass!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Your name is Robert Steven Singer. You became a hunter after your wife got possessed, and... you're about the closest thing I have to a father. Bobby. It's me." Dean pleaded. Bobby lowered he knife, walking forward and placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, but then he quickly reached up to cut him and Dean returned his action just as quick, disarming him in the process.

"I am not a shapeshifter!"

"Then you're a Revenant!"

"Alright. If I was either, could I do this – with a silver knife?" Dean rolled up his sleeve and bit his lip as he let the blade slide against his skin, blood trailing down his arm.

"Dean?" Bobby asked in true disbelief. His heart knew the boy in front of him was his, but his mind warned him again and again it could only be a trick.

"That's what I've been trying to tell you." Dean sighed.

Bobby grabbed Dean and pulled him in for a tight hug, which Dean returned enthusiastically, relief falling on his face as he finally felt like he was back with his family. He hugged Bobby and thought about how amazing it felt to be here again. To be alive. To breathe.

"It's... It's good to see you, boy." Bobby said as they pulled apart.

"Yeah, you too."

"But... how did you bust out?"

"I don't know. I just, uh, I just woke up in a pine box..."

Suddenly Bobby threw holy water in Dean's face, causing him to pause, then spit it out.

"I'm not a demon either, you know." He smiled sarcastically.

"Sorry. Can't be too careful." Bobby shrugged.

"Where are Em and Sam?" Dean asked, feeling his heart leap at the thought of just seeing them, let alone grabbing them into his arms. His whole mission since he climbed out of the box has been to get back to them, and he didn't want to wait a second longer.

"Oh uh. Well… Emily is at work."

"Work?" Dean asked confused.

"Yeah. She uh. Got a job, about a month ago."

"What about hunting?" Dean asked confused.

"Look boy, there's a lot to talk about, why don't we wait till she gets home."

"Okay, she get off soon? Its almost midnight."

"No, she uh, she works nights, she'll be home about the time the sun starts to come up."

"Oh." Dean said, feeling the disappointment in having to wait. "Well what about Sam?"

Dean didn't miss as Bobby's face contorted into a look of anger, quickly replaced by sadness, and the unwillingness to talk.

"He uh. He's not here Dean." The old hunter finally mumbled.

"What do you mean he's not here? If he's not here then where the hell is he? And why the hell are you making that face?!"

"Look Dean some thi-" Bobby's ringing phone cut him off, he looked down at the caller ID. "Gimme a sec, it's your sister."

Dean's heart fluttered at the thought of hearing her voice again.

"Hello?" Bobby answered.

"Bobby!" Emily cried. "I- it won't stop moving!"

"What?! Emily?"

Dean instantly picked up on Bobby's change in posture and tone of voice. He moved to where his ear was closer to the phone, trying desperately to listen.

"They're here! They're all here… they're everywhere. I see Dean! And-and Sam! And the demons Uncle Bobby! Make it stop! They're all spinning."

Bobby couldn't understand for a second what in the hell she was rambling on about but he knew one thing, she wouldn't call if she didn't need him, and by god he was going to get to her.

"Okay, okay darling, take a breath, now where are you?"

Dean's heart raced. He JUST got back, he couldn't bare the thought of losing her without ever getting to see her again. It's all he thought about in hell. Emily and Sam were the only thing that lessened the pain, thinking of them was the only sliver of joy he had… at least for a while.

"Th-the bar… on Bridgewood."

"Okay, you stay there. I'm coming to get you."

"No! Bobby… No… he's gonna be really angry." She mumbled into the phone.

"Who?" Bobby tried to ask but the line cut off. Bobby quickly grabbed his keys off the counter and Dean was hot on his tail.

"What the hell's going on Bobby!" Dean demanded.

"I don't know boy! You heard as much as I did."

"I thought you said she was at work?! She works at the bar?"

"Dammit Dean I don't know! I didn't ask okay? I was just happy she was doing something other than moping around!"

"You were supposed to take care of her!" Dean yelled frantically, not really angry at the man, but more or less scared and upset.

"I'm trying here Dean! You don't know what's all happened to that poor girl since you left. So shut up and let me drive."

Dean grunted feeling slightly guilty, but more anxious than anything. Bobby flew down the main roads in town until he came up to the bar. He recognized this as the bar all the younger crowd in town hung out in, it was known for being a major source of drug suppliers, and he knew if Emily was inside, chances were she was roofied, which would explain the rambling and nonsense.

Dean and Bobby both got out of the car and began to walk in.

"That's my car… she's here." Bobby said as he pointed to the old junker on the other side of the road. Dean then took off at a jogging pace, throwing the door open to get inside, he and Bobby both began to push through the crowd and call out her name.

"Em!" Dean called, seeing no sign of her frightened him. "Bobby I can't find her!"

"Check the bathrooms, I'll check the other end of the bar." Bobby nodded to him. Dean quickly went down the small hallway leading to the bathrooms, he checked the men's first and was almost grateful not to find her inside. Then he moved over to the women's, knocking quickly hoping if someone was inside they'd respond. When he got no answer he slowly pushed the door open.

Sunk into the corner was a girl he barely recognized, but he'd know those brown eyes anywhere.

"Emily!" He cried in relief and joy, he rushed to grab her in his arms but she scurried away from him in fear and begged for things to stop spinning.

"Em, babygirl! It's me!" Dean pleaded with her softly, but it was clear then that she wasn't really seeing him, but through him.

Bobby came through the door behind him, and carefully kneeled and approached her the same way Dean had.

"Darling, it's Bobby. Can you see me?" He asked as he held her face between his hands, her pupils were dilated and he could feel her heart racing as he grabbed her wrist. She barely nodded as her eyes wandered past him and back to Dean.

"Uncle Bobby! He's everywhere… I. I see him everywhere!" She cried, obviously hallucinating as her eyes went from the ceiling to the corner.

"She's on something." Bobby mumbled to Dean. "Lets get her out of here."

"Em, can you walk?" Bobby asked her.

"I-I don't know." She said as he stood, pulling her to stand next to him.

"I gotcha Em, come on, let's go home."

"He's gonna be really mad if I leave!"

"Who Em?" Dean asked, but as she looked at him he only saw more fear and pain on her face. It slowly sunk in that she didn't realize he was ACTUALLY there. She saw him and assumed she was still hallucinating.

Bobby led her out the door carefully as she swayed side to side, feeling as if she was walking on the walls instead of the actual floors. Once in the car she laid down in the backseat, and Bobby told her to shut her eyes for the drive home, trying to lower the amount of stimulation around her, hoping it would lessen the effectiveness of the drug to be in a dark quiet place.

"I. I'm sorry Uncle Bobby." She mumbled as he drove.

"It's okay darling. It's all gonna be okay."

"I don't like lying to you about it." Bobby looked at Dean with a confused expression, neither of them pushed, hoping she would accidentally confess the rest of her thoughts. "I just can't stop! I need it Bobby… I need it."

"What the hell is she talking about?" Dean asked.

"Do I really look like I know the answer to that question?" Bobby replied sarcastically.

"No." Dean mumbled.

"Let's just get her home, and let this junk wear off… get her sobered up. Then we can talk."

Dean nodded and turned around to watch as Emily stared at him in awe, and then she would cry… begging for the hallucinations to go away. For the images of him to go away.

This wasn't the girl he raised. This wasn't the girl he knew was strong and fearless. This girl was weak and broken, this girl was lost. His Emily was courageous and pushed through the darkness to find the light… and the girl he looked at now, was swimming in blackness.

She was pale and thinner than she had been when he died. The bags under her eyes were darker and more prominent, as if they had become a permanent part of her features. Her hair was tattered and unkept, which was something she would have never allowed in her right mind. Her nails were worn down from chewing, something she hated and a habit he broke her of years ago. The clothes she wore weren't ones he had ever seen before. They were new. They were revealing. They weren't hers, they couldn't be.

"Bobby." He asked quietly. "Where is Sam?"

Bobby sighed, debating how to answer the question.

"I don't know Dean… he left. A few weeks after you died."

"He didn't take Em with him?"

"No… He uh…" Bobby paused, debating on telling Dean the truth. "He just left."

"And neither of you have heard from him since? Do you even know if he's alive?"

"Look Dean. I was doing everything I could to keep that girl back there treading water, hell half the time she was trying to drown. Now I've reached out to Sam and so has she, but I'm not going to put my efforts into dragging his ass back until I had her under control. You just… you don't understand what it was like."

"Well then enlighten me Bobby!" Dean said frustrated. "I knew it wasn't gonna be a walk in the fucking park but look at her! She's not even her anymore!"

"Boy. Don't you take that tone with me… when she wakes up. You have that conversation with her. We have done EVERYTHING we could to just keep her breathing day in and day out."

"I'm sorry Bobby… I just. I don't get it." He paused. "And where the hell is Judson in all this?"

"Em sent him away, about a month ago."

"Why?"

"Because he stood in her way of getting to you."

"What do you mean getting to me?"

"I mean she's done nothing but fight tooth and nail to get you back to the surface, she was prepared to walk her happy ass down there."

The thought of Emily in the pit made Dean's entire body feel weak. He stopped the thought from going any further, knowing his heart couldn't bear the pain of picturing her there… on that slab of concrete.

"Bobby… did she do this? Is this why I'm back?"

"To be honest boy, I don't know. We'll have to ask her that tomorrow."

Once back to the house, Bobby half walked, half carried Emily back inside the house, laying her on the couch, so that if she fell it wouldn't be as far of a drop as her bed, plus he wasn't quite sure she could make it up the stairs right now.

He gave her a cup of hot tea, and had to repeatedly tell her to lay down and keep her eyes closed. She seemed to still hallucinate, but it wasn't as bad if she kept her eyes shut. Dean watched her every movement, heard her whimper as she struggled to fall asleep. Finally her body gave in to the adrenaline it had been running and she crashed, sending her into a deep sleep.

"You should get washed up Dean, we've got a lot to talk about tomorrow."

"We need to find Sam."

"Yeah, we'll do that."

"What if he made a Deal Bobby…"

"Then we'll figure it out. Now go take a shower, you smell like dirt."

Dean half chuckled as the old man gave him a hand and helped pull him to his feet from where he sat on the ground next to the couch Emily slept on. It was so odd to be so close to her, yet still have to keep his distance. He couldn't wait for her to wake up. For her to see him. To know he's truly there. He wanted to hold her again, to make things better. To find Sam, for them to all be a family again, to be on the road, as a team.

He walked up the stairs and wandered into Emily's room. There he found his bag, containing all his clothes… he noticed several items were missing, and knew that was because Emily was wearing them. But he picked out a few that he hoped were clean and went to shower.

The grave dirt washed off of him and revealed the hand print on his shoulder. He hadn't showed it to Bobby yet, or to anyone. Quite frankly it scared him just a little. Whatever the hell left it must have been one powerful son of a bitch.

He finished washing and put his clothes on before walking back down the stairs. Emily's sleeping form was still. He couldn't stand to be on the other side of the room, away from her, so instead he moved the mattress from her bed down the stairs and laid it beside the couch on the floor, knowing that there was a good chance she could roll off in the middle of the night he left the side closest to the couch open, and let himself sleep.

….

(Emily's POV)

You know that groggy heavy feeling you get when you wake up at 2 in the morning just to pee? No real intentions on getting up, just making a quick stop to the toilet before returning back to your slumber. Hell you don't even open your eyes all the way.

That's the way it felt all over. That's the way it felt in my hands. In my feet.

My head pounded.

I tried to remember the things that happened the night before, but it was all a blur after the stock room… I somehow remembered seeing Dean, and Sam, and Bobby, and the demons, and Judson… But I must have been hallucinating. I slowly dragged open my eyelids and they landed on the ceiling that I instantly recognized to be Bobby's living room.

Why was I down here instead of in my bed? I stretched trying to wake my heavy limbs but when I did I lost my balance and rolled off the couch, I expected to land on the hard floor, but was surprised as I landed on a mattress instead.

I quickly looked to my right and began to panic.

"Bobby!" I yelled, but no matter how many times I closed and reopened my eyes the image of Dean in front of me wouldn't disappear.

"Bobby!" I cried, he came running down the stairs and I turned to look at him.

"Please make it stop! I keep seeing him! I- it hurts… Bobby please!" I rocked back and forth with the heels of my hands digging into my eye sockets.

"Emily, babygirl it's me." Dean's voice flowed through my head. It was painful how real it sounded.

"Please!" I begged… "I won't do them again! Please I'll stop taking them! I promise Bobby! Just make it stop…"

"Emily!" Bobby said shaking my shoulders. "Emily look at me!"

I finally pried my hands away from my face, but shook in fear as I could still see the form of Dean's face over his shoulder, staring at me in concern.

It was so real… the detail on his face, the look in his eyes. It twisted my soul until it screamed.

"Emily!" Bobby said snapping his fingers in front of my face. "Em its Dean… It's really him."

"No no no no no…" I cried dropping my head again. Knowing this was all just a sick trick my mind was playing on me.

"Babygirl… it's me." Dean's voice moved closer to me, it sounded like rain after a long draught. Filling my ears and my mind with memories.

"Dean…" I cried. Knowing even though he couldn't really hear me I could at least pretend to talk back.

"Emily Anne… open your eyes. I'm right here."

Rough hands were on mine, they were warm, and familiar. They pulled gently and I slowly pushed my eyes to open again, trying to see clearly through the salty haze.

"It's me kiddo." Dean's face was in front of mine, a single tear fell down his cheek as he tried to force himself to smile.

I shook my head.

"No… I. I tried so hard. I'm so sorry Dean, I can't save you." I cried.

"Em, listen to me. Hear my voice. Its real! Do you feel this?" He asked as he squeezed his hands around mine. I stared for a second, realizing that the room wasn't still spinning, and that my head was still foggy but was becoming clearer by the second.

I looked up again, still expecting the man before me to disappear.

But he didn't.

"Kiddo, I'm back… I'm right here." He said as he placed my hand against his beating heart.

I gasped.

Nothing in the world could mimic the beating of his heart. I'd listened to it so many times over the last year I memorized everything about it. Nothing could fake that… no hallucination. No dream.

"Dean?!" I asked, letting all sense of hope run ramped in my heart. It may hurt like hell if it's not real…. But what if.

What if.

"Yeah kiddo its me!" Dean smiled, another tear trying to break its way free from his piercing green eyes. I lunged my body forward and wrapped myself around Dean like a tree trunk. Sobs left my body uncontrollably as I took every second as another reassurance that I wasn't actually dreaming.

That dean was HERE.

Dean was ALIVE.

He squeezed me over and over again as he gently rocked us back and forth.

"De I- I missed you so much!" I sobbed into his neck.

"I know Em, I missed you too. Every day… Every damn day."

"I can't believe you're back!" I smiled and cried at the same time as I pulled back to look into his face. He chuckled and kissed my forehead before hugging me again, I settled into his arms like I always had.

"Me too kiddo… but we have a lot to talk about."


	66. Chapter 66

"We need to talk kiddo." Dean mumbled.

"I don't want to talk yet." I whispered back, my face hidden from his as I held myself still wrapped around him. I haven't let go of him for even a second in the last hour. I've just held him. Breathed in his scent. Made sure time after time after time that this was in fact real. Not a trick. Not the drugs. That MY Dean was back.

How?

I don't give a flying fuck how. He's back and that's all that matters.

"Emily, we gotta talk eventually."

I didn't answer him, instead I Just wrapped my arms a little tighter, buried my face a little deeper. I just wanted to hide. To run away in his safety and never come back out.

To run away from this mess I've made.

I don't want to deal with it. I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to look at it, not even think about it.

"Em, when do you stop talking to me? Huh? We've always been able to talk about everything."

But If I tell you… you'll hate me. You'll look at me differently. You'll be disappointed in me, and right now I can't handle that. I just got you back, and I don't want to fight already. I don't want problems. I just… I want us to be the Winchester kids again. Us against the world.

Dean moved to pull me away from him, but I tightened my grip and clung to him

"C'mon kiddo. I missed you. I missed our talks… you have no idea how bad I just want to talk to you."

I slowly released him and pulled back, looking at him as I did. His eyes, they were that same green I'd stared into my entire life… except there was something a little darker behind them. Something a little haunted. All of a sudden the curiosity struck me.

"What… what was it like?" I mumbled to him.

He stared at me for a while before answering.

"I don't remember."

I knew he was lying, but for Dean to lie to my face, it must be something he can't bear to talk about… and right now I kinda understand that so I didn't push.

"How did you get out?"

"Funny." He said raising his eyebrows. "I was gonna ask you that same question."

I let out a humorless laugh.

"Dean… I." I stopped when my voice cracked. "I did everything. EVERYTHING. I could to bring you back, and I failed. Over and over again. This wasn't me. I promise."

"You didn't sell your soul? You didn't make a deal to bring me back?" He asked specifically.

"I tried." I whispered.

"You what?!"

"I tried Dean." I said weakly, feeling the anger roll off his shoulders. "They wouldn't take me. I begged them. I threatened them, and I killed them to make my point. But no one would make the deal."

"You swear?"

"Yes. Dean, I swear."

"What happened with Sam?"

My face cringed just hearing the question. One of the many I dreaded hearing during this 'talk' of ours. I ran my hand through my hair and looked down at my feet. Guilt rolling into my stomach like a tidal wave.

"Emily. Tell me what happened with Sam."

I looked up and met eyes with Bobby, who I know was pushing me to tell Dean the truth. Tell him about how Sam hit me. Left me lying in the dirt. But I can't.

"I don't know… he just. Left."

"Nothing happened? He just up and left?" Dean asked, obviously not buying it. I briefly caught Bobby rolling his eyes.

"Look Dean he did it before, does it honestly surprise you?"

"Yeah Em. It does… we talked this thing out. He was gonna be here. You and him were gonna be okay. We had a plan! And I can't see him just running out on the plan."

"Well he did! Okay?! He left. And just like when he left for Stanford he didn't bother to answer a single fucking phone call! Didn't bother to let us know where he was or if he was alive, he just disappeared! So if you wanna know why then take that up with him." My words were broken sobs by the end of it. The guilt. The pain of losing Sam. The fear of Dean finding out the truth. All of it battling in my head. Dean reached up and wiped my cheeks, rubbing them with his thumbs, I pulled in one long breath and paused before letting it drag out, calming me again.

"We'll deal with Sam later, okay?"

I nodded.

"How about we talk about what happened last night?" He asked softly.

"Its all fuzzy." I half lied. Yeah. Its fuzzy… but I know what I did. I know I took something, I just don't know what. And I know what I was doing in that bar. Speaking of that bar… Chase is gonna be pissed. I need to text him fast. Tell him I got sick or something.

"What do you remember?"

"I don't know."

Dean sighed, I could tell he was getting frustrated.

"Emily, you and I both know that you're hiding something here. Why were you at that bar last night?"

"I. I've been working there." … Sorta.

"Why didn't you tell me that's where you were working?" Bobby asked cutting in.

"I didn't think you'd let me keep the job." I replied.

"Well you're right about that. Darling do you know what goes on in that place?"

"More than you know." I whispered.

"What happened last night Em?" Dean asked.

"I just… I must have taken something not realizing what was in it or something."

"Yeah, ya see I don't think that's true." Dean said his eyes boring into mine. "Em, when we were taking you home last night you were talking about things. About someone being mad at you? About taking things. Needing them?"

I started to feel the panic climb up in my throat, I was frozen. Bobby and Dean both staring at me. I didn't know what to say. How to get out of this one… I'm fucking busted.

"Em?" Dean pushed.

I panicked and got up, turning to walk and go up the stairs.

"Emily wait! Where are you going?!" Dean said as he chased after me.

"I. I gotta go… I, he's gonna be mad. I can't… I have to tell him I'm sorry."

"Who?" Dean asked grabbing me by my shoulders and spinning me around to face him. I could feel the words crawling up my throat like vomit. Unstoppable.

"I. Chase… he. He's gonna be mad! I left without permission, and-and he might have saw you touch me. He doesn't like it when people touch me! If-if I don't go back then he won't give them to me anymore… I. I need them Dean! I'm so sorry!"

"Whoa whoa whoa, Emily what are you talking about?! What the hell is them?"

I looked away from him, self hate and shame taking over.

"The pills." I whispered.

"The what?!" He asked angry, a look of shock on his face… I fell into sobs, only being held up by Dean's arms around me. I didn't want to tell him… I didn't, but I couldn't stop the words from pouring out of my mouth. "Emily look at me!" He demanded.

"Are you on drugs?" He asked barely above a whisper. "Did you take something on purpose last night?"

"I'm sorry!" I cried. Over and over again. Dean held me, without asking anymore questions. Without saying another word. Until I eventually started to calm down, then he pulled back and held my face.

"Was that guy at the bar giving you the drugs? Is that why you were there?"

I nodded slowly. Seeing the anger in his eyes.

"Did he force you to have sex with him for drugs?"

"No."

"Did he ever touch you?" I tried to ignore the question, but Dean shook me slightly, pushing for one.

"Yes." I whispered. As soon as he had his answer he released me and stormed down the stairs.

"Dean wait! Dean! Please don't! He's gonna be really mad at me!" I cried chasing him down the steps.

"Emily he doesn't own you! You are not his property! Stay here with Bobby." He commanded before storming out the front door. I begged for him to stop, but he didn't. He peeled out of the drive way in Bobby's old car and disappeared into the dust.

"Emily…" Bobby's voice called from behind me. "Why did you lie to me?"

"I couldn't tell you the truth Uncle Bobby. You would have taken them away… you would have stopped me. I need them. They're the only thing that keeps me sane every day."

"I'm so disappointed in you." He said shaking his head, then he moved to leave the room.

I melted onto the floor and waited…

….

I must have dozed off but the sound of a car door slamming woke me quickly. I stood as I heard footsteps coming up the porch, Dean bursted through the door, breathing heavy. Blood covering his hands, splattered on his face and his shirt.

"Did you kill him?" I asked shakily.

"No. But I should have… upstairs now." He pushed as he walked towards me. He followed me into my room.

"Show me them. All of them."

"What?" I asked confused.

"The pills Em… I want them. Now." He huffed.

I hesitantly moved, pulling the first bag out of my duffle. The second bag, much smaller out of my pocket from last night's jeans. A third, hidden away under the mattress, and last but not least. The bottle that started it all.

He took them from my hands and began to walk back down the stairs. I followed in silence. He stormed into the kitchen and turned on the garbage disposal, emptying the first bag of pills down the drain. It almost physically hurt to watch. I tried to hold back the tears.

"Now wait a second boy!" Bobby said storming in and taking the remainder of the pills from his hands.

"What the hell Bobby?! They're drugs! I'm getting them out of this house!" Dean yelled.

"Shut up and listen!" Bobby yelled back. Then he spoke in a calm manner as he examined the pills. "Now do you know what these are?"

"They're drugs Bobby!"

"They're called benzodiazepines. And they're highly addictive. Now once you start taking these, you can't just quit cold turkey, you can die from it. The body can't tolerate the withdrawal."

"So what you want me to keep feeding her the damn pills? Want me to be her new drug dealer?!" Dean asked angrily.

"I'm saying we have to wean her off of them… we can't just trash them all."

"Fine!" Dean said slamming the switch to turn off the garbage disposal.

"How many were you taking a day?" Dean looked to me and asked. The anger on his face made me scared to answer. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. "Emily! Dammit how many?"

"F-five or six."

"God!" Dean scoffed loudly, spinning in a circle, his hand squeezing the bridge of his nose.

"You couldn't tell she was strung out?" He then turned and asked Bobby.

"Boy. Watch your tone with me… You don't know what it was like around here. You don't know what she was like… quite frankly I don't think even you would have noticed the difference between her grief and being high!"

"I… I can't even believe this." Dean scoffed again. I felt shame overtake me, and I slowly left the room, going back upstairs and locking the door behind me. Pulling out the one and only bag I didn't give Dean. Popping 2 of the pills and laying on the bed, wishing sleep would overtake me.

…..

(Third Person POV)

Dean continued to pace the kitchen, as Bobby sat down and counted out the number of pills that they had left, Dean had washed more than half down the sink before Bobby could stop him.

"We've got about 30 pills here, enough to wean her down. Should take a couple of weeks."

Dean continued to pace. Hearing Bobby but not responding.

"Dean. You gonna keep wearing holes in my floors or are you gonna sit down and help me figure this out?"

"How could you not notice this Bobby?" Dean finally stopped and asked. Bobby sighed. "How could you let this happen."

"Dean… We don't know when she started these, or how long she's been on em. These are things we need to know. You need to go talk to her. Calmly."

"I don't want to talk to her."

"Dammit Dean… don't you get it?! That girl is fucked up right now! Okay? She is broken, and all she was trying to do was find a way to fix herself. Now was it a shitty band aid? Hell yeah it was! But she's young and stupid, and if you think for a second this is the worst thing she's done since you've been gone then you're probably wrong."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"I don't know, Dean. Why don't you go upstairs and ask her. Look, she was desperate to get you back. She was going to march into hell and fight for your life, and now that you're back she's so ashamed she can hardly look you in the eye. She needs you right now, Dean. Especially with Sam leaving… the way things went down."

"Why don't you elaborate on that Bobby?"

"Its not my place boy. That's between your siblings."

Dean considered Bobby's words, but he wasn't ready. Wasn't calm enough to approach the situation yet. So instead he wandered outside, where he found the beloved impala. He smiled, seeing her again. He walked and sat in the driver's seat, gripping the wheel between his hands. His eyes trailed and landed on the dreamcatcher hanging from the rearview mirror. The same one he bought and tucked away, he ran his fingers over the feathers, and he wondered what it was truly like over the last four months. It was obvious he was being lied to, that he wasn't being given the whole truth.

Could it have been as bad as they make it to be?

And where the hell is his brother in all of this? Or Judson. The dumb kid who he finally gained a liking to. Where are the people who promised to keep his sister safe? He continued to rifle through the random things in the impala, but he paused as he landed on a small folded piece of paper. He instantly recognized it as the letter he left for Emily, and then just as quickly he realized it was never opened.

He sighed and his eyes trailed up to the house, to the second story window on the right.

He then moved to climb out of the car and walk back into the house, note in hand he made his way up the stairs and towards Emily's room. He gently knocked, but there was no response. He pushed open the door and found her asleep on the bed. He sighed and walked over, sitting beside her and pushing her hair out of her face.

Bobby was right… she was so fragile. Like glass. When did she become so breakable? What has she done for the last four months? What happened to her. She began to stir awake and he hoped he might get some kind of an answer. She stretched and sighed, slowly opening her eyes, meeting them with Dean's. She swallowed, pulling her eyes back down.

"I'm sorry I was angry." Dean said.

"Its okay, I deserved it."

"Emily… what happened babygirl?"

"Everything was so hard." She whispered. "Too hard… I couldn't get up, I couldn't do anything. I needed help."

"When did you start taking them?"

"A couple of months before you died."

The answer took him by surprise. For two months, she took them while under HIS care. And not once did he notice… he suddenly felt guilty about yelling at Bobby for missing the signs.

"Where did you get them?"

"When you made me see the shrink on that asylum case a while back, the guy got me talking about my panic attacks. Said I relied on you too much… that these would help me. I just, held onto them. Forgot about them… but once I started them I couldn't stop."

"Why did you take them?"

"First it was just one here or there to help me sleep, and the closer it got to you going to hell, the more stressed out I felt. And my abilities were really touchy, and so I would take one to help relax, keep from destroying every place we went…"

"How did it turn into five or six a day sweetheart? That's a lot… do you realize you could have overdosed? You're lucky to still be alive."

"I'm sorry Dean." She sighed sitting up, they both sat back against the headboard and he wrapped an arm around her, she leaned into him, holding on for life. "Things just got worse… and I. I wanted to stop hurting, and the pills and the alcohol. It made me numb. It made getting up each day tolerable."

"How did you get mixed up with the guy at the bar?"

"I was running out. I had to find more… He. He told me if I kept the men at the bar spending money on me, that it would count as pay off for the pills. But. He had rules. I had to be there during certain hours. I wasn't allowed to leave. I wasn't allowed to speak to other people until I was given permission, and I wasn't allowed to let anyone but him touch me…"

"Why did you listen to him Em? You're smarter than that. I've never seen you let someone else control your life like that… and for it to be some dumbass guy?! You're so much better than that."

"But I haven't been that person lately Dean… I'm not." She paused picking her next words carefully. "I'm not the same person I used to be."

"Hey, look at me." Dean said pulling her face up. "You're still my Emily. No matter what you did, okay?"

"Dean. I… I did a lot of stupid things. Horrible things." Emily cried into him. He held her, rocking them back and forth. No matter what she said he knew it didn't compare to the things he had done during his time in hell. Nothing she did could make her lesser of a person. Not to him… not to a monster.

Dean carefully pulled the folded up piece of paper out of his pocket.

"You never opened this did you?"

Emily looked up, pulling the paper from his hands.

"I tried. A hundred times. Everytime I went to open it I stopped. I just… I couldn't. I was afraid of what it said."

Dean took it back from her and unfolded the worn down corners, letting the paper fold itself open. There were only a few words written on the inside.

" _I'll always love you babygirl, don't let this life beat you. You're stronger than anything you face."_

"Not so scary huh?" Dean joked.

Emily wondered if she had read these words months ago, would they have been enough to stop her from falling down the path that led her to be the blubbering mess she is right now? She sat up and pulled away form him, digging into the bedside drawer, when she turned back to face him she had another small bag of pills in her hand.

"Here." She whispered. "These are the last ones. I promise… I don't want them anymore."

Dean nodded in silence and took them from her hand. She laid back against him and they both drifted to sleep, for the first time in weeks, Emily felt like maybe. Just maybe there was hope for her to rip herself from the trench she'd dug.

…

(Emily's POV)

"Why did you bury me, anyway?" Dean asked as we sat around the table eating breakfast.

"I wanted you salted and burned. Usual drill. But... Sam wouldn't have it." Bobby replied.

"I didn't get a vote." I said shooting eyes at Bobby.

"Hey. That's my choice… not his." Dean corrected me. "And I'm glad Sam won that one."

"He said you'd need a body when he got you back home somehow. That's about all he said."

"What do you mean?"

I leaned in and listened as Bobby spoke.

"He was quiet that night… barely said a word. I assumed it was the shock."

"Dammit Sammy… whatever he did, it is bad mojo."

"Do you really think it was Sam? What makes you so sure?" I asked.

"You should have seen the grave site. It was like a nuke went off. And then there was this... this force, this presence, I don't know, but it, it blew past me at a fill-up joint. And then this." Dean stood and lifted his sleeve, revealing a large hand print scarred into his skin.

"What in the hell?" Bobby asked. I reached out and touched it, it felt like burned skin, but was healed as if it happened years ago.

"It was like a demon just yanked me out. Or rode me out."

"But why?" I asked.

"To hold up their end of the bargain." Dean sighed.

"You think Sam made a deal." Bobby asked.

"He didn't." I interrupted.

"How do you know?"

"When… When Judson and I summoned a demon at the crossroads she made the comment about seeing Sam. That he had summoned at the crossroads recently. But they wouldn't take him either."

"Demons lie Em." Dean said.

"Well. Lets find him and find out." Bobby added.

Dean began to dial the phone company, trying to get a trace on Sam's cell phone. I sat back and watched… wondering what kind of a mess Sam would be when we find him. Wondering if Sam is as fucked up as I am. Did he make the mistakes I made? Does he hurt the way I hurt?

"Yeah, hi, I have a cell phone account with you guys, and uh, I lost my phone. I was wondering if you could turn the GPS on for me… Yeah. Name's Wedge Antilles… Social is 2-4-7-4. Thank you." Dean spoke kindly into the phone, must be a woman on the other line.

"How'd you know he'd use that name?" Bobby asked.

"You kiddin' me? What don't I know about that kid?"

Dean opened the laptop, I stood behind him leaning over his shoulders as he searched for the phone signal. "Hey, Bobby? What's the deal with the liquor store? What, are your parents out of town or something?" Dean asked as he began pushing around empty liquor bottles.

"Like I said. Last few months ain't been all that easy."

"Right." Dean said locking eyes with me. Thankfully the laptop beeped and pulled our attention back. "Sam's in Pontiac, Illinois."

"Right near where you were planted." Bobby added.

"Right where I popped up. Hell of a coincidence, don't you think?"

We began to pack the impala, and Bobby reassembled whatever parts it was he removed so that I couldn't use it. Then a thought struck me..

"Bobby. I can't leave." I said looking up to him, his face was confused at first, but then it sank into realization.

"Shit. I almost forgot darling."

"Can't you just reverse it?" I asked.

"Reverse what?" Dean pipped in.

"We put Emily under a spell, so she couldn't run off again… if she goes outside of 20 miles of this house she becomes unconscious until she's returned."

"So then reverse it?"

"I can't." Bobby sighed. "It wasn't my blood that made the binding link."

"Oh fuck me!" I groaned lightly banging my head against my hand.

"Sorry darling, you're gonna have to call him."

"I'm not calling anyone! You call him!" I demanded.

"Who?" Dean interjected.

"Judson." Bobby sighed.

"OH." Dean's mouth formed an O shape and stayed that way for a moment. "So uh, I guess you guys ended badly?"

"What do you think?" I asked him sarcastically.

"Right. We'll call him." Dean nodded.

….

I sat on the couch, butterflies in my stomach, Judson and I haven't spoken in a few weeks… I miss him. Part of me wants to run to him and shove my lips against his. The other part wants to rub Dean being alive in his face. Wants to beat him senseless for standing in my way.

I bounced my knee incessantly. Until Dean's hand landed on top of it. Holding it down.

"Seriously? Its Judson… This guy and you have history. Why are you so nervous?"

"I don't know De." I sighed. "I just… I don't know."

Two knocks on the door. My heart froze and nearly leapt out of my chest. Bobby went to answer the door and I crushed my hand around Dean's arm. He jumped slightly at the intensity of it, I released and mouthed 'sorry'.

"Bobby. What's all this about?" Judson asked as he stepped through the door, but a moment later he looked up and to the left, where his eyes landed on Dean and I laying on the couch.

"Holy shit." He breathed. "Is… is this real?"

"Yeah. Its real." Dean said as he stood and walked over to Judson, reaching out his hand to shake it. Judson shook his hand, but his eyes burned a hole through my face the entire time.

I know what he's thinking. He thinks I did this…

"We need to break the spell, we've got some things we need to take care of." Bobby interrupted. Judson looked at him briefly and nodded. Then he looked back at me. He walked away from Dean and Bobby and stood a few feet from me.

"How'd you do it? Huh?"

"I didn't…" I whispered. Green daggers pierced my heart. The look in his eyes was by far the most intense I've ever seen. "We think it was Sam, that's why we need to leave."

"Sam? Did you talk to him?" Judson asked, his face suddenly calmer, concerned almost.

"No." I mumbled.

He glanced back at Dean, then at me, asking if he knew. I shook my head so slightly I'm sure Dean didn't even notice. Judson sighed.

"Okay, lets do this." He said walking into Bobby's study behind him and Dean. I stood and followed carefully. I watched Judson as he moved around the room, smooth and deliberate. He and Bobby set up the same ritual as before I assume, as I slept the first time.

"What do I need to do?" I asked.

Bobby handed me a small knife.

"Blood, just a little into the bowl."

I nodded and took the knife from him, I raised my arm and let the blade bite into my skin, just enough to trickle a few drops, and then I set it down and moved back. Dean quickly took my arm and held pressure against the new cut. Judson was next, he picked up the knife and sliced in through his hand, leaking much more than I had. Then he wrapped his hand with a bandage.

I don't know why I was so drawn to him. Like gravity. All I wanted was to be next to him.

Our eyes never fell as Bobby read the words needed to break the spell, at the end the contents of the bowl began to smoke, until they all turned black.

"Okay. That's it. We ready to go?"

"Yeah. Let's get going." Dean nodded.

"I'll meet you guys outside." I said as Judson leaned against the wall in the corner. Dean nodded and looked between us carefully before leaving the room.

"Are you going to tell him?" Judson asked as soon as we heard the front door shut.

"I don't know… I don't want to."

"Emily he's gonna find out what Sam did."

"Well I don't want to be the one to tell him."

"What else does he know?"

"… He found out about the pills."

"How?" Judson said moving closer to me, concern filling his face again.

"The guy at the bar… he gave me something the other night. It was this thick white powder. It made my mouth tingle, and burn. It was bitter, but sweet. Anyways. It must have been something bad cause I started hallucinating, and I called Bobby. And apparently while I was coming down off the high I said things, I basically sold myself out."

"What guy?" He asked.

"Just some guy."

"The guy who was giving you the pills?"

"How do you know that?"

"I know a lot of things… are you okay now?"

"Yeah. Dean has them all, he's weaning me off."

"Does he know I knew about them?"

"No. I thought I'd spare you that trouble…"

"Emily, you really didn't do this?"

"No. I didn't Judson… I was too busy getting high every day and forgetting about it."

He took three more steps forward. His hand reached up to stroke my face, and I laid it against his warm large palm.

"I miss you ya know." His voice soothed in my ears.

"I miss you." I whispered back.

His hands moved and found their way down my back, pulling my body against his. Oh how I missed this. I missed everything about this. I wanted so badly to feel his body against mine, nothing between us. No clothes. No fear. Only the purity of the way I felt when he touched me.

But the honking of a horn caused us to jump and pull apart.

"They're waiting on you."

"I know." I sighed, he moved to walk out of the room, I followed him outside. Where we began to walk separate directions, but something in me pulled me backwards, and I jogged slightly to catch up with him.

"Wait!" I called as I pulled on his arm. "Don't go far, please?"

He smiled slightly.

"I'm only one call away, promise."

I let him go and jogged to the impala, getting in the backseat as Judson climbed on his motorcycle and drove off. It was nice to see his bike again. Not that I don't love his truck. But you gotta love a guy on a bike.

"You two are disgusting." Dean rolled his eyes as he pulled out of the driveway. I smiled. I missed my brother. The brother that picked on me when it came to boys. The brother that always made me smile.

…

The hallway at the motel was dark, red, mood lighting if I had to guess. Usually these places that rent by the hour are used for means other than sleeping though. I trailed carefully behind Bobby and Dean. My stomach was filled with waves. Nerves. Guilt. Anxiety.

I miss Sam.

I'm angry at Sam.

I feel bad for hurting Sam.

But mostly, I just want Sam back. I want us to be a family again.

So with each knock Dean placed against the cheap wooden door my body tensed. I linked hands with Bobby, he looked down at my sympathetically. Squeezing my hand comfortably. I was happy he came with us, I was happy that he knew the truth, he truly understood the importance of this moment. How heavily it weighed on my shoulders.

The door began to open, but it was a woman.

"So where is it?" She asked in her bra and underwear.

"Where's what?" Dean asked confused, looking between Bobby and I before looking back to her.

"The pizza... that takes three people to deliver?"

"I think we got the wrong room." Dean chuckled, but then Sam stepped in the doorway from behind her. He looked… different. His eyes landed on Dean and his face fell.

"Heya, Sammy." Dean said stepping forward into the room, the woman quickly moved out of the way as we slowly moved forward, Sam taking a small step back. Suddenly Sam pulled a knife and swung at Dean, who blocked the hit easily. Bobby jumps in and holds Sam back, I quickly closed the door and leaned against it.

"Who are you?!" Sam screamed.

"Like you didn't do this?!"

"Do what?!"

"It's him. It's him. I've been through this already, it's really him." Bobby said as he struggled to keep hold of Sam. Sam slowly breaks free, shock overtaking his face.

"What..."

"I know. I look fantastic, huh?" Dean smiled. Sam's eyes glistened as he moved and embraced Dean, Dean held him, holding on tight as he could. Part of me wanted to join them, the other couldn't stop staring at Sam… how different he looked.

"So are you two like... together?" The girl asked form the corner confused.

"What? No. No. He's my brother." Sam corrected, and then his eyes fell on me. "And my sister."

"Uh... got it. I... I guess. Look, I should probably go." She said pulling on her clothes.

"Yeah. Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Sorry."

"So, call me." She smiled as she pulled on the last of her clothes.

"Yeah. Yeah, sure thing, Kathy."

The woman's face fell.

"Kristy." She corrected before going out the door. I snorted to hold back a laugh, she shot me the bitch face on the way out.

"So tell me, what'd it cost?" Dean asked as quickly as the door shut.

"The girl? I don't pay, Dean." Sam smiled.

"That's not funny, Sam. To bring me back. What'd it cost? Was it just your soul, or was it something worse?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat waiting for the answer, I linked my arm through Bobby's. An anchor to keep me standing no matter how bad the answer is.

"You think I made a deal?"

"That's exactly what we think."

"Well, I didn't."

"Don't lie to me." Dean growled. "I already went through this with her! I will find out the truth."

"I'm not lying, wait… she didn't do this either?"

"So what now?" Dean cut him off. "I'm off the hook and you're on, is that it? You're some demon's bitch-boy? I didn't want to be saved like this."

"Look, Dean, I wish I had done it, all right?"

"There's no other way that this could have gone down. Now tell the truth!"

"I tried everything. That's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate. Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right? You were rotting in Hell for months. For months, and I couldn't stop it. So I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right? Dean, I'm sorry."

His words hit me straight in the gut… he'd done everything I had done. He tried deals. He tried opening the gate. Yet I look at him and I see someone stronger. Bigger. Better.

He looks like he went through the fucking extreme makeover show and I look like a fucking crackhead.

Why didn't he answer my calls? Why didn't he take me with him? If we set out to do the same damn things then why couldn't we do them together?! Why did he leave me!

… Why is better off without me?

I reached up and put pressure against my eyes, trying to shove the tears back from the edge of my eyes.

"It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you." Dean sighed.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm gladdened that Sam's soul remains intact, but it does raise a sticky question." Bobby added.

"If he didn't pull me out, then what did?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. But I need a beer." Sam said as he moved to get some from the fridge. Bobby moved to sit on the couch, Dean propped up against the dresser behind him and I kept myself pushed against the wall, watching. Listening. Waiting.

"So what were you doing around here if you weren't digging me out of my grave?" Dean asked as Sam handed him a drink, he passed me and moved to hand me a water, I simply shook my head, and he moved on to Bobby.

"Well, once I figured out I couldn't save you, I started hunting down Lilith, trying to get some payback."

"All by yourself. Who do you think you are, your old man?" Bobby asked sarcastically.

"Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, Bobby. I should have called. I was pretty messed up."

"I don't think I'm the one who deserves an apology here." Bobby replied. I looked down at the floor as I felt all 3 sets of their eyes on me. I really just wanted to disappear.

"Yeah. I know…" Sam said solemnly. "Em. I'm sorry. I nev-"

"Can we just talk about it later?" I cut him off… nervous to hear the truth finally hit Dean's ears. I don't know why but the thought of Dean finding out he hit me made me sick to my stomach.

"Anyways, uh, I was checking these demons out of Tennessee, and out of nowhere they took a hard left, booked up here."

"When?" Dean asked.

"Yesterday morning."

"When I busted out."

"You think these demons are here 'cause of you?"

"But why?" I asked finally joining the conversation.

"Well, I don't know – some badass demon drags me out and now this? It's gotta be connected somehow."

"How you feelin', anyway?" Bobby asked him.

"I'm a little hungry."

I laughed.

"No, I mean, do you feel like yourself? Anything strange, or different?"

"Or demonic? Bobby, how many times do I have to prove I'm me?"

"Yeah. Well, listen. No demon's letting you loose out of the goodness of their hearts. They've gotta have something nasty planned."

"Well, I feel fine."

"Okay, look, we don't know what they're planning. We got a pile of questions and no shovel. We need help." Sam interjected.

"I know a psychic. A few hours from here. Something this big, maybe she's heard the other side talking."

"Hell yeah, it's worth a shot." Dean nodded.

The boys all began to pack up and move things down to the impala. Bobby packed his things in the car Sam had been driving, he would drive out ahead of us and keep an eye out for Demons. I waited by the impala as Dean ran back up for the last bag, Sam however, didn't leave.

"So… is now a good time to talk?"

"I guess." I said looking down at my feet. Afraid to look up at him.

"Em. I'm sorry. I never should have put my hands on you like that. It… it eats me up every day."

"Yeah?" I said looking up at him, tears pushing their way to the surface. "Is that why you couldn't answer my calls? Couldn't bother to speak to me. Because it was just eating you alive?"

"You're right." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I should have called."

"Sam… you have no idea. What I've been through these last few months. You DITCHED me."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Why couldn't you just take me with you?! I only wanted him back. Just like you! I fought like hell. I found the fucking key to the devil's gate and damn near ran to my death! While you what, did some workout videos? Got buff? Ran around fucking whores?"

"Emily stop! It wasn't like that!"

"Yeah? Coulda fooled me."

"… Why didn't you tell him?"

"Honestly? I felt guilty. I felt bad about the things I said to you… and I didn't want him to kick your ass. But now. I'm not feeling so fucking bad."

"Em I… I wanna fix this. Okay? Can we just. Forget it. All of it?"

I stared at him. He moved in to hug me, hold me. But I flinched, and stiffened. He hesitated, but tried again slowly.

Part of me wanted to shove him away, show him I wasn't okay with the things he did, that He can't just come back and things be okay, that there has to be some sort of.. of… penance!

But… instead. I cried into him.

"I can't just forget it." I whispered.

"I know." He sighed.

I heard Dean's footsteps coming down the steps and I quickly pulled away, moving to lay down in the backseat, curled against the seat, using Dean's jacket as a blanket and my bag as a pillow. This ride was going to be awkward enough. I didn't really care to be awake for it.

…..

(Third Person POV)

"So… You left huh?" Dean asked Sam once he was sure Emily was asleep in the backseat.

"Yeah. Dean. I did."

"What the hell man? You were supposed to keep her safe. We had a plan."

"Look Dean, when you died… it was hard. It was really hard. I just. She was so needy, and I just. I needed space to process and grieve, and I just wanted to find a way to kill Lillith. And I just… I don't know."

"She's ended strung out on pills." Dean told him solemnly. Sam looked up to him in hurt and surprise.

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yeah. The night I came back, some sleeze ball drug dealer she'd been running around with fed her cocaine. Probably laced the way she was tripping out. Then she told us about the pills. The ones she takes five or six times a day just get out of bed when the sun comes up."

Dean looked over and watched as Sam's face contorted.

"So again… you left?"

"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't know. I thought that with Judson and Bobby she'd be okay."

"Well she wasn't Sam. She ran off, Judson barely kept her alive while they were gone, then he had to trap her at Bobbys with some sort of spell! So she ran his ass off. Sam look at her! She's… She's a mess."

"I know Dean. I can see that." Sam sighed.

"Good. Now that we've got that out of the way I have a question, something that's been bothering me."

"What?"

"The night that I bit it. Or... got bit. How'd you make it out? I thought Lilith was going to kill you both."

"Well, she tried. But Em scared her off."

"What do you mean?"

"When she realized you were dying. She screamed. It was so loud. Then she became like this ball of… hell I don't even know. She just. Dean she damn near knocked the house down. Her eyes were bright red, and this weird fog or mist or something surrounded the room. Killed the hellhounds I think, and Lillith ran. Emily tried to kill her but she got away too quickly."

"She said she used the pills to keep her abilities under control sometimes. Were they bad?"

"Dean. She nearly ripped a demon to shreds just by looking at him."

Dean listened intently, glancing back at Emily's sleeping form as Sam spoke. Trying to imagine his little girl becoming the things Sam described.

"What about Ruby, where is she?"

"Dead. For now."

"So you been using your, uh, freaky ESP stuff Ruby talked about?"

"No."

"You sure about that? Well, I mean, now that you've got... immunity, whatever the hell that is... just wondering what other kind of weirdo crap you've got going on. You and Em both."

"Nothing, Dean. Look, you didn't want me to go down that road, so I didn't go down that road. It was practically your dying wish… As far as Em goes I don't know to be honest. Like you said I wasn't there."

"Yeah." Dean sighed.

…

Bobby knocked on the door and a beautiful woman answered it quickly, as if knowing we were there before we even knocked.

"Bobby!" She smiled, hugging him.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, Pamela." Bobby told her.

"So, these the kids?"

"Sam, Dean, Emily. This is Pamela Barnes, best damn psychic in the state."

"Hey." Dean gave her a flirty smile. I waved and Sam offered a slightly awkward 'hi'.

"Mmm-mmm-mmm. Dean Winchester. Out of the fire and back in the frying pan, huh? Makes you a rare individual."

"If you say so."

"Come on in." We all followed her into the house.

"So, you hear anything?" Bobby asked.

"Well, I Ouija'd my way through a dozen spirits. No one seems to know who broke your boy out, or why."

"So what's next?" I asked.

"A séance, I think. See if we can see who did the deed."

"You're not gonna... summon the damn thing here." Bobby asked nervously.

"No. I just want to get a sneak peek at it. Like a crystal ball without the crystal."

"I'm game." Dean smiled to her. She led us down to the basement where there was a small table, block cloth cover it. Pamela squatted down to gather supplies from a cabinet. There was a small tattoo across her back. Dean leaned forward to look at it, I slapped him.

"Who's Jesse?" Dean then asked her.

"Well, it wasn't forever." Pamela laughed.

"His loss."

"Might be your gain." She winked to him. I fake gagged. Dean then slapped me back.

"Dude, I am so in." He leaned over me and mumbled to Sam.

"Yeah, she's gonna eat you alive." Sam smiled back.

"Hey, I just got out of jail. Bring it."

"Ew!" I said moving away from them.

"You're invited too, grumpy." Pamela said as she walked back past Sam.

"You are NOT invited." Dean quickly corrected him.

After Pamela prepared the table she had us all sit in a circle around it.

"Right. Take each other's hands. And I need to touch something our mystery monster touched."

Pamela's hand reached for Dean but left under the table. Dean suddenly jumped.

"Whoa. Well, he didn't touch me there."

"Oh I will so leave." I warned closing my eyes annoyed.

"Sorry Emily." Pamela winked to me.

Dean lifted his sleeve to reveal the handprint. Pamela laid her hand across it.

"Okay. " Pamela said as she closed her eyes. We all followed suit.

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle."

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle."

"I invoke, conjure, and command you, appear unto me before this circle."

"I invoke, conjure, and command... Castiel? No. Sorry, Castiel, I don't scare easy."

"Castiel?" Dean asked.

I opened my eyes and watched as she continued to call to him.

"Its name. It's whispering to me, warning me to turn back."

"I conjure and command you, show me your face."

"I conjure and command you, show me your face."

"I conjure and command you, show me your face."

"I conjure and command you, show me your face."

The room began to shake violently. I felt my nerves coming on end. I felt like my entire body was vibrating.

"Maybe we should stop." Bobby asked.

"I almost got it." Pamela shouted.

"I command you, show me your face!"

"Show me your face now!"

Suddenly the flames on the candles increased and Pamela began to scream in pain. Her eyes opened but glowed white. I panicked and released whoever was beside me, scrambling away from them and the table. Soon Pamela's screams stopped and she collapsed. The room fell silent again. Bobby caught Pamela as she fell and Dean moved back to check on me.

"Call 9-1-1!" Bobby yelled. Sam scrambled for his phone.

"I can't see! I can't see! Oh god!" Pamela cried.

"Dean what just happened." I asked shakily.

"I don't know Em."

Pamela turned her head briefly towards the sound of our voices, her eyes were gone. Blood red in the sockets. I screamed, hiding my face in Dean's jacket.

…..

"What'd Bobby say?" Dean asked as the waitress walked away from our table and Sam hung up the phone.

"Pam's stable. And out of I.C.U."

"And blind, because of us." I shuddered, picturing her face.

"And we still have no clue who we're dealing with." Sam sighed.

"That's not entirely true." Dean replied.

"No?"

"We got a name. Castiel, or whatever. With the right mumbo-jumbo we could summon him, bring him right to us."

"You're crazy. Absolutely not." Sam told him sternly.

"We'll work him over. I mean, after what he did?"

"Pam took a peek at him and her eyes burned out of her skull, and you want to have a face to face?" I asked him.

"You got a better idea?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact I do." Sam interrupted. "I followed some demons to town, right?"

"Okay?"

"So, we go find them. Someone's gotta know something about something."

The waitress reappeared with 3 plates, each containing one piece of pie.

"Thanks." Sam smiled politely. She then proceeded to sit down at the chair at the end of the table.

"You angling for a tip?" I asked her.

"I'm sorry. Thought you were looking for us." She asked as her eyes turned to black. "Dean. To hell and back. Aren't you a lucky duck."

I tensed and tightened a grip on Dean's arm. As if they were here to steal him from me. I was automatically on full alert, and with the decreased amount of pills in my system I could feel that familiar burn in my veins.

"That's me." Dean replied with a growl.

"So you get to just stroll out of the pit, huh? Tell me. What makes you so special?"

"I like to think it's because of my perky nipples." He joked. "I don't know. Wasn't my doing, I don't know who pulled me out."

"Right. You don't."

"No. He doesn't." I spat back quickly.

"Lying's a sin, you know."

"I'm not lying. But I'd like to find out, so if you wouldn't mind enlightening me?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"Mind your tone with me, boy. I'll drag you back to hell myself."

A fire lit within me somewhere and I reached up, her face contorted into pain and the veins around her face began to glow bright red.

"If you touch him I swear I'll rip you from the inside out."

"Em, stop." Dean whispered in my ear. I dropped my hand and watched her try to recollect herself.

"No, you won't." Dean smiled to her. "Because if you were you would have done it already. Fact is, you don't know who cut me loose. And you're just as spooked as we are. And you're looking for answers. Well, maybe it was some turbo-charged spirit. Or, uh, Godzilla. Or some big bad boss demon. I'm guessing at your pay grade that they don't tell you squat. Because whoever it was, they want me out. And they're a lot stronger than you. So go ahead. Send me back. But don't come crawling to me when they show up on your front doorstep with some Vaseline and a fire hose."

"I'm going to reach down your throat and rip out your lungs." She leaned in and whispered to him. I moved to kill her, but Dean held me back. Then he pushed himself forward to be face to face with her. Challenge in his eyes. But the demon did nothing, and quickly her mask of confidence began to shake.

"That's what I thought. Let's go." Dean said as he stood, pulling me close beside him. Sam walking directly to my left. Dean paused, grabbing some money out of his pocket, and dropping on the table in front of the waitress to add insult to injury.

"For the pie." He winked to her. We quickly exited the building.

"Holy crap, that was close." Dean said as he pushed me ahead of him on the sidewalk.

"We're not just going to leave them in there, are we, Dean?" I asked shocked.

"Well yeah, there's three of them, probably more, and we've only got one knife between us."

"I've been killing a lot more demons than that lately." I reminded him.

"Not anymore – you don't need to use that stuff unless its an emergency."

"Dean. She's right. We've gotta take em. They're dangerous."

"They're scared. Okay? Scared of whatever had the juice to yank me out. We're dealing with a bad mofo here. One job at a time."

"Whatever Dean." I sighed.

….

Noise.

Loud noise. Radio frequency, TV static. Ringing in my ears.

I began to come out of my sleepy state, noting Dean beside me also waking up, I looked over to Sam's bed, it was empty.

What the hell?

"Dean?" I asked nervously. He reached over and grabbed his shot gun, I pulled my pistol off the bedside table.

The noise began to increase, getting louder and louder, until it was piercing and screeching in my ears. I screamed and tried to cover my ears, but it didn't help. In the midst of trying to keep the pain from piercing my ears I rolled off the bed. Dean landing on top of me, also screaming.

The noise only continued to get louder, and then glass shattered all above us.

I thought my head might explode, I could feel warm sticky blood, coming from my ears.

"Dean! Em!" Bobby's voice cut in through the pain, suddenly someone was dragging me off the floor and pushing me out the door, away from the loud sound.

Once we were in the car and driving away I finally began to get my hearing back.

"How you doing kids?"

"Other than the church bells ringing in my ears, peachy." Dean groaned.

"I'm fine. Just a headache." I sighed from the backseat, trying to keep my eyes closed. "Where is Sam?"

"I don't know. I'll call him."

"Put him on speaker." I said leaning up. Dean dialed and we waited.

"Hey." Sam finally answered.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked him.

"Couldn't sleep, went to get a burger."

Since when does Sam get hungry for a burger in the middle of the night?

"In my car?"

"Force of habit, sorry. What are you doing up?"

"Well, uh, Bobby's back. We're going to grab a beer."

Bobby and I exchanged surprised looks before shooting them at Dean, who held up his finger at us.

"All right, well, uh, spill some for me, huh?"

"Done. Catch you later."

Dean hung up the phone quickly.

"Why the hell didn't you tell him what just happened?" I asked.

"Because he just tried to stop us."

"From what?"

"Summoning this thing. It's time we faced it head-on."

"You can't be serious!" Bobby yelled.

"As a heart attack. It's high noon, baby."

"Dean! You just got back, are you seriously trying to die again?!" I yelled at him, mostly because my hearing is still off and I have to yell to hear myself.

"We don't know what it is. It could be a demon, it could be anything." Bobby added.

"That's why we've got to be ready for anything. We've got the big-time magic knife, you've got an arsenal in the trunk, and as much as I don't like it. We've got Emily."

"This is a bad idea." I sighed as I leaned back against the seat.

"Yeah, I couldn't agree more, but what other choice do we have?"

"We could choose life." Bobby offered.

"Bobby, whatever this is, whatever it wants, it's after me. That much we know, right? I've got no place to hide. I can either get caught with my pants down again, or we can make our stand."

"Dean, we could use Sam on this." I said leaning forward.

"Nah, he's better off where he is."

"… So you could tell he was lying to?" I asked carefully. Dean just shared a disappointed look with me.

Bobby drove us to an empty warehouse outside of town where we were able to set everything up without fear of being interrupted. I was nervous, but I also knew Dean was right. We have to know what we're dealing with. And no matter what it is. I'll fight like hell before I let them take him away again.

"I still think this is a bad idea." Bobby mused as he finished drawing whatever part of the ritual he painted all over the concrete floor.

"Yeah Bobby. I heard you the first ten times." Dean sighed. "What do you say we ring the dinner bell?"

Bobby nodded and began chanting the word out of the small black book he used to draw the patterns on the floor. I linked my hand in Dean's and damn near held my breath waiting for Bobby to finish.

Once he did I closed my eyes. Waiting. Getting focused so that I could attack as needed.

But nothing was happening?

"You sure you did the ritual right?" Dean asked, Bobby shot him bitchface. "Sorry. Touchy, touchy, huh?"

As if on cue a loud rattling begins, shaking the roof, Dean lifted the knife and Bobby his shotgun. I felt the surge of fear or panic, getting myself ready to attack anything that was fixing to come.

"Wishful thinking, but maybe it's just the wind." Dean asked, I rolled my eyes at him. Suddenly the doors bust open, and a man in a suit and coat stood at the other end of the warehouse, he began to walk forward and with every step he took the lights above him shattered, leaving him hiding in the shadows. Dean prepared for a fight the closer the man got, until we were able to see his face.

"What the fuck?" I mumbled.

He looks like a fucking tax preparer or some shit?

"Who are you?" Dean asked.

"I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

"Yeah. Thanks for that." Dean said before rearing back and plunging the knife into the man's chest, but nothing happened. The man simply looked down at the knife unconcerned and pulled it out, dropping it to the floor, Bobby shoves forward to attack him, but the man took his weapon and threw it down, then tapped Bobby's forehead, causing him to crumple to the ground.

"Bobby!" I yelled.

"He is unharmed. We need to talk Dean. Alone."

"No, please… please don't take him back!" I yelled stepping in front of Dean.

The man narrowed his eyes at me slightly, then looked back to Dean.

"Do you accept responsibility for her? Do you want her present for this discussion?"

"Yes! Yes, now who the hell are you?!" Dean asked putting his hand on my shoulder, pulling me back away from the man.

"Castiel."

"Yeah, I figured that much, I mean what are you?"

"I'm an Angel of the Lord."

"Holy Fuck." I whispered, and then instantly wondered if It was a sin to say holy and fuck in the same sentence?

"There's no such thing." Dean replied.

"This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith."

Lightning flashed and large shadows of wings appeared, stretching across the width of the building, surrounding the man in the trench coat.

"Holy. Fuck." I said again. The angel looked down at me, as if he didn't understand the words coming out of my mouth, for some stupid reason I moved to bow my head? Like what the fuck? Did I think he was fucking emperor or some shit?

Do you bow to angels?

Dammit I feel dumb.

"Some angel you are. You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be... overwhelming to humans, and so can my real voice. But you already knew that."

"You mean the gas station and the motel. That was you talking?"

The angel nodded.

"Buddy, next time, lower the volume." I laughed slightly.

"That was my mistake. Certain people, special people, can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them, especially you Emily. I was wrong."

"Why would I-" I began to ask, but Dean cut me off.

"And what visage are you in now, huh? What, holy tax accountant?"

Hey! That's what I was thinking!

"This? This is... a vessel."

"You're possessing some poor bastard?"

"He's a devout man, he actually prayed for this."

"Well, I'm not buying what you're selling, so who are you really?" Dean demanded.

"Dean! Don't piss him off." I warned.

"I told you." Castiel frowned.

"Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell?

"Good things do happen, Dean."

There was something extremely genuine in his eyes. In the way he spoke to Dean. Everything in my heart wanted to cling to the words coming out of his mouth. That something good HAD finally found the Winchesters.

"Not in my experience." Dean said interrupting my hopeful thoughts.

"What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved?"

Yes. He does. A thousand times over again. So why does his face display that broken look?

"Why'd you do it?"

"Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you."

Before Dean or I could speak another word the angel disappeared.

Bobby began to stir awake, Dean instantly went down to help him stand.

"What the hell was that thing?"

"An angel." I said. Still staring at the spot where he stood. Still feeling a new wave of hope overtake me. For the first time in my life. I feel like things are going to get truly better for us. Working in God's name? Speaking with angels.

I could hardly believe that what I just saw was real. But when I look up at Dean, he looks so defeated. Confused. And for the life of me, I can't understand why?

…..

As soon as we got back to Bobby's I called Judson… I felt like I needed to talk. To ramble. To vent. To talk to someone who's been here for the last 4 months. Someone who understands where I've been. Where I'm coming from.

So I sat on the porch swing, mindlessly using, the ball of my feet to push back and forth, headlights in the distance caught my attention. I watched as they drove up the drive way, and then as the truck parked and out stepped Judson.

The way he moved. The way he walked. The way he looked at me.

Everything in me just wanted to run to him, but I resisted.

"Hey." He said as he walked up to the porch.

"Hi."

"So, did you find Sam?"

"Yeah. We did." I said, feeling the emotion from the eventful couple of days build up in my throat.

"And?"

"And…" I stopped, trying to prevent my voice from breaking. "He looks amazing. He looks like the last few months have been fucking fantastic for him."

I reached up and wiped a budding tear before it got its chance to fall. Judson quickly noticed and moved to sit beside me, his armed draped comfortably behind me. I leaned into him.

"I'm sorry baby." He said as he leaned over and kissed my temple.

"I don't understand." I cried. "Why did I turn into a monster and he's fine? Hell he's better than fine!"

"I don't know Em."

"So, did we find out how Dean got out of hell."

"Yeah." I said pulling up so I could see the look on his face as I said the words. "An angel."

"I'm sorry?"

"A fucking angel Judson! It was amazing!"

"… An angel? Are you sure about that Em?"

"Yes! I swear! You can go in there and ask Dean! It said that it yanked him out of hell to do work for God. I just… It was amazing. I kinda can't believe it actually happened. Its like the miracle I begged for every day."

"Yeah." He said cautiously.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Judson… why is it I'm the only one who is happy about this? You don't think this is good?"

"Its just… crazy. I just gotta process the information. Angels are a new one for me."

"We didn't tell Dean… about the Sam thing."

"What? Why not?"

"… I don't know. I guess I still felt a little guilty. About the things I said."

"Emily, I've told you a hundred times. It doesn't matter what you said. What he did was NOT okay! Dean should know about this. You and I both know its going to come out later, and that later might be a really bad time for a distraction that big."

"I just… I just want us to all be together again. I'm just happy he's back."

"I know sweetheart. I know. How are you doing with weaning off the pills?"

"They're letting me have two a day right now. One in the morning. One at night."

"Are you handling that okay?"

"I feel kinda edgy during the day. Kinda anxious, and my abilities are a little sensitive."

"You'll get there babe."

"… Is it wrong if I'm still kinda mad at you? And Sam… and. I don't know. I just kinda feel like I'm all over the place."

"No Em. You've been through a lot. Its okay to still be mad. I kinda figured you would be anyways."

"He's back Judson. He's really back. I'm not dreaming am I? This isn't gonna be some sick joke that I wake up from?"

"Hey look at me." He said, his hand pulling my chin to face him. His lips touched mine, and the shiver it sent down my spine. He held me there for only a moment before pulling away. "Does that feel real? Or do you still think you're dreaming?"

"I think you should do it again."

He chuckled and leaned in, letting my mouth explore his. God how I missed this… missed him. Missed the taste, the touch, the way my body molds against his.

"Dean's gonna be pissed if he catches us." He pulled away and reminded me after a few minutes.

"Whyyyyy…." I moaned.

"Lets just sit for a while babe. You've had a crazy day, you need some rest."

He was right. It has been a crazy day. And I felt like I was all over the board. I was angry at him, angry at Sam. Yet I wanted to cling to him, and I worried for Sam. I was unwilling to be more than 10 feet away from Dean, but felt odd because I was just adjusting to being on my own.

I just… I don't know what to expect. The next thing that happens could be the best, or worst, thing that's ever happened.

…

(Third Person POV)

Dean sat and contemplated the days events.

Angels.

He could only scoff at the idea that God wanted him saved.

So instead he wondered what had truly happened to his brother and sister in the last 4 months. He could tell that they were both holding back. Neither sharing the whole truth. He also knew that if they were going to be on the road again, hunting. That they needed to trust each other, and secrets were what got people killed in this business.

He moved from the couch, and walked out the front door, finding Emily asleep on Judson's shoulder.

"You should take her upstairs. We need to talk."

"Is this where you cut my dick off? Cause seriously we were just talking." Judson added sarcastically. Dean shot him a bitchface that topped even Sam's best.

"Right. Not in a joking mood. Got it." Judson said as he stood and carried Emily inside, placing her on the bed, covering her and quietly leaving the room again and going down to speak with Dean.

"Alright. Lets talk." He said as he stepped out the door.

"Let's go for a ride." Dean said, walking towards the impala. Judson carefully followed him, realizing that this talk was probably going to decide a lot of how things were going to precede from here. He got into the passenger side of the impala and Dean waited till they were out of the driveway to turn on the headlights and punch the gas.

"So, you've been with her for the last four months?"

"With the exception of the last three weeks. Yeah."

"I'm not concerned with the last three weeks, I've already taken care of the guy at the bar. I'm concerned with what the hell happened to my girl back there."

Judson sighed deeply, worrying that if he didn't tell the truth that it would permanently dent his relationship with all three of the Winchesters. But knowing that telling him the truth, the whole truth. Would have its consequences as well.

"A lot."

"Well good. You can start with the night I died."

"… What do you want to know." Judson asked, giving up on trying to beat around the bush. Dean looked away from the road and lifted his eyebrows.

"Everything."


	67. Chapter 67

Author's note: SO… I forgot I didn't even leave you a note on the last chapter! Oops! Sorry its taken me so long to update, the real world has kept me busy! But I'm super excited to get another chapter out and get us another step further into the world of Angels and Castiel! I am really excited to explore his character interaction with Emily and I can assure you I have a few curve balls up my sleeve! Please READ and REVIEW! I LOVE hearing what you guys think, and it helps me to figure out what the next step is in the story! Love you all so much.

On a side note- if you haven't seen it. I published a new story called Healing Sara. I'd like to play with it, it definitely won't update as often as this story because I'd like to keep my main focus here, but it is a drastically different story set up then Emily Anne and I would really love for you all to check it out if you haven't already! I'm going to work on its second chapter now that I've got this one finished! Thanks again guys for all your support! I love you all SO much!

"She was in shock." Judson sighed casually. "She tried to convince herself she was in another one of her nightmares. That we had to stay in that room until she woke up, so that you would be alive again. But I cut her off from that fairly quickly."

"What about Sam?"

"I think he was in shock too, just. Handling it better. We had to beg him to leave though."

"Then what?"

"We were surrounded. Dozens of demons, and I thought we were all gonna die. But Emily just. Flipped a switch. One moment she was sobbing in my arms, then she was… angry. What scared us all wasn't that she killed the demon, it was the way she enjoyed it. The way she wanted him to suffer, and how the other demons fled in fear. All of them. They were terrified of her."

Dean stared ahead at the road and tried to imagine the scene being described to him. He knew Emily's emotions controlled her abilities. But he worried what damage she could truly do if anger took hold of her.

"So you all got away scotch free?"

"Yeah, didn't see another demon for days after that. They steered clear, the drive back was long, and she insisted on riding with you, till we stopped and Sam and Bobby were ready to bury you. Then I had to lie and get her to come with me… when she woke up and Bobby's and found out we had already buried you she was pissed. Wanted nothing to do with any of us. Except Sam… She clung to him day and night. If she woke up and he wasn't there she freaked out. Sam was handling things as well as could be expected. He held it together for Em. Tried to be there for her."

"Why did he leave?"

"I don't know. I really don't. She had kinda cut herself off from me for the first few weeks, and that night we finally got to talk. And we fell asleep on the couch, and I woke up when I heard her screaming, crying."

Judson paused, his eyes stared ahead, but he didn't see anything in front of him. He just remembered how terrified he felt when he woke up to her screams. How he thought Lillith had returned, and that he had failed.

"What the hell happened?!"

"Her and Sam were fighting. I ran out and she was lying in the dirt. Her face swelling on one side… Dean. Look. I really wanted to be the last person to tell you this man. I didn't want it to be true. And Emily doesn't want you to know."

"…Know what?" Dean asked cautiously. His mind running, but he refused to see the bigger picture that was being laid out before him. Sam would never hurt Em. He just wouldn't.

"He hit her. They fought over who knows what… and he hit her, and then took off. Bobby tried to track him down but he was just gone. Em got pretty bad after that."

"I'm sorry. You… You're telling me that Sam put his hands on her? Are you sure? Cause. I gottat tell you that's just not Sam!" Dean said frantically. Refusing to believe the words flowing in his ears.

"I asked her Dean. She admitted to it, more than once."

Dean's emotions rolled. Anger. Disbelief. Sadness… He decided that he would shove this to the back of his mind until he was able to talk to Emily. Get the rest of the information. Hear it from HER mouth.

"What happened after that…"

"She got stuck on the idea of pulling you out of hell. She took off. I tracked her back down. She was drunk all the time… taking those stupid pills."

"You knew about the pills?"

"Yeah." Judson cringed slightly, knowing Dean's next question before he asked it.

"For how long?"

"A few weeks before you died." He admitted after a long pause.

"And you didn't think to tell us?!" Dean yelled.

"I promised her I wouldn't. She agreed to tell me before she would take them, I thought that way I could at least make sure they weren't getting out of hand."

"Well look how that turned out dumbass!"

"Look I had it under control until she took off! From there it was a battle to keep them away from her. Okay? I tried! She was persistent, and mentally beat down. I knew if I just took them and cut her off it would get worse."

"Stupid! You are stupid!" Dean said as he hit his hand against the steering wheel. He slammed on the breaks and got out of the car, pacing. Judson quickly followed him, continuing the argument.

"Yeah yeah yeah, you know its real easy to sit there and judge the situation when you're not in it! Okay? Sam was gone! Bobby was trying his best to keep tabs on Em while looking for him, and Emily was fucking desperate. Do you know the things she put herself through?!"

"No! I wasn't there but I asked the three of you to step up!"

"We tried! You set her up to fail without you Dean! She didn't know how to live on her own!"

"Shut up!"

"No! its the damned truth and you know it! She killed demon after demon after demon! Slaughtering them AND their vessels without a second thought because she wanted to punish the world for taking you away from her. She paraded in front of hundreds of people naked to win over some bitch who had the key to open the devils gate! And she hated herself every second of it… she drank herself to sleep every night we were together, because she couldn't stand the nightmares anymore. Took the pills to dull herself so she wouldn't shatter every piece of glass she raised a hand to. Things were pretty fucked up Dean, okay?"

"Well it wasn't supposed to be that way!"

"But it was!"

"… What did she do for the key."

"Some stupid higher up demon, told her if she wanted it she had to earn it, and pushed her out on stage at some high end night club. It was disgusting, but she didn't hesitate because she wanted to save you. Demons we would run into would tell her about you in hell, and it damn near crippled her every time."

"Where is the key now?"

"Bobby and I destroyed it. Tricked her. Trapped her, and then she basically told me to fuck off… after that I don't know anything."

"I already told you I handled what came after that."

"… did you kill him?"

"No. But I should have."

"I wish you had, so what now? Are we done yelling at each other?"

"You really don't know why Sam left? Nothing?"

"No. I wish I did, it tore Em up. She called him every day for weeks. Begged him to pick up the phone, all she would tell me is that the argument was pretty heated and she said some pretty bad things. But. I can't imagine Sam not answering the phone because of that."

"Yeah. Me too… which means there's more to this."

"So again I ask… what now?"

"I deal with Sam and Emily. I get the feeling you'll wanna steer clear of this one."

"I have a feeling Emily's gonna find me and kick my ass for telling you no matter where I hide. Might as well face it head on."

"Yeah." Dean sighed and nodded.

…

(Emily's POV)

"Emily." Dean's voice and a gentle shake pulled me from sleep. "Kiddo, wake up."

"Mmmm…. What?" I asked as I stretched, my vision attempting to clear.

"Did he hit you?" Dean asked quietly, but intently. I was momentarily confused, but the look on his face made it very clear who he was asking about. Sam.

"Dean it was my fault I-"

"Just. Stop... Did he hit you?"

"Yes." I whispered. Dean instantly stood from the bed and left the room, his heavy feet treading the stairs. I ran to follow behind him. He walked into the kitchen where Bobby and Sam were having a late night beer.

"Hey, what's up?" Sam asked as Dean stomped into the room, but he was quickly picked up by the front of his shirt and slammed into the fridge behind him.

"Dean!" I yelled moving to get between them but suddenly an arm went around me, I didn't have to turn around to realize it was Judson's.

"Did you put your hands on her?!" Dean yelled as he slammed Sam backwards again. Sam gripped his wrists and had been attempting to pull away, but he suddenly froze. His face fell, and he briefly glanced at me before turning back to Dean.

"Dean. I. I'm sorry… I didn't mean to! I was drunk."

"Why!"

"I… I was in a bad place Dean, Okay? It was wrong! Don't you think I know that already!"

"Then how could you do it!" Dean screamed at him.

"Stop! Dean please! It was my fault!" I begged, pulling forward, but Judson only wrapped me up tighter.

"No, Em it wasn't… It was mine." Sam quickly corrected her. "I never should have done that, no matter what you said."

"Dean please just stop." I asked, watching as his eyes threw daggers at Sam. I could tell he was so angry, but he also resisted at the idea of actually causing Sam physical harm. He loved us so much. Both of us… and we put him in the worst spot he would want to be in. Finally he released Sam and took two steps back. Sam took a deep breath and looked back at me, but then Dean's fist flew through the air and connected with Sam's jaw. He stumbled to the ground. And Dean shook out his hand.

"This is over now. No one else in this family lays a hand on anyone else in the family! Is that clear?!" Dean shouted looking between a bleeding Sam and myself. I nodded weakly and Sam wiped his mouth. Dean stormed outside and Bobby moved to help Sam up off the floor. I turned around and faced Judson.

"Are you happy now?" I demanded before pushing him off of me.

"Emily, c'mon. He was gonna find out eventually." Judson sighed as he followed behind me.

…..

"Well, then tell me what else it could be." Sam proposed as we sat and discussed the new discovery of angels. We were all trying to put last night behind us, but the tension at times were palpable. Between Sam and Dean. Between Judson and I.

"Look, all I know is I was not groped by an angel." Dean argued.

"Dean. Why do you think this Castiel would lie to you about it? I think he was telling us the truth." I interjected.

"Maybe he's some kind of demon. Demons lie."

"For fucks sake Dean. He wasn't a demon!" I argued.

"Don't you think that if angels were real, that some hunter somewhere would have seen one... at some point... ever?"

"Yeah. You just did, Dean." Sam laughed humorlessly.

"I'm trying to come up with a theory here. Okay? Work with me."

"Dean, we have a theory."

"Yeah, one with a little less fairy dust on it, please."

"Okay, look. I'm not saying we know for sure. I'm just saying that I think we –"

"Okay, okay. That's the point. We don't know for sure, so I'm not gonna believe that this thing is a freaking Angel of the Lord because it says so!"

"You two chuckleheads want to keep arguing religion, or do you want to come take a look at this?" Bobby asked. I sighed as I led us over to Bobby's desk where he and Judson were digging through books.

"I got stacks of lore - Biblical, pre-Biblical. Some of it's in damn cuneiform. It all says an angel can snatch a soul from the pit."

"What else?" Dean asked.

"What else, what?"

"What else could do it?"

"Airlift your ass out of the hot box? As far as I can tell, nothing."

"Dean, this is good news." I smiled at him, desperately wanting him to see the joy in this situation. We're all three alive, no more debts to pay, no more dying.

"How?"

"Because for once, this isn't just another round of demon crap. I mean, maybe you were saved by one of the good guys, you know?"

"Okay. Say it's true. Say there are angels. Then what? There's a God?"

"At this point, Vegas money's on yeah." Bobby added.

"I don't know, guys."

"Okay, look. I know you're not all choirboy about this stuff, but this is becoming less and less about faith and more and more about proof." Sam added.

"Proof?"

"Yes."

"Proof that there's a God out there that actually gives a crap about me personally? I'm sorry, but I'm not buying it."

"Why not?!" I asked exasperated.

"Because why me? If there is a God out there, why would he give a crap about me?"

"Dean." I stared at him with sadness. "Why WOULDN'T he give a crap about you? Everything you do in life is to save other people. To help people."

"I mean, I've saved some people, okay? I figured that made up for the stealing and the ditching chicks. But why do I deserve to get saved? I'm just a regular guy."

"Apparently, you're a regular guy that's important to the man upstairs." Sam told him.

"Well, that creeps me out. I mean, I don't like getting singled out at birthday parties, much less by... God."

"Okay, well, too bad, Dean, because I think he wants you to strap on your party hat." I smiled to him.

"Fine. What do we know about angels?" Dean said with a defeated eye roll.

"Not much." Judson shrugged. Bobby handed him a stack of books.

"Start reading."

"You're gonna get me some pie." He said as he pointed at Sam. I laughed.

We continued to do research as Sam went for food, Dean even called him twice to remind him of pie. I kinda enjoyed it. Us getting back to our usual routine. Research. Bobby's house. Pie.

Staring at Judson instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

Our eyes played back and forth with each other over for an hour or more. Until Bobby came in and disrupted us.

"Pack up kids. I just gotta call from a hunter not far from here. Something's wrong, I may need your help on this one."

Just as I finished gathering my things Bobby was outside meeting Sam in the yard. I trotted down the stairs and met everyone outside.

"Olivia Lowry - a hunter, right?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. We're gonna go check on her. You guys follow me."

"Scoot over." Dean demanded as Sam sat in the drivers seat, Sam looked up at him with disbelief. "Yeah. I said scoot."

Sam rolled his eyes but obliged, Judson and I slid into the backseat. Dean picked up the bag of food and began to dig into it, then he stopped.

"Dude?" He asked looking up to Sam.

"Yeah?"

"Where's the pie?"

Sam went wide eyed and Dean sighed sadly before pulling out on the road, picking at his burger and fries as we drove. I sat in the back, my feet propped up in Judson's lap as I snacked on my chicken strips and he attempted to eat his sandwich. I waited until he was fixing to take a bite, then raised my leg just enough to bump his hand, making him feel as if he was going to drop his food.

He shot me a playful glare and shook his head, I shrugged innocently and mouthed the word 'sorry', he went for another bite and this time I bumped him a little harder, causing a tomato slice to fall out of his sandwich and into his lap. I busted out laughing.

"You're mean." He groaned as he threw the tomato out the window and pushed my feet off before going back to his sandwich. I turned around to watch out the window as we drove, and before I knew it something small was flying into my hair. I froze, and slowly turned to look at Judson. Who mimicked my innocent shrug.

"Asshole." I mumbled before going back to eating my chicken strips.

…..

"Olivia?" Bobby asked cautiously as he entered her home, we slowly followed behind him. We came in and found who I assumed to be Olivia in the floor, covered in blood, I turned and hid my face in Judson's shoulder. His arm wrapped around me instinctively.

"Salt line." Sam said from the front door, pointing down.

"Olivia was rocking the EMF meter." Dean said as he picked it up.

"Spirit activity?" I asked.

"Yeah - on steroids. I never seen a ghost do this to a person." Dean said as he kneeled beside Olivia's shredded body. Bobby who had left the room at some point reentered it, phone in hand.

"Uncle Bobby, you all right?" I asked him softly.

"I called some hunters nearby..."

"Good. We can use their help." Dean said standing.

"...except they ain't answering their phones either." Bobby finished sadly.

"Something's up, huh?" Sam asked.

"You think?" Bobby replied before going outside.

"What the hell do you think it is?" I asked as Sam and Dean shared a concerned look.

"I don't know, but whatever it is seems to be targeting hunters. Buddy system from hear on out. No one goes anywhere alone." Dean said before following Sam out the door. Judson and I trailed behind.

We decided to split from there and try to track down Bobby's contacts that weren't answering Dean Sam and I were almost to the next house. Judson had gone with Bobby to keep him safe, and vice versa.

Dean dialed the man again as we entered his home, but broken glass was our first warning sign that he'd met the same fate as Olivia. We found him in the main living room, chest torn to shreds. Gun in his hand.

"Dammit. Let's get out of here. I'll call Bobby." Dean sighed. I stayed close to him and Sam, prepared for a fight at any minute. Something was hunting hunters, and it was 2 for 2 so far.

"We're in Jackson. It's not pretty. He looks even worse than Olivia. What about you?" Dean asked as we got in the car, Bobby's voice came over the speaker phone.

"I checked on Carl Bates and R.C. Adams. They've redecorated... in red."

"What the hell is going on here, Bobby? Why did a bunch of ghosts suddenly want to gank off-duty hunters?"

"I don't know, but until we find out, you guys better get your asses to my place."

"We're on our way."

We drove for about 4 hours before pulling in at a gas station, Dean was pumping gas, Sam and I were picking out snacks.

"Here Em, take these up front for me, I gotta hit the head."

I took his handful of semi-healthy snacks and added them to my hand full of junkfood. I paid and went back out to the car.

"Where's Sam?"

"Bathroom, he's been in there for like 10 minutes. You should go make sure he didn't fall in." I suggested as I sat in the backseat and cracked open my bag of twizzlers.

"Alright. Lock the door."

"Sir yes sir." I sighed.

I watched carefully as people entered and exited the store, until two tall men came stumbling out in a hurry. Sam appeared to be injured. I quickly jumped out of the car and ran to my brothers.

"What the hell?! Sam?"

"Get in the car!" Dean screamed.

I turned and waited for Sam to sit before assessing his wounds. Dean pealed out and took off down the road.

"Call Bobby!" I said frantically.

"I already am… Come on… Dammit Bobby pick up!"

"Try Judson!"

"Sam, how you doing over there? Huh, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"None. I'll be fine, Dean."

"What the hell happened in there?" I asked.

"Henriksen." Sam sighed.

"I'm sorry… did you say Henriksen?"

"Yep."

"Dean Henriksen? Like in ghost form?"

"Yep."

"Why? What did he want?" Dean asked.

"Revenge, 'cause we got him killed."

"Sam." I said sadly.

"Well, we did, Em."

"All right. Stop right there." Dean interrupted. "Whatever the hell is going on, it's happening to us now, okay? I can't get ahold of Bobby, so if you're not thinking answers, don't think at all."

"I'll call Judson" I offered.

I called once… no answer. I suddenly felt overly nervous.

"He's not answering."

Dean didn't reply. He only stomped on the gas, luckily we were less than an hour from Bobby's as it was, and we made it in record time. Once there we all ran in, guns ready.

"Bobby?" Dean asked.

"Judson!" I called out frantically looking around for him. The only thing that came to my sight was the fire poker laying on the ground.

"We'll go up, you check outside." Dean said to Sam. Sam nodded and took off back out the door.

"Dean… where are they?" I asked beginning to panic.

"Don't freak out on me now kiddo, we gotta find em. Okay?"

"Okay." I swallowed around the lump in my throat, following Dean up the stairs.

"Bobby?" Dean called out as he slowly opened the door to the room. He took two steps in and then it closed behind him separating us.

"Dean!" I yelled. I tried to kick in the door, but no such luck.

"Hey Emily."

I froze and bone splitting chills made their way up my spine. I recognized the voice coming from behind me. I hadn't heard it in over a year… but even now I recognized it instantly. Slowly I turned and faced him.

"Andy." I breathed.

"Long time no see huh?"

"Yeah.. I. I'd say so." I swallowed.

"Does it bother you? Seeing me like this?"

I just nodded a little. Part of me just wanted to hug him, I loved Andy… I was devastated when he died. But something in his eyes was different. This wasn't the same Andy.

"Well it should, I mean after all… its your fault I'm dead."

"Andy I-"

"Do you remember? How you left me there. Alone. Defenseless. Just bait laid out for the taking, almost like you set it up that way."

"Andy no! Please." I cried. "I never wanted you to die, Andy I adored you. You saved my life!"

"And you killed me as a thanks!" He yelled as he walked closer to me.

"I'm so sorry Andy… Please. I'm sorry!" I said as I continued to back away, stunned. He pushed further and further forward. Until my back was against the railing over the stairs.

"I'm sorry!" I cried as he pressed me against the rail, grabbing me by the neck and leaning me over it.

Its like I couldn't even fight back, I just felt this huge rush of guilt. Like I deserved to die right here. Like I owed it to Andy… So instead I just closed my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Andy… so sorry." I cried.

"You're gonna be." He said as he pushed me over even further, my feet not touching the ground any longer, only being held up by Andy.

But suddenly Andy's grip was gone and I was being yanked forward, I screamed out of fear. My eyes flew open and met apple green ones.

"Em baby, are you with me?" Judson asked as He pulled me towards him.

"Judson?!"

"Yeah Em its me."

"Wh-where did he go?!"

"I don't know, he's just gone… who was that?"

"Dean! Dean!" I began to yell. Worried that he had met the same fate as I did in the room he was locked into. I ran to the door but heard gun shots.

I froze, and then the door opened. Dean came out, wide eyed as I was.

"Who was it?" I asked him solemnly.

"Meg… the vessel, not the demon."

"Mine was Andy." I said with tears falling down my cheeks. Dean gave a sad look and pulled me against him. What the hell is going on around here.

"Guys!" Sam calls from down stairs. "We're down here."

The three of us came down the stairs to meet Bobby and Sam. Then we all walked into the kitchen for a drink. Bobby poured himself a shot and drank it before pouring himself another and making some for the boys. I simply shook my head no.

"So, they're all people we know?" Sam asked.

"Not just know. People we couldn't save. Hey, I saw something on Meg. Did she have a tattoo when she was alive?" Dean replied.

"I don't think so."

"It was like a-a mark on her hand - almost like a brand."

"I saw a mark, too, on Henriksen." Sam nodded. Dean turned to me.

"Did Andy have one?"

"I was too freaked to notice."

"Wait, yours was Andy?" Sam asked sadly. I looked at him and my lip trembled.

"Yeah." I answered shakily. "He was so mad at me, Sam. He said we left him there as bait on purpose."

"Em, you know that's not true. Ava played us all."

"Maybe we shouldn't have left him alone though."

"Don't do that to yourself Em, Andy was too nice to survive in that town. Its no ones fault. He was just given the short stick." Dean told me. I nodded, but my lip continued to tremble.

Judson who was standing next to me pulled me in to his chest. Where I let out a few quiet sobs. Before sucking in a breath of air and turning back to the conversation.

"What did it look like?" Bobby asked.

"Uh, paper?" Sam asked. Bobby handed him a piece and a pencil. "Thanks."

Sam drew out the mark he saw and Dean looked at it for only a second before recognition crossed his face.

"That's it."

"I may have seen this before. We got to move." Bobby said quickly.

"Whoa." Sam said surprised by Bobby's hurry.

"Follow me."

"Okay, where are we going?"

"Some place safe, you idiot."

Bobby picks up a few books and rushes us all downstairs into the basement which is made of iron and covered in devil's traps. It was like a giant safe room.

"Bobby, is this..." Dean asked in awe.

"Solid iron. Completely coated in salt. 100% ghost-proof."

"You built a panic room?" I asked. "When?!"

"I had a weekend off."

"Bobby." Dean said with a flat face.

"What?"

"You're awesome."

…..

We were all busying ourselves downstairs while we waited for Bobby to find what he was looking for in his stack of books. I sat on Judson's lap as he sat in the chair in the corner.

"Who was that guy Em?"

"Who, Andy?"

"Yeah. You seemed really upset that it was him."

"Andy was probably the nicest person I've ever met in my whole life. He was just a good soul, who was dealt a shitty hand in life, but still he made the best of it. He didn't deserve to be pulled into this life. He saved me once, killed his own brother to do it."

"Sounds like a pretty great guy."

"He died the same night Sam did. In that horrible place where yellow eyes dumped us all."

"I'm sorry sweetheart... I know its hard to put your mind back in that place."

"He was just so angry with me… Andy was never angry. Ever."

"It wasn't really him babe."

"He was gonna kill me."

"Not while I'm around." He said as he kissed my forehead. I leaned into him and listened to Dean and Sam talk while making bullets.

"See, this is why I can't get behind God." Dean sighed.

"What are you talking about?"

"If he doesn't exist, fine. Bad crap happens to good people. That's how it is. There's no rhyme or reason - just random, horrible, evil - I get it, okay. I can roll with that. But if he is out there, what's wrong with him? Where the hell is he while all these decent people are getting torn to shreds? How does he live with himself? You know, why doesn't he help?"

"I ain't touching this one with at 10-foot pole." Bobby commented from across the room.

"Yeah." Dean said nodding his head.

"Found it!" Bobby suddenly called. Judson and I stood and walked over to him.

"What?" Sam asked as he and Dean followed us.

"The symbol you saw - the brand on the ghosts..."

"Yeah?"

"Mark of the Witness."

"Witness? Witness to what?" I asked.

"The unnatural. None of them died what you'd call ordinary deaths. See, these ghosts - they were forced to rise. They woke up in agony. They were like rabid dogs. It ain't their fault. Someone rose them... on purpose."

"Who would do something like that?" I asked in horror.

"Do I look like I know? But whoever it was used a spell so powerful it left a mark, a brand on their souls. Whoever did this had big plans. It's called "the rising of the witnesses." It figures into an ancient prophecy."

"Wait, wait. What - what book is that prophecy from?" Dean asked.

"Well, the widely distributed version's just for tourists, you know. But long story short - Revelations. This is a sign, kids."

"A sign of what?" Sam and Dean asked in unision.

"The apocalypse."

"Apocalypse? The apocalypse, apocalypse? The four horsemen, pestilence, $5-a-gallon-gas apocalypse?" Dean asked.

"That's the one. The rise of the witnesses is a - a mile marker."

"Okay, so, what do we do now?" Sam asked.

"Road trip. Grand Canyon, Star Trek Experience. Bunny Ranch."

"Dean you're disgusting!" I said slapping him on the back of the head.

"First things first. How about we survive our friends out there?"

"Great. Any ideas aside from staying in this room until Judgment Day?" Judson asked him.

"It's a spell here to send the witnesses back to rest. Should work."

"Should. Great. " Judson sighed.

"If I translate it correctly. I think I got everything we need here at the house."

"Any chance you got everything we need here in this room?" Dean asked with a sarcastic smile.

"So, you thought our luck was gonna start now all of a sudden? Spell's got to be cast over an open fire."

"The fireplace in the library?" I asked.

"Bingo."

"That's just not as appealing as a, uh, ghost-proof panic room, you know?"

We all gathered a weapon and prepared to split up.

"Cover each other. And aim careful. Don't run out of ammo until I'm done, or they'll shred you. Ready?"

We all nodded. Dean and I went one way, Judson and Sam went the other, and Bobby went straight to find the ingredients.

"Hey, Dean. You remember me?" A man on the stairs called out.

"Ronald, huh? With the laser eyes? I wish I could say it's good to see you."

"I am dead because of you. You were supposed to help me!"

I shot a round into Ronald and he disappeared.

"If you're gonna shoot then shoot! Stop talking." Bobby yelled to us.

"Upstairs, linen closet - red hex box. It'll be heavy." Bobby demanded to Sam and Judson, they disappeared, Dean and I stayed close to Bobby.

"Bobby." A little girl called from behind us. We turned and Dean shot her and what looked like her twin sister.

"Kitchen. Cutlery drawer. It's got a false bottom. Hemlock, opium, wormwood."

"Opium?" Dean asked in surprise.

"Go!" Bobby yelled at us.

Dean and I made it into the kitchen, but the door slammed behind us, cutting us off from Bobby.

"Dean? Em?" Bobby called from the other side.

"We're okay! Keep working!" Dean called back to him as we went to the drawer.

"I'll dig, you shoot." I told him.

Suddenly a man appears next to us… Henriksen.

"Victor."

"Dean."

"I know."

"No. You don't."

"It's my fault you're dead. I left you behind. And the minute I heard about that explosion, I thought, "I should have known." I should have protected you."

Dean reaches for his gun, but it flys across the room. I turned from the drawer and put two bullets into Henriksen's ghost before it disappeared.

"Stop fucking talking to them Dean!" I yelled at him.

"Sorry!" He yelled back.

I kept digging, but a voice caught my attention.

"Emily… poor sweet little Emily. So I hear you're the big shot with all the power now huh?"

"Andy please don't make me shoot you, just go away." Dean asked him.

"Maybe if you were there I wouldn't have died Dean. Emily here dropped the ball, fed me to the demons like Friday night dinner."

"Andy please it wasn't like that!"

Andy went to say something else, but was suddenly shot and disappeared.

"You all right?" Sam asked as he and Judson burst into the door.

"No." I sighed as I dug for the last ingredient giving them all over to Dean.

"Let's go." Sam said as we all moved towards the Library. Judson right behind me at all times.

As we hit the living room I emptied the casing from the revolver I was carrying.

"I need to reload." I called out.

"Us too, we're empty." Sam agreed. We all began frantically reloading our guns as Bobby was given the ingredients. But Ronald appeared before us before we barely got one bullet loaded.

"Ronald. Hey, come on, man. I thought we were pals." Dean groaned.

"That's when I was breathing. Now I'm gonna eat you alive."

"Well...come on, I'm not a cheeseburger." Dean said pointing his gun at Ronald, but Ronald disappeared. Bobby began reciting latin and the windows in the house all blew open at once. Wind whirling around the room. The salt lines that were previously made were now gone. Suddenly Meg, Ronald, and Andy all appeared. Surrounding us.

I went after Meg, the only one I truly thought I could stomach fighting right now, but she disappears. Its like a rapid fire shooting trial as we all empty our mags trying to nail one or the other. Just as my gun 'clicked' instead of firing I was thrown through the air.

"Em!" Sam called out rushing towards me, but Meg nailed him and pushed him to the side, a large desk landing on top of him.

Judson moves towards us but Dean yells at him to cover Bobby instead. I watched as Dean struggled with Ronald and Meg, while Andy slowly moved closer to me.

"I was just fine before you came into my life. I was happy. Life was simple. Smoke a joint, have some coffee, the company of lovely women."

"I'm sorry Andy! Please don't!"

I turned when a loud commotion caught my attention. Judson was pinned next to Sam and Bobby was being held in the air by Meg who had her hand wrapped around his throat.

"You're not really sorry though. You're just glad you made it out alive, and really better improved once Sam bit the dust. Now you can do all sorts of fun things can't you!"

"Andy stop!"

"Why don't you show me a little taste huh? Show me what you can do…"

"Andy please stop! I don't wanna hurt you!" I cried.

"Oh honey, its too late for that."

I closed my eyes and screamed, just wishing they would all stop. All disappear. Suddenly it was red hot all around me and I opened my eyes to see the familiar red haze filling the room, suffocating the ghosts of the people from our past. I watched as Dean scrambled to Bobby's side and they threw something into the fire place.

Before I could blink all four of the ghost disappeared, slowly the red fog faded as well. Sam and Judson pushed the desk off of them, and Dean picked Bobby up off the floor.

Then they all turned to face me.

"I.. I didn't mean to." I cringed. Pulling my knees up to my chest. I knew Dean had asked me not to use them, and I was trying not to, to keep them under control. But… I just. It just happened.

"C'mon baby, stand up." Judson called as he walked over and reached down to me.

"Please don't be mad at me Dean." I asked as I stood.

"I'm not mad Em, I'm not… you did good." He said slowly, gasping for air between words.

"Is it over?" I asked.

"Yeah kiddo, Its over."

"… What happens to their souls?"

"They were put back to rest." Bobby answered.

"Peacefully?"

"I don't know darling, but we can hope."

I nodded sadly and buried myself into Judson's chest. My arms sliding between his jacket and his shirt, letting him calm me as he rubbed his hands up and down my back.

….

(Third Person's POV)

Dean waited for Emily to go to bed before offering Sam the bedroom and insisting that Judson take the other bed, more so he couldn't end up in Emily's room. Dean walked down the steps and fell onto the couch, falling into a comfortable sleep.

He awoke to the odd sensation that someone was watching him. When he woke he found that Emily had left her bed and had moved to sleep on the couch opposite of him. He looked up and found Castiel standing in the kitchen. He slowly stood and checked on Emily, making sure she was sound asleep.

"She will not wake, I assure you." Castiel voiced before Dean moved towards him in the kitchen. "Excellent job with the witnesses."

"You were hip to all this?"

"I was, uh, made aware."

"Well, thanks a lot for the angelic assistance. You know, I nearly died. Hell we all did."

"But you didn't."

"I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings, halos - you know, Michael Landon. Not dicks."

"Read the Bible. Angels are warriors of God. I'm a soldier."

"Yeah? Then, why didn't you fight? Do you know that my girl back there had to do most of the fighting for us? You think I like letter her do that?"

"I'm not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns. It was handled."

"Concerns? There were people getting torn to shreds down here! And, by the way, while all this is going on, where the hell is your boss, huh, if there is a God?"

"There's a God."

"I'm not convinced. 'Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?"

"The Lord works in-"

"If you say "mysterious ways," so help me, I will kick your ass. So, Bobby was right... about the witnesses. This is some kind of a... sign of the apocalypse."

"That's why we're here. Big things afoot."

"Do I want to know what kind of things?"

"I sincerely doubt it, but you need to know. You need to be prepared, so that you may prepare others. The rising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals."

"Okay. I'm guessing that's not a show at Seaworld."

"Those seals are being broken by Lilith."

"She did the spell. She rose the witnesses."

"Mm-hmm. And not just here. 20 other hunters are dead."

"Of course. She picked victims that the hunters couldn't save so that they would barrel right after us. Or ones that we didn't want to die again." He pondered as he remembered the way it crushed him to shoot the poor bastards he already couldn't save. The way it affected Emily.

"Lilith has a certain sense of humor."

"Well, we put those spirits back to rest."

"It doesn't matter. The seal was broken."

"Why break the seal anyway?"

"You think of the seals as locks on a door."

"Okay. Last one opens and..."

"Lucifer walks free."

"Lucifer? But I thought Lucifer was just a story they told at demon Sunday school. There's no such thing."

"Three days ago, you thought there was no such thing as me. Why do you think we're here walking among you now for the first time in 2,000 years?"

"… To stop Lucifer." Dean finally realized.

"That's why we've arrived."

"Well... bang-up job so far. Stellar work with the witnesses. That's nice."

"We tried. And there are other battles, other seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in."

Castiel vanishes, leaving Dean standing alone in the kitchen, scared at the mention of hell. The memories he tries so hard to shove down rising up again. He quickly shook his head and went to carry Emily back up stairs. She barely moved until he set her in the bed, where she rolled over and awoke."

"Dean?"

"Yeah kiddo its just me. Figured this would be more comfy."

"Can you stay? I don't like being alone and you kicked out Judson." She sighed with her eyes still closed.

"Sure kiddo." He said sadly.

"You good De? What's wrong?" She asked, prying her eyes back open.

"So... You got no problem believing in... God and Angels?"

"No, not really."

"So, I guess that means that you believe in the Devil."

"Yeah. But. Why are you asking me all this?"

"Lets just talk about it tomorrow, okay?"

"You sure?" She asked once more as her eyes fluttered closed again, already she was almost asleep.

"Night kiddo." Dean said as he kissed the top of her head. She sighed contently as she fell back asleep, Dean on the other hand, stared out the window, he knew he wouldn't be getting any sleep tonight.


	68. Chapter 68

Author's Note: Hey yall! I'm sorry its been a while on these updates lately. I've been working and picked up a class online too. And today I'm sicky… BUT. There is some VERY important information revealed in this chapter. Its definitely going to change things from here on out. Please hang tight and PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to see what you all think of this! PLEASE REVIEW! Love you guys! Thanks to Ladysunshine6 for always checking on me!

"Thanks for all your help Uncle Bobby." I said as I hugged his neck tight.

"No problem darling… how are you feeling?"

"Well… I haven't had a pill in about three days. I feel a little anxious. And I may have shattered that old coffee mug you like so much." I admitted with a guilty expression.

"That's okay Em, I'm proud of you for pulling out of this so strongly."

"I don't know about that."

"I do, you're a tough one kiddo. Keep that chin of yours up. We'll learned more about these things and how to control them appropriately."

"Sounds good." I said before I kissed his cheek and walked down to meet the boys around the back side of the impala as they finished packing us up.

I walked up and nudged the back of Judson's knee, dipping his leg and catching his attention.

"Hey." I mumbled as I watched Dean grab his bag. "You coming with us?"

"Yeah. Dean thought it might be good to have an extra set of hands with everything that's happened. And, I kinda thought maybe you wouldn't mind."

"I don't." I smiled at him.

"Good." He said as he snaked his arm around my waist.

"Alright. Let's go." Dean called as he slammed the trunk. We all jumped in and waived a goodbye to Bobby. We weren't really sure where we were going, but we were gonna drive till we picked up a case. It was good for us to get out on the road like we used to.

And even better for me that Judson was in the car. It was agonizing. His knee brushing against mine constantly, him looking at me when my head was turned, me looking at him when he turned his attention to the window. Slowly but surely I kept inching my way closer to him, until I could easily brushy my arm against his lap without alerting either of my brothers in the front seat.

When I made my move Judson arched his back off the seat, and I immediately knew that he was feeling the same heat I was. He carefully dipped is hand low behind my back, letting his finger trace along the edge of my underwear underneath my jeans. Pulling on it occasionally. I reached my hand down in one bold move and gripped him tightly, feeling his girth fill my hand.

Then just as quickly I released and sat back against the seat. Cutting off his access to my waist line.

"Hey Dean." I called after a minute.

"Yeah kiddo?"

"I need to pee, can we stop soon?"

"Seriously? We've only been on the road for a few hours."

"Please De!" I whined selling it. Judson bit his lip to hold back a grin.

"I need to take a leak anyways." Sam sighed.

"Fine." Dean rolled his eyes.

…..

"Damn I missed this." He growled as he pushed me against the wall of the women's bathroom. I gripped his hair and pulled his head backwards, my body grinding against his. I trailed my tongue up the side of his neck.

"I missed you." I whispered in his ear.

"We only have a minute before Dean comes looking." He said as his hands kneaded my breasts, causing a light moan to escape my lips.

"I don't care." I breathed. Reaching down for him. But he spun me and now it was my face against the wall instead of my back. He grinded against my ass and slightly pulled my hair. I had never seen this side of him, it was torture knowing we were alone in this room but couldn't continue any further… knowing that if we tried we'd only be busted.

"Soon babe. Soon." He promised as he let me go and slipped out of the bathroom. I took a few minutes to calm myself and become presentable again. On my way out I stopped and got a box of nerds and a cold water. Putting myself in the front seat this time since Sam and Judson were already in the back. I propped my feet up and turned back to smile at Judson as Dean pulled out of the parking lot.

Three hours later we were still on the road, but the boys in the back were snoozing. Which left me and Dean to chat. I knew he was begging to ask me things, but that he had held back for now.

"So how you holding up these days kiddo?"

"I'm okay."

"How are you doing without the pills?"

"A little shaky, but I'm making it. I think its just best I steer clear of any temptation for a while."

"We can do that. What about your abilities… are they bad?"

"Well… actually I kinda wanted to show you something. I wasn't able to do much with them when I was strung out. But I did have this one moment of solidarity and clear minded focus and uh… well. Watch this, but don't freak out!"

"Okay?" He said cautiously as I picked up my water bottle. He glanced back and forth between the open road and me as I unscrewed the cap and took a deep breath, then I opened my eyes and held the bottle face level, tipping it slowly as some water poured out, into my hand. I set down the bottle and slowly dropped my hand, but the water stayed floating mid air. Dean's eyes widened and his foot slowly put pressure on the break as he came to a stop.

I stayed focused on the puddle of water in front of me. I barely noticed as Dean reached out to touch it, when he did I blinked and it fell, splashing us both.

"Where the hell did you learn that?" He asked with wide eyes.

"In the shower."

"Wow."

"Yeah… tell me about it. I was messing with that creek outside of Bobby's property line. I can do it a little but my strength was so dulled down by the pills I couldn't do much with it."

"So is that emotion controlled?"

"I don't think so... it's different. It's like focus controlled. It feels different. I don't know to be honest with you though."

"Well you know I'm kind of against you pushing these things, but I gotta be honest I'm kinda curious to see where that goes.

"Tell me about it." I chuckled. "Might come in handy with some hidden holy water ya know?"

"Smart!" Dean called pointing to me.

"It still kinda freaks me out, De."

"I know kiddo. Its okay though, we'll figure it out together."

"Promise?"

"Promise… even though I don't have the best track record with those lately."

"Eh, that was in your past life. You've been reborn." I smiled. He shot me that classic Dean smile back before we turned up the radio and went back to the drive.

…..

"Alright. That's the last of it." Sam said as he set our bags on the floor of the motel. The sun had set about an hour ago and I was starting at the lamp on the table, causing it to flicker back and forth.

"Em, what are you doing?"

"I don't know." I sighed. "I'm gonna pop next door with Judson until the showers free. You can have it after Dean."

"Okay kiddo. Don't be over there long or you know he'll come looking for you." Sam said with raised eye brows and a pointed look.

"Oh yeah, cause I'm really looking to get laid with my brothers next door." I said rolling my eyes.

"If you're anything like Dean then you have no shame."

"… Fair point." I nodded before winking to him and walking out. He shot me one last warning glare.

I hopped over to the room next door and knocked twice, leaning against it to hear the locks click. When it opened I sprung into Judson's arms and he caught me effortlessly. I wrapped my legs around his shirtless waist as he carried me in the room, kicking the door closed.

My lips molded against his the entire time.

"You're in a good mood today." He mumbled as he pulled back.

"Yeah."

"Dean's next door." He said with a slight pout.

"I know." I pouted back. "Doesn't mean I couldn't come kiss you goodnight."

"Well I guess that's okay."

"Better be!"

He laughed.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked as he brushed my hair with his fingers. "Your eyes look distracted."

"I don't know. All kinds of things. Where we go form here… "

"We take it one day at a time. We figure out how to deal with angels."

"Its kind of amazing isn't it? To think that angels wanted something to do with Dean? That they saved him. It still blows my mind."

"Yeah it is babe."

"It kinda makes me sad too… that Dean thinks he wouldn't be deserving of that. He's the best person I know." I mumbled.

"Yeah, he's pretty awesome." Judson nodded. "When he's not threatening to beat me up."

We both laughed.

….

I was soundly sleeping but got the strange feeling I was being watched, and that put me on edge, which eventually led me to wake up. I peeked open my eye and found Sam's bed empty.

Shit.

I slowly reached for my gun under my pillow and gently nudged Dean, trying to wake him up. I could tell he was twitching, and sweaty, but he wouldn't wake up. When he didn't stir I rolled over, gun pointing at whoever was at the foot of our bed.

"Hello Emily. What were you dreaming about?"

"Seriously?! Do you get off on watching us?" I asked, I elbowed Dean who shot up wide awake. Obviously waking from a nightmare.

"Castiel?" He asked confused as I lowered my gun.

"Both of you listen to me. You have to stop it.

"Stop what?" I asked, but the next thing I know his finger was against my forehead and everything was warm, soft, and dark.

Until someone was shaking my shoulder.

"Move it along guys, you can't sleep here." The cop said as he shook both Dean and I awake. When we sat up he continued walking.

"Uhhh… Dean. What the hell just happened? Where are we?!"

"I don't know." He said reaching for his phone, when he pulled it out it had no signal. "Perfect."

"Let's go see if the diner has a phone, we can call someone."

Dean nodded and followed as we entered Jay Bird's Diner. It was small and laid back. Dean and I walked up to the front counter and took the last two open seats.

"Hey, where the hell am I?" Dean asked the young man sitting next to him.

"Jay Bird's Diner."

"No shit Sherlock." I said leaning around Dean. "What about city and state?"

"Lawrence, Kansas."

My blood grew cold in a moment's notice… Home.

Well, never really home for me. But for our family.

"Lawrence." Dean mumbled after swallowing the lump in his throat.

"Yeah, you okay buddy? You two look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yeah, tough night." Dean nodded faking a smile.

"Hey, uh, coffee here, Reg." He called to the waiter on the other side of the counter, pointing to the two of us.

"Coming right up" The nice older man smiled.

"Can you tell me where I can get reception on this thing?" Dean asked pulling out his phone again.

"The USS Enterprise?" The man replied with a smirk. I sat confused, trying to understand the joke. I then took a longer look at the man. Hippie. Stuck in his good ole days for sure.

"Nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up, right?" I smiled to him.

"Sonny and Cher broke up?" He asked me with the most broken expression I've seen in days. I went to reply… but my voice was stuck. I met eyes with Dean and they quickly went wide as we looked around and realized EVERYONE was dressed like it was the 1970s…. holy shit.

"Uh. Dean." I mumbled. Pointing to the headline about Nixon on the newspaper the man sitting behind me was reading. I watched him mouth the words as he read them.

"Hey, Winchester." An older man called, putting me on edge. How the hell does he know my name?! Dean and I both turned our heads to see the young man seated next to Dean stand and greet the old man.

I'll be damned. How could I not have recognized those brown eyes sooner! Daddy!

"Son of a bitch. How you doing, Corporal?"

"Hey, Mr. D." Daddy smiled to him.

"I heard you were back."

"Yeah, a little while now."

"Good to have you home, John, damn good."

Hearing his name ring in my ears once more made my heart lurch forward. I grabbed Dean's arm in attempt to steady myself, I heard him whisper the word 'Dad' before he turned to look at me, then back at our father.

"Well, say hello to your old man for me."

"You got it, Mr. D."

After the man finished occupying his attention he turned to Dean and I, who probably looked like dumb fucks with our mouths hanging open, because Daddy shot us an odd look.

"Do we know each other?"

"I guess not." Dean answered.

"Take it easy." Daddy said smiling as he got up to walk away.

"Yeah." I breathed. Still in shock.

I waited till he wasn't looking before grabbing Dean by the collar.

"Dean! We have to follow him!" I urged, Dean jumped up and grabbed my wrist, pulling me along closely behind him. We trailed dad for a while before turning a corner, but when we did we bumped straight into Castiel.

"What is this?" Dean immediately asked in a whispered yell.

"What does it look like?" Castiel asked with a flat face.

"Is it real?" I asked, failing to hide the desperation in my voice.

"Very."

"Okay, so what? Angels got their hands on some Deloreans? How did we get here?"

"Time is fluid, Emily. It's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion."

"Well bend it back or tell me what the hell we're doing here!" Dean yelled.

"I told you, you have to stop it."

"Stop what? Huh? What, is there something nasty after my Dad?"

A honking car got my attention, when I turned back around Castiel had disappeared.

"Oh what the fuck! Are you allergic to answers or some shit!" I yelled at the sky.

"Did you see which way he went?" Dean asked getting back on track to follow Dad.

"No, but we can just keep walking and cross our fingers?" I shrugged as I walked forward. We continued to walk until we came up to a used car dealership. There he was. Buying a VW van. What the fuck?

"Oh Baby." Dean sighed, I followed his eyes and they landed on the beautiful much newer than I'm used to 67 impala. Black.

"Uh. Dean. If you want to go back to our time zone and ever drive baby again then I suggest you start talking him out of that damn van."

Dean cringed and slowly walked up behind dad… John. Or. Whatever!

"That's not the one you want." He called out as he leaned against the impala.

"You two following me?" He asked looking up to us.

"No, no, we were just passing by. I never got to thank you for that cup of coffee this morning. I was a little out of it."

"More than a little." I added with a small smile. Dad smiled back. "Let us repay the favor. My brother knows cars."

"This is the one you want." Dean said patting the hood.

"Oh yeah? And how do you know all about cars?"

"Yeah... yeah, my Dad taught me everything I know. And this – this is a great car." Dean smiled and then popped the hood, Daddy came over and joined beside him. I took a step back, looking at them side by side. Both so strong. So full of life. So handsome… and I wished all of a sudden Sam was here.

Why wasn't Sam here? Why wasn't he in our hotel room when we woke up?

"327 four barrel, 275 horses. A little TLC and this thing is cherry."

"You know man, you're right."

"Then what are you buying that thing for?"

"I kinda promised someone I would."

"Over a '67 Chevy? I mean, come on, this is the car of a lifetime. Trust me, this thing's still gonna be badass when it's 40."

Dad nodded his head slightly and reached out his hand to Dean, shaking it.

"I'm John Winchester. Thanks."

"Dean Van Halen – and thank you. My sister Emily and I appreciate your kindess this morning."

"We were in pretty rough shape this morning, huh?" I smiled to him.

"No kidding."

"I've been hung over before but, hey, I was, I was getting chills in that diner. You didn't feel any of those cold spots, did you?" I asked. Dean shot me a curious look.

"Nope. Can't say I did."

"I swore I smelled something weird too, you know? Like... like rotten eggs. You didn't happen to smell any sulfur by chance?"

"No." He said sending me an odd glance.

"No right." I smiled. "... There been any cattle mutilations in town recently?"

"Okay. Stop it."

"Yeah, if only she knew what to stop. Listen, uh – watch out for yourself okay?" Dean said standing in front of me and cutting me off.

"Yeah, sure." Dead nodded. Dean patted the impala and then pulled me away and back around the corner.

"What the hell Em?!"

"I'm sorry! I'm just worried about him! I mean, does he even act like a hunter?"

"No, but that doesn't mean you can freak him out!"

"I'm sorry De. What do we do now?"

"I don't know…

"Where's Sam?"

"Not here kiddo." Dean sighed.

"He wasn't in the motel room De."

"I know."

"… He's hiding something isn't he?"

Dean just gave me a sad look and turned, walking back down the road.

Dean and I grabbed the most inconspicuous ride that was readily available and caught up to Dad, who had parked the impala outside of a house in a nice neighborhood. We watched as he went inside, and then came out with a beautiful blonde girl.

But they began to bicker about the vehicle, she asked about the van, he repeated all the things Dean had told him about the car to try and sway her, and then he said her name…

Mary.

"Mom?" Dean whispered. "Whoa… Mom's a babe."

"Dean!" I said tapping the back of his head, although he was right. She was beautiful. "Watch your mouth or you're going to hell… again."

"Yeah yeah. I wish Sammy was here to see this."

"Me too."

We followed them as they drove to a diner back in town. They sat at a table by the window thankfully so we didn't have to go inside. We were able to creep from the alley across the street. We watched for about a half an hour as they talked and I was amazed. Dad was just this normal guy. Mom was just this normal girl. And here they were on a date like all cute young couples do. Something I've wanted to have so desperately for myself.

And now I wished Judson was here… I wished we could go on a date just like this one here. No monsters. No demons. No angels bursting in and sending us back in time.

Suddenly mom stood and walked away from the table.

"Where's she going?"

"I don't know Em."

Dean and I leaned back against the wall.

"What do you think we're here to stop?"

"Don't you think if I knew then I would have told you?"

"Yeah." I sighed. "She's pretty Dean."

"Just like you." He smiled to me.

"I wish I knew her."

"I wish you did too kiddo. She would be so proud of you." He said as he reached up and pushed some hair behind my ear.

"Proud of what exactly? My junky habits? My weaknesses? Murder?"

"You gotta stop looking at yourself that way Em. You're too strong to let any of that hold you down. You need to hold on to all the good things you've done. You gotta remember that your heart is full of gold kiddo."

"… You overestimate me De."

"No. You underestimate yourself."

Before I could respond chills went up my back, followed by a voice.

"Why are you following us?"

I turned around but was quickly punched, then Mom leaned forward and kicked Dean in the stomach, but he recovers quickly.

"Are you crazy?" He called out to her, she continued to attack him, but he manages to pin her against the wall instead.

"You've been trailing us since my house."

"I don't know what you're talking about –"

"Really?" She asked kneeing him in the balls, he released her and she went to run but I tripped her and pulled her back against the wall again.

"Okay, how about we talk about this?" I asked.

"Let me go!" She struggled against me, but Dean stepped forward and grabbed her arm, raising it towards me. It was silver, and covered in protection charms.

What. The. Fuck.

"Are you a hunter?" I quickly asked.

"Yes." She finally said after looking between the two of us.

"Us too." I told her as I released her. "I'm Emily. This is Dean."

"Why are you following us." She demanded.

"Working a case, think there may be something going on in town." Dean told her.

"Well I don't want John to know, so if you could just hang back until he drops me off… we'll talk later." She said as she pushed past us and quickly back into the diner.

"Dean. What the fuck just happened." I said as we walked back to our stolen vehicle.

"Mom… she's a hunter."

"But. I thought… I thought Dad didn't do any of this till she died?!"

"Me too!" He said frustrated.

"Okay can we sit still for five fucking seconds please! I'm kinda freaking out and you're walking too fast!"

Dean stopped and turned around with a huff.

"Look. We have to follow them. If she's a hunter then she's probably the target of whatever it is we have to stop! We can't let mom out of our sight. Anything happens to her and we may never be born."

"… Oh god." My stomach sank.

…

We followed back and waited for Dad to leave before exiting the car and meeting mom… Mary. In the driveway.

"Dean, right? I'm not sure you two should come in."

"You can trust us. I mean, come on, we're all hunters, right? I mean, we're – we're practically family."

Yeah. Practically.

"Yeah, thing is, my Dad, he's a little, um..."

"Oh, I gotta meet him."

"You've heard of him?"

"Clearly not enough." I added with wide eyes.

"Okay." She finally nodded. Leading us in.

"Wait here." She said as we entered and she shut the door behind us. I could hear voices in the other room. First quietly, then louder. Suddenly a man appeared from around the corner.

"So, you're hunters? Well, tell me something, you kill vampires with wooden stakes or silver?"

"Neither." Dean and I responded simultaneously. Then Dean took over.

"You cut their heads off."

Mom smiled at us.

"So, do we pass your test?" I asked.

"Yep. Now get out of my house."

"Dad!" Mary yelled.

"I don't trust other hunters, don't want their help, don't want them around my family."

"Knock it off, Samuel." A female voice called from the other room.

"They're hunters." He called back. Footsteps grew louder as a kind woman with a soft face entered the room.

"Who passed your little pop quiz, and now I am inviting them to dinner. Are you hungry?"

"Starving." Dean responded.

"Good. I'm Deanna, you've met my husband Samuel, now wash up."

"Samuel and Deanna…" I whispered to myself.

"I'm sorry dear?" She called out hearing me.

"Oh, sorry. Where's your restroom?"

"Down the hall on the left, we'll be waiting for you two at the table when you're done."

Dean followed as We both walked down the hall and washed our hands in silence. Both taking in the moment. Taking in what all of this was… we had grandparents. But… what happened to them? I don't think I ever heard Daddy talk about Samuel or Deanna? Why?

….

"First time in Lawrence, you two?" Deanna asked us.

"Well, it's been a while. Things sure have changed... I think."

"You working a job?" Samuel asked.

"Yeah, maybe." I answered.

"What's that mean?"

"It means I don't trust other hunters either, Samuel." I answered with a smirk. Deanna smiled.

"I like her." Mary then said to Samuel.

I like you too… the words wanted to fall out of my mouth desperately, but I held them back.

"Hey, um, so why were you following me and John?"

"Mmm, I thought something was after your, um, boyfriend, but um, I don't think that anymore." Dean half answered.

"John Winchester mixing it up with spirits, can you imagine?"

"Yeah." I sighed awkwardly.

"I saw that." Mary, mom, said to Samuel.

"What?"

"That sour lemon look."

"Now hold on, John's a really, really nice... naive civilian."

My father? A naïve civilian?!

"So what? You'd rather me be with a guy like this?" She said nodding to Dean.

"What? No, no. No." Dean began rambling.

"Mary, of course not, it's just that I –"

"That's enough, both of you, we have company." Deanna said cutting them off.

"So what about you, Samuel, you, uh, working a job?" I asked.

"Might be." He winked to me.

"He's working a job on the Whitshire Farm." Mary answered for him, Samuel shooting him dirty look. Oh yeah. Those definitely run in the family.

"Whitshire, why does that name sound familiar to me?" Dean asked.

"Well, it's been all over the papers. Tom Whitshire. Got tangled up in a combine a few towns over."

"That kind of thing happens."

"So why was he on it in the first place when his crops are all dead?"

"Demonic omens?" I asked.

"That's what I gotta find out."

"What about the rest of the town? Well, did you find anything on the web? ...Of information that you have assembled." I quickly tried to regain my sentence remembering that the internet wasn't readily available.

"Electrical storms maybe. The weather service graphs should be here on Friday." Deanna smiled.

"By mail?"

"No, we hired a jet liner to fly 'em to us overnight."

Geez. Hunting back in the day was difficult.

"You know, it sounds to me like we might be hunting the same thing. You know if we go in there in numbers, we could take care of this real quick." Dean suggested.

"What part of "we work alone" do you not understand, son?"

"Right." Dean nodded.

"Well. We better get going." I smiled. "Thank you for dinner Deanna." … Grandma.

…..

The next day Dean and I split for the farm before Samuel could make it there, Dean took the inside with the parents, and I put my good rack to use with the boy outside. Hoping he would feel chatty. As we continued our conversation, I caught the sight of Mary… mom, and Dean walking towards us.

"Charlie, would you like to tell the Father and sister here what you just told me?" I asked him as Dean stood next to me. Mary looked between us curiously.

"Dad drank sometimes. Sometimes he got rough with Mom." Charlie admitted uncomfortably.

"And that's when the stranger came?" Mary asked.

"I just thought he was some Bible thumper, like you all. He showed up about a week ago."

"Saying what?" Dean asked him.

"Did I want the beatings to stop? I just thought he was crazy, I didn't think – and the next thing I know, Dad's dead. Am I going to jail?"

"You didn't do this, Charlie." I reached out and touched his arm gently.

"Did the stranger want something in return?" Dean asked.

"He didn't want anything."

"Come on, Chuck, he wasn't just handing out freebies now, was he?"

"He did say something about comin' a callin' ten years from now. Maybe he'd want something then."

"Something like what?" Mary asked.

"I don't know, okay? Look, I told you he was nuts."

"Excuse us for a second Charlie." I smiled to him, Mom, Dean and I stepped aside in whispered tones.

"What do you think?" I asked looking up to Dean.

"I think he just pimped his soul to a demon and doesn't even know it."

"Yeah. That's what I was afraid of."

Mary… mom… whatever! Turned back to Charlie.

"Charlie, do you remember what this stranger looked like?"

"Yeah, he was about 5'10, white, normal looking really."

"Anything else?"

"There was one thing. It's just, the light hit his eyes in a weird way and... for a moment I coulda sworn –"

"What? That they were black? Or red maybe?" Dean asked.

"No, they were yellow. Pale yellow."

I instinctively reached out and grabbed Dean as my body froze.

Yellow eyes… he's here.

…

"What do you say we just slow down and talk this thing through." Samuel proposed as Dean and I scrambled to find a legitimate map.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Except you're saying it's a demon, and none of us has ever heard of a demon with yellow eyes."

"Yeah, well, we have. This thing killed our family." I shot back at him.

"Just calm down, kid."

"You don't get it, do you? You are in danger, we are all in danger. In fact, you need to get yourself someplace safe. You need to get Mary some place safe!"

"Not until we know what we're dealing with here."

"Sam's right, Emily, it could be a demon, it could be a shapeshifter, it could be any number of things." Deanna said entering the room with a fruit salad.

"We know what this thing is, I promise!"

"And I'm gonna kill it, that's all the talking I need to do." Dean then said.

"You're gonna kill a demon? How?"

"There's a hunter named Daniel Elkins. He lives in Colorado, he has Colt's gun. The Colt."

"Yeah, I heard about the Colt, used to tell it to Mary as a bedtime story."

"Well, it's real." I mumbled as Dean and I poured over the map.

"Alright, say that it is. You got some kind of crystal ball telling you where this demon's gonna be?"

"Yeah, maybe I do." Dean said pulling out Dad's old journal. It's been forever since I've seen it.

"What's this?" Samuel asked.

"It's a list."

"Of what?"

"My Dad wrote down anyone he thought ever came in contact with the Yellow Eyed Demon: who, where and when."

"Why?"

"Cause the more he could learn about the son of a bitch, the more he could figure out why it killed our Mom." I answered.

"Whitshire Farm. I told you that name sounded familiar." Dean said pointing the farm out.

"Whitshire Farms, that was two days ago. How the hell is that on your Dad's list?"

"Uh... my Dad could see the future. Look at this, it says he's gonna hit here tomorrow night."

"Liddy Walsh?"

"Haleyville, that's close De, look." I pointed to it on the map.

"I mean, yeah, it's about three miles, but..." Samuel shrugged, looking over at Deanna.

"I know you guys think we're crazy." Dean admitted.

"You seem like a really nice kids, but yeah, you're crazy. And this one here can't be older than Mary. So I kinda have a hard time taking her seriously." He said pointing to me.

"Well you should." Dean told him. "She's done nothing but this job her whole life. She's good. And I happen to know where this bastards gonna be, and I'm gonna stop it for good." Dean said taking the journal and stomping out of the room.

"Geez, does he always get this worked up?" Samuel asked.

"This demon is the entire reason our father started hunting. It's the sole reason we became hunters. Its done a lot of terrible things to our family. Hurt us in ways I hope you never understand. So yeah, he gets a little worked up." I said before wandering out myself. I could hear Dean shuffling things in the other room, packing us up to leave. I went to find Mom.

"Hey." I said as I entered her room. I looked around, at the posters, pictures of friends, pictures of her and Daddy. I wondered where those pictures might be. Probably destroyed in the fire.

"Hey, getting anywhere out there?"

"Yeah. We are. I just. Thought I'd come see what was up."

"Oh, not much. Daddy usually lets me dip out on the research. Says he'd rather me keep up with my life."

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Have a stable home? A life… and be a hunter?"

"I hate hunting. And I think if Dad had his ways then we'd travel more now that I'm out of school, but Mom knows that I like my life, and my friends. So she's anchored him here."

"Your mom sounds pretty great."

"She is. The best mom ever."

"What about you… ever wanted to be a mom?" I asked sitting across from her on the bed.

"Yeah." She smiled. "Someday… John and I have talked about it. I want a big family, I've always wanted brothers or sisters so I want our kids to have them. John's an only child too. So he was on board."

"Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"A girl." She smiled wide. I could have cried just at how beautiful she was. "I want a little girl who wants to play dress up and have tea parties, and we can wear matching outfits and girls nights when she gets older. She can be a cheerleader like me!"

"You were a cheer leader?" I asked.

"Co-captain. Would have been captain but daddy made me miss some games and I got bumped."

"Well for the record I think you'll be a great mom."

"Thanks."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What's… what's John like?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Just curious. He was kinda hard to get a read on, and I usually read people pretty well."

"I don't know. He's sweet, kind. Even after the war, after everything, he still believes in happily ever after, you know? He's everything a hunter isn't. No offense."

"None taken." I smiled.

"Can I tell you something?"

I nodded.

"He's gonna ask me to marry him. Tomorrow, I think!"

"Yeah?" I asked excited.

"Oh, Dad's gonna explode, but I don't care. I'll run away if I have to, I just… I love John, and..."

"And what?"

"I wanna get out. This job, this life, I hate it. I want a family, I wanna be safe. You know the worst thing I can think of? The very worst thing? Is for my children to be raised into this like I was. No, I won't let it happen."

Tears filled my eyes. I wanted to badly to wrap my arms around her. To hold her, to have her hold me… I want my mom. I want her to BE my mom.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm good…" I said wiping my face. A knock on the door got our attention.

"We're shoving off. I just wanted to say, bye."

"Really? So soon?"

"Yeah – job to do. Hey, I wanted to – to tell you, you know for what it's worth. Um... it doesn't matter what your Dad thinks, I like that John kid."

"Me too." I added. Mom smiled up at Dean.

"You do?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think you two are meant to be." He said before dropping his voice to a whisper. "Hell, we're depending on it."

"What?"

"Oh nothing. Hey, uh, Mary, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Even if this sounds really weird. Will you promise me that you will remember?"

"Okay."

"On November 2nd, don't get out of bed. No matter what you hear, or what you see. Promise me you won't get out of bed."

Mary looked at him odd for a moment, before agreeing.

"Okay."

I stood as a tear made its way down Dean's face. He smiled to Mary as I waved, and just like that we were both out the door.

…..

Dean and I were driving down the road in silence. I was curled into his side, his thumb absent-mindedly rubbing against my shoulder. We had so much to take in. So much to say, yet neither of us could really find the words. I knew we'd talk later… but for now we both just soaked in the moment.

Until the odd sensation of something appearing next to my foot caught my attention. Dean also looked over.

Castiel was suddenly riding shotgun.

"So what? God's my co-pilot, is that it?" Dean asked him. Castiel looked at him, then at me, then turned back to the road. "Well, you're a regular Chatty Cathy. Tell me something. Sam would have wanted in on this, why not bring him back?"

"Yeah. He should be here." I agreed sitting up to face the angel.

"The two of you needed to take this journey without him. There are things you must see."

"And you don't care that he's tearing up the future looking for us right now? Judson too?" I asked.

"Judson is sleeping peacefully, and Sam's not looking for you."

"Alright, if we do this, then the family curse breaks, right? Mom and Dad live happily ever after, and – and, Sam and Em and I grow up playing little league and gymnastics?"

"You realize, if you do alter the future, your father, you, Sam – you'll never become hunters. And all those people you saved, they'll die."

The weight of that sunk into my stomach… all those people. Dead. Its just like the genie all over again, but that world was pretend. This one is real.

"I realize." Dean answered quickly.

"Judson won't be there in the future anymore will he?" I asked quietly.

"No." Castiel quickly answered.

"We get it." Dean cut in.

"And you don't care?" Castiel asked.

"Oh, I care. I care a lot, but these are my parents. I'm not gonna let them die again. I can't. No, not if I can stop it."

Without responding the angel disappeared again. I sat up and began to anxiously pick at my jeans. Contemplating. If we save Mom… Save Dad… all those people will die.

I won't have Judson.

We won't live this life, will I even remember any of it when we go back? Shouldn't Sam be here to get a vote in this? The line between what's right and what's wrong waivered back and forth in my brain. What I want changed by the second.

Dean handled Elkins on his own when we got there, then we went straight to Liddy's but when we got there I quickly recognized the vehicle.

"Dean. That's Samuels truck!"

"Shit." He mumbled as he bolted, I followed behind him. Dean came through the door and I tailed him closely, once the main room was in view we could easily see that yellow eyes had Mary.

"Let her go!" Dean jumped out and yelled.

"Where'd you get that gun?" Yellow eyes asked.

Dean cocked the gun and motioned for Mary to go to Samuel. She did, and as soon as she broke away from him he disappeared in a puff of black smoke.

….

"Mary, what else did he say to you?" Dean asked as we stood outside the house.

"I told you, just that he liked me."

I swapped a fearful look with Dean. This is bad… this is really bad.

"What did he mean by that?" She asked us.

"Nothing good." I admitted to her.

"Liddy's a strong kid, she'll be fine." Samuel said walking over to join us. "Are you okay, Mary?"

"No, Dad, I'm pretty far from okay. Can we go?"

"Yeah go ahead and get in the truck." We watched as she walked, then Samuel turned to face us. "Nice job in there."

"I missed the shot."

"Take the compliment, son. I'm saying that I was wrong about you."

"We need to talk alone."

"Follow us back." Samuel nodded.

Dean and I trailed them closely, watching for any demonic signs.

"We gonna tell him?"

"I think we have to at this point…"

"De. I feel like they went there because of us. What if yellow eyes found mom, BECAUSE of us?"

Dean didn't respond. Instead he just gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. It made me sick.

…

"We have to kill this thing now, or Mary dies." Dean told Samuel as soon as we got him alone.

"What? How do you know that?"

"We just do, okay?" I pleaded with him.

"When?"

"I don't know, maybe today, probably years from now, but it's happening, trust me." Dean nodded.

"So what, are you some kind of a psychic now too?"

"De… just tell him."

"Tell me what?"

"Alright… listen to me very closely." Dean said sitting and leaning across the table to speak with Samuel in a hushed tone.

"Now, this is gonna sound a little... actually it's gonna sound massively, massively crazy."

"Okay."

"Mary is our mother."

"Excuse me?" Samuel asked looking between the two of us.

"I am your grandson, Emily is your granddaughter, and I know what the hell I'm talking about."

Samuel sat and stared at us in shock for a moment.

"You wanna run that by me again, son?"

"My real name is Dean Winchester. I was born January 24th, 1979. My parents are Mary and John Winchester. Emily is my little sister. She's 17. And we have a middle brother named Sam Winchester. We are your family."

"I don't have to listen to this." Samuel said getting up.

"Mary gets killed by a yellow eyed demon when I'm six months old." I said cutting him off. "And I think that this – what happened tonight – I think this is the moment that he caught her scent. Now, if we don't catch this thing now, and kill it, and it gets away? Then Mary dies. So I am asking you, please. I never knew my mother, your daughter, but I want to. So badly. Don't let me lose her again."

"How the hell am I supposed to believe any of this?"

"How did I know about the Colt? Huh? How did I know about the Yellow Eyed Demon? Or where it would be? We're not making this up, Samuel." Dean told him.

"Every bone in my body is aching to put you six feet under, but there's something about you – I can't shake it. Now, I may be crazier than you, son, but I believe you."

"Thank you."

"I mean, how do we find this bastard?"

"Right here, the list." Dean said opening up Dad's journal.

"And with the Colt?"

"Yeah." Dean said pulling it out.

"Here, let me see it."

Dean hesitated and moved away from Samuel by a step or two, putting himself between Samuel and I.

"Sorry, I don't let anybody hold it."

"I'm your grandfather."

"Nothing personal.

"Sure it is, especially when it's me you're trying to kill." Samuel crooned as his eyes colored over with yellow. The demon raised his hand and slams Dean and I against the wall.

"Future boy, huh? Brought your little sister along I see. I only know one thing that's got the juice to swing something like that. You must have friends in high places. So, I kill your Mommy? That's why you came all this way? To see little old me?"

"Oh, we came here to kill you." I spat, getting his attention on me.

"Hey, wait a minute, if that slut Mary's your Mommy, are you... are you one of my psychic kids?"

I closed my eyes and focused, letting the slow burn simmer throughout my body, then I quickly reached out my arm and threw Yellow eyes against the wall. He released Dean and I, and we held our ground.

He laughed as he stood up again.

"Well, that must mean this all works out! Brilliant! After all its why I'm here."

"So that's what this is about, these deals you're making. You don't want these people's souls." Dean put together.

"No, I just want their children. I'm here to choose the perfect parents, like your Mommy."

"Why her? Why any of them?"

"Because they're strong. They're pure, and they eat their Wheaties. My own little master race – they're ideal breeders."

Dean's brow furrowed. I crunched my hand and watched the Demon fall over in pain, but he quickly stood up again with a smile.

"Damn, you gotta teach me that one girlie!"

"What do you mean breeders?" Dean asked.

"Oh, get your mind out of the gutter. No one's breeding with me. Though, Mary? Man, I'd like to make an exception. So far, she's my favorite."

"Shut up!" I yelled as I hit him again. But he just kept coming… he's strong. Stronger than I remembered.

"So why make the deals?" Dean asked.

"I need permission. I need to be invited, into their houses, I know, I know, the – the red tape'll drive you nuts, but in ten short years, it'll all be worth it. 'Cause you know what I'm gonna do to your siblings? I'm gonna stand over their crib and I'm gonna bleed into their mouth. Demon blood is better than Ovaltine, vitamins, minerals – it makes you big and strong."

Oh my god… Demon blood?! Sam and I… there's. There's demon blood in us?! I began to heave in short and shallow breaths, losing my focus, feeling the ground shake beneath me, but Dean just kept going.

"For what? So they can lead your discount demon army? Is that your big plan?"

"Please, my end game's a hell of a lot bigger than that kid."

"End game? What end game?"

"Like I'm gonna tell you, or those angels sitting on your shoulder. No, I'm gonna cover my tracks good. And this one here." He said pointing to me. "I'm gonna give her something extra special… I'm gonna make her my wild card."

"Don't you touch her you bastard!"

"You can cover whatever the hell you want, but I'm still gonna kill you." I growled to him.

"Right. Now that, I'd like to see."

"Maybe not today, but you look into my eyes, you son of a bitch, 'cause I'm the one that kills you." Dean said stepping closer to him.

"So, you're gonna save everybody, is that right? Is that it? Well, I'll tell you one person that you're not gonna save." He pulled out a knife with an evil grin.

"Your Grandpappy."

"NO!" Dean and I yelled as we moved, but it was too late, yellow eyes thrust the knife into Samuel's heart.

"No!" Deanna cries running in from the back doorway, yellow eyes makes a quick move and with the twist of his hand sends her through the air, and then with the snap of his fingers breaks her neck.

"Nooo!" I cried. I reared back and thrust both hands at him. Red haze filling the room, suffocating not only the demon but Dean and myself.

"Emily!" Dean coughed. "Em no!"

I tried to keep my eyes open, but the lack of oxygen was getting to me and for only a second I dropped my hands, and just like that he was gone… leaving Samuel and Deanna both dead in the floor.

I collapsed as Dean grabbed the colt and began running up the stairs, yelling for Mary. I crawled over to Deanna. My grandmother. The kind sweet woman who opened her home to strangers. The woman I never knew.

I bent over and began to cry.

"Em we gotta go find Mary before he does!"

"They're dead." I cried.

"Em come on we gotta go!"

"We got them killed Dean! Our grandparents and we got them killed!"

He dropped the colt and got down on his knees picking up my face in both of his hands.

"Look at me right now Em. We didn't do this… HE did this. We have one more shot to get this son of a bitch and I need your help. Please… please babygirl we gotta go."

I nodded through my tears and followed Dean out the door at a run.

We drove down until we spotted the impala… we pulled up to find Mary kissing yellow eyes, a dead John on the ground between them.

"No!" Dean yelled desperately as he ran with the colt, but the Demon quickly disappeared. Suddenly John came back to life and Mary held him. I leaned into Dean, defeated and more confused now than I ever have been… and suddenly a hand was on my shoulder. I looked up and Castiel touched us both.

Just like that we were back in our motel.

"We couldn't stop any of it. She still made the deal. She still died in the nursery, didn't she?" I cried. Dean sat next to me looking heartbroken.

"Don't be too hard on yourself. You couldn't have stopped it."

"What?" Dean asked angrily, standing to face the angel.

"Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination."

"Then why'd us send me back?" I asked.

"For the truth. Now you know almost everything we do."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"We know what Azazel did to your brother. What we don't know is why – what his endgame is. He went to great lengths to cover that up."

"What did you mean by almost everything?" I asked… nothing that he had not elaborated on that.

"I'm not sure now is the right time to tell you. You appear to be emotional at the moment."

"Dammit dude, just tell us! Could it really be worse then finding out I have demon blood in my system!"

"If you insist. Azazel did to Sam what he did to every other child he encountered. Except for you Emily." The sound of his voice telling me he would 'have something special' rang in my ears. "He fed all of this children his own blood, but when he visited your nursery, the last one he visited as far as we know, he brought a vial."

"What was inside?" Dean asked.

"The blood of Lucifer himself."

"What?!"

I could vaguely hear Dean's voice. All of a sudden everything in me felt trapped. I felt as if air couldn't get to my lungs. That my limbs wouldn't move when I asked them too. That my body didn't even belong to me.

The blood of the devil, running through my veins.

The blood of the devil, taking control of my body.

I wanted to puke. To scream. To cry. But I could only sit in shock.

"What does this mean?" Dean asked Castiel.

"We do not know. She is the only person in existence to share the blood of Lucifer and survive. Many demons have tried to use it to gain power, but after all Lucifer is an angel. So it is in all honestly angel's blood as much as it is the devil's blood."

"Tainted angel's blood." I cut in, not able to look up and meet either of their glances.

"Where is Sam?" Dean finally asked.

"425 Waterman. Your brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean, and we're not sure where it leads. So stop it. Or we will. And as far as Emily goes- we have been, and will continue to be watching her closely. You should know now that if we feel she becomes a threat, she will be dealt with in the same manner."

With that he disappeared.

Once he was out of sight I quickly jumped up and ran to the bathroom, puking up the dinner I had eaten only a few hours ago, but what felt like a day ago. I trembled between heaving, trying to fight off the oncoming panic attack.

I looked out the open door to find Dean sitting on the bed. Staring at nothing. I could tell from here he was just as mind fucked as I was right about now. I slowly gathered myself and washed out my mouth. Then I made my way back into the room.

"We have to go get Sam." He mumbled, not looking at me.

"Can I have a few minutes first?"

"Yeah. We roll out in 10." He replied. Eyes still glued out in front of him. I nodded and quickly stepped out the door. Trying to suck in some fresh air to my lungs. I quickly began knocking on the door next to ours, over and over without stopping until the door flung open.

"Em what the hell is going on?" Judson asked as he looked me up and down reading the panic in my body language.

"I-I just need to s-see you." I sobbed as I pushed my way in and clung to him. He wrapped his long warm arms around my body and ran a trail of kisses down the side of my face.

"Baby what's wrong?" He whispered.

"I-I don't wanna…" I cried into his chest, my entire body shaking like a leaf.

"You're scaring me Em, what the hell happened."

"I. I can't… I don't wanna talk about it." I finally managed to say.

How could I tell him? He'd leave me! Hell my own brother couldn't even look at me… If I tell him then he's going to run out on me and never come back. And I just can't take that right now. I just… I can't lose him right now. I need him.

"Are Sam and Dean okay?"

"I-I think so. We're gonna go get Sam." I said between gasps of air.

"Do you need me to come with you sweetheart?"

"N-no. Dean and I should go alone."

"Are you sure?"

I only nodded this time, afraid my reply would give away my lie. Truth is. I'm not sure what's up. What's down. If they sky was ever fucking blue or not? Everything in my whole life… I don't know what to make of it. Any of it.

I feel like too much had been shoved into my brain over the last few hours. I needed to decompress. I needed to process, and I need to calm the fuck down before this thing got out of hand.

"Em! Let's go!" Dean called to me from outside.

"I gotta go." I said pulling away.

"Okay, hey wait… come here." He said as he pulled me in and kissed me softly, the worry in his eyes only grew as we kissed and then I broke away, leaving to join Dean in the impala. I carefully slid into the passenger seat, pulling up my knees and leaning against the door.

Dean slammed the car in reverse and pulled out onto the road. He reached out for me and I pulled away.

"Hey. Look at me." He pushed, but I shook my head and bit my lip.

"Emily. Look at me."

I finally turned my head.

"Don't lose it on me now kiddo. I don't give a shit what that angel says. You are still MY Emily. I don't care what blood they put in you. You are still the same person. And I'm still with you 100%."

I needed that more than I realized. I let out deep breath as I scooted over in the seat and he wrapped his arm over me. I wrapped both of my small arms around his, kept my eyes closed and gathered myself so that I would be prepared for when we did get to Sam.

"Dean."

"Yeah kiddo?"

"How bad could this be?"

"Bad, Em… bad."


	69. Chapter 69

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for the wait on this one! It was my birthday this week and we had some plans and I've just been out living life and being busy. Plus working. BUT! I'm happy to get another chapter out to you guys and I'm SUPER excited to write the next one! Also be on the lookout for a new Healing Sara chapter this next week! I love you all and sooo appreciate your encouragement and love! You guys mean the world to me! I can't tell you how my heart swells at the reviews! I love you all! Please READ and REVIEW!

Dean and I pulled up to 425 Waterman. An abandoned warehouse with old junker car out front. Give you one guess who drove that here. We were both silent as we entered the building and made our way to the center of the building. I could vaguely hear voices. I reached up and grabbed Dean's arm. Not sure I was ready for what we were about to discover.

"Are we sure we wanna do this?" I whispered.

"We have to kiddo."

"Does it have to be right now? With everything else that's happened tonight?"

"Sweetheart, its best to just rip the damn band aid off, not pick at it for days at a time. Okay?"

I nodded and followed him and he went around the corner and crouched behind a busted up wall. I followed him and my eyes landed n Sam, a man tied to a chair, and a woman… who looked vaguely familiar. It took me a second to realize it was the woman from Sam's motel room the night we went to find him.

"Where's Lilith?" Sam asked the man.

"Kiss my ass." He smiled as his eyes turned black.

"I'd watch myself if I were you."

"Why? Huh? Because you're Sam Winchester, Mr. Big Hero? And yet here you are, slutting around with some demon. Real hero."

…Demon? She's a demon?

Wait. No… it couldn't. He wouldn't.

Would he?!

I looked up and saw Dean's eyebrows knit together, thinking the same thing I was if I had to guess.

"Shut your mouth." Sam said calmly.

"Tell me about those months without your brother. About all the things you and this demon bitch do in the dark."

Sam didn't answer him, just glared at the man in front of him, and my mind began to run a thousand miles an hour. He was with HER. He left me. To be with HER. I wanted to puke. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to cry.

Then as Sam lifted his arm the demon began to choke and cough, black smoke poured out of his mouth and slowly but surely absorbed into the floorboards. As if the demon was being dragged back to hell. After a minute it all vanished and the man leaned back, Sam moved forward to check his pulse. When he did he smiled to the woman in the corner.

To Ruby.

"How'd it feel?" She asked him.

"Good. No more headaches." He answered as he began to untie the man in the chair.

"None? That's good."

"Hey, hey. I got you. It's all right." Sam told the man as he helped out of his chair.

All that time, he left me and went to be with Ruby! I can't fucking believe him… all those phone calls. All those texts and emails. He LIED to my face. He abandoned me for a fucking demon whore. Anger surged through me and I stood to bust through the doorway to the room where they were, but Dean beat me.

He stood and met Sam at the door way, and I stepped in to the side of him.

"So... Anything you wanna tell me, Sam?" Dean asked quickly, I tell from his tone that he was beyond pissed.

"Dean, hold on, okay? Just let me-"

"You gonna say, "let me explain"? You're gonna explain this? Why don't you start with who she is, and what the hell is she doing here?"

"It's Ruby." I answered when neither she or Sam said anything. Sam met eyes with me and had the look of 'damn I've been caught' plastered on his face.

"It's good to see you again, Emily." She smirked to me.

I wasted no time and charged forward, my fist connecting with her face, her arms pushing me backwards until we were both falling to the ground, I swung wildly at her, wanting to feel the breaking of bones against my knuckles.

"Don't!" Sam yelled as Ruby pinned me on the ground. But I reached up and twisted my hand. The veins in her face began to come overly apparent and burn red. I squeezed my hand as tightly as I could and watched as the life began to leave her eyes.

"EMILY! Stop!" Sam yelled pushing Ruby off of me and blocking her from Dean or I. Dean pulled me up off the ground.

"I'll fucking kill you bitch!" I yelled to her, and she moved to attack me before Sam cut her off.

"Ruby don't, just get him out of here." Sam told her. She did as she was told and helped the man back up again from where Sam had leaned him against the wall.

"Well, aren't you an obedient little bitch?" Dean said watching her. She stops and looks up.

"Ruby, he's hurt. Go." Sam reminds her, she begins to leave the room.

"This isn't over." I smiled to her as she shot daggers from her eyes. Dean and I watched until she was out of sight, then we turned back to Sam.

"Dean." Sam sighed, but Dean only turned to leave. "Dean!"

"I can't believe you." I said feeling out of breath as the words left my mouth. My chest tight.

"Em I-"

"You what Sam!? You left me to be with RUBY! That's what you did! You ditched me for her!" I yelled, feeling the pain cut into my voice. "How could you do that to me?"

"Em its more complicated than that. Its not like that I promise."

"Then what is it huh? You didn't want to talk to me about this? Didn't want to tell me about your ability and the fact that you were training how to use it? Because that's just something I wouldn't understand?"

"I'm sorry kiddo."

"… I can't believe you."

I turned to leave and walked out to the front of the building, where I found Dean inside the impala, engine running. I got in and didn't say a word. Neither did Dean.

Speechless…

Once back at the motel I waited for Dean to turn off the engine, but he didn't.

"Dean." I whispered.

"Go crash next door with Judson. I'm gonna go for a drive."

"Okay."

I stepped out of the car and Dean promptly left before I could even reach Judson's door. Once I did I knocked only once, he was obviously still awake at the speed he answered it.

"Hi." I whispered. "Can I crash here tonight?"

"Yeah. Is Dean cool with it?"

"He suggested it actually… if that tells you anything about how our night has gone."

"C'mere babe." He said pulling me inside and closing the door behind us. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he slowly picked me up under my thighs, my legs wrapping around him as well. He walked us over to the bed. He sat on the edge and squeezed me slightly, enforcing the fact that he was here.

I love him.

I really and honestly… I don't know what I'd do without him. I just love him.

We have been this back and forth complication for months now, but here we are. Here he is. He puts up with my bullshit, and puts me in my place when I need it, he always understands when I need to talk... And when I don't.

"I love you."

The words came out barely a whisper, but his hands stilled against my back where they were moving back and forth gently. My breath held itself, waiting to see what he would do next. Would he say it back? Would he run?

Would he apologize and tell me the truth? That he only sticks around because he feels bad for me? That he didn't realize he was getting so caught up in this life with me? That it isn't what he wants…

He pulled his face away from the side of mine, and I kept my chin tilted down, but he lifted it forward and kissed me. He kissed me so gently, but the feel of his lips against mine set them on fire. He scraped his teeth against my bottom lip and pulled back.

"I love you, too."

I wrapped my arms around him again and clung to him for dear life. Afraid this amazing man would hear the truth and leave me. How do I say it? How do I tell him?

"You ready to talk yet? Cause you're scaring me Em."

"So what I tell you I love you and now you get all nervous on me?" I teased. I could feel him chuckle in my arms. I pulled back and finally faced him.

"I don't know where to start…"

"Why are you awake right now? We only went to bed like 4 hours ago?"

"Castiel. He showed up, sent me and Dean back in time… I got to see my parents." I smiled softly. He rubbed his thumb against my cheek. "My mom, Jud. She was so beautiful… she was a hunter."

"Really?"

"Yeah, her whole family were hunters. On her dad's side… its kinda crazy. Cause Daddy never knew… I guess we were kinda destined to fall into this life one way or another."

"So why were you so upset?"

"… We. We found out where mine and Sam's abilities came from." I said looking away from him, feeling my lip start to tremble. His thumb moved to rub against it. Steadying it. I sucked in a breath of air and quickly released it.

"We were fed demon blood as a baby. Yellow eyes, he. He was there that night to turn me into a monster." I looked up at him, his face was steady, portraying no fear or shock if he had any. His gaze just intensified as I spoke, him hanging on every word I said like it may be the last he ever heard. "But then… we found out something else."

"What is it sweetheart?" He asked after I struggled to push out the words.

"The blood he fed me wasn't just demon blood."

"What was it Em?"

"The blood of the devil." I whispered, my voice shaking with the weight of the words. Judson inhaled and held his breath for a moment. Evaluating the situation, taking it all into consideration. My stomach churned as I watched his eyes dart back and forth across my face. A single tear slid down my cheek.

"So what do we do…" He finally asked.

"I don't know." I sighed. "He said something about Sam being on this dark path, and how they want him to be stopped or they'll do it themselves and then they said they hadn't made up their minds about me yet, and we went to find Sam, and he was with Ruby."

"Ruby?!"

"He was with her, the whole time Judson… the whole time I begged him to answer the phone he was running around with her training on how to use his abilities to exorcise demons without the ritual. We caught him doing one tonight… it would have been impressive had I not been so pissed that he lied and hid all this from me."

"Damn… I'm so sorry Em. Is Ruby still breathing?"

"Unfortunately."

"That shocks me." He said pointing his eyes at me.

"Sam forced us apart… I didn't really have the chance to finish. But I will. I'll fucking rip her throat out with my bare fucking hands. I don't need any devil's blood to kill that bitch." I sneered.

"Easy there Rambo."

"… I feel like everything just got so much more complicated than it had to be."

"Yeah, it kinda did Em. But we'll figure it out."

"So. You don't wanna leave?"

His eyes grew wide and he pulled back slightly.

"No! Em, are you serious? You thought I was gonna leave you over all this?"

"Kinda." I whispered.

"I said those words too, and I meant them Em. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. Okay?"

"Promise?"

"Yeah babe I do. I promise." He said pecking me again.

"So since you're not leaving me can we go to sleep? I'm exhausted."

…

The next morning I left Judson to get ready and was surprised to find our door unlocked, I looked around… no impala. But I opened the door anyways, Sam was sitting at the table and instantly stood to greet me. I hesitated for a moment and then my eyes darted to the ground.

"Em wait, please." He asked, but I continued walking until I was safely behind the bathroom door. Alone. I stood there for a few minutes. Ignoring his knocks on the door. Until I heard another door open and close, and then footsteps move away from the bathroom. Then a fair amount of shuffling around.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Sam asked. There wasn't a reply. "What, are you, are you leaving?"

I immediately ripped the door open. Dean froze and looked up at me, then without missing a beat he tossed me my bag and continued packing.

"You don't need us. You and Ruby go fight demons."

Sam stared at me with pain in his eyes. I stood, looking between him and Dean. As angry as I was at Sam, I didn't want to leave. I didn't want him to leave…

"Dean, come on, man." Sam pleaded stepping up to him. Dean turned and punched Sam square in the face, making him take a step back. He reached up to his lip.

"You satisfied?" Dean punched him again, then threw down his bag. I realized then we weren't really leaving. Dean was just making his point. So I set down my bag and leaned back against the wall. "I guess not."

"Do you even know how far off the reservation you've gone?"

"I'm just exorcising demons."

"With your mind ... What else can you do?"

"I can send them back to hell. It only works with demons, and that's it." Sam tried to explain.

"What else can you do?!"

"I told you!"

Dean shook his head for a moment, Sam waiting for the next words to come out of Dean's mouth like his life depended on them.

"And I have every reason in the world to believe that."

"Look, I should have said something. I'm sorry, Dean. I am. But try to see the other side here."

"The other side?" Dean asked with eyebrows raised.

"I'm pulling demons out of innocent people."

"And running around with Ruby again." I added. Sam barely looked my way.

"Use the knife!" Dean yelled.

"The knife kills the victim! What I do, most of them survive! Look, I've saved more people in the last five months than we save in a year."

Dean looked over at me, I was having a hard time reading his face… his mind is running faster than mine. Bouncing from thought to thought.

"That what Ruby want you to think? Huh? Kind of like the way she tricked you into using your powers? When you were finally past them." Dean asked. Sam looked down disappointed. "Slippery slope, brother. Just wait and see. Because it's gonna get darker and darker, and God knows where it ends."

"I'm not gonna let it go too far Dean." Sam said shaking his head. "You don't get it… you were gone, and I was still here. I had to find a way to keep on fighting without you, and I did. And what I do… it works!"

I felt a punch to the gut with his words… I was here too. I still wanted to fight. I still needed Sam when he left. Part of me wanted to bite my tongue… the other part of me told that part to sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up cause she was pissed.

"What about me Sam?!" I said getting his attention. "I was still here too… and YOU left. YOU chose to be Ruby instead of me! I mean seriously, out of everyone in the world who understands who you're going through, why wouldn't you tell me about this? Cause we both know I understand."

"I.. Em. I couldn't."

"Why!"

"Because I just couldn't!"

"… You're so full of shit. You know, I can't help mine sometimes, and here you are training with Demons on how to use yours! Tell me something. If what you're doing is so great then why did you lie about it?!"

Sam looked down at the floor. No answer.

"We know… Sam. Cas told us about what Azazel did."

"What?"

"Yeah… Thanks for lying about that too."

"I just. Thought I was doing what was right." Sam said sadly.

"Why did an angel tell me to stop you?" Dean asked. Sam looked up, surprise on his face.

"What?"

"Cas said that if I don't stop you, he will. See what that means, Sam? That means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me everything is all good?"

Sam's eyes began to tear up, and he pulled his face downward to the ground.

"You want to know the kick here Sam?" Dean asked. "Emily over there… she's being watched too. But for now they hadn't made up their mind. And I think you and I both know there are some questionable things done over the last few months on her part… so how bad is what you're doing when angels are more concerned about stopping you, then her."

A tear fell down Sam's cheek. I wondered whether or not I should tell him… that the blood dripped into my mouth wasn't Azazel's… but Lucifer's.

Sam's phone suddenly rang. Sam moved to answer it.

"Hello?" He said pinching the bridge of his nose, collecting himself. "Hey, Travis. Yeah, hey… Uh.. It's good to hear your voice, too, yeah. Um, look, it's not a really good time right now. It's- Yeah, okay. Uh, well, just give me the details, and, uh… Carthage, Missouri. Looking for Jack Montgomery."

…

"I can't believe it. Mom, a hunter?" Sam asked as we drove down the road. Dean had explained to him our interesting events over the last 12 hours. Judson and I sat in the back, Judson seemed to be very intent on listening to Dean, but I was more intent on forcing him to play with my hair as I laid in his lap. He sighed, but rolled his eyes and continued as I pulled his hand back up to my head.

"I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't seen it myself. That woman could kick some ass. I mean, she almost took me down." Dean laughed.

"How'd she look? I mean... was she happy?"

"Yeah, she was awesome. Funny and smart. So hopeful."

"She wanted out of the life… to have a big family." I mumbled. Sam barely looked back at me. He had mostly refrained from engaging in conversation directly with me. He knew our business was unfinished.

"Dad was happy, too. Until of course..." Dean shrugged. Sam let out a deep long sigh. "What?"

"Nothing… It's just, our parents. And now we find out our grandparents too? Our whole family murdered and for what? So Yellow Eyes could get in my nursery and bleed in our mouth?"

"Yeah. Well. It wasn't his only goal." Dean sighed as his eyes met mine. I shook my head no at him. Sam quickly looked between us.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." I growled at Dean.

"Might as well throw it all out there while we've got a moment to actually be honest with each other." Dean said.

"Sam got to have his secrets… am I not entitled to mine?"

"Not today." Dean mumbled before turning to Sam. "Azazel didn't feed Emily his blood."

"What? He told me that's what he did to all of them?"

"Demon's lie." Dean answered.

I sat up from Judson's lap and pulled me knees up, ignoring as Sam turned back to look at me.

"So what happened then?" Sam asked, looking between the three of us, realizing we were all in on the thing he wasn't.

"He fed me blood… just not his." I mumbled.

"Who's?"

"The devil's." Dean said solemnly. Sam's eyes went wide, he looked back at me in shock. I kept my eyes away from his, I didn't need to see it on his face too. I've already seen it on Dean's. The shock. The fear. The gut rolling truth smacking them in the face. The realization that there's something dark and evil inside of me.

"Well now that we're all well informed can we just shut up and get to Carthage?" I asked.

"Em.. I. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…"

"Me too." I mumbled slipping on my headphones and laying back in Judson's lap. Sam turned around and left me alone for now. I turned my head slightly to look up at Judson. He looked down at me with pity in his eyes. I hate that look. But I didn't hate the way he traced my hairline with his fingertips.

…

"Are you sure that's him?" Dean asked as we staked out the Montgomery's home, using binoculars to watch them through the window.

"Only Jack Montgomery in town." I answered.

"And we're looking for..."

"Travis said to keep an eye out for anything weird." Sam shrugged.

"Weird?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, well, yeah, I've seen big weird, little weird, weird with crazy on top. But this guy? I mean, come on, this guy's boring."

"I don't know, Dean. Travis seemed pretty sure."

I ignored the two of them bickering back and forth and watched as his wife left the room. Jack wandered around the kitchen finishing off his beer. Then he went to open the fridge. I watched as he scanned its contents, his eyes fixated on something. He reached in, and looked around to make sure no one was watching. Then he tore into a package of raw meat and began to devour it rapidly.

"Whoa." I breathed.

"What?" Judson asked. I handed him the binoculars.

"I'd say that qualifies as weird guys." Judson nodded.

We left and went back to the motel room after Jack went to bed for the night, I entered behind the boys, and noticed as Dean paused, then I realized someone was in our room. It took me a second to recognize the man.

"Travis." Sam smiled.

"See, boys. Told you we should have hid the beer." I winked to Travis.

"Smartass. Get over here girl." He said standing and reaching out his arms to me. I ran up to him for a hug, him picking me up as we did.

"Good to see you Travis!" Dean said hugging him after I was released.

"You too." Travis nodded, then he shook hands and hugged Sam. "Who's the kid? John didn't pop out another one on his own as far as I know." Travis asked looking over to Judson.

"Judson Smith." He said reaching out to shake hands with Travis.

"And what are you doing running around with this lot, they'll get you in trouble." Travis winked to us.

"Life was boring, found these guys and didn't seem to have that problem anymore." Judson shrugged. I pushed his shoulder a little.

"Ah, I bet." Travis nodded.

"He's been running with us. Helping me keep an eye on Em." Dean added.

"You mean you're keeping him under close watch cause he's got his hands on her, hey?" Travis smiled to Dean.

"Yeah, a teenage girl. No monster in the world ever prepared me for this." Dean sighed. I punched him in the chest, causing Travis to laugh.

"Man. Emily is all grown up. How long has it been?"

"Ah, gotta be 10 years." Sam said shaking his head.

"You still a.. oh, what was it... a mathlete?"

"No." Sam scoffed.

"Been too long, boys. I mean, look at you. Grown men. Emily you are just beautiful. John would have been damn proud of you three. Sticking together like this."

"Yeah. Yeah, we're as thick as thieves." Dean said shooting a knowing look to Sam, who's smile quickly fell from his face. "Nothing more important than family."

"Well. Sorry I'm late for the dance." Travis said sitting back down. We all took a seat on the beds, Dean at the table with Travis. "Thanks for helping out an old man. I'm a little, uh, shorthanded. So, you track down Montgomery?"

"Yeah, we found him at his home." Sam nodded.

"And?"

"Well, he had a hell of a case of the munchies, topped off with a burger he forgot to cook." I replied.

"That's him alright."

"What's him?"

"Kids, we got a rougarou on our hands."

"A rougarou?" Judson asked.

"Is that made up?" Dean asked turning to Sam. "That sounds made up."

"They're mean, nasty little suckers. Rotted teeth, wormy skin, the works." Travis answered.

"Well, that ain't this guy. I mean, he was wearing a cellphone on his belt."

"He'll turn ugly soon enough. They start out human, for all intents and purposes."

"So, what? They go through some kind of metamorphosis?" I asked.

"Yep, like a maggot turning into a bull fly. But most of all they're hungry."

"Hungry for what?" Dean asked.

"At first, for everything, but then... for long pig."

"Long pig?" Dean asked.

"He means human flesh." Sam answered.

"And that is my word of the day." Dean smiled.

"Hunger grows in till they can't fight it. Till they got to take themselves a big, juicy chomp, and then it happens."

"What happens?" Sam asked.

"They transform completely and fast. One bite's all it takes. Eyes, teeth, skin; all turns. No going back either. They feed once, they're a monster forever. And our man Jack's headed there on a bullet train."

"Well, how'd you find this guy if he's a walking, talking human?" Judson asked.

"Let's just say it runs in his family."

"You mean, uh..."

"Killed his daddy back in '78. Son of a bitch mangled 8 bodies before I put him down. Guy used to be a dentist. Cadillac, trophy wife... Little did I know, pregnant trophy wife. She put the boy up for adoption. By the time I found out, he was long gone, lost in the system."

"You mean to tell me you couldn't find someone?" Sam asked raising his eyebrow. Travis sighed deeply.

"I'm not sure I wanted to. The idea of hunting down some poor kid... I don't think I'd have the heart. No. I wanted to wait, make damn sure I had the right man. Apparently, I do."

"How do we kill it?" Judson asked.

"Burn it alive."

"Ouch." I cringed. I leaned over on Judson, who threw his arm over my shoulders.

Travis and Dean stood and began gathering things to make mini torches for us to take with us on the hunt. Sam had stepped out and said he'd be back in a few minutes. That was about thirty minutes ago.

"Fire huh?" Dean asked as he assembled the end of the torch.

"Yup. Only way I found to kill the bastards was to deep fry them." Travis nodded.

"Well, that's gonna be... horrible. Is that what you did to Jack's dad?" Dean asked.

"Uh-huh".

Judson and I were leaned against the bed, cleaning weapons, when Sam walked in again.

"Not wasting any time, are you?" Sam asked.

"None to waste. The guy hulks out, we won't be finding bodies, just remains." Travis shrugged, Sam took a seat next to him.

"What if he doesn't hulk out? I did a little homework. Uh, I've been checking out the lore on rougarous."

"What? My 30 years of experience not good enough for you?"

"What? No. No, I-I- I just wanted to be prepared. I mean, not that you didn't.."

"Sam loves research. He does. He keeps it under his mattress right next to his KY. It's a sickness." I said over to the boys at the table. Sam shot me a bitchface.

"It is." Dean nodded in agreeance.

"Look, everything you said checked out, of course, but uh. I found a couple of interesting stories about people who have this rougarou gene or whatever. See, they start to turn, but they never take the final step."

"Really?" Dean asked.

"See, if they never eat human flesh, they don't fully transform."

"So what? Go vegan, stay human?" I asked.

"Basically. Or in this case, eat a lot of raw meat, just not..."

"Long pig." Dean finished for him with a smile.

"Right."

"Good on you for the due diligence, Sam." Travis said standing. "But those are fairy tales. Fact is, every rougarou I ever saw or heard of... took that bite."

"Okay, well, that doesn't mean that Jack will."

"So what do we do? Sit and hope and wait for a body count?"

"No, we talk to him. Explain what's happening. That way he can fight it." Sam suggested.

"Fight it?" Travis laughed. I could already tell this wasn't going to end well. "Are you kidding me? You ever been really hungry? I mean, haven't-eaten-in-days hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah. Right then. So somebody slaps a big, juicy sirloin in front of you, you walking away?"

"No." I answered, knowing the boys wouldn't.

"That's what we are to him now, meat on legs. I'm sorry. I'm sure he's a stand-up guy, but it's pure, basic instinct. Everything in nature's gotta eat. You think he can stop himself 'cause he's nice?"

"I don't know. But we're not gonna kill him unless he does something to get killed for." Sam said firmly. Dean looks over to Sam. Who takes a few deep breaths, then leaves the room.

"What's up with your brother?" Travis asked looking between Dean and I.

"Don't get me started." I sighed. "Are we going back tonight?"

"No."

"I'm gonna go grab a room next door." Judson said standing.

"No need, you can crash on the couch." Dean replied before Judson could stand to get out the door.

"Okay." Judson shrugged. Sinking back down on the bed, leaning against the headboard next to me. I looked over and saw an amused smile tugging at Travis's lips. I knew he was fixing to comment.

"Got em on the short leash, huh boy?" He says mostly to Dean.

…..

"So how'd it go?" I asked as the boys came back through the door the next day. Judson and I stayed back and let them approach Jack. We figured the less crowded the better on that one.

"Not so good." Dean sighed.

"Travis will be happy to hear that." I said with indifference.

"Yeah I bet he will." Sam said rolling his eyes and walking past me. He went in the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"Let me guess." I said turning to Dean. "You two had a fight."

"Something like that." Dean sighed.

"De. Can I ask you something."

"Anything Em. You know that." He said sitting on the bed across from me.

"I'm being hard on Sammy because of what happened when he left me… for Ruby. But… why are you? I mean. I did things much worse than that while you were gone. MUCH worse. If it wasn't for the lying part, and the ditching me part, and the Ruby part. I don't think I'd be mad."

"I don't know kiddo." He said as he laid back across the bed. "I guess it's all of it. I thought he was gonna take care of you, and then we find him with Ruby? And he's using those powers when I asked him not to, and he lied about it all."

"And the Cas thing." I added.

"Yeah… I think that kinda pushed it over the edge."

"Maybe we're being too hard on him… not that I'm saying I'm gonna let up. But. Maybe we should remember he's still Sammy."

"Yeah. Maybe." He said getting up off the bed and cracking a beer. "Where's Judson?"

"He wanted to go for a run. He's been doing that more often. I think Sam is rubbing off on him."

"Great." Dean chuckled.

"Stamina booster." I winked to him before having to bite my cheek not to laugh. He choked slightly on his beer. "Just kidding De."

"So… what are you two now anyways? Dating? Not dating?"

"I don't know… I don't want to be with anyone else. But we've not put a label on it."

"Is it serious?" Dean asked with an undertone I knew all too well.

"No we haven't had sex Dean." I said rolling my eyes.

"That's not what I was asking." He claimed innocently. But I could see the relief across his face. "I'm just curious how serious you are about this whole thing."

I pulled my pillow into my lap and twisted it at the corners.

"I told him I loved him." I whispered.

"What?"

"I said." Raising my voice just a hair. "I told him I loved him."

"… and?!"

"And he said it back."

"When did this happen?!"

"The other night."

"When you crashed with him?"

"Yes."

"… And you didn't have sex?"

"NO! Dean! Not every guy in the world is like you!" I said getting up and throwing the pillow at his face.

At that moment Sam stepped back out of the bathroom.

"Did I miss something?" He asked looking between Dean and I.

"Emily's in love." Dean mocked.

"Dean! Shut up!"

"What?" Sam asked with a smile pulling at his lips. Thankful to have an actual conversation with us that didn't revolve around him.

"Dean's being mean!"

"That's not what I heard… I heard Emily was in love?" Sam teased.

"Sammy!"

"Did he say it first?" He asked.

"… no."

"What?!" He asked with his eyes wide. "You said it first? That's bold Em."

"Oh shut up! The both of you!" I said feeling slightly embarrassed as I crossed my arms over my chest. My cheeks burning red.

"Aw, c'mere Em." Sam said as he reached out for me. I let him pull me in and he hugged me. It didn't take long for either of us to realize how much we needed this hug. He held on a little tighter than usual. Lingered there a little longer.

"You guys are assholes." I mumbled against his chest. I could feel his laughter. I Imagine Dean was accompanying him.

"We love you kiddo."

"I love you too, Sammy."

….

"What's he doing now?" I asked for the fifth time in the last hour. We were tailing Jack and have followed him to sit on a bench in the middle of town. Of course we only brought one pair of binoculars.

"He's sitting there. Like he was five damn minutes ago." Dean sighed.

"Well sorry… its boring back here." I replied with a bit of attitude.

"We should have left her." Judson groaned from beside me. I swiftly elbowed him in the ribs.

"Damn it. Jack. No." Sam said sadly.

"What?! What'shappening." I asked sitting up.

"Come on." Dean answered getting out of the car with Sam, homemade flame throwers in hand.

"Oh shit. Its getting serious." I said jumping out behind them.

We followed Jack into an apartment building where he was diligently spying on a woman who was undressing in her room. Something on his face was different. Animalistic. I was worried Travis was right, this just can't be fought. Jack entered a part of the building we could no longer follow without being seen.

"Shit." Judson whispered beside me.

"Let's split up. Judson and I will take the back of the building. You two go to the apartment."

"Stay together, don't split up." Dean told us.

"C'mon." Judson said as he pulled me back around to the back of the building.

"Do you think he's gonna turn?" I asked him honestly.

"I don't know Em. Doesn't look good right now."

"Yeah… makes me kinda sad. Sam really has his hopes set on this."

"Well. We can keep our fingers crossed. That's about it." He shrugged leaning against the brick wall. His leather jacket hugging him in all the right ways.

"… Why do you do this to me?"

"What?" He asked confused.

"Look that fucking good when we're supposed to be working." I said moving to stand between his legs. My hands pulling at his belt. My lips moving towards his. He pushed his pelvis forward so that it rubbed against mine as he teeth grazed my lip.

"Mmm…. One damn day soon, Em." He mumbled in my ear.

"Soon isn't soon enough." I breathed back.

"Tell me about it." He said as he spun us around and pushed me against the brick. It was rough, and I loved it. I loved his hands under my shirt. I loved the way his body reacted to my touch. I loved the taste of him on my lips.

Suddenly a door busted open beside us and Jack took off running. We both jumped, but stayed in place as he ran.

"Fuck." I sighed, pulling out my phone to call the boys. I texted instead and told them to meet us back at the impala.

"Well… we should probably keep this to ourselves." Judson nodded.

"Yup." I nodded briefly as we jogged back to the car. Once there I turned to see the boys running form the building frantically.

"What the hell did you two do?!" I asked as I heard police sirens growing closer.

"Uh, we may have jumped the gun a little! Go!" Sam said as he and Dean jumped into the car and we skidded down the street.

"Well. I always love a good run form the cops." I said sitting back and rolling my eyes.

"Where to now?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. Did you guys see which way he went?" Dean asked.

"Nope."

"And how exactly did he get past you two?" He said looking back at me in the rearview mirror.

"Uh. He just. Ran. Really fast." I rambled, not meeting Dean's gaze in the mirror. Judson scooted away from me by the slightest amount, but still enough for Dean to notice.

"Right." Dean said sarcastically.

"Soooo…" I said changing subjects. "Where to now?"

"Jack's place I guess." Sam shrugged.

"Sounds like a plan." I smiled.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence… when we pulled up I instantly recognized the car out front.

"Well. I guess we know where Travis is." I sighed.

"That stupid son of a bitch." Sam said tearing open the car door. We all quickly followed up the porch steps. Dean slowly opened up the door, we followed carefully. There is a chair and torn rope in the floor.

"Uh oh." I whispered. Judson moved closer to me. Practically touching me with every step we took. We continued into the room until a large pool of blood caught our attention.

"De." I mumbled. He looked at me concerned, then moved forward. I reached back and my fingers intertwined with Judson's. We followed the trail of blood all the way behind the couch… to a mangled body.

"Oh God." I shuddered, turning into Judson to look away.

"Think that's Travis?" Dean asked.

"What's left of him." Sam sighed. "Guess you were right about Jack."

"De we can't leave him here." I said turning away from Judson to face Dean. But when I did I saw Jack moving behind him.

"DEAN!" I yelled but it was too late. He knocked Dean out cold with a swift blow to the back of the head, Judson pulled me back and Sam moved up with his flame thrower, only to have it knocked out of his hand, and quickly he too was on the floor.

"RUN!" Judson yelled as he pushed me to the stairs. I ran them two at a time as if my life depended on it. Once at the top I turned to check on Judson, but he was out of sight? I guess he stayed downstairs. So I quickly shut myself in the closest room. Locking the door behind me.

I stood there for a minute. No footsteps approached. I couldn't hear anyone fighting. I couldn't hear anything. And the fear in me began to build. I slowly twisted the knob and ventured back down the stairs, one foot at a time. I found Dean and Judson both unconcious. I ran to Dean seeing the blood on the back of his neck.

"De! Wake up!" I whispered frantically shaking his shoulder. But someone came up behind me and grabbed me by my hair, picking me up off the floor and throwing me into the closet. I was thrown into Sam, waking him up as the door slammed us in.

"Sammy! Are you okay?!"

"Yeah… I.. I think so." He said groggily.

"He's got Dean and Judson!" I said trying to force the door open again.

"Dean?" Sam called out up against the door.

"Dean can't come to the phone right now." Jack responded.

I slammed my fist against the door. "Don't hurt them!" I yelled in frustration.

"Calm down!" He yelled back. "Your brother's alive. The boy too."

"Alright, Jack. Listen. Open the door. We can figure this out, okay?" Sam said calmly trying to talk him down. He laughed.

"We'll have ourselves a little brainstorming session."

"Jack please! They're hurt… let us out." I begged.

"I don't think so. After what you did?"

I looked at Sam in confusion, he shrugged.

"What? What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"You send your friend here. He tried to burn my wife alive."

"What? Why?" Sam asked as we shared a shocked look. I started digging in my pockets for a pick.

"He didn't say!" No pick… but I did pull a metal hanger off the rack and begin untwisting it as Sam talked. "I guess psychopaths don't have to explain themselves."

"Listen to me. You gotta believe me." Sam pleaded. "My siblings and I, we never would have hurt her, okay?"

"Oh, God. I'm so hungry." Jack said, barely audible through the door. I froze. Fear trickling down my body… I looked up to Sam who encouraged me to keep twisting the hanger and she tried to pick the lock with the other end.

"Jack, don't do this." Sam said, desperation filling his voice.

"I can't ever see my family again. You people... your friend. You made me into this!"

"No one's making you kill us!" I yelled back. Sam moved and put his hand over my mouth.

"Listen to me." Sam said calmly. "You got this dark pit inside you. I know. Believe me, I know. But that doesn't mean you have to fall into it. You don't have to be a monster."

"Have you seen me lately?" Jack laughed.

"It doesn't matter what you are. It only matters what you do. It's your choice."

I stopped and looked up at Sam, the conviction on his face. It hit me that he was saying this to himself as much as he was to Jack… To me.

There was shuffling outside the door, and Jack stopped responding. Sam began to frantically pick at the door until it finally busted open. Jack Was inches from taking a bite out of Dean.

"Jack!" Sam yelled.

Jack stood, facing us, Sam shoved me behind him. I gripped to his shirt and watched as the emotions played across Jack's face before he lunged for us and Sam lit the torch. Burning Jack alive right in front of us…

As he hit the floor I ran for Dean, who was beginning to wake up on his own.

"De! De… are you okay?"

"I'm good… I'm good." He groaned pushing himself off the floor. I helped him stand and Sam came to his side, so that I could move towards Judson.

"Babe." I whispered lifting his head into my lap. "Jud wake up…"

"Mmmmmm…" He groaned. I could see the knot on the side of his face and the cut above his eye. It was gonna be a good shiner for sure.

"Baby are you okay?"

He nodded and slowly began to sit up. I stood, grabbing his hands and letting him pull himself up with my resistance. Once he was standing on two feet I wrapped my arms around him.

"You scared me." I whispered against his skin.

"I'm fine sweetheart."

"Let's get the hell out of here."

….

"You did the right thing, you know. That guy was a monster, there was no going back." Dean said as we drove down the black top. The blackness of a cloudy night surrounding us. I wrapped myself in Judson's arms, listening to his soft snores in my ear.

I waited for Sam to reply, but he didn't.

"Sam, I wanna tell you I'm sorry. I've been kind of hard on you lately." Dean admitted. I listened carefully.

"Don't worry about it, Dean."

"It's just that your, uh, your psychic thing, it scares the crap out of me. Em's too." It was then I realized they didn't know I was awake. So I closed my eyes and continued to listen. "I just worry about you two. I don't want this thing getting ahold of you. Getting ahold of her. She looks up to you Sammy."

"Look, if it's all the same... I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Wait a minute. What? You don't want to talk? You?"

"There's nothing more to say. I can't keep explaining myself to you. I can't make you understand."

"Why don't you try?"

"I can't. Because this thing, this blood, it's not in you the way it's in me. It's just something I got to deal with."

"Not alone." Dean told him. "You got me… and most of all you got her. I mean who could understand this better than her? Hell. She's got the blood of the devil in her… I just. I don't even know what to do with it."

"It doesn't matter." Sam sighed. "These powers... it's playing with fire. I'm done with them. And I think we should push Emily to stop using them too."

"I'm okay with that." Dean agreed.

"I'm done with everything." Sam whispered.

"Really?"

"Well, that's a relief. Thank you."

"Don't thank me." Sam scoffed. "I'm not doing it for you. Or for the angels or for anybody. This is my choice."

"Well hopefully she makes the same choice."

I sat quietly, not another word was said on the matter. I let my mind travel… wondering if I could stop them. Wondering if I truly wanted to stop them.

Do they scare me?

Hell yeah they do.

But are they a part of me I want to know more about?

Hell yeah I do.

… I mean Lucifer was an angel? So… isn't it angel's blood as much as it's the blood of the devil? Can't there be some good to it? I've already seen the bad take over, so I can't deny its presence. Even if I wanted to.

I snuggled further into Judson, he subconsciously held me a little tighter. I drifted to sleep, waiting for our next pit stop.

…

"Hey." Dean's voice called. Waking us. "Bathroom break. Go now, we won't stop again for a while."

Judson nodded and climbed out of the car. I stretched in the backseat before climbing out and standing next to Dean while he pumped the gas. Letting my muscles wake up some more before I attempted to really walk. I inched closer to Dean until my head leaned against his arm. He bent down and kissed the top of my head briefly.

"I'm still mad at him De."

"I know… its okay to be mad Em."

"So what do we do now?"

"Well…" Dean sighed. "I was kinda thinking maybe we could take a break?"

I pulled back and looked at him with surprise in my eyes.

"What?"

"Yeah… you know. We always kinda talked about it but we are only about 10 hours out."

"From where?"

"The beach." Dean smiled widely.


	70. Chapter 70

Author's Note: DON'T HATE ME PLEASE! I'm sorry I've been MIA yall… life got busy, and I got writers block, and I was super excited with my idea for this chapter, but then when I would sit down to write it all I just had a hard time getting things to flow? I tried to make this fun and lighthearted, but I think I'm only decent at the depressing and dramatic shit… which kinda depresses me BUT ANYWAYS. The next chapter will put us back on track with season 4, and I really do have some tricks up my sleeve coming up later. For now, here is the chapter that took me FOREVER to write. I'm sorry for that again. I hope I won't get stuck like this again anytime soon, and thank you all for waiting patiently/impatiently. And I'm sorry if its kinda sloppy/doesn't flow well. I really did struggle with all this 'normal' stuff. I'm ready for some Winchester drama again! Love you all! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! Let me know you haven't jumped ship! Thanks for all the love and support!

"Are we there yet?!" I practically bounced from the backseat. Ever since Dean had leaked his plan at the gas station I'd been a ball of excitement. Overly cheery, persistently smiling, and probably a bit obnoxious. But after so many terrible things in our life… I didn't mind being a little obnoxious.

"No…" Sam groaned again.

"Did you get our hotel right on the beach?" I asked tapping his shoulder.

"Yes Em. I did… you can walk out the door and onto the sand, okay? I promise."

"Eeeeeek!" I squealed. Judson who was still trying to sleep next to me cringed as it pierced his ears.

"Shut up." He mumbled.

"Baaaaabe. We're going to the beach!" I squealed again crawling into his lap, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. He grumpily pushed me out of his lap.

If it weren't for my impeccable mood I would've punched him. BUT I'M TOO DAMN EXCITED TO CARE!

"Almost kiddo, another hour." Dean smiled back at me. He seemed to be the only half as excited as I was to be going to the beach. We had gone on and on about how we were going to catch crabs at night, and go snorkeling for seashells. I can't wait to lay on the beach and soak up the sun, sand it my toes, maybe an ice cold drink in my hand. And if I'm lucky… a little alone time with Judson.

…

"Honey I'm home." Dean mumbled as he pushed open the door with his foot and led us into our suite for the next few days. Yep. That's right. A SUITE! How fuckin fancy is that?! I nearly pushed him over trying to get in and soak in the light colored walls and bright blue décor. It was airy and natural and beautiful. My eyes followed around the room from the kitchen area, to the living room, to the balcony.

"Oh. My. God." I said dropping the bags and walking towards it. I pulled the floor length curtains to the side and pushed open the glass sliding door.

The warm ocean breeze blew against my face immediately. I closed my eyes and breathed it in. Never in my life had I felt something so magical. So warm and cleansing. My eyes watered, and it wasn't because of the sea salt in the air, but because it was everything I've wanted for so long.

"We made it De." I said recognizing the footsteps behind me before I even opened my eyes.

"Yeah we did kiddo." He said as he wrapped his arms around my neck and hugged me. Kissing my temple briefly.

"So what's first on the list?" Sam said walking out next to us.

"Clothes! Swimsuits! We gotta go get some vacation wear. You guys and your three layers of plaid aren't fitting in."

"Okay, where to?" Sam chuckled.

"I don't know. I've never been here. Let's just cruise till we find a place." I shrugged.

"Well what are we waiting for then?"

"Let me finish unpacking the car and we'll go." Dean said releasing me. He and Sam disappeared, but I stayed leaned over the railing. Take in the shore line, the pier a ways down, the beach chairs empty and waiting for us. It was heaven on earth.

"Hey." A warm voice cooed as his hands grazed my waist. "Whatcha looking at?"

"I don't even know how to describe it."

"It's nice Em. I'm glad we came." He said as he kissed my cheek. I turned in his arms to face him, and kissed him deeply. His hand slowly slid down and back around, cupping my ass. I responded by dipping a finger in the front of his waist band and pulling it down just slightly. Enough to follow the happy trail until it disappeared into his boxers.

"Not here." He whispered to me, squeezing particularly rough before releasing me.

"Ughhh… you're such a tease."

….

I hung my head out the window as we cruised down the strip. The sun was bright in the open blue sky and I couldn't stop smiling. We pulled into some t-shirt shop and I literally bounced out of the car.

"De I need a card!"

"Why… we're all buying things."

"I need my OWN card! I've got some shopping to do." I said as I grinned ear to ear. Dean rolled his eyes but surrendered a card.

"C'mon. You're mine." I winked as I took Judson by the hand and dragged him into the store with me and a skip.

There were so many bright colors, shirts all over the walls, boogie boards, beach chairs, sunglasses, bathing suits, your one stop shop for everything basically. It was AWESOME!

"Where are you going babe?" Judson giggled form behind me.

"Swim suits first! I need your help picking one out!"

"You don't need my help with that."

"Yes I do! You have to help me find which one looks best."

"You look good in anything." He said as he pulled me backwards and tucked us into a corner behind a rack of bikinis. He kissed me. His lips full of heat, playful, and daring knowing anyone could turn the corner at any moment.

I never wanted this to stop. But as two small kids ran past us we jumped apart, giggling like idiots.

"So… what color should I wear?"

"Hm..." Judson hummed. "I've always loved the way you look in blue. Bright royal blue."

"Well. That's specific." I smiled.

"Here…" He said digging through a rack. "Try this one. Its unique. Like you."

I took the swimsuit from his hand. It was royal blue with fringe all over the breast area of the halter top. The bottoms were had a boy short cut. They had little cuts of fringe down the hip. Black beads tied onto the bottom of the fringe sporadically. It was cute- what can I say, the man has good taste.

"Well I'll be right back." I winked as I walked into the dressing rooms. I put on the suit and turned in the mirror. It actually fit well and hugged in the right places, without being too exposing which I know Sam and Dean will appreciate. But the one thing I couldn't stop staring at were the scars. All of them… the large one yellow eyes left along my stomach, the ones on my ribcage. I tried to look away from them but without a shirt on its just where the eye wanders.

"Em. Come out." Judson coaxed.

"I don't know…"

"Babe." He sighed. I caved and began unlocking the door.

"Okay, what do you think?" I asked walking out to Judson. He raised his eyebrows and smiled before nodding slightly. I giggled, but still felt slightly self conscious. Judson must have noticed, because he approached me and tipped my chin.

"You're beautiful."

"I'm marked." I whispered.

"With strength… and courage. Em those scars are a part of you. Don't hide, not from me. Okay?"

I nodded slightly and he kissed me. Short and sweet. The sound of boots coming around the corner pulled us apart and I held myself nervously as Dean's eyes fell on me.

"Oh. Hell no." He said shaking his head.

"De! Its not even that bad!"

"No." He said firmly. Then he grabbed a grandma suit off the rack next to him. "Here. One piece. Classy."

"Then you wear it grandma!"

"Dean, its definitely not the worst one in here…" Sam mumbled as he held up what could barely be considered a swim suit, more like lingerie. Dean looked between me and the skimpy suit.

"I don't like it."

"Well I do." I shot back crossing my arms.

"Do you have to have one? Can't you just swim in a tshirt?"

"Sam! Tell him he's being ridiculous. This is appropriate AND cute. It's a compromise! And I like it…" I said shooting him the puppy dog eyes. He always caves with the puppy dog eyes. A few moments of that and then he turned his own puppy dog eyes on Dean, I followed suit and Dean looked between the two of us disgusted before stomping away. Sam winked before following after him.

"Well. I'm assuming that's settled?" Judson asked confused.

"Yup! I can have it. Puppy eyes work on my brothers EVERY time."

"Good to know. What's next on the list?"

"I need comfy cute clothes to be a beach bunny in." I said going back in the dressing room to get changed.

"What about sunglasses?"

"Oh! Those too!" I said pulling my shirt back over my head. Then I got an idea.

"Hey you." I said softly. "Come help me."

"What?!"

"Come help me." I said peeking through the door.

Judson didn't reply… But the door slowly pushed open, and in he stepped, then he closed it behind him. His hands reached for me and pulled at the sides of my underwear along my hips, running his fingers along them. I pulled off the shirt I had just pulled on. Leaving me in only my bra. He dipped his faced and buried it between my breasts. I gripped his hair and pulled softly as he nipped and sucked at all the right places.

"Judson." I breathed softly.

"Shhh.." he whispered as he slid his face up to the side of mine. "They'll hear you."

Then he did what I least expected and began to trail his hot mouth down my body. It stirred me in ways I forgot I could… The heat building inside of me. His tongue danced from my belly button to my underwear, then he inched them down, kissing as he moved across the sensitive skin.

"Mmm…" I moaned. Begging him not to stop. But he did, sliding back up to kiss me.

"You're too loud." He teased. Then he turned to leave. Leaving me breathless and horny against the wall. Trying to piece together everything that just happened.

…..

"Okay, did we get it all?" Sam asked as I met him back at the register.

"I think so." I smiled as I set my pile on the counter. It was twice the size of the boys. But I loved the bright bold colors and I just couldn't resist.

"Geez Em." Sam laughed.

"What can I say? I'm excited."

"Where's Judson?"

"Said he'd meet us out front. I threw in his clothes with mine."

"Oh well I guess he and Dean are too impatient to wait in line."

"That and there's no hot girls in here for Dean to stare at."

"True." Sam smiled. "Hey uh, Em… I really am sorry."

"I don't wanna talk about it Sammy."

"I know. I just. I want you to know that I love you, and that I'm sorry for everything."

"I know." I said as I smiled briefly to the cashier, handing her my sunglasses. We stood in silence as she packed all my things into the bag. Then Sams. I payed with a smile and quickly made my way out the door, Judson and Dean leaned against the impala waiting.

"Geez Em. Did you get enough?" Dean said as he moved to pop the trunk.

"Maybe, if not we can always come back."

"Yeah. Right." Judson laughed.

"Okay, what else do we need?"

"Food?" Dean asked.

"After the beach! Please Dean!"

"Fine, fine… we'll hit a drive thru on the way back." He caved.

"Em you should eat something too." Judson said as we climbed into the backseat.

"I'm not hungry! I just wanna get out there." I whined.

"But if you don't eat you'll be starving later.

"Fiiiiiine. Get me a kids meal or something. I don't care."

"You are something else." He said shaking his head and putting his arm up behind my shoulders.

"So are you." I replied with a small naughty smile.

….

"Are you ready yet?!" I bounced, banging on the bathroom door for Dean to hurry. Sam was standing next to me in a swim trunks and a tshirt, holding all the things I had piled into his arms. Boogie boards, towels, a beach bag. He was impatiently waiting, but not saying a word.

"Almost!" Dean yelled back.

"Hurry up." I groaned.

Suddenly the door flew open and Dean walked out in black swim trunks and grey tshirt. It was odd to see him in swim trunks, I don't think he even owned a pair of shorts in his life.

"Are you happy now? I feel naked." He complained.

"Dean. They're shorts. Your white ass legs won't catch fire, I promise."

"I still feel naked." He mumbled.

"Better put on some sun screen." I winked as I went to answer the knock at the door. When I opened it a shirtless, muscular, naturally tan green eyed man smiled back at me. His light grey swim trunks with black pinstripes emphasized his tan. Mmm…

"Hi." I breathed.

"Oh come on! Why is he naked?" Dean groaned as Sam forced him to put sunscreen on his face.

"Uh. I'm not." Judson said leaning around me to an irritated Dean.

"Can we just go now!"

"You need a hand there?" He asked Sam stepping past me. Sam happily offered him some of the items he was carrying.

"Thanks man."

"Okay lets go!" I said rushing out the door and over to the elevators, bouncing in front of them waiting for the doors to open, once they did I pranced on and quickly hit the button, hardly giving the boys the chance to get on. The ride down was short and sweet, and once he hit the lobby I was out the back door in three short strides, past the pool deck and down the wooden steps into the sand. As soon as I hit it I reached down and took off my shoes, turning and tossing them to Dean who caught them deftly. He smiled and turned, walking to the edge of the water slowly, letting my feet drag through the warm sand. I reached the bottom where the sand became cooler and more pact as the waves brushed over it. The sand moved underneath my feet with each wave. I closed my eyes and lifted my arms, feeling the breeze blow my long hair behind me.

Until something splashed me, I gasped and looked to my left where Sam was laughing and Dean was running backwards into the water.

"You ass!" I giggled as I chased after him. The water was cool and salty, refreshing to my skin. Dean laughed as he ran from me, but I stayed close on his tail, until someone from behind swept me up and threw me into the water.

"Sammy!" I squealed. He and Dean high-fived and I continued to chase the two of them, then them chasing me.

When we'd had our fill I ran back to the shore and collapsed onto my towel, breathing heavily. I looked up for Judson, and found him at the bar in the hotel pool deck. Go figure.

While the boys continued to splash around I made my way up to the bar. Judson sat on the stool, his back turned to me. I slowly snuck up behind him, and just before I reached him he laughed.

"I can hear you." He said turning to face me.

"Why are you not down here with me?" I asked pulling him off the stool.

"Because I was enjoying a stiff drink, good bartender."

"Well come enjoy it down here in the sand." I said still pulling him towards me.

"You are such a goofball." He said rolling his eyes.

"Yeah yeah." I said as I reached our beach chairs and plopped down onto one, Judson on the seat next to me. I watched as Sam walked out of the water and made his way over to us.

"Hey."

"Hey asshole." I said towel popping him before he sat down, he narrowly dodged me with a smile.

"How's the bar?" He asked Judson.

"Very good."

"Where's De?" I asked noticing he wasn't in the water.

"I'll give you one guess." Sam said using his eyes to point past Judson and I. I turned my head and found a shirtless Dean, chest puffed out, standing amongst a group of 3 or 4 girls. All Big boobs, fake tans, and the little bikinis he would murder me for wearing.

"He is something else." I said shaking my head.

"He's Dean."

"True."

"So what's the plan for tonight?" Judson asked.

"Hmm… dinner at some ridiculously popular tourist restaurant that everyone buys a tshirt at." I shrugged.

"Sounds good." Sam laughed. "I could go for some fresh seafood."

"Sam. You would go for anything that didn't come out of a minimart or a diner."

We all laughed and watched as Dean struck gold, the girls using a marker to write down their numbers on his hand. He reached out and put his arms around two of them at a time… What. A. Dog.

"You wanna go play?" I asked Judson.

"And do what love?"

"Just be in the ocean with me." I smiled.

"Okay." He caved and stood, reaching out his hand. I took it and let him pull me up. Then as he turned towards the water I jumped on his back. Letting him drag us into the ocean, to swim, and look for shells, you know… typical non hunter regular people fun things.

Normal.

Normal people things.

…..

"Crab legs?" I asked with my eyebrows raised. "Is there even meat inside of those things?"

"Yes." Sam laughed. "There's meat in the legs and claw."

"So… Those aren't made of bones?"

"No. Here, I'll order them and you can try some of mine."

I winked at Sam before turning to face Judson. "What are you getting?" I asked him.

"Surf and turf. Best of both worlds."

"Yummm… I think I might join you. Steak and shrimp."

"Its nice out here, huh?" He said as he looked up and out to the ocean. Over half the restaurants have outside seating that overlooks some sort of ocean, and its pretty much amazing in the evening. Just warm enough not to get a chill, but the breeze keeps you cool. The sun starting to set on the horizon.

"Its more than nice… beautiful!" I said as I leaned in and kissed him.

Dean made a large gagging noise, I broke away and shot him bitchface. Throwing my straw wrapper at his face, he narrowly dodged it.

"Fine beach playboy. What are you getting for dinner?"

"Duh. Sea Steak Burger!"

"… Dean. We're at the beach and you still get a damn burger?"

"Hey. Its an all sirloin patty topped with grilled shrimp! Its beach-y!"

"Whatever!" I laughed. "So how long are we staying for?"

"I don't know… a few days at least. Enough time to reset. Sleep. Relax. Maybe catch a few beach bunnies." Dean winked.

"You're gross."

"Says the spit swap queen."

"Grow up!"

"Are we ready to order?" The waitress asked as she came around. She took our order and then gave into Dean's cheesy pick up line which cost her another five minutes at our table as they bantered back and forth.

"Hey." Judson nudged me. "I have a question."

"What?"

"Will you go on a date with me?"

His words caught me by surprise.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, Em. I am… come out with me. Just the two of us. No research, no stake outs, no work. Just you and me, and night out on the town."

I smiled so wide I thought my cheeks my split in half.

"Okay. Yes. Judson Smith. I'll go out with you."

He leaned in and kissed me again, but then something small and cold hit my face. I looked up and this time it was Sam, preparing to throw another ice cube at my face.

"It's bad enough listening to our brother, don't make me watch that." He mumbled as he leaned in to speak to me. I chuckled but caved in and scooted away from Judson for the time being. Sam and I took turns playing table football with a folded up ad that was left on the table.

"Food!" Dean grinned causing us all to look up, the plates were large and full, the plates extravagant and colorful, but really all I cared about what that juicy medium rare steak this lady laid in front of me. Grilled shrimp laid against it on the side and my mouth watered at the thought.

"Is this fixing to be a Cheesecake Factory repeat?" Judson leaned over and asked me.

"Hell yes!"

"Wait- when did you go to the Cheesecake Factory?" Dean asked with a slightly disappointed look on his face.

"Oh. Well… Um. It was a while back. When I had run off to see Luke. Judson was just trying to cheer me up… sorry De." I shrugged guiltily.

"Well, how was it?"

"Um." I chuckled. "We ordered one slice of every flavor they had… it was a big overboard but it was soooo good Dean! I'll take you there sometime."

"Deal." He said as he lifted his burger to his mouth and took a bite, moaning disgustingly as he chewed.

"Dean. We all have to eat here." Sam said scalding him. I cut into my juicy steak and it was PERFECT. I took the first bite and could have gone into a food orgasm. Why haven't we been to the beach before?!

"Alright Em. Jump in." Sam said handing me a crab leg and something that resembled a nut cracker.

"Uh… what the hell do I do with it?"

"Crack it open… the meat is on the inside."

"Um… okay." I said grabbing the leg. It felt odd in my hand, but my curiosity pushed me on. I put the cracker thingy around it and broke the hard leg open. There was meat inside, but I couldn't get to it. Sam saw me struggling and handed me a tiny fork. I was able to easily pull the meat out and I put a large piece in my mouth hesitantly. Sam's eyes were on me and the corner of his lips turned up. He watched as I chewed and my facial expression stayed puzzled.

"I don't know if I like it." I finally admitted.

"Well if you don't like it here you won't like it anywhere else. You'll never find fresh crab but on the coast. So don't bother trying it anywhere else."

I picked up another piece and put it in my mouth. Chewing slowly.

"Is meat supposed to have a sweet taste to it?" I asked turning to face Dean.

"I don't know. I don't care. All I want to do is eat this burger forever." He answered as he slowly and disgustingly chewed his food.

"I'm going to remain undecided on the issue." I confessed as I handed everything back to Sam and returned to my steak. I moved to itch my nose, then smelt it.

"Ew!... is that my hands?" I said smelling them again and cringing.

"Yeah. Eating crab makes your hands stink." Judson shrugged.

"Ugh." I gagged. "I'm gonna go wash them."

"Won't help." Sam admitted. "Lemon juice will cut the smell but that's about it."

"Ughhhh… why didn't you just do it for me?!"

"Where's the fun in that?" He winked to me.

…

I rolled over on the bed and morning light touched my skin. I instantly remembered where I was and quickly climbed out of the bed and moved to sit outside on the balcony. The warm ocean breeze. The empty beach below the balcony. I sat in the chair and watched as the waves crashed softly against the shore line.

"Hey." Sam said coming outside to sit beside me. Handing me a half full cup of coffee to hold.

"Thanks." I smiled.

"Man its nice out here."

"Yeah. It is."

"I'm glad we came Em. I was kinda against it, but. It was a good idea. I think we all need this."

"Yeah. Me too… Hey Sam."

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure Em. Anything."

"What went through your head. When you left. When you saw that I called… over and over."

"Emily. There are things I could say to try and make excuses, but the truth is there isn't any. I was. I was messed up kiddo. I was lost, and I was confused, and I made bad choices. Over and over again. I just. I thought if I just kept what was behind me behind me then I couldn't do any more damage."

"… So you were going to leave me behind?"

"Em I didn't mean it like that…"

"But you were?" I asked looking him in the eye.

"Yeah. Maybe. I don't know."

"… How?"

"How what?"

"How can you just… cut us off. So easily. SO quickly. I mean. Not just once but twice now, you were just. Okay leaving me in the past? I mean. Do you want to be with Dean and I? Do you want to be a part of this family?"

"Of course I do, Em. I love you. So much… things just. Got complicated. Both times it had nothing to do with you."

"But both times I became collateral damage." I said getting up and going back inside. Slamming the glass door behind me.

I don't understand how I became so expendable to him? Why am I not important enough to him? What could be out there in life that is so much more important than his family… I went back to my room and quickly changed into my swimsuit, taking my towel and sunglasses and walking my way out onto the mostly empty beach.

I laid out my towel and stretched out under the sun, letting the warmth heat my back, I picked at grains of sand and broken shell pieces in silence until foot steps moved behind me.

"Really? We come all the way out to the beach and you two still fight?" Dean asked laying out next to me.

"… I'm sorry De."

"Don't be kiddo. What happened?"

"I asked him why."

"Oh."

"Yeah…"

"And I'm guessing the answer you got wasn't what you wanted."

"Why aren't we enough for him De?" I finally whispered after swallowing around the lump in my throat.

"I don't know Em. I think he's always been kind of a wanderer ya know? The grass is greener on the other side kinda guy. Until he gets there and realizes maybe its not."

"Or maybe he doesn't love us."

"Oh stop it." He sighed. "You know he does, Em. He just has a funny way of showing it."

"You can say that again."

"So. Whats going on with today?"

"Um. I don't really have plans… except for tonight."

"WHats going on tonight?"

I grinned widely.

"Judson asked me out on a date."

"Well then. What's the big plan?"

"I don't know. I didn't ask. I just said yes, I'm kinda nervous if I'm being honest."

"Why?" Dean snorted. "The guy cleaned your puke up."

I threw sand at him.

"Gee Dean. Thanks. I had almost forgotten about that."

"Well. It's true."

"Well. You're an ass. And I don't know why."

"Well don't be. The guys toughed it out this long. He'll still be around after tonight."

"… I really love him De."

"Love?"

"Yeah. Love. I mean. I can't think of another way to explain it… It physically hurts to think about losing him. I can't wait to be around him. I'm comfortable with him. I trust him… h's good to me De."

"Yeah. He is mostly… I gotta give ya that one."

"Are you ever going to be okay with me having a boyfriend?"

"Probably not." He admitted with a smirk. "Just as long as you know you're my little girl no matter what boyfriend you do or don't have, or how old you get. You still got me kiddo."

"I love you De."

"I love you too, Kiddo."

…

"Dean!" I yelled through the open bathroom door. "De! Please!"

"What?!" He groaned coming around the corner.

"Help me." I pouted.

"With what Em?"

"I can't curl the back piece."

"Whoa… no." He said walking away from me.

"Wait no! Dean come back!" I whined.

"Uh.. I can help. Jess made me do it a couple of times." Sam offered, coming up behind me.

"Okay." I agreed not making eye contact. I turned to face away from the mirror, so I didn't have to look at him while he took the iron and curled the back few strands of my hair.

"You look beautiful Em."

"Its just a sun dress."

"Well. Its beautiful on you. Really. Looks like you got some nice sun today."

"Yeah. It was nice."

"So… got any big plans for the evening?"

"Not really." I shrugged. "Just gonna go wherever he takes me."

"I know… you guys have been together for a while, and Dean and I aren't stupid but-"

"Are you seriously fixing to try and have the talk with me right now?"

"Emily please… just be smart. Okay?"

"I'm not stupid Sam. Neither is he."

"Don't let Dean find out… or he'll flip his lid."

"Yeah. Maybe because he actually cares."

"Em." Sam sighed. "Don't do this. Please. I want us to be good."

"I want you to want to be with us…"

"I'm here! Right now I'm standing here in the bathroom curling your hair! Do you think I would be here doing this if I didn't want to be?!"

"… Okay."

"Em." He said putting down the iron on the counter and spinning me to look at him. "I'm sorry sweetheart. I didn't mean to say it like that, I love you. So much. I do want to be with you guys. I just… get a little lost sometimes."

"… It hurts."

"I know it does Em. I'm sorry."

"Are we done?" I asked dipping my head downwards.

"Yeah. You're all good."

"Thanks."

"Hey." He said tipping my chin back up. "Have fun tonight. You deserve it."

He kissed my forehead and walked out. I finished touching up my make up and jumped slightly as there was a knock at the door.

"Bye!" I yelled briefly as I went to open it.

"BE BACK BY 1 AND DON'T HAVE SEX!" Dean yelled on my way to the door.

"Yeah yeah." I groaned as I pulled it open.

My breath was suddenly knocked out of my body at the sight of him. Forest green tshirt under his black button up, dark wash jeans, hair flipped to the side like I love and dammit those eyes! They get me every single fucking time!

"Hi." He smiled. His eyes moved up and down the black flowy sundress with white trim.

"Hi." I breathed as I stepped out and pulled the door closed behind me.

"You look beautiful." He said as he leaned in and kissed me.

"You look hot." I smirked.

"Alright lets go." He said as he playfully rolled his eyes.

"Where are we going?" I asked as he ushered us towards the elevators.

"You'll see."

"Ohh, mystery man tonight are we?"

"Its more fun that way."

"Yeah yeah." I said as I pressed the elevator button. Once we were down to the lobby he escorted me to the parking lot, where I stopped dead in my tracks.

"OH please… please say we get to take this." I said staring at the motorcycle parked right by the front door. He smiled and handed me a helmet from the back of the bike. I grinned uncontrollably as I put it on and clicked the chin strap, He did the same with his and straddled the bike, straightening it out so that I could climb onto the back easier in my dress. I threw one leg over, and settled with my body flush against his.

"You ready baby?"

"I think so." I breathed, excitement flooding my body. He revved the engine slightly and then it jumped to life and we took off. It was exhilarating, the way we cut through the sea breeze blowing in from the coast, the I just somehow knew to move when he did. My heart was thudding so hard I swear he can probably feel it against his back.

We cruised along the street, the orangey-pink glow across the sky lit up the boardwalk area ahead of us like fireworks and Christmas lights all in one. It was beautiful. Judson drove us down to the end of the pier area and parked, I'm assuming so we could walk for a while.

"So. First time on a bike?" He asked as he helped me off.

"Yes. It was amazing! Why have we not done that before?"

"Because your brothers would have killed me."

"Where the hell did you get it? Its not yours."

"Rental place on the strip, all you gotta do is show a license."

"Nice. So where are we going now?"

"Do you trust me?" He asked.

"I think by now you already know the answer to that."

"… Emily."

"Yes. I trust you."

He extended his hand to me and didn't say another word. I followed as he pulled me up and down the pier strip, stopping at shops, and stores that caught my eye. Letting me shop for silly souvenirs and trinkets. As we got closer to the end of the boardwalk the shops turned into restaurants, which is where Judson pulled me aside and onto the terrace of one particular small place.

The umbrellas over the tables were all red, and hung white lights from them. It overlooked the ocean and I could feel the breeze blow against my face occasionally. He sat us at a table with three small candles lit in the center.

"Jud, this is beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

I blushed, and pinned my hair behind my ear.

"Where's the menus?" I asked noting every table except ours had them.

"I already ordered for us."

"Wait, what?"

"It's ordered. Appetizer should be around with drinks at any moment."

"Wow, you really are mysterious tonight, aren't you?"

"You like it, don't even lie."

"Never said I didn't." I smiled.

Momentarily a large shrimp cocktail in a fancy martini glass hit the table, along with it were cheddar biscuits and two glasses of white whine, sweet and crisp.

"So what's my glass limit tonight? Cause this stuff is amazing."

"I think you should keep to just a few, don't want you finding any monsters."

"Oh. Ha. Ha. Very funny."

"Two. There's more where that came from if you still want some later."

"Well then I'll just sip for now."

"Probably a good idea, lightweight."

"Eh. Guilty as charged." I shrugged setting the glass down. "I think I owe you an apology."

"For what?" He asked confused.

"For everything. I mean… I've not made life easy for you. And yet you're still here, sticking it out. You really have no idea how much that means to me. I couldn't have survived these last six months without you. I really owe you my life."

"No Em, I should apologize. I mean. I let things get out of hand, and then I was really harsh when I tried to straighten them back out. I shoulda handled shit differently."

"I don't think I left you much choice Jud. I mean I was a handful and a half. Hell not even Dean himself would've been able to reign my crazy ass back in at that point."

"Well… we're here now. That's all that matters."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

We continued our dinner, a lovely pasta plate and of course cheesecake for dessert. Two spoons, even though Judson let me eat more than half of it. We laughed, we joked, we talked about the chances of seeing a shark on the beach. It was nice not to discuss demons, and cross roads deals, no research or thinking. Just… natural conversation. Just me and him.

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah, are we headed home?"

"Nope. I just… need to know if you are ready for the next stop."

"There's more?" I asked with my eyebrows raised.

"Of course there is."

"Wow we're really going all out tonight."

"Nah, just figured that me, you, and a moonlit walk on the beach might top off the night."

"I'd love that."

….

"So do you think we'll get to ever do this again?" I asked as we walked, dangling my flip flops in on hand and Judson's fingers entwined in the other as the waves rolled in and out over our feet in the wet sand.

"I don't know. I mean if we really wanted to there's no reason we couldn't."

"Yeah. Our lives are so hectic though. I mean realistically- who's to say we'll even be alive to do this again in a year or so."

"Hey. Don't talk like that." He said pulling me into his arms. "I'd never let anything happen to you."

"I know. But… I wouldn't want to come back here without you."

"Just cause I'm gonna save your ass doesn't mean I'm gonna die doing it babe."

"I just… I feel like this is one of those crazy once in a life time experiences ya know?"

"But it doesn't have to be. People take vacations here yearly. They go all the time. We could too if you wanted to. We could do whatever you want."

"I just want to hold you." I mumbled as I leaned into him and squeezed him to me. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said squeezing me back and kissing the top of my head.

We continued walking until we made it back to the pier, underneath it were strong wooden posts and boards holding it all together, stained from where the salt water had washed over it again and again. It was beautiful. Magical almost... I ran my hands down it and got an idea.

"Hey." I said catching Judson's attention. "You gotta knife?"

"You don't?" He asked me surprised.

"No weapons tonight. I wanted to just be a normal girl on a date." I admitted sheepishly. He chuckled and stepped up to me, handing me his pocket knife. I carved our names into the post, and then the date. Marking our territory. Making sure that this place would never forget us just like I'd never forget it. I don't know how to explain the way the ocean makes you feel.

At peace? Hopeful?

And then Judson's hands hit my waist and a completely different feeling takes over. I leaned up and kissed him, biting at his lip, letting his tongue glide against mine. His hands bunched my dress up at my hips and once he had a good reach on it he pulled up, and suddenly there was sea breeze against my bare back. I reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt. Pulling it off of his shoulders in one swift motion. Then his tshirt… then his belt.

He pulled me closer to the bank, where we could be hidden from any other late night beach goers, and those walking the pier above us. I unbuttoned his jeans and let him walk out of them as we moved. Once to a safe spot he flipped us and gently laid me on the ground, his body hovering over mine.

He leaned down and in one swift motion my bra was sliding off to the side. His mouth exploring my bare chest slowly, intimately.

The butterflies in my stomach stayed low until now, I had been here before, we'd taken it this far, but I'd never let us get any father. I'd always been too afraid. Afraid of losing him. Afraid he'd be done with me. Afraid I'd disappoint him… and now those fear strike me again once I realize this is it. There won't be any stopping myself tonight. I shuddered as a chill quickly flashed through me. Squirming under him.

"You okay?" He asked.

I nodded, but didn't answer, afraid my voice would betray me.

"Em… what's wrong."

"Nothing." I smiled weakly.

"Hey, talk to me babe. We don't have to do this."

"No no no, please… I don't wanna stop."

"Well what's wrong?"

"I. I've only ever done this a couple times before… and the first one was really bad. So if it's not good then please do me a favor and lie, because I really want to be good for you."

He laughed.

"Emily." He whispered in my ear as he nibbled against it.

"Yes?" I breathed.

"Relax… you're perfect."

"I.. I. Okay." I finally swallowed as the way his hands grazed my rib cage settled my nerves. It was like his touch calmed me, spread a sense of self confidence and peace. I began to melt under him, becoming lax and pliant, moving my body with his.

His mouth moved its way further and further down my body until it reached it's destination. I slightly lifted my hips as he slid my underwear over my hips and off my ankles. My body begged in ways I'd never felt before as his face moved farther away, then grew with excitement when it moved towards me again.

I never knew a sensation so foreign could feel so amazing. I grabbed onto his hair and put my arm over my mouth. Biting down when I got the urge to scream out. My legs started to shake uncontrollably and then this explosion of pleasure and surge of heat ran through me.

Then it all fell slowly, like a feather falling to the ground, ending softly, leaving me craving more.

"You okay up there?" He teased as he kissed my inner thighs.

"Yeah. I. I… I'm great." I breathed coming back down. I didn't even realize how or when it happened but his boxers were off, and fuck he was amazing. Toned, and tan, and even better then I imagined he would be fully naked. He moved to hover over me and my legs locked around his hips, he pushed slowly, and at that moment I leaned forward and bit into his shoulder blade. His moan in my ear was enough to almost make me hit my climax all over again. But I held back as he moved, deeper and deeper with each thrust.

His lips moved against mine, and the taste was erotic. I couldn't get enough of him. I was pulling, grinding, holding, squeezing. Any part of him I could get to I wanted to claim.

We continued like this for who knows how long, when something feels that good you don't count the minutes, but then he began to move faster, and faster, and I could tell we were both fixing to hit our limitations, he reached down with his hand and with only one touch my back arched up off of the sand and he made one particularly hard thrust before pausing, and moving extremely slow, biting his lip.

His body separated from mine, and we both laid in the sand. Panting.

"That… was…" I tried to speak between breaths.

"So fucking good." He finished for me. I merely nodded in agreeance. My body spent and resting as my endorphins circulated. I knew sex felt good… but I never knew it could feel THAT good.

"I don't know why the hell we waited that long to do this."

"Me neither." He sighed. Then he rolled over and pulled me against him.

"You're covered in sand." I said as his body moved against mine, gritty sand between our skin.

"I gotta pretty good idea on how to get rid of it." He smiled.

"Oh?"

Then he stood, and stark naked ran into the water. At first I was stunned, then worried someone would see, but then my excitement overcame me and I ran in after him. Jumping onto his back once I was close enough, and then knocking us both down into the water.

We played, and kissed, and swam, and laid on the shore with the waves rolling over us.

It was perfect.

He was perfect.

Everything was perfect.

…..

I kissed Judson goodnight and slowly slipped my keycard into the slot, hoping the boys would be asleep, but knowing they were probably both up still. I'm only a half hour past curfew, and they didn't call… so mayyybe.

I slipped into the room and slowly shut the door behind me. Then I leaned against, back flat against the cold door. Smiling. Uncontrollably smiling like an idiot.

That's when two head poked out from around the corner and began to stare at me. My face fell from a smile to a deer caught in the headlights.

"Well… You certainly look happy." Dean said crossing his arms and standing in front of me. Sam leaned against the wall and rolled his eyes. "What did you do tonight?"

"Dean. Do you _really_ want her to answer that question?" Sam warned him.

"Yes." He said without hesitation.

"We walked the pier, and the boardwalk, and had a nice romantic dinner, and then walked along the beach, and went for a late night swim." I said crossing my arms and stepping toe to toe with Dean.

"… Swimming."

"Yup." I said popping the P.

He suddenly turned to face Sam.

"SHE HAD SEX AND I'M BLAMING YOU!" He screamed.

"What?! How in the hell is this my fault!" Sam argued back.

"YOU were the last one to talk to her before you left! You didn't scare her enough!"

"Dean! She's almost 18! And she's done it before, so we KNEW she would do it again!

"Not necessarily!"

"YOU raised her Dean! She takes after YOU- so if this is anyone's fault its yours!"

"Okay… I'm done with this." I mumbled. Amidst their arguing I was able to sneak past them and into the bathroom for a shower. I let the water rid my body of the sand still hiding in all the wrong places, and washed the sea salt out of my hair before heading to bed, the boys must already be there because I don't hear them arguing again. When I walked out I noticed they weren't anywhere in the room. I walked out on the balcony, and spotted them down in the sand, both perched in a beach chair, sipping on a beer. I pulled on a small jacket and grabbed a rootbeer before heading out the door to join them.

"Hey. Move over." I said moving to sit between them. Sam moved one chair to the left, leaving Dean to my right. I tipped my drink with each of theirs, and we stared as the waves moved closer and then farther from us.

"I'd like to propose something." Dean suddenly spoke up. Sam and I turned to look at him in interest. "This washes the slate clean… for all of us. No more harboring hard feelings, no more holding grudges, no more blaming each other. What's behind us, is behind us, and we can't change it. So when we leave here and get back out on the road we get to start fresh."

Sam and I looked at each other for a moment, then I looked up at Dean, and as if reading my mind he nodded. Signaling that he really wanted this. He wanted us to all forget everything, which isn't a typical Dean move. I was kinda surprised by it all actually.

"Okay." I agreed.

"I'm down." Sam added. So then we sat back in the chair, toes in the sand, drink in my hand. And let it all wash away.


	71. Chapter 71

Author's Note: Hey guys! SO I've been working a lot of over time and it put me behind on my story, another week or so and I should be able to update more often! I love this episode, and was excited about getting to write this chapter! Thanks to Ladysunshine6 for her great ideas on this chapter and for always being so encouraging! Hope you all enjoy! Please READ and REVIEW! I love to hear what you guys think! Love you al!

"Dean! Please stop… it's not funny anymore!"

"Oh it is. Trust me." Sam chuckled.

"You're not helping Sam! You're making it worse, and I swear to you I will steal a car and we will take off and do this hunt on our own if you don't stop!"

"Aw, come on kiddo!"

"No. It's not funny Dean. It's embarrassing. Why can't you two just stop bringing it up… please." I whimpered with a tear in my eye.

"Em. It happens to people all the time. Sometimes you just can't help it."

My face burned and I had the urge to bury myself in the sand. Yesterday, while sitting in Judson's lap he tickled me and well… I peed.

On Judson.

I was obviously mortified, Judson laughed it off and never spoke of it again… but Sam and Dean have tortured me ever since.

"We have a fucking job to do and you two need to focus on that and stop talking about me!" I said storming out of the motel room door, slamming it behind me.

I leaned back against it and huffed.

"Babe?"

I had no idea Judson was sitting outside, but now that I turn to meet his curious and slightly amused eyes I'm realizing that he's probably heard the entire argument from outside the thin walls.

"Um… Hi." I smiled.

"Are you still worried about that? Really?" He asked with his arms crossed.

"It's so embarrassing!" I said hiding my face in my hands. "And they won't stop teasing me."

"Sweetheart come here." He sighed. I listened and climbed onto his lap, hiding my face in his neck, letting him whisper in my ear.

"I've put my hands, my mouth… my. Other things. All over your body. It's gonna take a little bit more than that to turn me off." He whispered seductively. Heat pooled between my legs and I moved to readjust. We left the beach almost two weeks ago and we've taken every chance we could to be alone… EVERY chance.

"Really?"

"Of course." He growled as his hands wound around my hips.

"Maybe we should go in the room… they shouldn't come looking for at least another ten minutes."

"Ten minutes huh, I think I can work with that." He smiled picking me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist and let him push me through the door.

…..

"Agent Tyler, Agent Perry... interns. Meet Frank O' Brien."

"He died of a heart attack, right?" Sam asked.

"Three days ago."

"But O'Brien was 44 years old and, according to this a marathon runner." I said skimming the case file, not that I needed to. We were all aware of this information anyways.

"Everybody drops dead sooner or later. It's why I got job security."

"Yeah, but Frank kicked it here. Now, just yesterday, two perfectly healthy men bit it in Maumee. All heart attacks, you don't think that's strange?" Dean asked him.

"Sounds like Maumee's problem to me. Why's the FBI give a damn, anyway?"

"They think its good training for the newbies. Really we just want to see the results of Frank's autopsy."

"What autopsy?"

"The one you're gonna do."

The coroner shrugs but turns to a table fool of tools and prepares to cut the man open. I swallowed loudly with nerves. Judson gently slid a hand on my back where no one would notice. The coroner's eyes shot over to me.

"First dead body?"

"Far from it. Just not my favorite part." I smiled shyly.

"Well then I should warn you. Because these suckers can get pretty ripe. Hey, hand me those rib cutters, would you?" He asked pointing behind Judson. Judson reached back and handed the cutters to the man. He casually cut down the man's chest with a scalpel and peeled back the flesh, then he began cutting open the ribs. Sam squirmed, and I held my breath until the sound stopped.

"Do we need to leave?" Judson whispered in my ear. I gently shook my head 'no'.

"Is that from a wedding ring? I didn't think Frank was married." Dean leaned in and asked as he held up the man's left hand with a tan line on the fourth finger.

"Ain't my department."

"Any idea how he got these?" Sam asked noting the scratches on his arms.

"You know what? When you drop dead, you actually tend to drop. Body probably got scraped up when it hit the ground…. Hmmm."

"What?"

"I-I can't find any blockages in any of the major arteries." The coroner said ripping the heart out and breaking off whatever held it in place. My stomach rolled and I leaned forward with my hands on my knees. "Heart looks pretty damn healthy."

"You alright back there newbie?" Dean called to me.

"Yup." I sighed straightening back up and taking a deep breath.

"Hold that a second, would you?" The coroner asked handing the heart to Dean since he had gloves on. Then he continued to cut into the body. I stared at the heart in Dean's hand. Unable to tear my gaze away.

But then the sound of ripping and cutting continued, and I began to feel myself turn green. Something from the body squirts out and hits Sam right in the face. He has a panicked look painted on but remains still.

"Oops. Sorry agent, got a little spleen juice there."

"Oh that's it… I can't." I said rushing out with my hand over my mouth.

Judson followed behind me while I heard Dean and the coroner chuckling behind us. Once outside the building and in the fresh air I sat on the edge of the steps, taking deep breaths.

"You good Em?" Judson laughed.

"Remember how you cleaned my puke?"

"Yeah…"

"You might have to do it a second time."

"Babe, next time we'll just let your brother's scope out the morgue. Okay?" He offered politely.

"Sounds good." I nodded.

"C'mon. Let's get something cold against your neck, it might help."

"I don't wanna move yet."

"Okay, I'll be right back then." He said as he jogged back up the steps. I sat taking in deep breaths of fresh brisk morning air.

"Emily?" A voice called out. I opened my eyes and they landed on a blue eyed angel.

"Castiel? What are you doing here?"

"I was doing a routine check in on the Winchester children and you appeared to be in some sort of distress, do you need assistance?"

"Um.. if you could make the feeling in my stomach go away that'd be great."

Castiel nodded briefly and stepped forward, placing two fingers against my forehead. Instantly the nausea was gone and I felt much better.

"Oh thank you… thank you thank you thank you." I said standing.

"You are welcome, do you need anything else?"

"No… did you say you were doing a check up on us?"

"Yes. It is part of my job. To monitor the three of you."

"And exactly how often do you do that?"

"Time is different in heaven then it is on earth, you just know that we are monitoring you closely."

"Right." I nodded confused and slightly weirded out.

"Castiel, can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"Am… am I supposed to turn evil or something? I mean. The devil's blood is in me. That's kind of some heavy shit to just accept. Is there anything you can tell me?"

"Heaven was unaware of the existence of this situation up until the moment Sam died. Azazel did very heavy spell work to keep his actions hidden from us. We are unsure of his purpose for you, and I believe he himself was not sure of the purpose. Keep in mind that Lucifer was and still technically is an Angel. How Azazel was able to extract blood form an angel I am unsure, but the origin of whatever power you possess was created by God, then taken over with evil intent. It was not evil in the beginning."

"Um… thanks. I think."

"You are welcome."

"Castiel… what about Sam."

Castiel got this odd look on his face, a look of 'business' he stared at me and blinked a few times.

"Sam is being monitored for now."

"For now? What does that me-"

"Em? Who you talking to?" Judson's voice caused me to turn and face him, when I looked back to where Castiel stood before me. He was gone.

"Myself I guess." I sighed.

"Here babe. Your brothers are almost done."

"Thanks. I already feel better." I said leaning in to kiss him.

…

"So what did you find out in there?" I asked as Sam and Dean left the sheriff's office. It's easy to get away with 4 people at a morgue, not quite as easy when interviewing actual law enforcement. So Judson and I agreed to hang outside and wait for Sam and Dean to return.

"No way that was a heart attack." Dean sighed as we all walked.

"Definitely no way. Three victims, all with those same red scratches. All went from jittery to terrified to dead within 48 hours." Sam agreed.

"Something scared them to death?" I asked.

"Looks like it, so what can do that?" Sam asked.

"What can't? Ghosts, vampires, chupacabra? It could be a hundred things." I shrugged.

"Yeah. So, we make a list and start crossing things off."

"Alright, who's the last person to see Frank O'Brien alive?" Judson asked.

"Uh, his neighbour, Mark Hutchins."

Just as Judson went to talk Dean stopped us all.

"Hang on, hang on." He mumbled looking ahead.

"What?"

"I don't like the looks of those teenagers down there."

I followed his eyes and they landed on the group of kids standing close to the impala… They seemed harmless, and even if they weren't they were certainly no match for Dean, let alone the four of us together. Sam and I gave each other a curious glance.

"Let's walk this way." Dean insisted as he crossed the street. I followed but watched Dean carefully, he seemed more on alert than he had been earlier in the day. I wasn't sure what he was picking up on, but it made me nervous myself.

"So to Mark Hutchins?" I asked as we all got in.

"Yeah. Sounds like a plan." Sam nodded. I watched Dean as he looked 4 times before pulling out onto the road. It was odd. Something was up.

"I'll let you three take this one. Drop me at the county clerks office and I'll see what I can find." Judson said sliding down in the seat beside me and resting his head on my lap. I grinned and gently pulled my fingers through his hair. Then went back to watching my brothers.

…..

"Tyler and Perry. Just like Aerosmith." Hutchins grinned. Then he looked at me. "What's your name?"

"Mrs. Hamilton." I said with a sly grin. "I'm currently doing my internship with agents Tyler and Perry.

He nodded and opened the door to let us in. Dean winks at me as we walk in and I took a long look around the room as we sat down. This guy must be a reptile fanatic. There were dozens of terrariums and animals.

Dean is looking around the room.

"So, the last time you saw Frank O'Brien?" Sam asked as Dean's eyes went wide landing on the lizard not far from us that seemed to be staring at him

"Monday, he was watching me from his window. I waved at him, but he just closed the curtains."

"Hmm. did you speak to him recently? Did he seem different? Uh, scared?"

"Oh, totally. He was freaking out."

He wasn't the only one freaking out. Dean was a complete sweaty mess. His eyes traveled the various creatures around us and I could swear I heard his heart beating from here.

"Do you know, uh..do you know what scared him?" I asked trying to focus on Mr. Hutchins.

"Well, yeah, witches."

We all looked up at him and I swallowed loudly.

"Witches?" I mumbled. "Like...?"

"Well, "Wizard of Oz" was on tv the other night, right? And he said that green bitch was totally out to get him."

I let a small breath of relief but Dean beside me still seemed to be on the edge of a full blown meltdown.

"Anything else scare him?" Sam asked.

"Everything else scared him. Al-Qaeda, ferrets, artificial sweetener. Those pez dispensers with their dead little eyes. Lots of stuff."

"So, tell me. What was Frank like?" I asked leaning forward.

"I mean, he's dead, you know? I-I don't want to hammer him but, he got better."

"He got better?"

"Well, in high school he was, he was a dick."

"A dick?" Sam pressed.

"Like a bully. I mean, he probably taped half the town's butt cheeks together."

Dean snickered and I elbowed him.

"Mine included." He mumbled.

"So he pissed a lot of people off. You think anyone would have wanted to get revenge?" Dean asked finally seeming to calm down some.

"Well, I don't...Frank had a heart attack, right?"

"Just answer the question, sir."

"No, I don't think so. Like I said, he got better. And after what happened to his wife."

"His wife? So he was married."

"She died about 20 years ago. Frank was really broken up about it."

Dean opened his mouth to reply but it closed slowly as his eyes fell on the snake wrapping around Mark's neck. Mark begins to pet it and notice's Dean's stare.

"Don't be scared of Donny. He's a sweetheart. It's Marie you got to look out for. She smells fear."

At that moment a VERY large albino snake climbed over the back of the couch and slid between Dean and I before slithering right into his lap. He hasped and then held his breath.

"Um. Mr. Hutchins I think we're done for now. Could you please um. Gather… Or remove. Marie from our partner's lap."

"Oh. Sure, yeah… she's a real wild one." He grinned as he stood and helped Dean stand without angering the large snake. Dean finally breathed as his body lifted off the couch. He ran for the door and after a quick goodbye we followed.

"De, you good?" I asked him as we walked out to the car. I put my hand around his arm.

"Yeah. Yeah… I'm good."

"You sure?" I asked again. He nodded briskly and seemed to shrug off whatever was bothering him.

"Hey. Any luck at the county clerk's office?" Sam asked as Judson slid into the car.

"I'm not sure I'd call it luck. I looked into Frank's wife, Jessie, after you guys called. She was a manic-depressive. She went off her meds back in '88 and vanished. They found her two weeks later, three towns over. Strung up in her motel room, suicide."

"Poor girl… That's terrible." I sulked.

"Any chance Frank helped her along to the other side?" Dean asked.

"No, Frank was working the swing shift when she disappeared. Airtight alibi. How was Frank's pad?"

"We walked over after leaving Hutchins' place and it was clean top to bottom. No EMF. No hex bags. No Sulphur." I sighed.

"So probably no ghosts, no witches, no demons." Dean mumbled from the front seat as he drove.

"3 down and 97 to go." I sighed.

"Yeah." Sam agreed before leaning towards Dean. "Dude, you're going 20."

"And?"

"That's the speed limit."

"What? Safety's a crime now?"

Sam and I exchanged confused looks and I leaned forward a little. Dean drove through and intersection and passed our hotel.

"Dean, where are you going? That was our hotel." I asked.

"Em, I'm not gonna make a left-hand turn into oncoming traffic. I'm not suicidal." He paused then looked at me. "Did I just say that? That was kind of weird."

"Yeah…" I sighed sitting back.

"Hey. Do you guys hear something?" Judson asked as he leaned down in the seat.

"What is that?" Sam asked turning around. Judson lifted a bag and handed it to Sam. The noise seemed to be coming from inside it. It was the EMF meter. The closer Sam moved it to Dean the more it went off.

"Am I haunted? Am I haunted?!" Dean began to panic as he pulled into the hotel.

"Dean calm down!" I said jumping out of the car after him.

"Calm down?! Are you kidding me! I'm haunted!"

"De, please… deep breaths. Deep slow breaths." I said putting my hands on his face. He closed his eyes and began deep breathing, Sam and I stared at each other concerned.

"Sam. Call Bobby." I mumbled

We managed to calm Dean down and get him inside the motel room.

"Bobby didn't answer, I'll try again in the morning. I think he's asleep." Sam said coming back in.

"So what do we do till then?"

"Sleep I guess, Em. I don't know… Keep an eye on Dean."

"Sam this is weird. Really weird."

"I know kiddo. Where is he now?"

"The shower."

"Good… maybe he'll relax a little bit."

"Yeah." I sighed. "Sam… do you think this has to do with the case?"

"I don't know Em. We'll dig around more tomorrow. Okay? Till then let's just hang low and wait to hear from Bobby. You okay?"

"Yeah. Just worried about chicken shit in there."

"Why don't you go next door, hang with Judson. I'll keep an eye on him for a while."

"I don't wanna leave him right now."

"Em. Seriously… We're just next door. You need to keep your head on straight right now. You can't do that if you worry yourself to death over him. Okay? I promise I've got him, and you can come back in like an hour."

"…Okay. I guess." I stood, Sam hugged me and kissed the top of my head before I left the room.

I stepped next door and knocked, he opened the door and I stepped in with a small smile.

"Hey babe, how's Dean?"

"He's okay."

"… Emily. Get out of your head."

"What?"

He took my face in his hands and put it so close to his that our noses touched.

"Get out… of your head."

"I'm trying." I mumbled.

"Dean's gonna be fine. What did Bobby say?"

"Didn't answer, its kinda late so we're gonna try again in the morning."

"Okay, well he's fine for now, he's just acting funny. Nothing serious yet so we'll just jump in front of this whole thing and figure out how to fix it."

"Yeah." I sighed as Judson sat down on the bed. He pulled me towards him by the hips, then he started to kiss my stomach through my shirt.

I smiled and rolled my eyes playfully.

"Jud… stop."

"Oh c'mon. Sam and Dean are thoroughly distracted. You and I. All alone… with this big comfy bed."

I giggled as I sat and straddled him. His lips molded against mine and I pulled my hands through his hair while his slid around and dipped into my jeans. I moaned softly but pulled back.

"Sorry." I sighed. "I'm just distracted."

"I can tell." He sighed softly. "You wanna go for a drive? Clear your head some."

"No. I don't want to go far."

"Well baby." He said leaning back on his hands. "I'm yours for the next hour or so… what do you want?"

"… Castiel came to see me yesterday."

Judson sat up and put his arms around me to keep me steady as he moved.

"What did he say?" He asked casually.

"He said he was checking on us and noticed I wasn't feeling well. So he dropped by."

"When?"

"When you ran in to get me a wet rag at the morgue."

"So…"

"So. He just. Was checking in. Kinda strange to know that he's watching us though ya know? I asked him about my abilities… if they were evil or not."

"What'd he say?"

"Basically that they weren't sure yet."

"Well. That's not bad news."

"No. I guess not… Maybe he can help Dean."

"Sweetheart, we don't even know if anything is wrong with Dean. It may be a fluke thing."

"Something IS wrong, Judson. I can tell. He's not being Dean. He's being… different."

"Maybe it's a hell thing, I mean can you imagine what he went through?"

"He's been hiding all that ever since he came back. I don't see him cracking now for no good reason."

"Patience Em. We'll work this out tomorrow. What else did Castiel say?"

"Nothing. I was going to ask him about Sam but he took off when you came back out."

"Oh, well I'm so sorry I ruined your fun." He teased.

"I never have fun with anyone but you." I said playfully as I kissed him.

"… So does this mean we can?"

"No. Not tonight." I said patting his cheek and climbing off his lap, he fell back on the bed with a sigh.

….

"Dean stop it! You're gonna make it worse." I said as I slapped his hand.

"Dude. Look at this." He said lifting up his arm to Sam as he came back towards us. It was covered in scratches where he had been itching at it since last night.

"I just talked to Bobby." Sam said looking between the two of us with a nervous face. He handed a box of donuts to Dean, who smelt them and then threw them into the car.

"And?" I asked impatiently.

"Um, well, you're not gonna like it."

"What?" Dean asked.

"It's ghost sickness."

"Ghost sickness?" Judson asked with his eyebrows raised.

"Yeah."

"God, no." Dean trembled, then his face went flat. "I don't even know what that is."

"Yeah me neither." Judson shrugged.

"Okay. Some cultures believe that certain spirits can infect the living with a disease, which is why they stopped displaying bodies in houses and started taking them off to funeral homes."

"Okay, get to the good stuff." I pushed.

"Symptoms are you get anxious... Then scared, then really scared, then your heart gives out. Sound familiar?"

"Yeah, but Sam, we haven't seen a ghost in weeks." Dean argued.

"Well, I doubt you caught it from a ghost. Look, once a spirit infects that first person, Ghost sickness can spread like any sickness through a cough, a handshake, whatever. It's like the flu. Now, Frank O'Brien was the first to die, which means he was probably the first infected. Patient zero."

"Our very own outbreak monkey."

"Right. Get this, Frank was in Maumee over the weekend. Softball tournament. Which is where he must have infected the other two victims."

"Great." I sighed. "So, ghosts infected Frank. He passed it on to the other guys and Dean got it from his corpse?"

"Right."

"So now what, I have 48 hours before I go insane and my heart stops?" Dean asked.

"More like 24."

"What?! Well what to do we do?! I mean there has to be a cure of somekind! Right, I mean what did Bobby say?" I began to ramble nervously.

"Em chill." Judson whispered as he reached up and grabbed my arm. I pulled it away from him and moved to stand closer to Dean.

"Well, why me? Why not any of you? I mean, you got hit with the spleen juice!" Dean said.

"Yeah, um, you see Bobby and I have a theory about that too. Turns out all three victims shared a certain, uh, personality type. Frank was a bully. The other two victims, one was a vice principal, the other was a bouncer."

"Okay?"

"Basically, they were all dicks."

"So you're saying I'm a dick?"

"No, no, no. It's not just that. All three victims used fear as a weapon, and now this disease is just returning the favor."

"I don't scare people."

"Dean, all we do is scare people." I sighed and leaned against him. He put his arm over my shoulder.

"Okay, well then, you're a dick too." He said to Sam as he hugged me slightly.

"Apparently, I'm not." Sam shrugged.

"Me neither." Judson added. I shot him a sharp glare.

"Whatever. How do we stop it?" I then asked.

"We gank the ghost that started all this. We do that, the disease should clear up."

"Should?" I asked hesitantly.

"Em. It's the only thing we got to go on right now."

"So we just throw all our chips in and hope for the best?! Sam there has to be more to this, I… I can't do this again."

"I know, kiddo… have a little faith okay. We're gonna do everything we can."

"So this ghost. You thinking Frank's wife?" Judson asked as I put my other arm around Dean's waist and hid in chest.

"Who knows…"

"So can we eat?" Dean asked randomly.

"Yeah, I'll grab some food and we'll go back to the room and see what we can dig up."

"I'll come with. I wanna make sure its safe to eat." Dean insisted.

"I'll take Em back to the room." Judson said reaching out for me when I went to follow my brothers.

"Sounds good." They nodded, I turned and shot him a glare, then stomped off in the direction of the motel.

"Emily. Talk to me."

"… Why the hell did you do that?"

"Because you're freaking out. And you need to chill."

"We just got him back Judson! And now we have like 12 hours to save his ass? Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"Em, we'll figure it out." He said pulling on my arm.

"Stop! Let me go."

"No, you're acting ridiculous!"

"You don't get it!"

"Oh I get it just fine, in case you forgot I was there when he died. I was there those four months, and I'm still around… So yeah I get it. You're flipping your lid that this was all just some dream and you're gonna wake up tomorrow and he'll be dead again. That this is some torturous trick from the trickster.. Huh? Thinking that you're so fucked up that you've made up these last few weeks in your head?"

I pulled my arm from his grip and ascended the stairs up to the room.

Is he right? Yes.

Will I admit that? No.

… I can't let the thoughts get ahold of me. I have to hold onto the here and now. I have to hold onto Dean. If I just hold onto him then he can't go anywhere… I'll just hold onto Dean.

"Emily!" Judson yelled from behind me.

Right as I reached the door and went to slip in the key he grabbed me and gently pushed my back against the wall, a hand on either arm.

"Stop. Breathe."

It wasn't until he said the word that I realized I had been holding my breath. I parted my lips and gently took in a breath, my eyes lost in the green orbs in front of me.

"It's gonna be okay. We'll figure this out. Okay? You with me?"

I nodded slowly. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine… slowly, deeply, intimately. His hands released my arms and moved down my waist and around to the back, dipping into the rim of my jeans.

"This… this was all real. Don't think for one second this isn't real." He said as he squeezed my ass and began to bite down against my neck. I gasped with pleasure and my body became pliant. I ran my fingers through his hair, then down his body, and pulled his shirt off in one swift pull. He pulled me back towards his door and opened it without pulling his mouth from my neck.

Once inside I kicked the door closed and we began undressing one another as quickly as our hands would allow.

This.

This is real.

Nothing has ever felt more real than this right here.

….

Judson and I walked next door once Sam began calling saying they were back in the room and that Dean was asking where we were, I opened it and found a shattered clock on the wall.

"Everything all right?" I asked taking in his panicked posture.

"Oh,yeah. Just peachy. Find anything yet Sam?" Dean asked as he went back to picking at his arm.

"Yeah, Jessie O'Brien's body was cremated, so I'm pretty sure she is not our ghost. Hey, quit picking at that." Sam corrected him.

"How are you feeling?" I asked sitting next to him and leaning against his side.

"Awesome. It's nice to have my head on the chopping block again. I almost forgot what that feels like."

"Yeah." I mumbled.

"It's freaking delightful."

"We'll keep looking." Sam encouraged, just then Dean began to cough violently.

"Dean? You okay? Dean!"

I looked up to Sam panicked and he rushed over helping Dean stand as he began to make choking noises.

"Oh my god… Dean!"

Sam rushes Dean over to the sink where he begins gagging. Judson swung his arm around me and held me back as Sam patted his back as he attempted to spit something out… eventually a bloody wood chip fell into the bottom of the sink and Dean began gasping for air.

"We've been completely ignoring the biggest clue we have, you." Sam said picking up the chip and looking at Dean.

"I don't want to be a clue." Dean whined.

"The abrasions, this, the disease, it's trying to tell us something."

"Tell us what, wood chips?"

"Exactly." Sam nodded. I broke free of Judson and ran to Dean's side, holding him as tightly as I possibly could. He held me as he began to reclaim his breath, slow and even.

"I'm gonna go get some things together, give me a hand man." Sam said leading Judson outside.

Dean and I stayed standing near the sink.

"De… are you okay?"

"I don't know Em. I don't know."

"… I'm scared."

"Me too kiddo. Really scared."

"I won't let them get you again… I promise."

"I know. I know you won't.

"I… I can't lose you again." I sniffled.

"You won't babygirl. You won't. Sam's on top of this."

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Hey. Look at me…" He said as he lifted my chin. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Promise?"

"… Em."

"No. You said we're starting fresh. This is fresh. Everything's in the past. Promises matter again."

"Promises matter again." He nodded. "I promise."

…

"I'm not going in there." Dean shook his head as we stood in front of the old Mill.

"You're a clue. You're going in, Dean."

Dean nodded reluctantly and threw back of a shot of whiskey before speaking.

"Let's do this. It is a little spooky, isn't it?" Sam rolled his eyes and handed Dean a gun. "Oh, I'm not carrying that. It could go off. I'll man the flashlight."

"You do that." Sam said suspiciously as he handed me the gun instead. I looked at Judson concerned and he gave me an encouraging half smile.

Once inside I pulled the EMF meter and it instantly began going off. I moved in all directions and it never wavered, then I turned to look at Dean.

"EMF's not gonna work with me around, is it?"

"You don't say. Come on." I nodded, catching us up with Sam and Judson. Sam was picking something up off the floor.

"To Frank. Love, Jessie." Sam read outloud as he picked up Frank O'Brien's ring.

"What the hell was Frank doing here?" I asked.

"No idea." He answered walking forward, there was a rustling sound in the lockers in the room next to us. Sam motioned for me to follow. Dean and Judson followed behind us. Sam moved forward to open the locker and a cat jumped out, which wouldn't have made me jump out of my skin if Dean hadn't let out a shriek like a fucking five year old girl as it ran by him.

"That was scary!" He shouted. I threw the EMF meter at him and stormed out, Sam behind me. "Wait. Don't leave me!" Dean said running after us. Judson followed him out shaking his head.

I came across a desk with an ID card on it.

"Sam… look at this. Luther Garland".

"Hey, this is frank's wife." Judson said lifting one of the many pictures drawn and taped to the wall, and hidden in the drawer.

"Plot thickens." I said to him with pointed eyes.

"Yeah, but into what?" Sam asked ripping a drawing off the wall. Suddenly a machine starts running and we all turned, just in time to see Dean's flashlight on the ground and his ass flying out of the building at full speed.

"Hey! Dean!" Sam yelled.

"Well I guess we got the right place." I sighed.

"Yeah. I'd say so…" Sam sighed.

"Sammy, he's getting worse."

"I know kiddo. I know.

….

"This is the Garland file." Deputy Linus smiled as he handed it to us.

"Deputy, according to this, Luther Garland's cause of death was physical trauma. What does that mean?" Sam said opening the file and asking after a quick skim.

"The guy died 20 years ago, before my time. Sorry."

"Then can we talk to the sheriff?" I asked.

"Um, he's out sick today."

"Well, if you see him, will you have him call us? We're staying at the Bluebird. Mind if I take this?" Sam asked lifting the file, the Deputy nodded and walked away.

"So… where to now?"

"Looks like Luther has a brother. We should go see him."

"Think Dean can handle that?" Judson asked.

"I don't know… but we shouldn't leave him alone."

"Agreed." I nodded.

"I'll watch him in the car while you two tackle the brother." Judson offered.

"Thanks babe." I said kissing his cheek as we walked back to the impala where Dean was currently scratching his arm.

"Mr. Garland. Hi uh, I'm Agent Tyler. This is Agent Hamilton, FBI. We'd like to ask you a few questions about your brother Luther."

"What do you want to know?"

"Uh, well...according to this, your brother Luther died of physical trauma."

Mr. Garland scoffed loudly

"You don't agree?" I asked.

"No, I don't."

"Well, then, what would you call it?"

"Don't matter what an old man thinks."

"Mr. Garland. We're just trying to get the truth on your brother. Please." I asked sincerely.

"Everybody was scared of Luther. They called him a monster. He was too big, too mean-looking. Just too different. Didn't matter he was the kindest man I ever knew. Didn't matter he'd never hurt no one. A lot of people failed Luther. I was one of them. I was a widower with three young 'uns. And I told myself there was nothing I could do."

"Mr. Garland, um...do you recognize this woman?" Sam asked showing him the portrait of Frank's wife.

"It's Jessie O'Brien. Her man, Frank, killed Luther."

"How do you know that?" Sam and I exchanged a shocked look.

"Everybody knows. They just don't talk about it. Jessie was a receptionist at the mill. She was always real nice to Luther, and he had a crush on her. But Frank didn't like it. And when Jessie went missing, Frank was sure that Luther had done something to her. Turns out the old gal killed herself, but Frank didn't know that. They found Luther with a chain wrapped around his neck. He was dragged up and down the stretch outside that plant till he was past dead."

"That is horrible." I said, feeling sick to my stomach at the thought… Poor Luther.

"And O'Brien was never arrested?" Sam asked.

"I screamed to every cop in town. They didn't want to look into Frank. He was a pillar of the community. My brother was just the town freak."

"You must have hated Frank O'Brien."

"I did for a long time, but life's too short for hate, son. And frank wasn't thinking straight. His wife had vanished, he was terrified. A damn shame he had to put Luther through the same, but...that's fear. It spreads and spreads."

Sam and I finished our discussion and walked through the halls back towards the door.

"Now we know what the scratches are, road rash. And I'm guessing Luther swallowed some wood chips when he was being dragged down that road." I sighed as we walked.

"Makes sense. Deans experiencing his death in slow motion."

"Yeah well, not slow enough, huh? Say we burn some bones and get him healthy."

"Em, it won't be that easy."

"No, no, it'll be that easy. Why wouldn't it be that easy?"

"Luther was road-hauled. His body was ripped to pieces. He was probably scattered all over that road. There's no way we're gonna find all the remains."

"You're kidding me."

"Look, we'll just have to figure something else out."

"You get to tell Dean…"

Once we hit the parking lot Judson and Dean were standing by the car. Sam moved towards Dean and pulled him to the side. I wrapped my arms around Judson's neck and he held me tightly.

"How bad is it?"

"… It's bad." I whispered. He held me even tighter and lifted me up so that I could sit on the trunk.

"You okay baby?"

"Jud, they were so mean to him. Luther. It's not his fault, none of it… he's the victim in all of this."

"People are cruel sweetheart, nothing you can do to fix that." He sighed reaching up and pinning my hair behind my ear.

"You know what? Screw this!" Dean yelled. I jumped down and walked over to them.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dean." I said reaching out to him.

"Come on. No, I mean, come on! What are we doing?!"

"We're hunting a ghost." Sam told him calmly.

"A ghost, exactly! Who does that?"

"Us?"

"Us? Right. And that Sam, that is exactly why our lives suck. I mean, come on, we hunt monsters! What the hell?! I mean, normal people, they see a monster, and they run. But not us, no, no, no, we - we search out things that want to kill us. Yeah? Huh? Or eat us! You know who does that? Crazy people! We...are insane! You know, and then there's the bad diner food and then the skeevy motel rooms and then the truck-stop waitress with the bizarre rash. I mean, who wants this life? Huh? Seriously? Do you guys actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day, every single day? I don't think so! I mean, I drive too fast. And I listen to the same five albums over and over and over again, a-and I sing along. I'm annoying, I know that. And you Sam -you're gassy! You eat half a burrito, and you get toxic! Emily is constantly whining about something! And this kid just wants to screw around with her! I mean, you know what?" He paused, tossing the keys to Sam. "You can forget it."

"Whoa, Dean. where are you going?" Sam called out as he walked away. I watched in shock from his sudden ramble.

"Stay away from me Sam, okay? Cause I am done with it. I'm done with the monsters and - and - and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse. I'm out. I'm done. Quit." Then Dean broke into a full sprint.

"… We should go after him." I mumbled to Sam, still processing his outburst.

"Yeah. Let's go."

…

"We looked everywhere for you, Dean. How the hell did you get here?" I yelled as we bursted into the motel room and Dean was sitting on the bed panting.

"Ran. What do we do now? I got less than four hours on the clock. I'm gonna die."

"No… Dean." Sam sighed, getting closer to him, but this panicked look crossed his face.

"We're gonna be okay De." I said, but he looked up at me like I'd cursed him instead. "Dean?"

Dean jumped up and pushed Sam against the wall.

"Get out of my brother!" He yelled as he slammed him.

"Dean! Let him go!" I said yanking on his arm, he elbowed me in the chest and knocked me down.

"Em!" Judson said pulling me away.

"Hey, hey, hey, Dean. Hey, Dean. Dean. Dean." Sam repeated until Dean began to calm down. Finally looking us in the eye.

"Dean you good?" Sam asked him.

He let Sam go and backed up, looking over at me.

"Emily… I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He mumbled as he pulled me from Judson.

"It's okay De… I'm fine. I promise."

Judson met my eyes cautiously, I could already see his wheels spinning.

….

"I'm gonna stay."

"What?"

"You two go meet with Bobby… I'm gonna stay. I have to. I can't leave him alone like this." I said crossing my arms.

"Emily can I talk to you?" Judson growled.

"Why?"

"Please." He said pulling me away from the back of the impala where he and Sam were packing things.

"What?!" I asked annoyed as finally released me.

"You can't stay here, it's dangerous. Dean doesn't know up from down and he's already attacked Sam. The worse this gets the worse he gets."

"Dangerous?" I scoffed. "It's Dean!"

"The same Dean who just sent a full force elbow into your chest… I can already see the bruise."

"Oh shut up! It's Dean! I'm not leaving him alone right now! He needs me…"

"Emily I'm serious! I don't like it… you go with Sam and I'll stay if you're that worried about it."

"No way, I said I'm staying. You're not my boss." I said moving to walk off.

"Emily!"

"No! I'm not doing this with you right now!"

I stomped off and went inside, closing, locking, and salting the door behind me. Then I turned to face Dean, who was shifting side to side and flipping through channels on the TV.

"Hey… what are we watching?"

"Uh. Gumby." He mumbled. I looked up to see Pokey being lassoed and dragged through the desert. Dean's eyes went wide and I quickly snatched the remote.

"Okay, this isn't helping." I said turning off the TV. "How about we uh, clean weapons?"

"Accidental discharge?"

"Right… Um. You hungry?"

"Food poisoning."

"I'll take that as a no."

About twenty minutes or so later the phone finally rings. I rushed to pick it up.

"Hey. What's up?" I asked seeing Sam's name flash across the screen.

"Hey! So, uh, just have Dean ride out the trip, okay? He – he's gonna be fine. We got a plan."

"What's the plan?"

"Uh, just a good plan, all right? Hang in there." Sam said before hanging up. I sighed.

"Was that Sam?"

"Yeah. It was... Says he's gotta plan. Just hang in tight, okay?" I asked. Dean turned the TV back on and took a long deep breath. I turned to look out the window, trying to keep my panic to myself. Dean would only freak out more.

I watched as the cars drove by, I watched people waking up and walking out to the parking lot, the motel janitor emptying trashcans… anything to keep my mind off of what was going on right now. Off of the clock. Dean had shattered the room clock but it was tempting to stare at the screen on my phone as the minutes ticked by.

I sighed deeply and turned around, when I did Dean was no longer on the couch.

"Dean?" I asked cautiously walking away from the window. Suddenly an arm was around my throat, choking me.

"You can't do this! I can't go back!" Dean yelled into my ear. I fought to be released and finally he threw me down and against the bedside table, hitting my head on the corner.

"Dean! Stop!" I begged as he bent down and picked me up, throwing me against the wall.

"I won't go back there again! You… you can't make me do it anymore!"

"Dean! Please!"

"No! I'm not your slave! I won't hurt them!" He yelled against my face. I reached up and kneed him in the gut, taking my chance to run. I ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut behind me.

Dean pounded against it, then the sound of someone falling to the floor…

"Dean?" I called out. No reply. Part of me was terrified to open the door. The other part was terrified he was in serious trouble. The latter won out and I ripped the door open. Dean was sprawled out on the floor, choking.

"Dean! Dean! Breathe! Please…" I cried as I moved to put his head in my lap. "Dean come on, breathe! Breathe dammit!" I said as I leaned his head over to the side, hoping that he would begin to cough up wood chips or something and start breathing again.

"Dean!" I cried, panicked that he would die in my arms for the second time. That my worst fears were true and all of this had been a lie. A trick… that Dean would be back in hell. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I just held him.

I could feel his heart beating damn near out of this chest… I put my hand over it and then it stopped.

"DEAN!"

He finally sat up and began gasping for air. Relief washed over me… I let him go and cradled my knees, rocking back and forth as he started to catch his breath.

"… Em… Emily." He coughed. "I… I'm."

"You remember it… all of it. Don't you." I accused. His face was still. His eyes wide. "Answer me!"

"I… I can't. I can't remember." He lied pulling his eyes to the ground like the carpet suddenly became interesting.

"You're lying!"

"No!" He yelled. Putting his head in his hands. Then he pushed himself up off the floor and went into the bathroom. Slamming the door shut behind him.

I moved to push my hair away from my face and felt something warm and sticky… my head. I moved to the sink and began to wash the blood out of my hair, and off my forehead. I applied pressure. Hoping to stop the bleeding before Judson or Sam returned.

Judson would only be angry. Blab about how he was right… Sam would ask questions. Questions I don't want to answer. When Dean fully comes to… he'll look at them and remember what he did. So patched it up as well as I could and pulled my hair over my face to cover it up.

Then I moved to change into a long sleeve shirt, to hide the bruising on my arms where he grabbed me.

So that he couldn't see them.

So that I couldn't' see them.

Dean finally came out of the bathroom as I finished pulling the shirt down over my stomach.

"Emily, are you okay?" He asked walking towards me.

"I'm fine." I said moving away from him and pretending to dig in my bag for something.

"I. I didn't hurt you did I?" He asked, his voice so weak.

"No. I'm fine De." I said with a calm tone. "… Are you going to tell me about it."

"About what?"

"About what you saw… about hell." He was silent. He didn't sigh, he didn't groan, I don't even know if he was breathing once the words left my mouth. "I'll take that as a no."

"I don't remember." He said flatly. We both knew it was a bold faced lie, and a poor one at that. But that was his story and he was sticking to it.

"Yeah. Okay." I nodded. "I'm going for a walk."

"Em, please don't leave."

"I'm pretty sure the sickness is gone, so you should be fine till they get back." I mumbled before closing the door behind me.

….

"So you guys road-hauled a ghost with a chain?" Dean asked as we all stood on the deserted road. I stood close to Uncle Bobby. Leaning against him and avoiding the eyes of the other 3 men. Dean had tried to talk to me a hundred times. Judson won't quit staring at me, and Sam keeps sending me the 'what's wrong' loo.

"Iron chain etched with spell work." Bobby corrected.

"Hmm, that's a new one."

"It was what he was most afraid of. It was pretty brutal, though." Sam said sadly.

Just the thought of poor Luther going through that again made my stomach flip. Poor guy.

"On the upside, I'm still alive, so uh, go team!" Dean smiled.

"Yeah. How you feeling, by the way?" Sam asked him.

"Fine."

"You sure, Dean? 'Cause this line of work can get awful scary." Bobby teased him, getting a chuckle out of all of us.

"I'm fine. You want to go hunting? I'll hunt. I'll kill anything." Dean said puffing out his chest.

"Awwww, he's adorable." Bobby grinned as he leaned down and said it softly. I half smiled, he gave me a worried look and squeezed his arm over my shoulder.

"I got to get out of here. You kids drive safe."

"You too, Bobby. Hey, thanks for all this." Sam said shaking his hand. I walked with Bobby over to his car.

"You okay darlin?"

"… Not really."

"What's bothering you Em?"

"I don't even know where to start Uncle Bobby."

"You need a get away?"

"No… You and I both know they'll be lost without me." I half smiled.

He chuckled.

"Well darlin, you call when you figure out where to start, okay?"

"Thanks Uncle Bobby. I love you."

I hugged him and he kissed the top of my head before climbing into the car and driving away. I walked back towards the boys.

"You good Em?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I half smiled, moving to Judson. I put my face in the crook of his neck and he put his arms around me, using his fingertips to trace my spine. At least here he can't stare at me. And my brothers wouldn't bug me with anymore questions.

"So uh...so, what did you see? Near the end, I mean." Sam asked. My body went rigid. I heard Dean sigh.

"Howler monkeys. Whole roomful of them. Those things creep the hell out of me."

"Right." Sam laughed.

"No, just the usual stuff, Sammy. Nothing I can't handle."

I pulled back from Judson slightly, and my eyes met Deans. He stared at me with guilt. I knew he wanted to talk, but I also knew I wasn't ready for that. I didn't want to be lied to again… and again.

"Well let's get out of here." Sam sighed as we all moved to get in the car. Judson squeezed me and ran his hands up and down my arms. I flinched when he hit a tender spot. He stopped and pulled be away form him. I pushed my eyes to the ground.

"Em?"

"What?"

He didn't answer, but instead squeezed my arm where he had rubbed against it. I tried not to flinch again, but he pressed harder and I couldn't help it.

"Emily." He said flatly.

"We need to go, they're waiting for us."

"Emily. Roll up your sleeve."

"Jud, come on! Let's just go."

He grabbed me by the wrist and pushed my sleeve up, showing the hand print shaped bruise on my upper arm. I could feel his eyes boring through my face, but I refused to look at him.

"Is there more?" He asked, nearly growling. I didn't answer. He proceeded to pull up my other sleeve, unsatisfied when he found it bruise free. He looked at my neck, then moved to push my hair away from my face.

"Will you stop!" I finally said.

"… Show me."

"Show you what!"

"Emily don't play games with me."

"Judson just drop it."

He reached up and held my head in place with one hand and pushed my hair back with the other, exposing the small cut and bruise on my hairline that I had carefully hidden. His eyes landed on it and he grazed it with his fingers.

"I can't believe you tried to hide this shit from me!"

I didn't answer him.

"Emily talk to me!"

"I just want to get in the car… and drive." I finally mumbled, my eyes blurring with the emotion I was trying to hold back. He shook his head and grinded his teeth with anger. Then he opened the car door and stood there, waiting for me to get in. I slid into the seat and sighed, Dean stared at me through the rear view mirror. I turned my attention out the window as Judson got in and shut the door.

Dean turned the key and we were moving again.

I waited a few moments and reached over, trying to hold hands with Judson, but he pulled away.

I sighed and reached into the floorboard for my ipod, popping in the ear buds and closing my eyes, hoping that by the time we get to wherever the hell we're going Judson will be cooled off.


	72. Chapter 72

Author's Note: Hello my favorite people! I am super excited to get another chapter out to you all! A lot happening here, a lot of things to come. Some twists up my sleeve that I can't wait to get to you all! I love you and appreciate all your support and love! I thank you all so much for allowing me to tell this story! Please read and review! I love to hear from yall!

AUTHOR'S NOTE 2: I published this chapter, then realized a large chunk of it was missing- THIS IS THE CORRECT CHAPTER WITH ALL MISSING PARTS INCLUDED. Sorry to throw yall off! Love you all!

By the time Dean pulled into a motel parking lot it was almost 2 in the morning. We had been driving all day long, stopping only for bathroom breaks and dinner at some highway diner.

If you've ever spent an entire day sitting next to someone who refuses to even look at you then you know the pain I'm feeling at the moment. As soon as we got to the motel I couldn't wait to get out of the impala, I felt suffocated sitting so close to Judson while literally being able to feel the waves of anger pulse over him. I had tried a few times to intertwine our hands, or lean against him. He however just pulled away.

Judson got his own room… and quickly unpacked his bags from the trunk and shut the door as he went in. I sighed as I leaned against the impala.

"What's going on with you two?" Sam asked coming to stand next to me. "I mean I could have cut the tension in that backseat all day today."

"Nothing." I sighed.

"Doesn't look like nothing kiddo."

"I just don't wanna talk about it right now." I said smiling at him sadly. He nodded and pulled me in for a hug, landing a kiss on the top of my head as he walked in with our bags.

I walked back to the trunk to see what was left to grab, when I did I accidentally bumped right into Dean, who I also had been speaking to all day, even though I could feel his stare on me through the rear view mirror.

"Sorry." He mumbled quickly, we met eyes for a minute before I moved to walk away. "Em wait!"

I stopped and left my back facing him, crossing my arms.

"Can we please talk, kiddo you're killing me."

"Fine." I mumbled turning around.

"Wanna go for a ride? Just us."

"Dean we've been in this car all damn day, the last thing I wanna do is get back in."

"Right… Um. There's a park across the street?" He asked.

"Fine." I said moving to walk towards it. I could hear Dean following behind me.

"Emily I'm sorry." He said weakly.

"I know. Me too." I said as I approached the swing set. I sat down on the middle swing and Dean stood in front of me.

"Can I see?"

"See what?"

"Your head… please."

I sighed but stood, Dean took two steps forward and gently pushed back my hair, his finger sliding against the cut. His face twitched.

"I'm fine Dean. It doesn't even hurt."

"And the bruises?"

"Not the first time I've had a bruise. We both know that."

"Emily… I'm so sorry. I don't want you to feel like you're not safe with me."

"Do you seriously think that's what this is about?" I said pulling back in anger. "You think I don't feel safe with you?"

"I- I don-"

"No! I'm pissed off because you LIED to me Dean! Right to my face after we just finished saying that this was a fresh start, for ALL of us! Including you… so why won't you tell me about hell? I know you remember!"

Dean huffed loudly and turned away from me.

"Dean!" I yelled demanding he look back at me. "You beat the hell out of me because you thought I was taking you back… you kept screaming about being a slave, and hurting people! What the hell happened to you down there?"

He shook his head back and forth and I had to look twice to make sure that was really tears falling off his face. Suddenly my anger began to fade, and my protective side won out. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, when I did he let out a couple of very small, tight sobs.

"Dean." I whispered. "Talk to me."

He pulled away and moved to sit on the swings, so I sat beside him.

"I can't." He finally said, barely able to form the words. "I just can't… not yet."

I watched him argue with himself internally, horrific pain and terror in his eyes as he looked at me.

"Okay." I nodded. "Not today… not yet."

He sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Hey jackass, get up and give me a push will you?" I said to him with a smile, he smiled back and moved behind me, dragging me backwards and throwing the swing forward. The night air against my face felt nice, and the higher Dean pushed me the more I couldn't hold back the giggle fighting its way out of me.

Dean had me so high in the air that the chains were pumping on the way back down.

"Stop!" I giggled, worried I might fly over the rail if he kept going. He laughed and caught me as I came back down, taking me and himself backwards onto the small pea gravel rocks under us. We laid there and laughed until we couldn't breathe.

"Hey Em…"

"Yeah?"

"You should go work things out with him too… I'm sorry if I caused any trouble, but you better tell him to suck it the fuck up and be nice to you or I'll kick his ass."

I laughed as I punched Dean's arm

"He's only mad cause he cares. I know that… he's just an ass about it sometimes."

"Like I said, free asskicking anytime." Dean said as he stood and pulled me up as well. I sighed as pulled me back across the park to the motel.

"Hey. Piggy back ride." I demanded. He laughed but crouched as I jumped onto his back, almost knocking us to the ground a second time. I laughed as he straightened us out and walked us back to the room, once inside he turned backwards and let us fall onto the bed. Sam smiled and shook his head at us.

"You two having fun while I do all the work in here?"

"Aw, poor Sammy." I teased.

"Yeah yeah, poor Sammy." He mocked. Dean and I laughed.

"Alright, I guess I am gonna go next door and try to smooth shit over… don't wait up for me."

"Hey!" Dean yelled as I walked out the door. "I'm serious about the ass kicking!"

I stood in front of the motel door next to ours and lifted my hand to knock once every few seconds… for the last few minutes. But I never could go through with it, just as I was about to give up and walk back to our room… the door opened.

"Uhh…."

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked.

"Waiting to grow big enough balls to knock." I admitted.

"Are you coming in or not?" He asked stepping aside.

I didn't answer but walked into the room. He shut the door roughly and I looked at the floor, twisting my hands together. He crossed his arms and huffed.

"I don't have time to just stand around Emily. If you wanna talk let's talk."

"… I'm sorry I hid it from you."

"Are you really? Or are you just sorry that you got caught?"

"No, Jud… It's Dean. You know how I am when it comes to him and Sam. I don't think rationally. I just do whatever it takes to keep them safe.

"And I'm trying to keep you safe!"

"I know that!"

"Then why the hell do you fight me on it!"

"I don't know!"

"Well I fucking hate it!"

"Well I fucking hate when you're mad at me!"

"Well then stop keeping shit from me!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

We had taken one step forward with each time we yelled, and now he was so close that his breath was on my mouth. Every nerve I had was on fire, I wanted him, right here in the fucking floor if I had to. I reached up to kiss him, but he pulled back.

"Judddd." I whined. "Stop being mad at me! I said I was sorry."

"I know."

"Then fucking kiss me you idiot." I said as I leaned forward again. This time he let his lips meet mine and, and dammit it was like being struck by lightning. I hate the fight, but I love the making up…

….

Judson and I laid on the bed, catching our breath. Trying to have mind blowing sex but also stay quiet enough so that my brothers next door can't hear is a tricky situation, but so worth it.

He rolled over and hovered over me, his fingers tracing the bruise on my sternum, it was tender, but he was careful not to apply any pressure. Then he bent down and kissed it, as if It would make everything better.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too… that's the only reason I get mad you know?"

"I know."

"Emily, don't hide this from me… If you're hurt then I want to know. I want to help."

"There was nothing for you to do, and I didn't want you to get mad at Dean. It wasn't his fault."

"I know that, but I still could have protected you. I could have stayed with him."

"I didn't want to be away from him… you and I both know nothing was going to change my mind of that."

"I know." He sighed, kissing down my stomach. I moaned at the way his hair rubbed the spot between my breasts. "Man I'm gonna miss you."

"Miss me?"

"Yeah. I was actually on my way out… I gotta call from a buddy. He needs help on a case and I owe him a favor."

"Well… should I go with you?" I asked.

"Nah, it won't take long. You guys pick up a case and I'll meet back up with you."

"I don't want you to go." I pouted.

"Well I don't necessarily want to go, but I owe him."

"When are you leaving?"

"As soon as you go next door."

"Well then I guess I'll have to stay here all night." I smiled.

"As long as you do it naked." He said nipping at my bottom lip.

"I'm down." I smiled.

He laughed but lifted off of me, standing and pulling on sweatpants.

"I guess that's a no." I frowned.

"I told him I'd be there by morning."

"You're gonna drive all night, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'll stock up on caffeine. Promise." He said as I stood from the bed and hugged him tightly. My bare chest against his, his heat against mine. I honestly do love this man, I don't know where I'd be without him.

"Sure you don't want me to go?" I asked one more time before letting go.

"No babe, I'll be back as soon as I can be. I promise."

I dressed and kissed him goodbye in the parking lot before heading back into our room. The boys were both in bed and there was a salt line at the door already. I jumped into the shower and got ready for bed. Once I walked back out I double checked the door locks and then climbed into bed, kicking Dean's legs off my side as I did. He grumbled as he stirred awake.

"Hey." He groaned.

"Hey. Move your giant legs."

"You two work it out?"

"Yeah." I whispered. "He had to go repay a favor for someone on a case. Said he'd meet up with us when he was done."

"He left?" Dean asked checking my reaction for any signs of upset.

"Yeah, but we worked it out before he went, so it's all good."

"Okay, night kiddo." He said as he lazily tossed an arm over me.

"Night De."

…

"Now how many razor blades did they find?" Sam asked the grieving widow.

"Two on the floor, one in his stomach and one was stuck in his throat. He swallowed four of them. How is that even possible?" She responded, speaking through the tears. She turned as she noticed Dean pulling open the oven. "The candy was never in the oven."

"We just have to be thorough, Mrs. Wallace." Dean answered kindly.

"Did the police find any razors in the rest of the candy?" I asked her to get her back on point.

"No, I mean, I don't think so. I just – I can't believe it. You hear urban legends about this stuff, but it actually happens?"

"More than you might imagine." Sam answered.

Just then Dean reentered the room from searching the rest of the house and had a hex bag in his hand, he lifted it slightly as he walked up behind Mrs. Wallace… my stomach dropped. Witches.

Sam sighed and looked back at Mrs. Wallace.

"Mrs. Wallace, did Luke have any enemies?"

"Enemies?"

"Anyone who might have held a grudge against him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Co-workers? Neighbors? Maybe a woman." Sam asked hesitantly. You could watch the moment it clicked in her head what Sam was hinting to.

"Are you suggesting an affair?" She asked as her eyes narrowed.

"Is it possible?" I asked.

"No! No, Luke would nev–"

"I'm very sorry. We just have to consider all possibilities."

"If someone wanted to kill my husband, don't you think they'd find a better way than a razor in a piece of candy he might eat?"

With that we wrapped up our questions and quickly made our way out of the house and back to the impala.

"Witches." I sighed shaking my head.

"You good to take this case Em?" Sam asked me from the front seat.

"Yeah. I'll be fine… kinda wish Judson hadn't left."

"Well see how close he is to wrapping up his thing."

"Okay."

I pulled out my phone and started typing.

Emily: How's the case?

I had to wait a few minutes before the phone buzzed again and I looked down to find his reply.

Judson: There have been a few complications. Shouldn't be more than a couple of days though. Yours?

Emily: Witches…

Judson: Are you okay?

Emily: Yeah, I'll be fine. Just hurry back.

Judson: I'll be there as soon as I can be babe.

We made it back to the room where Sam started dissecting the hex bag to find out what's in it and who could have possibly made it. Dean walked in through the door with a bag full of candy that he promptly sat down on the couch and began eating.

"Really? After that guy choked down all those razor blades?" Sam asked him.

"It's Halloween, man." Dean shrugged.

"Every day is Halloween for us De." I reminded him. He shrugged again and offered me some candy, I waived him off and walked over to Sam. "Anything interesting in there?"

"Well, we're on a witch hunt, that's for sure, but this isn't your typical hex bag… Goldthread, an herb that's been extinct for two hundred years. And this small silver piece is Celtic, and I don't mean some new age knock-off. It looks like the real deal, like 600 years old real."

"What is this?" I said picking up a something small and black.

"Um… that is the charred metacarpal bone of a newborn baby."

I instantly dropped it as my face sank.

"Ughh." Dean shuddered.

"Relax Em, it's like, at least a hundred years old."

"Oh, right, like that makes it better?" I scoffed.

"Witches, man, they're so friggin' skeevy." Dean said walking up to us.

"Yeah, well it takes a pretty powerful one to put a bag like this together. More juice than we've ever dealt with, that's for sure. What about you? Find anything on the victim?"

"This Luke Wallace? He was so vanilla that he made vanilla seem spicy." Dean sighed. "I can't find any reason why somebody would want this guy dead."

"Well there's gotta be something… we're just not looking in the right place." I said leaning over the hex bag contents. "This one kinda scares me."

"It'll be fine Em, we'll get em like we always do." Sam said as he swung his arm behind me.

"Yeah." I sighed.

….

We walked into what was the aftermath of a party gone wrong. Girls in slutty costumes everywhere, crying. Drunken jocks whose parents were being called to come and pick them up, and last but not least the cheerleader that had been boiled to death.

"Have you been drinking?" A cop asked the primary witness, she held herself as she shivered. Her mini skirt and bikini top costume didn't cover much.

"Yes." She confessed.

Sam moved towards them but Dean stops him.

"I got this one." Dean winked.

"She's as old as I am." I said patting his back as he walked away, he turned and shot me a disgusted look. I smiled knowing I ruined his fun, Sam sighed and shook his head at us.

"All these kids go to the local highschool?" I asked.

"Looks like… if we find a connection we may need to send you in." Sam suggested.

"Ew… please don't."

"We'll see where it goes."

"Let's just look for this damn bag." I sighed as we started rummaging around. It didn't take us long to make it to the couch and pull up a couch cushion, revealing a hex bag just like the one at the Wallace's home. Sam lifted it towards Dean and he nodded.

"Well. Looks like we don't have to hang around jailbait any longer." I said as Sam and I began making our way back outside, letting Dean finish clearing the scene.

….

"I'm telling you, both these vics are squeaky clean. There is no reason for a wicked bitch payback." I sighed as Sam asked what we had come up with.

"Maybe cause it's not about that." Sam suggested.

"Wow, insightful." I said with an eye roll. Dean popped me in the back of the head for my attitude.

"Maybe this witch isn't working the grudge, maybe they're working a spell. Check this out." Sam lifted a book. "Three blood sacrifices over three days, the last before midnight on the final day of the final harvest. Celtic Calendar, the final day of the final harvest is October 31st."

"Halloween."

"Exactly."

"What exactly are the, uh, blood sacrifices for?" I asked.

"Uh, if I'm right, this witch is summoning a demon, and not just any demon – Samhain."

"Am I supposed to be impressed?" Dean asked.

"De, Samhain is the damn origin of Halloween." I said popping him in the back of the head.

"The Celts believe that October 31st was the one night of the year when the veil was the thinnest between the living and the dead, and it was Samhain's night. I mean, masks were put on to hide from him, sweets left on doorsteps to appease him, faces carved into pumpkins to worship him. He was exorcised centuries ago." Sam explained.

"So even though Samhain took a trip downstairs, the tradition stuck."

"Fear controls people." I shrugged.

"Exactly, only now instead of demons and blood orgies Halloween is all about kids, candy and costumes. It just evolved over time."

"Okay, so some witch wants to raise Samhain and take back the night?" Dean said with an unamused tone.

"Dean, this is serious." I scoffed. "Witches this powerful raising a demon THAT powerful… this could get really bad really fast."

"Yeah. We're talking heavyweight witchcraft. This ritual can only be performed every six hundred years." Sam added.

"I am being serious, when does this six hundred year marker roll around?" Dean asked.

"Tomorrow night."

"Naturally." I said throwing my hands up in the air.

"Well it sure is a lot of death and destruction for one demon."

"That's because he likes company. Once he's raised, Samhain can do some raising of his own." Sam explained.

"Raising what, exactly?"

"Dark, evil crap and lots of it, I mean, they follow him around like the friggin' Pied Piper."

"So we're talking ghosts?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Zombies?" Dean asked with bright wide eyes.

"Mm-hmm."

"Leprechauns?"

"Dean." Sam scalded.

"Those little dudes are scary. Small hands."

"Look, it just starts with ghosts and ghouls, this sucker keeps on going, by night's end we are talking every awful thing we have ever seen. Everything we fight, all in one place."

"It's gonna be a slaughterhouse." I sighed as the sinking feeling in my gut rolled around. I really wished Judson was here for this one. Dean must have noticed my change in posture because he pulled me to lean against him on the couch.

"I'm fine De… I'm gonna go call Judson. Fill him in. See if he's making any progress."

"Okay. It might be nice to have his eyes and a nother set of hands." Sam nodded.

"Yeah. You're telling me."

I walked outside and perched against the trunk of the impala, dialing the familiar number. It rang three times before it picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

"How's it going on yalls end?"

"Um… you first."

"Uh, I can't really talk about it right now Em… Its just. Taking some time."

"Oh." I said, an odd feeling rolling around in my stomach.

"What about yours?"

"Um. It's not good. These are some old school witches… doing a ritual to raise Samhain, this chance only comes once every 600 years and they're trying to take it."

"Damn. Samhain?"

"Yeah. It's kinda freaking me out."

"Well do you guys have any leads yet?

"No. Not really. We can't find the link between the vics yet either."

"You guys will pick something up, you always do."

"I wish you were here Jud."

"I wish I was too Em, you have no idea how bad."

"What are you guys hunting?"

"Um, a shapeshifter I think."

"Okay. Well make sure you stock up on silver bullets."

"I did Em, I'm good."

"Well I guess I'll let you get back to it then."

"Yeah, I'll call you tomorrow babe. Love you."

"Love you, bye."

I hung up the phone and slid it back in my pocket. The air outside had an on edge feel to it, as if nature knows something evil is coming. The longer I thought about it the more uneasy I felt, so I shook my head and went back inside.

"So how's Judson?"

"Tied up… shapeshifter."

"Well. I guess its just us then." Dean smiled.

"Yeah, I'm gonna jump in the shower."

"Stop worrying so much kiddo, we'll figure it out."

"I know." I nodded with a fake smile.

….

Sam and I were on the couch doing some research while Dean was out looking for a lead, but I feel like I've read the same paragraph six times now. My mind is unfocused, my stomach is in knots, and every time I sigh Sam looks at me with pity on his face.

I huffed and closed the book in front of me, then I laid back and rested against Sam's leg.

"What's up kiddo?"

"Why is this job so hard?"

"It's just one of the tough ones Em. You know we'll figure it though."

"What if we don't?"

"We have to."

"Sammy… can I ask you a question."

"Sure, Em."

"When you used your, abilities or whatever, how did it make you feel?"

"Uh, why are you asking that?" Sam said pushing my hair back to get a good look at my face.

"Sometimes it's really hard to hold them back, sometimes it… it feels nice to let it go. To be fully who I am, and just… stop holding back. But. I don't want to be a bad person… and sometimes it makes me feel like a bad person. But then… we have cases like this, and its something really really bad. And it makes me wonder if times like these are WHY I have abilities. I don't know. I'm just in my head right now."

And I don't have Judson here to pull me out of it.

Sam stared at me for a moment, then opened his mouth but closed it again.

"Emily, you are not a bad person, no matter how you feel or what you do with your abilities. There is something dark in you, in us. Very dark. And it just speaks to how tough you are, that you don't let it overtake you. Em. I fell short of that, I ran off, and left you… and gave into something I shouldn't have. And yeah. I still struggle every day with it, but when an angel tells you that you gotta stop doing something, it puts it into perspective. So it doesn't matter how it makes me feel… it just matters that I put it behind me. For you it may different, very different. We just don't know yet."

"Sammy… It scares me."

"It scared me too at first, but. You just learn how to control it, and about the good it can be used for."

"Why do you think the angels want you to stop if you're just using it to send Demons back to hell?"

"I don't know Em… I wish I knew."

"I don't understand why they know enough about your situation to want to stop it and no one knows anything about mine."

"I don't know sweetheart… we'll just. Ride it out."

Suddenly the phone rang and I sat up to grab it.

"Hey De, how's it going?"

"Awesome, yeah, I talked with Mrs. Razor Blade again. I've been sitting out in front of her house for hours and I've got a big steamy pile of nothing."

"Look Dean, someone planted those hex bags, someone with access to both houses. There's gotta be some connection." Sam said leaning over to talk in the phone.

"Yeah, well I hope we find 'em soon cause I'm starting to cramp like a …. Son of a bitch."

"Stop bitching." I groaned.

"No, Em, I mean, son of a bitch!"

"What?"

"I'll tell you when I get there, heading back now." Dean said before shutting the phone.

"That was weird?" I said to Sam.

"Maybe he's got a lead…"

We waited a total of 5 minutes before Dean came bursting through the door.

"Tracy! Tracy is the babysitter for the Wallace family!"

"What? The cheerleader?" I asked.

"Mm-hmm. She told me she never even heard of Luke Wallace."

"Huh, interesting look for a centuries-old witch." Sam shrugged.

"Yeah, well, if you were a six-hundred-year-old hag and you could pick any costume to come back in, wouldn't you go for a hot cheerleader? I would, hmm…" Dean Smiled.

"Your gross." I smiled back.

"Well, Tracy's not as wholesome as she looks. Did some digging – apparently she got into a violent altercation with one of her teachers, got suspended from school." Sam said turning his laptop towards us.

"Well lets go pay this teacher a visit." I smiled.

"Whoa… not so fast kiddo. I don't want you rolling with us incase we need you to go undercover. We can't tell him we're the cops and then have him get you as a new student, It would throw the case. We might still need you."

"Ughhh… please don't make me go back to highschool."

"We'll play it by ear, let us go meet this guy first."

"So what am I supposed to do in the mean time?"

"Take a nap, chill out?" Dean shrugged.

"You're not funny."

"And you're not amusing either De." I said as I crossed my arms.

"Emily please." Sam sighed. "Just stay here incase we need you to go undercover. I promise you we won't make you unless we absolutely have to. Okay?"

"Fine." I said sitting back down on the couch pouting.

"Why don't you call the boy toy?" Dean suggested as they walked out the door.

"Yeah… good question. Seeing as how he was supposed to call me today." I sighed to myself as I picked up my phone. I dialed his number, it rang, and rang some more… but then it went to voicemail.

I dropped the phone back down on the couch and laid back, staring at the ceiling. The ceiling fan swung around slowly, I stared at it… focused on it, and suddenly it went slower and slower. Until it froze all together, the motor still ticking as it tried to force the blades to move, but they stood still.

Then they began to pull in the opposite direction, slowly at first, then faster, and faster, and faster.

Knocking at the door spooked me and as my concentration broke so did the fan, the lights in the center bursting.

"Mother fucker!" I said climbing off the couch with my gun. I wandered over to the door and peeked outside, it was a kid in an astronaut costume.

I opened the door confused.

"Trick or treat." He said.

"Dude, its still daylight outside. And this is a motel?"

"So? I want candy."

"Well I don't have any candy." I told him.

He stood there and stared at me expressionless, as if candy would magically appear if he stood there long enough.

"Beat it kid… no candy." I finally said annoyed. He gave me a disgruntled look and moved on. I shut the door and moved to lay on the bed. Closing my eyes and praying sleep would overtake me.

…..

The bed was empty, warm, and I didn't want to wake up. But something inside me had stirred. I stretched and yawned, cuddling into the pillow, my eyes opened slowly.

But then I jumped back against the headboard as they opened a man stood in front of me.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to scare you." Castiel nodded.

"Who the hell is that?!" I asked pointing to the man standing by the window, he turned and looked at me in disgust. Making me feel small.

Just then the front door began to unlock and in came Sam, gun raised as he took in the situation before him.

"Who are you?!" Sam yelled.

"Sam! Sam, wait! It's Castiel." Dean said grabbing his arm. I instantly climbed out of the bed and moved to stand with my brothers as Dean closed the door behind him. He met Sam's confused look. "The angel… him I don't know." He said as he also looked to the man by the window.

"Hello, Sam." Castiel said looking to him, Sam's face fell in awe.

"Oh my God – er – uh – I didn't mean to – sorry. It's an honor, really, I – I've heard a lot about you." Sam said stepping forward to shake his hand, but Castiel only looked down at it confused. Sam shook his hand slightly, and then Castiel understood the intended gesture, shaking Sam's hand.

"And I, you. Sam Winchester – The boy with the demon blood. Glad to see you've ceased your extracurricular activities."

Sam's face fell, but he tried hard not to show it. Only someone he knew him his entire life could have caught the slight change.

"Let's keep it that way." The man at the window said, still not facing us. When he spoke his voice was deep and condescending. It was very clear that he was not impressed or amused to be in our presence.

"Yeah, okay, chuckles." Dean responded in the same tone. Making it clear that we had a mutual understanding. Then he turned to Castiel. "Who's your friend?"

"This the raising of Samhain, have you stopped it?" Castiel asked.

"Why?"

"Dean, have you located the witch?"

"Yes, we've located the witch."

"And is the witch dead?"

"No, but –" Sam started.

"We know who it is." Dean finished for him.

"Apparently the witch knows who you are too." Castiel said as he raised a hex bag up from the bed I was just laying in.

"Wait… why didn't that work on me? I was just sleeping there?"

"We don't know." The man in the window answered.

"If we hadn't found it, surely one or all of you with the possible exception of Emily would be dead. Do you know where the witch is now?" Castiel asked.

"We're working on it." Dean answered.

"That's unfortunate."

"What do you care?"

"The raising of Samhain is one of the 66 seals."

"So this is about your buddy Lucifer?" Dean asked. Instantly my stomach churned. The same Lucifer that someone is trying to set free… the same Lucifer who's blood runs through my veins.

"Lucifer is no friend of ours." The man at the window turned and said to us with a stern face.

"It's just an expression." I told him.

"Lucifer cannot rise. The breaking of the seal must be prevented at all costs." Castiel continued.

"Okay, great, well now that you're here, why don't you tell us where the witch is, we'll gank her and everybody goes home." I said stepping forward.

"We are not omniscient. This witch is very powerful, she's cloaked even our methods."

"Okay, well we already know who she is, so if we work together –"

"Enough of this." The darker angel interrupted me.

"I'm sorry, who the fuck are you?"

Dean pulled me back by my shoulder as I stepped towards him.

"This is Uriel, he's what you might call a… specialist." Castiel explained.

"What kind of specialist? What are you gonna do?" Dean asked.

"You – uh, all of you – you need to leave this town immediately." Castiel warned us.

"Why?"

"Because we're about to destroy it."

"So this is your plan, you're gonna smite the whole friggin' town?"

"We're out of time. This witch has to die, the seal must be saved."

"There are a thousand people here." Sam said.

"One thousand two hundred fourteen." Uriel corrected.

"And you're just willing to kill them all?" I asked.

"This isn't the first time I've… purified a city."

"A specialist huh?" I scoffed. "More like a dic-

"Emily, stop." Sam said cutting me off.

"Look, I understand this is regrettable." Castiel said stepping towards us.

"Regrettable?" Dean asked.

"We have to hold the line. Too many seals have broken already."

"So you screw the pooch on some seals and this town has to pay the price?"

"It's the lives of one thousand against the lives of six billion. There's a bigger picture here."

"Right, cause you're bigger picture kind of guys."

"Lucifer cannot rise. He does and hell rises with him. Is that something that you're willing to risk?"

"We'll stop this witch before she summons anyone. Your seal won't be broken and no one has to die." I said pulling away from Sam.

"We're wasting time with these mud monkeys." Uriel groaned.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" I asked turning to him.

"I didn't not stutter child."

"I'm not fucking child, and I don't appreciate the attitude."

"Watch who you speak to like that girl." Uriel warned as lighting struck outside the window and thunder boomed above us.

"You don't scare me." I replied, letting the ground beneath us tremble.

"Enough." Castiel interrupted sternly. "I'm sorry, but we have our orders."

"No, you can't do this, you're angels, I mean aren't you supposed to – You're supposed to show mercy." Sam asked.

"Says who?" Uriel mocked.

"We have no choice." Castiel answered with a hint of sadness behind it.

"Of course you have a choice. I mean, come on, what? You've never questioned a crap order, huh? What are you both, just a couple of hammers?" Dean asked.

"Look, even if you can't understand it, have faith. The plan is just."

"How can you even say that?" Sam asked.

"Because it comes from heaven, that makes it just."

"Oh, it must be nice, to be so sure of yourselves." Dean replied shaking his head.

"Tell me something, Dean, when your father gave you an order, didn't you obey?"

Dean stared at him for a moment before replying.

"Well sorry boys, looks like the plans have changed."

"You think you can stop us?" Uriel asked. I moved to say something, but Dean pulled me behind him and stepped forward to stand toe to toe with Uriel.

"No, but if you're gonna smite this whole town, then you're gonna have to smite us with it, because we are not leaving. See, you went to the trouble of busting me out of hell. I figure I'm worth something to the man upstairs. So you wanna waste me, go ahead, see how he digs that."

"I will drag you out of here myself." Uriel replied.

"Over my dead body." I corrected him. He looked at me and chuckled. "I mean, come on, you're gonna wipe out a whole town for one little witch. Sounds to me like you're compensating for something."

Uriel stared at me as Dean turned back to Castiel.

"We can do this. We will find that witch and we will stop the summoning."

"Castiel! I will not let these peop–" Uriel began to raise his voice.

"Enough!" Castiel said raising his hand to Uriel but facing us. "I suggest you move quickly."

And just like that they were both gone in the blink of an eye.

"What the hell was that?" Dean said turning to face me.

"What?!"

"Why are you picking fights with angels! Emily we don't know the limits of their powers! And those assholes will kill you with no hesitation just like they're doing the rest of this damn town if we don't move our asses!"

"I'm not going to be bullied by some asshole just because he has wings!"

"Let's go! Now." Dean said pushing me towards the door. Once we opened it we found the impala with eggs smashed onto the windshield.

"Dammit! Little fucking astronaut!" I groaned as I went back inside to get something to clean it with. Dean shook his head at me and didn't even ask.

Once the impala was cleaned up we climbed in and hit the road.

"What is it Sam?" Dean asked. Up until now I hadn't noticed the look on his face.

"Nothing… I thought they'd be different.

"Who, the angels?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I tried to tell ya."

"I just… I mean, I thought they'd be righteous."

"Well, they are righteous, I mean, that's kinda the problem. Of course there's nothing more dangerous than some a-hole who thinks he's on a holy mission."

"But, I mean, this is God? And Heaven? This is what I've been praying to?"

"Look man, I know you're into the whole God thing, you know, Jesus on a tortilla and stuff like that. But just because there's a couple of bad apples doesn't mean the whole barrel's rotten. I mean, for all we know, God hates these jerks. Don't give up on this stuff, is all I'm saying. Babe Ruth was a dick but baseball's still a beautiful game."

"Castiel isn't so bad when he's alone." I added.

Sam didn't reply, instead he continued to fiddle with the things inside the hex bag.

"Well, are you gonna figure out a way to find this witch, or are you just gonna sit there fingering your bone?" I asked him. Dean chuckled.

"You know how much heat it would take to char a bone like this?"

"No." I shrugged.

"A lot, I mean, more than a fire or some kitchen oven."

"Okay, Betty Crocker, what does that mean?" Dean asked.

"It means we make a stop at the school."

Once inside the highschool Sam led us into the art room, where I assume they visited earlier that day. He walked over to a large kiln, then to a desk in the front of the room.

"So Tracy used the kiln to char the bone, what's the big deal?" I asked confused.

"Dean, that hex bag turned up in our room, not after we talked to Tracy –" Sam said looking past me.

"After we talked to the teacher." Dean finished.

"My God, those are all from children." Sam said reaching into the desk drawer and pulling out charred bones.

"And I'm guessing he's not saving them for the dog."

…..

Once we made it to Don's address we noticed all of the lights were turned off, and kids passing by trick or treating were oblivious to us picking the lock at the front door. Once inside we scoped out the first floor, and then found the door to the basement open. We took the steps one a time, quietly. Once we were halfway down we could clearly see Tracy tied up and hanging from the ceiling, a man, who I assume to be Don reading off some kind of incantation.

Dean motioned for Sam and I to go left while he swung right. Don raised a knife to stab tracy and Dean fired three times, dropping Don to the ground. Sam and I moved to Tracy, untying her ropes and dropping her to the ground gently.

"Thank you, he was gonna kill me! Ugh, that sick son of a bitch. I mean, did you see what he was doing? Did you hear him? How sloppy his incantation was?" Tracy began to speak. Sam, Dean and I all swapped glances… something is very wrong. "My brother." Tracy sighed. We all moved back and drew our weapons. He was always was a little dim."

Then she threw her hand up in the air and all three of us flew backwards, dropping to the ground, writhing in pain. I screamed as the piercing sound hit my ears.

"He was gonna make me the final sacrifice, his idea, but now, that honor goes to him. Our master's return? The spellwork's a two man job you understand, so for six hundred years I had to deal with that pompous son of a bitch. Planning, preparing, unbearable." Tracy kneeled by Don's body and picked up the knife and the chalice. The piercing sound began to dim, and I could focus on Tracy. I tried to trigger my abilities, but every time I did my head felt like it was going to explode.

"The whole time I wanted to rip his face off." She dug the knife into Don's bullet wound and filled the chalice with blood. I looked up to Sam and Dean who were both writhing in pain still, clutching their stomachs. "And you get him with a gun, uh, love that."

"Leave them alone!" I yelled to her, but she rolled her eyes at me and moved back to the altar table. I tried to stand, but when I did the pain struck me again. I tried to focus on her like I did the ceiling fan, but no matter what I did the sensation that my head would explode just kept coming back.

"It's called a reversal spell darling. Anything you try to do to me will only be felt by you. So please, give yourself a break." She said as she smiled. "You know, back in the day, this was the one day you kept your children inside. Well tonight you'll all see what Halloween really is."

Tracy begins to read off another incantation, Sam reached out to me and pulled me towards Dean and himself, then he dipped his hand in blood and smeared it all over his face.

"What are you doing?" Dean asked through gritted teeth.

"Just follow my lead." He said wiping blood along my face and Dean's as well. I moved closer to him, hiding my face, only watching with one eye as the ground cracked and black smoke poured out of it and into Don's body.

Great… another seal broken. I can picture that smug ass angel rubbing it in my face. But more importantly, it's Sam-fucking-hain. And that means trouble. My stomach was in knots as he opened his eyes. I quickly shut mine, listening.

"My love." Tracy cooed.

"You've aged." He replied… what a dick.

"This face… I can't fool you."

"Your beauty is beyond time."

There was a moment of silence, then there was the snapping of bones and the sound of a body hitting the floor.

"Whore." Samhain mumbled. He sniffed the air, and then slowly walked up the steps and out of the basement, shutting the door behind him.

Once he was gone I sat up and began gasping for air, unaware that I had been holding it.

"Shhh… we're okay." Sam said pulling me against him.

"What the hell was that?" Dean whisper yelled.

"Halloween lore. People used to wear masks to hide from him, so I gave it a shot."

"You gave it a shot?!" Dean asked shocked.

"Can we please just get the blood off of my face!" I asked panicked. Being around witches and being covered in blood was bringing back too many memories to want to deal with for right now… we had bigger problems. Dean used the bottom of his shirt to wipe the majority of it off my face, then his own. Then we busted ass out of the house and back to the impala.

"Where the hell are we gonna find this mook?" Dean asked.

"Where would you go to raise other dark forces of the night?"

"The cemetery." I gulped.

"Yeah."

I sat in the backseat, trying to take deep breaths. My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I pulled it out and answered it.

"Jud?"

"Em baby what's wrong?"

"Nothing… I'm. I'm fine." I said trying to put together a sentence.

"Don't lie to me Em… what's happening?"

"Um.. the witch. She. She raised Samhain, and there was a spell, and my head… its just throbbing." I looked up and met Dean's worried eyes in the rearview mirror.

"I'm on my way to you right now babe. Okay? Just take a deep breath. What are you doing now?"

"We're going after him."

"Okay. Well call if I can do something to help form my end, okay?"

"Okay." I sighed.

"Hey. Deep breath Em. You'll be okay. I'm coming baby."

"Hurry." I mumbled before hanging up the phone.

"Here kiddo." Sam said turning around and handing me a few aspirin for my head.

"So what kind of spell was that?"

"She said it was a reversal spell… I kept trying to focus on her but every time I did it made me feel like my head was going to explode."

"So that's what you do to other people?" Dean asked.

"I don't know… I just know it hurts. A lot."

"Take those kiddo, they'll help." Sam said as he turned back around. "So this demon's pretty powerful."

"Yeah."

"Might take more than the usual weapons."

"Sam, no, you're not using your psychic whatever."

"Well… Emily is kinda unable to at the moment. I don't want her trying again, I don't know how long the spells gonna affect her."

"Don't even think about it. Ruby's knife is enough." Dean told him sternly.

"Why?"

"Well because the angels said so for one –"

"I thought you said they were a bunch of fanatics."

"Well they happen to be right about this one."

"I don't know, Dean, it doesn't seem like they're right about much."

"Please stop arguing…" I asked. "I think I'll be fine now that Tracy is dead. I'll take him out of the knife isn't enough."

"No! Dammit. Forget the angels! Both of you- these, these powers are like playing with fire! I'm not putting either of you in that position tonight or any night. Got it?!"

"But Dea-"

"Please. Just don't." He asked. I sighed and sat back, watching as Sam hesitantly took the knife from Dean.

We hauled ass to the cemetery and once there scouted it out on foot. We kept coming up empty handed until we heard the screaming.

"Dean." I called out.

"Yeah, I hear it… this way!"

We ran over to the noise and found a bunch of kids locked into part of the mausoleum. There were zombies trying to drag them out of the corner they were stuffed into.

"Help them." Sam commanded as he moved to go further into the building.

"Dude, you're not going off alone." Dean argued.

"Do it! Emily help him!"

Sam took off running and I turned to Dean frustrated as I began to pick the lock, he was shooting at the zombies breaking free of their resting places in the walls, once I got the lock free I ripped the door open and told them all to run.

"Go on, come on, get out, move!" Dean yelled. After they all rushed past us we went in and Dean began fighting zombie after zombie.

"Bring it on, stinky." He called as he wrestled one to the ground.

"Dean! Come on… we gotta help Sam!"

"We gotta stop these ones from getting out! Get me a fire going somewhere!"

"How the hell am I supposed to do that!

"The lanters! The candles! Something!" He said as he moved to kill two more of them. I ran where several of the candles were set up in the hallway, then I grabbed some curtain hanging from one of the rooms in the mausoleum and dug out some gasoline that we use to burn corpses with. I made a makeshift torch and ran it back to Dean. He used it to set the remaining zombies on fire.

"Done now zombie hunter?"

"Party pooper." He said as he moved to run past me. We ran until we found Sam. When we did… We stood frozen. Samhain stood in front of us with his back turned, black smoke pouring out of his face. Sam stood in front of him, arm raised… blood dripping out of his nose. He looked to us. But kept going until Samhain had been exorcized.

His body dropped to the floor, which is where Sam's eyes followed… but then he looked up to us. Conflict in his eyes. I looked up to Dean, who's face was broken, but his eyes held the slightest bit of fear. I reached down and linked his hand in mine.

"Dean… let's just go. We don't need to do this right now."

He pulled his hand from mine and walked out back towards the impala. I stood there, looking at Sam.

"Em. I had to do it. I didn't have another choice."

"Sammy, I don't wanna talk about it…"

"Emily! Please. You are the only other person who could possibly understand! This had to be done, please tell me you understand that!"

"Sam.. I. I don't know what to say right now… I just. Want to get out of here. Please."

He looked down, his eyes glossing over.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. Walking towards him. He nodded and swung his arm over me, walking us out to meet Dean in the car.

…..

I had stayed up and sat in this chair for three hours. None of us had said much of anything to each other since we got back. We all showered, dressed for bed, but when Judson texted saying he was only a few hours away I couldn't fall asleep. I wanted him to be here so badly.

I wanted him to hold me.

Kiss me.

Make me forget all of these stupid things.

"Another seal broken." A voice called from behind me. Causing me to jump. I turned to find Uriel standing in the room, the only light illuminating him was the light from the window I had been staring out. I looked over to Sam and Dean who were still sleeping peacefully. "I assure you they will not wake. I thought maybe you and I should have a little chat."

"What the hell do you want?" I asked him as I stood.

"I want you to know your place."

"My place?"

"Yes, you pathetic small girl… your place is on borrowed time. You only remain to exist in the small chance you can be useful to us. The heavens do not want you. The hell dwellwers do not want you. The world does not want you."

"You don't know what you're talking about! Where is Castiel?!"

"Castiel is busying cleaning up YOUR mess right now. You three failed miserably, as I knew you all would. Ask yourself this question. Are you truly doing the world any favors? Or are you plaguing it with your foul attempts at controlling the evil that walks among it."

"You don't know anything about us!"

"Oh but I do… I know about the people you've killed. The people who you tortured. The demons that you obliterated. I know all about you Emily Anne Winchester. And I must say I'm unimpressed."

"Ditto." I growled.

"Don't tempt me to smite you where you stand you weak ape. You are dangerous and stand to ruin our plans for the one useful member of your family."

"You leave Dean alone!"

"He can be used, but you and that abomination you call Sammy will only be in our way."

"Fuck you!" I yelled, staring past the tears that blurred my vision.

"I'm just making sure you know that you are expendable, at best. A risk I'm not willing to take. So don't tempt me to spare myself and this planet the trouble of you… it would be my pleasure. Stay. Out. Of. Our. Way."

Lightning struck and suddenly he was gone. I stood in the room and wrapped my arms around myself. Just then headlights pulled up outside and lit up the room. I took in a deep breath and ripped open the front door. Running out to where Judson climbed out of the truck.

"Jud." I whined as I jumped into his arms.

"Oh baby… I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't here." He said as he squeezed me. I cried into his shoulder. Overwhelmed by this entire night and the words Uriel spoke. I just wanted him to make it all go away.

"I… I can't be here anymore." I cried.

"Shhh… baby it's okay. It's okay I'm here now."

I continued to cry on him, he just held me patiently. Waiting for me to calm down. When I did he went and got the room right next to ours, then he walked us inside and laid us down in the bed.

"What's wrong Em?" He whispered as he reached up and wiped my cheek.

"The angels." I mumbled.

"What angels?" He asked confused.

"Castiel, and this other one… Uriel." I sniffled.

"What did they do Em?"

"They said I didn't matter."

"What? Why would they say that?!"

"Uriel… He. He said that I just stand in the way of them being able to use Dean." I cried. "That I'm not wanted by Heaven, or hell, or anyone."

"Emily you can't listen to that… he doesn't know what he's talking about." Judson said as he pulled me against his chest.

"He's a fucking angel Judson! He, he takes orders from God himself!... What if they're right… what If I just stand in the way. What If I just fuck things up for everyone else."

"Emily stop."

"We, we let Samhain loose… he got out and the seal is broken, and Lucifer is that much closer from being busted out of his cage."

"Emily you three are just human. You can't be expected to do miracles or stop things like that every single time. But all three of you go above and beyond to protect others, and that can't be ignored. Don't let them get to you like that. They don't matter, okay? YOU matter. YOU are wanted. Don't forget that."

"I just want to forget about all of this." I sighed. "How was your case?"

"It was fine… no big deal."

"I'm glad you're back."

"I'm glad I'm back too." He said as he pinned my hair behind my ear. "I missed you so much."

"Not as much as I missed you… it was a rough case. I wish you were here for it."

"I wish I was too babe, but I had to go."

"I know… just don't do it again."

"I'll try my best not to."

"Judson… do you think I'm dangerous?"

"No baby. I don't. I think you're letting someone get into your head. You can't do that. You're better than that."

"I'm scared Judson. This is the devil we're talking about… we can't let him get out."

"I know Em." He sighed. "Trust me. I know."


	73. Chapter 73

Author's note: Hey there, I'm still alive! Still writing! Slowly but surely… it's been a crazy hectic life lately. Between holidays, finals, rescuing a puppy, making our other dog not hate us for rescuing a puppy, hosting parties, extra shifts for shopping, and the list goes on… I hope you are all well and still with me on this story. I promise there are some big things coming very quickly, and I'm so sorry for the slow pace lately. I hope I can pick it up guys, I really do. I love you all and appreciate the support and kindness you all show me! Please read and REVIEW. I MISS YOU GUYS. I miss hearing from you all. Love yall!

"It just doesn't make any sense, Dean. I mean, why would Uriel tell me you remembered Hell if you didn't?" Sam asked for the fifth time since we were sat at the table. I sighed, staring at the wood grain table in front of me.

"Maybe because he's a dick. Might have something to do with it. I mean I don't know why the hell he came talking to you anyways."

I didn't either… I can only imagine what he said to Sam after our little conversation. The conversation I refused to let Judson tell my brothers about. The same conversation I've been thinking about the last two days… the same conversation that put this rock in my gut that I can't seem to stop feeling.

"Maybe, but he's still an angel."

"Yeah, an angel who was ready to level an entire town. Look, I don't know what –"

"Radical. What else can I get you guys?" The overly cheerful waiter came by and interrupted.

"Uh, I think we're good." Judson smiled politely.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"You want to try a couple of fryer bombs? Or a chipotle chili changa?"

"No, no, we're – we're still good." Dean answered getting slightly annoyed.

"Okay, awesome" The waiter smiled as he walked away.

"Sam, honestly, I have no idea why Uriel told you what he did, okay?" Dean said lifting his drink to his mouth.

"Right." Sam scoffed.

"What?"

"Okay. Fine. Then look me in the eye and tell me you don't remember a thing from your time down under."

"Sam! Just drop it… I'm tired of listening to this same conversation. Uriel is a fucking dick! He's fucking with us okay?" I finally snapped, pushing my eyes back to the grain on the table again when I finished.

Sam sighed and sat back in his chair. Dean kicked me under the table making me look up to him, questions on his face. I could hear it without him speaking 'whats wrong' 'you've been in a mood lately' 'do we need to talk' etc etc… I just shook my head softly and pushed on a fake smile, then went back to picking at some fries.

"So he didn't say anything to you?" Sam then asked me.

"No. Sam, for the fourth time he did not talk to me… just you." I answered without looking up.

"You've just been-"

"Outstanding. Dessert time? Huh? Am I right?" The waiter came over and intervened again.

"Dude." Dean said exasperated.

"Listen. You have got to try our ice cream extreme. It's extreme"

"Uh, no extremities, please. Just the –" Judson started.

"Check? All right, awesome."

"I'm going to punch him." Dean said as he walked away.

"All right, so, where do we go from here?" Judson asked, swapping topics and getting the focus off my ill mood.

"I'm not sure. Uh, looks like it's been pretty quiet lately. No signs of demon activity, no omens or portents I can see." Sam answered.

"That's good news for once." Dean added.

"Yeah, just the typical smattering of crank UFO sightings and one possible vengeful spirit. Here, check this out. Uh... Up in Concrete, Washington, eyewitness reports of a ghost that's been haunting the showers of a women's health facility." Dean began choking on his drink as Sam mentioned women's showers. "The victim claims that the ghost threw her down a flight of stairs. I can see you're very interested."

"Women, showers. We got to save these people." He said suddenly in a hurry.

We paid the bill and made our way out to the car, while walking across the parking lot Dean grabbed the back of my shirt and tugged, I looked back and he nodded his head to the side, motioning for me to fall back. I let go of Judson and slowed my pace to walk along side Dean.

"Whats up with you kiddo? You haven't been yourself the last couple of days."

"I just don't feel good, De. Got a cold or something I guess." I tried to lie.

"Emily." He said stopping us and pulling me to face him. Then he bent down and put his eyes level with mine. "You suck at lying to me."

"Dean. You suck at reading me."

"Now I KNOW you're lying, to yourself and me."

"De, please. I just don't. There are things you don't want to talk about, and there are things I don't want to talk about. Can we just leave it at that?"

"No."

"Why?" I sighed.

"Because I'm worried about you."

"Dean. Don't be, I'm fine. I'm just bummed about the last case, okay?"

He stared at me for a moment.

"You sure no dark angles came knocking on your door in the middle of the night?"

"No." I lied. He squinted his eyes and I was having a hard time telling if he believed me or not. But he nodded and pulled me in for a small hug, then walked us back to the car. I slid in the backseat with Judson and he opened his arms for me. I laid down and fell asleep quickly.

…..

We were waiting outside for Sam and Judson to finish interviewing the shower victim. I was shocked when Dean allowed him to first crack at it. Dean and I waited on the steps, skimming the local paper, some article about a local winning the lottery. Wouldn't that be nice.

"Well, you pick up anything?" Sam asked as they came down the steps.

"No EMF in the shower or anywhere else. This house is clean." Dean answered.

"Yeah. I'm not surprised. I kind of got the feeling back there that crazy pushed Mrs. Armstrong down the stairs."

"I got to tell you, I'm pretty disappointed." Dean sighed.

"You wanted to save naked women." I mocked.

"Damn right I wanted to save some naked women."

I chuckled as we walked, a bunch of kids running past us, chasing someone.

"Run, Forrest, run!" Dean yelled as they blew past.

"Sorry, Dean, but I don't think anything's going on around here." I shrugged.

"Hey… wait." Judson said stopping and tipping his head towards a man arguing on the pier with a cop.

"How the hell was I supposed to get a look at it? It grabbed me from behind and threw me into a tree!" The man yelled.

"Something's going on." Judson suggested.

"Yeah, okay, Gus. I understand you got shook up. Anyone would be. But don't you think it – Don't you think it had to be a bear?" The cop replied.

"I know a damn bear track when I see one! This thing didn't leave bear tracks! Its feet were huge!"

"Now, Gus..."

"It was Bigfoot, Hal – The Bigfoot!"

"Oh no fucking way." I laughed slightly.

"Excuse us. FBI." Sam said as he and Dean walked over, I hung back with Judson and tried to just listen.

….

"What the hell's going on in this town? First there's a ghost that's not real, and now a Bigfoot sighting?" Dean asked as we walked through the woods where the man claimed to see big foot.

"Well, every hunter worth his salt knows Bigfoot's a hoax." Judson argued.

"Well, maybe somebody's pumping LSD into the town water supply."

"Uhh… were we exposed to LSD or are those feet print?" I asked as I stopped us and pointed down. There were HUGE foot prints in the mud, bigger than any I've ever seen.

"Okay. What do you suppose made that?" Sam asked to Judson.

"That, uh... is a big foot." Dean said bending down to examine it.

"Where do they go?" I asked noticing that they continue through the woods. We walked until they led us to a liquor store that had been clearly broken into.

"So, what – Bigfoot breaks into a liquor store, jonesing for some hooch? Amaretto and Irish cream. He's a girl-drink drunk." Dean asks as he picks up the empty bottles off the ground.

"Hey. Check this out." Sam called, we followed him over to where there used to be a rack of porn mags.

"He took the whole porno rack? Well, I'll say it again. What the hell is going on in this town?" Dean asked.

"I don't understand… why does bigfoot need booze and porn?" I questioned.

"Uh, cause he's a man?" Dean answered with a 'duh' tone. I shot him the best bitch face I could manage.

"Well, lets split up see if we can pick up more tracks." Sam suggested.

Judson and I split from my brothers and tried to find another trail around the back of the building.

"Em, when are you gonna tell them?"

"Tell them what?"

"About Uriel? They're getting really suspicious."

"I'm not. I told you it would only make shit worse."

"Em, you are so far in your head right now I don't know how to get you out…"

"I'll be fine Jud! Just… I just need some time."

He sighed but dropped it for now… I knew it wouldn't last long, and I could almost bet money that as soon as I leave him alone with either of my brothers he'll spill his guts. But what can I do? Barricade him away from them? Be more suspicious?

I just… want to stop causing more trouble than I'm worth.

"I got nothing." Dean said as we wrapped around the building and met with him and Sam again.

"It's got to be a joke, right? Some big-ass mother in a gorilla suit?" Judson shrugged.

"Or it's a Bigfoot. You know, and he's some kind of a alcoholo-porno addict. Kind of like a deep-woods Duchovny." Dean answered, just then a girl on a bike passed us with a cart full of porn mags, one falling from to the ground as he passed us.

"A little young for busty Asian beauties." Dean said as he picked it up.

"Well… let's see where she's going."

We followed her and watched as she returned several bottles of alcohol and the stack of magazines into the store, taping a piece of paper that said 'sorry' on it to the back door. We continued to follow her until she got home.

"Okay… who's knocking?" I asked.

"What's this, like a "Harry and the Hendersons" deal?" Sam asked.

"I don't know, lets find out." Dean said as he knocked.

"Hello?" The little girl answered the door.

"Hello! Um, could we... You know what? Are your parents home?" Sam asked.

"Nope."

"No. Um... Have you seen a really, really furry..." Sam started.

"Is he in trouble?" The little girl asked with doe eyes.

"No, no, no. Not at all." Sam chuckled. "We just – We wanted to make sure he was okay."

"He's my teddy bear. I think he's sick."

"Your teddy bear?" I asked for clarification She nodded. "Well. That is amazing, cause we uh… we're teddy bear doctors, and I'm the teddy bear nurse!" I smiled.

"Really? Can you please take a look at him?"

"Sure." I smiled.

She opened the door and we followed her inside.

"He's in my bedroom. He's pretty grumpy." She warned. Then she knocked on a door down the hall. "Teddy? There's some nice doctors here to see you."

With no reply she opened the door and revealed a giant teddy bear laying on the bed drinking a bottle of whiskey, crying, and watching TV.

"Close the friggin' door!" It turned and yelled, I turned to Judson in shock as the little girl shut the door. His face mimicked mine.

"See what I mean?"

"Uh, yeah." I nodded.

"All I ever wanted was a teddy which was big, real, and talked. But now he's sad all the time – not "ouch" sad, but ouch-in-the-head sad – says weird stuff, and smells like the bus."

"Sweetie. How exactly did your teddy become real?" Sam asked her.

"My name is Audrey. I wished for it."

"You wished for it?"

"At the wishing well."

Dean pushed the door back open and I leaned my head in again.

"Look at this. You believe this crap?" The teddy bear asked pointing to the news on the TV.

"Not really." I gulped.

"It is a terrible world. Why am I here?!"

"For tea parties!" The little girl shouted.

"Tea parties? Is that all there is?"

"Um. We should talk." I suggested.

"Sweetie, give us a second, okay? Okay." Sam told the little girl as we stepped away.

"Are we... Should we... Uh, are we gonna kill this teddy bear?" I asked.

"How? Do we shoot it, burn it?" Dean asked.

"I don't know. Both?" Sam shrugged.

"How do we even know that's gonna work? I don't want some giant, flaming, pissed-off teddy on our hands." I added.

"Yeah. Besides, I get the feeling that the bear isn't really the, you know, core problem here. Audrey. Where are your parents?"

"My mom wished they were in Bali, so I think they're in Bali."

"Okay, well... I'm really sorry to have to break this to you, but... your bear is sick. Yeah, he's – he's got..." Sam started.

"Lollipop disease." I finished for him.

"It's not uncommon for a bear his size. But, see, it's – it's really contagious." Sam continued.

"Yeah, so, is there – is there someone, maybe a grown-up, that you can stay with while we treat him?" I asked her.

"Mrs. Hurley lives down the street."

"Good, yeah, good. Uh, we'd like you to stay there for a few days, okay?"

"Okay."

"Oh, and, Audrey? Where is this wishing well?"

…..

We walked into the local Chinese restaurant that features one very odd fountain placed in the center of the dining room, a boy stood and threw in a coin, then he mumbled a few words and left.

"Think it works?" I asked leaning over to Judson.

"Got a better explanation for teddy back there?" He asked putting his arm around me.

"Well, there's one way to find out." Dean said stepping up and tossing in a quarter.

"What are you gonna wish for?" Sam asked.

"Shh! Not supposed to tell." Dean scalded him as he tossed it in. Suddenly the door chimed as it opened, and in walked a delivery guy that was obviously not from this restaurant.

"Somebody order a footlong Italian with jalapeño?" He asked.

"That'd be me." Dean smiled.

"No fucking way…" I said in shock.

I turned around to the fountain and stared at it, thinking about what it could mean for me, for us… if this shit is really real, then one wish could change things.

"Hey, lets get a table." Dean said walking over, I followed reluctantly.

(THIRD PERSON POV)

"I think it works, dude. That was pretty specific." Dean said as he took a large bite out of his sand which.

"The teddy bear, the sandwich..." Sam sighed.

"Mm. I'm guessing this." Dean said turning the newspaper to show the article about the lottery winner.

"I'm guessing that." Judson said pointing to the engagement announcement beside it.

"Well, that definitely goes on the list. What are we supposed to do, huh? Stop people's wishes from coming true? I mean, it sounds like kind of a douche-y thing to do." Dean shrugged.

"Yeah, maybe. But come on, man. When has something like this ever come without a price tag? And usually a deadly one." Sam warned.

"I don't know. It's a damn good sandwich."

Sam shot him an annoyed expression.

"All right. Fine. We'll put a hold on the wishing till we figure out what's going on."

"Uh, gentlemen, gentlemen. I'm sorry. We don't allow people to eat outside food here." A waiter came over and interrupted.

Dean and Sam initiated their lie of being with the health department to shut the town off from the well until they could figure out more details, but Judson was watching Emily. She stared at the well from the moment they sat at the table, not saying a word. Just staring.

He worried about what was going through her head, and at that moment he decided that her brothers had to know about Emily's conversation with Uriel. It had affected her somewhere deep, put her on a constant thought of self doubt. Judson worried what this would turn into if he didn't intervene soon.

Before he realized what was happening the restaurant began to empty out. He stood and pulled Emily's attention as well. She stood and he linked his hand in hers.

Dean tossed Sam a coin. Sam hesitated.

"Oh, come on. Aren't you a little bit tempted?" Dean asked him.

"No." Sam chuckled. "Wouldn't be real. I wouldn't trust it."

"I don't know. That bear seemed pretty real." Emily sighed.

"Yeah."

"Come on, if you could wish yourself back, you know, before it all started... Think about it. You'd be some big yuppie lawyer with a nice car and a white picket fence." Dean told him.

"Not what I'd wish for."

"Seriously?"

"It's too late to go back to our old lives, Dean. I'm not that guy anymore."

"All right, well, what, then? Hmm? What would Sammy wish for?"

"Lilith's head on a plate. Bloody."

All three of them turned to look up to Sam, while he stared into the water. Emily contemplated Sam's wish… something similar to her own. She would wish for Lillith to be dead. For Dean to have never gone to hell. For Sam never to have died. For herself to never have these powers… never be in the way.

"Okay. What is that?" Dean said leaning down.

"Some kind of old coin. I don't recognize the markings."

"Damn." Dean groaned as he reached in to grab it but it was stuck to the bottom.

"Lift with your legs." Sam mocked.

"Is that little mother welded on there? Huh."

"I'll get the crow bar." Emily sighed walking out to the impala.

Once she was out the door Judson turned to Sam and Dean.

"Hey uh, we need to talk tonight. After Em goes to sleep… okay?"

"Why what's up?" Sam asked concerned.

"She doesn't want me to tell you. She'll be pissed… just. Come get me when she galls asleep."

"Alright." Dean nodded.

Emily walked back in and the three men tried to seem as uninterested in her as possible, but they all watched her carefully as she handed her brother the crow bar, and a hammer.

Dean tries to pry it free from the bottom with no luck, then he positions the bar and slams the hammer down, the coin didn't budge.

"Damn!" He yelled as he caught his hand with the hammer.

"Coin's magical." Judson said bending down to take a closer look.

"Boy, I'd say. I think it's hoodoo that's protecting the well. I don't think we can destroy this."

Sam proceeded to drain the water out of the fountain, and trace the coin and its pattern.

"Here, you guys go look into this." He said handing it to Dean.

"Where you going?"

"Something just occurred to me." He said as he walked out the door.

"Well… I guess we get to do the research this time. Yall ready?"

"Yeah." Judson nodded.

Emily continued to stare into the well as it filled back up with water.

"Em." Dean called out, but she didn't respond.

"Emily." He called again, this time she jumped and turned towards him.

"Yeah, yeah… sorry. Let's go."

"You sure you're good kiddo?"

"Yeah. Just tired is all."

"C'mon. Let's go back to the room." He said reaching out and pulling Emily under his arm.

He had been concerned about her behavior the last couple of days but now he was really worried, anxious for night to fall so that he could find out what was really going on with her. Find out what happened that could have set her off in such a way that she pulled back from them all. What does the kid know that he doesn't? And why…

(Emily's POV)

Sam came in the door just as Dean began another round of puking. I sat next to him and wiped his face with a damp cloth.

"Dean? You all right?" Sam asked coming around the corner.

"The wishes turn bad, Sam. The wishes turn very bad." Dean grumbled.

"Here De, take a drink." I said handing him some ginger ale.

"The sandwich, huh?"

"The coin was Babylonian. It's cursed. I found some fragments of a legend. The, uh... the serpent is Tiamat, which is the, uh, Babylonian god of primordial chaos. I guess their, uh, priests were working some serious black magic." Dean explained trying not to puke the entire time.

"They made the coin?"

"Yeah, to sow the seeds of chaos. Whoever tosses a coin in the wishing well, makes a wish, it turns on the well. Then it starts granting wishes to all comers." I added.

"But the wishes get twisted. You ask for a talking teddy..."

"You get a bipolar nut job. " Dean answered.

"And you get E. coli." I smiled.

"Mm. This thing has turned more than one town upside down over the centuries. It's even wiped a few off the map. I mean, one person gets their wish, it's trouble, but everybody gets their wish... "

"It's chaos."

"Any way to stop it?" Sam asked.

"Yeah. One way. We got to find the first wisher. Whoever dropped the coin in and made the first wish, they're the only ones who can pull it back out and reverse the wishes. So for now, we've got a couple of nutso dreams come true, but once the word gets out about the well, things are just gonna get crazier and crazier."

"So tomorrow we track down the first wisher."

"Yep."

"So where's Judson?"

"I sent him to the store to pick up some soup." I said.

"Okay, well. Let's get some sleep… you look like you could use it Em. I'll get him from here."

"You sure?"

"Yeah sweetheart, get some sleep. I'll keep an eye on him."

"Get some rest De." I said kissing his forehead, he hugged me briefly before I stood and walked away. I changed clothes and slid into the bed. Truth is I was exhausted. All I could think about was that stupid well… about what it is I'd wish for.

About it's consequences. Would it make it worse? Make it better?

All I wanna do is make things better… I wanna fix it.

….

(THIRD PERSON POV)

Judson came through the door of the motel and found Emily asleep on the bed, then he found Sam at the table and Dean leaned against the bathroom door.

"Still feel like shit?" He asked as he set the bag of soup down next to Dean.

"Mmhm." Dean grumbled.

"She's asleep." Sam interrupted them. "If you want to talk we need to do it now before she wakes up."

"Right." Judson sighed. "Look. I know you guys picked up on the fact that she's been acting weird."

"Yeah?" Dean said standing, pushing his nausea aside and focusing on the conversation.

"She lied… Uriel came to her while you two were sleeping. The night I came back from that hunt… she's a wreck."

"What?! What did he say to her?"

"Dean! Shut up before you wake her up!" Sam scalded.

"He told her something about being in the way, that they were trying to get to you and that her and Sam were obstacles to that, and that she wasn't wanted by the angels or the demons, and that she's not wanted by anyone pretty much. I don't know why but she just can't shake it… she feels like she's a nuisance."

"Dammit…" Sam sighed. "We've been down this road before. He must have just drug up some old insecurities. And her abilities are finally calming down, but I know they still bother her."

"I swear I'm going to rip his damn lungs out." Dean growled as the thought of Uriel crossed his mind.

"Well before we do that, not that I'm against it, we need to snap her out of it… she was staring at that fountain the entire time we were there today. She's going to try something."

"She wouldn't." Dean argued.

"Oh you don't think she'd wish to go back? Stop Sam from dying or you from going to hell? I guarantee you it's on her mind. I guarantee you she's planning something."

"No… she knows these things have consequences. She wouldn't be so stupid. I mean yeah sure… she sends us back in time but who the hell knows what's going to go wrong in all that! She wouldn't risk it."

"Well regardless on whether or not you do or don't think she'll do anything… we still gotta talk to her Dean. She's been so distant lately, now we know why." Sam interrupted them again.

"If you just attack her with this she'll flip. She'll know I told you and she'll feel outnumbered. You gotta get her to tell you."

"Oh and how the hell are we gonna do that?"

"Dean. You've known her for her entire life, if anyone is going to do that then it's going to be you."

Dean rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair as he paced. It angered him to no end that he couldn't kill Uriel with his bare hands right then and there where he stood. He wanted Uriel to suffer for causing Emily pain.

"Well we can't do anything while she's asleep. So just let me sleep on it. Figure this shit out." Dean finally sighed. "I'm beat anyways."

"Alright, I'll see you guys in the morning. Keep an eye on her."

"Yeah, yeah. We got her Romeo."

….

(Emily's POV)

There was shuffling in the bed next to me. Tossing and turning of some sort. I slowly woke up to find Dean sweaty and mumbling in his sleep.

"Sammy." I called out, finding him sitting at a table watching.

"Yeah Em, I know."

"We gotta wake him up."

"He's lying Em."

"So what… Sammy. Let him have this one thing to himself. At least till he's ready. Please."

Sam rolled his eyes. I leaned over and began to nudge Dean's shoulder.

"Dean, wake up."

"What? I'm up. What?" He jumped.

"Sleep well?" Sam asked before I could answer.

"Yeah. Tan, rested, and ready."

"Dean, come on, man. You think I can't see it?"

"See what?"

"The nightmares, the drinking. We're with you 24/7. We know something's going on."

"Sam please…" I interrupted.

"Uriel wasn't lying, but you are. You remember Hell, don't you?"

"What do you want from me, huh? What?" Dean stood and asked.

"The truth, Dean. I mean, I'm your brother. I, I just wish you'd talk to me."

"Yeah well… we're not the Brady bunch. We don't talk about everything Sammy."

"Cute." Sam said rolling his eyes.

"Come on, can we stow the couples therapy, huh? We're on a job. I want to work. What do you got? Please?"

"We got teddy bear, uh, lottery guy, invisible pervert guy. They all must have wished sometime in the last two weeks. But who wished first, and how are we supposed to know who else wished for what when?"

"Well, it helps when they announce it in the paper. Goes back a month."

"Wesley Mondale and Ms. Hope Lynn Casey have announced their surprise engagement."

"Ah, true love." I sighed.

"Best lead we got." Sam shrugged.

"So that's where we'll pick up in the morning. Can we all go to sleep now? Sam?"

"Fine."

"Night Sammy." I said as he finally left the table and moved towards his bed.

"Night Em."

I waited till the lights were off to roll over and bump Dean with my elbow.

"Hm." He mumbled.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah kiddo. I'm good."

"Are you sure? Seems like that one was a doozy."

"Yeah." He said quietly. Detached.

"When are you going to tell him… or me?"

"I don't know yet."

"De, the longer you wait the harder it will be"

"Em, please don't do this."

I sighed, then I pushed over and laid against him, my head on his chest. Listening to the strong and steady beat of his heart. I remember laying on the floor, covered in blood begging to hear this sound again. His arm wrapped around me and the over whelming feeling of safety and comfort. The feeling I've had all my life.

Suddenly I had the urge to tell him. Tell him everything… about Uriel.

"De." I whispered.

"Yeah Em?"

"I…"

"Spit it out kiddo." He said gently, looking at me as if he knew.

My mouth opened, but I didn't know how to say it. How to start.

"I love you." I finally whispered, then I hid my face in the crook of his arm again and waited to fall asleep.

…..

"Morning." Judson said coming through the door with coffee in hand. I leaned up in bed and smiled at him briefly. He set down the coffees and walked over to kiss me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him in place as he tried to pull away.

Dean coughed to get our attention and break us apart as he pretended like he was just reading the paper. I let go of Judson who winked at me as he joined my brothers at the table. I stretched as I stood.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I asked.

"When you get dressed we're gonna go check out that lovey dovey couple who just got engaged."

"You guys really think that's who started all this?"

"Could be." Sam shrugged.

"Well. Let's go find out."

"When we get there we play this thing hardball." Dean added.

"What are we gonna do if it is him?"

"We're going to make him stop all this. It has to end."

"All of it?" I asked hesitantly. Dean looked up at my curiously.

"Yes, every wish has had consequences Em. Severe consequences. It's not worth it."

"What if it is worth it to some people. We just screw them over?"

"Em… where is this coming from?" Sam asked softly, staring at me… knowingly. Just like Dean did last night. I suddenly looked up to Judson, who's eyes were glued to the floor.

"Oh you son of a bitch." I muttered crossing my arms

"Emily." Judson sighed.

"I can't believe you told them."

"He didn't have to kiddo, we knew something was up. We knew you were keeping something from us. He just filled in the missing information." Sam said trying to defend him as he stood and walked towards me but I backed away.

"Emily how could you listen to that dick?!" Dean asked. "I mean after everything we've been through you STILL let someone like him in your head? What did I do wrong to give you such a low opinion of yourself?"

"Dean it's not even like that!"

"Well then enlighten me here Em! What the hell is it about?"

"You wouldn't understand, Dean."

"Wouldn't understand what!"

"You wouldn't understand what it's like to have this crap inside of you! To have no idea where your place is! I mean come on, he's right! The demons hate me, they want Sam… the angels hate me. They only want you!"

"So what Emily! Who cares, the angels, the demons, they're all a bag of dicks!"

"But they're important dicks Dean, they have power, and they take commands from God himself! Don't you think that could mean something that they don't want me alive? Don't you think that could spell bad news for us later down the road! I just… I just don't want them anymore. I need to get rid of them."

"Emily, they're a part of you. You can't just get rid of them. Trust me, kiddo. I know what you mean but… its part of what makes you the person you are." Sam interjected.

"Says the man who was supposed to lead an army. You had purpose, evil purpose but still purpose Sam. You weren't 'a risk' or 'an abomination' or some 'wild card' that keeps fucking everything up! I need to get rid of them, Sammy."

"You don't know what kind of consequences a wish like that would have." Judson added.

"So what we shouldn't even try then? I mean what if the consequence isn't that bad! I mean we could go back to before Sam died, and stop Jake. We could prevent my abilities from starting, prevent Dean from making his deal. I mean we are STUPID not to try!"

"Emily no! Do you not remember yesterday? The wishes go bad!" Dean groaned.

"Worse then you going to hell Dean?" I glared at him. "Worse then you and I sitting in that god forsaken cabin crying our eyes out over Sam's cold dead body for three days before you made your deal!"

"We are past that. We are all here, we are alive, and we agreed to start fresh. You can't do this, Em. It's like playing Russian roulette with all of our lives. I mean if none of that stuff ever happened then maybe you never met dumbass Romeo, maybe you never saved us all those times with your abilities, hell… maybe you die instead of Sam in that town with Jake. What then Emily?"

"Then at least I wouldn't be the problem. I wouldn't be in the way, causing chaos, putting myself in stupid situations." I argued, then I went to open my mouth and had to gather myself. "Then at least I wouldn't have to watch both of my brothers die right in front of my eyes." I responded softly before pushing past them all and out the front door.

"Emily!" Judson came chasing after me as I walked through the parking lot. "Em, please baby."

"I specifically asked you NOT to tell them Jud! What the hell?!"

"I couldn't let you do something that might get you or someone else hurt, I could see the wheels turning in your head ever since we found out about the fountain. I couldn't let you make this mistake."

"Judson this could fix so many things! You don't understand… you have only ever known me after Sam died, you have only ever seen me suffer! My life before Sam died wasn't the best, but it wasn't this hard. I want to go back to that."

"What about us… what about me? Would you have ever met me if life didn't happen the way it did? Would we be here now? Huh? What if going back means you and I never met."

I stared at him with guilt in my eyes. I had never thought about that. I had never considered that life without these complications would mean a life without Judson. I don't want to lose him… I can't lose him. He means so much to me.

"What about us baby?" He asked as he held my face. "I know shit has been really hard on you lately. I know you hurt, and I know you're scared. I know losing Sam and Dean killed little pieces of you too, and even though they came back those parts of you didn't, but Emily we're here now. All of us. Together. I don't want you to give that up."

"… I just want to feel like I belong somewhere, Jud." I whimpered.

"Baby you belong right here, with me. With Sam and Dean. Fuck Uriel, he doesn't know what he's talking about."

"What if the angels really hate me."

"Has Castiel ever given you any indication that you are hated by angels? Huh?" He said as he rubbed my cheek.

"No." I whispered.

"There are probably thousands of angels up there baby, don't let one make you feel like you don't matter."

I nodded softly and wrapped my arms around his neck, his arms wound around my torso and he reached down to lift my thighs, I took his hint and wrapped my legs around his waist. He carried me over to the impala and sat me on the trunk.

"No more pity party, okay? You let this thing go. Promise me?"

"I promise." I whispered.

….

Dean knocked on the door while Sam and Judson watched from the car.

"You sure you're good to work?" Dean asked.

"For the third and final time Dean, yes. I'm not going to do anything stupid."

"Better not." He grumbled just as the door opened, a bright young woman with brunette hair and a large smile opened the door.

"Hi there, we're from Floral Creation Center, Wes called us this afternoon and said you guys might want to look over some arrangements." I quickly said.

"Oh!" Her eyes went wide. "Yes yes please come in!"

We followed her into the door way and down the hall.

"Wes! You didn't tell me that you called the florists for the wedding." She cheered as we came around the corner to find a guy sitting in a recliner clearly confused.

"Huh?" He asked looking between Dean and I.

"You're the best! Mmm! Ah! I'm gonna go get my folders." The woman kissed him on the cheek before running up the stairs.

"Uh, o—Okay".

"Wesley, how's it going?" Dean asked.

"It's "Wes... ss." Aren't you the guys from the health department?"

"Yeah. And florists on the side." I smiled.

"Plus FBI. And on Thursdays, we're teddy bear doctors." Dean added.

"Huh?"

"Doesn't matter who we are. What matters is what we know."

"So, coin collector, huh, Wes?" I asked him as I pointed to the coin holders on the mantle.

"Oh. Yeah. My... grandfather gave them to me."

"Did you happen to lose one of those coins lately? And by "lose," I mean drop into a wishing well at Lucky Chin's and make a wish on it?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No, I – I don't know what you're, uh, talking about."

Just as Dean went to speak the woman came back down the stairs with folders and magazines in hand.

"Okay, now. I have a lot of ideas, but, you know, we don't have all the money in the world. Wes is between jobs right now. Means more time for me. You know, I'm thinking a Japanese-y ikebana kind of thing."

"Yes. I can see it." I smiled.

"Yeah. So, Hope, uh, tell us how you two lovebirds met." Dean asked.

"Oh, best day of my life."

"I bet."

"Yeah! It's the funniest thing. We both grew up here, but I never really knew who he was. Not by name anyway. Until one day last month, it was like I just… I just saw him for the first time. He was just... glowing. Oh, just glowing."

"Uh, babe, can you – can you get us some coffee?" Wes asked.

"Yes. Yeah." She rushed into the kitchen after kissing him over and over again. I kinda wanted to gag. I wonder if this is how Dean feels watching me kiss Judson?

"Wes, we know. So tell us the truth." Dean asked straight out.

"My – my grandfather found the coin in north Africa, you know, World War II. And, uh, he brought it back. He, um, he said it was a real wish-granting coin, but that nobody should ever use it. Um... It was all I had, and when he died, I thought, Well, you know what? Why not give the coin a shot?"

"Yeah, well, now you're gonna wish it back."

"Oh. Ha ha, no, I'm not."

"If you don't stop it, something bad's gonna happen." I tried to warn him.

"Something bad. Like us." Dean enforced.

"We really wish you'd come with us." I smiled.

….

"I don't get it. So, my wish came true. Why does that have to be a bad thing?" Wes asked form the backseat next to Judson. I sat between both my brothers in the front rolling my eyes.

"Because the wishes go south, Wes. Your town is going insane." Sam told him.

"Come on. You're gonna sit there and tell me that your relationship with Hope is functional, that it's what you wished for?" Dean asked him.

"I wished she would love me more than anything."

"Yeah, and, uh, how is that going? That seem healthy to you?"

"Well, it's a hell of a lot better than when she didn't know I was alive."

"You're not supposed to get what you want, man, not like this. Nobody is. That's what the coin does. It takes your heart's desires and it twists it back on you. You hear of the whole, uh, be careful what you wish for?" Judson asked him.

"Careful what you wish for." Wes mocked him. "You know who says that? Good-looking jerks like you guys, the ones who've got it so easy because you happen to be handsome."

"Easy?" I turned around and asked him.

"Yeah. Women like you look at men like them. You notice them. Women never notice me."

"Believe us, we do not have it easy." Sam corrected him.

"We are miserable. We never get what we want. In fact, we have to fight tooth and nail just to keep whatever it is we got." Dean added. "But you know what? Maybe that's the whole point, Wes."

"Yeah, people are people 'cause they're miserable bastards, 'cause they never get what they really want." Sam shrugged.

"Right, yeah, you get what you want, you get crazy." Judson sighed, winking at me.

"Take a look at Michael Jackson, hmm? Or Hasselhoff." I warned.

"You know what? Hope loves me now – completely. And it's awesome. Besides, look around. Where's all this, uh, insanity you guys were talking about?" Wes asked.

Just then as we pulled up to the stop sign we spotted the young boy who was being bullied yesterday rocking a vehicle back and forth with his bullies inside crying for help.

"Well, that should cover it." I sighed.

"Kneel before Todd! Kneel before Todd!" The kid screamed.

"I'll handle Todd. You get Wes to Lucky Chin's. Go!" Sam said jumping out of the car. Dean punched the gas and we kept going.

…..

(Third Person POV)

"That – that – that kid turned over that car like – like it was nothing." Wes mumbled.

"You should have seen the teddy bear. Now, come on. Fun's over. Time to pull the coin." Dean said as they pulled up and parked in front of the restaurant.

"Well, why can't we just get what we want?!" Wes pleaded one more time.

"Because that's life, Wes." Emily sighed stepping ahead of the three men, just before she was suddenly struck by lightning.

"EMILY!" Judson screamed as her body collapsed to the ground.

"Em!" Dean said shoving him to the side to shake her, checking and finding no pulse.

"No no no no… c'mon babygirl! Wake up! Dammit Emily wake up!" Dean yelled as he started compressions.

"Wes! The coin! Go get it now!" Judson screamed at him, realizing it was the only way to save her.

"But, what if I lose her!"

"IF YOU DON'T DO THIS THEN I'M GOING TO LOSE HER!" Judson growled slamming him against the front door. "Now go!"

Judson watched in distress as Dean continued to force Emily's heart to pump blood throughout her body, it hurt to watch. It hurt to watch him do the exact same thing she did the day he died. To hurt like you've never hurt before.

Wes entered the restaurant and was surprised at who he found standing in front of the well.

"Hope?"

"I had to do it, didn't I? They were gonna make you wish away our love."

"You wished her dead?"

"I love you more than anything." She smiled.

"Stop saying that. Stop it!"

"But I do. More than anything. More than me. More than life. Oh, Wes. Don't hate me." She begged wrapping her arms around his neck.

Wes held her in his arms, and then glanced out the door, watching Dean bent on the ground crying. Begging for Emily to come back to life. But she laid there motionless. He saw the pain in his face, and then met eyes with Judson. There was something there that struck him, not only would he surely be murdered if he didn't make this right, but he then realized that what he had wasn't really love.

It wasn't what he wanted. It was all wrong.

Wes reached down and pulled the coin from the fountain. The moment he did Hope's grip loosened slightly, then she slowly pulled back.

"Do I know you?" She asked before slowly backing away from him and running out the door.

Judson watched as Hope ran past them down the street, then he leaned down over Emily. Taking her face in his hands.

"Wake up baby… please wake up." He whispered. Dean kneeling beside him, tears staining his face as he tried to gather himself.

As if being struck by lightning a second time suddenly she flew upwards with wide eyes, the glass in the lamp posts above them shattered, and car alarms down the street began to yell loudly.

"Emily! Emily…" Dean begged as he shoved Judson aside again and held her against his shoulder, so tightly she had a hard time breathing, although that could be partially due to the potentially cracked rib she had from the strength of Dean's compressions.

She coughed to catch her breath as she struggled to speak.

"What, what happened?"

"Wishes go bad Em… they go really bad." Dean sniffled, calming down once he realized she was okay. He rocked back and forth holding her, Judson silently waiting his turn to embrace her.

"Hey! What the hell happened?!" Sam asked running towards them.

"Too close for comfort." Is all Dean could say. Sam quickly realized how upset Dean was and knew it was better to ask him later.

…

(Emily's POV)

I finished showering and stepped out to towel dry my hair and get dressed, when I did I lingered in the mirror for a second to look for any bruising, there was the faint outline of one starting on my sternum, but I wasn't angry. I was thankful… thankful to be alive, thankful to have both of my brothers. Thankful to have Judson.

Thankful to have my life, because I was reminded just how quickly I could lose it all.

Watching Dean drive home with red-rimmed eyes hurt. Having him look back in the mirror once every ten seconds just to make sure I was still breathing hurt my heart. I suddenly felt selfish for even considering making a wish. For risking our lives.

But mostly I felt selfish because of the way Judson held me the entire car ride back to the motel. The strength in his grip when his arm reached all the way around my body and his hand landed on my ribs. The way he pressed his lips to my temple over, and over again, as if double checking to see that I was still alive, still warm. Heart still beating.

I opened the door and stepped out, setting my clothes down In the bag on the floor and meeting eyes with Sam. He smiled slightly and opened one arm. I walked over and sat on his knee.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. I'm uh. I'm good. A little sore, but good."

"Dean went to gas up the car, should be back in about ten minutes."

"He okay?"

"I don't know. He's still pretty shook up."

"We need to talk to him when he gets back."

"Yeah, we do." Sam sighed.

"Until then. I'm gonna step next door. Check on Judson."

"Okay kiddo, don't be long. Dean will get anxious."

"I know." I said before I kissed his cheek and stood, walking next door. I knocked softly.

"Hey." He said as he pulled the door open.

"Hi." I smiled.

"You scared the hell out of me today. You know that?" He asked pulling me in and closing the door behind us.

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry baby, it's not your fault… shit happens. I just. I thought I lost you Em." He said as he held me quietly.

"I'm sorry I was willing to risk us." I whispered. "I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay baby."

"I'm not going anywhere ya know?"

"I know… I just. Stay with me tonight."

"What about my brothers?"

"I don't care. I can't stand to have you out of my sight for another minute. Stay with me. Please."

"Okay." I whispered leaning in to kiss him.

…..

(Sam's POV)

My phone dinged just as Dean came through the door.

"Hey." I called out.

"Hey, where's Em."

"She just stepped next door… and she just texted saying she wants to stay over for a while."

"Okay." Dean nodded.

"Okay? That's it? … are you running a fever or something?"

"No. I uh… It's just been a long day. I don't want to fight with her."

"Dean. She's okay. I promise."

"I know Sammy… it's just. Man you didn't see it. She was literally a foot in front of me, and I couldn't protect her. Couldn't keep her safe."

"Dean. It was a magical fountain. Hope wished her dead, there was no stopping that. Just fixing it. Which you guys did."

"I know man… I just. I don't know." He said taking a large swig of whiskey. I sighed and sat back.

"You were right." He mumbled unexpectedly. I leaned forward.

"About what?"

"I shouldn't have lied to you. I do remember everything that happened to me in the Pit. Everything."

"So tell me about it."

"No."

"Does Emily know?"

"She knows that I remember. But I couldn't talk about it. Sam. I can't talk about it. I won't lie anymore but I'm not gonna talk about it."

"Dean, look, you can't just shoulder this thing alone. You got to let me help."

"How? Do you really think that a little heart-to-heart, some sharing and caring, is gonna change anything? Hmm? Somehow... heal me? I'm not talking about a bad day here."

"I know that."

"The things that I saw... there aren't words. There is no forgetting. There's no making it better. Because it is right here... [taps his head] forever. You wouldn't understand. And I could never make you understand. So I am sorry. But we're not talking about it… I'm going to bed. Tell Em goodnight for me."

I watched as he finished off the bottle and laid on the bed, eyes closed, headphones on, just like Emily does when she's avoiding us. I could see it weighing on him, I could feel curiosity burn in my gut. I just know he can't hold this in forever.


	74. Chapter 74

Author's note: Hey lovelies! There are some big things building up here! This is just the beginning of chaos of trouble on its way for Emily. I love you all and I'm sorry its been so long between updates! On the upside I've been getting ready for HOUSCON! Ahhh! So excited. I hope you guys will please READ and REVIEW! I have a lot of things in store for Emily soon that you don't want to miss! Love you all so much! Leave a review and let's chat! I miss hearing from you all!

It was a little after 4 in the morning when I snuck back into our room from Judson's. Sam was asleep in one bed, Dean was sprawled out on the other with a bottle of whiskey tipped over in the floor below his hand. I walked over and picked it up off the floor. Then I pushed Dean's legs back onto the bed, and pulled up the blankets. I sat down next to him, even passed out drunk I could see his pain.

I could see the way the wrinkles on his face deepened, even in his assumed silent sleep. Even at rest he looked burdened. I wish he would just talk to us… to anyone. Something as heavy as being in hell doesn't just go away. It scars you for life, but he can't move forward until he faces it. I know him well enough to at least know that.

I laid back and pondered what comes next for the Winchesters… a day off maybe?

We could use it. Just a day or two to regroup and ground ourselves again. A chance to put some things behind us, and refocus.

…

"Brian, come on, man, just one more. Just - just give me a chance to win it back." Sam slurred. I sat back on the barstool, leaning against the wall with Judson standing in front of me. My arms around his shoulders and leaning down to watch as Sam and Dean hustled these poor suckers.

"It's your cash." The man- Brian, shrugged.

"Excuse me. My brother's a little sauced to be making bets." Dean stepped in.

"He insisted."

"Yeah, but you've already taken, what, two bills off him? I'm just saying."

"Hey, shut up, Dean. I'm fine." Sam said as he purposely stumbled a step or two.

"No, you're not fine. You're drunk!" Dean yelled.

"They're good at this." Judson leaned back and whispered to me. I giggled.

"You oughta watch me give it a spin. Its twice as bed when they lose to a girl."

"Mmhmmm… I don't know if I like the idea of anyone but me playing with you." He mumbled as he rubbed his hands up and down my thighs, causing a breathy moan so quiet only he could hear it to escape my lips.

"Later baby." He winked as he went back to watch the match.

"Let's make it five hundred." Sam said throwing down a stack of cash.

"Five hundred?" Dean looked at him in wide eyes.

"Sure." Brian smiled laying down and equally large stack of cash. "Five hundred. Your break."

Sam breaks and sinks almost half the balls on the table, I grinned as I watched Brian's face fall. As Sam moved to line up his next shot his face changed quickly.

"Keep the money." He said and then dropped his pool stick, walking away from the table.

SAM puts his cue down on the pool table and walks towards RUBY.

"Keep the money? What?!" Dean shouted as Brian grabbed both stacks and moved on quickly.

"De what the hell?!" I shot up and asked. "Half of that was mine!"

"I don't know… Sam!" Dean called walking after him, I moved to follow, Judson hot on my tail.

"Oh fuck." Dean groaned as he stopped short of the bar, I stood next to him and my blood began to boil.

"What if the FUCK is she doing here?!"

"I'm fixing to find out." Dean said stomping forward.

"Hey." Sam said to Ruby just as Dean and I came up behind him.

"Well, you got a lot of nerve showing up anywhere near me." Dean warned.

"And me…" I added with narrowed eyes.

"Hush little girl. I just have some info, and then I'm gone." She narrowed her eyes back.

"Gone or dead, take your fucking pick."

"What is it?" Sam said pushing me aside. I went to push him back, but Judson held both of my arms and put his face against mine.

"I'm hearing a few whispers."

"Ooh, great, demon whisperers - that's reliable." Dean mocked.

"Girl named Anna Milton escaped from a locked ward yesterday. The demons seem pretty keen on finding her. Apparently, some real heavy hitters turned out for the Easter-egg hunt."

"Why? Who is she?" Sam asked.

"No idea. But I'm thinking that she's important, 'cause the order is to capture her alive. I just figured that whatever the deal is, you might want to find this girl before the demons do."

"Look, maybe we should check it out." Sam suggested turning to face us.

"Actually, we're working a case, but thanks." Dean fake smiled.

"What case?" Ruby challenged.

"Yours if you don't back off bitch." I pushed forward, pulling against Judson's grip.

"You wish princess."

"Shut it! We sure as hell ain't goose-chasing after some chick who, for all we know, doesn't even exist, just because you say she's important." Dean replied.

"I'm just delivering the news. You can do whatever you want with it. Far as I'm concerned, I told you, I'm done."

Ruby walked away, but not before Sam ran after her and caught her before she left out the door. I glared him down the entire 23 seconds he stood there, and his entire walk back. He met eyes with me and quickly diverted them.

"What the fuck Sam?!"

"What?"

"Are you still talking to Ruby?"

"No! I didn't ask her to show up here. She did it on her own."

"Maybe she'd quit showing up around you if you finally told her to fuck off once and for all!"

"Just because you hate her doesn't mean we can't use her to our advantage. This girl could be important. Like stopping the apocalypse important." Sam argued.

"Oh please! Get off your high horse Sam!"

"That's enough!" Dean interrupted us. "Funs over… let's go."

"Dean. We need to check this out, please. Just. Let me run the name." Sam pleaded.

…

I sat in the backseat of the impala. Stewing. Marinating in my anger and disgust for Sam's tolerance of the bitch. Why can't he she how horrible she really is. Why can't he see how twisted it is to make her an ally? Doesn't he know by now she's playing some kind of game with us?

I just wish I knew which one.

"Can I get a copy of the missing persons report? Great. Okay. Thanks." Sam said into the phone before hanging up. "Well, Anna Milton's definitely real."

"Don't mean the case is real. And this hospital's a three-day drive." Dean sighed.

"We've driven further for less, Dean."

Dean scoffed and shook his head.

"You got something to say, say it." Sam pushed.

"Oh, I'm saying it - this sucks."

"You're not pissed we're going after the girl. You're pissed Ruby threw us the tip."

"Right. 'Cause as far as you're concerned, the hell-bitch is practically family. Yeah, boy, something major must've happened while I downstairs, 'cause I come back, and - and you're BFF with a demon?"

"Dean, she helped me go after Lilith. That's all that was about."

"You mean after you ditched me?" I added.

"Hey." Dean called back. "We put that behind us. Fresh start. Remember?"

I shook my head, angry tears stinging the corners of my eyes. I crossed my arms and impatiently tapped my foot. I wanted nothing more than to get out of this car right now.

A hand rubbed my knee, but I jerked it away. I know he's just trying to be nice. I know he's just trying to help. But I don't want to be touched. I don't want to look at him. Talk to him. I don't want to talk about my feelings… I just want to be pissed.

"Thanks for the thumbnail, Sam - real vivid. You want to fill in a little detail?" Dean continued.

"Sure, Dean, let's trade stories. You first. How was Hell? Don't spare the details."

The car fell silent for a minute, and then Dean turned up the radio. The only thing worse than a pissy Winchester… was three pissy Winchesters.

It's gonna be a long fucking ride.

…

"Now, the orderly has no recollection of Anna's escape?" Sam asked.

"Apparently, she knocked him unconscious. The blow caused some amnesia. He doesn't even remember coming into her room."

"That's a hell of a right hook to knock out a guy that's got 80 pounds on her." I raised an eyebrow.

"We think she may have planned this, waited behind the door."

"Right. Uh, you mentioned Anna's illness was recent." Sam nodded.

"Two months ago, she was happy, well-adjusted, journalism major, lots of friends - Bright future."

"So, what happened - she just... flipped?" I asked.

"Well, that's the tragedy of schizophrenia. Within weeks, Anna was overtaken by delusions."

"What kind of delusions?"

"She thought demons were everywhere." The psychologist answered as he handed Sam a sketch book filled with horrible dark drawings.

"Wow." I mumbled.

"It's not uncommon for our patients to believe that monsters are real."

I began skimming through the sketch book, some of the pages had words.

'Raising of the Witnesses' and on the next page was 'Samhain the next seal is broken'… my stomach flopped. I looked up to Sam and exchanged a concerned look.

"That's Revelations." Sam pointed out softly to the doctor."

"Since when does the Book of Revelations have jack-o'-lanterns?" He chuckled.

"It's a, uh, it's a little-known translation." I tried to cover.

"Well, Anna's father was a church deacon. When she became ill, her paranoia took on religious overtones. She was convinced the devil was about to rise up and end the world. I hope you find her. It's dangerous for her to be out there alone right now."

"Yeah. We can see that." I sighed. "Thank you so much for your help. We'll be in touch."

The doctor shook our hands and then I quickly slid the sketchbook under my jacket as we walked out.

"Get it?" Sam asked once we were out of sight.

"Yep. Sam… how did she know about Samhain?"

"I don't know Em. But I don't think she's a schizo."

"Yeah. I agree, but why did all that stuff start all of a sudden? Two months ago?"

"I don't know. We'll find out I hope."

Once outside we met Dean and Judson in the car.

"Any trail?"

"Yeah. There's one over there that runs into the woods for a couple miles, but It comes out to a road and we lost it from there. No telling where she went."

"Great. Take a look at these." I said passing the book to him and Judson. They both flipped through it for a moment, stopping on the page about Samhain, Judson looked at me with shock. I shrugged softly.

"This is gonna be interesting." Judson mumbled.

"Yeah."

…

"Hello?" Dean called as he knocked for the fourth time on the Milton's front door.

"Maybe they're not home." Judson suggested.

"Both cars in the driveway." Sam pointed out.

Dean reached back down and tried to turn the knob, it was unlocked and the door pushed open. I pulled my gun as we entered slowly.

"Mr. And Mrs. Milton?" Dean called out.

"We're from the sheriff's department. We just wanted to ask you a couple of questions." Sam added as we came around the side of the entry way and into the living room where an older couple layed dead in the floor- throats cut.

"Oh my god…" I whispered as I turned back around and grabbed Judson's arm. "These poor people."

"They've been dead a few days…. Or more." Dean said as he leaned over them.

"Demons?" Judson asked.

"Sulfur." Sam nodded as he touched some powder on the floor beside them.

"The demons beat us here. Whatever the deal is with this Anna girl –" I started.

"Yeah, they want her. They're not screwing around. All right, so, I'm "Girl, Interrupted," and I know the score of the apocalypse, just busted out of the nut-box... Possibly using superpowers, by the way. Where do I go?" Dean asked picking up some mail off the table.

I walked over and looked at some photos on the mantle.

"Hey, you still have those sketches?" I asked Sam.

"Yeah?"

"Let me see 'em. Check this out." I pulled down the photo of her and her parents in a church with a large stained glass window, a few pages into the sketchbook was a drawing of the same window.

"She was drawing the window of her church." Dean concluded.

"Over and over." Sam said flipping through the book. "If you were religious, scared, and had demons on your ass, where would you go to feel safe?"

"Right. Church. Let's move. I'll call these in from the road." Dean said as he ushered us back out of the house.

….

We had covered the first floor of the church, plus the basement. Only thing left was the church attic. We moved slowly up the stairs, guns ready. Once we got to the top I noticed something move ever so slightly to my left. I held up my hand to stop everyone.

"Dean." I whispered, pointing to the subtle movement. He nodded. I tucked my gun back into my waist band.

"Anna?" I called out softly as I moved towards her. "We're not gonna hurt you. We're here to help. My name is Emily. These are my brothers Sam and Dean, and my boyfriend Judson."

"Emily?" She stepped out and asked. "Not Emily Winchester, right?"

"Uh, yeah." I answered cautiously. She looked relieved, then she looked to the boys.

"And you're Dean. The Dean?"

"Well, yeah. The Dean, I guess." Dean shrugged.

"It's really you. Oh, my god. The angels talk about you. You were in Hell, but Castiel pulled you out, and some of them think you can help save us. And some of them don't like you at all. They talk about you all the time lately. I feel like I know you."

"So, you talk to angels?" Judson asked her.

"Oh, no. No, no way. Um, they probably don't even know I exist. I just kind of... overhear them."

"You overhear them?" I asked skeptically.

"Yeah, they talk, and sometimes I just... hear them in my head."

"Like... right now?"

"Not right this second, but a lot. And I can't shut them out, there are so many of them."

"So, they lock you up with a case of the crazies when really you were just... tuning in to angel radio?" Dean asked.

"Yes. Thank you." She sighed with deep relief that someone finally understood her problem.

"Anna, when did the voices start? Do you remember?" Sam asked her.

"I can tell you exactly - September 18th."

"The day I got out of Hell." Dean said meeting eyes with me.

"First words I heard, clear as a bell - Dean Winchester is saved."

"Excuse us for a moment." I smiled. I walked over to Sam and Dean while Judson offered Anna some water.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"It's above my pay grade, Em. I don't know what to think." Sam answered.

"Well, at least now we know why the demons want you so bad." Dean turned and told her. "They get a hold of you, they can hear everything the other side's cooking. You're 1-900-angel." Dean smiled to her, she smiled in return.

"Hey, um, do you know - are my parents okay? I - I didn't go home. I was afraid." She suddenly asked.

"Oh." I mumbled quietly.

Suddenly someone rushes up the stairs and my least favorite Demon appears.

"You got the girl. Good, let's go." Ruby demanded.

"Her face!" Anna cried out in horror backing away.

"It's okay. She's here to help." Sam reassured her.

"Yeah, don't be so sure." I countered.

"We have to hurry!" Ruby rushed.

"Why?"

"Because a demon's coming - big-timer. We can fight later, Emmy Lou."

"Well, that's pretty convenient - showing up right when we find the girl with some bigwig on your tail?" Dean asked.

"I didn't bring him here. You did."

"What?"

"He followed you from the girl's house. We got to go now."

"Dean." Sam called, looking at the large angel statue in the room, who's eyes suddenly began to bleed.

"Well that's a new one." I muttered as Judson instantly moved in front of me, Dean and Sam beside me. Anna behind us.

"It's too late. He's here." Ruby trembled.

"Anna." I said grabbing her by the arm. "Hide! Don't come out until one of us get's you, okay?!" She nodded as I shut the closet door.

Sam pulled out a flask of holy water and Dean pulled the knife.

"No, Sam, you got to pull him right away." Ruby insisted.

"Whoa, hold on a sec." Dean interrupted.

"Now's not the time to bellyache about Sam going darkside. He does his thing, he exorcises that demon, or we die, do you understand that?!"

Before I had the chance to reply a man entered the room. He looked plain and simple from the outside, but the look in his eyes were dark and sinister. Pure evil. It made chills break out down my arms.

Sam drops the flask and moves forward to exorcise the demon, but nothing more than a gust of wind hits him and he laughs.

"That tickles. You don't have the juice to take me on, Sam." He said as he lifted one hand and threw Sam down the stairs.

"Sam!" I called out, but Judson held me back.

"My turn!" I growled as I reached out one hand. The ground beneath us rumbled and red haze began to swirl at his feet, moving up his body, but he laughed as it swirled around him. Annoyance and pain bouncing back and forth on his pain.

"I almost forgot what pain felt like my dear… It's quite annoying." He smiled as he waved his arm, causing my feet to leave the ground. I met the ground harshly, my shoulder slamming into a bookshelf.

"EMILY!" Judson rushed over to me.

"Hello again, Dean." The demon smiled, Dean's face scrunched in confusion.

Ruby moved towards the closet and I vaguely heard Anna scream as Ruby pulled her out and ran.

"Dammit! Go help Dean!" I demanded sitting up.

"Come on, Dean. Don't you recognize me? Oh, I forgot - I'm wearing a pediatrician. But we were so close... in Hell." The demon smiled as it picked Dean up by his shirt.

"Alastair." Dean growled.

Sam sprung up from behind Dean and stabbed Alistair with Ruby's knife, the both of them running backwards towards Judson and I, Dean pulled me up off the ground. We watched as Alistair pulled out the knife and dropped it on the ground.

"Dean. It's not working." I swallowed. But his eyes never left Alistair's.

"You're gonna have to try a whole lot harder than that, son." Alistair chuckled, as if the entire fight amused him. Sam grabbed my arm and pointed behind us ever so slightly with his head. I widened my eyes as I realized he wanted us to jump.

Dean nodded and pushed me backwards, a scream escaping my lips as the four of us jumped through the stained glass window.

I hit the ground with a crunch and a scream, my injured shoulder taking the blunt of the fall. I looked up to see Sam bleeding profusely, and Dean holding his arm. Judson limped as he stood, but pulled me and we all 'ran' as best we could to the impala.

…

We stumbled into the motel room. Sam rushed to the sink and pushed towels against his bleeding wound. Judson limped and half carried me over to the bed. Dean fell against the other one, still cradling his arm.

"Sam… I can stich you up. I just.. I gotta pop this back in." I moaned as I tried to lift my arm.

"I've already got it started, Em." He groaned as he doused it with alcohol and began to pull the needle through his skin. I turned to look at Judson who rolled his ankle in a circle, confirming only a sprain and no broken bones.

"Are you okay?" I asked him.

"Better than you." He said as he wiped my forehead, blood covered his hand. I didn't even realize I was bleeding. "Let's get this shoulder back in."

"Yeah. I'm next in line." Dean groaned as he laid backwards.

"Stand up Em." He said pulling me to my feet. I positioned myself against the wall, and he put a hand on either side of the joint. My nerves bounced and he began to count.

"Don't count! Just do i-AHHH!"

The popping noise combined with the sharp unexpected pain made me cry out. I let out a small sob after the joint was back in and I rolled the sore joint in a circle.

"You okay baby?"

"I'll live." I whined. "Get Dean's. I'm gonna clean up my face."

I walked over to Sam and helped him tie off his stiches. Then he cleaned the cut on my forehead and but on a butterfly stich or two.

"Sam." I said leaning into him. "That demon… Why didn't our abilities work on him?"

"I don't know Em. He must be pretty high up. I've never heard of him."

"… Dean knows him." I whispered. Sam looked at me in surprise.

"Are you sure?"

"He said Dean should remember him from downstairs… then he did. Sam. He kinda scares the living shit out of me."

"Me too Em… Me too." Sam sighed draping his arm over me. We walked back down to sit with Dean and Judson- who had his foot propped up on a table with an ice pack. I sat on his good leg and laid against him as he held a second ice pack against my shoulder.

"So, you lost the magic knife, huh?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, saving your ass. Who the hell was that demon?" Sam replied.

"No one good. We got to find Anna."

"Ruby's got her. I'm sure she's okay."

"You sure about Ruby? 'Cause I think it's just as likely she used us to find radio girl and then brought that demon in to kill us." I said with raised eyebrows.

"No, she took Anna to keep her safe."

"Yeah. Well, why hasn't she called to tell us where she is?" I asked.

"Because that demon is probably watching us right now, waiting to follow us right back to Anna again. That's why he let us go."

"You call this letting us go?" Judson asked, looking at the four of us bloodied and beat.

"Yeah, I do. Look, killing us would've been no problem to that thing. That's why, for now, we just got to lay low and wait for Ruby to contact us."

"How's she gonna do that?" Dean asked as the same time I opened my mouth.

"Why do you trust her so much?" I demanded.

"I told you in the car."

"You got to do better than that." Dean suggested. "Hey, and I'm not trying to pick a fight here. I mean, I really want to understand. But I need to know more. I mean, I deserve to know more."

"Ugh… whatever." I scoffed at Dean's lack of anger or annoyance. It only doubled mine. It infuriated me, It made me want to punch him.

"Because... she saved my life." Sam shook his head.

"Dean when you died… I tried really hard to hold myself together. To be there for Emily. But I was failing. I wasn't going to survive drinking all night every night and faking it out during the day. I felt like I had no chance to breathe."

I looked at him curiously… trying to remember back to when Dean first died. But I could only remember my own grief. Absorbed in it, unable to remember Sam at that point in time.

"Look… if we're putting all cards out on the table right here and right now, I want you to know something first Emily."

My face froze in confusion.

"Me?"

"Yeah… I. I was never going to tell you any of this. Because I know it's going to make things worse, but. I feel like maybe if you knew we could really get past all of this. We could actually put it behind us. I know you're going to be angry with me at first. But please. Stay for all of it. Listen to all of it before you make any judgements. I was in a bad place. I wasn't good enough to be around."

"Sam. Just say it." I mumbled. I sat up on Judson's lap a little. My body tense. Dean was watching me, intrigued and obviously anxious for what Sam was going to say next.

"I was planning a suicide mission. I was going to take Lillith down, and kill myself in the process. I just… I couldn't live knowing Dean died for me, watching you go through that much pain every day. Feeling responsible. It was too much."

I stared at him in shock. A lonely tear sliding down my cheek.

"One night… I was drinking, a lot. And Ruby was just. There. In my room. She… she told me that If I came with her that together we could kill Lillith. That she could help me. But. I had to go alone… she could only train someone who's abilities she understood. I couldn't take the chance of losing out on my shot to kill Lillith… I had to go Emily. I had to."

Judson was discreetly rubbing one had along my arm. My eyes were fixed to the floor. Absorbing the information. Understanding what it was he was beating around the bush about.

He left me… for her.

He ditched me… to go with her.

He chose her, over me.

The words repeated in my head again, and again.

"Keep going." Dean pushed when Sam paused.

"She said she could teach me things… ways to use my abilities against the demons. To help people, to kill Lillith."

"What did she teach you?"

"Well, the first thing I learned... I'm a crappy student. I struggled a lot. Headaches. Being too weak to finish off the demons. I was angry, and frustrated, and not sober most days… It wasn't the abilities I was having trouble with. It was the grief I was avoiding. So… one night. Ruby. She was there for me. She pushed me to talk about you. And … things just happened from there."

"Happened?!" Dean asked.

"Happened… in ways you don't want to explain in front of your baby sister, Dean."

"Sam? Too much information." Dean cringed.

"Hey, I told you I was coming clean."

"Yeah, but now I feel dirty. Okay, well, uh, brain-stabbing imagery aside... So far, all you've told me about is a manipulative bitch who, uh, screwed you, played mind games with you, and did everything in the book to get you to go bad."

… So far. All I've heard is you left me. For her. You abandoned me and couldn't pick up the phone because you were too busy fucking some demon bitch.

The more that came out of his mouth, the more angry, and… numb. I was. It was like someone was taking a knife and punching it into my back while laughing in my face. Rubbing it in.

I had never felt so betrayed in my life.

Eventually I laid back against Judson and turned my face away from my brothers. Hiding it in the crook of his neck. Letting the tears fall silently. Praying he didn't reach up to wipe them. He sat silent, still as a rock, and just let me hide myself in him.

"Yeah, well, there's more to the story."

"Just... skip the nudity, please."

"Pretty soon after... that, um... I put together some signs... Omens."

"Saying what?"

"Lilith was in town. And I wanted to strike her first. Ruby fought me on it, saying we weren't ready. But I was going to charge in guns blazing. Which is when she called me out… she realized it was a kamikaze thing. She tried to talk me out of it… but my mind wasn't changing. I went in, alone… I was caught almost immediately, seconds from death. But she showed up. And she saved me."

"Saved you?"

"Ruby came back for me. Whatever you have to say, she saved me. More than that, she got through to me. What she said to me... It's what you would've said. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here."

I sat in silence. Simmering in my pool of emotions. I was angry. I was hurt. I was pissed. I was jealous. I wanted revenge. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to cry. I wanted to kill her…

Instead. I climbed off of Judson's lap and moved towards the bathroom.

"Emily… wait. Please." Sam stood and called after me. But I was behind the door, and locked it before he could finish the word 'please'.

(THIRD PERSON POV)

"She's never going to forgive me is she…" Sam sighed.

"It's gonna a be a tough one to just swallow Sam. You know her, she's not seeing this in any way other than you picked Ruby over her." Dean explained.

"But that isn't what happened! I did that FOR her!"

"That won't matter to her, Sammy. Not right now anyways."

"Someone should talk to her though." Judson suggested. Both pair of eyes pointed at Dean.

"Yeah. Why don't you two get us packed up. We'll be harder to track on the move. I'll handle her."

Sam and Judson moved to pack up the first aid kits. Dean walked over to the bathroom and twisted the knob, finding it locked.

"Emily." He knocked. "Open the door babygirl."

He was met with silence.

"C'mon kiddo. You know I'm just going to pick the lock."

After a few more moments of silence the lock turned. Dean half smirked as he opened the door and found Emily leaned against the sink counter. Her eyes were fixated on the dirty tub in front of her. Her knuckles were white from gripping the counter. And the streaks on her face told him she had been crying already.

He moved to stand directly next to her, leaning against the wall.

"Do we need to talk about this one?" He asked gently.

Emily simply shook her head back an forth. She didn't want to talk. She didn't want to discuss this new found information. She wanted to act. She wanted to get rid of Ruby. She wanted Sam to know how much he hurt her, she wanted to beat him until he cried.

She wanted him to take it all back.

"Em, you should know it hurts him too. He made mistakes, he knows that. He hates it."

"He picked her." Emily whispered.

With those three small words her wall crumbled. Her shoulders began to shake and Dean pulled her against him, cradling her while she cried. He knew she was hurt deeply, and that there was nothing he could say that would fix it. Because he wasn't angry with Sam. He was trying to understand both sides. Had we he wished Sam had done things differently? Hell yes. But he was trying to play mediator, not pick sides. He hurt when she hurt… but he couldn't alienate Sam, or he might lose him.

Ruby's hold over him was still evident. And Dean knew he had to handle the situation delicately, or Sam would disappear with her again.

Knocking on the front door got Dean's attention. He quickly ripped open the bathroom door as a maid entered the room.

"I'm at this address." She said handing a piece of paper to Sam.

"I'm sorry. What?" He said confused.

"Go now. Go through the bathroom window, don't stop, don't take your car, don't pass go. There are demons in the hallway and in the parking lot."

"Ruby?!" Sam asked shocked.

Blood boiled in Emily's body, the name alone could cause the reaction but having the demon so close to her at this particular moment was too much.

She slammed the bathroom door shut after Dean stepped out.

Kicking the door over, and over, and over again… wishing it was Ruby instead.

"Emily! Open the door. We have to leave, now." Judson pleaded as he shook the door knob. "Emily!"

The door unlocked and Emily faced Judson.

"We have to go, there are demons out front."

"Good." She growled, pushing past him and out the motel door.

"Emily! Where are you going?" Dean called after her. She treaded down the hall until she came to a demon, hiding around the corner. With the flick of her wrist she and squeeze of her fist he was dead in the floor in moments. She continued, until she came across another, and then one more at the front door.

Her brothers and Judson trailed behind, bodies leading them to the front where Emily stood beside the car. Staring at the road while she leaned against the trunk.

Judson and Dean shared a concerned look. Was it safe to put Ruby and Emily in the same room together? Do they have another choice?

"Let's go." Dean called out to her. Knowing that this would have to be dealt with eventually. Judson crawled into the backseat beside her. When he looked up at her he wanted to scold her for her over dramatic murder spree. But when her eyes met his and he saw the amount of pain in them, his anger for her actions vanished.

His one weakness… Emily in pain.

He reached out and held her hand, squeezing it as they linked fingers. She scooted in the seat to sit closer to him, but kept her gaze out the window as they drove.

(Emily's POV)

We walked up to the abandoned property that housed a small cabin. Inside of it was Ruby. I could just sense her. I didn't even have to be inside. I was so filled with anger I was practically numb from the burn of the fire in my veins.

"Glad you could make it." Ruby commented. I bit my tongue hard enough to draw blood. I walked to the corner in silence. Watching. Judson moved to stand beside me.

"Anna, are you okay?" Sam asked as Anna stood.

"Yeah. I think so. Ruby's not like other demons. She saved my life."

I couldn't stop the humorless laugh that left my lips. I gritted my teeth and balled my fists. Focusing on keeping my anger within myself, but I could feel the ground shaking slightly.

"Yeah, I hear she does that. I guess I... You know." Dean said to her awkwardly.

"What?" She asked.

"I guess I owe you for... Sam. And I just wanted... you know..."

"Don't strain yourself."

"Okay, then. Is the moment over? Good, 'cause that was awkward."

"Hey, Sam." Anna called his attention back. "You think it'd be safe to make a quick call, just to tell my parents I'm okay? They must be completely freaked."

My heart hurt for Anna… for the news she didn't even see coming.

"Um. Anna." Sam said softly.

"What?"

"Your parents..."

"What about them?"

"I'm sorry." Dean finally spoke, breaking the news.

"No, they're not..." She pleaded.

"Anna, I'm sorry." Sam added. Anna collapsed on the bench seat below her, her face hiding in her hands as she cried. Sam moved to comfort her immediately.

"Why is this happening to me?"

"I don't know."

Suddenly her face when from grief to fear as she covered her ears with her hands.

"Anna?" I asked noting the change.

"They're coming." She trembled in fear.

"Back room. Go now!" Dean told her, she ran for cover.

"Where's the knife?" Ruby asked.

"Uh... about that... " Dean sighed.

"You're kidding."

"Hey, don't look at me." Dean raised his hands.

"Thanks a lot." Sam said shaking his head at Dean.

"Great. Just peachy. Impeccable timing, guys, really."

"You're one to talk about timing." I shot at her viciously. Dean turned to look at me and shook his head, mouthing the words 'not now'. I rolled my eyes and prepared to focus my anger on whatever came through that fucking door.

It rattled violently for a moment then burst open.

Castiel and Uriel entered the small cabin and immediately my anger turned to discomfort. Uriel. He stared at me in disgust as he entered the room.

"Uriel right?" Dean asked as he took a step forward.

"Yes." He answered, but before he could say another word Dean swung his fist and turned Uriel's face sideways. Castiel moved between the two of them.

"ENOUGH." He said with finality. Dean glared Uriel down as he took his steps backwards.

"Don't even look at her." Dean told him as his eyes scanned the room again.

"You are not the boss of me you imp." Uriel shot back as lightning struck out the window violently.

"You don't look at her, you don't speak to her, you don't even acknowledge her. Do I make myself clear." Dean growled at him.

"Dean." Castiel called his attention off of Uriel. "What is the meaning of all this?"

"What your buddy over there didn't tell you about the chat he had with Em? Or did you approve something like that? Huh? Do you like to crush the spirit of teenage girls in your spare time too Castiel?"

"I do not know of what you speak, but I assure you I will handle the matter later. We have other things to focus on at the moment."

"Please tell me you're here to help. We've been having demon issues all day."

"We're here for Anna.

"Here for her like... here for her?"

"Stop talking. Give her to us." Uriel demanded. His voice causing me to shrink under Judson's arm.

"Fuck off." Dean smirked.

"Are you gonna help her?" Sam asked.

"No, she has to die."


	75. Chapter 75

Author's note: Soooo… HOUSCON WAS AMAZING! I have to tell you guys, I always heard that everyone was so awesome, but until you experience it firsthand you just don't know! They are TRULY amazing. I am wishing I could go back and live it all again! I will HAVE to do another CON, because I cannot imagine not seeing these beautiful people again! Meeting them has put new motivation to write into me, I cannot wait for you all to review on this chapter… things will change from here on out and I'd LOOOOOVE to hear what you all think! What do you hate? What do you love? What do you want to see happen next? I am playing with where to go from this pivotal moment. I love you all dearly and promise I will try to update more often like I used to, hopefully once a week! Please READ and REVIEW!

"… She has to die."

"You want Anna? Why?" Sam asked. Not that my curiosity wasn't peaked… but the sight of Uriel's eyes boring into me made me nervous. I stepped up and hid against Judson's side. Out of my peripheral I watched as Uriel chuckled and shook his head. Then he focused back on my brothers.

"Out of the way." He sighed annoyed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, I know she's wiretapping your angel chats or whatever, but it's no reason to gank her." Dean reasoned, talking more to Castiel than Uriel.

"Don't worry. I'll kill her gentle." Uriel laughed.

"You're fixing to cross a line you son of a bitch. Now come on Castiel, you can't be serious about killing her!"

"As a matter of fact, we are. And?"

"And? Anna's an innocent girl." Sam argued.

"She is far from innocent."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means she's worse than this abomination you've been screwing. Now give us the girl."

"Sorry. Get yourself another one. Try JDate." Dean smiled.

"Who's gonna stop us? You humans? Or this demon whore?"

With the wave of his had Uriel throws Ruby against the wall and Sam lunges at him.

"Castiel, stop this...please!" I begged from Judson's side.

Castiel stepped forward and laid a finger to Dean's forehead causing him to fall to the ground, then he moves over to where Uriel has just punched Sam. Castiel placed his hand over Uriel's shoulder and he reluctantly relased Sam, they moved to walk past him but before they could take a step a bright white light filled the room and engulfed them, as it dimmed they disappeared.

"What the fuck?" Dean questioned as he stirred awake. I gripped Judson's arm, and he wrapped it around me, unsure of what had just happened made us both on edge.

Sam helps ruby to her feet and we all look around the room for Anna.

"Anna?" I called out.

"Back here!" She answered, we rushed into the back room of the cabin where Anna stands covered in blood from her elbows down.

"Anna. Anna!" Dean rushed in to stop the bleeding. I looked up to the mirror beside her where something strange that I had never seen before was painted in what I assume was her blood.

"Are they - are they gone?" She asked shakily.

"Did you kill them?" I asked her.

"No. I sent them away... far away."

"You want to tell me how?" Dean asked.

"That just popped in my head. I don't know how I did it. I just did it."

"Oh… okay. Anna. Just. Hold some pressure to those. We're gonna step out and get something to wrap them up."

"Ruby, stay with her." Sam said as he and Dean walked around the corner. I pulled Judson to walk behind me but he resisted.

"You go. I'm gonna keep an eye on her, okay?" He whispered as he nodded over to Anna.

"Becareful." I said looking to Ruby. He nodded and I jogged to catch up to my bothers.

"So, what do you think?" Dean asked as we met by the back of the trunk.

"I think Anna's getting more interesting by the second." Sam answered.

"Yeah, I agree. And what did they mean by she's not innocent?" I asked.

"It seems like they want her bad, and not just 'cause of the angel radio thing. I mean, that blood spell - Some serious crap, I don't know what we're getting into here."

"Something's going on with her." Dean nodded. "See what you can find out. Em, you good? Uriel didn't touch you did he?"

"No. De… I'm fine. What do we need to do while Sam's digging?"

"Anna may have sent the angels to the outfield, but, sooner or later, they're gonna be back. We got to get ourselves safe now."

"Bobby's?"

"Yeah. Im gonna call him. Why don't you patch up Anna and round everyone up."

"Yeah. Minus one." I said crossing my arms.

"Emily, please don't pull this right now." Sam said closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Fuck you, Sam. If you think I'm riding for half a day in a car with her you're stupider than you look."

"Emily this is kind of important and Ruby has done nothing but help since she found Anna."

"I don't care. I refuse."

"Alright that's enough! Both of you." Dean stepped between us.

"Emily could you please just bear with me for 12 hours."

"NO! Dean, no! I will not be in the same car as her, I'll fucking kill her!"

"Stop being so self righteous!" Sam shouted back. "You made shitty decisions too, and we put that behind us! Why can't you?"

"Because you still haven't put Ruby behind you Sam! On you, under you, in front of you spread eagle maybe but not fucking behind you! When you do that… then you can come talk to me. Judson and I will find a ride. See you at Bobby's." I replied before grabbing my bag from the trunk and stomping back inside of the cabin.

"Emily stop!" Dean called out, but I only flipped him the bird. "Dammit Emily Anne get back here now!"

As I kept walking I could hear the footsteps coming up behind me. And then a hand on my shoulder pulled me backwards.

"I said stop! This is me, you, and Sam. Family. Trying to fix the fucking world one broken ass step at a time. You can't just walk away because the conditions aren't your own. Shit sucks! Okay, I get it! I don't like her either, but right now she's here and so are you. I will not let this family split when we just got it back together. Get your shit back in that trunk and get your ass in that car." Dean demanded.

We shared a stare down, and just when I thought I had him beat he leaned down forward and put his face a few centimeters form mine.

"Now." He said slowly with his 'dad' voice.

Part of me wanted to rebel, but the smarter part of me knew this was Dean's warning. So I chunked my bag at him and walked back to the car, slamming the door behind me.

A few minutes later everyone else made their way to the car. I figured it best to just close by eyes and pretend to be asleep as I leaned against the window. Judson climbed in the front seat and gently pushed me towards the middle, Dean on my other side. In the back Anna, Sam… and Ruby climbed in one after another.

I curled into Judson's side. He swung his arm over me and pulled his phone out of his pocket, he typed a message into a blank text message and then handed me the phone.

It read: Are you okay? I get the feeling there was a fight.

I replied: There was. And I don't really know. I'm just glad you're here. What have we gotten ourselves into?

J: I don't know Em. Angels are dangerous. Demons are dangerous. We're in this one pretty deep. Gotta make smart moves only.

E: … I hate her, Jud.

J: I know baby. But you've gotta play this one out as much as it sucks. Just keep your distance.

I read the message and shut the phone, then I moved to lay down, my feet in Dean's lap, and my head on Judson's. He pulled his fingers through my hair slowly.

If I have to be in this car for 12 hours I'd better be sleeping most of it… cause I assume demons don't sleep.

…

"Iron walls drenched in salt. Demons can't even touch the joint." Dean smiled as he walked us all- minus Judson who made a supply run- down to Bobby's panic room.

"Which I find racist, by the way." Ruby called out from the doorway.

"Write your congressman." I smiled. She rolled her eyes and I rose mine in a challenging fashion.

"Stop." Sam said looking between the two of us, then he stepped out of the room.

"Here." Ruby said as she tossed Dean a handful of small bags.

"Hex bags?" Dean asked.

"Extra-crunchy. They'll hide us from angels, demons, all comers."

"Thanks." He replied before handing one to Anna. "Don't lose this. So, Anna, what's playing on angel radio? Anything useful?"

"It's quiet. Dead silence."

"Good. That's not troubling at all." I sighed sitting on a stool in the corner.

"We're in trouble, huh? You guys are scared?" She asked me. I looked up to Dean, who smiled at her.

"Nah." He winked.

"Hey, Dean, Em!" Sam called from the other room.

"Just stay here, okay?" Dean said to Anna, then he stopped by Ruby. "Keep an eye on her."

"How's Anna?" Sam asked.

"She's fine. Where's Bobby?" I asked. Hoping him being here would provide me some Ruby back up.

"Uh, The Dominican. He said we break anything, we buy it."

"He's working a job?"

"God, I hope so. Otherwise, he's at hedonism in a banana hammock and a trucker cap."

"Now that's seared in my brain." I groaned.

"All right, what did you find on Anna?" Dea asked.

"Uh, not much. Her parents were, uh, Rich and Amy Milton - a church deacon and a housewife."

"Riveting." I mumbled sarcastically.

"Yeah. But there is something here in the report. Turns out this latest psych episode wasn't her first. When she was 2 1/2, she'd get hysterical any time her dad got close. She was convinced that he wasn't her real daddy."

"Who was? The plumber, hmm? A little snaking the pipes?" Dean smied.

"Dude, you're confusing reality with porn again." I shot at him.

"Look, Anna didn't say. She just kept repeating that this real father of hers was mad. Very mad - like wanted-to-kill-her mad." Sam continued.

"Kind of heavy for a 2-year-old."

"Well, she saw a kid's shrink, got better, and grew up normal."

"Until now. So, what's she hiding?"

"Why don't you just ask me to my face?" Anna shot from behind us, causing us all to turn and face her.

"Nice job watching her." Dean said to Ruby.

"I'm watching her." She shrugged.

"No, you're right, Anna. Is there anything you want to tell us?" Sam asked her

"About what?"

"The angels said you were guilty of something. Why would they say that?"

"You tell me. Tell me why my life has been leveled... Why my parents are dead. I don't know. I swear. I would give anything to know."

"Okay. Then let's find out."

"How?"

"Pamela." I said out loud, reading what Sam was thinking. He nodded in agreeance.

"Alright. I'll go get her. Em, you're with me."

…..

Pamela rode in the backseat of the car, quiet for only the first few minutes before she spoke up.

"Soo… I may be blind but I can feel the tension in this car. What's been going on with the Winchester's?"

"Nothing. Just. Trying to save the world from the apocalypse. You know, the everyday thing."

"I wasn't talking about things in the world stud, I was talking about amongst the three of you. It's like I can feel the anger."

I guiltily looked down and tucked my hands in my lap.

"Nothing." Dean repeated, but his eyes fell to me. I didn't have to look up to feel their weight on my shoulders.

"Emily?" Pamela asked.

"You sure about that?"

"… It's just family drama."

"Well. Whatever it is, I'd work it out pretty quickly. Things like this only get heavier the harder you hold onto them." She warned.

"Yeah.. I know." I whispered.

A few short hours later we arrived back at Bobby's. Judson's bike was still gone. It caught me off guard that he was still gone, he should have been back by now. I pulled out my phone to call him… but no answer.

"We're here!" Dean called as he led Pamela down the stairs, I followed.

"Pamela, hey!" Sam cheered as he met them at the bottom of the stairs.

"Sam?"

"It's me. it's Sam"

"Sam?"

"Yeah."

"Sam, is that you?"

"I'm right here."

"Oh. Know how I can tell?" Pamela asked, then she smiled and grabbed Sam's ass. "That perky little ass of yours. You could bounce a nickel off that thing. Of course I know it's you, grumpy. Same way I know that's a demon, and that poor girl's Anna and that you've been eyeing my rack."

"Uh... uh..." Sam mumbled.

"Don't sweat it, kiddo. I still got more senses than most."

"Got it."

Pamela laughed and then walked over to Anna.

"Hey, Anna. How are you? I'm Pamela."

"Hi."

"Dean told me what's been going on. I'm excited to help."

"Oh. That's nice of you."

"Oh, well, not really. Any chance I can dick over an angel, I'm taking it."

"Why?"

"They stole something from me." Pamela smiled as she pulled off her sunglasses, reavealing her white eyes. "Demon-y, I know. But they're just plastic. Good for business. Makes me look extra-psychic, don't you think?" She laughed. "Now...how about you tell me what your deal is? Hmm? Don't you worry."

Pamela swung an arm over Anna as they walked into the panic room and led her to the bed in the corner to lie down.

"Nice and relaxed. Now, I'm going to count down from five to zero. When we're at zero, you'll be in a deep state of hypnosis. As I count down, just go deeper and deeper, okay? 5... 4... 3... 2... 1. Deep sleep. Deep sleep. Every muscle calm and relaxed. Can you hear me?"

"I can hear you."

Dean, Sam, and I entered the room and Ruby stood by the door way. This panic room was becoming my new favorite place in the whole world.

"Now, Anna, tell me... How can you hear the angels? How did you work that spell?"

"I don't know. I just did."

"Your father... What's his name?"

"Rich Milton."

"All right. But I want you to look further back... When you were very young... Just a couple of years old."

"I don't want to."

"It'll be okay. Anna, just one look - that's all we need."

"No." Anna cried.

"What's your dad's name? Your real dad. Why is he angry at you?"

"No. No! No." Anna screamed, her back arching off the bed.

"Calm down."

"He's gonna kill me!"

"Anna, you're safe."

"No!" She screamed, the lights above us shattering, causing me to duck under Sam's arm. He covered me as the glass fell.

"Calm down."

"He's gonna kill me!"

"It's all right, Anna."

"Anna?" Dean said approaching her.

"Dean, don't." Pamela warned as Dean reached out for her, Anna swung, knocking Dean across the room. He quickly stood again, I moved to stand beside him.

"Wake in 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Anna... Anna? You all right?"

Anna took slow deep breaths as she sat up on the side of the bed.

"Thank you, Pamela. That helps a lot. I remember now."

"Remember what?" Sam asked.

"Who I am."

"I'll bite. Who are you?"

"I'm an angel."

"What?" I whispered.

"Don't be afraid, I'm not like the others."

"I don't find that very reassuring." Ruby commented.

"Neither do I." Pamela agreed.

"So...Castiel, Uriel - they're the ones that came for me?"

"You know them?"

"We were kind of in the same foxhole."

"So, what, were they like your bosses or something?"

"Try the other way around."

"Look at you." Dean smiled slightly.

"But now they want to kill you?" I asked.

"Orders are orders. I'm sure I have a death sentence on my head."

"Why?" Pamela asked.

"I disobeyed... which, for us, is about the worst thing you can do. I fell."

"Meaning?"

"She fell to earth, became human." Pamela answered for her.

"Wait a minute. I don't understand. So, angels can just become human?" Sam asked.

"It kind of hurts. Try cutting your kidney out with a butter knife. That kind of hurt. I ripped out my grace."

"Come again?" I asked.

"My grace. It's... energy. Hacked it out and fell. My mother, Amy, couldn't get pregnant. Always called me her little miracle. She had no idea how right she was."

"So, you just forgot that you were God's little Power Ranger?" Dean asked.

"The older I got, the longer I was human, yeah."

"I don't think you all appreciate how completely screwed we are." Ruby cut in.

"Ruby's right. Heaven wants me dead."

"And Hell just wants her. A flesh-and-blood angel that you can question, torture, that bleeds. Sister, you're the Stanley Cup. And sooner or later, Heaven or Hell, they're gonna find you."

"Way to be positive." I threw my hands up at her.

"No. She's right." Anna cut in. "And that's why I'm gonna get it back."

"What?"

"My grace."

"You can do that?"

"If I can find it."

"So, what, you're just gonna take some divine bong hit, and, shazam, you're Roma Downey?" Dean asked as confused about it all as I was.

"Something like that."

"All right. I like this plan. So, where's this grace of yours?"

"Lost track. I was falling about 10,000 miles per hour at the time."

"Wait. You mean falling, like, literally?" Sam asked.

"Yes."

"Like the way a human eye can see? Like a comet, maybe, or a meteor?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Give me some time to look into something… Why don't you guys get Pamela back home, before any other angles show up."

"That would be much appreciated." She said standing.

"I'll meet you at the car." I said to Dean as I exited the room, phone in hand.

I stepped into the kitchen and dialed Judson again.

"Hey babe." He answered.

"Hey, where are you?"

"Having trouble tracking down some ingredients for some protection spells I picked up. I should be back later tonight. You okay?"

"I'm fine… Can't you just get them later?"

"I think we might need them baby, I promise I'm hurrying."

"Fine." I sighed.

"Hey… don't do that. Talk to me, whats going on there?"

"Anna… she's an angel, Jud."

"WHAT!"

"… She's an angel. She didn't know it till Pamela hypnotized her into looking back in her memory, but she lost this thing called her grace, so she thinks if she can get it back she can fight off the angels and the demons, end this crap."

"Wow… um. Okay. Uh.. so what are you doing now?"

"I'm fixing to ride with Dean to take Pamela home."

"Okay baby, be safe. I'll see you later. I love you."

"Love you too." I mumbled before hanging up.

I made my way back to baby and met with Dean as he helped Pamela into the backseat.

"Where'd you go?"

"Call Judson."

"And?"

"He said he'd be back tonight… having a hard time tracking down supplies for some protection spells."

"He must be looking for something really rare." Pamela commented.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there's a town a couple hours away that has a psychic that stocks damn near everything I've ever heard of. He shouldn't have problem tracking down anything with her around. Bobby goes there all the time if I remember correctly."

"I'm not sure what he's looking for… he didn't say. He just said he wanted it incase things went south."

"Well, good luck to him." Pamela said as Dean started rolling down the road.

"So, Ruby… hanging around with Demon's now are we?" Pamela mentioned.

My stomach flopped at the mention of her name. A spurt of fire went through my body as I bit my tongue.

"Ouch… I could feel that one kiddo."

"What?" I turned around and asked.

"You hate the air she breathes."

"… So what?" I shot back getting more irritated by the second.

"Hey." Dean warned. "Attitude."

"My bad." Pamela said with hands raised. "If its any consolation I wouldn't trust her."

"Why?" Dean asked.

"She's a demon. Plus… she puts off an odd vibe. Not that I've been around many demons, but. I've been around lots of people. She's got her motives. Just can't tell if they're going to benefit the Winchesters in any way."

I sat back in the seat with my arms crossed, smug smile on my face.

"We're just working with her for this case… she's the one who told us about Anna." Dean replied.

"No, we're being her fucking bitch boys Dean!"

"Hey! I said watch the attitude."

"No! Pamela is right, I'm right! She is playing us for something, and Sam's too busy trying to get his dick wet to see anything!

"Whoa!" Pamela laughed from the backseat. "Life with the Winchesters is never dull is it?"

"End of conversation!" Dean shot back at me. "We are ONLY working with her on this case for now. I do not trust her, I do not seek her help or her company. I tolerate it which is what I'm asking you to do until we figure this shit out! Now I am done having this conversation with you… I don't trust her either Em, I don't like her. But until this shit is over, we have to tolerate her. So suck it up, buttercup."

Dean punched the gas and turned up the radio… I sat back against the seat roughly, stewing again in my anger. Pamela reached forward and placed her hand on my shoulder for a tight but brief squeeze.

…

When Dean and I pulled up into the salvage yard we found Anna and Judson standing outside having a conversation, as we approached he smiled at me, and I couldn't wait to rush into his arms. Dean parked the car and I literally jumped out and tackled him.

"Mmm… missed you baby." He whispered into my ear.

"I missed you." I said as I laid a kiss against his lips.

"Pamela get home okay?" Anna asked as Dean walked up.

"Yeah. She said she was sorry. It's just after last time, she, uh... This is just a little too rich for her blood."

"I don't blame her. You guys should do the same."

"Well, we're not that smart." Dean laughed, then he looked intensely at Anna. "Can I ask you something? What do they want me for? Why did they save me?"

I turned to Anna and watched her face as she answered, looking for any kind of clue.

"I'm sorry. The angels aren't talking about it. And it was after I fell."

"That's another question." I mentioned as I leaned backwards against Judson, his arms around me as we leaned against the car opposite of Dean and Anna. "Why would you fall? Why would you want to be one of us?"

"You don't mean that." She smiled at me.

"I don't?" I asked.

"A bunch of - of miserable bastards... Eating, crapping, confused, afraid. Why not be one of us?" Dean added sarcastically.

"I don't know. There's loyalty... forgiveness... love." She said as she looked between Judson and I with a smile. He leaned down and kissed the top of my head.

"Pain." Dean added.

"Chocolate cake." Anna shot back.

"Guilt."

"Sex."

"Yeah, you got me there." Dean smiled. I rolled my eyes.

"I mean it. Every emotion, Dean, even the bad ones... It's why I fell. It's why... why I'd give anything not to have to go back. Anything."

"Feelings are overrated, if you ask me." He shrugged.

"Beats being an angel."

"How's that possible? You guys are powerful and perfect. You don't doubt yourselves or God or anything." I asked shocked.

"Perfect... Like a marble statue. Cold... no choice... only obedience. Dean, do you know how many angels have actually seen God? Seen his face?"

"All of you I thought."

"Four angels. Four. And I'm not one of them."

"That's it? Well, then how do you even know that there is a God?" Dean asked.

"We have to take it on faith... Which we're killed if we don't have."

"Huh." I pondered sadly… thinking suddenly that Heaven is surely not the place I had always imagined it would be. The angels… they aren't what I thought they would be.

"I was stationed on earth 2,000 years. Just... watching... silent... invisible... out on the road... sick for home... waiting on orders from an unknowable father I can't begin to understand. So don't tell me that-"

She stopped as she heard Dean's laughter.

"What is so funny? What?" She asked.

Dean and I shared a look.

"Nothing. Sorry. It's just...I can relate."

"Hey." Sam said walking outside to join us.

"Did you find something?" Dean asked.

"I think so."

We all moved to walk inside, but Anna grabbed my wrist.

"Um, we'll meet you there." She smiled to Sam. I looked at her curiously, but then nodded to Judson and watched as the boys all walked in.

"What's wrong Anna?"

"I just… I wanted to talk to you alone for a second."

"Okay?"

"Uriel… I know he said some terrible things to you, about you… but Emily even if I don't know Heaven's purpose for you or Dean, I know that you are good people. You are the kind of people the angels smile when they look down on. Please. Don't take what he says with any kind of value… he is an angry angel, a wrathful man even as a human. I remember him then, and I still see it in him now. He does not know mercy like many angels I do know."

"… What if he is right though? What if Heaven doesn't want me alive?"

"One day you'll see that Heaven isn't always right…"

"How can that be? I mean… you follow the commands of God."

"I wish it were that simple. Just, don't let them get to you. They're afraid of you… that's all."

"Thank you Anna." I said as I reached out and embraced her, she hugged me back and then we walked in to meet with everyone else.

"Union, Kentucky. Found some accounts of a local miracle." Sam said as we walked in.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. In '85, there was an empty field outside of town. Six months later, there was a full-grown oak. They say it looks a century old at least."

"Anna, what do you think?" I asked.

"The grace. Where it hit, it could have done something like that, easy."

"So grace ground zero - it's not destruction. It's..." Dean started.

"Pure creation." Anna smiled.

…..

Another 7 hour ride and we were pulling up in the field in front of one of the biggest oak trees I've ever seen in my life. It was beautiful and lively, green all around it.

"It's beautiful." I mumbled out loud.

"It's where the grace touched down. I can feel it." Anna said as she stepped forward and stared at the tree.

"You ready to do this?" Dean asked her.

"Not really."

"Anna, what are we even looking for?" Judson asked as we walked forward and Anna laid a hand on the tree.

"It doesn't matter. It's not here. Not anymore. Someone took it." She said sadly.

"Wait, how can someone else take YOUR grace?" Sam asked confused.

"Another angel… they can harvest it. Keep it away from me, stop me from becoming an Angel again."

"We should get out of here." Dean said quickly. "If someone else took it then they knew where it was… they could be watching us."

….

Dean drove us a couple of hours away to an abandoned barn where we could huddle down and hide safely while we developed a plan.

"We still got the hex bags. I say we head back to the panic room." Dean shrugged.

"What, forever?" Ruby mocked.

"Keeps us away from you." I shot back.

"I'm just thinking out loud!" Dean shouted at her.

"Oh, you call that thinking?"

"Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Stop it." Sam cut in.

"Anna's grace is gone. You understand? She can't angel up. She can't protect us. We can't fight Heaven and Hell. One side maybe, but not both. Not at once." Ruby replied.

"Um... guys? The angels are talking again." Anna said as she stood and stared off at nothing.

"What are they saying?" I asked.

"It's weird... Like a recording... a loop. It says, Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or..."

"Or what?" I asked as my stomach dropped.

"...or we hurl him back to damnation."

"What?!" I asked in panic, turning back to meet Dean's wide eyes.

No no no no no no! No… I can't. I won't let this happen.

"Anna! You tell them they can't do that!" I yelled.

"I can't talk back to them. I'm sorry…" She replied sadly.

"No… they can't." I said turning and walking to Dean. "They can't do that right?! Dean?"

"Em, take a breath." Judson said putting a hand on my back. Dean just looked at me, then at Anna, I could see the fear in his eyes.

"Anna... Do you know of any weapon that works on an angel?" Sam asked.

"To what? To kill them?" Sam nodded. "Nothing we could get to... Not right now."

"Okay, wait, wait. I say we call Bobby. We get him back from hedonism." Dean started.

"Dean, what's he gonna tell us that we don't already know?" Sam turned back and yelled at him in frustration.

"I don't know, but we got to think of something!"

"Stop!" I said standing between them. "We will NOT let them take you back… we won't! Everyone just, step away and take a breath. Dean. They can't take you. I won't let them." I told him defiantly.

"I know kiddo… I'm. I'm gonna get some air." He said as he walked outside. Sam stalked off in the other direction and Ruby followed him.

"I'm so sorry Emily. Your family doesn't deserve this… I'll hand myself over.

"No, Anna. Don't please… just. Let us think about it for a while. Figure it out."

"I'm going to check on Dean." She nodded as she stepped outside.

This left Judson and I in the barn alone. I waited till Anna was gone to turn to him.

"Jud… They can't do that can they?" I asked him with stinging eyes.

"I don't know baby." He whispered as he held my face, his thumb rubbing against my cheek. "I don't know."

"No… they can't do that." I said pulling away from him, pacing.

"Castiel!" I yelled.

"Em what are you doing?"

"I just want to talk to him… DAMMIT CASTIEL!"

"Emily stop! We're hidden, don't lead them here."

"I can't! I can't let him just go back there!"

"Emily shhh… stop baby, just. Take a breath. C'mon. Deep breaths."

I leaned into his shoulder as I fought to gain control of my breath. He rocked me back and forth as I tried to push the panic back down.

"Well figure it out… we always do." He assured me. "Why don't we go up to the loft. Get some sleep?"

"What about Dean?"

"Anna and him are right outside… Sam and Ruby and around the corner, everyone's here and safe. Just, try and get some rest. You're gonna need some strength for whatever comes next.

"Okay." I surrendered.

Judson and I walked the old steps to the top of the barn where he laid down a blanket over a pile of loose hay. He laid down and pulled me to lay beside him.

"You know…" He smiled. "If your brothers weren't here this would be kinda sexy."

"Sexy?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah. Me, you, and good old fashioned roll in the hay." He winked.

I laughed at his corny joke, but stopped as his lips molded against mine. Heat building between us as he rolled us and hovered over me.

"I love you." He whispered against my ear. "No matter what.

"I love you too." I said taken back by his sincerity. He didn't waste another second before placing his lips against mine again, my tongue tasting him in the most delicious of ways.

"Judson." I moaned as his mouth moved down my neck, his hands traveled under my shirt. Thumbs rolling against my nipples.

My hand dipped into his waistline, and gripped him as he hardened. Stroking him as he whispered my name. He leaned up and pulled off his shirt… then mine, jeans quick to follow.

I loved every second of being with this man, I loved the way he touched me, the way he made me forget the world around me, the way he could calm me with one touch, and excite me all the same.

Tomorrow may be ugly… but tonight, tonight is beautiful.

…

The next morning when I woke I could hear voices. Sam and Dean talking downstairs. Judson was no longer lying next to me. I sat up and was sure to straighten my clothes before making my way down the steps to join them.

"Where's Judson?"

"Outside, keeping guard."

"Ruby?" I asked looking around noting she was also gone.

"I don't know." Sam sighed.

Dean paced.

"So what now… where do we go?"

"I don't know, Em. We just… ride it out. Sam. Any ideas?"

"I don't know, man. Where's Ruby?"

"Hey, she's your Hell buddy." Dean mumbled as he lifted his flask.

"Little early for that, isn't it?" Anna asked.

"It's 2 a.m. somewhere."

"You okay?" I asked reaching out to his arm.

"Yeah, of course." He lied.

"Hey! Incoming." Judson yelled out coming down from the roof as Castiel and Uriel busted through the barn doors.

"Hello, Anna. It's good to see you." Castiel said.

"How? How did you find us?" Sam asked. Castiel looked up to Dean. Who looked down in guilt.

"Dean?" I asked shocked. He turned to Anna.

"I'm sorry."

"Why?" Sam asked him.

"Because they gave him a choice." Anna answered for him. "They either kill me... or kill you and Emily. I know how their minds work."

Anna stepped towards Dean and kissed him.

"Whooooa…" I mumbled under my breath. "When did that happen?"

"You did the best you could. I forgive you." Anna told him before walking to face Castiel and Uriel. "Okay. No more tricks. No more running. I'm ready."

"I'm sorry." Castiel told her.

"No. You're not. Not really. You don't know the feeling."

"Still, we have a history. It's just –"

"Orders are orders. I know. Just make it quick."

Just as Anna closed her eyes the sound of Evil entered the room.

"Don't you touch a hair on that poor girl's head." Alastair called from the back of the room. Walking in with a bleeding Ruby and two other demons in tow. Sam grabbed me and pulled me between himself and Dean. Judson edging around the room.

"How dare you come in this room... you pussing sore." Uriel called out to him.

"Name-calling. That hurt my feelings... You sanctimonious, fanatical prick."

"Turn around and walk away now." Castiel warned him. The more they talked the more my brothers inched their way backwards against the wall.

"Sure. Just give us the girl. We'll make sure she gets punished good and proper." Alastair smiled.

"You know who we are and what we will do. I won't say it again. Leave now... or we lay you to waste."

"Think I'll take my chances."

The angels begin to fight and Castiel begins to attempt to exorcise Alistair, but nothing happens.

"Dean… who the hell is this guy!" I asked shocked. Dean watched in fear with no answer as Alastair hits Castiel.

"Sorry, kiddo. Why don't you go run to daddy?"

"Aaaaahhhh!" A demon yelled as Uriel cast him back to hell. Then Alastair began to try to do an exorcism on Castiel.

"Dean! Do something!" I said as I watched the pain across the angel's face.

"Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferna, me confirma. Potestas inferma, me confirma-" Alastair stops as Dean hits him with a crowbar. But he turned to Dean with a smile.

"Dean, Dean, Dean... I am so disappointed. You had such promise."

Alastair throws Dean against the wall and rushed to his aide. I jumped on Alastairs back and thrust my knife into his shoulder, causing him to become temporairily distracted, but not long enough because he grabbed my wrist and twisted, causing me to release my grip and fall to the ground, he stood with his boot over my neck as he laughed.

"Ohhh… I like you. Full of fire! You and I could have some fun ya know? Just me. You. The romance of hell fire. What do you say pretty thing?"

"NO!" Dean yelled as he stood and tackled Alastair backwards.

Just then I heard Uriel yell out and turned to see Anna grab the pendant containing a blue haze much like my red haze, she breaks it on the ground and the blueish white light moves towards Anna.

"Shut your eyes." She warned. "Shut your eyes! Shut your eyes!"

I did as she said and buried my face in the ground. A light so bright that I could see it even with my eyes shut filled the room. It was blinding and powerful, and as it peaked I could hear Alastair's scream fade.

As it faded I looked up in time to see Anna disappear, and Ruby's demon killing knife on the ground in front of me. I reached out and grabbed it. Dean and Sam stood, pulling me up to my feet. Judson came to stand behind me.

"Well, what are you guys waiting for? Go get Anna. Unless, of course, you're scared." Dean challenged Uriel.

"This isn't over."

"Oh, it looks over to me, junkless."

The angels vanished.

"You okay?" Sam asked Ruby as she limped over to us.

"Not so much."

"What took you so long to get here?"

"Sorry I'm late with the demon delivery. I was only being tortured."

"I got to hand it to you, Sammy. Bringing them all together all at once - angels and demons. It was a damn good plan."

"Wait… you assholes planned all that and didn't bother to tell me?!" I asked angrily.

"You were sleeping… we didn't want to wake you." Sam answered.

"Yeah. Sure… I'm sure that's all it was." I said crossing my arms.

"Em. I promise that was it."

"Yeah." I said looking back down at the ground with disappointment.

"So, I guess she's some big-time angel now, huh? She must be happy... Wherever she is." Sam said quickly to change topics.

"I doubt it." Dean answered.

"Well. I guess this is where I leave you." Ruby said as the room fell silent.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You're hurt."

"I'm a demon. It'll heal." She replied.

I rolled my eyes. But then an idea struck me… She's weak. Injured. And I have the knife.

I watched as Sam helped her out the doorway, and quickly contemplated my next moves.

"Emily." Dean called out to me. "What are you doing?"

"What?"

"What are you doing with that?"

It wasn't until he asked that I realized I had pulled he knife from my back pocket and wad in a white knuckle grip.

"Nothing." I shot back defensively.

"Give it to me." He said moving to stand in front of me.

"Dean I-"

"I said… give it to me, Em."

"This is our chance." I whispered.

"Not like this." He said back… I could feel the disappointment rolling off of him. "Now give me the knife."

I reluctantly placed it in his hand, and he walked out the door towards the car.

Judson looked down at me with a sad face.

"Come on. Let's get the hell out of here."

…..

We spent the most of the afternoon driving, but finally stopped a small small motel. Showered, ordered take out… watched a crappy old western movie before Judson kissed me goodnight and left to go to his room.

I sat back on the bed and leaned against the headboard.

"I can't believe we made it out of there." Dean said leaning against the wall and sipping his beer.

"Again." Sam chuckled. He reached over from the table and they clinked bottles.

"I know you guys heard him." Dean said with somber expression.

"Who?" I asked.

"Alastair. What he said... about how I had promise."

"Yeah. I heard him." I admitted.

"You're not curious?"

"De, I'm damn curious. But you're not talking about Hell, and I'm not pushing."

He nodded and there was a moment of heavy silence before he opened his mouth again.

"It wasn't four months, you know."

"What?" Sam asked.

"It was four months up here, but down there... I don't know. Time's different. It was more like 40 years."

"My God." Sam whispered.

"They, uh... They sliced and carved and tore at me in ways that you... Until there was nothing left. And then, suddenly... I would be whole again... like magic... just so they could start in all over." Dean began to speak. I leaned forward and listened intently. He stared at the ground and continued. "And Alastair... at the end of every day... every one... he would come over. And he would make me an offer. To take me off the rack... if I put souls on... if I started the torturing. And every day, I told him to stick it where the sun shines. For 30 years, I told him." He paused and took a shaky breath. My heart ached to see him in so much pain… it hurt because he was hurt, and I knew I couldn't fix it. I could only listen. "But then I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't. And I got off that rack. God help me, I got right off it, and I started ripping them apart." Dean began to cry. "I lost count of how many - the things that I did to them."

"Dean... Dean, look, you held out for 30 years. That's longer than anyone would have." Sam assured him.

"How I feel... This... inside me... I wish I couldn't feel anything. I wish I couldn't feel a damn thing."

His face quivered as the tears rolled off his chin. He stood there for a moment. All of us silent, letting the weight of the words come off of him and onto Sam and I. The pain on his face was indescribable. It was torture to see…

If Dean was me, I'd rush to embrace him in a hug. But he's not me. And Dean needs his space.

I waited until he reached up and ran his hand over his face. Then he stepped into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. I wiped a tear of my own before looking up to Sam.

"… Sam."

"Yeah Em?"

"… I still want it all to be behind us. Even if I am angry."

"Me too sweetheart."

"He needs us, and we're not much good if we're fighting."

"Yeah… It's okay that you're mad. I understand."

I nodded. Sam stood and turned off the lights, knowing Dean wouldn't want to discuss this any further tonight. I stretched out and laid in the bed, waiting for Dean to come out.

Eventually the bathroom door creaked open and Dean made his way to lay down on top of the blanket I had wrapped around myself. I waited until he was still to reach across and wind my fingers into his. I squeezed, and he lifted my hand and kissed the back of it.

No words needed… the man who knows me best knows this was me trying to be here, without crowding into his space. The space he needs to process. I hope the weight has been lifted off of his shoulders just a little… I hope he feels even the least bit better.

I just wish I could take away the pain.

I waited until his breaths were even and slow, and then I moved to climb out of the bed. My mind racing from the day, from Dean's confession. I walked over to the window and stared out as the bright full moon lit up the parking lot. Something to the right caught my eye, and my surprise grew as I watched Judson zip up his jacket and take off walking down the side walk.

I quickly tossed on my boots and a small jacket for myself, then I quietly opened and shut the door to follow him. I was sure he was going to get a coke from the vending machine, until he passed it and walked around to the other side of the building.

A heavy feeling began to settle in my gut.

Somethings not right… somethings just off.

I kept my distance but followed as he walked next door to the truck stop and wandered past a row of semi trucks, stopping behind the trailer of one. I held my ground and watched as Castiel appeared from around the corner.

My confusion continued to grow, as did the sinking feeling in my gut.

"How are the Winchesters?" Castiel asked him.

"They're fine. A little emotionally scattered but fine."

"And Emily? Did Anna tell her?"

"No.. I asked her not to. She was a little reluctant, but finally agreed."

Tell me what?! What the hell is this…

"You missed your last two reports."

"I'm sorry. I can't always get away that easily, they're smart people. They'll catch on… look how much longer do we have to do this? I think its pretty obvious she's not a threat."

A threat?... Is he talking about me?

"Watch your tone with me. You were given this assignment on my recommendation and I can remove you from it just as quickly."

… Assignment?

My heart stopped. My knees became weak, and I got the urge to puke. I placed my hand over my mouth and held it in.

"Please, I've already formed a relationship with them. If you pull me now you'll lose access to them."

"A relationship… or a bond? You know what you are doing is frowned upon."

"… I know." Judson answered hesitantly. "But you wanted to know more, and I had to get close to get that information. You know how much it takes to gain their trust."

"I do understand the level of difficulty in the assignment, but I advise you to restrain yourself, or others may not be as understanding as I."

"Anything else?"

"You need to push her, we need to know how are abilities are developing. How they can be used against us."

"How the hell do you expect me to do that?"

"It is not my job to tell you how to do yours."

I stepped out from around the corner.

"No." I said with tears coming down my face. "It's just your job to fool me… fool us. Lie to us."

Judson's eyes met mine with instant panic. I kept my gaze on Castiel for as long as possible, because I knew when they met Judson's that I wouldn't have the strength to hold myself together.

"Emily. Please let me expl-"

"Explain? … No that's okay. I heard enough Castiel. You should go… and leave my family alone."

I looked over to Judson. My heart ripping in half as my eyes met his. I wanted this to be a dream. I wanted it to all be in my head. A nightmare.

"How could you?" I whispered, caged sobs breaking apart the words. I shook my head and began to run back towards the motel.

"Emily! Please! Wait!" He called after me, but I didn't stop. I couldn't. I needed Sam and Dean. I ran around the corner and past the vending machines. Our door within my sights, baby parked in front of it as I heard him gaining on me.

"Emily, please stop!" He begged.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled back as I reached our door and jiggled the knob reaching for my key.

"Emily wait baby, please!" He pleaded as he pushed me away from the door and grabbed my wrists.

"Let go of me!" I yelled through the tears.

"Please baby, let me explain…" He said with glassy eyes.

"No! Stop calling me that!"

"Emily I'm so sorry." He whispered as he tried to hold me against him.

"No… no no no. You lied to me!"

"Emily, I had to! Please… just let me talk to you."

"GET OFF!" I fought.

"HEY!" Dean's voice caused us to turn. "What the hell is going on out here!" He demanded as him and Sam exited the room.

I pulled away from Judson and into Dean's arms.

"I.. I'm sorry." Judson said as he ran his hand through his hair.

"What the hell happened?" Sam asked stepping forward.

"He-e works for the a-a-angels!" I sobbed into Dean's chest.

"What?!" Dean asked in shock.

"Dean, I… I promise. I can explain…" Judson begged, his voice shaky.

"He-he lied…" I sobbed into Dean's chest.

"Em, baby… I'm sorry." Judson cried out.

"Sam take her inside." Dean said as he pulled my arms loose and Sam pulled me to him.

"Sammy…" I cried. "I.. I. He lied about all of it." I sobbed.

"Shhhh… sweetheart. I know."

I hurt so deeply… I wanted to go back outside and yell at him. Hit him, hurt him… hold him. Have him hold me. But why? He betrayed me… used me. Fucked me and reported back to the angels about every move I made. How could he do this? How could anyone do this…

He knew me. He understood me… and now I had to wonder if it was because he really cared, or just because he studied me for this job. His _a_ s _signment_ as Castiel put it.

Sam walked us over to the edge of the bed and rocked me back and forth as I heard the door open and close again, Dean walked past me and straight to the sink. Washing blood off of his knuckles.

"Did… did you hurt him?" I asked hesitantly. My stomach crashing in waves with conflicted emotion.

"Not enough… He was able to walk away." Dean answered grimly.

"De…" I mumbled. "Why did he do this?"

Dean sighed deeply and kneeled down in front of me. Pushing the hair out of my face.

"I don't know kiddo… I don't know."

I reached for him and wrapped my arms around his neck. Dean lifted me like I was a kid again and carried me back to the bed, he sat against the head board and held me until the sobs turned into sniffles.

He reached over and turned off the lights. Sam surrendered to his own bed, and I finally climbed off his lap and over to my own pillow. I clung to it, closing my eyes and wishing that when I wake in the morning all of this will be forgotten… that I won't know what just happened really happened.

Maybe I'll forget, and he'll come back, and it'll be like I never knew.

How sick is that…

To cry for a man who betrayed you in such a way.

I wanted him back… I wanted to never see him again.

I wanted to take back everything I ever gave him.

I wanted to go back and relieve every moment we had together.

I just wanted the hurt to stop.


	76. Chapter 76

Author's Note: Well guys, I had been sitting on that one for a while… so I was SUPER excited to get it out to you… now comes the after math! Please READ and REVIEW! I LOVE YOU ALL!

" _What are you doing?" I giggled as Judson slid into the bed behind me. His warmth covering my bare back._

" _Mmmm… I missed you baby." He hummed into my ear. His lips trailing down my neck. I laced our fingers as his arms encased me._

 _I felt the warmth, the love… the heat between us. The tension that builds as his body rubs against mine._

" _Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?" He whispered. I turned and kissed him. Lips molding together._

" _Not enough." I teased him._

" _Well you are the most beautiful girl in the world."_

" _You're blind."_

" _You're stubborn."_

" _You taste good." I laughed as I kissed him again._

" _What have we here?" A voice called in the dark, a voice that stopped me dead in my tracks. Uriel._

" _What the hell are you doing here?!" I shrieked, using Judson to cover my naked body._

" _One abomination lying with another… disgusting." He hissed._

" _Judson, what is he talking about?" I turned and asked him. He only stared at me, his eyes no longer bright green, but dull and heavy. Red rims released a single tear._

" _I'm sorry…"_

A pot hole in the road jolted me out of the dream and back into the even colder world of reality. When I did the lights in the car lit up, and just as quickly dimmed. Another 'surge' I've triggered. They've been happening a lot since the other night… I'm trying to get ahold on things but, sometimes I can't.

I shivered against the cool leather of the back seat. As I inhaled my stomach flopped, and when I exhaled it rolled in nausea. Not that it hasn't been doing that for the last few days. Every time he pops into my head it happens. Every time I close my eyes and see his, my heart caves in on itself, the aching throb back again.

"You up kiddo?" Dean asked from the front seat, knowing I was from the flashing of the lights.

"I wouldn't be if you knew how to avoid potholes."

"Sorry Em, why don't you try and go back to sleep for a while." Sam offered.

"Can't. I'm up now… what are you doing?"

"Deans pestering me about finding a job."

"Oh. Good."

"God you two are the same person sometimes I swear…" Sam mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean asked with mild offense.

"It means neither of you can face your problems…"

"Sure we can. We just choose not to." I shrugged.

"We could always take a day off. We just finished a case like four hours ago."

"Stratton, Nebraska. Farm town. A man gets hacked to death in a locked room inside a locked house. No signs of forced entry." Dean began to talk, getting Sam off the subject of taking a break.

"Sounds like a ghost." I mumbled.

"Yes, it does." Sam sighed as he flopped over against the window.

"How much longer till we're there."

"About six hours." Dean answered.

I stared out the dark window. It was rainy… not a star in the sky, just wet slick black pavement ahead and behind us.

"You okay?" He asked quietly as the silence dragged on.

"Yes."

"… Sure. Me too."

"Sure."

…..

"Boy, three bedrooms, two baths, and one homicide. This place is gonna sell like hotcakes." Dean smiled as we walked into the kitchen of the old large home.

"Hey, check this out." I called as I knocked on a hollow piece in the wall. "What do you think this means?"

"It's probably a dumbwaiter. All these old houses had them."

"Know-it-all." Dean mumbled.

"What?" Sam asked having not heard him, but thinking maybe he had.

"What?"

"You said..."

"What?"

"Never mind."

I rolled my eyes… idiots. Then I left the room and began to wander up the stairs. It's weird almost, hunting with just my brothers again. Knowing that it's back to just the three of us… I forget that now we can no longer split off two and two to cover each other.

I stood in the doorway of the bed room at the end of the hall on the second floor, staring out the window, down at the impala where it sat in the driveway. I could see him, and myself. Leaned against the back of the trunk, entangled in one another. Laughing, smiling.

"Well, no bloodstains, fresh coat of paint, it's a bunch of bubkes." Dean's voice caused me to jump.

"Needle's all over the place." Sam said as he lifted the EMF into the air.

"Yeah—power lines." I said nodding out the window.

"Great."

Dean walked over and opened up the closet door.

"Uhhh…"

I turned my attention over to him, he and Sam stood in the doorway. I walked over to join them and found a dirty tattered doll head sitting in the floor.

"That's fucking creepy."

"Think it got left behind?" Sam asked.

"By who? Unless Bill Gibson likes to play with doll heads." Dean answered.

I opened my mouth to answer who's it could have been when the sound of tires coming down the road caught our attention. A car followed by a moving van continued towards the house.

"I thought you said this place was still up for sale." I said turning to Dean.

"Thought it was." He shrugged.

"Apparently, it's not." I sighed. "You two handle this shit… I'm waiting inside."

I watched discreetly from the down stairs window as Sam and Dean both went outside, flashing badges, telling lies… same ole story, different town.

My phone began to buzz in my back pocket. I pulled it out and held my breath as my eyes read the name. Judson. I held it until the buzzing stopped, watching the screen go dark. Then it rang again…

I've only gone through these motions a hundred times. At least it feels that way. Everything in me screams 'answer the fucking phone' because I'm dying to hear his voice. But that part of me that lays on the ground in pieces stops me. It stops me from speaking to him because its afraid of being further damaged.

I miss him.

But I shouldn't.

It began to buzz again, this time my grip faltered and it crashed to the ground. I leaned down to pick it up, but someone's hand beat me. Dean's.

He picked up the phone and took one look at it, then at me. I pulled my gaze to the floor before he could see the pain in them.

He hit the small green button on the left and held it to his ear.

"Stop calling asswipe, or I'll beat the shit out of you- again."

He didn't wait for a reply, he didn't wait to hear his voice beg to talk to me… he just hung it up, and handed the phone back to me. I took it and lifted my hands to my mouth, a nervous habit.

"Hey. Look at me." Dean said putting a hand on either shoulder. I tried to pull away gently but he just clung harder.

"What?" I sighed as I looked anywhere but directly at him.

"Emily… look at me."

I surrendered.

"He doesn't get to talk to you. He doesn't get to say sorry anymore, or play games. You deserve more than that. You don't have to do this, we can change your number."

"Dean. He works with angels. A new phone number isn't going to stop him from reaching out."

"Just because he reaches out does not mean you have to answer, okay?"

"I haven't." I whispered as I shrugged out of his grip and crossed my arms.

"Do you want to?"

"I just wanna work the case. Please."

Dean nodded and pulled me into him before kissing the top of my head and leading me back out to the impala. I know that he's focused on me so that he doesn't have to be focused on himself and his own shit right now… but sometimes I just wish I had space.

…

"What did the room look like when you found it, Mrs. Curry?" Sam asked as we sat on the front porch of the house keeper's home.

"I already told the local boys, there was blood everywhere."

"And Mr. Gibson—where was he?" I added.

"Everywhere."

"How long have you been cleaning Mr. Gibson's house?"

"About five years."

"So you knew him pretty well." I assumed.

"Well, not really well. He was real private. Not the easiest man. Not that I blame him."

"What do you mean?" Sam asked her.

"His wife dies in childbirth. Daughter hangs herself in the attic twenty years later. I'd be bitter, too. I think I got some pictures." The woman went inside to rummage through her things.

"You good Em?"

"I'm fine Sam, just trying to work."

"C'mon… don't lie to me."

"Can we not do this right now?" I asked as I caught her walking back towards the door through my peripheral vision.

"Here." She said handing Sam the photos.

"Thanks. Can we keep these?"

"Suit yourself."

"Now, why'd the daughter kill herself?" I asked.

"I don't know. That was before my time."

"Did you ever notice anything odd in the house when you were cleaning it?"

"Like what?"

"Like, you know, like lights going on and off, things not being where you left them."

"No. Well, maybe there was one thing."

"What's that?" Sam leaned in towards her.

"Well, sometimes, I thought I heard like a...rustling in the walls."

"Like a rat?"

"Yeah."

"Must have been some big sons of guns out there, huh?" Sam joked.

"Wouldn't know. Never saw any."

"Do you happen to know where Mrs. Gibson and her daughter were buried?" I asked.

"They were both cremated."

Fuck.

"Thank you for all your help, we'll be in touch." I smiled as I stood and shook her hand, Sam followed and opened the door for me as I climbed in the passenger seat.

"All right. So it probably wasn't the mom or the daughter. Whose ghost was it?" I asked.

"I don't know… I think we should go back and see if we can get them to make an appearance."

"We should pick up Dean first."

"Yeah, I just texted him. He's showering at the motel."

"Okay." I said leaning back against the seat closing my eyes.

"How long are you going to keep this going."

"Keep what going?" I sighed.

"Sweetheart, I know you. I see it, and I don't want you to hide it from me. I know what he did was… I could literally kill him, Em. Okay, so walking around acting like it doesn't hurt. It's not doing you any good."

"What would you rather have me do Sam? Lay on the floor and cry like I want to? Wallow. Mope around in a fucking pity party? He hurt me. But I am still here… you and Dean are still here. I've survived worse and I'm tired of falling apart! I'm tired of being weak and some form of an emotional bomb just waiting to go off… I just. Want to hunt."

Sam didn't say anything in reply, instead he reached out and put his arm over the back of the seat. I slid over a few inches, placing myself under it, and rode the rest of the way in silence.

…

(THIRD PERSON POV)

The motel door opened and Emily was the first one through it.

"Hey." Dean called from the small table where he was on the laptop. Without a reply she walked past him and straight into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. Dean jumped slightly as it closed.

"What the hell was that?" Dean asked as Sam came in and shut the door behind him.

"I don't know." Sam sighed. "I just… thought maybe I could get her to talk to me."

"Well. That seems to have gone really well." Dean mumbled sarcastically.

"Well at least I tried to talk to her Dean!"

"She's not ready yet…"

"So what, we let her walk around like nothings happened until she snaps?"

"When the time comes… she'll talk. She'll cry. She'll wallow for a while."

"And when is that gonna happen?"

"I don't know Sam… But it will happen when it happens, and until then we just stand by and wait."

"Dean, she's going to lose it!"

"Yeah. She is… regardless of what we do, or say, or how much we try to push her to talk about it all. She is going to be a mess, so why push her?"

"I swear." Sam shook his head. "I wish I could just kill him."

"Trust me… I almost did."

"Why do you think they sent some kid to spy on us?"

"Wish I knew. Next time we bump into them I'll be sure to ask… but so far they've not made any appearances. Other than shit head blowing up her phone."

"We should just take it away."

"No. Bad idea… she'll just feel like we're pulling her away from him."

"Isn't that what she wants?"

"No." Dean said confidently. "She still talks about him in her sleep…"

"I don't get it man."

"I don't either Sammy… but there's not much we can do about it till she's ready to tell us."

"Great… so what, back to the house for now?"

"Yup. I'll get her." Dean said as he stood and walked over to the bathroom, knocking on the door. "Hey. We're rolling back to the house."

"Coming." She said back hesitantly. She stood over the sink, staring at her reflection. Wondering if the things he said about her were ever true… or were they just part of the plan.

…

(EMILY'S POV) 

"… Is that a fucking moving van?" I asked as we came over the hill towards the farm house.

"Fuck." Dean groaned. "Stupid stupid stupid people!"

"They probably realized we weren't really from the county." Sam sighed.

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

"I don't know… see what we can scope out from here." Dean said as he discreetly parked behind the large moving truck and we all got out and began to walk to edge of the property. There were lights on inside the house, so we knew they were still awake for now, means no snooping inside the house.

"De. We may just be SOL on this one."

"We can't leave them in there to die Em."

"I know… Its just that this shit just got about ten times more complicated."

"Yeah. It did."

Just then screams began in the house, we exchanged a quick look and then began to run towards the door, Sam meeting us halfway in the yard from where he had been looking on the opposite side of the property.

Dean knocked rapidly on the door, and when it opened we moved inside.

"We heard screams. What's going on?" Dean asked taking in the sight of the family all standing at the bottom of the stairwell, the kids looked freaked.

"Oh, you two! Did you touch my daughter?!" The dad demaned. "And who the hell is she?"

"What? No!" Dean quickly answered.

"Who are you guys?" The other gentleman asked in a not so friendly manner.

"Relax, please. You have a ghost." Sam said frankly.

"A ghost." He scoffed.

"I told you!" The girl screamed, then her brother nodded.

"It's the girl!" He explained.

"Both of you, relax." The dad told them before turning to us. "What are you guys playing?"

"Look. My name is Emily. My brothers and I do this for a living, we are telling you that your family's in danger. You need to get out of the house now. Please." I told him rationally, as he went to speak the lights cut off in the house.

"What the hell?" Someone mumbled.

"Nobody move!" Dean demanded. Just then there were cries and barking from a dog.

"Buster!" The young boy screamed as he bolted outside, everyone quick to follow him.

"Buster! Buster? Buster! Buster!" The dad yelled frantically before we found the moving van with the words 'too late' painted on in in blood… what I could only assume to be dog's blood since the barking has long ceased.

"What the hell?" One of the men yelled.

"Buster!" The little boy cried out.

"Go back inside. Go!" The dad demanded.

"We are not the bad guys, but you're in danger." Dean stopped him as he went to walk past us. He looked between the three of us skeptically but then nodded.

"First thing's first. You got to get your family out of here." Sam told him. "Head to the motel I was talking about. You'll be safe there."

"What are you three gonna do?"

"Handle it." I told him as we moved them towards the cars, but that's when we discovered another problem.

"Oh, no! Oh, come on! Oh, come on!" Dean yelled as he took in the sight of flat tires on every vehicle parked in the yard. Sam rushed over to the car and popped the trunk.

"Dude, the guns are gone. So is the... Basically, everything is gone." Sam calls out.

"Both tires slashed." The dad admitted walking back over from their SUV.

"What kind of ghost messes with a man's wheels?!" Dean screams out.

"Dean, shut up!" I turned and scolded him. "How far is the motel? Or can we trade out some tires to make at least one of the vehicles run?"

"None of them are the same size, Em." He responded.

Just then the young girl screamed in terror.

"She's there! She's there!" She points over to the edge of the woods.

"Where?!" The mom asked frantically.

"She was right there in the woods!"

"What's a ghost doing outside?" I turned and asked my brothers.

"You want to stay and find out?" Sam rebutted.

"Everybody inside." Dean yelled over our arguing.

"Are you crazy? We need to get the hell out of here!" The uncle hesistated.

"In what?! This ghost is hunting us! Everybody back inside now! Move!" Dean yelled back at him, he listened reluctantly and they quickly went back inside. Dean began to lay down a large salt circle in the center of the living room floor.

"Whatever's outside, it can't get in this circle. As long as the salt line is unbroken, this is the safest place to be." He explained.

"Safe from ghosts?" The dad asked skeptically.

"Yes, as a matter of fact." I nodded to him.

"Okay. I'm not listening to this anymore. Come on. I got to get my family out of here. Let's go."

"Nobody's going anywhere until we kill this thing." Dean told him.

"Sir, please. This is what we do. Just...trust us." Sam pleaded with him.

"You hunt ghosts?" The young boy asked.

"That's right."

"Like Scooby-Doo?"

"Better." Dean winked.

"You saw her outside, right? Okay. Does she look like either one of these girls?" Sam asked the young girl as he pulled out pictures that the house keeper gave us earlier.

"Her. She was paler and a lot dirtier, but that was her." She said as she pointed to the picture of the daughter.

"That's the girl in the walls." The little boy leaned over and told us.

"So it's the daughter?" I asked Sam for clarification.

"That girl in the picture—She-She's dead?" The mom asked shakily.

"She killed herself inside this house. And we think her ghost killed her father who lived here previously." I admitted.

"So, what. The maid got her story wrong? Rebecca wasn't cremated?" Dean asked.

"Unless her spirit's just attached to something inside the house." I shrugged.

"She hung herself in the attic, right?"

"You want to babysit? I'll check it out." Sam offered.

"Look—I don't care who hung themselves where. Maybe something is going on here, but—" The uncle tried to argue.

"It's a spirit, man." Dean told him bluntly.

"No, it's just some backwoods hillbilly bitch, and I'm not about to sit around here waiting for her to go all Deliverance on my ass."

"Well, nobody's leaving the house."

"Stop me."

"Listen, man. I've got a gun. You don't get your ass back in that circle, you're gonna have yourself a third hole." Dean smiled to him. He hesitated, but returned to the circle.

"Dude, you don't have a gun. None of us do." I rolled my eyes as Dean turned back to us.

"And? I'm not letting that bastard or anyone else die tonight."

"Alright… yall cool?"

"Yeah, want me to go as back up?" I offered.

"No. I'll be right back. Help Dean incase they mutiny."

"Okay, be careful."

"Yall too."

I sighed as I turned and looked at Dean.

"This one's a mess, De."

"I know Em, We've got get these people the hell out of here somehow."

"Hey. Fonzie. Question for you. This indestructible force field made out of salt... Have to be kosher stuff, or what?" One of the men called out.

"Knock it off, Ted." The mom scolded him.

"Yeah Ted, knock it off, or I'll knock you out." I turned and warned him. He rolled his eyes.

A sound ruffled from behind us, I turned, knife out and ready.

"What was that?" The young girl whispered as Dean and I scanned the dark room. Just then a door in the hall begins to open slowly. "Mom."

The ghost entered the room from the doorway with a sadistic smile on her face. She was so… odd looking. Different from any ghost I'd ever seen before. Dean grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer to his side.

"All right, everybody stay calm. She's a ghost. She can't come in the circle." He told us all as we took a step back towards the family inside the circle. The ghost continued to approach, and pulled out a knife of her own before stepping over the salt line.

"I thought you said ghosts couldn't cross the circle!" The girl behind us cried out.

"Dean! Not a ghost!" I squealed.

"Shoot her! Shoot her!" Ted yelled.

"We don't have a gun, RUN!" I yelled as I pushed them towards the front door. Dean began to struggle with the freaky girl confirming yet again she was NOT a fucking ghost! What the fuck!

"Hey!" Sam's voice yelled out into the darkness, the girl turned to face him and she shined his light in her face, causing her to scream before running and disappearing into the closet again.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" I yelled.

"Daughter's not dead?!" Sam guessed.

"No shit Sherlock!"

"Where's the family?"

"Outside, let's go find everyone." Dean said pushing me towards the door.

We rushed outside and the dad ran up to us.

"Hey. You guys okay?" He asked.

"We're fine. Where is everybody?" Dean asked him.

"Hiding."

"All right, go get them. Go. Go get them.

"So, this is just a girl?" Sam turned and asked us still shocked.

"It's not just a girl. It's psycho Nell. I'm telling you, man—humans." Dean shook his head.

"Its gotta be the daughter right?" I asked.

"Dude, no. She'd have to be like fifty years old by now." Dean disagreed. "What'd you find in the attic?"

"Some old junk. I found Rebecca's diary. That's about it." Sam said as he lifted the book.

"I wish you'd found a howitzer. Listen, we got to get this family safe. I mean, it's just a human, so they can make a run for it. We just got to hold her off."

"Yeah, and try not to get kidnapped or nearly killed again like the last time we faced some humans."

"Danny! Ted! We got to go!" The dad called out as he, his wife, and their daughter came back over to us.

"I'm good! I'm here." Ted said coming out from around the corner.

"Danny! Come on!" The mom called out… but as there was no reply I began to get a sinking feeling.

"Danny, buddy, we got to go!" The dad yelled out for his son.

"Told you it was some crazy bitch." Ted rubbed in our face.

"Yes, you did." Dean answered unamused.

"Head to town. We'll take it from here, okay?" Sam told them.

"Danny, come on, baby! We're leaving!" The mom yelled again… Dammit Danny.

"Dean. Where's the kid?" I leaned over to him and mumbled. He gave me a worried look.

"Brian, where—Where is he?" The mom asked. "Danny!" She yelled panicked as she saw the look on his face when he didn't have an answer.

"Suse, Suse, Suse. We will find Danny, I promise you." The dad said as he held her by the shoulders.

"No." She cried.

"No. Take Kate and go now. Now, while you still have a chance."

"Not without Danny."

"We will find him."

"I am not going out there with Mom alone." The girl crossed her arms.

"She's right. Until we find your son, the safest place for you right now is in the shed." I told them honestly.

"I am not going in there either."

"Yes, you are. It is the best defense. The windows are boarded up. It's got one door. It's our best shot right now. Trust me." Dean told them.

"I'll go with them." I volunteered.

"You're just a kid too! What are you gonna do?!"

"Kate right?" I asked her. She nodded "Kate, I may only be 17, but I've been hunting monsters and ghosts for 17 years. I can do a lot more than you think I can. GO." I told her as I pointed towards the shed.

"Hey Em… keep an eye on them. Board up the doors." Dean told me before I left to catch up with them.

"You two be careful, and find my fucking gun." I said before jogging off.

I caught up to Susan and Kate at the shed and cleared it before pushing them inside and barricading the door behind us. It was dark, dusty, and had a few old gardening supplies.

"Great." I groaned.

"I don't understand any of this… who is that girl?" The mom asked.

"We don't really know yet. But. Whoever it is most likely killed the man who lived here. And she would have killed you guys too. She's… a monster."

"Why would she do something like that?"

"I really don't know… We were researching this like it was a ghost, not a psycho. We've gotta go back to square one."

"So. Ghosts are real?" Kate asked me.

"Yes. They are very real, some of them are harmless but some of them are angry spirits who want to hurt people."

"Oh my god…" She mumbled.

"Trippy right?" I joked softly. "Trust me that's all you want to know about."

"No its not." She jumped, curiosity in her eyes.

"Yes. It is." The mom scolded her.

"So you grew up hunting ghosts? Why?" she asked me instead.

"Its what my family does… my Mom was killed by something in the supernatural world, and my Dad was fixated on it. He raised us to hunt them too."

"Did you find what killed her?"

"Yes. And he's dead now." I nodded.

"So why not quit? Try and live a normal life?" Susan asked. I chuckled.

"We don't fit really… we 've kind of tried to play with the idea of settling down somewhere, but. We never really could make it work. Besides, if we did. Who would be there to help people like you?"

"Touche." Susan smiled. "I wish people like you weren't needed. Not that I'm not thankful for your help, but. It makes me even more terrified of the world we live in.

"Yeah. I get that." I smiled back.

"Was it hard?" She then asked me.

"What?"

"Growing up on the road, without a mom?"

I took a deep breath before answering.

"Yes." I finally spoke. "But those two men out there, my brothers. They are two of the best men on the planet, and they went above and beyond to raise me the best they could. My dad was gone on hunts more often than not, so. Yes, it was hard. But having them made it easier."

"Family is everything." Susan said with a tear in her eye.

"We're going to get him back, Susan. Sam and Dean don't back down. They don't give up… they'll die getting him back before they let you leave this place without him."

"Thank you." She said as she attempted to pull herself together, holding Kate in her arms.

I leaned back against the counter attached to the wall, but then my pocket began to buzz. I pulled out my phone expecting it to be Sam or Dean… but it wasn't.

I stared at the phone as my stomach flopped. Part of me wished he would stop calling… the other part of me holds onto the hope that one day I'll be able to actually answer it and hear his voice.

"It's a boy right?" Kate's voice caused me to jump.

"You phone. It's a boy." I stared at her for a moment. "Like you said… you're still a teenage girl."

"Yeah. It's a boy." I admitted as I stashed my phone back in my pocket.

"Why didn't you answer it?"

"Because I can't."

"He did something wrong huh?"

"Kate. Drop it." Susan scolded her.

"No. It's okay… she's right. He did do something very wrong. He lied."

"Ugh. I know what that feels like." Kate sighed and shook her head. I gave her a soft smile, and tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

Just then there was rustling outside the door. Susan and Kate backed into the corner and I stood in front of them, knife pulled and ready.

"Em, open up!" Sam's voice called out.

"Sam?" I asked as I moved the barricade and opened the door for him and the dad, Brian, to come inside."

"Find anything?" I asked. Sam shook his head in disappointment.

"What about Dean?" He asked.

"Haven't seen him yet… just you two."

"Well, maybe that's a good thing."

"Maybe."

"You good?"

I went to answer him, but my phone buzzed again. I jumped to grab it, hoping again it would be Dean. But yet again I was faced with his name lit up across the screen.

"Is it him?"

"Yeah." I whispered as I shut the phone and placed it back in my pocket.

"How many times has he called tonight?"

"Just a few."

"Em, You wanna swap phones for a while?"

"No, Sammy… I just want to find this kid." I said as I leaned into him. He pulled his arm around me and rubbed his thumb on my shoulder.

"Look, why are we just standing here? Let's go in. Let's check the house." Brian insisted.

"We have to wait for those guys to get back, okay?" Sam replied.

Just then another knock hit the door.

"Dean?" I called out.

"Yeah. Open up."

Sam and I pulled the door opena gain and let Dean in… but it was only Dean.

"Did you get Danny?" Susan asked.

"No."

"No? Well, where's Ted?"

"He's outside." Dean answered as he looked down at the ground… I knew then this was bad.

"Well, why doesn't he come inside?"

"Because I had to carry him out. I'm sorry."

"You're...what does that mean? What does that mean, you're sorry?"

"Are you saying that he's dead?" Brian asked.

"No. No, he's not saying that he's dead. You're not saying that, are you?" Susan asked with tears in her eyes.

"We were in the walls and she attacked."

"Oh my god. It's going to be like Andy all over again."

"And I couldn't get to him in time."

"Uncle Ted is dead?" Kate cried.

"I shouldn't have left him alone. I'm very sorry." Dean replied before moving back outside of the shed.

"De, wait." I called after him as I followed. "Dean… it's not your fault."

"I should have been watching him."

"Yeah well Ted isn't exactly the kind of guy to be babysat. I'm sure you did everything you could."

"We gotta find this kid Em."

"I know. You said she got him in the walls? Did you get all the way through the house."

"No. I turned around after I found fido's corpse and Ted got killed."

"So we go back in. I can fit in there no problem."

"No way… you're not going in there until we have something more than a knife to defend ourselves with."

"Well, Dean. Like you said we've got to do something! Danny's just a kid and he's in there somewhere alone."

"I know… I know. Just. Let me think for a minute."

Just then Brian and Sam came out to join us. Sam had the diary in his hands, and Brian stared up at the house.

"Who's Andy?" I asked softly.

"Our oldest. He got himself killed in a car accident last year."

"I'm sorry."

"It nearly tore Suse and I apart. Still could, I imagine. That's why we moved here. Fresh air, fresh start. Not even my line. Marriage counselor. 'Course, she might be right. After all, what could possibly go wrong in the country?"

"I'm getting your son back. If it's the last godforsaken thing I do." Dean told him.

"Why do you care so much?"

"Dean, Em… come check this out." Sam called us over. Brian nodded as we walked away.

"We gotta talk. Rebecca's diary. I just finished reading it."

"And?" Dean asked.

"That girl back there? Pretty sure she was Rebecca's daughter."

"Rebecca had a kid?"

"It's all she talks about. Being pregnant, being ashamed of being pregnant."

"Jeez, rent Juno and get over it. Wait, why kill herself after the baby?" I asked.

"Maybe because her dad called her a dirty little whore and said he was gonna lock the baby up."

"Why would he say that?..." I pondered for a moment while Sam gave me a knowing look.

"Oh gross!" Dean said catching on, which led to me catching on and gagging in my mouth.

"Yeah."

"So the daddy was the babydaddy too?"

"Dude was a monster, Dean."

"Wow, a story ripped from an Austrian headline. Humans, man. So she's been locked up her whole life?"

"You saw her eyes. Has she ever seen light? She's barely human."

"Okay, so, what, then, she's been caged up like an animal and she busts out and ganks dear old Dad? Slash Granddad?" I asked.

"I guess."

"Well, can't say I blame her." I crossed my arms.

"I'm sure her life was hell, Em. It doesn't mean she gets a free pass for murder."

"Like you know what hell's like." Dean mumbled.

"I didn't..."

"Forget it."

"So where do we find her?" Getting them back on track.

"Kid's gotta eat, right?" Dean asked.

"What?"

"He kept her hidden, locked up, but he had to feed her, didn't he?"

"I guess."

"I think I know where." Dean said as he led us into the house. He busted a hole in the kitchen wall where the hollow spot I knocked on earlier was.

"Could've kept her hidden here for years. Kept her fed, nobody would ever know." Dean said as he stepped back. Brian coming in behind us and yelling down the shaft.

"Danny! Danny!"

"Watch out, I'm going down." Dean pushed him aside.

"No. That's my son."

"I know it is, but I said that I would get him. I will. Let me."

"Hey, you got curtains? We need rope." Sam asked Brian as he stepped back.

We tied curtains together to make a make-shift rope and lowered Dean down the hole.

"De becareful!" I called down to him. He nodded. Then he disappeared when he hit the bottom and moved to the side.

"Maybe one of us should go down with him." I said to Sam.

"No way, Dean would kill me for sending you down there or leaving you up here. Just wait with me."

"Ughhh… this was so much easier when it was four of us." I sighed. Sam put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

We waited for a few moments before we could hear shuffling.

"Dean?! Dean!" I called down, just then Danny appeared in the hole.

"Danny!" Brian yelled with relief.

"Danny! Grab the rope!" Sam yelled as he pulled him back up.

"Okay!" Danny yelled as he tied himself into the curtains.

"Pull." Sam said to Brian and I as we walked backwards and pulled him up the shaft.

"Come on, buddy. Come on, buddy. Don't look back, Danny. Just come on, come." Brian called to him.

"Come on. You okay? It's okay." Brian comforted him as we finally got him back into the kitchen.

"Danny, where is Dean?" I asked him.

"He's down there with her brother."

"Shit." I said leaning back down the shaft. "DEAN!"

"Get him out of here. You gotta go." Sam pushed Brian and Danny towards the door.

"Sam! I'm going down."

"Emily! No." He yelled but it was too late, I was half way down the shaft. I dropped my grip on the curtains and dropped the rest of the way down, then I entered the crawl space.

"Dean!" I yelled as I could hear the struggle. The further I crawled the clearer I could hear them. I kept going until I came upon our stash of stuff from the trunk. I dug for my gun and smiled when I pulled it out, locked and loaded.

"Dean! I'm coming!" I called out as I kept going.

I finally came on the site of two people struggling, in the dark I could hardly make out which one was Dean, but once I was sure the man on top was far too small to be my giant brother I took my shot. Three to be exact. All to the back of the head.

The man collapsed to the ground as Dean pushed him to the side.

"Dean, De are you okay!?"

"I'm good! Where's Danny?"

"He's out already, Sam and Brian got him… let's get the hell out of here.

"Yeah… hey. Thanks kiddo."

"Anytime old man." I winked at him before we both crawled out.

….

"Thanks for the head start." Dean said as he finished replacing the tires on the impala.

"Why doesn't it surprise me you guys don't like the police?" Brian asked.

"It's sort of a mutual-appreciation thing, really." I shrugged innocently.

"Well, thank you." Brian reached out and shook each of our hands.

"Thank you." Susan smiled as she hugged her children to her.

"You okay?" Dean asked her.

"No, we're the opposite of okay, but we're together."

"Family is everything." I smiled to her, she nodded in reply.

We quickly bailed out of town and started our drive to anywhere but there. I sat in the backseat and picked at the fries Dean stopped and got, but I just couldn't find my appetite.

"You okay?" Sam asked out loud. I was fixing to scold him for asking me AGAIN when I realized it wasn't me he was talking to… It was Dean. Who had unwrapped his food, but then wrapped back up again before even starting to eat it.

"You know, I felt for those sons of bitches back there. Lifelong torture turns you into something like that."

"You were in hell, Dean. Look, maybe you did what you did there, but you're not them. They were barely human."

"Yeah, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse. They were animals, Sam, defending territory. Me? I did it for the sheer pleasure."

"What?" I leaned up and asked. Dean took a long deep breath before answering again.

"I enjoyed it, Em. They took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I liked it. All those years, all that pain. Finally getting to deal some out yourself. I didn't care who they put in front of me. Because that pain I felt, it just slipped away. No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever."

"Dean… you can't put that on your soul. You can't carry that around and still be human. No one can. It's too much."

"I made that bed. Now I'll lay in it." He answered somberly before turning up the radio.

Without another word I sat back against the seat. Exchanging a worried glance with Sam before going back to picking at fries. I was almost asleep when my phone let out a short buzz from the seat beside me. I lifted it… a text.

This was the first time he had texted me and not called me. I held my shaking finger over the open button, but then decided I would rather be alone when I read it. And that wasn't going to happen for another few hours at least…

So until then I shoved the phone down into the floorboard underneath all of my bags. Putting the most distance I could between it and I… not that t helped with the lump in my throat every time I thought about what It might say.

Not that it stopped me from reconsidering opening it now every five minutes.

Not that it stopped me from being completely and totally fucking miserable the entire ride.

….

We finally reached a motel to bunk down at for the night. A place to shower, sleep, decide on our next move. It was a quiet town. Small, but well populated. The motel was as clean as any other we've stayed in. Definitely been in worse.

The walls were soft green, the beds covered in floral pattern, and small wooden furniture set up in the corner of the room next to one of the two queen beds.

The TV played some trash reality show, just to keep noise going in the background. Not because any of us are actually interested in watching it. Sam picked at pizza while he did whatever it is he does on his laptop… Dean drank his beer and pretended to watch the TV.

I sat on the bed. Staring at my bag that contained my phone.

"I'm going to take a shower." I said as I reached for it and stood.

"Leave me some hot water for later." Dean called out.

"Yeah." I said nervously.

"Hey… you okay?" Sam asked.

Do I tell them… do I keep it to myself.

I'm tired of keeping all this shit to myself… I'm tired of pretending it doesn't hurt every second of every day.

"Em?" Sam called again when I didn't answer.

"… He sent me a message, and I haven't opened it yet."

"Oh." Sam said softly. "Well… do you want to?"

"Yeah." I said as a tear rolled its way down my cheek.

"Do you want to be alone?" Dean asked next.

"I don't know." I confessed.

Dean stood and walked over to me, taking the bag out of my hands and sitting on the bed as he dug out the phone, he held it in his hands for a moment before holding it out to me.

I took it hesitantly.

"Open it, kiddo. We're right here."

I leaned against the wall and slid down it. My hands shook slightly as I flipped open the phone and slowly opened my inbox… then clicked on the closed message with his name beside it.

"De…" I whispered. "I don't know if I can."

"Then delete it." He shrugged.

"I can't do that."

"Well then read it… babygirl this is not going to get easier until you face it. If you don't want to, then I'm fine with that too. But you need to make a decision one way or the other."

"Why did he do this?"

"I don't know."

"Why did I believe any of it?"

"Because he was a damn good lair. He fooled us all."

I wiped my eyes and then picked the phone back up. I just glanced at the message, it wasn't short. It was lengthy, and I knew it would be hard to get through. But I had to start somewhere.

Judson: Please. Stop ignoring my calls… I have to talk to you. I need to explain everything. I know you think I did something to hurt you, but there's so much more to it. If you would just talk to me baby, please. I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. I miss you every minute of every day, just… call me. Please call me. I'm never far away.

"He wants to talk." I mumbled as I tossed the phone down to the ground.

"That's all it says?"

"No. Dean… it went on and on about how he was sorry, and how he missed me. How he loved me and never meant to hurt me." I said trying to hold back my tears. "But none of that matters… so yeah. Basically all it says is that he wants to talk."

"Sweetheart, it's not that it doesn't matter. It's just that you can't know that he means it. Not after everything else he lied about. We just don't want you to fall into some trap." Sam said.

"Well then what do I do? Cause it hurts… every fucking day, Sam. I mean I can't just never talk to him again. The thought of never seeing him again literally feels like it might kill me. Cause I miss him so fucking much!" I cried as I pulled up my knees.

Dean moved down the ground to sit on one side of me, and then Sam moved to the other.

"But if I do see him again, talk to him… listen to what he has to say. Is it gonna hurt more? Is it gonna make things worse? Cause I'm not sure I can take anything more. I… I feel stupid! I feel so stupid for believing him."

"It's not your fault Em. He fooled us all." Dean said as he swung and arm over me and pulled me into his side. Rubbing his hand up and down my shoulder.

"I thought he loved me." I cried.

"I know babygirl… I know." Dean cooed. "How about I run out… get us some cheesecake, and some movies, and some new comfy sweat pants to mope around in? Huh? Couple days in bed with some take out, lots of chocolate?"

"I don't wanna be some stupid teenage girl. I wanna be better than that."

"Em, you are a teenage girl. It's called wallowing. And you get a right to own it every once and a while… this is one of those times." Sam encouraged me.

"Can we watch The Notebook?" I whimpered as I gave Dean puppy dog eyes.

"Yes." He said with his head hung low. "As many times as you want."


	77. Chapter 77

Author's note: Guys…. I am SO sorry its taken so long. For those of you who read both stories I admitted in my most recent post in Healing Sara that I just had some personal things going on… well. It's just not getting better anytime soon. So please be patient with me as things work out (hopefully) and get better. I have a nice long chapter for you all! I really hope you enjoy it! I loved writing it- even if it did take me weeks and little bits at a time to do so. I love you all so much… you truly have no idea what it means to me to be able to escape real life for just a little while and fall into this world instead. And then to have your gracious and humbling comments to lift my spirits…. It means more than I can put into words. Please READ and REVIEW! I promise I will try harder to update more often. 3

I picked up the remote, and hit play… watching the same movie for the fourth time in the row, but hey. It's only 3 am… plenty of hours to kill. I laid on the foot of the bed, my pillow propped up against Sam's legs as he slept behind me. I kept the volume on the TV down to a minimum. Trying not to wake either of my brothers who fell asleep during the second round of this movie. I know Dean said he was down to watch the notebook over, and over, and over again… but the guy can only give me so much. He can only watch me cry for so long before it exhausts him too.

When he wakes up in the morning he'll feel guilty though, for not staying up with me. I hate that about him… he feels the need to carry every burden on his shoulder. I don't know how I'm going to get him past Hell… he'll never let himself be forgiven by God or anyone. He'll never feel the same about himself.

All of this only makes me want to cry more.

So I reached over and grabbed the fork laying next to the last 3 pieces of cheesecake… and started the cycle over again.

Noah, he truly loved her… I thought Judson truly loved me. I bought into it. All of it.

I believed every lie out of his mouth.

When I stop to think about the ways he manipulated me… the way he pulled me to talk. Tricked me into opening up to him, it makes me want to puke.

What makes it all worse?

I miss him… every fucking minute of every fucking day I want him to come busting through the door and have some amazing excuse and apology for what he's done. I want him to cry, and beg, and plead, and then I want him to hold me… love me.

Fuck, I'm disgusting. What kind of person wants someone like that back in their lives? What kind of person puts themselves through that kind of torture…

But here I still sit. Staring at that damn phone in the floor.

I've contemplated writing him back since I opened the damn thing, but I knew I couldn't do it while my brothers were watching. And quite frankly I'm not sure I can do it at all… it'll be the first time I've made contact back. Will it open up a can of worms? Will he blow my phone up non stop once he sees that I'm caving.

… Or will he just mysteriously show up like he always does.

My worst fear and my most coveted desire all in one.

…..

4 DAYS LATER

(Third Person POV)

Sam was the first one awake as usual, they hadn't left the motel room that they stopped in after their last hunt, and even though he and Dean had both found multiple hunts to jump on neither of them brought it up… because it was obvious that Emily wasn't ready.

She barely slept, and when she did it was usually because she passed out of exhaustion at 4 am and slept till the brothers began to stir. Sam was careful to be quiet as he scooped her up and placed her in the same spot he had just vacated. Tucking the blankets in around her. He picked up the phone she left laying on the end of the bed and opened it… 4 new messages.

He rolled his eyes as he opened them and read the begging and pleading for a reply. If Sam had his way Emily would never speak to the boy again, but he knew it was just a matter of time before she caved, because she isn't the kind of person to just walk away. She's the kind of girl who wants answers. Wants closure.

"Did he call again?" Dean grumbled as he smoothed down his bed head while sitting up on the side of the bed.

"Texted, multiple times. Again."

"Little shit…" Dean mumbled.

"Dean. I think maybe we need to get out of here. I mean its been the better part of a week, and she's not getting any better. She's just moping."

"Yeah, I know. I figured a couple days and she'd be ready to bounce back… but. This one's really got a hold of her."

"Two more days Dean, then what are we gonna do?"

"I know… 18. It blows my mind Sammy."

"Well it blows my mind she's gonna spend it moping around in this room if we don't snap her out of this."

"I know." Dean sighed. "I know."

Dean's heart was already spinning at the thought of her 18th birthday. His little girl all grown up. He knew the fights would get worse, she would pull the 'adult' card on him the first chance she got when things get heated. And damn he dreaded that. But at the same time he felt a sense of pride for getting her here. It's no secret that their lives are deadly on a daily basis, and for him to have gotten her through it for 18 years gave him a sense of pride and relief he couldn't even describe.

"Tell ya what." Dean said as he stood. "You pack up all our shit, I'll gas up baby, and we'll just drag her ass out of here."

"You sure?" Sam asked.

"Yep. She'll sleep better in the car anyways. Always does."

"Okay. Where we headed?"

"We'll figure that out later, let's just get out of this room before she has a chance to wake up and argue with us."

….

(Emily's POV)

For days I've woken up feeling just as tired as I was when I went to bed, but this time as I stretched I felt relaxed. I felt rested, and then I felt something up against my feet. Hard.

I opened my eyes and quickly realized I was in the backseat of baby. Home. My foot rubbing against the door. I rolled over to lay on my back and stretched as much as I could in the limited space. I let my eyes fall on the roof, the brightness of the sun making me squint slightly.

"Hey there sleeping beauty." Dean teased.

I snickered as I sat up and crawled over the back of the front seat, where they both slid to make room for me to slither between the two of them. I snuggled under Dean's arm and slid my cold toes under Sam's long legs, he must have felt my shiver because he instantly started rubbing against my legs for friction.

"How long was I out?"

"I don't know, what time did you fall asleep?" Sam asked.

"Around the 4th time I finished Me Before You. That one's worse than the notebook." I confessed.

"Well it's about 3 in the afternoon, so probably a solid 10 hours or so."

"Why didn't you guys wake me when we left?"

"Honestly Em, we just thought maybe it'd do you some good to get out of there." Dean said as he leaned down and briefly kissed the top of my head.

"Where's my phone?"

"You don't want it. Trust me."

"Dean…I have to answer him eventually."

"Not really." Sam shrugged.

"Yes really… I just. I don't know."

"Emily you don't have to ever answer him again. You owe him nothing." Sam vehemently explained.

"I know Sam. But he owes me an explanation. And I want one… I'm just scared of what it is."

"Well what is the worst thing he can tell you?"

"That the angels are plotting to kill me? That god doesn't want me to live? That I'm evil?... at the very least he could tell me that he fucked me to get information, and that everything he ever told me was a lie."

"I swear I'm gonna kill him." Dean said gripping his hands on the wheel.

"Not yet." I sighed.

"And what if he comes back and tells you he loves you, that he was forced into this or some shit… then what?"

"Then I don't know Dean. I don't think he was forced… he talked to Castiel like I was his job or something. He didn't seem to have some kind of angelic gun to his head over the last year or so. So I don't know."

"Well I'm as anxious to hear this load of shit come out of his mouth as you are… I say we just meet the kid somewhere, let him talk, and then kill him."

"I… I don't wanna see him yet Dean."

"How have your abilities been?" Sam asked switching subjects.

"Pretty chill since I decided to cry out every ounce of emotion I have."

"Good." Sam nodded.

"If you say so."

"So uh, you got any plans for the next few days?" He smiled to me.

"If you're asking whether or not I want to celebrate that's a hard pass."

"Em you only get one birthday to turn 18. Don't piss it away because of this douche bag."

"It's not just him Sam. We've got shit with the angels, seals breaking and Lucifer trying to crack free, plus we still have Lillith on the to-do list. And if nothing else… there's a ton of hunts waiting for us."

"Are you sure? Maybe you wanna swing through and just have some cheesecake at Bobbys? I know he'd love to see you kiddo." Dean suggested.

"Yeah… I guess that would be okay." I shrugged.

"Okay. I'll let him know we're coming." Sam smiled at me.

"So where are we headed to now?"

"Um, you probably won't remember it cause you were too young but there is a death at Truman High. We're almost into town now. Sam's gonna go have a chat with the girl we think was possessed at the time."

"Truman?" I asked scanning my memories. "How old was I?"

"I don't know. Couldn't have been more than 7? Probably in first or second grade."

"Hmm. Don't remember it."

"Lucky you." Dean sighed.

…..

"So?" Dean asked as Sam climbed back into the car and we pulled away from the nut house.

"I think she's telling the truth. I mean, the way she talked about being there mentally but not physically - kind of sounds like demonic possession to me."

"Kind of?" I questioned.

"She didn't see any black smoke or smell sulfur."

"Maybe it's not a demon. I mean, people do all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons… right? Some people are just shitty." I shrugged. Sam looked down at me sadly.

"Well, I mean, we're already here. Might as well check out the school."

"Right. The school." Dean nodded.

"What?"

"Truman High, home of the Bombers." Dean cheered unenthusiastically.

"What's your point?"

"I mean, we went there, like... for a month a million years ago. Why are you so jazzed to go back?"

"I'm not. I just think it's worth looking into." Sam defended.

"All right, well, what's our cover? Send Em in as a student? What about us?"

"What?! Really? Incase you assholes forgot that didn't go well for us last time."

"Don't worry Em, you won't be in there alone. I got an idea."

"I don't want to be in there at all Sam!"

"C'mon kiddo… you're still young enough to pull it off." Dean pouted with his bottom lip pushed out.

"Ughhhh. FINE! But this is the last fucking time, I am 18 in two days and I am DONE going back to highschool after that!"

"Yeah yeah." Dean rolled his eyes at me.

"This sucks." I sighed as I sat back in the seat and pouted.

….

(FLASHBACK- Third Person POV)

The impala rolled to a stop in front of the main school building, John stopped softly as Dean opened the door and climbed out, no bag in tow, just a pen and pencil tucked into his leather jacket… which also contained a few knives he was sure to hide well.

Sam leaned over and unbuckled Emily's seat belt for her since she always seems to struggle with it, then he climbed out with both their bags in hand before reaching out to help her jump out of the backseat.

"Bye Daddy I love you!" She waved excitedly from the open front passenger window.

"Bye bye babygirl, you listen to your brothers while I'm gone."

"When will you be back?" She asked under long lashes.

"Hopefully in a few days, I'll bring you back a surprise. Okay?"

"Really?!" Her big brown eyes opened wide.

"Promise. Love you babygirl." John smiled as she finally turned back to her brothers. "Dean. Watch them, you know the rules."

"Yes sir, I got em." Dean nodded.

John pulled away and watched in the rearview mirror as his three children moved from the edge of the sidewalk. His heart was used to leaving his children behind, but that never made it hurt any less.

Once away from the road and any listening ears Dean stopped in front of Sam.

"Got your lunch? Books? Butterfly knife?" He asked.

"Yeah, Dean." Sam sighed.

"You okay?"

"Sure."

"What's wrong Sammy?" Emily asked pulling on his sleeve.

"I mean, look, this is the third school we've been to this year, and it's only November. I'm just sick of always being the new kid." He confessed to Dean.

"You'll be fine. If anyone gives you any trouble, you let me know. Relax. Dad said this hunt will take him two weeks, tops. As soon as he gets back, we're out of here."

"Two weeks?" Emily asked sadly. "Daddy said hopefully just a few days."

"I know babygirl, and I hope that's true but I always plan for longer than that." Dean said as he knelt in front of her. "What about you? You got your lunch and your pencil bag?"

"Yes." She nodded. "Dean… will you walk me to class?"

"Of course." He smiled as he kissed her on the cheek, then he turned back to Sam. "I'm gonna take her and then get to class. You good?"

"Yeah it's whatever."

"Hey. Cheer up Sammy… you get to see this cute little bug again in six hours." Dean smiled as he tickled Emily causing her to bust out into laughter. Sam chuckled and kissed the top of her head before he left them and walked into the main building.

"Where's my class at?"

"Well babygirl I think you are in the building over there." Dean pointed to the much smaller building with the attached playground as he began to walk towards it with her in tow.

"How come I can't be in class with you and Sammy?"

"Well. Can you write in cursive yet?"

"No…" She said confused.

"Well you gotta learn that first kiddo."

"Oh. Are my friends from the other school going to be here?"

"No sweetheart, they stayed at the old school. But you will make new friends. You always do."

"De. How come we have to keep making new friends? Do the other ones not like me anymore? Is that why we have to keep leaving?"

"What?" Dean stopped and turned to look her eye to eye.

"Well… I really liked my friends at the last school. But I thought since we had to leave so fast maybe they didn't like me. I don't want Sammy to have to keep leaving because of me."

"No, no no… Em this has nothing to do with you. I promise. We had to leave because Dad had to work. That's why we leave, okay? Your friends always like you."

"Okay." She nodded hesitantly.

"Hey. Guess what I made you for lunch." Dean smiled as he started them walking again.

"I don't know." She shrugged.

"Well guess silly!"

"Ummm… turkey?"

"Nope. PB & J… plus I managed to sneak some cookies in there." Dean winked to her.

"I love PB & J!" She jumped excitedly.

"I know! It's your favorite!"

"Well I'm not sharing it with ANYONE cause I'm gonna be hungry when lunch comes… do you know that lunch is 3 hours away from now! That's like FOREVER De!"

Dean laughed at her dramatic tone.

"It sure is kiddo, okay… this one's you. I'll pick you up outside as soon as class gets out okay?"

"Okay." She nodded up and down.

"Do you remember the rules?"

"Don't talk to strangers. Don't leave with anyone but you or Sammy. And don't take no shit." She smiled.

"Shhhh!" Dean said as he looked around to make sure no one heard. "You're not supposed to say that word and you know it Emily Anne!"

"Well that's the rule you always tell Sammy…"

"Well, that's different."

"How come?"

"Okay. Into class you go! Don't say 'shit' while you're in there." Dean said as he pushed her towards the door before he could get caught up in one of her question games.

"Bye De! Love you."

"Love you." He waved as the door closed behind her.

…..

(Present time- Emily's POV)

"Here is your schedule, and you have the second lunch hour so try and make sure you have a good breakfast in the mornings dear." The secretary smiled as she handed me the papers.

"Thanks." I tried to smile back. Truth is I'm pissed I'm even in this fucking building. I hate high school… nothing good ever comes from working cases in schools.

I started down the hallway to my first class, thank God it was something simple like Art. Doesn't require a lot of thinking ya know? Cause my mind is barely focused enough on this case as it is. Trying to watch for anything suspicious while trying to blend it while trying to forget about the guy that has been lying to you for the last year of your life is a little difficult.

I walked in and was happy to find there weren't conventional desks or tables sprawled out. There were about 15 different stations set up with an easel, blank canvas, and a bucket of various paints. I moved and stood by the one closest to the door, and thankfully away from the group of girls that were gathered on the other end of the room gossiping about something or another. I quietly slid my bag off my shoulder and make sure my knife was well tucked.

I looked around for a stool or anything to sit on, but couldn't find one. I was just about to ask someone when a young 20 something man in a button up and bowtie walked in.

"Morning everyone." He cheered.

"Morning Mr. Tanner." One of the girls in the back smiled widely at him.

Seriously? This guy is the teacher? Good grief… Tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, dark skinny pants to match the bowtie. He's definitely not someone I'd pursue, a little too hipster for my taste but damn I had to admit his ass sure looked nice in those tight pants.

"As you all can see there is a brand new blank canvas in front of you… un- blank it. Paint me something that's weighing on your mind… paint me something that haunts you, that comforts you, or anything in between. But let me see something about YOU. This will be a grade, so please put some effort into it." He added before he sat on the edge of his desk. Everyone in the room quickly began to chat and mingle, swapping paint colors out with the large stack on the table in the corner of the room, throwing paint onto the board and mixing colors.

But I sat and stared at the canvas. I've never painted in my life, and I just knew that I would be embarrassing myself by starting now.

"Excuse me." A voice called from behind. "You must be the new student, I'm Mr. Tanner."

"Yeah, Uh. I'm Emily." I smiled softly.

"Well Emily. I hope you don't mind the seating arrangement in here, but I think the juices flow better when the blood flows better… plus they pretty much make you kids sit on your ass all day long anyways. Figured a change of pace was due."

"Yeah. I was kinda curious about that at first." I nodded. "But I kinda like this better."

"Good… so what are you thinking about painting?"

"Um. I don't know. I've never painted before."

"Never? Not even water paints in kindergarten?"

"Um. Not that I can remember no." I shrugged.

"Well. Your in luck. Cause painting is the easiest thing in the world."

"Uh. I'm not sure I follow?"

"You just pick up the brush, open a color, and let it move you."

"Let it move me?"

"Yes, your brain tells your hand what to do… even if you don't realize where it's going. It'll happen."

"Um. Okay." I said confused.

"I'll check in with you in a bit."

I nodded as he moved onto the next student, and then I turned back to the blank canvas and sighed. I guess when in Rome…

I picked up the brush, and opened the color red. It was stark, and bold, and powerful. I began with small strokes, just filling in blank space, but then they became wider, longer. And more purposeful.

…

When the lunch bell rang I darted into the hall and looked for my next class, but stopped dead in my tracks as I caught a glimpse of Sam at the end of the hall, full janitor suit and all. I shook my head and made my way towards him.

"Seriously? Cleaning toilets was your big plan? Where's Dean. I'd love to see him scrub shit."

"He's not a janitor… Hey. Meet me in the gym on your lunch."

"Sure. Find anything yet?"

"No. Place is clean… well. Not literally clean, but no sulfur."

"Maybe De's right. Maybe she just went crazy."

"I don't know Em. I think there's more to it."

"Okay." I sighed.

"You okay? Anyone giving you a hard time?"

"No big scary brother. No one's picking on me."

"Very funny." He said shooting me the bitch face.

"I'm just as fine as I've been the last few days."

"I wouldn't exactly call that fine Em."

"Call it whatever you want. I'm walking. I'm talking. I even ate a power bar. So I'm making it."

"See you at lunch." He said sadly. I nodded and went back to finding my next class.

….

The next class I had was home-ec. At least Dean had the decency not to put me in a bunch of history and math classes. He knows I hate that shit. Apparently today we're making homemade salsa… I could definitely think of worse ways to spend the next hour.

I was partnered with a guy who seemed more interested in his phone then talking to me… which was fine. I wasn't up for much conversation anyways. Especially with a guy. So while he played some dumb game on his phone, I got out all the stuff to make salsa from the basket placed on our table.

Just as I got halfway through slicing the first tomato I could hear an argument starting from behind us. I casually began to listen.

Some asshole demanding to copy some poor kids homework, sounds like this wasn't the first time, and probably won't be the last.

"Why? Cause you're a stupid, brain-dead dick?" The nerdy kid replied to the asshole, I almost popped a grin.

"I'm gonna shove my fist down your throat, you little freak."

"That fist?"

"Yeah."

But then screams and the sound of the blender erupted, I turned in horror to find the asshole's hand being shredded and blood splattering around them. Everyone screamed, ran, panicked. But I jumped and pulled the kid away by the arm, then the teacher rushed over to us, leading the injured boy out of the room.

I turned back to face the kid who had done it, but when I did he collapsed to the ground.

"EMILY!" I could hear the panic in Sam's voice as he charged into the room.

"I'm here!" I yelled back. "Sam… I think this is ectoplasm." I said as I pointed to the black goo pouring out of his ears.

"What?! Demon's don't leave behind ectoplasm."

"I know… could it be a ghost?"

"He'd have to be hella pissed."

"Alright… go. I'll find you and Dean on break. You don't need to be in here when the teachers get back." I warned him. He nodded, and I sat with the passed out kid until help arrived.

It was then announced that there would be some sort of assembly in the gym during both lunch hours, so I quickly cleaned myself up in the bathroom and made my way to find Sam and Dean.

"Hey." I said as I bumped into them in the halls.

"Hey, you good?" Dean asked taking in notice of the blood on my shirt.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"What the hell happened in there?"

"The guy was being a jerk, and then the kid just shoved his hand in the blender! But when he passed out he started leaking black goo out of his ear."

"Ectoplasm?" Dean asked.

"Which only comes from a seriously pissed-off spirit. It's got to be ghost possession." I replied.

"Yeah, but that's pretty rare."

"Yeah, but it happens. I mean, they get angry enough, they can take control of a person's body." Sam said siding with me.

"All right, so, what, we got a ghost in the building?"

"Yeah, but where? I mean, there's no EMF. Maybe we could find out who it is, at least. You know, check and see if somebody died bloody around here or something." Sam suggested.

"Way ahead of you. I had to break into the principal's office to get this. Oh, and FYI, three of the cheerleaders are legal. Guess which ones." Dean smiled.

"Dean… they're literally MY age."

At this revelation his face began to fall.

"Alright. That's it! You are NOT turning 18. I forbid it!" He said crossing his arms in defiance.

"Can't stop time De." I reminded him.

"Watch me."

"Dean. Back to the death." Sam said pulling us back on track.

"So, there was only one death on campus. It was a suicide back in '98. Some kid named Barry Cook."

Sam's face instantly fell.

"What?" I asked.

"I knew him. How did he die?"

"He slit his wrists in the first-floor girls' bathroom."

"Damn…" I sighed. That's horrible. "That's where –"

"Right where the chick got swirleyed to death, exactly. So, what? This ghost is possessing nerds?"

"And using them to go after bullies, yeah." Sam agreed.

"Well, does that sound like Barry's M.O.?"

"Barry had a hard time." Sam said sadly.

"I'm sorry Sammy." I said leaning towards him. He didn't respond.

"Alright. So we salt and burn tonight, roll out to Bobby's tomorrow."

"Yeah… yeah." Sam said shaking his head. Something about this case was really eating at him.

…

(FLASHBACK- Third Person POV)

Emily stood right outside the doors of the elementary building and waited for Sam or Dean just like she was told. Her class got out a few minutes before either of theirs so she knew she would have to wait for a little while.

She watched in anticipation as older kids began to leave through the front doors of the main building. She scanned the crowd for sight of either brother, and finally her eyes landed on Sam.

She smiled as he began to walk towards her, but then for some reason he stopped. Emily watched in confusion as Sam and the boy he was walking with were both shoved. She begin to become upset, seeing now that something was wrong.

The boy shoved her brother again, but this time he shoved back.

The boy who stood beside Sam now ran back inside.

She could tell they were arguing, but she didn't know why. The longer Sam stood there the more anxious she became, before she realized it her feet were moving and pulling her closer to the chaos. First at a walk, then a jog, and by the end of it she was running towards him.

She had almost reached the circle of kids when Sam was shoved onto the ground.

"Sammy!" She cried out as she ran to his side.

"LEAVE MY SAMMY ALONE!" She cried at the much older and much bigger boy towering over them.

"It's fine Em, go over there!" Sam said pulling her away from the boy with the mean face.

"HEY! What's going on over there!" A teacher came out and the older kids began to scatter. He grabbed the kid with the mean face by the arm, and dragged him back inside. Emily pulled at Sam's arm in attempt to help him off the ground.

"Sammy, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Em. I promise."

"Why's he being mean to you?"

"Some people are just mean people."

"I don't like him being mean to you." She confessed as a tear slid down her cheek. Sam reached up and wiped it with his thumb. Just then Dean walked towards them.

"There's my two favorite people in the whole world!" He smiled, but it quickly fell as he met eyes with Emily. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"That boy was mean to Sammy." She sniffled.

"What?" He asked turning to Sam. "Who?"

"It's nothing. Dean."

"Nothing? Is that why you're dirty?"

"The mean boy pushed Sammy down." Emily mumbled.

"That kids dead!" Dean stood and yelled.

"Dean." Sam sighed.

"I'm gonna rip his lungs out!"

"It's not a big deal. "

"Not a big deal? Sammy, look at yourself. If Dad was here –"

"He's not."

"Well, I am! And as soon I'm finished with that dick –"

"Shut up, okay?! I don't need your help."

"That's right, you don't. You could have torn him apart. So why didn't you?"

"Because I don't want to be the freak for once, Dean. I want to be normal."

"So taking a beating - that's normal?"

"I don't want that boy to hurt you Sammy." Emily sniffled.

"He won't Em. I promise." Sam smiled at her.

"C'mon… I think someone needs some ice cream." Dean said as he picked Emily up and sat her up on his shoulders. She giggled with joy. The tears in her eyes gone now, replaced with love.

…

(Present- Emily's POV)

After dark we made our way to the local cemetery and discreetly dug up Barry's grave. Sam's face sullen the entire time. My heart broke for him. I could tell he felt this one… sometimes we get cases you just don't walk away from the same. This was one of those for Sam.

I watched as he hesitated before lighting the match… Dean and I had poured the gas and salt. Sam looked up to us for a split second, then dropped the burning matches into the grave. Sam stared for a moment but then quickly made his way back to the impala, Dean and I followed closely.

Without a word Dean pulled away.

"You all right?" I leaned up over the seat and asked him.

"Barry was my friend. I just burned his bones."

"Well, he's at peace now, Sam." Dean told him comfortingly.

"I mean, if Dad had let us stay just a little while longer, maybe I could have helped the kid, you know?"

"You read the coroner's report same as me. Barry was on every anxiety drug and antidepressant known to man. School was hell for that kid. His parents had split up. He just wanted out. It was tragic, but it's not your fault. To tell you the truth, I'm glad we got out of that town. I hated that school." Dean admitted.

"I can't even remember this school." I shrugged.

"It wasn't all bad." Sam sighed.

"How can you say that after what happened to you?"

"Just forget it…"

Me and Dean shared a quick look in the rear view mirror before I leaned back against the seat and settled in for the rest of the ride back to the motel. Once there I immediately went for a hot shower, trying to beat the boys so I could hog some of the hot water.

I stood under the stream and closed my eyes… but I could still see his face. I do every time I close my eyes. I hear his voice in my dreams. He still floods my senses even when he's not around.

His presence so strong I have to open my eyes again and pull back the curtain to make sure he's not actually in the room.

And when I do I only feel more like a fool.

A stupid, stupid girl.

When I walked out Sam went in and closed the door behind him, leaving Dean and I in the room to watch TV and drink beer. Well… beer for him. Sipping on whisky for me.

He's been pretty lax on me having a drink at night lately… it helps me sleep without the nightmares. I know. Not my best idea for a coping skill but hey. At this point I'm taking what I can get.

"So what's the plan for tomorrow?" I asked as I plopped down beside you.

"Well, you should probably go back for the day, just to make sure nothing happens and that its really over."

"Do I have to?" I pouted.

"I think Sammy would really appreciate it…"

"Fine. For Sammy." I surrendered.

"Hey… did he call you today?"

"Surprisingly no."

"Are you happy about that?"

"I don't know De."

"Well I am." Dean shrugged. "Maybe he's taking the hint."

"We have to talk one day Dean."

"Oh I know, and I am ready… SO ready."

"Well I'm glad one of us is."

"Kiddo I promise… there's nothing he can say that would end the world. I know you're scared, but you gotta do it eventually."

"I know." I whispered.

"Okay I can't stand the look on your face right now… Next subject. You excited about your birthday?"

"Suuuuper." I mumbled sarcastically.

"Come on, Em… its your big 18!" He said leaning forward and trying to get me pumped up.

"It's just another day Dean."

"No.. not its not. It's the day I got you! The day our family became what it is… Em, you are someone to be celebrated. Not blown off, and if you let this douche ruin your birthday I will be PISSED. So get excited kiddo… or you're gonna regret it." He said shooting me a playful warning.

"Thanks De… I think I'm just gonna crash and see if I can get excited tomorrow."

"Okay."

"Keep an eye on 's taking this one hard."

"Yeah I know it… I'll keep an eye on him."

"Okay… you sleeping better?"

"Ehh… No better or worse than you." He reminded me.

"Fair enough. Night De."

"Night kiddo."

….

(FLASHBACK Third Person POV)

"De! I don't wanna go to bed!" Emily pouted with watery sleepy eyes.

"I told you one more episode and you had to go to bed, remember?" Dean reminded her as he crossed his arms. He could see her fighting sleep all through the 20 minute cartoon. The way her eyes fluttered shut, how still she had become, the soft steady breathing pattern, and last but not least the increase in how whiny she was. She was so whiny when she was tired. He couldn't wait for her to grow out of this.

"No…" She began to cry.

"Awww… come on kiddo. Stow the crocodile tears, you know they get me every time." Dean said as he swooped her up in his arms.

"I wanna stay up with you and Sammy."

"I'm sorry babygirl." He mumbled as he kissed her on the cheek before laying her in the bed.

"Don't go De." She said as she wrapped her small arms around his neck. He chuckled.

"Okay… only till you fall asleep."

Dean caved and climbed into the bed and wrapped her up in the blanket before pulling her against his chest and rubbing his hand up and down her arm. He knew this routine… it was the normal for them. She'd beg for him to stay, or she'd cry herself to sleep. But if he could just find five minutes to lay down with her he could have her snoring in less than four, freeing him up for the rest of the night.

So he's learned to spare himself the trouble and just give in at her beck and call.

In what felt like only a minute she was softly snoring against him. He slid her onto the mattress and slowly climbed off of the bed, Emily was none the wiser to his absence.

"Alright… I'll be back, don't open the door for anyone!"

"Yeah yeah…" Sam rolled his eyes as he looked back to the paper he was attempting to write.

"What's eating you?"

"Just go Dean."

"Look… is this because I ate the last taco? Cause I can get more."

"No." Sam sighed.

"… Are you jealous?" Dean asked quietly with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, because I had such a good shot with a hot girl way older than me." Sam said rolling his eyes.

"Well then what is your problem?"

"You're spoiling her. She's got to be able to sleep by herself eventually."

"Seriously? That's what your pissy about?"

"Yeah. I mean come on, what am I gonna do when you start running off for weeks at a time too?" Sam shot at him angrily.

Dean nodded, finally realizing what this was about, and it wasn't Emily.

"Sammy… You're not gonna be the new kid forever. I mean you could always just ask dad about a homeschooling program."

"Dean, that wouldn't work and you know it… Dad doesn't want us on record remember?"

"Keep your chin up Sammy. This won't last forever. Promise." Dean said before he shut the door and left.

"Not for me it won't." Sam mumbled to himself in the silence.

….

(PRESENT Emily's POV)

"Hey, we'll be back at lunch, so just suffer through the first few classes okay?" Dean encouraged as I climbed out of the car.

"Yup." I sighed as I slid a shoulder bag over my arm.

"Hey, keep an eye on things in there." Sam called out to me.

"I will, anything spooky shows up and you'll be the first to know." I said as I walked towards the building. I didn't hear the engine roar until my hand reached for the door, knowing my brother's eyes are constantly on me gets old sometimes… but there's not much I can do.

I walked down the hall to the same art class as yesterday, the one with no chairs. Once there I noticed the other students had already began working on their paintings again, I figured it was about 10 minutes early but I might as well do the same.

I gathered my paints and a few brushes and continued where I left off. Eventually the brushes became too edged, too pointed, so instead I just dipped my hand into the paint and smoothed my edges, strokes thick and curved. I didn't even know what it was I was drawing, I just kept going…

"Well… for someone who has never painted before, I'd say you figured it out." A voice from behind me spoke. I turned to meet Mr. Tanner, and his deep beautiful blue eyes.

"Uh. I guess so." I smiled shyly.

"Really, Emily… for your first time this is amazing."

"Thank you."

"Its an Angel right?"

My stomach dropped…

"I'm sorry?" I asked him confused.

"It's an angel. Kind of a dark one, but the wings are spot on." He nodded.

I looked at the picture in its entirety. How I could be the one painting it and not see what I was painting was beyond me… but he was right. It was the dark shape of a man, with red blood and darkness surrounding him- but the wings were stark white.

"Yeah… I guess it is."

"You know I always pictured angels to be glowing, and soft…" He mused.

"Yeah… I did too."

…

The lunch bell rang and I began making my way down the hall and out of the building, but I accidentally bumped into someone while walking.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" I said as I knelt down to pick up the things she dropped, it wasn't until I stopped and looked up I saw the scowl on her face.

"Watch where you're going Winchester." She spat at me.

"Who are you…"

"Where's Sammy?" She smiled.

"I said who are you!"

It was then I noticed the ectoplasm leaking out of her ears… SHIT! Not Barry!

"That's okay… I'll just take you instead!"

She lunged forward at me and I quickly threw her down, then I grabbed a bag of salt out of my shoulder bag and shoved it down her throat, the ghost was quickly expelled and the girl began to cough. I quickly released her and ran out the doors, once I hit the steps I could see Baby, and Sam and Dean could see me. They jumped out of the car running towards me.

"EMILY! What the hells going on!?"

"GET US OUT OF HERE! NOW!" I said as I pointed them back towards the car, Dean waited until I was within his arms reach before grabbing me and pushing me in front of him. Once in the car Dean peeled out away from the school

"What the hell happened?!" Sam insisted.

"Its not Barry, the ghost… whoever they are, they just attacked me using another kid. I don't know if she saw me or not afterwards, I was trying to get out of there before the teachers showed up."

"Wait what?"

"And it knew me?"

"How?"

"I don't know… It called me Winchester, asked where Sammy was…"

"But. If it's not Barry then who was it?" Dean asked.

"I don't know, De. But this isn't over yet… may have to cancel plans with Bobby if we can't get this wrapped up."

"It's not even noon... we'll figure it out and drive all night if we have to. I'm giving you a birthday dammit." He grumbled.

"Sir yes sir."

"We had to miss something… we need to go back through the papers, see if there is another connection. Something we aren't seeing." Sam interrupted us.

"Well can you two drop me off for a nap while you do that? I'm tired."

More or less I just need some time alone.

"Uh, sure. You feeling okay?"

"I'm fine Dean. I just want to sleep for a while in a quiet room by myself."

"… Okay." He answered hesitantly.

Dean and Sam dropped me off at the motel and were sure to remind me to lock the doors, lay down the salt, and sleep with a gun under the pillow. Then they promised they'd be back in a few hours.

… But I couldn't wait to be alone.

I pulled off my jacket and my boots, and then laid on the stiff motel bed. I reached for my phone and opened the list of unread text messages. Clicking them one at a time to read through his pleas… 'talk to me' 'call me' 'can I see you' 'please let me explain'… and worst of all, 'I wanna see you tomorrow, it's your birthday'.

I thought back on my birthday from last year… the one where I was waiting for Dean to die. The one where a message from Judson sent butterflies loose in my belly, now it puts a pain in my chest. The last year has been such a roller coaster… it's changed who I am.

And almost every damn day of it was spent with him, or thinking about him, or fighting with him… and now I can't even bring myself to speak to him.

I miss his touch. The way he held me… I miss the way I could talk to him about anything. The way he made me talk when I didn't want to, because even though I'd never admit it- It was a relief each and every time to bear my thoughts to another soul. A soul that cared enough to ask…

But I guess when it's your job to ask those questions… you have no other choice.

Pain rolled through my body as sobs took over again. Just when I thought I had cried all I could- here the familiar sensation came again. The pain was suffocating, and when I let it take me over I felt as if I'd never find my way out of it again.

But eventually it lessened, like it always does. And I pull myself to stand, I wash my face, and I shove it back down my throat… like a golf ball through a garden hose.

I laid and waited for sleep to overtake me, but then the phone buzzed again.

Judson: Emily… I miss you.

In my moment of weakness, and clearly some delusion… I began to type.

E: I miss you too.

It wasn't even a half second before it buzzed again.

J: Baby, are you okay?

E: What kind of question is that? From you?

J: I know. I'm sorry… I just. I need to see you.

E: I can't.

J: Please let me explain everything!

E: I can't…

J: Please let me come Em. I need to see you.

E: I'm not ready Jud. I can't do it.

With that I turned off my phone… afraid if I let the conversation keep going that I might not be able to stop myself later.

…

(Third Person POV)

"Dammit… she's got her phone turned off!" Dean growled as they jumped in the impala and sped down the road.

They drove towards where they'd hope the school bus would intercept them. The same school bus they linked all three victims to, the same school bus that holds a piece of hair from the same boy who bullied Sam during his time at the school. The same boy terrorizing the students now.

"Why the hell would her phone be off?" Sam asked.

"I don't know!"

"Well… I mean. We can't really wait to take care of this."

"I know… okay. Lets uh. Let's knock this one out quick… then haul ass back to the motel to beat her if she isn't dead or missing. Or run away to see some dumbass boy again."

"Please. You never even disciplined her as a kid. You'll bitch for a while and be over it."

"Hey… it's not my fault. I was kinda trying to make up for the whole absent father thing."

"Yeah, don't I know it." Sam sighed.

(FLASH BACK)

Emily stood outside the elementary school building close to the side walk… the same place she's stood every day for the last few weeks. Except this time she wasn't anxious or excited for her brothers to come around the corner at any moment. This time she dreaded it.

She held the small white piece of paper in her hand. The one with the big red frown written on it by her teacher. The one that was addressed to her father to inform him that she had hit a boy in the face during recess today. The one that required his signature and requested a parent-teacher conference about her behavior over the last few days.

She knew Sam wouldn't be mad. He never was… but Dean. Dean would be angry.

Not only because she was caught fighting… but because a boy picked a fight with her. Not only would he be angry with her, but he'd be angry at the boy, and that brought on a whole new set of problems. Dean was protective to the bottom of his core, and if a boy even looked at Emily wrong he was behind her, shooting daggers from his eyes at children with no shame.

Emily watched as Sam exited the building first, as usual. And began to walk towards her, he looked up and smiled, but Emily pulled her eyes to the ground with shame. Sam instantly knew something was wrong with her, but he waited until he was in front of her to take the small piece of paper out of her hand and begin reading it.

"Em." He sighed. "What happened?"

Emily simply avoided eye contact and shrugged her shoulders.

"Are you going to tell me?"

Same response.

"Well… if you don't tell me then you'll have to tell Dean."

"Tell Dean what?" Dean's voice boomed behind Sam. Causing him to turn and hand Dean the paper. Dean looked at it briefly before looking up at Emily, seeing the frustration plastered on her face as she stared at the crack in the concrete.

"Alright… I'll look at this at the motel. Let's go." He said as he folded the paper and put it in his pocket.

Sam reached down and grabbed Emily's hand as she hesitantly reached out for him, and the three began the short walk back to the motel. As they walked Dean watched Emily carefully out the corner of his eye. The way she barely pulled her eyes to look up at him, as if she was afraid. Then he noticed she became closer to Sam after every few feet they walked. When they began she was basically being dragged behind him, and now she was practically clinging to his side.

Sometimes he envied Sam. Sam got all the love with half the work… Sam was the 'easy' brother to tackle for Emily. He was all love and no buck. Dean on the other hand had to play all roles when their Dad was gone. Making him the hammer and the heart at the same time.

So when they reached the door of the motel, Emily was hiding behind Sam as the three entered and shut the door behind them.

"Okay…" Dean sighed. "Are you going to tell me what happened before I read this?" He asked as he pulled the piece of paper out of his pocket.

Sam slid Emily's backpack off and set it over the chair at the small table in the corner. Emily held her hands behind her back and pulled at her thumbs as she shuffled on her feet. Her shoulders doing a slight shrug.

"Emily. Tell me the truth."

"That boy was mean to me." She mumbled in a tone that would have been incoherent to anyone other than the trained ears of her brothers.

"Who was mean to you?" Dean instantly asked as he knelt down to get on her level. He grabbed her face and began looking for any sign of a scuffle. He grazed over the features of her face quickly, finding nothing out of place.

"A boy in my class."

"What did he do to you?"

"He…" Emily stuttered. "He. He said that…"

"Said what babygirl?" Dean asked as he realized her eyes were now watering.

"He said that Daddy left me here cause he didn't want me no more." She finally admitted with glossy eyes and a puckered bottom lip.

"What?!" Dean was throttled. He couldn't believe someone had the nerve to say such a thing to a little girl. To HIS little girl. "What's his name?"

"Dean. He's a kid… you can't beat up a kid." Sam softly reminded him as he continued to listen from behind them.

"Shut up." Dean turned and said to him, then he focused back on Emily.

"Babygirl... what did you do after he said that?"

"I punched him in the face and made his nose bleed."

"Good girl." Dean said kissing her on the cheek.

"Dean!" Sam scolded.

"Yeah yeah… Emily, you know that this boy is wrong don't you?"

Emily was hesitant before barely lifting her arms to shrug.

"Em, Dad loves you so much! You are the sweetest girl in his whole world. He's coming back kiddo, just like he always does."

"I don't like it when Daddy leaves."

"I know. We don't like it either… but Dad has to work."

Sam looked down at her, knowing the look on her face all too well from seeing it reflected on his own in the mirror. He hated that the older she got the more she was aware of his absence and the longer he seemed to think it was okay to be gone. The hunts grow longer every time… and she's noticing.

"Hey." He said as he moved to stand in front of her. "What if we went and called Dad, huh? See what he's doing?"

"Are you going to tell Daddy about the note?"

"No sweetheart, Dean will take care of it. Right Dean?"

"Yep. You're not in any trouble this time okay?"

"Promise?"

"I promise babygirl… go call Dad, tell him hi for me." Dean smiled as Sam picked her up and carried her over to the bed where the two of them layed and began to dial their father. Dean took the note and crumbled it in his hand.

…

(PRESENT TIME Emily's POV)

"EM!" Dean yelled, waking me from my slumber.

"What?!" I asked half asleep and panicked.

"Why is your phone off?"

"Oh… Um." I sat up and wiped my eyes. "Judson… we. We just were talking and I didn't want him to keep blowing me up."

"Wait, you talked to him?" Sam interrupted. It wasn't until then I noticed how dirty he was.

"What happened to you ? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine… we wrapped up the case. So what do you mean you talked to him?"

"Um. He texted me when I laid down, and I just… texted back. But. It didn't last long."

"What did he say?" Dean asked with his arms crossed.

"Just. That he missed me…"

"And you said?" Sam pushed.

"I said I missed him too… but I wasn't ready to do this yet."

"So you turned off your phone why?"

"Because I know him… and that isn't an answer that's going to satisfy him. He would have kept on trying, and I was too exhausted to deal with him right now."

"Hmm." Dean pursed his lips. "Sure that's it? You weren't planning on running off again?"

"No… Dean. I. I wouldn't even know where to go at this point. Are the two of you okay? For real? No one got hurt?"

"No. We're fine… feeling like road tripping it to Bobby's?" Dean smiled.

"Sure." I gave him a small smile back.

"Alright! Let's go!" He cheered as he clapped his hands and began to pack the car. He 'discreetly' called Bobby and gave him the heads up we were coming and mentioned something else about 'getting the stuff' so I'm sure whatever I'm walking into will be much more extravagant then I'm really feeling… but the boys are so excited about it. I almost feel bad about not being as excited as they are.

Honestly I should be… this was a day I didn't think Dean would live to see. This is a day I wasn't even sure I would see there for a while...

So why can't I just get out of this funk and enjoy something about this day?

….

"Emily." Sam whispered as he rubbed his arm up and down my shoulder. "Em"

"Hmmmmm…." I mumbled snuggling further into the seat where I fell asleep leaned against him with my feet tucked behind Dean's back.

"Wakey wakey…" Then the volume got much louder, "EGGS AND BAC-Y!" He yelled

I jumped back and shrunk away from the yelling in my ear.

"What the fuck!" I said as I reached over and smacked him. He laughed.

"C'mon kiddo! We're here!" Dean said as he trotted back over to the open driver door and held out a hand to help me out. I took it reluctantly and stepped out, but then was surprised again as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulders.

"DEAN!" I squealed before he smacked my leg and started jogging towards the porch.

"Stop running or you're gonna drop me asshole!" I laughed.

He stopped once we reached the front door and dropped me- literally dropped me.

"Oops! My bad." He giggled as he reached down and helped me up.

"Gee… thanks." I rolled my eyes as I stood.

"Okay. Close your eyes."

"So you can knock me down again?"

"Just do it!" Sam smiled from behind him.

"Fine." I said as I closed my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Okay. Take three steps in." Dean said as he kept one hand on my back and I heard the door in front of me open. I sighed slightly as I reached out in front of me like a blind man and carefully walked through the doorway.

"Okay stop, now stand here and don't open them!" He said as I heard them both shuffle form behind me. I honestly can't even imagine what I'm going to open my eyes to.

"Okay!" Sam yelled. "Open!"

When I did I put my hand to my mouth as I took in the sight before me.

My two idiot amazing lovable adorable maddening brothers were standing on either side of the best uncle and second daddy I could ever have… who had a cheesecake with 18 candles lit and ready in it. Behind them and all around them were streamers and balloons of all different colors. It was literally more than I could have ever imagined or wanted.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" They all yelled in unison. I hid my face with bright red cheeks for a moment before walking up towards them.

"Make a wish darlin." Bobby smiled as he lifted the cake towards me. A tear came to my eye as he winked to me. I didn't realize how much I missed this man until he was right in front of me. I leaned forward and closed my eyes before blowing out all the candles in front of me.

Wishing that nights like this would never end.

Even if it is 4 in the morning and technically not really night anymore.

As the candles went out Dean reached out first and pulled me into a hug.

"Happy Birthday babygirl." He said as he kissed me on the cheek, Sam followed with the same gesture. And then I turned to face Bobby. I jumped forward and he caught me with a huff and both arms.

"Oh Darlin, you just don't know how much I needed that." He grumbled.

"Me too Uncle Bobby." I said holding back the tingle in my throat.

"Let me get a look at you kid." He said as he put me back down. He pretended to turn my head and look me up and down. "Yup. Still the same old Emily… not a day older than six years old."

"Bobby." I laughed as I pushed him lightly. "I'm all grown up now, remember?"

"Yeah yeah yeah… not in this house you're not." He teased. "You three hungry?"

"Bobby its like. 4am... nothings open."

"Who said anything about going somewhere? Don't you think I know the three of you by now." Bobby said as he walked towards the kitchen. We followed him in to find an entire spread of food laid out before us. Cheesecake, pie, steaks, sausage links, giant baked potatoes, mac n cheese, and grilled corn on the cob.

"Oh Bobby you are awesome!" Dean cheered as he nearly ran my over to get to the food and pile up his plate. Sam not far behind him, I stood next to Bobby and watched the two of them raid the kitchen.

"So… how are you really doing?" Bobby leaned over and asked me.

"A lot better now that I'm here." I admitted as I looked up to him.

"Dean told me about the angels and the boy… Emily I'm so sorry. I never knew. I honestly thought his backstory checked out. He had been running with a few hunters for a while now."

"It's not your fault Uncle Bobby… whether you knew of him or not I think we would have all ended up in the same place."

"Darlin… you know that I'd be more than happy to hunt him down."

"Thanks, but if you kill him then I can't get my answers."

"Have you talked to him?"

"Very briefly. I just. I don't know if I can… I don't know if I can be face to face with him again."

"Well Em. It's gonna depend on how bad you want those answers."

"What if they're really bad…"

"Well it's not going to be good. We know it's gonna be bad, but… There's nothing that boy can say that would change the way any of the people in this house are going to love you. It's not going to change the fact that there are jobs. Hunts. Monsters… hell we gotta keep that asshat Lucifer in the cage, and nothing he says is gonna change that. So life will go on Em. Its better to just rip the band-aid… you know that first hand."

"I know." I said sadly.

"C'mon. Let's get you some grub before your idjit brothers eat it all." He said as he swung an arm over me.

"Ha, we may be too late already!"

…

I trotted up the stairs with my bag over my shoulder just as the sky began to lighten, meaning the impending sunrise was soon to come. I was stuff and for the first time in a while had a real smile on my face, maybe this birthday wasn't going to be so bad.

"Em!" Sam yelled. "Let's watch a movie!"

"Okay! Gimme ten minutes to change!" I yelled back down the steps as I reached the top. I opened the familiar door into the only room I've ever known as my own and smiled as the purple walls greeted me again. I pulled off my shirt and jeans and slipped into a pair of shorts and a loose long sleeve shirt I stole from one of the boys. I stepped into the bathroom that adjoined to the room and pulled my hair up into a loose messy bun that flopped over to the side.

That's still acceptable when you're 18 right?

I shrugged and turned to walk back out, but my feet stopped. Turning into concrete blocks as my eyes met his.

"Emily."

His hair was ruffled in ways I had never seen before. Bags under his eyes, and a bouquet of flowers in his hand. He stared at me with intensity hotter than that of the sun. Part of me wanted to run to him, the other part wanted to scream for my brothers.

"Damn you are beautiful." He whispered, then he moved towards me. I immediately stepped back.

"Stop." Was the only word I could get out.

"Em, please… let me-"

"No." I said sternly. "Why are you here?"

"It's your birthday." He answered as If I had stabbed him with my words.

"Why. Are you standing in this room? Are you fucking insane? Do you not remember the three men downstairs?"

"Emily I… I had to see you." He pleaded as he moved closer to me, again I backed up. "Please." He whispered.

"You shouldn't be here." I shook my head.

"I can explain Em, if you'll just let me!"

"I can't." I admitted as a single tear fell.

(Third Person POV)

"What the hell's taking her so long?" Dean mumbled as Sam popped in the movie and sat on the couch next to him.

"I don't know. She's a girl." Sam shrugged.

"Go get her."

"No. You go get her."

Dean stared at him for a moment before raising his hands in a challenge of rock-paper-scissors. Sam rolled his eyes and quickly defeated Dean- who left the couch with a grumble and a mumbled curse word or two. He trotted up the stairs quietly and got to Emily's door, moving to knock on it before he heard her voice… and then another.


	78. Chapter 78

Author's note: WHEW! This is a bit of a long one folks! But I am SUPER excited for you all to read it and tell me what you think about the direction Emily's story is moving. There is A LOT of new information ahead and I can't wait to build on that in the coming chapters. This chapter is 100% original and doesn't follow one of the episodes so I apologize if it is at all scattered or dragged out. There is also a very special flashback in here for those who have asked! I love you all SO very much and I appreciate your patience with my chaos I call life right now! I really wanted to have this chapter out a week ago but I hope it was well worth the wait! Please READ and REVIEW! I LOVE YOU ALL!

(THIRD PERSON POV)

"I can't…" Emily whispered as she shook her head.

Every bone in Dean's body demanded he burst through the door and dismantle the boy on the other side of it. But something small stopped him. He needed to hear what the boy said next. He needed to know why the angels were watching her so closely, otherwise he wasn't going to know exactly what it was he was protecting her from. And he'd do anything to keep her safe… so he waited, holding his breath for the next words to be spoken.

"I know I hurt you baby… but I never meant to. Emily. I never meant to fall in love with you. I never meant to put you in this place. It wasn't supposed to be like this." Judson blurted out before she could cut him off again.

"What? What wasn't supposed to be like this!" Emily scoffed.

"All of it! I just. I thought I could keep it under control and get what we needed. I tried so hard."

"Tried to do what Judson! What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm what they call Earthbound. Sort of like a guardian… The angels give us charges to monitor, to observe or to protect if need me. I was assigned to you."

"…. Are you human?" Emily asked as a thousand questions flooded her mind. But this was the one that made its way to the surface.

"Yes… but I've been 21 years old for a very long time. I don't age."

"So what you're immortal or something?"

"No. I can die, I just don't age. If I was to be harmed to the point of death then I'd die like any other person. But I have some small scale of healing abilities, not that I can use on anyone else, but to help my body to recover quickly. The most I can do to others is provide a calm sense of feeling."

'Well that explains a few things' Emily thought to herself.

"So I was your job then? Is that what I'm understanding."

"It's so much more than that, but in its simplest form, yes. Em. You were my charge. You were the person I was supposed to watch."

"Just watch?"

"No… I was asked to gather intel on your abilities. Someone like you has never existed before. We have never seen another person carry the blood of Lucifer and survive."

Emily shook her head and turned to face away from him as she leaned against the window frame. Her mind running a million miles a minute. Her stomach in her throat, and panic flooding her body. Every time she thought about who's blood ran through her veins she felt this heavy weight on her entire body. It was suffocating at times… and at this moment she felt like she was drowning.

"Em I swear. Everything I ever said about us.. about you. I mean every fucking word of it. I love you! I love you so much it hurts every day that I don't see you… touch you. Baby. Please…"

Emily dropped to her knees as sobs shook her shoulders in the slightest of movements.

"How am I supposed to believe any of that?" She asked.

Judson moved to kneel behind her.

"Baby, please believe me… I don't know how to prove that it's true. I just need you to believe me."

"I can't Judson!" She spun. "I can't believe a word out of your mouth. Everything you ever said to me was just to use me… you FUCKED me to get information from me!"

The ground softly shook beneath them. Emily knew she was getting too upset to be in Bobby's house. She didn't want to destroy it… again.

"Dammit Em that is NOT true! I fucking love you so damn much! Everything I ever said about us was real, I meant every bit of it and I still do, baby please! You have to believe at least that much. What do I have to do to make you believe me?"

"I don't know!" She said dipping her face in her hands as she leaned back against the wall. Judson sat back and faced her, not touching her, not reaching for her, just watching as she pushed her fingers against her temples. Trying to calm herself some. Closing her eyes and trying to pretend she couldn't sense him sitting just inches away. That his lips. His body wasn't within her grasp.

She cursed herself for thinking that way… but the truth was she couldn't stop. She wanted nothing more than to wrap herself in him. Fuck the angels. Fuck the truth. Fuck anything that ruined her idea of being with him and being happy again.

"Emily." He said so softly that Dean struggled to hear it from outside the door. "I'll do anything. Anything. To prove that I'm telling you the truth. I never meant for any of this to happen. I didn't mean to fall in love with you, but I did… because Dammit you are the most amazing woman I've ever met and I can't imagine living my life without you in it. I don't want to… please. Don't make me do that."

"I don't know… I don't know how to make this work anymore. I don't know how we can be together when I can't trust you at all. And even if I could… my brothers would murder you if they knew you were here right now."

Dean rolled his eyes and had to resist the humorless laugh that wanted to escape. He was unsure of what to do next at this point. Surely Emily would know they are getting suspicious. Surely she knew they would ask questions. Is it better to get this over with now?

Dean's mind was made for him as he twisted the knob and opened the door.

The sight of Emily in the floor in tears was enough to let him know he made the right decision.

"I think we should move this chat downstairs… share with the class. What do ya say?" He said glaring at Judson- who while also terrified refused to look away from Dean. Refused to run away from the situation. He knew this was unavoidable. He would have to face them eventually.

(Emily's POV)

Dean was literally spitting fire from his eyes when he looked at Judson. My breath left my body in fear of what would happen next.

"Dean." I mumbled. He finally put his eyes back on me, then he walked forward and reached out for me. I immediately took his hand and he pulled me to stand. "Dean I'm sorry." I began apologizing… not even sure what for.

"C'mon. Go find Sam." He said as he possessively pulled me into him and then gently pushed me to walk downstairs. It began to dawn on me that he could have been outside the door for how knows how long… who knows what he heard. Who knows what he's going to do. I padded down the stairs quickly until I practically ran into Sam at the bottom.

"Whoa, hey… where have you been? You and Dean have been up there forever."

Dammit… he was outside the door.

"Uh. Umm.."

"Em what's wrong?"

"Judson's here." I whispered. His eyes went wide and his face filled with anger.

"WHAT?!"

Just then two sets of feet began to descend at the top of the steps. I moved so that they could make their way down and stepped into the kitchen where Bobby was opening a beer.

"Might want to crack a few more of those." I told him as I reached into his whiskey cabinet and bypassed the glass. The burn on the way down was almost therapeutic.

Whatever was coming next wasn't going to be pleasant for Judson, and just the thought made my stomach roll with anxiety.

"What did I miss?"

"Judson's here."

"What?! In this house?!"

I simply nodded as Bobby stormed passed me and into the other room. I took another long sip of the whiskey and walked back into the living room, where all four men stood in what could be the most tense circle I've ever seen in my life.

My eyes met Judson's, who despite how bad he probably wanted to shit himself looked strong. Looked determined. I however was petrified. I can't even tell you why… it's not like I'm the one in trouble. Its not me who stands on trial. So why is it my stomach in my ass and my throat growing tighter by the second.

"You got some serious balls kid." Bobby said as he took his seat on the edge of the desk against the wall, tipping his beer to his lips.

"I just wanted to tell Emily Happy Birthday… that's all."

"Oh I heard a lot of things up there. None of them however were happy birthday. Why don't you share with everyone else what you shared with Emily"

"Do you want the professing of love while I'm at it?"

"You are in no position to take that attitude with me." Dean quickly shot at him.

"I'm an Earthbound. We're like human guardians that serve the angles. The angels give us people that are to be watched or protected and it's our job to do it… Emily was assigned to me the day Sam died. The day she got her abilities."

"Why?" Sam instantly asked.

"Because no one has ever survived with Lucifer's blood in their veins. The angels were sure that once she died, and the blood was 'activated' sort-a-speak that it would be too much for her… it would kill her, and then that would be the end of Azazeal's army."

"I was supposed to die?"

"Expected to Em… not supposed to. But you blew them all out of the water, sent the heavens into a fit. You were top priority."

"And they asked you?" Dean scoffed.

"Castiel has worked with me for many years. He knows I'm focused and dedicated… was focused. I never expected to have feelings for Emily, okay? I've had dozens of charges and not once have I ever felt anything for them."

"Look you don't gotta convince us she's something special… we get that part of it. But you can explain to us why the hell you weren't honest with us all a long damn time ago. If you had any honest interest in pursuing my girl over there you shoulda come clean with her or with all of us from the get go."

Dean's point was valid. Something I hadn't even pondered. It just reinforced the idea that he was using me from the get go… but if that's true then why is he here now? Standing in front of a firing squad with his eyes glued to me.

"Emily doesn't trust anyone… hell she still struggles to trust the three of you sometimes. Do you think for one second that if I told her or any of you the truth she would have opened up to me at all?"

"Oh so this is my fault?" I interjected feeling slightly offended.

"No, no Em not at all. None of this is your fault… I'm just answering the question."

"And what exactly was your plan now that you two were so involved? Were you ever gonna tell us the truth?" Sam asked crossing his arms.

"I don't know. Okay, I couldn't find a way to come clean, and I couldn't find away to keep myself away from her, and I was still trying to do my job… look. If it came down to her or them, then I'd choose Emily without hesitation. I just. I don't know… I hoped the angels would back off, and I was going to leave them behind." Then his eyes focused on me. "I would give up all of it for you."

My heart swelled, and ached all at the same time. Every bone in my body begged for him to be telling the truth, but the walls surrounding my heart stood tall and strong, shouting doubts to my brain.

"So what do you know about Emily's abilities that we don't?" Bobby asked, thankfully taking me off the hook from having to respond.

"Not much. She's just unpredictable. It's really kind of a limitless situation, Lucifer is the most powerful angel to ever exist, he was God's best friend. His blood has powers that we couldn't even begin to explore. We know that she can kill demons, humans, probably any monster she faces, and possibly angels. I think that's what scares them the most. But you have to look at that power like a ball of energy. She's not controlling it enough to focus it the way she could… the more focus she learns to have then the more powerful she'll be. These little spurts of emotion related stuff is nothing… child's play. Dean, when you died. She was more focused than I'd ever seen her. Imagine that- but doubled, or more."

I could feel the air in my body grow cold. I could feel my heart beat faster yet my blood flow slower. Taking in the words like they were being tattooed onto my skull.

Me?

He can't be talking about me can he?

… I'm just a person.

I just want to be a person.

"Em!" Dean slightly yelled. I jumped and looked up to him. "I've been trying to talk to you… You still with me kiddo?"

I nodded in response. Afraid my voice would come out shaky.

"What are the angels saying?" Bobby asked him next.

"To me? Not much… but I have a friend that sits in on the council meetings and from what I understand the angels are pretty divided on the matter. Half of them want her to continue to explore her abilities and see if they can be used for Heaven's armory."

"And the other half?" Dean asked.

"The other half thinks she's too much of a threat to let her live. They want her dead."

"What? How can they just decide something like that! I mean she's just a girl!" Dean yelled in outrage.

"They can't." Judson answered. "That's why they have the meetings… as long as there is one angel still fighting her for her then they can't kill her. The vote has to be unanimous for death. So again, they sent me to watch, and observe as she learned more about her abilities… and then I report back and they continue the debate based on the information I give them."

"And what happens when that information stops rolling in?"

"They'll either send someone else… or they'll take her."

"Take her?" Sam stepped up.

"Yes. They'll take her, and keep her locked away until they reach a unanimous decision."

"They… they can't." I stuttered. "Right?"

My eyes scanned the room, and the four men in it. Judson's eyes were honest, but they couldn't be. NO. That can't be true. Angels can't just take people can they?! Lock them away… I scanned the other three pairs of eyes in the room as they exchanged worried glances with one another.

"De… they can't do this right?" I mumbled to him. He looked at me and even though he was quick to hide it I could see the split second of panic in his eyes.

"No one. I repeat NO ONE is taking you anywhere Emily Anne. Over my dead body."

"I missed my last report… one more and they'll start getting curious."

"So lie to them!" Dean yelled.

"I can't! They know when I'm lying… the most I can do is what I've been doing. Feeding them honest but censored information. They don't just ask me to give a detailed report okay, they can sort of hack your mind, watch glimpses of your memory. I'm very careful to only focus on certain things in front of them, but I was too scatter brained to report last time… I would've blown it all."

"So what now? We're just supposed to let you keep tagging along? Reporting back to the angels and 'supposedly' sway them to see our side of things? How are we supposed to know that's what's really happening?" Bobby asked.

"You don't." Judson admitted. "That's where you have to trust me… just a little."

"Ha, nice one." Sam scoffed.

"Look. I lied to all of you, I get that. I don't blame you for feeling the way you do about me. But I am here for her. To protect her… from anything and everything, which now includes angels. But I can't do that from a distance. I need to be nearby at the least. I need to be close enough that I can gather what they want to keep them at bay."

"Yeah yeah… we get the picture Romeo." Dean said as he ran his hand through his hair. "I don't know what to tell you right now. The only thing I want right now is to beat you till you stop breathing."

"Agreed." Sam smiled as he stepped forward slightly.

"But… If I kill you, then they're gonna come looking for her and they're not going to be happy they're missing a guardian."

"Yeah." Judson mumbled.

"So where does that leave us boys?" Bobby asked.

"I don't know… we don't make any decisions that she isn't comfortable with. So… Em?" Dean asked. All sets of eyes fell on me. Puke made its way up my throat slowly, just slow enough for me to turn and jog into the bathroom, shutting the door before emptying the amazing meal Bobby had made us.

I waited for my stomach to settle before standing and washing my shaking hands. Splashing my face with water, and looking up to the mirror.

"Em open up." Dean tapped on the door.

"Just a minute." I replied as I took deep breaths.

"C'mon babygirl… open the door."

I reached over and undid the lock, but allowed Dean to open the door himself. He promptly closed it behind him.

"Hey, you good?"

I simply nodded as I leaned over the sink.

"Kiddo, you don't gotta play tough for me."

"De… I'm scared. I just want to be a person. I don't want to be a weapon." I trembled.

"Shhh, no. You're not." He said as he pulled me to him. "You are just a girl Em. A very special girl, but that doesn't mean anything… you don't have to be or do anything you don't want to do."

"What if I can't help it? What if I can't stop myself."

"You will sweetheart, you always have. You are the strongest person in this family, and this family is known for taking hits and getting back up. So you just keep your head down, we keep hunting, we keep moving, and we stay the fuck away from the angels. Okay?"

"What about Judson?"

"I don't know Em. That's up to you. I'll back whatever move you wanna make here."

"I can't be around him every day… I just. I can't. Not right now. Not after all this."

"Okay. Then we tell him to back off… he can just meet up with us every once in a while. Report back to the dicks, and you just keep your distance."

"I hate this… I hate all of this. I just want to get some sleep, and pretend none of this is real."

"C'mon, lets get you to bed then okay?"

I nodded and leaned against Dean as he opened the door and walked me out and past everyone else towards the stairs.

"Em." Judson called out as I walked by, reaching for my hand. I pulled it away. "Emily please."

"Back off." Dean warned him before we turned to go up the steps.

I felt guilty, and therefore I kept my eyes on the ground, not looking to meet what I'm sure was some god awfully sad look on his face, or the pity on Sam or Bobby's. I just want to be alone.

"I'm good from here De." I said pulling away some.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I just. Want some time. Take a nap, gather my thoughts for a while."

"Okay. We'll be downstairs."

I smiled slightly at him as he turned to walk back down the stairs, and I shut the door to my room, locking it behind me. I sat and looked at the bed.

Fuck me, I couldn't sleep if I had a half a bottle of pills. Every word he said rattled in my head. Echoing and repeating… Lucifer's blood. A weapon. Heaven's armory.

I don't want this. Any of this. I just want to be left alone.

…

(Third Person POV)

"Is she okay?" Judson asked as Dean came back down the stairs.

"Does she look okay to you?" He replied

"No." He sighed. "Look. I'll just leave okay, but the angels are going to expect another report next week. And If I miss another they'll come looking for themselves."

"We'll be in touch." Bobby said with a roll of his eyes, the three men watched as Judson exited the house and waited for the sound of his motorcycle starting before they faced each other.

"What the hell do we do now?" Sam asked.

"Panic?" Dean sarcastically suggested while secretly pondering the thought.

"Now listen, there is one thing we all have to get on the same page about before we take this any further. No one is taking that girl anywhere… so once we have that we're left with a plan. Keep the angels at bay." Bobby reasoned.

"How?" Sam shrugged. "Keep that dumbass punk around?"

"Pick your battles Sam. There's a war brewing."

"Well I'd say this is a battle worth picking! I mean we can't just bring him back into our lives after all this… we can't trust him. Right Dean?!"

"… We don't have another choice right now." Dean resigned. "Bobby's right… we gotta keep the kid around and keep the angels off our backs as much as we can until we can figure out what to do next."

"Ugh… Emily get a say in this?"

"Of course she does. And she knows we will all back her, but you and I both watched the two of them in this room. They're not finished. She's not done with him… and she would rather have him around then never see him again."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do! Sam. I know her. WE know her… just get past the urge to beat the fuck out of him and think about it. Its not easy, okay. I get it. But we still don't know how to fight the bastards- with the exception of maybe Emily we don't even know how to kill them. So until we know more about the enemy, we keep him close by."

"Whatever." Sam huffed. "I'm going to check on her."

Sam stormed out of the room and up the stairs.

Dean's eyes met Bobby's.

"Bobby. We're making the right choice here aren't we?"

"Boy this ain't about what's right… its just all we got."

"That's not comforting in the least."

"Yeah well, I'm not Ghandi."

"Dammit man. I'm not sure where the hell we're supposed to get a break here? I mean. She's just Em. And we're supposed to believe she's some sort of almighty weapon? Is that even possible."

"… I don't know. The night you died, I gotta admit. She sent chills down my spine. And ain't nothing ever done that before."

Dean's stomach sank at Bobby's words. But before he could open his mouth to respond he was cut off.

"DEAN!" Sam yelled from the top of the stairs. Dean and Bobby instantly jogged up the steps to meet Sam in Emily's room.

When they did they found Sam holding a note.

"Oh you've gotta be fucking kidding me!" Dean growled snatching the note.

" _I just need some time alone, don't worry. I'll be back for dinner."_

"She's gone." Sam sighed.

"Where would she have gone?" Dean shrugged.

"I don't know, I mean she lived with Bobby for about a month, I'm sure she explored around town a little."

"She was gone every day, but I don't know how much of it was spent in that bar." Bobby reminded them.

"She wouldn't go back there. She's not that stupid." Dean shook his head. "But she's gotta be somewhere."

…..

I walked down the road coming into the edge of town. It had been a while since I was last on these streets, passing by the old shops, bars, diners and liquor stores on the corner. I pondered whether or not a drink would be appropriate at the moment, but I worried adding alcohol to my scattered mind might only make it more confusing.

I wasn't here to run away from my problems. I was here to find a clear head. To breathe some fresh air and try and figure out who the hell I even am anymore… and alcohol wasn't going to help me do that. So I continued to walk past them.

There was a diner with large windows all in the dining area giving you the view of the street outside. I decided this was as good a place as any. I wandered in and picked a table against the glass. Ordering just a rootbeer when the waitress walked over to take my order.

Out the window I could get a half view of the park at the center of the downtown area. A small playground and a few sets of swings. I watched as the children swang back and forth. Laughing. Living an innocent life. They have no idea of the horrors walking around every day. They don't know the pain and suffering the world often curses you with. They don't know what It's like to question your entire existence. To question who you are… what you are.

They don't know. And I envy that.

I thought back to a time when I knew nothing of that world. When I didn't know the truth. When the only horror in my life was not understanding why my mommy had to be in heaven, and everyone else's walked them to school everyday.

But that couldn't last forever. It wouldn't… because my life never gave me the chance to hold onto that piece of innocence.

….

(FLASHBACK)

(Third person POV)

Emily- 7

Dean- 18

Sam- 14

"Em, Sam, dinner's ready!" Dean called out as he put ramen noodles into two different bowls and set them on the small table in the corner.

"Thanks De." Emily smiled as she plopped in her chair and started slurping at her soup. Her dark hair falling into her face. Dean moved around and used the band on her arm to pull it back into a ponytail so that she could slurp freely.

"Ramen again?" Sam sighed as he sat at the table.

"Well if you'd like to buy us all surf and turf I'll be happy to pour this down the sink." Dean shot at him.

"What's surf and turf?" Emily asked through noodle stuffed cheeks.

"Steak and seafood."

"Yumm! I love steak!" She smiled as she slurped a long noodle all the way up until it popped the tip of her nose. She giggled and Sam smiled to her.

"Did dad call today?" Sam asked as Dean straddled the third chair and watched his siblings.

"Nope. Just yesterday."

"Of course not."

"He'll be back in a few hours. He said he was coming home at some point today."

"Is daddy working again?" Emily asked.

"Yes sweetheart." Dean answered.

"How come daddy works so much?"

"Em, we've been over this a million times." Sam sighed.

"But, doesn't he run out of things to sell?" Emily whined in return.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look. Over the last year Emily had become increasingly curious about their father's absence and the lifestyle they lived. She was becoming more aware that it wasn't normal to move and have new schools every few weeks or so. When John was home she would be so excited that she wouldn't ask him, but when he was gone she would badger the boys about where he was, what he was doing, and when he was going to come back.

"Nahh, Dad's the best in the business. He just works hard kiddo." Dean winked.

"How come we can't go work with him?"

"Because you have to go to school."

"But. I could do home school?"

"Who would teach you? Dean?" Sam mocked with laughter.

"Hey!... I got my GED."

"What's a GED?" Emily asked.

"Why do you ask so many questions?" Dean asked in return before ruffling her hair and walking away. Truth was he didn't have always have an answer for her like he used to. She was smarter by the day, never missed a damn thing.

That night after Emily had bathed and brushed her teeth Dean tucked her into bed next to Sam, who was reading by the light of the lamp.

"Alright babygirl. Bed time."

"But Deeeeee… I'm not tired."

"Well why don't you ask Sammy to read to you?"

"Will you really?" She turned and asked him with big brown doe eyes.

"Sure Em." Sam smiled. "But I can't promise you'll like it."

"What is it?"

"A book about a lightning theif!"

"Whoa! Cool, read it to me Sammy!" Emily said as she turned and cuddled into his side. Dean smirked as Sam began to read aloud.

"I'll be back in an hour." He called out as he pulled his Dad's leather jacket on over his shoulders.

But as he reached for the door knob there was banging on the door.

Sam and Emily jumped, Sam grabbing her and pulling her behind him slightly as he sat up and reached for the sawed off shotgun he had under his side of the bed. Dean quickly pulled his pistol from his waist band.

"Sammy what's happening?" Emily whispered in fear.

"Shhhh." He said calmly.

Dean moved to open the door.

"Dean… Sa-am." Their father coughed.

Sam instantly dropped the gun.

"DADDY!" Emily jumped up. Dean threw open the door confused, but the sight of his father covered in blood and using the wall to hold himself up answered the questions in his mind.

"Dad?!" Dean said as he quickly dipped under John's arm and helped carry him into the room.

"Daddy? Daddy what's wrong!" Emily asked running over to him.

"Daddy's fine sweetheart… Dean. Get her out of here."

"Sam, take her to the vending machine or something. Sam nodded and quickly pulled Emily by the hand outside the door, shutting it behind them.

"I wanna stay with Daddy!" Emily fought as they walked towards the vending machines.

"Em we'll be right back, okay?"

Inside the motel room Dean helped his dad over to the bed where he laid back, Dean helped him out of his shirt where his shoulder was displaced and the deep cuts on his chest bleeding heavily.

"What the hell Dad?"

"Wendigo got a little wild on me." John admitted through gritted teeth as Dean popped his shoulder back into place. "You remember how to stitch?"

"Yeah, I gotcha. How come you didn't call? I'd had Em to bed over an hour ago so she'd been asleep… or at least anywhere but here"

"Lost my damn phone."

"Oh." Dean said as he sterilized the needle and prepared to stitch his father's wounds.

"They okay?"

"Yeah. They're good… she's getting curious though Dad. Every time you're gone she has new questions."

"I know." John sighed. Telling Dean about the world around him was one of the hardest things John ever had to do. Then to tell him his mom died because of it… even harder. But Dean was tough like him. He took it like a man would. He dug his heels in and prepared for the battle that would become the rest of his life. He caught on quick to everything. Telling Sam, he felt more prepared. Knew what to expect… and while Sam held a little more resistance than Dean did he still took the news well.

But to tell Emily?

To steal that kind of innocence from his little girl? His baby.

He couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew deep down it was inevitable, but he couldn't even ponder the thought without breaking his own heart over and over again.

Sam and Dean both felt the same. If it were up to Sam… She'd never know. Dean only wanted her to know so that he could train her to protect herself, so he could always keep her safe.

But at the end of the day all three of them knew that time was coming, and it was coming soon.

There were knocks on the door.

"Almost done." Dean hollered out. Sam walked over and sat Emily on the hood of the impala, then he cracked open the door, mumbling something inside to Dean.

Emily however was occupied with the blood she could see through the windshield. It was all over the steering wheel, and the glass of the window on the driver side. On the door handles, and all over the jacket laying in the seat that John must have used to hold pressure against his wounds.

All of it quickly became too much for her and she began to cry.

She slid off the hood and went to the trunk, where they usually kept a bag of quick need toiletries including Kleenex to blow her now runny nose, but when it clicked and opened the trunk was filled with things she had never seen before.

Large sharp knives, multiple guns, various items covered in blood. Books, and crosses, and a rosary in the corner. In the middle was a journal. One she had seen before in front of her father as he poured himself whiskey at night when he thought she was asleep.

"Emily!" Sam called out. She quickly grabbed the journal and slid it into her jacket before quietly closing the trunk and running to Sam.

"Where were you kiddo?"

"I went to get a tissue."

"You okay?"

"Is daddy okay?"

"I don't know, wanna go in and see for yourself?"

She nodded quickly. Sam opened the door and pushed her lightly to walk in front of him. This time when she saw her father he was leaned against the headboard in a tshirt and jeans, clean and blood free with a smile on his face. Dean was burning something in the a trashcan in the bathroom, but Emily didn't get the chance to see what it was because all she could do was run to the man with the big brown eyes just like hers.

She leapt towards him, and even though it pained him he swept her up and squeezed her like a teddy bear.

"There's my babygirl." He mumbled against her soft hair.

"I missed you daddy."

"I missed you too babygirl."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes I'm okay."

"You were bleeding." She said as she pulled back to look at his face.

"I'm okay Em, tell me about what you've been doing!"

Emily looked down, not answering him.

"Sweetheart?"

Her eyes stayed glued to her hands.

"Emily what's wrong?"

"I don't want you to be mad…"

"Why would I be mad sweetheart?"

His word's caught Sam and Dean's attention and they began to nonchalantly pay more attention to the conversation.

"Because I took it."

"Took what sweetheart?"

With hesitation she reached into her inner jacket pocket and pulled out the journal from the trunk. The one she had a feeling she wasn't supposed to see.

Dean's heart sank. He exchanged a look with Sam that he would never forget, and then they stood in silence to watch what would come next.

"Emily where did you get this?"

"I went to get a tissue out of the trunk… but there were other things in there."

John swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Did you read any of this?"

She shook her head back and forth. For a moment John contemplated lying to her… again. Right to her pouty little face. But something in him told him that he just couldn't do it. He can't lie to her because she would know. She would know he was lying, and then that would only prolong and delay what was coming next.

"Babygirl, you know I love you sooo much, right?"

She nodded.

"And you know your brothers and I would do anything in the world to keep you safe."

"Yes daddy."

"I need to tell you something… but you have to keep it a secret. Its just for us okay. Me, you, Sammy and Dean… no one else can know."

"I'm good at secrets Daddy."

"I know you are sweetheart." He tried to force himself to smile. Dean sat down on the bed across from them, and Sam stood against the small sink in the corner of the room. "Emily. Do you remember when Dean let you stay up and watch that scary movie? And you thought there was a monster sleeping under the bed that night?"

"Yes, De told me that monsters are only in the movies. And that I don't have to be afraid, because he'll protect me."

"Well… Dean told you that because you were too young to understand. There are monsters sometimes. They're very real, and they hurt people."

Emily's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. As if the words he said were weren't in English. Then she turned to face Dean.

"De… you said it wasn't real."

"I know kiddo. I'm sorry… I didn't want you to be scared."

"Does he live under my bed?"

"No." John shook his head. "No sweetheart there is no monster under your bed. But there are monsters in the woods, in the dark, under other kid's beds."

"… What kind of monsters Daddy?"

"All kinds of monsters. Monsters that look like people. Monsters that eat people. Ghosts… sometimes when people die their bodies leave but their spirit stays."

Emily just stared into her father's big brown eyes… looking for any sign that said he was just kidding. Or playing a joke on her. But all she could find was honesty. Sadness.

She stared until her lip began to quiver. John reached up and rubbed his thumb against her chin, lifting it up slightly.

"Whatcha thinking kiddo?"

"… I'm scared. I don't want monsters to find me."

"They won't." Dean told her immediately. "Those monsters will never get you. Because you have us."

"What about the other kids?"

"Well… you know how I have to go to work for a long time?" John asked.

"Yeah."

"That's because I'm out trying to save the other kids from monsters too. Your brothers and I. We help people, we save them and kill the monsters."

"Really?"

"Yes babygirl. Really… I was bleeding because I was fighting a monster today, and it hurt me. But I was able to kill it, and save someone's life."

"Am I gonna have to fight the monsters too?"

John looked between Sam and Dean. Tears flowed down Sam's cheeks as he kept his eyes pointed to the floor, and Dean's were becoming glossy and full of emotion. None of them wanted to answer this question. None of them wanted their lives to be forever changed from this day forward… to never have a normal day again.

They knew it would be question after question. Having to remind her constantly to keep the secret, teaching her about weapons, and hand to hand combat. Telling her about the monsters that they knew would plague her dreams because she was too young…

She was too young. But she was also too smart.

Too smart to be fooled any longer. Too smart to fall for their lies anymore.

"Yes Emily. One day you'll fight the monsters too." John finally told her.

Sam finally snapped. He kicked the chair and fled from the room. Slamming the bathroom door behind him. Emily watched and her eyes watered.

"Did I make Sammy mad?" She asked with a quivering lip.

"No sweetheart. It's not you." John said as he kissed her forehead.

"I got him." Dean said as he stood and walked toward the bathroom, prompting Sam to open the door. Emily watched as they both disappeared again.

"Do Sammy and De kill the monsters?"

"Dean does. Sam has only helped me a few times… he likes to stay with you."

"Are they scary?"

"Yes. Sometimes they are. And its okay to be scared, but you have to learn how to be brave if you're going to help save the other kids."

"… I don't know if I can be brave Daddy."

"Oh, I know you can." John told her confidently with a smile. "Wanna know why?"

She nodded.

"Because you're a Winchester, Emily Anne. You're part of the toughest bravest family out there."

"Like you, Daddy?"

"Just like me babygirl."

Emily fell back against John's chest, where he cradled her until Sam and Dean left the bathroom. Sam moved straight to the other bed and laid down pretending to be asleep, not wanting to discuss anything else for the night. Emily was nodding off, and John prompted Dean to take his place so that he could clean out the car and shower.

Dean took her into his arms and leaned back on the bed next to Sam. Emily realized the transfer of warm bodies, and she reached up and wrapped her arms around Dean's neck, squeezing slightly. He let a small tear slide down his cheek as he realized she was still awake because she was scared to go to sleep. Scared of what else might change in her world the next time she closed her eyes.

"Go to sleep Em… I gotcha."

She sniffled slightly and squeezed him harder. He squeezed her back and ran his fingers through her soft hair until her grip loosened and she became lax. Once he knew she was asleep he slid them both further down and tucked her safely between himself and Sam.

….

(Present time)

(Emily's POV)

One of the girls had pigtails… bouncy and curly and shining in the light of the sun. She giggled and laughed and she kicked the dirt as her feet scraped the ground.

I sipped my drink and watched the children play until their mothers gathered them and they all dispersed in separate directions. I decided it was probably time for me to disperse as well… I picked up the phone I had turned off and turned it back on. Sighs escaped me as I read the dozen texts from both Sam and Dean… but none from Judson.

I began my text back.

 _Chill out. I told you I needed some time. I'm heading back to Bobby's now._

Then I stashed my phone and left some cash before wondering back down the road towards Bobby's.

What am I becoming?

Am I going to ever get to live my life again, or am I going to be on the run from everything and everyone that has their own agenda for me? For my abilities. I would give anything to just give them up. To stop them forever. Or turn them off, or whatever. I just want to get away from it all.

I want to get away from myself.

I walked into the sunset and back down the road outside of town and towards Bobby's, but I could quickly hear a car approaching from behind me. I assumed it was Bobby or my brothers and sighed. But when I turned I found a large black SUV coming towards me.

An odd feeling crept up my spine.

I tried to cover the headlights with my hand and see who was climbing out of the passenger seat.

"Hello! Who's there?"

No reply. I reached around in my pocket and realized I had forgotten my gun in the midst of my hurry to leave. Dammit!

"Who are you!" I asked as the person approached me in the dark.

"It's been a long time Emily." A familiar voice called back to me.

Chase.

I'd know that voice anywhere. The way I respond to it instantly against my will, as if I was his trained bitch.

"Where have you been baby?" He asked as he stepped in front of me.

"I… I'm sorry Chase. My brothers. They came back, and I had to leave."

"Yeah, yeah… I met one of those brothers." He nodded slightly, and I could faintly see the large scar above his left eye, and another on his chin. Dean damn near beat his face off.

"I'm sorry Chase. He… he didn't know about the drugs."

"Speaking of that. You owe me some money babe."

"Okay. I'll get it to you… I promise. I just. I don't have any on me right now."

"Ohhh. Well. That's just not gonna work for me."

Something inside me screamed. Scratch, clawed, and dug at me to get angry. Get angry at him for what he did… fight. Run. Scream. Anything.

But the other part of me that learned to obey him without hesitation took over. I can't even explain why. I can't explain why his presence was more threatening to me than any angel or demon…. Or why I submitted to him when he pulled me forward and asked me to get in the car.

…

(Third person POV)

"Where the hell is she?!" Dean stomped as he paced the kitchen. "She texted me an hour ago!"

"Maybe we should go back out and look agin." Sam suggested.

"Boys… I know you've been avoiding it all day. But call the damn boy. He could probably help."

"No.. NO. The last thing I need is to owe that son of a bitch anything!" Dean argued.

"How do you think the angels keep up with her?"

"What?"

"The angels… how do you think they keep track of her? How did the boy always know where she was."

"I don't know." Dean shrugged missing the whole point. But Sam quickly caught on.

"Well then we should find out." Sam said standing. "We should know that kind of information, and this is the perfect excuse to get it. See if she's tagged with some angel lowjack or something?"

"… Okay. Fine. I'll call." Dean surrendered pulling out his phone. Dialing Judson's number.

"Hello?" Judson answered on the second ring.

"We need your help."

"Yeah. What's up?"

"Emily's gone…"

"WHAT?! What do you mean gone?"

"Shut up… she's gone and we need to find her."

"Where are you now."

"Bobby's."

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"Earlier when you were here. After you left we went to check on her, and she left a note saying she needed some space, and she'd be back for dinner. We looked but no luck, figured she'd be home soon… She texted saying she was on her way an hour ago. Now nothing. We need help."

"Dammit. Okay… give me five minutes." Judson said as he hung up the phone.

Bobby and the boys paced the floor, waiting for a call back. But what they got instead was a knock on the door. Dean instantly opened it.

"Okay I've got her narrowed down." Judson said barging through the door with a map.

"What?" Dean said following him into the kitchen where he laid it down on the table.

"I can sense her, but it's not exact. I just know she's in a certain part of town."

"Is that how you followed us?" Sam asked.

"Yes." He said without hesitation and he bit the cap off a pen and drew a circle. "Here, she's somewhere in here."

The other three men leaned over the table.

"Bobby, what's there?"

"Nothing? A few bars, crappy apartments. Its just an old part of town."

"… Not that bar right?" Dean asked.

"No." Judson answered quickly. "That one's across town."

"You knew about that bar?" Bobby asked.

"I only knew she was hanging around there… why, what's with the look on everyone's faces?"

"The guy at the bar she was 'hanging around' with had her strung out… fed her some heroin the night we found her there. Wasted out of her damn mind." Dean explained.

"What?!" Judson and Sam asked simultaneously.

"Apparently he was supplying her with her pills, and feeding her other stuff on the side. Having her work for him, using her." Bobby explained.

"And she allowed some stupid drug dealer to boss her around? Are we talking about the same person?" Sam asked confused. HIS sister would never let some dumbass guy own her.

"Dark place, Sam… she wasn't herself."

"I didn't know." Judson sighed. "I was only watching her come and go from a distance. I couldn't get close without her finding out about it. I just figured she was drinking a lot. She did that while we were on the road."

"You've gotta be kidding me…" Sam sighed as he ran his hand down his face. "So where is she?"

"Somewhere in this three block radius."

"Let's go." Dean said pulling on his jacket.

…

(Emily's POV)

My vision was blurry, my head swimming.

Everything was louder. Then quiet… but at the same time still blaring in my ears. I don't know what was in the needle, but when he asked for my arm I could only close my eyes and wait for it to be over.

"I'm gonna have some friends come see you, okay?" He said as he took my face in his hands. "When this is all over you won't owe me anything anymore beautiful. Then he leaned in and kissed me… his hands working their way under my shirt and up my body giving me chills.

Something inside still screamed at me to come alive. Save myself. Run. Fight… kill the bastard.

But that something was caged by fear. Obedience to a man who at one time was the only thing I felt kept me alive. Kept me going… not because I loved him. Or wanted him… but because he wanted me. Because he supplied me. Because he knew me, at a time when I didn't know myself he stepped in and took the place of everything else. Him and the drugs. They took the place of everything else.

"Chase… can I go home?" I asked weakly. "Please. Just let me go home."

"Not yet baby. Not till the debt is paid."

"I'm sorry." I whispered to him.

"Oh baby, not yet but you will be."

"Don't hurt me, Chase… please."

"Shhh… it'll feel good. Just take this… and it'll all feel good." He said as he injected the needle in my arm. Then he left me alone and in the dark, unsure of where I was, of whether or not my feet were on the ground.

….

(Third person POV)

The impala parked in the center of the circle drawn onto the map. The men splitting up into two groups searching the bars.

"She's close… I can feel her." Judson said as he and Dean entered the third one on their half of the map.

"Feel her?"

"Yes. When I've been with a charge for a long period of time, or been close to a charge then I form a bond. And this bond allows me to kind of sense them. When they're anxious, or afraid… when they're angry."

"And what are you feeling right about now?"

"Not much… just that she's close. Its almost like things are muted in her mind. Unfocused. I can't pick an emotion to zero in on."

"Something tells me that's not a good thing." Dean said as he began to scan the bar. Judson did the same, they moved up to the upper deck and used the overhead advantage to get a better look.

"Hey…" Dean said tapping Judson. "Look. That's the guy."

Dean pointed down to a man with dark shaggy hair and big brown eyes. He moved through the bar like he was very familiar with hit. Like a snake in the grass. Movements distinct and smooth as he made his way through the crowd and then behind the bar.

"Let's go." Dean said as he rushed down the steps and through the crowd to the bar, jumping the counter with Judson on his tail.

"HEY! You can't be back here!" The bartender yelled. Dean pulled his gun, and the bartender backed up with his hands raised.

"DEAN!" Judson yelled from the back. Dean moved to the sound of his voice and found the door to the back room locked.

"Hey! Open the door!" Judson said as he pounded against it.

"EMILY!" Dean yelled. Both men were silent waiting to see if she replies…

"Deee." A weak voice mumbled. Then there was the sound of a slap, and her cries on the other side of the door.

Dean's foot raised and collided with the door, busting it off the lock and one of the hinges as he shoved his way through it and found Chase with his hand holding her face as he had her shoved against the wall.

"HEY!" He yelled as he yanked him backwards by the collar and slammed him repeatedly against the ground. Judson ran to Emily as her body collapsed against the wall.

"Emily… Emily, what did you take?" He asked as he tapped her cheeks and noticed her dilated pupils and slurred speech.

"I do'know Jud… hurts."

"Hurts? What hurts?" He asked as he started to search her body for wounds. Beside the red hand print on the side of her face he couldn't find anything indicating the source of pain.

"Arm.."

He grabbed her arms and slid her sleeves up, revealing an injection site in the bend of her arm.

"Dean, he shot her up with something… she's burning up. We gotta get her outta here." Judson called out, but he turned and found Dean spalttered in blood still pounding the guys head into the floors.

"Dean! DEAN! He's not breathing, okay! He's done… she needs you!"

Dean's vision was nothing but red, but when the words 'she needs you' hit his ears he stopped, not realizing he had been holding his breath. He took in a gasp of air as he dropped his grip and moved towards them.

"Em, Emily… what was it babygirl? What was it?"

"I d'know De. It hurts." She whined and slurred, falling over in Judson's arms with her eyes still closed.

"Hey, c'mon kiddo wake up!" He said shaking her. Her body was covered in a cold sweat.

"We gotta get her out of here. Call Sam. Have them meet us at the car.

"..Jud." Emily whispered as he carried her out of the bar.

"I'm here baby, we got you."

"I'm sorry. I. Couldn't say no… he would be mad."

"Shhh… we'll talk later sweetheart. Let's get you out of here."

Judson rushed her out of the bar with Dean hot on his tail, they met Sam and Bobby at the car.

"Is she okay?!" Sam asked as he rushed over to them.

"She's been drugged. We don't know what it was."

"I'll fucking kill him!" Sam growled.

"Too late." Dean said as cop sirens echoed in the distance. The four men rushed into the vehicle and slammed on the gas, Sam and Judson in the backseat with Emily. Sam pulled her from Judson and cradled her in his arms.

"Dean she's sweating all over the place, we've gotta get her temp down fast. We have no idea what she took?"

"No. None!"

"We may need to get her to a hospital boys… we can't fix what we don't know."

"Bobby you know how she feels about those."

"Well she can't feel at all if she's dead!"

"Alright! Alright… fine. We're going." Dean caved as he punched the gas and turned towards the hospital.

"Emily, can you hear me?" Sam asked softly as her flushed cheeks laid against him.

"No feel good…" She mumbled.

"I know sweetheart. We gotcha, we're gonna fix it okay?"

"M'gonna die?" She asked with a tear rolling out of the corner of eye, smearing her mascara along her face.

Judson's heart sank at her question and he reached out and grabbed her hand.

"No baby, no ones gonna die. Okay? You just stay with us."

"M'scared." She admitted with a whine. "He's gonna be mad at me…"

"Shhh. Sweetheart he's dead." Sam told her. "He can't hurt you ever again."

"Did I kill'm?" She asked with concern.

"No, you didn't." Judson told her. "But he's gone. He's gone Em."

"He said… owed him." She mumbled as her eyes closed again. "I.. debt to pay."

"For what the drugs?" Sam asked.

She nodded slightly and then became unconcios.

"Emily!" Sam shook her. "EM! Wake up!"

But she didn't respond, she just laid in his arms.

"Dean! Step on it, I can barely feel her pulse!" Sam panicked. Dean drifted the corner bringing him to where he could see the large lit up letters of the hospital. He drove faster than he ever had before and skidded into the ambulance bay at the back of the ER. Sam jumped out of the car, Emily in his arms and burst through the doors.

"HELP! Help us please!"

A rush of nurses flew to his aid and before he knew it Emily was laid out on a stretcher before him, being rushed down the hall and into a trauma room he and Dean rushed in behind her while Judson and Bobby moved the car and began to answer the thousand and one questions from the registration staff.

Sam and Dean watched as they cut off her sweaty clothes and connected her to a heart monitor and placed IVs.

"Watch her arm… he injected her with drugs." Sam called out.

"What kind?" A doctor called back.

"We don't know." Dean admitted with panic in his eyes. "Please, just SAVE HER!"

"We're doing everything we can… please. Step out and let us work." A nurse said walking over to them.

"No, please… we'll be quiet please let us stay. She's our baby sister. She's all we have!" Sam pleaded.

"I'm sorry, you've got to let us stabilize her and we'll bring you back." The nurse insisted.

"NO! Dammit, we are NOT leaving her again."

"Dean!" Bobby's voice called out from behind them. "Get your ass out here before they call security and throw you out of this building! Now."

Dean reluctantly backed out of the room, dragging Sam with him. The three of them were escorted to the waiting room where Judson was pacing the floors.

"What'd they say?" He rushed over.

"Nothing yet. They kicked us out to work on her." Dean said as he walked past and then went out the doors. Sam watched from the large glass windows as he walked over to the parked impala and began slamming his fist against the trunk.

"He needs to change clothes… he's covered in that guys blood." Bobby pointed out.

"Yeah. Yeah… I got him." Sam said moving to join his brother outside. He approached Dean from the front.

"Dean… you've gotta change before people start asking questions." Sam told him calmly.

Dean took a moment to look down at his blood stained shirt. Then he quickly ripped it off and traded it for a new one in the trunk, using a rag and holy water to wash his hands and face.

"Let's go back inside. I wanna be there when the doctors come out."

….

The four of them sat in the waiting room for what felt like several hours, but according to the clock was only one or two. Finally the double doors swung open and the same doctor from the trauma room walked towards them pulling off his gloves.

"Are you four with the overdose?"

"Overdose?" Sam asked concerned.

"Yes. She had a deadly amount of drugs in her system. She would have died if you had waited any longer to bring her in."

"Hey we didn't wait at all! Some guy drugged her ass and we got her here as soon as we could!" Dean argued.

"Okay… okay. My apologies. We see a lot of young girls with accidental overdoses these days. There's a bad batch of meth going around. Deadly. We think that's what was used."

"He shot her up with meth?!"

"Well. Its not exactly real meth. There's someone mixing the batches wrong and swapping ingredients with household chemicals. Its cheaper to make, and quadruples the effects. Causing many people to overdose on it because it only takes a fraction of what you would usually use to get high."

"So… what happens now? Is she okay?" Judson asked.

"We're working to flush out her system. We've got her on a few drips to regulate her heart rate and blood pressure until the drugs are out of her system. We're going to keep her in the ICU overnight and watch her very closely. She's still unconscious for now and probably will be until morning. The next few hours are critical. We can take you back two at a time, and when she gets moved to her room there's room for one person to stay the night. Visiting hours won't start again until tomorrow morning once she's in the ICU."

"I'm staying." Dean instantly answered. "Can we see her now please?"

"Yes. You and one more."

Dean and Sam followed the doctor back to the trauma room and moved to stand at her side. Sam grabbed her head while Dean gently pushed her hair away from her face. She had an oxygen tube in her nose, but thankfully not tubes down her throat. The monitors beeped, showing her high heart rate and low blood pressure. Her oxygen levels wavering slightly.

"Why didn't she fight him off?" Sam asked out loud, but more to himself than anything.

"What?" Dean asked.

"He's just some guy… Dean. We know what she can do. She knows what she can do. She could have killed him with the snap of her fingers, so why didn't she? She could have stopped him."

"I don't know Sammy… you shoulda seen her when we found her the first time. She was more worried about making him mad then anything. I mean I just got back from hell and all she could think to do was call him and start apologizing for leaving without asking permission first… it was sick. Like, he owned her. Like she had to answer to him for everything. I've never seen her submit to anyone like that… not even Dad."

"… I'm sorry Dean."

"For what?"

"For leaving… if I knew it would have turned out like this."

"You couldn't have known any of this was going to happen Sam. Hell, we didn't even know she had the drugs in the first place. For months."

"I know… I just. I could have been there. I could have prevented all this. But I wasn't."

"Well. You're here now."

"Yeah." Sam sighed. "Doesn't feel like I'm doing much good."

"I know what you mean… I feel useless just standing here."

"Is that guy really dead?"

"I'm pretty sure he stopped breathing long before I stopped slamming his head against the floor."

"Good."

"We should let the kid come see her for a minute, before she gets moved for the night." Dean sighed.

"Seriously?"

"She'd be dead if he hadn't helped."

"… yeah. I know." Sam surrendered. "You stay with her, I'll send him in. I don't want him alone with her."

Dean nodded and waited as Sam left the room, minutes later Judson entered it. Acting as if Dean wasn't even present as he rushed to her side and leaned over her, kissing her hand as he wrapped it in his own.

"Thank god you're okay…" He mumbled against her skin.

"You call this okay?" Dean asked.

"She's alive."

"She nearly died… because she was too overwhelmed by what was going on in her life. She felt like she had to run off to catch her breath because she wasn't ready. She wasn't ready to see you! She was avoiding you because she knew she wasn't ready to deal with this shit yet… and there you come barging in like you have a right."

Judson took Dean's words like a punch to the gut, but he still stood his ground. Refusing to leave her side.

"I'm sorry Dean. I didn't know she would run off. I had to tell her, tell you all the truth… or like I said the angels would come to look for themselves."

"Yeah, and what do we tell them now?"

"This actually sways in her favor… even though I think it's a load of bullshit. They'll look at the fact that she didn't obliterate him as a sign that she has weaknesses, and that weaknesses mean she can be taken down easier. Reminding them that she's not bulletproof lessens her as a threat in their eyes."

"Fucking bastards." Dean hissed under his breath.

"Like I said. I don't agree, and I wish we weren't here. But it does help her in one way."

"How long you been working for these jackasses anyways?"

"About 70 or 80 years or so… I don't know. I don't keep track anymore."

"Excuse me?" Dean asked. "You don't even know how old you are and you're dating MY girl? Does this not count as robbing the cradle for you?"

"I'm 21. I'll be 21 until I die… I've just been 21 for a very very long time."

"So… you do this often then? Swap girls every decade or so?"

"No. I've never fell in love with a charge before, and I've made sure to never be intimate with one. I told you. I told her. I NEVER meant for this to happen… I just couldn't stop myself. She pulls people in, and. You just want to be there for her. You just want to make things a little easier on her. That's all I ever wanted Dean."

"Yeah well… life's not looking so easy right now."

"Yeah. I'll uh. I'll take that as my cue to leave. They said they'd be taking her upstairs soon anyways. I'm gonna hang with Bobby for the night if that's okay with you."

"Whatever." Dean sighed as he pulled his attention back to Emily. Pulling his fingers through her hair again, watching her chest rise and fall gently as the boy left the room.

"Emily… If you can hear me in there somewhere. Just know that I'm here. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. None of us are. We're here babygirl."

With the words off his chest and out in the open Dean pulls up a chair and holds her hand as he waits… waits for them to come and move her. Waits for her vitals to improve. Waits for her to wake up.

If one thing had become clear by the end of the day it was this… no one was taking this girl away from him. Dead or alive, in heaven or hell.

He'd fight to the death for her.


	79. Chapter 79

Author's Note: Oh you people must have the patience of an angel… I feel like every time I post another chapter I'm apologizing for taking so long. I just. Have a lot of life going on right now. Between wedding planning, personal issues, and even a bit of a medical issue recently… I have only been able to focus on little bits at a time. I am NOT giving up or walking away from this story, or you beautiful patient wonderful people. If you can just bear with me I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'm so sorry. I love you all!

(Third Person POV)

Dean sat in the recliner as close to the bed as the nurses would allow him to, Emily slept peacefully through the night as the people ushered in and out of her room constantly. Beeping on and off continuously as her blood pressure would rise, but drop again suddenly. Her oxygen wavering as she became too sedated, and then back up as Dean attempted to wake her.

Sam, Bobby, and Judson all retreated to Bobby's for a sleepless night. Sam avoided Judson at all costs, and Bobby pulled himself away into the study. None of them slept for more than an hour or so of dozing, Sam constantly texted Dean throughout the night and vice versa. Judson laid awake on the couch, debating on whether or not coming clean to Emily was a mistake. Whether or not it was his fault she was in that hospital bed.

But like all nights this one ended, and as the sun began to rise Dean stirred awake at the sound of Emily's voice.

"Mmmm… De." She mumbled. Dean jumped up and was at her side in a fraction of a second.

"Em, can you hear me in there?" He asked as he noticed her eyes were still closed.

"Mmhmm." She nodded.

"You scared the hell out of us kiddo."

But she was asleep again before she even had the chance to respond. Dean kissed her forehead and sat back in the chair, dialing Sam.

"Hello?"

"Hey man, she woke up."

"What?! Is she okay? Is she awake?"

"She was for a second, she's back out now. But she woke up just a bit. Spoke a few words."

"Alright, we'll be there in half an hour."

"Bring food. This vending machine is crap."

"Yeah okay." Sam chuckled.

…..

(Emily's POV)

I began to hear voices, familiar voices. But they were muffled and distant. But I could hear them say my name… hear his name.

Chase.

The last thing I could remember was him taking me to the back of the bar. In the room, where he just asked me to close my eyes. Asked me to trust him. Told me I owed him. Told me it wouldn't hurt.

But it did. And then I felt all kinds of things.

I could barely remember the slap.

Barely remembered Judson and Dean coming through the door.

Judson.

His voice… it's one of the voices I was hearing. I focused on it, let it drag me to consciousness. Let it fill my ears.

"Jud." I whispered.

"Em?" His voice was closer now. His hands on my face.

I slowly pried me eyes open and met his. Green as the leaves on the tree and full of worry. I just stared at him without saying a word.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked.

"I'm sorry Em. I didn't mean to push too hard. I didn't mean to freak you out."

"I know." I said looking back down.

"Dean." Judson said a little louder, looking towards the door. I follow his eyes over to where Dean and Sam rushed into the room. "She's awake."

"Em, hey." Dean said with a relieved laugh as he sat on the edge of the bed next to me. I smiled briefly and watched as Judson walked out of the room. Sam replacing his empty seat beside me. "How you feeling?"

"Confused." I mumbled.

"Need us to fill in some blanks?" Sam offered.

"I don't think I wanna know." I sighed, then I looked back to the door. "Where's he going?"

"I don't know. Probably leaving for a while. He said he would go once he knew you were okay."

"Go?"

"Yeah. We uh. We thought maybe all this would be a bit much for you right now. That you might need some space." Dean admitted.

"Oh."

"Do you want us to call him back?"

"Umm. I. I don't think so."

"Hey Em… can we ask you something?"

"I guess."

"What the hell happened kiddo? Why were you with that guy?"

I sat and thought for a minute or two. About all the emotions that had flooded me. About how I wasn't sure what was up and what was down. And then he just… he was there.

I buried my face in my hands in embarrassment.

How could I have been so stupid. Such a fucking idiot.

Why did I let him take me? Why did I let him drug me? Why did I EVER let him touch me.

Why couldn't I fight back. Why couldn't I defend myself… why didn't I want to.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, fighting back my emotions. "I'm so stupid."

"Emily. You are not a stupid girl. I'm just trying to figure out how we ended up here. This isn't a move you would make. This isn't you at all."

"He said I owed him."

The words were muffled between my hands.

"Emily you know better than that." Sam encouraged. "You. Don't owe anything to anyone. That guy took advantage of you. Used you. He had no right to ask anything of you."

"I'm sorry." Was all I could find to reply with.

"Em. You don't have to be sorry."

"But I am."

"Well. He's not going to be a problem anymore." Dean reassured me.

"… is he dead?"

"Yes."

"Another person dead because of me." I chuckled. "Bet the angles loved that."

"No. Not because of you… because he was a piece of shit."

"Can I just be alone for a while." I whispered.

"No. You can't." Dean answered angrily. I finally pulled my eyes up to his in surprise.

"De please."

"No."

"Dean.. maybe we shou-" Sam started.

"No. maybe we shouldn't Sam. What good does her being alone do? Huh? Do you want her wallowing in self pity some more? Do you want her alone while she's dealing with shit no one should have to deal with. Cause I don't. Obviously alone is not a productive thing for her. The three of us are in this together. Do you hear me? BOTH of you. WE will take this one. WE will figure out our next step. WE will beat this. Because we are family. And I'll be damned if I let anything come between that."

The room was silent. Dean's words sinking into my ears. Sam squeezed my and rubbed his thumb against my wrist.

"We get your ass stable. We get the hell out of this hospital. We meet with Judson so he can report back to his little bastard squad and then we get the hell out of dodge and get back to doing what we do best… hunting."

Dean stormed out of the room. Leaving Sam and I alone.

"You know he's just worked up because he's scared Em."

"I know."

"Em, look at me."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Honestly Sam. I'm so embarrassed and… ashamed. That I don't know how I'll ever be able to look you, Dean, or Bobby in the eye again."

"Em you don't have to be embarrassed. Or ashamed. You made a mistake. That's it."

"No… Sam. I got into that car with the smallest hint of hesitation. When he asked for my arm. I gave it. Willingly. I don't. I don't know why. It was just like… he knew me at a time when I wasn't myself. And as sick and twisted as it was Sam. He was there. He kept me on my feet… for a while anyways. And last night. When he showed up, I was on my way back but I was still feeling pretty lost. Pretty not myself. It was like I just obeyed him because it's what I was supposed to do. I LET him own me."

He looked at me with nothing left to say.

"So yeah… I'm pretty ashamed." I said as I rolled over and faced away from him.

….

"Alright, everyone got their shit?" Dean asked as he got in the car.

"Yeah." Sam answered.

"Em?"

"Yes." I answered softly, staring out the window.

"Good, let's get the hell out of here."

"Where are we going?"

"We've gotta meet up with the kid. He 'reported off' this morning and we have to meet with him to make sure it's all copasetic."

"Oh."

"I don't like it either, okay. But it's what we gotta do to keep the angles off our asses. We've just gotta grit our teeth and do it." Dean explained with frustration.

I didn't answer.

Just like I didn't answer the phone the last five times he's called. Just like I didn't reply to all his texts over the last two days. I wouldn't even come to see him when he showed up at Bobby's last night… because I can't.

I can't look him in the eye either. But not for the same reasons… I can't look him in the eye because it breaks my heart every single fucking time. Because it hurts so deep within me that I feel like I've lived a hundred years. And every single one of them was spent pining for him.

But I guess none of that matters now. Like Dean said… we have no other choice.

So I spent the next three hours that we drove towards the meeting point in silence. Trying to decide what I was going to say. How I was going to say it… what its going to feel like to be so close to him. What its like being under his gaze. Green eyes that I could literally melt into.

Dammit.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Liar.

Liar.

Liar.

He's a fucking liar!

… So why do I still miss him so damn much?

"Hey Em." Sam finally spoke. Pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Yeah?" I answered not looking at him. He didn't miss that I purposely kept my eyes away from his.

"You know you have to look at us eventually right?"

"Yes." I sighed.

"Emily we're not mad at you." Dean added.

"I know." … I wish you were. It would make this easier.

"So why are you cold shouldering us kiddo? Stop shutting us out, let us help."

"Okay."

"Okay?" Sam asked.

"Whatever you want me to do I'll do." I said still staring out the window.

"I want you to be you, Em."

"I'm trying."

"I know. So uh, anyways. I was gonna ask before we got there how long it was you wanted to stay."

"I guess however long we need."

"Well. I mean. Were you wanting to spend some time with him?"

"I'm not sure that's a good idea Sam."

"If you're not comfortable with it then by no means do you have to. I kinda don't want you to… I just. Wanted to give you the option. He seems pretty desperate to talk to you."

"Yeah. I know."

"You just hang by me kiddo, we'll get this over with short and sweet okay?" Dean reassured me.

"Okay." I mumbled, swallowing back the lump of emotion that built as we pulled into the parking lot of a diner and Judson's motorcycle came into view.

We parked, thankfully it was almost dark outside and so it wasn't unreasonable for me to be shaking, as I blamed it on 'the chill'. Dean slid off his jacket and put it over my shoulders, one arm around me as he led us in the door. In the corner in the back, with no one around, I spotted him, and damn he spotted me.

He stood instantly, staring at me as we walked towards him. Never even blinking as I finally looked away to slide into the booth next to Dean. Sam and Judson slid into the booth across from us. I picked up a menu and pretended to skim through it as the boys began their small talk.

"Can we just cut to the chase?" I asked not looking up. "What did they say?"

"They were conflicted about the situation, as always. Some used it in your defense, others argued it as another reason as to why you couldn't be trusted, stating that your unpredictability was evident in your most recent choices."

"What the hell makes them so damn high and mighty, huh? What they never made a bad decision?!" Dean barked.

"The wings, it's more of an ego boost than anything in my opinion." Judson admitted.

"Great. So what happens now?" Sam asked.

"Well, I have to report off again in a week. So if you guys catch a case and need a hand holler. I'll come by, grab something to report back with, and then I'll back off."

"Back off?" Dean asked.

"I told you… I'm not trying to push my luck. I'm just trying to protect her. So if I have to keep my distance for now to do that then I will."

"We gonna order or what? I'm starved." Dean said changing the subject. Then he leaned down to me. "You hungry?"

"Not really."

"You need to eat kiddo."

"Okay." I nodded. Dean sighed.

"Don't do it just because I asked, okay? I'm missing the real you right about now."

I looked up to him for just a moment and pushed a fake smile onto my face. He smiled back. But when I looked up to Judson, a smile was the farthest thing from his face. He looked up to me under his dark lashes, and there was pain.

Pain that made me want to reach out to him. Let him hold me, let him kiss me…

But I can't. I just. I can't.

So instead I moved my hands to my lap as they twist and turn uncomfortably. And I pull my eyes away from his.

"Hi, you guys ready?" The cheery waitress asked as she sashayed over to our table. I didn't even have the energy to give her hell over trying to flirt with the men at the table. I just kept my eyes on the menu until it was my turn.

"And for you sweetheart?" She asked me.

"Grilled cheese with pickles please." I said as I folded the menu and slid it over to Dean. She finished the orders and then walked away.

"I still don't see how you can eat that." Judson said with a wrinkled nose.

"Because it's good."

"Suuuure."

"Better than those nasty ass chili fries you're always eating."

"Ouch." He mumbled holding his hand over his heart. I rolled my eyes.

The rest of our meal was quiet. The boys ate. I actually really enjoyed my grilled cheese, and the waitress was overly attentive as always. We thanked her for clearing our plates, and then sat for a minute to digest.

"I think I'm gonna hit the head before we go." Sam said standing.

"Yeah, same." Dean moved to get up, then he stopped and looked at me. "… Need me to wait?"

"No De. It's fine." I told him. "It's only for a few minutes."

He nodded before sliding out of the booth and leaving towards the bathroom behind Sam. I watched until they were out of sight, and then I looked towards the inevitable.

"I called." Judson said looking down at the table.

"I know." I mumbled.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too." I admitted.

"We don't have to ya know… we could. Put this behind us. Or try to anyways. Emily I'd do anything…"

"I just can't do that right now."

"Em, please."

"Judson. I don't know how to do this, okay? I. I don't know how to just put everything that you said and did behind us. I mean, what could you possibly say or do that would change what you've already done? What can you do to prove to me that you didn't just fuck me for your job? I mean… I gave you so much. I gave you all of me. And you took advantage of that."

"Emily I swear. And I have never changed my story. Not once. I told you from the beginning and I'm telling you now… I didn't sleep with you for my job. I made love to you because I LOVE you. Because you are beautiful, and amazing, and it makes me sick to my stomach every morning I wake up and you're still mad at me. You still hurt, because of me."

"I'm sorry." I said looking down at my hands.

"No, Em… don't be sorry. I'm sorry. This is my fault, okay. I just. I wish you could let me back in."

Before I could respond Dean and Sam appeared back at the table.

"Alright. We ready to roll?" Dean asked.

"Yeah." I said sliding out and standing.

"Em, wait." Jusdon said reaching out for me. Sam and Dean both paused and looked down at his hand on my arm.

"Em, you wanna go?" Dean asked sternly. Giving me an easy out, but also the control to say no.

"I'll meet you in the car in a minute." I mumbled.

"Emily. You don't have to listen to this." Sam sighed.

"Sam, I'm fine."

"Okay." He surrendered.

Judson waited until Sam and Dean were out the door, then without warning he pulled me against his chest. Holding me there, his hands gently rubbing against the back of my head and my lower back. Just like he always did. It happened so fast I couldn't stop him… and quite frankly I didn't want to.

I missed this.

I longed for this.

I've wanted nothing more than to be closer to him for weeks now… but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Now that' I'm here I don't want to let go.

I don't want him to leave my sight for another minute.

"I'm so sorry baby." He whispered into my ear. I let my arms slide away from my chest and around his rib cage, squeezing him to me.

"I know." I mumbled back as tears threatened their way to the surface.

"I miss you so much."

"I miss you too, but… you can't stay with us right now."

"…Okay." He said as he squeezed me tightly, then he kissed the top of my head and let me go, walking out the door.

…..

I curled up in bed that night exhausted but not able to sleep. I tossed and turned, and tossed and turned. Wishing to either find sleep, or a monster under the bed so I can kill it and be distracted.

"Kiddo." Dean mumbled as he slung his arm over me. "I'll strap you to your half of the bed if you don't stop moving."

"I'm sorry. I'll get up." I said going to move, but he pulled me back down.

"What's wrong kiddo?"

"I think it'd be easier to answer what isn't wrong Dean."

"Eh, Winchesters never do the easy thing." He joked.

"De." I sighed. "I'm sorry I fucked up."

"Em, you've gotta stop this. You've apologized at least a dozen times already. I told you that I'm not mad at you. I don't hold it against you, okay? That guy used you, had you twisted. It's not your fault."

"… It is my fault Dean. I got in the car. I didn't fight. I let that guy run my life when you were gone. All of that was my decision."

"Emily, I wasn't here for that shit, but from what I understand it wasn't like you were in your right frame of mind. So I'm not sure it can really be your fault. I think you're being too hard on yourself."

"You just say that because you like to baby me."

"Yeah. I do… but that's not why I said that."

"I guess I just need some time."

"Okay… what about the boy? What was with that goodbye scene at the diner?" I pulled my eyes away from his, crossing my arms across my chest. "You miss him."

"Maybe."

"You know you can't lie to me." He teased in the dark.

"I shouldn't miss him… I shouldn't want him back. But I do. I am fucking stupid."

"You know, we teased you after you first told us that you loved the kid. And I didn't really buy into it, until after the ground fell from under you. And then I believed it. No one hurts that bad unless there was love involved. And love doesn't just go away… It changes people. It makes things hard."

"I don't want to love him anymore."

"I don't think it works that way kiddo."

"Why not?"

"Because the heart wants what the heart wants… and as much as I want to beat the ever living shit out of him on a daily basis for hurting you the way he did. I think he loves you too. And I think he knows he messed up."

"So what I'm supposed to take him back now?"

"That's your choice. There's not a 'supposed to' for things like this. There is just you, and him, and all the bullshit that stands between you. You have to decide if you can get past it or not, and if you can't then that's okay."

"I want to." I began to cry. "But I don't know how De."

"Shhhh… It's okay." He said as he wiped the tears off my face.

"I miss him so fucking much, but I can't bring myself to just get past it all. I mean… how do I know. I mean how do I REALLY know that he even wanted to be with me? How do I know he wasn't just using me… I feel like everything we ever had was a lie."

"I don't know kiddo… I don't know. That's the part of me that still wants to beat the living shit out of him. No one makes my girl cry. Not without paying for it."

"Why can't it just be easy?"

"Because then it wouldn't be worth it in the end… c'mon. Let's get you to sleep."

…..

"Why does the PD keep sending you guys? I already said I don't want a lawyer." The guy said as he rolled his eyes before looking up to us.

"They're lining up the firing squad out there, we could help you Mr. Benson."

"I'm pleading guilty."

"All right, look, you don't want us to represent you, that's fine. In fact it's probably not a bad idea, between you and me. We just wanna understand what happened, that's all." Dean offered.

"What happened was, I killed my wife. You wanna know why? Because she made plans without asking me."

"Now when it happened, how did you feel? Disoriented, out of control?" Sam asked.

"Like something possessed you to do it maybe?" I asked immediately after.

"I knew exactly what I was doing. I was crystal clear." He sighed, tears coming to his eyes.

"Then why'd you do it?" I asked confused.

"I don't know. I loved her. We were happy."

I looked up at Dean and Sam, exchanging a frustrated glance. Dean pulled a paper form the file folder and laid on the table in front of him.

"Nine G's. That's a hefty bill." Dean nodded towards him.

"Where did you get that?"

"Doesn't matter. We have it. See, certain charges, ones you don't want the missus to know...they show up under shady names like 'M & C Entertainment'."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like dropping plastic at a nudie bar for instance."

Of course Dean would be the one to know that.

"We just wanna know the truth, Mr Benson." Sam encouraged.

"Her name was Jasmine." He finally answered.

"She was a stripper?"

"Dude, her name was Jasmine." Dean shot at him, I bit my lip to hold back a chuckle.

"I didn't mean for it to happen, I don't like to go to strip bars. My buddy was having a bachelor party, and there she was."

"Jasmine." I repeated.

"She came right up to me. And...I dunno, she was just...perfect. Everything that I wanted."

"Well you pay enough and anybody will be anything." Dean reminded him.

"It wasn't about the money. It wasn't even about the sex. It was...I dunno. I...I don't know what it was. It's hard to explain."

"And your wife found out?" I asked.

"No, she never had a clue."

"Then why'd you kill her?"

"For Jasmine. She said we would be together forever. If...if only Vicki was... Afterwards, me and Jasmine were supposed to meet and she never showed. I don't know where she lives, I don't know her last name, I don't even know her real first name! I'm an idiot."

"And you didn't think to tell this to the cops?" Sam asked.

"What for? The stripper didn't do it, I did it. And I know what I deserve. The judge doesn't give me the death sentence, I'll just do it myself."

"Mr. Benson. We're very sorry for your loss, but we believe you should seek out true justice for your wife, there is obviously some extenuating circumstances in your wife's death. You should really consider seeking counsel." I told him before we stood and left.

"Yikes." Dean groaned as we walked out of the police station.

"That poor guy is heartbroken." I sighed. "He probably would off himself right now if he had the chance."

"Yeah. He's definitely in bad shape." Sam agreed as he swung and arm over my shoulders. "How bout you?"

"I'm fine Sam." I smiled up at him.

It was odd, he and Dean had almost swapped places when it came to Judson. Dean was rational and logical. Sam however wanted to gouge his eyes out every time he looked at me. Nevertheless I love him all the same.

"Good, so where to now? I mean this is the third guy to kill his own wife."

"Strip club or hospital?" Dean asked.

"Hospital." I voted quickly. Strip clubs aren't exactly high on my list these days.

….

Sam and I entered the ME's office just as she lifted a couple of pills to her mouth and swallowed them.

"Rough night?" Sam asked her.

"Fun night. Rough morning." She countered. Sam chuckled. "Can I help you?"

"Ahhh...yes. Um, I'm Special Agent Stiles, FBI. And this is my field trainee Agent Nicks. You Doctor Cara Roberts?"

"Far as I know."

"You do some work with the Sheriff's department?" I asked.

"Yeah, when I'm not slogging it through the ER. It's a small town. We multi-task."

"Well, I have some questions about a case. About several cases actually. Do you mind if we sit?"

"Adam Benson, Jim Wylie, and Steve Snyder." Sam said as we all sat at the desk.

"Oh yeah, the men who killed their wives?"

"Yes. You handled their work-ups, right?"

"Autopsies for the wives and tox screens for the perps. Two-for-one special."

"You find anything?"

"Not really. I mean, c.o.d. on the women was pretty clear. There was nothing unusual in their systems."

"What about the husbands?" I asked.

"Can I...see your badge again?" She asked as she eyed me carefully. For some reason she seemed much more respondent to Sam.

"Sure." I smiled as I held it towards her with a smile. She looked at it closely, then at me again. I looked at her expectantly. She finally looked back towards Sam.

"There was one thing, um, an anomaly in the blood work. And I remember thinking how strange it was that it showed up in all three of the men. Oxytocin. And their levels were crazy high."

"Oxytocin?" Sam questioned.

"Mm-hmm, it's a hormone that's produced during childbirth, lactation and sex."

"Okay… that rules out two of the three." Sam blushed slightly.

"People call it the love hormone. Um, you know how it feels when you first fall in love. The whole weak in the knees, tattoo you on my chest thing? That's oxytocin." Well… at least I know what to blame it on now… thoughts of Judson flooded my brain. My stomach fluttered and my heart clenched. "Of course it eventually fades and then you're stuck with every relationship ever. That and the painful regime of tattoo removal."

"What would cause those high levels that you found?" I asked.

"Nothing that I've ever seen."

"Okay. That's it. Thanks Doc." Sam smiled as he stood and shook her hand, I moved towards the door to avoid the clearly unwanted interaction between Dr. Roberts and myself.

"By the way...try a greasy breakfast. Best thing for a hangover." Sam smiled as we exited the office.

"Watch it buddy, I'm the only M.D. here."

I waited till the door was closed to roll my eyes and make gagging noises.

"Oh shut up." Sam said as he slightly pushed me.

"She was a bitch."

"Only to you." He shrugged.

"Ha. Ha. I mean, I'm sorry I'm lacking a penis and all but I don't think I did anything to offend her?"

"Maybe you women can catch on to each other's level of bitchiness." He suggested.

"Did you just call me a bitch in the round about way?"

"C'mon. Dean's waiting."

"Mmmhhmm." I said as I pushed him back.

Once outside Dean pulled the impala up front to the door and picked us up, I slid into the front between the two of them and settled in as I reached up to turn down the radio.

"So Whylie and Snyder totally fessed up, huh?" I asked assuming Dean found the same results from the other two husbands.

"One emptied his IRA, the other, his kids' college fund, all on the same day."

"Live nude girls?" Sam asked.

"A club called 'The Honey Wagon'."

"These guys have affairs too, with a stripper also known as Jasmine?" I asked.

"Yes and no. This is where it gets interesting. Each guy hooked up with a different chick."

"So, what? These girls all connected somehow?"

"Well, they all described their stripper in the same way, the exact same way. Perfect, and everything that they wanted."

"Yeah, at least until dream Barbie convinced them to murder their wives." I reminded him.

"There's that."

"You know, it's almost like they were under some kinda love spell."

"Sure seems that way."

"Which caused them to become totally psychotic?" I questioned.

"Absolutely." Dean smiled.

"You seem pretty cheery." Sam commented.

"Strippers, Sammy. Strippers. We're on an actual case involving strippers. Finally."

"You are so retarded." I said as I rolled my eyes. "Keep it in your pants."

"Well it's not like I gotta wife to knock off, so I should be safe."

"Dean! Seriously?!"

"What?"

"He is unbelievable." I commented to Sam who only laughed in agreement.

"So we going to the club tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah. We're gonna swing by and grab a room first."

"Okay." I nodded as I pulled out my phone which had 1 new text message waiting on it.

"… The kid?" Sam asked reading over my shoulder.

"Yes nosy. It's Judson." I tried not to watch him roll his eyes as I opened the message.

Judson: Hey sweetheart. How's the case?

Emily: Just took an interesting turn… strippers.

It was only a second before it buzzed again.

Judson: Strippers?

Emily: Something is tricking husbands into murdering their wives, and strippers are all we have in common.

"Speaking of the kid." Dean coughed. "I was thinking maybe you should hangback. I uh. I know what happened with the last strip club you were in."

"What?!" I turned and asked him.

"Well… I just think that maybe you should steer clear."

"Dean, I'm fine with it! I mean I'm not thrilled about it but I'll be fine."

"Yeah but why put yourself through that?"

"You don't think I can do the job?" I questioned him offended.

"Em it's not that at all." Sam chimed in.

"Oh so you two had this discussion already?"

"Emily we just don't want you to have to deal with that shit again, okay? That's it."

"That's why we're on our way to the motel before the strip club isn't it? To drop me off?" Neither of them responded. "Well fuck you too."

I picked up my phone and read my new message.

Judson: So what's the plan?

Emily: The plan is ditch Emily at the motel because her loud mouth boyfriend told her brothers about the strip club. Don't bother responding dick.

I placed my phone back in my pocket about the same time we pulled up to the motel. Dean slid out of the driver's seat to let me out, as I exited the car he reached for me.

"Em, wait."

"What?"

"Please don't be angry… you know you have always hated these places, and after what you went through there is no point in dragging you back into one."

"Dean, if there is something going on with the girls in the club, who the hell do you think was our best shot at finding that out?"

"Ha, ya see… it sounds like you were planning on going under cover in that place."

"Maybe I was Dean! Did you see that poor guy at the prison? He murdered his own wife and it destroyed him, he wants to die because he can't live with the guilt, and I don't want that to happen to anyone else. So yeah, Dean. As much as I didn't like it I was more than prepared to go in and do what needed to be done."

"It's not that I don't love you or admire you for that, Em. Cause I do. But I'm not putting you through that, and it would have been over my dead body to let you dress like that regardless of what did or didn't happen with the kid."

"Dean. 18. Mean's that you don't always get to be the boss anymore."

"Really? You're gonna pull that out now?"

"Whatever." I said as I stomped off and into the motel, slamming the door behind me. I waited until the sound of the engine faded into the distance before reaching into my duffle for my make up bag and my hair straightener. I went to work in the bathroom putting on some heavy eye make up and overly pink lip stick, then I ran the flat iron through my hair and left out for the nearest 'adult entertainment' store. There I purchased a very bedazzled bra and a pair of black boy-short underwear that were high waisted, high enough to cover my main scar. Then I grabbed a pair of thigh high black leather boots. They were pricey but damn they looked good. Fish net stockings to top off the look and I was out the door with all the goodies in tow. I hailed a cab and asked him to stop at the building around the corner so I could change before walking down the alley towards the back entrance the girls use to come and go.

The guard at the door didn't even blink as I approached, only stepped to the side to let me in. That tells me that this club must have a high turnover rate, meaning no one will question me being the 'new girl'. I found an empty mirror in the back room where all the girls get ready and touched up my lipstick.

"Glitter." Someone said from behind me, I swung and met a beautiful blonde who was eyeing me up and down.

"I'm sorry?"

"Glitter. It's what's missing. You got the rest of the look down."

"Oh.."

"Here, let me help." She said as she reached over me towards the mirror beside mine and grabbed a spray bottle, then she began spraying my torso, arms, and partially exposed legs with some sort of spray glitter.

"There. Now you'll really sparkle." She smiled.

"Thanks… uh"

"Stella." She smiled.

"Right, Stella." I laughed catching onto the fact that it was her stage name.

"I'm Silver." I smiled.

"Silver, I like that one… much more original than Rose." She said as she eyed the red head across the room.

"So, uh. Stella. I'm new, what's the rules in this place?"

"Well. Don't poach. If a girl's working a crowd then she's laid claim to it. Now if they approach you then they're fair game. Also- the lockers on the end are shared clothes, you can borrow anything inside as long as you wash, dry, and replace it. But the others are personal and not to be borrowed."

"Oh. Okay. Umm… is there, any extra deals going on? I just moved to town and I'm flat broke, I could really use the extra cash if there's any side gigs available."

"I'm sorry… I don't understand?"

"Um. Forget I asked." I stuttered nervously. "Thank you for the glitter."

"Sure, good luck!"

"Thanks." I smiled as I moved on from her and began to wander the building. Hoping to run into Jasmine maybe. It helped that most of the girls were wearing name tags as they served drinks on the floor. Only the girls on stage at the time were lacking them. I also scanned the floor for Sam and Dean, knowing that they're here by now. But no sign yet.

I moved across the floor until I ran into someone, someone very tall, dark, and handsome.

"Hi." He smiled.

"Hi." I said then attempted to keep moving.

"Whoa, wait a second baby, how bout I buy you a drink."

"Uh, I'm recovering. Can't drink." I lied shyly.

"And you chose this place for a job as a recovering alcoholic?"

"Well. If you can't beat the temptation then have you really beat the addiction?"

"Fair point." He nodded. "How about a conversation instead?"

"Okay." I surrendered as I sat down across from him.

"You must be new, I don't recognize you."

YES, a regular!

"I'm guessing you come here often." I smiled.

"Yes."

"A man like you doesn't have a pretty woman at home?"

"A woman like you can't make money another way?"

"Ouch. Point made." I cringed.

"Sorry, just. Making the point that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover."

"Okay, Mr. Bookworm."

"The name is Eric, and you are?"

"Silver." I smiled.

"Silver, what brings you here?"

"New in town, need to make some fast cash, I used to strip and I know I can get on my feet a little quicker if I'm willing to shut up and pop on the heels for a month or two."

"Well welcome to town, I hope it's treating you well."

"It was… but."

"But?"

"Well… I was supposed to meet a girl named Jasmine here, do you know her?"

"Uh, no. I don't think there's anyone here by that name."

"Are you sure?" I asked confused.

"She told me she worked here, that's how I got the job."

"Sorry Silver. I know every girl in here by name, fake and real name." He said as he pulled out his security badge. SHIT.

"Nice. Undercover security staff, secure without drawing too much attention."

"The bosses don't like the intimidation factor of the guards being in uniform."

"So instead you wear jeans and a sport jacket."

"We blend." He countered.

"So Jasmine really doesn't work here?"

"No ma'am. I'm not sure who you spoke to."

"What about Aurora, or Ariel?"

"What is this the Disney princess club?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Jasmine, Aurora, Ariel? All Disney princesses."

Damn… how did I not see that.

"Well I was always a Pocahontas girl myself." I smiled.

"I'm not partial to any, women are beautiful, Disney makes no exception."

"So Eric, can I ask you another question…"

"Sure?"

"There was a rumor going around my apartment building that there have been some clients from this club that have murdered their wives recently, do you know much about that?"

"You sure do know a lot for being the new girl in town." He eyed me.

"Well I wasn't going to walk into a strange club without asking around about it first. Obviously my sources weren't too reliable since I didn't even get a real name."

"Well… your source was right about then men. Although I don't know what the hell happened… none of my girls were servicing them on those nights. I looked into it."

"Well. I guess that means it's safe for me to stick around."

"Sure thing… Silver."

"Emily." I winked at him while I walked away.

Great… strippers are out of the question. Now what.

"EMILY!"

I froze in my tracks. FUCK.

"Dean?" I turned and replied. He and Sam fuming, even in the dark I could see the red flush on their face.

"You are so fucking dead. CAR! Now!" Dean screamed at me over the music. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I walked towards the back room and grabbed my bag and my clothes. When I walked back out of the room Dean was standing there, holding out his jacket for me to put on.

I put it on silently and he escorted me out with a hand on my back the entire time. Sam had the car pulled up to the front entrance and Dean opened the back door for me, then he and Sam swapped places.

"Sooo…" I said in the awkward silence. "I got some information."

Neither of them responded.

"It's not one of the strippers… they're clean. Well. Not clean but… not guilty."

"It's a siren." Sam then spoke up.

"Oh." I mumbled. "Well did you catch onto the fact that all of the women have Disney princess names?"

"What?!" Dean asked in annoyance.

"All of the women the men spoke of… they were named after Disney princesses."

"How is that even relevant?"

"I don't know Dean… it's just information."

"Great. Great… so you dressed like a whore and came back with Disney princesses. Are you happy now?"

"Oh fuck you! You know what Dean if you hadn't left me out of this then I wouldn't have had to do this on my own!"

"I told you I didn't want you in that club and I meant it dammit! I didn't want you to do that, I didn't want you to lower yourself like that!"

"Why Dean?! I helped the case, so what if I had to wear some boots and a bra to do it?!"

"BECAUSE I FEEL GUILTY ENOUGH!" He screamed.

I sat in silence for a moment before answering.

"Dean, what I did when I was with Judson wasn't your fault. It wasn't your choice. It wasn't on you. It was on me."

"No, you did that to get me out of hell. You did that for me whether you want to admit it out loud or not, and it makes me sick to my stomach. So from this point forward I'm telling you… no more clubs. You promise me right here, right now. You will NOT go back to any strip club under any circumstances."

"Dea-"

"Promise. Me."

"Fine… I promise."

….

"Lenny Bristol was definitely another siren vic." Sam said as he came through the door of the motel where De and I were still in pajamas and eating cereal in front of the TV.

"You get in to see him?" I asked with a mouth full of captain crunch.

"Yep. He brought home a stripper named Belle. Coupla hours later he offed his mother. Belle, of course, went MIA."

"Another Disney princess!" I shouted.

"Wait, he killed his mom?" Dean asked.

"The woman he was closest too."

"Yikes… poor guy." I added, then Sam's phone began to ring in his pocket.

"Hey Bobby." Sam said putting it on speaker.

"Sam. You find her yet?"

"Ahhh, no. And, uh, it doesn't seem like she's slowing down any. You got anything?"

"Well, some lore from a dusty Greek poem. Shockingly, it's a little vague. It says you need "a bronze dagger, covered in the blood of a sailor, under the spell of the song."

"What the hell does that mean?" Dean asked.

"You got me. We're dealing with 3000 years of the telephone game here." Bobby answered annoyed.

"Best guess?" I asked.

"Well, the siren's spell ain't got nothing to do with any song. It's most likely some kind of toxin or venom. Something she gets in the vic's blood."

"And makes them go all Manchurian Candidate. Uh, what do you think, she infects the men during sex?" Sam asked.

"Maybe."

"Supernatural STD." I shrugged.

"Well, however it happens, once it's done the siren's gotta watch her back. She gets a dose of her own medicine..."

"It kills her." Sam finished catching on.

"Like a snake getting iced by its own venom."

"So we just gotta find a way to juice one of the OJs in jail?"

"Not that easy. None of those guys are under the spell anymore. Haven't got a clue where you're going to get the blood you need."

"I think I might have an idea." Sam then smiled.

"Be careful. These things are tricky bitches. Wrap you up in knots before you know what hit ya. Emily you keep these boys on their toes."

"Yes sir Uncle Bobby!" I smiled as I patted Dean's head, he shot me a clever bitch face in return.

…..

As we entered the hospital I knew that Sam was more than willing to visit with the doc lady again… and I hated the idea of it. I mean really? What the hell did I do to her?

"Dr. Roberts." Sam smiled as we entered. Dean in tow this time.

"Agent Stiles. Can't stay away, huh?"

"Actually, uh, we're here on business. About the blood samples. The ones with the high...you know...oxytocin?" I cut her off.

"You still have them?" Sam asked as she sent me an unamused look.

"Mm-hmm."

"Good, we need them."

"What for?"

Just as Sam was fixing to answer a man came in and interrupted.

"Excuse me, Dr. Roberts?" He called out.

"Yeah?"

"Excuse me, uh, we're a little busy here, buddy." Dean said flashing his FBI badge.

"Yeah, so am I, pal." The man responded as he too lifted up an FBI badge…. OH SHIT.

"Doc, can you give us a sec, please?" Sam asked calmly, she smiled as she backed away.

"What's your name?" Dean asked him.

"Nick Munroe. What's yours?"

"I'm Special Agent Sam Stiles, this is my partner Dean Murdoch. What office are you from?" Sam answered.

"Omaha, Violent Crimes Unit. My SAC sent me down here to see about the murders. Who's the girl?"

"Agent Nicks, well… agent in training for the time being. I'm on parole for ruining my last case." I answered shyly.

"What office are you guys from?"

"D.C. Our Assistant Director assigned us."

"Oh, which AD?"

"Mike Kaiser." Sam smiled.

"What are your badge numbers?"

"You're kidding, right?" Dean responded.

"I'm just following protocol."

"Look man, whatever. Just call our AD, he'll sort things out." Sam said sliding him a card. He quickly dialed the number on the card, who would call straight to Bobby's FBI line.

"Yeah, Assistant Director Kaiser, please…. Yes, sir. Hello. It's Agent Nick Munroe. I'm calling about two of your men. Stiles and Murdoch? Uh, it seems that they and their trainee have been put on my case by mistake?" There was a pause and then a shift in his posture. "No, no, no, sir. I'm not questioning... Ahhh, no sir."

The man set the phone down and turned to face us.

"I'm sorry, guys." He kindly nodded as he handed us back the card.

"Just don't let it happen again." Dean smiled.

"Where are you at with this?"

"Where are you at with this?"

"Well, I was just about to run the, uh, perps' bloodwork."

"I already checked, dead end." I smiled.

"Oh yeah? And do your partners agree? No offense… but you did just say you blew your last case."

"Yeah. We agree." Sam backed me up.

"But get this. I feel like I found something that, uh, connects all the murderers."

"Really?"

"They were all banging strippers...from the same club."

"You don't say!" Dean said faking his shock.

"What do you say we, uh, go down there and check it out?"

"Well, here's the thing, Nick. See, we're kinda lone wolves..." Dean started, but was cut off by Sam.

"You know what, that sounds like an excellent idea. Just... just give me a second with my partner and we'll, uh...one sec." Sam then turned to face Dean and I with his back to Munroe. "Dude, you gotta stay with him."

"What? Why? Let's just get rid of him." I asked.

"Keep him outta the way."

"Why me?" Dean whined.

"Cause I gotta get the blood samples, and we agreed Emily wasn't going back to the club."

"What the hell am I supposed to do with him?"

"Just take him to the strip club...keep an eye out for the siren. Come on, Dean, just... just focus on the naked girls. You'll forget he's even there!"

"I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing it for the girls." Dean caved as he walked away.

"Alright, let's go get blood." Sam nodded.

"Scratch that… You go get blood. The lady doesn't like me Sam. We're more willing to get somewhere if you go in alone. She likes you."

"Well what are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna double back to the motel. Try and dig into the files and see what we're missing here."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay… get a cab. Don't walk. And Let me know when you get there."

"Okay, be careful."

"You too."

I hailed a cab outside of the hospital and had them take me back to the room, but when I opened the door I nearly shit myself pulling my gun.

"FUCK!... Don't scare me like that!" I yelled as I found Judson sitting on the bed waiting.

"Sorry." He said as he stood.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I just… came to see if you needed any help."

"No. You've done enough." I said as I pushed past him.

"Emily… please. I told Dean that stuff when he first came back. I didn't know it was going to end up cock blocking you on a case, and I didn't really MEAN to tell him. I just got carried away in the argument."

"… You argued with Dean over me?"

"Well. If you count standing around yelling at each other as arguing then yes."

"Bet that didn't get you very far."

"No. But it made my point."

"What else does Dean know…"

"Everything. Dean knows everything that happened while he was gone."

"Great." I sighed. That's what he meant by feeling guilty enough as it is.

"I'm sorry babe. I thought you knew that already. Or I would have given you the heads up."

"Don't call me that." I pouted as I sat down at the table in front of the case files, flipping through the papers.

"Okay." He nodded as he sat down across from me. "You're sleeping better."

"What?"

"Your eyes… they're not as dark. Which means you're sleeping better."

"I guess." I shrugged.

"It's good."

"… This is awkward." I sighed as I put my face down in my hands.

"It doesn't have to be."

"Well what is it supposed to be Judson?!"

"It's supposed to just be me and you… together." He said as he came over and sat directly beside me, reaching out to put his hand on my knee. I didn't have the strength to push it away.

"It's not the same." I whispered.

"It could be baby."

"… I miss you."

"Then let me come home to you. Let me stay."

"How am I ever supposed to trust you again? How am I supposed to believe anything we had was real?"

"Because you can't fake something like that Em, I can't pretend to fall apart when you touch me, or pretend to love the way your body feels underneath mine. That was all real… for both of us."

I shook my head and stared down at my hands, then before I could stop him his lips were on mine, his hands holding my face. Not that I would have to the ability to pull myself away even if he wasn't… I was the one that melted under his touch. Became compliant in any way shape or form when he was beside me, his body against mine.

In a move of stupidity and quite frankly overrun by hormones I pulled his shirt off and let him pick me up, carrying me over to the bed, where I laid beneath him willingly as he ripped off my clothes. His mouth covering my neck, my breasts… then my stomach.

But in a moment of clarity and fear I awoke from the place of pleasure.

"WAIT!" I said sitting up and pushing him away.

"What? What's wrong?" He asked, his eyes held more concern than I had ever see them hold before. As if he was scared he was hurting me.

"I don't know if I can do this…" I said as I took in short breaths.

"Okay." He nodded, then pulled me against his bare chest. Skin on skin… it was a healing sensation. To just lay beside him, the stiff sheets of the motel bed pulled over us. No words. No noise. Just the purity of how it felt to be with him again.

Until the silence became to much.

"I don't know how to be us again." I admitted against his neck.

"We'll figure out."

"What if we can't? What if it's never like it was… what if I can't be with you anymore?"

"Do you want to be with me?" He asked as he lowered his face to lay nose to nose.

"I miss you… I don't want to be with anyone else."

"Why is it so hard for you to just say yes?"

"Because… yes holds a lot of commitment. And trust. And I don't know that I can trust you again."

"That's okay… I understand."

"How are you just okay with that?" I asked annoyed at his kindness. I kind of missed jackass Judson.

"Because I know I fucked up."

"Well I'm sick of you just being nice all the time!" I lashed out. "It's not you! It's not us…"

"Well what do you want me to do? Come in here, strip you naked, and then pick a fight?"

"Yes!" I said irritated. "No… I don't fucking know okay!"

"Well how the hell am I supposed to give you what you want when you don't even know what you want?!" He asked back clearly offended.

"You just are."

"Well I don't read fucking minds Em, I don't know how to make you believe me okay? I don't know how to force you to trust me again! I'm not in your head."

"Well you used to be!" I said feeling myself get emotional. "You knew EXACTLY what to say to get to me… to make me open up to you. Make me talk to you. You played me like a fucking violin, Judson…"

"Em. I can't apologize for knowing you that well… okay. Look when I was assigned to y-"

"Can you please stop saying shit like that! God… it makes me sick!" I said as I began to put on my clothes again. "I feel like some kind of fucking homework assignment!"

"But you're not! Dammit… Em. I don't know how to fix this okay?! I don't! I studied you, and learned about you… I've been watching you since the day Sam died. I can't apologize for that. Because I wouldn't take any of it back… Getting to know you. Has been the best experience I've ever had."

"Oh shut up!"

"No! I watched you grieve…first over Sam. The way you cried over his body for hours, how the entire world stopped for you; then over learning of Dean's deal. The way it destroyed you, the way it shook the foundation of your life. I watched you discover your abilities piece by piece and learn to control them. I watched how determined, and passionate, and fucking stubborn you can be on a case. How you truly love the idea of helping people, and it means something to you… the way it hurts you to lose someone on a case. Em. I see you. All of you… and I can't imagine anyone else on the planet that is more capable of beating this… this thing inside of you. The angels may not have faith in you, but they don't know you."

"It's too much." I whispered.

"Maybe it is… but not for you."

Just then Dean busted through the door. Taking in a half dressed Judson, and mostly dressed me.

"What the fuck is this?" He asked as he came through the door.

"Dean. Please…"

"No, what the fuck is he doing here alone with you? And where the hell are the rest of his clothes!"

"He just came to talk, Dean. Okay… Just. He's leaving okay!"

"Talk? Does he have to take his clothes off to talk?"

"Are you going to keep talking about me like I'm not here?" Judson asked.

"JUST GO!" Dean and I both shouted at him at the same time. He rolled his eyes and grabbed his shirt, walking out the open door, Dean slammed it behind him.

"What the hell kiddo?! Did I seriously just walk in on this?"

"Dean. We weren't having sex, we didn't just finish having sex, and we weren't about to have sex… what you walked in on was an argument. Okay?"

"I still don't understand why his clothes have to be off for you to argue."

"DEAN! Drop it…"

"Whatever. We gotta call Sam."

"Why what's up?"

"Because, Agent Munroe got something we missed."

"Is it the Disney Princesses?!"

"What?! No… will you get off that already!"

"Well then what?"

"There were flowers left at each crime scene."

"Flowers?"

"These flowers to be exact." Dean said as he held up one in a baggy. It took me a moment to realize where I recognized them from… Dr. Robert's office.

"Oh my god… Sam."

Dean was already ahead of me dialing Sam's number on speaker.

"Sam! Where the hell have you been? I've called you like ten times."

"With Cara."

"Oh, it's Cara now? And you're not picking up your phone?"

"We were trying to find the blood samples – someone stole 'em."

"Yeah, I bet!" I scoffed.

"What's that supposed to mean? Wait…when did you get with Em?"

"Just now but hey listen, Nick found flower petals at the crime scenes. Hyacinths." Dean explained.

"So?"

"Hyacinths? Mediterranean. From the island where the whole friggin' siren myth started in the first place."

"Ok?"

"Sam, Cara had hyacinth flowers!" I yelled at him.

"You think Cara's the siren?"

"Well, I did a little checking up on her. She's only been in town for two months." Dean responded.

"Yeah. And?"

"And she has an ex-husband. A dead ex-husband, Carl Roberts. Dropped like a stone, no warning. Supposedly a heart attack."

"Well, maybe it was a heart attack."

"You're kidding me… Did you have sex with her?!" I questioned him.

"What! No… Look, I just don't think it's her."

"And what makes you so sure?" Dean asked.

"I dunno, a hunch."

"A hunch? I'm giving you cold hard facts here and you're giving me a hunch?... Did you sleep with her?"

"No." Sam argued.

"Holy crap. You did. Middle of Basic Instinct and you bang Sharon Stone? Sam, you could be under her spell right now!"

"I told you he fucked her." I said crossing my arms.

"Dude, I'm not under her spell."

"Unbelievable, man. I just don't get it."

"What?"

"Nothing." Dean said shaking his head.

"No. Say it."

"No, It's just...first it's Madison, and then Ruby, and now Cara. It's like... what is with you and banging monsters?"

"Dean, I'm telling you, it's not Cara. I feel fine."

"I'll bet you do."

"You don't trust me?"

Uh oh.

"No. Because this could be the siren talking."

"Look, tell me where you are, I'll come meet you and we'll figure things out."

"No."

"Are you serious?"

"I wish I weren't. I gotta handle this, Sam. By myself."

Dean hung up the phone and stormed out the door.

"De! Wait… I'm coming with you."

"No. You're not."

"What?! What did I do! I didn't fuck the siren."

"I can't trust you either! I walk in and you're fixing to bang the angel bitch!"

"Dean! That's not true and you know it!"

"I don't want to hear it, I'll just do this shit myself."

Dean slammed the door to baby as he jumped in and peeled out. Taking off.

"Fucking asshole." I mumbled as I dialed Sam.

"Hey, what the hell?" He answered.

"I don't know! He ditched me too… I'm on my way to you."

"Okay. I'll meet you here."

As I hailed a taxi for a ride I sent a quick message to Bobby.

E: Shit's hitting the fan, I know you said you were close by. I think we need the extra hands.

And then one more.

E: Jud- don't go far. If you don't hear form me in three hours, come looking.

J: Em, why don't I just come now.

E: Deans pissed. Emergency only.

J: Please don't do anything stupid.

Well he doesn't know me well at all.

….

"Hey." Sam said as I walked into the hospital lobby and met him.

"So." I said cautiously. "You don't have any urge to off me right now do you?"

"Seriously?" He said giving me the bitchface.

"Look you're the one who banged the possible siren!"

"Emily, I'm me okay. I'm not going to try and off you, I'm not under some spell. I'm clear and level headed."

"Unlike someone else I know." I groaned.

"Yeah. No kidding. What the hell was his problem?"

"Well… he kinda walked in on Judson and I." I admitted.

"Judson?!" Sam asked angrily. "What the hell was he doing here?"

"He came by to help."

"So what exactly did Dean walk in on?"

"An argument he thought was the end of a sexcapade."

"Fuck Em… why would you even be alone with him right now?!"

"Sam! Please don't."

"Fine. Later, cause this isn't over."

"Fine… So what about Dean."

"I don't know. He went to the strip club with the FBI guy…"

"And then he came busting into the apartment spewing about the flowers."

"You don't think maybe somebody at the strip club got ahold of him do you?" Sam asked cautiously.

"Well. I mean. He didn't attack me… he seemed a little out of his mind but he wasn't out to murder anyone but the siren."

"I don't know. Somethings off."

"Well where can we find him?"

"I don't know. Lets go back to the motel so I can get changed and then we'll see if maybe he pops back up, do you know if we can get ahold of the FBI agent."

"I don't know. Bobby would have his number maybe? Since he called him."

"Good idea. I'll call Bobby on the way."

As we pulled up in the motel an odd site caught my attention.

"Sam. He's here?" I said as I pointed out the impala.

"What? Why wouldn't he just answer the phone then."

"I don't know… I got a funny feeling about this."

"Okay. Listen. I'm going in. He doesn't know we're together, and if he is under some kind of spell you can't go anywhere near him. So stay here, get something to kill this bitch out of the trunk, and wait for me signal."

"What signal."

"Either I'll yell or you'll hear me getting my ass kicked. Figure it out."

"Thanks." I said shooting him bitch face as he approached the door.

I waited until he walked in and then slid to the window to watch.

"Nick. What are you doing here?" Sam said as the door shut behind him and I barely caught the sight of Agent Munroe on the bed. But suddenly Dean jumps Sam and holds him with a knife to his throat.

SHIT SHIT SHIT.

"Dean!" Sam grumbled. Then he looked up to Munroe. "I gotta tell you. You're one fugly ass stripper."

"Well, maybe. But I got exactly what I wanted. I got Dean."

WHAT? He's the siren?! … How does he tie into Disney Princesses?

"Dean, come on man, this isn't you. You can fight this. Let me go." Sam tried to talk him into it.

"Why don't you cut him? Just a little, on his neck right there." Munroe sweet talked. Dean quickly obliged, and my body began to tingle. My senses all on edge. I don't know how much longer I can wait, but I don't want to blow my position just yet. "Dean's all mine."

"You poisoned him."

"No. I gave him what he needed. And it wasn't some bitch in a G-string. It was you. A little brother that looked up to him, that he could trust. And now he loves me. He'd do anything for me. And I gotta tell you, Sam, that kind of devotion? I mean, watching someone kill for you? It's the best feeling in the world."

"Is that why you're slutting all over town?"

"Ahh. I get bored, like we all do. And I wanna fall in love again. And again...and again."

"I'll tell you what. I have fought some nasty sons of bitches, but you are one needy pathetic loser."

"You won't feel that way in a minute." Munroe said as he stood and leaked toxins down Sam's lips and chin. FUCK. Should gone in…

"So I know you two have a lot you wanna get off your chests. So why don't you discuss it? And whoever survives can be with me forever."

Oh HELL no. I stood prepared to kick in the door when Dean's voice caught my attention.

"Well, I don't know when it happened. Maybe when I was in hell. Maybe when I was staring right at you. But the Sam I knew, he's gone."

"That so?" Sam laughed.

"And it's not the demon blood or the psychic crap. It's the little stuff. The lies. The secrets. The way you treated Em."

"Oh, yeah? What secrets? And I may have hurt her physically but its nothing compared to the emotional damage you did to her."

"The phone calls to Ruby for one."

"So I need your say-so to make a phone call?"

RUBY?!

Oh that's fucking it! I kicked in the door with my gun raised straight at Munroe. My fingers and toes tingling as I fought to hold back my abilities.

"Sorry to crash your party, but you can't either of my brothers."

"Oh sweetheart. You just don't know." Munroe laughed. "Boys… kill her."

I looked between Sam and Dean, who both stared at me intently as they approached me on either side.

"Dean… Sam. Don't do this." I said backing myself up to the wall so no one could get behind me.

"You stupid little bitch." Sam mumbled. "Always standing in my way."

"Always whoring around with the boy." Dean added.

"You don't mean that… neither of you." I told them. "SNAP OUT OF IT FUCKERS!"

They both lunged for me at the same time, causing me to drop my gun and raise a hand to each of them. They stopped in their tracks and their feet lifted off the ground as red haze flowed around them.

"Whoa! Look at you!" Munroe cheered. "That. Is just… amazing. What are you?"

"I'm not playing this game with you." I growled at him. "Let them out of the spell!"

"Hmmm. No. I don't think I will. I'd rather watch you kill them and then keep you for myself." He said as he walked up and picked up my gun, holding it to my forehead.

"Kill them." He told me.

"Never." I said before spitting in his face. I gave a sideways glance to my brothers, who had began to struggle for air… I have to drop them soon.

"Oh you little bitch." Munroe said as he wiped his face.

"Nothing little about it fuckface." I said as I dropped both of my brothers and knocked the gun out of his hands. They fell to the ground, and spent a moment catching their breath, Munroe lurched for the gun on the ground, and somehow managed to grab it before I could kick it.

Dean and Sam were inches away from me so I threw my hands up again, but just as I did I could hear the sound of a gun go off. Everything felt still. The room around me silent. But coming towards me was a bullet. I stared at it as it moved closer and closer to my face, and then I closed my eyes, and everything became real again as the wind blew on my face… but the bullet was nothing more than dust.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. Did I just do?

"What the hell?" Munroe said as he stood. He looked at the gun in his hands and dropped it, yelling and charging me, knocking me into the wall and causing me to drop Sam and Dean to the ground again.

The siren and I fought momentarily, before someone grabbed me off of him and wound their arm around my neck in a choke hold. Dean. I'd recognize that arm anywhere. Then in front of me stood Sam with an axe…

My vision blurred. But I fought through it in my last burst of energy and threw Dean backawards, pinning him to the wall, then I pulled a knife from my boot and stabbed Sam in the shoulder as he swung and I dodged the axe. I lunged before Munroe could realize what was coming and tackled him, thrusting the knife straight into his heart.

He died within seconds, and I fell over backwards to catch my breath.

Sam and Dean quickly came to, and before I knew it Dean was hovering over me.

"Hey… you in there Kiddo?"

"Uh huh." I nodded still trying to catch my breath. Dean pulled me to sit up and rubbed a hand over my back as I fought to fully refill my lungs.

"Em." Sam called out. "Did you stab me?"

"Uh huh." I said before falling back to the ground.

"Well." Bobby's voice cut through the air. "Looks like I was late to the party."

"Bobby." I sighed. "Next time drive faster."

"Sorry Darlin." He smiled as he helped Dean pull me to stand. "What the hell happened to you?"

"He choked me." I said pointing to Dean. "Because this bastard was trying to get them to kill me." I said then pointing at the dead siren.

"Well. I think you boys owe your sister one hell of an apology."

"She stabbed me." Sam scoffed.

"Yeah to kill the siren!" I argued. "You were gonna decapitate me with a fucking axe!"

"She's got you there." Dean nodded.

"Whatever."

…

We leaned against Baby as Bobby passed out beer… and root beer. I put my phone back in my pocket after assuring Judson that everyone survived without more than a scratch… or stab wound.

"Thanks." Sam nodded.

"Soda?" Dean asked as he got a root beer as well.

"You're are driving, aren't ya?" Bobby asked him. Dean rolled his eyes and caved.

"Thanks for coming uncle Bobby. We appreciate the help." I said as he handed me mine.

"Well, I wasn't much help. Sounds like you had it under control."

"Eh, I wouldn't go that far. Just got lucky I think…. But there was one thing."

"What?" Dean asked.

"Um… I. Uh? Turned a bullet into… dust? I don't know."

"What?" Bobby asked. "You mean like you crushed one?"

"I mean that the siren got my gun, and fired it, and it was like everything was still for a moment. And I could see the bullet moving, and right before it got to me I closed my eyes, and then there was just a gust of air that blew on my face… and when I opened my eyes there were just shiny dust particles falling around my face."

"Are you sure?" Bobby asked carefully.

"I had both my hands full trying to hold off these idiots, and he fired the gun. I heard it, I saw it… I don't know what happened."

"You're abilities are advancing." Sam said grimly. "That's gotta be it."

"Have you told this to Judson?" Dean asked.

"Not yet. Think I should?"

"I don't know that you have a choice darlin." Bobby admitted.

"I'll do it later."

"Well. I gotta hit the road. You three gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, we're good." Sam smiled.

We watched and sipped as he drove away.

"You gunna say goodbye to Cara?" Dean asked.

"Nah, not interested."

"Really? Why not?"

"What's the point?"

"Well, look at you. Love 'em and leave 'em." I mocked.

"Hey Em… you know we didn't mean any of that stuff back there. At least. I know I didn't, Dean. It was just the spell.

"Of course, me too Em."

"I know… are we all good? I mean. You two?"

"Yeah. We're all good." Dean nodded.

"Okay. Can we get the hell out of this place?" I asked.

"Sure. Where we going?" Dean asked as we all slid into the impala.

"Anywhere but here."


	80. Chapter 80

Author's note: Hey lovelies! I am so excited because today I sat down and wrote pretty much this entire chapter… it has been weeks since I've had the ability to do that. Life has distracted me so much, getting through heartbreak, and stressful times… even when I had time to write, I would sit down at the computer and just feel exhausted. Unmotivated. And today I finally felt excited to dig back into Emily's story again! So I hope you all love this chapter as much as I do, and I hope it won't be a month before my next update! I love you all, and I miss you all so dearly, please read and REVIEW! I miss you guys so much. Love you all! AKF.

"No, no, no, you're right, it's definitely weird. ...Okay, Bobby, thanks." Sam nodded as he hung up the phone. Dean walked back towards us and slides into the booth.

"What's up with Bobby?" He asked as I sipped at my drink.

"He found something in Wyoming."

"A job?" I asked.

"Maybe. Small town, no one's died in the past week and a half."

"That so unusual?" I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, it's how they're not dying. One guy with terminal cancer strolls right out of hospice. Another guy gets capped by a mugger and walks away without a scratch."

"Capped in the ass?" Dean asked.

"Police say Mr. Jenkins was shot in the heart at point-blank range by a nine-millimeter."

"Okay… I'll give you that one. Definitely our kinda thing." I then nodded.

"And he's not a doughnut?" Dean asked with a mouth full of smashed burger.

"Locals are saying it's a miracle."

"It's got to be something nasty, right? I mean, people making deals or something." I suggested.

"You think?" Dean turned to me.

"What else would it be?"

"I don't know."

"All right. Get that to go." Sam said as he shut his laptop and packed away his things.

"Yeah yeah…" Dean groaned. "Hey, did you talk to the kid?"

"Briefly." I sighed. "He said the last report was kind of iffy. They angles agree that my abilities are probably advancing, which didn't look good for me. He said something about Lucifer's blood protecting me even when I can't protect myself? I don't know… I don't buy that for a second. Way too many close calls."

"Yeah. Tell me about it." Dean said staring at me.

"Think we need him on this one?"

"NO." Sam quickly answered.

"… Okay." I surrendered without hesitation.

"Sam." Dean sighed. "Take it easy will ya?"

Sam looked down at me with a guilty expression.

"Sorry Em. I didn't mean to snap."

"It's okay… Probably wasn't a good idea anyways." I smiled at him as I slid out of the booth and walked towards the door.

…..

"Now, you three said you were bloggers?" Jim asked. The same Jim who was shot in the chest three days ago. Here we sat across from he and his wife at their dining room table, and damn… for someone who just got shot, he looks great.

"Yes, sir. Floored by the Lord dot com." I said with an over exaggerated southern accent to sell the innocence.

"All of God's glory fit to blog." Dean smiled. Sam cleared his throat to get Jim's attention.

"Um. Some of the people around town are saying what happened to you was a miracle." He then asked.

"It was. Plain as day." Jim smiled.

"How can you be so sure?"

"How else do you explain it? The doctors can't. There's a bullet in my heart, and it's pumping like a piston."

"Well, how do you explain it?" I asked him. Honestly intrigued by this case. Him hesitated, and he looked over at his daughter thoughtfully.

"Look, honestly. I was nobody's saint—not exactly father of the year, either. But when that guy shot me and I didn't bleed a drop? I just knew the Lord was giving me a second chance."

"Why are you so sure it was God?" Dean asked.

"I had this feeling—like angels were watching over me."

I looked down to my feet uncomfortably… never in my life did I think angels of all things would be what turned my stomach with just a name. Would be the thing I dreaded most. I would take demons, monsters, pissed off spirits… hell. I'd take anything over an angel these days.

Dean instantly noticed my discomfort and bumped my knee with his under the table, I looked up to him and nodded, sending him a message I was okay and to keep going.

"I wouldn't expect you guys to understand." Jim mumbled after our silence.

"Well, we'll just have to try." I smiled to him.

"You wouldn't have happened to have swung by a crossroads in the past week or so?" Sam asked.

"No." Jim shrugged.

"Maybe you met someone? With black eyes? Or red?"

"Who'd you guys say you were again?" Jim asked as he leaned forward.

"Never mind. Thank you for your time." Dean cut in and stood, Sam and I following him out the door, leaving a card with Jim incase he forgot to mention anything.

"Well." Sam sighed as we walked towards Baby. "I'm not buying it."

"Yeah. Angels aren't nice enough to give people second chances." I added.

"Em, if angels are anywhere near this then we'll bail. Point blank." Dean turned and told me sternly.

"Its okay De… I really don't think they're involved at all. No way they're that nice to people just because."

"Yeah, you're probably right. So what do we think it is then?"

"I have no idea. Doesn't sound like demon deals either." I shook my head.

"Yeah. I'm stuck on this one… we need more information." Sam agreed.

"Wanna check out the other vic's?"

"Yeah."

…...

"Hey." Sam said coming through the door of our motel room, closing it behind him with is foot.

"Anything?" I asked as I pulled my ear buds out and looked up at him from the bed, Dean put down the articles he was reading and turned towards Sam.

"That cancer survivor? He was clinically dead, his wife pulled the plug, and now he's taking her out for their twentieth anniversary."

"Any sign of a deal?"

"No. What about you? Found anyone dying around here?" He asked Dean.

"Not since Cole Griffith. He dropped ten days ago. It was the last death I could find."

"So, what are you thinking?"

"Eh, maybe it is what the people say it is. Somebody around here performing miracles?"

"Miracles? Dean, our experience, when do miracles just happen?"

"Well, there's no deals. There's, uh, no skeevy faith healers. I mean, these souls just ain't getting dragged into the light."

"Maybe 'cause there's no one around to carry them." I suggested. Sam and Dean both turned to look at me intensely.

"What do you mean?"

"When you said faith healer it made me think… Well, grim reapers—that's what they do, right? Schlep souls? So, if death ain't in town—"

"Then nobody's dying. So what? The local reaper's on strike? Playing the back nine? Sam?"

"I don't know. But let's talk to somebody who might. The kid."

"The kid? The kid's a doornail."

"Exactly. Look, if he was the last person to die around here, then maybe he's seen something. We should talk to him."

"I love how matter-of-fact you are about that. Strange lives." I sighed and surrendered back to my music.

….

"You sure this is gonna work?" I asked sitting on the headstone as the boys set things up.

"No. But if his spirit's around, this should smoke him out."

"This job is a weird one…" I shook my head.

"How so?" Sam asked as he poured something into the bowl.

"You want me to gank a monster or torch a corpse, hey, let's light it up, right? But this? If we fix whatever this is, people are gonna start dropping dead. Good people." I answered hesitantly.

"Look, I don't want them to die, either, Em, but there's a natural order."

"You're kidding, right?" Dean chuckled.

"What?"

"You don't see the irony in that? I mean, you and me and Em, we're like the poster children of the unnatural order. All we do is ditch death."

"Yeah, but the normal rules don't really apply to us, do they?"

"We're no different than anybody else."

"Dean. I'm infected with demon blood. Emily is infected with the devil's blood. You've been to hell." Sam spoke with his classic bitch face. "Look, I know you want to think of yourself as Joe the Plumber, Dean, but you're not. None of us are. The sooner you accept that, the better off you're gonna be."

"Ah, Joe the Plumber was a douche." He shrugged.

"You gonna help me finish this now? Obviously she's too good to get her hands dirty."

"Ehh, I'm keeping watch." I said picking at my nails.

"HEY!" A man yelled, causing us all to turn and face the groundskeeper.

"Nice job watching." Sam shot at me.

"What are you doing here?" The man asked.

"Uh. Just take it easy." Sam said as he raised his hands up.

"What the hell is this?"

"Okay, this—this—this is not what it looks like." Dean laughed.

"Really? 'Cause it looks like devil worship."

"What? No! No, this is not devil worship. This—This is—this—this is, uh— my senior project for my philosophy class!" I quickly lied.

"But… We're all done so. We're leaving." Sam nodded.

"You're not going anywhere." The man then said, something about his words sent chills down my spine. "Ever again. Sam."

Oh my god…

His eyes turned white as he looked over to Dean.

"Alastair." Dean whispered. His eyes turned back to the human form he was possessing. I felt it, burn within me… preparing to protect myself and my brothers. I wasn't fixing to let him touch them again.

"I thought you got deep fried, extra-crispy." Dean asked.

"Nah. Just the pediatrician I was riding. His wife's still looking for him. It's hilarious. Anyway. No time to chat. Got a hot date with death."

"WAIT!" I screamed but it was too late, he flung the boys into the air, letting them crash into headstones. I turned to face him, unsure as to why I still stood in my place.

"You're stronger, Emily. You've been practicing. Oh what I would do with you and a little time alone."

I went to raise my hand as the red haze began to appear, but Alastair fled the man's body and disappeared.

"FUCK!" I yelled, rushing over to Sam.

"Sam… Sam. Are you okay?" I asked as I held my sleeve against his bleeding head.

"I'm Fine. Dean?"

"He's okay. He's behind us." I said looking over to Dean, who seemed shaken, but unharmed.

Something about Alastair always shakes him up. I would give anything to rip that bastard to pieces for whatever the hell it was he did to my brother. To the rock that has always held my life together.

I'm going to kill him, if it's the last thing I do.

…..

"Here, put this on your head." I said as I handed Sam and ice pack, his wound had been cleaned and closed, and he was laying on one bed, Dean on the other behind me. I turned to look at him.

"How you doing?"

"I'm in pain, that's how I'm doing. I think I have a concussion."

"You want some aspirin?"

"No thanks, House. So, demons, huh?"

"Yeah. So much for miracles." I sighed.

"And what the hell happened with Alastair again?"

"I told you, he tried to fling me or whatever. And it didn't work, then he bailed before I had the chance to take him down…"

"Well, how come he couldn't fling you? He chucked you pretty good last time."

"He said I was stronger... I don't know why though. I guess the thing with the bullet?"

"That's not all he said." Sam said shooting me a look.

"Well I'm never going to be alone with him so I don't think we have to worry."

"So what now?" Dean asked. "Go back and Q and A the kid?"

"Don't have to. Bobby called. He did some digging." Sam answered.

"And?" I asked.

"He thinks you're right. Local reaper's gone. Not just gone—kidnapped."

"By demons? Why?"

"Listen to this." Sam stood and walked over to the table to grab his notebook. "…And he bloodied death under the newborn sky—sweet to taste, but bitter when once devoured."

"Swanky. What the hell's that mean?" Dean replied sarcastically.

"Well, it's from a very obscure, very arcane version of Revelations."

"Which means what I think it means?"

"Basically, you kill a reaper under the solstice moon—tomorrow night, by the way—you got yourself a broken seal."

"Fuck me…" I said burying my head in my hands.

"How do you ice a reaper? You can't kill death." Dean emphasized.

"I don't know. Maybe demons can. Where the hell are the angels is what I want to know. We could use their help for once."

"No way." Dean instantly said. "We'll do this shit ourselves. Angles roll in and we roll out."

"What about Judson?"

"I don't like it." Sam instantly looked up to me. "But… maybe he knows something we don't."

"What are we doing in the meantime? Try and find the bastard?"

"Dean, reapers are invisible. The only people that can see them are the dead and the dying."

"Well, if ghosts are the only ones that can see them..."

"Then we become ghosts." I finished for him. He smirked at me.

"You do have a concussion." Sam shot at him.

"Sounds crazy, I know."

"Doesn't just sound crazy. It is crazy."

"How?"

"You two call Pamela… I'm gonna call Judson. See what I can find out." I said walking towards the door.

"Em. Don't go outside. Please." Dean asked quietly. "I can't have you out of sight with Alastair around."

"Okay. I'll go to the bathroom." I caved as I refilled the salt line.

"Thank you." He said as I walked by and ruffled his hair gently. Then I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

Pulling up his name in the phonebook and hitting the little green button.

"Em?" He answered almost immediately.

"Hi." I whispered. Don't know why I'm whispering.

"You okay."

"Yeah, yeah. Uh… I need to ask you about the case we're working."

"Okay, what's up?"

"Alastair is here… and I think he's trying to break a seal."

"Where are you? I can be there in no time."

"No. Just… stop. I'm okay. Don't come here."

"Emily, Alastair is no joke. You know what he's capable of."

"Apparently killing death."

"What?!"

"Reapers. We think he's trying to kill a reaper to break a seal… Look. I just called to see if you or the dicks with wings were up to date? Working on a plan to stop this?"

"No. I don't think they're aware, but they will be now."

"Great." I groaned.

"I'll do my best to give you a heads up if I hear they're headed into town. But I wouldn't anticipate bumping into them. I've made it clear you three would prefer your distance."

"Thanks I guess."

"Yeah, of course. You know I'd do anything for you."

"… Jud."

"Em, baby please. Let me come… I can't stand the thought of you being around that monster."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"I miss you."

I miss you too… but I can't say that or he'll be here before I can blink.

"I know." I whispered.

"Em. Please. Call me if you change your mind… I'll be close."

"Okay."

"I love you."

Every part of me wanted to say it back… wanted him to rush to me. But I can't. I just can't. So instead I hung up the phone.

…

"I can't even begin to tell you how crazy you three are." Pamela said as the door opened and she walked in.

"Well, Pamela, you're a sight for sore eyes." Sam smiles as he closes the door behind her.

"Aw, that's sweet, grumpy." She said pulling back her sunglasses to reveal her white eyes. "What do you say to deaf people?"

I tried to hold back my laughter but snorted. Fucking Pamela. Love her!

"Which one of you brainiacs came up with astral projection?"

"Yo." Dean said raising his hand.

"She can't see your hand dumbass." I told him while I smacked him in the back of the head. He shot me bitch face as Pamela made her way towards us.

"Of course. Chachi.

"Chachi?" Dean turned and mouthed to me. I shrugged.

"Emily dear, I hope things are well… I don't hear the boy toy? Trouble in paradise."

"Paradise was more of a snow globe. All fake." I answered.

"Men." She shook her head. "You don't need em anyways doll. So…, let's be clear. You want to rip your souls out of your bodies and take a little stroll through the spirit world?"

"Mm-hm." Dean answered.

"Do you have any idea how heavy-duty insane that is?" She asked as she folded her arms.

"Maybe, but that's where the reaper is, so..."

"So, it's nuts."

"Not if you know what you're doing."

"You don't know what you're doing."

"No, but you do."

"Yeah, I do. And guess what? I'm sick of being hauled back into your angel-demon, Soc-Greaser crap."

"Look, I'd love to be kicking back with a cold one, watching Judge Judy, too."

"Nice. More blind jokes?"

"Damn you two are cold." I mumbled. They both shot me bitch face.

"You know what I mean. We're talking the end of the world here, okay? No more tasseled leather pants, no more Ramones CDs, no more nothing."

Dean paused and let the silence give weight to the seriousness of the situation… and it truly was life or death for so many. It was important… but if I was Pamela I would probably run too.

"We need your help." Dean finally said.

"Fine… get me a few things."

Pamela made us a list and it didn't take us long to gather and set everything up. Dean was lighting several candles around the room and brought one over to the bedside table, where Pamela sat between both beds.

"Tell me something, geniuses. Even if you do break into the veil and you find the reaper, how you gonna save it?"

"With style and class." Dean smiled.

"You're gonna be walking pieces of fog who can't touch or move anything. You'll be defenseless, hotshot."

"I seem to recall a bunch of ghosts beating the crap out of us." I rebuttled.

"Yeah, well, they had plenty of time to practice."

"Well, then, I guess we got to start cramming."

"Wow, couple of heroes. All right."

"Three heroes." I corrected her. "I'm not sitting out this time.

"No way." Dean said folding his arms.

"NO WAY." I argued back. "Dean. You kept me out of the fight the last two times you two went walking around in peoples heads and shit. I am going, with or without your blessing. Get over it."

"Who's going to keep an eye on things out here?" He asked.

"Asshole." Pamela shot to him.

Just as I went to answer him, a knock came to the door. I walked over, gun out, and when I opened it I almost smiled.

"He is." I said as I stepped aside and Judson stepped in.

"What the hell is he doing here?"

"Keeping an eye on things assholes." I crossed my arms.

"What the hell is going on?" Judson asked as he closed the door behind him.

"We're going after the reaper. You're watching over us."

"Pamela, nice to see you again." Judson called out.

"Can't say the same." She smiled sarcastically and crossed her arms.

"Yeah. I get that a lot around here."

"Look. We are wasting time. I don't like it, but if you're going to be a bitch about all this and he's our only option then let's get this show on the road." Dean yelled frustrated. Sam shook his head in anger.

"Save the anger Sam, you'll need it when your vapor." Pam told him. "Now lay down on the bed and close your eyes."

I laid down beside Dean and Sam laid on the other bed.

"Animum vult decipi, ergo decipiatur. Vis, vis, vis. Okay, guys. That's it. Showtime."

"That's it?" I asked looking over to Dean.

"Well, nothing like shooting blanks. What's plan B?" He asked sitting up.

"Uhhh… Dean." I said as I noticed he was sitting up but his body was still laying down.

"Oh, I'm so feeling up Demi Moore." He smiled as I looked over to Sam who was now standing, staring down at himself. I copied his movements… fuck this is weird.

"All right, so, I'm assuming you're somewhere over the rainbow. Remember I have to bring you back." Pamela called out. Then she walked over to Sam. "I'll whisper the incantation in your ear."

Sam began to grin.

"What'd she say?" Dean asked curiously.

Sam shrugged innocently. I shook my head and walked over to Judson. I reached up and touched him with my hand. Just as I made contact, he closed his eyes and let out a breath.

He can feel me.

"Be careful baby. Come back to me." He whispered softly before opening his eyes again.

"Okay… let's go." Dean said as he led us out of the building and outside into the street. As we walk out everything is moving like it normally would, except for the jogger that runs straight through Sam… yes. Through him. Sam froze, grabbing his body. Dean and I laughed in awe.

"That was wild." Dean commented. Then he reached over and stuck his arm through Sam's chest. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"Get out of me." Sam said flatly. Dean pulled his arm back and stepped to the side.

"You're such a prude. Come on."

I giggled watching their banter, but then stepped forward, and realized I stepped right into an electrical box on the side walk.

"Whoa… that tingles a little."

"It's the electrical current." Sam answered.

"Maybe it'll super charge me." I smiled.

"Dork." He rolled his eyes at me and walked forward.

We walked for what felt like forever, and nothing… zip. Zilch. Nada.

"Man, we've been spooking this town for hours. No demons, no black smoke. I say we hit Victoria's Secret and get our peep on, huh?" Dean winked.

"DE!" I scalded.

"Hey. Three o'clock. Kid in the window." Sam called out, we looked up and sure enough the face we met was that of Cole Griffith.

"Am I crazy or is he looking at us?" Dean asked.

"It's 'cause we've seen him before." I told him.

"We have?"

"Newspaper. Cole Griffith, the last person to die in this town."

He then flickered and disappeared. We approached the house and even though I lifted my hand to knock, I quickly put it back down and simply held my breath as I walked through the door and into the home that I'm guessing was his. We walked up the stairs, where we crossed paths with a woman… a very sad woman. Had to be Cole's mother.

"Cole?" She said softly as she walked into the room where we last saw him, we followed her inside. "It's Mom. Your dad thinks I'm crazy. Are you here? A picture frame fell over. I could have sworn it was you, baby. Are you still here with me?"

"Dean…" I looked up to him with tears pulling at my eyes.

"I know Em." He moved to wrap an arm around me, but it just went right through. Suddenly a soccer ball flies past her and bounces off the door.

"Oh, my god!" She shrieked running out as it continued to fly around the room, accompanied by a basketball, a football, and a few others. We turned to see Cole in the corner by the dresser.

"Stop! How are you doing that?" Dean yelled to him. Suddenly they all fell to the floor.

"Who are you?" Cole asked defensively.

"Relax, Cole. It's okay." I said as I moved towards him.

"How do you know my name?"

"Look, this isn't gonna be easy to hear, but...you're—dead. You're a spirit. Us too."

"Yeah, thanks, Haley Joel. I know I'm dead. What do you want?"

I shrunk back a bit, surprised by his tone.

"We just want to talk." Sam told him.

"About what?"

"About what happened."

"I wanna go down stairs with mom."

"Okay, lets go."

Suddenly Cole disappeared. We rushed down the stairs and found his mom in the kitchen, then him. Watching her. I calmly approached Cole again.

"What happened cole?"

"I was outside all morning. They tell you to be careful when it's cold."

"Cold air can cause an asthma attack?" Dean asked. Cole nodded sadly.

"But then I was in my room. It happened so fast. I called out for my mom, but nothing came out. Everything started spinning, and then I was just standing there, looking down at my body."

"And that's when you saw the man?" Sam guessed.

"Creepy old guy in a black suit. He wanted me to go with him, but... I didn't want to go."

"Reaper." Sam whispered. I nodded in agreeance. "How'd you get rid of him?"

"I didn't. The black smoke did."

"Black smoke?" Dean asked.

"It was everywhere. I hid in the closet, and when I came out, it was gone, and so was he."

"Do you know where the smoke went?"

"No. But I know where it is."

Just as I was about to ask him if he could show us, the lights began to flicker, and Cole became very skiddish, jumping.

"They're back."

"Who?" Dean said preparing for a fight. Suddenly Cole vanished again, and a blast of wind filled the room, but it didn't affect Cole's mother. Only us.

"Dean. We should go." I said frantically.

"Wait…" He said as a white figure moved forwards towards us.

"Another reaper." Sam stated. It moved up the stairs, we moved to follow it.

"Hey! Hey! Wait! We need to talk to you!" Dean shouted, the light faded into a woman, who stopped, and turned to face us.

"Dean." She said shocked.

"Do I know you?"

"We go way back. You don't remember me?"

"Honestly, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl say that... You're gonna have to freshen my memory."

"Seriously Dean?" I rolled my eyes. The reaper stepped forward and placed her lips against his.

"Whoa. Awwwwkward." I mumbled to Sam as we watched against our will.

"Tessa." Dean said after he abruptly pulled away.

"That's one of my names, yeah."

"So, you do know her?" I asked.

"From the hospital after the accident."

"The accident with Dad?" Sam asked. My stomach flopped.

"So, this is the reaper that came after you." I asked angrily.

"Yeah."

"Well, this was fun. " Tessa said before turning away. "Now, if you'll excuse me—"

"HEY!" I called out to her. She stopped suddenly and looked down at me as I pushed past my brothers.

"… You tried to reap my brother. I'm not done with you yet." I lifted my hand, but nothing happened.

FUCK ME! No body. No blood. No powers.

"Cute." She giggled.

"Did you reap my father?" I asked her then. Her expression fell.

"No… we don't reap demon deals. Hell hounds take those souls under."

I pulled my eyes down to my feet at the thought of hell hounds dragging my father into hell. The sound of their growls in my head. I stepped back and Dean pushed past me.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, you can't—you can't take the kid." Dean told her.

"Why?"

"Demons are in town, that's why. They've already snatched your reaper pal. The kid knows where."

"So?"

"So, you should shag ass. For all we know, they could try and snatch you, too." Sam told her.

"Except that this town is off the rails. And someone has to set it straight."

"Yeah, we understand that, but these are special circumstances."

"What? Your whole angel-demon dance-off? I could care less. I just want to do my job."

"Right, yeah, and, look, we want to help you do your job. So, if you would just bail town—" I then told her sternly.

"No."

"Well, then, could you hold off until we fix this? Please." Dean asked nicely.

"All right, but just so we're clear, when I start reaping again, I'm starting with the kid." She sighed.

"Understood. I'll find him." Sam said passing us and going up the stairs.

"Wait Sam!" I called out. "What are you gonna say to him?"

"Whatever I have to."

He left and I was then alone with Tessa and Dean, who walked back down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Sit." She said as she sat at the table.

"Uh. Not sure I can."

"Focus on the chair, and sit."

Dean went first. And miraculously it worked, instead of falling to the ground, he was able to sit in the chair, and even lean forward onto the table. I followed suit slowly, taking in the new sensation.

"I'll tell you, life is funny." Tessa chuckled.

"What do you mean?"

"You and me, together again."

"Are you—are you making a move on me?"

"Please don't." I groaned. Tessa shook her head.

"You're the one that got away, Dean. You'd be surprised how little that happens to me."

"Can I tell you something?"

"Sure. I got time to kill."

"After our little, uh, experience...for that whole year, I felt like I had this...hole in my gut...like I was missing something. I didn't know what. Do you know what it was? It was you. The pain of losing my father and Sammy. I just...I wish I had gone with you for good. But I guess things are different now."

He looked over to me for a second. I felt like an intruder on their conversation.

"That hole isn't there anymore though." He then reassured me.

"Why? The angels on your shoulder?" Tessa asked.

"So, you know about that, huh? Well, hey, don't get me wrong. I mean, most the ones I've met are dicks with wings. But still... You know, I've done things. Horrible things. And someone upstairs still decided to give me a second chance. It just makes me feel...I don't know."

"Hey, guys." Sam interrupted as he and Cole entered the room.

"Hey, Cole. I'm Tessa. I'm not going to hurt you." Tessa approached him.

"It's okay, Cole. Just tell them what you told me."

"I saw the black smoke at my funeral."

"At the cemetery?"

"At the funeral home. It was everywhere."

The lights then began to flicker again.

"You doing that?" I asked Tessa.

"No." She said confused, the suddenly the door flew open and black smoke filled the house, we all his the floor and hunkered down until it was gone, when it disappeared the only person missing was Tessa.

"Tessa!" Dean yelled, searching for her.

"Cole, you okay?" I reached out and ask him. He nodded.

"Well, how the hell are we supposed to fight that?" Sam asked as Dean walked back in.

"I don't know. Learn some ghost moves?" I shrugged.

"By tonight? Yeah, sure. I'll meet you back at Mr. Miyagi's." Dean answered with thick sarcasm.

"Who's Mr. Miyagi?" Cole asked.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart… let's go outside. I think we might need your help, can you show us how to move things? Like you?" I asked him. He nodded and we stood, the boys followed us. We stood on the front porch, Cole challenging us to spin a small windmill in the yard.

Dean stepped up first. Glaring at the object.

"It's not gonna move if you don't concentrate." Cole told him.

"I am concentrating." He growled. I shot my eyes at him as a warning to take it easy, the kid is helping us out after all. He took a deep breath and tried again, this time, it began to turn, but quickly stopped.

"Ah, here we go, baby." He smiled.

"You pull a muscle?" Cole taunted him. I smiled.

"All right, Yoda, let's see what you got."

Cole took one look at the windmill and it began to spin, not stopping as he looked back at Dean, then the porch swing began to move, then the wind chimes. Sam and I began to laugh as the kid put Dean to shame.

"Dude! You are so Amityville."

"This isn't even the good stuff." He moved to the living room and we followed.

"Stand here." He told Sam as he pointed to the center of the room. Then he punched him straight in the stomach, I laughed as Sam quickly folded over in pain.

"See? If you want to hit something, you just got to get mad."

"Yeah. Got it." Sam groaned moving away.

The words Pamela said to him then stuck in my mind… she said to save his anger, cause he'd need it.

"Now you try. Hit me." Cole turned to Dean.

"Uh, I think I'll stick to just picking on somebody my own size." Dean said looking up to Sam, Cole quickly reached up and smacked him in the face. Sam and I burst out in laughter, Dean stepped back rubbing his face. Cole moved to me.

"Hit me as hard as you can."

"Dude, I'm not gonna do Fight Club with a twelve-year-old." I told him. "Besides, you won't hit a la-"

I was cut off by his hand meeting my face.

"Hey you little fucker!"

"See! Get angry… now you try!"

"FINE!" I yelled, I turned to Dean and slapped him across the face. Laughing and cheering at how well it worked.

"What the hell Em?"

"What?! I couldn't hit him!"

Cole then moved to Sam and slapped him again.

"Cut it out kid." He warned.

"Make me." Cole taunted hitting him again, this time though Sam blocked and moved to swing back, but when he did Cole vanished, and then reappeared beside Sam.

"WHOA! Teach me that!" Dean said with big eyes.

….

(THIRD PERSON POV)

Judson sat on Emily's side of the bed. Gently running his fingers through her hair. Getting concerned with just how still her body was. It breathed slowly, but other than that she was soft, and lax. He held her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across her knuckles. Taking in the new healing scratches.

"Always picking a fight somewhere." He chuckled.

"What's that?" Pamela asked?

"Em. She never backs down." He replied.

"She's tough."

"She's had no other choice."

"… So. You work for the angels?"

"Sort of." Judson sighed as he looked up to Pamela.

"Forgive me but I'm not exactly a fan."

"Neither am I most days."

"Yet you still work for them?"

"It's a long story…"

"You care for her."

"And you know this because?"

"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I'm not still psychic. I see with other senses."

"Well. I wish they all knew that."

"They do in a way, except Sam maybe… he's really got it out for you. But I don't think it's your fault."

"What do you mean?"

"Before I answer that let me ask you a question… Are you really and truly here to protect her?"

"Yes. With every ounce of my being."

"There's a darkness in him. Its consuming… I don't think it's your fault he hates you. It's what's inside him that's controlling him. Even if he can't see it."

"You can sense all that just being around him?"

"Like I said. I don't need my eyes to see some things."

"What about her?"

"She… is a whole nother story kid. She's special. I've never felt energy like that before."

"You know about the blood?"

"Of course I do."

"Is it going to overtake her?"

"I don't know… that's up to her."

"She can beat it. I know she can."

"I'm not sure it's about beating it… what's inside of her, there is an evil to it I've never felt before. But there is also a light. Stronger than what I felt when Castiel burned out my eyes. It's not the same as Sam… his darkness is consuming him. Hers' is fueling her."

….

(Emily's POV)

As we approached the funeral home there were blue glowing shapes all over the building. Difference shapes, different sizes, all with lines and squiggles. We stopped in the street and stared.

"This looks like New Jack City. Can nobody can see this?" Dean asked.

"Doesn't look like it." I answered as people walked past it without notice.

"Maybe it's demon invisible ink. Only see it in the veil." Sam suggested.

"Any idea what it's for?"

"We'll find out."

We entered the building, on the inside were more shapes on the walls, in the center of a large room was Tessa, lying inside a large eight pointed star, and beside her lay an old man in a suit, who I assume was the original reaper that was taken.

On the outside was a man standing guard. He hasn't noticed us yet, I tap Dean and point to him. Dean nods and we make a plan to take him out.

"Dude. Check me out." He whispers as he appears right in front of the man, he threw one punch, and then moved, Sam and I followed, jumping in and out, each taking a shot on him until he collapsted to the ground quickly.

"You know, this ghost thing, it's, it's kind of rad." Dean smiled to us, but then another man approached from behind a curtain carrying a chain, moaning in pain. Behind him was a second man.

"It's iron." Sam spoke, as we watched the chain sizzle in the man's hand. Meaning he is a demon. As is the second man, and now the third that enters the room behind us. They circle us with the chain.

"Find the place okay?" The third man asked, we turned to face him and his eyes rolled white.

"Iron… we can't get out of the circle." I mumbled out loud. Realizing suddenly this was a trap.

One of the demon's handed Alastair a shotgun, then he left. Alastair then lifted the gun and fired it, rock salt flying into Dean and forcing him to disintegrate.

"DEAN!" I screamed.

"Rock salt's not so much fun anymore, is it?" Alastair teased me.

Dean suddenly reappeared inside of the circle made by the chain.

"Alastair. You bastard." Dean growled at him.

"Well, go on. Why don't you try some of your mojo on me now, hotshot?"

Dean looks to Sam and I… I was fuming with anger, but the harder I tried, the angrier I got… nothing happened. Nothing. I looked over to Sam, who looked as frustrated as I was.

"It's hard to get it up when you're not wearing your meat, huh Sammy?"

"Go to hell."

"Ah, if only I could. But they just keep sending me back up to this arctic craphole."

"To kill death?" I asked.

"No, to kill death twice. It takes two to break a seal. I figured another one would show up, though. They're like lemmings." Alastair pumped the shotgun and fired, again, this time hitting Sam.

"STOP IT!" I screamed as Sam reappeared in pain.

"By the way, it's, uh, good to see you again, Dean." He smiled.

"You can shoot us all you want, but you can't kill us." Dean smiled back.

"Ah, that so?" Alastair taunted. Then he lifted the reaper's scythe into the air. "Anyhoo... Moon's in the right spot. The board is set. Let's get started, shall we?"

"You're gonna kill a reaper with that? It's little on the nose, don't you think?"

"Is it? An old friend lent it to me. You know, he doesn't really ride a pale horse? But he does have three amigos. And they're just jonesing for the apocalypse. It pays to have friends in low places. Don't you think?" He asked as he lifted the older reaper into the air and put the scythe around his neck. "Hic cruor messorius, illud sigillum, quod luciferem reverendum obstringit, aperiat ut resurgat!"

He pulled the scythe violently and a white light filled the room, then vanished… Alastair lowered the reaper's body to the floor, then stood. I looked up, noticing the chandelier hanging over the trap. I closed my eyes and focused as hard as I could.

"Stop!" I heard Tessa beg… as much as I'd like to see this bitch die, I squeezed as hard as I could, squeezing Dean's hand beside me, he must have caught on to what I was doing, because then he squeezed back.

"Hic cruor messorius illud sigillum, quod luciferem reverendum obstringit aperiat ut—"

The sound of the chandelier crashing to the floor cut him off, the reaper trap was officially broken and Tessa vanished from his grip. She then reappears where the iron chain is hung on the post and unhooks it, breaking the circle and releasing us.

"Bye-bye." Dean smiled as we all disappeared.

We stood in the street, catching our breath.

"Wait, where is your brother?" Tessa asked us.

"We'll find him. You get out of here." Dean told her.

…

(Third person POV)

Sam shot up out of the bed, finding Pamela fighting with a demon, Judson unconscious on the floor. He moved, but he wasn't fast enough to stop the demon from stabbing Pamela in the gut as she tried to finish the exorcism.

"Pamela!" He screamed. Sam raised his hand and the demon flew against the wall, he then is exorcised with just Sam's concentration, and his host slumps to the floor. Sam rushes over to Pamela, who has collapsed onto the ground. He finds her laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"I can't die—not in this town." She giggled moving her hand and revealing no blood. "The kid okay?"

"He's knocked out, but he'll live. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Quit your worrying, grumpy. How about you make me a drink, huh?"

"You need a doctor."

"Make me a drink, Sam."

….

(Emily's POV)

"Where the hell did he go?" I asked Dean as we walked down the alley.

"I don't know, maybe we should check the house?"

"You can't run." A voice called out from the darkness, Alastair moved closer to us. "Dean."

We froze in our tracks.

"Not from me. I'm inside that angsty little noggin of yours."

"Fuck off." I yelled stepping in front of Dean, knowing he was now playing mind games.

Suddenly a bright light strikes the ground where he stands, and he vanishes into thin air.

"What the hell?" Dean asked.

"Guess again." A voice calls from behind us. We turned abruptly and met Castiel face to face.

"What the hell just happened?" Dean asked positioning himself between Castiel and I.

"What just happened? You just saved a seal. We captured Alastair. Dean, this was a victory."

"Well, no thanks to you."

"What makes you say that?"

"You were here the whole time?" I asked.

"Enough of it."

"Well, thanks for your help with the rock salt." Dean then called out.

"That script on the funeral home—we couldn't penetrate it."

"That was angel-proofing." Dean nodded. We shared a look that reminded each other to take note of those silly blue shapes again before we leave. Could come in handy later.

"Why do you think I recruited you three in the first place?"

"You recruited us?"

"That wasn't your friend Bobby who called, Dean. It wasn't Bobby who told Sam about the seal."

"That was you?"

"We were afraid if we had asked, you might say no."

"Oh well I wonder why!" Dean then yelled at him.

"Dean stop." I whispered.

"No, no I'm not."

Castiel looked down.

"You bastards put us through enough! You sent someone to watch us, report on us, you lied to us, forced him to lie to her!" Dean said getting angrier by the second.

"We never have condoned the actions that took place between Judson and Emily. We simply allowed him to make his own mistakes as long as it did not threaten our work."

"Well that worked out great didn't it!"

"Dean stop please." I said still hiding at his side.

"Emily." Castiel spoke. I slowly looked up to him. "I apologize for the matter in which our investigation has taken place, but please know that there are those in heaven, who fight for you."

"And who do you fight for?" Dean asked him.

"I am not liberty to say. I cannot be involved in this"

"Sure sure… whatever. So, what now, huh? The people in this town, they just gonna start dying again?"

"Yes."

"These are good people. What, you think you can make a few exceptions?"

"To everything there is a season."

"You made an exception for me."

"You're different."

Suddenly Tessa is beside us, and Castiel is gone.

"Dean." Tessa said softly. "I could use your help before you go."

"Can you uh, can you send me back to the motel?" I asked. They both looked at me oddly. "I'm sorry… I can't watch you reap that little boy. I just. Can't."

"Of course." Tessa smiled gently, then she reached up and touched my shoulder.

Suddenly I was sitting up on the bed.

"Emily!" Judson said as he rushed over to my side.

"Jud… What happened to your eye?" I asked taking in the bruises.

"We were attacked." He confessed. I instantly jumped up and looked over to Pamela, and Sam.

"Sam.. we thought we lost you."

"No, I just got sent back here."

"Good thing too. He saved my ass… sorta." Pamela said lifting her drink.

"Oh my god… is that stab wound?! We've got to get you to a hospital!"

"Already tried." Judson told me.

"Pamela! Come on!"

"Chill kid, no blood no foul." She smiled as she drank again.

"Where's Dean?" Sam asked.

"… Helping Tessa with Cole." I admitted sadly.

Sam's shoulders fell. I leaned into him and he held me.

"Yeah… I'm pretty sure he's not the only one." Pamela said lifting her hand that was now blood stained.

"Shit!" Sam said rushing to her, lifting her and laying her on the empty bed.

"Sam! Get the med kit."

"Oh sweet girl… no med kit is gonna fix this." She said as she reached up and rubbed my cheek.

"No no no…" I began to cry. Judson's hands on by back as I sat on the edge of the bed beside her.

Suddenly Dean sat up gasping for air across from us.

"What happened?" He asked jumping up and rushing over to us.

"Dean, where's Tessa?" Sam asked him.

"She's... I don't know."

"Pamela, I'm so sorry." Sam said holding her hand.

"Stop." She smiled.

"You don't deserve this."

"Yeah, I don't. I told you I didn't want anything to do with this. Do me a favor? Tell that bastard Bobby Singer—to go to hell for ever introducing me to you two in the first place." She smiled as she spoke. I bit my lip to hold back the sobs… joking or not. She's right. We got her killed… just like we do with everyone else. I turned and buried my face in Judson's shoulder as she began to cough.

"Take it easy, Pamela. If it's any consolation, you're going to a better place." Dean told her.

"You're lying. But what the hell, right? Everybody's got to go sometime. Hey Em… you give em hell. No matter who, or what you end up against… give em hell. You're a fighter."

I grabbed her hand and squeezed, she lifted it to her mouth and kissed the back of my hand before releasing it. I fell back into Judson and cried as quietly as I could.

"Come here." She then said to Sam, who leaned down, she began to whisper in his ear. His face anxious.. but then her hand fell to the bed and she became still. Sam sat up and pulled away.

"Pamela?" He asked.

"Pamela!" Dean said reaching for her hand, but it was still.

"What did she say to you?" Dean turned to Sam. But instead of answering he got up and walked out of the room.

"Dean." I cried. "We did this."

"… I know." He nodded. "I know."

….

We loaded up and headed out, finding a peaceful break in the trees to build a pyre outside of town. We notified Bobby… and he took care of the rest for us. We stood until the flames turned into only ashes, being carried away from us by the wind. The stars were bright, and the moon lit the trees and cast shadows.

Sam and Dean were the first ones to walk away, I turned and caught them at the trunk, discussing something… undoubtedly Pamela's last words.

But I couldn't be in that fight right now… I couldn't be in any fight. My body was fine, but my mind was exhausted. My spirit felt heavy and burdended.

"You okay babe?" Judson asked as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

"Yeah." I nodded. "As much as I can be."

"I'm sorry about Pamela. She was a great woman."

"Yeah. She was…"

"Em, I know you're feeling pretty responsible right now. But Pamela was a big girl. She made decisions because she knew how important this was. How valuable the seals are."

"I'm too tired to get into this right now."

"You wanna go lay down in the backseat."

"Not yet." I admitted as I turned and buried myself in him again. He wrapped his arms around me, rocking us back and forth as he kissed my forehead.

"I missed this." He whispered.

"… This doesn't change anything." I told him solemnly. He slowly stilled. "I'm just too tired to fight myself right now. So if the part of me that still loves you wants to step up… then I can't fight that. Not tonight."

"The part of you that still loves me?" He asked.

"I've tried." I sighed. "I've tried not to love you until I damn near hate you… but I can't stop."

"I'm sorry I did this. I'm sorry you have to fight yourself, in the middle of fighting against the world."

"That's what my life has always been… a fight. Why change that now?"

"I'll make it better Em. I promise."

"I don't know if you can."

"Well then I'll die trying."

"… That's what I'm afraid of."

He didn't reply, but only sighed. He moved us back towards the car, and slid into the backseat. I slid in behind him. Reaching up to kiss both Sam and Dean on the cheek before laying down with my head in his lap.

I know this won't last…

I know they won't let him stay…

Hell. I don't want him to stay.

But tonight, I don't want to fight it. Tonight I want to feel safe. I want to feel loved. I want to feel his hands on by body… his skin rub against my skin.

Tonight… I just want to stop the fight.


	81. Chapter 81

Author's Note: Thank you so much to the sweet Ladysunshine6 who is always encouraging me and supporting to me, and letting me vent about my troubles. Thank you for you imagination and creativity, this chapter is improved because of your wonderful ideas! I hope you and everyone else enjoy it, and the ones to come! We are not far from the season finale now! … Getting excited to introduce a few characters into our story! Please READ and REVIEW! I LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU GUYS. Reviews literally make my day. Love you all. Till next time!

(Third Person POV)

"Ruby will meet us outside Cheyenne. She's been tracking some leads. I know she's not exactly on your Christmas list, but if she can help us get to Lilith—" Sam started.

"Hey, man, work with Ruby, don't. I don't really give a rat's ass." Dean shrugged.

"What's your problem?"

"Pamela didn't want anything to do with this and we dragged her back into it, Sam."

"Shhh… you'll wake up Em. She was upset enough about that last night." Sam said as he looked into the backseat where she laid asleep. She had been sleeping on and off since they split ways with Judson. She seemed uninterested in sleeping when he was there, which drove Sam crazy. He turned back to face Dean. "She knew what was at stake."

"Oh yeah. Saving the world. And we're doing such a damn good job of it."

"Dean-"

"I'm tired of burying friends, Sam. I'm tired of watching Em take on that guilt… hell I'm tired of taking it on."

"Look, we catch a fresh trail—"

"And we follow it, I know. Like I said, I'm just—I'm just getting tired."

"Well, get angry."

…..

(Emily's POV)

"Ah… home crappy home." Dean said as he unlocked the motel door and I stumbled inside behind him in the dark.

"I'm hungry." I mumbled as Sam flipped on the lights.

"Winchesters." A deep voice pulled my attention away from my growling stomach.

"Uriel." I replied stiffly. Then looked beside him… Castiel. He looked at me with some sort of emotion in his bright blue eyes, but I couldn't decipher it. He merely continued to stare at me until Dean spoke.

"Oh come on." Dean groaned loudly.

"You are needed." Uriel replied.

"Needed? We just got back from needed."

"Now, you mind your tone with me."

"No, you mind your damn tone with us. Incase you forgot, you're still on my shit list." Dean warned him as he moved to stand closer to me.

"We just got back from Pamela's funeral." Sam added annoyed. "Do we really have to deal with this right now?"

"Pamela. You know, psychic Pamela? You remember her? Cas, you remember her. You burned her eyes out. Remember that? Good times. Yeah, then she died saving one of your precious seals. So maybe you can stop pushing us around like chess pieces for five freaking minutes!" Dean then yelled angrily.

"We raised you out of hell for our purposes." Uriel reminded him.

"Yeah, what were those again? What exactly did you want from me?"

"Start with gratitude."

"Start with fucking off." I shot back. He sent me a look full of distain and what I could only describe as hate.

"Emily please." Castiel spoke.

"You have no right to talk to her. You speak to me." Dean cut him off before he could continue.

"Dean, we know this is difficult to understand."

"And we…" Uriel paused to look at Castiel. "Don't care. Now. Seven angels have been murdered, all of them from our garrison. The last one was killed tonight."

"Demons? How they doing it?" Dean asked.

"We don't know."

"I'm sorry, but what do you want us to do about it? I mean, a demon with the juice to ice angels has to be out of our league, right?" I stopped and asked. "Or are you wanting to use me for a test run?"

"We can handle the demons, thank you very much." Uriel snarked.

"Once we find whoever it is." Castiel added.

"So you need our help hunting a demon?" Dean asked.

"Not quite. We have Alastair."

"Great. He should be able to name your trigger man."

"But he won't talk. Alastair's will is very strong. We've arrived at an impasse."

"Yeah, well, he's like a black belt in torture. I mean, you guys are out of your league."

"That's why we've come to his student. You happen to be the most qualified interrogator we've got." Uriel smiled. Dean instantly looked down to the floor. I could see the terror in his eyes.

"Dean, you are our best hope." Castiel added.

"No. No way. You can't ask him to do this, Castiel. Not this." I begged moving to stand in front of him. Uriel moved towards me. I shrank back at his wide steps.

"Who said anything about asking?"

(Third Person POV)

As soon as Uriel spoke the words, Sam was alone in the motel room. He began spinning in circles, wondering why in the hell they took Emily as well.

"DAMMIT!" He yelled in frustration.

….

Dean's eyes stared through the window in the door. Alastair was chained up, standing in the middle of a very advanced devil's trap. Staring back at Dean.

"This devil's trap is old Enochian. He's bound completely." Castiel explained from behind Dean.

"Fascinating." Dean flatly replied as he turned away from the door.

"Where's the door in here?"

"Where are you going?"

"Hitch back to Cheyenne, thank you very much." Dean began to walk, passing the angels, until Uriel blocked his path.

"Angels are dying, boy."

"Everybody's dying these days. And hey, I get it. You're all-powerful. You can make me do whatever you want. But you can't make me do this."

"This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it." Castiel spoke calmly, Dean faced him, then turned back to Uriel.

"I want to talk to Cas alone."

"I think I'll go seek revelation. We might have some further orders."

"Well, get some donuts while you're out."

"Ah, this one just won't quit, will he? I think I'm starting to like you, boy." Uriel laughed before vanishing.

"You guys don't walk enough. You're gonna get flabby." Dean commented turning to face Castiel. He doesn't react. "You know, I'm starting to think junkless has a better sense of humor than you do."

"Uriel's the funniest angel in the garrison. Ask anyone."

Dean rolled his eyes but walked up towards Castiel.

"What's going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?"

"My superiors have begun to question my sympathies."

"Your sympathies?"

"I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment. And the fact that I allowed Judson to carry on a relationship with Emily doesn't help. I do truly sympathize for her. I hope that you know that our intentions were never to hurt her."

"We're not talking about that. Not right now. You need to tell Uriel, or whoever,… you do not want me doing this. Trust me."

"Want it, no. But I have been told we need it."

"You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out."

"For what it's worth, I would give anything not to have you do this." Castiel responded. Dean stepped to the side and ran his hand over his face. Gathering his thoughts as he closed his eyes.

"If I do this… I want something in return."

"Anything I can do, I will."

"Emily. I don't want Uriel in the same room as her. EVER again. He is never to speak to her. Look at her. Intimidate her. Haunt her in her dreams… nothing."

"I'm sure that is an easy contract to draw, I do not anticipate my superiors finding an issue within your request."

"… Cas. Whatever happens in this room. You can't let them know."

Castiel nodded in understanding.

….

(Emily's POV) 

"Dammit…" I whispered as I struggled against the ropes that bound my hands behind me.

"HELLO!" I yelled again. Sitting in a dark room, barely able to see my feet below me. There was a door, I could see light coming under the crack, but that was it.

"Dammit! HELLO!" I began to get frustrated. I can burn through ropes without a problem… why are these so damn difficult?!

Suddenly footsteps approached. I could see them under the crack of the door. I froze. Holding my breath. The door creaked as it slowly pushed open.

"You?" I asked in surprise.

"Do not speak to me maggot… you are not worthy to be in my presence." Uriel growled as he shut the door behind him. It was dark for only a moment before there was suddenly light in front of me. Through a large window… there he was. Alastair.

"What the hell is this?" I asked him.

"This… is for my own amusement. Don't worry. They can't hear you. See you. And those ropes? They're weaved with Enochian gold. Even you can't break through them."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I want you to suffer before I end your miserable pathetic life. An abomination like you only stands in the way of Lucifer. Will only distract him from his purpose. And I can't have that…"

"Lucifer? …. You want the seals to break. You want him to break loose don't you?" I asked in shock.

"I want to be led by a TRUE leader. I want to be recognized for my hard work and loyalty."

"You're a psycho." I shook my head.

"And you… are finally going to die. Don't worry. He knows how to get in when the time is right."

Uriel laughed as he walked back towards the door.

"Wait! WAIT!" I screamed.

"HELP!" I begged. "HELP! CASTIEL!... JUDSON!"

…

(Third Person POV)

Dean wheeled a loaded cart covered with a cloth into the room where Alastair is imprisoned, Alastair watches and begins to sing. Moving his chains as if he was dancing with excitement. Emily watched through the double mirror in fear, knowing that the man she's known her whole life is fixing to become someone else… someone he can't stand to be.

"Heaven, I'm in heaven, and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. I seem to find the happiness I seek, when we're out together dancing cheek to cheek..." Alastair sang, then stopped. Laughing as Dean pulls the cloth off of the cart. Dean ignored him, and didn't realize he was facing the mirror, where Emily sat on the other side. Screaming out his name.

"I'm sorry. This is a very serious, very emotional situation for you. I shouldn't laugh, it's just that—I mean, are they serious? They sent you to torture me?"

"You got one chance. One. Tell me who's killing the angels. I want a name." Dean replied.

"You think I'll see all your scary toys and spill my guts?"

"Oh, you'll spill your guts, one way or another. I just didn't wanna ruin my shoes."

"Oh, yeah."

"Yeah. Now answer the question."

"Or what? You'll work me over? But then, maybe you don't want to. Maybe you're, ah, scared to." Alastair taunted him with a devilish girn.

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Not entirely. You left part of yourself back in the Pit. Let's see if we can get the two of you back together again, shall we?"

"You're gonna be disappointed." Dean announced as he walked over towards the cart. Emily could see the panic in his eyes when his back was to Alastair.

"You have not disappointed me so far. Come on. You gotta want a little payback for everything I did to you. For all the pokes and prods. Hm?"

"No? Um...how about for all the things I did to your daddy?"

Dean lifts his head and stares straight ahead biting his lip.

….

"I can still smell them. Seriously, Sam, I'm not exactly dying to tangle with angels again." Ruby said as she walked through the motel door.

"I need you to find out where they took Dean and Emily."

"Not sure I see the problem. You know they have Alastair strung up six ways from Sunday. Emily can't interfere. Dean cuts himself a slice, Al's reduced to a quivering heap, and the good guys get the goods. What's wrong with that?"

"He can't do it. And we have no idea what they could be doing with Emily right now."

"Look, I get it. You don't want him going all torture master again." Ruby rolled her eyes.

"No. I mean, he can't do it. He can't get the job done. Something happened to him downstairs, Ruby. He's not what he used to be. He's not strong enough. And if they've got Em locked up somewhere then she's no help and this is going to go bad."

"So what, you're strong enough?"

"I will be."

"I'm all game for this Sam, you know I am. But I still can't help you find them."

"Dammit…"

"You know who you need to call."

"Who?"

"The angel's little bitch boy, if anyone can track down Emily its going to be him."

"No."

"Well… then I guess call me when you find them." Ruby said walking towards the door.

"WAIT!" Sam yelled in frustration. Ruby turned to face him. "Fine. I'll call him."

Ruby crossed her arms and watched as Sam picked up the phone and started dialing the number.

"Hello?" Judson answered.

"Hey it's Sam. We got a problem."

"Whats going on?"

"Emily and Dean. They're gone."

"Gone?!"

"Yeah. Your damn angel buddies stormed in here, demanding that Dean help them torture Alastair and then suddenly he and Emily were both gone."

"Why did they take Emily?"

"I don't know. Was hoping maybe you could fill in the missing pieces."

"No. I don't know anything about this, I haven't spoken to Castiel since Pamela died. I was told he was preoccupied."

"We need to find them. Now."

"Where are you? I'll head there now."

…..

"I had your pop on my rack for close to a century." Alastair teased. Emily's stomach rolled at the thought.

"You can't stall forever." Dean warned.

"John Winchester. Made a good name for himself. A hundred years. After each session, I'd make him the same offer I made you. I'd put down my blade if he picked one up."

"Just give me the demon's name, Alastair."

"But he said nein each and every time. Oh, damned if I couldn't break him. Pulled out all the stops, but John, he was, well, made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. And then came Dean. Dean Winchester. I thought I was up against it again."

Dean tipped a bottle to his lips, undoubtedly filled with whiskey.

"But daddy's little girl, she was his weak spot… he almost gave in when it came to her. But you. You broke the moment I dragged her into your mind. You broke in thirty. Oh, just not the man your daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean?"

Emily's mind spun in circles… how was she the downfall? How

Dean put down the whiskey bottle, and then picked up a bottle of holy water.

"Now we're getting somewhere. Holy water? Come on. Grasshopper, you're gonna have to get creative to impress me." Alastair laughed. Dean finally looked up to him.

"You know something, Alastair? I could still dream. Even in hell. And over and over and over, you know what I dreamt? I dreamt of this moment. And believe me, I got a few ideas."

Dean filled a large syringe with a long needle on the end with holy water, then he walked over to Alastair.

"Let's get started." Dean smiled.

Alastair's screams rang in Emily's ears as she pinched her eyes closed. Castiel turned towards the door but knew not to approach it. Not to add to difficulty Dean was experiencing.

"Oh, man. Ooh." Alastair groaned as Dean put the needle back down on the cart.

"Let me know if you want some more. There's plenty left."

"Go directly to hell. Do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars." Alastair growled.

Dean smiled. Enjoying the pain in his voice. Enjoying the feeling of control.

….

A knock on the door pulled Sam's attention. He opened it and Judson stepped through.

"Okay, so I can't get any answers on Castiel's whereabouts, but I'm assuming wherever he is, they are too. Now if they're holding Alastair captive, they're going to want to be hidden. They're going to go to some place way off the map."

"Off the map?" Sam asked.

"Well. Not literally… at least I hope." Judson said as he lifted a map and spread it out over the table. He dumped out a few items and began to set up some kind of spell.

"I can't track the angels." He admitted. "But I can track Emily."

"How?" Ruby asked.

"A blood spell."

"Blood? Where in the hell did you get her blood?" Sam asked angrily.

"Don't worry. She wasn't harmed, It's something I gathered a long time ago incase of situations, like these."

Judson finished the incantation for the spell and the map began to burn on the edges, it burned until all that was left was a city.

"There. She's somewhere there. I should be able to sense her once we get close enough."

"Great. Let's go." Ruby said turning towards the door.

"Sam… can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Ruby. We'll be out in a minute." Sam said nodding her off. "What?"

"Look. Ruby coming with us is dangerous. If she walks into an angel territory, she'll be killed instantly. And maybe you too for just being with her."

Sam pondered the thought for a moment.

"Look… I need some time with her, to prep. Can you meet me in that town?"

"Yeah. Sure." Judson nodded, but he was certainly curious what exactly it was Sam was prepping for.

"Okay. I'll meet you there."

…..

"There's that little pig-poker. I wondered where it went." Alastair said as Dean lifted Ruby's knife. He then pour holy water over the blade. "Do you really think this is gonna fix you? Give you closure? That is sad. That's really sad. Sad, sad."

Dean approached him quietly, sadistically. Then stabbed the knife into him, his eyes smiled as it sizzled.

Emily watched, like a train wreck you couldn't look away from.

She had seen him angry.

She had seen him emotionally beat down.

She had seen him cross a line.

But she had never seen this Dean before. A Dean who truly and honestly enjoyed the pain he was inflicting. A Dean who knew the worst of ways to hurt someone. His creativity in this session was horrifying. All she could do is close her eyes and try to convince herself that it was HER Dean that was somewhere in that room. Somewhere… her Dean was still there. Afraid. In pain. Looking for a way to get out.

"I carved you into a new animal, Dean. There is no going back." Alastair taunted. The words ringing in Emily's ears.

"Maybe you're right. But now it's my turn to carve."

"No!" Alastair screamed as Dean carved a chunk of his body and watched it fall to the floor. Emily held back the urge to vomit as she watched Dean practically fillet the demon right before her eyes.

What she didn't see however, was the leaking faucet, blurring the line of the devil's trap.

….

Outside of the room Castiel listened to the screams. Waiting patiently for the deed to be done, until he sensed something. Someone.

"Anna." He said before turning to face her.

"Hello, Castiel."

"Your human body—" He wondered as he took in her familiar appearance.

"It was destroyed, I know. But I guess I'm sentimental. Called in some old favors and..." Anna was cut off by the screams ringing throughout the building.

"You shouldn't be here. We still have orders to kill you."

"Somehow I don't think you'll try. Where's Uriel?"

"He went to receive revelation."

"Right." She scoffed. "Why are you letting Dean do this?"

"He's doing God's work."

"Torturing? That's God's work? Stop him, Cas, please. Before you ruin the one real weapon you have."

"Who are we to question the will of God?"

"Unless this isn't his will."

"Then where do the orders come from?"

"I don't know. One of our superiors, maybe, but not him. The father you love. You think he wants this? You think he'd ask this of you? You think this is righteous?"

Castiel looks away from her.

"What you're feeling? It's called doubt." She said as she reached out and touched his hand. "These orders are wrong and you know it. But you can do the right thing. You're afraid, Cas. I was too. But together, we can still—"

"Together?" He asked as he yanked his hand away from her. "I am nothing like you. You fell. Go."

"Cas."

"Go."

Anna vanished as Alastair's screams filled the room again.

….

Dean slowly and twistingly pulled the knife out of Alastair, who's head falls forward, Dean tilts it forward, ignoring the blood pouring onto his hand.

"Now it's your professionalism that I respect." Alastair laughed. Dean turned away disgusted, Alastair spitting blood from behind him. Dean picks up a bottle of holy water and then walks back over to Alastair, grabbing his chin and tilting it upwards as he poured the liquid down his throat.

"Who's murdering the angels?" He asked coldly as Alastair choked and sizzled in pure pain. He screams and thrashes in the chains. Eventually spitting out the blood and holy water as Dean stopped.

"You're just not getting deep enough. Well, you lack the resources. Reality is just, I don't know, too concrete up here. Honestly, Dean..." Alastair spoke through a raspy voice. "You have no idea how bad it really was, and what you really did for us."

"Shut up." Dean whispered.

"The whole bloody thing, Dean. The reason Lilith wanted you there in the first place."

"Well, then I'll just make you shut up." He said as he grabbed his chin once again.

"Lilith really—" He began but Dean poured salt down his throat and cut him off. When Dean finished he stepped away, and Alastair spewed blood and salt in a desperation to get air into his lungs.

"Something caught in my throat. I think it's my throat." He jokes.

"Well, strap in, 'cause I'm just starting to have fun." Dean said as he walked back over to his cart.

"DEAN!" Emily screamed. "Dean… please."

She began to cry in desperation.

"Please stop…. Please.. HEAR ME!"

"It was supposed to be your father." Alastair mumbled. Causing both Dean and Emily's heads to lift upwards. "He was supposed to bring it on. But, in the end, it was you."

"Bring what on?" Dean asked as he poured water and salt over the knife while facing away from Alastair.

"Oh, every night, the same offer, remember? Same as your father. And finally you said, "Sign me up." Oh, the first time you picked up my razor, the first time you sliced into that weeping bitch..."

Dean turned to face him.

"That was the first Seal."

"No…" Emily whispered. "No no no…"

She knew the guilt he carried would only be magnified by this… it couldn't be true. It just can't. He can't bear anything more.

Dean however didn't react. He only walked closer to Alsastair.

"You're lying." He spoke.

"And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break." Dean turned away from him. Emily could only watch the shock on his face as this reality sank in. She struggled against her ropes in attempt to get to him. "We had to break the first seal before any others. Only way to get the dominoes to fall, right? Topple the one at the front of the line. When we win, when we bring on the apocalypse and burn this earth down, we'll owe it all to you, Dean Winchester."

Dean's eyes closed.

"Believe me, son, I wouldn't lie about this. It's kind of a religious sort of thing with me."

"No. I don't think you are lying. But even if the demons do win..." Dean stated as he lifted Ruby's knife to his face to examine it. "You won't be there to see it.

Emily was the first to see… the first to notice as Alastair broke free of his chains from behind Dean's back. Silently approaching him without warning.

"NO! DEEAN!" Emily screamed and thrashed.

She continued to scream his name as he turned and Alastair was only inches behind him.

"You should talk to your plumber about the pipes." Alastair smiles before punching him and knocking him to the ground. Proceeding to beat him until blood splattered onto the window Emily sat behind.

(Emily's POV)

"NOOO! Somebody! Please!" I begged as Dean's blood mixed with Alastairs and began to splatter on the window in front of me.

But then he stopped. And he stood… looking through the window. Directly at me.

I froze. My breath held in my throat.

"Oh Emily Anne… I know you're there." He taunted me. I swallowed and tried again to break free of the ropes that bound me as he reached up and shattered the glass that separated us.

"What the hell do you want from me!" I demanded as he stepped through the window effortlessly. Knife in hand.

"Did you enjoy the show? Huh? Big brother become what you always dreamed he would?"

"FUCK you!"

"Oh, sweetheart. Don't tease me. Do you want to know a little secret?"

He leaned down close to my body, I shrunk away from him, but could only go so far bound to the chair.

"You're the reason he caved." He whispered into my ear. "You see… I can do many many things in the realms of hell. I can make people see things. Hear things. Ohhh, when he heard you and Sammy scream under my knife. When he saw the blood spew from your body. How could he say no any longer? After all… you two are his weak spot. But you… you are special to him. How's about we try this in real life?"

I screamed out as he cut into my body.

"How about another scar to match the one you already have?" He laughed as I screamed out in pain.

….

Castiel becomes concerned by the sound of silence coming from the room. When he approached the window, he found the trap empty. He immediately burst into the room. Finding Dean unconcious and bloody, and Alastair out of sight for the moment. But then he heard her screams.

He rushed over to the shattered window and there he found Alastair, knife driven from his hand into Emily's abdomen.

"STOP!" He commanded. Alastair stood, and threw the knife down as he faced Castiel.

"Well, like roaches, you celestials. Now, I really wish I knew how to kill you. But all I can do is send you back to heaven." Alastair said as he and Castiel began to struggle, ending with Castiel against the wall.

Just as he began the chanting to send Castiel out of his vessel, he began to choke. His grip became weak.

"Pet tricks." He grumbled as he released Castiel and he slid to the floor.

"Who's murdering the angels? How are they doing it!" Sam asked with his hand raised to Alasatair.

"You think I'm gonna tell you?" He mocked and laughed.

"Yeah I do." Sam smiled as he twisted his hand and Alastair's eyes rolled white and he began to choke.

Once Alastair was distracted Judson charged past him and into the room where Emily laid bound to the chair, bleeding onto the floor.

"Oh god… Em… Em wake up!" Judson said as he tapped her cheek. She came to quickly. Feeling fire in her hands, as the ropes continued to bound not only her wrists, but the energy that was attempting to escape them.

"Untie me… Please." She begged.

"Okay baby. Hold on." He said as he reached behind her and began to release her. Once she was released she instantly crawled to the broken window and used it to lift her bleeding body to stand. She looked down to Dean laying unconscious in the floor, then up to where Sam held Alastair.

"Em baby we gotta get you outta here, your bleeding." Judson panicked as he took off his jacket and used it to hold pressure against her wound.

"No… Not yet." She growled in anger.

"How are the demons killing angels?" Sam asked again.

"I don't know." Alastair confessed.

"Right."

"It's not us. We're not doing it."

"I don't believe you."

"Lilith is not behind this. She wouldn't kill seven angels. Oh, she'd kill a hundred, a thousand."

Sam stops and released him.

"Oh, go ahead. Send me back, if you can." Alastair taunted.

"Who said anything about sending you back?!" Emily spat at him in rage. She lifted one of her hands and it began to glow red, she screamed as she focused all of her anger, all of her rage, her pain at him. Alastair's feet lifted off the ground, and the veins in his face began to blow bright red. Starting from his feet, his body turned to ash, and his screams dissipated as he began to parish before Sam's eyes.

Once he was gone Emily collapsed to the ground.

"NO!" Sam yelled angrily. "I could have done it!"

"Sam! She's bleeding…" Judson yelled back at him.

Sam's anger was fleeting, he looked down to Dean, then over to where Judson lifter her body. He rushed over to the window and took her from Judson as he passed her through the broken glass carefully.

"We gotta get them to a hospital." Sam said as he cradled her against him.

"Castiel!" Judson called out, but he was nowhere to be found.

…..

(Emily's POV)

The beeping was endless, and annoying as hell. It was a rhythm. Beep. Beep. Beep.

I pulled my eyes open in attempt to find its source, and destroy it. But when I opened my eyes they met Judson's. And the beeping was soon forgotten.

"Hey baby." He whispered as he reached up and pushed my hair out of my face.

"Hi." I mumbled. "Are we in another fucking hospital?"

"Yeah. You and Dean were in pretty rough shape."

"Is he okay?"

"Well. Hes stable. He'll recover, it will just take some time."

"I wanna see him." I said moving to sit up. But the pain put me back down quickly. "Shit."

"Baby, there's somethings we need to talk about before you go see Dean."

"What?"

"Let me go get the doctor." He said as he kissed the top of my head and left.

He returned a few moments later, a doctor behind him.

"Hi Emily, I'm Dr. Stansen." She said as she walked over and shook my hand.

"What's going on?" I asked looking between her and Judson. "Where are my brothers?"

"Sam is with Dean. We'll go see them in a minute. I promise."

"Emily, there is something I need to discuss with you, we can do this in private if you'd like."

"He's fine. Just tell me what the hell is going on."

"The cut on your abdomen, sits very low. The knife penetrated and sliced through your uterus. We were able to repair it, but there is going to be a large amount of scar tissue there when it finishes healing."

"What does that mean?"

"Emily I'm terribly sorry, but your body will be unable to carry a child. You will not be able to have children of your own."

"What?" I whispered.

"Your ovaries are intact, and will continue to cycle like normal, but your uterus will never be able to carry a pregnancy to term, you would most likely miscarry early in the first trimester if you were to get pregnant."

"Are we done." I said as I looked down at my hands.

"Yes maam, I know this is a lot to take in. Please don't hesitate to ask for me if you have any questions."

She stood and left the room, leaving Judson and I alone.

I mean… its not like I had ever really planned to become a mom. Its not like I had baby names picked out for 'one day' down the road. Hell. I don't even really expect to ever end up married… but. Having the choice taken away from me feels worse than I would have thought.

"Em." He mumbled as he sat down on the side of the bed. I pulled on his arm and scooted, silently asking for him to lay beside me. He did, and I buried my face into his chest. I just wanted to be close to him right now. I just wanted t+/-o be safe. "I'm so sorry baby."

"Why? It's not like I was gonna have kids anyways."

"It's my job to protect you."

"Even you can't protect me from the angels."

"What?" He asked as he pulled back to look me in the eye.

"Uriel. He took me… He's been killing the angels. I thought you guys knew?"

"We gotta go find Castiel. Now." Judson said as he unhooked my IV and lifted me out of the bed. He discreetly carried me to a wheelchair, where he then took us onto the elevator and down three floors. Once the doors opened I could see Sam and Castiel in the hallway arguing.

We approached them quickly, Sam looked down and met my eyes.

"Em." He said as he moved to squat in front of me. "Did you talk to the doctors?"

"Yeah. I know." I said looking down at my hands.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I'm so sorry."

"it's fine Sammy." I tried to tell him as I pushed on a brave face.

"Emily, tell Castiel what you just told me."

I sighed and looked up to the angel, he seemed troubled, and I was fixing to add to that.

"Uriel… he put in those ropes. He made me watch everything… he told me about how he was finally going to end my pathetic miserable life, and then he talked about how he couldn't wait for Lucifer to rise and to be recognized by a true leader."

"What?!" Sam asked angrily. "DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS?!"

Sam pushed Castiel against the wall.

"Sam stop! He didn't know!" I demanded.

Sam released him and turned back towards me.

"I'm sorry. I have to go… apparently we have matters to gather control over. I am truly sorry."

Just like that the Castiel was gone.

"How is Dean?" I asked as I leaned to look into his room. His eyes were closed and there was a tube in his mouth breathing for him. I haven't seen him this bad since the car wreck. It made the pit of my stomach roll.

… So many similarities between then and now. Except for Daddy.

"He's stable. They're hoping to pull the tube out tonight. He's doing better Em. How bout you?" Sam asked as he pushed me into the room and sat down beside me.

"I'm okay."

"Are you really?"

"Yes. Sam…"

"Em don't lie to me."

"Sam. I'm still processing it okay? I don't… I don't know how I feel yet."

"Well. When you do, please talk to me about it. I'm worried bout you kiddo."

"I'm okay. Really. As soon as I'm not you'll know."

….

I spent all night at Dean's bedside, Judson and Sam took turns sitting with me and trying to convince me to go back to my own room, but the truth was that I'm stable. I'm stitched up. And I'll just be sitting around or walking around anyways. I might as well do it in here with Dean.

The doctors keep talking about taking out the tube and waking him up, but it's taking a while to get his body ready for that.

"Okay. I've had the vent on its lowest settings for an hour now. He's maintained so lets extubate." They said as they came into the room. Sam stood, and I pulled up to stand beside him. We watched as the deflated and removed the tube, Dean began to cough, and they suctioned out his airway.

Finally is eye opened and he began to stir as they finished and walked out of the room.

"Em." He mumbled as his eyes met mine.

"I'm here De… we're okay. Alastair's dead."

He nodded.

"Hey man. You get some rest. We aren't going anywhere." Sam sad as his eyes began flutter closed again.

…..

"I still don't see why I have to spend the night in my room instead of Dean's." I grumbled as Judson wheeled me back up to my room.

"Because he needs the rest and so do you. He'll still be there in the morning when you wake up."

"I don't wanna be alone tonight." I confessed as I transferred from the chair to the bed.

"Sweetheart. They would have to drag me out in chains to keep me from staying with you tonight. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you." I whispered.

"Please. Don't do that… if anything I should still be apologizing."

"Jud. You couldn't have stopped Uriel. All that matters now is that we're all okay, and he's going to be dealt with."

"He will babe, trust me. Castiel won't just let this go. Neither will the upper ranks."

"Good." I said as I cuddled against him on the small bed.

"Hey Jud… Can I ask you something."

"Anything babe."

"How did Sam do what he did? I mean… I've tried to hold Alastiar back before, he's strong. Really strong."

"I don't know Em. I know he was with Ruby before we showed up."

"Great." I sighed as my stomach sank. Fucking Ruby.

"I'm sorry hun… he insisted that he needed her help to prepare."

"I don't like the sound of that."

"I know."

"… Are you going to stay with us?"

"If you want me to."

"I don't wanna be without you anymore." I admitted softly. "I miss you every day… and Its been weeks."

"Well then wild horses couldn't drag me away." He smiled as he leaned down and kissed me.

"I like that song." I smiled.

"I really have missed you…" He said as kissed down my cheek to my chin, then back up to my lips.

"I'm just trying to forget all this angel bullshit… put it behind us."

"It's not gonna be that easy sweetheart."

"I know." I sighed knowing he was right, the angels probably aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Especially after what I did to Alastair.

"Are they asking about how I did it?"

"Yes." Judson admitted solemnly. Then he lifted one of my hands. "But they are also discussing the fact that the enochian gold was able to contain you."

"Is that because Luficer is an angel?"

"Probably so."

"So what, they'll just lock me up forever if I don't do what they want?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself sweetheart. We're just taking this one day at a time."

"Yeah." I mumbled cuddling into him, feeling sleep start to creep up on me.

….

"Morning." I smiled as I hobbled into Dean's room.

"Hey kiddo." He smiled back as he moved over to make room for me to sit on the bed.

"How you feeling?"

"I'm good. Sore, but okay."

"Look… I talked to Sam a little bit this morning. He said that I needed to ask you. Something he wasn't comfortable telling me? What's going on kiddo?"

"Dean. It's nothing… really. It's fine. I'm fine."

"Em, please tell me."

"… Did he tell you that Uriel made me watch?" I asked cautiously to change the subject. Dean's face fell.

"Yeah. He did." He answered shortly. "But can we just. Not talk about that?"

I nodded. Knowing that Dean couldn't stand to be the person in that room. Knowing the guilt it weighed on him.

"You're still De… my De. No matter what happened in that room."

"Thanks kiddo." He said as he kissed my cheek and pulled me in for a brief hug.

"You hungry?"

"Depends. You done changing the subject?"

"Dean… I don't want to lay anything else on our shoulders right now."

"Tell me now." He said crossing his arms.

I slid off the bed, and slowly showed him the cut under my shirt.

"He said he wanted it to match the other one." I whispered.

"Bastard." Dean mumbled as he closed his eye. "Did it do any damage or just superficial?"

"Um… Dean. Look. I'm okay. And… I'm still processing it, and I'm not upset. I'm just. Kinda taking it for what it is, so please don't make a big deal about it."

"Quit beating around the bush."

"They said that the knife hit my uterus… and they fixed it. But. The scar tissue will prevent me from ever being able to have children."

"What?!" He asked in shock.

"Everything still… works." I shrugged awkwardly. "It's just that if I was to get pregnant, I would lose it pretty quickly, something about it not being able to attach."

His face was torn… anger, and sadness. I could see his emotions battling themselves.

"De… It's okay. It's not like I ever intended to get pregnant anyways."

"It's not right." He shook his head. "… Whether you intended to or not, he took that away from you, and even if you're okay with it. I'm not Em… I'm not."

I didn't know what else to say, so instead I just wrapped my arms around him.

"Dean. Emily. Are you all right?" A voice called out. We both looked up to Castiel.

"No we're not. Thanks to you assholes." Dean said angrily.

"Dean. Stop." I whispered.

"You need to be more careful." Castiel said softly.

"You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap."

"That's not what I mean. Uriel is dead… We apologize. We were not aware of the situation, but Emily's accusations were confirmed and now he can no longer harm you or anyone else."

"So he got the death penalty?" I asked.

"Yes of course. It was disobedience. He was working against us."

"Is it true?" Dean then asked carefully. "Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?"

"Yes." Castiel admitted with a stone face. "When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you before you—"

"Jump-started the apocalypse."

"And we were too late."

I laced my finger through his. Watching the guilt in his eyes.

"Why didn't you just leave me there, then?"

"It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it."

"Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean?" Dean scoffed. Castiel went to turn away from us. "Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean!" Dean yelled angrily.

"I don't know." Castiel admitted.

"Bullshit."

"I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you."

"Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough."

"De stop… that's not true." I said as I squeeze his hand in mine.

"Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be." He said looking back to Castiel. "Find someone else. It's not me."

Castiel vanished. Leave Dean and I alone in the room. I looked up to his face. Watching as a tear made its way down his cheek.

"Dean…" I whispered. "We'll figure it out."


	82. Chapter 82

Author's Note: LONG TIME NO SEE!

I am alive! I am okay! But I am now a married woman! I'm so sorry I've been MIA for almost SIX MONTHS NOW. When I looked at the last time I updated a story I about fell out in the floor. I'm so sorry you've all had to wait so long. I'm going to try to get back to updating on a regular basis again, so please. If you've wandered away then come back home! I'm still here. I haven't given up on Emily's story, there is still so much I want to tell you guys about! Please read and review! Let me know you're still here! Let me know you don't hate me for disappearing and letting life get in the way! Love you all so much, and dammit I've missed talking to you guys!

"Dammit. Dammit. Dammit." I mumbled to myself. I'm going to be late AGAIN. I'm just praying I beat Mr. Smith into the office. Unfortunately my pencil skirt and wedges don't allow me to run, only briskly walk as I enter the Sandover Inc. building.

I slammed the elevator button over and over and over again, tapping my foot as I watched the numbers count down slowly.

"Running late?" One of the IT guys, Sam, asked.

"Yeah. Again." I sighed.

"Eh, it happens. Late night?"

"Yeah. Another fight with Luke." I said quietly. Sam smiled at me slightly. He and I usually wander in around the same time, catching the elevator up together.

Just then it dinged and the doors opened. Sam stuck out his arm and let me step on just before him. Then he leaned down slightly.

"You know, you don't have to take his crap Emily. If he can't see what he's got then you deserve more."

"Thanks Sam." I smiled as the doors opened to the tenth floor and he stepped off.

"Have a good day Emily."

I rode the elevator the rest of the way up to the twenty-third floor and stepped off. Instantly taking the chai latte to Mr. Smith's office. I knocked twice and pushed the door open.

"Hey Emily, good timing I just walked in." He smiled then set his briefcase down on the desk.

"Well I'm glad to hear that! Are you ready for your meeting this morning?" I asked handing him his morning drink.

"I think so. I went over the spreadsheets again last night. I think that we can really save the man up top a lot of money and trouble if we can just get him to agree to make a few adjustments."

"I'm sure he'll see how hard you've worked, and that this makes sense. I got faith in you." I smiled softly.

"Thanks Emily. I wouldn't be able to do it without your help."

"No way. This was all you, Mr. Smith."

"Emily. Did we not agree to call me Dean?"

"Dean." I nodded. Then turned to walk away after pushing my hair behind my ear.

"Hey, Wait…" He called me back over. Oh no… He saw it. I uncomfortably pulled my sleeves as far down as they would go.

"Emily. I thought you told him to get lost."

"I did." I whispered. "But he was so sorry…"

"Sorry enough to do it again? Let me see your arm."

I rolled up my sleeve, showing the handprint bruise that wrapped around my forearm in a dark purple tint. Just above the one that was finally turning a yellow hue. Dean inhaled a deep breath and held it before releasing, sliding my sleeve back down before meeting my eyes.

"Is he gone?"

"No." I whispered. "I crashed at my friend Jo's last night."

"Who's the apartment under?"

"Me."

"Then why the hell is there and you're not?!"

"Because it was just easier for me to leave."

"He's leaving. Today. Either by choice or in cuffs."

"Dean, you have to give any tenant of the residence a 30 days notice by law before evicting them."

"But his name isn't on the lease!"

"It doesn't matter. He can prove he's lived there so by law he's a tenant."

"That's fine. We don't need the police. I'll contact the security guys, Bobby will have a crew over there by the end of the day and he won't be back."

My eyes watered as I slowly sat on the edge of the desk.

"Dean. Please I don't want to get anyone else involved in this… I can get rid of him. I just. I didn't want to escalate things any further last night."

"If he isn't going by choice, then you call me. Deal?"

"Deal." I finally surrendered.

…

I stood in line at the coffee cart tapping my foot, looking at my watch impatiently with my bag of chips in hand.

"That looks very nutritious." A voice called from behind me. I turned to find Sam smiling behind me.

"Dean is getting out of his meeting in 30 minutes and I'm in a hurry to meet up with him, I'm dying to know how it went."

"Come on… I brought enough for two." He said as he nodded me over to a table in the courtyard. He unzipped his lunch bag and handed me half his turkey sandwich, I opened my bag of chips and set them in the middle of us.

"Thanks… again." I laughed.

"Anytime."

"So, how goes the crazy dream streak?"

"Don't even ask… it gets weird." Sam mumbled.

"Ooohhh. Do tell."

"Last night I had a dream that I saved a reaper named Tessa from demons."

"A reaper? Like scary dude in a black robe reaper?"

"Uhhh, no. She looked like me and you. I told you it was weird."

"Eh, could be weirder."

"So how's it going with Mr. Smith? You think you'll be up there for a while, or that they'll ship you back to the mail room?"

"I hope they keep me." I sighed. "Dean is super nice, very respectful. He has a bright future in this company, hopefully if I do my job correctly then I can move up along with him. I would probably cry if I had to go back to the mail room and work with that creepy Ian dude again."

"Haha, Ian isn't so bad… just a little. Horny." Sam laughed.

"Yeah yeah yeah."

"Any of the guys up top give you a hard time?"

"A few of the older guys, especially the bald guy, Dean's boss? But I don't want to make things hard on Dean, so I've just kind of avoided the guy as much as possible."

"I understand that, but if it goes too far you gotta tell someone. Promise?"

"I know. I promise."

"Alright… you got ten minutes to get back upstairs. Good luck."

"Thanks Sam."

I rode up the elevator excitedly, knowing that Dean had done well, it was just a feeling in my gut. When the doors opened I met eyes with him in the hall, he smiled and raised his eyebrows, discreetly telling me how well things had gone since he was surrounded by a few of the other men from the big office.

"Well Dean, I'm very impressed with you. You did good son." Mr. Adler praised as he put a hand on Dean's shoulder as they walked towards me.

"Well thank you, I must say though, my assistant Emily here has been a huge help, Emily this is Mr. Adler." Dean introduced us. Unfortunately we already knew each other… Mr. Adler gave me the creeps. Always have. Always too friendly when I delivered his mail, and even more so when I moved up to be Dean's assistant.

"Oh this one, she's special." Mr. Adler said turning his attention to me. Shit.

"Thank you, I really just have a great guy to work for and that makes all the difference." I said smiling to Dean.

"Well then I'll let you two get back to it, Dean. I'll be in touch with an answer from the man up top."

"Yes sir. Thank you." Dean said shaking his hand as he walked away.

Dean and I stepped into his office, and he turned around picking me up and spinning me in a hug. I giggled slightly.

"I'm sorry! I just… That could not have gone any better!" He said as he put me down.

"It's fine, Dean. I knew it would! So what do we need to finish up on for today?"

"Well… if you could get those reports from IT finished today then you're free to go. I'm probably gonna be here late anyways. But you don't have to stay."

"You sure? I don't mind."

"Nice try… you're busy tonight and you know it. I'm serious. You call me if he gives you even a hint of trouble about leaving."

"Okay, promise." I nodded as I stepped out. I went back to my much smaller office next door to Dean's and began pulling reports from IT. Which thankfully only took a couple of hours. I was out of the office by 3. Luke gets off work in a couple of hours.

I rushed back to the apartment and began packing his things into trash bags and boxes that I found laying in the closet. All of his clothes. His stupid sports trophies. His stupid sports magazines. Everything that said "Luke" cleansed from my home. It hurt.

But it hurts more to walk into your own home every day scared of what will come next.

My phone dinged. A text from Jo.

JO: Hey, need me to come be back up? He should be home anytime now.

Emily: No. Let me handle this one. Hey… I know this is kinda weird, but if you haven't heard from me in an hour. Call my boss, Dean. I'll attach his number.

JO: Dean? As in sexy boss Dean? As in please blindfold me with your tie and bend me over your desk Dean?

Emily: JO! Stop! That is my boss.

JO: Yeah, yeah. I'll be waiting for your call. You better call!

Emily: I will. Promise.

I laid down my phone and then picked it back up again… I slipped it into my nightstand drawer, just incase he gets vindictive. I continued by going around and grabbing my most valuable items and hiding them in random places.

Until I heard the front door open. I stepped out of the bedroom, and met him in the kitchen.

"Hey babe." He smiled as he walked towards me with roses in hand.

"Luke. Stop." I said crossing my arms and backing up.

"Em, come on. You know it was just a stupid little fight."

"I told you not to touch me again." I said quietly.

"I was drunk baby. I didn't mean it."

"I don't care." I said looking down at the floor. "You have to leave."

"Leave?!" He scoffed. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"No. I packed your things." I said as I looked towards the couch in the living area. He followed my line of sight, then threw the flowers at me.

"Fuck you Em. I mean seriously? Where the hell am I supposed to go?"

"Call your mom." I shrug.

"She lives over an hour away. I have a job and shit here in the city."

"Not my problem." I said folding my arms a little tighter. Hoping that if I kept my bluff going he'd buy it and just go… but the look in his eyes wasn't reassuring.

He went to the fridge. Popped the top off of a beer and began slinging things out of the cabinets.

"LUKE! Stop!" I yelled jumping in front of him and pushing him backwards. He shoved me against the counter.

"No! This is my fucking apartment too! You can't just throw me out."

"Yes I can. I made the lease. I can do whatever the hell I want." I bluffed.

"Fuck you. I ain't leaving. You can fuck off."

"Luke, I mean it. LEAVE."

"Or what? You gonna make me?" He asked getting right up in my face.

Just then a knock on the door caught his attention.

"Who the hells there?!" He screamed. No reply. Just three more knocks. Slow. Steady.

Luke stomped over to the door and ripped it open.

"Dean." I whispered as his eyes met my tear streaked cheeks.

"You must be Luke he looked up and smiled."

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Detective Branch, and I'm here to make sure you leave the property with no hassles for this young lady." He smiled as he held up a badge. Damn that shit looks real.

"What?!" Luke asked looking between Dean and I. "You know this guy?!"

"Like I said… you have to leave. Now." I replied.

"Man. This is some fucking bullshit." Luke said as he tossed his beer towards the kitchen, missing me by only a couple feet.

"HEY." Dean yelled. "Knock it off or you're leaving in cuffs."

Luke grabbed his bags and stomped his way down the halls, then the stairs. The sound of his heavy boots on the steps were more relieving then I thought they would be.

I leaned against the counter and held my hand to the bridge of my nose.

"I'm so so so sorry Dean." I began to whimper.

"Whoa whoa, no it's okay. I got a call from your friend."

"I'm sorry. I didn't even realized it had been an hour since I talked to her. I should have texted her back."

"No way. He wasn't leaving. You made the right call."

"Nice badge." I smirked.

"Yeah, borrowed it from a friend."

"Thanks for coming by, I know you're super busy tonight."

"No, it's fine. I was finished at the office anyways."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely. Dinner? We can celebrate the meeting today."

"I need to clean up around here." I said looking at the mess in the kitchen.

"Well, here, let me help and we'll be out of here in no time."

"No, Dean. I can't let you do that. You've already done so much. I'm just gonna stay in tonight, incase he comes back."

"Do you want me to stay for a while?"

"No, Dean. Really I'm okay. He's gone. I'm just gonna clean up and go to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, call if he shows back up."

"I will."

"Goodnight, see you in the morning."

"Night Dean." I said as I closed the door behind him.

I walked back into the kitchen and shrank into the floor with the broken plates and took a deep breath. Trying to figure out what's next…

….

Cop cars were everywhere. City coroner? What the hell is going on?

I walked up the steps into work and people were all whispering, a few crying. Reporters from local news stations were being cock blocked by security. I kicked up the speed a little, but this morning I didn't meet Sam at the elevators. What the hell is going on?!

I got on and hit my normal floor. But the elevator first stopped at Sam's floor. I held my breath as the coroner rolled a body past the open doors as people climbed on. I pushed my way off, in search of Sam. But first I spotted Dean. I rushed over to him.

"Dean. What's going on?!"

"I'm not sure you wanna know."

"Where is Sam?" I said looking around.

"Who?"

"My friend. Sam. He works down here."

Just then I met eyes with him, giving him a relieved smile, he looked at me worried, then away again.

"Is that him?"

"Yeah." I nodded. "So who was it?"

"I don't know… some guy named Paul. Blew himself up in the microwave."

"I'm sorry… WHAT? Paul Dunbar?!"

"Yeah, Yeah… that's him."

"Dean… he was gonna retire in two weeks."

"Something about this isn't right. C'mon." Dean said as he led me back to the elevator and up the stairs to his office where we began searching through Paul's personnel files.

"I don't get it Em… why would someone who is two weeks away from retirement do something so gruesome?"

"I don't know. Paul usually was laid back. Friendly. I don't get it… I'm gonna go down and check on Sam. See if he knows something I don't."

"Okay. Hey, did Luke come back last night?"

"No. It was quiet. Thanks again." I smiled as I walked out the door.

I got back on the elevator and rode down to Sam's floor again, then wandered the cubicles until I came across his.

"Hey." I said crouching down beside him. "How you holding up?"

"I'm. I'm confused. I mean. He was fixing to retire?"

"I know. He should have been happy right?"

"Yeah. What's the word up top?"

"There isn't one really. Just… a lot of speculation. I told Dean I was gonna come down and check in on you, see if you knew anything."

"I wish I did. All I know is he was acting kind of weird yesterday."

"Weird like how?

"Like he was stressed about, trying to get something done."

"Do you know what?"

"No. But now Ian is freaking out too."

"Ian? Horny Ian?"

"Yeah."

"Dude that guy never worries about anything up here. He waltzes around like he owns the place."

"I know. But he's acting weird. I'm kinda worried about him."

"Well, let me know if we can do anything okay?"

"Yeah. Will do Em. Be careful."

"You too."

I went back up to Dean's office and filled him in on what Sam had informed me. He seemed as lost as I did about the whole thing… but something just. Isnt' sitting right. Something about this feels… familiar. Why am I not terrified? Why am I stuck on this? Why can't I let it go?

Why can't Dean?

Just then a knock came on the door.

"Hi. Ian, is it? Yeah, come on in. Yesterday you filled out a 445-T and no problem, just a few errors when we did your switch over to Vista. So I'm sure you're used to filling out the dash-R's, am I right?" Dean said handing him a file that I pulled yesterday.

"Oh, no." Ian moaned.

"No no no. It's fine. It's fine. I just need you to redo one today so I can get the show on the road with the invoicing."

"Oh my god." Ian trembled.

Dean and I shared a concerned look it.

"Ian it's fine. Just refile it and we're square." Dean said kindly.

"I can't believe I did this." Ian shook his head.

"Ian, come on. It's fine." I reassured him.

"I can't believe I—I can't believe I did this." He continued to ramble. I looked up to Dean. Something was wrong. And he knows it.

"Hey, guy, come on." Dean smiled at him.

"No, no. It affected profits. It—I screwed up. I—I can't—I can't—I am so sorry. I—how could I do that? I failed Sandover. I failed the company."

"All right, why don't you sit down, Ian?" I offered pulling out a chair.

"No." He said running out of the office, Dean got up and ran after him.

"Ian? Ian. Hey."

I followed until Dean rushed into the bathroom behind him.

I waited outside the door…

"Somebody help me!" Dean yelled after a minute. I rushed in, seeing Ian with a pencil shoved through his neck and a panicked Dean holding him on the ground.

…..

More cops.

Another body bag.

More questions. This time for Dean and I. Dean had answered all the police questions without falter. But something had shaken him up. I saw it on his face.

"Get your buddy up here. Now." He said as he slid back into his office. I stepped over to my desk and dialed downstairs.

"Tech support, this is Sam."

"I need to see you in Dean's office. Now."

Sam hung up before replying. I stepped into Dean's office where he was buttoning up a new shirt. His was covered in Ian's blood.

"He's coming."

Just a moment later Sam comes through the door.

"Come in. Shut the door behind you." Dean told him walking around to the front of his desk. Sam shut the door quietly and made his way further into the office. I leaned against the desk. Feeling again… something similar to Déjà vu. Something about the three of us being together? I just don't get it.

"So now… Who the hell are you?" Dean asked.

"Sam Wesson. I started here three weeks ago."

"All right. You cornered me in the elevator talking about ghosts. And now..."

"Wait what?" I asked. But Sam just replied.

"Now what?"

"Now nothing. I, uh...so you started working here three weeks ago, huh?"

"Yeah, me too."

"And me…" I added.

Fucking. Weird.

"When you were in that bathroom with Ian, did you see something?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I saw."

"Dean you must have seen something. I've never seen you so shaken up." I interjected.

"Well.. maybe."

"Wait. Are you saying that—did you see a ghost?" Sam asked.

"I was freaking out. The guy penciled his damn neck."

"You did, didn't you? Okay, listen. What if these suicides aren't suicides? I mean, what if they're something not natural?" Sam began to ramble.

"So, what, ghosts are real? And they're responsible for all the dead bodies around here? Is that what you're telling me?" I then asked.

"I know it sounds crazy. But yes. That's what I'm telling you."

"Uh-huh. Based on what?" Dean responded.

"Instinct." Sam answered after a moment of silent contemplation.

"I've got the same instinct." Dean nodded.

"Ditto… something's off here guys."

"Seriously? You know those dreams I was telling you about? I was dreaming about ghosts." Sam said turning to me.

"Yeah. I remember." I nodded.

"And then it turns out that there's a real ghost."

"So you're telling me that your dreams are special visions and you're some kind of psychic?" Dean then asked.

"No. I mean, that would be nuts. I'm just saying something weird is definitely going on around here, right? So I've been digging around a little."

Sam then pulled a stack of papers out of his shoulder bag.

"I think I found a connection between the two guys." Sam spoke again as he laid out the papers on the desk.

"You broke into their email accounts?" I asked as I skimmed the emails.

"I used some skills that I happen to have to satisfy my curiosity."

"Nice." Dean nodded.

"Yeah. Okay. So it turns out Ian and Paul both got this same email telling them to report to HR, room fourteen forty-four."

"HR's on seven?" I questioned.

"Exactly."

"Should we go check this out?" Dean suggested.

"Like right now?"

"No. No, it's getting late. You're right."

"I am dying to check this out right now." I interjected.

"Right?" They simultaneously turned and replied.

The three of us were making our way down the hallway on the fourteenth floor when we heard the faint sound of someone screaming.

"What the hell?" I mumbled as I stood still for a moment and listened, grabbing Dean's arm to get his attention.

"What?"

"Did you hear that?"

Suddenly another scream erupted, the three of us took off down the hallway in search of the room, only to find the door to be locked.

"Dammit!" Dean shouted as he shook the handle.

"Move." Sam demanded as he reared back and kicked down the door.

"Whoa." Dean breathed before we rushed in, finding an IT guy with a shelf laying on top of him. Sam and Dean rushed to lift it off.

"Dean look out!" I yelled as an old man appeared out of nowhere. Dean is instantly flung into the air, Sam shoved to the side. I picked up a large wrench and charged at him from behind, swinging it wildly, but when I expected it to make contact the man again vanished like wind beneath the wrench.

Sam and Dean rush to release the man, who runs out of the room in panic and fright.

"How the hell did you do that?" Sam turned to ask me.

"I… I…" My breathing became shallow and rapid. "I don't. I don't know."

"Whoa whoa whoa breathe." Dean said as he grabbed me by the arm.

"It's okay. We're okay… lets get the hell out of here."

….

"Holy crap, dude." Dean shook his head as he lead us into his amazingly nice apartment on the upside of town. This place was like four of my apartments.

"Yeah. I could use a beer." Sam sighed.

"Oh, sorry, man. I'm on the Cleanse. I got rid of all the carbs in the house." Dean replied.

"Hey. How the hell did you know that ghosts are scared of wrenches?" Sam then turned to ask me.

"I don't know. I just. Acted."

"Crazy, right? And nice job kicking that door too. That was very Jet Li. What are you, like a black belt or something?" Dean asked Sam.

"No. I have no clue how I did that. It's like...we've done this before." Sam mumbled.

"What do you mean, before? Like Shirley MacLaine before?"

"No. I—I just can't shake this feeling like I—like I don't belong here. You know? Like I should do something more than sit in a cubicle."

"I think most people who work in a cubicle feel that same way." I shrugged.

"No. Well, look, it's more than that. Like, I don't like my job. I don't like this town. I don't like my clothes. I don't like my own last name. I don't know how else to explain it, except that...it feels like I should be doing something else. There's just something in my blood. Like I was destined for something different. What about you two? You ever feel that way?"

"I don't believe in destiny. I do believe in dealing with what's right in front of us, though."

"All right, so, what do we do now?" I asked.

"We do what I do best, Em. Research." Dean smiled.

Dean sat at a desk in the corner on a laptop, Sam and I sat in front of another on the table.

"Oh, jackpot." Dean called out.

"What you got?"

"I just found the best site ever. Real, actual ghost hunters. These guys are genius. Check it out."

Dean got up and sat his laptop on the table and we slid ours out of the way.

"Instructional videos." Sam mumbled as he clicked on a link to Ghostfacers website.

"We know why you're watching." One of the two men began to speak. "You've got a problem. A ghost problem."

"A ghost-related problem. A ghost—it's like a ghost-adjacent pr—it's like a problem that's—and the ghost is—" The other man spoke. He's an idiot obviously.

"Whatever. You've come to the right place. The only decent place, really, because the Ghostfacers know how to solve it. Watch and learn."

"See, the first step in any supernatural fight: Figure out what you're up against."

Sam began typing on his laptop again, looking up the history of the company, suddenly the man from the office came across the screen.

"That's him!" I jumped up and pointed. "That's the ghost."

"P. T. Sandover. Died 1916. Devoted his life to his work. No wife, no kids. The article text visible next to the picture reads "Office 1444 was considered to be the center of the company's operations, with Sandover himself overseeing all details of any construction project the company undertook. / Considered to be a difficult person to work for, P.T. Sandover had an exceptionally high standard of quality, often marching onto construction sites and halting all work until he personally inspected each aspect of the structure. Aiming for perfection is perhaps why the Sandover legacy is so impressive, dominating the industry with the scale and scope of its projects. Used to say he was the company, and his very blood pumped through the building."

"Wow, okay. So slight workaholic. Maybe he's still here, you know, watching over the company, even killing for it." Dean guessed.

"Plus, turns out this isn't the first time people started killing themselves in the building. 1929." I said pointing to another news article on the screen.

"Yeah, but lots of guys jumped off lots of high rises that year." Dean shrugged.

"How many companies had seventeen suicides?" I countered.

"Phew. Okay, so P. T. Sandover, protector of the company. His ghost wakes up and becomes active during times of grave economic distress".

"Well, I mean, the worst time we've seen since the Great Depression—" Sam added.

"Is now. Yeah, now sucks. My portfolio's in the sewer. I don't even wanna talk about it."

"So Sandover's helping the bottom line—"

"By zapping some model employees." I concluded.

"Yeah. I mean, Ian and Paul. It was like he turned them into different people." Sam nodded.

"Perfect worker bees, exactly. So devoted to the company that they would commit hara-kiri if they failed it." Dean agreed.

"One more interesting fact. The building wasn't always that high. Used to be fourteen floors. And the room where the ghost attacked, fourteen forty-four? Once upon a time, that was the old man's office."

We went back to the Ghostfacers site.

"Once you've got that thing in your sights— You kill it. Using special ghost-hunting weapons. First, salt. It's like acid to ghosts. Next up, iron." Ed and Harry continued.

"That's why the wrench worked." I mumbled outloud.

"Pure power in your hand. Dissipates ghosts instantly. Next little trick. We learned this from those useless douchebags— That we hate. The Winchesters. Gun. Shotgun shell. Pack it up with fresh rock salt. Very effective. Winchesters still suck ass, though. Affirmative. Suckage major."

"Where do we even get a gun?" Dean asked.

"I have one that my daddy gave me before I moved to the city. Don't tell anyone though… its kind of illegal." I said as they both gave me weird looks.

"Right. Back to the video." Dean nodded.

"The aforementioned super-annoying Winchester douchenozzles also taught us this one other thing. You have to burn the remains. Okay, this next part gets a little gross. Sometimes you might have to dig up the body. Sorry. It's illegal in some states. All states."

"Sandover was cremated." Sam quickly pointed out.

"Crap. So what do we do now?"

Before anyone could answer the video continued.

"Now, if the deceased has been cremated— Don't panic. Just gotta look for some other remains. A hair in a locket, maybe. Fingernails. Baby teeth. Genetic material. You know what we're talking about. Go find it. Fight well, young lions. Godspeed."

….

"Set your cell phone to walkie-talkie in case we get separated." Dean advised as we rode up the elevator.

"How the hell are we gonna find some ancient speck of DNA in a skyscraper?" I asked.

"Well, that creepy storeroom used to be Sandover's office, right?" Sam offered.

"Let's do it."

Dean reached up and pressed the button.

Once off the elevator we quietly made our way down the hall and into the office. Sam begins rifling through a desk full of paper sand Dean and I started searching the shelves.

"What the hell are you doing here?" A voice made me jump. Sam froze behind the guard out of his sight, and Dean took my signal as I told him to lay low.

"Oh! Hey! How are you Craig?" I smiled cheerfully as I slid the gun to Dean before walking around to face him.

"Come with me. Now."

"Wait… Craig. Please I'm just working on a project for Mr. Smith. Trying to secure my spot and all you know? I really don't wanna end up back in the mail room." I said with a fake tear in my eye.

"Whatever. Tell it to the cops. You know you can't be in here. I'll lose my job for not turning you in."

"Craig… just. Think about it. What if you were on your evening break. And you had no idea I was here… Come on. I know your wife always meets you down in the parking lot with a cold turkey sub." I smiled kindly.

He stared at me and crossed his arms.

"I swear, This will never happen again. Or I will call the cops."

"What will never happen?" I winked before he turned and walked out the door.

"Damn! That was close." Dean laughed handing me back the gun after Craig was well out of hearing range."

"I'm not finding much… Let's split up." Sam suggested.

"Okay. Me and Em will go up."

"Okay I'll start downstairs since both guys so far were out of the IT department."

….

Dean and I were wandering the halls, looking for anything of historical value that could be linked to Sandover.

"You feeling better?" He asked me casually. "You've had a pretty eventful couple of days."

"Umm… I don't know. I mean. The Luke thing has been hard. And the ghost freaked me out… but I gotta say I kinda agree with Sam. Something about this feels like. Me? Is that weird?"

"I don't know. I don't know what to think anymore Em. I never pictured this being my life. I don't know how we would even do it?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Maybe its just losing Luke and discovering Ghosts all in one week… I guess I just don't really have a grip on reality right now."

"Hey. Check this thing out." Dean said looking over to a display up ahead of us.

Before I could reply Sam's voice cut in.

"Dean, Emily? You there?"

"Yeah, listen, I think we got it. Meet me on twenty-two."

"Okay, yeah. Just, uh, take the stairs. Don't get on any elevators."

Dean and I gave each other an odd look.

When Sam arrived we noticed the blood he was covered in from the chest up.

"Sam! Are you okay?!"

"Whoa. That's a lot of blood."

"Yeah, I know."

"Right. So, uh, in there." Dean pointed out the display case with P. T. Sandover's work gloves that we had discovered only minutes ago. "Yeah, how much you wanna bet there's a little smidge of DNA in there? You know, like a fingernail clipping or a hair or two? Something."

"So you guys ready?" Sam asked us.

"I have no idea." I sighed.

"Me neither." Sam said as he took out a container of salt and Dean pulled out the poker. I lifted my gun, with its salt shells loaded.

"Go for it." I nodded to Dean. He took a deep breath and smashed the glass. Suddenly a chill crept over me and I could see my breath.

"Guys…" I whispered. But suddenly Sandover appeared behind Dean and flung him against the wall. Then Sam. I lifted and shot. The bullet exploding and hitting sandover, causing him to dissipate.

"Nice!" Dean cheered as he got up.

"Hurry up before he comes back!"

"Emily look out!" Sam shouted. Suddenly something hit my chest and I was in the air, gun flying out of my hand and sliding across the floor. I coughed as I slammed against the wood work.

"HEY!" Sam shouted getting Sandover's attention. When he turned Sam flung salt through him and he disappeared yet again.

I struggled to get up again as Dean oured some lighter fluid over the gloves and then Sam dumped some salt.

"LOOK OUT!" I yelled as Sandover appeared and flung them both backwards. His hands lit up with electricity as he began to reach for Dean. I crawled over to the pack of matches laying on the ground.

"Sam! Catch!" I said before throwing them. Sam caught them deftly and set fire to gloves and we watched as Sandover flamed out and disappeared for good.

"That was amazing." Sam said out of breath.

"Right? Right?" Dean nodded excitedly.

I sat back against the wall and held my hand against my probably bruised ribs.

"You good over there kiddo?" Dean then called out.

Something about those words sat funny with me. Something. Familiar. Something… deep.

"Yeah. Yeah." I nodded him off and stood.

…..

"Man, I gotta tell you, I've never had so much fun in my life." Dean said as we entered his office. He went and pulled out the first aid kit from the drawer.

"Me neither." Sam smiled at me. I smiled back in agreeance.

"Was a hell of a workout too, wasn't it?" I asked.

"We should keep doing this."

"I know." Dean laughed.

"I mean it. There gotta be other ghosts out there. We could help a lot of people."

"Right, we'd be like the Ghostfacers."

"No, really. I mean, for real."

"What? Like, quit our jobs and hit the road? "

"Exactly." I smiled.

"How would we live?"

"Uh... "

"You gotta be kidding me. How would we get by? With stolen credit cards? Huh? Eating diner food drenched in saturated fats? Sharing a crap motel room every night?"

"That's all just details." Sam rebuttled.

"Details are everything. You don't wanna go fighting ghosts without any health insurance." Dean argued.

"All right. Um. Confession. Remember those dreams I told you about with the ghosts?"

"Yeah?"

"I was fighting them. With both you. We were these, like, hunters, and we were friends. More like family, really. I mean, what if that's who we really are? I mean, you saw us back there, working together. The ghost was scrambling people's brains. What if it scrambled ours?"

"That's insane." Dean shook his head.

"Is it?" I countered.

"Emily. You just told me less than an hour ago that losing Luke and discovering ghosts had you questioning your life. You really want to make rash decisions based on that? I mean. Look ar yourself. Your bruises are gonna heal and this time they don't have to come back. He's gone! Now we now that there are things out there that science can't explain. We have knowledge that can help us in THIS life. We can be safe. Prepared."

"Wait what bruises? Luke hurt you?" Sam then asked me.

"Oh she didn't tell you?" Dean countered.

"It doesn't matter!" I shouted and interrupted. "Think about it for just one second. What if we think this is our life, but it's not?"

"Hey, the ghost is dead and we're still standing. I mean, I'm sorry, but—"

"Look, all I know is this isn't who we're supposed to be." Sam interrupted.

"No. I'm Dean Smith, okay? Director of Sales and Marketing. I went to Stanford. My father's name is Bob, my mother's name is Ellen. I have a life."

"When was the last time you talked to them? To any of them?" I asked.

"Okay, you're upset. You're upset, you're confused—" He said coming to put his hands on my arms.

"I'm fine Dean!"

"Look man, I only moved here 'cause I just broke up with my fiancée, Madison. But I called her number and I got a damn animal hospital." Sam then added.

"Okay. What are you saying? Are you trying to say that my family isn't real? Huh? That we've been injected with fake memories? Come on."

"All I know is, I got this feeling in my gut. And I know—I know that deep down, you gotta be feeling it too. We're supposed to be something else. You're not just some corporate douchebag. This isn't you. I know you. Both of you. And you know me."

"Know me? You don't know me, pal. You should go." Dean said crossing his arms.

Sam shook his head and left.

"Dean… please. Just. Think about this tonight. Okay? Just. Consider the possibilities." I begged.

"Emily. Go home. Get some rest. Tomorrow you'll feel more like yourself. Okay?"

"…. What if I don't want to Dean?"

….

The next morning I came to work later. Spending a little extra time laying in bed before deciding if I was going to even get up and show up. Or if I was going to pick up the phone and try to call my daddy again… sure that'd I'd get the same 'wrong number' message. Something isn't right.

But here I am. Walking up to the elevator. Going up to Dean's office. Latte in hand.

"Morning Em." He smiled at me. "I really think we can knock out those reports today if we work through lunch."

"So this is how we're gonna do this?"

"Do what?" He asked as I handed him his latte.

"Pretend last night never happened?"

Before he could respond a knock came to the door.

"Got a minute?" Mr. Adler said as he opened it.

"Sure, of course." Dean waved him in.

"I'll step out." I said quietly.

"Oh no, please don't leave on my behalf he smiled. Blocking my exit to the door. Fuck.

"How are you feeling, Dean?" He asked.

"Uh, great."

"You look a little tired. Been working hard, I gather."

"Yeah." Dean shrugged.

"Ah, don't be modest. I hear everything. And I'm pleased with what I'm hearing. That's why it's important to me that you're happy." Adler pulled out a pen and a piece of notebook paper, and writes down a five digit number. "How's that for a bonus?"

"That's very generous."

"Purely selfish. Wanna make sure you're not going anywhere."

"Wow. Are you sure?"

"Positive. You are Sandover material, son. Real go-getter. Carving your own way. And Emily here completes your team. You two together. It works."

"Well, thanks. We try." Dean smiled to me.

"I see big things in your future. Maybe even senior VP, Eastern Great Lakes Division. Don't get me wrong, you'll have to work for it. Seven days a week, lunch at your desk, but in eight to ten short years, that could be you."

Dean looks up to me… and I can see it in his eyes.

Years. Ten 'short' years.

Come on Dean… See this. See that this isn't right. Something is off.

I saw the flicker. The change. The decision was made.

"Uh, well, thank you. Thank you, sir. It's, um...but... I am giving my notice."

"This is a joke. You're kidding me, right?"

"No. I've—I recently—uh, very recently realized that I have some other work I have to do. It's, uh, very important to me." He nodded to me.

"Other work? Another company?"

"No, I—it's hard to explain. Um. It's just that this—this is—it's just—it's not who I'm supposed to be."

Suddenly Adler looks between the two of us and smiles.

"What?"

"Dean, Dean, Dean. Finally."

Two fingers touch mine and Dean's forheads.

"What the hell? Why am I wearing a tie? My God, am I hungry." Dean said looking down.

"Omg… who the fuck wears shoes this tall?!" I bitched as I slid them off my feet. And since when do I have fucking spanx on?!

"Dean. Emily. Welcome back."

"Wait. Did I—did I just get touched by—you're an angel, aren't you?" Dean pointed out gathering what has just happened. I moved to stand closer to him at the word angel. He automatically pushed me behind him.

"I'm Zachariah. No need to fear. I'm not here to take her away."

"Oh, great. That's all I need is another one of you guys. What do you want then?"

"I'm hardly another one, Dean. I'm Castiel's superior. Believe me, I had no interest in popping down here into one of these smelly things. But after the unfortunate situation with Uriel, I felt it necessary to pay a visit. Get my ducks in a row. And of course to apologize in person. Emily. We are truly sorry for the misfortune."

"Misfortune?! What kind of bullshit is that! Do you know what was taken away from her?!"

"We do."

"Well can you heal it?!"

"Unfortunately we cannot heal wound created by that particular knife… no."

"I am not one of your ducks." I then spoke up. Pushing my way in front of Dean. "I am not a fucking pawn. Or a weapon. I am not a fucking toy, used for your entertainment. I am a fucking person, and I want to be left the hell alone!"

"I'm sorry. We will interfere as little as possible but surely you understand that we can't just leave you alone? We have no idea what you'll do."

"Where is Judson?" I then asked.

"Oh.. yeah. Him." He rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers. Suddenly Judson appeared in the floor of the room, bound and gagged.

"Oh my god! What the hell?" I said as I rushed down to him and began untying him.

"Well we couldn't have him interfering. Again."

"So what the hell was all this? Huh? You fuck with us just to shake things up? Hm? So you guys can have fun watching us run around like ass clowns in monkey suits?" Dean interrupted.

"To prove to you that the path you're on is truly in your blood. You're a hunter. Not because your dad made you, not because God called you back from hell, but because it is what you are. And you love it. You'll find your way to it in the dark every single time and you're miserable without it. Dean, let's be real here. You're good at this. You'll be successful. You will stop it."

"Stop what? The apocalypse, huh? Lucifer? What? Be specific, man."

"You'll do everything you're destined to do. All of it. But I know, I know. You're not strong enough. You're scared. You got daddy issues. You can't do it. Right?"

"Angel or not, I will stab you in your face." Dean replied angrily.

"All I'm saying is it's how you look at it. Most folks live and die without moving anything more than the dirt it takes to bury them. You get to change things. Save people, maybe even the world. All the while you drive a classic car and fornicate with women. This isn't a curse. It's a gift. So for God's sakes, Dean, quit whining about it. Look around. There are plenty of fates worse than yours. So are you with me? You wanna go steam yourself another latte? Or are you ready to stand up and be who you really are?"

With that Zachariah was gone.

…..

The car was quiet. Too quiet to have four people riding in it. The darkness gave us an excuse to at least pretend we were sleeping. But we couldn't even do that correctly. We sat awake with our eyes wide open. Dean not even bothering to hum along to the radio.

I curled into Judson a little tighter.

"You okay?" He whispered.

"I'm fine Jud… Promise."

"You know we're gonna make it right Em? We're gonna be okay."

"Yeah. I guess."

"No guessing to it. You three together… you can do anything. You've already proven that to the world so many times. You just gotta keep your head up baby. We'll get through this. We'll get Dean through this."

"I love you." I looked up to him and whispered.

"I love you more."


End file.
